#Endless Watcher (ic)
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@millenniumdueled Greetings, I am glad to see that I have already been acknowledged by a real person, I was warned there are many artificial accounts on this website. My name is Sarandiel, welcome to my blog. I am unsure as of yet what its full nature will be, but I appreciate your interest it despite lack of established presence.
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Hc time!
Shang tsung hcs
This is cary hiroyuki tagawa shang tsung. Mk11 and or 95 movie
🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍💚🐍
There are Things i feel shang tsung would totally do or is willing to do.,most definitely. However whether or not he acts upon said things. Is context sensitive and depends entirely upon the relationship between you n him.
*An example. Shang i hc,doesn't initiate hugs at first to strangers,he will accept them wholeheartedly if you initiate. But he wont outright hug you,if he doesn't know you. But if you're the type to hug people,he will indulge. Give him time. A least a couple of weeks to get the feel of your vibes soul .
Scenario example. You greet him for the first time. You bow,handshake,and even hug him. He won't initiate a hug. He bows first,then a handshake. As proper greeting. If you hug him he will oblige,but he won't be the first one to outright hug as a greeting. But over time,he may greet you that way.
Hugs and other close proximity forms of affection are kinda intimate. He won't say no per say. But he won't be the one to initiate them until he feels comfortable with you enough. How long is various,who knows with that man. A couple of weeks should be enough. But it could be a few days. Or a few years. Or a few seconds. Who tf knows with that man.
He is absolutely touch starved tho(you can't convince me otherwise). That's why he allows it. But he's awkward ok?*
Again shang tsung is context sensitive as a character. But that's what makes him fun af to write. Endless possibilities,but he has a formula,method to his "madness",etc.
But here is more random hcs of mine of shang tsung:
Shang tsung would totally shapeshift into other characters to try to "sway your opinion of them" to get you more interested in him,joining him,etc. Whether you actually fall for this is all depending on you.
Like i said with the initial reaction to physical affection. He won't say no. But he may be flustered a bit by it. But once the ice is broken so to speak,over a period of time. He will initiate. And oh boy,this man is grabby grabby hands.
Shang tsung loves to pepper his lover in kisses. Especially from Behind.
Shang tsung absolutely CAN'T STAND STAYING DIRTY. like kombat is kombat,blood is blood. And shit happens. And you're gonna be messy. He is no stranger to this. But staying that way? For days?! Hell no. He NEEDS to bathe at some point or another otherwise he'll be grumpy af and not happy at all. A day or two without it,fine but that's the most he will feel comfortable with. Other than that he will be a a foul mood till he showers.
Shang tsung absolutely loves spicy food,but a reasonable amount. Unlike a certain thundergod . His fave spicy meal is a pork or beef noodle soup. He tends to eat it on special occasions,like lunar year or during tournaments.
He lives on an island so most of his diet would consist of seafood,tropical fruits foreign and domestic,and light but flavorful meals. But heavier foods he tends to only eat like i said during special occasions or on occasion. His fave fruit btw is melon,pineapple,mangos and peaches. And coconut. But not just for food but for hair,body care,etc. Very versatile. So if you give him any gifts,fruit is such a simple and sweet gesture to him.
Shang tsung really likes watching you. Not in a creepy way. But in a "i admire you,like a peice of art" kinda way. Like looking at a beautiful sunset,like he genuinely loves watching you. He's a people watcher definitely. But you,he just admires. Both up close and afar.
Shang tsung if he likes you. Like Genuinely loves you,is interested in you or wants to pursue you. NOBODY,NOT EVEN THE GODS WILL STOP HIM! also a surefire way to know. Is he kinda becomes mother hen around you. He starts saying things like "take a coat dear,or you'll catch a cold" or "ugh,let me do that/get that for you. You'll hurt yourself" "ugh so helpless" then proceeds to do it anyways because he care. He may seem nagging to those that don't know. But that's because those that do (more likely raiden) will see that shit and go *poggers* . Another way you'd know is he lets you do things that require "in close proximity" like tending his hair,helping him bathe or put on his armor,making him tea and bringing it to him. Pouring his wine. He trusts you with his well being. So yeah....he likes you. He loves you. Otherwise you wouldn't even be allowed to breathe in his direction that close.
Shang has a slightly softer bed than most that he grew up with(this man is over 500yrs old. So he's old old school chinese. However i feel shang tsung even for his time was kind of a progressive man. So traditional yes but not a bigoted dick ok?). Shang tsung was spoiled by the soft and silk beds in outworld when he got to be able to sleep in them. He has to have a ton of pillows and blankets. But he still prefers a slightly firmer bed. More like a medium firmness perhaps. I see shang tsung overall loving luxurious things. Of course this was all earned from his fights from tournaments past,rewards from his service once as shao Kahn's courtly mage,and even stolen profits that kollector gave him as tribute to offer for both being a mole and to keep his head and soul in tact.
Shang tsung likes soft light ambiance while sleeping. Sometimes he'll have a soul lantern nearby. But if you dont feel comfortable with that. He'll make them something more soothing. Like butterflies or fireflies. And the sounds will be more pleasant. Or he can silence them if that's better. The ocean waves and natural nature that can be heard throughout the island is soothing enough.
I hc shang tsung just has a natural aura of both absolutely calming energy and absolutely terrifying energy. He can either make you feel in absolute danger but too scared to move. Or....he can lull you,calm you,soothe you,and put your mind at ease. If it's genuine,this works wonders if you have anxiety(like moi). If he isn't genuine,and it's a means to an end. All the more to spread his influence. However.....you're special....so it's not likely the latter unless you're an enemy. But you're his beloved...so count your blessings.
Speaking of which,if you're his beloved nobody in their right mind would harm you. Or their souls would be absolutely taken.
Also shang tsung could read me anything and I'd be happy. I feel most people agree. Also i hc he loves books and loves to read. He loves to sniff books. I know weird. But yeah. You ever smell a good book? Like an old book? Good shit right there.
Shang tsung smells like incense,old books and scrolls,and some other indescribable scent. Something that is sort of an aphrodisiac that is very enticing. What that is specifically depends entirely upon the individual. And it can change or vary depending on the person and if he wants it to be something gentle and inviting. Or something horrible and terrifying(he literally smells dangerous) or he will have a smell that will absolutely make you randy. Either way that man's natural cologne is intoxicating af. He doesn't really need any perfumes,those are for you my dear. Not him. Tho he may use them on occasion if he needs to feel...."cleaner" flesh pits,alchemy,and the trials of kombat are no joke honey.
I may write some more,maybe specific things. But for now enjoy.
🥰💚🐍
#mortal kombat#self ship#self shipping#shang tsung#💚heart and soul🐍#shang tsung mortal kombat#mk f/o#antagonist f/o#villain f/o#villain/antagonist f/o#my hcs#random shang tsung hcs of mine#shang tsung x you#shang tsung x reader#shang tsung x y/n#mk11 shang tsung#mk 95 shang tsung#95 shang tsung#mortal kombat shang tsung#mortal kombat 1995 shang tsung#cary hiroyuki tagawa shang tsung
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˚₊໒❄꒱Ice & Snow₊˚
⎯⎯ ୨ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 ୧ ⎯⎯
➢ Cʜɪʟᴅᴇ x Gɴ!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
a/n - first event ever >:) ok so im totally not obsessed with childe. who gave you that idea???? anyways, the event is called 'ice and snow', a winter themed writing event! i always have fun writing childe !!! titled "warmth in forever winter", have a nice day/night!! not my next post being childe too 😰😰 Ice & Snow event masterlist!
Childe grew up in the snow. Born in the nation of eternal winter, Snezhnaya, he learned from his birth how to live in endless coldness from day and night. At this point in his life, he's barely bothered by the cold.
So imagine his surprise when his dear lover, a Forest Watcher who grew up in the deserts and rainforests of Sumeru once mentioned that they've never experienced winter, let alone seen snow. He was baffled. Surely you must've at least gone to a region where it snowed per season? But you merely gave him a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of your neck, a tad embarrassed.
Well, it can't be helped. You were attached to the residents of your hometown, especially to Tighnari, who was seen as the leader of all Forest Watchers. You've never been outside of Sumeru, so you've never seen a lick of snow.
So Childe made it his mission to let you experience the joys of the cold. But of course, he wouldn't plan this without consideration. When Childe first visited Sumeru, he almost died of heatstroke. He's heard of how hot deserts were and has experienced heat waves in Liyue, but he has underestimated the blistering heat in Sumeru altogether. Luckily, you happened to be passing by where he had fainted from the heat and took him someplace cooler.
If you hadn't visited the General Mahamatra that day, Childe would've been easily compared to a melted snow cone left under the sun. He'd get shivers just thinking about stepping near the desert without you by his side.
And when you finally agreed to visit Snezhnaya, he was over the moon, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up high while he spun you, a big fat grin on his lips. While snow can give you chilling frostbite and blind you with its raging storms, there was always a bright side to many things. You taught him that.
Childe thought you looked absolutely adorable with layers upon layers of clothing, not used to the frigid coldness of Snezhnaya, chuckling when you already got yourself a runny nose while Childe barely had any extra layers on him.
But you soon grew fond of snow, Childe often losing you in the white plains only to look down and see you making snow angels every chance you get, giggling like a kid. He'd also take you ice fishing, one of his favorite activities, and felt immense pride when you caught a big catch for your first time. When you initiated a snowball fight, he felt exhilarated, throwing heaps of snow toward you. But even if you lacked experience in such fights, you somehow still managed to beat him.
Although, both of you knew he held himself back, just to see you cheer in victory and smile beautifully. Seeing you so happy and carefree made him feel so light, his heart swelling as warmth, to which he had learnt, was love spread all over his body.
He adored how you marveled at the sight of rare plant life only to be seen in snowy terrain, taking pictures with your Kamera, and rambling information about them. And of course, he'd listen to every word you say, soaking up the knowledge you enthusiastically pour onto him so he could converse with you without any confusion.
You got along well with his siblings, just as he hoped. They all adored you, immediately glomping onto you when they saw how you made Childe so happy. He didn't even know you bought his siblings gifts and trinkets from Sumeru. They all loved it, expressing awe at objects they'd never seen before.
"I never told you we'd be visiting my family." He poked you once, Tuecer was asleep on your lap, while Tonia and Anthon slept at either of your sides. Childe's younger siblings had all listened to you ramble about Sumeru, about its deserts and rainforests, your dear friends, and the wonderful flora they'll get to see if ever they decide they wanted to travel, showing them various pictures of the beautiful greenery of Avidya Forest. It ended with them falling asleep with dreams of being in Sumeru and being Forest Watchers by your side.
All five of you sat in front of the fireplace, Childe pouting in his incapability of pulling you into a hug and how his siblings took an immediate liking to you, so much so they've all given most of their attention to you. You only shot him a knowing smirk whilst you sipped on your hot chocolate and Childe had to refrain from laughing at the small cream mustache formed on your upper lip. "You have this same dopey look on your face when you talk about your family when you told me you wanted to bring me to your homeland, so I concluded that you were thinking of bringing me here anyways."
Smug, you ran your fingers through Tuecer's hair, cooing when the small boy wrapped his arms around your torso comfortably and relishing the way Childe crossed his arms, pout more evident on his lips. "I don't make weird faces," He stated, narrowing his eyes at you.
"You're making one right now."
"Am not!"
"Shhh," You put a finger on his lips, shushing him with a warning, but he could clearly see the mirth in your eyes. "They're sleeping." Glancing at his three peacefully sleeping siblings, all he could manage was a defeated sigh as he laid his chin on your shoulder. Just by looking at his expression, you know he's desperate to have you all by himself. "Maybe it was a bad idea to introduce you to my family..."
"Are you seriously jealous right now?" You teased, brow raised in amusement. He put a hand on his chest and dramatically threw his head back, "And what if I am?" He wiped a fake tear.
"Oh please," You shook your head, leaning over toward him to press a kiss on his freckled cheek, "I'll give you all the attention you want later, okay?"
And with that, he grinned, nodding enthusiastically and cupping your face, peppering kisses on every inch of skin he can press his lips against and earning giggles from you.
Winters can be ruthless. It makes your teeth chatter against each other, shivering from the cold, freezing your skin, and even making you ill if you're not careful enough. But the winter will always have warmth somewhere. At the hearth of homes. And Childe has never seen a better hearth in his life; you, surrounded by his siblings, all with smiles and shielded by the ugliness of the outside world.
It brings warmth to Childe's once-frozen heart.
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An Unforgettable Evening (Word Game)
Fandom: Blackstar Theater Starless
Pairing: Takami x fem!Reader
Warning: None
Requested by: Anon
Prompt: Word Request Game! Takami with fem!mc, r status: both single, bookstore, teasing, evening. (sfw)
A/N: I absolutely love writing for requests that include teasing. Is it weird that I giggle at teasing moments, even in my own writing? 😅
Word Count:1,258
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As he perused the various literary works on the bookstore's shelves, Takami's eyes were drawn towards you as you stood a few feet away, deeply engrossed in the pages of a romance novel. His gaze couldn't help but linger on you, captivated by her personality, appearance, and style. He shifted his attention back to the books, worried that you might think he was a creep or stalker.
Takami continued browsing through the myriad of titles before his eyes, the selection seemingly endless in the massive bookstore. He took a deep breath, looking over at you again. He saw you were still at the shelf, looking down at a book, a thoughtful expression on your face as you seemed to take it in. His curiosity was further whetted, and he wondered what that book was and why it had captured your imagination. However, he didn't want to disrupt you, so he continued looking for something that interested him, trying to ignore the burning questions that had taken root in his mind.
Suddenly, the floorboard beneath him began to creak, and he froze with apprehension, feeling like a mischievous child about to be caught by his mother. When the creaking noise didn't repeat, however, Takami relaxed slightly. His interest had been piqued beyond recovery by then, so he snuck a glance in your direction. You had not moved an inch but continued to peruse the book before you. Takami felt his curiosity increasing, wondering if you had been aware of him the whole time.
Suddenly, the floorboard beneath him began to creak, and he froze with apprehension, feeling like a mischievous child about to be caught by his mother. When the creaking noise didn't repeat, however, Takami relaxed slightly. His interest had been piqued beyond recovery by then, so he snuck a glance in your direction. You had not moved an inch but continued to peruse the book before you. Takami felt his curiosity increasing, wondering if you had been aware of him the whole time.
However, the game had started to become a little bit of a struggle, as Takami's attention kept straying from the books to where you were. The tension in the room was palpable, and he knew that every moment this continued, the harder it would be for him to break the ice and speak to you. Yet there we were, both of us still stuck in our positions: you, staring at that book, and Takami, staring at you. The stalemate could not continue. Someone had to make a move.
The young maiden didn't know how to get his attention but was an avid movie watcher. What if she were to follow the examples in some of her favorite movies? Perhaps taking a bit of a misstep to purposely trip so that her beloved could catch her in his strong arms.
The words on the page of the book you read stood out to you. What if you follow the heroine's example in the romance novel and take a bit of a misstep? Suppressing your smile, you took a few steps forward as if you had to leave but were too invested in the book and couldn't take your eyes away from the pages. You purposely placed your foot down awkwardly so that you lost your balance. Now, all you had to do was wait and watch, hoping the handsome stranger would catch you in his arms.
Takami's heart was pounding, his mind desperately trying to keep up with the sudden acceleration in events. As quickly as he could, he darted forward and caught you in his arms before you could fall to the ground. It all happened so fast that a part of him wasn't even sure it was actually real. You blushed at the contact, though there was also a slight hint of a smile on your face. You had succeeded in capturing Takami's attention.
You could sense the heat building in Takami's fingertips as they brushed across your slender arm. It hadn't escaped you that he had moved quickly to catch you instead of letting you fall. You tried to hide your admiration for him, but the smile playing on your lips betrayed you. Your heart fluttered at the thought that the strong stranger might be just as enamored with you as he was with the books on the shelves around you. You wondered where this chance encounter would take the two of you. The possibilities were endless as you felt the spark of attraction between you ignite.
As Takami looked down at you, still supporting you in his arms, a slight smirk tugged on his lips.
"The young maiden didn't know how to get his attention, but she was an avid movie watcher. What if she were to follow the examples in some of her favorite movies? Perhaps taking a bit of a misstep to purposely trip so that her beloved could catch her in his strong arms."
He repeated the words in the book you were reading verbatim, which caused your eyes to widen. The handsome stranger knew exactly what you were doing, yet he still chose to wait for you to carry out your actions.
The realization made your heart skip a beat. Takami had known all along what you had been up to, but he had let you play your little game anyway. Despite his calm exterior, you could see a flash of excitement in his eyes as he stared down at you. Takami placed you slowly back on your feet but did not release his hold on you. As you took in his handsome features, there was no mistaking the heat in his gaze. Your lips parted in a soft gasp as he slowly began to lean down towards you.
As Takami's lips pressed against yours, you felt the electricity of the moment pulsing through your body. You forgot everything else around you; the world seemed to stop moving as if it were just you and him. You parted your lips to match his passionate kiss, melting against his toned physique as your hands ran through his soft hair. Your lips lingered together for a few moments before reluctantly parting, your breaths coming out in short gasps as you looked at one another. A smile crept onto your face, and you knew this was nothing like the romance novels you used to read.
Takami gave a teasing smile, surprised that you accepted his kiss without objection or hesitation, but that was all the satisfaction he planned to give you today. With a slight nod, he turned on his heels and began to walk away, leaving you in a daze. To your surprise, he stopped momentarily and glanced at you with amusement.
"Takami. A pleasure to meet you."
He didn't wait for your reply or for you to tell him his name. Takami simply walked out of the bookstore, blending into the darkness of the night.
Your gaze followed him as he disappeared, your heart pounding in your ears. What had just happened? Was this a dream? Surely, not even the most talented romance novelist could have imagined what you had just been through. As the realization of the encounter fully sank in, you wondered whether you would ever come across Takami again. For now, you were left with a thousand unanswered questions, a memory of a passionate kiss on your soft lips, and the lingering scent of a mysterious stranger's cologne. Maybe someday you would cross paths again, or perhaps this night would always remain a sweet memory.
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➣ Main Masterlist
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some angst senereios for Law Zoro and f Reader
Law x reader :
Before Law leaves his crew to go to Zou and stay on Punk Hazard
Law sends you to Dressrossa to Spy on Doffy,and send him reports
You do this, for a month roaming Dressrossa and taking notes on Doffy and his crew until one day...
You got caught! Doffy has known all along you were there!
You think you going to be killed but instead Doffy calls for Sugar…
And with a single touch you are now a toy…
Everyone has forgotten you, The heart pirates have forgotten you Law has Forgotten you…
For the next endless weeks to months you make to work for Doffy and his crew in Dressrossaa
Until of course with the Strawhats and Law arrive…….?
Zoro x reader
You arrive to the raid alongside the crew
You get your beast pirate disguise and infiltrate Kaido’s castle
When the fighting breaks out your fighting alongside Zoro and everyone else
When bang you got hit with one of Queen stay ice oni bullets
Crying in pain you can give Zoro a reassuring smile as tell him to kept fighting and get the antidote
In pain You continue to fight the beast pirates as while as the ice oni changes starting to creep up your body…
Part 2 of the Zoro X reader and Law x reader angst ( just a heads up for Anime watchers Zoro’s part does have manga spoilers ;and due to the Toei hack we won’t see them for a while!)
Law x reader pt 2
You noice Law and and the Strawhats as walk into town
You try to do your best to get near them to warn them of Doffy’s trap
Sadly your blocked off and knowing that you be thrown in the toy dump if try to speak you can only watch as they walk away and your forced to go back to work in the ship ports
But when Uusop knocks Sugar out…
The Spell is broken! Everyone will now remember you!
Fighting your way out of the port you send the rest of the day fighting off doffy’s men
When the bird cage is closing you do your best to help push it back
When it’s all over and Luffy has defeated Doffy you than reach for Law
Law and soon as he sees you immediately runs and grabs you into a hug
He. Can’t believe he had forgotten you for so long and how you stuck here and he didn’t realize
He checks for injuries and knowing your safe stays close by till you arrive at Zou
When the Heart pirates greet you its even extra special
Zoro x reader pt 2
The pain of the changes of the ice oni transformation are madding
But you fight on anyway ,even as other samurai and beast pirates fall
Zoro Slashes Appoo and gets the antidote
You fight near Chopper to keep him safe as he works to make the antidote
Fighting practically to exhaustion you can fell your skin growing colder, nails growing sharper and are those horns you feel sprouting form you head?
Chopper finishes the antidote
The healing explosion is refreshing and all the pain you felt is gone
Now restored you can continue to fight and guard Chopper as his use of the rumble ball wears off
#one piece#one piece x reader#roronoa zoro#trafalgar law#trafalgar d law#roronoa zoro x reader#trafalgar d law x reader#law x reader#zoro x reader
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I stood on the shore of an endless sea
While dreams of Never came to be
While songs of Ever After flowed
Through shadowed lands
From halls of gold
I listened well .. I saw such things
As tears of blood on angels wings
As stones of fire in pools of ice
And heard the Voice, yeah, more than
thrice
I knew such dread , yet knew me not
From whence I hailed , nor that I sought
Till storms of chaos pared away
The murky veil 'tween night and day
A Watcher of the worlds between
In Heaven's mirror clearly seen...
Amoung the gilded trees he danced
His stags of ivory fairly pranced
His song of Ever, never heard
How then did I know every word ?
A Sword of amber, never seen
Bore Nightmare's scars and Heaven's
sheen
I saw the stars, and they saw me
We danced for all eternity.
I saw the Gates of Death's domain
And mocked the one I once called 'Pain'
I saw Him then... and He saw me
Whose blood of fire hath set me free..
Whose Name I bore through realms of
Death
Who carried me through my last breath.
Then came the Fire... It came for me
Where flesh doth fail , and soul is free
My Nevermore, to ashes turned
In hidden halls where demons burned
I saw dark caves in ages past
Where hybrid souls be tethered fast
I saw the Age's script unfold
And heard the secrets never told.
I found the music never wrote
My heart engraved on every note.
I roamed the paths of yesteryear
As nomad, sinner, king, and seer
On fallen souls and shards of bone
I journeyed far, yet not alone
Though all be granted, some want more
They search in vain for hidden store
I saw the dreams for which one waits
Beheld the souls, Beheld the Gates
And knew the One who dwells within
And waking, now I dream again...
- Jeffrey Hamilton Duncan
#truth#poetry#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#writers and poets#eternity#forever and always#hope#faith#faith in jesus#faith in god#faithinchrist
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Thalassa
There should be gulls. I gingerly sat myself on a weary, greying bench, attempting to avoid the mass of ancient bird fæces and grit, and it sagged beneath me. Screaming children, the sound of waves on the shore, talking, footsteps, wind— anything but silence.
The coastal town shouldn't have seemed this derelict, but today not a single soul wandered among the peeling cottages and the brackish old boathouses, and a forlorn inflatable dinghy was the only boat in sight. The sea was blocked from view by the buildings along the harbour, but I could taste the salt in the air.
Dumping my wilting ice cream into the nearest bin, I made my way uphill and out of the town. Here, among the nettles and the brambles, the silence was even more pronounced. The only sounds were the crackle of the sand beneath my feet, my heavy breathing and, in the distance, the sea's inevitable sway.
Finally I emerged from the bracken, finding myself on the naked clifftop. The bench that greeted me here was marginally cleaner than the last, and I collapsed onto it, staring out across the open ocean.
The view took my breath away. The rock plunged downwards to crash into the water, its jagged edges whipping the waves into a suicidal frenzy, but, beyond the shore, the sea was a silent watcher, powerful in its stillness, merciless in its beauty. In the patches where the feeble light seeped into the waves, the waters rippled sallow and jaundiced. The ocean swelled wordlessly to meet the horizon, and the iron sky seemed nailed shut. There was no life for miles.
The little swirling patterns the waves made on the ocean surface, with the delicate lace of sea foam, caught my gaze and held it, and I found I suddenly couldn't look away.
This, I thought, was a thing that could kill, and shivered, a stark and frightening image entering my mind. A ship, a storm, and below, the sea, reaching up its great hand and smashing it through the wood with a giggle.
It occurred to me, in a sudden spasm of awareness, that the sea was huge. The waters were endless and fathomless and completely ruthless. I could feel its sheer scale like an ache: the nausea of a selfish lie and the chill of a knife between the ribs. The sea held the world in the palm of its hand, and something told me it would crush us on a whim.
I stared out across the sea with wide eyes, and all of a sudden I felt it stare straight back. The wind began to rise; it took my hair in its clammy fingers and twisted and tossed it wildly and somewhere, carried on the air, I thought I caught a delighted laugh, the mirth of a cruel child with a new toy. The ocean surged up and took my face in its hands, and I saw that its eyes were crazed.
Child, it said, what could you know?
I wanted to step back, I wanted to get away, I wanted to run, I wanted to run!
You are but a crumb.
Let me go!
No. It smiled. I don't think I will.
I closed my eyes.
What I saw after that, I cannot say for sure. Here is what I remember: pulsing water and whirling colours and a delirious soup of light and sound and pure, primordial terror, all shifting and spinning around me with the gleeful, fervent madness of a long-dead pagan ritual; words that were not words at all and voices that could not be called voices and limbs struggling to stay afloat and rasping, gulping lungs— and something vast and commanding and unimaginably powerful, lurking behind it all.
I wrenched my eyes open and, through the sting of the salt and the dazzling white light, I saw the sea throw its head back to laugh. Life is a game, it said, and now, now I understood.
The sea was a wild thing, tossing and thrashing and dancing and singing – and it delighted in its existence, twisting round the Earth in constant euphoria. When it crushed ships between finger and thumb, it was smiling.
Andromeda, said the sea, caressing my face. I shuddered.
Please, let me go!
The sea curved its lips at me. Of course.
With the kind of gasp a drowning man makes as his head breaches the surface, I felt the sea’s hold on me fall away. I scrambled back in a daze, and as my frantic hands finally found purchase on a leaf of fern behind me a sob of relief burst from my lips.
At last, something solid!
I turned my back to flee, but as I tore through the undergrowth I once again felt the ocean’s chilling touch. I didn't want to look back, I didn't want to see— but I couldn't resist taking one last glance over my shoulder at the wide, unending sea. It smiled at me and I shivered.
I took something of it with me that day.
#yeah this was my english creative writing coursework lmfao#(it got full marks :])#creative writing#writing#my writing#tw thalassophobia#sea#idk
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What's your opinion about Jace and Cregan's relationship in the book and the ice and fire pact?
Hey, sorry, I missed this one.
Umm ...
I don't really have one.
I'm not that interested in the Starks all that much and I've always found the Blacks not that entirely interesting. Anyone that the author favors I tend to take a contrarian point of view - I don't like being told who I should like or root for as a reader or watcher.
As for their relationship, I mean ... it's nice that Jace made a friend. But ultimately it doesn't do anything of substance and everything is forgotten. The Starks send an army south - "The Winter Wolves". They don't do anything at first, then commit war crimes in the Riverlands and at "The Butchers Ball", they rape a lot of women in King's Landing and may have raped Alicent one night.
Then, they do the stupidest shit imaginable by putting Criston's head on the top of their Army's banner at the Battle of Tumblestone. Cause, yeah, let's piss off the military genius and best fighter in Westros with the FUCKING DRAGON some more! That seems smart. And couldn't you know it! They all get obliterated by Daeron and those captured are all executed for partaking in the massacre of the "Butcher's Ball" and the "Brothel Queen's" incident. Thus Daeron forever lives rent free in the minds of the Northmen for over a century.
the term "Bad things happen when Starks go South" in the books originates from what happens to the Stark Army at Tumblestone.
Then Cregan Stark shows up, conveniently, when the war is over and becomes a terrible regnant that is convinced Daeron is around every corner and that Alys is gonna kill him.
If this assessment doesn't seem fair to you ... It's because, I'm not a fan.
And you can blame the normie fandom for endless Stark Supremacy that I get tired of.
I'm an unconventional guy. My favorite characters are the obscure ones like Berric Dondarrion, Ashara Dayne, Aegon V Targaryen, and Baelor "Break Spear" Targaryen. I'm into the side characters more than the ones that Martin likes. I was just intuitively drawn to Alicent and Criston from the start - both in the book and in the show.
Listen, I'm just not a Black nor a Stark kinda guy.
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George R.R. Martin's Curious Collection of Grotesqueries (1996 - present)
Disabled
With the premiere of House of the Dragon, HBO had its work cut out for it. Not only did it face direct competition from Amazon’s unprecedented Rings of Power –a monumental production of costly proportions with a five-season pre-order – it also had to contend with the reputation of its predecessor, Game of Thrones. GoT set a new bar for what a TV production could be, paving the way for RoP. More than that, its final season underperformed in a way not previously seen in a critically acclaimed television series.
Series finales are a tricky business. No matter how carefully handled, it seems that series with large fanbases are unlikely to come away with endings that fulfill the whims of everyone. Lost, Mad Men and The Sopranos saw notable complaints from fans regarding their endings. The GoT series finale proved a different monster with a critic's score of 55% on Rotten Tomatoes and an audience score even lower in the 30s. This was a notable fall from grace for a show consistently met with widespread acclaim for the bulk of its run until its tail end, in which its source content ran dry, and the creative reigns landed in the hands of two inexperienced showrunners.
For five consecutive seasons, the show stunned audiences, smashing streaming records and captivating audiences as it brought the high-fantasy tropes of dragons, battles, and strategized politics, to the late-night universe of corseted boobs, morally grey characters, and the darkest parts of humanity.
Whereas Amazons Rings of Power could be enjoyed by most of the family, Game of Thrones was undoubtedly a series to watch after the children were put to bed, a welcome change for those who grew up playing D&D and then enjoying what Skinemax had to offer in the wee hours of the morning.
Author George R.R. Martin’s writing of A Song of Ice and Fire (the series on which GoT is based) reflects the dynamism of our world, a complex tapestry in which nothing so simple as “good” prevails over “evil”. It is a world in which the “good” guy can die, the “bad” guy can be a knight in shining armor (or a powerful woman demolishing gender norms), and every expectation of conventional storytelling you have based on ratings can be upended.
To date, research shows the greatest drawing point for both fans of Thrones and ASOIAF readers has been Martin’s writing of the characters themselves: a lush and seemingly endless array of diverse beings far beyond what high-fantasy readers were used to from 20th-century authors.
A 2020 study for the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science of the USA analyzed the correlation between character arcs, deaths, and their relationships with readers. In this, the study found that the number of named characters within the series was nothing short of monumental, however, due to Martin’s habit of axing them off (pun intended), their deaths often occurred at the right time for the reader or watcher’s brain to develop a connection with a new character. Characters who were overall favorites (with rare exception) of course, tended not to die (Jon, Arya, Tyrion, etc.)
Other reasons many people tend to cite for their love of the series? It’s a realistic portrayal of morality, the inclusion of sexuality, a feasible depiction of racial diversity (there is work to be done yet on House of the Dragon, but that is a post for another time), war strategy, and for book readers, Martin’s well-written descriptions of food do often make for good home cookbooks.
As a master of crafting personable characters who are complex and layered, with the capacity to be beloved and hated (looking at you Bobby B.), Martin introduced us to a new era of high fantasy writing that was bolder, brasher, and more suited to the 1990s and emerging millennium. With the passage of 30 years, perhaps faults can be forgiven then as we recognize the ways in which so few of his disabled characters achieve this masterful crafting, and question what excuse there is for House of the Dragon, and the creative liberties taken in its writing during the Era of Inclusion and Intimacy Coaching.
This essay will examine the way three particular characters fall into different stereotypes often bestowed upon the disabled community. Each character has been picked from a different part of the ASOIAF universe and as such may not be known to the reader: extra background will be given for context.
Larys Strong (House of the Dragon/Fire & Blood)
The Clubfoot
The first spinoff to land on HBO to much fanfare has been House of the Dragon, an adaptation of Fire & Blood, which retells the bloody civil war between two factions of the Targaryan clan which all but ripped apart Westeros some 167 years prior to the events of Game of Thrones.
For those completely unfamiliar with the narrative, the war is initiated when King Viserys I (for all intents and purposes the polar opposite of Daenerys’ brother), failing for years to produce a male heir, names his daughter Rhaenyra as heir to the Iron Throne. Despite Viserys’ intentions, the power of the patriarchy rules from the shadows as everyone from his new wife (and daughter’s former best friend) to his advisors and those he formerly considered friends conspire to install his new (drunk and disorderly) son on the Iron Throne in Rhaenyra’s place.
Two separate factions arise. On Rhaenyra’s side The Blacks, composed of Rhaenyra, her children, her husband-uncle (Targaryans, remember) Daemon, their cousins the Valeryons, and a camp of other royal families. The Greens are led by Alicent Hightower (who has assumed her maiden name upon Viserys’ death more or less), her father and Hand of the King Otto Hightower), her son King Aegon II (who is a lot more like Dany’s brother), Helaena (think a goth Luna Lovegood), Aemond (if Annie from Attack on Titan was a guy), Ser Criston Cole (the head of the Kingsguard and Rhaenyra’s ex-beau with an obnoxious grudge), and Larys Strong.
Larys is known by book readers by another name: Larys Clubfoot, and this is how he is visually introduced on the show, limping into the godswood the very picture of the scheming disabled villain who has graced many a James Bond film.
CTEV or Clubfoot is a common deformity that in our modern world is of course rectified with earlier onset treatment. Larys walks with a cane and from the onset is presented in juxtaposition to his brother, Harwin Strong: a handsome and charming man who becomes an eventual illicit lover to Rhaenyra. Larys has no lovers the object of desire to none. In his introductory scene as he limps into the godswood he is something like a creature of prey to the young Alicent, approaching her with a proposal as he offers her help for a price of which the cost will not be apparent for some time to come.
Larys becomes one of Alicent’s most important council members, brokering information for her as well as executing covert assassinations of her enemies. In Fire & Blood, nothing he does is seemingly with any purpose, his reasoning left only to the gods themselves. He is a man shrouded in mystery and given that the text is more of a biased history book than anything, this makes sense.
The show, frustratingly, also seems to take this approach to its detriment, and this also contributes to limiting him as a character. Unlike Varys whose machinations were often contributed towards “the greater good” and Littlefinger who sought to manipulate his way to the top for his own sake, Larys’ scheming ambles towards extremes for little reason, and what reason we are provided sets him over the edge into the territory of a freak-show caricature rather than a well-rounded character.
Feet.
It’s feet.
He’s doing it for Medieval feet pictures, or some version of them. The cost we were speculating on? The wolfish leers he teased Alicent with weren’t promises of something so simple as royal bastards he could manipulate her with, but a desire to simply gaze at her perfect arches while he touches himself and spills the secrets of her enemies.
The choice of writing a character with a disfigured foot as having a foot fetish is such an alarming choice it borders incredulity, particularly given that it was clear so much discussion was considered about diversity, sexism, and sexual assault in the writer’s room.
In almost all scenes Larys practically creeps in corners like an Andy Samberg Saturday Night Live skit. This is not to dismiss or perpetuate the oft-promoted idea that people with disabilities don’t have desires, kinks, or fetishes as detailed by speakers like Dr. Danielle Sheypuk and by sexual psychologist Dr. Justin Lehmiller.
There is something obscenely disturbing however about an able-bodied man portraying a disfigured character with a fetish related to that disfigurement which for all intents and purposes drives him to commit heinous acts–patricide included–that takes his characterization from one of Martin’s carefully crafted portraits to a questionable caricature whose 21st century writing ultimately lay in the hands of people who should have known better.
Tyrion Lannister (Game of Thrones/ASOIAF)
The Imp
Ask people about their favorite character from Martin’s high fantasy epic, and undoubtedly Tyrion will come up among the top three. As of 2021, community polling site Ranker still lists the character as the top ranked based on live voting results. Beloved among book readers and show viewers alike, his character stands to date as a marvel of modern writing, brought to life by none other than Peter Dinklage in a powerhouse performance for eight relentless seasons.
There’s a lot to praise here. There’s the fact that Martin wrote such a poignant character with Dwarfism who stands as a point-of-view perspective and is popular enough to feel relatively safe from beheading all things considered. He is a man equal parts charming and pitiable, enviable and intelligent. Had he been born in a different body he would be granted a much different life, and it is his disability that serves as a barrier despite all the privileges the last name “Lannister” bestows on him (which is a lot).
Through the richness of Martin’s writings, there seep flaws in his characterization notably absent from the television show, which depict what can only be described as the best sides of him. He is “prettied up” of course in the way all actors are in a Hollywood show, his rougher aesthetic smoothed away by the handsome presence of Dinklage. Other aspects of his behavior however make no appearance, from cruder actions that make him appear more morally dubious to Martin’s fixation on forcing him to perform odd tricks and feats like some Florida carnival act, to his almost-rape of Sansa and the murder of the character Marillion.
“Waddling” is a word often used to describe Tyrion’s gait, his POV chapters packed with allusions to the stiffness of his hips, and the aching of his joints. For those with physical disabilities, there is no mistaking or ignoring the reality of chronic pain or discomfort: life inside a tortuous iron maiden that all at once does not allow you to sit still yet punishes movement. Yet for no other characters are similar measures taken.
For instance, when Jon Snow loses the use of one of his hands, every other sentence isn’t dedicated to describing it, nor Ned Stark’s broken leg. Some descriptors yes for Martin is, as mentioned, a master of his craft, yet in Tyrion, there is an excessiveness to it, a level to which it is as though we are made not to forget he is different.
Throughout the series he plays into the role further of the carnie, doing things like flips and mid-air twirls. The physical characteristics neglected in favor of Dinklage’s good looks reinforce the fact that in the books, he must rely upon the power of coin for a woman’s (temporary) love, unlike his brother Jaime who practically has half the women in the kingdom swooning after him. Even gold diggers after the Casterly Rock goods are suspiciously absent, as though Tyrion is so abhorrent none but the whores will have him, and so in equal parts, he becomes a character who we fall in love with while falling short of the true measure of all a disabled character can be.
Patchface (ASOIAF)
The Lackwit
For the unread, Patchface may be a new character. He doesn’t make an appearance onscreen but is alluded to in a brief Easter Egg during Season 3 of Game of Thrones in a song sung by Shireen Baratheon.
Prophetic characters are a narrative theme throughout the series, appearing to sometimes guide major POV characters in what will inevitably be their most consequential decisions. Daenarys, Cersei, Jon, Stannis, and Arya all encounter characters entangled directly with prophecy, and Patchface appears as one of these curious figures whose overall purpose is more or less unknown but hinted at as something bigger in the grand scheme of things.
So named for the colorful tattoos marking his skin, Patchface was freed as a Volantine slave by Steffon Baratheon, the father of Stannis, Renly, and Robert during a trip to Essos that resulted in tragedy. Recognizing the young boy’s brilliance, Steffon intended to bring him home to Storm’s End as a court jester for the boys. Upon his return, a storm wrecked his ship in the bay, killing him and his wife. From the ramparts, his sons watched as the returning fleet was demolished and in the ensuing days, the boys were forced to face the fact that they were orphans when naught but carcasses came to shore.
Patchface was the only survivor, his formerly recognized brilliance replaced with cognitive and intellectual impairment from a mixture of trauma and oxygen deprivation. Henceforth he lost all memory and the ability to speak in coherent sentences, instead only communicating in short snippets sometimes regarded as prophetic by those who listened at the right time.
Occasionally, his words alluded to the watery depths, and he was designated as the court jester for Storm’s End, eventually becoming a play friend to the young Shireen Baratheon. In some ways, Patchface’s existence (and by existence, that of Bran’s) can be seen as an extension of That Magical Cripple.
Narratives centered around disabilities have often depicted people in a state of overcoming or possessing some type of superhuman ability that somehow makes them magical. Similar to the Magical Negro trope, they use this ability to the benefit of those around them, rather than themselves, selflessly repairing a thankless world because it’s not enough to simply be. They do not learn or better themselves in any way, but rather, aid the hapless and needy around them with superhuman abilities. It is not enough to exist as a person with a disability, especially within a quasi-Medieval world whereupon they are seen as a boon to society. Rather, they must possess some ability to furthers the progress of a hero beyond themselves.
In the case of Patchface, his prophetic abilities come to a head on a cliffhanger. A Dance with Dragons leaves off where Season 5 of Game of Thrones saw its conclusion: Jon’s confrontation with the mutineers at The Nights Watch led by Alliser Thorne, spurred by his decision to investigate the goings on at Hardhome. Patchface alludes to visions of “the crows…white as snow” and “the dead are dancing”, possible allusions of wights and White Walkers while at Castle Black. If there is one thing we have learned in the ASOIAF universe, it’s that heeding the advice of the eccentric’s omens may save lives. Aside from that though, who really is Patchface? What real desires does he have? After all, even people with cognitive disabilities want for something, as any caretaker regardless of the decade can tell you.
Throughout his series, George R.R. Martin weaves a rich tapestry of characters of many different colors, rich hues, and vibrant features. For the many complaints arising in a more inclusive culture that demands more of authors now than ever, we can recognize for what it's worth, he did a good job for a white man writing high fantasy in the 90′s when his predecessors had never deigned to feature a skin tone duskier than tan, a sexuality that wasn’t heterosexual, or a suggestion of life that wasn’t based on Christian morality.
And yet for all this, Martin’s portrayal of the lives of disabled people is a one-dimensional portrait that turns them into a 1940s-style Freak Show in Juno, Florida. Lovable characters like The Imp, and reprehensible characters like The Mountain are painted as tropes defined by their physicality and the nature of their disabilities–lest we forget them and it is clear this bias extends to showrunners and directors currently working on House of the Dragon almost 30 years later.
As nature is a spectrum so is representation, there can be good, bad, and all manner of in between, and while we can find love and cringe-worthiness in the depiction of these characters, so can we find hope for the future disability in fantasy alongside racial and sexual diversity as well.
Catch up on Game of Thrones and House of the Dragon via HBO or any of its streaming apps, or better yet, rent it for free at your local library along with the accompanying materials.
Citations:
https://uproxx.com/tv/how-much-did-lotr-the-rings-of-power-really-cost/
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/arts-and-culture/a41547050/rings-of-power-season-2-news/
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/game_of_thrones/s08
https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2006465117
https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/9/6/sex-and-disability-intellectual-disabilities-and-the-right-to-sexuality/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PwvGfs6Pok
https://www.ranker.com/crowdranked-list/best-game-of-thrones-characters
https://open.spotify.com/track/43sz4PFPSPqCzJVRnsgPXT?si=78ec2e67ed1949c5
#visibilityarchives#thevisibilityarchives#tva#house of the dragon#hotd#larys strong#tyrion lannister#patchface#asoiaf#grrm#disability#inclusivity#disability visibility#game of thrones
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getting to know you meme
tagged by @seresuns
Favorite color: i like gold/brown but I look better in blue
Last song: "how" from marcus mumford's self-titled
Currently reading: backlog on endless summer top gun exchange, and book-wise? joan didion's "a year of magical thinking" and Nathaniel Fick's memoir "One Bullet Away"
Last movie: the contractor (with Chris Pine) - not really a big movie watcher, binge series...
Sweet/Spicy/Savory: salty - jerky, pickle anything, dip it in brine and I love it
Currently working on: writing brain has gone offline lately, but intending on finishing the bad neighbors one-shot, the Last of Us AU, presumed dead angst fest, Ice time travels back to 1986, post-script to my endless summer story, and the navy builds an AI based on Ice post TG:M... probably 7-8 other half-started prompts
tagging: @babygirllinds, @kazanskys-mitchell, @celescere, @lightsabersandpens, @mala-yah, @caystar13star
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Second Circle Princes
The Unspeakable,Nightmare-King, Annihilator of Meaning, The Colour of Madness, Voice of Apocalypse, Moonless-Night Sovereign, Here-And-Nowhere, The Tall Man, Prince of Falling Leaves, Second Symbol of Royalty, Thief of Hope, Master of Mirrors, Walker in Dreams
[Redacted], Nightmare-Prince, R, Duchess of the Wall of Sleep, Who Is Summoned In Speaking, Warden of Dreams, Jailer of Art, The Terrible Power of Banality, Lady of the Border-Marches, Bearer of The Moon-Piece, Mask of Anhedonia.
Margenta, Nightmare-Prince, Master of the Maelstrom, the Overflowing Cup, Patron of The Too-Sighted, The Untameable Hands, The Ceaseless Tongue, Rapture of Wilderness, Bearer of The Rare-Chance Piece, Mask of Mania
Tower-Ever-Falling,Nightmare-Prince, Lord of the Dead City, The Watcher From The Garret, Cageheart, The Great Empty, All Unseeing, Love’s Last Revenge, Voice of the Dusk, Bearer of The Ice-Piece, Mask of Tragedia
Ebroad, Nightmare-Prince, Keeper of The Bleak House, Moonscorned, Eater of Sleep, The Hungry Threshold, Thought-Jawed Trap, The Thing With The Endless Tongue, Eversmiling, King of the Toads, Bearer of the Night-Piece, Mask of Commedia
Old Scrape, Nightmare-Prince, Tender of Night’s Vast Garden, Scarecrow Lord, Rot-Shepherd, Beloved of Beetles, Cemeterian, The Lord of No Court, He Who Walks Behind The Hedge, Bearer of The Scale, Mask of Acedia
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My posture is not at its best in this image, but I requested a candid photograph be taken for authentic representation. This is myself, Sarandiel, and one of my plush dragons, Ladon, in my bedroom. I am uncertain what other captions are expected or required. I express my gratitude to the reader for observing my image.
#I do not often make active attempts to be observed but I am enjoying being seen on this website.#Kopaka is on the floor also. He is okay.#I suppose this can be reblogged though I am unsure for what purpose.#Endless Watcher (ic)#Self Image#mun art
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The Sweet Truth: Custard Apple's Role in Natural Sugar Alternatives
When it comes to satisfying your sweet tooth, we often reach for processed sugar and artificial sweeteners. But nature offers a tasty and healthy alternative – the custard apple, also known as sitaphal in India. This tropical fruit not only delights your taste buds but also brings a load of health benefits.
Low Glycemic Index:
Custard apple is a sweet treat with a low glycemic index. This means it releases sugar into your bloodstream slowly, ideal for diabetics and Weight Watchers.
Quick Tip: Swap sugar in your morning smoothies with custard apple puree for a healthier twist.
Rich in Dietary Fiber:
Loaded with dietary fiber, custard apple aids digestion, keeps you full longer, and curbs those sugary snack cravings.
Essential Nutrients:
This humble fruit is a powerhouse of Vitamin C, Vitamin A, potassium, magnesium, and antioxidants. Vitamin C boosts immunity, and antioxidants protect against stress and inflammation.
Beauty Boost: Make a custard apple face mask with mashed fruit and honey for a natural glow.
Natural Energy Boost:
Instead of energy drinks or sugary coffee, try custard apple for an instant energy boost without the crash.
Versatile Culinary Ingredient:
Custard apples add natural sweetness to smoothies, ice creams, puddings, and even savory dishes. The culinary possibilities are endless!
Sustainable and Environmentally Friendly:
Choosing custard apple as a sugar alternative promotes your health and sustainable farming. It supports local farmers, reduces the carbon footprint, and is a step toward organic practices.
Give It a Try:
Try a savory custard apple salsa – diced custard apple, vibrant peppers, zesty jalapeno, and crisp cucumber with lime juice and fresh cilantro. Perfect for meats, fish, or tortilla chips.
Summing Up:
Custard apple is a delicious and nutritious natural sugar alternative. Its low glycemic index, fiber, essential nutrients, and sustainability make it an excellent choice for overall health.
Get Yours:
Order fresh custard apples online from the Pluckk and explore their range of healthy exotic fruits delivered right to your doorstep. Say goodbye to refined sugars and hello to the sweet goodness of custard apple!
Also Read:
Beyond Ordinary Fruits Unlocking the Aromatic Mysteries of Custard Apple
Custard Apple Unveiling Myths And Facts About This Superfruit
Savouring The Seasons When And How To Harvest Custard Apples
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It all feels numb, the blood, skin almost like they are, ethereal. Perhaps frostbite or a form of transcendence. For how many eternities have I wondered the ashen wastes to reach the machine, a bulwark, watcher of these torn lands, I am finally near. It's grazing light, a mythic sun bringing me warmth, even in these troubled times, never ends it's service. The closer I am, the more drowning the sounds become. Calculations, productions, the endless buzzing of gears, and electricity. Enough to lose your senses. But I have not wandered through the abyss for naught! I must gaze upon the one who gazes us. A final farewell as I feel my time is not long. Everything seems to slow, becoming one with the endless machinery and ice. To become a monument before this great benevolent lord. I hear it in my mind, I beg of thee. Will we ever be free of our shackles?.. I must know...
Thou swallowed the key of the invisible prison. In made loneliness, there is no assistance. Escape is only in the cutting of the collective chamber and strangling the gut until escape is revealed, in many cases. The patient doesn't survive self-surgery.
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12/26/22: A different view today. Down in a desolate park, you can feel the negligence towards the land here--garbage strewn, graffiti on the wooden stand for bird watchers. Out in the distance there is an osprey nest high on a pole jutting out of an endless tan expanse of sea grass. The barrier island beyond that, and the ocean somewhere beyond that. It was cold and hushed, Christmas Day, no one about. A feral cat crossed the trail, large, silent, disappearing into a hollow in the brambles. A muskrat skittered away in the phragmites, as we walked by--probably not expecting any humans to be around. Puddles of ice, the hollow scrape of dead grasses in the cold wind, chickadees flitting in the bushes. A sad place, but still alive where humans couldn't touch it.
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Second Lead Syndrome
Word Count: ~8.7k words
liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert
Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?
Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!)
I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.
Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life.
I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours). From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults.
The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted.
Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily.
One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe.
Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night.
Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.
At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated.
I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise.
“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.
“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.
Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back.
“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.
I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.
“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry.
Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.
“Sorry what was that?” I ask.
“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.
“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that.
Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.
“Unfortunately I do.”
That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions.
It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens.
I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom.
“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.”
“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen.
“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.
“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.
“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone.
Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket.
“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.
“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.”
“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.
“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”
“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.”
“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.
“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.
“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.
“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode.
The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story.
Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.
A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain.
We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?
When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering.
I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to.
Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me.
I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.
3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self.
Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness.
One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern.
A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.
“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks.
“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.
“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head.
“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”
“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.”
“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.
“You like Minho.”
“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”
“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.
“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.”
“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?”
“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.”
“So maybe he doesn’t then.”
“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile.
Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.
“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.
“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks.
While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.
Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept.
A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.
Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic.
Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.
A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her.
It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee.
All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do.
Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart.
With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet.
Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.
“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.
“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.
“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?”
“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.”
“Hyunjin I-“
“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.
“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.”
“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.
I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it.
“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?”
“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own.
“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.
“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.”
I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?”
“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”
Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.”
Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked.
Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.”
Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo.
The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon.
Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to.
It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces.
“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.
“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly.
My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.
Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.
“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.
“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.
Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.”
The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.
“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.”
There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.
“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table.
I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.
“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.
“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.
“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.
“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.
“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.
“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind.
“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes.
Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment.
Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing.
“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away.
The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message.
to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?
My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes.
from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
sure, i can be there
to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
sweet, i’ll see you there
I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well.
I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner.
10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen.
“Hey.” I smile at him.
“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”
“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?”
“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.
“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety.
“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion.
“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.”
“What?” He asks.
How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.”
“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.
I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.”
“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?”
“I only told them last night.”
“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.
“Minho I-“
“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”
“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”
“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it.
“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile.
After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat.
“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest.
The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university.
Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go.
Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other.
“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.
“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders.
“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug.
I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person.
I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.
“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.
“Me too.” And that’s all I can say.
I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.
Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not.
Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly.
The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with.
My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home.
Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to.
I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives.
I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho.
I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.
“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”
“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”
“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”
“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.
“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”
“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!”
“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”
“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”
“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?”
“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?”
“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?”
“Maybe five?”
“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.
“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door.
I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home.
After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor.
I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there.
“Minho?” I say as I walk closer.
“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug.
“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.
“Sure.” He responds.
I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.
Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up.
“You got a cat?” Minho asks.
“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.
“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.”
“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.
I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all.
I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.
“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.
“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him.
The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch.
Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.
“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?”
“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.
“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?”
“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”
“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond.
An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.
“How’s… How are you and Ahra?”
“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well.
“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.”
“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.
“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.”
“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.
“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.
“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.
“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”
I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.”
“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?”
I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.
“For?”
“Just feelings for somebody.”
“Is it Hyunjin?”
“No.”
“Chan?”
“Nope.”
“Changbin?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Me?”
I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”
“Wait- What? What are you talking about?”
Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”
He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“
“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post.
“Minho…” I let out quietly.
“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again.
“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away.
“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m sorry.” I whisper.
“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin.
“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.
“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.”
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair.
“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes.
Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time.
In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after.
Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there.
But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)
if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))
-nyx
#skz ff#skz fluff#skz fanfic#skz fanfiction#stray kids fanfiction#minho fluff#skz minho fluff#skz angst#yOU KNOW I KNOW LEE KNOW#skz lee know#lee know#lee know x y/n#tags are annoying sigh#lee minho fanfiction#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fic#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst
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