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theidiottoast · 1 month

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Hello there robocar poli fandoms today i want to talk about a Mecha anime that i recently watch these day and Its rarely talk to and also it had English dub- that you didn't know

This anime called zettai mutteki raijin oh or invicible matchless raijin oh in translate sorry if i misscorect

The summary of the story is an evil organisation which was named the Evil Empire (ジャーク帝国, Jāku Teikoku) comes to Earth with the intent to conquer and despoil it. From their fortress they launch a missile that will flood the world with (Akudamas (アークダーマ, Ākudama)), eggs of darkness which hatch into evil monsters called (Evil Beasts (邪悪獣, Jāku Jyū)) based on things that annoy or frustrate humans.

The "guardian of light" Eldran appears, an Ultraman-like entity who is sworn to protect the universe and Earth in particular then appears. Using the heroic robot Raijin-Oh, Eldran attempts to thwart the Evil Empire by preventing a missile from striking Earth. What happens instead is that the missile detonated against Eldran, throwing Raijin-Oh down to Earth. The robot crashes into Japan's Hinobori city(日昇町 (Hinobori Chō)) a neighboring town to Aozora and Harukaze, elementary school Hinobori Academy.

Eldran must leave to continue protecting the Earth, so he leaves the duty of defeating the Evil Beasts to a 5th grade classroom full of children, Earth Defense Class (地球防衛組, Chikyuu Bouei Gumi) in the school where he crashed. He entrusts the children with Raijin-Oh, granting each child a different role to perform in either operating or supporting Raijin-Oh. Eldran also transforms their school itself, so it can transform into a command center when Raijin-Oh is needed. Jin, Asuka and Kouji are chosen to lead Raijin-oh, but every day they have many amusing experiences in the school. Jin does not want to study, while his friends do and force him to do it by tickling him. (Based on Wikipedia)

Honestly i was really suprised that this anime is a bit forgotten media..and it had English dub- tho only in DVD..but you can watch the sub version on YouTube including the ova(yes this anime is on YouTube)

And also this is the first series that was part of the eldran series and there is two more series that were part of the eldran series such as:

"Genki bakuhatsu ganbaruger" or energestic explosion ganbaruger in translate and this is the second franchise of the eldran series...

The summary of the story' were take place after the event of raijin oh series (yes the eldran series is same timeline but the rest of the character of the raijin oh never appeard on ganbaruger except for eldran)

The summary of the story' is Ever since God Raijin-Oh had defeated the Evil Empire, peace has returned to Hinobori. In Aozora City (a neighboring town to Hinobori City where Jin and his friends lived), Toubei is trying to train his son Kotaro in the art of the ninja, but a bomb accidentally releases Gokuark, a great demon king of The Demon World (大魔界, Daimakai) that Eldran had been keeping contained. Eldran manages to contain him, but one of his servants manages to escape as well, and now attempts to free his master.

Eldran grants Raijin-oh's (mainly Ken-Oh, Hou-Oh, Juu-Oh) three new successor mechas named Go Tiger, King Elephant, and Mach Eagle to Kotaro and his two friends, Yosuke and Rikiya, as well as pilot suits that grant each of them a superpower. However, there are also cursed and each of them can turn into a dog when their identity is known to others by a dark wizard, Yaminorius so they kinda be like Hero in secret and other crazy shenanigans (based on Wikipedia)

This second series is had also had English dub but i can't find it anywhere from what Been searching that this anime is also aired in Malaysian but yeah lack of information about this anime is pretty hard and also this is forgotten media of course...

And here is the third series that were part of the eldran franchise:

Nekketsu saikyo go saurer or hot blooded strongest go saurer on translate and ITS the third series of eldran franchise

This series is take place after ganbaruger and the robot of this anime is dinosaur for some reason (i love it lol)

The summary of the story were The Mechanization Empire has succeeded in mechanizing the entire Solar System, with the exception of planet Earth. They had been targeting the Earth in both the present and the past (64 million years prior) at the same time, but their attempts to add it to their ever-growing empire are thwarted by Eldran, who entrusts the protection of Earth in the present to a group of elementary school children in the 6th grade from Harukaze City, the Saurers, who with the giant dinosaur-like mecha that were given to them by Eldran, Go-Saurer, battle against the Mechanization Empire and halt their quest to turn the Earth into another part of their dominion in space. (Based on Wikipedia)

And but sadly this series is never Been dubbed before...and the series is almost simillar to raijin oh using same element like using the school as. A base for the robots..but i like the launch sequense of the robots on the school i know this is 90 anime but man! I love it its like IM watching Gundam and a lot of details when the launch sequense had happened and also this series is on YouTube including ganbaruger but its sub only if you want to watch it..

And also the character from go saurer never EVER met the other character from the previous eldran series such as jin and Kotaro from prespective series (raijin oh and ganbaruger)

And THE ONLY character that were appeard in all of the three series of eldran franchise is..this old guy:

His name is general Takeda he was the chief of Japan earth defence force he was the Only character that appeard in raijin oh, ganbaruger and also go saurer at the same time and also he had a daughter name katsuya from ganbaruger series and suprisingly he was really usefull in raijin oh,ganbaruger and go saurer not just like typhical military that wasn't even doing ANYTHING like most of the Ultraman series (sorry Ultraman fans)

I kinda like this guys he was stern and stubborn old man that opposed the children in the prespective series but in the end he always trust the children to defending the earth and he Will always help whatever he can

Oh i almost forget turn out the eldran franchise is had ITS fourth and final instaltment of the series that you guys never heard of and it was on magazine only and never EVER make into a series what is it call again? Ah yes

This is the fourth and final instaltment of the eldran franchise that people never EVER heard about or should i say forgotten media

Its name is Kanzen no shouri daiteh oh or perfect victory daiteh oh in translate

Honestly i didn't have much information about this series because it was Made in manga or magazine to celebrate 10th anniversary of the eldran series

But i had the summary of the story' based on Wikipedia this is take place after raijin oh ganbaruger and go saurer:

A year after the defeat of the Kikaika's boss Kikaijin, Eldran, the spirit of the Earth is guarding the planet peacefully from the evil villain organizations that came from space or another dimension, while giving several groups of kids special mechas which let them protect the Earth for years. It was only a matter of time when this very peaceful day suddenly changed when a very new evil organization known as the Onigashima attacked Earth. The Earth Defense Force, now in the 2nd year of middle school, the Ganba Team now in the sixth grade and the Saurers now in middle school quickly rush to the attack and started fighting this new evil organization. However, the Onigashima managed to easily defeat the Eldran Robots with the pilots inside, which results in them turning into a giant golden sword. The golden sword appears from the sky and turn Gokuraku Elementary School into a base for Daiteioh. Tarou Oomomo is a very brash 5th grader of Class 5-3 along with Kakeru and Mai. The three students accepted Eldran's mission. Now with Asuka's cousin, Hiryu, they are able to fight side by side with each other. Now, riding in their battleship, the Gokuracruiser, the Dankettsu Team children from Class 5-3 are ready to help Jin and the others to fight against the Onigashima.

And suprisingly this time the three of the series of the eldran series finally meet each other first person to protect the earth with daiteh oh and also it was Made in ova only and can find on YouTube if you want to search it and sadly it was never EVER to Made into a series again lack of information

My opinion on the eldran series is ok but i kinda wish that sunrise continue this series more and i kinda wanted the other character from prespective series meet and also connected to each other and my Rating of this series ? Is 7,9/10 pretty good anime,best animation but i wish they continue this series! This series is a hidden gem and i was. Surprise that nobody talk about this series i like them! 👍👍👍👍

#anime talk #eldran series #zettai mutteki raijin oh #genki bakuhatsu ganbaruger #nekketsu saikyo go saurer #Kanzen no shouri daiteh oh #forgotten media

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adrianasunderworld · 2 years

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Okay. So. There is a difference between house pets, emotional support animals, and service animals. I know because I have an emotional support animal and have done a good bit of research. I can only really speak for those with house pets and emotional support animals though. I also wasn’t sure because I know some people don’t like speaking on/of things they don’t know much about and I do my best to respect that

First. House pets are closer to emotional support animals than service animals. Emotional support animals do not have to have training. Service animals are required to have training and have to be licensed I believe. However, emotional support animals differ from house pets in that they have a note from a health specialist, often times I believe a mental health specialist, cause, well, emotional support. Medical specialists can write notes pertaining the animal’s breed and name saying that the animal is in fact an emotional support animal. If one were to want to, say, rent a place but the place has a no pet policy or a pet fee, then if you show the letter, you don’t have to pay the fee/can bring your emotional support animal to love with you.

However! Emotional support animals and service animals are not the same. Emotional support animals are that, emotional support. Service animals are trained animals to help a person in I believe their day to day life. Emotional support animals are not allowed in places such as hospitals or restaurants, but service animals are. It can get… complicated, sadly. Some folks may want to say their house pet is their emotional support animal and others may say that their emotional support animal is a service animal. They aren’t the same. Spreading misinformation could not only cause the person who has the animal to get into trouble, but their animal could potentially distract actual service animals from doing their duties and putting the service animal’s charge at risk.

Some Karen may try and say her dog is a service animal for emotional support. Said dog is continuously barking and being rowdy. That alone is enough reason to ask the woman to leave the premises with her animal. Those with emotional support animals and service animals are responsible for making sure their animals are behaving. Say the Karen is refusing to leave. Say a person who has a service animal for something such as medication is also in the place the Karen is. The Karen’s dog is distracting the other person’s service animal. The Karen then proceeds to try and compare the two animals. The Karen does not know the reason why the person has a service animal. The Karen just says that they are both animals and that if that person is allowed theirs, then she should be allowed hers.

There’s also another layer in in that in the US, legally, you can only ask, I believe, two questions. “Is the animal a service animal?” and “What is the service animal trained to do?” Well… some people can certainly lie about that. It is not permitted to ask the person to have their animal demonstrate.

There are… a bunch of complications as far as I know with emotional support animals. My knowledge on service animals os more limited sadly. Anyways. They are not the same. Emotional support animals are not service animals. I say that as a person with an emotional support animal.

Now… if you add onto that the, what’s it called, title(?) of a familiar, it gets even more complicated. I suppose it would also have to take things into consideration that we in our nonmagickal world can not really… measure. Things such as intelligence and magickal prowess. Familiar may also be another whole thing depends on how familiars themselves are categorized. Think of it, like, uh… house pet = fun, emotional support animal = mental/emotional support, service animal = physical/medical support(possibly among other things my knowledge of service animals is limited), familiars = magickal support. Does that make sense?

So just… the idea of students trying to bring house pets just… bothers me a whole bunch. My mum(as I still love with her) calls my emotional support animal a service animals and spreads a bunch of misinformation much to my annoyance. Because of my reasoning for my emotional support animal, I can’t really… speak up to correct her, sadly. Bad anxiety. Really bad anxiety. But I will say that I myself will never say that my emotional support animal is a service animal, because she is not. If I were asked to leave, say, a hospital when I said that my dog is an emotional support animal, I would. Because I don’t want to cause unnecessary dangers/risks/problems. So yeah… I have a lot of thoughts on this type of stuff. If you do not feel comfortable answering this, I completely understand! I also just hope tumblr doesn’t just… straight up eat this since it’s so long.

- SpadeHearts Anon (yesh it is I)

About the speaking on what you don't know thing, that is totally fair and I understand. Me personally, If I get an ask on something I don't know enough to speak on with accuracy, I am upfront about it. I'm not in the habit about talking about things I know I don't understand and am always open to correction and people adding on with better information. Especially for stuff like this. Like you said, people spread misinformation, usually because they don't know or understand the distinction, and it's good to point these things out when you can.

I don't know a lot about service vs emotional animals myself either. My understanding of it is very similar in that, Emotional support-mental health, usually referred to by a mental health professional. Service Animal- for actual medical/physical needs. I know service dogs tend to have those vest/harnesses. Idk if that's standard across the board for all of them, but that is what comes to mind when I hear the term service dog. Along with how you must not treat them like a normal dog when you see one out and about. Don't pet it without permission, don't try with it or give it treats, because that is also a distraction. That's about where my knowledge on the subject begins and ends, there's more to it i'm certain, but that is all I'm aware of.

I remember in one of Jenna Marbles videos, I don't remember which one, she mentioned how in LA there's a lot of places that do allow emotional support dogs, so people will go into these stores and cafes with their dogs and claim they are emotional support, and then the dog is misbehaving the whole time while the owner does nothing about it. When I first started talking about familiars and NRC I thought of that, because I am certain that would be a real problem like in your Karen example.

As for the matter itself of Familiars in NRC, it is an interesting question of what would the distinction be the four things. Because we may also have to consider what exactly a familiar, in terms of Twisted Wonderland, does. Because a familiar by it's most textbook definition is a demon that takes the form of an animal to be a witches companion. That doesn't really detail what exactly they do. Because if a Familiars main purpose is companionship, I can see it maybe also counting as an emotional support. Like maybe they keep the mage calm while casting spells, for example. Or if a familiar main thing is to collect herbs for potions, it be trained to do that, in which case I'd that into solely a familiar category. Idk I'm just picturing a big venn diagram of the differences between familiars,emotional,service,and pets and whoever's job it is to vet all those applications and figure all this out probably does not get paid enough to do this every year.

#twisted wonderland #night raven college

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zorollade · 1 year

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i find the idea of "what pokemon partner could you feasibly have currently" to be interesting. like of course in the ideal pokemon world id have ALL my favs. but if i had to select One of my favorite pokemon that i could most likely take care of if it showed up on my doorstep... it's such a difficult question to ask! id love to know what other people's picks would be (my own rambles below)

my immediate answer would probably be Zangoose, since i already have experience with fat grumpy kitties. i live in a place that is far too hot for weavile, sadly, who is part ice. and sneasler is a cat with venomous claws, which is a little too risky for me. unfortunately, without a lunar wing, darkrai would be off the table, even if its definitely the coolest option. latios or latias would probably require a diet of more specific foods and a higher amount than i could afford, given that they're plane dragons large enough for a human to ride. even though it would be sick as fuck. the same could probably said of most other legendaries; the swords, for example, or the bird trios. they're large enough that they probably require an insane diet.

i think Deoxys is also a feasible answer, albeit a more fanciful one. deoxys doesnt really need to eat, as far as we know, even though it's capable of it in the games. and i would love to have a weird spaghetti alien to hang out with. scizor and lurantis would be off the table, because i'm actually deeply terrified of insects and having a gigantic one in my home would be scary i think. even if lurantis isnt actually a bug pokemon, its still a praying mantis. i don't live close enough to water to be able to take care of a kabutops, or things that would be engaging for what seems like a very high-energy predator with swords for arms. i already have a dog, and he doesnt even HAVE swords

gallade might be one of the most symathetic, i think if i were to expect any non-mythical or legendary pokemon to understand the concept of capitalism it would be some of the psychic types. i think i could teach my gallade to understand things such as taxes, but that may inspire him to take a very direct approach to fixing capitalism so that i can buy him more treats. so that's out the window. can't have a ceruledge, either, houses tend to be flammable.

a zoroark would be super cool, and probably really warm and soft to cuddle with given all its fluffy fur, but the idea of a canine larger than i am that can play extreme mind games with me if it decides it's angry with me is also frankly terrifying. i'm not sure how to explain it; the idea of a space alien that can shapeshift trying to kill me is one thing. i bought my ticket the moment i let a deoxys into my home. and zangoose, again, is just like a big grumpy cat, and i know how to deal with those. but a zoroark is just, like, a big weird dog. so the idea of having one of those and it making a magical attempt on my life is more upsetting. also i'm kind of scared of very large canines. so that one's off the table too

raichu would also be so awesome i think. there are definitely risks that come from having a living high-voltage generator in your home, especially considering raichu typically have a bit of a high-strung demeanor, but it's an oversized jerboa. i could probably find ways to play or otherwise engage with it in activities that would help burn off the energy without blowing up my house. and, if a storm takes the power out, i could make sure the fridge and freezer can keep running so we don't have all the food in the house go bad. i think especially having a pikachu, or just an electric type in general, could be useful as a house pet as long as you learn how to train it to not blow the place up.

i think some of the starters like blaziken or meowscarada would be cool, falling under the same sort of umbrella as gallade. they seem intelligent enough to understand roommates and shit. but i'm not equipped to talk about the extensive and blurred line in pokemon between "household pet with magical powers" and "furry roommate with a language barrier" on this post

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injurylawyers-stlouis · 6 months

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nickypoppieandel · 8 months

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Is it Monday??? 🤣

Let’s hope I do a better job tonight…. First, I have to finish telling you about what we did yesterday. I forgot so many things.

Mostly, we were on the bus early and we had a 5 hour tour of Oslo. I have mentioned about the young guide who got the sack because he was “high”. There was a huge U.S. country and western concert (someone called Luke Combs… don’t know him) and I think he had been at that concert. Anyway, I hope he hasn’t lost his job and feels better today!

The sculpture park was truly beautiful. All his sculptures depict family people - or singles that become attached etc - and their journey through life. I have a feeling I didn’t finish telling you how he saved his work from being stolen by the Nazis. I’ll check.

when I say that the city fathers (and mothers???) and governments here appear to have long term vision, we saw that on our next stop when we visited the new Opera House. Built in the old industrial area of Oslo, people said they were MAD … nobody would go there. But whoever said “Build it and they will come” was right. Resembling a large iceberg, it was soon joined by other architecturally innovative buildings and open spaces for people to come and walk and eat (and have saunas!). One of the novelties is you can walk on the roof (a bit like the stretch of grass we can walk up above the Orange Library and Museum!!) and watch the sunset and relax. on our way to the Museum to see the Viking exhibition, we drove all round the city, passed the Palace and other significant buildings. You could spend 2 weeks in Oslo and not see as much as you would want. It would be so good to come back (not likely ….. but one of the one or two people who might read this might!) and explore the city more closely. I LOVE the architecture and Hugh Haynes would have fallen in love with it too. Anyway, we visited the Viking Museum, e hi biting lots of things (jewelry, head pieces, coins, swords etc) that have been found with buried longships. High ranking soldiers who died in battle were often buried with their ships and chattels in buried mounds. , often the same shape as their long boat. Being buried with their sword was important because Nirvana for the. Was to keep fighting. I think their brutality started to die down with the influence of Christianity.

Oh yes!!! Adjacent to the Holmenkollen ski jump is the Holmenkollen wooden chapel. (I might have a photo - not sure). Inaugurated in 1913 it was set in fire I. 1992 and re-inaugurated in 1996. Apparently it is the most popular place in Norway to get married but you have to book ahead 4 or 5 years!! I asked our terrific replacement guide if she knew of a good place to go for dinner last night and. ….. have I already told you?? I can’t see yesterday’s piece until I post this one? Well anyway, we went down to the Barbour and chose a restaurant and had a delicious meal.

This morning we were bussed to the station, hopped on the train for a 4 hour train trip to Myrdal passing ever coloring autumn trees, raging rivers and rapids, pretty white and grey houses (the barns are red) and then hop on the scenic Flam railway to Flam. This is a truly beautiful 50 minute train trip that becomes more and more dramatic and wild and includes the raging Kjosfossen waterfall which supplies the electricity for the Flam train. Lonely Planet reports this as the world’s best train ride. Then we arrived in Flam which is one of the prettiest Villages I have ever been in. The Flam Fjord is protected by UNESCO. Flam was built to house the workers and equipment for building the tunnels and tracks needed for the railway to Bergen. It is clearly now a ski resort village and is SO serene and pretty. Now… for those reading this (hello??? anyone there??🤣🤣🤣) blog who knew my brother Rog and knew he died recently, probably don’t know that just after he died, his daughter Claire was taking the dog for a walk in St Ives and she saw a double (??) rainbow over the house. Claire and her husband Ben are in Scotland and they have taken a bit of him to the Isle of Skye right up the top of a mountain with the best view and lots of people visiting? And sure enough… coming down from the mountain, what should she see but a rainbow coming out of where she had sprinkled him! And today, as we were on our way to Flam on this spectacular little train trip, a rainbow appeared and out came the sun! We also have a bit of him with us and we’ll take him next week to the Northern Lights. He was booked on this trip and I have been - sadly but luckily - able to take his place.

I am constantly reminded of a magical trip Hugh (H) and I had in 2004 to the Pilbara with Rich and then to Katherine and Kakadu with Angus. We felt - as I do now - that we were terribly organised with bag and backpack etc., only to overhear Angus tell a friend how hopeless we were, scrabbling around in the backpack looking for things!! It seems I haven’t improved, but - like that trip - haven’t lost anything yet!!!

By the way, by putting his sculptures out in the park, Vigeland was able to prevent the Nazis stealing his sculptures. I don’t really understsnd how that worked, but apparently, because they became public property, it did work. 👏👏👏👏

Tomorrow we have a ferry ride through fjords, a bus ride somewhere or other and then a train ride to Bergen. A walking tour around Bergen the following morning and on to the MS Kong Harald (look it up!) which is the boat that will take us to Estonia and Finland for excitement and hopefully the Northern Lights.

Good night! Photos will follow.

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2023-records · 1 year

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Day 6 __ Fri Jan 6

Wellp, got out of bed at 10:30am instead of 9am to walk Mai and feed her, but she tends to enjoy staying in bed in the mornings. So I don't feel as bad. Worked out last night from 9:30pm-12am. Surprisingly, there were still a good amount of people at the gym. I noticed that people in San Leandro tend to hit the gym later during after-work hours. SJ and Fremont 24s' peak hours usually start around 4pm, but San Leandro's peak hours are around 5/6pm.

Today I actually cooked all of my carrots, mushrooms, and bokchoy! Chopped some purple onion and a ton of garlic. I sauteed everything separately and then mixed in oyster sauce, pepper, soy sauce, and sesame oil. Some bomb stuff but I may have put too much sesame oil. A couple hours after eating, my stomach was going crazy. If someone stood next to me, they would hear the rumbling start from my mid-stomach to my butt. I basically had the shits again and pooped in my bathroom. Why do I have to have stomach digestive problems right before a tournament?! Hopefully, I'll be fine by tomorrow since we make our drive at 8am. I'm bringing my Tums everywhere I go now.

Mai and I went on a shorter distance walk this morning since she was spooked by the wind. She couldn't seem to shake the fear so I stopped the walk short and we headed back. As soon as we got back, she fell asleep. That might have been a stress-relieving sleep. While she slept, I turned on a wind video on YouTube so that she can slowly get desensitized. Poor baby, but she'll get over it in no time!

I need to pack LOL It's currently 8:15pm. I should probably shower by 10pm and sleep no later than midnight. That'll still give me enough sleep, but I can always sleep on the ride down to Socal. I'm pretty excited to be playing in a tournament out of town, but I feel slightly concerned about the socializing aspect with my team coordinator. I still can't tell if she likes me or not... Or maybe she doesn't know if I like her? I guess I always felt like I didn't want to get to know her since she never really trusted me to be on the starting lineup against good teams. I would play but against weaker teams and it didn't really make me feel good whenever I made points since they felt too easy. This time around, with 7 players on the team, I will get playing time the entire time. This way, I can showcase my all-around skills and prove that I can be a reliable starter.

A huge part of me wants to drink Saturday just because I haven't seen my teammates since September. However, I already know that that would be an irresponsible idea as it would affect my playing the next morning. I shall hold myself to only 2 beers or seltzers early on in the day. I bought magnesium pills from Costco to see if that would help with my frequent cramping during tournaments. I'll also be pairing this with LiquidIV and carbohydrate + potassium-filled snacks. If magnesium is the key to my cramping, I will be so ecstatic since I had been dreading the cramps days before tournaments.

Mikel and I Facetimed again today! Day 2! We've agreed to try to Facetime every day since I had been feeling down on myself lately. Maybe this feeling came from having to watch Shumai misbehave so often during the day, that I need to see something that makes me happy and feel at ease: Mikel. Typing this out now made me realize that when you surround yourself with something negative, your mentality develops that negativity. In this case, it's Shumai's misbehaving that really affects me since I like to see quick changes in action. A few weeks ago I changed my mentality and became more patient with doggo. We were making progress, however, I could feel how every Thursday I resume taking care of Mai (day after Youki watches Shumai), Shumai reverts back to her bad habits. In a way, I've kind of given up trying my hardest to train Mai because in the end, she's not really my dog and I'm just watching over her for Youki. Thinking deeper, I probably won't want to move in with her if she buys a house soon. Hopefully after this next coaching season, she will rethink freeing up her work schedule in order to take care of Shumai more often. Eventually, I will need more time to study.

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trustpr · 2 years

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Master raindrop

We appreciate it all!Īs always big thanks to for the killer artwork and for his contribution to our sound.Įmail us at can find us at on most social media platforms, including Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. If you enjoy what we do please support us by leaving a review and giving our socials a like and follow. In the end, when the Great Golden Dragon is restored again, it destroys Bu's armor, only to show that there is only one small child inside.This week the Dorks dive into the amazing science world of Dr stone, we also look back on the flaming pile of dog shit know as Master RaindropĪnd to top it all off the Weebology professors are back to drop some straight up knowledge on the Dorks. However, he has no idea how Master Yun acts, so Raindrop soon discovers Bu's plan. He tries to hit them, but Flamo reflects his shot and destroys Bu's flying fortress. Any information you publish in a comment, profile, work, or Content that you post or import onto AO3 including in summaries, notes and tags, will be accessible. AKC show champions (over 50 to date) and group placers, master hunters. There the Elements go through the Dragon's Gate, the portal into the Golden Dragon's consciousness, to raise the Dragon. Luxury Large Foyer Chandelier, Modern Crystal Raindrop Chandeliers Flush. Feeling upset by such a perverse betrayal of his leader, Flamo turns his back on General Bu and definitely joins the elements.įurious, Bu does not give up and wants to destroy them all at once and forever. Drawn by the mysterious pull of the Golden Dragon, the five Elements and Master Yun find themselves back at the Academy, which Shao Yen and Raindrop left at the start of their quest. However, he discovers that General Bu wants to destroy all elements, including his own Flamo. Flamo pretends to be betrayed by Bu and after the elements help him, he steals the Eye. In the end, General Bu sends Flamo to steal the dragon's eye from the elements. They know about the Great Golden Dragon,but cannot restore the Great Golden Dragon without the last element that is precisely the Flame. Meanwhile, Raindrop and Shao Yen are joined by the rest of the elements: Jin Hou (metal) and Niwa (earth). In this game you have to give it your best to get what you wanted, so in this game. General Bu makes many attempts to capture the elements, but he always fails. Master Raindrop is a very exciting game that will give you big headaches and will test your patience, much like the photos that you have to analyze how well you and you realize that there are differences between them, so that mark them and get points for each. Are you looking for shows like Master Raindrop We have curated a list for you, a list of shows by the likes of Steve Cooper, Jane Ubrien and Rachel King. After failing to search for the two elements, Bu kidnaps Master Yun and orders Flamo to burn the school. Luckily, Master Yun can hide his apprentices in front of Bu. Master Raindrop follows the journey of martial arts novice Raindrop and his friend Shao Yen on their quest to save their Master Yun - and ultimately their entire peaceful land - from the evil General Bu and his army of terracotta warriors. He then runs to martial arts school, where Master Yun trains two other elements, Raindrop (water) and Shao Yen (wood). The first element he encounters is Flamo,the element of fire, and so Bu convinces him to join his army. Drawn by the mysterious pull of the Golden Dragon, the five Elements and Master Yun find themselves back at the Academy, which Shao Yen and Raindrop left at the start of their quest. All - Purpose ' Rip Master Rainmaker ' Warren Axe & Tool Co. With Joshua Anderson, Sarah Aubrey, David Francis, Rachel King. Bu doesn't want that to happen, so he starts looking for them. Rain Drop, ' otary ' SQUARES, Try and Mitre rican Foundry & Mfg. 12 years later, General Bu discovers that five elements are still alive and that they can restore the Great Golden Dragon.

#Master raindrop

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vinod321 · 4 years

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Doggie brain training

Dog Training & Boarding Sydney, Central Coast & Newcastle

K9 Training specialises in dog training and dog boarding in the Sydney, Central Coast and Newcastle areas. This is a unique service where your beloved dog is trained with expert trainers at our family property, 5 mins from the beach, dog parks and free-roaming areas. We are 35 minutes from Sydney and Newcastle. By training in a family environment results are able to achieve with ease, and the integration back to your family is a smooth transition.

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Results are guaranteed, if a new problem arises or a problems re-occurs K9 Training will provide free follow up lessons for 12 months and telephone support for the rest of the dogs life. It is in K9 Training interest to get the dog training completed correctly the first time. If you and your dog are coming back for free lessons, it is costing us money when we can be training other clients dogs. We encourage you to ask questions before, during and after dog training. We are here to help you and your dog

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#dog training #Dog potty training #Dog brains training #Dog training at hou #za #Zakgeorge

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superpaperclip · 3 years

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God I love having my brother here

#I have someone to talk with and commiserate with abt living in this hous #and about being queer #but also we’re both sensitive to noise #so when we were dragged to a group dog training session and the dogs started yapping #we took off in the car and dicked around in a nearby coffee shop the whole time #it was great #meg talks

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oops-ibrokereality · 4 years

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My puppy just fuking walked into my room, jumped on the bed to see if I was awake, and then pissed on my washing basket before leaving????

He wanted to make a statement

#He has been 90% hous trained #Other than in moments like this where there is no reason why he does it #My older dog (who sleeps next to my bed) just watched it happen #Before looking at me for help #Even he's done with the pups shit #I dont even know what to do in this situation other than just clean it up ??

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apaleflame · 3 years

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Some LGBT SFF

Burning Roses, by S. L Huang, is a fantasy novella that re-imagines of the red riding hood fairy tale and the legend of hou yi the archer. the two middle-aged women join forces on a quest to rid the countryside of deadly firebirds, and along the way are forced to reconcile with their mistakes and sacrifices from their pasts. this novella scratched a particular itch i have for mature and complicated relationships. both main characters are/were in w/w relationships

Witchmark, by C. L. Polk, is a wwi-inspired fantasy following dr. miles singer, a mage (in a society that publicly shuns the use of magic) who joins aeland’s military to escape a family that would keep his magical gifts shackled for their own ends. having survived the war and taken up a position at a cash-strapped veterans hospital, he becomes embroiled in a mystery that risks to expose his true nature to his colleagues and his family. helping him unravel the mystery is the most beautiful man he’s ever met. miles is a gay man.

The Priory of The Orange Tree, by Samantha Shannon, is a stand alone fantasy epic that spans a well developed, diverse world as it stand on the cusp of crisis. as an ancient evil rises from it’s millennia long slumber, the lady-in-waiting ead has been tasked with keeping the ruling queen of inys, sabran the ninth, safe from the assassins dogging her steps using forbidden magic. sabran berethnet is the heir to a queendom that’s stood a thousand years, and pressure is rising for her to produce a daughter to protect the realm from ruin. across the ocean, the the dragonrider-in-training tan must make a choice and keep a secret that would cause her entire world to come crumbling down. this is a long book following multiple pov characters, two of whom are hashtag confirmed on page to be gay, while the world itself has neither sexism nor homophobia.

Amberlough, by Lara Elena Donnelly, against the backdrop of a 1930s-esque city on the brink of a fascist take-over, we follow the secret agent cyril depaul, the smuggler/performer aristide makricosta, and burlesque dancer cordelia lehane. the three of them become entangled in each others lives as they struggle to survive the rising political tension in the city of amberlough, using any means necessary to survive-- including each other. scratches my particular itch for flawed and complicated relationships. cyril and aristide are lovers, other queer elements are present as well.

The Seep, by Chana Porter, is a speculative novella about the gentleest alien invasion. the life of 51 year old trans woman trina goldberg-oneka is irreversibly changed in the wake of the quite invasion of the alien entity called the seep. through the seep all lifeforms are connected, capitalism falls, hierarchy crumble, and anything you dream of can become possible. she and her wife deeba live happily under the seeps utopian influence, until deeba begins to imagine what it might be like to be reborn as a baby which might give her the chance at a better life-- using the seep to make this dream a reality, she leaves moves on to her new life leaving trina devistated. following trina’s journey we explore grief, alienation, and the pain of moving on. not gonna lie this one is a bit weird, which i love, but might not be for everyone. that being said i love this take on a soft alien invasion and what the implications of something like the seep might have on humanity and the earth as a whole.

#im the op #i have some more but i ran out of enegery writing discriptions i can make a simple list of some more lgbt books if anyone wants

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guileheroine · 3 years

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a sky full of song, chapter one

Korra, princess of the Water Kingdoms, receives a gift from her blacksmith friend on the auspicious winter festival / Korrasami royalty AU / ao3 / My piece for the @korrasami-valentine-exchange (assignment: Date A) (reposting with cover!)

“The wedding of the Earth Prince, yes, on the solstice. But it’s an opportune moment for a longer tour, we don’t want to waste the journey. I’m afraid your father can’t afford it, and before you ask, I’ve been conferring with your mother’s office. And frankly, I’m loath to request it of her after…

Councillor Panak trailed off as Korra hurried him along with a gesture of the hand. He pushed his eyeglass up his nose and took her eye seriously. “To the point, then—what do you say?”

Korra was tapping her foot under the meeting table. Prince Wu, if she recalled, was equally as intolerable as old Hou-Ting, the spirits bless his poor betrothed. But the prospect of a fortnight around the Earth Kingdom, with its delicious fare and diverse landscapes… that made her much more amenable to the whole idea.

“Around the solstice, huh? Alright. Why not.” It was a way off. She had time to arrange her retinue and her schedule as efficiently as possible for maximum enjoyment.

“…That means a tour to the Earth Empire in the spring—or summer, if Her Royal Highness prefers it?”

“Oh, spring,” Korra said in a rush. “Spring. I’m not sure I can do Earthen summers.”

Panak smiled quite kindly at that, and nodded at his scribe to jot it down. Korra returned his smile. They really were getting along better. It was nice. This meeting was also stretching much farther into the evening than she had understood it would.

The Lotus Guard at the doorway didn’t so much as blink as she pushed the heavy door open and went out. He was one of the older men, having been here long before the war, and quite accustomed to her ways.

Once Korra was out in the foyer, she raced. Her quarters, and her next appointment, were in the other wing of the palace, but she had promised to go see her mother first for a few minutes before the Queen went to bed. The winter sun was long gone; all the windows she skipped past were dark, torchlight gleaming on the icy sills. In the halls, on the other hand, the air was bright as frost, festive. She wove around decorators from all over Agna Qel’a hanging new crystalwork along the old bead tapestries and tying berry wreaths around the tall pillars. Down the stairs, in the main hall, the humongous fires that burnt uninterrupted over the winter lit the place generously. As she sped through, headed for the opposite staircase, Korra caught the eye of one of the housekeepers.

“Mina! Mina, are you busy?” She took the girl’s arm, whose eyes goggled, alarmed only at the princess’s sudden appearance but unperturbed by her familiar ways. “Could you go to the kitchen and send for some tea to my apartment? Milk and honey for me—and some of whatever black blend is left, what my blacksmith friend likes. They’ll know. Thank you!”

When she turned to continue, she was immediately waylaid by one of the ice sculptors.

“Your Highness! A moment.”

Just a moment to breathe was exactly what it took for Korra to finally notice the centerpiece of the hall: an elaborate sculpture-fountain of Yue. The moon and ocean spirits hovered above each of her hands, water pouring in gentle arcs out of their gaping mouths.

Korra’s father was pulling out all the stops for Yue’s Day. She knew, for her part, that it was a private gesture for the Queen, newly returned from a long diplomatic engagement with the northern Air court. Korra stood at attention for the sculptor, whose fingerless gloves allowed him to bend with especial precision.

“Should her hair run—” he said, bending Yue’s locks of ice into free-flowing rivulets, “or stand arrested?” Another curl of his palm froze them again.

“Freeze them. More volume!” Korra said, thinking of her mother, who always grumbled about her limp hair. Then she was on her way to the Queen’s chambers, and then her own.

“I got your tea. Hi, princess.”

Korra’s blacksmith friend took a pointed sip when she finally entered her drawing room. Asami’s smirk was hidden behind the glassy cup, and her hair was wet. One of Korra’s towels was slung over the back of her seat—one of the nice ones with the finely embroidered monogram.

“Asami. Sorry I’m late!” Korra slumped onto her divan, sending one of the cushions flying onto the carpet. “It’s good to see you.” She took a moment to catch her breath before picking the cushion up, sitting comfortably and grasping for the tray on the table.

“Don’t worry about it,” Asami said, moving the cup from her mouth, the smirk finally melting off. She pushed the tray into Korra’s reach. “I’m done for the day. A couple of the apprentices are closing up shop for the very first time.” Her brows waggled.

“Impressive! But still, thanks for coming. I know you’re working hard.”

“We had an appointment, right? And—” Asami grinned and stretched, pulling her warm wools tighter around her “nothing like the thought of a royal shower at the end of the day to get you through it, you know?”

Korra rolled her eyes. The staff knew to let Asami into Korra’s apartments, and even if she could tell they were a little reticent about her using the princess’s bath and vanity, they of course said nothing. The dogs more or less dragged Asami in through the gates every time she came by the palace, and by order of the princess, they were the ones that decided things in her absence.

Asami scrutinised the tray from the kitchen carefully before picking out a little moon pastry. “How was your meeting?” She took a bite, attentive both to the pastry and Korra.

“Looks like I’m going on tour to the Earth Kingdom in the spring,” Korra told her. She wasn’t surprised to see Asami’s brow spring up, and her taste-testing pause.

“What, all over?”

It was a town in the Earth Kingdom that Asami originally hailed from, before she travelled to the Fire Empire with her father, an innovator in the art of war. After the war’s end and the subsequent reunification of the Water Kingdoms, the newly humbled Sun Emperor had gifted King Tonraq an ancient forge for the royal armoury as a token of good faith and cultural exchange. Korra remembered how it had taken several pulleys, and days, for it to be transported into place in one of the main avenues in the city. They had set up a house around it for a new smith to eventually train locals in the foreign art. Asami—skilled as a metalworker, but bereft of a livelihood and a family after her father’s foundries were shut down—had decided to venture north to start afresh. She vied for the position and won it handily.

Korra glanced at her long. “You could come with me, you know. Take a vacation, if you manage to get this new shop set up in time. I’m sure you’ve trained all your underlings well.”

“We’re getting there,” Asami said vaguely. “But I’ll keep it in mind.”

Korra was musing, recumbent with her feet up now. “I must warn you, t’s for the wedding of the Queen’s nephew. They’re a lot stuffier in the Earth kingdom. All the pomp and pageantry,” she clarified. “I’m not looking forward to that part.”

“I’ll bet.” Asami gave her a sympathetic smile.

Sitting pretty in formal assemblies, she did not enjoy. Peace was harder than war, in a lot of ways. At least it was for Korra, who had been right at home as a strategist commanding the bending battalions in the few Fire Empire skirmishes that had reached the north. Or as a captain fending off the marauding warlords and shaman-kings in the southern fiefs who took advantage of the chaos to arouse the spirits and stage deadly rebellions. Her leadership, covert though it was, had played no small part in subduing the northern theater and paving the way for all the ancient Water tribes to be reunified under Agna Qel’a and her father’s leadership. The lasting peace of the years since had proven they were stronger together. Just as it had proven that the Princess’s patience for peacetime bureaucracy needed a good deal of practice.

“You should come. We’ll do you up as my retainer so you get a salary. I might need you to keep me straight.”

Asami was good at that, blowing off steam after long, boring days. The mellowness of the warmth, nothing like that of her forge, evened Korra’s mood like little else.

“Oh, so you want me to drop everything and trail you around as a handmaiden?”

Korra scoffed, embarrassed. “Well, don’t put it like that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Asami sat up. “An Earth royal wedding, huh? Think they’ll let me in?” She picked at the cushion in her lap.

“They will if I have anything to say about it.” Korra yawned. “It’ll be my turn soon enough.”

“How’s your mother?” Asami said, following her train of thought seamlessly—it was always the queen that pestered Korra about finding a match, good-natured but more earnest than she ever realised she was appearing.

“Sleeping. She had a long journey back from the Northern Air Temple. Dad’s happy, though. Just casually planning her a ball this weekend for Yue’s Day.”

“Hey, is that what that business down in the hall is?” Some forgotten curiosity clearly jolted Asami. “There were all these new kayaks moored around the drawbridges when I came through, too.”

Korra nodded, while tentative recognition continued to filter into Asami’s expression. It was easy to forget Asami had been here nary a year. But she had, and it had been a busy year too, with little time for exploration, per her own frequent complaints. “You know about it, right?” When Asami shrugged evasively, Korra explained, “It falls on the day of the first full moon after the winter solstice. Yue was a princess of legend—our ancestor, apparently—who became the moon spirit.”

Asami sat forward. She loved tales like this, and listened to them like she was being entrusted a secret.

“We’ve celebrated it as long as anyone remembers, but the festival is supposed to usher good fortune and fertility. I think that’s why it became a couples thing.” Korra didn’t think much of that. “But, well, the idea is to spend the evening under the full moon, which is why all the kayaks are out. Really, everyone just needs an excuse to liven up the winter!”

“That I understand,” Asami said wryly, ill accustomed to the polar night. “Yeah, I went to the market in town to pick up some new gloves and they had stalls and stalls of new fare. Jewelry, wind chimes, furs.”

Korra sat up, conspiratorial. “I bet at least one of your new proteges will sneak you a little gift. I get messages every year. Mostly upstarts, but some cute ones, too.”

When Asami had first been appointed as the blacksmith, Korra was uncertain what a girl her age was doing heading up an official royal undertaking like that, with all its bells and whistles. When she arrived at a welcome dinner with her family, Korra found her altogether too precious, and definitely not deserving of the private summons and the White Lotus escort. Especially not when the whole rigmarole was keeping Korra from her planned retreat to the kennels for the evening, where, in the end, the strapping night guards were giggling and blushing about the new blacksmith.

At her father’s behest, Korra had put on her most functional anorak and taken Asami some cakes, conserves and newly dried jerky from the palace a couple weeks after their meeting. He insisted it was a part of the Princess’s duty to look after someone in their employ so new to the land—a girl her own age no less. Down in the city, the townsfolk were pleased to see Korra as she made her way to the workshop, but no one made a fuss (unless they were young and excitable already), unlike what she had heard of the other Kingdoms, larger and loftier as they were. She wondered if Asami the Blacksmith liked that about here, or found it lacked decorum, as Korra knew some folk abroad definitely did.

Asami had a study above the forge, from which she dealt with its administration, and living quarters on the next storey. These were yet lonely and sparse, but not completely devoid of homely touches, as though she would have spruced them up if she only had the opportunity. Korra noticed well-kept shrubs and a vivid landscape on the wall; then Asami came and curtseyed deep and pulled off her apron.

She was willowy and beautiful under the gear and the soot (over it, too, to be honest), which endeared and repelled Korra in fairly equal measure, ultimately leaving her as indifferent as ever.

“My parents and Lord Arnook want to know how you’re getting on.” Lord Arnook was the esteemed keeper of the royal armoury, and he liked Asami just as much as everyone else did.

A flicker of sadness—shame?—crossed her face, then she put her hand on the table. “Won’t you sit? Your Highness. Let me bring you something hot first.”

Asami lit the fire in the blink of an eye and stoked it without watching, like it was the back of her hand. She had some bread in the pantry, over which she spread the aqpik jam Korra had delivered her. Korra watched her as she boiled the water. Her skirt was heavy, probably to insulate from the heat and cold alike, but it fell flatteringly from her height; and her long hair, which had flown in waves in a foreign style at dinner, was pinned into a practical bun. She made a sharp, fragrant tea she had brought from the continent. Her eyes lit up unexpectedly when Korra bent her own cup to cool it.

“Ah, I love seeing that,” she cooed. “I suppose I’m still not used to it. The other elements don’t bend like that. And I hear you have great skill.”

Korra’s own smile came too quick for her to suppress. “Who told you that, the King?” Then she regarded her keenly. So, how are you… Do you need anything? Do the men from the quarry treat you okay?”

“Oh, everyone here is… They’re very warm. Makes up for the chill,” Asami laughed.

It was a line so hackneyed that gritting through it was itself a country-wide inside joke. But this calm and rosy girl injected fresh, charmless charm into it. Maybe everything was charming if someone this winsome did it. After that, Korra softened considerably.

“They are,” she replied, with no small amount of pride. A sudden shame crept up her chest, that she probably couldn’t count herself among those nice people that had made Asami feel welcome.

Then Asami swallowed and the colour of her voice changed. “I miss my home, though. I know this job is more kindness than I deserve, after what we did but… It is a little lonely here.” She confirmed what Korra had already deduced, mostly because she knew the feeling all too well. “I guess I just don’t have a lot of time to go and make friends after work.”

Korra didn’t doubt that; it was hard, physical work. The one or two times she’d witnessed it, the clang rang in her ears for hours afterwards. She wouldn’t have pegged a girl like this for it. Asami reminded her more of some of the young ladies she knew from her old classes, when all the children around the court would be dumped into the royal healing hut together for some hands-on learning.

“Have you been beyond the city yet? The land out there… that’s our land. This is just a fortress.”

“Oh, I’ve been wanting to,” Asami said, wistful. “Pretty sure I can’t go on foot though.”

“Well, if… if you don’t know anyone else, I could take you. I have the best dogs in the Four Kingdoms.”

Before the month was up, Korra had sent a commission to the Queen’s personal seamstress for some sealskin gloves and winter-grade furs. She gifted them to Asami on her birthday. “You need these anyway, I think, but you’ll definitely need them where we’re going.” And that night, Korra took her to see the aurora.

There was a hamlet a few miles north of Agna Qel’a where Korra knew the elderly chief and had asked her for passage to an outcrop in their territory, after divining the well kept secret that it was one of the prime spots for watching the sky dance. Asami, enchanted, never took her eyes off it—so unflinching that Korra almost began to feel envious of the lights.

It became a routine. Korra knew every inch of her realm. If a diplomatic mission sent her to one tribe or settlement, she would be sure to take a day or two exploring the local country before she returned to the capitol. It had been a great boon when the southern tribes first came under their stewardship. The Princess spent time in every village, took interest in their land and in their lore; met challenges of the wilds and the weather with hunger, and any unknowns thereof with abiding curiosity. She knew what to wear, which sled or boat to take. When to find the rarest whale pods before they went south; where the starriest cliffs were, and the sunniest lakes.

All of which impressed Asami a great deal, and that made Korra happier than most things. And no worse were the days they spent in her apartments going over the sordid palace gossip, or in her apartments tracing old scars by lamplight, healing them word by gentle word.

On Yue’s Day, Korra stopped by to see various palace aides located around the city with customary gifts. In a castle town, there were plenty with such connections, and she relished the ruddy smiles, quick drinks, and flustered curtsies she received in turn. She saved Asami for last, because Asami had asked for some time together. Korra entered the smithy by the front, her senses clogging with immediate heat. Two of the apprentices were there: one of them gaped while the other barely blinked.

“Asami? I come bearing punch… and those moon pastries you like!”

She commenced the usual ritual of announcing her presence over the steam and noise while peeling off all but a couple of her layers, when Asami emerged out of the back. She was squeezing her hands together in excitement.

“No, no, no, don’t,” she urged, a gleam in her eyes like the blades that hung behind her, “we’re going somewhere.”

A few minutes later, they were walking along the main canal under the sparkling lights, milling through the townspeople. A fresh drift crunched beneath their boots. In a few more, they were alighting one of the kayaks in the dock.

Asami faced her and paddled like a natural; and naturally, Korra gaped.

“Do not tell me you haven’t done this before!”

Asami’s tongue stuck out in concentration as she suppressed a giggle, but her limbs moved with finesse. “Just the once. So far. Don’t be distracting me.”

“I won’t let us capsize,” Korra assured her.

Eventually, Asami settled into her rhythm, and the canal carried them out of the city, past all the lights. The banks of glass-cut brick gave way to a more jagged channel littered with pack ice at its mouth, floating blue and still. Korra gripped the edge of the kayak, not for any physical comfort. A crackling anticipation, and an unnameable fondness both, were welling and welling in her with every mundane word they shared.

When they disembarked on the lake’s other edge, the ice was landfast: a ghostly field glowing under the full moon.

Korra knew this place, but she had scarcely been here in the middle of winter, when the ice field extended endlessly, as vast as the sky. As they tramped across the snow, she began to wonder what Asami’s surprise was. There wasn’t much for a mile in any direction.

“We should sit for this,” Asami said, pointedly ignoring Korra’s prying questions.

The wind had kicked the snow up into berms along the field. Korra froze one so it was sturdy enough to perch on. Then Asami took her pack, and pulled out some plain tubes of parchment; nothing Korra would have looked at twice, although she didn’t know what they were.

“What’s in there?” She said.

“Some of my metals, some of my salts,” Asami replied enigmatically, almost sing-song. “Wait here.”

She heaved herself off the berm, ran several yards towards the horizon and stooped. She planted the tubes, and did something else Korra couldn’t see, though she thought she recognised the bright filigree on the cover of the pocket matchbook Asami carried everywhere.

When Asami had trundled back and sat again, Korra crossed her arms and laughed, bemused, her humour ebbing. “Are you going to tell me what’s going—”

BOOM!

Korra gasped, startled out of her words. She would have fallen from the perch if Asami didn’t catch her around the waist, giggling blithely all the while—

A wheel of light bloomed in the sky like a flower, dazzling and surreal. All the colours of the aurora—except they were peals of crystal fire, pouring out like diamonds before disappearing into the smoky air. Another wheeled up after it with a strange whirr, before it exploded into a glittering shower, and more in succession.

They reminded Korra of the spirit hales in the heart of the wilds, and even deeper in a buried memory, of the Fire explosives some of the raiders had once set off on the Southern Sea. Except these were brighter—and safer, because Asami had made them.

Korra looked to her when they had died, beaming under the mitten that covered her mouth in shock. “Are there more?”

To her eternal delight, there were more. New flowers sprouting on the celestial vault, they would be burned in her memory forever.

“They’re no aurora,” Asami said, while Korra scoffed and slung her arms around her, huddling for the cold and the buzz. Under her embrace, and half her weight, Asami looked chuffed. “But I thought they might liven up your night.”

Korra cupped her earmuff, then her cheek. “Thank you. This is the best day I’ve had all winter.”

Asami’s pyrotechnical skills didn’t even surprise her, but that could hardly diminish the sheer majesty, and novelty, of the display. Even minutes later, Korra could hardly believe what she had seen.

“Well, I couldn’t let you be the only show-off around here.” Asami smiled. Then the smile dropped from her eyes and she hesitated, like she couldn’t let that sit for an explanation. “Korra. I wanted to do something special. You’ve made me feel at home here in a way I never imagined. And I’m just a smith, from the Fire Empire!”

Korra felt her eyes water and blinked the tears back quickly, because they would ice and sting in the bitter air. She bit the smile off her lips. “You’re not just anything. You’re a terrific handmaiden.”

She snorted as Asami shoved her off and reached for her pack again.

“One more thing. I thought it might be too smokey for this after all those incendiaries, but it’s worth a shot anyway.”

This time Korra recognised the device she emerged with. It was made of two cylinders, and the mechanism that held them together spun smoothly like the spokes of a wheel. She handed it to Korra, who held the spyglass up.

A field of stars materialised. Korra held her breath.

The stars were luminous at the poles, but she had never seen them like this, and for the first time they felt close enough to touch, invoking a bracing, irrepressible wonder. In silence, she gazed.

“The moon spirit leads all the stars out tonight, right?”

Asami had done her research. Korra turned back to her. “So they say.” She hooked her arm through Asami’s, and held her hand. With the spyglass still to her eye, she let her head fall against Asami’s bundled shoulder.

“Tired, princess?”

Korra rustled her breath, long-suffering. “Why do you call me that!”

The way Asami said it—like it was something of her own decree, and not that of ten thousand years of tradition and some profoundly sacred doctrines. There was a sweet and strange tug in Korra’s belly whenever it happened, and this time, tonight, it lingered longer than ever.

“‘Cause you’re a piece of work,” Asami said, trying to interlace their thick, mittened fingers, which required some effort.

Tentatively, Korra turned the spyglass to the moon herself. She winced— it glared straight back, too bright. Maybe another night, when it wasn’t Yue’s Day.

Yue’s Day. She now held the thought delicately in her chest, as if she wanted to guard it from the wind and chill. If Asami loved her—were to love her—there were several reasons not to say it. They both knew them, whether they had turned them over consciously or not.

But the risk of showing was low. And the reward, as her own euphoric mood tonight proved, was magnificent.

#i made a cover for the 2nd chapter and decided to do one forall of them #will post new chap tomoro #korrasami #korrasami fanfiction #legend of korra #**#asfos

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emachinescat · 3 years

Text

That I Could Fear a Door

A Tales of Arcadia: Trollhunters Fan-Fiction

By @emachinescat

Summary: Jim had thought that going back home, back to the real world, would be an easy and painless process. He thought it would be simple - it should have been simple. It wasn’t. A reimagining of Jim’s return from the Darklands, where he quickly finds that adjusting to real life after so much trauma isn’t as easy as one might think.

Words: 5,639

TW: PTSD, depression, panic attacks

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

Years I had been from home,

And now, before the door

I dared not open, lest a face

I never saw before …

I laughed a wooden laugh

That I could fear a door,

Who danger and the dead had faced,

But never quaked before.

- From "Home" by Emily Dickinson

Jim had thought that going back home, back to the real world, would be an easy and painless process. After all, during his weeks in the Darklands, first alone and searching the endless shadows, then hunted like an animal, then captured and beaten and forced to fight for the sport of others, hadn't he dreamed endlessly of just that? Of seeing the sun again, of seeing his friends, of hugging his mom, of cooking and eating and training and playing video games and slacking off on homework? He thought it would be simple - it should have been simple.

It wasn't.

The first few moments after crashing back into the over world were indeed euphoric. There was the sun, filtering in through the branches of the trees. It took all of his self-control not to stare straight into it. Even in the evening breeze, there was a warmth in the air that he hadn't felt in so long that it seemed more like a memory. He lay there, flat on his back in the grass, wishing he could feel the soft tickle of the blades on his skin, but trapped in his Eclipse armor. Still, he was free.

Much of the next hour was a blur. He later would recall a few hazy moments - hugging his friends, receiving the amulet from Blinky and finally - finally - shedding the stifling second skin of the Eclipse armor, trying to convince Nomura to stick around, Claire semi-joking about how bad he smelled, and the word free chasing itself around in his head like a dog after its own tail. Free, free, free!

He would always remember in perfect clarity the moment he hugged his mother again, but that hadn't come until later the next week. He wanted more than anything to go to her immediately upon his escape, but Toby and Claire convinced him otherwise.

"What's she going to think if you come home looking like … well, looking like… that?" Toby demanded, gesturing unhelpfully to Jim as a whole.

"And the smell…" Claire added, also unhelpfully.

"You have been through a great ordeal, Master Jim," Blinky reminded him gently. "If you go home now, there will be questions you cannot answer and not the rest you need."

And so Jim reluctantly agreed to go home in Toby's stead with Aaarrrgghh while Toby covered for him at home once more.

It was surreal, Jim found himself thinking as he stood in the Domzalski household's upstairs bathroom, shower already running hot behind him and Aaarrrgghh just across the hall, waiting for him in Toby's room. Just this morning, he had woken up in a cage on cold stone, in a state of perpetual, gnawing hunger that had become the norm, hanging on to the tiniest thread of hope that today might be the day he was finally rescued - but knowing deep down that it was much more likely to be the day he finally died. Now, he had a full stomach for the first time in nearly a month. He was with his friends, safe, electric lights warding off the darkness that had been his hell for so long. Hot water waited for him, beckoned for him. He could be warm and clean again. Just a few days ago he had said something about how much he missed soap. He should have been happy, he thought miserably. Maybe happy wasn't the right word. He was very happy to be away from the Darklands, from Gunmar and Dictatious and goblins and monsters. But he wasn't content.

He also couldn't bring himself to undress. He had been standing in front of the mirror for a good five minutes now, as steam billowed out from behind the curtain and fogged the glass, obscuring the face he'd barely recognized anyway. Good riddance, he thought half-madly, for the boy in the mirror was a warped doppelganger, touched by death and despair, with his sunken eyes, wan skin stretched too tight over abnormally prominent cheekbones, dark, puffy bags under his eyes, and a smattering of bruises and cuts pulling the whole package together with a sickly little bow. His hair was a bit longer than he usually kept it, matted and caked with dirt and blood. It felt crusty to the touch, and brittle somehow, as if it would crumble to dust if he tried to brush it.

He looked bad enough as it was from the neck up. He had no desire to see what awaited him beneath his filthy clothes. He wondered blearily how they had gotten so disgusting when they had been underneath his armor the whole time. Sweat and revoked shower privileges would do that to a person, he finally reasoned, and at once he found he couldn't get in the shower quickly enough.

He stripped off the offending garments with an urgency he hadn't felt even at his most desperate moments in the Darklands, nearly tripping over the edge of the tub in his haste to get in. He was relieved that the mirror had fogged, but he still avoided making eye contact with it just in case.

The water burned his skin, but he turned it hotter, attacking his hair first with nearly half a bottle of shampoo, applying and rinsing, applying and rinsing, until he couldn't see from the suds cascading down his face and the murky water ran clear. He conditioned once, something he'd never done before. He didn't know if it did anything, but it made him feel cleaner.

And then he was scrubbing himself all over, the water reddening the skin on his arms (he studiously avoided looking anywhere else), again and again, as if trying to peel his very skin off. Dirt and sweat and blood poured off of his battered body and he watched it meander toward the drain in a detached sort of way before resuming his frantic washing.

It wasn't until his skin was so raw that he felt like he was an onion peeled of its top few layers that he stopped, breathing heavily, exhaustion threatening to overwhelm him, nausea roiling as he regretted the deli sandwich he'd scarfed down earlier. Knees weak, he found himself sinking to the floor of the tub, knees drawn up awkwardly to his chest. The water pounded on his head, back, shoulders, and he let it, slipping into a kind of sleep-trance, watching the water swirl around his feet before making its relentless way to the drain. He thought of nothing, felt nothing, and only broke out of the haze when the water grew cold and panic lanced through him at the loss of warmth. He turned off the water, more tired than he could ever remember being in his life, somehow managed to stand up on wobbly legs, wearily slid back the shower curtain - and froze.

Since he'd been in the shower so long that the water had gone cold, the mirror had also de-fogged, and he found himself unwillingly confronted with the specter that he had been hoping to avoid - his reflection.

Before he'd been captured, he'd scavenged for food and found himself eating something mostly every day, so he'd been nourished but always hungry. After he'd been taken, however, any meals - and he used that word lightly - were few and far between. They'd fed him just enough to keep him alive. He could see now from his emaciated frame that they had still essentially starved him. He'd been Gunmar's prisoner for what felt like years, but it had to have been a week at most.

Still, close to a month without a reliable food source had done its work: He'd always been skinny, but now he could see, fully defined, every rib. Any muscle mass, lean though it might have been, that he'd gained during his training was gone, his arms weak and frail looking. His armor had protected him from extensive physical damage all the times that he had been beaten or tossed around like a soccer ball, but his whole torso was mottled with bruises of all colors, shapes, and sizes, all in different stages of healing. A good deal of them were centered over his ribs, and he winced as the pain that had been his constant companion flared up. He wondered vaguely if he needed to see a doctor. He wouldn't be surprised if Gunmar had cracked a few in one of his rages. He cast the thought aside - how would he explain the state he was in? - and turned abruptly from the horrible, somehow shameful image of his battered body and quickly dressed in the pair of pajamas Toby had let him borrow. They would have swallowed him whole on a normal day, but now they made him feel tiny and breakable and pathetic and weak, and he only kept them on because he hated the way he looked underneath even more.

He offered a simple "G'night," to Aaarrgghh before falling into Toby's bed, expecting to fall asleep the instant his head hit the pillow.

To his surprise, and to his irritation, sleep refused to come. He couldn't get comfortable. The bed was too soft, the blankets too warm, and the moonlight making its way in between the cracks in the curtains toyed with him, tickling his eyelids with the suggestion of light and making it impossible to fall asleep. There were none of the noises he'd come to grow accustomed to, either - no faint buzzing of the magically reinforced bars holding him in, no tromping footsteps of the guards, no click-clacking of goblin claws or snorts or whistled operas or snarls or distant, echoing screams…

In the end, Jim tossed and turned, sick with fatigue and enraged at how cruelly sleep evaded him. He finally, mercifully fell into a restless, nightmare-filled slumber around five in the morning, but even the worst of the dreams didn't wake him, exhausted as he was, and he was trapped back in the Darklands, suffering torture after torture at Gunmar's hands, until he woke again eighteen hours later, on a cot in Troll Market.

He had been moved there at dusk the next day when his coma-like slumber pressed on and his friends, who had not realized the extent of his injuries or exhaustion, grew worried. Vendel had examined him while he slept, expertly bound ribs that had indeed been cracked, and performed all the healing rituals and magic he knew to be safe for a human. Even so, he'd warned Jim, who felt numb and wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, it would be a week before he could even begin to regain his strength and pass as his old self, and longer for him to truly be back to the same physical shape he had been in before he'd gone to the Darklands.

And so Jim stayed in Troll Market, under Vendel's care, for another eight days, while Toby got to put on a magical mask and pretend to be him and have his life and hug his mom. Jim tried not to be bitter about it, but it was hard. Blinky and Aaarrrgghh spent all their spare time with him, and Claire and Toby came to Troll Market after school every day and kept him company until they were expected home. Jim talked to them, laughed hollowly, took the homework they gave him, and then retreated within himself as soon as they had disappeared out of sight.

It will be better soon, he kept telling himself desperately. I just need to get out of Troll Market, go back home, get back to my normal life. Once I'm feeling better and things are back to the way they were, it will be like I never left.

Once again, he was very wrong.

***

In the weeks that followed his re-emergence into his real life, Jim discovered very quickly that the life he had left was either very different than he had remembered it to be, or that he himself was very different than he had once been. He supposed both might be a little true.

Being in his mother's embrace was the only thing that felt completely safe and normal after his return. He didn't care that she had just grounded him; when he finally saw her again, he hugged harder and longer than he could ever remember doing, and he had felt better, more like himself, until he'd tried to go to sleep that night and the cold returned. The next morning, he had attempted to do his usual routine like nothing had ever happened, but even that familiar motion felt hollow and the smile he flashed his mom before leaving for school barely concealed the emptiness just beneath the surface.

Other than that first hug, everything else around him, including his friends, school, good food, trolls, even his mom - all things he had coveted during his time in the Darklands - were strange and foreign to him.

Claire and Toby, though they did their best to be understanding and supportive, were obviously thrown off by his sudden mood swings and sullen attitude. They seemed distant and somehow unfamiliar, and Jim found himself feeling awkward around them, unable to figure out what to talk about or why he should laugh at the joke Toby had just made. Didn't they understand that none of this really mattered? There was so much darkness and pain and fear just beneath the skin of this world, and if they scratched the surface just a little too deeply, it could break loose and destroy them all. So he did what he could to avoid these awkward moments all together, and barely noticed the hurt and disappointment blooming in their eyes as he shut them out and walked away.

He'd thought school would be a great return to normalcy, but everything about it grated on his nerves. Even the cheers as he returned to campus - Congrats on beating Jim Lake Disease! - made him feel claustrophobic. He barely held it together anytime Steve cornered him, his heart racing madly in his chest like it wanted to escape, with or without him. The teachers were demanding, the sound of the lockers made his head ache and reminded him too much of the sound of a cage door slamming shut, and once, when Coach had grabbed his arm to show the class proper movement for a volleyball serve, raw, animal fear had overtaken him, and he'd flipped the teacher onto his back and scurried, terrified, under the bleachers. He barely remembered it, except for the pain in his chest, the short, insufficient puffs of breath, and Claire finally coaxing him out after class dismissed and herding him to the nurse. It was a panic attack, she'd said, eyeing him with concern, and had he had any drastic life changes, any unusual stressors? He lied, because he couldn't do anything else, and she told him to consider seeing a counselor anyway.

"Maybe the nurse is right," Claire said on their way to Troll Market that evening. "You're obviously struggling with this. Maybe you should go to counseling, or something." Her voice was soft and soothing, like she was talking to a wounded beast. Perhaps she was.

Jim laughed, a harsh, cold sound that stopped his best friends in their tracks. "Oh, sure, I'll just do that," he said sarcastically, hating himself as the bitterness dripped from his lips like an overflowing witch's brew but unable to stop the words or the emotions that spawned them. "I'm sure there's plenty of shrinks out there that can help me with my troll-induced trauma."

One of the things he'd missed the most was food - good food, not soupy nightmare-creature eggs or slimy soup made from monster meat that was probably not good for humans but that he had scarfed down on the rare occasion that Gunmar had deigned to feed him. Now, he ate because it was expected of him, but he barely tasted the food. Even his favorite recipes were like ash in his mouth, and cooking didn't bring him the pleasure it once had.

If Claire and Toby were baffled by his behavior, their confusion was nothing compared to that of Blinky and Aaarrrgghh, his two closest friends and trainers in Troll Market. Blinky had fretted on more than one occasion that perhaps they had brought home a changeling Jim somehow, not the real one. After all, Jim Lake, Jr. was kind and funny and fun to be around, and this new Jim was brooding and dull and never truly present. Jim saw the worry in Blinky's six eyes and in the anxious set of Aaarrrgghh's jaw, and it saddened him - just not enough to shake him from the waking hell his life had become. Training was a monotonous routine as he gradually built his strength back up, and even Draal, perhaps the least emotionally-inclined of the trolls save for Vendel, found himself hesitantly asking the young Trollhunter if he was okay, if there was anything he needed that might help him feel better. Jim gave him a half-hearted smile, truly touched, but said no. He wasn't sure anything could fix this hole that had been drilled inside of him. It was too dark, too empty, and it hurt too damn much.

His mom had noticed a difference in him too, but she was at a complete loss. Jim tried his hardest to be his old self when he was with her, and being in her company did bring back a spark of his personality, but even so, he saw the concern in her bright blue eyes whenever she looked at him, and he'd seen her at school in conference with Seňor Uhl, and knew that she was trying to get any inkling of what was eating away at her son. Claire and Toby were no help to her, either, for after she had cornered them after school one day, demanding to know what had happened and why Jim was behaving so uncharacteristically, they had taken extra care to avoid her, unable to say or do anything to ease her worry.

***

And so this went on for nearly two weeks before Toby, Claire, Blinky, Aaarrrgghh, and Draal met up with the sole intention of finding a way to bring their friend back. He was suffering so much, and no one could truly understand what he had gone through.

"He clearly has signs of PTSD," Claire said heavily, clarifying for a befuddled Aaarrrgghh: "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"This… order?" Aaarrrgghh drawled, eyes wide in concern.

"Disorder, big guy," Toby corrected, heaving a weary sigh. "It means he's been through something traumatic, and he can't deal with it."

"Well, how do humans usually deal with their trauma and stress?" Blinky asked, always straight to business.

Claire and Toby exchanged knowing glances. "Most of the time, we don't. We just avoid it all together," Claire admitted. "But when someone has been through something like Jim has - extended periods of isolation, being a prisoner, abuse - it's not enough to pretend it doesn't exist." A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away with the heel of her hand angrily. "I knew he'd be in bad shape when he came back," she admitted. "But he was so happy to see us when we rescued him that I thought that maybe he would be okay."

"What do humans do if they cannot ignore this trah-mah?" Draal enunciated the unfamiliar word. It was quite endearing to see such a hulk of a beast with so much concern in his dark eyes.

"Usually, they see a therapist," Toby supplied.

Aaarrrgghh frowned. "There - I - pissed?"

Toby snorted in almost manic laughter. "Therapist," he repeated, still chuckling. "A person who goes to school to know how to help people with their problems and stuff."

"Well," Blinky said, a new light in his eyes, "we shall venture forth and find Master Jim one of these therapists! Then he'll be back to his old self in no time!" He noticed the dubious expressions on the humans' faces. "What? Are the therapists extinct?"

"No," Claire replied. "But Jim was right - he can't talk to anyone but us about what has happened, and he obviously has no interest in talking to us!"

"Yeah," Toby chimed in, "if he went up to a shrink and told them that he had been stranded in a dark, forbidden hellscape searching for a lost child and then was the prisoner of a crazy troll that wants to escape his eternal prison and conquer the overworld… he'd be thrown in the loony bin for sure."

"So it's hopeless." Blinky's arms fell limp at his sides. "We can do nothing to help Master Jim escape the clutches of PDSC." Neither Toby nor Claire bothered to correct him. Blinky continued, "Is there anything else that might help Master Jim? Anyone else that he might talk to that would not throw him in this 'loony bin'?"

Claire opened her mouth to say no, but shut it abruptly, the light of an idea sparking in her eyes. "Actually," she said, the hint of a real smile making an appearance for the first time in a very long time, "I think I have an idea." When six pairs of eyes locked onto her hopefully, she added, "And it might even be a good one!"

***

When Jim got home from school two days after the secret meeting between his friends he was surprised to hear someone bustling about in the kitchen when he opened the front door. His mom worked late on Tuesdays, and anyway, her car wasn't in the drive. He reached his hand into his bag, paranoia growing, and his fingertips had just brushed the curve of his amulet when a tall Asian woman wearing a smart pantsuit limped into sight. His bag fell to the floor.

"Nomura?"

It was odd seeing her in her human form; after spending so much time around her changeling form in the Darklands, he had forgotten that she was quite pretty as a human. "Hello, Little Gynt." Her voice was also much less grating in this shape, but he found he didn't like the softer tones as much anymore.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, picking his bag up and hanging it on the stair rail, though he closed his hand around the amulet first, clutching it tightly in one fist. It wasn't that he didn't trust Nomura - she had proven herself to be a loyal, if reluctant friend - but because he had come to associate her presence in general with danger. If she noticed his cautionary measure, she didn't mention it. "I thought you left," he added as an afterthought.

"I did, but I came back," she replied vaguely. A stab of annoyance shot through Jim, and even the negative emotion came as a relief - he had felt nothing but fear and numbness since returning home. The change was nice, even if it was fleeting.

"Why?" His eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me you were worried about me?"

She studied him with dark, serious eyes for a long moment. "I don't worry about anyone," she finally responded.

Jim felt a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. She said this, but he could see beneath the surface now. Their time as prisoners of Gunmar had shown him that there was much more to the changeling than met the eye. He waited for the consuming awkwardness that always set in when he was around his friends to descend, but to his surprise, he continued to feel relatively comfortable around Nomura, more at home than he had in a long while.

"Shouldn't you be in a wheelchair or on crutches or something?" he asked, gesturing to her legs. Normally she wore dresses, so he could only assume that the legs of the pantsuit hid some spectacular bruises. "I thought your legs were really hurt."

"They were broken," she agreed. "But my kind heals quickly." She moved forward slowly, then sat on the couch. "They still need a bit of rest to recover fully, though."

Jim sat down across from her in an armchair. "I can't remember if I ever said - thank you, for believing me, for helping me escape." He paused, eyes on his fidgeting hands in his lap. "For being kind."

"Well, I'm more than just a pretty face," Nomura said, and it was impossible to tell if she were joking or not. After a companionable silence, she asked, "So how have you been holding up, Little Gynt?"

Jim didn't know what it was about her, but something made him want to tell Nomura about sleepless night after sleepless night, about the nightmares that plagued him whenever he finally collapsed from exhaustion, about the cavern that had been dug seemingly overnight between himself and his friends, about how he either felt nothing or everything at every moment, about how loud footsteps made him anxious and how physical touch - except hugs from his mom - made him want to wither into himself or run away screaming, about how he had had all these expectations about what life would be like on the other side of Killahead Bridge, and how none of them had come through. He gave her a weak smile, and said, "I'm fine."

An undefinable expression flitted across the changeling's features. "Yeah, kid," she said finally. "I'm fine, too."

***

After that, Jim came home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, his mom's late days, expecting Nomura to be there, because she always was. Sometimes they'd have a cup of tea and sit in silence. Often they'd talk about mundane things - Jim would talk to her about school and his mom, and Nomura would talk about anything from opera to history to art to the strange old man who had flirted with her at the laundry mat Sunday night.

These visits, as ordinary as they were considering she was a changeling and he the Trollhunter, slowly seemed to draw more of the old Jim back out into the light. Talking to Nomura was different than talking with his friends; perhaps it was because she had been there with him in the Darklands, had suffered alongside him at the hand of Gunmar. And the more he talked to Nomura, the easier it was to talk to his friends, too. Slowly, the cavern that had been dug between him and his friends, troll and human alike, began to shrink, and he laughed aloud at a stupid pun Toby made at lunch, and he didn't retreat into himself every time a locker slammed. Still, there was a barrier between himself and his real life, the one he wanted back more than he could express but that was always just out of reach.

He found himself actually complaining to Nomura about this three Tuesdays after he had first found her waiting for him in his home. "Toby spent weeks wearing a magical mask and pretending to be me and to have my life," he said. "Sometimes I just wish that I could put that mask on and be me again too."

Nomura was quiet for several seconds, and then she told a story that seemed to be very much off topic: "When I was a child, I was told stories of the human world. It was a wonderful place, full of light and life and the sun…"

"What does this have to do with-?"

"Shut up and let me talk." When Nomura told you to do something, you did it or risked life and limb. So Jim wisely shut up and let her continue. "I grew up longing to go to that world, to see the sun and to feel the warmth and the light. The surface world was a fairy tale, and I was a little girl who grew up in the dark. Nothing else could have spoken to me more.

"But when I was finally given my chance to come into the world, to take the place of a little Asian-American girl named Zelda Namura, I was separated from my parents and my home, all alone in a world I did not understand, and it didn't matter how much I had dreamed of the sun, it wasn't what I had expected at all.

"Adjusting was… difficult. It was not until the human body I had replaced had grown older and was taken by her family to the opera that I found something that connected me to this world, something to enjoy, something of beauty. But it wasn't until I met another one like me, here in Arcadia, while under the employ of Bular, that I truly felt at home."

"Mr. Strickler," Jim realized.

"Yes. There's something very special about talking with someone - even if it's someone you're not crazy about - that understands you, where you've come from, and what you've been through."

"Is that the moral of this story?" Jim asked, partially touched, partially exasperated. "Are you trying to tell me that talking to you is going to make all of this go away because we've been through the same thing?"

Nomura shrugged. "Who knows? I just think it's a good story. You can take what you want from it."

Jim smiled.

And then everything, like water pushing relentlessly at a weakening dam, broke.

***

Jim could never remember crying the way that he did that evening. He didn't think he was sad, exactly, or hurt, or even angry anymore - he was just exhausted and overwhelmed with everything that he had gone through but kept to himself. The fear and humiliation of his capture, the paranoia that his friends were never going to trust him after he betrayed their them and went to look for Enrique without them, anxiety about Gunmar and the paralyzing horror every time he wondered if there was any way he could have followed them out of the Darklands, how he was having trouble connecting with the world he'd always known, the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the numbness and terror that followed him interchangeably, the way that every touch to his arms sent him back to his prison, being dragged painfully between two trolls strong enough to rip him in half with one swift yank…

He talked and cried and had no fewer than two panic attacks, and Nomura just sat there quietly all the while, watching with an unreadable cocktail of emotions in her eyes. When he had finally quieted, his heart feeling both emptier and lighter than it had since before he had made his journey to the Darklands, she simply handed him a packet of tissues she had packed in her purse and asked, "Better?"

He offered her a sniffle and a watery smile, unable to speak anymore, too stunned to fully process what had just happened. She stayed by his side, just being there, until his mom's headlights shone through the blinds. She would climb out the bathroom window and into the night.

Jim slept peacefully that night. If he had bad dreams, he didn't remember them.

***

It was a slow process, even after the cathartic conversation with Nomura. Jim slowly found himself acclimating more and more to his old life, with friends, school, home life, and even troll hunting becoming things to look forward to rather than dread. Loud noises and unexpected touch still startled him, but he was able to ground himself more easily now. He fell into a routine very similar to the one he'd had before, what seemed like a lifetime ago.

Cracked ribs, bruises, and cuts healed much faster than emotional scars, but at least he knew, in time, he would be okay. He was acutely aware that nothing would ever be exactly the same as it had always been, though. What he had gone through was something no person, no teenager especially, should have to experience. And while he had entered the Darklands of his own volition, none of what had happened to him there was his fault (at least that's what they told him; it would take a long while to truly believe that himself, but that knowledge, like everything else, would come in time). He had been isolated in the dark, on the run, hunted, captured and held in deplorable conditions, starved and beaten, forced to fight for his life, and nearly broken beyond repair, but he had made it this far.

Things might never be as they were, but he could forge a new path from here. He could grow stronger, adapt, overcome, and prove to Gumnar, to his friends, to troll kind, and to himself that he was more than what had been done to him. He was more than pain and trauma and helplessness and fear and rage.

He was James Lake, Jr., Jim to his friends, the first ever human Trollhunter, the son of Barbara and student of Blinky, Little Gynt, and even, he supposed, Buttsnack. Some days he would only feel like some of these things. On bad days, he wouldn't feel like any of them.

But he wouldn't forget the truth. He wouldn't lose sight of who he was so completely, not again. And, if by some horrible twist of fate he did, he knew now that he had an odd but utterly complete assortment of friends - humans, trolls, and even a couple of changelings - who would help him fight his way out. Out of the Darklands. Out of the past and pain and dark recesses of his own mind.

And into, as cliche as he knew it was, the light.

#trollhunters #tales of arcadia #jim lake jr #fanfic #angst #whump fic #emotional whump #ptsd tw #depression tw #panic attacks tw #nomura #seriously there's no way this kid escaped the darklands without being traumatized af #so i fixed it #here's my take on how it could have gone down realistically #poor jim #jim whump #emcatwrites

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momentsuspended-intime · 3 years

Text

Finding light in the darkness.

*Trigger warning* This post mentions suicide, overdosing, crisis team, alcohol, drug abuse, and other scenarios people may find triggering or offensive. Please proceed with caution.

Don’t be afraid of change, it is leading you to a new beginning. The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow. Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.

Sitting in my living room, empty boxes of codeine surrounding me, this is it I thought, all the pain was going to end. Finally.

I texted my ex, I messaged my friends, all saying goodbye and how sorry I was for causing so much turmoil. I felt broken and defeated, I just wanted it all to stop. My head was racing, I just wanted all these thoughts to stop going round and round my head, was a little peace too much to ask for? Suddenly my Mum entered the room her face was pale. “What have you done?!” she cried, tears streaming down her face. All I could do was look at her and apologise, I had a momentary lapse where I hadn’t considered my next steps. One of my friends had messaged my Mum in a panic; my ex was on the phone, I could hear him crying but I just felt numb.

My Dad then raced into the room “Why would you do this, Victoria?” “Not my baby, please no” Those words will haunt me for the rest of my life. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen my Dad cry, but this was different. In that moment I thought “had I made a mistake?” but I still felt numb. Maybe it was the 60 codeine tablets I took or the adrenaline pumping through my body but all I felt was nothing. It had been like that for weeks now. This empty feeling inside me, like a black hole, sucking out every little piece of love and emotions I had. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder, but I’ll get to that later.

Suddenly I was in the back of an ambulance, ECG hooked up to my body, and I’d spend hours in the hospital, being seen by different Doctors and Mental Health Nurses. My parents were pushing to having me committed. The hospital didn’t do anything; they sent me home and in less than 24 hours I’d be back in the hospital after a second failed attempt at taking my own life. 120 codeine tablets in total over 24 hours. Thank god I’m alive writing this now. I’m not a religious person but I must have someone looking down on me, keeping me safe.

You might be wondering how I got to this point, you see I’ve always known something wasn’t quite right, I could never put my finger on it but I never felt ‘normal’. Whatever normal is anyway. My head had always been a chaotic place for as long as I can remember, I always felt things so intensely, but that was normal right? I never knew any better. I would say goodbye to my ex after a lovely weekend together (he was in the RAF so I only got to see him on weekends) and I would have been crying hysterically, like he was being deployed for 6 months but in reality I’d be seeing him again in 5 days time. Minutes later in my car with music blaring I’d be singing and dancing along to the radio, like the previous few moments never happened. Something that would annoy the average person would make me fly into a fit of rage; my family described it as like walking on eggshells when they were around me. Too scared to say certain things out of fear of how I would react.

Anyway I’m digressing here, but the point is I always knew something wasn’t right with me. So what happened to make me feel so low? I had a week from hell. I’d been fired from my job by e-mail, basically told not to come in the following Monday. I was heartbroken, I was a photographer for a Cigar and Whiskey company, and I’d studied Photography at University. I could do that job in my sleep but that e-mail hit me like a tone of bricks. Later that week I would find out that my Nan had stage 5 terminal kidney disease and a couple days later my boyfriend of 3 and a half years would break my heart. It was traumatic, we’d spent 4 lovely days together and on the Sunday he woke up, looked at me and ended it. Just like that. I still remember the stabbing sensation in my stomach when I instantly knew something was wrong. An hour later I was driving 4 hours back from Buckinghamshire, crying my eyes out, reality had not yet set in and I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I still remember hearing Lizzo on the radio “If he don’t love you anymore, just walk yo’ fine ass out the door”. How ironic.

The day after my stint in the hospital I find myself sat in a room at the Crisis Centre on Northgate Street, waiting to be seen by a Psychiatrist and Mental Health Nurse to discuss what needs to be done. I’m angry, exhausted, confused and want anything but help. One of the Mental Health Nurses looks at me and says, “If you’re going to kill yourself, you’re going to do it anyway”. That was it, I went super saiyan, how dare he say that to me! These people are supposed to be here to help me, I know I didn’t want help at that point but how could someone in authority whose profession it is to support and care for those in a crisis say something so repulsive? That would be one of many unsavoury experiences I’d have with the Mental Health services.

After finally speaking to the manager (I promise I’m not a Karen), we all agreed that at home treatment would be best for my situation and me. Over the next few weeks I would be seen by the Crisis team every day. Every damn day I would have to explain in intricate detail what had happened and how we got to this point. You see with the Crisis team you don’t see the same person every day, they’re all on shifts, so each visit I would meet someone new and be expected to open up to a complete stranger about how I was feeling. When in a crisis a person needs consistency, the chance to build a rapport with someone and to feel like they’re being listened to. Not judged for being in the position I found myself in.

After many visits with a Psychiatrist and members of the Crisis team they came to a conclusion, I didn’t realise just how life changing this revelation would be. I had Borderline Personality Disorder. Suddenly everything fell into place; intense and unstable emotions? Check. Feeling empty and angry? Check. Impulsivity? Check. In total there’s 9 different symptoms for BPD (I’ll cover this in a future post), and I had all 9.

If you’re wondering what Borderline Personality Disorder is exactly then let me give you a brief outline, of course this is one of the most misunderstood and often stigmatised mental health issue a person can have. In simple terms BPD is a condition that affects how you think, feel and interact with other people. People with BPD experience a pervasive pattern of instability, both in the way they view themselves and with interpersonal relationships.

BPD isn’t a fad, it isn’t quirky, it can be soul destroying and it almost cost me my life. Experiencing a break up, losing a job and finding out a loved one is ill was just too much. Just one of those things can cause someone with BPD to lose control, they say things come in threes and for me it was true. To a ‘normal’ person a break up is hard, unless you’re lucky enough to part ways as friends, for me it felt like someone had died. That might sound dramatic but it was true, I didn’t realise but my ex was my FP (favourite person). People with BPD often have a FP, someone they rely on and put on a pedestal, and this person can do no wrong. My problem is my FP broke my heart.

Now don’t get me wrong I know it takes two to tango, I wasn’t a saint but in my defence I didn’t realise I was ill. I was moody, never wanted to spend time with his family, argued over every little thing and I wanted him all to myself. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was obsessed.

I spent the next two weeks at a friend’s house, drinking and getting high. My head was a mess, thoughts racing; I just wanted a moment of calm. I thought I was making myself feel better, trying to forget all the chaos going on in my life but I was just making everything worse. I wasn’t facing these problems head on, I was masking them and I didn’t realise it but things were about to erupt.

During this time I was a train wreck, I was drinking at every moment I could. Taking the dog out so I could nip to the shops and down a bottle or two of Lambrini in the park (how classy, right?). My problem was during this time drinking would make me disassociate; I’d become violent and angry. At one point I found myself in the back of a police van, but I’m not ready to talk about that yet.

I had reached rock bottom, my family stood by me, and god knows why- I gave them every opportunity to disown me and kick me out of the house but they never did and for that I am eternally grateful. I knew something had to change, I HAD to change. I couldn’t keep going on living like this, surly there’s more to life than this?

I decided I would quit drinking and get my life back on track. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but anything worth having in life isn’t. I decided to try and raise money for NSFT (Norfolk and Suffolk Foundation Trust), at this point I had been discharged by the Crisis team and I was now in the hands of NSFT. This is when I met Allison, my Mental Health Nurse and things finally started to change for the better.

I started cycling 30 miles every day, I reached over 500 miles but due to health reasons I had stop. It’s my aim to re-start my little goal and hopefully add to the £250 I’ve raised so far. I started engaging with NSFT; I had weekly meetings with my MH Nurse, Allison and went to Recovery College, learning ways to cope with my diagnosis and my recovery.

During this time I started feeling better, I was given a cocktail of medications such as antipsychotics and anti-depressants and slowly the real me was starting to come out.

2 years on I feel like a completely different person. I’ve rebuilt my relationship with my family; I’m one year sober and living in a beautiful new house. Treatment, medication and personal growth have changed me. Just yesterday my Sister was saying she could finally see the real me, the one that had always been there but just needed some nurturing (and treatment) to help shine through.

I’ve made many mistakes in life, I’m sure you’ll hear more about these in future posts but I decided I wanted to give back and use my experiences to help other people. You see I’ve always felt lost, like I never knew who I was as a person or what I wanted to do in life but I’ve finally found my calling. Last November I enrolled on a course and now I’m studying to become a Mental Health Nurse myself.

During my recovery I found that talking to someone who has lived experience of mental health issues utterly valuable. They understand you in a way no one else does, you have this shared connection. So I decided I wanted to take my lived experience, mistakes I’ve made, everything I’ve learnt over the past two years and try to help someone else that’s going through a Crisis.

I started volunteering at a Mental Health Charity called Together, working with the service users to offer them some support and it gave me a real taste of how it would be to work as a Mental Health Nurse and help someone who really needed it. Unfortunately lockdown hit and I had to stop volunteering.

I’m still working on my online course and hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be a Peer Support Worker and from there I’ll be able to join a course to specialise in Mental Health Nursing. For the first time in my life I have a plan.

What happened to that angry girl, who was moody all the time and argued over every little thing? I can say proudly that she no longer exists. Now I’m confident, happy and feel motivated to get as much out of life as possible. I’ve even started dating again! I’ll occasionally feel my mood flip quite quickly but I’m better at managing it now. Like any other illness you learn to live with it, this time though I’m not letting my diagnosis define me.

My relationship with my family has never been better, of course it’s not easy to forgive and there’s some things you can’t forget but my family have never held the things I’ve done against me. The past two years have been really tough but I’ve learnt a lot about myself as a person and the type of person I want to be. It hasn’t been easy writing this blog post, I wanted to give an honest and raw account of what it’s like to experience the darkest point of your life and what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up.

If you’re experiencing a hard time just know my inbox is always open, you’re not in this alone and I promise you things will get better.

Until next time.

Victoria Jane x

#BPD #borderline personality traits #borderline personality #mental health #bpdwarrior #tw suicice #trigger warning #it gets better #one step at a time #personal post #mental health blog

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queenjunoking · 4 years

Text

Wolf Taming Pt. 5

CW: Noncon - Shock Collar - Pain - Petplay - drugs - Kidnapping - Manipulation

I woke up early the next day so I could start preparing for the day ahead. I went through my normal routine, though my heart wasn’t in anything I was doing. I kept my eye on the camera for any signs she might be stirring. I wasn’t too worried though, she had a very rough time so far and her body needed rest.

I triple checked my plans for the day. I needed to keep my confidence up. I knew what my plans were and what my plans were if those plans got derailed. Today was extremely important. She suffered through sleep deprivation over her first night and most of the day yesterday. But today she was going to learn what her life here was really going to be like and come face to face with her future. I was willing to offer nothing but rewards and praise if she accepted it.

I was also looking forward to what I was going to do to her when she didn’t.

I went into the wolf’s den at 8. I had to be in there before she woke up, but she was so sleep deprived I knew it could wait. I needed her to wake up when I arrived, disoriented. I also didn’t want to give her the chance to deny she had enjoyed my gifts. She knew there was a speaker I talked to her through, but for all she knew it was prerecorded audio. She may suspect I had cameras in here but I wasn’t going to tip my hand and say there were.

“Good morning Sasha!” I flipped on all the lights at once and announced my presence.

She bolted to her feet in surprise. She wobbled a bit, she was still exhausted. Her head shot side to side to see the room. Then her shoulders slumped down. I could only assume she had hoped that everything had just been a dream and maybe it was over. In a way it was a dream. It was just my dream, not hers.

“I see you enjoyed my gifts.” I motioned to the pillow, empty water bottle and the candy bar wrapper. “I see you still haven’t touched your kibble yet. You need to eat something that isn’t candy. I also see you haven’t used the litter box. The only other options available to you are diapers or puppy pads. I’m fine with whatever option you want but do know if you go on the floor again you will be punished.

“You’ve had your fun. Please, just let me go home. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” She spoke quietly. She was trying to keep herself from cracking and crying in front of me, not knowing how much I enjoyed listening to them last night.

“Oops. I’m sorry Sasha. That was my fault so I won’t punish you for that, but you should know that you shouldn’t be talking without permission. Talking is for people.” I sounded as cheery as I could as I set the shock collar to go off again if she talked.

“So today is the real first day here. You’ve been here for a day and a niht sure, but you’re going to be learning some stuff. You’re the new animal in the hou -” I tried to start my introduction but I was interrupted.

“I’m not an ani-” she convulsed a bit as she tried to speak. She tried to reach for her neck but stopped herself before she pulled at her collar. It was important for me to get through what I had to say so I turned it up higher than it was before.

“Ok. I see you’re still not understanding some things. I’m going to explain them to you, but first I think I will tell you your punishments and rewards. You get 5 strikes a day. You will get a strike every time you act out in a way that you shouldn’t but I don’t feel justified a shock. After 5 strikes you will earn a special punishment of my choosing. If you are good at the end of each day I will allow you to ask me any question you desire and I promise I will answer it honestly. Shake your head up and down if you understand.” She narrowed her eyes at me, but nodded her head.

“Ok, good girl Sasha. So, as I was saying, you are the new animal in the house. Like all animals you will need some training. Depending on how it goes you might get to leave your cage more often. You’ll be spending the next few days learning some new things and how your new life will work. I love you very much Sasha and I want you to have a wonderful life here, but you need to learn first or else how can I trust you?” It was important to play it like she was the one causing the problems. It didn’t matter that I took her and brought her here. She was the one causing problems and needed to change.

Her face went bright red and she began breath heavily. It was like watching a dog pant. She looked stunning like this. I was poking a wild animal, if these bars weren’t between us I had no doubt she would have torn me in half. But that’s why it was fun.

“I can see you really have something you want to say. You at least understand you can’t talk right now. But we can find a middle ground. Would you like to be allowed to talk?” It was a leading question. She knew there was a catch to it. But being silenced was killing her. She nodded slowly, never taking her eyes off me.

“If you want to learn how to talk then you need to kneel on the floor first and we can start.” She crossed her arms adamantly, apparently this was a line she didn’t want to cross right now. I sighed and activated the subservient mode and walked towards the cage. Every step closer the collar would increase the pain as long as she stood higher than I did. I stood next to the cage as she was gripping the bars with all of her might while trying to stay up.

“Ple… ple...ase sto-op.” She figured out the obvious, two shocks couldn’t happen at once so she couldn’t be directly harmed for talking.

“Then kneel Sasha and it’ll stop hurting.” I snapped at her like she was being a fussy child. “You’re just doing this to yourself. You can stop hurting yourself at any point. This is all your choice.” I crossed my arms and stared at her while she tried her best to glare at me. Eventually it became too much for her body to handle and it gave out and she collapsed to the floor.

I was impressed she managed to stay up long enough for her body to give out, but I was annoyed that it was cutting into my fun time. I watched her twitch as the muscles in her body still spasmed from the assault she had undergone. I left her collapsed in her cage and went to get something to drink and reset my temper. I wanted to have my performing wolf and if I decided to continue all I would get is a meek dog covered in battle scars. I left the room in a huff and slammed the door behind me. I needed to give her time to recover unfortunately. But I had all weekend to play with her and despite whatever lingering hope was bouncing around that head of hers.

There was no escape from me.

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