Has anyone heard the song ‘one of us’ by Creeper and thought… holy shit this is Steve thinking about Bucky?
I'm changing pronouns in the song and swapped velvet for leather.
I'm about to analyze the shit out of this. (Well not really but it's my head cannon for this song)
So get ready for a ramble post with visual aids. If the artists (who have been credited) don't wish to have their art on this post please let me know! I will take them down.
Now, lets get into it.
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-“Boy, when you showed up here there was no blood left to drain”-
‘Bucky?’
Steve's face when he sees Bucky on the bridge.
When Bucky showed up Steve had already bled for all he had lost. Physically and emotionally. He had mourned for his past, for his best friend who was not standing in front of him and he froze. He completely dropped his fighting stance and stood up straight. He had already grieved and metaphorically bled for this man and now here Bucky was, standing in front of him and he didn't know what to do.
-“We were born for dying here like snow under the rain”-
Both of them ‘died’ during World War II.
Bucky falling from the train, thought dead only to have been experimented on and tortured. His own self dying as Hydra took his memories and made him into something so far from himself that he was essentially reborn as someone else.
Steve who selflessly ‘died’ by crashing a plane in order to save everyone else. Only to be woken 70 years in the future to a world he no longer knew. To a world that he thought he had saved, only to find out his sacrifice hadn't changed anything.
-“You know when they find us here, they'll kill us both the same”-
Steve, on the run from SHIELD (Hydra) trying to save his best friend. They were completely willing to kill Steve, and as Bucky started coming back to himself, they were completely willing to kill him too.
Bucky's apartment in Bucharest. Need I elaborate?
(As a side note/theory, this line also fits to them being together in the 40s. Being found out to be gay could very well have gotten them both killed.)
-“So for the final time, put your hand in mine and I'll kiss away the pain”-
Pushing aside the trash writing of Endgame. Head cannon here is that they finally get to rest for a while, together. They finally reached the end of the line. Bucky coming to grips with his past, with the help of Steve.
Steve taking Bucky's hand and leading him out of the darkness.
(art by @ekbe-vile and @queercatcryptid)
-“Born in the shadows, to die in the dust”-
Taking this line literally. Bucky being born in the shadows as the Winter Soldier, somewhat coming out of that pain only to be snapped by Thanos. Literally dying as dust.
-“Not like the others, you're one of us”-
Steve defending Bucky, standing by him through all of it. He's not what everything thinks he is (especially Sam at first). He's one of the good guys. He's one of the Avengers. He is one of them. He is One Of Us.
-“No I don't sleep no more, when I did I dreamed of you”-
It would have been so amazing and heartwrenching to see Steve going through some form insomniac faze after he woke up. Being so torn apart from everything that happened to him, to dream only of seeing Bucky falling. His biggest failure and fear was not being able to grab his hand.
-“Now the devil's at your door and there's a darkness seeping through”-
This is Bucky coming to grips with his own mind. That line in CAWS where he says “I don't know if I'm worth all this Steve.”
The darkness of not feeling worthy of salvation. Of self hatred at what he did, even if he didn't have a choice. Because “I know, but I did it”
Look at that lip twitch... That's a man who doesn't believe what he's being told.
(Art by @mohish-ko)
-“So pretty like a dying flower in your tight leather clothes”-
Relief that Bucky is alive. But it's not quite Bucky is it? Not yet.
It's so Beautiful yet so tragic.
Bucky is alive. But - “he didn't even recognise me”
-“So tragic in the final hour as the sun descends over fields of virgin snow”-
Steve willing to die at the hands of Bucky instead of fighting against him.
Bucky's conflicted face as his mind races, searching to understand this man, this mission, beneath him who is beaten and bloody.
But Bucky's body just won't move.
An awareness is slowly rising in him, melting the ice from his memories. Although he can't make sense of why yet.
I just... omg this song kills me. If y'all haven't heard it I highly recommend checking it out. And if you have any insights or thoughts on this, please feel free to speak up in the comments! Let's discuss!
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btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.
it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'
and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.
and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.
like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.
hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.
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