#Cashay Henderson
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#SayHerName Cashay Henderson
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Trans Awareness, Remembrance, and the Dangers of Existing
For those who still yet live.
(Image from GLAAD.)
November 13th – 19th was the annual Transgender Awareness Week, a week that ends in Transgender Day of Remembrance. The Day of Remembrance is a day that is solemn, tragic, and rather sobering. It’s the day we take to remember our transgender siblings who were killed in acts of transphobic hate. It is a day of mourning, of gravity, and many, many tears, because of how truly painful it can be. For me, a newly self-realized trans woman, it’s even more sobering.
Rewind to about a year ago. I was beginning to acknowledge the enormity of my gender dysphoria after 35 years of denial. It was something I was desperate to avoid at the beginning because I knew. I knew how much the world hates trans people for existing. How dangerous it is to step outside of the boundaries of the fragile social structure that we have encoded into our lives. How brittle and unsafe it can all be for someone who does not conform to the gender that we were assigned at birth.
I wanted to look away for so very, very long. To not admit the truth of my nature. But the funny thing about the truth is that it just stays there, even if you don’t believe it. And my truth was that I was trans. My new reality was that no matter how far I go in the journey, no matter how well I might “pass” (even though passing isn’t the goal, it’s being authentic to myself), there will always be people who hate me for existing.
I was unable to write this yesterday, due to obligations, but I wanted to write about it, nonetheless. Some friends of mine were able to hold a ceremony for the lives of our trans siblings who were taken this year. They got to say their names. They got to hold a candle for these brothers and sisters, dear people whose lives ended because someone decided that they shouldn’t exist.
These are their names. *
London Price.
Lisa Love.
A’nee Johnson.
Chyna Long.
YOKO.
Sherlyn Marjorie.
Kylie Monali.
Luis Angel Diaz Castro.
Thomas “Tom-Tom” Robertson.
De’Vonnie J’Rae Johnson.
Jacob Williamson.
Chanell Perez Ortiz.
Ashia Davis.
Banko Brown.
Rasheeda “Koko Da Doll” Williams.
Ashley Burton.
Tasiyah “Siyah” Woodland.
Tortuguita.
Cashay B. Henderson.
Imanitwitaho Zachee.
Maria Fer.
Jasmine “Star” Mack.
Unique Banks.
Say these names in your heart. Know that theirs was a life that was beautiful and should not have been taken away by a person with hate in their heart and fear in their mind. Recognize the fact that the largest percentage of these victims were black women by far. The oldest one of them was only 41 years old, 5 years older than me. Most were in their twenties. Some were in their teens. All were beautiful. All were born with innate divinity, the same innate divinity that dwells in each of us, the same image of the transcendent God that created all of us.
Remember them. Feel the weight of them. It’s a heavy load to bear, and much more than the community can stand. We are in an era of rapidly increasing transphobia. There is a concerted effort to mandate us out of existence legally. I honestly am somewhat afraid of coming home for Christmas this year because of my running into the wrong person while trying to spend time with my loved ones. (Then I remember it will be in Austin, and that’s probably as safe as it gets for gender-nonconforming individuals, and I relax, but it’s still by a slim margin.)
Before the day of remembrance is Trans Awareness Week. What's funny is before the past couple of years, I would rate everyone’s awareness of transgender people as relatively low, until certain lawmakers decided to make it an enormous issue. The truth of it is that trans people have always existed. We’ve always been there. Going back thousands of years, in cultures all over the globe, you will find trans people in history, if you look for them. Even going back, a couple of decades, yeah, things weren’t great for trans people, but mostly it was because people didn’t know what we were. People lived entire lives, not being free to be themselves. Now, we have people trying to educate people so that kids like me might understand more about themselves, and in response to simply new, better information about transgender identities, people react with hatred.
The thing about transgender people that I’m learning every day is that they are some of the bravest people I know. It takes bravery to ask yourself the hard questions about your identity. It takes bravery to live authentically as you are meant to be.
I was afraid that I didn’t have it in me to be brave enough to be trans.
But it doesn’t matter if I’m brave. It matters that I live. It matters that I exist. I’m extremely lucky, and privileged, to be where I am. To have lived the life I have lived is an extraordinary blessing. To have a family that still loves me and supports me is a blessing beyond measure. To have a partner who is willing to support me is an even greater blessing. So many trans kids and adults don’t have that. So many are turned out into a cold world that doesn’t want to make space for them. So many people would rather we did not exist.
The truth is, we do exist. And no matter how much they can try to legislate us out of existence, there will always be trans people. That’s the truth that cannot be erased or ignored. Just like I couldn’t ignore the truth about my gender identity, we as a people can’t ignore the hatred and violence that is done to trans people all the time. We cannot ignore the concerted effort by a few hateful individuals whose world is so small they cannot appreciate the infinite amount of beauty that trans people give to the world just by our existence.
I’m writing this because I want to make sure at the very least that I remember my siblings who have gone before me—those who face hatred and violence because of the small-minded hatred of bigots. Our world is so much more beautiful for us living in it.
May we one day live in a world where we no longer need to remember the lives of those killed because of anti-transgender hatred.
_________________________________________________
*Names retrieved from https://glaad.org/tdor-memoriam/.
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Cashay Henderson was a Black trans WOMAN found dead with a gunshot wound in her apartment, which had apparently been afterward set on fire by her assailant. An arrest has been made. She is the third Black trans woman in Milwaukee to be killed in nine months. Her cousin has set up a GoFundMe on behalf of her family.
#milwaukee#black trans lives matter#say her name#lgbt#lgbtq#queer#transfem#transmisogyny#protect black trans women#protect black women
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I'm so fucking tried of hearing about trans people's deaths. Brazil Johnson, Regina Allen, Cashay Henderson, Brianna Ghey Brianna Ghey, and now Eden Knight. There's probably a dozen more deaths that we don't know about.
Both Eden Knight and Brianna Ghey were deadnamed and misgender in articles and on Twitter. Eden was forced to detransition after being kidnapped. Her death wasn't a suicide. It was a murder.
Trans people aren't trying to trans the kids or whatever the fuck conservatives believe. We're not trying to trick people or anything. We're trying to live our lives.
I don't want to keep mourning trans' peoples deaths. We shouldn't have to be afraid all the time. I should be able to grow old. WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO GROW OLD!
I'm sorry to Brazil Johnson, Regina Allen ,Cashay Henderson, Brianna Ghey, and Eden Knight. I'm sorry to all of those whose deaths went unnoticed. I'm so sorry you didn't live to see trans liberation. I hope you all find the peace you desperately wanted in life in death. You all deserved better. I will keep fighting for them.
#eden knight#miles talks#transgender#nonbinary#queer#lgbtq#lgbtqia#pride#trans lives matter#black trans lives matter#trans rights are human rights#sucicide#tw suicide#transphobia tw
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Funny, Sweet and Fabulous
An elegy for Cashay Henderson (also known as Gemini Shanti)
Funny, sweet and fabulous
Murdered in Milwaukee:
SHE WAS:
"Nothing less than a joy."
"So beautiful."
Originally from Chicago.
an active member
for more than five years
a meeting space for
Black Trans Women
Supporting our girls,
"Inspiring to many
of our ladies."
Sources suggest she loved
makeup, fashion, hip-hop,
the organization
SHEBA
(Sisters Helping Each Other
Battle Adversity),
restaurants and humour
You can read more
(31-year-old)
at the link
(also known as Gemini)
below
234 comments
24 hours ago, Cashay Henderson,
Funny, sweet and fabulous,
murdered in Milwaukee
this past Sunday
You can learn more about Cashay Henderson's story here at Them.us. Today and always, trans rights are human rights.
#poetry#original poetry#tw death#tw hate crime#tw transphobia#tw queerphobia#elegy#lgbt#pride#lgbtq#queer#trans#original writing
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Watch "Trans woman killed: Advocate speaks to dangers of being yourself" on YouTube
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"Funny Sweet and Fabulous": Black Trans Woman Cashay Henderson Killed in Milwaukee
She is the third Black trans woman to be killed in Milwaukee in the last nine months.
https://www.them.us/story/cashay-henderson-black-trans-woman-killed
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“RIP Cashay Henderson, Black trans woman found dead. Media was misgendering her. This would be the fourth Black trans person dead I've heard about this month. While everyone accused us of being "divisive" for telling us not to gatekeep hashtags that were meant for our issues.”
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only one like on the Cashay Henderson post. i dont trust 99.99% of y’all. most of y’all do not care about Black trans folk. also fuck off to the folks who see all of my posts and only like or two from time to time because y’all dont want the antiBlack clouted folks to see y’all supporting me in anyway. no convictions on this site, just neoliberalism and conservatism.
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