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pixelchills · 2 months

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Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):

(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)

I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.

Intro:

So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...

But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.

My biggest issue with TSAMS:

I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.

My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.

Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).

The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.

I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.

I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.

The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.

Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.

Why I ship Sun and Moon:

Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.

The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.

I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.

But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.

This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.

And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.

Why I stopped watching TSAMS:

And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.

It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.

Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.

I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.

But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.

Fanfics:

It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.

I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.

Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?

The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.

The FIC that is making me question everything:

So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".

I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.

Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.

Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.

I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.

But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.

End words:

I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.

I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.

Thank you.

(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).

-Chill

#pixel talks #rambles #tsams #fic rec #essay #sorry my head is simply just confused

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buckgasms · 1 year

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what would daddy Bucky do if princess forgot her safe word but was clearly not enjoying whatever they were doing?

Hi Nonnie 🩵 thank you for your question 😘 I have taken this a bit further along than your request because it's a good idea to look after our Daddy Bucky too 💙

I think he would notice the changes in his princess and figure out a way to stop without upsetting you more.

So let's say you had your hands tied and he was watching your face and your lip was wobbling and you weren't making much noise, which is not usual. Sometimes you cry or whatever but it's normally like happy, spoilt tears. These ones are different.

So he slows his movement to a stop, drops his face down to yours and presses kisses to your cheeks. He gives you a moment to respond but you can't. It's too much.

"I've got a job for you princess..." He says softly and you nod, limbs shaking. "I want ten kisses babygirl.... Ten kisses, take as long as you want, but I need ten..."

As your brain catches up, you press soft, gentle kisses to his cheek. You do a few and he asks, "how many was that angel?" Gentle and kind and you stumble over your words. "It's ok Princess, can you start again...Count for me, out loud. I know you can do it Princess."

You breathe out a smile and start again. Your hands have been untied, and he's wrapped you up close. Your warm bodies are pressed together and before you even know it you are back down to Earth and pressing your tenth kiss to his lips.

"There's my girl" he whispers as you shiver a little and cling to him, teardrops gathering on your eyelashes. "M'sorry Daddy... I couldn't say it, couldn't say my words..." Your breath shudders and he holds you closer, stroking your back and telling you everything was ok.

💙

I think once you were feeling better and maybe you'd had a little doze while wrapped up in his arms you feel Daddy slip away into the bathroom.

You wait for a little while for him to come back but he doesn't come back, but you can't hear the shower or anything. So you slip out of bed and tiptoe into the bathroom where Daddy is standing staring at himself in the mirror and leaning heavily on the counter.

"Daddy... What's wrong?" You whisper and wrap your arms around him, pressing your face into his back. His heartbeat thuds heavily and his breathing seems slow and tight. He turns around and hugs you, pressing his lips to your head.

"I'm so sorry I scared your Princess. I never wanna hurt you baby.... I fucking hate it... I'm supposed to protect you... I made you cry..."

He holds your tighter and his breath shudders, so you grip his soft muscles and skim your hands up and down his body. "Daddy" you whisper, "you don't...you didn't hurt me Daddy, I promise..." He grunts a little but you just squeeze him tighter. "Daddy listen... I mean it..."

He hmms again and you move back a bit to look at him. You stroke his chest and face, wondering what to do, how to take care of your perfect daddy. Suddenly you smile and press a kiss to his cheek.

"Come on Daddy, I'll make you feel better..." He lets you drag him over to the big shower and watches as you turn the water on, smiling as you jump at the cold water, humming until it turns warm. Your outstretched hand guides him into the stream of water and you smooth your hands, guiding channels down his skin.

Taking a loofah and some of your fanciest soap and rub it all over him and you in the process. It doesn't take long before you are the bubbliest people in the world. As you wash, you ask him to pick his favourite things about you, and you pick your favourite things about him. He grips your waist gently, keeping himself grounded as you whisper pretty things and tell him how much you love him.

The water washes away bubbles and discomfort. You do your best to dry him off with a fluffy towel, but you are getting a little worn out now. Daddy is finally feeling more himself too, and takes up the task of drying you both off.

When you both slip into bed you are both wondering what to do but the exhaustion of the night takes over. It can wait till morning.

💙

You wake up to his kisses on your face, you both smell of your chosen shower gel and you feel absolutely warm and safe.

You spend the morning in bed, discussing safe words and perhaps a new way of expressing discomfort when words are hard. That makes you both happy. And he thanks you with endless kisses and praise for taking such good care of him when he was feeling sad.

You spend the rest of the morning tucked up with him in bed, and the worries of the night before have long gone....

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #daddy!bucky #princess!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky smut #💌#darling nonnie #bucky barnes smut

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lizzieisright · 1 month

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Moon peppers (4)

(1) (2) (3)

Palestine: what can you do

were!Abby x witch!reader

Summary: Abby runs away from her (former) pack and into your forest. You're not happy with your new (woods?)mate.

Tags: fantasy au, sloppy worldbuilding (fuck it we ball), fem!reader, alpha!abby, witch!reader (so not an omega), sentient forest, stubborn idiots in love who annoy each other.

Notes: how do I keep hating the witch after she saved my life asking for a friend

Taglist: @abbysbae @poxismind @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame @pjmispunk @herdelreydear @lmaoo-spiderman @littletinyladybugs (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

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Your morning is.. odd. You expected yourself to forget how to control so much magic, but instead it feels better than the last ten years you spent being weak. You really couldn't live like this: it made you feel vulnerable and helpless, and now that your power is back, you feel like yourself again.

In a way it terrifies you. Because you were a completely different person ten years ago, and now you don't want your old habits back. You don't like seeing your tattoos and runes, especially the ones on your forearms, but you try your best to make peace with it. Your tattoos have almost nothing to do with your power - they're just channels for your magic, a spellbook engraved in your skin. They were faint before yesterday, fading away as your powers grew weaker, but they were still there, and they will not disappear until you die. You have to accept it, and maybe, if you don't make stupid decisions this time, you'll change your heart about them.

You meditate before breakfast to manage your flow of magic exactly like Caitlyn showed you, even though you expect the wolf to wake up at any moment and trash your still room. But the wolf is asleep - you can feel it through the bond, which is annoying: you don't like having your space disturbed like this. You're sure the wolf won't like it too. You concentrate on the bond between you to see how well the healing is happening and it makes you groan - fat chance it will be finished by the evening, with this pace it will take a whole damn week. The thought of spending more than a day with the wolf makes you depressed.

Abby wakes up. This fact alone shakes her to her core: she is not dead. She is supposed to be dead, what the fuck? More than that, she feels almost okay - she is not supposed to feel mostly okay, she fucking died! She knows this, because no way in hell she hallucinated having her throat ripped out.

Then Abby opens her eyes, tries to move - and goes into survival mode. She is in a still room and she is restrained. All her paws are chained and she can't move. This is worse than death. Oh god, this is so much worse.

Abby tugs on her chains with all her power, but they down even bulge. Abby growls and coils and tries again, but she only hits the wall with her back. Abby starts to panic: she can't stay here - the fucking witch bound her! She is in debt to the witch! She needs to leave before you come and order her to do something horrible.

Abby tries again, but this time the door to the still room opens and Abby sees the creepy glowing eyes of yours. Abby starts to move around even more violently - she doesn't want you anywhere near her. You're one of the rare monsters of this world and she needs to either get away from you or to kill you, but she is not staying here. The moment she is free she will rip you to shreds.

At least you look scared when you enter the room and you keep the biggest distance possible from her. Abby growls and snarls, clasping her jaws around the air, eager to kill you.

“It's not what it looks like.” You blurt, your arm in the air as if you want to tell her you came in peace.

Abby growls louder.

“Listen, I'll free you if you calm the fuck down and turn into human form so we can talk.”

Abby is so angry she doesn't even consider the possibility of calming down or pretending to calm down.

“Or I can force you to turn into a human.” You say in a shaky voice, as if you're yourself scared of this possibility.

This actually makes Abby stop. She doesn't want you near her, so she needs to pick the least of two evils. Abby growls and starts to change, her fur disappears and her bones rearrange. The chains tighten around her human wrists and now she is sitting on your floor, glaring at you, her shirt ripped on her sides and her pants dirty.

“Thank you. I will explain everything and then I'll free you, okay?” Abby just growls at you again.

You swallow hard: the wolf is even scarier as a human. The woman is big and strong and her claws are out still, her arms are bulging with muscles, and the way she looks at you doesn't help you calm your nerves. Her shirt is red from blood and it only makes her look scarier. You clear your throat and start speaking.

“Yesterday I found you dead, and the woods wanted me to save you. So I did. Right now you're still in the process of healing and if you go too far away from me, the energy will stop coming and you will die. This is why I brought you here. I also knew you would want to kill me or you'd run away, so I chained you. Now, please make peace with the fact that you're stuck with me for a while and then I will release you. Good? Good.”

Abby growls, humbled. She doesn't want to make peace with it, but you do sound logical. And you're still scared of her, which is a good sign: maybe you won't have the guts to hurt her.

“Am I blood bound to you?” Abby growls and you look offended and angry, which confuses Abby. And also amuses.

“Fuck you.” You spit. “Not all witches are like this, you ungrateful beast. The only bound you have is the energy one that heals you. After that you're free to leave and please don't ever see me again. Jerk.”

You flick your fingers for the chains to disappear and stomp out of the still room. You knew this werewolf was an asshole, but holy fuck!

The wolf stomps after you.

“It would not have happened if you didn't take all the moon peppers!” The woman argues and follows you to the kitchen. You turn around and stare at this ungrateful, entitled shit of a wolf.

“First of all, as if a bunch of moon peppers would have saved you from getting your throat ripped out!” You snap back and get into her face, angry and stubborn. “Second of all, maybe if you didn't fucking attack me and talked to me instead I would have shared some of them!” You flip your arms around in frustration.

“Because witches are famous for being helpful and kind.” The wolf snarls at you and you can't believe the audacity of her.

But she is also right. She did have all the reasons to attack you and not trust you. You calm down a bit and take a step back.

“It's still idiotic to attack a witch. I might've not been so nice.”

“You were shitting your pants in fear.” The wolf deadpans.

“As if I wouldn’t find a way to get my revenge without a direct attack. You're exceptionally stupid.” You huff and the wolf growls. “You took my friend's den, covered it in blood and attacked me. Do you comprehend what I could have done if I wanted to? You know why witches use blood binding? Because it makes us stronger.” You hiss sadistically into the blonde's face.

For a second there's fear in the wolf's eyes, and some part of you feel satisfied. The other part, though, feels disgusted with you. You take a breath.

“I'm sorry. You just really pissed me off being so stubborn about your own safety.” You sigh and rub your face.

The silence falls and you go to the kitchen to cook some breakfast for yourself and for this stupid wolf: after all, you will be stuck together and if someone will be nasty and poison the shared time, it won't be you.

Abby blinks. She feels lost. She expected you to be some kind of creep or a sadist, even if you were afraid of her; and she knew you could've bound her - that's exactly what she thought happened. But she didn't expect you to actually be nice. Well, relatively nice: you chained her for her own good, then threatened her and now you just apologised to her, and Abby feels like a fool if she continues being mean to you. She really doesn't have any ground to mistreat you except some rumours and her awful, but limited experience. She only met one witch before.

Well. She can play nice too.

“I'm Abby.” Abby says grumpily, still not ready to believe you: you just threatened to bind her, for god's sake!

You hum and tell her your name as well while you cut vegetables with aggressive vigour. Abby assumes you're imagining cutting her into pieces.

It's awkward. It is really, really awkward. You're obviously still frustrated and Abby doesn't burn with desire to talk to you either. Plus she is in your home and she definitely doesn't know where to put herself. She settles for a stool near you. Abby stares at your back and your arms silently, and then she is hit with the realisation.

“You didn't have tattoos before.”

You smirk sadly.

“Yeah, well. Before that I didn't have to revive a whole werewolf.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Ask the forest. They made a deal with me.”

How calculating, Abby thinks. Also: how the fuck do you deal with a forest?

“So you still do deals.”

“It's different.” You say sharply. “I don't blood bind.”

“I get it.” Abby huffs and backs off: a witch who doesn't like blood binding, might be a goddamn oxymoron. “So for how long am I stuck with you?”

“Three days, probably. Maybe more, depending how fast you'll heal.”

“I heal fast.”

“Don't compare your usual healing with coming back from the dead. Who knows how much of your brain died. That's why you can't be far away from me. You go away, you break the bond, your brain dies. Got it?”

Abby hums. She has never heard of anyone being able to revive someone. She thinks you know some old forbidden magic if you can bring people back, and it just doesn't match with what she sees: a scaredy cat who lives in the woods and has to spend hours fishing to get three fish. Your home is cosy and warm, with a lot of natural light and Abby doesn't understand how you could have saved her life: you’re soft and weak and live in a house suited for some kind old lady, not a witch who could bring people from the dead. How much fucking power a witch would need to even do that?

“How far is too far?”

“If I stay here and you go beyond my shields, you're dead.”

Abby sighs, annoyed. She doesn't want to stay next to you for three days. She is somewhat grateful for being alive, but it's weird. It's very weird to be in one space with you.

You place two plates and sit opposite of Abby. Abby looks at her plate and wants to hesitate, to think, but she is so fucking hungry she starts eating right away.

It's not…bad. Edible. (God she will have to eat like this for three more days?)

You watch the wolf- Abby's face and can't help your smile. Unfortunately you're very familiar with the fact you can't cook - Cait and Vi tried it once and since then you don't host dinners anymore; sometimes Cait sends you back with food - but you didn't expect the wolf to be so sensitive to your food. You eat it just fine after all.

“It's bad.” You laugh.

“It is.” Abby agrees. “Did you do it on purpose?”

“What? No. My taste senses are just fucked up by a lot of potions.”

You see how Abby tenses and you sigh: it's strange to have your everyday life being seen as some kind of horror story. There's a lot of rumours about witches that are mostly true, but you don't think of Abby as a mindless, uncivilised beast even though she is a were, so there should be room to believe that some witches are not that bad.

(You think of your past and feel ashamed: it's not like you were “not that bad” all your life).

“Don't tell me you've never drunk a potion.” You try to appeal to Abby's own experience, but you know she might have a bad one. “From coughing? Pain killers? Never?”

“Are you saying witches brew them?” Abby smirks like you're ridiculous.

“Well, yes. We sell them for money, that's how everyone gets them.”

Abby is silent as she chews your food that you think is quite edible, actually - but she drinks her flower milk with every spoon and you take a wild guess she can't stomach it.

“Okay, listen. Are you a good cook?”

“Yes, actually. Everyone with enhanced senses makes a good cook.” Abby says with pride and you see her blue eyes sparkle. She also has freckles. Which is kinda cute.

“Then you can cook whatever you want and not suffer.” You offer.

Abby frowns at you like she expects some kind of trickery. You sigh again and raise your hands in defeat. You tried.

“Do you have any meat?”

“...No.”

“And I can't hunt.” Abby explains to you like you're stupid. You roll your eyes.

“There's fish in the freezer. It should be fine.”

That's how Abby spends her afternoon: cooking fish. She has to ask you for other ingredients and you send her to your still room, which makes her shiver. It's creepy - just like you are with your eyes and tattoos and potion drinking or whatever - and Abby thinks of people trapped in these still rooms and being experimented on. She is happy she doesn't see any kind of animal parts on your shelves. You're out of the house for the most part: when Abby looks out of the window, she sees you sitting on the ground, absolutely still. Weirdo.

“At least this weirdo is harmless compared to her kin.” Abby says to herself while she cuts the fish.

You also saved her life and didn't ask for anything in return - not counting leaving you alone after - and Abby really struggles to keep thinking of you as a monster. You don't seem half-bad. And she should make friends here, now that she doesn't have a pack. The thought of being friends with a witch actually makes Abby laugh out loud.

After lunch, which is spent mostly in silence except for your praise on Abby's cooking, you tell her you'll be in the still room and that she can find something to be busy with. You point at books and yarn. Abby rolls her eyes.

She has absolutely nothing to do. Her instincts are going crazy as well: your home looks like it needs an alpha. You're not an omega, and you don't need Abby's help, but she feels like she'll go insane if she doesn't fix something. She fights her urges, but after an hour she gives up and sharpens your knives. It makes her feel easier and she can read in peace now.

You come back in a few hours and sit on the opposite end of your sofa, exhausted. Abby doesn't look at you.

“Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the village for my check ups. You'll have to come with me.”

Abby frowns. She doesn't want to show her face in the village - what if some of her former packmates are still around and will notice her?

“Can your deals wait?” You sigh loudly, annoyed: can this wolf be nice for one fucking minute or is Abby trying to establish some kind of hierarchy in your house?

“I am a healer.” You deadpan, tired of dealing with Abby’s shit. “People need me.”

“It's not safe for me to show up like this.” Abby scrunches her nose.

“I guess it’s connected to the fact that you were dead yesterday.” You say and Abby can only nod. “I can hide you, if you want. There's a spell that will not let people recognise you if they mean harm.”

Abby coils back. She doesn't want any fucking spells to be put on her! But in a second she clears her head and thinks about it: she clearly doesn’t have a choice if she wants to survive. And you offer her help, so maybe it’s not too bad.

“How can I know you're not fucking with me?” You blink and Abby tries not to look you in the eyes: you look like an owl. And not in a cute way.

“Can't you smell if I lie? I know weres can smell emotions. Also, the bond we have can make you feel awful if I try to harm you.”

Abby hums, thinking it over.

“Okay. But if you try any funny business, you're dead.”

“You'll be dead too, idiot.” You roll your eyes at Abby and she rolls hers in return.

The wolf is kinda annoying. You can understand her distrust, but her threats are getting ridiculous.

The last step of this strange and mostly unpleasant day is getting ready for bed. You look at your small sofa and try to think how Abby will fit, but the other option is the floor, which you assume she won't appreciate. You give her the choice anyway, Abby looks between the sofa and the floor like it's a hard choice, like she thinks the floor is a valid option. Then she agrees to sleep on the sofa. (I'll turn back if I'm uncomfortable, she tells you.) You bring her a pillow and a few blankets: the nights are getting cold and you usually use your magic to keep the hut warm, but you can slip up when you sleep, and wake up to a freezing house.

“Why don't you use wood like normal people?”

“It's too much work. I can find a tree that fell, but you need to chop it, bring it here, chop more, store the logs. Nah. Magic is easier.”

Abby huffs.

“So you rely on your magic all the time.”

“And you rely on your senses and strength.” You deadpan.

Abby doesn't say anything in return, having no valid arguments. You sigh and make a circle with your hand, turning all lights off, and then you show Abby where the candle is in case she needs some light for her reading. Abby nods and you wish each other good night.

You both can’t fall asleep for a long time, too bothered by each other: you don’t like having Abby in your home after she has been so nasty to you for the reason of “the witch”, and Abby doesn’t like being in your home for the reason of, well, “the witch”. She is alive, and she should be happy, but your presence is a constant threat and she can’t let herself fall asleep. You can’t fall asleep because you feel Abby, her life energy like a giant bright light in your living room and it’s hard to ignore it. You try to meditate but it seems to make you even more energised.

You fall asleep when it’s so dark you can’t see anything beyond your windows. Abby falls asleep five minutes later.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #alpha!abby #moon peppers

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mirai-e-jump · 5 months

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UTB (Up to Boy) Magazine, February 2024 Issue (Vol.334) ft. Hirakawa Yuzuki Interview and Photo Shoot (translation below)

Publication: December 22, 2023

Immovable Upside

Currently appearing in "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger," the currently airing Super Sentai series, actor Hirakawa Yuzuki-san makes her second appearance in our magazine. She's changed her hair, having it cut into a shorter style, as she presents her pure and mature duality, which has become even more transparent.

-We've been rushing through the year-

"You've cut your hair short, and your look is totally different from the last time we saw you. Personally, how do you feel about your current short hairstyle?"

Hirakawa: Before I started acting, I always kept it short, so it somehow feels nostalgic. I cut it because of my role, but I thought it was abit of a waste since it's been that long for about 5 years (laughs). Still, I think it'll be fine since it grows quickly.

"Starting from episode 27, the second chapter of King-Ohger is set two years later. We think the change in hairstyle made it easier for you to make changes in your performance."

Hirakawa: That's true. I think I'm able to show more strength. I think that after two years, they're more aware and prepared as a king, and that they have a greater sense of responsibility.

"Now that the story has progressed considerably, are there any memorable moments from the episodes that have been broadcast so far?"

Hirakawa: In episode 25, the sense of distance between Rita and their retainer Morfonia, or rather, the values of their relationship have become much closer. It was a time where Rita gathered the courage to take another step forward on their own, so that episode left quite an impression on me. From there, the way they interacted with Morfonia changed completely, so I think it was a turning point for them. Also, in episode 38, they reveal the face they've been hiding up until that point, and showed all kinds of facial expressions as an "idol," so I hope you enjoyed it.

"It's already aired, so if you haven't seen it yet, please catch up and watch it…..! By the time this magazine comes out, filming for the final episode will be underway, right?"

Hirakawa: In about another month or so……"We've got such a long time before it starts!," is what I thought, but only for a moment. I think it was more instantaneous after the Summer film ended. Until then, we weren't used to filming, and everyone was in a state of just trying to figure things out. The cast members have been good friends since the beginning, but since we spent alot of time together, including during the regional promotional campaigns for the Summer film, we became even closer, and that time really flew by.

"For those who view things similarly, the "loss" seems to be intense."

Hirakawa: It might be because me and the rest of the cast are starting to become aware of the end, or maybe it's because some fans are also like, "It's coming to an end….?" I still go out to dinner with all the cast members after filming, so I think we'll still probably see each other again ever when it's over. We've been together for a year and we've gotten to know each other very well, so when I imagine the end of filming, I feel incredibly sad.

"As a fan, I'm going to miss seeing everyone's friendly conversations on Toei Channel very much……Now, 2023 will soon come to an end, looking back, what kind of year was it?"

Hirakawa: We've really been rushing through the year. I've been working hard during the filming of King-Ohger in order to make it better and to help myself grow. I was able to experience many things this year, as there were quite a few jobs that came about as a result of King-Ohger, and it was the most thrilling year for me as a performer. Of course, there were many things I worried about, but I think it was also an extravagant year, filled with many happy and frustrating experiences.

"What kind of year do you want 2024 to be?"

Hirakawa: I think I'll be apart of King-Ohger until the first half of the year, when we perform at G-Rosso, but after that, I'll have to move forward on my own. I'd like to "polish" my inner self and become a more appealing person. As for my work, I'll do my best to continue to appear in productions without taking any breaks inbetween.

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artificialcorby · 7 months

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Beware, spoilery content for MW3

I'm sitting at the counter of my kitchen, crying into my thoroughly weighed high protein / high carb (and low flavour) lunch bowl. And no, that's not the reason I'm crying.

Ever since I turned on my (back then) PS3 and started up this new first person shooter game called Modern Warfare, I felt a deep connection with this then mute character.

I was the F.N.G. The fucking new guy.

Long before I had the words (I only came out in 2019) I knew: That's me. That guy is more like me than any other protagonist I've ever played. Not much was known about Soap back then. And not much was known about me, the real me, either.

Fast forward to 2022. I am myself. More than I've ever been. And the ratings for the upcoming new MW2 are through the roof. I remember how much I loved the old games. I haven't played CoD in a while because the newer games weren't really for me anymore. Also life got in the way and you know how things are sometimes.

To kill some time until the release of MW2, I got a copy of the new MW (which totally went under my radar, because I was busy fighting therapists, health insurance, government agencies etc., not to mention the whole coming out) and was so happy when I saw a familiar face in the post credit scene: Soap.

I started to worry if the game would live up to the hype. But not only did it feel exactly like it felt back then. It felt even better. Mainly - for me - because it felt like picking up a part of myself I thought I'd lost. It felt like reclaiming a part of me that didn't quite feel like me back then (I suppose that doesn't make much sense to anyone but me).

Playing again as Soap reminded me of how far I've come. It was like reaching out to that younger person I was back in 2007, saying "see? this is who you're supposed to be. we made it".

Recently I've started to roleplay again. Spinning stories with other people, writing from the point of view of their favorite character. Writing as Soap, I want to make people happy. Because he is the ray of sunshine we all need.

And with the ending of the new MW3 we need it even more.

The point I'm trying to make is: I don't think people can ever overestimate how much fictional characters can mean to people. Sometimes they help us through tough phases of our lives, like a close friend. Sometimes they point out a strength in us we didn't know we had. And when they're gone, they leave a hole.

I now have to continue my way without Soap once again. Even though he will live on in the fandom. I'll still be roleplaying, writing stories, maybe putting together a proper cosplay.

In the past months, Soap brought me on a better path. I've started to workout again and to better take care of myself. Because life is now. I've even started to learn Gaelic just for the sake of it. Because I love languages.

I've always wanted to visit Scotland ever since I made my own money. Never did, sadly. Maybe that's something I'll do in the near future, too. Thanks to Soap.

That and getting a very funny tattoo to honour the memory, which I might reveal once I got it.

Of course my thanks go out to all the people who worked at the game. But a special thanks also goes to Neil, who brought our dear Soap to life. Who gave him a personality he didn't have back in 2007.

And who encouraged people to express their love for this character by sharing their work on his channel. Who even humoured us when it comes to the idea of a "less professional" relationship between Ghost and Soap.

Neil, you will never know how much this meant to us. You'll always be our Soap.

#ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #ghoap #john mactavish #modern warfare 2 #cod #modern warfare 3

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inkabelledesigns · 4 months

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I know I'm posting a day late here, but Happy Birthday Bendy! February 10th, 2024 marks the 7 year anniversary of when Bendy and the Ink Machine came out. And boy, has it been a wild ride. Normally I would reserve this for my Bendy sideblog, @angelofthepage , but I'm posting it here because this is where I started years ago, and I want some of those people who don't see that blog to have a chance to see this. Because you guys are a part of this story.

In about three months, seven years ago, I was in finals hell, working through my process book for my packaging design class in one of the dorm lounges while my roommate had taken the room for herself again. And the only thing keeping me sane was putting Can't Be Erased and Build Our Machine on loop as I worked. BATIM only had two chapters out, and I didn't know everything about it, but I was so intrigued by what its deal was. I took one look at Sammy Lawrence and I wanted to know everything about him. Something about this barely started game, the idea of your characters coming to life to kill you, it thrilled me, intrigued me. It was something I was really afraid of, being so attached to my characters and putting so much of my identity in my art. And while the story isn't really all that much about cartoons themselves being alive, it gave me something else that ended up changing my life.

Over that summer, I would become obsessed, and for the first time in years, I let myself be a fangirl again. And maybe one day I'll pull up the timeline and tell you how it all went down. But right now, after all the celebrating of yesterday, I just wanna take a moment to appreciate the last seven years. All the people I've met, all the friends I've made. All the experiences we've had together, big and small. Some have been incredibly close, and others have been people I still smile about whenever I see them on my feed, even if we're not all doing stuff in the same fandom anymore. There's some people I've fallen out of touch with that I likely won't ever see again that I miss. There's some I'll be lucky if I never see again. There's the official voice actors for Dark Revival, which I've had the pleasure of working with on community things here in the fandom. I regularly moderate their livestreams (or Lovestreams as we call them) where they sign prints and interact with us fans (and sometimes I'm tech support, once an ink machine technician, always an ink machine technician xD). I'm honored to call a lot of them my friends, we've had some truly wonderful conversations. I've spent a lot of time in a variety of servers, trying to uplift people and make for a positive fandom experience for everyone, fans old and new. Sometimes it lands me in interesting places, like helping out over on the Inky News channel. The host, Brandon, invited me over to guest star on his anniversary stream yesterday, and in the past I've been fortunate enough to showcase my art on two of his interviews, one with Dave Rivas and one with Adrienne Kress. Sometimes it lands me on fun projects, like working on a fan game, and for the first time it's not as a voice actor! I'm a writer. I've had my work uplifted in turn too, meeting people who value me for me and also cheer me on when I try new things (sometimes entirely new mediums like doll customizing). I got my first helpful constructive critique in this fandom, and it was something I ASKED for. That is a huge personal milestone! I have a really complex and twisty set of feelings about critique, and finally, I feel better, because someone helped me start to unravel that just by being themselves and being thoughtful. It's inspired me to want to be better in how I handle critique and problem solving with others.

I spent so much of my life putting my self worth in other people's hands. I thought I would never be good enough to have friends who didn't treat me like garbage. I thought I'd never be a good artist in any sense of the word either. But I was wrong. I've grown. I'm valued, I'm wanted. I don't have to hide parts of myself to be desirable. Sometimes being the silly, goofy, fangirl that is Kat is enough. My art is enough, my ideas are enough, my flavor is tasty, and I am a goddamn treat. And after so many years of not knowing that, I'm glad I finally do. And it's all because of the people. It wasn't ever that my flavor was bad, it's that I hadn't found people with a taste for it yet. Bendy's greatest gift was giving me a fresh start, a chance to meet new people, good people, and for that, I'm forever grateful. Even though things have changed, I'm glad I met each and every one of you, you all taught me something valuable along the way, and I think about those experiences we shared often.

I won't lie to you, I've been rather frustrated with Bendy lately. And I think a lot of it has to do with the games not truly having grown with me. At some point our paths deviated, and there are elements of what's come and what's coming that are getting away from what really enticed me about the very first entry, the things I valued most in it. But in some ways, analyzing that has led me to figure out what made that first game so special. It was human. It was a character focused game, and each of the characters, while vague, gave us just enough about themselves that we could feel for them, get invested, imagine, maybe even sympathize. Everyone is a tragedy, but they're all different flavors of tragedy. And it was seeing people explore that, seeing people write these characters in ways that were so human, that really built a connection. For some people, Bendy is another indie horror experience. For others, it's something to indulge in that hits hard on a personal level. In many ways, it attracts a lot of us who feel like misfits. It's many things. But to me, the magic was in the people. The people in this universe, and the people in its real world community.

It has solidified my belief that people should play with fiction however they want, no matter how far it deviates from the canon, no matter how weird it is. Go be interpretive, go tell your story, go be free to make what speaks to you! (All I ask is that you're thoughtful about tagging it so people can make smart choices about engaging with it.) All stories are worth telling. Even if no one gets into it, having told it makes a difference.

Whether you're someone who's been there from the beginning, or someone that's new to Bendy, I hope you're all having fun. Whether you've finished exploring the world or you've just begun, I hope you've found something valuable. Thank you, for coming along for the ride. Here's to many more fun experiences and stories, be they official or be they in the fandom. Happy Bendyversary!

#long post #bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendyversary #personal thoughts #bendy

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hamofjustice · 1 month

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Julinemo Week, Day 3: Study Session

(This could probably be better but this week is an exercise in just posting without being a perfectionist and I wanna go to bed, so)

The late afternoon breeze streaming through Nemona's window kept her room smelling as fresh and alive as a new adventure, as she and her favorite guest did something quite a bit less exciting: reviewing their Battle Studies homework.

Nemona was on her bed, leaving just enough space for her napping Pawmot, while Juliana and her Gardevoir were down on the plush green rug she'd picked out for Nemona the previous week (which Nemona insisted on paying for). The Battle Frontier Channel was on the big TV as familiar background noise, though Gardevoir at least seemed more interested in looking up at that than the open books.

"Uhhh… question nine… 'Which kind of Terrain protects from ailments instead of powering up attacks?'" Juliana read out.

"Oh, um… Misty Terrain! I was just thinking about that one. It might help you remember that one's different 'cause it's not called Fairy Terrain."

"Oh yeah, huh. Good point."

"It's not teeechnically correct to say it's the only one that does that, 'cause, like, Electric Terrain keeps you awake, and Misty Terrain does power up Terrain Pulse and Misty Explosion, but… I think you can safely ignore those since there's no 'none of the above' options… right?"

"Uh… nope, there's not. Wow, Mona… you know more than these books do, huh? Hehehe…"

"Heh. Nah, they're probably just tryin' to keep it simple. I've never used Misty Explosion in my life!"

"Oh. Well, I appreciate trying to keep it simple, 'cause some of these things have so many arbitrary little details to remember…"

"I know, right? I guess it's not like anybody sat down and designed 'em all elegantly like a video game, though." Nemona pointed out, before starting to tap her pencil eraser to her chin and then her temple as she looked up at the ceiling. "I wonder if Misty Explosion might be decent BECAUSE no one expects it…"

"Maybe? Mmm, I dunno…"

"I've actually gotta figure that out soon. When you get into Advanced Battle Studies like me, you'll have to--"

"IF I get into Advan--"

"WHENNN you get in, 'cause you're smart and cool and attr-- attentive, and a Champion like me, and have me helping youuu…" Nemona insisted, briefly pointing her eraser down at Juliana as if it were a threat. Pawmot kept sleeping, fully accustomed to its Trainer's volume. "… You've gotta make theme teams for all these field conditions! It's kinda fun, but… I dunno how good some of these would be. They start ya off easy with Rain, but… hmm…"

"Oh, is that what you're working on up there?"

"Eh, sorta. I've got the Psychic Terrain one for this week figured out ahead of schedule, so I'm getting started on the Misty Terrain one now."

"So you could just… not be doing homework right now, if you wanted?" Juliana prodded.

"I mean… I guess, but then I'd probably just be bored and houndin' you to go out with me. Uh, f-for battles and stuff."

"Mmm. Yeah, probably. Well… thanks for matching my pace, then."

"Always."

"Hehe… "

They both smiled at each other for a bit before getting back to work. Each of them sighed happily and gave their partner Pokemon some petting. But eventually…

"Uh… I'll be right back. Gotta use the bathroom." Juliana quietly announced.

"Mmmkay. Be my guest."

Nemona looked up from the page and gazed off into space as Juliana stepped out, but then…

"Hey, Gardevoir." she whispered.

"Devoira…?" Juliana's companion answered sleepily, turning its head up to Nemona.

"Can you… show me how Juliana feels about me?"

"Garde." the Embrace Pokemon said with a nod. It rolled its neck a bit before scooting a bit closer and reaching out to Nemona with its green hand.

"Ooh, are we gonna do a mind meld? Heh…"

Almost as soon as she took its hand, Nemona's eyes shut and brows shot up like she'd once again misread a teaspoon of Spicy Herba Mystica as a tablespoon. After a few moments, however, she seemed to become accustomed to whatever had been put in front of her mind's eye. Her expression became one of curious awe, then wholesome warmth, then giddy delight as she wiggled her feet happily behind her. She opened her eyes back up as the emotional transmission ended, needing a moment to refocus on reality. "Oh… oh man… th-thanks bud. I, uh… huh…"

"De gara, devoira."

Juliana came back into the room to find Nemona blushing and giggling, and immediately looked down at herself to try and find a reason for it, to no avail.

"Hehehehe… Hey, I think I might be moving down to the floor with you, actually." Nemona decided, picking up her book.

#julinemo #juliana pokemon #nemona pokemon #nemona #julinemoweek #pokemon sv #pokemon scarlet and violet #nemonaposting #hamfiction #julinemoweek2024

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being-of-rain · 6 months

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I thought I'd continue my usual trend of writing my thoughts down on new Doctor Who episodes, by talking about The Star Beast. As usual, I set out to write something quick and concise, but the Wrarth Warriors busted down my door and told me that I legally couldn't.

Apparently I still have the impulse to describe Doctor Who episodes as 'fun', but by and large it's a fun show! And a fun episode! Even if I'm not as obsessed with him as a lot of fans, RTD has a charm which it's hard not to enjoy, especially with lots of little jokes and bits of physical comedy (I love little bits of physical comedy). And it's a funny episode, I was laughing from the moment the Doctor picked up a box, saw Donna, and put the box back again. Well that's not true, I was laughing from the moment I saw David Tennant just standing in green screen space like he was about to tell me the exciting new direction he intended to take the company. I'm glad everyone else seems to find that as funny as I did.

Another word I could use to describe the episode is a bit surreal. Having Beep the Meep and the Wrarth Warriors on screen was a little surreal, but strangely I found it even more so that the Doctor was walking around not knowing who Beep the Meep was. I mean obviously that was always going to be the case, but all Doctor Who mediums just live together inside my head and it was just weird to see him not recognise an iconic enemy. Maybe that was just me. Oh but Beep and the Warriors looked fantastic! It's hard to believe they're all physical effects! I really wasn't too interested in the UNIT gunfight that didn't really do much for the story, but if the new big budget lets aliens look that good then I'm fine with it. Other slightly surreal or strange things involved finally watching Doctor Who again after more than a year's break, watching it on Disney Plus rather than Australia's ABC channel, and seeing Ruth Madeley on-screen as UNIT's scientific advisor when she's also playing a companion of the Sixth Doctor in the audios at the moment.

Oh and, of course, having the Tenth Doctor and Donna back on-screen, and the TV show doing what fanfiction writers have been doing for 15 years. That was really surreal. I definitely like the two of them, but I don't have the same rampant nostalgia for their time on the show like lots of people do. I'm glad lots of people are enjoying the nostalgia aspect, but I'm also glad this is a mini-series rather than a full one. And already there's some aspects back of RTD's writing which I'm not super fond of- like conclusions that try to use technobabble and music-swelling emotional moments to smooth over the fact that some things are just happening without much cause or set-up. RTD's usually pretty good at that too- that's how the whole DoctorDonna thing started in the first place, after all- so Donna and Rose just 'letting go' of the metacrisis did feel like it fell unusually flat. Especially with it being paired with a 'women are better than men' moment which felt more like something from a Moffat script (I say this as a fan of both these writers).

Okay, that was just me trying to get all of my negatives out of the way! On the flip side, Rose inheriting the metacrisis and saving the day was a wonderful revelation, and I love that daughter/mother and loving family relationships were so important on the whole. Seeing Sylvia stumble with pronouns but still try was so lovely, as was Donna being so aggressively supportive of her daughter. And Shaun was a small role but so hilarious.

The chat outside the Tardis was great too, with Shaun dunking on the Doctor, and Donna being genre-savvy enough to stop her daughter getting into the Tardis but not enough to save herself. The new Tardis itself was a little empty to me (I'll always prefer more homely interiors) but was still extremely cool. All I want is for the show to come up with excuses for creative ways to use the mood lights. And I couldn't imagine a better ending to the episode than the console exploding because Donna spilt coffee on it, 10/10 no notes.

I know basically nothing about the next episode, and it seems that's the case for most people, so I'm terribly excited about it! It seems potentially scary spooky 👀 I'm so here for that

#my thoughts #As usual I'm dumping all my thoughts here!#donna #ten #rose noble #beep

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humanmorph · 6 months

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pal33. i kind of just wanted to post a drawing but ended up writing a ton somehow...

I didn't take a ton of notes for this. I think it's mostly because it's so cold lately I don't feel like taking my hands out of my pockets, and also I'm not great at typing while walking so I'd have to stop, which, cold again!

Keith talking about how ruminating /calms Eclectic down/ made me grasp my head. Like in disbelief. I went HUH?! out loud. I still haven't quite pinned down the exact emotion that was brought forth by, but I think it was partly a kind of the feeling that I was actively being catered to when I wasn't expecting that OR even wanted it like. I already liked the guy. This was unnecessary. And the other part was that I love it. Absolutely obsessed with this flavour of weirdguy-ism. It's so good in a... Hm. Ok I'm having Eclectic thoughts that I'll hold onto for now, but like. "good to have a character sketch" yeah it sure is!

...and here are a bunch of other Eclectic thoughts that aren't the ones I just mentioned. i did not even expect to type all this when i started

(SANGFIELLE SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH? sorry.) It IS kind of strange to have a new character coming in this late w/ how close the Blue Channel crew is... I've noted before that it's like, different to other FatT seasons were everyone is just so coworkers ever (Sangfielle being the epitome of that. To Me. "[...] and it is you standing over the body of someone you used to work with." BANGER line). Even Phrygian was weird, but in a way that fit because of who they were. What also plays into this is noone except Figure really having space for gravity clocks. Which like... obviously characters can have relationships without those, but there's a reason they exist which is like, this is so important that it has mechanical advantage, or this is something I want to explore, like that means something? And I still wish Phrygian had had more, because the one with Figure didn't even end up coming up like, basically at all. It's a shame Brnine was so popular re: clocks bc those two could've really benefitted from a gravity clock, since they were together on missions a lot with the B-Plot thing. Well and also I liked them. Sigh ok I got sidetracked. Phrygian... But yeah, it may just be that this sortie is exterbating it bc Eclectic is literally by himself fucking around disconnected from everyone going through the horrors together (and that's bonding, baby!). I don't know how much longer the season will be, and maybe the feeling I currently have, which is like "it's the Blue Channel! ...and that other guy" will change. And like if it wasn't clear I do love that other guy I think that other guy is the most immediately compelling character Keith has had (similarly to Phrygian, actually. With Phrydge it was the concept & design that really excited me (Branched!!!) and with Eclectic it's that he's literally so funny and also Keith acts him great)! And he JUST got here, so I don't wanna be unfair. But it's been kicking around in my head & I wanted to write it down at least. It's like, would /I/ like his character to have a deeper connection to the rest of the player characters? Yeah generally I guess I would. Does Keith gaf about that as a player? I don't know that, but it's probably less of an impulse for him than, say, Ali. That would be my guess as a listener, anyways. And I hope Keith is having a better time playing now! It feels like it, but then again I also had no clue that he /didn't/ with Phrygian until he said it. (Still miss Phrygian though. Which is in combat with me being actually really happy with how they end up, like it might be the most a character 'death' on FatT has worked for me (not that there are /that/ many, but still).)

Back to. the episode: Good ep! I don't have all that much to say (OK. LIE). Just a thoroughly good time in a bunch of different ways. Love the singular character focus. Also just really Fun, like, made me laugh a lot. Fun interactions between good friends and whatnot. A bit that made me laugh was at the end when Ali was trying to figure out how to be find a way through the catacombs and suggests something that Austin has this "what?? no. thats scary." reaction to. Wait I'll just get it:

ALI: [talking about navigating the catacombs] And does it involve going through one of these body holes. AUSTIN: (genuinely aghast) Oh my god! ALI: Like, are there other tunnels. AUSTIN: There are other tunnels but you never have to go through a body hole- well, I shouldn't say never. That's SO creepy.

Which then gets the very great visual of Brnine doing that. Like it IS creepy and person having to crawl through tight space IS a thing that just gets me, even though it doesn't really get focus here I can't help but immediately picturing it... I was also for some reason expecting for there to be another body blocking the way... I've said this before and then was immediately like haha jk but I'm over it I will stop pretending I'm NOT kidding. I want Figure to roll worse. I miss Gur. Can you Fail Figure? I miss my friend Gur Sevraq. It's a thin line between that and Figure dying though (I DON'T WANT THIS. Because I want them to go further as a character but also, (thought I had only recently) what happens to my friend. Name of Gur Sevraq?). Anyways Gur... "This is false. But not all false things are impossible. And many have happened before." and "This is a thing that has already happened. She has seen it." <- has me sitting down and stapling my fingers. The. Perennial. Perennial

I don't have anything to say about Brnine aside from that I love them and that Ali is on her A-game. "Brnine is. Brnine and killed the president but is still a goofy loser" like. Ok. That's everything to me

The differences in, say, Thisbe's dream vision vs. Figures is interesting. And Cori falls somewhere in the middle? Like, Figure catching on really quickly, and also being in this situation of... all their friends are dead. People fear them. Being so immediately one that they are uncomfortable in & that feels somewhat alien vs. Thisbe being in a role that she envisions for herself and as such presumably feels comfortable in? Austin seems to be playing at the hooks with the visions (& they are what got immediately affected when they entered those), and for Figure it's probably "The only way to escape the Witch is by endangering others, but they seem eager to accept the risk." that feels the most relevant there? Maybe the Witch part less so, but least Austin mentioning that Cori specifically sacrificed herself to save Figure reminded me of this just now. For Thisbe it's "Fighting is not my purpose, but there is nowhere else for me until the fighting is over.", which I already talked a bit about above, though what's super interesting to me there is that this is obviously not all that's happening. I don't quite know what to do with there being More of Thisbe / units of her type... Or how she feels about that, if any which way. Cori's is interesting too because next to her sword + shield tenets being pulled in (specifically mentioning that they should be on the defense multiple times, which Cori ignores to charge ahead!) it's also the sense of her not wanting to be... underestimated or looked down on. Which is very much the vibe with Elle as a rival btw (it's fun. I'm happy Austin is having a good time with them lol). Oh! Also Austin says something about how it would've gone bad either way (even if Cori HAD stayed back to defend), which is another difference to both of the others visions, but expecially Thisbe's. Vibes just different. Well I'm curious what'll happen there next! Brnine is coming to visit! I didn't even mean to type this much but this really is very cool to me. I'm looping back around to what Gur said, too... Wish they were here...

Oh and Cori being glad to see Figure & hugging them really got to me too. They're sweet :' ).

and finally.

#MILLIEMENTION

I'm a simple woman I hear her name and I clap and cheer. originally this drawing was at the top but then I was like nah this is for people who either read everything OR clicked the readmore to then scroll past it... either way. work for it a little. i liked how it turned out! this is currently my new favourite brush.

#palisadeposting #palisade spoilers

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permanently-changing · 2 months

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what do you like about tumblr so much?

at a base level - pretty pictures, yearny text posts, and moots in the notes makes my dopamine machine go brrr...

The answer to that changes, or has changed over the years. 201X (idr what year I started the past iteration of this blog...2013?) PC is different than 2024 P-C.

In some sense it is the community, argue about that in my DMs if you want but there is some of that here. When you see the beloved and say hiiii, or therapy moot comes on and likes/RB the shit out of you, hot dog moot drops a 🌭 meme in your DMs (yes, I have a 🌭 moot, no I don't need anyone else sending me 🌭 memes, the 🌭 thing went as far as it needed to.) I don't follow a lot of people and I don't talk to most of you, but I like seeing what you post and what your vibe is, and that ❤️ on your personal post means we care about you and what you got going on. IDK that this place would be what it is if we could only RB??

There's a post (there is ALWAYS a post) that is something like "...maybe we're all just saying this is how feel about this, do you also feel that way..." And I love that, whether it is just sharing shitposts, or the Beastie Boys, or ducks, or something heartfelt and personal. We in some ways just want to see who else feels that way. You know? The anonymity of this place changes the dynamic compared to other social channels and I love that about this place.

We all grow and change and there is a part of this hellsite that I attribute to that in my life. I understand my kinks better. I see and appreciate new art. I learn things about other people and cultures. I am a different person because of some of you. Yes I could probably have done that elsewhere (and I do, tbc) but the fact is I also did it here.

Without attributing TOO much weight to this, there is an creative expression aspect of this place and a meditative quality to scrolling (for me, ymmv as we all use this space differently). We aren't Picasso up in here, but to some extent we express ourselves in different ways with text posts that we write (over the years I've had a private blog that I write on), images we like/RB/Upload, etc. And (again, for me) sometimes I want to shut my brain down and just scroll pretty pics and hit the like/RB button. I joke that it is a spiritual practice.

But what about the NSFW posts/blogs??? I've had an active NSFW on here the whole time I've had "this" account. Originally I was more into those as sexual/horny posts but really titposts are just shitposts or aesthetic blogs with bewbies and dicks in them. They're just posts, tbh a good yearning/longing post will fuck you up more than a nsfwpost.

I could probably go on about this beloved hellsite but I'll stop for now. I appreciate the question, I assume it was sparked by my somewhat "truth in jest" response to the asks the other day (I'll love you if...you understand and appreciate my relationship with Tumblr).

Thanks, Anon.

also, like all good tumblrinas, I think about deactivating and leaving *almost* every damn day, lol

#anons welcome #:

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chillychive · 2 years

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A little Sprolden for y'all

Michael:

"I'm a little bit in love with everyone I meet, but I think that's normal."

She's giving me this look like "that was bullshit but I couldn't care less.", and then contradicts her own look by asking- no, stating "So you're bisexual."

I grin and lean closer. What I said was true. There's a little something to love in everyone. Some people have a little more than others. Victoria was blessed with so many things to love about her. It's truly remarkable that she still manages to hate herself when she looks in the mirror. God, if she could channel that into something other than being a chronic pessimist or trying to decide my sexuality for me- "You love all these words, don't you? Gay, bisexual, attractive, unattractive-

"No, No I hate them."

"Then why label people?"

Victoria tilts her head at me. She looks miffed. Actually, I'm pretty sure her face always looks fairly bored or sad (I think she doesn't realize quite how often she looks like someone killed her puppy, and I'm not going to tell her.), but I think she's started to get annoyed. I'm still leaning across the table, but I'm trying rather hard not to think about how close I am to her. "Because that's life. Without organization, we descend into chaos."

I can't help myself. I chuckle, leaning back. Chaos can be far more fun. "Well if you care so much, what are you?"

"What?"

"What are you? Gay, straight, all-around horny, what?"

"Er, straight?" She says it like this is the default option- like she hadn't ever thought about it until this moment. I'm pretty sure I didn't even come with a default setting. I'm pretty sure the defaults took one look at me and went running. I don't care. I like it better this way anyway.

I decide to push my luck. "And are you sure you're straight? Have you liked a boy before?"

She blinks at me, then looks at the floor. I'm almost worried, but she says "All right, then. I'll let you know if I fall in love with a girl anytime soon."

I smile. I can't help myself. It's truly, truly beautiful that this girl can coax so much happiness out of me. Most people would think I'm always happy, the way I go around smiling and looking like I'm living my best life. But I'm not. I'm angry so much of the time. The world is in shambles and everyone just ignores it. Sometimes you have to put on a normal face and be normal even when you don't feel very normal at all. But she just makes me happy. I don't even have to try. What a funny thing. What a beautiful thing.

"Are you going to remember what you came to tell me?" Victoria asks, interrupting my musing. She says it like she doesn't care, but I know she does. Victoria Spring is the type of person that cares about everything and everyone, but she builds up walls to keep her heart safe. I think she's built so many she's forgotten where in the maze she hid her heart in the first place. But I'll offer her a mental hint: it's not as deep as you think it is...

"Maybe." I say. "Maybe tomorrow. We'll see."

I'm lying, of course. But Lucas Ryan is paying far too much attention to our conversation that truly should not be his business, and I don't feel like telling the boy who obviously has a crush on Victoria (he's as subtle as a blimp with the words "I'm in love with you Victoria Spring" landing in her backyard- it is truly remarkable that she doesn't see it) what I came here to tell her.

I walk her home. I learn two things:

She hates her name. Everyone calls her Tori. I understand that.

She does not understand why I would want to be friends with her. I'm not sure why she can't understand that people could genuinely like her. I'm also not sure I genuinely like her, but I think she has a lot of very likeable qualities- again, truly a miracle she doesn't have more friends.

So many things are truly remarkable about this girl. And remarkable is a truly fascinating word- something worth taking note of again and again. Tori Spring is certainly worth taking note of, again and again and again and as many times as needed to convince her that she truly is remarkable.

Michael:

Tori & I are going to get married some day. Since she's the first one I'd want to be with me in the A&E, and I come 2nd on her list after Charlie, and we can't do that legally unless we're married. Also because we're in love. But that's not much of a reason- we'd still be as in love if we were partners forever- it's mostly just practicality.

I think part of it's also just wanting her grandparents to stop bugging her about 'settling down' and 'finding a nice man' and 'what about that Michael lad?'. I don't blame her. When Tori invited me to Spring Thanksgiving (she was going to flee to my place anyway-her words not mine), her nan kept asking me when the wedding was and her Grandfather kept dropping me not-so-subtle threats of murder if I did anything...unsavory with her. I'm not sure how he feels about kissing on top of a burning building after she nearly jumped to her death, but I somehow don't think he'd approve.

Tori:

Michael grins that ridiculous grin of his as he skates off the ice toward me. He's glowing. I love seeing him like this- riding the post race high. With the cameras still trained on him, he takes me in his arms, and kisses me. His skin is cold from the ice but his breath is hot on my lips.

16 year old me would be fake-gagging at those thoughts. I mentally cringe for her, but I'm laughing a little as Michael pulls away and raises an arm for the cameras, me still tucked under his other arm. I tug on a smile for the cameras, and I pinch him lightly. He squeezes me back.

Then he turns to his bags and pulls out a box. It's small, white, and when he lifts the lid there's an even tinier, blue, box. I gasp, shaking my head at him as subtly as I can manage.

I try to say, not here! with my eyes, but he just grins that stupidly handsome grin that makes me kind of want to punch him and kind of want to kiss him. It's not like we haven't discussed this, I even agreed. But here?? Now??

Michael starts to bend down and before I know it...

Michael Holden is on one knee in the middle of this skating rink, with all the cameras a former Olympian usually garners trained on the little blue box with the tiny bow on top in his outstretched hand and the other hand poised to open it. And who's he doing this for? That's right, Victoria Annabel Spring, also known as me.

"Victoria Spring, Tori. I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you." Bullshit- we both know it. But the cameras are eating it up. "Our first kiss was like fire in my soul." No, dear, that was literal fire. "You once dressed up for your best friend's birthday party, and the character you chose was just as wonderful and perfect as you." I am trying so hard not to laugh. "I feel a little bit more like myself when I'm with you, you make me laugh a little harder and smile a little brighter in every moment." I'm blushing now, and it makes me want to vomit a little.

"Tori Spring, will you do me the honor of making me your husband?" He opens the box. And then Michael meets me eyes and his eyes aren't full of all the love in the world like they always say. His eyes aren't gleaming and not a tear is streaming down his face. He's laughing. A little. His eyes are laughing. And I think for a moment that I should be angry at him, but then I'm painfully aware of how long I've let this silence go on.

I fall into him, and at first I think he's surprised but his strong arms are coming up around me and he's standing up. "Yes!" I say, loud enough for the cameras to hear me. "Yes." I whisper again, for his ears only.

"Yes." Michael whispers into my ear.

Yes, I think. Yes.

And then Michael leans into me and whispers, his breath hot on my ear "Tori- the ring is made of cake. We can eat it later, if you like, and then go find ourselves the perfect rings."

I pull away to look at him. I want to be amused but I'm confused and honestly feeling a little high off all of this. I just settle for kissing him.

When we finally pull away, there are cameras and packing up and Michael getting out of that ridiculous skin suit- I swear to God that's going to be in all the photo albums now, that little shit. God, I love him.

And then we're walking along the path to our car, and I lean into him. "Explain to me how the ring-is-cake." I demand.

"I had a guy make a fake wedding ring already in the box out of chocolate. That way we can still have the adorable photos for your family and our own, stress free proposal later. On our terms." Michael isn't looking at me and I think he's worried I'm mad at him. I squeeze his hand and pull him down to look me in the eyes.

"Thank you." I kiss him. How did I end up with a man who would make a fake ring out of cake to fake a proposal in front of cameras so that we had pictures for my relatives? Or- more importantly, how did I end up with someone so wonderfully strange. God, I love him. And I tell him that. And I keep saying it, again and again and again. I'll keep saying it as we pick out our wedding bands and as we promise ourselves to each other till death do we part and I'll keep saying it until the world stops spinning.

"We're both a little broken. We're both a little messy. Who am I kidding- we're both a lot broken and a lot messy. Love won't fix that. A wedding won't fix that. But maybe being together and being broken and messy is easier than being alone and messy." Michael's rambling now and the only thought in my mind is:

God, I love this ridiculous man. Michael.

It's funny because it's true.

#sprolden #michael x tori #tori spring #michael holden #solitaire #alice oseman #solitaire alice oseman #victoria spring #proposal #fake proposal #alternate pov

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apocalypticavolition · 11 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World: Prologue

I haven't reread the whole of the series ever (my last reread was in preparation for the finale), so with the books getting more popular and the show simultaneously entertaining me and getting my goat I figured I'd jump onto the bandwagon and maybe get some validation from internet strangers. As the title states, this is a reread, so I will be spoilering the hell out of everything, so if you're a show only fan or still working your way through the books, please run away screaming (but tell your friends!).

...

Okay now that I can no longer hear any screams, let's get into things. I first started reading The Wheel of Time in 2003 in middle school, catching up in time to read New Spring when it debuted and the subsequent novels after (except oddly, Towers of Midnight, which I didn't get around to until the finale was right around the corner, so I guess my longest reread only goes up to book 12 technically). It's probably my outright favorite fantasy world and has a lot of characters I love - in fact, at times I feel I don't quite fit into the fandom because I don't have an irrational disdain of any of the common hate sinks bar maybe Gawyn, and even then some people are making me like him a little bit more so I don't know what I'm going to do then.

That said, like most readers who came of age in the 21st century, I do have a lot of problems with Jordan's worldview. It's a rather interesting friction: the man was definitely trying to write a world without the sexism of our modern era (and to a lesser extent other prejudices as well), and yet he could never rise above them himself. I'll probably spend a lot of time talking about this kind of stuff and what might have been done instead.

Likewise, when we reach the inevitable Slog (and sorry people who didn't start reading until the series was finished, it's real), I'll be talking a lot about how the plot might be adjusted for brevity and, once we reach the Sanderson era virtually everything I want to talk about will be magnified tenfold because as much as I enjoyed his efforts at the time, I've greatly soured on him as an author in general and as Jordan's heir in specific since.

But for now, let's focus on what's important: The Eye of the World's first prologue: Dragonmount.

The palace still shook occasionally as the earth rumbled in memory, groaned as if it would deny what had happened.

As first sentences go, I'm not in love. It's not bad, but it's just a little too vague; "the palace" doesn't really give my mind's eye much to work with because they can vary so much depending on when and where they were built. It ends well though.

The dead lay everywhere, men and women and children, struck down in attempted flight by the lightnings that had flashed down every corridor, or seized by the fires that had stalked them, or sunken into stone of the palace, the stones that had flowed and sought, almost alive, before stillness came again.

Despite its length, a sentence like this would work better to me as the start. It's shocking and terrifying; this is a level of violence we won't see channelers pull off until much later in the series.

The mind-twisting had struck at the core, ignoring peripheral things.

This feels pretty on-theme for the story, really. The Shadow tries to subvert the major powers of the world but its defeat is primarily orchestrated by a bunch of farmers.

The edge of his pale gray cloak trailed through blood as he stepped across the body of a woman, her golden-haired beauty marred by the horror of her last moments, her still-open eyes frozen in disbelief.

Well I made it four quotations before we needed to talk about feminism so that's... more than I expected, really. Meet Ilyena, a character so posthumous that despite being part of a prologue 3,500 years before the main story she's still already dead by the time it starts! Obsessing over dead women is probably one of the biggest complaints this series gets and boy does it deserve it. Despite electricity being long gone, our characters have no shortage of fridges.

That said, I do want to note that as it stands in this book, things aren't that bad. In this book. See, in this book, Ilyena isn't the only victim - the children she and Lews had are also among the dead, as are quite a lot of other people who just happened to live or work in the palace or were visiting. Except for the use of LTT's title "Kinslayer", none of them will be mentioned again after this book - in fact, the non-family members are completely forgotten after the prologue. But again, that's jumping ahead. In this book, Ilyena is about providing a specific name and face to the tragedy, humanizing all of the victims by proxy in a way that, "Twelve hours after saving the world, Lews Therin went insane and killed two hundred and sixty-five people including all of his blood relatives," does not.

...brought by merchants from across the World Sea...

We talk a lot about how Jordan was too immersed in southern culture to understand how its gender roles were about as universal as Mongolian throat singing, but not enough about how he's too immersed in globalized petro-fascist markets based on maximizing inefficiencies for the global elite to use to extract wealth to understand why a real planetary utopia living in harmony with nature wouldn't be shipping luxury goods across the ocean when there's perfectly fancy fabrics to make at home and anyway the Green Men should be able to help silkworms thrive anywhere if you're that desperate for something breathable.

On the other hand, points to him for not going crazy about Gateways and assuming that all global trade could be handled by teleportation just because they're a fun tool. I will have a lot to say about Gateways as we approach the authorial transition.

For a moment he fingered the symbol on his cloak, a circle half white and half black, the colors separated by a sinuous line. It meant something, that symbol.

Even now though, it means something other than what it once meant (being the sign of the seals on the Dark One's prison) and before too much longer it will pick up two more meanings, one for each half. The Wheel turns and the world changes.

Behind him the air rippled, shimmered, solidified into a man who looked around, his mouth twisting briefly with distaste.

Props to Ishamael for clearly Traveling with the True Power even this early on in the series.

Not so tall as Lews Therin, he was clothed all in black, save for the snow-white lace at his throat and the silverwork on the turned-down tops of his thigh-high boots.

Thigh-high boots! <3 (Seriously Ishy how can you want to destroy the world you can express your fashion sense in?)

Also note how this contrasts the Aes Sedai symbol described earlier. There's a little bit of white though, because it can't be helped even by the Shadow.

It will soon be time for the Singing, and here all are welcome to take part.

One detail from the Sanderson novels whose origin I'm uncertain of but like regardless of who came up with it is Rand's claim that the AoL was NOT paradise and that it was rotting from within even before the Dark One got involved. The latter half of this sentence suggests one such flaw: having the Voice is a hell of a talent, but apparently there were places that did not welcome all potential Singers. This could just be a result of the War, but maybe it speaks to something deeper.

“Shai’tan take you, does the taint already have you so far in its grip?”

Ish here is mostly pissed that he doesn't get to enjoy his gloating, because for all his talk about nihilism, he is petty first and foremost.

Dangerous for you, fool, not for me.

Ironically, all things considered it's really the other way around - Shai'tan is no threat at all to the Dragon soul and will utterly ruin Ish by the end. Ish really isn't anywhere near as clever as he makes himself out to be, he just looks smart because he's the last survivor of Academia.

“So you do remember some things. Yes, Betrayer of Hope. So have men named me, just as they named you Dragon, but unlike you I embrace the name.

This is an odd detail, all things considered. LTT's fatal flaw was pride (this very prologue says as much), so why wouldn't he be proud of a flattering name? I wonder if we get any more details on this in the books or if it's just a little detail that was lost in the shuffle.

But it is not enough. You humbled me in the Hall of Servants. You defeated me at the Gates of Paaran Disen. But I am the greater, now. I will not let you die without knowing that. When you die, your last thought will be the full knowledge of your defeat, of how complete and utter it is. If I let you die at all

See what I mean about Ish? This is not the behavior of someone who is tired of existence and wants everything to end, it's the behavior of a dude with a petty grudge that he dresses up in fancy terms and fancier boots.

[Ilyena] will give me the rough side of her tongue if she thinks I have been hiding a guest from her. I hope you enjoy conversation, for she surely does. Be forewarned. Ilyena will ask you so many questions you may end up telling her everything you know.

Quick, name a female WoT character that Jordan doesn't think this description applies to! Can it be done? I doubt it. Another common criticism is that for all of his 3,000 characters, all of the women were just his wife. I don't think it's quite true, but I do think that the women he knew well were all cut from pretty much the same cloth.

“A pity for you,” he mused, “that one of your Sisters is not here.

This is another oddity. AoL healing required all five kinds of weaves and they didn't divide things up by gender anyway, so why wouldn't a Brother suffice? There's plenty of male Aes Sedai who haven't gone crazy at this point, and it's been only a couple days at most so you wouldn't think people would have time to reflexively assume men wouldn't be helpful. Is this another kind of healing that works better when you do it cross-gender? Maybe Towers of Midnight mentioned that?

Helplessly he convulsed, thrashing, his skull a sphere of purest agony on the point of bursting.

Good to know that every incarnation of the Dragon suffers horribly for no good reason, I guess. Rand's nihilism is a lot more understandable to me than Ish's is, considering how little suffering the latter actually endures.

“You can have her back, Kinslayer. The Great Lord of the Dark can make her live again, if you will serve him. If you will serve me.”

"Your kids are fucked though. We put their souls in vacuoles and then jettisoned them towards Sindhol, so we can't fix that even if we wanted to. Also you balefired half of them repeatedly, we think. Hard to be sure because there's no record of them left except some silhouettes on that doorway over there."

(More seriously, they're being left out right now because LTT isn't cognizant of their demise, making this the only excusable omission.)

“Ten years your foul master has wracked the world. And now this. I will. . . .”

Plus a whole century of societal collapse, but I guess RJ hadn't come up with that detail yet. Hell at this point maybe Shai'tan was still supposed to be ET's son.

You and I have fought a thousand battles with the turning of the Wheel, a thousand times a thousand, and we will fight until time dies and the Shadow is triumphant!

Ish says this and the fandom as a whole treats it as true but... we don't actually know this! Third Agers often state that they HOPE to be reborn, which suggests that's it's possible the Wheel stops reincarnating some souls (replacing them, presumably) - and who better to retire than the people who stop being grateful for existence and start actively trying to undermine you?

Further, Rand's epiphany is about how despite the crushing cycle of everything, anyone can still hope to live a better life - there's no guarantee that Ishamael falls to the shadow every time, or that he ever has before or will again! Hell, he could just repent even after he falls. Bro has choices, he just refuses to see them.

His own sons and daughters, sprawled like broken dolls, play stilled forever.

This is actually another odd detail. I don't know how Aes Sedai fertility works, but while it's not implausible that LTT & IS could have children who were of the age where their play is the most notable thing about them, they should also have kids old enough to have grandkids by now! Lews' murders could potentially number in the hundreds without starting on the servants and faithful companions.

Also note that while Ilyena's demise horrified LTT and left him with nothing to live for according to the narration, it isn't until he sees that he's killed all of these people he loved that he actually tries to commit suicide. This is the sort of thing that's completely neglected going forward, but it is nice that things were a little more complex than him finding his girlfriend in the fridge and his mom in the oven.

The land around him was flat and empty. A river flowed nearby, straight and broad, but he could sense there were no people within a hundred leagues.

This is a pretty subtle sign of just how much death the last ten years must have entailed: the Erinin is flowing through a temperate part of the planet (there being no indication that the Earth's axis was significantly affected by the Breaking) yet there are no cities nor farms within a hundred leagues. By all rights there should be, but now they're gone. One can see why balefire was banned.

He did not believe it could come, forgiveness. Not for what he had done.

Maybe it's just my own weird moral code speaking but I think stuff one does while literally and entirely involuntarily corrupted by the source of all evil shouldn't really count against them. Obviously he's in shock, but it seems like something that carries on into Rand's behavior as well and it's a little depressing that in a series about free will vs. determinism there's such a common attitude that the stuff you're doomed to do regardless counts against you more than the things you had a choice in.

Because in his pride he had believed that men could match the Creator, could mend what the Creator had made and they had broken. In his pride he had believed.

And he wasn't wrong to believe that, he just did it wrong and doesn't consider that there might be other approaches. Tunnel vision is a real affliction in this series.

Only a heartbeat did the shining bar exist, connecting ground and sky, but even after it vanished the earth yet heaved like the sea in a storm. Molten rock fountained five hundred feet into the air, and the groaning ground rose, thrusting the burning spray ever upward, ever higher.

No denial on the earth's part here, just straight up compliance.

Of Lewis Therin Telamon, no sign remained. Where he had stood a mountain now rose miles into the sky, molten lava still gushing from its broken peak.

Now imagine a million more dudes doing this and you start to see why the Breaking was as destructive as it was.

Then [Ishamael] was gone, and the mountain and the island stood alone. Waiting.

Presumably Ishamael went off and told someone about LTT's suicide before being vacuum sealed for a millennium and change, cuz otherwise there's no way people would know what Dragonmount was.

The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World.

The west, the Waste, Shara, the sea, the Mad Lands, north Seanchan, southwest Seanchan, and southeast Seanchan. There, we've turned what was obviously an odd turn of phrase into a literal statement with all eight items acccounted for!

Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

Well Rand did most of those things, but I don't remember any lambs, so I guess really he lost the war and the whole of the epilogue was a taunting dream the Dark One wove for him to distract him.

(God I hate those kinds of theories. If your assumption is that nothing is true, your theory is dumb and you should feel bad.)

From Charal Drianaan te Calamon,The Cycle of the Dragon.

So a lot of people talk about the conlanging in this setting and I just want to point one thing out: the fact that we go from the Old Tongue in the AoL to this New Tongue in the Fourth Age suggests very, very strongly that Randlanders are not inexplicably speaking English or anything close to it but something in between the two fake Tongues. We have a clear transition from things like "Telamon" and "siswai'aman" to "Calamon" for example, that dragon doesn't really fit into except as a distant ancestor/descendant.

Anyway, that right there is the prologue! I would compare and contrast it to Amazon's adaptation, but I cannot because they have not adapted this sequence yet. It's something of a shame, because I think the prologue is very important for making it clear that we're not actually doing a Tolkien-esque story like the early chapters suggest, but after seeing Winter Dragon I can also sympathize with not wanting to lead with this. That said, I am deeply depressed we couldn't keep Billy Zane and hope against hope that Rafe will find a role for him to be crazy in.

The TV show does do a sequence set in the AoL, but it's closer to being an adaptation of part of The Strike at Shayol Ghul than anything else, so I will hold off until we get there after A Crown of Swords.

#let's read #wheel of time #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #the eye of the world #lews therin telamon #ishamael

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carlyyyyxbishhop · 7 months

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Love me like I haven't changed // Shayne Topp // 4

four // Kate

It was raining the next Saturday. The day was gloomy with dark grey clouds that hung over my head. And yet, I was still on my way to the beach. To be honest, I didn't want to go this particular Saturday. I had just had a fight with my mother about coming home for my birthday and work had been a shit fight all week.

But as I approached the stairs at the top of the beach, I looked down and I saw him. I couldn't help but smile. He was the only reason I had dragged myself out of bed that morning, just to see if he'd come. He had his back to me but I could see he was drenched from the rain, just as I was.

"I didn't think you'd come," I said as I reached him. He turned around, already smiling at me as he did so.

"You said rain, hail or shine," His hair sat flat on his forehead and his face had droplets of rain falling from it.

"If I'm being honest I wasn't going to come today," I started, "But the thought of you possibly standing here waiting for me made me come." He frowned slightly.

"Are you alright? We don't have to swim today if you don't want to." He offered, his face serious.

"No, I'm fine. Honestly, swimming here is even better when it's raining. Let's just hope there's no storm." He held his stern face for a second before letting a small smile creep across his face.

"Only if you're sure," He reasoned. I didn't bother responding, just taking off my jumper as my final answer. He shrugged his shoulders in response and followed suit.

"Are we pretending to be mermaids this week?" He asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Well... are you still scared of the cold?" I replied playfully.

"No I guess not," He threw his shirt onto the pile of clothes I had just made, "But, I'm always down for a race." And with that, he sprinted toward the water. I laughed, following behind as he dove under.

When I came up for air he was already laughing.

"I don't know what it is about you but you make me feel like a kid again." He admitted playfully.

"I'm not afraid to act like a kid," I replied, "I mean I have to be so serious from 9 to 5 Monday to Friday, why not let loose on the weekend." I looked toward him with a smile.

"So I guess I'm a kid 24/7 then." I cocked my head to the side, realising I didn't really know a lot about the guy.

"What do you do for work, might I ask?"

"I'm an internet personality on a YouTube channel." He looked away, as if almost embarrassed to say it.

"Why did you say it like that?" I ask the unfiltered question.

"Like what?"

"Like you're embarrassed or something." He looked back toward me and then away again.

"I don't know... sometimes people have weird reactions when they hear that." He looked back at me and I smiled.

"Seems pretty cool to me," I offered, "I mean I would love to get paid to be silly." He smiled again.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool." He echoed back.

"I-" I began, but paused after a crack of thunder sounded over our heads. Shayne's eyes widened and his smile dropped.

"Shit, do you think it's going to storm?" He asked, looking toward me with worry painted across his face.

"The forecast didn't say anything about a storm," The thunder sounded again, "But maybe we should cut it short, just to be safe." I offered. He nodded in agreement and I followed him back to shore.

As we reached our clothes, the heavens opened and the rain started to pour down. He laughed for a second, and I smiled back.

"Do you walk here?" He asked, raising his voice slightly over the sound of the rain hitting the water nearby.

"Yeah, I don't live far from here."

"I'll drive you home." He said as he picked up his shirt and his keys from underneath, he then reached down and picked up my jumper for me.

"No it's fine, I'm already wet anyway," I reasoned as I pulled my pants up my legs.

"Don't be silly," He started, "Come on my cars just over there." He handed me back my jumper as I pulled my bag over my shoulder.

"Okay," I smiled and followed closely behind him. The rain didn't ease up as we made it to his car. He ran around to the passenger side, opening the door for me.

"Thanks," I said quietly, he probably didn't even hear it over the rain pounding down on the car. I put my bag down on the floor in front of me and grabbed out my phone as he ran around to the drivers side. It sounded silly but I wanted to have some form of communication with me considering I had met this guy 3 times before getting in his car.

He pulled the door closed behind him and turned to look at me, letting out a small laugh.

"My god, we're soaked." He choked out between laughs.

"Sorry about your car seats," I said, "They're gonna be soaking too after this." He turned to grab his seatbelt, I followed.

"Don't be silly, they'll dry." I watched as he put his keys in the ignition, turning on the windscreen wipers.

"Are you cold?" He asked, reaching for the air conditioning controls. I shook my head no, "I'll turn the heat on anyway, just in case." I nodded in response.

"So where am I headed?" He asked, briefly looking down at his phone.

"Here," I put out my hand, "I'll type it into your phone." He looked over and smiled before passing me his phone with the maps app open. I typed in my address and handed the phone back to him.

"Oh, I don't live far from you." He said once he saw the address. I smiled in response, "Do you like the area?" He asked as he put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking spot.

"It's hard to say really," I looked out the window to my right, "I haven't lived there long enough to have an opinion of it." He nodded in agreement.

"I would say, having lived in many parts of LA, it's the nicest area I've ever lived in." He looked over at me with a smile. I watched him relax into his chair as he drove out of the parking lot, he dropped one arm to rest on the car door next to him. He was rather attractive when he was driving.

"That's good to know, I'm glad I chose one of the nicest places to live without having any prior knowledge of it." He chuckled.

"Had you ever been to LA before you moved?" I liked the way he took charge of the conversation, it seemed like he had definitely warmed up to me.

"No," I started, "Without going too far into it, my mother never left the state with me until I was 18 and had my own money to do what I wanted. And even then, I wasn't allowed to go far. My friends and I did a few road trips here and there, but never far." I answered truthfully.

"Did you drive here when you moved?" He asked.

"Yeah, I packed all my belongings into my car and drove by myself." He nodded with furrowed brows.

"Must've been a tough move then."

I sighed, "Yeah for sure." I looked out the windscreen as we neared my street.

"It's just the next left, and then wherever you can stop is good." He nodded, flicking on the indicator.

"So can I trust that you'll be at the beach again next Saturday?" I asked, trying to change the topic of conversation.

"Yeah," He huffed a laugh, "I think so." He looked over to me with a sly smile.

"Perfect," I answered, my hand reaching for the door handle as he slowed the car to a stop, "Well thanks for the lift. I'll see you next week." I looked back to him with a smile that he returned.

"You'll definitely see me next week Kate." We continued smiling to each other as I opened the door and picked up my bag. I turned around once I was out of the car and leaned down to look at him.

"Bye Shayne," His smile widened.

"Bye Kate." And with that, I pushed the door shut and gave him a small wave.

#shayne topp #shayne x reader #smosh imagine #smosh shayne #smosh #shayne topp x reader #shayne topp imagines

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muffinrecord · 5 months

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Updates! YouTube Stuff

Howdy folks! Just a few updates for the youtube channel

Videos Names

Short and quick-- I ended up changing the name of the sprite animation videos into battle animation videos. I was thinking of calling them "Sprite Animations, Magia, and Doppel" but that felt too long.

To be honest, the videos don't get a lot of views or engagement-- which is fine. I think that archiving them is worth it, and I don't think these are the kind of things people will watch over and over? But I do wonder if they're not viewed as much because people might think that they are only sprite attacks and not magia and doppels and stuff. I'm kind of hoping that "Battle Animations" will clear things up, because I don't wanna add the "Magia and Doppels" part to it.

If it doesn't, then I'll leave it as is. It's a little sad if they're lesser viewed but that's fine ultimately.

TO BE CLEAR THIS IS NOT ME BITCHING ABOUT VIEWS, I WOULD STILL DO THIS EVEN IF THEY GOT LIKE 5 VIEWS IN TOTAL. Just, more that I was thinking that maybe I'm not being very clear about what's in them? ANYWAYS

Recordings

So! I've been trying to finish up my animation project so that I can devote my time and energy to other things~

This is how much is left to record! Naturally a lot of the collab girls are kind of. Well it's going to be a bit.

Chisato and Haruka are giving me pause. When I started recording about two years ago (and then deleted all the files and started over and then deleted them all gain and started over again), I kinda assumed that Suzune would get a rerun, and I could nab those two and easily record their non max-ascended forms but uh. Not sure if that'll ever happen? I'm wondering if I should just record them regardless and release an updated version if we ever get a banner for them again. Lots to think about.

Meanwhile, the above is a short screenshot of how many I've completed. Yeah... 194..... This isn't including the girls who still need to be uncapped either. My computer has more space now, it's amazing to move them permanently to the backup now.

These are all the ones that have completed recordings that still need to be edited and uploaded:

Editing doesn't take too long, it's just that my computer slows down and it starts to take a long time when you have like tens of them to do. But I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! ...Still need to record a bunch, but I have lots of queue so things should be fine.

I kind of wish I had done some things differently, but oh well. When it comes to my channel, I feel like... well, you don't really get quality, but you do get quantity. Even if that's not technically as good, I think there is still value in it. idk.

Thumbnails

My stupid ass was looking at the channel and decided to redo a bunch of thumbs, and hey did you know that there is a 100 limit on how many thumbnails you can upload in a day? Sucks man.

Anyways, the transformation thumbnails are mostly updated and I just have about fifty left to upload now:

A while ago I started to make the characters' names a few pixels larger than the rest of the text, and it's been bothering me for a while that some vids had the bigger text and other vids didn't, so uhhh. Yeah. I also ended up changing a bunch of thumbs so that they show the end shot. Is that the better choice...? I'm not sure. I think it might make the thumbs more boring, but I think it's also more upfront about the fact that they're transformation videos.

More importantly, I also decided to redo the battle animations thumbs!

At first it was because I wanted to put "battle animations" in the thumb but I ended up deciding that plain old "animations" looks better. So why am I still changing all of them? Well...

I'm super honored that my stupid lil channel is getting used for the gallery section for the girls! See here on the fandom wiki. But then I was looking at it and man, that thumbnail sure does look fucking ugly when it's all blown up in your face like that. And if people are gonna use my stuff (🥺), I'd at least like it to look nice on their site...?

So I'm using the sprites from the magireco sprite viewer (rip), although unfortunately it's missing some/doesn't have new stuff/won't be updating anymore. But at least some of the new sprites will look better.

I know how to get some stuff off of Rika.Ren for datamining-ish, but sprites aren't one of them, and tbh I'm kind of not interesting in learning new things atm. So stealing off the Puella Magi Wiki is the best we'll get. But still! Older videos will have better thumbs. And oh man, some of them were ugly as fuck.

...I still need to make uhhh 200 more of them ish but I'll work on that tonight.

Playlists

Much to my displeasure, the results for the poll I made pointed towards folks deciding that more videos in a playlist is better, so I'm redoing all the playlists I had foolishly trimmed (this is also how I noticed some thumbnail problems and then got obsessively focused on fixing them last night instead of the playlists).

A couple of playlists still need to be redone-- I basically deleted everything in them, 'cause it's easier to just start over instead of dragging things around (especially when you get past 100, as it'll stutter and boot you to a different place). But I'm slowly getting there, and they should all be back up by tonight? The Madoka one will take the longest I think; that was easily 150+ videos if I recall correctly.

I also put all the battle animation videos currently uploaded into the battle animation videos playlist.

Originally I was trying to upload the videos in order of release, to make it easier on myself when putting it into the playlist. But that was kind of frustrating, especially when I had already released some out of order and then you factor in holidays... So fuck it! They're all in there now, even if they're private.

This is what you see when you're not on my channel (and you select to see hidden videos). Woops. Oh well!

But this means I'm more willing to go out of order in the uploads :)

Conclusion

I really wanted to get this all wrapped up so I can start to move on to other things! Like, ya know, my webcomic project. And also liveblogs!

Oh speaking of which... wait maybe I should make it a separate update... hmmmm. Yeah I'll do that.

Anyways, yeah! It'll be nice once I no longer need to upload a video every day, but it's also not too bad. I'm just glad I have a huge amount of queue, which'll give me time to look for some of the older collab characters. I'm not entirely sure how I'll film their little poke animations... Maybe I'll have to ask around, or perhaps use the kyugay sprite site? I have no idea how to record my screen. Ah man.

But I think the channel is heading towards a decent place, and I'm excited to finish everything up :)

Hope y'all aren't too bothered by the spam of videos! It's gonna be a couple more months at least....

#Magia Record #Youtube Stuff #Im not really sure if this should go into the tag...#I apologize if you feel it's spam #but i did put it under a read more!

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beamygaming · 23 days

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Enjoying Games Again - a blog!

Hi! My name's Amy, but you can also call me Beamy! I'm just a gal with a passion for the art of video games, and this is a blog dedicated to my thoughts on the ones I play.

I've been creating games since I first learned how to use Game Maker when I was 7 years old, and I've been playing them as far as I can remember. My favorite games have always been Nintendo games and indie games, especially all the games made in Game Maker on the old YoYo Games Sandbox (Rest In Peace). I also grew up watching other people make Let's Play videos on YouTube. Some of my favorite videos to watch were people playing Minecraft, Super Mario World ROM Hacks, and I Wanna Be The Guy fan games. Today, I don't watch as many LPs, but I do subscribe to several channels on game design and analysis. Video games have always been a part of my life, shaping how I think and approach the world, and I love how much joy they give to me and to others.

So with my passion for playing and making games in mind, I've always wanted to share my love of games in some way! Obviously, I make my own games and have several already posted to Game Jolt and Itch.io, but being a game developer, I have more nuanced thoughts on games that other people have made which I want to express. So, growing up watching YouTube, I've always wanted to make my own videos. Maybe I'd post my own Let's Plays, do my own challenge runs, craft meticulously edited video essays, or make a contemporary Angry Gamer review channel where I say the funny **** word. And then there's streaming! I could stream myself playing games on Twitch and upload the VODs on YouTube as a sort of video archive. Or should I just stream on YouTube? Maybe both? Which platform is better? Should I even stream at all? What about a job? How will I sustain myself? How will I make money?

...

Oh yeah. Money. I'm an adult 3 years out of college living independently with a full-time job, which I need in order to survive in this economy. It's been hard juggling my passions with my job, household chores, errands, and maintaining a social life. Frankly, I feel like I haven't even played many video games the last 2 years, let alone make them or make videos on them. The main issue I keep thinking about is time and money. I can't work on projects because my job takes time. But I can't quit my job because I need money. If my projects could make money, then I'd have the time to work on them! But that's the issue. I don't have the time. And the only way for my projects to make money is to have an audience, which I also don't have and would need to build up (it sucks to think of art so cynically like this).

So I thought to myself, can I do something easier with the little time I do have? That's where the streaming idea came in. If I make a BUNCH of content in the form of VODs, there will be more videos for YouTube to recommend to people that will totally be clicked on and I'll start to gain followers, right? *buzzer sound* Wrong. The fact of the matter is I was a mere drop in the sea of countless others thinking the same thing. In order to make money, I'd have to be a content milling machine uploading daily videos all the while maintaining an entertaining persona in every one. It takes up way more time than I have, and quite frankly I don't even like making that style of content.

...

But... what about the money?

...

...What about it?

Money ruins art. I hate how art has been commodified. Art is the very expression of human thoughts and emotion through any medium imaginable. Tying a monetary value to that expression, a value which determines whether we have food or housing, whether we even get to live, causes us to make dumb decisions in how we think about art. The money shouldn't be the point of why I make art. I make art--I share my thoughts, my emotions, my experiences--because I want to connect with other humans. I value art because it makes me feel alive. I shouldn't have to risk my life just because I want to express it.

Unfortunately though... that's the world we live in currently. But I can work around it. I can think about how better to use my time. And I can have a healthier outlook on art.

I have a list of games. A BIG list. One would certainly call it a backlog, though initially I didn't realize the nature of the beast. The games in the list are all ones that I want to play and share with the world. Most are ones I've already played and still love to this day. I originally wanted to stream these games and upload the VODs in my cynical efforts described above. As mentioned previously, though, it's not feasible nor desirable for me to do so. But I still want to share these games. What can I do if not upload videos?

I found this cute video titled "You DON'T Need a Backlog" on YouTube. The video describes how some gamers make a list of games that they just have to play and the bad habits they form around this concept. Some people treat playing games as a chore! Can you believe that? I mean... that's kinda exactly what I was doing. I still like the list since it reminds me of all the games I want to share and may otherwise forget about. But maintaining a channel is so tiring. So instead, the video suggests an alternative. Make a game log! Make a personal list of all the games you've played along with a few comments on each. You don't even have to worry about beating them, just play enough to feel satisfied. As someone who's more interested in sharing her thoughts on games than being a live entertainer, this idea seems just perfect for me!

So, this what I plan on doing. I'm going to try to post whenever I beat a game so I can share a few of my thoughts on them. I'd like to stream some of them, too, since I do enjoy streaming sometimes! But I won't stream all of them, nor will I upload any VODs except for maybe some segments I think would be especially fun. The posts I make will range from a sentence or two to full paragraphs. I've never used Tumblr before, but it seems like a chill space and I'm happy to meet the people here ^_^

This is a blog dedicated to my thoughts on video games. Follow me for posts about the games I play, the art we make, and the thoughts we share. My passion for games may have waned as of recent, but it is my goal to rekindle that flame by sharing it with others. Won't you sit by the fire with me? 🔥

#hello tumblr #introduction

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