#But it can also not matter at all bc theres other ways to go to uni! And plenty of jobs that dont need uni! Idk!
Text
Putting my iono and grusha here as well. They’re friends for streaming reasons
#Imagine getting a good atar score and it not mattering bc none of the courses you applied for need atar#Unrelated i got my atar today :) it was v good heheheheh#For non aussie ppl atars p much a mark for how you did overall in your y12 classes its important for most unis#But it can also not matter at all bc theres other ways to go to uni! And plenty of jobs that dont need uni! Idk!#I saw people saying grusha and iono are t4t. Ofc they are#Pokemon#Gym leader grusha#Gym leader iono#Oh my god i am yet to draw an actual pkmn and not just trainers god. I promise im a real pkmn fan#Oh yeah chongoblog replied to this art on twt i nearly had a heart attack#I woke up to like 12 new replies i and 40 follows i was like!!!!!! Aaaaaaa!!!!!!!#Todays been good so far. Only thing thatd make it better is if my dream uni got back to me….. they accepted my prerequisites i see you#Art tag#Only reason i posted this was to ramble abt atar. Farewell#oh my god i never replied to any of my replies on twt. im so bad at this. i cant think of things to say sjdbowwna augh
343 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wanna go home i wanna be with yoomiee
#im rlly sleepy and just thinking#theres nowhere thats ever rlly felt like ''home'' to me even the house i lived in for the first 18 years of my life even the one i do now#ig bc in both of them and in any other place ive been i was never rlly a priority i was just.someone existing there#ive never rlly been anyones Equal.may be an inferiority complex but it feels like sinking and ive never known what its like to not feel it#i just feel the inherent knowledge that im below everyone else at all times idk#but i like to imagine me and yoomtah as Equal no matter what kinda actual enhancements she has as a cyborg we're on the same level#bc i think the only way i'll feel ''home'' is by being acknowledged as something that is Not inferior#as something that deserves a place to exist comfortably without feeling entirely alienated and lost#and i can kinda imagine what itd feel like when i envision her and i together#with the exact same love and respect for each other just being comfortable together feeling At Home with each other#its warm and comforting but it doesnt feel like much more than an idea bc ive never rlly had it for real#also im aware that irl me wouldnt be equal to her at all bc she can do Everything and iiiiiiii Cant do anything ever#but my si aka realer-than-irl me has cool magical girl powers and has killed for her multiple times so its fineeeeeeeeeee#i would be unstoppable if this vessel i was placed in could shoot heart shaped lasers but alas#does any of this even make any sense jm rlly tired and just rambling abt yoomtah As usual#i want to go home i want her to take me home
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am
#horse.txt#vent //#sort of. too high to be sad abt it im in anthropology mode and listening to music that makes me feel sexy so its fine yk#anyway i typed a whole bunch of other tags talking abt how and why i feel this way by going through a few of the events i can remember#from my childhood that Might explain why im so emotionally guarded and struggle to open up anymore.#bc i Wanted to say they all felt dumb and juvenile esp since ive actually like#made peace with most of the ppl who were involved with them#but the Anthropology mode was just tearing it all down as i typed it bc that Is just a ridiculous way to look at it no matter how you cut it#doesn't matter that nobody involved really Meant to deal that kind of harm and i dont need to hate or blame anyone in order to acknowledge#that it still just Happened. like thats a Memory already babe no do overs.#which is kind of just accidental therapy so sick. love that fir me genuinely!#but also yes theres the bitch part of me that still wants to discredit it bc acknowledging that it happened =/= Fixing My Issues#so im still at square one technically. ive just been pacing in circles on it for a while ig#EVEN WORSE that the Scale of my issues is so incredibly mundane compared to so many of the people i seem to meet.#sitting in bed crying abt not having friends for a few days in elementary school when other ppl have jojos bizarre adventure levels of Lore#i know im not technically invalid for feeling the way i do or anything but god. if it doesn't feel fucking Embarrassing to open up about😭#its impossible NOT to feel stupid and sensitive for having these first world ass problems. And letting them hold me back#bc ppl not liking me for any reason makes me sooooooooo fucking scared So fucking scared its not even funny 😝#at least. ppl in my Circles. im pretty ok about being assertive with randos#still some work to be done on it but its better than whatevers going on with my personal relationships rn#sincerely to my mutuals and loved ones who see this i swear to GOD i love you so so so fucking much and im so. im trying to figure out this#the stuff thats got me so distant and bad at keeping in touch. its a whole slew of feelings about how i see Myself--not yall#i double pinky promise cross my heart im extremely serious#thank you for being patient with me you mean more to me than im capable of putting into words right now#alright theres a shot of tears in the hollow of my collar bone time to wrap up this post#daily reminder that i love body hair. there's some honesty.#😎😎😎💪💪💪#the Quaritch under the cut is just to make me feel better bc i love him and i think hes so pretty. hes like a security blanket
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
it is fun when u comment on a post on reddit and someones like "ummmm look what sub youre in" like no i know. i just think what you said is dumb enough that i'm willing to get downvoted to tell you that
#EVEN IN A SELF PIERCING GROUP DOING YOUR OWN SMILEY IS NEEDLESSLY DUMB!!!#like im of the opinion that self piercing for sure has risks and isn't something that should be encouraged but also that#people have the right to assess that and decide if theyre good with that#like i pierced my own ears bc thats about the lowest risk one you can do (see: claires)#obviously its not NO risk so again i dont think people should be encouraged to. but also people are going to do it#you're never gonna stop ppl from self piercing‚ even if you took all the needles and guns off of amazon and wish n whatnot#people would (and do) just Find Other Pointy Things#so with that i believe while it shouldnt be encouraged‚ there are ways to minimize the risks that should be like#publicly available information. cause if ur never gonna be able to stop it you might as well make it as safe as you can#but your SMILEY??? YOUR FUCKING SMILEY?????#like anything in the mouth really is just. stupid dangerous to do yourself no matter how many precautions you take#ex did you know it is not difficult to fuck up a tongue piercing so bad you bleed out#like you dont even have to do anything wrong either‚ you can do it perfectly and just Happen to have a vein right where you stab#and because its so close to your heart it has a Lot of blood flow#like theres a guy i follow on youtube who's been told by multiple piercers he can never get a tongue piercing#specifically because he would straight up die#absolutely not. never ever in 1000 years. straight up it would be more responsible to do your own dermals with no training#than to pierce shit in ur own mouth with no training and i will die on this hill fuck my fake internet points
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate anytime anyone says like "You should just do this one specific thing with writing bc it's the superior way of writing and everything else sucks" bc im like well what if i dont want to do that with my writing. i rather like how my writing is as it is. & then it makes me feel self conscious of my writing. bc brains are bitches i guess.
#speculation nation#like i do take writing advice into consideration bc it's not like my writing is perfect#there are still things i could improve on. & im working on them.#but. sometimes ppl r just so... generalizing.#this is Specifically with regards to the sentiment ive seen going around of 'it's best to just stick to 'said'' with dialogue tags#and i... dont like doing that.#i find it Fun to think on whether theres a more descriptive word!#and it can really embellish the writing when you find the right ones#and i also like to intersperse dialogue among actions and thoughts. to mix it up & all#'said' just feels very... bland to me. i dont like using it much.#im trying to work on using it if theres just not a more descriptive tag that properly fits. & there's not an action i can easily insert#bc i do agree that overusing synonyms of 'said' gets you that My Immortal type of screenshot#it's about moderation. it's all about moderation.#i know im overthinking this. i KNOW plenty of people have said they like how i write.#but when i see something like this that contradicts the way that i write. it makes me so incredibly self conscious i find it hard to write.#the thing is i try to seem confident on ao3 but i am anything but. even after 640k words posted my confidence is flimsy at best#so even one statement that could be read as anything other than a glowing review makes me so self conscious i wanna curl up in a ball#gaaaah brain's a bitch. anytime i start getting self doubts i try to just shut up about it so i dont bother anyone else with it#since it happens... unfortunately very often. VERY often.#ive been thinking about this for a few weeks tho & ive seen another post on the matter floating around#it's a joke post. not even that serious. but it still makes me so self conscious.#so i wanted to get it off my chest. mostly just complaining. i hate feeling so self conscious about my writing.#hundreds of comments of praise and excitement for my writing & im done in by a few posts that weren't even directed at me#self consciousness is so fuckin stupid. i hate how my brain works.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you take someones outdoor cat i will break into your house and steal all of your cats, hope this helps! xoxo❤️💋😘
#idrc how you feel about outdoor cats.#in many ways- who gave you the authority to decide what happens to someone else's cat?#dont talk about the environment and endangering birds bc theres plenty of other shit that does that and yall dont hammer nearly as hard on#those things#i dont think its a good idea but its also not my place to decide for people- its my job to inform them#bc tbh idk but it uh. seems a lil more fucked up to just STRAIGHT UP STEAL SOMEONES FUCKING CAT. instead of maybe idk#at the very least in form them about your fucking concerns.#some of yalls only goal is to feel edgy and cool and stealing shit is the only way you know how to do it#and so you're gonna justify it and tell yourself you're doing it for all these Good Political Reasons when really you just want an excuse#to steal shit let alone something that matters deeply to someone.#hope you feel good. hope you feel like you won. that misinformed family thinks their cat was abducted by those creepy christians who#kill black cats on halloween and shit but its probably fine bc at least you get to tell yourself you're doing praxis#misinformed* as in. they dont know its wrong to not put your cats outside. like MOST people.#as in: your average american#and yes i have every right to be upset about this attitude since someone kidnapped my outdoor cat. idk what reason they did it#but whatever reason aside from thinking its a stray is dumb. if the cats not actively being abused who tf are you to step in and decide#whats right for ppl you could have otherwise just fucking talked to.#imagine i tell my 11 year old kid its ok to go to the playground 2-3 blocks down and he can walk there. you walk up to him and go#'omg this poor child all alone you must be an orphan!' or 'how dare your parents mistreat you by abandoning you outside here and letting#you think its safe to go out!'#and then you just straight up kidnap my kid. like. you dont know the situation thats going on at my home. maybe i shouldnt have let him go#alone but hes older and walks home from school aloneperfectly fine and its like 2 blocks away so i can go there whenever i need to#sure its a bit different with a cat but still like. you're essentially stealing someones family member bc you decided you have the#authority to step in and go 'actually im going to raise you now bc i dont AGREE with the way they raise you'#and while theres abuse cases where thats warranted i dont feel like having the general idea and belief that it is and should be safe enough#outside for my child to go to the playground w/o me if its 2-3 bloack away- i dont feel like having that as a general belief means that im#abusive or that ppl who think that are abusive.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
irving: duncan, you’re scaring the girl with talk of blights and darkspawn this is a happy day for her.
nimona: nooo i wanted to listen to drakspawn facts :(
#she didnt say that out loud.#but she was disappointed she couldn’t just pick duncan’s brain about darkspawn and take notes#see nimona is very studious and soft spoken. and very obedient to try and avoid scrutiny#esp since her long term goal is to reasearch demons and abominations and possession and thralldom to find a cure/counter measures#my surana and tabris are similar in that they do alot of trying to manage other’s opinions on them#surana makes herself seem the picture of compliant and unassuming while tabris is easygoing and funny- generally they both try to come off#as nonthreatening. though they can both be scary when they want to be.#surana is more unassuming while tabris is more personable. meanwhile my brosca’s more rough exterior and intimidating from the get go since#her job in the carta was to intimidate/beat up people into paying their due.#and seeming scary is probably how she kept people from hurting rica or her mom. so she needs to come off as confident and tough#its fun bc they all get to be more outspoken and vulnerable about how they’re feeling once becoming grey wardens. (tabris and brosca could#be open with family sometimes but they both tended to downplay their own struggles to not worry them)#surana opened up to jowan a little bit but she internalized most things and tends to be matter-of-fact and problem solving focused rather#than actually telling people how she felt and why she felt that way.#i also hc that the enchanters kept her kind of busy with studying (esp since irving was rushing her harrowing) so she didnt talk to ppl much#and then she lies to irving and helps jowan escape (bc sure if she doesnt she wont put herself in danger and jeopardize her research but if#she lets the kinds of things she’s seeking to prevent happen to people for the sake of herself and her research then what IS she actually#accomplishing) also jowan’s her only friend and her sister was also a mage and became an abomination during her harrowing. so theres a kinda#i cant lose anyone like that again kind of thing happening.#also i know that technically theres already the ritual to save connor and the litany of adralla as cures for possession and countermeasure#for thralldom respectively. she’s searching for abomination cures and easier to access ways to cure the others.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had another pain management setup appointment this morning, this time with a physical therapist, and she was asking me about my flare ups and everything and i came to the realizations that 1) theres always a bit of a leadup to the flare, where i'll have a couple days where i feel like shit and my joints feel hot and weak but its also nowhere near the pain levels of an actual flare up. And 2) i am in fact in a pre-flare up right now :/
All this to say that im warping another belt but im not trying backstrap again right now because i can already tell im going to feel like death tomorrow
#the two pain management specialists ive seen so far have been really great which makes me hopeful that ill actually. yknow. get treatment.#of course it could be that the actual medication prescribing doctor is an idiot and asshole in which case i am course screwed#you really never know#have my first appointment with him in a week though#but yeah yesterday was way too much. and it wasnt even that much by anyone else's standards#or at least my coworkers seemed fine. but it definitely jumpstarted a flare up#just always a bit strange to actually. awknowledge that im in pain and theres something wrong#and downright insane to have someone be like 'yeah dude thats not right lets see if we can fix it'#bc i was dealing w a lot of this joint shit as a kid too but if i said anything my parents would get furious about me#'trying to get out of school by faking sick'#didnt matter if the problem was that my feet hurt bc my shoes were always too small hand me downs (an easily fixable issue)#or if i had sprained my ankle for the 10th time that month because there is something fundamentally wrong with my joints#they would just completely refuse to listen or help in any way and usually punish me for asking#so.... the experience of having someone ask me about my pain. listen. believe me. and start talking about what we can try to ameliorate it#is uh. somewhat novel. and also a lot.#chronic illness#im also still expecting someone to be like 'hey so this program is actually for people who are REALLY in pain and you dont qualify#because youre not that bad'#but nobody has said that yet which on the one hand. yay treatment (hopefully)#but on the other hand. when im not actively in a flare up or going into one i am always at least 80% convinced that im making it all up#or that im blowing it out of proportion or something#which also serves to stop me from spiralling 24/7 into health anxiety ocd doom#so with that barrier temporarily removed bc a specialist was nice to me i am now free to spiral#which. i am#should probably just start weaving before i go insane etc
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
im not gonna lie i expected wendell and wild to be,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, better,,,,,,,
#smashy the cache#murder your babies henry selick good lord lol#they needed an exrta 20 minutes or smthn bc that shit was just like#oof#it was a lot of ground to cover for 90 minutes and unfortunately they decided hitting all the story beats was more important than like#making characters with inner worlds. that feel things. and do things based on their feelings. and not Because The Plot Needs Them To#also theres stuff like. fairly early on they introduce that kat went to juvie and im like yeah sure this is a common trope#her trauma and insufficient tools to process it lead to her Acting Out in some way#maybe stole something breaking and entering graffiti maybe arson for some Symbolism idk It Doesnt Matter really bc its shorthand#NO SHE KILLED SOMEONE???#and this information is dropped LITERALLY SECONDS BEFORE SHE 'lets go' AND 'makes her peace with it' LIKE WHAT????#like first of all she INSISTS she is the reason her parents died when it is pretty solidly her dads fault sorry delroy#and its like okay her Angst stems from the survivors guilt and grief and all that and then when she is facing#A LITERAL MANIFESTATION OF HER OWN GUILT AND TRAUMA#the film is like No Actually it stems from all this other shit that weare only showing you JUST NOW MOMENTS BEFORE THIS WILL BE RESOLVED#like idk i feel like a child blaming herself for the death of her parents AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY CAUSING THE DEATH OF ANOTHER CHILD would idk#FEEL A BIT MORE ABOUT THAT than just offhand mentioning right before it doesnt matter anymore#also just EVERYTHING about hell maidens lmao#'hey youre a hell maiden' 'sounds cool i have no further questions im gonna summon demons which is something i can do'#'also i can see the future which is connected to that somehow'#literally what the fuck is a hell maiden and why do they have different powers and why does swearing an oath matter#and more importantly WHAT THE FUCK DID HELL MAIDENS EVEN DO BEFORE THAT GUY MADE THE EVIL TEDDY BEAR???????#like idk its a very Telling Not Showing story but like theyre telling you stuff you just watched happen and not like. necessary context lol#also idk why they bothered w siobhan's 'wait prisons are bad actually :(' arc or the dj dad demon coming to the surface#hes literally chasing wendell and wild down to punish them and then sees a mural and is like 'am i a bad dad :(' and lets them go#why did that need to happen like they coulda just ran away and thats it damn sorry yall had a shitty dad like the story doesnt change#xcept maybe wendell and wild have to do some actual soul searching and penance to get back in kat's good graces#god im gonna stop myself here lol i just keep thinking of other stupid shit they wasted runtime on instead of making a compelling story#anyway lol#i liked the visual design and the hell themepark
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
:3
#some tag rambles bc im having a bunch of loz thoughts to hey why not do a short lived tag ramble#starting with the bad i have thought more on how i feel totk fucked up its characters and its like. yeah any arcs that are there are bad#zeldas is dogshit all of the sages are just. VERY tell no show and it really doesnt matter and otherwise idk#nothing wrong with a static character but imo with a static character you then have to show more of them#reveal some things. also doesnt really happen. the main speaking cast are also kinda weak in relation to link#they dont really work off of him very well bc hes… not treated like a character. hes just some virtuous everyman in the story#so theres no actual chemistry between him or the other characters bc he isnt treated a character so like. he has almost no chemistry#its all mostly one sided and none of the sages but zelda have any real chemistry with other major characters either#and the major characters zelda has chemistry with barely matter so fuck it. like when ppl talk abt like. loz stories#and ppl talk abt how yeah they arent the best but totk is rlly bad. i dont feel like any other loz stories are baaaaad#not in the same way. but they dont feel as egregiously fumbled. imo its bc of the characters most of them time#ofc story can be strong enough and im not discounting stuff like mm and oots themes and atmosphere and stuff#it seeeems to me the most popular non zelda sage is tulin? but mostly bc hes a sweet kid and thats fine and all but there doesnt seem to#be much else to him hes otherwise kinda unremarkable bc he just doesnt do much else and seems to exists mostly to serve gameplay and plot#botw did it better bc the champions actively had a dynamic and a relationship with link they arent the deepest but they have more substance#botw zelda is arguably the strongest character in botw with a unique personality and genuine relationship to link even if we just see it#in the memories and seeing her warm up to link is cool but imp they fumble it in the ending of her arc and how it kinda contradicts stuff#and in totk they doubled the fuck down on her unlocking her powers for reasons related to link and decided ig shed figure she needs to be#links forever bestie and hypeman and she kinda just revolves around him in a really superficial way and this is the negative extreme#of a character being bolstered by being connected to link. but anyways in loz its the characters that tend to be the strongest points#and the characters with a clear dynamic and relationship to link shine the most. think groose ghirahim ravio midna fi marin linebeck sheik#the list could go on but the characters who get a chance to shine by interacting with the Player Character are the ones who stick out#and ofc they get more screen time but they cant avoid that character development or general character fleshing out bc they are in some way#tied to link and in a sort of way link himself is more fleshed out through how those other characters react to him if that makes sense#i think loz is at its best when a good bit of emphasis and effort is placed on characters and character relationships#and when thise relationships and character are written well ofc this fucking matters too#anyways thats why ph is one of the best we love our character heavy black sheep them ds characters carry so hard and so fucking well mwah
1 note
·
View note
Text
in terms of art alone im sorry. im a jrjr defender to my last breath you be fucking nice to him. i dont wanna hear shit❗️❗️❗️
#can someone also get him better inkers rn i am begging. pleading even. HE MAKES GOOD STUFF THEY JUST GIVE HIM SHIT INKERS WHO DONT GET IT.#MY FIRM BELIEF. im sorry. i like his stuff. there are certain things not quite my taste but i think he does good overall im a fan. BE NICE#static.soundz#sorry that last post was so directly inspired by seeing someone go can u guys be nice he is on a fucking nutbag schedule. which he is.#i dont think some people understand the insanity of comic production. and how much it takes a toll on you.#many have said and i will say it too: comics is a killing industry. it is a beautiful fun job. it is fulfilling. it will also destroy you.#the most common and easiest to use example is in fact the manga industry. they want chapters in a week. 20 page type chapters in a week.#A WEEK!!! and currently look at things like webtoon as well which also expect the same amount of pages. in a week. an issue in a week#is an insane demand. it is an unreasonable demand. it is scheduling that leads you to a crash and burnout and health issues#because it is fully finished polished pages. as much as i poke and complain about how some things look there#i am also highly aware of production schedules. even if some styles are not my taste that still doesnt mean it isnt insane work#and it's the same in american big industry comics too. it isnt weekly demand the way those are. but it's still an intense schedule#you are working on pages and can get behind years before those comics even hit shelves.#and as it becomes more individualized too as we lose the team element and work becomes more one person doing all pencils and inks#that schedule is a lot. it just is. it doesnt matter if theres more time in comparison to other parts of the industry#the point is that it is all very demanding and exploitative. there is a drive yourself to your grave mentality here and i've had ppl try#to shove that mindset onto my and my peers which is the worst thing possible to encourage. highly alarming and disheartening to encourage#impressionable students already so worried about making it to drive themselves to an early grave. abuse substances to get through work.#work excessive hours while you still can because when you hit your 30s youre gonna lose that ability#become bitter and prepared for rejection as opposed to success because this industry sucks!#it's just such an unhealthy depressing mindset. i've had more artists preach the exact opposite as that and more ppl have been trying to#shift over to valuing your time and health. but still a lot of people are in that other mentality. and it's very very very sad.#i am only a student doing very low stakes homework for classes. i have no industry experience. and i still get it taken out of me#to do fully fledged out pages in my style in one week. this is also just a thing for me bc certain personal factors just make it hard#but still. comics are fun. they are fun. they are fulfilling. they will lead you to so many fucking issues if you are not highly careful#there is a reason why so so so many fucking comic artists have very well known issues. why you hear about so many ppl with substance issues#artists with very poor mental health. when you are in comics this is how it is.#i am glad there has been a big shift in recent years towards taking care of yourself as an artist. and that more ppl try to value it so tha#things can hopefully change at large in a broader sense. but please remember. we are an exploited chew up spit out industry too.
0 notes
Text
ugh had to get up bc I'm too awake to fall back asleep and started getting hunger cramps
#FINE ILL EAT CEREAL#also made myself rly sad bc i was thinking abt phone calls and it made me think abt how i DONT miss my ex thats long dead and buried#but I DO miss there being someone who was always happy to hear from me or hear my voice any time of day to say anything at all#and always being happy to hear from them in the same way and just. that simple casual kind of love and how easy it was every time#not even talking just how easy it was to be around them and in the same space even if we werent directly interacting#and i love my friends but its not really the same as that i always feel like the longer i talk the more im keeping them from other things#and theyre pulling away and ik my roommate has said before she doesnt rly get anything out of just. being around ppl without-#direct interaction which is ok like thats just how it works for her but also it means whenever im talking to her theres a little desperate#part of me thats like u have to keep talking bc otherwise shes going to get bored and leave except she'll do that either way bc ill run-#out of anything interesting to say.. but again its not the same anyway tho bc we're just friends theres no obligation or anything#not that it was obligation with my ex gah. but it was just so mutual and EASY i dont knowww#i think its on my mind as well bc my roommate was talking abt friends of hers she can just. Always dip into conversation with#and that made me think of my ex but i didnt wanna say bc that sounds dumb and as though im hung up on them (which im genuinely not)#and ik she feels like that abt one of our mutual friends bc theyre much closer than we are and its cute how much she talks abt him and#how obvious her love for him is and i dont begrudge them that at all but i just miss having that myself with someone#but its been so long and itll probably be a long time yet before i ever have smth like that again. if ever man#and it doesnt even matter anyway bc i guess it wasnt ever actually mutual and my ex denied a lot of it afterwards and ik part of that they#were just saying to hurt me (which worked) but it probably was partly true too. maaaan.#i just miss having a favourite person and i miss being someones favourite person even if that wasnt real in the end and i wasnt#i miss at least THINKING i was someones favourite person like back when doubt rarely occurred to me bc i cared so much abt them#like it would hardly cross my mind they didnt. or if it did it was still ok bc it was easily reassured#ahhhh im going to drive myself crazy girl i need to Stop. it doesnt matter its not within my reach anymore but. wails pitifully#sorry for being so pathetic and needy and starved on main in my defence im sick. im gonna lie down for another half hour#and then i guess get ready for work. at least if im working i wont be thinking abt this shit anymore it doesn't matter#ougrhrhhhhgougrh.#.diaries
1 note
·
View note
Note
hey just to let you know op of this post:
https://www.tumblr.com/bodiesoflight/733794261873655808
is an endo and endo safe (just check the tags). i assume you’re anti-endo so just to let you know. if you arent i apologize for bothering you.
[link above]
thanks for letting us know!
#we feel somewhat more complexly about endo etc stuff than the black and white argument you see most often wrt s/scourse in that we dont#believe in the argument that you can have these things without them being a result of smth actively disordered in the brain e.g.#dissociative disorders and we do feel that there are differences wrt spirituality in poc and that kind of ''multiplicity'' in a sense as an#indigenous asian poc + that there are additional disordered forms of ~multiplicitly~ (possibly just presentation wise) in psychotic#disorders etc and that current psychology leaves a lot to be desired in terms of both research and the general western colonial focus of it#+ being extra aware of the fact this disorder hides a lot from you yknow so theres a lot of room for ppl who identify these ways to#just perhaps not have as much insight or help to recognise there's more going on rather#than ''endo'' theories n we dont rly find the general discussion of how its held as ''s/scourse'' on here productive nor wish to participat#in it much but altogether no we don't quite support endos though we also dont support the belief that every endo is inherently just some#''faker'' etc bc there is so much grey area and Even if they are faking it is often the result of other issues etc so it just doesn't make#much sense to us to not show them the compassion of trying to be understanding to the fact theres more likely more beyond surface level#going on than some malicious or trendy intent and to be cruel to them accordingly etc#— with this post in particular though we feel it doesn't matter all that much since op isn't an endo themselves as#opposed to what this ask says (taken from their pinned referring to themselves as traumagenic) and this post#doesn't make any harmful statements that would be interpreted differently through the lens of endo supporting#so we'll leave it up for now but let us know ofc if op is otherwise fucky or means more than we know with it (as we dont follow or know#anything about op beyond a brief checking their blog)#ask#anonymous#sorry for the longwinded response we just hadn't posted our thoughts on this here yet and figured we'd make an encompassing statement on it#beyond what we've said in our blog description#(<- see link in about or tag in our pinned)#spirituality we mentioned btw wrt ''t/lpamancy'' etc and how its misused by whites in ''s/scourse'' etc#tldr: we find it more complex than the immaturity and black and whiteness of the arguments+beliefs held within s/scourse currently and#made a little statement on that +#feel this post doesn't make harmful statements nor is op an endo so we'll leave it up unless there's more going on#but again thanks for informing us and giving us the opportunity to make a statement on this!
1 note
·
View note
Note
your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)
ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one
i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue
theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed
you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :
dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark
im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me
ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too
im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides
im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors
since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)
since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that
contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.
i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.
and one more thing
thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him
what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.
if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors
thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:
structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo
form shadows
cast shadows
ambient light
contact shadows
subsurface scattering
im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right
and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! please could you write a Neteyam x reader?
The reader has always been seen as ‘one of the boys’ and Neteyam treats her as a friend. She becomes fed up of Neteyam not noticing her as a woman so she decides to act feminine or flirty. Neteyam notices her change in demeanour and how she attracts attention of another male which causes him to be jealous. This causes an argument which leads to a confession and maybe a little smut.
❥ a/n: i hope this turned out the way you wanted! im not good with smut so it was little ik im sorry !! also grace is alive here bc theres mentions of her school
Neteyam has always been apart of your life, you grew close to him and he grew close to you. Not in the way you think though, you grew close to him in the romantic sense, he grew close to you in the friendly sense.
You've always been with him, when he'd go hang out with the boys, you'd come as well and nobody ever minded. After all, you weren't a girl. You were part of them.
You actually hated it.
You hated that everyone including Neteyam thought of you as one of the boys.
You weren't.
You didn't care if everyone thought that, what really mattered was Neteyam. And it angered you how he didn't think of you as an actual girl.
You were sick of it, and you noticed things about yourself. You always wore something over your tops, you never really did anything to make yourself look better.
So you changed that, you made new tops, tops that really focused on your features, you braided your hair differently, and changed the way you spoke, you began speaking in a soft and feminine voice.
The only reason you really wore a long top was because of the one time you didn't, where Neteyam made fun of you and the fact that you looked like a girl, and you stopped wearing it so he can stop
But this time, you didn't care, you didn't even know why he used it as an insult.
When you first left your home looking the way you did after you changed yourself, you didn't notice the amount of eyes that were set on you.
Neteyam was with his friends, talking and waiting for you before they all went quiet
"Damn" One of them said before you approached them
"Hey guys" You smiled, talking in a soft voice
"Why do you sound like that" Neteyam said
"You look like an actual girl" Another guy said
"Uh, thanks?" You said and they all laughed, Neteyam didn't though since there wasn't anything funny
Were they laughing to please you or something?
"Uh, y/n, wanna walk with me to school?" Al'oktan asked
"Alright" You said, and everyone stared as you walked with him, Neteyam just glared and went quiet
It started becoming like this all the time, boys would talk to you, walk you home, try to impress you. But what bothered Neteyam the most was what you were doing.
Why the sudden change? You were fine the way you were before.
You completely changed, and it annoyed him.
What really snapped him, was when he was with his friends
"Neteyam" Al'oktan said
"What" Neteyam answered
"Do you think anyone asked to court y/n?"
Neteyam froze, was he going to court you?
The other boys answered for Neteyam, and he just made up some excuse and left them.
He went to find you and rolled his eyes when he saw you with another guy
"y/n" He said, and they both turned to him, "we need to talk"
"Um, okay...I'll see you later" You told the guy, he just glared at Neteyam and walked away
It was quiet for some time, he just kept staring at you
"What's going on?" You asked
"What are you doing." He said
"What?" You responded, confused
"Why are you acting like this"
"Like what, exactly?" You nervously chuckled
"Like this, y/n!" He yelled, "The weird change in voice, the revealing outfits, the hair, everything!"
You rolled your eyes at him, "What do you expect, Neteyam. I'm a girl" You said and were about to walk away until he pulled you back
"Don't you think I know that?" he asked
"No actually, you don't. You always see me as one of the guys and it's annoying! I'm not, Neteyam! I'm not some guy friend you can make fun of. I actually have feelings yknow" You yelled
"You know I don't actually make fun of you"
"I don't care. Why are you so mad anyway!" you rolled your eyes again
"Because I don't like it!"
"Don't like what!"
"Everything! I don't like seeing others with what's mine." He yelled and you went quiet, he held your hand, "You are what's mine."
"What are you saying?" You said
He gently held your face, "I'm saying what you're hearing, y/n." He whispered, slowly leaning in and pressing his lips against yours
You slowly pushed him away, "Why now, Neteyam?"
"Because I planned on telling you before, but you suddenly changed and all these boys were after you and I didn't like it." He said
"Why not? I think it's sweet" You teased
"Very funny" He rolled his eyes
You smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, he melted into the kiss, your hands roamed around his hair, his slid down to your top, gently untying it
"I'll show you what's really funny, y/n" He whispered as his hands roamed down your body
man were you in for a night.
#avatar fanficiton#avatar the way of water#avatar 2#avatar x reader#avatar#neteyam x you#neteyam sully#neteyam#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x reader
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think some of yall are just gonna have to accept that vegans have a different philosophy than you.
#YOU might think its respectful to eat animals or whatever the fuck#but like i dont and cant bring myself to. sorry#IM not about to let that get in the way of being friends w non vegans though .#like im never gonna be like 'killing animals is cool' bc to me it isnt and i dont think theres many reasons to unless you specifically have#to eat it for some reason. im not even a pure vegan. i still eat meat. i just dont see the pleasure in it.#ig i cant help but think about factory farming and the horrible ways animals die. i also dont really know if theres a Good way to kill an#animal just for sustenance.#i think itll be bad no matter what but ig theres *better* ways to do it if you have to#i think yall havw to understand that im literally just some person whos come to this conclusion#i dont have systemic power to change how things are so dont bitch that im taking your meat away when clearly its not going anywhere#yall essentially anti vegans are exhausting.#what i hate is how i say i care about animals lives and then in a defensive immediate retort people try to claim that i dont care about#oppressed humans. as if all vegans are actually just eco fascists who couldnt be assed to give a fuck about minorities lmao#im sorry youve interacted with shitty vegans but i promise theres vegans who just like dont want anyone to be killed if it can be helped#maybe i do actually just care about both of these things at once. ik its shocking#and i promise that me generally supporting ntv and other ppls ability to hunt for whatever environmental justification#isnt mutually exclusive from me thinking its generally not good to eat meat#like it IS possible to believe two things at once#also great news for you! i dont have control over you and your life. so whatever i say could fundementally not effect you#and no. thinking an action is bad doesnt mean i think anyone who hunts is a Bad Person. i also cant make them stop either#i just have personal feelings on the matter#sorta like how your friend has a preference for a tv show you find problematic and you've vented your frutrations w it#but they still love the show anyways and you wouldnt take that away from them bc a. you cant and b. it doesnt effect our friendship enough#for me to feel the need to try to encourage them to not watch it...?#the totally wacky and wild and unique unheard of thing abt me is that i dont need to control people who want to live a different life#even if i dont think its entirely cool whatever it is they do#obviously if theyre a racist or something i wont tolerate that but yeah#this is MY path in life. these are MY beliefs. i dont need you to follow in my footsteps.#im not ur guru lol#im not pushing for any policies. i dont have a plan to *make* everyone vegan. im just sharing my thoughts.
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
egyptianbuild
egyptian build
kittyownsme
Kittys Property
zephyrinelilgenie
breezybaby
im-tiny-nico
nico!! 🐻🍯
im-tiny-nico
nico!! 🐻🍯