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honeybee-babe · 5 years

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cw for ed-ish stuff so feel free to skip if you aren't in the right place of mind to deal with that: I've been really strugling with binging urges lately and I was wondering if you could share some Luther hcs or other thoughts you've had about him and food stuff? How do you think it would go if one of the others walked in on him binging (someone who's sympathic about it)?

TW: Eating disorders and body dysmorphia, mentions of sexual assault

oof i’ve let this sit here for far too long. soz! been busy af. :(

First off, I hope things have gotten better for yoU!! I have been in a similar boat lately literally binging and restricting for weeks on end. It’s getting better but it really is hard to break these cycles, it requires a lot of strength. But you are strong enough and i know you can get through it

ANYWAY:

HCs and Thoughts on Luther’s ED (this got very wordy/rambly):

tbh i see luther as a comfort eater, esp. bc he ate those 10 hot dogs when he was sad and feeling sorry for himself. yes finding out that reginald was lying to him was awful and truly traumatic but people without already disordered eating don’t just up and eat 10 hotdogs when they’re sad. that is an extreme binge for someone at any size, plus he seemed ashamed of it when allison brought it up: AND not to mention the only other thing we ever see him eat post-change is a weird nutritional pouch and eventually alcohol.

on the moon, Luther must have eaten in rations and definitely would have been counting calories. Plus with the nutritional pouch thing we can assume he is restricting when back on earth and the hotdogs were a binge, therefore Luther is a binge/restricter.

EVEN in the flashback to before the serum we see him eating way too little for his size (way too little for his size before the change, mind you). He eats a single bowl of cereal without any juice or anything to wash it down, which is just not an adequate breakfast for Tom Hopper’s Actual Body(TM), especially if he was going to train later that day. And then after this sad breakfast he drinks a ton of milk. IDK if this is a stretch but that in itself is kind of disordered; the milk was definitely a comfort food for him which indicates that he is an emotional eater (IE extra calories because he feels lonely), a predisposition to disordered eating before the serum. He clearly prefers to get most of his calories from liquids, which continues and gets worse after the change.

I imagine Reginald was particularly strict with him about food. Since his power was physical strength, Reginald probably gave him a strict diet and exercise routine. Counting macros and calories, etc. Going under or over his limit was probably a huge, HUGE fucking deal. And maintaining perfect body image as the big, strong #1 was definitely a giant deal to Reginald bc Luther had to look intimidating. That, along with the pressure to be perfect, is a recipe for anorexia or bulimia. Luther definitely is the type to take corrective measures: binging and then following it with purging or restricting, or intense exercise.

Additionally, with the smiley-faced foods, I imagine the kids were taught to see Grace’s food as comfort. I see Grace giving them treats to make them feel better when Reginald was a dick. These good intentions definitely could have convinced Luther that food was comfort and nurturing but something Reginald wouldn’t allow him to have. So the overwhelming urge to eat and eat and eat (BINGE) when he is very upset, followed by an urge to restrict.

And definitely a deep, deep shame about all of this. If anyone found out, Luther would be crushed.

Literally the stereotype for someone with an eating disorder is someone who feels they lack control over their life trying to overcompensate by controlling their food intake. And someone who is striving to be perfect either because someone has told them they have to be (*COUGH*Reginald) or convinced them that they will never be good enough unless they are (*COUGH*Also Reginald). Luther embodies this mentality; he wants to be perfect for Reginald, but Reginald has set Luther up to hate himself because he can never be perfect (perfection is a myth), and also Luther has literally no control over his life because Reginald controls everything. It is thought that many young teenagers develop eating disorders because they are afraid of the changes their bodies experience during puberty, the underlying problem being that they are afraid of growing up; Luther literally still lives at home and is absolutely afraid of growing up.

Ape body obviously makes things 100000x worse. And we see in the show that his poor eating habits (small bowl of cereal and relying on milk for liquid calories/comfort food) have gotten even worse (liquid calories in packages clearly restricted until a MASSIVE binge on hotdogs)

MIGHT I ADD: Sexual assault survivors are much more likely to experience disordered eating because the lack of control over what happened to them and the hatred of the body that has been “tainted” or reminds them of being assaulted..... Luther’s consent over his body was clearly taken away during the ape-body operation.

Thoughts on Someone Walking in on him Binging:

This is real tough. I feel like Allison isn’t really aware of it due to her reaction to him eating 10 hotdogs and not saying anything about it. IDC if he is big, 10 hotdogs is abnormal especially given how little he used to eat, and the fact that he currently only eats those weird fucking packages. I feel like, loving as she is, she wouldn’t really understand it. I feel like Allison has a really healthy relationship with food, probably the healthiest out of all of them. She is the most well-balanced sibling I think. But once she realized it was a problem she would do a ton of research into BED/Bulimia/EDNOS or whatever Luther has and become an expert and advocate, as well as helping him in recovery.

Same with Diego but I feel like he would probably joke about it and then after Luther either told him to fuck off or hide the evidnece, he would realize it was a serious problem but not want to apologize or know what to do. I feel like he’d be concerned but not want to express it, so he’d tell Klaus about it and make him bring it up. After Luther entered into recovery Diego would keep updated through Klaus but not express concern to Luther himself.

Five... oof I feel like Five would just be like “yup thats how i ate during the apocalypse” and not really understand? Like i don’t think he’s evil but he would probably not find it very serious. Once he found out (if he ever did) that it was serious, I feel like he’d be accomodating (checking in if Luther ate his dinner, if he snuck food out of the pantry etc.) but not particularly warm or comforting.

TBH I see Klaus and Vanya being the most understanding Vanya would definitely understand the urge to make yourself seem as small/insignificant as possible, and Klaus obviously understands mental health issues and addiction (ED is an addiction!)

Klaus might not realize what was going on at first and make a joke, but i think he’d realize real soon bc he understands unhealthy coping. he would probably joke around with him still in the same way that he jokes about his own addictions, but i feel like he would be very comforting, like solidarity yknow? Maybe he would make a pact with him that they would recover from their addictions together.

I feel like Vanya would just be super supportive and quietly soothing. Like if Luther got uncomfortable she would use a rlly soft caring voice. this is sappy but i feel like if Luther was ever to talk openly to a sibling or cry in front of one of them about his body issues, it would be Vanya.

OKAY THAT WAS WAY TOO LONG OF A RESPONSE AND I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

NIGHT NIGHT!!

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