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#Big Gay Road Trip
inevitablesurrender · 2 months
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Yeah yeah, eventually I have to get back to documenting the harrowing out of bounds Niflheim adventure where the sky disappeared and all.
I have a fondness for the places you're never supposed to see and all that. It is art out here, where you aren't supposed to be.
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reineyday · 6 months
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just watched bnha world heroes mission and wow they really packed a whole bunch of my favourite tropes into rody soul huh
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bitchfitch · 1 year
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While visiting family for the holidays I've come to notice something.
So y'all know how there's a pretty Massive issue happening primarily with trucks and SUVs right now? Theyre being made taller and taller without the geometry really changing to make sure you can still see out in front of the vehicle. and that has lead to a misidentification of what the problem actually like, is.
I drive an old van. a retired ambulance to be precise. She was built before this obsession with Bigger vehicles really hit the market, and before van manufacturers were considering the vanping market when making their products. She can't fit under some bridges and I need a step stool to get into the driver's seat bc i am a tiny cripple and did not take that into account when I bought her. she's a fucking Big vehicle. i love her dearly, she's florescent.
Despite being fucking Massive do you want to know something funny about her front end blind spot? Its microscopic. It's smaller than the blind spot on my cousins sporty little 2 door. because this is a Fuck off massive vehicle, that was still designed to be Practical. the front end slopes so that her nose is a little shorter than a standard mom mini SUV. With her seat being Way fucking high up, it makes it so you can see basically everything directly in front of her at all times while sitting comfortably.
Which like, is to say: My van is fucking cool, and also that you don't need to limit over all vehicle size to fix the blind spot issue, just the height of the nose. in relation to the angle the driver is viewing their front end by. bc like, my cousins sporty little 2 door, shouldn't have a front end blind spot almost as bad as a lifted f 150 trucks.
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rowanhoney · 10 months
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Tagged by @ameliepoulain to post the first 10 songs after shuffling my On Repeat playlist 💞
Pitou - Be Delicate
iLe - Triángulo
The Moldy Peaches - Secret Tongues
Aziya - Atomic
Pixies - Monkey gone to heaven
Tricky - You Don’t
FKA Twigs - Home with you
Kim Gordon - Murdered Out
Azadi.MP3 - bloodletting
Miss Tiny - the sound
Tagging for their lists 🫶🫶🫶 @mothermass @larlarmojo @wildspringday @h--cinth @waltzingbi @misswitchh @glowcowboy
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@allvalley100
Prompt: Girls’ Night
Friendships: Sam & Demetri & Moon & Yasmine
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“Moon, Yas, and I are having Girls’ Night Friday. Wanna come?”
Demetri finds Sam leaning on his locker, expression completely genuine.
He frowns. “I’m...not a girl?”
“So be an honorary girl.” Sam is undeterred.
He looks away. “You don’t have to invite me along just because Yas and I make out sometimes.”
Sam laughs. “Not why I’m inviting you, stupid. You’re our friend. Besides, you need a breather and a face mask. And Moon has amazing weed.”
He thinks of Eli, and how much he’d rather forget all their shit. Maybe a quality high would help.
“That sounds perfect, Sam.”
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whatqueen-wildcats · 9 months
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❤️👄❤️
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evilminji · 4 months
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You Know How There Are Those AU? Where SUPER Injured Ghosts Need To Retreat To Their Core?
No one seems to be USING that to its fullest potential! For SHENANIGANS! Because! Who?? Could POSSIBLY carry a Halfa's Core safely... but another Halfa?! A FULL ghost would KILL them. A human would be killed! What terribly precarious peril we find ourselves in! Oh nooooooo!
Well, no worry!
As much as Dani fuckin HATES this. That there is her brother. Her Template. Her Clone Daddy and Bestest of Bros. Like HECK she's gonna let him suffer for centuries and possibly DIE. She can take it, Doc! Pop him in! We'll go road tripping and-
What do you MEAN "No"?
Unstable??! Of course she's unstable! But the-.... Oh.
Turns OUT? Dani? Can hitch a ride in DANNY for Emergency Medical Aid... but NOT the other way around. Her body is too loosely held together. He would parasiticly consume her from within. Instead of feeding off her Ecto System like injured ghosts are supposed too, because she's a CLONE? AND an unstable one at that? His Core would just... see her body as free ectoplasm. All of it.
He'd eat her.
Which mean Frostbite can not and WILL NOT allow that.
But he's HURT! That big, off screen, cataclysmic Fight To Save Everybody From *cough cough mumbles* and settle us all in the DC universe, REALLY messed him up! What are we supposed to DO!? He can't STAY like this!!!
Enter-> My FAVORITE DCxDP Trash Ship! Vlad&Lex!!! *horrified screaming from the crowds, someone shouts "oh god, no! Please!"* Ha! There are no gods here, silly billys! Only two terrible, terrible HIGHLY Dramatic, self serving, incredibly damaged, gay peacocks. In Business Suits that cost more then your house is worth.
They're AWFUL~♡
And! Vlad was sent ahead to lay the ground work. Insure there would be no GIWs. Also because no one could stand him and his EXTENSIVE criminal record. But that's besides the point.
But!
You know what he found? A Business Nemesis. Who he routinely dates and/or Dramatically Hate Fu-*coughs* I mean, attempts a Corporate Take Over(tm) off. You know how it is. Business. He ALSO gets to make it no secret he's a "Meta", thanks to the INCOMPETENCE of one Jack Fenton, because that- *seething rant*
Yet? Dispite his STILL burning hatred for Jack? And his finally letting go of Maddie? You know what he STILL wants?
For Danny to be his Son.
*Gets a call from Frostbite*
...............soooooo........ what you're SAYING is..... I can be pregnant with Daniel.
You, Frostbite, need ME, Vladimir Masters, THE ONLY OTHER HALFA, to carry Daniel around inside my body, in what to all appearances resembles a pregnancy, in order to heal him. Because I am an Older And Stronger Halfa Upon Which He Relies.
:)
*instantly begins plotting*
Just? Imagine. Vlad is a FUCKIN LIAR. No one but him would even KNOW what was going on! He just? Rocks up one day, like? *falsely demure* "oh I couldn't POSSIBLY has any scotch, Lex! >:) I'm eating for Two~☆" and just? Deals the MAXIMUM amount of psychic damage he can.
Probably says it at their weekly, public, Veiled Threats Brunch.
It makes front page news. Luthor choked on his eggs. The paparazzi lost their SHIT. Vlad is doing the FULL Celebrity Mom Thing. The classes. The photo shoots. The Gucci sunglasses as he peruses high end strollers. All while HEAVILY suggesting that not only is "The Baby" Lex's.... but that he's going to withhold the child and deny Lex any access.
Danny isn't even aware. He's in a lovely lil medical coma. Dani is trying to find a good spot to plop down Amity. She just know Vlad is being... Vlad. Meh. He can handle it. Dan? He's not even IN the human realm and is not sure he wants to be.
But over in the LEAGUE? Everything's on fuckin FIRE.
Kon is losing his SHIT and Clark is thousand yard staring into the void. Kon's half brother is in the hands of a... Less Then Ideal... Meta that Batman is PRETTY sure is highly suspect. Might be a deliberate weapons experiment. Certainly is a hostage. And the DRAMA.
Lex has never been worse.
He might actually stab his...partner? Vlad. At the hospital. The SECOND the child is born. There are already long term kidnapping plans in the making. He's hiring lawyers. Getting VICIOUS. There have been talks with DEATHSTROKE. By BOTH OF THEM.
Clark wants to cry.
@hypewinter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @mutable-manifestation @babbling-babull
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rageserenity · 2 months
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It's 2024. Are you still thinking about movieverse!Cherik? Because I am.
For the past several months, there's only been a very slow trickle of posts/fics in the xmcu cherik tag. Let's try to breathe some life back into this incredible pairing!
With one clear winner of my poll, here's thirty prompts for the thirty days of April. (This is a super chill, laid-back event---do these in any order, interpret them as loosely as you like! Create in any medium! Fic, art, gifs, meta, incoherent screaming about the otp…all winners in my book.)
The only rule here is to cherik too close to the sun. Alright. Here are the prompts.
Mutual Pining
Doesn't really even need elaboration! Write that horrifically slow slow-burn. Gif every time McAvoy made insane fuck me eyes on screen. Make a playlist of songs about impossible love.
2. Alternate Meetings
There are endless quotes about how these two complete each other in a way no one they'd met before or after ever did. How else could they have met?
3. Erik Has A Telepathy Kink
This is basically canon. Let my boy get freaky!
4. Canon Fix-It
All the times Fox fucked it up. There are endless options.
5. Hurt/Comfort
Put them in that Situation. Put them in that Blender. Break them apart and put them back together ❤️‍🩹
6. Canon Compliant
Draw that missing scene! Gif your favourite cherik moment!
7. Beach Divorce
Make it worse. Make it better. Show it to us exactly how it was. Break it down in a 3,000 word meta. Go wild!
8. Domestics
Sometimes you just want to see them doing normal couple things. Erik put the gun down.
9. Found Family
The real heart of x-men!
10. Time Travel
There are SO many possibilities here. Stick them in a time loop. Give them a chance to change their past.
11. AU
Love a good AU!
12. There Is Only One Bed
Had to get this one in here. What better way to amp up the tension?
13. Genosha
By some miracle, cherik actually did end up together at the end of 2019s trash bag disaster Dark Phoenix. We aren’t making a big enough deal about this.
14. Declaration(s) of Love
Who says it first? How do they say it and when? Have they said it…without saying it?
15. Jealousy
Need I say more.
16. Reunion
These two have absolutely no chill.
17. Soulmates
Classic prompt, had to get this in here too.
18. The DOFP Aircraft
The TENSION here. Break it down for me. How does Charles feel about his injury? How does Erik feel about his injury?
19. Gay Mutant Road Trip
You already know.
20. Body Swap
SO fun when people have superpowers.
21. First Kiss
When? How? Who initiated it?
22. The Mansion
Mansion!content is a genre of its own.
23. Conflicting Ideology
Give me your theses. Who’s right? Can they ever reconcile completely? Write a fic where it drives them apart.
24. Sebastian Shaw
A trope unto himself.
25. Team As Matchmaker
They had to have known something was going on, didn’t they?
26. Cooking
Charles deserves a good meal. Also, imagine Erik using his powers in the kitchen. The sheer domesticity…
27. Hurt No Comfort
Plenty of scope with these two 🥲
28. Growing Old Together
Giving Sirs Ian Mckellan and Patrick Stewart their props as well!
29. Making Up
*pushes chess board across the table* sorry babe
30. Charles Xavier Did More For Mutants Than You'll Ever Know
Rising to each other’s defense. Only I can insult this man.
I will be tracking #revivecherik to reblog stuff! Here’s a fic collection for the same. Let’s get this ball rolling! Please feel free to send me an ask if you’ve got anything to say! And most importantly, let’s all have fun 😁
*I know a few of you preferred something like a gift exchange because of the commitment factor—I’m super down to organise a tiny one for the handful of us! If this promptathon doesn’t flop horribly, we can hopefully do a whole bunch of stuff :)
If you read this post all the way through, please reblog for reach! Thank you! Hoping you participate come April.
Shoutout to @inmymagnetoera for reaching out and helping with this!
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mrwavellswaps · 7 months
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Midnight
(Halloween Special)
It was October 31st and the evening was fast approaching. The sun was already beginning to set and pretty soon all the Halloween action was about to begin. Action that typically ranged from trick or treating to spooky house parties. Garret was planning on heading to the latter.
He’d meant to find himself a costume of sorts to wear but between work and dedicating a big chunk of his free time to the gym, working to maintain all the thick muscle he’d built, he’d found himself without anything interesting to wear. He knew most of his college frat buddies would be there and they’d almost certainly be dressing up in some way or another so he didn’t want to be seen as the boring one of the group. But what the hell could he wear? He didn’t really want to because it’d probably look terrible but at this point he’d more or less accepted that he’d just have to buy something cheap from the shop up the road. If anything they could at least have a laugh over how bad his costume was.
Just as the jock went to step out outside however, he was greeted by a pumpkin sat on his doorstep. But this wasn’t just any pumpkin. There was a silly rumour that went around town that there was a cursed pumpkin head that had some strange untold powers on Halloween night. People had reported seeing it just showing up out of nowhere in the street or near houses. Always the exact same pumpkin. Same shape. Same carving. Everything. But Garret didn’t believe it of course. Who the hell would believe a stupid rumour like that? His only guess was that it had to be someone around town trying to mess with him.
He was about to ignore it but then an idea struck him. He picked up the pumpkin to see that it already had a hole in the bottom and was perfectly hollowed out. Honestly he couldn’t even tell if it was real or fake. Regardless he figured showing up to the party with a ‘cursed’ pumpkin on his head would get a few laughs out of people while also saving him a trip to the shop. And so he shrugged before turning and heading back inside, pumpkin in hand.
Garret later sat debating with himself over something. He had a great idea for how exactly he could show up to the party but would it be too much he wondered? Nahhhhh. And so he proceeded to pull off the t-shirt and sweatpants he’d been wearing before grabbing another pair of rather skimpy underwear to put on. Now his thick jock body was on full display in all its glory. Those bulging biceps, watermelon sized pecs and those tree trunks he called legs. And to top it all off he slid the pumpkin on his head before strutting over to a mirror to take a look.
“Fuuuuck yeah baby! The chicks at this party are gonna love this!” He claimed boldly while giving his reflection a quick flex. “Yeahhhhh… they ain’t gonna be able to resist all this.” He chuckled to himself while thrusting his hips slightly, hoping to have a hot bitch on his dick by the end of the night.
The party wasn’t for a couple hours yet as it started at 11pm yet for some reason Garret didn’t feel like taking the pumpkin head off. Something about it felt weirdly… comfortable? He didn’t really think too much of it really and at one point almost forgot it was on his head. But soon enough 11pm was fast approaching and all of the trick or treaters had gone home so now was the time. Garret grabbed a coat and slung it on before stepping outside into the cool autumn night and starting his walk towards the party.
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As soon as he arrived his bros welcomed him in, all laughing over the so-called ‘cursed pumpkin’ he was wearing. Those laughs quickly turned to cheers and whistles however as he soon threw off his coat to reveal his bare torso. His hunky body out for all to see. He immediately had the girls and gays drooling while even those that weren’t into guys couldn’t help admitting he had a damn good body.
From there on the party raged for the next hour. Dancing, laughing and all sorts of party shenanigans going down. Garret had even noticed a few hot babes that’d been checking him out much to his delight, causing his cocky grin to widen beneath the pumpkin head. Speaking of which he’d hardly removed the pumpkin even since arriving. He’d only taken it off once or twice momentarily to have a drink here and there before slipping it right back on. Once again though he didn’t think much of it. It was his costume after all. If he didn’t wear the pumpkin then he was pretty much just an almost dude in skimpy underwear. At least that’s what he told himself.
The clocks ticked closer and closer to midnight and as they did Garret began to get a weird feeling that he couldn’t describe. A mix of emotions like excitement, joy and anticipation. Only these emotions felt… second hand almost. Like they weren’t his own. As strange as it was he simply convinced himself that he was just a bit tipsy from the beer he’d been drinking.
However the second it turned midnight, an inexplicable feeling washed over Garret. He began to feel dizzy as everything around him began to blur.
“Bro… what the fuuuuuuuuckkk…” Garret groaned.
The crowd didn’t seem to notice much due to all the dancing and excitement of the party. That is until out of nowhere Garret’s entire body began to convulse. Strong muscles jiggling as his body shook uncontrollably. So much so that a handful of people couldn’t help noticing.
“Garret? Come on, we know that thing isn’t actually cursed. Stop being an idiot.” One of his mates said from behind as he watched on at the hunk’s shaking body.
The man was about to say something else when suddenly the convulsions stopped and Garret stood still once again. Only now he seemed a little dazed as he caught his balance after nearly falling over. He immediately began looking down at himself as best he could with the pumpkin head on. Touching his torso in a half curious, half sexual manner. More and more people began to notice this in small glances. Seeing at the dumb party jock started to feel himself up a little in the middle of the dance floor.
“Yo Garret! What’re you doing bro?” Another one of the dudes at the party asked.
Immediately after the hunk began to take notice of all the eyes on him now.
“Oh! Uhh…” He coughed a few times as if he weren’t used to his own voice. “I just… wanted everyone to know how uhhh… fuckin hot I am. Bro.” Garret stumbled with his words awkwardly. Even the way he said ‘Bro’ sounded foreign.
Immediately after Garret excused himself from the floor where everyone was dancing. He pushed his way through the crowd and as he did some people couldn’t help noticing the way that he moved. It was as if he wasn’t used to his own weight and size. Not to mention how strange his stride was. He was stumbling over himself slightly while subtly trying to adjust his bulge as if he weren’t used to the cock and balls between his massive thighs.
Eventually Garret managed to make his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. The jock walked over towards the mirror and took a long deep breath. “Finally…” he mumbled before grabbing the pumpkin and slowly slipping it off his head.
Upon seeing his reflection Garret couldn’t help grinning. “Holy shit... I’m-… I’m a fucking hunk!” He exclaimed with glee upon getting a good look at not only his body but his handsome face as well.
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“God I was stuck inside that pumpkin for so long…Not being able to move, touch, smell or taste. I was starting to go insane.” He said as he touched his face curiously. “Sorry bro but it’s your turn now.” He smirked, looking at the pumpkin head now sat on the counter next to the sink.
Little had Garret known that the curse on the pumpkin head was most certainly real despite his skepticism. Every Halloween when the pumpkin gains its powers it will appear to someone it deems fit who will feel subtly compelled to wear it. However the person wearing the pumpkin when midnight rolls around will have their soul trapped inside it! In turn whoever was last trapped inside the pumpkin will gain the take over the body instead.
Last Halloween the pumpkin appeared to a young woman named Kim. Just like Garret she ended up wearing it and come midnight the soul that’d been previously trapped in the pumpkin stole her body and trapped her inside it. Since then she’d been trapped in this strange cursed pumpkin. She had the ability to teleport around but she found that she was completely invisible to the world. It was torture. All the while a stranger was enjoying her body. That is until Halloween finally rolled around again and suddenly she was visible once more. Luckily she’d been watching a certain young jock a lot recently. The type she would’ve been into before. Garret. That’s when it all clicked. Now was her chance to get a new body. And so she made sure to show up on Garret’s doorstep and the rest is history.
Kim’s manly new hands began to explore her new body. “Holy fuuuck. I can’t believe I’m actually a man!” She exclaimed, still in awe at her new masculine body. “It feels so different. Everything from the shape to the proportions. It’s all so weird.” She continued as he felt around her hips and waist. Running her hands along her new abs with a lustful curiosity. “Mmmm it feels goooood though.”
Her smirk grew even wider as she brought her hands up towards her chest. Without a second thought she cupped her massive new pecs in her hands, hefting them a little much to her own joy. “God these tits are even bigger than my old ones.” She laughed while giving her pecs a good grope. That’s when an idea hit her. “I wonder if I can…” She took a small step back and focused on her chest. It took about a minute or so to figure it out but, thanks to muscle memory, pretty soon she was bouncing her pecs in the mirror! “Fuck that is HOT!” She said with Garret’s slightly dumb sounding jock voice. A voice that she was quickly growing to love.
She wanted to continue admiring her new muscular form but was quickly interrupted by a growing tightness in her groin. “Oh- Jesus that’s… fuck.” Kim muttered to herself as she looked down to see her new bulge growing bigger. She reached down somewhat hesitantly before placing a curious hand on it. She gently ran her hand along the hardening outline of her new cock as it pulsed bigger with excitement. “Wow… so that’s what it feels like huh? It’s so-Mmph” She grunted as he gave her manhood a quick squeeze or two. “So stiff… how the hell do guys walk around with these things between their legs? It was weird enough moving around when it was limp.” She continued while squeezing it a few more times and rubbing her hand back and forth along the outline, shuddering slightly with delight as she did. “Oh god it feels good though…”
The real Garret could only watch on completely helpless as the woman who stole his powerful body began to slide his skimpy underwear down. It was a nightmare! He was praying that any second now he was gonna wake up and that this was all some sort of crazy dream. Unfortunately for him however, this was indeed reality.
As soon as she slipped off the underwear, Kim’s new cock practically jumped out at her. Smacking her abdomen before standing out in front of her at full salute. “Shhhiiiitttt Bro!” She said, imitating Garret’s jock attitude. “This thing feels like a metal rod!” She commented as she took the fat cock in her hand. It was thick and long, perfectly shaped and not to mention sensitive as Kim was quickly finding out. She couldn’t stop herself from letting out a deep grunt as she stroked her new dick a couple of times. The sensation of which felt mind blowing to her.
“Oh god okay. This could just be my new man brain talking but now I understand why dudes always wanna fuck.” She smacked her chick against her hand a few times and that sent a small shiver up her body. “I just wanna stick this thing in any hot hole I can find.” Kim added before thrusting her hips slightly just as Garret had been doing earlier that day. “Jeez… I’ve only been in this body for 10 minutes and I’m already acting like a dude.” She chuckled. Though she had to admit the idea of that was hot as fuck. Not only stealing Garret’s jock body but then also acting like a dumb horny bro as well. Something about that was only making her dick harder.
After which her hand moved just a tad bit lower towards her balls. Her fat, full jock balls. She couldn’t quite explain it but something about holding them in her hand made her feel… comfortable? And the feeling of swinging them between her legs even made her feel more confident in a strange way. Like they were a literal source of pride. “I can’t believe there’s cum inside these things…”
What followed was a scene of Kim showing off to herself in the mirror like an absolute man whore. She particularly enjoyed flexing her now massive biceps, the sight of which was driving her crazy with lust. “Fuck yeahhh! I feel so fucking huge and powerful! I always wondered how jacked dudes felt having giant fucking muscles like this.” She relished in the immense strength she felt flowing through her arms as she flexed them. Even keeping her left arm flexed as he used her right to jerk off her new cock some more to her own reflection.
“And these legs?! Jesus I could probably crush a melon between these thighs.” She ran a hand down the massive trunks, flexing them a little as she admired her thick quads and strong calves which led down to a pair of feet that were easily 4 sizes bigger than the ones she’d had a year ago. However this then caused her hands to wander towards her backside and immediately upon groping it she couldn’t stop herself from turning around to take a look in the mirror. “And I’ve got a jock butt!” She wailed, letting out her more feminine side for a second before inspecting it some more. Her hands cupped the large muscular globes from below before jiggling them, allowing the reflection of it to captivate her. A buff straight jock jiggling his ass towards a mirror. It was perfect.
Speaking of which, as Kim continued to jerk her cock, she began to notice Garret’s sexuality setting in. Part of her had been expecting this. She knew Garret was straight from what she’d seen so she was expecting to become straight as well. Only… that’s not what happened. Not only had she been enjoying her own body way too much for a straight man but she also found the idea of getting to use her new manly form to hook up with other dudes to be insanely hot! Yet despite that she couldn’t help thinking about tits and pussy as well just like a straight guy. All of it was hot!
That’s when it hit her. Garret wasn’t straight. He was Bi! He must’ve hidden that gay side out of fear of being seen differently. Perhaps just finding it easier to fit into that social norm of being a straight guy. But secretly he’d always wanted to fuck other dudes ass’ just as much as he did pussy. Maybe even more so. And now Kim did as well.
By this point Kim had completely given in to his new cock. Jerking it off obsessively while continuing to admire his reflection. Not much of a surprise considering he’d never dealt with one before, making it easy for him to fall into the temptation of it all. The feeling of having something long and hard between his legs that could penetrate someone was exhilarating. Just the thought of slipping it inside someone had his mind reeling. Being able to thrust in and out of someone and completely dominate them with his strength and size. Hell, even the thought of someone doing that to him right now was making him horny. Another dude slamming his cock into his jock butt. He could finally find out if the male g-spot really felt as good as everyone says.
“OH FUCKK!” Kim shouted as he continued jerking his dick furiously. All the while continuing the flex and pec bounce. “I’M GONNA CUM! I’M GONNA CUM! I’M GONNA- GAUHHHHHHHHHH!” He roared before doing exactly that. He let go of his dick and quickly tossed both arms up into a double bicep flex as an eruption of cum exploded from his cock. Thick heavy ropes of ball batter splashed across the mirror before Kim intentionally turned to face the pumpkin as he shot another rope. Cum splattered across the pumpkin, coating the real Garret in his own seed as he’s forced to watch helplessly as his former body unloads. “FUCKKK BROOOOO!”
It took Kim a few minutes to catch his breath after that. “That… was… amazing…” He claimed between heavy breathes as he basked in the afterglow of his first male orgasm. He had to admit it felt rather different from the female orgasms he’d been used to before but it felt just as incredible. Just the feeling of firing that milky white substance from his cock was euphoric.
Once Kim had a chance to catch his bearings a bit, he started to clean up a little. Quickly wiping up most of the cum including what had gotten on the pumpkin. He had a little fun playing with soft dick, loving how cute it looked now it’s shrunk down to its flaccid and far less intimidating size. After which he grabbed Garret’s underwear again and pulled them back up quickly.
“Wow… this face is just… wow.” he commented as he stared back into the mirror once again, getting right up close to it this time. It was so different to the face he’d had originally. His features were so much sharper and deeper. His jaw was wider. His eyes were more… piercing? At least with his hair being so short now it should be a lot easier to maintain. And the beard! God he loved the beard. Something about it just made him feel that much more manly. He always loved a man with a bit of facial hair and now he was one. Overall he just adored the masculine look to it. It was as if he’d become the very object of his desire. A complete fucking hunk.
“I’ll tell you what Garret, I think I'm gonna love being you.” he said to the pumpkin. “I’m hot and jacked but most of all, I’m a man!” Kim grinned. “No more periods, no more pregnancy worries and no more bullshit expectations women have to live up to. Instead I get to have huge muscles and a fat cock that I can use to dump a load into any hole I want and most of all I get a whole lot male privilege.” he reached down and grabbed his bulge with a sly grin. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to keep this body in good shape.” he promised having already felt a strange urge to lift and workout upon taking this body. “Hey, there’s always next Halloween. Maybe then you’ll be able to find a new body just like me.” he half taunted him.
Just then there was a loud knock on the door. “GARRET?! YOU IN THERE? HURRY UP DUDE!” Someone shouted from the other side.
“Shit. Better get back out there. Let’s hope I can get used to walking with a dick and balls before people start asking questions.” The new Garret laughed while picking the pumpkin back up. “Hope you don’t mind if I use you for the rest of the party. You’re kinda my costume.” He chuckled before slipping the cursed pumpkin back on his head.
And with that Garret stumbled his way out of the bathroom and into the party once more where he would continue to mingle with the other guests. None of which had any clue as to what had gone down. And soon enough he’d toss aside the memories of his former life as a woman to truly integrate himself into this new life flawlessly. The life of a hot jock bro who’s only cares in the world are fucking and getting even more swole. Only now that life might include a lot more men than it did before.
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I know I’m on a break right now but I couldn’t help cooking up a hot Halloween story. Hope you all enjoyed!
If you love my stories then please consider supporting me on Patreon as well!! ❤️
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piratefishmama · 9 months
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Fake it till you make it | Part 11
“Be careful, Eddie” were Wayne’s words as he hugged his nephew goodbye, knowing he wouldn’t see him for a whole week and honestly still being a little worried about it “if you think even for one minute that something’s off, just… just get out of there, alright?”
“I know, I know, I’ll bolt through the woods and hitchhike my way home, I know the way, Wayne, I got this.” He could read a compass, he’d be able to get a map from any gas station and head home, he was resourceful, an adult, he could handle himself.
“Damn right you got this, son. But… be careful in other ways too, alright? Steve’s a charmin boy, but… remember this ain’t real.” Eddie had bitten his bottom lip at that one, brows furrowed in thought, those big brown eyes of his swirling in emotion, he never did hide his feelings well, it’d always be a little real for him. “Protect this” Wayne poked his chest with a gentle prod, right over Eddie’s heart “okay?”
“Mhm, I will…” he’d try to anyway. Steve really was… charming. An his kisses? God his kisses… but also... it really was the closest he’d ever been to what romance ought to be, what a relationship ought to be, he never thought he’d have that.
The world didn’t appear to be moving fast enough for him to truly experience romance as most people did.
He had to remember that he didn’t have that.
“Eddie! C’mon you’re in the back with me!” Steve called from the garage door, behind which the car was rumbling, their bags packed into the back, Steve’s parents already inside, ready to go. The longest Eddie had ever been away from Wayne since arriving in Hawkins, was three days during a weekend trip to Indy with the band to play at a slightly bigger venue than the Hideout as a one off.
A favour for his favourite gay bar when a live act they’d scheduled pulled out last minute. It hadn’t gotten them a lot of exposure, but it’d been a fun and enlightening night for the band.
“Best get on, son, I’ll see you in a week. Call when you can alright? Don’t care if you wake me up or about no damn time zones, just call, I’ll answer, an if I don’t, you know the plant’s number.” Tight lipped, strained smile, Eddie nodded quickly then turned on his heel and graced Steve with a brilliant smile, game on.
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“I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but... did we miss a turning?” Eddie may have been unusually quiet for the first leg of their journey, nerves having hit him like a truck the second they pulled out of Loch Nora, but he was paying attention to his surroundings.
And those surroundings, were all too quickly, Fort Wayne International Airport.
“You don’t honestly expect rich people to drive the whole way to Canada do you?” Steve’s voice was amused and came from so very close to his ear that he actually jumped, quickly turning in his seat, back plastered against his side of the back seat, eyes wide as he took in and processed what Steve said. “Plus, what would you rather do, spend nearly two days in a car with my parents—”
“We’d make wonderful road trip companions, don’t be rude Steven” came his mother’s interruption
Steve ignored it in favour of continuing his point “—orr… around ten hours in one of those with a brief stop off in Chicago.” Steve leaned inward, uncaring of personal space as he pointed to a plane, ascending into the heavens from the runway.
“I don’t—” he didn’t know. He’d never been on a plane before. Trips like that, across country, they were the stuff of road trip legend, but Steve had a point…
Two whole days of a trip stuck in a car. Or just ten hours. Eddie’s eyes skipped to the window again, to the plane now disappearing beyond the overcast cloud cover.
“It’ll be okay, Eds, I’ll sit right next to you the whole time, you’ll be okay.”
“What if we crash? What if it falls out of the sky? What’ll you do?”
“My best to keep you safe.” It was so earnest, coupled with Steve gently taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, eyes so full of raw honesty, of understanding, it hit Eddie directly in all his soft gooey bits. “I’ll hold your hand through the whole ten hours if you want.”
“Even during the stop in Chicago?”
“Hah, yeah baby, even during the stop in Chicago.”
“They’re a lot more openminded in Chicago too!” Lynda spoke up without turning her head, allowing Eddie to not get stuck on baby for too long “might get a few looks from people passing through the airport but nobody will say anything, and if they do, they deal with us.”
“If we had enough time during the stop we’d have taken a trip around the city, let you boys see some of the sights we’ve seen, but alas, our connection gives us an hour at most depending on everything being on time, and that’s just enough time to get us from one gate to the next.” John added as he pulled into the long stay parking lot. “Maybe some other time, some other family trip, eh Eddie?”
Eddie’s wide eyes turned to the front of the car, then back to Steve again, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise. Not surprise over the words used, but the feeling those words caused. Family trip. They were including him on future family trips.
Steve’s eyes quickly snapped from him to the front of the car and back again, then a warm smile blossomed on his lips. He lifted his hand and ever so carefully brushed a stray curl back behind Eddie’s ear, and asked so softly as his thumb lowered to brush along his jawline. “Right, Eddie?”
“Y-yeah… yeah I’d… I’d love that.” He turned his head fully toward the drivers seat, he’d never been too good at hiding his emotions, so maybe he was just a little choked up when he accepted the offer “I’d really love that.”
“Great!” The car came to a stop in one of the many parking bays, ignition off, driver side door opened “It’s settled then.” Settled. Eddie would privately mourn the knowledge that it’d never come to fruition, but… on the surface he could pretend he was excited for a future trip for the sake of the ruse. “Now boys if you could get the bigger bags out the trunk that’d be a big help! This back of mine isn’t as sturdy as it used to be.”
“You’re forty-six and go jogging almost every morning, don’t be stupid John.” Lynda whapped her husband with her handbag in gentle, semi-amused admonishment before getting out of the car.
Followed by her husband who, in a hushed tone replied with “don’t tell them that, Lynda, save us the work.” Leaving the two boys to breathe soft laughs between themselves before they too joined the older couple out in the parking lot.
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“Steve...” Eddie hissed as they neared check-in.
“What?”
“I have weed” said through his teeth.
“What?” Steve paused.
“I have weed… I have weed in my suitcase.”
“You have what?!” Steve rounded on him, sentence ended with a pointed hiss
“I didn’t know we’d be flying to Canada, Steve, maybe you should tell people when you’re planning on launching them into the troposphere in a death tube!”
“Why would you bring weed on a holiday with my parents, Eddie?!”
“SHHHH, be quiet. I thought I might need it to chill out if I was freaking out at some point during the week like right now, I could really do with it right now.”
“Oh my god.”
“Steven? Is something wrong?” Lynda’s voice had them both snapping to attention, eyes wide, caught in the act. Luckily she had no idea what that ‘act’ was.
“Nope! No, uh, Eddie’s just gotta… use the bathroom real quick.”
“Well, there’s bathrooms in the business class lounge he can—"
“No! It’s uhm, it’s urgent, can’t wait, he’s uh…”
“Nerves, it’s uh, it’s nerves, I think imma hurl” she looked between them with a small frown on her face, assessing them both, it seemed like whatever she found wasn’t worth arguing about though, because she waved them off with a quick flick of her wrist.
“Alright fine, hurry up. Steven you know where the closest ones are go on now quickly before we’re late for check in, we’ll double check everything here.” John was already pausing to check through all their documents like a regular airport dad, it was the third time he’d done it since entering the airport.
“Alright let’s go, Eds, lets deal with your little problem.” At least he was soft-handed when he manhandled Eddie to the nearest bathroom, patchy suitcase with a squeaky wheel wobbling away behind them. Once inside, he checked each stall individually, before quickly turning on a wide eyed Eddie. “Where is it?” Eddie pointed down at the suitcase, and Steve snapped to action, lifting, and placing Eddie’s suitcase down on the slightly damp row of sinks. “Did you pack any liquid soaps?”
“Uhhh…” Eddie was too busy staring at the flex of Steve’s arms as he just. Lifted that whole very packed suitcase in one hoist. Fuck.
“Any shampoo? Conditioner?”
“I—I feel like my answer is going to make you mad so I’m just not going to answer.” Which on its own, was a pretty damning answer, and Steve’s expression told him as such “I don’t have a twelve step hair care routine like you do, Steve! I just… I have drug store shampoo and conditioner and that’s really only when it’s on a two for one sale! Usually I just—"
“If you say you water it down to make it last longer I’m going to throw the first thing I find in this suitcase at you.”
“Shutting up. I just thought I’d buy it there if I needed it, or just borrow yours, I know you brought some, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well then, I figured that… if I borrowed yours it’d make it seem like I just… wanted… to smell like you?”
“You just made that up.” Eddie just smiled, all teeth and dimples, scrunching his shoulders inwards in an unfairly cute display of mischief. “You’re a menace, Munson. Get your stuff out of there for me. Don’t ever put weed in checked luggage.”
“But—”
“TSA does random checks on checked luggage all the time, an while they’re not usually looking for weed, it’ll get launched and you might get fined. Whereas you can hide weed in just about anything in a carry on, just shows up as vague blurred shit on the x-ray scanners. Just be cool when you shove it through.” Steve was rummaging in the front of his own bag now, “be cool, and act natural.”
“You sound like you’ve done this before.”
“Mn once or twice, Tommy was a dick, but his cousin worked for the TSA for a few years, gave us all kinds’a neat tricks to get things through the airport.” Tommy’s cousin had gotten fired and a year inside for attempting to smuggle narcotics out of the confiscated items lock up, but that was neither here nor there. “Gimmie what you have.” Hand outstretched, Steve waited until Eddie placed the single baggie containing three roll ups and a few loose buds “Christ Eddie.”
“I knew I’d be nervous! Stop being mean to me!” Steve rolled his eyes before taking the three roll ups out of the baggie
“Your smokes, give em.” Plenty of room in the pack to slot the three roll ups, and as for the buds, Steve emptied out his travel sized bottle of hand lotion into the sink and stuffed the whole plastic bag into the little bottle, then screwed the lid on tight. Nobody would look twice at a rich kids hand lotion. “Now wet the ends of your hair.”
“What?”
“Your hair butthead! Wet it, we told my mother you’d be in here hurling your guts up, so… you got some in your hair, it’s a good extra to add to the ruse, now do it.”
“So my own boyfriend wouldn’t even hold my hair back if I threw up? Where’s the romance, where’s the commitment, where’s the care and—”
“Dude you have a lot of hair, I doubt I could get it all in my hand at once.” Although now that thought was in his head… could he? Could he get a good fistful and hold it there? Not important. “I’d drop bits.” A flimsy argument, he wouldn’t drop anything.
“Uh-huh, sure you would, big boy.” Eddie quickly dampened the tips of his hair, and ran a wet hand through his bangs quickly in a bid to fake flop sweat, theatrics over and done with. “Zipper-up, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”
Part 13
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inevitablesurrender · 5 months
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I gotta get back to actually posting about dumb mudane out of bounds adventures sometime... The thrills of the crane, etc.
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davenporttf · 9 months
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MLB Secrets: Alex
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I'm going to let you in on two secrets I've been holding close my entire life: I'm gay, and I have a superpower. One of those is not that big of a deal except in a sports environment, and the other makes me sounds like I'm crazy. I don't know how to describe it, but I noticed growing up I was able to manipulate others to be a different version of themselves. All it took was wishing for it to happen in my mind and it would become their reality.
Now, I'm the first baseman for the local AAA team, the Blue Pirates. I've never used my superpower to get ahead in sports. That would be crossing a line. But I have been feeling pretty sexually repressed these days, and I think I'm overdue for some fun.
Today was a long day for the team. We lost the game in a landslide, and everyone was feeling like crap. The whole team left the locker room except for my buddy, Dylan, and I. Dylan is our center outfielder and we hang occasionally. I haven't told anyone on my team that I'm gay, and consequently I don't date really for fear of being seen. Today I could use a mood booster though.
Dylan was talking to me about his recent fishing trip when I started to wish for him to be a horny power bottom. He stopped talking suddenly as if his brain was recalculating. When he snapped out of it, he looked at me with a hunger in his eyes.
"You thinking what I'm thinking big boy?" I said with a smirk.
"I'm thinking you need to pitch me your best game, sexy" he said as he turned around and brushed his ass against my throbbing 8 inch cock. I wrapped my bat against his chest and pushed him into me as I brought my lips to his.
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Fuck, he tasted so good. His stubble brushed against mine and I could feel him move his ass up and down around my cock. I could spend all day teasing him but the thought of being caught was becoming too much.
"Let's take this back to my place." I suggested. His face was telling me he wanted me to fuck him here and now, but he quickly threw on his shirt and grabbed his bag. "I'll drive sexy" he said smiling.
We made our way to his truck and I jumped in to the passenger side. It was a 10 minute drive to my place from the fields but I couldn't wait to get the party started. I looked at him and wished for him to be flooded with overactive balls and a large cock. He squirmed in pleasure as his balls dropped and his legs spread out to allow them room. I then ducked down to unbutton his baseball pants and let his now 9 inch cock out. It was go time! I took his giant cock into my mouth as he tried to maintain control of the road.
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I sucked and twirled my head around his head and tasted the salty precum from his dick. His balls were working overtime and he had a constant flow of pre coming out. I bobbed up and down and sucked with the energy of a DL gay in need of a dick. Dylan moaned as he felt himself getting close. I went for the finisher and took his whole cock into my throat. "OH FUCKKKK" he screamed as his jizz erupted into my throat. I felt his cock pulsate as shot after shot of what had to be the biggest load I've ever taken shot into my mouth. I brought my head up as Dylan regained control of the truck smiling at me. "Fuck, bro. We need to get to your house quick."
We pulled into my driveway and rushed inside. Dylan walked into my room and plopped onto my bed. "Let's see what you got"
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He smelled rank from the game and I took no time to dive into worshiping his body. I pressed his socks against my face and licked his feet from heel to toes. I could taste all the hours of sweat from the game we just played. I gripped the bottom of his stirrup socks with my teeth, and snapped them back against his sole. The snap made him wiggle in pleasure and anticipation. "Stop teasing me, big boy!"
I crawled forward to start kissing his inner thighs. I looked at him and met his eyes. "You have an extremely sensitive hole and cheeks." I thought, and watched as he squirmed side to side.
"Fuck, dude. I need you inside me!" Dylan said breathlessly. I unbuckled and brought his pants down to his ankles. Flipping him over, I pulled him up on all fours.
"Anything for the team" I said as I pushed my throbbing cock into his hungry hole. Dylan bursted out in a loud moan, "Oooooh Fuckk!" He was precumming in his jock as I thrusted into him. My thighs clapping against his sensitive ass was heaven for me but ecstasy for Dylan. His hole gripped on my cock bringing me to the edge. I grabbed his hips and did one last deep thrust into him. I exploded into his ass, breeding him like the bottom bitch his life had become. He could resume his normal life tomorrow, but tonight he was my boytoy.
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iamalivenow · 2 years
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alive can i have new podcast recs please i want new podcast recs please please can i have new podcast recs please horror and also gay
so tma ended, now what? horror podcast recommendation list part 3 oh my god they made more of these things
malevolent - i think people are already turned on to this one because its slowly becoming the new big thing imo. malevolent is about a guy named arthur who fucked up and got his eyes stolen by an eldritch abomination that is also now physically tethered to him and they dont like each other enough to just live like that so they go on an adventure to try and unstick themselves from each other. its a lovecraftian mythos story, so thats the type of horror you're getting. it's not a comedy and its not a romance but it both is a comedy and is a romance you know what i mean? 10/10 can you believe its just one guy doing all of these voices
red valley - red valley is about a guy named warden who works in a weird government agency tasked with trying to find a seed vault that very quickly becomes not a regular seed vault. the characters in this one are all so well written and the gut punches kill me. this is a bit more near future(ish) scifi than regular horror, but while you're listening to it turn into a road trip you're going to be like "alive this isn't scary" and right around that time is when they're going to introduce truly what is one of the most fucked up concepts i've ever heard. 10/10 the british people made me cry again
out of place - okay so stop me if you've heard this one before. there's a british guy working in an archive where he gets weird kind of scary things and his archive institution is shady and there are tapes and its not mag again i swear. out of place starts much the same but instead of getting scary bullshit, andrew starts receiving historical artifacts from different alternate history realities. its fantastic world building, good story telling, and just like. existential dread nightmare after existential dread nightmare. 10/10 i can't listen to this in the grocery story because i will just stare of into space and sigh for twenty minutes at a time.
they're all ongoing and at around 20ish episodes right now and i love them. i only do these rec posts when i can find at least three shows so sorry for how long this ask took to get to <3
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dirtybitfic · 4 months
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MASTER LIST 💋
Here’s a master list yall I hope I’m linking them correctly idek y’all if they don’t open lmk 💋 cause a bitch is 🎀stupid 🎀
ABOUT ME
Things I won’t write-
~Big age gaps - I will only write about shit that I legal mk
~Weird kinks like piss and stuff cause that’s disgusting
~incest for obvious reasons
~ not story’s about Nick cause I ain’t a man and idk shit about gay sex 🤘🏼
😈= smutt
🥰=fluff and cute no smutt
😼=really fucking slutty and read at your own risk
😃- Kinda slow burn take a couple parts to really get into the smut .
One shots ~
😈Boots with the fur -Chris Sturniolo x y/n fic
😈😼Concert love- Chris and Matt x y/n fic
😼😈Hallowseve- Matt sturniolo x y/n fix
🥰Linger- Matt sturniolo x y/n fic
😈😼Hit me I dare you- Matt sturniolo x y/n
😼😈Ghost-face
😈😼Need it
😼😈 Study session
😈😼Impromptu trip- chris & matt x y/n
😈😼 Lets get horny
😈😼 Here for a good time not a long time
Multiple parts story’s~
😼😈part 1-Rave- chris sturniolo x fem reader
Part 2- Rave
😈😼Road trip part one and two-Matt sturniolo x y/n fic
Part 1
Part 2
😼😈Trip series-Chris sturniolo x y/n
Trip pt1
Trip pt.2
Trip pt3
trip pt4
😈😼Dinner party 2 parts series ~ Matt and Chris x y/n
part 1
part 2
😼😼😈neon red 2 parts- matt sturniolo x y/n
neon red part 1
neon red pt 2
😈😼Finally - Chris sturniolo x y/n ~two part series
part 1
part2
😈😼Therapy - matt sturniolo x Fem reader/y/n
Therapy pt.1
Therapy pt.2
therapy pt.3
therapy pt 4
therapy pt.5
😈😼So wrong yet so right
part 1
part 2
part 3
Part 4
Final part
😈😼😃Company
Part one
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mxlfoydraco · 1 year
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What are the sweetest, most fluffy, most tender fic recs you have? Hurt/comfort préférable but anything works
I'm a major angst reader so our definitions of fluff may vary! I'm adding on to these lists: Fluff & Hogwarts Era Fluff
Save My Wonders by @unmistakablyoatmeal(21k)
Immediately chocolate assaulted Draco’s senses. Warm melted chocolate mixed with his mother’s roses and… something else. Something new. Freshly scrubbed skin and maybe a faint sheen of sweat. It was so familiar… And it only intensified when Potter came up behind him.
Two of Us by @sorrybutblog (5k)
The gang goes to a gay bar. Or: five times Harry accidentally pretended to be Draco’s boyfriend and one time Draco told him to put out or shut up.
All Things Go by @sorrybutblog (32k)
Draco’s back at Hogwarts by court order. Harry’s back for no particular reason at all. Some things change, some stay the same. Neither expects to spend eighth-year living in close quarters, playing rugby (poorly), staying up late, sneaking around, and finally figuring it all out.
Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by @onbeinganangel (10k)
Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?
Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (83k)
This is not a story about Harry renovating Grimmauld Place. This is a story about coffee shops and brewpubs, about Ginny and Luna on a farm with creatures, about magical Oregon, coastal road trips, flying, friendship, and Draco Malfoy's lean arms.
the treehouse near primrose downs by @softlystarstruck (14k)
Draco and Harry have been roommates for years, so buying a magical house in the countryside shouldn’t be a big difference. But in between fresh loaves of bread and beds of wildflowers, things start to fall into place.
you bring me home by @softlystarstruck (35k)
Harry is happy. He has his cat cafe and his hobbies. He has his friends, and Dolly Parton, and a shirt with a cowboy frog on it. It’s all a man needs, really. He doesn’t need to obsess over a magic-less, anxious Draco Malfoy coming into his cafe after disappearing from the wizarding world years ago. He doesn’t. Not even if the cats like Malfoy. Not even if Malfoy is soft, and funny, and a little bit neurotic. No matter how much he wants to obsess.
With Great Yawns and Stretchings by @sugar-screw (22k)
The coffee is very good. Really. And the cats are so cute. That's why Harry goes so often.
I Think I Want to Marry You by @phdmama (6k)
5 times Harry Potter asks Draco Malfoy to marry him and Draco doesn't answer. And then the one time he does.
Meddling, Menswear, and Magic by @writcraft (18k)
Draco Malfoy is working in a job he hates and avoiding the magical world entirely, but he really is fine. When a bequest from Severus Snape brings Draco back to a much-changed magical world, he must find his place within it and navigate his growing attraction to Harry Potter in the process.
Constellations on your skin by @orange-peony (56k)
“I’m going to get my scars removed,” Draco announces on a rainy Wednesday afternoon. “Who are you seeing?” Blaise asks. “The best Healer out there,” Draco replies with a little shrug. “Harry Potter.”
Sweeten to Taste by @saintgarbanzo (51k)
It starts with Draco's buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he's hungry for more.
The Little Marauders Nursery and Day Care by @digthewriter (9k)
Harry Potter is the proud owner of The Little Marauders Nursery and Day Care and his favourite student is Scorpius Malfoy. Scorpius’s dad might be okay, too.
Sourdough by @academicdisasterfic (17k)
Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.
The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by @cibeewastaken (19k)
Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved! So Draco decides to boldly go where no one has gone before: to put himself through scrutiny; their friends’ teasing and pranks; unsound romantic advice from a house-elf; wearing pretty clothes; all to try and win Potter’s heart through courtship. (An unnamed ginger bastard can be heard yelling from afar: “This is actually a detailed guide on how not to court someone!”) But who cares about the opinions of redheads? Literally no one.
Nice Things by aideomai (22k)
The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.
Thermodynamic Equilibrium by @dorthyanndrarry (5k)
Harry's far too hot. Draco's always cold. And somehow against all odds, together they create a perfect equilibrium.
Stay (With Me) by @dorthyanndrarry (6k)
Harry and Draco have been seeing each other casually, whenever they bumped into one another at Galas and Balls and other social events, always keeping one another at a careful distance. But one step forward seems to remove all space between them, sending them crashing together with an almost inevitable gravity.
If It Takes All Night by @tackytigerfic (10k)
It's not the first time Harry's been the victim of a botched curse (that's one of the reasons he doesn't like crowds), but he feels bad that Malfoy had to get caught up in it too. So they're bonded. That's ok, they just have to make sure to be touching at all time. No problem. Because Malfoy smells so nice, and has such lovely shiny hair, and his skin is so very warm. But this isn't going to be a problem for their friendship at all. Is it, Harry?
Espresso Patronum by @tasteofshapes (15k)
When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.
The Charm Conundrum by dysonrules (8k)
Harry misplaces an interesting "self-help" manual. Draco finds it and discovers some fascinating insights into Harry Potter.
Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by @greaseonmymouth (96k)
Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry. Features: Little League Quidditch, an abundance of bath bombs, happy endings, and gay robots in space.
Harry Potter’s biggest fan by @gnarf (9k)
Ever since Scorpius heard about Harry Potter for the first time from one of his friends, one could say that he was his biggest fan. So naturally, it would be the thing he needs to talk about while visiting his grandparents for Sunday dinner. Draco’s father could not hold back the comments on why he had to go through this again, and Scorpius understood just enough to know that his father actually knew Harry Potter in person. That’s when the pestering started. Not much later and Draco found himself face to face with Potter, all thanks to his son.
Sunseeker by @shiftylinguini (15k)
Harry is a struggling writer. Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend's concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to. He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem.
All Roads Lead Home by dracogotgame (14k)
Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.
Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by @nv-md (18k)
It’s not easy to be bonded to your childhood rival, turned fuckbuddy, who you also have extremely uncomfortable but repressed feelings for—just ask Draco Malfoy.
Nyctophilia by prolonged_autumn (107k)
Everyone's back for 8th year, and Harry and his friends seem determined to spend their last year in school running around at night, hyped up on coffee and alcohol and Honeydukes candy, doing all the childish things they didn't have the chance to do before. Draco watches as he's always watched: from afar, quiet and bitter and hopelessly in love. That is, until Pansy decides she's had quite enough of it.
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fairytale-poll · 9 months
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ROUND 2! MATCH 1 OUT OF 8
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Propaganda Under the Cut:
Bugs:
So the story is that the Three Little Pigs sell Bugs their straw and wood houses, the Big Bad Wolf blows them down, and Bugs decides to get revenge - by dressing himself up as Little Red Riding Hood, getting the Wolf to play his part in that story, and then messing with him as only Bugs can. Here's the video if you've never seen it: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6vk41x
Bugs Bunny is an icon and he was so good for his role in this short. When he and the wolf realized they could work together against the pigs... oh my God. Come on Tumblr, you have to admit they had a little gay tension between them. Besides, at the end, when the brick house comes down and the wolf, so surprised and proud of himself exclaims "I did it!" and then it pans over to Bugs with the bomb and he slyly adds "We did it!" communist Bugs canon.
Red:
I'm pretty sure she uses her hood as a parachute at some point. (A note from tournament Mod: She does.)
sillie
she is so iconic. to me at least (watched hoodwinked appx 500000000 times during family road trips)
This delivery girl knows karate! Watch Hoodwinked
my first exposure to a real adaption of a classic story in video. Girl twists the whole story up compared to the original. Love how it's like an old fashioned PI show but still so 2005 in vibes.
A classic fairy-tale-with-a-twist-movie that if anyone hasn't seen they should. This story takes various elements not just from Red Riding Hood's story but other fairy tales to retell the story with Red as the true center and hero of the story and reframes it as a mystery. It's also one of the few good retellings that makes the wolf good while not framing him as a love interest, which allows the plot to remain focused on Red.
best movie ever
Listen. I don't necessarily think she should win this movie is fucking insane and not all of that insanity is necessarily good. HOWEVER. I have a pitch for you. Wouldn't it be so fucking funny to put Red Puckett on this poll as a wild card? Like how many people would be like "fucking HOODWINKED?". Also what other tellings of red riding hood go the crime mystery route? Like cmon
She's the protagonist of what I believe is one of the funniest and best written films of all time. She's so smart and talented
The entire Hoodwinked series is just really funny to me. I also think she's an absolute badass as she knows kung-fu and takes no shit from the wolf. Also her granny appears above her when they are both flying and somehow she sees her as a big cloud head despite it just being her granny doing a ski jump. She had to be high because she met a weed loving Billy goat literally right before that.
the creators said 'what if red riding hood did karate and was voiced by Anne Hathaway' and simply did not wait for an answer.
because she's the funniest answer
Okay as a child I watched this movie and liked it a lot, but by coincidence, I happened to watch it on Eid twice in a row (I'm Muslim). So for a few years in a row I made it a tradition to watch this movie on Eid while drinking orange juice (very important piece of the puzzle). This movie is so dumb and goofy, I really enjoy it, and also she's voiced by Princess Mia Thermopolis herself.
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