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army-of-mai-lovers · 3 years

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Jet and Yue’s Deaths: Were They Necessary?

Two of the most common ideas I see for aus in this fandom are the Jet lives au, and the Yue lives au. I’ve written both of these myself, and I’ve seen many others write them. And while yes, fanfiction can be a great way to explore ideas that didn’t necessarily have to be explored in canon (I’m mad at bryke for a lot of things, but not including a Toph and Bumi I friendship is not one of them, even though I wrote a fic about it), it seems to me that people are mad that Yue and Jet are dead, to varying degrees. There’s a lot to talk about regarding their deaths from a sociopolitical perspective (the fact that two of the darker-skinned characters in the show are the ones that died, and all the light-skinned characters lived, is ah... an interesting choice), but I don’t want to look at it that way, at least for right now. I want to look at it as a writer, and discuss whether these deaths were a) necessary for the plot and themes of ATLA in any way whatsoever and b) whether it was necessary for them to unfold in the way that they did, or if they would have been more impactful had they occurred in a different way.

(meta under the cut, this got really, really, really long)

Death in Children’s Media

When I first started thinking about this meta, I had this idea to compare Jet and Yue’s deaths to deaths in an animated children’s show that I found satisfying. And in theory, that was a great idea. Problem is: there aren’t very many permanent deaths in children’s animation, and the ones that do exist aren’t especially well-written. This may be an odd thing to say in what is ostensibly a piece of atla crit, but Yue’s death is probably the best written death in a piece of children’s animation that I can think of. That’s not a compliment. Rather, it’s a condemnation of the way other pieces of children’s animation featuring permanent character death have handled their storylines.

I’ve talked about this before, but my favorite show growing up was Young Justice, and my favorite character on that show was far and away Mr. Wally West. So when he died at the end of season 2, it broke me emotionally. Shortly thereafter, Cartoon Network canceled the show, and I started getting on fan forums to mourn. Everybody on these fan forums was convinced that had Cartoon Network not canceled the show, Wally would have been brought back. And that is a narrative that I internalized for years. Eventually, the show was brought back via DC’s new streaming service, and I tuned in, waiting for Wally to also be brought back, only to discover that that wasn’t in the cards. Wally was dead. Permanently.

So now that I know that, I can talk about why killing him off was fucking stupid. Wally’s death occurs at the end of season 2, after the main s2 conflict, the Reach, has been defeated, save for these pods that they set up all over the world to destroy Earth. Our heroes split up in teams of two to destroy the pods, and they destroy all of them, except for a secret one in Antartica. It can only be neutralized by speedsters, so Wally, Bart, and Barry team up to destroy it. It’s established in canon that Wally is slower than Bart and Barry, and it’s been played for laughs earlier in the season, but for reasons unexplained, the pod is better able to target Wally because he’s slower than Bart and Barry, and it kills him. After the emotional arc of the season has wrapped up, a literal main character dies. There’s some indication at the end of that season that his death is going to cause Artemis to spiral and become a villain, but when season 3 picks up, she’s doing the right thing, with seemingly no qualms about her position in life as a hero. In the comics, something like this happens to Wally, but then he goes into the Speed Force and becomes faster and stronger even than Barry, in which case, yes, this would have advanced the plot, but that’s probably not in the cards either.

In summary, Wally’s death doesn’t work as a story beat, not because it made me mad, but because it doesn’t advance the plot, nor does it develop character. Only including things that advance plot or develop character is one of the golden rules of writing. Like most golden rules of writing, however, it’s not absolute. There is a lot of fun to be had in jokey little one off adventures (in atla, Sokka’s haiku competition) or in fun worldbuilding threads that add depth to your setting but don’t really come up (in atla, the existence of Whaletail Island, which is described in really juicy ways, even though the characters never go there.) But in general, when it comes to things like character death, events should happen to develop the plot or advance character. Avatar, for all of its flaws, is really well structured, and a lot of its story beats advance plot and develop character at the same time. However, the show also bears the burden of being a show directed at children, and thus needing to be appropriate for children. And as we know, Nickelodeon and bryke butted heads over this: the death scene that we see for Jet is a compromise, one that implicitly confirms his death without explicitly showing it. So bryke tasked themselves with creating a show about imperialism and war that would do those themes justice while also being appropriate for American children and palatable to their parents.

The Themes of Avatar vs. Its Audience

So, Avatar is a show about a lone survivor of genocide stopping an imperialist patriarchal society from decimating the rest of the world. It’s also a show about found family and staying true to yourself and doing your best to improve the world. These don’t necessarily conflict with each other, and it is possible for children to understand and enjoy shows about complex themes. And in a lot of cases, bryke doesn’t hold back in showing what the costs of war against an imperialist nation are: losing loved ones, losing yourself, prison, etc. But when it comes to death, the show is incredibly hesitant. None of the main characters that we’ve spent a lot of time getting to know die (not even Iroh, even though he was old and it would have made sense and his VA died before the show was over--but that’s a topic for another day.) This makes sense. I can totally imagine a seven year-old watching Avatar as it was coming out and feeling really sad or scared if a major character died. I was six years older than that when Wally died, and it’s still sad and terrifying to me to this day. However, in a show about war, it would be unrealistic to have no one die. Bryke’s stated reason for killing off Jet is to show the costs of war. I’ve seen a lot of posts about Jet’s death that reiterate some version of this same point--that the great tragedy of his character is that he spent his life fighting the Fire Nation, only to die at the hands of his own country. Similarly, I’ve seen people argue in favor of Yue’s death by saying that it was a great tragedy, but it showed the sacrifices that must be made in a war effort.

Yue

When we first meet Yue, she is a somewhat reserved, kind individual held back by the rigid social structures of the NWT*. She and Sokka have an immediate attraction to one another, but Yue reveals that she is engaged to Hahn. The Fire Nation invasion happens, Zhao kills Tui, and Yue gives up her life to save her people and the world, and to restore balance. Since we didn’t have a lot of time to get to know Yue, this is framed less as Yue’s sacrifice and more as Sokka’s loss. Sokka is the one who cares for Yue, Sokka is the only one of the gaang who really interacts a lot with Yue on screen, and Sokka is the one we’ve spent a whole season getting to know. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call Yue a prop character (i.e. a character who could be replaced by an object with little change to the narrative), she is certainly underdeveloped. She exists to be unambiguously likable and good, so we can root for her and Sokka, and feel Sokka’s pain when she dies. In my opinion, this is probably also why a lot of fic that features Yue depicts her as a Mary Sue--because as she is depicted in the show, she kind of is. We don’t get to see her hidden depths because she is written to die.

In light of what we’ve established earlier in this meta, this makes sense. Killing off a fully-realized character whom the audience has really gotten to know and care about on their own terms, rather than through the eyes of another character, could be really sad and scary for the kids watching, but not killing anyone off would be an unrealistic depiction of war and imperialism. On the face of it, killing off an underdeveloped, unambiguously likable and good character, whom one of our MCs has a deep but short connection with, is the perfect compromise.

But let’s go back to the golden rule for a second. Does Yue’s death a) advance the plot, and/or b) develop character? The answer to the first is yes: Yue’s death prompts Aang to use the Avatar State to fight off the Fire navy, which has implications for his ability to control the Avatar State that form one of the major arcs of book 2. The answer to the second? A little more ambiguous. You would think that Yue’s death would have some lasting impact on Sokka that is explored as part of his character arc in book 2, that he may be more afraid to trust, more scared of losing the people he loves, but outside of a few episodes (really, just one I can think of, “The Swamp”) it doesn’t seem to affect him that much. He even asks about Suki in a way that is clearly romantically motivated in “Avatar Day.” I don’t know about you, but if someone I loved sacrificed herself to become the moon, I don’t think I would be seeking out another romantic entanglement a few weeks after her death. Of course, everybody processes grief differently, and one could argue that Sokka has already lost important people in his life, and thus would be accustomed to moving on from that loss and not letting himself dwell on it. But to that, I’d say that moving on by throwing himself into protecting others has already shown itself to be an unhealthy coping mechanism. Remember, Sokka’s misogyny at the beginning of b1 is in part motivated by the fact that his mother died at the hands of the Fire Nation and his father left shortly thereafter to fight the Fire Nation, and he responds to those things by throwing himself into the role of being the “man” of the village and protecting the people he loves who are still with him. Like with Yue, he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on his mother’s death. This could have been the beginning of a really interesting b2 arc for Sokka, in which he throws himself into being the Avatar’s companion to get away from the grief of losing Yue, but this time, through the events of the show, he’s forced to acknowledge that this is an unhealthy coping mechanism. And maybe this is what bryke was going for with “The Swamp”, but this confines his whole process of grief to one episode, where it could have been a season-long arc that really emphasized the effect Yue’s had on his life.

In the case of Yue, I do lean toward saying that her death was necessary for the story that they wanted to tell (although, I will never turn down a good old-fashioned Yue lives au that really gets into her dynamism as a character, those are awesome.) However, the way they wrote Sokka following Yue’s death reduced her significance. The fact that Yue seemed to have so little impact on Sokka is precisely what makes her death feel unnecessary, even if it isn’t.

Jet

Okay. Here we go.

If you know my blog, you know I love Jet. You know I love Jet lives aus. Perhaps you know that I’m in the process of writing a multichapter Jet fic in which he lives after Lake Laogai. So it’s reasonable to assume that, in a discussion of whether or not Jet’s death was necessary, I’m gonna be mega-biased. And yeah, that’s probably true. But up until recently, I wasn’t really all that mad about Jet dying, at least conceptually. As I said earlier, bryke says that in the case of Jet’s death, they wanted to kill a character off that people knew and would care about, so that they could further show the tragedies of war and imperialism. Okay. That is not, in and of itself, a bad idea.

My issue lies with the execution of said idea. First of all, the framing of Jet’s original episode is so bad. Jet is part of a long line of cartoon villains who resist imperialism and other forms of oppression through violence and are punished for it. This is actually a really common sort of villain for atla/lok, as we see this play out again with Hama, Amon, and the Red Lotus. To paraphrase hbomberguy’s description of this type of villain, basically liberal white creators are saying, “yeah, oppression is bad, but have you tried writing to your Congressman about it?” With Jet, since we have so little information about the village he’s trying to flood, there are a number of different angles that would explain his actions and give them more nuance. My preferred hc is that the citizens of Gaipan are a mix of Earth civilians, Fire citizens, and FN soldiers, and that the Earth citizens refused to feed or house Jet and the other Freedom Fighters because they were orphans and, as we see in the Kyoshi Novels, Earth families stick to their own. Thus, when Jet decides to flood Gaipan, he’s focused on ridding the valley of Fire Nation, but he doesn’t really care about what happens to the Earth citizens of Gaipan because they actively wronged him when he was a kid. That’s just one interpretation, and there have been others: Gaipan was fully Fire Nation, Gaipan was both Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation but Jet decided that the benefits of flooding the valley and getting rid of the Fire Nation outweighed the costs of losing the EK families, etc, etc. There are ways to rewrite that scenario so that Jet is not framed as an unambiguously bloodthirsty monster. In the context of Jet’s death, this initial framing reduces the possible impact that his death could have. Where Yue was unambiguously good, Jet is at the very least morally gray when we see him again in the ferry. And where we are connected to Yue through Sokka, the gaang’s active hatred of Jet hinders our ability to connect with him. This isn’t impossible to overcome--the gaang hates Zuko, and yet to an extent the audience roots for him--but Jet’s lack of screentime and nuanced framing (both of which Zuko gets in all three seasons) makes overcoming his initially flawed framing really difficult.

So how much can it really be said, that by the time we get to Jet’s death, he’s a character that we know and care about? So much about him is still unknown (what happened to the Freedom Fighters? what prompted Jet’s offscreen redemption? who knows, fam, who knows.) Moreover, most of what we see of him in Ba Sing Se is him actively opposing Zuko and Iroh. These are both characters that at the very least the show wants us to care about. At this point, we know almost everything there is to know about them, we’ve been following them and to an extent rooting for them for two seasons, and who have had nuanced and often sympathetic framing a number of times. So much of the argument I’ve seen regarding Jet centers around the fact that he was right to expose Zuko and Iroh as Firebenders, but the reason we have to have that argument in the first place is because it’s not framed in Jet’s favor. In terms of who the audience cares about more, who the audience has more of an emotional attachment towards, Zuko and Iroh win every time. Whether Jet’s actually in the right or not is irrelevant, because emotionally speaking, we’re primed to root for Zuko and Iroh. In terms of who the framing is biased towards, Jet may as well be Zhao. So when he’s taken by the Dai Li and brainwashed, the audience isn’t necessarily going to see this as a bad thing, because it means Zuko and Iroh are safe.

The only real bit of sympathetic framing Jet gets are those initial moments on the ferry, and the moments after he and the gaang meet again. So about five, ten minutes of the show, total. And then, he sacrifices himself for the gaang. And just like Yue, his death has little to no impact on the characters in the episodes following. Katara is shown crying for four frames immediately following his death, and they bring him up once in “The Southern Raiders” to call him a monster, and once in “The Ember Island Players”, a joke episode in which his death is a joke.

So, let’s ask again. Does this a) advance the plot, and/or b) develop character? The answer to both is no. It shows that the Dai Li is super evil and cruel, which we already knew and which basically becomes irrelevant in book 3, and that is really the only plot-significant thing I can think of. As far as character, well, it could have been a really interesting moment in Katara’s development in forgiving someone who hurt her in the past, which could have foreshadowed her forgiving Zuko in b3, but considering she calls Jet a monster in TSR, that doesn’t track. There could have been something with Sokka realizing that his snap judgment of Jet in b1 was wrong, but considering that he brings up Jet to criticize Katara in TSR, that also does not track. And honestly, neither of these possible character arcs require Jet to die. What requires Jet to die is the ~themes~.

Let’s look at this theme again, shall we? The cost of war. We already covered it with Yue, but it’s clearly something that bryke wants to return to and shed new light on. The obvious angle they’re going for is that sometimes, you don’t know who your real enemy is. Jet thought that his enemy was the Fire Nation, but in the end, he was taken down by his own countryman. Wow. So deep. Except, while it’s clear that Jet was always fighting against the Fire Nation, I never got the sense that Jet was fighting for the Earth Kingdom. After all, isn’t the whole bad thing about him in the beginning is that he wants to kill civilians, some of whom we assume to be Earth Kingdom? Why would it matter then that he got killed by an EK leader, when he didn’t seem to ever be too hot on those dudes? But okay, maybe the angle is not that he was killed by someone from the Earth Kingdom, but that he wasn’t killed by someone from the Fire Nation. Okay, but we’ve already seen him be diametrically opposed to the only living Air Nomad and people from the Water Tribes. Jet fighting with and losing to people who aren’t Fire Nation is not a new and exciting development for him. Jet has been enemies with non-FN characters for most of the show’s run at this point. There is no thematic level on which the execution of this holds any water.

The reason I got to thinking about this, really analyzing what Jet’s death means (and doesn’t mean) for the show, was this conversation I was having with @the-hot-zone in discord dms. We were talking about book 2 and ways it could have been better, and Zone said that they thought that Jet would have been a stronger character to parallel with Zuko’s redemption than Iroh and that seeing more of the narrative from Jet’s perspective could have strengthened the show’s themes. And when it came to the question of Jet’s death, they said, “And if we are going with Jet dying, then I want it to hurt. I want it to hurt just as much as if a main character like Sokka had died. I want the viewer to see Jet's struggles, his triumphs, the facets of Jet that make him compelling and important to the show.” And all of that just hit me. Because we don’t get that, do we? Jet’s death barely leaves a mark. Jet himself barely leaves a mark. His death isn’t plot-significant, doesn’t inspire character growth in any of our MCs, and doesn’t even accomplish the thematic relevance that it claims to. So what was the point?

Conclusion

Much as I dislike it, Yue’s death actually added something to atla. It could have added much, much more, in the hands of writers who gave more of a shit about their Brown female characters and were less intent on seeing them suffer and knocking them down a peg, but, in my opinion, it did work for what it was trying to do. Jet? Jet? Nah, fam. Jet never got the chance to really develop into a likable character because he was always put at odds with characters we already liked, and the framing skewed their way, not his. The dude never really had a chance.

*multiple people have spoken about how the NWT as depicted in atla is not reminiscent of real life Inuit and Yupik people and culture. I am not the person to go into detail about this, but I encourage you to check out Native-run blogs for more info!

#jet #yue #bold text #italics #death tw #murder tw

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kurofai-olympics · 3 years

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KuroFai Olympics 2021 - Sun Vs Moon - FAQ

What are the KuroFai Olympics?

The KuroFai Olympics (or as I usually end up typing, Olympfics) are a friendly team-based writing competition between two teams writing opposing themes of fiction, based around the same set of subthemes or prompts.

This year, it is Team Sun and Team Moon.

Each team will have the same number of competitors, and each competitor will square off against the other team’s competitor using the same prompt, with both posting their fics on the same day as determined by the posting schedule.

Where are the Olympics held?

The home of the Olympics is the KuroFai Dreamwidth community. You can also keep up to date with us on Discord, Twitter and Tumblr. We also have a collection on AO3 and you contact the mods via [email protected].

Roles within the Olympics

Moderators: a small dedicated group tasked with planning, coordinating and overall, doing what they can to make this year another success.

Writers: wordsmiths ready and willing to write a story where the main focus is about KuroFai, will be either fluffy or angsty, and fits into the subtheme.

Artists: folks with a passion for the visual arts. While each year, we are blessed with an Artist willing to create a header for the year's Olympics (this year, we thank ValdrickV), for the tenth anniversary, there is an additional role for Artists. To create art based around the prompts. This can be done based on one's interpretation of the prompt or in coordination with a Writer.

Betas: A second pair of eyes for a Writer, offering insight, advice and or a grammar check in exchange for an early reading of the story.

Pinchhitters: Brave and generous folks willing to take on the role of Writer should the need arise.

Read and Reviewers: Lovers of KuroFai who participate by reading the posted stories and then afterwards, leaving a Review for the author. Let's face it, Kudos is wonderful, but a review leaves a greater impact.

Scorers: by popular demand, rather than leave a Review with a score, Scorer fill out a brief survey where they score the fic. A form of online presence will be required - no going entirely anonymous allowed.

What are Pinch-hitters?

A stand-by writer, in case someone who signs up with a team has to step down for any reason (life obligations, sick, believe they won't finish on time, etc.) so they will step up to write for the prompt left vacant. If a competitor feels they need to step down, please let a Mod know as soon as possible, and the Mods will then ask a pinch-hitter to take over their prompt. Should you be unreachable for two days after a scheduled check in, a pinch hitter will be called upon to take over.

To give a Pinch-Hitter the most time to write, their posting day will be moved to the last posting day. Should two need to step down, the first Pinch Hitter and their competitor will get the day before the last and the newest Pinch Hitter and their competitor will have the last posting day

Posting Dates?

The posting schedule for the Olympics starts on the 8th of August. Each of our sub themes will be assigned a posting date with the first fics being posted on the 9th of August.

The schedule is prone to change but the mods will ensure that all writers know what date they will post on. If a Pinchitter is called upon their prompt will always move to the end of the schedule.

Time zone for posting?

We are currently considering what Timezone to use. This will be updated once it has been decided.

That said, time zones are an illusion we gave ourselves, so as long as you post within an hour or two of midnight on the day of your posting, you won’t be docked points. If you post after the next competitors’ have started posting for their prompt, however, that late penalty card comes into play.

Checkins?

All writers and artists will be required to checkin with the mods three times during the creating period. These checkins are just to see how you are going and to figure out if the posting dates need to be altered. While participants can reach out to the Mods at any time if issues arise the checkins are just a formalisation of this process.

Can I write a joint fic?

All fics entered in the Olympics must be new, original works written for the appropriate prompt by a single participant. You may ask your teammates/friends/family to help you out with coming up with an idea and you can ask anyone even Mods to beta your fic once it's written, but you have to write it.

Can I reuse an older piece of work?

No, you can't take a draft fic you had prepared earlier and jazz it up for the prompt. (We may not have proof but this is where your honor comes in. Write something new for your honor.)

Fic outlines are acceptable and allowed so long as you have not begun writing fic for it before you receive your prompt.

Length of fic?

There's no minimum or maximum length of entries; if you can tell a story in a thousand words, more power to you, and if it takes you fifty thousand, that's great too. However, a word count of between five thousand to twenty thousand for the length of your fic is generally recommended.

Can I share my work before posting day?

You can share up to 10% of your work as a teaser on various social medias before your posting date. You can of course share your work with your Beta and Team Mates before hand if you like.

Do I have to post my fic on Dreamwidth?

The fic, not necessarily. But you will need to make an entry post on Dreamwidth. That is, a post where you either post under a cut or provide a link to the location where your fic is posted. A template for fic entry posts will be provided closer to the posting date.

How do I post on Dreamwidth?

You will need a Dreamwidth account to post your entry and be a member of the KuroFai Dreamwidth Community. Copy and paste the template provided into a new Dreamwidth post making sure you choose HTML and not Rich text for editing. Also remeber to chose KuroFai community as it is easy to accidentally post it to your own Dreamwidth. Example of last years template post https://kurofai.dreamwidth.org/131379.html

Do I have to submit my fic to the AO3 collection?

While we would love for you to put your fic in the KuroFai Olympics 2020 collection it is not a requirement of the competition. This year collection is 2021_KuroFai_Olympics

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2021_KuroFai_Olympics

What if I can’t write competitively?

There is nothing to prevent you from writing a fic of your own to match the theme or a prompt you really like. We simply ask that you don’t post it during the Week (give or take) that the Teams will be posting theirs.

How can Artists get involved?

This year artist can sign up to do Art for the various prompts. The lovely Valdrick has created our banner art this year. Once prompts have been assigned to the artist there are no restrictions beyond relating to the prompt and KuroFai. Any size, any medium, any colour what ever takes your fancy.

How are fics scored?

By popular demand, this year rather than leave a Review with a score, the reader will be asked to fill out a brief survey which will be linked to at the end of the fic. A form of online presence will be required - no going entirely anonymous allowed for scoring.

Rules for scoring a fic?

Mods will not be allowed to leave a score but can still read and leave a review.

All Writers will be allowed to leave a Score EXCEPT on their fic and the corresponding fic from the other team.

Betas, Artists and others who aided in the Olympics and are not Writers or Mods are free to Score any fic.

People from across the fandom are free to Score any fic but will be required to leave a form of contact in the scoring survey.

The Scorecard

With 1 being the very worst and 10 being the very best, how well do you think this story did?

1. How well did this fic fit the prompt?

2. How well written was the fic?

3. How much did you enjoy the fic?

And please answer Yes/No

4. Was this fic tagged properly?

Questions 1-3 will have a maximum of 30 points available (and when you divide that by 3, you could get a solid 10 Pointer)

Regarding 4, if the Yes outweigh the No, then +2 Points. If the No outweigh the Yes than -2 Points.

Penalty Card

If the Penalty Card had to come in for Late and or Unfinished, then those Points will be taken out when we do the scoring.

No Story Posted: While this has happened due to unfortunate circumstance, it does result in a total loss of points. A zero for that story.

Late but Complete Fic: 1 Point Docked.

Incomplete Story Posted: 1-2 Points docked from that story.

Not Tagged Properly: 2 Points.

Not Tagged Properly?

Because of the sensitivity of subjects, all of these subjects MUST be clearly warned about should they appear in your story. At the bottom of the story under the cut is not clearly warned about.

Non-Con, Sexual violence, Dub-con, Underage, Sexual Kinks, Omega verse, Graphic Violence, Self Harm, Suicide or Suicidal thoughts.

Things like Language, Drug Use, Implied (sensitive subject), etc. are not required but are welcome to make the story that much more reader-friendly.

While not mandatory, stories featuring material from the events after Acid Tokyo, AU or Canon based, have a new tag available to them. It’s called NSFN (Not Safe for Nick/Newbies) and will make this even more reader-friendly.

Failure to comply with the Must be warned about rule results in a 2 Point loss for that story.

#KuroFai Olympics 2021 #mod post #FAQ

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mcukinkbingo · 3 years

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Rules (mobile friendly)

Basic Rules:

Kink Bingo is open to any and all MCU ships, including RPF. However, underage RPF is not allowed. If a person is under 18 in real life, do not put them in sexual situations, even if their age is changed for the purpose of the story.

Canon-verse and AUs are fine. Changing a character’s gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation are fine.

Per Tumblr’s Terms of Service, art depicting explicit sexual acts is not allowed. If you post to Pillowfort or AO3, artwork of this nature is permitted.

Each square must be filled by creating separate, new content. If you are writing a multichapter fic, each chapter can fill a different square so long as each chapter meets the requirements for the square.

Adding chapters to existing works is acceptable, as long as the new chapter is for a bingo fill and is new content. Interpretation of the squares is entirely up to the creator - there is no “incorrect” way to fill a square. However, the square should be the focus of your content, not just a background aspect.

Any rating is permitted. Fills do not necessarily need to be sexually explicit to satisfy the bingo.

Permitted posting platforms include Tumblr, AO3, and Pillowfort. If you’re interested in using another platform, let us know and we can try to work something out.

Cross-posting bingos to other events is allowed. In order to count towards our bingo, you must meet the minimum requirements of both bingos summed together. For example, if another bingo has a word minimum of 250 words, you would need to write 750 words (500 for our bingo, 250 for theirs).

Because the MCU Kink Bingo is now a continuous event, there is a minimum number of squares to complete before being issued a new card. We will not create a new custom card for someone until the participant has completed a minimum of two bingos. Once a new card is requested, the old card is no longer valid. If you plan to complete more fills on the current card, please do not request a new one until you are finished with the current card. If you blackout a bingo card and would like another, contact the mods. If you feel you cannot fulfill a two bingo minimum and want a new card, contact the mods to request special permission for a new card.

Bingo cards are sent by email, and so a valid email must be provided when you signup. We will only use your email for purposes related to the bingo, and do not provide it to any outside entities. You may share your bingo card when you receive it, or keep it private; up to you!

You must be 18 years old to participate in Kink Bingo as a content creator.

Minimum Fill Requirements

Fanfiction: 500 words

Fanart: 1 image, 3 in x 3 in if in traditional media, 300 px x 300 px if digital

Moodboard: 9 images

Fanvideo: 30 seconds

You are, of course, welcome to exceed these minimums.

Additional Notices

Kink-shaming and ship-bashing against other participants is not permitted. You are, of course, welcome to hold whatever opinions you wish, but we do not tolerate hatred towards the any other bingo participants. If you are found engaging in these behaviors, you will be blocked and disqualified from the bingo. This bingo is for fun. We encourage all participants to remember the mods and other participants are participating in this event using their free time because they love this fandom and encouraging kinky content. If you need to get in contact with the mods, we’re available on Tumblr and Discord, and via email at mcukinkbingo at gmail dot com. Discord and Tumblr will generally get you speedier replies. :)

#rules #kink bingo info

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queenofnabooty · 3 years

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I was tagged by @oceanssapart to do a commentary on 5 of my own creations. Thank you for the tag! This isn’t a “top 5″ necessarily, but have things about/in them that suit the DVD commentary prompt.

G.O.B. origin story - This is the only fic I ever sat down and wrote out an outline for. I needed to make sure all the set ups were going to be paid off by the end and also track what Adele is doing “off screen” so that when she reenters the main action I have a reference for what she knows and what she is still in the dark about. I liked the idea that once upon a time Adele and Marisa worked together, making Adele showing up at the party in Northern Lights more juicy. While it was satisfying to organize the story, I of course still made time for my usually shameless sitting around and thinking about things. I prefer stories that are very economical in the amount of details they give, and I feel like everything introduced here has an important use: Adele’s employment, Bomani’s favor, Marisa’s father’s investigation, Asriel’s visits, etc. I had a lot of fun bringing in all the OCs I’ve used to populate things in other fics (the Lauders and the Klines) in a more major way. Though this is the first instance of me using my version of Marisa’s father. Part of me is still a little unsure about what I have Marisa do to him in this, but I have no intention to change it. This fic is full of references to Marisa’s proclivity for violence, but they are very quick and brief. She is forced to create her vision from a distance.

Edward Coulter one-shot - I’m checked out of the current state of HDM fic trends, but I remember writing Edward as a decent man was starting to come into style. This is also something that appeals to me, as I feel there is no need to “justify” the affair. However, due to the only canon thing we know about Edward being that he was capable of flying into a rage so violent it spurred him to attempt murder, that has to be taken into consideration. I like to write Edward as a political progressive who believes he is motivated by his own kind character. In this fic, I hope I properly seeded in the idea of his lack of self awareness. He has a lot of expectations for how life and people should work, it’s almost tyrannical, but it’s excused because he is well intentioned. If I were to write this one-shot from Marisa’s perspective, it would likely be about her perception that they both entered into the marriage knowing it was a contract, that they were both pretending. I imagine that she doesn’t understand that Edward thinks the roles they are playing are real. And that is where the friction between them comes from.

Nameless Masriel one-shot - this baby was all about creating a vibe, rather than a story. It was very fun for me because l enjoy the feel of present tense as well as denying explicit details to readers. Marisa and Asriel are never named and they never discuss the events that have defined their relationship though there are several comments throughout about that allude to it. They reference Edward, Asriel losing his land, Marisa’s pregnancy, and more. A lot of this was about images both real and imagined. My personal favorite is when Asriel describes Marisa’s thoughts to be like a cockroach crawling out of her ear. There was a deleted exchange of having the two of them go off into a debate about the nature of a water glass, but it was too bloated. The debate about the nature of a water glass connected to the idea that there is no way for them to guarantee or promise that they will see each other again, they just count on the each other to find the other again and end up in this dirty little place I made up. Still, much of the one shot is Marisa struggling to get out of her own head, so having her fall into a debate wouldn’t really fit here.

The 5th Chapter of Chaos Fam Fic - I’m zeroing in on this chapter, because it is centered in on an OC I made for Asriel’s mother. The idea of a matriarch that moved her family to another country to save them all, only to outlive them all, is so deeply horrific to think about. Also, the idea of having Asriel having surviving parents appeals to me much more than going down the dead route. Having his own “orphan” status be because his parents decided to cut him off creates a parallel to what happened with Lyra. Not that Asriel would take it to heart as Lyra did. He was grown when it happened and not one who tends to regret things. Having his mother reach out to the only surviving descendent that she denied was very rich to write for. I didn’t want to make her weeping, but a very stoic person, someone who has shut down to survive. I’m quite attached to her and at this point I’m gonna start going back generations and generations into this family haha.

Chaos Fam “Poster” - I set up the layout so that it looks like a classic movie poster. One large figure who overshadows two others. This is sort of an unofficial poster for the “Image of the Father” fic because it matches its tone. Though, I really must stop using Show!Marisa as a reference considering I draw a different Asriel and Lyra and it looks rather confusing. Sometimes I’m terrified that it looks like I just mis-colored Show!Asriel because I often reference show screen grabs to get the poses right and the faces start to blend in my mind. Anyway, I like the energy that this managed to keep. Effie also sent me a pack of new brushes that helped me create that background. The original idea was to loop them all up with “Dust” but it just looked like messy splatters so I settled for the gold lining in the back. The quote is from, of course, TBA. The original context is Iris talking about aging, but I thought it fit with the idea of Marisa enraged at the physical toll of pregnancy and her body being invaded and dominated by Lyra.

Tagging @specter-speeder and @lordeasriel

#tag post #thanks for this but im sorry i feel like i did it wrong

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untitledtallgeesepodcast · 3 years

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[TRANCRIPT] EPISODE 14: ROAD TRIP (NO APOLOGIES)

Cathy 00:03

Hello and welcome back to Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four old friends rewatch and discuss Gundam Wing. I am Cathy, your moderator for this episode, and I am joined as always, by Kat, Mallory, and Caitlin. If you have been following along, you know that this week's episode — Episode 27, Locus of Victory and Defeat and Episode 28, Passing Destinies — are recap episodes, following the unofficial Season Finale from last time. As mentioned previously, we will be spending the bulk of this episode discussing a topic near and dear to all of our hearts, Gundam Wing fanfic from the early 2000ish through the lens of one very special fic, Road Trip by Sunhawk. But first, there isn't a lot to talk about that's new in episodes 27 and 28, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention two bits of new information we got. First, that Relena has switched wardrobes, and is now in a Sanc Kingdom school uniform. And she no longer is informing Heero that he needs to come over here and kill her but rather to return to her, echoing Quatre's telepathic insight into Heero's Golden Aura from the end of Episode 26. And second, Treize is now being placed under house arrest by the Romefeller Foundation for his speech in front of Duke Dermail. At the end of Episode 28 we see that he's not alone in house arrest, but rather joined by a ghostly Lady Une still in her peaceful ambassador outfit, who joins Treize, as he looks at blueprints of yet another mysterious Gundam-like mobile suit on his laptop, which spoiler alert, is Epyon. I think, you know, these are interesting episodes. And Caitlin, I know you had something to say about the way the recaps are done in 27 and 28.

Caitlin 01:45

Yeah, I think that it's really interesting how they, I mean, that new information comes to us via these framing narratives, where you have Relena, and a little bit Heero, and then Treize narrating everything that's happened to them. So we get a Relena narration where she's much more strongly identifying herself as the ruler of the Sanc Kingdom. And then we get a Treize narration that links together a lot of his dubious political thought, in the midst of his defeat.

Kat 02:18

It felt like the first time we really understood like, exactly what Lady Une thought his politics were, or his plans were and how he changed those plans, like explicitly.

Cathy 02:29

Yes, there was this moment where he reflects on the beauty of where he is trapped, which I believe is the Luxembourg base, but I don't know if they ever say that. And he articulates it as if to say, "this is what I wanted to preserve. This is what I joined OZ thinking it was to preserve," and then traces his change in thought, which I don't remember that ever coming through necessarily. What he thought he was doing originally before he became the Treize that we know.

Kat 02:56

Cathy, I did want to say that it felt like Treize was really reciting from your theory of anime from last episode when he talks about these "warriors with rebellious wings," and how their like purity of spirit completely changed his life.

Cathy 03:12

Yes, I love it. I felt like [laughter]--

Mallory 03:15

Yeah, I wrote, "Cathy! strong wills, what purity! theory of anime!" in my notes. So there you go.

Caitlin 03:22

Now we have to address the possibility that Cathy is Treize. Treize was God, he was Hannibal, and now he's Cathy.

Cathy 03:28

It does, I think, speak to why I've always found Treize a really fascinating character, even if I think he is a huge asshole, and none of his ideas make any sense. But you know, I am always drawn to this idea of people who, and I think I phrased it as "get sucked into other people's deranged orbits?" and Treize is both a person who creates a deranged orbit around himself [laughter] and also gets sucked into the orbit of the Gundam pilots, so I do love that about him.

Caitlin 03:56

Interesting. That explains a lot about you, but also makes me understand Treize a little bit better framing him that way.

Kat 04:03

I know you're sick of her but I did like that Une finally figured out the soul of OZ, that the purpose of battles isn't limited to making ideals into reality.

Mallory 04:11

Since you brought it up... why does Treize refer to her as like, my love? Or beloved? He says, "Lady Une, my love, rest in peace." So is the show trying to make me believe that Treize has feelings for Lady Une?

Kat 04:26

Is it just awkward writing?

Caitlin 04:28

I think it's just awkward writing but also kind of that. I think the dub at least -- and I only listened to the dub this time -- decided that Treize was in love with her and is going with that.

Kat 04:39

Both of these episodes felt very much like, "Hey, remember this heterosexual pairing?"

Cathy 04:44

Yes! And I remember one time we talked about whether or not this show actually ships heterosexual pairings or just, they thought they were but they're just so horrible at writing heterosexual romances [laughter] that everything comes off really strange and this is definitely an example of that. Like, I could see both sides of this, that we are supposed to believe that Treize had romantic feelings for Lady Une and then it just was written so poorly because nobody on the show has met a real woman before. [laughter] Or, and I guess this would be my interpretation, it isn't that he is like romantically interested in her or was in love with her. But she was very important to him and represented, you know, one of the people that I think he wielded the biggest influences on and that touches him deeply. And her quote unquote, fate being that she is, quote unquote, dead at the end of Episode 26 weighs heavily on him.

Caitlin 05:40

But she's not dead. [laughing] Why does he say it? I know that in the episode, it's meant to be a fake out like, Oh, we know, we saw Lady Une die. And then Treize is talking to her as though she's dead so it's really not until the very end of episode 28 that we get the reveal that she's alive. It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Cathy 05:59

So let's address fake outs because there are characters talking in episodes 27 and 28, and I'm not sure if we are supposed to believe that they're talking at the time of the flashback footage being shown to us, or afterwards, right now, in the world of Episode 28.

Kat 06:16

I think Relena's was the only narration that actually seems like 100% anchored to what we were looking at. So... like Treize definitely we hear his earlier thoughts at the beginning and then he explains how they've changed, but with Heero it's just sort of like A, and then B.

Mallory 06:34

Right, when Heero in Episode 27 says, "I don't consider the other Gundam pilots my comrades, I've never had comrades from the start," I have no idea if this narration is trying to tell me that Heero at this point in time currently, after Episode 26, does not believe the Gundam pilots are his friends. Or if he's referring to how he felt back then.

Caitlin 07:00

I under-understood that as definitely he's talking about that point in the flashback.

Cathy 07:05

It is kind of thrown out there. And it seems like by now he would have had so much interaction with these guys, especially at least with Trowa, that it would be kind of wild for him to say that [laughing]

Caitlin 07:18

He considers Trowa his comrade boyfriend, y'know? [cat meows in background]

Mallory 07:20

It was making me laugh because we've been reading this fic, this road trip arc. And it's kind of incredible how much this arc -- and we'll talk about this -- how much this arc and formed my idea of what the Gundam pilots' relationships were or like, their, their relationship dynamics or that they /had/ relationships with each other. So when I read all these fic, I was thinking like, "Wow, I didn't see any of this coordination in the show. Like there are no safe houses in the episodes that I watched. Oh, that like, it's okay, that must have come later." And now I'm later in the series, [laughing] and I'm finding out that actually, they interact very tangentially for the most part, where I was imagining a lot more camaraderie as the episodes progressed.

Kat 08:11

I know in Episode Zero, you were really distraught to learn that it's not like, "let's all five meet up and team up!" ...

Mallory 08:19

Yeah!

Kat 08:19

...kind of anime

Mallory 08:21

I mean, I'm really enjoying where it's going now. And I enjoy the sort of bits of relationships that we're getting and the ways that their personalities bounce off each other. And that's what makes, that's what makes Gundam Wing such a rich field to mine for fic, because you get all of these like, glimpses of what these characters could be to each other, within the canon of the show. And it's really easy for writers like Sunhawk to kind of just like, take them and run.

Cathy 08:52

Yes, so let's talk about Road Trip by Sunhawk. Road Trip is part of a larger, 17 part series called the Road Trip Arc by its fans. We are going to be talking mostly about just the first installment -- which is actually barely shippy. Like there are hints of the relationship that will come to be especially the 1x2 part of it. And the rest of the series is very staunchly 1x2 with background 3x4, question mark with Wufei, which I'd really love to talk about later. But at least in the first part, it's kind of more of a, I don't know if action story is the right word... You know, it starts at some unspecified time in the canon. Heero and Duo are escaping a mission that is kind of going south. They land on earth, on a beach. Heero is badly injured, Duo is you know, kind of beat up but is still mostly functional. You know, he's not internally bleeding and concussed, which is what Heero is. So he's forced to drive them to safety, and eventually to a rendezvous point where the idea is that Quatre and the others will pick them up. But when they get there OZ is basically hot on their heels. So Duo is able to leave Heero, basically in secluded cover, but he has to redirect OZ's attention, which gets him into more trouble. And he almost essentially drowns. So exhausted, pummeled within an inch of his life, he limps his way back to a safe house, again, unspecified location, or why he knows that that thing is there, but whatever, where all the rest of the pilots are staying at. So that's Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei. Heero's already in the hospital, you know, Duo basically passes out. He's given immediate medical attention, including drugs that cause him to lash out and nearly kill everybody around him. But finally, Heero, near death himself, manages to sneak out of his hotel--hospital room to sit by Duo's side, which calms Duo down and the fic ends with them having this really cute exchange about Duo's IVs. So I did want to talk about the landscape of fanfic reading at this time, before we really dive deep into Road Trip itself. Do you guys have any memories, you know, or impressions of what it was like at the time when you first started reading Gundam Wing fanfic?

Caitlin 11:12

I remember that... I'm pretty sure I read this fic on a site that had either an all black background with white text; a sepia tinted background, that was like, you know, like a light, brownish, and then like a sort of off gray text. Because back in 2000, the only HTML any of us knew was how to change background color and how to change font color. You could put one image... They had gifs back then. And I don't, that's probably why my eyes are bad now. [laughter]

Kat 11:45

Yeah, it was either like very weirdly colored websites or really, really intensely over-styled websites, where it like, it's a little pop up and it's butterfly-shaped.

Mallory 11:58

Yeah. And there's like glitter and sparkles when you move your mouse and stuff. I didn't have fast like, I didn't get DSL until really late, like I was a senior in high school. So all of these websites just like crashed our internet constantly. [laughing] It was, it was hard for me to read those kinds of archives and stuff.

Caitlin 12:22

The point here is that these fics were hosted on like, a bunch of different sites. And it was just small, privately run, I guess you could say archives, like it's like it's one person who wants to save all the Gundam Wing fic in the world. Which is actually why we have Road Trip preserved on AO3, Archive of Our Own, which is that it's part of the Open Doors Project where a archivist by the name of Dacia used to run a site called A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, she was really into Duo. She read pretty much every Duo pairing if I recall correctly, like she was really into like all Duo pairings and she started collecting fic from various places where like, she-she wanted to curate like the best fic in her mind. So she would like ask authors, "Oh, can I host this on my site too?" after finding the fic other places and so she collected a bunch of, a bunch of fic. And as probably a lot of us know, Archive of Our Own, which is run by the Organization for Transformative Works, has a program called Open Doors where they will import archives that are closing, fanfiction archives that are closing, or that the maintainers just don't want to maintain anymore. So they maintain, they import them wholesale from the original archive and put them on Archive of Our Own.

Kat 13:49

It's pretty great because there are tons of fic from that time period that I wish I could remember or find or go back and to be able to like even search stuff on AO3 that was on those is great.

Cathy 14:02

So we've talked about this before, but that's where Gundam Wing Addiction is actually pretty funny because they did rescue some of these sites. You know, we talked about the Izumi Fountain District with Alexe Cinz stuff last time, but they also rescued, I want to say it's Lev or Levwolf or something like that?

Kat 14:23

Leviathan's Lair.

Cathy 14:25

The-the Leviathan's Lair. There we go.

Kat 14:26

Ooh, I remember this site. Wow--

Mallory 14:28

Yeah

Kat 14:28

Looking at this site is like getting slapped in the face.

Cathy 14:31

Yeah, I definitely read a lot of fic on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, which I remember had a lot of text that was like accent text in orange [laughter]. And one of my favorite authors. well, they were an author pair, TB and Marsh, they were hosted on A Little Piece of Gundam Wing, that's where I first discovered them. But same thing with Sunhawk, who wrote two really famous series you know, Road Trip is the first one -- and in my memory, the more famous one although I think some people might say it's the Ion Arc, which I really don't remember anymore.

Kat 15:06

No, like reading Road Trip -- it's sort of like if I didn't read Road Trip, I read a bunch of fics like it, but the Ion Arc doesn't really ring a bell.

Cathy 15:15

Ok, yeah. So it was also the one that was easiest to talk about because the first part of Ion isn't really meaty enough, I think to talk about whereas Road Trip, the first installment is almost perfectly self-encompassing of a lot of stuff. In terms of dates, you know, I cannot find a definitive date of when Sunhawk first wrote and posted Road Trip, the first archive I could find that was still crawled by Web Archive, thank you Web Archive, was from November 2001 on Steelsong, who was another moderator of a large network of websites, a lot of which were Gundam Wing websites and specifically had their own Gundam Wing fanfic archive. By the time that Steelsong had put Sunhawk on their site, which was some time around November 2001, Sunhawk had already written much of Road Trip, she had already written the first six installments, which is a lot of fic. And at that time, at least in 2001, 2002, Sunhawk was writing Road Trip concurrently with Ion. My suspicion is that Sunhawk probably first wrote this on a mailing list, you know, the 1x2 mailing list was a really popular one at the time, and so maybe it was that she first started there and then later got into the archives. But this would mean that Sunhawk probably started writing Gundam Wing fic right after Gundam Wing's run on Toonami in 2000. So another thing I did want to point out is that we are really lucky now that Gundam Wing is available on streaming on Hulu, that there's all these wiki sites that we could basically find all the information we would want. It's possible that Sunhawk did not actually have a way to fact check anything that she was writing at the time. And so you know, one thing I did want to talk about with the fic was this indeterminate canon timeline issue, I don't know when in the series, this was supposed to happen. You know, Deathscythe is called Deathscythe. Much later in the series, Wufei's Gundam is referred to as Altron, which is his second Gundam. But we don't ever get this kidnapping phase that happens in the fic. So I don't know. But then again, I realized when I was Sunawk in 2001, how was she supposed to have checked that? Right?

Kat 17:29

I think also, nobody gave a shit back then. [laughs]

Mallory 17:32

Yeah. Like, it's also sort of like, did it really matter to your enjoyment? Like, you have all the elements of the Gundam Wing pilots and them interacting and the shipping, and like, it doesn't really matter what canon we're supposed to be in because we're already out of, outside of canon.

Kat 17:52

I feel like there were only like two timelines for fic and it was basically like pre-Endless Waltz and then post-Endless Waltz. I never really felt like, even though there's definitely a definitive plot split between, like, from all the episodes we've seen, and all the episodes we're about to see, I never really felt like fic did.

Caitlin 18:12

It's, it's sort of an interesting question in like Film Studies, where, you know, up until VHS, there was no way to really rewatch a movie that you were writing about. So a lot of film criticism and film theory was written by people who had only like, watched the movie once. So there's, it's kind of like a pathology we have nowadays that we can rewatch everything over and over again, so we can get this sort of like perfect timeline, this perfect like, sense of a film. Whereas in the past, like nobody ever watched anything like that. And there are, there are some film theorists nowadays who's still argue for that as like the true model of cinema, though obviously, that's much less prominent now. That, that gets into my whole idea of fanfic as a form of like interpretation, like fanfic is like a type of criticism of the original series.

Kat 19:01

Yeah, absolutely. And the thing that people wanted more of in Gundam Wing was gay shit and safe houses.

Mallory & Caitlin 19:08

Yeah.

Caitlin 19:09

And it's and it's easy to just like put that in. Like reading Road Trip, I wasn't thinking too much about like, where does this fit in the timeline because who cares?

Cathy 19:16

This is a first person POV fic, which in my mind now is pretty rare for big fanfics to be first person POV. But you, Mallory, had noted how much this voice sounded like the dub Duo voice.

Mallory 19:30

Yeah, she has gotten Duo's voice down. [laughs] I think it's just the slang that she kind of throws in there, the sort of casual way that Duo thinks and speaks feels very "of the show." Like I hear Scott McNeil's voice in my head [laughs] reading her fic is how good I think it is. Like there's like a cheesy earnestness in the dialogue of both the show and the fic that I think like works really well and is like really charming.

Caitlin 20:05

And I think that, so I think Duo's voice is very well established and it is at least, I only read the first two parts, but in the second part which is Heero's first person point of view, Duo's dialogue lines are also very strongly Scott McNeil-esque, I felt. I think Heero's voice is a little bit less distinct. One of my struggles with these fics was like, does this read as Heero to me? Like I really wasn't sure. And I'll say with regards to the first person point of view, maybe this gets us on to a different topic, but there are so many things about this fic where if I opened a fic like this now in 2020, I would hit I would hit the back button so hard.

Cathy 20:48

No, I want to talk about this, this is a great topic. I love this.

Caitlin 20:51

So I would never read something with this much violence. I'd always be like, what I don't want to read that, I don't want to read Duo getting beaten up or tortured, or whatever.

Mallory & Kat 21:00

Oh! [laughter]

Caitlin 21:02

I know! I like, I don't, I don't read that sort of fic these days. Like I don't read whump, the ancient genre of whump. [laughs]

Kat 21:10

Oh, whump I guess is like a ancient genre but an everlasting genre to me.

Caitlin 21:15

Yes.

Kat 21:15

Cathy, when you were trying to classify this fic, I was thinking, "this is definitely whump, pre-slash."

Mallory & Caitlin & Cathy 21:21

Yes, yes. Yes.

Mallory 21:22

At least part one is pre-slash.

Kat 21:24

Yeah

Caitlin 21:25

And I would never read something like that these days... Like if it was, it was tagged pre-slash, rated M, and I be like, "but how can it be rated M if they don't have sex?" I'd be like, "no, there's got to be some other reason for this to be rated M, I can't handle it. I need to go back." Like I would hit the back button so hard. And I'd be wrong because this fic is really good.

Kat 21:47

It definitely feels from, from an older time~

Cathy 21:50

Yes, I agree. And I second everything Caitlin said. This fic was surprisingly readable and I know that sounds like a backhanded compliment but what I mean is, I didn't expect it to still sound as good and like something I would see someone write now, but it is. It's still really good, you know the voices are really good, the dialogue are really, is really good. But everything about it screams back button. Like I hated Quatre and Trowa even in this fic. [laughing]

Caitlin 22:19

Oh my god, oh my god [laughter]

Cathy 22:20

[laughter] Even though they do nothing, I hated them. Outside of Gundam Wing I did not ever read whump or hurt/comfort fic, you know, this was just not a genre that I was ever interested in. In Gundam Wing it was almost unavoidable?

Kat 22:33

I was gonna say there's no way [crosstalk]

Cathy 22:34

because of the plot [crosstalk] So you kind of had to--

Kat

especially if you like Duo--

Cathy

Especially if you liked Duo! And then of course all of the little fandom tropes that kill me now about the fic might actually have not yet been as deeply entrenched in fanon at the time she was writing as they are now but--

Caitlin 22:51

True

Cathy 22:51

Certainly now when I read it, I'm like, well, there's the safe house.

Mallory 22:55

Yeah, it's like a checklist almost. Like oh, there's that mention of Duo's hair smelling like sandalwood,

Cathy 23:02

Yes!

Caitlin 23:02

Why sandalwood?

Mallory 23:03

It was always sandalwood and it was always Duo. Duo's hair always smelled like sandalwood..

Kat 23:08

I mean it might be this fic though, like this is The the fic, the landscape of fic reading and stuff, there was just less of it and like the people who are into it are like really spending time to find it and stuff. We're talking about different archives, I read like everything on 1x2x1--

Mallory 23:10

Mmhmm

Kat 23:10

Uh wing-- Shinigami and Wing like and so I think it was like, fanon still coalesces pretty fast now but I think because there's less access to source material too it's like so much easier for it to grow like this, just sort of permeate the entire fandom, not just one pairing.

Mallory 23:48

Yeah, I mean like Kat you were saying earlier you may not have read this particular fic but you have definitely read 10 or 15 other ones that are very similar to it in terms of what you can expect from the action and the characters and the pairings.

Kat 24:04

Duo is gonna get hurt. Heero is gonna be angry over something that he doesn't need to be angry about. Trowa is gonna to be a calm head, Quatre's the kind heart. Wufei I like in this because he's like the friend, the bro, instead of the standoffish fifth guy.

Mallory 24:19

Yeah,

Kat 24:19

so that's nice--

Caitlin 24:20

Yeah. Wufei good in this but he has a better like,

Kat 24:25

Rapport?

Caitlin 24:25

He has more rapport with Duo than Heero does [laughter]

Mallory 24:28

Yes. I was going to say--

Caitlin 24:31

I'm sure we were all in on this but I was side shipping Duo and Wufei a lot. Wufei gave him a bath!

Mallory & Kat 24:38

Wufei gets him!

Cathy 24:40

Do you guys, can I spoil something about the rest of the Road Trip arc?

Caitlin 24:43

Yes!

Mallory & Kat 24:44

Yeah.

Cathy 24:45

So I okay. And I will first give readers this warning, if you do want to read the rest of the installments of Road Trip, there are warnings on AO3 but I must add that there is a significant part of Duo's backstory that deals with rape and trauma and especially rape of Duo when he was very under age so--

Caitlin 25:10

This also something that would be auto back button for me.

Cathy 25:13

Yeah so I have to I have to put in that disclaimer because I don't want people wandering into the rest of the story. Road Trip the first installment is fine but the rest of the story this is, this is a big part of his character so please don't read it if it is triggering. But one thing about Wufei is you find out later he actually has a BIG honkin' crush on Duo and he is almost always--

Mallory 25:36

I must have read this.

Caitlin 25:37

Nooooo!

Cathy 25:37

He is almost always there basically like helping like pick Duo up and like--

Caitlin 25:43

no [crosstalk] this is too sad!

Cathy 25:43

Supplements this like emotional stuff that like Heero doesn't get because Heero has a bad problem

Caitlin 25:49

[agonized] Noooo--

Cathy 25:49

in Road Trip of like treating Duo as like too fragile which pisses Duo off

Kat

That was a common dynamic.

Cathy

He comes to this like realization that he's like really in love with Duo but then he has to shelve it because he realizes that Duo and Heero are soulmates? And so he like, he says he'll be a friend forever and he gives like do this plush dragon. And then the whole thing is it's set up to be eventually a Wufei and Sally Po story? But the very last installment -- that is part 16 of the 16 part series -- is essentially a story where Duo has an anxiety freak out while Heero's away. He calls Wufei over to his apartment, they spend a night together completely platonically. Duo realizes that Wufei is like eaten up inside by something that Wufei won't tell Duo about. And it's like this crush, which all of us know because we all read the part with the Wufei point of view, but like Duo didn't get the memo.

Mallory

Oh my god?

Kat

I picked up on this and I only read one chapter.

Caitlin

I can't handle this.

Cathy

So he's not sure what's happening. And that at the very end, you know, Wu Fei is like basically telling Duo that he doesn't want to start dating Sally Po because he's afraid of like, basically something that like, and he phrases it in a way that makes Duo think he's talking about his former dead wife, but it's actually about Duo. [crosstalk: No!] And Duo says to him, you have to let the past go. And so then Wufei does and call Sally up for a date.

Kat

Okay, that plush dragon thing just lit up eight synapses.

Caitlin

I hate this.

Kat

I have read this fic, 100%.

Caitlin 25:57

It's possible that this is why I got into 2x5.

Cathy 27:32

So I just had to add this here because like, I truly felt the same way. Like I shipped Wufei and Duo was so hard and the more Heero like became this like, super protective like... I like this story, but I don't buy it as Heero characterization. Like I don't think Heero was very convincing. But I do find Duo and Wufei very convincing in the series. [laughs]

Caitlin 27:51

Yeaaah.

Kat 27:51

I think this is a big problem with a lot of Heero fanon characterization at the time, though, because like the logical conclusion of the fanon characterization of Heero is just a huge asshole nobody wants to date. [laughs] When the Toonami series aired, it was like a ton of 1x2. That was it. It was like 1x2, 3x4 blah, blah but I think as fanon crystallized like pairing diversity also increased.

Caitlin 28:17

Yeah, the thing is that I'm fine reading fanfic between assholes that nobody would want to date. That is, tends to be the type of fanfic that I read anyway.

Kat 28:27

Look, I get that.

Caitlin 28:27

So Heero being terrible is fine. The problem is that this fic characterizes him as less terrible than he seems to actually be?

Mallory 28:36

Mmm.

Caitlin 28:36

Like, I don't think Heero is this, I don't think he's this protective. I don't think he's this in tune with his feelings. Part Two, really, like, as some of you might know, I never read established relationship fic, so I wasn't going to continue past Part Two anyway. Even though they have a lot of problems, I'm just like, all right, they already confessed their feelings. I'm not interested anymore. But I just found it really hard to believe that Heero would be able to confess his feelings or even like, recognize love, emotions, or romance that early on.

Kat 29:10

It's the combined problem of he's an asshole who no one would want a date and the fic is still trying to convince me that him and Duo are like really great together in general. So I wrote a lot of Gundam Wing fic in middle school, so I consumed so much of it on [laughing] fanfiction.net and the characterization ended up getting really, really far removed even further removed than this fic from the actual show, I guess.

Cathy 29:35

So one thing I did want to point out, it's less obvious in Part One, but becomes increasingly obvious as you move through this arc is the total lack or mention of Relena Peacecraft. And, and I mean it, she is not mentioned once in this entire fic, which is odd because it goes from middle of the canon through until the post-Endless Waltz and then [laughter] seven to eight years, and seven to eight years after--

Mallory 30:05

Wow

Cathy 30:05

the end of Endless Waltz, which, and again at by the end of this fic series, spoilers, Duo, Wufei, and Heero all work for the Preventers. So it seems very [laughter] weird that none of them would interact with Relena. So like I did--

Caitlin 30:14

It seems like they would run into Relena sometime [laughter].

Cathy 30:21

I did want to open the floor to talk about Relena Peacecraft and her place in Gundam Wing fanfic.

Kat 30:29

Well, so either you're a het shipper so you're, you're, you're doing fine, your Heero is probably very different. [laughter]

Caitlin 30:41

Wait, let's let's be clear that there were a lot of het shippers

Kat 30:44

Yes.

Caitlin 30:44

And they still are there. There was a lot of het shipping in the Japanese fandom too. I think Heero and Relena were popular.

Kat 30:51

Duo and Hilde.

Caitlin 30:53

And the official media that came out was like, oh Duo and Hilde. And, oh Heero and Relena.

Cathy 30:58

Yeah.

Kat 30:59

Relena and fanfiction so you're a het -- you could be a het shipper, so then she's in it a lot.

Mallory

Or you hate her and she's a monster and she's the the thing standing between Heero and Duo falling in love or being together, which I feel like I read a lot of.

Kat 31:15

She could be shipping them but that was way more rare I thought and then like just not having her around.

Caitlin 31:22

So like, from the perspective of the contemporary moment, it looks bad to just not write Relena at all in your 300,000 word fic about characters who talk to Relena all the time. Like it seems bad

Kat 31:38

But!

Caitlin 31:39

but she was so controversial that I could see like I can see the logic of just not including her.

Kat 31:45

And as a reader I, I often preferred that she just kind of not be there be like very peripheral over... like I think at the beginning I really enjoyed the like Relena hating because there's just very viscerally satisfying, but later on, I was like, hmmm.

Caitlin 32:01

The other option is like, write a explainer about why your Heero in your fic doesn't love Relena, he only loves Duo. It just becomes, like, tedious to write that every single fic.

Cathy 32:15

One thing that I was digging up was a lot of Relena hate sites. And one thing we had talked about in past episodes was kind of like hating her because she was this rich girl, she had this entourage, we couldn't really relate to her. And there was a lot of that in why people expressed why they hated Relena. Like she was spoiled. She had everything. She was obsessed with Heero and so she definitely like wanted him as one of her belongings kind of thing? So I think it is one of those moments where now that I've read a lot more other types of Gundam Wing fanfic that I wasn't reading at that time that have, I think, much more interesting Relena characterization, and much more I think realistic ideas about what Heero and Relena's relationship would be like. I think, "God I was so stupid!" but I feel that same way about like everything I was into, right? [laughs] So like, it is kind of humbling and also funny.

Mallory 33:14

Like reading this fic it's about as comforting as like finding your favorite High School sweater, you know, in the back of your closet when you're visiting home and putting it on and finding out it still fits. And it's because it sort of hits all of those familiar tropes that I remember reading, like the use of "Gods" is like--

Kat 33:32

Yes!

Mallory 33:33

punch in the face.

Caitlin 33:34

Why does everyone say gods?

Mallory 33:36

Yes.

Cathy

Everybody!

Mallory 33:37

Okay, and I don't remember, like I remember this being a thing in Gundam Wing fic I don't remember why--

Caitlin 33:43

[crosstalk] Duo was American and was raised in a—

Cathay

[laughing] Catholic!

Caitlin

Catholic. Why would he say Gods?

Kat 33:48

[crosstalk] Yeah Duo would never.

Cathy 33:49

I kind of get maybe the idea of why others would do it if this became like a post colony thing but certainly not Duo.

Kat 33:57

In like middle school. I was always wondering like, "oh, what kind of weird event happened in the future that made everybody until like a polytheist?" [laughter] Like, what kind of world building is this?

Mallory 34:07

Yeah, I thought that there had to be like a reason or is there a rule?

Caitlin 34:12

I kind of thought that just like the people writing fanfic at the time tended to be like pagans. Like, like, that was fine. And they and they were pushing their pagan agenda by having everybody say gods.

Cathy 34:22

No, I, I, 100. That's 100% my theory.

Caitlin 34:25

that's what I think it is.

Cathy 34:26

So I mean, Sunhawk was one of the older writers at the time, but I think a lot of the people who were archivists and writers at the time were older, she was probably at least I want to say in her 30s. They're usually older, some of them are Wiccan or pagan and a lot of them were very interested in like education and sort of like bringing up the younger members of the fandom. So Sunhawk specifically, like had a personality who was like very educational? I'm not saying that that's why she did particularly this "Gods" thing, but I do think that that was like part of the general dismantling of monotheistic--

Mallory 35:01

Christian god.

Cathy 35:02

Yeah. So the last thing I want to talk about in terms of this fanfic is all the five pilots working together, coordinating pickup and rescue missions.

Mallory 35:11

Rendezvous points? How are they in contact with each other?

Cathy 35:15

And they all appear to have like similar missions? Like, it seems like Heero and Duo were on this mission together instead of what we see in the show, which is that they don't...? Again, I think I just love this idealistic view of the Gundam pilots where they're all not just friends, but also comrades in arms.

Caitlin 35:33

Yeah, I mean, this makes more sense than what the show does, which is that on the show, it's always, oh, they just happen to run into each other on the same mission. And they're like, oh, who are you? Why do you have the same Gundam as me? [laughter]

Mallory 35:47

We shouldn't be fighting.

Caitlin 35:48

But Quatre's the only one who says that everybody else is like, let's blow each other up.

Cathy 35:53

We joke a lot about how this podcast is basically us questioning the internal logic of Gundam Wing, like why would anybody do this thing where they just sent five teenagers without any knowledge that there are four other of them and just be like, here you go.

Mallory 36:07

Complete a vague unspecified mission.

Kat 36:10

I feel like fanfiction really made them way more competent. Like there's literally that whole scene where the doctors are like, "You guys fucking suck. You're not the perfect soldiers at all." [laughter]

Mallory 36:21

"You don't know anything."

Kat 36:22

And then in fics it's like Heero's like, "I'm the perfect soldier. I know everything!

Mallory 36:28

"I must be the perfect soldier."

Caitlin 36:30

Oh, yeah. Like they all seem to be much better fighters than they are in canon.

Kat 36:36

Yeah

Caitlin 36:36

I feel like in canon Wufei is the only one who does his job. And in fanfic, it seemed like they were all doing jobs.

Kat 36:43

Trowa's maybe just doing his own thing.

Mallory 36:46

But he's doing A Job.

Caitlin 36:47

Yeah, clowning. Trowa's job is clowning!

Kat 36:50

Everybody got way more trauma than Quatre did in fic even though the show is like here's Quatre's biggest trauma.

Mallory 36:58

You know, that's very true.

Kat 36:59

Which didn't even show up in the clip show.

Caitlin 37:02

Yeah, it also doesn't really make sense that Quatre's always this really sane one in fanfic when he's the main one we've seen in canon go apeshit.

Kat 37:12

Reading this fic and then watching the clip show, I was like, damn, like Wufei/Treize/Zechs was like it's, a whole ass universe. And it's just like, one scene in the first 27 episodes. [laughter] But what a scene.

Mallory 37:27

Such a good one.

Caitlin 37:29

I think that it's important to note that Sunhawk passed away last year, and so we could consider this episode our very weird tribute to her.

Cathy 37:37

Yes, in 2019 in March, there was a post on Sunhawk's LiveJournal, by her daughter, who had become in Sunhawk's words, essentially somewhat of a fandom secretary for Sunhawk, noting that if you are reading this entry, now, it means that she had passed away, she had been diagnosed with cancer, like in 2015, she said four and a half years ago from the time of the writing of the entry. So Sunhawk, beginning in 2007, did a tradition where every year for the 12 days leading up to Christmas, she would post the ficlet, or fanart inspired by her fics, usually 1x2 related usually an excerpt from or like a special scene or bonus scene from one of her stories about Duo and Heero. And she continued that tradition even up until 2019.

Kat 38:25

Oh wow

Cathy 38:25

So prior to that she had actually queued up 12 Days of Christmas for 2019, which her daughter posted. And the very last story actually was a coda for the Ion arc, which was left unfinished and her daughter finished it for her. And if you had the chance, and of course, we'll link to this, I really highly recommend you read the goodbye post from Sunhawk.

Caitlin 38:49

It's, wait, it's really good. Can I read just a little bit of this?

Cathy 38:51

Yes, please.

Caitlin 38:52

Before I shuffle on off, though, I would be remiss if I didn't address the fandom that I have called home for almost two decades. To everyone, thank you, I realized that we aren't as large as we used to be that the heyday is over. But I've enjoyed being here and writing for you all. And there is one thing that I've learned through all of my years, and all of my time with the fandom that I want to share that I think applies not just to our little corner of the internet, but all fandom. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it, share it. We all start somewhere. We all start with works that are horribly out of character. We write tropes that have been written up million times before. We all stare at blank canvases unable to get the lines down in a way that we want. And we all scrap ideas that we feel just aren't good enough. But a fandom lives because of the people who produce for it. And by those who come to read and view. Yes, maybe that 500 word drabble in which two strapping young men are trapped in a remote cabin during some horrible weather event and there is only one bed, isn't your best work. But what about the work after that, or the one that follows? With each creation you learn, you polish yourself, you grow. Never stop yourself from growing. Never let others stop you from growing. Share the stories you have in you. Post your heart -- Post your art, because at the end of the day life is too damn short to spend not doing something you love to do. To all of the Gundam Wing fandom and all of my friends, I want to again say thank you, reading my work supporting me talking with me, you've made my stay here a pleasant one.

Cathy 40:21

I find it really heartwarming. And one thing that I did for this episode is I went back and I read some of Sunhawk's first LiveJournal posts in 2002, when she started her LiveJournal, and even in the comments to people who were, I don't think close friends of hers, you know, just fans, she was always extremely, you know, encouraging and welcoming, and always told her fans that they should just write, you know, even if they felt like whatever they did wasn't perfect or wasn't in their words going to match up to what she did. She always told them just write it. Coming to Sunhawk and realizing that she'd spent two decades in a fandom that I think a lot of us considered dead and she was still cranking out work there and like encouraging people and being loving in that fandom, it just is it's like everything that one hopes one span that experience will be like and how they'll be remembered when they leave. Well, I want to thank you guys for joining me on this episode where we talk about, you know, Sunhawk and fanfic and being really young and on the internet with dial up. I really, you know, appreciate all of your memories, which are also my memories. And together, we'll keep Sunhawk's spirit alive. Write it, draw it, sing it, create it and share it. Thank you very much and see you in two weeks.

#gundam wing #mobile suit gundam #mobile suit gundam wing #Anime Podcast #anime nostalgia #90s anime #episode 14 #transcripts #untitled tallgeese podcast

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unto-myself-together · 4 years

Text

From Dusk to Dawn, ch 2 (ESO fanfic)

Content warnings for this specific chapter: references to sex. Brief descriptions of violence. Occasional light cursing (i.e. damn, ass. It’s very infrequent though)

Author notes (a lot of notes, sorry!!):

Previous chapters: Chapter 1

Author notes (skip to the squiggly lines--> ~~~~~~ if you want to jump straight into the story)

You can also read the story on my Archive of Our Own Account here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23343163/chapters/64680022#workskin

Lots of notes here (and I apologize for that. But this chapter had a lot of stuff going on. There are a couple of explanations for anyone who is interested/confused by something that went on in this chapter.):

Hey everyone. I really really hope you all have been doing much better during these troubled times than I have. I have an anxiety disorder (as well as a couple of other things and chronic medical conditions) and let’s just say that this does not exactly mix well with a worldwide pandemic. Let me just say that if it wasn’t for ESO and my ESO guildies, I don’t know where I’d be.

I love your comments. All of them. I have been coming back just to read them again and again, and when I get the chance I want to respond to each and every one of them. You all are so beautiful; thank you… And thank you to the person who left that extremely lovely message in my ask box on Tumblr! I’m not sure how to let you know, how to respond in a way that you will see (are you still around?), but if you can see this: I love you and I loved, loved, loved your message!

I missed writing. A lot. But I have so tired lately that I was having difficulties writing this next chapter. I finally got it out and I wanted to share it with all of you. This one is a bit more lighthearted than the last (we’re going to go on a rollercoaster here, with lighthearted chapters intermixed with not-so lighthearted chapters). I also changed the tags a bit.

Ravenwatch and sexuality: It’s actually canon that House Ravenwatch has “naked parties”. I kid you not. Gwendis has dialogue during the quest where you crown the new King/Queen of Rivenspire; if you meet her upstairs in Shornhelm’s castle, she’ll say something like:“If this were a Ravenwatch party, none of these people would be wearing clothes”. Please note that this is a “missable conversation”;if you do not catch Gwendis before completing the crowning quest, you will never get to see her say it again.

Even if ZOS later decides to erase these lines, they can’t erase them from history because I have recordings of it :D In all honesty? I actually appreciated this little side note;I think it adds more complexity to their characters. Given their rules about consent regarding blood giving, their parties are probably fully consensual too.And there really isn’t anything wrong about adults having consensual parties. Besides, vampires have always been a little associated with sex and sexuality, so I don’t think it’s really that surprising.

Kalin’s comment is a reference to their parties. But he purposely worded it in a way that he knew Elyssa wouldn’t understand: with a reference to a Dunmer tavern-brothel. No, Ophelia doesn’t actually participate in their parties (having grown up in this place, I think it would be awkward for all people involved); instead she usually goes to visit relatives and comes back to help with the clean-up. That’s not gonna stop Kalin from teasing her anyways. Speaking of Kalin, I really think he didn’t need to be half-naked and lounging on their dining room table during their mealtime. Just saying: I feel like we were interrupting a little more than just “mealtime”.

Now, whether or not Verandis and his "children" have relations with each other when they keep referring to each other by familial names ("father", "sister") is a different story; the idea makes me uncomfortable. But I'm fairly certain Kalin (who is not "a family member") and mortal guests can get some action with the vampires.

In regards to the mortal servants: I’m sorry, ZOS. I don’t care how much magic is pumping through Tamriel’s veins; you will never convince me that two servants (Kalin and Estelle) can feed a household of five vampires once a night every night (even more than five vampires if you save the two people during the Rivenspire quests). Even with magical “produce more blood” potions, I felt the need to add at least two more mortals to the household…I hope readers don’t mind…

It did get me thinking: how does Verandis find these people? I doubt he just puts up an ad onto the Shornhelm bulletin board. Can you imagine? “Help wanted. Must have lots of blood and no aversion to pointy objects in your neck” (I’m kidding). Melina Cassel’s comments in her hireling mails implies that Verandis doesn’t force the servants to give blood as a part of their contract (she makes mention that Estelle giving blood goes “beyond the call of duty”). But there probably is a preference for those who aren’t averse to parting with a bit of their life force every now and then. In Kalin’s case, I’m like 99% convinced his half naked Dunmer self does it because he thinks it’s hot.

I actually had a mock up done of the Castle Ravenwatch basement/lower floor on the PTS using Daggerfall Overlook. I’m not sure if anyone would be interested enough in it for me to post a pic of it though. (yes, I know. I saw the Ravenwatch Prologue and I don’t care)

I really hope ZOS comes up with a house crest for House Ravenwatch soon; otherwise I will have to make my own…

I know it may not seem like it from this chapter, but I actually have fallen madly in love with Fennorian. But it doesn’t technically appear during the Rivenspire questline, and I actually want Elyssa’s first time meeting him to be during her visit to Western Skyrim and doing something like the Bound in Blood quest.

The goat: It’s more of an inside joke I have with myself. When I was going through the Rivenspire questline for the first time, I noticed that there’s a goat that appears behind Ravenwatch Castle. At first, I thought it coincided the appearance and disappearance of Kalin. So I made a joke to myself that Kalin IS the goat. (Later I found out the goat’s appearance has nothing to do with whether or not Kalin the NPC is around. Still, I thought it would be funny to poke at that idea in the fic).

I have a problem with the Stormhaven storyline and this idea that you have to have this specific potion made with the Dream Shard just to avoid dreams. For the purposes of this story, I’m going to re-write that part so that the Dream Shard created potion is only to prevent Vaermina’s magic from interfering with your dreams specifically, and that there are likely plenty of other alchemy potions (sleep potions) that could prevent dreams (but not necessarily prevent Vaermina or her followers from affecting your sleep or giving you nightmares anyways). I just wanted to make that distinction.

While I wouldn’t doubt Vaermina might torment the Vestige in their sleep as a payback, I doubt the Daedric Prince would care enough to do it constantly (just the feeling that I got when I finished the Stormhaven questline was that Vaermina wasn’t too perturbed by being thwarted. Her “imprisoning” the Vestige in her realm was half-hearted as well; you could easily leave. Like she had much bigger fish to fry than you).

In regards to House Ravenwatch and sexuality again: I wanted to state more bluntly that No, I do not think the vampiric family members have sex with each other because they keep referring to each other as "brother" and "sister" (and to Verandis as "father") in canon. Yes, I know they're probably not ACTUALLY related to each other, but still. Instead, I think they have rampant naked parties with fully willing fully adult mortal participants. Let's be honest: there's got to be at least as many mortals in Tamriel who think vampires are hot as there are people in our world that think vampires are hot...Also. You know. Kalin. Half naked. On the table. Just saying.

PLEASE NOTE: Elyssa Arboretum is NOT the actual name of my character. I changed her last name for this story because...well....I'm a little shy. If you ever meet someone in game that has a name similar but not exact, it MIGHT be me. I usually like being on my own, as social situations can cause me great stress (especially if they're strangers). I am so sorry, and I greatly appreciate your understanding...

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She was staring at a wall.

….

…….

To be fair, it was a very nice wall.

…

….

….Although it did take her more than a moment’s time to realize she was staring at it sideways.

…

…And even longer to realize that she was staring at it sideways because she was lying down.

Groaning out of partial frustration, Elyssa heaved herself into a sitting position.

A soft bed and warm blankets were there to greet her, and they were inviting enough that she was sorely tempted to just go back to sleep.

But the longer she sat there, the faster the memories of the previous days nagged at her:

High Rock.

Blood fiends.

A plot to conquer the entirety of Rivenspire by a grieving and spiteful Breton noble.

The usual.

….

……She had to know what time it was.

Covers flung wide, she jumped out of bed. Or tripped, rather; a creak in her back found her eagerness a bit disagreeable. And it took a bit rubbing out her muscles to get her poor back to stand up straight.

But she hurried to make her way downstairs, whether her sore back liked it or not, when she heard the echoes of a conversation.

Gwendis and Melina were both there in the main hall. Gwendis was literally lounging on top of her coffin, her arm lazily hanging over her eyes as if she meant to sleep like that.

Melina was at the table, toying with an array of colorful runestones.

“Good morning, Elyssa,” Melina cheerfully greeted her as she approached.

“Morning, Melina. Morning Gwendis.”

Gwendis only gave a grunt in response.

Elyssa took a spot next to Melina, watching her as she carefully examined one rune at a time before placing them into different, colorful piles.

“Did you sleep well?” Melina asked, frowning and squinting closer to her own hand when she noticed the rune she held had its surface defaced.

“Better than well. I think this was the best sleep I’ve had since…it’s got to have been weeks...I feel fantastic…”

Melina chuckled a little. “Well if you get such wonderful sleep in our home, perhaps you should stay with us then! At least, for a while. We get so few guests; I find it a little exciting to have someone new with us. And, provided you’re still interested, I’d love the opportunity to show you a few basic enchanting techniques. You know…when all this…ah, bloodfiend business is over.”

Elyssa perked up with a grin. “I think I’d really like that. And maybe you could take a look at that book I got, the one I told you about? It really doesn’t make a lick of sense to me, and it would be great if someone could translate it into something more ‘beginner level’.”

“Oh of course, dear. I’ll certainly give it a try when we’re all a little less pre-occupied…”

“Wake me up when the world’s ending,” Gwendis moaned, still lounging on her perch.

“Is she all right?” Elyssa asked, leaning towards Melina.

“Oh she’s fine. Just cranky after scouting out half of Rivenspire for Adusa. She’ll be better after she gets some rest….”

Melina’s eyes narrowed at Gwendis. “She’d feel even better if she actually bothered to go inside her coffin instead of sleeping on the hard stone lid...”

“That requires getting up…” Gwendis complained.

Melina gave a sigh, then went back to her rune sorting.

But Elyssa continued to stare at Gwendis, lost in thought.

“Do vampires dream?” She asked, absentmindedly.

“Of course we do,” Melina replied. “My favorite dreams involve handsome men, coming to sweep me off my feet and take me far away to their extravagant and elaborate castle where we watch the stars and raise our nineteen adopted children together…”

“Which, for Melina, is nineteen too many,” Gwendis chimed in with a chuckle.

“Oh hush you. If you’re too tired to lift a coffin lid than you’re too tired to make fun of my fantasies.”

“Do you really want nineteen children?” Elyssa asked.

“Well…” She started with a bit of a grimace, “Maybe not quite THAT many….But I do want at least a child or two. I adore children, they can be so sweet sometimes…”

She stared with melancholy as she traced the face of a beautiful rune.

“Never making assumptions….never judging you…” She continued, solemnly.

“Breaking all the furniture in the house,” Gwendis remarked with a more lighthearted air.

“I suppose they can also be quite destructive too,” Melina gave out a little laugh. “But what about you, Elyssa? Have you ever thought about children?”

Elyssa made a face. “I think my horse is enough of a handful…”

She straightened up in a panic when she remembered her horse.

“Wait, my horse! I put her around back in that shed place like Ophelia told me to, but I forgot to ask: was that really okay? What if the bloodfiends got to her? Should I go check on her?”

Melina patted her hand reassuringly just as she stood.

“Don’t fret there, dear. The bloodfiends tend to lean away from anything that doesn’t smell like food, and our scent is all over these grounds. It wards the little monsters away from our beautiful castle.”

Elyssa sat back down out of relief.

“Besides,” Melina added, “Our beloved little goat would have been eaten a long time ago if it were otherwise.”

“That goat!” Elyssa groaned. “I mean, speaking of kids and destruction: your goat wouldn’t stop headbutting me as I was trying to take off my horse’s tack, and I was very nearly tempted to kick him straight into your lake. How do you get him to stop?”

“Elyssa!” Melina chastised with a cluck. “That’s no way to treat Kalin.”

“Yes but—“ Elyssa cut off as those words wormed their way into her head. “Wha….”

She turned to Melina, face contorted in a mixture of utter confusion with a touch of horror. “What? But I thought Kalin was the name of your…”

“Our resident Weregoat, yes.”

“Your resident… what?”

“Were. Goat.” Melina said with precise articulation.

Elyssa stared at her as if she’d grown an extra head. “You’re pulling my leg.”

“Me?” Melina asked, offended and with her hand firmly at her heart. “Why I’d never!”

That did nothing to convince Elyssa.

“Gwendis…” Elyssa sighed, turning to the lounging vampire. “Is there such thing as Weregoats?“

Gwendis lazily lifted her arm to give her a side eye. “I mean, I think you should really focus on apologizing to Kalin for thinking about throwing him into the lake…Ya got some priorities you need to sort here…”

Elyssa flushed in embarrassment. She’d never heard of a weregoat before. But then, she’d never heard of friendly vampires until just yesterday. And someone did tell her once that werebears were an actual thing…

“All…All right…” Elyssa said, slowly. Not quite fully prepared to believe. “Then when do weregoats transform?”

“Why, none other than the evening of every second Morndas of the month. Which, I believe, was yesterday. Is that not correct, Gwendis?”

“Yeee-ep.” Gwendis replied, lazily letting the word hang in the air.

“Okay,” Elyssa said, a little less confident in herself. “But why a goat, of all things?”

“Please,” Melina said, “Do I look like Hircine? For all we know, the Daedric Prince of the Hunt punishes those who scorn him with this…awful curse. Such poor people might be used as fodder in the Prince’s hunting games. All the more reason why he needs to stay, safe and sound, with us.”

Elyssa gave Melina a critical eye. The vampire had been a bit overdramatic in the way she’d said “awful curse”, but otherwise it seemed she was serious.

Gwendis, likewise, seemed fairly serious too, even as she kept lounging on her coffin lid.

Elyssa sighed, defeated.

“I guess I really should apologize to Kalin for getting irritated with him…”

“If you still don’t believe us, you can check out his tail,” Gwendis chipped in, “Ask if he’ll drop his pants and show you his hindquarters.”

Elyssa flushed red, and was about to reply that she would not, under any circumstances, ask to see the Dunmer’s posterior.

But a strangled noise brought her attention back to Melina, and her eyes narrowed in as the lady vampire struggled to keep a straight face.

“You…” Elyssa accused. “You both are pulling my leg after all!”

Melina released the laughter she had apparently been holding in, and Gwendis was happy to chuckle alongside her.

“Come on, Mel,” Gwendis accused, “We had something here.”

The other’s laughter died down to a grin.

“Oh but Gwendis, I think you went a little too far with that one. If she honestly asked Kalin to bare himself…you know how he gets…He’d probably acquiesce.”

“But that was the best part about it.” Gwendis grinned back.

“Well I don’t think it’s very nice,” Elyssa grumbled.

“Come on.” Gwendis said “We’re just teasing ya a bit. A little hazing just to check if you’re good with our House and all.”

“Besides,” Melina added. “It was positively adorable that you were willing to believe in weregoats.”

“Yeah. I’m just so gullible aren’t I?” Elyssa replied bitterly, remembering what the Count had told her last night about being a little too trusting of people.

“Come now, dear.” Melina said, patting her hand. “We’re sorry. Truly. And how about I put my money where my mouth is and give you extra runestones for your next shipment as a little apology gift?”

“I guess…” She replied, trying to refrain from any signs that free stuff had indeed perked up her mood just slightly.

She found out she didn’t need to put much effort into that; the Count himself emerged from his study to interrupt.

“Good morning, Elyssa. May I have a word with you?” The statement was short, sweet, and a bit curt. Although that could have just been his High Elven accent.

“Do something naughty while we were gone, did ya?” Gwendis grinned at her just as Elyssa got up to join him.

“Wha—No! Of course not!”

Gwendis’ chuckle seemed to almost follow her as she joined Verandis by the bookshelves. This time, he forewent a book in favor of leaning against the shelves, his arms crossed while he regarded her carefully.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Like a rock.” She stretched out her back a little with a wince. “I even woke up feeling a little like a rock.”

“Probably because you spent the better part of the night sleeping on my floor. If I hadn’t decided to venture upstairs to dabble with a little more alchemy, you’d have woken up there too. Why didn’t you drink the potion while you were in bed?”

“I did!” Elyssa cheerfully replied, holding a finger up, “But then I thought it would be a good idea to fetch a little more wine to wash it down.”

His eyebrows rose as he gave her a pointed look

“I mean,” Elyssa continued, her hands dropping to her side again, “At the time it seemed like a good idea. Obviously it’s not such a good idea after the fact.”

The Count stared at her critically for a good while before he closed his eyes with a sigh. When he re-opened them, he was back to contemplative again.

“You’re lucky you suffered no serious injuries; you could have easily gained yourself a concussion. It seems the Divines do more than simply gift you powerful light magic: it appears they’re also the only things that are keeping you alive.”

“Hey!”

“Which brings me to the reason I called you here. I took the liberty of making a full batch of sleeping draught for you. The bottles are on a tray upstairs labeled with their purpose and your name.”

“Really?” Elyssa’s face lit up; the potential to actually get decent sleep was literally being handed to her. “Thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. This stuff is fantastic; I didn’t dream at all after drinking it.”

“Which is something I need to warn you of. As you’ve discovered for yourself, the draught places you in a very deep sleep. Too deep to dream…and most certainly too deep to be easily roused. If someone were to grab you or hurt you, you will likely not awaken. Make sure to never take a dose unless you are absolutely certain of your safety.”

She was much less enthusiastic about this caveat; inn rooms were expensive, and camping was often inevitable for a lot of places.

“So…I probably shouldn’t drink any if it’s just me and my sleeping roll out in the open...”

“I would severely recommend against that. Instead, if you absolutely cannot sleep and cannot find a safe haven, take a quarter dosage. It will not rid you of your dreams, but it will help keep you from a restless night without sacrificing your ability to respond to potential threats.”

She gave him a wry smile. “Aaaaand let me guess; I’ll have to come back to you every time I run out, won’t I? Should I start looking for a house in Rivenspire?”

He waved the questions away. “No need. I’ve written down the recipe for you. Even if you do not feel comfortable brewing it yourself, you need only take the instructions to any community’s resident alchemist. It’s straightforward enough that any one of them should be able to provide it for you.”

She nodded and mimicked his stance to recline against the bookshelves, albeit from the opposite end. Silence hung in the air, and he was still regarding her carefully.

“…That’s not all you called me here for. Is it?” Elyssa finally spoke up.

“No, it’s not.” Verandis sighed. She could tell from his very tone he was contemplating his words carefully. “Elyssa…have you considered spending time in Wayrest for a while? There’s a flower festival that happens every year around this time, I believe. I can only vouch for what I’ve seen from afar, but it’s does seem a rather popular event…”

She stared at him incredulously. “We’re in the middle of a situation where bloodfiends and vampires are trying to take over the entire province…”

“Indeed. And we have more than enough people here to handle it.”

She winced back as if he had struck her. ‘We don’t need you’ was the unspoken implication.

“Oh? Am I a burden to you now?” She spat back bitterly.

“Child—“

“So what that I’m young? That I have nightmares, and that you found out about them. Now I’m suddenly too pathetic to be of any use to you, is that right?”

“Listen to me—“

“No, you listen to me! What was all that stuff you told me last night? How it was okay to have weaknesses? I’m grateful you gave me potions to help with my sleep, but I’m not worthless just because I need them! And you!”

She pointed an accusing finger at him.

“You have no right to order me out of Rivenspire like this! You aren’t my parent. You aren’t my Emperor. You’re not even the King of Rivenspire.”

She could tell, from the way his face perceptively changed, that the last statement hit a mark. But she was too angry to care.

“No. I’m going to stay right here. I’m going to help defeat Baron Montclair. I’m gonna fight a whole bunch of bloodfiends to reach him…” She stared him down, fists clenched at her side, “And there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop me.”

He stared back at her, calmly watching for an indication that she was finished.

“Elyssa…” When he finally spoke, it was soft, slow, and soothing. “I do not believe I ever said you were worthless or pathetic.”

“And yet you’re ordering me to go off prancing at a flower festival.”

“I’m not ordering you to do anything, child. I’m merely making a suggestion. A suggestion based on what I’ve seen and what you’ve told me…You need a moment to relax and recover. One cannot keep shouldering so many burdens without cracking underneath their pressures.”

“But I’m also needed here. Back at Shornhelm, you said I had powerful light magic. Better than most.” She reminded him. “And that I could be a great help in all this, since we’re fighting people whose very skin cracks under the light…”

“And, to an extent, I stand by those words. Light magic is notoriously tricky to learn compared to the other elements, and yet it seems to come to you as easily as breathing does. This is unheard of, particularly for someone at your age. There are those who would even go so far as to call you a prodigy, myself included.”

The unexpected praise took a little of the edge off her rage.

“But you’re still inexperienced, and it’s painfully obvious you have not had any formal training in combat; your footwork is sloppy and you leave far too many openings for your opponent to take advantage of. This might not be particularly risky when dealing with mindl0ess bloodfiends, creatures which have very little ability to strategize. But the full-fledged vampires in Montclair’s army won’t hesitate to use that against you. Furthermore, why aren’t you using a staff?”

She straightened up with pride. “Swords are cool.”

He paused as if this was not the answer he was expecting.

“A staff would make a tremendous improvement on your magicka flow.” He continued on with the same tone of voice. He had, apparently, elected to ignore her statement. “You might even see an additional threefold improvement in the manifestation of your abilities.”

“But it would leave me wide open. Greatswords help me guard against blows…”

“And so can staves…”

He walked over to retrieve his own firestaff that had been waiting in the corner for him. Holding it out for her to look at, he gestured to its components.

“A typical battlestaff is made with combat in mind, and part of that involves the possibility that you will need to block a blow if your opponent finds a way to come within reach. You can see here how my own weapon has its wood reinforced with a layer of metal. Furthermore, are the multiple runes embedded into its spine…”

His finger traced over the weapon. As if in response to its owner’s command, several symbols glowed across the length of it, brightly shining for a brief moment before settling back to normal.

“These, too, are designed with its protection in mind. And with the mind of maintaining consistent magicka flow. A staff that can no longer provide a steady resonation with its owner’s power is not only useless, but dangerous. Such a weapon risks a catastrophic explosion if the user was not careful; thus, the important of the runes. And as for its bladed tip…”

He gestured to the very top of the staff, in which the blade has been sharpened to fine edge.

“It is not unusual for many staff artisans to include a bladed tip in their work. It does nothing to impair the staff’s traditional function and offers the advantage to utilize it as a make-shift spear, should the need require it.”

He set the staff aside back in its designated corner.

“Staves may not be as….” He gave her an indulgent smile “…flashy as some other weapons, but they are nonetheless perfectly viable, and adaptable to changing situations on the battlefield.”

Elyssa grumbled, unimpressed. “First you order me out of the region, now you’re ordering me to change my weapon—“

“Just another suggestion, Elyssa. A suggestion,” The Count interrupted with wry smile. He went to return to his books once again.

“As you say, Father.” She mockingly shot back. She waited for a moment to see if he’d react to that, if only just a little bit. But her frustration grew a tad when it was clear he was utterly unfazed by the title, continuing on in his books without so much as a raised eyebrow.

She grumbled again, and turned to leave the library.

“And please do not forget to eat before you leave, my daughter.” He called after her.

She froze in the doorway, and took a moment to glance back at him; her face full of surprise.

His reading was as focused as it always was, but he did pause to look up when he noticed her watching.

“Something wrong?” He asked, and the very end of his mouth seemed to twist ever so slightly in a smile that almost looked….devious.

“N-no…” She replied shakily, the surprise lining her face beginning to tinge just slightly with mortification.

She thought the damned vampire elf would be too serious to give much of a reaction, let alone throw her comment back in her face.

“Then by all means: do try to make me proud out there.” He turned the page and returned to his books, still with that damnable little smile.

“I---“ Elyssa closed her mouth almost as soon as she’d opened it, before she said anything she might later come to regret, and decided it was far better to just turn around and walk away.

She could hear Gwendis’ muffled, gentle laughter beside her as she passed the coffins, and it only made her more determined to try and keep the red from her face from showing; it was likely most of the vampiric members of the household had overheard.

Melina, too, seemed to struggle with her own smile as Elyssa passed her.

“Oh,” Melina said. “I believe Ophelia made some honey bread this morning, if that pleases you, dear sister.”

“Shut up.” Elyssa muttered back, and made haste for the guest room before either of them could comment further.

She ignored the tray of alchemy bottles that had been set aside for her on the table, deciding she could figure out the logistics of safely storing them in her pack later. Once safely within the walls of her temporary bedroom, she made a beeline for her gear.

She was quickly getting used to putting it on; the intricacies that went into the chainmail underside and the straps that accompanied the plate outer layer did not seem to trouble her as much as it did weeks ago.

Her feet brought her to stand in front of the mirror, admiring her work. She looked almost like a real soldier.

Honorary member of the Lion Guard, Elyssa Arboretum.

The memory of the guard announcing this while offering the suit of tailored armor played in her head. It was to be expected: in spite of all the things she had (somehow) managed to accomplish, she wasn’t actually a soldier. She had no training in their regiment…nor was she even technically a citizen of High Rock.

‘You’re footwork is sloppy and you leave too many openings’

‘It seems the Divines do more than simply gift you powerful light magic: it appears they’re also the only things that are keeping you alive’

These new words began to rotate in her head, churning into doubts.

Most of her opponents, thus far, had either been werewolves overcome by their animalistic desires, nature corrupting spirits, mindless zombies, or clumsy bandits and disorganized cultist members…None of them had combat styles that could be comparable to word “finesse”. So her usual method of brute forcing her way with powerful spears of light magic before swinging her greatsword around in a haphazard manner had always worked out. Tactics, strategy, and footwork were never things she ever thought about on a regular basis.

Even with Angof the Gravesinger...he almost seemed like the more she fought with him, the more he just…gave up. As if his motivation to defeat her was shriveling away like the very vines he failed to grow. Most of his necromantic abilities didn’t stand a chance against the element of light; she barely even needed to concentrate to sweep the floor clear of his zombies. They faded to dust almost as soon as she touched them with even the dimmest glow of her power. And that wasn’t even mentioning the fact that she had plenty of help at her side at the time…

….

...What if she’d just been lucky so far in her opponents?

That all of her “deeds” were nothing more than the culmination of her brute forcing her own “prodigy-like” magic and having the “Gods’ luck” on her side?

…..

….Was she actually making a difference?

She struck a pose in the mirror, hoping to look impressive decked out in her armor…but her rounded cheeks and short stature did nothing to wipe away the traditional, youthful appearance of a Breton.

Why couldn’t she have inherited at least a little of her Imperial father’s more chiseled features?

She stuck her tongue out at herself, and was greeted with an even more childish sight as a result. Fully frustrated, she grabbed her pack and stuck a few of her things in it.

She frowned at the alchemy bottles; it was times like these that she wished she had a bigger protective bottle case in her pack. She was grateful that he made her so much, but there was just a few too many to fit.

And she was hungry.

…She huffed, and decided she’d have to figure out the problem of the bottles later.

As she made her way downstairs, she caught sight of Gwendis and Melina chatting at the dining table; Gwendis finally appeared to have made it off her coffin. Elyssa was almost tempted to throw a teasing comment at her for that.

Further downstairs was the basement level.

She’d been told it was always kept locked, mostly so that the household (both vampire and servant) could have a place of privacy away from any visiting guests. The main kitchen was down there, however, and so she found herself knocking at the basement door.

“Why good morning to you, Elyssa!” The cheerful face of an older, gray haired Imperial woman greeted her.

“Good morning, Ophelia. Melina told me you have some honey bread all made up?”

“I do. I do indeed; my lady must have smelled it from the hall. Come in, sweetie, and I’ll cut you a few slices.”

The basement of Ravenwatch castle was, perhaps, even more homely than its main hall. Reminiscent of the guest suite, there were no gargoyle statues or eclectic furnishings (save for the two coffins in the center of the room, one of which had to be Melina’s). A roaring fireplace lit up the place brighter than the other rooms, perhaps for the benefit of the servants as they had their own separate room nearby.

Workstations filled with alchemy ingredients and enchanting components lined the walls. A mysterious door to an even deeper cellar was in the far corner (she was told it was strictly forbidden to anyone not of the House; and that only made her slightly more curious about it). Finally, there was a full kitchen to the side; much nicer than the kitchenette of the upstairs guest suite.

Ophelia wasn’t the only servant awake; the others were out and about as well.

The Breton, Estelle, was by the fire, working on some sort of sewing. She was the only one Elyssa hadn’t formally met; they told her she was of a skittish disposition, particularly around strangers. From what was mentioned, the Count had found and rescued her from bandits who had badly abused her. Until she got used to a new person, it was advised for that individual to leave her alone unless absolutely necessary.

Anise, a Bosmer, was at the nearby dining table, a table that was a much smaller twin to the grander one of the main hall. She….definitely looked like she was still asleep, her small head propped up by her arms at the table. Narcolepsy was something Ophelia had mentioned; apparently Anise had trouble finding someone to hire her in a ‘traditional’ job because of her condition. But the household wasn’t perturbed by the idea of narcolepsy, and had hired her practically on the spot the moment she revealed she was perfectly comfortable with the idea of serving vampires.

Ophelia herself was busy cutting an impressively large portion of an equally impressively large loaf of sweet smelling bread. Elyssa recalled that when she had previously asked what the Imperial thought about living here, the older woman had merely scoffed. For Ophelia, it was just tradition; her family had served House Ravenwatch for a handful of generations. She had literally grown up in the castle. So, naturally, she was quite fine with it all.

Kalin, one of the ones Elyssa had spoken to the most (but ironically knew the least about), was lounging about at the wall near the kitchen, eyeing her carefully. The only information she had on the Dunmer was that he was the oldest and longest serving of all the mortals who stayed there.

“So our guest yet lives…” He said, that slow sardonic drawl of his hanging in the air. “Do tell; how does it feel knowing you survived a night in a vampire’s stronghold?”

“Got better sleep here than in most inn rooms.” She responded, grinning. “You all seem to get along really well with each other.”

He laughed. “Indeed….we’re quite….close with each other…”

“Kalin,” Ophelia warned.

“Some of us ….closer…than others.”

“Kalin.”

“You might even say it’s a regular Ebony Flask around here--”

Ophelia banged her knife down flat with a loud clunk, staring him down with a none-too pleased grimace.

“What’s an Ebony Flask?” Elyssa asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Now you see? She’s only going to start asking more questions…” Ophelia said.

“What…Is it something bad?”

“Not at all…” Kalin continued, an exceptionally wolfish grin lining his face. “Ophelia is only upset because sometimes even she—“

“That’s it!” Ophelia pointed her knife at him from afar. “You. Out of my kitchen!”

“My work here is done…” Kalin stated in monotone, impish grin still on his lips as he strolled out the basement doors.

He held it open for Gwendis, who had found her way downstairs.

“Gwendis!” Elyssa approached her “Kalin said it’s like a regular Ebony Flask around here; what does that mean?”

Whatever emotion Gwendis’ face had before vanished as she stared off into the distance with pursed lips. She took a deep breath through her nose…

….Then turned and walked right back through the basement doors again.

“Wha-Gwendis?!”

“Never you mind that, sweetie.” Ophelia interjected with an almost strangled voice. “Why don’t you come and have some breakfast? I made you some eggs and bacon too; I think you could use the protein, going out to fight as you do. Might even put a little meat on those bones.”

Melina was next to come through the doors, clutching her satchel of runes and yawning all the while. And Elyssa immediately abandoned her breakfast plate to jump on the opportunity.

“Melina! Kalin talked about an ‘Ebony Flask’. What does he mean by that?”

Melina paused mid yawn, a curious expression forming on her face.

“Oh Elyssa…” She sighed. “I’m afraid I’m much too tired to have this conversation. We can have this talk after I’ve taken my rest…”

“My lady, I must protest!” Ophelia exclaimed.

Melina gained a rather mischievous smile at Ophelia’s outburst. “Very well. We can have this talk after I’ve taken my rest AND after Ophelia has gone to bed.”

“My lady, please.”

Elyssa grinned as Melina gave her a little wink. Seeing that, Ophelia’s protestations started to die down into more of a sputter.

“Herding cats around here…” Elyssa could hear Ophelia mutter under her breath as the older woman re-doubled her cleaning efforts. “Some days, I swear…”

But Elyssa was far more interested in what Melina was doing: heading towards one of the stone coffins in the main area of the room.

Melina caught sight of her following close behind.

“Curious, are we?” She asked with a slightly amused smile.

“I just want to see what’s in it.” Elyssa beamed back at her.

“What might you think is in it?” Melina cocked her head slightly.

“I…” Elyssa tried to think of all the vampire stories she knew. Which wasn’t very helpful. She knew they supposedly slept in coffins, but she never really heard any stories about what they slept with. “…Jewels?”

The lady vampire laughed. “I’m not a dragon!”

The coffin lid scraped across its base as she moved it, revealing a cushioned lining, a small horde of pillows and a patterned blanket. Though the outside was drab stone, the inside looked…rather homey. For a coffin.

“Not quite what you were hoping for?” Melina asked, as it seemed she noticed her dismay.

“I don’t know.” Elyssa frowned. “Why not just sleep in a bed then?”

The vampire bit at her lower lip in contemplation.

“Well…I can’t speak for the others…But in my case…” She shifted uncomfortably. “I--the first days of my new life were spent constantly under threat from the sun, even when I tried to sleep….especially when I tried to sleep. I developed a bit of a phobia for it. And after a while, I just started to feel…more at ease in places that were dark and enclosed.”

She fondly traced the edges of the lid. “Sleeping in a box of some sort is the easiest way to accomplish that. But they don’t usually make human shaped cargo boxes...And asking for one would likely raise too many questions…But coffins…”

The vampire waved towards her open resting place.

“...Coffins are requested all the time. Even coffins ordered to your exact specifications; no one ever bats an eye over measurements…It’s a convenience, really.”

“So…you could sleep in a bed if you wanted to?”

“The bed itself certainly wouldn’t kill us. But….our reactions aren’t always fast when we’re groggy and it’s the middle of the day, so if someone were to open the drapes on any of us while we lay exposed and slumbering…”

“But all of the windows here are glazed over; I could open all the drapes in the castle and the sun still wouldn’t touch you…And I mean…there can’t be that many people who would do something that horrible to you in the first place…”

“That’s very sweet of you to say, Elyssa.” Melina smiled kindly. “It isn’t true, and I think you know that, but it’s very sweet of you to say nonetheless. There are plenty of people out there who wouldn’t hesitate…so…Just…think of the coffin in the same way you’d think of a stuffed toy that a child would cling to; it brings me comfort and assurance to know the sun can’t touch me so long as I’m inside.”

“I’m guessing you’re going to sleep now?” Elyssa watched as Melina kicked off her shoes and settled down among the bright interior of her coffin.

“Mmmm…Indeed. I just simply can’t keep my eyes open any longer…” She sighed happily as she nuzzled one of her pillows. “Won’t you be a dear and close my lid for me?”

“Wait…” Elyssa gestured to the coffin opposite of hers. “Before I do, I wanted to ask: there’s five coffins total, but I thought there was only four of you…”

“Oh…that one would belong to my dear, sweet brother…” Melina lazily said, already with half lidded eyes. “You won’t likely meet him; he’s gone and locked himself in the cellar. Out of abundance of caution, mostly. He’s been having difficulties these days, and…oh, well, he’s such a sweetheart; he’d do anything to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone…”

“I see….” Elyssa said, suddenly solemn as she stared out towards the cellar hatch. “I hope he feels better.”

“Indeed, as do I. I so hate to think of him stuck down there, but it was his choice and my Lord approved…”

She let out another yawn. “Ah…oh, excuse me. I’m so sorry, Elyssa. But I must really bid you a good day; I cannot possibly stay awake a moment longer. Please promise you’ll stay safe. I’ve already become a bit fond of you, and I would hate it terribly if you were injured….”

“I’ll promise I’ll try not to die. Have a good night…erm…I mean day. Have a good day, Melina.”

Melina gave her one last, sweet smile as Elyssa pushed close the lid.

…It was a lot heavier than anticipated.

She had to shove her shoulder against it just to get it shut. The clunk of the stone finding the indentation on its base was louder than she’d thought it would be and caused her to jump.

Giving one last look towards the cellar hatch, as if expecting another vampire to appear any moment, Elyssa went back to the table. Eggs, bacon, and honey bread were shoveled down as fast as she could manage.

~~~

She walked out of the basement a little too full; Ophelia had insisted on giving her a second helping of eggs and bacon, and had even tried for a third. Given the sort of conversations that had accompanied breakfast, Elyssa had a nagging feeling that the older woman had been desperately trying to distract her from Ebony Flasks. And, of course, that did nothing but make her more curious.

Chances were, Ophelia would manage to talk Melina out of explaining it later.

So instead of heading towards the front door with her pack, she made a quick beeline for Gwendis, who had gone back to lounging atop her coffin.

“Psst….Gwendis? Gwendis, what’s an Ebony Flask?” She gave the vampire a few pokes in the arm that was covering her eyes. The skin was oddly cold compared to a mortal’s.

…And the vampire didn’t budge.

“I know you know. You had that look on your face when I asked about it before, so don’t think you can pretend otherwise.”

And the vampire still didn’t budge.

“Aww come on. You can’t be asleep already. And even if you were, there’s a tasty mortal inches from your face nudging you with her fingers. If that doesn’t wake up a vampire, I don’t know what would. So what’s an Ebony Flask? Is it a type of skooma? Do you all get together to use skooma? I won’t judge; I promise.”

She could see Gwendis’ lips twitching against her pale face, but otherwise she continued to remain still.

Elyssa huffed. “Fine. Be that way. I give up. Have a good nigh—day. Day! Ugh. Whatever.”

She passed by Verandis’ study on her way out. He was still in there, working away at his books, as usual. Elyssa was partly tempted to go in and ask him about Ebony Flasks and what that had to do with House Ravenwatch.

But she was still too irritated at him to even make the attempt, and that pushed all other thoughts away; so much so that she simply headed outside without so much as a ‘goodbye’ to him.

The bright sun greeted her as soon as she pushed open the heavy oak doors. She stopped to stretch out as she basked in the warmth.

“Hey don’t forget…” Gwendis’ voice came echoing through the halls behind her, proving that she hadn’t been asleep after all, “…Watch out for the weregoats out there.”

Elyssa’s irritation was matched only by the intensity of how hard she slammed their front door shut.

“I hate you all.” She muttered under her breath. Not that she completely meant it.

But her irritation only grew further as she noticed a bloodfiend at the edge of town, happily gorging itself on a dead citizen.

…

……It was like breathing; such an apt description that Verandis had given her earlier that it became hard for her to think of it otherwise.

Warmth filled the tips of her fingers, a growing sensation that shifted through her palm like a liquid.

Coalescing. Expanding. An extension of her arm, of her will. She often found she only needed to hold the image of a spear in her mind for it to form. And with two steps taken, her momentum helped to send the whole thing forward, hurling through the air.

What was only mere moments resulted in a motionless bloodfiend, a bright spear of solid-like light skewered into its chest.

Unfortunately, it seemed she attracted some attention; another figure lurking in the shadows manifested itself right next to the dead bloodfiend. She readied herself another spear….

…Only to then dissipate the light in her hands when she realized the second figure had cat ears.

And she winced when a rather irate Adusa-daro came towards her.

“H-Hi…Adusa….” She nervously greeted.

“Adusa would appreciate…” The Khajiit began with a glower. “…If the young one would please stop throwing such powerful holy magic so close to this one’s fur…”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I just didn’t see you there when you’re dressed in all black like that!”

“Yes yes; this is exactly the sort of thing Adusa is worried about…” Adusa grumbled, but she didn’t actually seem too upset at her.

Then again, it was difficult to tell; the Khajiit’s black and flowing cloak was surely thick enough to ensure no sunlight ever peaked through, and most definitely dark enough to obscure any body language. It looked to be made of the same fine material as the one she’d seen Verandis wear the other day, and she was sure that, like Verandis’, it held a dark grey outline of their house crest on the back as well.

…Although Verandis’ cloak didn’t exactly have cat ear protrusions on the hood; that would have been a definite improvement. (She made a mental note to herself to tell him to get some cat ears on his cloak. Since he was so eager to give her ‘suggestions’ before, he surely wouldn’t mind receiving ‘suggestions’ in return.).

Elyssa frowned as she attempted to figure out where among the bloodfiends the vampire had been lurking. She only found more bloodfiends.

Which only made her frown more because…well….bloodfiends.

“How can you stand all this going on right outside your doorstep? With these poor people like….like this…?”

She vigorously gestured towards a few of the creatures shambling close by.

“Patience, young one. Tell this one; what is the most important thing we must focus on?”

“Killing Montclair?”

“Yes, good. And what else?”

Elyssa strained herself to think: what else was there besides killing Montclair and dispatching bloodfiends?

“….Er…Killing Montclair…a second time…?”

Adusa groaned. “The living, Elyssa. Living people are important, yes? We must kill Montclair and make sure any living survivors are safe. These are the two most important of all things that we must do.”

She could hear the khajiit grunt in disgust as she waved towards the bloodfiends.

“These….creatures. They can wait until later…The dead will always be here later…The living? Not so much.”

“Sorry; I guess I just took it for granted that we’d help the survivors. I mean…why wouldn’t we? But these bloodfiends here…they do still bother you…right?” Elyssa asked in a quiet voice.

Adusa was in the process of taking down fabric around the face area, which suggested that the cloak, like typical Breton hoods, had a built in face mask.

“We may not have always spoken much to the people here…” Adusa said. Pain on her face as cat-like eyes scanned over the town. “But the ones of Crestshade…they were good people. They do not deserve such a fate. It is….very, very difficult to watch. These townsfolk deserve to be put to rest, and not wander like filthy beasts.”

“Is there a chance that Montclair would use these ones for his army?”

The khajiit shook her head.

“Look at them, young one. They are baking in the sun, and they do not even realize it hurts…Montclair would not win this war on the backs of freshly burnt carcasses falling to pieces. No, the bloodfiends sent here were clearly only meant to coax the people out of their homes and scattered on the winds. To turn to the curse any of those who could not make it out…less people he would have to cow to his would-be rule…”

Adusa’s fangs protruded as she softly snarled, her ears hunched back. “…This one also thinks he may have been trying to mock us a little as well…Send bloodfiends to attack the town while we all were away as an insult to all of our efforts…”

Elyssa remained silent.

She didn’t know how to respond except to look out again amongst the bloodfiends stumbling across the ground…

Their bodies did seem like they were coming apart at the seams; many of them had sun wounds that burrowed straight through their skin, creating gaping holes that only hindered their movements more.

“We must rest and work and focus on the two most important things, Elyssa. Never forget the priorities. And speaking of which: Adusa is glad to have caught you before you left. She has need of you. You will help, yes?”

“What needs to be done?”

“Adusa has been scouting to see how far Montclair’s army has taken its curse, how far it has spread. They have taken over a small town called Moira’s Hope in the south. This one could smell the blood of the living there...but there are also many, many bloodfiends as well. She will need help to cut a path through…and perhaps help with the survivors as well; they are more likely to trust a fellow mortal than Adusa, and there may be need to get them out quickly…”

“Right! I’m with you; I just need to go and get Justice ready…”

“Justice?” Adusa followed Elyssa around back to their stables.

“My horse.”

“…Is that not…How does one say? ‘A little on the nose’?”

“Oh I didn’t name her that. That was the name she came with. If you can believe it, I got her for free from this cranky old Imperial man.” Elyssa’s face screwed up as she recalled the memory. “All eight of his horses were white Imperial thoroughbreds, and ALL of them were named Justice….”

Adusa looked at her with incredulity. “…Did he not have trouble telling them apart?”

“He was so angry; I was afraid to ask too many questions.” She flashed Adusa a nervous smile.

“Very generous, a whole horse….”

“I don’t think he could afford to take care of them all after he’d been displaced from the war. And I think he was also looking to help other citizens of Cyrodiil, because he only offered her to me when he found out I was a fellow refugee…”

Her comment cut short and her muscles tensed up when she came face to face…with him.

He was hanging out, casually, by the awning of the stables, right next to Justice.

He lifted his head to watch her as she approached.

Her arch-nemesis.

The bane of her existence.

The damned goat.

Her blue eyes narrowed in on him; her stance braced for impact.

He stared back, creepy little sideways pupils watching her as if to size her up.

She took a few sidesteps to the right, maintaining eye contact.

He mirrored her maneuver, his soft bleating filled with obvious faux innocence.

She stopped.

He stopped.

The irritating fiend was playing hardball.

Slowly, she inched her way towards her horse, eyes dead center on her foe in anticipation of the slightest mo—

“What...” Adusa’s voice intervened, “…In the name of the blessed moons are you doing?”

“Your goat is pure ev—“

Only a moment; Elyssa had only looked away from her dreaded foe for a moment, and the beast, sensing weakness, lowered its horned head to charge. Just barely was she able to escape the horror of it all by scrambling up the stable post with a yelp.

Adusa stood where she was, her arms crossed, and surveyed the scene with eyes aglow with amusement.

“Hibiscus must like you. She does not usually react in such a manner with anyone else…”

“You call this liking?” Elyssa grimaced as she clung to the stable post and tried to shoo the goat away by waving one foot while trying to balance on the other. “Look at the eyes, Adusa! Those are the eyes of a bloodthirsty creature who has killed before…and will kill again!”

“Speaking as one who knows bloodthirsty creatures, Adusa can assure that Hibby is both safe and does not consume blood,” Adusa began to make her way back around the castle. “This one will see you at Moira’s Hope, then.”

“Wha-you’re leaving me??!” Hibiscus the goat was already making the attempt to scale up the stable walls just to get to her enemy.

“Adusa has every confidence you can handle little Hibby. If not, Hibby’s treat bag is at the right of yourself. Feed her no more than three whole apples; a fat Hibby would make Anise very concerned.”

And with a wave over her shoulder, the hooded Adusa was gone.

Elyssa turned to her adversary.

“So….You’re a girl goat, huh? That’s quite a coincidence. I happen to be a girl human. We have so much in common; please stop trying to kill me.”

The horizontal goat pupils didn’t seem to falter, and she idly wondered if goats were carnivorous.

Her fingers strained as she tried to reach the treat bag, but she only ended up in an awkward, stretched out position with her torso still at the post and the weight of her upper half held up by her reaching fingers. She looked at her horse, who was calmly grazing at a pile of hay.

“A little help?” She asked, not actually expecting her horse to respond.

Sure enough, the horse stared back at her, unfazed and ignorant of her situation, before dipping its head to take in another mouthful of hay.

“First Adusa, now you; the double betrayal hurts just a little bit.” She said, purposefully overdramatic. If only to make herself feel better about the whole situation.

The goat seemed to be getting impatient, as it begun to ram its horned head against the sides of the stable. As if to try and knock her down.

“I have to wonder if you really are trying to kill me…” Elyssa winced as she made a solid lunge for an apple peeking out of the leather bag. Another effortful motion and an apple was tossed as far away as she could manage.

It was a gift from the Gods that Hibby’s priorities involved eating first and everything else second; Elyssa was finally free to drop down. Not necessarily in an elegant way, given her strained position; she ended up with a face full of hay, with her horse making the move to try and lick it off her face.

Straightened up with hay brushed off, she moved to get her horse’s tack on as quick as she possibly could before the demonic goat got back. Part of which required giving a jealous Justice an apple of her own to get her to cooperate.

Her weapons and pack at the ready, she hoisted herself up atop her steed; just in time to watch a distraught Hibby cower from Justice’s mightier hooves. Up high on a horse, she felt a bit more like a knight, regardless of whatever her image in the mirror had shown her before.

Ready to take on the world itself.

A click of the tongue and a flick of the reins, and she was well on her way.

Racing past the bloodfiends as the sun shone in the sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final Author note: Bold of you to assume Verandis wouldn’t adopt your rebellious mortal ass, Elyssa.

#verandis ravenwatch #the elder scrolls online #eso #gwendis #adusa #my fanfiction

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moomkin77 · 4 years

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I have the deepest respect for people who write good fanfiction. Now mind you, I also celebrate all those people who still put themselves out there and write a fanfic, even if it necessarily isn’t as good as someone else’s, because I sure as hell couldn’t do that.

As a writer, I get to enjoy the luxury of creating whole new people and worlds to interact with and expand upon for both my line and others’ enjoyment. There’s a certain kind of freedom you have, with that kind of writing, because there are only your own boundaries and standards that you must uphold. Fanfic writers; however, must adhere to canon in some way shape or form — be it through the plot, setting, or the characters themselves. Some writers tweak the characters’ personalities, or just completely change everything up altogether to provide readers with a new perspective. Some of my favorite fanfictions are written in a way that it explores a character — their motivations, their behavior — so much deeper than what is canonically seen, and yet it still feels like you are connecting with this real and accurate character, even if their personality or whatnot is not quite what you were used to seeing in the show or book or movie. Fanfiction writers are such badasses because they need to be able to capture this character’s original nature be it how they interact with those around them, their inner monologues, the true motivations behind their actions, or even something as simple as their usual speech patterns. They need to write this character in a manner that they accurately reflect how they are portrayed in canon, and then the writer can take some liberties with changing aspects of their actions or personality to fit into an entirely new plot. I cannot imagine how much work and research some fanfic writers have put into making sure the setting for their story is correct, that the various tools and creatures are something likely to be found in the story if only those things were expanded upon in canon.

The time and dedication they put forth to these works of art — because ultimately, that’s what good writing is — only to be ridiculed for their passion because people are too ignorant to acknowledge that fanfiction isn’t juvenile or silly, makes me so incredibly angry.

Don’t like the content of a fanfiction?

Don’t read it then, my dude. (Tags exist for a reason)

Wasn’t as good as you’d hoped it would be?

Oh well, just keep browsing.

Bad grammar?

I understand the frustration, but maybe English or whatever other language you’re reading in isn’t their first language. Just cut ‘em some slack.

Scathing comments are never necessary, because these writers put a lot of time and effort into creating these stories for people all over the world to read an enjoy — for FREE might I add —so they don’t deserve anyone’s shit, especially when they’ve managed to accurately write a literal fictional character who has already been created and perfectly fit them into a whole new and engaging plot. So yeah, mad respect and love to all you awesome fanfic writers out there. Keep writing and stay strong because you have an amazing gift no matter what some assholes might say.

Thank you for humoring my long post, and I’d like to leave you all with a couple shout outs to some good fanfictions and their writers that I’ve read recently and I believe deserve some love and attention. (Also I’m a bit biased but I can live with that)

An amazing Team Fortress 2 fanfiction by my good friend TheTriggeredHappy:

Running Blind

An enrapturing Detroit: Become Human fic by IvyLee:

Hold Up Honey

Many of these cute and short Detroit: Become Human stories, alongside two other fantastic DBH fics by headraline:

Detroit: Become Human Prompts

The Ups and Downs of Trying Something New

Music to my ears

A Spider-Man & Deadpool fanfic series by doctorestranged:

Dead Men Walking

Two wonderful Descendants fanfictions by RebelPaisley:

Love is Actually The Worst

Life is a Masquerade

Another awesome Descendants fic by taytayloulou:

Found Family

An absolutely STUNNING Miraculous Ladybug fanfiction by angelofthequeers:

Hold Me By Both My Hands

An adorable Miraculous Ladybug series by ominousunflower:

Missing the Third

One marvelous The Dragon Prince fic by spiritypowers & wordswithdragons:

(if time is money then) i'll spend it all for you

And lastly, a Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfic by Delmire:

Haven Valley

These are all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I encourage you to give them all a try, but if they’re not your cup of tea that is totally understandable and I hope you find something to read that you genuinely enjoy during these stressful, quarantine-and-virus-filled times.

Sending lots of love and strength to everybody, because I’m sure we’re all struggling through some shit right now, be it school or family related. Don’t let 2020 get you down, and if you wanna chat or ask a question or something, feel free to message me 💙 (also here’s a picture of my grandma’s adorable dog Bailey to cheer you up)

#fanfiction #supporting fanfic authors #cause theyre fucking badass #and deserve so much more love and credit than they get #recommended fics #detroit: become human #descendants #spiderman & deadpool #dragon age: inquisition #the dragon prince #tf2 #miraculous ladybug #also arguably the cutest dog ever

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 years

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30 Days of Fanfic (Days 1-10)

I saw this and thought it could be fun but since I was already a few days behind and a little all over the place, I decided to do them in batches of 10 questions. So here are the first ten days!

Day 1 - How did you get into fanfic?

- How did you first get into writing fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? What do you think it was about that fandom that pulled you in?

I don’t really remember how I got into fic anymore. It was my best friend that dragged me into it and I just... started reading?

The first fandom I wrote for was PJO. I have always loved Greek mythology so I just decided to... go for it. I never finished that fic, though (probably for the best as the ideas were awesome but the execution - not so much)

Day 2 - What fandoms have you written in?

- Name the fandoms you’ve written in, how much you’ve written in those fandoms, and if you still write in them.

That one isn’t so hard as I haven’t written in a lot of fandoms. Here are the ones that I have written in (in order of joining):

Once Upon a Time - 41 fanfics (I do have one collection that I need to finish in this fandom and tons of ideas but while I haven’t officially left the fandom and abandoned the fics, I am not really active there anymore. Which is a damn shame considering how many things I had planned for it. I don’t really feel the inspiration currently, though, but I haven’t given up on it completely.)

Fairy Tail - 8 fanfics (I mostly join any of the annual weeks for different ships in this fandom. I do have some ideas but I haven’t found the motivation for them yet. Even if a few of them were really cool and I loved them a lot.)

Winx Club - 86 fanfics (This one is my most active fandom currently. I do still write in it and I hope that will hold true for the foreseeable future as well.)

Lucifer - 1 fanfic (that was more of an experiment and I don’t really plan on writing more there)

Day 3 - Favorite characters?

- For each of the fandoms you have written in, what were/are your favorite characters to write? Why were these characters your favorite? (Can be main, side, established, or original!)

Um, okay. Let’s see.

Once Upon a Time - Regina Mills was my favorite character to write because I was mostly interested in her and I could see a lot of similarities between us. I wanted to explore more of her and her relationships with the other characters.

Fairy Tail - I don’t think I really had a favorite character to write here. They were all sort of... hard to get? And I haven’t written nearly enough of anyone to be able to pick a favorite.

Winx Club - I want to say Griffin but I think I might love writing Valtor just a tad bit more. At least at the moment. Maybe it is that he is more emotional and impulsive and I can get behind that and know how to write it? I also related a lot with some things about him and other times it is simply fun to write him when he is being an asshole. But there’s also a lot of emotional stuff to explore there. I don’t really know. I just love writing him.

Lucifer - Uhh... I only really wrote two characters from there and from them Chloe Decker was certainly the one that was easier so I chose to write my only fic from her PoV. I love the characters on the show but I don’t think I get them enough to write them that well yet so I am not pushing to do it.

Day 4 - Muse/special character?

- Do you have a ‘muse’ character(s), that speaks to you more than others, or that tries to push their way in, even when the fic isn’t about them? Who are they, and why did that character(s) became your muse? Are they a canon character or an OC?

Did I mention Valtor? Man, talk about trying to write something that he doesn’t sneak in. The few fics that I was actually focusing on other characters didn’t suffer from this but a fic that has Griffin inevitably brings out the need to at least mention Valtor in it as well. I have had to actively restrain myself from bringing him in a couple of times when I really wanted to write about anything else other than their relationship. I guess that is my muse. XD Not one of them separately but the two of them together. I am having all the feelings about them. Let’s leave it off here because I will get too many feelings otherwise.

Day 5 - Envisioning characters?

- Do you have techniques you use to help you visualise a character, such as picrews, faceclaims, moodboards, or fanart? Have you commissioned or created art to go with your fics, or provided references (picrews, faceclaims etc) for readers or yourself?

I am the worst at envisioning characters. I think it might be because I am trying to get in the mindset of the character so if I am in their head, I can’t see their appearance. (Maybe I should try writing with a mirror nearby. XD) I do make aesthetics but their purpose isn’t that much to help me envision the characters. I mostly avoid the envisioning part by focusing on emotional things and if I absolutely have to write descriptions, I try to keep it minimalistic. I have done sort of a picrew thing for my original characters but not for any fandom I’m in. A friend of mine made an illustration for one of my fics but it was after I wrote it and she actually used what I had managed to envision already to paint the thing. Envisioning characters is not my strength and I don’t even know how I function as a writer despite that.

Day 6 - Gender Preference?

- When you write, do you have a gender preference for your protagonist and/or the rest of the cast? Is it the same or different from your own gender? Do you feel your own gender is well represented, and how do you go about accurately portraying genders different from your own?

I couldn’t care less for the protagonist’s gender. I write the story from the PoV that is best for it. I try to focus on the personality of the character rather than on any other characteristics.

Day 7 - Fic affecting your view of a character?

- Have you ever had a fic you’ve written change your opinion of a character? Or has a fic you’ve read changed your opinion on a character?

Probably only... every fic I’ve ever written? I mean, as you write, your vision on the characters develops and, essentially, changes. There have certainly been fics that have made me reflect more or in a different way on an aspect of a character and have led me to change my view of that character in a way. It is kind of the point of being in a fandom and reading other people’s fics, I’d say.

Day 8 - OCs

- Do you write OCs? And if so, what do you do to make certain they’re not Mary Sues, and if not, explain your thoughts on OCs.

I only write OCs when the story demands it as it demands positions that the existing characters can’t fill for whatever reason. Or when the person has existed in canon but was never introduced on screen (as in someone’s parents that we never saw). I am not a fan of OCs because I go to fanfiction for the characters I already know and love. If I wanted completely new characters that I am unfamiliar with, I would turn to original fiction. I was fascinated with the characters I saw on the screen/in the book and I want to know more about them and the relationships between them. I am not interested in what OCs can be made in that world.

Day 9 - Favorite pairings and your comfort zone

- What are your favorite pairings to write in your fandoms? Have you ever gone outside your comfort zone and written a pairing you liked, but found you couldn’t write, or a pairing you didn’t like, and found you could?

I’m just gonna talk about Winx Club because it is my only truly active fandom.

Griffin x Valtor is my OTP. I love them to death and have so many ideas about them.

Now as for pairing that I like but can’t write, I don’t think I have ever encountered such. In this fandom at least. (Maybe in Lucifer Deckerstar is a bit too hard to nail.)

Pairing that I don’t like but can (kinda) write must be Icy x Valtor which I did write on request and that particular concept was actually very fun to work with. I wouldn’t say it has “converted“ me or something, however.

Generally, I stick to what I like. I might try my hand at writing a pairing that I am curious about but I don’t like to waste my time on ships I don’t like.

Day 10 - Writer's block and procrastination

- Have you ever experienced writer's block or an impeded ability to write? How do you tackle a loss of motivation or executive function, and/or how does procrastination hinder (or help) you?

I don’t really think I’ve had writer’s block once I started writing consistently and not once every two months. I have had certain ideas that needed more time to get ready for being written but I never really stopped writing. I have had days when I was too mentally exhausted to write but the solution to that was to just step away for a while and let my brain rest. The problem wasn’t truly in the writing so with some time to recharge my batteries, I was back on track.

I mostly force myself through loss of motivation telling myself that I have too many awesome ideas that I will never be able to write if I don’t just get to it. And I always work on what I am feeling like tackling right now. Even if it isn’t necessarily what I would’ve wanted to work on.

Executive dysfunction can be a bitch. It is hard to get past it and I don’t think I really know how I do it.

Procrastination is probably the hill I will die on because I am too nervous to get to the next one. I don’t really have a tried-and-true solution for it as I am usually aware that I am procrastinating and yet, I can’t stop doing it and make myself be productive. Usually what gets me to drop it and start working is the itch to write and the feeling that I will literally explode if I don’t write. So I think it is that the desire to just write something whatever that may be defeats the fear that it will suck and I finally manage to get to it. I am just too excited about my projects sometimes. XD

#30 days of fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #personal #about me #winx club #ouat

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rnmremix · 4 years

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What is a Remix?

I first heard the term remix somewhere in the wilds of Livejournal back in 2002/2003. It became something fairly common- sometimes synonymous with recursive fanfiction and sometimes not. I’m going to steal pretty hardcore from the wiki fanlore about what a remix is/can be to try and shed some more light on this particular exchange:

A remix is when you re-envision someone's existing fanwork - essentially writing (in this case) your own version of someone else's fic with all your own preferences. It's different from collaborating because the remix does not fall into the "official" continuity of another fan's stories; it's different from being inspired by someone else's [trope] fic and writing your own [trope] fic because the connection between the original and the remix is made explicit, with the remix being built out of the original.

Some people have a very narrow view of what counts as a remix, but ours is considerably broader. If it's related to the original work in such a way that you can see the connection, and the author of the second work calls it a remix, it's a remix.

A remix exchange is when authors sign up to allow other authors comb through their collection of works to find something that inspires them to write their own.

A remix challenge works with very loose standards: In a remix challenge, the mods assign to each writer another participant's body of work to choose from. Each writer selects and rewrites at least one of their assigned participant's stories, with the expectation that another participant will do the same to one of the writer's own stories. Most remix challenges require the plotline of the remix to stay the same as that of the original. The remix challenge may also require that the ending of the original story be preserved; this does not necessarily mean that the remix and the original must end at the same point. We don’t want to put hoops for the writers to jump through outside of their own imaginations. This is about finding inspiration and also giving something back to our fellow writers.

WE ARE NOT “FIXING” OR “IMPROVING” someone else's fic,we are writing a complement to the original, a story that will stand up on its own but will also be interesting to someone who's already read the original. A good remix will give the reader a new way of appreciating the original by filling out the background, giving another character's view of what's happening, or explaining the characters' motivations in a different way.

A remix can take a lot of different forms- the fanlore lists quite a few:

Writers sometimes incorporate dialogue, description, or other details of the original work into their remix story, but it's not necessary. Many remixes keep the same characters, ships and basic plot, especially in remix challenges where there are often rules about what remixers can change.

A discussion on fail_fandomanon produced a list of possible remix techniques, most of them from one post. The list has been reproduced and expanded on below.

POV flip — Retelling the same events from a different character's point of view or switching between first, second, or third person.

Role Reversal — If A was the bank robber and B was the security guard in the original, B is now the bank robber and A is now the security guard.

Sequel/prequel — The remixer explores what led up to the events in the original work, or what may have happened after. (The writer of this list noted that "There's quite a bit of disagreement about whether or not this actually counts as a remix," and suggested that "the best way to resolve it as an issue is to be certain the remix overlaps with at least a couple scenes of the original.")

New spin/tone shift — The same things happen as in the original fic, but they mean something different than they did in the original. For example, a happy time travel fic might be portrayed as tragic by the remixer.

Characterization shift — Similar to the above, but what's changing is the characterization. This "works quite well when you see the characters entirely differently than the person you're remixing."

Genre change — Changing a western into a space opera or changing between slash, het, or gen.

AU to Canon — That modern/space/western AU now happens in the canon era/setting.

Canon to AU — That canon fic is now an AU.

Different place in canon — The same events happen, but they happen at a different point in canon.

Pairing shift — This can have several meanings:

a fic with a main pairing of A/B and a background pairing of C/D may be remixed so that C/D is the main pairing instead. (please be courteous of the original authors ship preferences if choosing this type of remix)

the remix backgrounds the shippy parts in order to focus on the plot (changing a shipfic into a casefic for example) or the other way around.

Pairing change — The events of the fic happen to C/D instead of A/B. This is an unpopular option because challenges tend to disallow it.[2]

Missing Scene — The remixer writes what might have happened in a scene that was not portrayed in the original work.

Expansion/Contracting — The remix expands a 200 word story to 5k or contracts a 20k story down into 1000 words.

For want of a nail — One small detail at the beginning of the story original story is changed, so events spin out differently in the remix.

Mash-up — The remixer takes two or more of someone's fics and combine them.

Changing the ending — Someone dies in the original, they don't in the remix (or vice-versa).

One crucial detail — The remixer pulls out what they consider to be the most important detail of the original fic, then lets everything else go in order to explore that detail.

Scope of events — The remix covers a smaller or larger scope of events than the original. For example, if the original focuses on the events of one day, the remix might cover the entire month that day takes place in, recontextualizing the day the original focused on by showing how it relates to what happened before and after, or it might focus on just one hour of that day.

Trope addition — An extra trope is added by the remixer, for example soulmates or wingfic. This is "similar to genre shift but not quite the same."

Remixers may do several of the above at once, or just one.

Remixing is one of those controversial fandom things, thus the event is considered the author giving permission to another participant to remix their work- permission should be given before attempting a remix. This is considered creating an homage as a thank you, not turning in a marked up work.

Hope this helps answer any questions you all may have!

#information #rnmfanficremix2020

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femsff · 6 years

Note

4, 8, 11, 13, 23, 30, 34, 38 :)

Oooh, awesome! Thanks.

I’ve included already answered ones below.

A Writer’s Ask Game

agwitow:

Send me an ask with the number(s) you’d like me to answer!

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?2. Are you a pantser or plotter?

Started out as a pantser but after a few fic, I decided to give plotting a try. Am now a fully committed plotter.

3. Computer or pen and paper?

Definitely computer. My fingers tend to cramp up even when I write a little bit and when I write a page or so in a notebook (I often carry a notebook with me when I go somewhere but don’t want to drag the laptop with me), about 3/4th of it illegible to anyone who isn’t me. In a way, that’s a good thing I suppose considering some of my smuttier fics, but overall it’s just a pain. And I always get disappointed when I get around to typing out the notes because it looks like a lot more when written out!

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

No, I have never been published. Maybe one day I’ll try my hand at it, but right now I don’t feel like my writing is “good enough” yet. No idea for an original novel either.

5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?6. Single or multiple POV?7. Standalone or series?8. Oldest WIP

Oldest WIP I’ve written for or does plotting also count? If it’s just written, then it’s probably my abandoned Down the Rabbit Hole (FFnet | AO3). I just... got stuck. And it was so incredibly frustrating and really stopped me from enjoying anything fic-related that I finally just said to hell with it and dropped it. I just checked and I stopped working on it in 2013... I still have the outline and everything though, so who knows?

9. Current WIP10. Do you set yourself deadlines?

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

To be honest, I have no idea. I don’t know, maybe I’m rare but I’ve never been one of those people who held specific authors up as their ideal. I used to read a lot of books (nowadays less so, because 1) am adult and have to adult and 2) because I read fanfic and often would rather write my own fic than read a book) and have some favorites (all fiction) but nothing that really stands out.

12. Describe your perfect writing space13. Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Hahaha! Are you sure you want to know?

Okay, so I get an idea. Often when I’m half asleep/dozing, in the shower or just doing something mindlessly. The ideas are usually specific scenes that I can see play out in my head, but occasionally it’s just a conversation/some dialogue. If I like it, I’ll try to force more by really focusing on it. If the muse wishes it, that tends to work. I’m rarely super excited about an idea that I’ll start working on it right away, and prefer to let it roll around for a while. See if it keeps popping up and more details are added. If it’s worth my time and energy, I suppose.

Once that happens, I’ll start writing down notes. I use OneNote to organize my fic ideas/plotting and have one notebook that’s simply for ideas; one section per idea and depending on the idea, it’ll just be a stream of consciousness (often peppered with questions for myself) or a bit more organized in different pages. Again, depending on how excited I am about the idea, this can be done in a day or it can take weeks/months where I’ll occasionally add some info.

Then, when I feel like I want to work on it some more, I’ll start to delve into the details. When is it set? What’s the beginning, middle and end? Which events do I want include but have no idea where yet? Is there specific dialogue or are there actions I want to maybe include at one point? If it’s an AU, AR or AT, I’ll start working on the differences from canon (who is in it, what’s their role, how does it deviate from canon). How long do I think this fic will be? I need to set a max number of chapters for myself, otherwise the story will just keep growing and I’ll keep adding stuff and in the end it’ll read like I just came up with more and more stuff simply so I wouldn’t have to end the story, rather than telling the story I wanted to tell in the beginning.

Anyway, I start creating pages for the chapters and fill in the few things I already know. At this point I often also involve my beta and discuss the fic idea with her. Everything from that conversation goes into the ‘brainstorm’ section and I’ll work on the questions and suggestions that arose during the conversation. Then, I’ll start focusing on filling up the chapters with general outlines. That can be anything from “scene 1 Sam telling Jack (Sam pov); scene 2 introspection about changes (Jack pov)” to a paragraphed summary or even a scene completely written out. Sometimes it’s just “some shippy stuff here”, to let me know that at one point I need to lighten it up or bring them closer together. I go over all the chapter pages that way, but don’t necessarily fill them all out. I also make one page with a chapter overview, which is usually the numbered chapters with one or two lines about the content so I can see in one quick glance which things need working on.

More thinking on the fic idea, sometimes even when sleeping and brainstorming with the beta usually follows, which in turn results in adding more details. The chapter pages get more specifics or maybe a “don’t forget to mention [character]” or “now [# weeks] pregnant, mention that/include symptoms”. Also, depending on the story idea, I might need to do research. That can be canon/fanon stuff, but also scientific stuff, maybe a different language, create background information for original/rarely used canonical characters, timeline, locations, RL world events, and so on. That also gets included in the notebook and, at some point, added to the relevant chapter.

Once my outlining is done and I feel comfortable to start writing, I tend to just create a master document and start writing. Now, that’s not to say my whole outline is complete or that it’s something I must strictly adhere to. Additions and changes are made all the time, sometimes I’ll get stuck or realize a scene doesn’t work the way I envisioned it or the beta tells me something is missing. So, I go back to the notes and work on it. Then I go back to the fic and write, write, write.

Oh and I usually ask the beta to go over a chapter once I’ve finished writing it (or, if I’m stuck in a scene, I’ll ask her to look at it right away) and then I’ll go over the feedback, make changes, possibly discuss some of the things she mentioned, do some more editing and then I’ll go to the next chapter and write some more.

14. How do you deal with self-doubts?15. How do you deal with writer’s block?16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Hmm. I’m not sure? I do know that when I’m stuck I tend to make a fruit salad or get snacks out in the hopes of it resulting in the required brainpower to keep going.

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?19. How do you keep yourself motivated?20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?23. Favourite author

I don’t think I really have a favorite author... I don’t like non-fiction, I always read fiction and often thrillers. Some of the books I always order and often reread are ones by Jilliane Hoffman and Ingrid Black.

As for fic, see my favorites/bookmarks on my profile on FFnet/AO3.

24. Favourite genre to write and read25. Favourite part of writing

Ooh, difficult to choose. I really love doing the research and plotting, but I think the best part of writing is ending up with the story you imagined before you even ‘put pen to to paper’. Also, managing to convey the emotions through the writing - like when a reader comments with how they also teared up, they had to stop reading a few times to catch their breath/get a grip on their emotions or were just overwhelmed by it all. That’s pretty neat.

26. Favourite writing program27. Favourite line/scene28. Favourite side character29. Favourite villain30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I have quite a few fic ideas I haven’t started writing yet. Not sure I can choose one. But one that I’ve had for a long time, like ~6 years, and even started writing on (but then discarded that because it wasn’t a good opening) is for Woman In Blue. It’s a first-person fic, a style I actually kinda hate and would probably back-button right away if I saw one of my favorite authors use in a new fic... anyway, it’s Mark Carter in first person, writing about Sam (and to a smaller extent, Jack) and all the things he learned about her life after her death - she and Jack died in a blaze of glory, defending Earth against a Replicator attack that also prompted Disclosure.

The Dark31. Least favourite part of writing32. Most difficult character to write33. Have you ever killed a main character?34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

There are so many scenes I’ve struggled with, most recently in Unmade Plans (chapter 8 specifically, that one really was a fight and I’ve rewritten it probably a dozen times) but the hardest was probably the Sam/Klorel scene in Only the Stubborn Survive. Those of you who’ve read the fic will know which scene I mean.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote37. First sentence or your current WIP38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

I’m not quite sure. A lot of them start out as weird ideas! The end result as you see them are soooo different. Maybe Consequences of Being Touched, because there were quite a few risque scenes in there?

39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had40. Share some backstory for one of your characters

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?42. How do you feel about love triangles?43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

It depends on the situation and the outline. I’ve thrown outlines out of the window at times because something else turned out to work much better once you actually reach that point in your story, but I’ve also rewritten a scene a dozen times before I got it exactly the way I wanted it in the outline.

44. How much research do you do?45. How much world building do you do?46. Do you reread your own stories?47. Best way to procrastinate48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?50. [Other question—ask me anything]

Well, those were fun but also tricky! Guess I shouldn’t have skimmed the list before rb’ing, haha. No just kidding, I loved answering them. Thanks!

#writer's ask game #writing #fanfiction #me #rl #thank you for playing #london88blog

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moreracquetball · 6 years

Note

Okay so I’m going to start writing a falsettos fic (it’s going to be my first fic!) and bc you are like the best writer ever (!!!) I was wondering if you had any tips? Like not only on writing in general but writing the falsettos characters? Thank u 💞💞

That sounds so exciting! Good luck!

Write the good and the bad. This is perhaps the most important piece of advice that I can give you. Too many times, characters are divided into two categories: the devil and the saint. The devil makes every mistake in the book, doesn’t learn any sort of lesson, and is the main and only instigator for the conflict. By contrast, the saint is innocent, forever forgiving the devil with all of their virtue and grace and never once contributing to the rising conflict. The saint is good and the devil is bad, and that makes their pairing so romantic, right? Wrong. If you want realistic characters, none of them can be devils and none of them can be saints. Every character must make mistakes, must be irrational at times, must have selfish moments. And every character must make good choices, must be kind-hearted at times, must have redeeming moments. Let your characters make mistakes but don’t let those mistakes define them. We live in a world of gray and your characters must reflect that. Also, every relationship is a world of gray - there are bad moments, and you should reflect that, and there are good moments, which should be reflected as well. In conclusion, your story should be fifty shades of gray (oh wait)

S u b t e x t. Now, this sounds like a cringey joke, right? All fandoms squabble over a glance or an ambiguous phrasing, but that’s not the kind of subtext I’m talking about. I’m talking about the good ole Show don’t tell trick. For highly complex characters, they might not always be aware and honest about how they feel or what they want. Their actions and thoughts dictate these sorts of things but as a writer, you should never spell it out so clearly. Don’t write “Whizzer is hurt and angry that Marvin is still with Trina.” Instead, let these emotions color his actions: barbed innuendos thrown at the couple, being uncomfortable when Marvin and Trina interact, thinking cruel thoughts that the reader will recognize as petty and shallow. Show how hurt and angry he is. It’s always a gem for the reader to know something that the character doesn’t.

Clearly define the characters’ wants and needs; also, show how these two things might come into conflict with one another. The reader should always be aware of what a character wants and needs. For example, what does Whizzer want? Marvin. What does Whizzer need? Independence and individualism. These things don’t necessarily need to conflict with one another but it makes great fiction when they do. Here’s another example: what does Mendel want? Trina to be his wife. What does Marvin want? Trina to only care for and depend on Marvin. These two wants conflict with one another, creating tension between Mendel and Marvin. When combining these two conflicts (a character’s want v need; and a character’s want/need v another character’s want/need), you can create a twofront conflict that enriches your plot and deepens the suspense and drama.

Let your characters change. Your main character should not be the exact same person at the end of the story as they were in the beginning. It shows no growth, making the story seem pointless. Your character should be changing constantly - their needs/wants could be changing, or their relationships could be changing, or their priorities could be changing. There should always be an evolution. This is true for all your characters but at least make it pronounced in your main ones. This helps your reader become more connected with both the plot and the character as they become invested in the developments.

Stay true to characterization. This is the worst problem that esp fanfic writers must tackle: how do I make my characters/story stand out among all the others without changing core elements? Well, my tip is change the circumstances without changing the character. When making plot points, ask yourself: how would Marvin react to being a celebrity? What would change about how he carries himself? What would stay the same? Think of how this character would change if circumstances were different: would he be more confident? Would he be more scared of being his true self? How would these new experiences color his relationships with others? With himself? Above all though, despite these changes, your character must stay recognizable. Their core personality traits stay the same, their insecurities more or less are still present, their relationships shouldn’t vary so much from canon. It’s a delicate balance, so godspeed.

A relationship requires cut scenes. At first glance, these scenes seem like filler. Trust me, they’re not. They are so paramount to how much your reader will care about this relationship. You should show your characters getting closer, making inside jokes, making each other laughing, giving each other butterflies, sharing secret moments. You need to show the happy moments to make your reader care about them, to make the non-happy moments cut even deeper.

Don’t erase their identities. In the case of Falsettos, don’t erase their Jewish culture and heritage. I myself have trouble with this one - not because I’m intentionally erasing their culture no, no, no. Rather, their heritage is an afterthought to the story I want to tell. That’s a horrible, horrible excuse, and it does not justify not better representing such a key element to this musical. Have their jewish culture more pronounced, okay? It doesn’t have to be apart of the plot, per se. It could be represented in the meals they’re eating, the vernacular they use, the topics of conversation they discuss. Just make their Jewish culture visible.

These are the pillars for good fanfic writing. I hope it all goes well for you!!

#also im always open if anyone has writing questions yes yes yes #i love talking about this kind of stuff #and by all means - if anyone has more reblog this and add some #falsettos #falsettos fanfic #writing advice

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marvelidiot · 7 years

Text

Romanogers Fic Recommends

!!UPDATED!! 07/14/20

can also be found here: marvelidiot.tumblr.com/Romaongersfics

Hey there! I made this because I want to share these awesome gems and gifted writers. Stay awesome and will always be happy reading your works! :)

Thank you @miss_LulaMae on twitter for her recommendations as well!

If you have more recommendations to add, feel free to message me on twitter @marvelidiot

COMPLETE MULTI-CHAPTERS

Calm Before The Storm by i-am-the-fandoms (31/31) Natasha Romanoff is changing and it’s because of Steve Rogers. Was she falling in love or it is only for children. And what does Steve think? Falling in love has never been crazier. Set after AoU

Natasha’s Diary by MarthaDanielle (9/9) Captain America isn’t afraid of anyone. Except Natasha, with reason. All the Avengers have a respect for her out of fear. What happens when Steve stumbles upon something he wasn’t supposed to?

See You in a Minute by Loquatorious (4/4) What if Scott had been delayed just five more minutes before driving to the Avengers Compound? What if Steve and Natasha had a little bit more time to talk? What if the Soldier and the Spy discovered more to their relationship, just in time to see it end? A canon-divergent what-if? story based on the events of Avengers Endgame.

Dust to Dust (We've Been Lonely Too Long) by myloveiamthespeedofsound (10/10) A series of connected one shots in which Natasha and Steve see how long they can maintain that they're just friends who happen to sleep together before they realize they're complete morons and might be a little bit in love with each other.

Fairy Tale Life by miko (9/9) Faced with a choice between sending Natasha into a dangerous situation alone, or posing as her newly-wed husband, Steve knows there's only one thing he can do. Even if it means faking some things he never thought he'd do with anyone but his real best girl. Even if it means crossing a line he shouldn't be crossing when it comes to his feelings for Natasha. Problem is, there's one more little detail about this mission Natasha 'forgot' to mention... and it might just change both their lives forever.

I'm Dying to Catch My Breath by chalantness (3/3) She remembers sitting with him like this a year ago, in another guest bedroom, and no, she doesn't believe in fate. But she doesn't believe in coincidences, either.

IN-PROGRESS MULTI-CHAPTERS

Muscle Memory by heyfrenchfreudiana Steve and Natasha are fake married for an undercover mission that goes wrong. When both wake up, any memories of who they are or what they were doing have been erased. The only thing that they do know is that they are both wearing wedding rings.If we both have amnesia, and all we have are our feelings, could we start a life together? If we don’t have to run away to forget the world, could we have a piece of happiness just the two of us?

The Domestic Life of Mr. and Mrs. Rogers by Spanglecap Being an Avenger is pretty incredible. Being in love through it all? Even more so. These are snapshots of Steve and Natasha as they build a life and a family together and fall more and more for each other every day.

Training Montage by liquidCaliban Steve wants to try a little new age management where the Avengers have to spend a day training like their teammates. Natasha is already over that noise, but she’s got something up her sleeve of death.

Can’t Pretend by ultrona Steve and Nat start their history during “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”.

ONE-SHOTS

Alone (I’m here for you) by qwertyuiopkjhgfdssazxcvbnm Post Civil War. “And I can guess how much she means to you.” Bucky has a talk with Steve on the quinjet as they leave for Siberia about a certain red head. "She… I… I care about her.“

Sam Assumed by LiquidCaliban Sam makes his first visit to Avengers’ Tower, where he discovers that things are not always as they seem, but only before he realized they weren’t. Seemingly. And Tony will never learn to knock.

Amnesiac by LiquidCaliban Steve wakes up one morning with no memory of the past eight years, which is awkward because he has a wife and son. Fortunately, he has the Avengers to get him through some Asgardian-induced amnesia.

Only An Eclipse Away by Asoreleks Two people drift into each other’s lives once again on a quiet afternoon in Brooklyn, New York, light years and a lifetime away from a place called Vormir.

NC-17 ONE-SHOTS

Benefits by 401 (1/1) (NC-17) Steve and Natasha are just friends. Most of the time.

AUs - No superpowers, No super-secret boyband Avengers team (just them as normal humans/ Nat and Steve are OOC on some) (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)

ONE SHOTS

Runaways by bornatexasgirl (1/1) Steve’s a dreamer, a drifter, never staying in one place for too long. Natalia’s a small town good girl, who wants nothing more to escape the life she has, where everything is planned and nothing is her own. He thinks she’s crazy for wanting a guy like him. She thinks he needs her. Turns out, they’re both right.

(NC-17) One Shots

I’m On Fire by myloveiamthespeedofthesound (1/1) (NC-17) Steve is a photographer, Natasha is his subject for the day. He’s got a big boy crush, and maybe she might like him a little bit too, but Steve’s an idiot and the likelihood of him figuring that one out is about as likely as pigs flying.

After the Encore by beezyland (1/1) (NC-17) Guitar strings aren’t all he’s stroking.

COMPLETE MULTI-CHAPTERS (Worth the read. I swear!)

Invocation by mylifeisloki (9/9) Steve Rogers is just trying to cope with life after the army. The last thing he expects is to find salvation in the arms of a beautiful stranger he meets at a cafe.

Making Use of The Weekend by Phoebe_Snow (7/7) AU. Natasha gets more than she bargains for when a cute little dog named Bucky ruins her tomato garden and his handsome owner, Steve, walks into her life.

It Could Happen To You by Phoebe_Snow (4/4) Natasha keeps running into Steve at the most embarrassing times. It’s really a shame because he seems like a sweet guy, but he must think she’s a total moron after all of the awkward and inappropriate moments they’ve shared.

Stay by thegraytigress (23/23) On the surface, he’s a disabled war vet and she’s his new neighbor. On the surface, they’re both okay, surviving, working, living. But beneath his apathy, he’s broken, bleeding, and drowning in his pain and loneliness. Underneath her smiles, she’s lost, terrified, and trying to find a new start. Maybe it’s fate that she moves in and he finds her. And maybe falling in love is their chance to heal.

Just A Blast From The Past by InNeedOfInspirationn(13/13) Natasha watches Steve die and decides to use a time travel device from Asgard to go back in 1942 and prevent Bucky from turning into the Winter Soldier. Forbidden to meddle with the past because it could affect the future, she changes her appearance and introduces herself under a false identity. But as they grow close, Natasha finds it harder and harder to resist the charm of Steve from 1942.

A Hundred Worlds by InitialA (23/23) And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”

At First Glance by mocking words (3/3) ‘our flats are opposite each other and your kitchen window faces my kitchen so we always see each other making coffee at 3am’ AU?

We Never Go Out of Style by mylifeisloki (8/8) Inspired by ‘Style’, by Taylor Swift. Steve is a bad boy who can’t be tied down, but Natasha’s not like anyone he’s ever seen before. Together, they go through life, love, and loss- not necessarily in that order.

Two Halves of a Soul by xo_stardust720 It was strange how quickly his world had changed in a span of a few hours. He’d gone from sleeping peacefully in bed, to fighting a fire, to finding his soulmate.

Pot Meet Kettle (7/7) by heyfrenchfreudiana When Natasha Romanoff asked Steve Rogers for help in Statistics, he almost said ‘no’. He thought about all of the things he would rather do and he how he would honestly rather have gone to the dentist than “help” a girl who he figured was about as deep as the puddles outside his dorm room after a rain.

Love, Nat by joelleeee (5/5) Nastasha and Steve grew up together and have been best friends ever since. They are inseparable, but since their last year of high school, their friendship begins to diverge. But the fact that both of them are going away for college leaves so much room for the unknown and unpredictable future that their surfacing feelings are making it even more difficult. They continue to journey through their lives separately and together; however, somehow their lives and feelings keep intertwining themselves together inevitably.

Meet me Halfway by choi_kimmy (5/5) “Steve got himself a potential pen-pal from the future.” Bucky offers an explanation, his tone a mock exaggeration. Steve darts another glare at his best friend who is clearly having too much fun teasing him. In other words; Natasha quits her job, moves back into the city and suddenly she is communicating through a magical mailbox that clearly transcends time with a guy named Steve who claims to be living two years in the past. Can the new year get any weirder?

For Whose Love I Rise and Fall by Yeetmeaway (27/27) In 1943 Hydra unleashes a deadly virus in its quest to create a new world order-- one that turns its hosts into vampire-like creatures. 75 years later, humanity is on the brink of extinction, protected only by the hunters of SHIELD. Natasha has already lost so much to this-- they are fighting a losing battle and everyone can feel it. But, for the first time in years SHIELD has hope, the possibility of a cure. What else will she give to bring an end to this nightmare?

The Empty Space Next to Me by InNeedOfInspiration (THE FEELS ON THIS ONE) (16/16) Steve goes to Vormir to bring Natasha back and fails. But when Natasha reappears months later on the radar, Steve has an unexpected second chance. Little does he know that —nor understands how— Natasha has become a hostess in a guesthouse in Louisiana. Can he find Natasha again?

And It’s Coming For You and Me by chalantness (4/4) She’s used to the little puppy just running around, and he’s harmless and totally cute, so it’s fine. The little girl that’s giggling and running up the sidewalk after him is even cuter. And the girl’s father? Well, perhaps the word cute isn’t enough to describe him. But it’s a start.

COMPLETE NC-17 Multi-Chapters

The Nature of a Flower by mylifeisloki (22/22) (NC-17) The king has decided that Prince Steve is to take a wife. The young Princess Natasha of a far off land comes to his kingdom for their wedding. As they get to know one another, they realize that propriety and what is expected might not always be the best thing to do. Once they come to that realization, they might just leave themselves open to real love.

Sea Glass by heyfrenchfreudiana (23/23) (NC-17) So if we imagine that Steve/Natasha would happen in one way or another (alternate universe), suppose they meet cute outside their therapist’s office (who so happens to be Bruce).

Bullet Holes and Thunder Clouds by Jodygoroar (4/4) (NC-17) Steve Rogers is a NYC firefighter captain who got injured on the job now he has to go to physical therapy, turns out his therapist is Natasha Romanoff. Soulmate mark AU, this is going to be smutty. Many other Marvel characters are mentioned. Blame it all on a single Soviet bullet.

The Boss’ Daughter by mylifeisloki (33/33) (NC-17) Natasha is the young heiress to Tony Stark’s fortune, but she’s been kept on a tight leash for most of her youth. Now, when she’s about to come out into the public eye, might not be the best time for a handsome stranger to show up. Poor Steve doesn’t even see it coming.

Always the Bridesmaid by mylifeisloki (8/8) (NC-17) Attending Pepper’s wedding as the maid of honor is something of a terrible privilege. Natasha’s biding her time until it’s over- that is, until she catches sight of a handsome groomsman. All of a sudden, there might just be something at the reception that Natasha isn’t at all prepared for.

IN-PROGRESS MULTI-CHAPTERS (a.k.a desperately needs to be updated)

Steve’s Anatomy by mylifeisloki Successful cardiac surgeon Natasha finds herself at odds with a sweet nurse in the maternity ward who has managed to charm nurses and mothers alike. As time goes on, she tries to find a flaw and comes up empty– but can Steve really be as wholesome and perfect as he seems? And more importantly, is it possible that Nurse Charming is actually the perfect match for someone as emotionally challenged as Natasha happens to be?

Help Wanted by HerMajestyEffy In other words Natasha is a kidnap victim and the only person she managed to dial for help is Steve,a complete stranger.

Crossfire by mocking_words Romanogers AU where Natasha works for Bucky before Steve steps into the picture

Time After Time by beezyland A collection of AU oneshots I’d like to turn into full-length stories, but never will.

I’m Sitting on Top of the World by AnastasiaPhoenixRose12 Welcome to Los Angeles 1926, the peak of the Roaring Twenties! Wealthy adopted brothers, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers, return home to the Stark Manor after graduating from boarding school. They, and their hoard of friends, have three months of absolute freedom before beginning their freshmen year of college. In an era dominated by the Jazz Age, Prohibition, flappers, speakeasies, automobiles, cinema, radio, gangster crime, and sexual liberation, it only gets better for Bucky and Steve when they entangle themselves in illicit affairs with the two newest foreign housemaids: Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff.

Two Hearts Set on Fire by xo_stardust720 In a world where the first words your soulmate says to you are tattooed on your skin, Natasha has spent her entire life wondering where her other half was.She never thought her soulmate would turn out to be the homeless man that she saw every morning at the train station on her way to school. But love was unpredictable like that, she supposed.

6 AM Sharp by CaptainArwenPond221B Natasha Romanoff works at her friend Clint’s coffee shop, where he offered her a fresh start a few years back. She doesn’t want to trust her heart to anyone, not anymore, so when a scrawny little guy comes in asking for black coffee with a perfect smile on his face, she’s determined not to let herself love him. Steve Rogers is a poor artist with a shitty job at SHIELD Design Co. who might have a crush on the red-headed barista who talks to him every morning before work… But nobody cares about somebody like him, so he decides never to let himself love her.. And if we’re honest, Bucky and Clint just like messing with their best friends. A lot.

Simplicity Meets Complexity by Ayooheather They came from two completely different worlds but they were always friends. Things were simple... why did they have to go and fuck that up

The Last of us by LogicalHeart The Avengers are now divided as Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Wanda are on the run. As time goes by, Steve and Natasha have gotten closer and have committed themselves to each other in a way neither of them can explain. Little do they know, that everything is about to change for the worse.

IN-PROGRESS NC-17 MULTI-CHAPTERS

Oops! by NatRomanoff_34 (NC-17) AU where Nat wants to have something Barton has..

Torched by Phoebe_Snow (NC-17) When a terrible fire destroys Natasha’s apartment, she’s left with nowhere to go. That is, until Steve, her handsome landlord, lets her move in with him until she can get her feet back up under her.

Bound & Restricted by oceanicspirit (NC-17) They were lovers of two families hated one another. She was the daughter of the leader of the Russian Mafia, and he was the son of the leader of the Irish Mafia. Will their story end the same like the two famous star crossed lovers - Romeo and Juliet.

Hate doesn’t even describe it by elcapitan_rogers (NC-17) Steve hated Natasha. Natasha hated Steve. Everything was fine until their parents decided to fuck shit up for them…

Our Time in the Dark by LeoTheAvengingLioness333 (NC-17) When Steve first met Natasha he certainly hadn’t expected her to join the team. He had been on a mission. And she had tried to kill him. But he’s always been one to give people a second chance, tried to see the best in them even when they couldn’t. And somewhere along those lines, they went from begrudged teammates to friends and finally-with the realization hitting him like a brick-to something completely and wonderfully more. Getting frozen for almost 70 years complicates things a little though. And what’s more complicated is waking up and finding out that the girl he loved in the 40s is just as alive as he is.

#romanogers #fanfic #romanogers fanfic #ao3 #stevenat #natsteve #evansson #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #fanfiction #recommends #nat xsteve #steve x nat

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