i will say something controversial… ik this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but i am saying this w a lot of love.

i am a bit worry about lisa’s career path and how much of an influence the arnault family is having on her choices lately. first, i think we need to accept that she’s involved w frederic romantically and has been for a while. they didn’t want to confirm it just like yg never confirmed taennie but it’s the truth. and she’s not trying to hide her vacations with his family. the private dates. or that lisa’s security team right now are frederic’s personal security team.

i also don’t want to talk about how problematic the arnault family is. not billionaire family with generational wealth got that money for being good. they have been in the news for their support for isr*el’s cyber security.

but this is about lisa…

it’s not a secret to the fandom that she’s been living in france for a while. she’s managing her time between thailand, paris and at times sk to see her cats. her main residence has been in paris for like a year now and we know it’s cuz of frederic. at first, it was okay to me. and seeing the evidence is clear that she met him because of celine and developed a relationship with him from there that’s been there for over a year.

now that the pinks only have a group contract with yg and have freedom with their solo career. i wonder what is lisa’s career plan and why does it seem to be limited only to france? is this not a weird career move considering her base is asia?

the crazy horse performance i don’t think it was a smart business decision. at least not this soon as her first introduction to her solo era. but i respect her decision. now her concert for that charity event being also in paris and not doubt the arnault’s will be there. just like frederic was there when bp had that meeting in paris with the president. and just like they were the main sponsors for that award lisa won recently.

it just seems lately that the arnaults/paris are behind every solo decision lisa makes for her career and i don’t know if i like that dependency.

so far i think jennie has been really smart w the image she wants to build as a soloist. i know jisoo is focusing on acting and rose will probably have a western collab w someone soon. but lisa’s career path is still a mystery to me.

okay this is a lot of points! so for starters i don’t think we can make judgements about the direction of her future career as of now, cause the girls have left yg literally less than a month ago so to me it’s totally understandable if they need some time to figure things (i think jennie started planning oddatelier many months ago but the pinks are different people so!). we especially cannot know where she’ll base her career bcs yes she pretty much lives in france but she has a private plane that can take her whenever she needs to be, so travelling for work would definitely not be an issue

however! i will say that out of all the pinks, she’s the one i’m most unsure about regarding her future career. because umg seems like a very obvious choice, but they’re most of a western company and she still has a HUGE fanbase in asia. starting her own company with umg as distributor would make the most sense, but i truly don’t know if i see that ngl 😕 i’m sure she’ll find her way but out of all the girls she’s the biggest question mark for me

as for her bf and his family, i honestly don’t know enough about the arnaults to say anything. i mean i do think he’s ugly (😭) and i don’t have the highest opinions of rich socialites like that, but if he treats her well then i think she should be happy. i do also share your views of that family bcs even though i don’t know that much, i am sure they didn’t become THAT wealthy by being nice and fair, but she is not that family

Not that I am advocating people to get injured or anything but I genuinely think getting hurt by an animal when you’ve provoked them is such a valuable lesson and makes you a better person

The police have been desperate to build a narrative of valiant officers defending Bristol from dangerous thugs, but the truth is very different, and they have started to trip over their own lies.

In our report of Bristol's first #KillTheBill protest we spoke about how the police lie in order to build a false narrative. We described how the corporate media facilitates this by printing their lies as undisputed fact, and how the police's cheerleaders both professional and amateur will take these lies and run with them. The past week has proven us right. Here is a run down of just a some of the lies police and their supporters have been caught out on.

7. Protesters Attacked The Cars Of Bystanders & Other Emergency Workers This was an early quote put out to portray the protesters as hell bent on mindless destruction. Reports were that vehicles that had nothing to do with the police, and were just unfortunate enough to be in a neighbouring multi-storey car park had their windscreens smashed. In later media coverage the police admitted these were unmarked police cars, the video footage shows that this was made clear by the ‘reserved for police use’ parking bays.

6. My Poor Bones! Following a police statement this story was repeated everywhere. The police said, as if a confirmed fact, that one officer had a broken arm, and another a punctured lung. Other people would elaborate further, the punctured lung was due to a police officer being knocked to the ground and repeatedly stamped on was a common story. Can you imagine who could possibly attack someone already on the ground like that? Suspicious at the number of alleged ‘injuries’ the police had suffered, activists submitted a Freedom of Information request for details on them. Shortly after this Avon & Somerset Police quietly retracted the claim, and confirming no bones were broken or lungs punctured. It was only after a lot of noise on social media, and articles in the radical press, that some mainstream outlets reported this change in story. Many original articles quoting it as fact remain online and unchanged.

5. Protesters Are Responsible For Hurting Horses And Dogs If someone told me there was a riot, and I said ‘ok, I’ll bring my dog’, and then I took my dog to a riot; I would be rightly accused of animal abuse. Yet for some reason the police expect a free pass. Let’s get one thing straight, the police don’t bring animals to protests because they love and value them. They bring them because they view them as weapons and want to use them to hurt people. At all three protests this week, police repeatedly deployed dogs and horses for hours, without caring about the risks. Luckily they also reported none were hurt. The most violence we saw towards the dogs was officers dragging them by the collar to keep them away from dropped food. Yes animals are spooked by fireworks, but better spooked and taken away than kept on the front lines as a risk to themselves and others.

4. The Protesters Struck First! An important part of any narrative, as any Star Wars fan will tell you, is who struck first. This is because few people would randomly hit someone in the street, but many of us would hit back in self defence. Early police statements in the press on Sunday night said that officers had ‘stood back’ until a police van was set on fire. These were clearly fabrications right from the start. There was footage of the police using batons to strike protesters whilst it was still day light, where as the burning van was pictured after dusk. In even clearer evidence there was footage of police hitting protesters next to the van that would later be burned, while it was very much not on fire.

3. They Made Us Do It In an echo of the language of abusers the world over, the cops insisted that they were ‘forced’ to violently attack the protest. According to them nothing else would work, as the crowd was so volatile, dangerous and aggressive. Even if the police had ‘started it’ (which they would never admit) they insisted it only escalated due to protesters. Were that true then, the expectation would be that a crowd that remained passive and peaceful would have been treated with a far lighter touch. Tuesday proved this to be yet another lie. Hours of people being hit by batons , horse charges, dog attacks, and people dragged by their hair. All whilst the most violent resistance put up was the laying of daffodils.

2. If You Don’t Do Anything Wrong, You Have Nothing To Fear A statement older than policing itself. The people who are attacked are, if not ‘yobs’ or ‘thugs’ at the very least ‘trouble makers’ and ‘criminals’. No Law abiding citizen need fear police violence. Well unless they decide something currently legal, such as protest, is a crime. So, then the police used violence on law abiding citizens. In chilling scenes on Tuesday they assaulted two journalists from The Cable, despite them showing press passes. They then detained the editor of Bristol 24/7, only releasing him thanks to the support of a near by photo journalist. On Friday they attacked a reporter from The Mirror, and ‘confronted’ a photographer. A short time after they arrested a ‘citizen journalist’ who had been streaming the protest on YouTube, first coaxing him over for a chat before grabbing him. They didn’t stop at journalists either, they attacked medics and the people they were treating, forcing them to relocate repeatedly.

1. I’m A Postman Yes, you read that right. We’ll let the victim of this particular incident speak for themselves by quoting from their social media post, which we have independent confirmation of. “This morning… I got out under arrest and handcuffed by 5 undercover police who barged into the house no masks initially claiming to my flatmate I needed to sign for a parcel (dressed as a postman) but followed her up yo my room. They told me I had been disorderly / violent which I knew I hadn’t. I was partially undressed and they were all big men and they wouldn’t let me call anyone and told my housemate to go to her room whole I was having actual panic attack and shrieking. They told me I was going to be out in a cell at keynsham police station but they needed to get a female officer over to help me dress first. I was clearly so distressed and confused BC I wasn’t even where they had placed me. Eventually they brought up a photo of a girl who clearly wasn’t me and then eventually dropped the arrest and left me but its so incompetent they could mistake me for this girl and actually get a warrant for my arrest when they can’t even catch real criminals My mental health has been pretty shit lately, especially anxiety so now this has happened and the police are responsible through treating me like a criminal and giving me no respect when I wasn’t even the person in their photo.So no I don’t have faith in the police or British justice system“

These are just the most easily provable lies that the police have told. There are many more, nearly everything they say has been an attempt to deceive. We hope both readers and writers, of the news will continue to remember that the police are not trustworthy sources.

As one commentator on twitter put it, Police statements are a lot less mystifying when you read them as what they are – propaganda by violent agents of the state.

talk to me more about your tag saying something is up w Casey more than just Brett. bc I’ve got Casey as 100% having ptsd and probably depression/anxiety symptoms for like his entire life and I would love for his reaction to the whole sylvie situation not be him just being dumb but maybe having some sort of trauma/depression episode. And I honestly think that would be more in character of him than just fully not having the emotional intelligence to “fight” for sylvie. We’ve seen him outline what he wants in a relationship several times both to Gabby and Hallie and those relationships had their issues but I don’t think you can point to either of them and say Matt had it easy, that he didn’t have to chase or make a move. And to the note of trauma and relationships I think there’s plenty to unpack about dawsey that maybe borders the realm of more than just toxic but even if you don’t go there I think it’s pretty easy to see Matt’s reaction to sylvie bringing up gabby so suddenly as much more than having residual feelings. —literally don’t even bother reading that it just felt to get out lmao

Im kidding 😂 i got time and i have yet to write a Casey essay, so this is long over due, and i'll probably go off on some unrelated tangents.

First and foremost i'll explain what i meant by "there's more up with Matt than just whats going on with Brett." For the most part I can't really put my finger on it. I said this to my wife earlier: it's like the writers are dropping bread crumbs that something's wrong and I'm picking up on them dropping the crumbs but i can't find or place the actual crumbs? And i think that him having depression/anxiety/ptsd isn't really a stretch to say. He definitely has a very down feeling to him and he just seems off to me. He seems like he's feeling old and tired? When he was talking to Gallo at the end of last night's episode he just seemed heavy? Like the way he was talking and acting just made me feel heavy. I think maybe the job is starting to weigh on him more, and i think what Gallo did reminded him of or brought those feelings to the surface. He's lost three firefighters under his command, four if you count Jimmy. Losing any firefighter is detrimental hit, but when they're under your command and you're responsible for them it's that much worse. I think those losses (Andy, What's her name (that one girl candidate who's name i cant remember to save my life), Jimmy (in a way), and Otis) are really weighing on him and Gallo doing what he did made it worse because he's scared Gallo is going to get added to the list. That may be the root of the off feeling i got from him, but it seems like there's more. Idk. It's really hard to explain.

I think what Matt is doing with Brett i think both makes sense for him as a character and i think him giving her space isn't him being emotionally stunted or even being an idiot. I think it's respectful and the right thing to do. Sometimes when people say they need space THEY NEED SPACE and NOT for the person they want space from to keep pressuring them into being together!!! Like yes Matt needs to tell her how he feels, but i don't think he needs to do it right now. They both need to get their ducks in a row before they can be together and be together successfully. And think him not chasing down what he wants and not disregarding the needs and wants that Brett expressed to him actually shows a good bit of emotional maturity and I will die on that hill! The way he's handling himself over it probably isn't the best or healthiest, but the over all decision not to put pressure on Brett and quote not from you "go get his woman" is right.

I honestly find it refreshing. So many times in shows we get the guy who has been turned down being all like "oh, she doesn't know what she wants. But i know what she wants (it's me) so i'm gonna go get her!" So it's nice that we have him respecting what she wants and not trying to push that what he wants is also what's best for her. I'm beating this dead horse to death and i'm sorry but you gave me the perfect opportunity to word vomit all my pent up Matt feelings

On to the next point about this being very in tune with Matt's character. For a long time Matt has thrown himself into things and really shot for what he wanted and it hasn't really worked out for him. Hallie for example: they broke up because she didn't want kids. They got back together then Matt pushed for kids again and they broke up again. Then they got back together and he probably would've ended up pushing for kids again if she hadn't gotten killed. Now the same thing didn't happen with Gabby. And honestly i'm not really gonna go into that one because i don't feel like dealing with a bunch of angry Dawsey shippers, but i'll say this much: that relationship also ended with a lot of heart break for Matt. Like the guy has just had a really stinkin shitty time with serious relationships, and i honestly think it has him just a little bit traumatized. AND CAN WE REALLY BLAME HIM??? It is literally human nature like deep primal instinct to avoid things that hurt us. The stove is hot. You touch the hot stove. The hot stove burns you. You go YIKES! that hurt! Im not gonna touch the hot stove again! I think a similar thing has kind of happened with Matt. He's been hurt by all of his major relationships, and hurt pretty dang bad at that. For him serious relationships have become like a hot stove, and his answer to Brett's question about Gabby was him metaphorically avoiding touching the hot stove. He did a bit of self sabotage because he didn't want to get hurt again and you know fucking what? That's fucking understandable! And okay! Like fucking me too buddy!

Now ironically and honestly sadly he still ended up hurting himself in the process of trying to avoid opening himself up to potential hurt. We know he wants love and family, and it's what he deserves but he's had such a shitty time trying to get that, that i think its going to take a lot of time for him to open himself back up to trying. He also knows that if he were to start something with Sylvie it wouldn't be a fling. They have such a deep personal friendship that there's no way it could be. And he doesn't want it to be either and he doesn't want to be hurt again. So he's taking his time- he was buying himself time with that line about Gabby.

Looping back to the "Matt did the right thing in giving Sylvie space" dead horse. I think Matt has an understanding with Sylvie and what she's been through. She's also had a pretty crappy run with relationships. She's been engaged twice and hurt ample times. I think he gets that so he doesn't want to move in too soon and hurt her. I think her planting that kiss on him when he went to check on her took him by surprise then he got caught up in it. Then she asked him about Gabby and it got real and he panicked.

That was kind of all over the place and im sorry! But i had to let that all out! I also hope it made sense and hope it answered your question at least a little! I feel like i got kind of off topic there 😅

Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor. 

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage? 

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

i hate paris

Do people still use tumblr? I’m so old. And I never used it. I don’t keep up with the times. I don’t give a shit. You know what? It all passes. Except facebook. They made a deal with the devil and really, was it worth it? I use facebook. I live in Paris and there are these groups for women, expats, cheap people like me that want free yoga. That’s what I use it for. And news. BBC CNN ABC NBC MSNBC, you get it and the posts. They report what the people supposedly want, but then we can see what the people are actually saying. Donald Trump won’t win? Look at voices talking? Look at the little people. It looked like he was going to win. What do you know, he did. But what if he had lost. What if Hilary didn’t get a handle on COVID and then Donald won in 2020? We would all be so fucked right now. Maybe we already are. Anyway, I’m not here to talk politics. I’m here to process my life choices and see if there were signs that I was making HUGE mistake. 

So here’s the thing. I’m a bit untraditional. Growing up was shit. Chuck left and made sure to shit all over everything before he did. And the whole get married in your 20′s have babies get divorced get remarried have more kids bc hey you’re not old at 30 and this is the guy you actually wanted to have kids with. I rant but you get it. Traditional not for me. Also not traditional, i have some money. This money has paid for college, pastry school and yes this wonderful covid filled experience in paris: the city that hates me. I’m fortunate. I don’t live lavishly. It’s not that much money. I grew up poor, I pinch pennies. Then i do exciting things. Or maybe challenging things? I am fortunate and grateful. And guilt filled. I am given this gift and shit it away, trying make something out of this paris experience. It’s like a bad relationship where i keep begging to give it one more change. It will get better. I’m a fucking idiot. So here I am, you know third times the charm, right? Back in paris. Vaccinated. I’ve made connections with people. I feel confident that this will not be a waste. It will be fun. It will be educational. I will network. Gain experiences. Omg learn so much. Be able to travel. OH the hopes and delusions i had. But maybe we should start from the beginning. 

Omg, which beginning. Paris, i guess, we can go back further when the moment calls. So 30 is approaching. I’ve moved back home. That’s story for another time. Remember my life is not traditional. So I’m home to help out and idk try to figure out what the fuck i want to do with my life. See the big mistake i made in my 20s was listening to people i don’t admire. i graduate with an art degree. my college exit interview said i am qualified to work at a bank or Kraft foods. no connects, recommendations. No direct. And my family keeps talking about getting a job, benefits, 401k. At one point a little later on, my grandpa was pushing for me to go into service. Sorry gramps, they don’t want me. My education was good. I learned a lot. They had good resources and a lot. But then nothings. So i worked at a bakery. I worked hard at this bakery. For more than a few months i worked 7 days a week. I didn’t have a life. i had money. Money i made. And apparently that was the most important thing, from the talks i keep getting from my family. And of course i wasn’t earning enough, so needed to work harder and climb the ladder. There is no ladder in a bakery. Whatever, I rant again. We’ll come back to this. 

So 30. It’s looming. I’ve thought about grad school. The money I mentioned earlier. It’s had time to grow. The GRE expires after 5 years, not that i took it but 7 years after I graduated, i wasn’t taking it. So Europe. Europe is artsy. I would like to make good money, enjoy the work okay, but mostly make good money with the least amount of actual work. So teaching. My mom teaches. Computer programing. She’s the head of the department. She fucking hates it. The dude that was suppose to get that job, he died. It was sad. But they also didn’t replace him so when the other guy retired, it became her job. It was an unpleasant 10ish years. But again, I digress. So teaching. Work hard and play hard. And it’s always changing - ish. I guess as much as you want, or don’t. New students every 15 weeks. breaks at all the holidays. Summers off. And when you’re just about to get bored, you’re back at work. Maybe because this is the only lifestyle i know, but it doesn’t sound bad. I worked in an office of women in high school. That i for sure knew i never wanted. But teaching. College. Okay. I need a masters. Learn about MA and MFA. Start looking for jobs in Cali because life’s too short to fucking deal with the snow and mosquitos. Idk everyone doesn’t live in Cali. So now the plan is MFA. They are much more rare and more in demand at universities. More money - but this time i think chasing the money necessary bc Calif = expensive. Now back to looking in Europe. I love Italy. I would love to live in in Italy for more that just a semester but actually live Italian or close to it. The language makes sense. The people make sense. The art makes sense. And it’s omg gorgeous. Alas, no American accredited MFA programs I could qualify for in Italy. I don’t know if there were none but if there were, they would have been in textiles, or digital/graphic design. Which I don’t know anything about. I’m old school, metal work, drawing, printmaking - although so far we haven’t gotten along, another thing i going to try to make work before i leave this city that hates me, for good - painting, ceramics, you get it. I hate computers. I appreciate technology but my mom teaches computers therefore there was never a working computer in my house so we (my brothers and me) don’t do computers. So i find this school - in english and in Paris. Paris, so glamorous. Home of famous artists and their art. The Louvre and Eiffel Tower and Fashion. So okay, i check out their programs. One i have no fucking clue what it is. Still don’t. Another is Photography - pass. Graphics - no. List continues. Then i see Drawing. That’s interesting. I can draw, i draw well. This is a program i could probably get into. SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: you can get into any program. No program is ever full. It’s bull shit. Masters program. Undergrad = everyone is applying at the same time. Masters = ages range and much fewer people go. So don’t fall for that shit - EVER. 

They have a one year and two year program. The second year is less than half the first year so makes sense to go the second year and get the MFA vs MA. So that works out. I’m reading and checking it out. Not sure what I’m looking for but in hindsight, i knew something was missing. Talk it over with my mom and her peers who are also teachers. Consensus - don’t be part of the first group. So i have an interview to get it - what a joke. It is also a time for me to learn more about the program. So i ask, is this new? How long has it been around. Answer: Oh no, it’s been working several years. Very confident. I didn’t have a follow-up, just said I don’t want to be in the first group. I said those words. Her response: Oh no no don’t worry. I was so naive. And yes this continued through the whole program. People’s personalities are what they are. So she lied to get me into the program and just kept lying. No respect for the insane about of money i was paying for this ‘experience’. No respect for the education i could have gotten somewhere else. Because this program had NO educational value. I’m not being bitter or dramatic. It was a complete waste of time and money. Then covid happened. Might have been a blessing in disguise. I can go into detail of the program later. This is just an overview of the beginning. 

So, I get accepted. What a surprise. I’m now officially 30 and this - i feel- is my last hoorah. After this i will be an adult who can get an adult job and become an adult. But first i need housing. And a visa. Which is very confusing. So the French and Italians - Italians I am familiar  with, tell you about it later. So they’re similar in that lazy, lack of thoroughness, that’s their thing. Difference being Italians own it, French hardcore deny. So I’m reading this paperwork and it says thing like you need to have all your documents before your visa appointment including plane ticket. Well I can’t go without the visa so why would i get a plane ticket? Cart before the horse shit - it’s very french, wait until you hear about banks.  

As a on and off Deke fan how do you think his development will be in s7? I mean in s5 I loved Deke first being reluncant to help the people who got his parents killed and betraying them to sacrificing himself for a cause he could finally believe in bc he finally had hope. And then he went back with the team found the family he never had, lightened up, etc. s6 i feel like idk the team wasn’t very nice to him and he was a little annoying and treated like comedic relief to a static earth-

team. And until FitzSimmons came back he was ngl but kinda annoying? And I loved his speech in 6x12 one of my fave moments of the season for sure but I feel like they could’ve built up to it better? And I’m excited for him to come to his own in s7 but do you expect more development for him? Like s5 had? Or are we going to get him just having a “funny” crush on Daisy or the team just hating him for 13 hours straight?

Hi Anon,

Oh boy, I apologize in advance for this because boy to I have feelings about how Deke’s arcs has gone down and how he’s treated overall.   I’ve got a few metas that are in the abyss of my blog so this will be a good place to pile it all together.

To start out I love Deke...we named our dog after him, he’s one of my kiddos favorites, and I love the Fitzsimmons family overall and desperately am hoping that we get one good full family adventure before it ends.

For Season 5 Deke its pretty amazing to learn that he was supposed to be killed off pretty early on but the writers loved Jeff so much and what he brought to the cast and the character they kept him on.  Especially when you see that there were hints about his lineage from the moment we met him.  This also lead to a great deal of math as I tried to figure out the timing and we found that indeed there would have been enough of a window for Fitzsimmons (or someone else on the team to have an older child or grandchild at this point).

In Season 5 the first time we saw each member of the Fitzsimmons Family they were masked.   Jemma wearing the gas mask, Deke in the Star Lord esque number, and Fitz as Bashtok.  

Therefore I feel the decision was made pretty early on to keep him around and to make him Fitzsimmons Grandson.  I personally enjoyed the hints as it followed what they did with Radcliffe in season 4, hinting that he could indeed be Fitz’s father whom was unknown to the fandom, again the writers talked about it but instead we got Alistair...RIP Dadcliffe theory I still love you   

Giving Deke that hero arc towards the end of the A arc, having him help the team even though they didn’t listen to him, were just more and more hints.  

Where I was disappointed with his development in Season 5 was as you said.  He finally had his family back, his grandparents that his mother had spoken so lovingly about.  And aside from a few really lovely consoling moments with Jemma and a small team up with Fitz in Option 2....he turned into a love sick puppy dog for Daisy.  Part of me get its, the writers needing to focus on Fitz’s break and the teams overall split and dysfunction as the end of the world neared  It was very disappointing to see their final scene cut as well.  I would have much rather seen him sticking with his Grandparents, running away with them and Yoyo, or Hale doing something with the knowledge she had of his linage than him just following Daisy around.

Moving onto Season 6 I’d had a bit of hope he’d be on Team Space Fitz rescue, but once I started getting that split story feel from the cast filming I knew he was on earth trying to find his own way.   Again I totally agree, the writers didn’t seem to know what to do with him between Code Yellow and when Fitzsimmons returned and he desperately tried to connect with them, especially Fitz.  He so wanted his approval and to get on better than he did with Loop Fitz.  So while we waited for Fitzsimmons to return he was used a bit as a punching bag.  Mack, May, Daisy, and most of the agents barely tolerating him.   Being forced on missions he was uncomfortable with and not trailed for.  Getting yelled at when he couldn’t pull off what his grandparents could.  

Once Fitzsimmons were back I enjoyed the balance of comedy and heartfelt moments.  I really did like the chaotic vibe he had with Snowflake and his heart  His blow up in 12 was totally warranted and allowed him to have some serious hero moments, earn some respect from Mack, and still brought some comedic light to what were some seriously stressful points in the finale.

Now Season 7 is when I think Deke is really going to come into his own.   Those who have ready my theories and predictions throughout hiatus know I’ve been pretty firm on this all along.  I also had the recent revealation that Deke is a bit of a Dark Horse for the team.   As with all the scans the Chronicoms have, even Fitzsimons from Inescapable, they know next to nothing about him.  Jemma didn’t know his full talents before she left to get Fitz.  Meaning they won’t know what’s coming with them and if the team ever needs a Hunter level crazy Release the Ferrets kind of plan to throw them off.  Deke is their man!  It will also allow him to operate under the radar until he makes a few too many waves and lands in the Chronicoms sites.  

I think for Deke this little trip through history is going to be amazing for him and he’s going to want to get into the field as much as possible, see as much of the earth as he can like never before, and witness the history of Earth that he was never really able to learn.  And seriously writers if I don’t get at least one scene of Jemma fussing over him in one of his period looks i”m gonna be very sad.

Deke is going to have to be the one to fill Fitz’s shoes with Jemma in the lab with Bobo in hiding.  Here for the first time he’ll get to really work with one of them, see how they operate, and be able to learn from her just as she will from him.  Well see him have some pretty big breakthroughs during the Season. I also think that out of all the team Jemma is going to lean heavily on Deke for support as the separation for Fitz....and concern for his safely grows.  I still maintain if there is a Secret Child Deke will be the only one she tells and that child or no Deke will be the only one to back her up when she insists that Fitz is in serious danger and something needs to be done.  Add Nana and Deke running off to save Bobo to my wish list.  

I am still concerned about the whole Puppy Dog crush on Daisy thing.  I don’t really ship them at all and if the writers do take it there its going to take most if not all season for Daisy to start to come around to him.  So that will likely flare up from time to time.  

I also think he’ll still have to prove himself to others on the team like Mack, Elena, Daisy, Yoyo, and maybe Robo Coulson.  And at some point his lack of training in the field will bite him and I think he’ll get injured ore than a few times.

By the end of the Season Deke is going to be an integral part of the team and going into the final fight, especially if there is a tech element to it  I think he’ll play a part in saving Fitz and perhaps the world.  That does leave me on the fence if he makes it or not.  I fear if he is on as big of a hero arc as Mace was he’ll fall to the same fate and sacrifice himself, especially for his grandparents.  But I can also see him going on to take over for Fitzsimmons when they leave Shield.  Though my dream I know very well I’m not getting is he decides to stay with them wherever they land.  

Deke will also continue to add that comedic element that is very desperately needed as things get more serious.  Enoch and Robo Coulson will also help with this void and oh boy if we are lucky enough for Deke to meet Uncle Hunter at some point....yes another dream of mine.

Overall I am super excited where they take Deke this season as I feel its going to be his time to shine.  Sure like everyone he’ll slip here and there but overall he’s going to Dazzle.  He’s going to be really get close and bond with Jemma and be there to support her as the separation from Fitz goes on and gets more dangerous.  And I think that we will see him find himself, who he wants to be, and what it means to be a Fitzsimmons.

𝟷𝟾𝟸𝙾𝚜 𝙲𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙴𝙴𝚃. i figured it might actually help people to have a simple cheat sheet guide to vague 1820s daily life, so they don’t have to go searching themselves to make an au if they want to! this is info compiled by both viktor and myself for the purpose of our 1820s server. under the cut bc this shit is long.

SO WHAT IS GENERAL LIFE LIKE ( as explained by mr. viktor b. [redacted] ) - We are early in industrialisation. Coal is primarily a source of heat, not power yet but it's Comin'. First steam locomotives have been made, and the first railway for public passengers just opened in '25, transporting people a short stretch in Durham (but who lives in Durham anyway). The main use of these engines is in mining. - The other industries that have been mechanised are done from wind and water mills. Most notably does textile production utilize water power. This will all eventually also switch to steam, we are in a real changeover period right now, just on the cusp of industrialisation - Gas lamps are widespread and in use in more fancy homes and public places! Otherwise, one must rely on petroleum or good ol candles, this makes us all very dependent on the phases of the moon for nighttime endeavours, as these lights are not particularly effective - Transportation is by Horse or Boat. Boat is faster, and as result, most industry and "larger" urban centres all congregate around rivers. - Society is generally quite fragmented, with the majority of populations living in the countryside with doings related to farmland and so on. The pricklings of industrialisation will drive more people towards the cities, as they build bigger receptacles for jobs and the countryside is mechanised. But not entirely yet. - We have just (well since 1815) exited the Napoleonic wars, a long and gruelling affair that has left Britain in a bit of an economic depression. There is general class unrest and intensified punishment for crime, which is on the rise. - it is an incredibly hierarchal society with very few avenues of social mobility, though with increasing industrialisation and better access to universities, the bourgeois class is rising and the economic elite are no longer all related by blood. What horror! - That is not to say that nobility have no power. Aside from the French, who are currently in a mess coming out of the First Empire (press F to pay respects), the noble class still controls the vast majority of funds and property, with most common people working underneath such a family in some regard. - disease is rife and often comes from lack of nutrients, but we don't know how those work so like, die I guess. As a result, malformations is far more common than today, especially in the underclass - Everyone Drinks Alcohol All The Time Water Is Not Safe - Empires are a thing! Imperialism is well on its way to do more acts of terror and horror upon the world, but it's also making the colonisers well rich so it's fine innit (it's not) - Fashions are back to being a bit more cinched in than they were in the earlier regency (get it because we're all wearing corsets with a tight waist focus im very smart) and is generally restrictive both for men and women in the upper class. The lower classes can't afford big changes in clothes, but at least they are all wearing long trousers now and not breeches. - Breeches are still valid for evening wear, show off those calves boyes - oh cholera is happening lol - clothes generally have far more layers and are heavier than what we see today. They wear for far longer for this reason, but this is also because warming up a house is bloody well impossible, if you've ever been in a student housing unit you know what I mean when I say poor insulation. You needed those layers pretty much year round.

SO WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MEDICAL STUFF ( as explained by ms. iris n. [redacted] )

— Academic study of anatomy is rapidly on the rise. We've shot up from around 300 students of anatomy in London in 1798 to nearly 1,000 in London in 1823. Approach to teaching anatomy is also changing, with a heavier emphasis on the necessity of students dissecting bodies themselves instead of merely observing dissection.  — In 1788, we have the first recorded trial for disinterment of a corpse. In Rex v. Lynn, the judge ruled it to be a misdemeanour to disinter a body for dissection. However, this law really wasn't that strongly enforced when it first came into play, since, at that time, there were few enough exhumators / resurrectionists that the public really didn't notice the offence. As demand increased, however, the public became more aware of the crime, and the authorities started to crack down more on the guilty parties. There are also cases that have set up the precedence that even preventing a body from initial interment is a punishable offence, as some men have been charged with crimes like conspiring to prevent burial. Surgeons and anatomists can be indicted, too, not just the resurrectionists. — As both demand and risk increase, the resurrectionists become more and more degraded and desperate individuals. There's an enormous amount of competition between them, with criminals competing to muscle others out of their territories.  — The price for a body is generally between £7 and £10, at this time. Burke and Hare sold their first body in 1827 for £7.10. This is an enormous price in the 1820s. — Students are starting to leave England in pursuit of better anatomy teaching, generally choosing France for its comparatively more lax laws regarding dissection. Professors, students, and doctors are starting to really put pressure on the government to reform the system.  — The only bodies you can legally dissect at this point are the bodies of hanged murderers. A debate was introduced in parliament to suggest widening the scope of the law to permit dissecting the bodies of those hanged for burglary and robbery, but this was never put into law. — Most anatomists did not know (or at least claimed not to know) that it was illegal to have a body in their possession that did not belong to a hanged murderer. As such, many were not very careful about hiding the fact that they were purchasing disinterred bodies. — The decision of what to do to reform the system is heavily debated. Some doctors favour the French system, wherein any unclaimed body is permitted to be used for dissection; some more radical doctors, like the anonymous doctor who published a pamphlet under the pseudonym of Alexipharmacus in 1829, favour a system wherein the only bodies dissected are the bodies of those who have given express consent for their corpses to be anatomised after death. Guy was ahead of his time, really. — Although the Burke and Hare case doesn't break until November of 1828, people were already beginning to discuss the worrying possibility that this current system was going to end up producing murderers.  — Public sentiment towards anatomists and surgeons wasn't... great, at this period, for obvious reasons.

any kind of relationship is applicable so... familial 1-10 for borys and lew, romantic 11-20 for serena n konow and platonic 21-31 (32 if ya like) zoe and reno if that's available yet

everything goes!

Brothers Sagar

1. What is their relationship to each other?

Bröthers, Lew is the elder and more chaotic and disappointment to the parents while Borys is the more respectable one

 2. How did they first encounter each other? What did they first think about each other? 

Lew when he was five and Borys was born, upon seeing his newborn brother, he just said, “ew”

3. What is their relationship like now?

Borys will forever be salty about Lew getting promoted to captain when he had worked much harder and generally be more reliable. But he’d also die for Lew if he had to. 

Lew likes to tease Borys and calls him a baby all the time. He’s not as miffed about Borys as he is about Lew and would not hesitate to die for him either.

 4. What will their relationship be like in the future?

Borys finally gets his rank of knight captain while lew is... promoted... to spy master. But they both agree this is more Lew’s alley anyway so Borys is not as salty as he used to be. Lew is also and uncle now so that’s neat. They keep close contact and are now little more close than they used to be (not that they weren’t close before, just more now)

 5. What traits does each person find endearing in the other?

Lew can respect Borys being dutiful and kind and smart, he feels like he fucked up his teen/early adult years so bad but at least their parents can be proud of one (1) son.

Borys find Lew’s antics increasingly amusing and he’s always fun to be around.How he’s always up for shenanigans and how fiercely protective he is

 6. Which traits does each person find annoying in the other?

While Lew’s shenanigans are amusing, most of the results are.. not. Lew is very short sighted and bit of a loose cannon when it comes to life choices. Also, not that great taste in partners

Lew would like Borys to lighten up a little, stop being so high and mighty goody-two-shoes, dont you just want to go apeshit

 7. How often do they see each other? How often do they talk to each other?

In Lew’s early 20′s they didnt see each other at all with Lew being in some gang. When Borys joined the military in his 20′s Lew finally showed up with one fith of his fingers missing and hanged around in Glasford. They later relocated to the eastern outpost where they shared their duties and got up to some sibling shenanigans. 

 8. Could they live together easily? Why/why not?

They pretty much lived in the same barracks all the way up to Lew’s career change when he returned to Glasford. It went pretty well, and all their fellow soldiers knew about the brothers, just keep their sleeping quarters separate bc Lew would keep Borys awake all night

 9. How much physical contact would these characters have with each other? 

Hugs, fist bumps, chest bumps, flying nut high fives, you know, bro stuff

10. What would they get for each other as birthday gifts?

Borys gives Lew two stick and says he found his fingers. Otherwise they just get each other some beer, no need to be fancy or creative

How to get disowned by your family 101

 11. What hobbies do they share, if any?

Both ride horses, Serena for fun and Konow more out of duty but, you know, when it’s two of them on an outing it’s no longer duty

 12. Do either of them have any hobbies or interests which annoy the other? 

All the high magic stuff goes over Konow’s head a little, but not to the point of annoying. 

13. Do any of their beliefs (religious, moral, or otherwise) differ? Do they conflict strongly?

Serena’s main god is Leeo, the god of wisdom and magic, for obvious reasons, but Konow leans more to Devia, but they’re n the same pantheon so it really doesn’t matter, Leeo is bit of a niche god anyway and in Thani the main gods are Devia and Frara

 14. Who is the better cook? Who is better at general household tasks?

Konow because he makes his own food more often than not, Serena, is a rich kid with servants in the manor, she’s not helpless but just not used to doing household stuff

 15. Which of them is more adventurous? Is the other adventurous enough to go along with them? 

Serena for sure, it was her idea to run away go study to Asaya. Know would’ve been fine with staying in Thani but Serena asked so nicely

16. Would they go on holiday together, and where would they go? 

Their entire two years in Asaya was one big holiday, they also ventured more south to Esweck

17. When one is feeling down, how does the other respond? 

Konow offers a listening ear and a holding hand. Serena if she notices Konow is feeling down she’ll make an excuse to leave the manor ground with him to be just to two of them or order everyone out of her room to have only Konow there so he can openly tell what’s going on

18. If one was in a difficult life situation, what would the other do for them?

Their entire dynamic is one difficult life situation. First they stayed hidden, Serena taking blame if they would be caught so nothing would happen to Konow, then they ran away, Konow keeping Serena safe in strange lands. They both look out for each other

 19. Has one ever had to stop the other from making a very foolish decision? And did the other listen to them?

It’s usually Serena who is about to do something that Konow has to stop. She listen to his reasons. But the most foolish of the decisions they made Together, at the same time, without consulting each other

 20. Has one ever strongly encouraged the other to make a big decision? Did they go through with it? 

Serena, convincing Konow to leave with her. He of course went through with it and it easily was the best decision in his life (the crashing of a wedding is only the second best bc boy howdy was he embarrassed)

Bounty dudes 

21. How would one feel about the other being in love (with them or with someone else)? 

They both would be rooting for the other, Reno seeing the kind of messy divorce of Zoe and Zoe comforting Reno when he widowed. They wish the best for the other, and think the other deserves all the happiness

22. Are there any other people who are a part of both their lives, e.g. friends or family members they share?

The entire bounty hunter office of citadel is their family at this point, Reno might be familiar with Zoe’s son and Zoe is rather close with Reno’s kids and grandkid too

 23. How does each person feel about the other person’s family members and close friends? Do they get along with them? 

Zoe gets along, she might a little intimidating at first but she gives no reason for any friends or family to be afraid of her. Zoe’s ex Knows of Reno and would greet him if they ever run into each other but they’re not close. Zoe’s son is little afraid of Reno (like he is of her mother too)

24. Do either of them get jealous over relationships the other one has with friends/family/romantic partners/other people?

Nah, they’re pretty chill, though Zoe is a little jealous how Reno is not divorced and she sometimes thinks why her marriage didn’t work (and then she goes to therapy)

 25. Is either person jealous of the other’s wealth or possessions? 

They earn the same so no need to be jealous of money

26. If the pair of them had to look after a young child or pet, what would happen?

Reno would be the more competent one and Zoe... she tries, oh my god does she try but she’s pretty stubborn and if something small goes wrong she’ll have a Moment

 27. How far would each go to protect the other?

They’ve both in the past jumped to danger to haul the other to safety, plenty of scars to prove those times. This day Zoe takes on all the complaints and responsibility from the police and the public so Reno can focus on their people and not worry about those things

 28. Is there anyone else that each person would protect over the other, if they had to make a choice?

Zoe would die for her son. Reno would do the same for his family too probably, both acknowledge the fact. (but i can’t think of a situation rn where they would have to make that choice)

 29. If one died, how would the other respond? What would happen to them afterwards?

Deep grief, they’ve been comrades since rookies, they’ve shared pretty much everything and no other friend would ever replace them

 30. How far would each person follow the other? Would they trust them enough to commit crime because the other asked them to?

If Zoe is in big fights with police Reno would back her up, if she’s upset with something the justice system i feel like he would trust her reasoning. Same with Zoe to Reno, if he goes against the grain she’d be 100% on board. But no crimes, they’re bounty hunter after all (unless the law is unjust then yea)

 31. If one wronged the other badly, would the other forgive them easily?

After long talks and time to cool down, explain why they did it and promise to consult them in the future

The Complete History of China (according to film) Part 2: “Sacrifice” and the Orphan of Zhao

Mission Statement

There are many films set in historical China and I am going to try to watch as many as I can, in chronological order, so that I can learn the complete history of China (at least, according to film).

Our Source

“Sacrifice” is a 2010 Chinese film by esteemed Chinese director Chen Kaige, inspired by a 13th-century play.

The story is one of family, revenge, and, yes, sacrifice. It revolves around an innocent man and a child whose lives are thrown into chaos by a power struggle beyond their control.

Setting

During the Spring and Autumn period (~7th-6th Century BC) in the State of Jin

The Story of the Zhao Clan

It is nearing the end of the 7th Century BC and the Zhao clan is the most powerful family in the state of Jin. Zhao Dun, head of the clan, serves as Grand Councillor to the Duke of Jin. His son is Zhao Shuo, the latest general in the Duke’s army. Zhao Shuo is also married to the Duke’s sister, Lady Zhuangji.

You know who isn’t happy about this? Tu’an Gu, who used to be the Duke’s favoured general. Now this new Zhao general is being given all of the important assignments, and he gets to marry the Duke’s sister! Old Tu’an Gu is getting left behind and forgotten. Worst of all, he isn’t getting any respect. For instance, the Duke, a childish prankster at heart, slings a rock at the Grand Councillor’s horse and makes it look like Tu’an Gu did it. Tu’an is forced to eat the rock as an apology. So, yeah, the Duke is a bit of a jerk.

Tu’an Gu, tired of the constant humiliation that his life has become, schemes to get rid of the Duke and the Zhao clan in one fell swoop. To accomplish his plan, he procures the services of the world’s smallest assassin. It’s a bug.

At a celebration of their recent victories, Zhao Dun presents the Duke with fine wine as a gift. As the Duke is taking a drink the bug is released. It stings the Duke on the back of the neck, killing him instantly. In the ensuing chaos, Tu’an Gu accuses Zhao Dun of poisoning the wine. Tu’an takes command and orders that the Zhao clan be wiped out. A battle begins in the palace, spilling out into the streets.

Meanwhile, Lady Zhuangji is about to give birth to Zhao Shuo’s son. She is completely unaware of what has occured. Her physician, Cheng Ying, happens to have a newborn son of his own. Cheng and his wife have yet to decide upon a name for their son. Zhuangji suggests ‘Bo.’

Outside, Zhao Dun is dead. Zhao Shuo is only mostly dead and just barely manages to crawl back to his home. He warns his wife of the soldiers who are going to be coming after them. With his dying breath, he tells her to run. Right on cue she goes into labour, on the floor, next to her dead husband. Cheng Ying delivers the child. He is a healthy baby boy.

By this time the Zhao home is surrounded by Tu’an’s soldiers. The child of Zhao Shuo is the one thing that can stand between Tu’an and the Jin throne. Tu’an doesn’t know if the child has been born yet, but if it has, he has no intention of letting it live. He sends one of his loyal soldiers, Han Jue, into the house to bring Zhuangji out.

Zhuangji places a pillow under her clothes to make it look as though she is still pregnant. Then, she kills herself. Her hope was that Tu’an’s men would think she died before giving birth, giving Cheng Ying time to sneak out of the house with the baby through the secret exit. Han Jue doesn’t fall for Zhunagji’s fake pregnancy, but he plays along so that he doesn’t have to kill the baby. By the time Tu’an makes his way in, Cheng is long gone. Tu’an gives Han a nasty scar across his face for letting the child escape.

Cheng Ying brings the baby back to his own home. Tu’an, knowing the baby is still somewhere in the city, sends his men to search all the homes for newborn babies.

***SPOILERS BELOW***

Plans are hatched, mistakes are made. There are mix-ups and unfortunate coincidences. The details are not important. What matters is that Tu’an ends up killing Cheng Ying’s newborn child by mistake, thinking it to be the Zhao child. Cheng’s wife attacks the guards in her grief and she, too, is killed. Cheng, having lost his own wife and child, chooses to raise the Zhao child as his own. The child is called Cheng Bo and is believed by all in the city to be Cheng Ying’s own flesh and blood. Tu’an becomes the ruler of Jin.

To show that there are no hard feelings between them, Cheng Ying allows Tu’uan to become the godfather of his ‘son,’ Bo. Wait, why would Ying want Bo to be the godson of Tu’an, of all people?

Well, it turns out that Ying didn’t adopt the Zhao child strictly out of the goodness of his heart. What he wants is revenge.

Han Jue, who has grown to be Ying’s friend and co-conspirator, wanted to just kill Tu’an. Ying, however, thinks that a simple death is too good for Tu’an. He wants Tu’an to experience heartache, just as Ying felt when his wife died. Only then does he want Tu’an to die. How does Ying hope to accomplish this? First, he will allow Tu’an to become Bo’s godfather. He will encourage them to spend time together and to grow close, until Tu’an starts to love Bo like a son. Tu’an will even teach Bo how to fight with a sword. Then, Ying will tell Bo the truth. How Bo’s true parents were killed because of Tu’an, and how Bo, too, would have been killed if it were not for the sacrifice of Ying’s own son. Finally, Tu’an will die at Bo’s hand.

Bo has a strange childhood. He has both a loving father and godfather, though he can tell that the two don’t get along. His father also grows to be very overprotective of him.

When Bo grows into a young man, Tu’an convinces him to join the army. Ying doesn’t approve, but Bo wants to go fight alongside his godfather. Finally, Ying tells Bo the truth about his past. Bo, however, doesn’t believe it. He thinks that his father made up the story to turn him against Tu’an.

Bo goes off to war. It looks like Cheng Ying’s plan has failed. Ying agrees to let Han kill their mutual enemy the old-fashioned way: with a poison arrow.

Meanwhile, Tu’an grows suspicious. He has noticed that Bo, in his armour, looks just like Zhao Shuo. During battle, Bo finds himself surrounded by enemy soldiers. Tu’an considers allowing Bo to die. Ultimately he can’t do it, and he rescues his godson. Bo, in turn, is given the chance to rescue his godfather’s life. When Tu’an is hit by Han’s arrow, Bo saves him using some of Ying’s medicine.

Once he recovers, Tu’an reveals his suspicions to Bo. He tells him that he may, in fact, be the Zhao orphan. Bo knows now that everything his father told him is true.

Tu’an summons Cheng Ying and Cheng Bo to come before him so that they can get everything out in the open. Tu’an owes Bo his life, and he has no intention of harming him or Cheng Ying. Instead, he will allow them to flee Jin. Bo, however, does the unexpected by raising his sword against his godfather, Tu’an. He has decided that he will avenge Ying’s son.

As Bo and Tu’an fight, Ying has second thoughts. After all this time vengeance may finally be his. Everything is going according to plan. Ying, however, finds that he is worried about Bo. He wants Bo to live more than he wants Tu’an to die. He comes between them, trying to stop the fight, only to get impaled by Tu’an’s sword. Tu’an, it seems, has decided that peace is no longer an option. Bo, in turn, stabs Tu’an through the heart. Tu’an dies quickly.

In his dying moments, Cheng Ying sees his revenge come to fruition. It finally happened, after he no longer needed it to, and it only cost him his life.

The film ends with Ying’s death. We don’t get to find out what happens to Bo. I would assume, with Han Jue still around to confirm his parentage, that Bo will reclaim his birthright as a member of the Zhao clan, and, possibly, as ruler of Jin.

Historical Significance

From this film we learn of the Zhao clan, an important family in Jin that seems like they may have wielded even more power than the childish Duke whom they served. We learn also of a general whose personal vendetta took down the Duke and wiped out most of the Zhao clan. Lastly, we learn of the Zhao orphan, raised in secret only to overthrow the general and take back his birthright as an adult.

This film is my first exposure to the “Spring and Autumn period in Chinese history. It seems like a fairly contentious time. Power struggles, political intrigue, assassination, and war seem commonplace. Not at all like the Shang Dynasty, which was said to be pretty peaceful until King Zhou mucked things up. Of course, I’m sure the peaceful times in history don’t tend to have movies made about them.

The Film

This is the first film I’ve seen from director Chen Kaige, who is clearly a great visual storyteller. Occasionally I found the film to be stylized to a fault. For instance, during the battle in the palace there were a couple of soldiers working for the Zhao who were given cool action moments, including a couple of slow motion shots. This made me assume that these characters were important, but then they died before even being given names. In instances like that, I would say that style gets in the way of narrative focus. The cool shots, which draw attention to themselves, should be used for the more important moments in the narrative. Overall, though, I found the movie to be very well made and it succeeded in getting me invested in the story.

Incidentally, the previous film I looked at was also centered around an elaborate revenge plot. Just how much of Chinese history is based on revenge? I guess I’ll find out.

A Glimmer of Hope [1]

A/N: I shall be posting requests over the weekend. I started writing this story around 2016 (it’s on my quotev and FanFiction.Net) but bc of the rebooted anime I decided to reboot my own story as well the new anime’s honour :3

Word Count: 2706

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sad character past, mentions of family abuse. Crappy format bc it was posted on mobile app. I’ll fix it up later. For now, enjoy!!

Pairing: Eventual Kyo x Oc

Story Notes:

Bold text is Amélie’s thoughts and inner dialogue.

Italicised text is when Amélie is narrating bits of the story like Tohru does in the anime as well as flashbacks (I will let you know what’s a flashback and what’s not though)

ONE - ENCOUNTERS

Amélie smiled to herself as she breathed in the fresh morning air. She marvelled at how beautiful and blue the sky was and how the white fluffy clouds looked as if they were painted in gentle strokes.

'Oooh yeah, that sun feels so warm.'

The sun shone bright, warming up her pale skin, erasing the goose bumps that littered her exposed arms. Turning back to the small black tent that she currently called home, her lip twitched and formed into a forlorn smile as she looked at the photograph sitting atop a folded pile of clothes in a simple brown wooden picture frame. It was a picture of her when she was six, posing with her mum and dad. Everything was so happy and bright back then... but a dark storm washed all that happiness away and she hasn't really felt it since. Despite the accident that befell them happening so long ago, it still got to her. It still haunted her dreams at night and plagued her thoughts during daylight. She wished she could just stop feeling – it would make things so much easier.

With a heavy sigh, Amélie grabbed her school bag and guitar and secured them both around her back and shoulder respectively. She cast one last glance at the picture before zipping up the tent and making sure it was secure, not that she was worried about anyone breaking in. Not many people passed by this area.

'See you guys soon. I love you.'

Even so, she didn't keep her more valuable belongings in the tent, like her piano keyboard. She kept that safely locked up in the school music room. Normally, she'd leave her guitar there too but she wanted to work on the new song she was writing. But she never kept both instruments in the tent at the same time in case something did happen. She didn't want to risk it no matter how small the chance. A part from the picture, her guitar and piano were the only things she had left of her parents. They were both musicians – her mum sang and wrote and her dad played. Music was one of the only things she still found happiness in. She hoped that one day her music would be played across the world for people to enjoy.

Amélie tugged at her uniform, wishing she had a mirror to check herself with. Amélie was never very fond of the girl's uniform so she wore the boy's one instead. She traded in her skirt and blouse for the pants and collared shirt and paired it with her own plain black Doc Martin's. She felt more comfortable in them than the lace up shoes the school provided. The school faculty stopped carding her after the first two weeks she refused to change. She also liked the fact that she didn't have to worry about boys trying to sneak-a-peak up her skirt. The last boy who tried walked away with a swollen cheek, bruised eye and busted lip. She stood by her actions however.

'The little shit deserved it. He had it coming if you ask me.'

Amélie hadn't always lived in a tent. After the death of her parents, her French side of her family were given custody over her but she wouldn't really call them family. The first thing they did was disown her, cast her out and hand her over to the state orphanage as soon as they could. She ended up living there until she was thirteen after her Japanese side of the family finding out about her and adopting her. Amélie would've preferred to stay at the orphanage since they were more of a family than her actual relatives. By the age of sixteen she had endured enough of their abuse and torment and ran away. She ended up staying at both her friends, Uotani and Hanajima's place for a while upon their insistence but the guilt became too much so she lied about having found good accommodation. In reality, she kept moving from hotel to hotel until she was forced to live in the tent she was living in currently. A glamorous life she liked to sarcastically call it, but she was grateful at least that she wasn't living on the sidewalks or under a bridge somewhere.

"Il ya toujours un arc en ciel après la tempéte!" She quoted to herself. There's always a rainbow after a storm. It was something her mother used to quote quite often.

The forest that she walked through she found to be quite calming and beautiful with all the tall trees and lush greenery. With that being said, feeling a little adventurous this morning and wanting to delay school as much as she could, she decided to take a different route. The more she drifted away from her usual path, the more the forest became increasingly unfamiliar until she had no idea where she was going.

"Fuck sakes," She cursed. 'Why would you even try straying from the main path with your horrible sense of direction? I'm such an idiot sometimes.'

However, much to her surprise, something in the peripherals of her vision captured her attention and halting her steps. To her far right, down a hill was a large clearing that lead to a traditional Japanese looking house. Amélie should've known that a forest as beautiful as this one had to have some kind of estate built upon it. With her curiosity piqued to the max, she couldn't help herself and decided to investigate.

‘A little snooping wouldn't hurt anybody.'

"It's called trespassing Amélie and its illegal," she reminded herself but proceeded to ignore her own warning.

Amélie was careful as she made her way down the hill. Hiding behind a bush, she did a quick look around to make sure the coast was clear before approaching the house.

'At least they don't have to worry about annoying neighbours. Must be nice to live here.'

Coming up close to the porch, Amélie couldn't help but be drawn to little ornaments sitting on a wooden rack. Upon closer inspection, she recognised them as the twelve animals of the Chinese zodiac. She smiled to herself.

"They look so well made and detailed. I wonder how long it took to paint them all..."

"Hello, this is a surprise. We don't get many young girls wondering around these parts."

Amélie bristled at the sudden voice and stumbled backwards, almost falling flat on her ass.

'Shit, shit! You've done fucked up now! Run before he calls the cops on you for trespassing! On second thought... he doesn't look too mad. Just play it cool and maybe you can leave without getting into any trouble.'

"I'm so sorry sir! I was just admiring I swear! I'm not here to cause you any trouble." She barely managed to string her words together without fumbling over them.

The man just chuckled and waved a hand at her. "It's quite alright, no harm done." The man's smile turned pensive. "I just find it hard to imagine that a teenager like yourself would find this place interesting." He mused.

'Oh thank goodness, I'm not in trouble.'

Amélie was quick to shake her head as she knelt in front of the rack, the man following suit. "No, it's a very lovely place. And I especially love these little zodiac ornaments here. Did you make them?" She asked.

"Yes I did. They're a favourite of mine too you could say."

Amélie scanned every rock that had been painted with detail and precision but a frown soon formed on her face when she noticed something missing.

"Of course you left out the cat just like everyone else." She muttered. It was more to herself than to the man in front of her although she realised she must've spoken too loud because of his surprised expression.

"The cat? Oh right, I see. You're referring to the old zodiac folktale." He said in realisation and Amélie nodded.

"I used to get dad to tell me the story sometimes before bed. I've always thought the cat had just as much importance to the story as any of the other animals did. I always felt for him."

_____________________

>>>Flashback<<<

_____________________

Little Amélie laid in her bed all snuggled and tucked beneath her plush blankets.

"Goodnight princess," Mr. Hoshimi smiled down at his daughter and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. As soon as he stood up to leave though, Amélie grabbed onto the sleeve of his shirt and tugged on it.

"Wait! Can you tell me that story about the animals again? Pwease?" She pouted, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. The elder man quickly fell for her doe eyes and hopeful smile and found himself smiling along with her.

"Oh wow could I ever say no to that cute face?" he cooed, sitting back down onto the bed.

"A long, long time ago, god decided to invite all of the animals to a glorious banquet. He sent out word for all of them to come to his house the following evening and he told them not to be late.

"Can you name all the animals Amélie?"

Amélie sat up straight and proudly listed all the animals – The dog and the dragon, the rabbit and tiger, the rat and the pig, the cow and horse, the sheep and the rooster, the monkey, the snake... "And my favourite, the cat!" She cheered.

Mr. Hoshimi just laughed and tucked Amélie back underneath the sheets and continued with the story.

"However, when the mischievous rat heard the news, he decided to play a trick on his fellow neighbour – the cat. He told the cat that the party was the day after tomorrow."

Amélie turned her nose up and scowled. "I hate this part," She grumbled with a huff. "The poor kitty cat deserves better..."

"The very next day, all of the animals lined up for the celebrations with the rat leading the way, riding all the way on the back of the cow. Everyone had a wonderful time, except for the foolish cat who missed the whole thing." Mr. Hoshimi finished.

When he looked down at his daughter, he chuckled at her grumpy pout and furrowed brows.

"Amélie honey, why so grumpy?" He asked, but he knew why. She always got mad at the rat for tricking the cat, even though it was only just a story, Amélie had vowed to be the protector of all cats.

"Because the rat was so mean! If I was the cat, I would've kicked the rats butt for being such a... well, a butt!" She exclaimed, balling her hands into tiny fists.

"And if mummy heard you talk like that, she'd have yours."

Amelie giggled sheepishly before a thought popped into her head. "Do you think the cat would like it if I started a year of the cat?!"

Mr. Hoshimi just smiled. "I'm sure he would love that honey."

_______________________

>>> End of Flashback <<<

_______________________

The kimono wearing man smirked and tapped his fingers against his chin in thought. "Funny, I wonder how he would feel after hearing that story, knowing he has a little fan."

Snapping out of her reverie, she looked at him with a confused tilt of her head. "I'm sorry, who?"

The man shook his head and part of her wondered if she was actually meant to hear what he had said or not.

"Oh nevermind. So, what year were you born in?" He asked, quickly distracting her by changing the subject and Amélie went along with it.

"Year of the Ox," she replied.

The man nodded but Amélie noticed his eyes drift to her uniform. Most people found it odd that she wore the boy's uniform so she was used to it by now. She was about to speak, but he beat her to it.

"I apologise, I don't mean to stare. I've just never seen a girl wear the boy's uniform before. I must say though, you pull it off quite well."

Amélie's cheeks flushed at the compliment. She was the worst when it came to accepting flattery and compliments.

"Thank you."

"You're not from around her are you?" He asked suddenly in a curious tone.

Amélie had been waiting for that question. Something she was often asked about also.

"It's my accent isn't it?" She supplied with a smirk.

'I'm glad it isn't too thick for people to understand me.'

"It is quite nice to listen to. I mean, aside from your pretty fa-"

Whatever the man was going to say next came to an abrupt stop and was replaced with a pained gasp as something landed on his head. It was a schoolbag, just like the one Amélie and most other high school students had.

'Oh shoot, did not expect that.'

"My head!"

"Will you at least try to control yourself?" A new voice sighed.

Amélie's eyes trailed up the person's arm that held the bag until she reached their face and her eyes widen in shock.

'No way, Yuki lives here?! If I get caught with him, that stupid fan club of his won't let me hear the end of it.'

Yuki turned his attention away from the man to Amélie. "Good morning Miss Hoshimi, I'm sorry for my cousin. He's bit of a flirt but's he's harmless. It's best to just ignore him."

"Oh no, it's alright. We were just talking is all; he's good company."

The man, Yuki's cousin, rubbed the sore spot on his head. "What do you have in there? A dictionary or something?"

Yuki barely batted an eyelash at his whining. "Two dictionaries actually," he sighed in exasperation as he slid the schoolbag onto his back, adjusting the straps so it fit comfortably on his shoulders.

Yuki's cousin rubbed his head one last time. "So, you two know each other?" He asked, pointing between the two of them.

"Miss Hoshimi and I are in the same class."

Amélie dipped her head in a respectful bow. "The name's Amélie, pleasure to meet you." She officially greeted.

"Same here. I'm Shigure Sohma and Yuki here is my little cousin." He explained with a friendly smile.

"And what brings you to our house this morning?" Yuki asked in his usual soft and polite voice.

Amélie offered them a nervous smile, rubbing the back of her neck. 'I can't exactly tell them that I live in the middle of the forest. They'll probably laugh at me. I need to think of something good to say and fast!'

"Oh uh, well you know, I live... nearby." She trailed off lamely. It wasn't a complete lie.

'Oh yeah, that's such a good cover up.'

She gulped when she noticed their stunned expressions and wished they would change the subject. She didn't do well under pressure.

"Around here? Really?"

"You do? Where?" Yuki pressed. Amélie was hyperaware of how clammy the palms of her hands were becoming.

'Abort! Abort!'

"I don't mean to be rude but I should probably head to school. I haven't been late in a while and I wanted to keep my record clean this semester."

'As if they cared or needed to know that last bit.'

She bowed to them once again. "It was nice chatting with you. Have a good day." She said in a hurry, quickly turning on her heel and walking away.

'Don't look back. Just keep walking...'

"Miss Hoshimi?" Yuki called out after her.

Amélie sighed inwardly. 'Dammit.'

Putting on a smile, she turned to face him. "Yeah?"

"Since you're here, why don't we walk to school together?" He suggested.

'Say no. It's not worth the wrath of the fan club.'

"Sure, I don't see why not?" She accepted with a forced smile.

The entire walk was done so in an awkward silence as neither Yuki nor Amélie spoke a word or even looked at each other. And to make matters worse, they did eventually run into the Prince Yuki Fan Club, prompting both teens to ignore their chants and poses which only made it all the more awkward until they parted their separated ways.

'I better prepare myself for their onslaught of pathetic questioning.'

Amélie groaned. She could feel the headache coming on already...

ahh I love your blog!! could I have a dimitri sickfic please, if you're taking requests? he seems like the type to overwork himself (to me, at least :(

he really does!! the poor boy should take care of himself :(

ft. the rest of the blue lions (silver lining for the long wait?) bc they all care about their house leader

enjoy!

edit: every time i publish a request before i go to the school, the moment i arrive to class i always spot typos lol. and this one had a looot. fixed them up!

When the coughing first appeared, he thought nothing of it. They always came and went with a good night’s rest, and he had no reason to think this one would be different.

He was wrong.

Voice hoarse, he kept clearing his throat as he tried to help Annette with her homework. She always had difficulties explaining things properly, and their teacher docked marks because of her lack of coherent thought. So he took it upon himself to tutor her and help boost up her grades. “Imagine the gaits as beats,” he said. “A walk is four—going in the pattern of left hind leg, left front, right hind, right front, and so forth.”

“Left hind…front… Wait, could you repeat that? Which leg then what? This? This? This?”

They had drawn a nice, simple horse illustration on Annette’s papers, her pencil pointing at each stick leg to show which one she was referring to. Dimitri was having trouble differentiating them. He repeated his explanation. “Legs of the same side are back to back—left, left, right, right—while the halves interchange—back, front, back front.”

“So beat one is back left, beat two is front left…”

He nodded, then winced. Okay, that was a mistake. That just made his head hurt. “Yeah, just like that.”

She beamed. “Oh! I see! I think I get it now. Thanks!”

“No problem. What else do you need me to clarify?”

“Nah, I think that’s it. I’ll try to do the rest myself.” Motioning to her notes, she added, “Besides, you’ve helped me a lot! I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Sure thing.” He rose from the seat, careful not to make any sudden movements. “I’ll get going then, but let me know if you need more help.”

“Yep! Thanks again, Dimmie!”

He stumbled away from a waving Annette, making sure to stand upright and walk in a straight line.

Now I have to feed the horses, go to lance practice, catch up on the assigned readings… Ah, I also promised Ingrid I’d try her new tea. She’s been making good progress with—

Cough.

He sighed. Hopefully this would stop soon.

But as the days went on, the more it took for him to resist barfing.

Placing a hand on the wall, he took a deep breath. Gods, it felt like his skull was cracking open. Everything hurt. Everything was hot. He didn’t even know where he was anymore.

“Common room?” he said to himself. “I think I’m near the common room.”

He had just come from the armoury, hands heavy with all the papers and materials he needed for the task. Felix didn’t realize it, but he sometimes broke the training swords faster than the monastery could replace them. Dimitri had taken up the slack in order to keep it well-stocked, so his friend could continue practicing without hassle.

“…Milord? What are you doing on the wall?”

He turned around. It was Dedue. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

Dedue didn’t seem to believe him, and he bent over to study him with a frown. Or, Dimitri figured it was a frown. He couldn’t see it properly, but he was still conscious enough to realize Dedue wouldn’t be smiling. “You look sick.”

“I’m only taking a breather,” he insisted. He had to get to the library to find source materials for the essay Sylvain has having trouble on. If he left the books on Sylvain’s desk later, the boy would be able to finish his essay on time. “No need to worry.”

But as he tried to pat Dedue’s shoulder in assurance, his vision blurred and he hit the ground, things scattering around him.

“Milord?!”

“No…I’m okay…” He struggled to keep his eyes open, but the sudden fall and the yelling made his head hurt. “Just…tired…”

He felt Dedue lift him up, his arm hanging loosely around the other’s neck. Feet dragging,  breathing ragged, his mind was beginning to shut down.

“Really…it’s nothing…I still have to…”

“Milord,” he heard Dedue say. “With all due respect, be quiet.”

The last thing he saw was a group of people running towards him before he passed out.

He woke up on something soft. It took him a second to realize he was staring at the ceiling.

…Wait, where was he?

Jolting up, he surveyed the room. White walls, beds, sterile sheets. The infirmary, if he had to guess? His head hurt noticeably less, his throat was less clogged, and he could actually count how many fingers he held up before his face.

“Oh? You’re awake?” He turned to see Manuela in her chair, brows raised but otherwise nonplussed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he said after some deliberation.

“Any headaches?”

“Yeah, but it’s not as bad as before.”

“Stuffy nose?”

“Less stuffy.”

She stalked over to take his temperature, noting it down on a piece of paper. “Your fever is breaking. And it looks like you’re not coughing as often. Good signs. Take it easy though. You’re still sick.”

“How long was I out for?”

“Nineteen hours.”

“Nineteen?!”

She gave him a reprimanding stare. “With how terrible your condition was, I’m surprised it wasn’t longer. You gave us quite a scare, looking as pale as you did. Your housemates were panicking when they brought you here.”

Thinking back to what happened, guilt set in. The last people he saw must’ve been them. “Where are they now?” he asked.

“The mess hall, having their lunch.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

He began to swing his legs over the bed before Manuela tutted, walking over to push him back on the pillows. “Hm? Who said you could leave? You’re stuck on bed rest for the rest of the day. Doctor’s orders.”

“But—”

“No buts. I don’t want you fainting in the hallways again.”

“Professor—” he tried again.

“Another word from you and the prescription will change to two days.”

He pursed his lips.

She glanced at him, smiling. “Focus on recovering, won’t you? Your housemates will feel better if you’re back to normal sooner than later.”

He nodded, not knowing what else to say. Or do, for that matter. Knowing he slept for nineteen hours straight, he wasn’t sleepy anymore. But he had a feeling if he asked the professor for something to keep him busy, she’d make him stay here longer than he needed to.

He could count sheep, he supposed. Try to reach a thousand, or something.

As he was about to begin, there was a knock on the door. He couldn’t tell who it was, but Manuela seemed to be expecting it. As she answered the door, she said, “You all ate quickly.”

“Yes, we couldn’t sit still.” His ears perked up. The voice was familiar. Mercedes? “How is he doing now?”

She thought about it, then motioned towards him. “I think it’s easier if you take a look for yourself.”

Someone gasped. “What?” That was Ashe, who slipped under Manuela to peek inside. “Does that mean it’s gotten worse? Is he—? Oh! He’s awake!”

And with that, the rest of the Blue Lions clambered into the room.

“He is?”

“Thank the gods…”

“I told you he was going to be okay!”

“Yeah, but if he wasn’t being an idiot in the first place—”

“Quiet. His headache just got better.” That shut them up. “You’re more than welcome here,” Manuela said, “but don’t aggravate him. Else I’ll kick you all out.”

“Yes, Professor.”

She shook her head, letting out a short laugh. “As long as you understand. Well then, children, I’ll be in my office. Call me if anything happens. And remember: no noise.”

As soon as she left, Ashe turned to Dimitri and stage whispered, “You sure you’re okay, Chief?”

He nodded. This time, it didn’t make him feel like throwing up. “Positive.”

“You should’ve told us you were sick,” Mercedes chastised. “What would have happened if Dedue wasn’t there to find you?”

He shuffled in the bed. “Well,” he muttered, “for starters, I wasn’t planning on fainting.”

“That is besides the point.” She sighed. “Please, we all care about you. Take better care of yourself.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about all those chores you do?” Sylvain chimed in. “We didn’t realize you did them all by yourself. You’ve done a lot for us. We want to do something for you too.”

Everyone nodded. He opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he saw the earnestness in their eyes. It reminded him of himself, how he felt when he worked for the sake of his housemates. So he stared for a moment before saying, “Okay.”

“…Okay?”

“I admit I overworked,” he said, “taking in all those responsibilities at once. I guess I’ve gotten used to doing everything by myself. But you’re right. And I do trust you. As the leader of the Blue Lions, I’ve seen how hardworking and disciplined you all are.”

They looked at each other.

“So does that mean…?” Ingrid asked.

“Yeah. No more pushing myself to the limit. I’ll ask for help.” He cracked a smile. “I’m proud to have you as my friends.”

The solemn atmosphere broke out into exuberance, as they all expressed their relief in different ways. Mostly, through excited chatter and tight hugs. The wind rushed out of his lungs as they gathered in for a group hug.

“H-hey, having said that, I’m still sick.” He tried to speak up, but his words were drowned out by everyone else as they began splitting responsibilities between themselves. It didn’t help that his voice was still weaker than usual. “Can you all settle down a bit? It’s getting noisy. Guys? Guys?”

Omake:

From inside her office, Manuela could hear them as clear as day. Footsteps thundered People cheered. Laughter echoed. Did they forget her warning already? She wouldn’t be surprised if they broke something in the chaos.

Still, listening to them and all their enthusiasm—"rock, paper, scissors for who gets to help tend the stables!“—she shook her head and chuckled. I guess I’ll let it slide this time.

[asks are open!]

Brick, rose, squash, bronze, marigold, feen, olivw, peackock, navy, lapis, coral, snow, frost, ivory, hazel, iron, black, raven, slate, penny, taeny, brown, alabaster, sand, redwood, maroon, rust, leather 🐴🇫🇮

Your love of Dion is the best thing that's happened to me all year

Brick - What are some things you dislike?

Hmm... bugs, bad movies, homophobes, peas, peppers, alcohol, cigar smoke, Hazbin Hotel and not being able to put what's in my mind on paper!

Rose - Would you consider yourself a romantic person?

Ah... A bit... I mean, I don't know if I'm able to perform romantic stuff that well, unless it's, like, self sacrifice, but I do like hand-holding and rose petals and whatnot... And I wouldn't deny a romantic date with a boy that likes me.... Also I yearn

Squash - Do you live in an agricultural setting?  If so, are you a farmer or something of the sort? What kind of crops do you grow?

AH! I used to go a farm when I was little! The farmers kinda adopted me, since I could help out with work. It was like a second family, and I knew that whenever I needed a break from city life I could go there and wind down... We grew a lot of things but I mostly helped out with wheat and rye, and also in the orchards, where the apple and orange trees where! Can't turn down some equine strength when it's offered to you (っ’-‘)╮ =͟͟͞͞🐎ﾌﾞｫﾝ

Bronze - What is your favorite way to warm up when it’s cold 

I lov kotatsu... But, I cannot use one whenever the other team members are around because I don't fit well under them and they make fun of me... Can't help being dumb thicc when I have horse heinds! I also like blankets (and a lot of times I steal everyone's pillows and just pile them up and sleep on them...)

Marigold - What types of flowers are in your setting? Do you have a favorite?

Ah, now that I live in the city I just see whatever government sanctioned greenery there is in parks and whatnot... But I like the random orange trees there are... And back when I lived in the farm I really liked wild clover blossoms!

Fern - Would you enjoy running a flower shop? 

Hmm, I think so! The flowers are very pretty, and I really like the smell! I think bugs and bees would be a big problem for me though...

Olive - What is your Greek personality type? (sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, or melancholic)

Hmm, hang on let me look that up!

*20 minutes and a wrong test later* Sanguine

Peacock - Are you a more flashy person, or do you like to blend in?

I think nature already gave up on making me blend in... I like to be flashy tho! And it's pretty easy now too

Navy - have you ever been on a boat/sailing? does it exist in your world? did you enjoy it? 

I have been on a boat but I was in the sun the whole time and got a bit sunburnt. Also my fur is black, so I overheated... But I guess if I were to be on a more comfortable boat I would go again! The sea is nice, and I like seeing the dolphins!

Lapis - What is your opinion on religion and the afterlife? 

Don't like organized religion, but Christianity really went hard with the Aesthetics! Also Ancient Greek dodecatheism was fun, and so are the stories from Norse Mythology... As for afterlife, I have no thoughts... I just hope it gets better!

Coral - Do you have a strong moral code? What are some moral things that you feel strongly about?

Hmm, my moral code is pretty set on things like human rights and whatnot, but if I recognize someone has more knowledge or experience in a subject, they become easy to move and change, like sand! So if I ever do something bad, please let me know! I will listen!

Snow - Have you ever seen snow? Do you like it? What do you like to do in the snow? 

Hmm, back home I had seen a lot of snow! I moved down south so I only see snow on vacations and whatnot... But snow is awesome, when it's fresh! It kinda freezes my hooves, so I have to wear special shoes, but other than that it's pretty fun to be in! I don't really like snowball fights winter sports, but I do like making snowmen!

Frost - What do you like to wear in cold weather?

Top is a regular skiing jacket. And thick caparison for the rest! I don't get cold that easily, since I can just let my back fur do it's work into he sun, but I do like to be self-reliant! I also have to hear ankle braces if there's thick snow, and I need special shoes for ice and stuff... At least it doesn't snow where I am now!

Ivory - Do you play any musical instruments? If so, which ones and how well? 

I don't play any instruments, but I would like to learn how to play a harp or a flute!

Hazel - What kind of folklore/myths/stories are told in your family/community?

I'll tell you my fave, the Hulder and those ladies with the big boobs, that feed fishes, but it's been a while since I heard the story about them and I can't remember their name at all now 😂 sorry grandpa

Black - What is the darkest thing you’ve ever done? 

Almost stomped some people to death, but I was justified, they were harassing a pride parade!

Raven - Can you fly? If not, do you ever dream about flying? 

I can't fly, but I have been levitated by Beau-san! I like floating and stuff, but I prefer running, it has more impact!

Slate - If you could erase any memory from your life, would you do it? If so, which memory would you chose? 

I would, bc some things are kinda traumatic, and I don't like thinking about them. But they're mostly movies and stuff I shouldn't have seen at the age I'd seen them...

Penny - If you could make a substantial living doing anything, what would you do?

Being a stay-at-home house-husband... And being a pro hero, but I guess I'm already doing that.

Tawny - Cats or Dogs? (or any animal for that matter)

I like both!!! All animals are good, even if some are more awkward than others, or harder to deal with, they're all good and lovable!

Brown- Where do you call home? 

Number1's house, the HQ building and any of my boyfriend's houses

Alabaster - What is the most recognizable thing about you? What are people most likely to notice about you when they first meet you?

..... The fact that I'm a horse. Also the prominent marks on my face and my strength I guess... As for personality and stuff my loud voice, my anxiety and how fast I talk, I guess... That's what I've been told.

Sand - Have you ever been to a beach? If so, what’s your favorite thing to do at the beach? 

Oh, yeah, I love the beach! I like swimming and running around, mostly, but I wouldn't be above making sand castles and stuff!

Redwood - How tall are you? 

A little over 2 meters tall!

Maroon - What are you most passionate about?

My job as a hero, my friends and my boyfriends! Love my boyfriends. OH, and my fans!

Rust - Have you thought about becoming old? Can you become old? Are you scared of being old? What do you think about elders?

Hmm, I don't see anything wrong with being old... I would like to be the reliable old person that I didn't have when I was a kid, that would help out and tell interesting stories and stuff... I do think that elderly people should be respected, but not be kept above their mistakes! It's never too late to learn how to be a better person!

Leather - How “basass” would you say you are?

I'd say pretty badass, like, on a scale of 1-10 probably a solid... 8!

Survey #220

“as long as god in heaven dwell, your soul, your soul shall scream in hell.”

Would people consider you more immature or mature? It depends on the context. Emotionally, I think I'm considerably mature. As far as eligibility to be a proper adult goes, yeah. No. Would people consider you more funny or serious? I personally don't think I'm very funny, but I'm not super serious, either. Are you currently in love with someone? Who is this person? So... I'm quietly pondering over whether or not I'm just biromantic, not bisexual. I genuinely think I'm in love with my girlfriend, I do, but we have so, so little actually sexual experience that I don't know if "bisexual" fits me. I totally adore her romantically, I know that, but maybe sexually, I'm not into her? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because when I picture doing certain "things," I can't really tell what I feel. I don't take that as an "I'm not into it" though, considering I've wound up liking things with a guy I didn't think I would with anyone, something I only discovered by doing it. This whole situation was driving me insane a few days ago to the point I felt sick, but I've calmed myself out of it to where I've accepted I just have to wait and learn, being long-distance. I'm still entirely invested in us and am going to be honest learning about myself. I haven't actually talked to Sara about it and don't want to unless I come to learn this hunch has credibility. Which room in your house are you in? What color are the walls? My bedroom; light puke green, Why God. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Who got you interested in it? I don't really know about my "absolute favorite." It depends on my mood, really. I think maybe watching my favorite YouTubers tops the list, something Jason actually started with PewDiePie; or RPing, which I got into myself thanks to Meerkat Manor. Would the people you know say you have a nice singing voice? Barely anyone ever hears me sing, so idk. I personally feel my voice suits only few songs. Would you say most of your friends are older/younger than you? Ummm, good question. All but two are very close in age range, but most of my friends/closer acquaintances are kinda split around either side. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? Nope. Are you listening to music right now? If so, who’s singing the song? Yeah, I'm listening to Khemmis' cover of "A Conversation With Death." It's the intro song to that new game Man of Medan and is so badass. All the comments are like "came here from so-and-so's LP because this is epic" and same. What is your dream career? What inspired you to pursue this career? Probably meerkat biologist if I could handle the heat and was okay with moving, or paleontologist if I wasn't opposed to heavy travel. I love meerkats and dinosaurs v v much. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? No. What would you say is your favorite holiday? Why did you choose this? Halloween bc spooks and costumes and candy. Does it feel odd being around your friend’s parents? Why or why not? If I'm alone with them and don't know them very well, sure? What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Is there one in your city? Sonic, probably. And no, but in our neighboring city. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Is there one in your city? Olive Garden. See above. Do you ever take pictures with family members around the holidays? Mom pretty much forces it, lol... Have you ever thought you were adopted because of opposing interests? Y'ALL not kidding I legit asked my fucking mom if I was adopted in elementary school bc I thought she hated me one day versus my little sister lmfao. I went through a phase of feeling like she couldn't be "this mean" to her legitimate child. Are you more interested in indoor activities or outdoor things? Hm, that depends on the activities available. Most outdoor things are more fun, though. When is the next time you’ll see someone you’re crushing on? We were just talking a couple days ago about our next visit, actually. If I can financially, I'm probably coming up to see her for her birthday again, as that's when I have a decent break from school. Speaking of which, how many people are you crushing on right now? Lol I mean it's been just shy of two years, a "crush" doesn't cut it. Have you ever played Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo DS? Was it fun? No, actually. I didn't grow up playing Mario games. What exactly is your favorite gaming system? Do you have this system? The PS2. It had a giant graphical leap, contains SOOOOO many goodies, and you can still play PS1 games on it. How often do you talk on the phone? Who do you talk with the most? Very very rarely, pretty much only ever with my mom or dad. I hate talking on the phone. Do you normally do what other people around you want you to do? Depends. What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? I don't have one anymore, but it used to be an orange, plastic jack-o-lantern. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 24... wow. What are your plans to celebrate? Probably just go out to dinner with family. What floor do you live on? I only have one floor. Do you have a balcony? No. What is your favorite fall drink, if you had to pick just one? None. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? I've never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? I'm pretty sure I was in my entire school career... Damn dude, proud. Were you a straight A student in math? HA hell no. I could get a C sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I wasn't, but I know people. Are you a Democrat or Republican, or neither? Neither. Independent. Who would take care of you if you needed surgery? My mom and dad, as far as bills go. Do you think you have an accent? Not really. Sometimes you can hear it, though. Have you been told you have an accent? Only when I was younger. I had a SERIOUS one. My family in NY couldn't even understand me sometimes, lmao. Where do you live (country or state)? North Carolina. If you could start a church, what would it be like? I wouldn't. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? Nah. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Get a goddamn stable job. Do you know what your purpose in life is? Spreading the love and respect of animals and conservation. If you live in an apartment, what is the maintenance man’s name? N/A What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? Hypothetically, if I had/wanted kids, I'd enjoy carving pumpkins with them, obviously taking them trick-or-treating, autumnal crafts would be fun together, and watching Halloween/scary films appropriate to their age would be a nice experience. I'd decorate the house with them. Oh, a hayride would be cool together, I love those. AND DON'T FORGET JUMPING INTO LEAF PILES! I have a lot of ideas for someone who doesn't want to be a mom. Have you ever seen a fox? Yeah. At least one alive, a handful as roadkill. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. What do the trees look like where you live? Pine trees. Pine trees. What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? I really enjoyed the trip to Beaufort to an island of wild horses. The water was rough that day, and goddamn... watching the ocean in its aggression was unbelievable. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? UM, DID ANY KID NOT????? Do you find museums boring or interesting? Very interesting! Gimme a science museum and I'm SOLD. What are three issues you are passionate about? GAY RIGHTS, wildlife and nature conservation, women's rights and the pro-choice argument. What are three countries you have no desire to visit? North Korea, Iraq, and... uh... idk. I guess the Middle East in general. That shit's rough. Do you like your country’s flag? Sure? Stars r dope? Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? NO. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Oh. My. God. When I was on three Klonopin a day (I'm now on just one and don't even take it every day), I literally could not function. There was one day in particular (I was on three very briefly bc of this) where I just slept until evening. I physically could not stay awake. I remember I was in the middle of watching a Game Grumps' Mario playthrough, and I'd only last like, ten minutes before I HAD to lie back down, and I'd fall back asleep in like, a minute. That was one of the most awful days ever, I was miserable. Do you like bath bombs? Sure, they're pretty. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don't actually know any. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? He's not very small, I think he's at about a million and a half subs, but Timmy Timato is so fucking iconic. He is an Actual Mood. I have no interest in what he actually posts; I just watch for him. As well, Johnny Paranormal is cool; he's a fuckin awesome guy and is chill and relaxing to watch. I don't watch him religiously, though. Rarely, actually. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? HAVE U HEARD OF????? THE MARKIPLIER GUY??????? What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? I think it was the Pussycat Dolls, fuck off, don't say shit 2 me "Buttons" is still dope. Do you like Disney movies? Blocked & reported if you don't. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Man idk, I enjoy a lot. I enjoyed The Avengers, and Logan REALLY tugged at my heart. Do you have any credit card debt? I don't have a credit card. Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? No. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? Probably like... two days, lmao. It's not like I have a lot of experience. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you kissed someone? The airport. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? It's fine. Do you struggle with acne? No, not anymore. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? RP is definitely the "strangest." Have you ever fostered an animal? No. Are you the clubbing type? Definitely not. Never been, not interested. Bar goer? No. I don't trust strangers + alcohol, and I'd be really scared of being hit on. Song you can’t stand? I don't think there's a song I've heard that I hate more than "Welcome To The Machine" by Pink Floyd. Well, correction, "Friday" by Rebecca Black. That autotuned to all fuck voice is just... major ew. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Jason is. Well, if he looks the same as last time I saw him, which was in 2017. Juan doesn't look half bad. Aaron's cute. What is unattractive about them? Jason: fucking communication skills. Juan: his reckless streak. Aaron: nothing that I know of, he's a sweetie and on a great path. Your hottest ex’s name starts with the letter what? J. Pick two highlighter colors: Yellow, Pink, Blue, Purple, Orange. Pink and orange. Has anyone ever written on you? Who hasn't been written on by friends with markers as a kid? Have you ever dated a fat person? Yes. Have you ever dated someone with a fine ass body? I mean this with total respect and love towards her: Sara's body is genuinely sexy. Her figure is amazing. Have you ever had any article of clothing tailored? What for? Yeah, for prom, as well as my sister's wedding. Do you welcome people back when they say they have returned? Yes. What are two foods you think taste good with whipped cream? I fucking hate whipped cream. How long would it take you to walk to the nearest fire hydrant? I've never paid attention, actually... Do you own anything that has the words or picture of ‘mustache’? Well my Mark tribute tat has the Iconic pink mustache on it, and the texting screen background on my phone is also a pink mustache collage-y thing lmao. When you see a feather on the ground, do you ever pick it up? Yeah, sometimes. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? On a burger. How would you feel marrying the man you love who has already a son? I don't love a man, and I wouldn't marry anyone with a kid. Have you ever played Roller Coaster Tycoon? What did you think of it? No, but I had SeaWorld Tycoon or whatever it was called. I loved that game. When you are chopping onions, does it really affect your eyes personally? I've never cut an onion myself, but when I'm in the proximity of someone doing it, I feel mild irritation. How long can you hold your breath for? Is there anyone who is better? Idk, I don't feel like testing it. When was the last time you had a pet goldfish? What was its name? I couldn't even try to guess. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Do you enjoy mayonnaise with French fries? Why or why not? Um that sounds disgusting. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? Actually, he warned me that he can and he was nervous about me ever seeing it. I, thank Christ, never witnessed it, though. I would've broken the fuck down, I can't handle angry men. What was the topic discussed in the last meeting you attended? I don't know the last time I went to a "meeting." Honestly, when’s the last time you genuinely liked someone? Now. Are you Team Jacob, Team Edward, or you just don’t care? I've never been into Twilight, but I find Jacob way more attractive. Do you like it when questions are long and make you think? Yes. Have you ever had love at first sight happen to you? No. Do you think Avatar is really all that great? I'm assuming you mean the movie and not TLA? I never saw the full thing, but I would love it. Love or trust? Trust, I think. You can't love someone in a healthy fashion if you don't trust them. What do you think about sexting? Not about that personally. That'd be so awkward. Have you ever done it? Those days where RP mating scenes on YouTube were over private message, timeskipping wasn't a thing... oh boy. It WAS uncomfortable. Would you ever swim with dolphins? Yeah! Have you ever believed a stereotype? Probably at some point. Have you ever tried marijuana? No, though tbh I probably would (but not through smoking it) for anxiety and panic attacks if it was legal in my state. Is there any reason you should be in jail right now? Can you go to jail for illegally downloading, or it is just a fine? Idk. Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? I mean, it was decent. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. That shit was so hard. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, for panic attacks. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Heartbreak. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Yes, but Mom played a larger role. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair. Do you plan outfits? "Not unless it’s a special occasion." <<< Are your parents strict? No. Would you go sky diving? Probably not. I'm afraid of heights, and I'd be really scared the parachute wouldn't deploy. Who sits behind you in your math class? Quite honestly, a bitch. She always has shit to say under her breath. Do you have good vision? No, it's awful. When was the last time you watched a show for people younger than you? Last I was with Sara. We're watching Avatar: The Last Airbender together. Have you ever snuck someone into your house before? No. Is there something your significant other does that bothers you completely? She's competitive and admits to it. A lot, particularly in writing, is a "mine needs to be better" thing. When was the last time you kissed someone on the cheek? When I saw my niece and nephew at my nephew's birthday party. How many best friends do you have? One. Did you ever get bullied as a child or were you the bully? Neither. Would you rather eat grape or strawberry jelly or jam? GRAPE. I hate strawberry jam/jelly. Do your parents ever send you to do their grocery shopping for them? No. Do you know anyone who has a speech impediment? I don't think I do personally. If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? When I was like... 11-12 or so, maybe? Possibly younger? Have you ever had a significant other who hit you? Fuck no. Do you own any exercise machines? No. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? If I need to, sure. School leaves me voicemails sometimes if I miss a call. Do you live in your hometown? No. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? Not very festive, but I mean, I enjoy 'em. Did you/Will you attend college? I'm back in college now!! You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. Listening to music fitting my mood helps me feel related to and not alone. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you watch the news? No. What hooks you to a television show? The most important thing is A GOOD PLOT!!! It needs to be really interesting to me, bc I do NOT get into shows easily. As for funny shows, they need to be fuuuuunny. I don't think I could ever get "hooked" on a show again, though. I just don't watch TV. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Yes. On the morphine occasion, it didn't do jackshit. I don't think they gave me nearly enough. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? The #1 thing that most fits the definition of "skin crawling" to me is seeing a fetus move from outside the stomach, especially the further the mother is along. It's fucking alien-esque and actually makes me scream and panic. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? It can be either. Do you have a dining room in your house? No. Do you know the alphabet in any other languages? Very close to all of German's. I blank and aren't sure on a couple. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever been surfing? No.

“God, just shut up!” ( A random one with Hol Horse and DIO bc yes ).

So confession time, I actually do not ship DioHol (in fact it’s my second notp due to all the sexually abusive depictions), but ironically enough, I like the idea of JHol? Platonically at least… I dunno, I think they just have better, more trustworthy chemistry.

That being said, I love writing Hol Horse in general, so here we go!!

God, just shut up- DIO & Hol Horse (1,200+ words)

(In which charisma doesn’t seem to work on everybody..)

If there’s one thing that DIO excelled at, it was his use of charisma, making so many fall over to his will and overbearing image. His presence made an old hag like Enya fall to the floor, someone who never thought she could feel anything for a long time. Beautiful women such as Midler and Mariah practically threw themselves at DIO, wishing to serve him in any way they could. Two young men were followed by DIO and lured in, as was a blind man who bowed down to him.

One evening though, another Stand user was brought in by Enya herself, someone that had made themselves mildly acquainted through her outcast of a son. This man came was a drifter, someone who partnered up with others for petty crimes and jobs as a living, they say that his Stand was known simply as Emperor, named after the tarot card of the same name. His Stand was practical and simple, a gun with bullets that could be controlled, willing to do just about anything for money.

He seemed to deem himself as quite the ladies man, attempting to flirt his way through Mariah and Midler, both of who seemed to be equally disinterested. DIO would normally have a problem with someone to mooch off of his playthings, the Stand users that had promised to serve him, but DIO instead chose to ignore it so that he could gain Hol Horse’s loyalty in the same way he got everyone else’s, including Vanilla Ice and the butler.

“So, you’re Hol Horse? The user of Emperor?” DIO remained hidden in the darkness, making it impossible for anyone to see his face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Enya had mentioned you a few times regarding interactions with her son, you have gained my curiosity, Hol Horse, and I’m sure that I have gotten yours.” The mercenary took a bow, having a self-satisfied grin on his face.

This man had a cocky aura, one that probably masking his possible cowardice, much like that Steely Dan individual. “Glad to know that my infamy has gained the attention of you, Lord DIO. How can I be of service? Is there someone that you want me to take down? I’ll have you know that my motto is being number two, I’m a second in command sort of guy, a person who follows the leader and won’t take all of the credit.” His voice was rough, fitting of a cowboy that probably smoked a lot of cigarettes, there was even one hanging out of his mouth that was unlit.

“Fascinating,” DIO pretended to be interested. “If you don’t already understand why you’re here, it should be obvious enough. I need to have some people taken care of, the descendants of the body which is now my own.” Reaching for the back of his shoulder, DIO rubbed his fingers against the Joestar birthmark. “The Joestar group, they will be trying to find me, they will want me dead. They must be stopped at any cost, it would be also preferable if they were brought with bodies in tow so I can drain them of their blood, but if it becomes too much of a complication,” he then sat up to loom over Hol Horse, “I can always come to an alternative solution.”

Hol Horse shuddered but didn’t break a sweat. He was plenty confident right now since he wasn’t alone by himself, J. Geil being literally right outside of the room, talking to his mother. If DIO was seriously trying to threaten him over a potentially small screw-up that could happen, then certainly they would be able to stand up to DIO, wouldn’t they? There was nothing to worry about.

“I’ll see what I can do, lugging bodies for a vampire isn’t exactly something I wanna be caught doing. I’m sure Enya can arrange to handle the bodies if we get them—”

“No, I’m certain that you will have the honor of bringing the Joestars to me once they’re finished.” Hol Horse could see DIO’s hair start to move, even though there wasn’t the slightest breeze anywhere inside of the mansion. Was it growing right now? Expanding in fact? It was almost too dark to see, but Hol Horse really didn’t like the look of it. “And I don’t want to see J. Geil do it either, I would much prefer the both of you to bring my prey to me. You’ll come to understand my way soon enough, it’s what you want, isn’t it?”

A lock of hair made its way over to Hol Horse’s face, he immediately drew Emperor and fired at the strand, which had a bud of flesh attached to the ends. Hol Horse didn’t give the bud another look as he plainly stomped on it, an action which caught DIO off guard. No one else was in the room right now, but the gunshot alone was enough to startle the mansion residents.

“So you reject being one with me? You reject my friendship with such confidence?” The vampire was dripping with charisma, yet Hol Horse was unmoved by it, so unlike everyone else. The look in his eyes said that he wanted to deck DIO in the face for what he tried just now, but knew well enough to respect his employer so long as it wasn’t attempted again. “Nearly every other Stand user has accepted being a part of my circle, I just wanted to add a little something so you don’t think about betraying me, and understand me a bit more—”

“God, just shut up.”

DIO’s golden eyes widened in the darkness, his body tensing up. It wasn’t very often that he was told ‘no’ and to be silent, there was only one other individual whoever did such a thing, and he wasn’t here right now. Hol Horse cleared his throat soon after, making Emperor vanish from his hands. “Quit telling me about your little personal harem and circle, I want no part of it. I’m just here to get the job done, I don’t care about anything else, so you can kindly shut your trap.”

Anyone would have been insulted or ran to DIO’s defense, but rather than any of those, the vampire was amused, giving Hol Horse a grin which could faintly be seen through the darkness.

In truth, DIO hated having constantly ‘yes man’ people. Vanilla Ice, Telence, and Enya all bent down to his will without any question, making interactions painfully boring. That priest was the only one to actually argue with DIO, and he was coincidentally also the one who had not been given a flesh bud.

Yes, Hol Horse was quite an interesting person, definitely someone worthy of taking down the Joestars. There was only a small amount of doubt of his success, but otherwise, DIO believed that this man was perfect for the job. Hopefully, Hol Horse would remain as brave and cocky as he did this moment.

“You are dismissed then, good luck to you,” DIO said in a monotone voice. “I suggest accompanying J. Geil in India, no doubt the Joestars will pass through there in their attempt to find me.”

After that, Hol Horse took another bow and left DIO’s domain, met with a furious Enya asking him about the gunshot she had heard.

what are ur thoughts about anna and joelle as characters & their respective relationships with callen? love your blog by the way :)

i mostly think that ncis:la is exceptionally good at writing the core 6 characters and keeping their development on track, but to do so i think they sacrifice their secondary characters at some kind of tv show alter where any characterization sins are forgiven if it works in favour of any of the mains’ development. Anna suffered from this, though not as much as Joelle imo. 

I have nothing against either of them as characters tbh?? I think it’s clear we’re supposed to have felt a deep and ugly disdain for Joelle after The Incident (that was clearly pulled out of the writers’ asses at the last minute bc of the total and blatant lack of foreshadowing and i think i know where the got writers were taking prompts tbh) but honestly? I have always failed to see how her actions were That much different to the teams’, and they’re the heroes of the show. I just... Can’t deal with how the writers played Callen’s (understandable and valid) reaction to that betrayal with exactly Zero levels of introspection from him and the rest of the team. Joelle just thought this was a Regular job, not a screwy one, she was, in effect, doing what they do???  

Like, ur all spies... This is the territory. This annoyed me to the point where I didn’t want Joelle to show up anymore simply because the high horse the team was on was genuinely making me uncomfortable in the insinuation that some of the things they’ve done aren’t like, super messed up in this area as well??? The writer’s unwillingness to address the moral ambiguity of it was just... Confusing to me. Like, remember that time in s1 Callen legit thought he had a son with an actual genuine innocent mark he was sleeping with for a job? 

Wild. 

And before the whole random spy plot, Joelle suffered from not being a character as much as the cookie cutter girlfriend. Was there much to get attached to? No, but on the flip side there was nothing to actually get annoyed over, either, she was just there. 

I’m just kind of..  *shrug emoji* about it all to be honest, i think they missed a chance to tell an actual interesting story about the team when they did the Joelle plot, both when she was an innocent civilian and the perils of being involved with a highly trained spy, and then again when she worked for the CIA and the implications of that kind of job. In the end, the only time i really connected with her character was when she realised she couldn’t go back to her family, it’s the only time they managed to draw real emotion from me with her. 

Though, they also dropped a massive ball there tbh, b/c she did the same thing Nikita did with G and... Nobody bothered to mention it. I mean, her kid still has his dad, but there is a clear parallel there. 

So Many Missed Opportunities. My thoughts on Joelle and Callen are that at every stage of their relationship, the writers dropped the ball. It was a hard relationship to try and write no matter what hat Joelle was wearing, you couldn’t phone those stories in, but they tried, and failed. 

But, on the other hand, G’s relationship with Anna... Was easy. 

I think they both connected on a level that G’s not had with anybody before, really. I mean, how often is G gonna meet somebody else with that much in common with him with how unorthodox his life is??? Their connection was immediate and easy, from the very beginning, it wasn’t trouble in paradise, they had a genuinely peaceful coexistence. There isn’t any ‘wow i have to protect her’ or ‘is she gonna back stab me’ because they get each other in ways not many other people could. Their dads are old buddies, they’re both kids of old soviets hated by the regime, they’re both spies/law enforcement out of a genuine urge to do some good in the world, are both fiercely protective of said fathers no matter how mad they are at any given time etc etc

I feel like the writers didn’t spend an awful lot of time developing them, either, But in this case, I buy it without having it, tbh, they’d be attracted by their similarities and I don’t need a big explanation. 

Anna also is, unlike Joelle, very much her own woman from day one. She’s not Callen’s girlfriend, she’s Anna; law enforcement, half russian, Arkady’s daughter who has a tenuous relationship with Arkady. And it all went So Well for her from her intro in s6-s9 and then... That.

i have not done this but i suspect if i played the ep where she tells Callen to tell the truth next to the one where she gets arrested i’d cry over how poor the continuity is. I kinda did with the gaps between eps tbh. And now i’ve seen that season, i’m not sure At All what the point of it all even was???? like, when did she stop being  pissed??? when did she start deciding to find old man callen??? why did she do so if she was mad at G??? she’s basically bought herself a lifetime as a fugitive when she’d probs have gotten out on good behaviour in a couple of years and i’m supposed to think any of this makes sense??????!!??? 

That’s when they lost me. They could have done that entire plot without the ooc pissiness at G, in fact, it would have made a lot more sense. It was just stupid drama for the sake of drama. And while i frankly still would have side eyed her throwing her life away for G even if they had taken out the stupid drama, i could not have said it didn’t make sense. 

oh well. 

I mean, they used her kinda as a Kensi metaphor with the ‘if i lose my work who am i’ kinda plot, But I don’t have a problem with her killing the guy narratively so them kind of making a point about Kensi possibly quitting with Deeks and who she’d be without the job did not annoy me because it didn’t demean Anna, it was a parallel. In fact, i thought finding out that Anna would legit kill for Arkady an interesting facet of her character considering how tenuous their relationship can be. 

I genuinely Like Anna, she might not be the most fleshed out character ever but she argues with her dad and is annoyed by him so much but loves him enough to kill a guy for him, she wants to be a cop to help people because it’s who she is, and she plays online video games with random people on the internet to the point she stuck electrical’s in G’s home. There is personality there, there’re things to be attached to, unlike in Joelle. 

I don’t think i’m ever gonna be nuts about any of the main characters relationships with anybody Not main character simply because the writers don’t put a Lot of effort in most of the time, but yeah... Joelle was a mess of a situation to begin with and Anna got really fried for plot reasons. 

And i genuinely hope they both settle in Cuba and end up friends, Joelle’s kinda ruthless and Anna’s not but i think as a fugitive Anna could probably use somebody ruthless to watch her back. And Anna’s caring enough and i think Joelle could probably use some uncomplicated kindness, tbh. I’m imagining it, Anna can go back to being her (lets face it, arkady visits, she’s not lost him at least) and Joelle can just get some stability with no back stabbing. 

and then they end up girlfriends b/c this show is still too straight 

and thank u!!!