Take notes Dc. Take. Notes.

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies, Sloppy Seconds Ain't My Style - S1E06

This was one of my favorite episodes! There was so much character development that I didn't mind the lack of musical numbers.

CYNTHIA: Loved watching the Cynthia/Lydia story develop. The realization of their feelings for each other... Watching Cynthia try to pull away from Lydia to suppress what she was feeling was a story that was all too familiar.. You could feel the tension. The scene right before the play in the music room, when they default to their original acting exercise, was the best part of the entire show. When they're saying "your hair is brown" / "my hair is brown" you can see the desire in their eyes... They're saying "Hey, I understand because I feel it too. You're not alone." Transitioning from the hair discussion to the "I'm scared" admission was immaculate. You could see how confused and terrified and vulnerable they felt in that moment and I LOVED how Lydia leaned into it by admitting how scared she was by her feelings... In that moment, we saw a peak of her character that we've never seen before. This wasn't about another theatre production, because she's so confident in her abilities as an actress... This was about her saying "I'll hold your hand and jump off of the cliff with you, even though I'm fearful of the fallout."

JANE: In this ep, there’s so much to Jane’s character. We got to take a deeper dive into Susan and see why she operates the way that she does. I love that Jane didn't exploit that moment of weakness and allowed Susan to see the good in people. I also enjoyed that this moment showed Jane that she doesn't need to he president in order to make a difference at Rydell. Big fan of her realization that she doesn't want to help Buddy out, but she wants to impact change from where she is and only with her girls. In that moment, we see a parallel to her relationship with Richie in the last episode when she refused his jacket because she has her own.

NANCY: Though Nance had a smaller part in this episode, she really used that opportunity to shine. We got to see the amount of care she puts into each of her pieces (just imagine how long it took to make each of the girls their own jacket from scratch.....eeek!) we saw her switch from a more commanding and bossy attitude to that of relying on someone else (Hazel) and submitting herself enough to ask for help on something she's so passionate about...and then crediting Hazel for the vision, despite Nancy creating the designs. We also see how committed she is to the girls when Cynthia runs away. Her first priority was to find her and supporther through whatever was bothering her. This really struck me because Nancy is so proud of her designs, but rather than sticking around to watch her art come to life, she sprinted away to find her girls to go support Cynthia.

OLIVIA: My favorite character for last ofc. I loved seeing how passionate she was about making sure that the election results weren't rigged. She believes in Jane and the Pink Ladies so much and I love watching her fight to keep the group unified... You can tell that she felt so alone before the four of them became friends. She feels like she belongs now and she's so happy when she's around the girls. I hate how Mr. Daniels continues to have such a hold on her... All of the guys at Rydell would die for a chance with her, especially Gil....but I'm still holding out hope for Jane and Olivia. I love Richie but the sparkle in Olivia’s eyes and the smile plastered on her face when Jane is nearby....come on.

GIRL GANG: I also loved the shift in the group dynamic from "We're coming together because we want to change things" to “Hey, we actually really care about each other regardless of whether or not we have a single unifying factor!" The last few shots of the girls at Cynthia's was incredible. It reminded me of the Winnie the Pooh quote about not trying to cheer someone up, but just existing with them as they process everything. Also, I loved the ode to Jan when all of the girls sang along to the ipana song. I'm definitely excited/interested to see how Cynthia and Lydia's relationship will impact the group dynamic. I feel like the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies already have an idea that she isn't attracted to men, well except for Shy Guy lmao, so it won’t be a big deal to the gangs but I hope no one outs her or gives them trouble.

Watching the Cosmos films, my thoughts under the cut.

It's a lot of all caps. And lack of grammar because I gave up at some point.

some important things: wedding scene is after the end credits, so don't miss it!

also, THE CATS LIVE! I REPEAT, THE CATS LIVE!!!!!!

LOL WAS GALAXIA JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING THEM KISS. IS THIS HER WATCHING 90 DAY FIANCE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOTARU CAME TO PICK UP CHIBS I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS

YOU GET THAT NORMAL SCHOOL GIRL LIFE MICHIRU

the cgi is a little egregious in a distracting way

i'm only seven minutes in and i can't handle how cute their every day lives are someone help me

i like the little pink gradient they added to usagi's eyes

I prefer Usagi's original engagement ring. These new sailor crystals look great though.

ARE THE STARLIGHTS NINJA RUNNING THROUGH THE AIRPORT????????

and chibs is just gone bye

OMG LITTLE MOUSE BOTS

OMG MOUSE UHM that was fast. poor girl i wanted to see her do a little bit more, she really is just the cutest

"why haven't you sent me any letters? i'm going to be angry!" YEAH MAMORU, WHY HAVE YOU LET DEATH STOP YOU.

interesting that they used "sailor soldiers" instead of "sailor guardians."

...mina is so great with children looooooooooooooooooool

I FORGOT HOW MANY ZIPPERS THE THREE LIGHTS HAVE

WHO LAYS ON THE GROUND ON TOP OF THE BUILDING LIKE THAT TO WRITE A LETTER. THE GROUND IS DIRTY, USAGI.

"it's my business or not if i have ugly handwriting"

michiru is truly a blessing in this high school setting

MINA-P

TAIKI'S TRANSFORMATION STILL ABSOLUTELY CRACKS ME UP JUST PLANKING IN THE AIR

i really love everything about this galaxia, her voice is really great. also i just love the aesthetic naoko gave her, in general i love the aesthetic in the manga but oh my god is it so hard to draw.

PUBLIC SCHOOL GIRL REI HIJINKS

bahahah rei mad about mina talking about getting a boyfriend JUST DATE ALREADY

oh my god that mid scream cut off of mina and rei was so good and awful

DIANA IN HER BASKET

JUST LEAVING HOTARU BEHIND WITH THE CATS. IS SHE YOUR CONTIGENCY PLAN TO DESTORY THE UNIVERSE

"i only trust girls" yup

seeing hotaru get into her little bubble to go to her moms and i know she isn't going to make it choked me up a bit

HOW DARE YOU HURT DIANA

so far the stars arc works pretty well for a film, not at the half point yet though

KAKYUU IS SHORTER THAN USAGI JUST HOW SMALL IS THIS WOMAN

"trash can't become a star" I LOVE HER

MOVIE 2

IKUKO MY HEART

outer castle bus tour

HOTARU MY DARLING I'M PRETTY SURE YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT IF YOU HAD FIVE MORE SECONDS. I DREW AN ENTIRE COMIC ABOUT IT.

HAHAHA WE BROKE MORE OF MICHIRU MAMA'S PLATES

chibs has a really cute new transformation I'M NOT BITTER HOTARU'S STILL SUCKS

i really felt a big pang when the starlights died, i'm not sure if that's nostalgia talking or not

it was so nice seeing chibs and the quartet in action

FUCKING PUT THE CATS BACK i swear to god if they stay dead in crystal

HAHAHA MUST BE CHIBS DAUGHTER

"i can tell she's not my daughter, she has too much bullshit power like my mom"

oh they were cowards about kakyuu's death GIVE US THE ACTUAL STAB THROUGH THE BACK

getting to the evil sailors part and i think this really solidifies how much this art style doesn't suit the aesthetic of this arc at all. it was pretty apparent with a lot of the shadow galactica villains, but zero sagitarius is such an elegant and foreboding place and this anime shoujo style doesn't translate it well at all. i know i've complained about the art change in crystal a lot, and i do think the movies are miles above the 3rd season and sometimes cosmos looks really fantastic, but yeah i'll stop here before i get way too negative

MAMORU JUST CAPE FLIPS AND RUNS AWAY THE MOST TUXEDO MASK THING EVER

HE DOES IT TWICE ALSDJALS;KDSADA

part of galaxia's backstory here reminds me of the rose bride witch, at least visually with the sword piercings.

LOLOL NOW GALAXIA JUST TURNS AND RUNS I CAN'T

YES THE STAFF BEATING

"neither of us can keep fighting, all the sailor guardians have disappeared" GEE I WONDER WHY THEY DID, GALAXIA.

LOOK AT HOTARU GETTING THAT PRETTY LITTLE SOLO PANEL

just knowing it's keiko's voice teared me up a little

DO YOOU BEEELIIEEEEVEEE IN THE POWER OF LOOOOVE

usagi flying with all the sailor crystals begging for help really spoke to me, it's really so perfect

CHAOS' HAIR IS A BIG NEST OF SNAKES WITH PEARLS AND I'M HERE FOR IT

OH THANK THE FUCKING LORD THAT CATS ARE REBORN I WAS GOING TO BE SO PISSED IF CRYSTAL DIDN'T FIX THIS DOAISDJASP;JDKASOPKDAS 'DKASD

SERIOUSLY THE CATS LIVE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FINALLY SHE GETS TO MARRY EVERYONE THE END

the following is an adventure i went on

i have been twisting HR's arm for a while to get me a gift card i was owed for selling the most lottery in the division. it was supposed to be mailed to me at the start of december, but they opted to just use the store credit card to buy me a gift card.

i chose a gamestop gift card

i then used said gamestop gift card to buy a PS5 controller, pikmin 4, and, importantly, a copy of ffvii remake intergrade because i had the PS4 version

they didn't have intergrade at the physical gamestop so i said ok i'll buy it online. the girl at gamestop, for whatever reason, said i should not buy it on the gamestop website because she only saw one copy company-wide and "if someone's order processes before yours, you won't get it."

i said "ok" and figured, my boyfriend wanted to buy me something for christmas but because he's in sweden and i'm in the US, he couldn't buy me anything directly and had to send me paypal money. my paypal is currently defunct because i owe money due to Stupid Shenanigans(tm) that i won't bore you with.

as i get home i say, wait a minute, the girl at gamestop is full of shit. i went and purchased intergrade anyway with the remainder of the gift card.

i then google around for how to transfer a PS4 save to a PS5 save for the same game and incidentally find out you do not need to BUY intergrade, you can just stick the PS4 version into the PS5 and it goes "ah yes, here you are, intergrade" and all you have to do is then buy the DLC, which is what i was really after anyway

i tell my boyfriend oh never mind about buying me intergrade on the PC, oh and i bought pikmin 4 with the gift card so you don't have to worry about buying me that either.

"you are IMPOSSIBLE to buy things for!" says adam. "ehehehe," says skiba.

i then set about putting PS4 remake into the PS5. it has a disc read error. i swap it for the data disc. it has a disc read error. i clean both discs. disc read error.

google "ps5 disc reader error"

"are you sure you're not putting the disc in upside down?"

you've got to be kidding me. i flip the disc so that the art faces DOWN and voila, it reads.

install intergrade on PS5.

shove USB stick into PS4 and copy the save data. stick USB stick into PS5. "no data."

google "transfer ps4 save to ps5"

"saves are account locked."

sigh.

dm old roommate "hey can i have your psn login pls"

gets back to me today

"yeah the email is [redacted] and the password is Temporary1"

mfw i could have just tried GUESSING that

he's a bro though i love the guy so that's ok

desk is currently a complete spaghetti mess of a PS3 on the desk, the PS5 on the floor, and the PS4 balanced precariously atop the PS5, with a splitter and capture card and 3 HDMI cables and two USB cables wound together so i can put the display on my PC using elgato.

we gamin'

Howdy!

I recently saw a reply you made in a post about feeding unfinished fic to large language models like ChatGPT. In there, you said that free-to-use AIs are "free to use because the company who makes them is actively profiting and taking aspects like phrasing, style, etc." I've heard of variants of this idea but could never figure out where it came from. Can you tell me more about the origin of that?

Well I'll start off by saying I'm not an expert in the field, and that AI technology is actually relatively "new" in terms of very recent rapid developments and it's in this stage where the future is generally uncertain. However, as early as now, people are already using AI for commercial works. There was a movie announced where all backgrounds were made with an AI, and a manga that was made near entirely with AI. The rhythm game Cytus has recently drawn ire from fans and even its own creators and designers for using AI generated art instead of the very stylistic art it used to use. The moral and economical issue here would lie in that they still charge the same amount for the game and it's already a game that is criticized by some for its high price point compared to other rhythm games. So not only are they earning more, in a way are putting less effort into the game. Those who purchase it would essentially be paying more for less and the money would not be going to the artists because their styles will have been copied but they themselves wouldn't be credited or paid.

Now for a more direct example, I've also heard reports that publishing houses are being spammed with hundreds of purely AI generated work. This of course directly negatively affects writers trying to get published if only by uhhh what's the word,,,, adding a bunch to the pool (sorry English is my third language).

I myself do writing for companies overseas by editing and writing the info on their websites. As someone from a third world country, this contributes to a good chunk of my income as the local economy is not great. Due to the recent popularity of bots like chat GPT, the market had dropped by a LOT and while at first it was my primary source of income, its not really sustainable anymore.

Now these examples don't all use language based examples but they do show that the creation of AI art forms so far is mostly just harming artists and from the examples such as Cytus and just,, life in general I suppose, as "young" as commercial AI is, we can likely assume that corporations don't intend on making their AI for purely wholistic reasons. The art AI midjourney was even found using stolen art after saying that they don't. AI writing, I believe, is going to be more finicky than AI art and as such, I expect theyd want to do a lot more fine tuning before using it to write whole textbooks while art bots are already being used on book covers and movies, only because you don't need to fact check art.

Sure people can see something is wrong, but with the sheer amount if it used, it's rapidly adapting to fix the anatomical issues in its art. Written work I think would need to be double checked a lot and by a human before they release one making bold claims such as "You can't buy food but you can buy paint thinner from home depot instead" (an actual AI result generated by Quora when I was trying to find a place to eat that Google tool as the top rated answer on the website and proudly presented to me). But that doesn't mean it won't eventually go as far as to take someone's job entirely. It's already starting to take mine.

For a clear cut example, sorry to say I can't name one myself, but you can look at the way AI is already being used this early on and how it's already being used to substitute and replace some artists and writers and how apparently even fanfiction writers who do their work out of love, and look just a few years in the future based on the patterns that have been happening and the way corporations will always value profits over the heart of what they make, and for most the picture of what will happen is a very grim one for art.

The "Origin" of it differs from person to person. Some artists have seen their art put into AIs and their styles mimicked (art which will be very difficult to claim the person who generated it shouldn't be allowed to use for commercial purposes). Some writers who write more boring industry stuff that is very easy to mimic are getting their jobs taken away from them. Others without firsthand experience can only look at examples or patterns and infer a probable and large scale outcome similar to that of Cytus. All in all, to me the backlash and opinion that AI is copying peoples works is more of a social movement with no clear cut origin but a lot of evidence that points towards AI generated writing and imagery being a bastardization of the work of hundreds even if it's just a lot harder to see when it comes to a non visual form of art like writing.

Hmm I think if you want a clearer answer or example, the best personal one I can give you is an article I edited which was so poorly written I sent it back and they had a different writer do it. When it got back to me it was better, but extremely familiar. It repeated phrases from the OG article and had the same problems I had noted (strange wording, odd vocabulary, etc) so I asked them if they had wrote it. Apparently they just put it into chat GPT and told the bot to rewrite it without changing too much, so the bot mimicked phrases and words but changed the flow by adding conjunctions or paraphrasing, but to me, who has read the first persons work several hundred times, I still recognized the style, if I can call it that. The person profiting wasn't Chat GPT, but if the state of AI art is anything to go by, in a few years it could very well be.

(sorry about the long reply and if anything is messy or hard to understand. I am not an organized thinker.)

Of All the People - Ch. 10

hehe. i love a-lister dialogue <3 written, shockingly, by @ectolemonades and @attackradish and myself for invisobang, with chapter 1 art by @/toasty-ghosti :3

whole fic summary: After a stupid dare puts Dash Baxter in the lab at Fentonworks during the middle of a ghost fight, he finds himself a little more spectral than usual. Apparently Danny Fenton’s gone through the same thing (someone has got to call OSHA on these guys eventually), and who could better help Dash than his hero? His lame, stubborn hero?

warnings: Nothing for this chapter! In others, existential crises, and Spectra.

words: 1846

AO3 link

first chapter

previous chapter

next chapter

===

"GUYS."

Dash's arrival to the hallway table where the A-listers sat before school was frantic.

"I need to tell you something." His voice was hushed, posture hunched, eyes darting conspiratorially.

Paulina matched his tone but kept to more subtle body language. Looking like you were hiding something was basically an open invitation for other students to listen in. It was the agreed-upon social signal that something was gossip and not just information. And this was looking like something that could not become gossip. "Is this about ghosts?"

"No. Well, I guess. Kinda. It's…"

He bit his lip for a few seconds. His friends were patient.

"I think I have a crush on Fenton."

While Dash's face wrinkled up, Paulina's stretched into a grin. She let herself lean forward. While this wasn't gossip she wanted going public, it was gossip, and she was going to respect that.

"Fenton?" asked Star. "Are you— I mean, not that that's bad or anything! But are you sure? He was pretty cool when he was showing us those Yetis and everything but being cool doesn't keep him from being a dweeb. A cool dweeb is still a dweeb."

"Give him some credit!" piped up Paulina. "A cool dweeb is still cool. I would say Fenton's coolness is enough to override his dweebiness. Because of the ghost fighting."

"I mean yeah but the emotional shift after years of—"

"Is this really news?"

Everyone looked at Kwan.

"I mean, now that we know he's… y'know. I thought we had accepted that Dash's whole thing with Phantom was some kind of a crush. So shouldn't that be a given?"

"That—! Was that a crush?" Dash was beet red by now.

"You know what?" Star shifted in her seat to look at Dash like a lawyer might look at a potential client or a wolf might look at a piece of meat. "Suddenness or un-suddenness aside, we're talking about your current feelings. Tell us what's got you flustered around Danny."

"What? Do you just want blackmail material or something? I didn't come here for an interview!"

"No no," said Paulina, "this is important information in our journey of understanding ghosts."

Kwan nodded seriously.

"So is it the patient understanding he shows when you train?"

"Or the way, when he needs to, he picks you up like you weigh nothing?" added Star, helpfully.

"Or how he always looks like he's defying gravity when he laughs?" added Kwan, doubly so.

"Or—"

"As a matter of fact it would be all of those things." Dash's hissing wasn't entirely human, but his friends didn't seem to care as they broke out into a chorus of combined "aww"s and laughter. His glare was just as ineffective.

"Well, I'll bet he feels the same way about you."

"Yeah! Any ghost boy would be lucky to have a catch like you."

Dash hoped that was true.

===

"Guyyys…"

Danny's moan was muffled from his spot laying on a branch of the tree where he and his friends spent their mornings.

"Aww, I know that tone. Is this about ghosts?" asked Sam teasingly. 

"Kinda." He slid off the branch and landed, clumsy but silent, on the grass. "I think Dash has a crush on me."

Tucker finally looked up from his PDA. "As in, Dash Baxter? The very Dash Baxter who, on our Zone trip the other day, asked Frostbite if the Ghost Zone had, quote, 'barcades but for dead people'? That Dash?"

"Yes!"

"Can I politely ask where you got the idea that Dash, a literal high school quarterback who I'm pretty sure was yanked out of his home universe of a shitty 80s coming-of-age movie and stuck in ours, has a crush on 'freaky-geeky-Fenton'?"

Danny frowned at Sam. "Well, you didn't have to say it like that."

"Sorry. Dashing, charming Fenton? Who I will remind you is a boy?"

"That's better."

Tucker patted his shoulder.

"And just because he's a living cliché doesn't mean he's straight. Look at Tucker 'The Womanizer' Foley over here. Just because he's never landed a date doesn't mean he's ever wanted one."

"Hey, man, there's a difference between trying to get a date to see what the hype's all about and being a literal bully. If Dash has an ounce of queer in him, he's not just burying it, he's giving it cement shoes and sending it swimming with the fishes off a Brooklyn pier."

"Look, however he feels about his sexuality, I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me and I have no idea how to feel about that!"

"Once again. Source?"

Danny huffed and pulled at some grass by his legs. "I can sorta taste it. I think."

"Oh shit!" Tucker perked up. "Is this that emotional feeding thing we've been talking about? — I know," he cut in before Danny could interrupt, "I know. Not feeding."

"Not on purpose at least." Sam received another frown.

"Yeah… it's kinda been there for a while. Sometimes he'll look at me when I'm doing something and then there'll just be… warm. And shocked, and bright like sour candy, and hesitant. And sometimes his heartbeat picks up when that happens. It tastes kinda like admiration and excitement, so I figured… it couldn't really be much else. I don't know."

"Mm." Tucker thought for a moment. "Well, do you like him back?"

Danny sputtered. His friends looked at him with anticipation.

"I— huh? Not that I know! Fuck, the guy's been bullying me for years and now I have to keep him out of trouble while he's looking at me like I have all the answers when I barely have my own ghost stuff figured out! Why would I have a crush on him?"

"Because he's determined enough to keep trying to help," said Sam.

"And he's kept your secret with the utmost devotion."

"And he rocks that varsity jacket-skinny jeans combo."

"And he keeps a closet full of teddy bears because he loves them so much."

"And—"

"Shut up! Oh my God. This is gonna be just like when I told you guys about my crush on Spike in middle school. I'm not just gonna, what, develop feelings for my origin story high school bully because we're training together now or whatever."

Tucker turned to Sam with a wholly serious face. "And they were half-ghosts."

"Oh my God they were half-ghosts."

"Fuck you guys. I'm gonna go fail a pre-calc quiz."

Danny's friends laughed as they got to their feet and walked with him.

…Dash did make that varsity jacket look good.

===

Paulina spent class patiently waiting for free study time. With the test coming up, she knew today’s lecture would be short before they were granted an opportunity to study quietly in small groups.

It was as if the stars had aligned for her. Statistics was the only class her respective friend group had without Dash, and the only class she had with Sam and Tucker that didn’t have Danny. She had been itching to talk to Sam – something she never thought she’d experience, but their groups had grown close recently, given the circumstances. Finally, finally, after a brief review of the formulae they’d be applying on the test, they were given study guides for the rest of the period.

Paulina wrote a note to Sam, waiting until their teacher was distracted to casually adjust her hair and drop the folded slip of paper on the desk behind her.

‘Dash has a crush on Danny.’ The note was straightforward. They knew they had to keep their communications as brief and private as possible for the time being; if the A-Listers were suddenly best friends with the people they’d relentlessly bullied, someone might stick their nose where it didn’t belong. It would be a gradual process.

She absently scribbled on her worksheet, waiting for some type of cue that Sam acknowledged this information. She felt Sam tap her shoulder, and smoothly reached up to take the paper she was passed.

‘We know.’

Paulina couldn’t contain her eyeroll when she read it. She felt Kwan’s gaze on her, expecting an update, and shook her head at him. This told her nothing. How did they know? Did Danny even remotely feel the same?

How was she supposed to plan the most epic love story of their generation if they gave her nothing to work with?

Paulina sighed and turned around, putting on her best act of reluctance in case anyone was paying attention. “Sam, as much as it pains me to ask this, do you and Tucker want to work in a group? We could use some extra help on the study guide.”

“What’s in it for us?” Sam quirked an eyebrow at her. Kwan and Star had tuned in now, looking between the pair expectantly, and Tucker leaned forward in his seat to join in.

“I’ll… invite you to my next party?” Paulina tried.

“Sam, let’s do it. I never get to go to Paulina’s parties.” Tucker had picked up on the act.

“Fine,” Sam feigned irritation. They shifted their desks closer to each other.

“So?” Star whispered.

“Yeah, I’m really not sure what’s actually going on here yet. Is something wrong?” Tucker asked.

“Dash has a crush on Danny,” Paulina repeated the contents of her note in a low voice. “I want to do something about it.”

“More specifically, she wants to set them up,” Kwan added.

“How do we play into this? They’re their own people, can’t they figure it out on their own?”

“Don’t you see, Sam?" Tucker was grinning like he had awaited this day his whole life. "We always hang out in a group. Pretty much the only time they’re alone together is sometimes when they’re training. We have to get them to spend time together outside of that.”

Sam seemed at a loss. “I get what you’re saying here, but how can we make them hang out? It’s not exactly subtle to just tell them to meet up somewhere together.”

“With all due respect, Sam, I did not expect you to be so dense about this,” Star said.

“We have to make plans with them and then ditch them.” Paulina explained the process just like it was one of their Stats principles.

“Back out last minute so they’re obligated to go through with the plans, but it would only be them,” supplied Kwan.

“We could force them to pair up in class, too. Partner up with each other instead, when we get the chance,” Tucker suggested.

Sam finally gave a slow nod. “Okay. In case it wasn’t obvious, we’re pretty sure Danny’s reciprocating his feelings, so… I’m in.”

Paulina clapped a hand over her grinning mouth to contain the excited squeal that wanted to escape. Tucker looked equally as excited, and Kwan and Star seemed pretty satisfied with their plan.

The bell signaling the end of class rang, and students began hurriedly gathering their belongings to move onto their next class. Paulina stuck her hand out at Sam, who looked at it for a moment before shaking it, officially solidifying the agreement.

Alright I'll say it.

I'm glad people are coming back around on Clowns. Really I am.

I understand why people would find them unsettling and uncanny even without the Horror Clown boom (Which I'm not opposed to horror clowns, (actual horror clowns, not the fuckin pieces of trash who run around with kitchen knives committing what amounts to attempted assault) I have a place in my heart for them too. They have a purpose and aesthetic. But really, I do understand why they would freak out a good portion of people, thats okay.

However. I'm glad more and more people are rediscovering it for the colorful, joyous, and friendly art form it is. I'm glad more people are realizing how creative and cool clowns and jesters and whatnot can look and be. They were often masters of several acts, some physical, some verbal, some technical.

Clowns and all the archetypes therein are really neat actually and I'm tired of pretending they're not. I'm tired of pretending the history of clowns isn't deeply deeply sad, because it is! They were, for the most part without going back to ancient times, a group of people who just wanted to make others happy and laugh and to entertain. They took it upon themselves to embody one if not multiple aspects of Humor, literally characterizing 'Committing To The Bit'.

They were a really really cool subgroup of entertainers who didn't get near enough credit for the efforts and lengths they went to. And then people got scared and stopped trying to empathize, people were and still are fucking malicious to clowns. Like some of the most uncalled for and downright mean shit happens to perfectly sweet, bright and cheery clowns doing something as innocuous as giving balloons to kids at a fair and acting a little cartoonish in hopes of making literal babies laugh a bit.

I'm genuinely glad people are coming around on clowns. Because they come in a lot of really really cool flavors and genres and they work really fucking hard just to put up with some inane fucking shit.

Bonus: Look up Rodeo Clowns.

Just do it.

Tell me they're stupid, tell me they aren't cool as fuck. Do you know how insanely good those guys have to be? How good at being an entertaining clown AND just as good a fucking rider, roper, and runner? Their whole job is to get in an enclosed space with an animal that could rip their insides out with a horn or stomp their skull to paste so the big tough cowboys can run away. Their job is to entertain YOU while also not fucking dying and making sure someone else doesn't die either.

Clowns are multi-talented, multi-faceted, and really cool and they didn't deserve such a fraught history.

Request 👏 Vincent Sinclair teaching y/n how to make a wax figure, like teaching them how to work the pipes an how to smooth out the wax on the body...please an thank you this has been in my head for years 😫

YES OMG PLEASE🥺👌🙏 I love this idea so much omg I'm taking it and running with it.😂 Combining them because of how similar they are; I hope neither of you mind!🥰 @sweet-thistle

I'm tagging @aggravatetheaxe in this because a few weeks ago, we discussed how much work Vincent gets done in a few hours and I've listed that out in the first bullet point. To me, not telling people where the inspiration came from feels like stealing ideas which aren't mine so I hope you don't mind the shout-out for credit! (If you do, then let me know and I'll remove the tag hasdfghjkl🥺)

TW; reader is as bad as the Sinclairs (ACTIVE PARTICIPATION, sadistic, enjoys it), canon typical violence and darkness, a nameless gender neutral victim gets put in the Death Chair but they don't die (they're as good as though) so consider this a warning for (future) murder, THE VICTIM IS DEHUMANISED BY BOTH VINCENT AND THE READER (they're referred to as 'the victim', the 'canvas' etc.), swearing in the narrative & dialogue, mentions of old burn injuries and scars (specifically in relation to Vincent accidentally hurting himself due to the nature of his work).

GENDER NEUTRAL, NO CODED LANGUAGE, Y/N AND "YOU" USED

Word count: 2, 986 (am I incapable of writing short things?😩😂)

You had been asking Vincent for months now to teach you how to make a wax figure. It wasn't just because you had a genuine curiosity about how he worked the pipes, about how he turned an actual person into wax (and how the fuck he managed to incapacitate someone, coat them in wax, smooth it all down, reapply any facial hair, thread a wig or fix their natural hair (you had noticed a head cover the last time you had been down in the basement), re-dress them and stitch up the seams after he had sliced them off, transport them to where he wanted them to be, and then get back down in the basement before anyone saw him in just a few hours), but also because you had an interest in wax sculpting as an art medium.

Vincent had been against it from the very start. His work was incredibly important to him, as was his momma's legacy, and he didn't want anyone or anything getting in the way while he worked. That included you, even and especially with how much he loved you and how much you loved him. Vincent didn't want to be interrupted, but to a lesser degree it was also because he didn't want you to watch him and for you to thereafter be afraid of him and what he was capable of.

He was brutal, ruthless, clinical and uncaring. He delighted in his art, revelled in the pained noises his canvases made as he bathed them alive in hot wax. Vincent was fully aware of what he was doing but he cared not for who he was doing it to, a subtle but important distinction. A canvas was a canvas, art was art, and he didn't want even his muse to get in his way.

After about a month of asking every time a visitor came into town and of being told, in no uncertain terms, that it just wasn't going to happen, even Bo stepped in and told you to lay off about it - you weren't going to be allowed to watch, no matter how many times you asked or how many different ways you phrased the same question.

It was the Sinclairs' house and with both of them saying no, you were shit out of luck.

Until one time came around and you managed to incapacitate a victim before Vincent could. They had been snooping around the upstairs and opening doors to rooms they had no business going in, and you had tripped them up, knocked them out with a handy vase left lying around (you were pretty sure it was one of the ones Bo absolutely hated, so you felt no qualms in smashing it against a stranger's head) and quite literally sat on top of them until Vincent had come out of one of the trap doors.

Vincent's frozen look was one of bemusement. You rarely succeeded in knocking someone out, and you hadn't ever just sat on them to wait for him. He realised in that moment that you hadn't been bugging him to watch just to annoy him - you wanted to know him, you wanted to learn his craft, you wanted to see what he did, and Vincent fell in love with you in that moment all over again, his heart swelling in his chest. Why hadn't he realised this before? Your persistence was so much like his own and Vincent saw the potential in you; everything crashed down on him all at once. How could he say no when you had that wicked gleam in your eye? It was also a bit soft, so in love with him were you. It never failed to send his mind spinning, just as it was now.

Your voice ripped him out of his silent reverie. "Can I watch this time? I've already done the first bit for you." You grinned, and the two of you had had a debate with only your eyes, and finally Vincent's shoulders had shrugged lightly and he pointed at the victim, pointed at you, and held one finger to his masked mouth - one sign of fear or a scream from you, and you were having your rights to watch fully revoked and this would never come up again.

With a white hot flash of panic and desperation so strong you almost did want to scream, you had nodded readily, and Vincent had approached you and the victim swiftly, with you barely having time to stand up from your position on their back before Vincent was dragging the victim - no, his canvas - through the house to get to the basement. If Bo had seen you following after Vincent in that moment, he would have compared you to Jonesy following Lester when she knew that there was food waiting for her.

"Why do you drag them, Vinny? I know you're strong enough to lift them."

Vincent stared at you and then shrugged again before he pointedly lifted up the victim and slung them down on the table like they were a sack of potatoes. Then, he pulled himself to his full height and pointed at the twin bed, where Jonesy was lounging. You followed his finger and then looked at him again.

"Seriously?" Your widening smile made Vincent's mask shift in place - he was smiling too, despite or perhaps in spite of his earlier harshness when lying down the rules with you - and you sat down next to Jonesy and allowed her to climb all over your lap, effectively trapping you in place. Truth be told, there was nowhere else you would rather be.

Once you were situated, with Vincent having the courtesy to wait for you to get comfortable, though itching was he to get started on his passion, he began, and he was mesmerising. Truly a beauty in his brutality, his passion and in his work. You fell in love with him all over again as you watched him take some large metal scissors and begin to cut away the victim's clothing with harsh rhythmic snips. Every movement he made was measured, every step he took was carefully considered. Every tilt of his head was one of mocking sympathy if the victim groaned in pain (you winced with them when Vincent jabbed the needle in, though you knew the worst, and the best, was yet to come), or of careful consideration when he found an injury which needed to be cleaned or stitched up.

"He's so beautiful," You murmured to Jonesy. You didn't want to disturb Vincent, though the way his hand hesitated as he reached for the small pot of hot wax so he could give the victim an eyebrow shave, told you that he had heard you. He never really reacted to your compliments, though you knew that the next time he hugged you, his grip would be just a little tighter. It was his way of saying that he had heard you, and thank you.

With the canvas washed in hot water, dried off, shaved and mostly naked (all underwear was kept on), it was time for them to be placed in the Death Chair, as you liked to call it (though never would you admit such to Vincent; you weren't sure how he would react to it beyond his typical blank stare. You had trouble reading it when he had his mask on). Vincent carefully loaded them into the chair and arranged the body as he wanted it to be, with their eyes wide open and darting about the place, totally paralysed and unable even to scream. All they could manage was grunts, groans and other such noises. You were beginning to see why Vincent enjoyed it as much as he did.

Vincent went up to the large vat of boiling wax suspended at the fireplace and stirred it around, checking that it was all up to temperature and ready to be used. As he did so, he glanced over at you, his dark hair swinging with every movement of his head, and raised one hand to crook his finger at you - come here. You eased Jonesy's head off your lap and stroked her until she settled back into her sleep. Vincent witnessed the tender moment with unapologetic apathy; when he was working, he was wholly detached from anything else. He was ruthless in the truest of ways. He would think back on this moment later on and it would melt his heart, but right now, he was only slightly impatient for you to join him.

When you finally did, though, the smile on your face, oh... it knocked the apathy right out of Vincent and he remembered why you were in there with him. You wanted to learn and he was suddenly, though cautiously, excited to show you. You hadn't shown any fear yet, only curiosity and reverence for him even with what he had been doing, and you had aided him, too. You had defended him and, by extension, his home and his brothers, and Vincent's entire demeanour changed in almost an instant, just as unpredictable as Bo was he.

"How hot is the wax?" You reached out to hold your hand over the steam gently curling over the rapid bubbling wax, the same way you would check if boiling water in a pan was hot enough to be used to cook pasta, but Vincent's hand shot out and grabbed your wrist as he emitted a small noise which you knew to be one of worry. With his other hand, Vincent rolled up the sleeve of the arm outstretched and revealed a small nasty looking burn on his forearm. It was mostly healed, and you thought back to a time a few weeks ago when he had been especially careful with the way he moved, though he hadn't made any inclination of having been hurt. You also noticed that he was wearing thick gloves, and as you watched, he held one finger up to represent the same number and then tapped his arm once - clearly, the wax had splashed up. You smiled wryly. "Hot enough, then."

Vincent nodded and you frowned, pulling his arm towards you and rolling up the sleeve again. You bent and pressed a kiss to the healing burn and you heard him suck in a breath. It wasn't one which suggested pain, only surprise, so you kissed the area again and then pulled his sleeve down for him, making sure the glove covered all the edges. "You should have told me you got hurt."

He shrugged, which meant that he was saying something along the lines of, 'why bother? It was already done and telling you wouldn't have changed that.'

You couldn't fault his logic, really, though you still wished he had told you, so you could have taken care of him. Any excuse to smother him in love was one you would take advantage of. He deserved it. You moved to examine behind the pot, wondering where the pipes were connected as you tried to assemble the puzzle for yourself. Oh, but it was so intricately arranged. Vincent, not wanting you so close to it, put his hands on your waist and pulled you back so that your back was flush against his chest, and he shook his head fiercely, his dark locks spilling over your shoulder as he took several large strides back with you in his strong inescapable hold. You were closer to the metal table which the victim had just been on than you were the vat of wax.

With your attention solely on him, Vincent pointed to the floor beneath the vat of wax, and traced in the air where the pipes were in the walls. You noticed that there were holes in the walls further along where other pipes continued the journey, leading to a small row of handles, levels and knobs. Then, Vincent stepped away from you and left your back feeling cold with the ghost of his touch as he pulled one of the levers and began to twist some of the knobs, causing hot wax to begin spurting out of rusted and repurposed shower heads. He looked at you as if to say, 'ready?' and you nodded, a look of curiosity and wonder on your face as the victim began to groan. You knew they would be screaming if they were able to move anything more than their eyes, and a part of you wished you could hear them properly.

Vincent's eye took in all of you and his forearm tingled where you had pressed kisses, lying small but oh so meaningful traces of love over the violent mark of hurt from where he had been burned with wax. His heart bloomed in your chest and he felt the overwhelming urge to kiss you. He couldn't deny himself this, so he made another noise, this time a 'mmf', to get your attention, and then he moved one hand up to his hairline and moved it down through the air - close your eyes.

You grinned, knowing this routine well, for he did it multiple times a day, and shut your eyes tight. There was the sound of shuffling and the quiet noise of a wax mask being set down on the side and then two large wax encrusted hands seized your face between them and lips, malformed on one side, claimed yours in a kiss so hot that you forgot your own name. Lips pecked once, twice, thrice, and then a fourth time caused you to gasp and so Vincent could deepen the kiss, pulling you flush against him as the heat between you, the heat of the room and everything else combined into one of the most memorable and intense moments of your life. When he pulled away, the both of you were breathless, but you kept your eyes shut until you felt the two fingered tap on your shoulder telling you that you could open them.

The two of you lay on the bed spending time together with Jonesy until the wax had set, cooled and the moaning, mostly dead canvas was ready to be sculpted to perfection. Vincent sat on his usual stool with his leg spread wide enough for you to be able to sit between them comfortably on the stool, but you shook your head at him and put one hand on his knee, lightly nudging. He huffed in amusement and closed his legs, which allowed you to sit on his lap (much better and comfier than the stool). His arms encircled you as he picked up a double ended metal tool and began to scrape excess wax away from the part of the body right in front of him. With confident movements, he swept away with his bare hand where the tool had just been. Wax drifted to the floor like snow... or was it ash, technically? Next came a small flask with a flammable material on the inside to act as a long term lighter and a small wide flat tool. Making sure you were paying attention by squeezing his arms against yours, he heated up the metal and you heard a small hissing as the wax melted, letting Vincent smooth it out with that same tool. Then, a sponge in water was used to rub away the finer details, so that Vincent could smooth it all out to perfection.

You were almost hypnotised by his slow, sure and confident movements. Oh, but he was a true artist, and one who was so dedicated to his work. You couldn't get comfortable by melting against him because Vincent needed to concentrate - and you knew that if it came down to it, he wasn't above slinging you over his shoulder and dumping you out in the foyer of the house of wax if he felt that you were interrupting him too many times and for insignificant things (which, when he was working, was anything other than a life or death emergency).

Instead, you allowed yourself to be pulled in to the quiet scraping of metal on wax, of the sizzling of wax under flame, of the light brushing of a sponge and the tinkling of water as Vincent showed you the ropes of his art. Fuck, but he was so beautiful. You tipped your head back as Vincent paused, noticing your distraction, and you whispered to him pressing a kiss to his waxed cheek. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you, Vinny."

Vincent froze and then put his tools down, wrapping his arms tightly around you and nuzzling his masked face into the warm crook of your neck. You knew he would be lacing kisses along the skin there if he wasn't wearing his mask, and it seemed as though the universe aligned for the both of you in that moment, because Vincent shifted his weight, removed his mask and set it very deliberately in front of you, trusting you not to turn around to look at him without feeling the need to ask. It warmed your heart and you smiled, tilting back into his kisses and touches but not turning around. You kept your eyes on the sculpture, which was emitting noise every now and then (though you were sure they would succumb to their injuries soon enough; they never lasted more than a few days after being waxed), and allowed Vincent to show his genuine love and appreciation for you, his muse.

The next time you asked him if you could watch with something he was doing, no matter what it was, he would say yes the first time, because no matter what he showed you, no matter what he exposed you to, you always enjoyed it and met him half way. You were his muse, he was your artist, and together had you both found complete love, acceptance and trust in the other person.

Just my Type

Pairing: Karma Akabane x Slightly oblivious! Male reader

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Narrator's P.O.V

"Alright class sit down! I have a very exciting announcement to make!" Koro-sensei said after everyone stopped firing Anti-koro bullets at him.

"We have a new classmate joining us today! Come in new kid!" Koro-sensei said excitedly while everyone else started whispering about either how they're behaviour would be, how good they were at assassinating or why they got transferred into their class.

The door slid open, making everyone go quiet, and a male with [hair coloured] hair came in the room. He was walking towards Koro-sensei and he kept his head down, seemingly trying to avoid eye contact with everyone which was true. He stopped walking when he reached Koro-sensei he lifted his head up and turned to face the class with his hand in her pocket.

"Please introduce yourself to everyone!"

He didn't say anything, instead he lifted his head up, letting everyone see his [eye colour] eyes and looked around the classroom before speaking.

"[M/n]... My names [L/n] [M/n]... It's a pleasure to meet you... I hope we get along with each other..."

"Good! I'm Koro-sensei and I'll be you're homeroom teacher! I hope you can kill me before graduation! Please take you're seat at the back!"

The male, now known as [M/n], nodded his head before walking towards the back. While making his way towards his seat, he "tripped" making Koro-sensei rush to catch him but before he hit the ground he placed the palm of his hands on the ground and swung his right leg up, where he taped a Anti-koro knife onto the bottom of his shoe before he came to school, and managed to slash two of Koro-sensei's tentacles. Koro-sensei jumped back at that while [M/n] landed in a crouching position before standing back up. He started staring at Koro-sensei who was staring right back at him. They just stared at each other while the class were looking at the new transefer student with disbelief. The class looked at them back and forth before Koro-sensei spoke up with his tentacle regrowing.

"Impressive! You might actually kill me before graduation! Such a good strategy!"

"Thank you Koro-sensei... When you have an out of control speedster as a younger brother... You need to think ahead or else alot of things in the house will be destroyed..." [M/n] said before sitting down at his desk which happend to be placed right next to a bright red tomato head, also known as Karma Akabane.

Karma was staring at him with a wide smirk on his face.

'Attractive, smart and good at assassination... Just my type!'

Ohhhh... If [M/n] knew what he just signed up for... He wouldn't have pulled that stunt in the first place.

-

[M/n]'s P.O.V

Everyone in class 3-E was nice. I just wished they get more credit from the school but then again... I don't want them to be mindless slave that only want good grades. One thing though, ever since i transferred Karma-kun has not stop bugging me. He's literally glued to my side. Wherever i go, he's always there with me. Now, i don't mind him doing that. I'm grateful because he wants to deal with my sorry arse. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that he keeps making flirty comments towards me but i didn't think to much of it and got used to it after a while.

"Hey Cutie-chan! Wait up!"

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I just kept walking, knowing that he was fast and could catch up. Once he caught up with me, he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Looking cute as always Cutie-chan~" Karma said in a flirty tone with a grin on his face.

"Thanks Karma-kun" i said before looking at the ground, hoping that he wouldn't say anything else because me and Yuma, my speedster little brother, had an anime marathon yesterday and we stayed up until 2 in the morning.

I think he noticed how tired i was because he kept quite and started to run his fingers through my hair which was quite relaxing if i do say so myself. We continued walking to class in silence.

-Timeskip to Lunch-

I was eating lunch with my new group of friends which consists of Nagisa (who i, at first thought was a female in disguise), Karma (of course he's here) , Tomohito and Kaeda.

(Author: Did i get it right because i keep forgetting how many people are in Nagisa's friend group)

"Hey [M/n]-kun... I've been meaning to ask you something?" Nagisa said.

"Sure... What is it Nagisa-kun?"

"How come you're in class 3-E if you're smart?"

"Nagisa-kun's right! You're always not paying attention in class and you still get the awnsers right when either Koro-sensei, Karasuma-sensei or B*tch-sensei asks you to awnser a question" Tomohito said now looking at me, waiting for an answer

The other follow suite and were looking at me expectantly, Karma pretending not to care about what I was going to say. I chuckled slightly while internally cooing at them because they were acting like cute little puppies.

"I punched a few students and a teacher. The teacher was by accident though"

It took them a few minutes for them to comprehend what they had just heard before they suddenly shouted excluding Karma who was smirking at me.

"YOU DID WHAT!?!"

After they got over their shock, they started bombarding me with questions on why i did it.

"Because they were acting like b*tches by talking sh*t about you guys so i took the liberty to punch them across the face and the teacher startled me by putting their hand on my shoulder so i accidentally punched them thinking that they were trying to hurt me and the rest was history. Honestly, I'm glad i got transferred here because i don't think I'll be able to stand being there for another minute. Besides... I think i like it better here with you guys" i said with a smile on my face before i was tackled in a hug by Tomohito, Kaeda and Nagisa which suprised me alot considering he was normally very calm.

They were crying tears of joy making me panic, thinking i said something wrong. Unbeknownst to me, Karma was watching us with a fond smile on his face instead of his usual smirk.

-

I was waiting for Karma outside of our class building because he said he wanted to tell me something. After a few minutes, i saw him walking up to me making my heart beat faster and i started sweat slightly for no apparent reason. He stopped right in front of me with one of his hand behind his back. I could tell he was nervous because he was shifting on his legs.

"You said wanted to talk to me about something Karma-kun?"

"Ye-yeah... Uhm..."

I looked at him slightly bewildered because in the weeks that i have known him, he was outgoing, confident and cocky. I was about to ask if he was alright before he pulled out a [favourite flower] flower crown from behind his back and handing it to me.

"Uhm... I made you this... I overhead when you were talking with Kaeda that you always wanted a [favourite flower] flower crown but never had a chance to make it and i thought it would be nice to give you one..."

I wanted to make a snarky comment but i decided against in and put the flower crown on my head while smiling.

(This is what you look like wearing it and can we just appreciate how adorable Midoriya looks with a flower crown!! Also art is not mine so credits to the original artist)

"Thanks Karma-kun... I love it..."

"I also have something else for you"

"What is i-"

I was caught off by a pair of lips connecting themselves onto mine, specifically Karma's lips. I tensed up slightly because i have no idea what to do because I've never kissed someone before! This is my first time kissing someone. I heard Karma chuckle slightly before pulling back.

"For someone attractive you clearly have no experience before... But don't worry! I will show you how relationships works if you agree to be my boyfriend" Karma said with his signature smirk back on his face.

I was in a daze slightly making me miss the fact that Karma's smirk faltered a bit.

"Is that a yes or no" ha said making me snap out of my daze.

I didn't trust my voice so i frantically nodded my head before hugging Karma and burying my face in his chest to hide my blush making him chuckle before wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my hair because i was slightly shorter than him. We stayed there in silence before we were interrupted by a squeal from nearby. We looked at where the squeal came from and saw Nagisa, Tomohito, Kaeda and Koro-sensei watching us from the bushes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?!"

They started running for it while Karma chased them making me laugh.

'I didn't even realise it until now that I like Karma-kun. I must be more oblivious than I thought' i thought while smiling fondly at the thought that someone like Karma would ever want someone like me but I'm glad he did because he's just my type.

~The End~

Not Just a Monster

Warning: lots of blood, Violence, gore, voices

1: Monster Troubles

Min Soo-Nico P.O.V

Standing in front of the shattered glass mirror I held on to both ends of the bathroom sink. As my nose was gushing blood staining my face it getting all in my lips.

I didn't dare look up at my reflection to be scared of what I would see. I could hear its voice inside my head, I wanted it out" Come on Soo-Nico, this isn't so bad just let go." The monster told me, as I heard its low chuckle.

It sent a cold chill down my spine.

" No, leave me the hell alone!"  I shouted out loud, not caring because there was no one here or anywhere as a matter of fact.

" Why there all gone, it was your fault after all wasn't it Soo-Nico?"  It spoke again to me reminding me of what I accidentally did.

" It wasn't my fault I didn't mean it!" I cried out, as tears fell making my cheeks feel moist.

" That's not what they thought!"  I then heard a 'tsk tsk' noise like it was scolding me. " you can forget all about them so you don't have to suffer. Anymore let me in."

I felt my chest puff out as my breathing became unsteady. " What do you know about family? You have none your just a hallucination!" I spit gritting my teeth.

" Maybe but I'll be real soon, the desire is too tempting to resist."  Those were the monster's last words that were imprinted in my mind.

"The desire was too tempting to resist."

I have to keep it in I have to stay in control I told myself sighing, Finally able to see my reflection all that was left was blood.

Turning on the water, I splashed my face rubbing it all off, spitting it all out leaving nothing. If only they were here maybe this wouldn't be so bad to endure?

I vividly remember their faces contoured in pain as they screamed. I watched them die, a gruesome death but I just stood there in a daze not doing anything.

Swallowing back my tears and a loud sob that wanted to escape my lips I walked out of the bathroom stepping into the lobby before it could happen.

I was going to turn into one of those things sometime soon an ugly creature that roamed the earth. I'm trying to stay in control for as long as I can but I don't know why?

Maybe it's because I'm wishing so hard to survive this and continue to remember them. They don't deserve to be forgotten for my mistake.

I made my way to the elevator pressing the button that said open. Before Stepping in I took out my weapon from my belt raising it high in the air ready for an attack.

The metal doors open revealing nothing. I let out a sigh of relief lowering my weapon, walking in I hit the top floor button.  I was going to go to the roof to scout out the area from above.

I needed to make a run since I'm low on supplies. And I wasn't going to sneak into any rooms in this building to find anything because I wasn't going to risk it being killed.

They're mostly empty anyway because it's a low-rated motel building.  I watch the numbers on the top corner of the doors count up to the top as it reached the 15th floor which was the roof.

Holding my weapon up again, I knew this wouldn't kill the monsters but it would distract them long enough for me to get away. That's the thing I hate about these things they don't die no matter how many times I slice, stab, or shoot nothing works.

At least that I know of? But I try to stay clear and never let them see me. Because if they did its game over. This isn't a disease it's a curse that we humans plagued on ourselves it's kinda like the seven deadly sins if you ask me.

The doors finally opened as I felt the rush of hot air hit my cheeks. I sucked in a breath being still because there's no telling what will be up here even though I've been up hearing a couple of times these monsters can come in any form, shape, or size so I had to be ready.

I walked out searching my surroundings trying to find anything out of the ordinary. Finding nothing, I relaxed going over to the edge, and sat down but not so far where I can fall off.

Putting my knife in my belt sheath, I grabbed my pair of binoculars and my field Journal along with my pencil. I had sketched out all the monsters I had seen and wrote down their strengths and weaknesses.

Most importantly where they stay at so I make sure not to go there or cross paths with them on my runs. This is why I mostly go at night so they won't see me. 

Flipping through the pages the images of the drawing Disturbed me a little. Even so, I was impressed with how detailed they turned out.

If shit didn't hit the fan I could have went to college to be an Art Major? Well, I guess that dream is over so I'm going to have to use it for this for now.

I frowned peering over the city with my binoculars in hand seeing the creatures climb the different buildings, some jumping on cars ripping the doors from the hinges dragging human belongings out.

One had a body of a human with a long extendable neck that had a huge eyeball attached to the top of it. The eyeball was appearing in front of windows staring inside them. That was the green roof apartment building. I started to sketch it out it being new to my notebook.

I figure the only way it could harm you is if it's a long body wrapped around you like a python and crush you to death if provoked. I wrote it down as it could be the only form of attack other than the human body it inhabited but not so much.

That was my routine going to sleep, eating, keeping hidden from monsters, trying to contain myself from turning into one of them, coming up here and looking over the city, and doing some new pages in my Field Guide.

My routine didn't change, and that's how I liked it. But I knew it wouldn't last for long so I prepared myself for the worst or at least trying to.

After a while of looking out at the city, it was time I had to go out on my run. Seeing I ate my last pack of kimchi noodles a day ago and my stomach was growling in hunger.

Getting up I had stuffed all my belongings in my bag hurrying to the elevator but stopped seeing what was in front of me. Its back was facing me thank God but I knew which monster it was.

It was the one that was tall with a slim figure that had its lower jaw and throat open up down to its chest. With a long like tongue that moved in different directions detecting ways to find its victim the suction cup on the end of it opened and closed.

Leaving a trail of its saliva and blood but I was pretty sure it could have been someones else's. Slowly getting on my hands and knees trying not to make a sound I took out my knife and crawled my way over to one of the air units and hide behind it.

Holding my weapon close to my chest I felt my heart in the pit of my stomach. Fear consumed me I hope and prayed that it didn't look or get a glimpse of me.

Just as my mind thought I was good its tongue shot out through the metal-air unit.  Making me scream, I jumped out of the way with no choice but to go. It knew I was here.

Going back on my hands and knees I scrambled to get away but then felt its slimy tongue-like thing wrap around my legs dragging me away towards it.

I shook my head I wasn't going to end like this. I searched for my knife I had dropped on the ground, I tried to grab it having my fingers so close to the tip of the blade.

But it was no use when I had gotten jerked up. My body swaying from side to side. I felt like I was going to puke but nothing would come up except water.

I knew my face was turning red I felt all of my blood rush to my head. As The Monster Tounge slammed me down. Hearing my bones crunched as it made contact with the concrete.

I sucked in a breath, not able to scream. My vision began to blur this was how I was going to die I thought feeling being lifted back up and slammed down again.

This time it released my legs, I laid there not able to cry because I couldn't feel any pain at all. Maybe it was because of my adrenaline pumping?

I slowly opened my eyes seeing the monster walk towards me. I turned my head not wanting to look by the time it gets here. I hope I am gone so I don't have to watch it stab me and suck all my insides up.

I cringed at the thought, this has to be one of the worst ways to die. I would still be awake feeling it. I had to do something I just couldn't lay here?

But then I saw something that gave me a sliver of hope. I had an idea it was a stupid idea but if nothing else could kill this monster then I'm perfectly sure this will do the job!

•••

I don’t own the characters, story line or plot all the credits goes to the creators of this masterpiece Sweey home. Carnby Kim/ Youngchan Hwang

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 2

Zero and @eternalfarnham are Looseleaf and Saelhen du Fishercrown, a mothfolk animist and a half-elf conwoman. A botched heist forces Saelhen to keep up her fake identity and embark on a quest to places unknown, with Looseleaf to keep a watchful compound eye on her. This time, they prepare to set out for the jungle city of Thunderbrush.

[Campaign log]

It's less than a week after the incident with the pit under Yoshimimoto Plaza. Looseleaf returns to school with Saelhen in tow, and Looseleaf's roommate Oyobi spends some time training them up in basic monster self-defense- the two of them are now level 2! Saelhen gains a Cunning Action, and Looseleaf embarks on the Path of the Mutable Spirit. (There's no combat this session, so more on that later.)

In spending some time with Looseleaf's roommate, Saelhen picks up on... certain nuances.

looseleaf: what you know about your roommate is that she is very friendly and outgoing. the reason she's barely home most of the time is that she's always out partying or fighting or otherwise living it up on campus, and she's pretty well-known and popular amongst the student body. she's technically Martial Arts but takes a few Natural Arts classes, including your archaeology class. she wants to be an adventurer and join the Deathseekers' Guild, and she's taking multiple periods of Severe Zoology to learn to fight monsters. she thinks you in particular are adorable and has probably invited you to various social gatherings. she seems kind of spacey and unreliable, though, and doesn't seem to take you seriously.

saelhen, what you know about looseleaf's roommate is that she a freak nobody else seems to pick up on this, since there's not a lot of other elves at Blacksky, but you can tell from the way she wears her clothes and how she interacts with strangers to the uninformed observer, her fashion sense is sort of rugged and sporty and normal to an elf, her usual outfits are the equivalent of going around dressed in torn booty shorts, a spiked choker, and an ahegao t-shirt she is very obviously making a statement, and that statement is "i can do whatever i want, and if you have a problem with that you can [insert grossly offensive euphemism here]" her super-smiley friendly attitude is clearly part of this- she is breaking every single rule in the elf book, going right for the friendship throat in every social interaction and ignoring every single nicety that's supposed to precede friendly contact she acts a little different around you- like, she expects you to be in on the joke she's playing on everyone around her. she'll say something seemingly innocuous that's a actually a horrendous boundary violation in Kanzentokai, and then look at you with an expectant smile, to see if you appreciated the hilarious prank she just pulled. being around her is like being in the studio audience for a cringe comedy sitcom

Why are we learning so much about Oyobi? Well, partially because I can't help but overthink every single bit character, but also for reasons that'll become clear shortly.

After a few days, Saelhen and Looseleaf are invited to the Provost's office, up at the top of Blacksky Tower. (Ominous sort of place, for a faculty building- hewn out of a single chunk of sparkling black stone, oldest building on campus.) They are not invited to sit- the office contains no chairs.

Provost Hamori Los has good news for them! The people she's had secretly monitoring Saelhen for the past few days- did she forget to mention that?- have determined, by triangulation, that the arrow on Saelhen's bracer is currently pointing in the direction of Thunderbrush, deep in the giant-spider-infested jungle. So that where they'll be going, on a fun field trip!

Looseleaf could not be happier about this. Or less happy. She's really got precisely the amount of unhappiness that she's obligated to feel about giant spiders, being a giant moth.

Luckily, they won't have to trek through the jungle- Hamori has arranged for transportation via the ferry at the town of Cauterdale, which should allow them to bypass a treacherous trek into the depths of the Remoline Rainforest. They'll each be provided 100gp as funding for this academic enterprise- and Headmaster Goodcrest of Thunderbrush Metropolitan University has agreed to provide lodging for them on arrival. Everything is handled for them- so there shouldn't be any problems!

There is one more thing, though- all the different schools want in on this trip, so one school doesn't get all the credit. They're required to bring along a representative from the School of Arcane Arts and the School of Martial Arts, on top of Looseleaf from Natural Arts. And on top of... the representative from the School of Restricted Arts.

This dude is named Vayen, and he's not much for conversation. Or explaining what he's even doing here. Or doing anything besides skulking a careful distance away from the party, staring and listening. What does the School of Restricted Arts even study, again?

Anyway, Looseleaf has someone in mind from Martial Arts, so she leads the party to the School of Arcane Arts to do some recruiting! After being chewed out by Two-Brains for trying to post notices outside the official student notice board, she puts up her ad:

It's not long before she gets a bite!

Orluthe Chokorov is a cleric-in-training, under Diamode, the Goddess of Family. He's been enrolled in Arcane Arts at the insistence of his family... but he seems to think he's a "fake", and is desperate to go somewhere, anywhere, as long as it means he passes his classes without having to actually... be able to do whatever it is he's taking classes in. He says he can fight, though- in fact, he's eager to fight! He once beat Bud Chestplate, did you know?

There are perhaps less delinquent candidates they could go with, but there's something nice about a party member with secrets Saelhen could use as blackmail.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...rest assured that I shall be the soul of discretion. As will Looseleaf." "Though I fear that deception of this sort does not come easily to me..." Looseleaf: "Noeru, if he doesn't want to get into it, he doesn't have to- oh my god."

Having recruited Orluthe, the party heads back to Looseleaf's dorm to ask Oyobi about the Martial Arts students- maybe she has some idea as to who would make a good candidate for the trip!

(This isn't me foisting her on the players, though I did suggest it- after the party of two squishies got wiped in the first encounter, I offered them the chance to put together two NPCs who they'd get to control in combat. Their character sheets were more or less created by the players, and I matched their mechanical requirements to NPCs. We may end up having multiple characters per PC, later- this is sort of a trial run.)

With a cleric(?) and a ranger on the team, plus whatever Vayen is that he won't tell them, they're feeling ready to hit the road- right after a shopping trip.

Saelhen buys...

1x bag of 1000 ball bearings

1x traveler's clothes

1x hooded lantern

15x doses of insect repellent salve (much to Looseleaf's great offense)

2x uses of sealing wax

1x tinderbox

fuck it, 4x more bags of 1000 ball bearings

Zero: 'what are you going to do with five thousand ball bearings' 'when the time comes, i'll know'

Looseleaf buys...

1x pint of oil

1x bag of 1000 ball bearings also

5x healer's kits, to distribute to the party

1x pouch of various plant seeds

1x map

Notably absent is any food, since they have Oyobi in their party- she's a ranger with the Goodberry spell. (I've reflavored it to just mean she's good at foraging and always has rations on hand, because holy crap, Goodberry rules-as-written is totally worldbreaking- why would farms exist?)

During their shopping trip, Saelhen manages to get Oyobi alone, without the rest of the party. Oyobi's shtick has been fun, for her, as someone with very little regard for elven rules of politeness, but... it's still a little much. She asks Oyobi to tone it down.

Oyobi Yamatake: "I mean, I thought you had to no-sell it to keep up the fake noble act- I didn't think it was actually getting you!" "That's priceless, oh my god." "What's there to take a 'break' from, anyway? What's wrong with just living?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Primarily, the fact that I really need not to twitch in front of the Provost's silent murder goon." Saelhen jerks a thumb over her shoulder, then belatedly checks to make sure that Vayen is not in fact literally right behind her. Benedict I. (GM): Make a Perception roll? Saelhen du Fishercrown: aw, hell, he definitely is, isn't he

She rolls a 13, and no one in particular rolls a 17. So, everything is fine. They keep their voices down, anyway.

Oyobi Yamatake: "I mean, is it really a problem? Can you really not keep a straight face?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "I mean, I can." Saelhen sweeps a hand over her face and is the picture of serenity. "Why should the lady Noeru de la Surplus concern herself with small lapses such as these?" "Surely someone shall find it in their hearts to forgive all trespasses." Oyobi Yamatake: She snorts. "Okay, I get your point." "But really, don't you think it's weirder for an elven noblewoman not to react?" "You don't think he thinks it's suspicious that you take it all in stride?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "The character is admittedly kind of a freak. I'm making allowances. I mean, this is fun and all, but if no one sees through the bit at all and I'm stuck in it long-term, which it seems like I am, it's like..." "Just being back in Kanzentokai, except worse, because no one is making me." "And drow catch a lot of crap anyway. They don't need me to teach them that elves can be assholes." Oyobi Yamatake: She frowns. "You can't make me try to keep up with the rules, y'know. I'm not going to put up with that garbage ever again." "But I can tone it down with the..." "Y'know, the stuff I'm going out of my way to do, if that helps." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "The wink-and-nudge, yeah. That would help." Oyobi Yamatake: She sighs. She seems a little put out by all this, but pretty quickly puts her happy face back on.

Meanwhile, Looseleaf and Orluthe seem to have lost track of Vayen. It doesn't take them long to find out where he went (well, after Looseleaf rolls a nat 1 on investigation and accidentally pisses off an old lady she mistook for Vayen). Turns out... he's hiding behind a statue of Ccorde, spying on Saelhen and Oyobi.

Looseleaf doesn't buy his crappy excuses, but also... she isn't altogether opposed to the concept of spying on "Lady Noeru de la Surplus", who really ought to have someone keeping an eye on her. So, she just hands him a medical kit- a kit she happens to have used her animist class feature Soul Link on, so she knows where it is at all times. (She's done the same to the bracer.)

Now, with the shopping done, it's time to hit the road! They have a couple options: go on foot, or requisition some giraffes.

(In this world, they domesticated giraffes instead of horses. Why? Because it's a fantasy world and why not?)

The city's main giraffe rental is run by the Ecumene of Understanding, based out of the Temple of Andra. You can rent giraffes for free, as long as you're willing to serve as a courier for the Ecumene- their convoluted legal system requires them to send mail between cities frequently, and they've only got so many clerics on hand. So, anyone wanting to travel the roads can receive a delivery quest from the Ecumene, and rent mounts for free in exchange!

They meet with the Bishop of Understanding of Oyashio, Sarat Aerens.

Aerens has a simple request for them: in addition to visiting Thunderbrush's Temple of Andra with a mail delivery, they're to bring back a report from said temple on the whereabouts of the Siren's Arraignment, a ship that departed from Oyashio and never arrived at its next destination, Snowhold. There's suspicion that the Siren's Arraignment never departed from its supposed origin of Thunderbrush to begin with, either- so the Ecumene put some clerics on the job to investigate, and the party's job is just to relay their message.

With that, they're given giraffe passes, and directed down to the stables, where they find the stablehand, Updraft, having some difficulties.

Benedict I. (GM):There's no one at the pickup window, but there's a sparrow aarakocra just behind, trying to get a giraffe several times her height to get up and out of the damn water trough. Updraft: "...not a bath, ye stubborn git!" "Ye drink from that, lackbrains!" "Y'really want t'be tastin' yer arse?" Looseleaf: OH I CAN HELP WITH THIS FINALLY, A PLACE WHERE I CAN APPLY MY ADVANTAGE ON ANIMAL HANDLING

Looseleaf uses her Soul Read ability to tune in to the giraffe's feelings and recent history, and discovers that someone fed it a hot pepper and it's in, um, anal distress.

Orluthe volunteers to do some healing to the giraffe, with his Lay On Hands ability. Is... that a cleric thing? Do clerics do that? Probably. In this world, clerics perform magic by inviting their god directly into their mind to borrow their brainpower and work miracles directly, and it sure looks like he does that when he does his healing. He channels a god, for sure!

Benedict I. (GM): As he touches the giraffe, you see his body begin to glow, and his facial features are overlaid with another face. "...A giraffe?" "A waste, I suppose, but... perhaps it'll win us some favor." The voice he speaks in sounds more feminine, somehow.

Some religion checks reveal that this doesn't seem quite right for a cleric of Diamode, the goddess of Family. But hey, healing's healing, right?

With that, they're able to get their giraffes no problem- and next time, they'll be on the road to Thunderbrush!

Breakfasts in a broken home.

A/N; Cuz I’ve got a major crush on older men. This was originally written as a Jeffrey Dean Morgan × Reader thing but halfway through I changed my mind to my very neglected baby Chris Evans of whom I never write anything. So here is.

Summary; How much can a broken marriage hold when there is nothing left to hold on to? You can try to ignore it, you can try to run from it. But the truth will always catch up to you.

Warnings: Sensitive topics such as depression, malnutrition and divorce.

••••••○

Reader PoV.

Waking up was hard, the air felt chilly even when the sun was already high up in the sky. A soft sigh escaped me as I turn around, half expecting my husband to be lay sleeping by my side. Half expecting him to be on the other side of the country, working.

Not surprisingly enough I find the second one to be the truth. Neither confusion nor disappointment drowned me anymore, now it felt more like a huge wave of empty crashed inside me. Just last night he had gone to sleep on this bed, craddling me in his arms, even after our heated fight. I closed my eyes, and without warning a tear escapes me. I knew what I was getting into when I married him, I knew he'd always be trapped in tons of work and have important things to take care of all the time. It was just sad that I wasn't one of those things anymore.

I could not gather the strength to get out of bed. I simply couldn’t. Not today. Not without my Chris.

Someone slowly knocked on the door. I was quick to wipe the tears from my eyes, hoping anyone would come through the door but my son.

“Come in” A skinny girl pushes the door open and enters the room head down. I was never a fan of having maids, but Chris insisted he wanted to give me the best care whenever he was away. And after a while of what would have been very lonely weeks at a time, I came to appreciate their company.

“Joan” I acknowledge the girl just a few years younger than me and with a baby boy near my owns age. She carried a tray in her hands and much to my dismay I sat up and instructed her to leave it on the night stand. She did so and gave me a small but bright smile.

“Mrs Evans, the kids asked earlier if they could go to the town’s annual fair that's taking place in a few hours. Of course Matteo wished to come ask you himself but I told him you were still asleep“ her brown eyes scan me, as if trying to decide what my reaction is going to be.

“I don’t see why not.” I try to give her a smile “Thanks Joan, you may take them yourself. I'll give you some money for the boys. Buy icecream, cotton candy or whatever they want and bring them back for dinner, all right?”

She nodded and walked out of the room with a smile. Then her head popped at the door again. “I will get them ready now and I'll tell Mateo to come say hi before he leaves.” She trailed off, seemingly unsure of her next words “He has not seen you out of bed in days Y/n.”

My eyebrows rise at that, and she closes the door behind her. Can't be mad when she's telling the truth, but the reprimand isn't exactly appreciated.

Taking one look to my breakfast I sigh, I didn’t feel much like eating today. But with Joan's words pounding in my head, I knew I needed some strength. If not for me for my son. But before anything else I reached for my phone to send out a single text.

: Where did you go?

As I awaited a response I slowly got out of bed and heade to the bathroom between dizzy steps, trying to recall the last time I had more than a granola bar and chocolate to eat. Not being surprised by the fact that I didn’t even remember. While brushing my teeth I managed to avoid a glance at the person on the mirror. Not wishing to see her swollen cheeks, or the dark circles under her eyes or her mistreated skin. After a layer of particularly pink lotion to my face and a cold water rinse I felt a tad more awake, trying not to sprint inside the bedroom at the first ring of my phone. No, instead I took my time drying my face and putting some handcream on. Finally heading out of the bathroom and straight torwards the phone.

Chris♡: They called me in to retake some scenes. Will be home by night.

Of course. The phone found itself being dropped back in the bed rather harshly. Like we didn’t have a marriage emergency going on.

I almost chuckle, marriage emergency… what kind of selfish bitch was living within me. It was his work, mostly what gave me and my son the spectacular roof over our heads and brought food on the table since I pretty much quit my job. I shouldn’t expect it to be less important. It’s not like his family was at stake here.

Suddenly shutting my senses to my thoughts I attempt to shake them off my head. But I can’t. All I do is contradict myself, all there is is a never ending inner fight with myself and it was making me lost. I had a son to look after. I needed to be more supportive of my husband. Of myself when it came to that. But I felt mentally and physically exhausted. And it needed to stop. Start with your breath...

When I consider that I have collected myself enough to pick at my breakfast and turn around there is an expectant little figure by the door. And I feel the wind knocked out of my stomach.

I gave him a small smile. “Hey baby” he quickly runs up to me and my body crouches on instinct, lifting him from the floor and squeezing him into my arms. I breath in the scent of his blonde waves. For a moment, all of my inner fight had dissipated. All of the struggle forgotten for a second and there is a smile on my lips. A true smile.

“Good afternoon momma” he wraps his short arms around my neck. My nose itches and for a second I think I may cry.

“oh I love you baby” I reply, sitting him on the bed. The pain on my lower back not going unnoticed as I do so, but I have mastered the art of acting and sit next to my son.

“Adrian is still getting ready momma, can we watch tv?” he looks up at me, baby blue eyes sparkling, just like his father’s do. "Mhmm" is all I get out. Could my own kid look less like me? It's as if Chris made him solo and I simply carried and gave birth to his offspring that had nothing to do with me.... maybe the nose.

We sat back on the bed. Matteo watching a cartoon, and me trying to eat my food like a little girl being watched eat, almost obligated. With a sigh I take a spoonful of oatmeal to my mouth. It wasn’t bad really, warm and creamy. I eat half of the plate and share a cookie with my son. We both lean back on the bed, Matteo with his small body against my side. I took a second to enjoy it but it didn't last. Joan knocked on the half open door, her son by the hand. "We are ready to go!"

Matteo smiled widely and jumped off the bed, sprinting towards them but stopping in his tracks and heading back to me. I giggled as he left a loud kiss on my cheek and then ran again to his friend. I instruct Joan where to find some money and she smiles, thankful. When their steos are out of earshot I turn the tv off and fill the bathtub with hot water. Deciding to make myself useful or something on this day.

It had been sometime since I'd last taken a nice bath. It was really cold outside so normally a quick shower would suffice, and I'm sure it was more than a day ago since the last one. Yes, I should be ashamed, but I didn't care too much. It's not like I was doing anything too exciting inside these many, many walls.

••••○

Answering the 14th call of the hour a hand runs through my hair as I sit down on the small bed of the trailer.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" There's a tone of worry that I recognize.

My head starts spinning with possible answers, but I shake my thoughts away. "I'm fine, it's just Y/n."

"Oh, is she doing okay?"

"Not really." there's a pause as he gives me time to get my thoughts together "She isn't getting out of bed. She barely eats, she doesn't spend time with our son... I feel like it's my fault, because I'm always away and I've neglected her so."

"Hey I don't think it's that, she knows you need to be away Chris, I'm sure she understands that even if it's hard. And she can take care of herself."

"Yes I know she understands, but, just last night we had a fight. It was the first time I'd been home for weeks and she fights with me."

"You guys have a son that's 3, just couse she understands I don't think it's any easier on her, so you gotta give her some credit."

"I'm worried that she doesn't pay attention to him, what if he thinks it's because of him? I don't know how she might treat him when I'm not there."

"Chris! you know better than anyone else how much she loves Matteo. I couldn't possibly think of her as much as putting her hands on him, much less being mean."

"I know... I just worry, and all kinds of things just come up in my mind."

"Well you need to home more man, if you don't even know how things go in your house maybe it's time you quit."

"What? Scott I signed a contract, I can't just" my back hits the bed with a loud creak and I shut my eyes.

"Break it, I'm not saying it's forever. But you both have a lot of money. It could probably sustain you guys for a lot more years. Your wife needs you brother, and so does your son."

"I can't just..."

"Chris this is your freaking family!"

"I know dammit I KNOW!" Inevitably hot tears fill my eyes and I have to wipe them with the back of my hand.

"What are you so afraid of?" Scott asks and it makes tears to well up again.

A shocked sob came out with the next words "That she's gonna want to leave."

"Chris, Y/n loves you more than a human being can love. You can go and fix your marriage now, or you can keep working until the amazing woman that sits at your home sinks into a bottomless depression that drowns her and your son with her."

My brother's words hit me. I knew it was getting bad, but I was too scared to deal. It was easier being away and pretending I had a happy marriage at home waiting for me every time. But reality was creeping in more and more, I noticed that yesterday.

"What did you guys fight about yesterday?"

"Uh.., my drinking."

"Chris... you're not abusing it are you?"

"No I'm not, I just, had a few glasses because I was finally home. After weeks, and she got mad, said Matteo shouldn't have to see me like that, and I got mad because I really wasn't drunk," My head hurts at the memory of it "it got heated... fast, and I threw a glass against the floor and she got scared and I just... I feel like she sees me like stranger Scott."

"I would see you as a stranger if you were never home and on top of that started acting up when you were. I think you guys should take sometime off, talk things and maybe go to couple's therapy or some shit, I don't know. But you two have a kid, spend some time with him, don't fuck him up just because the two of you have problems. The jobs not worth it, the money's not worth it, at the end of the day, nothing is worth more than your family."

"I fucking hate when you get all deep with me" I chuckle, sitting up and resting my fforehead in one hand.

"That's only because I'm right." my brother laughs too.

"How about you? Are you guys doing alright?"

"Don't worry bout us, we're still on the honeymoon phase"

We both laugh and say our goodbyes, having my brother pep talk me. I knew I had to get my family back, even if I hadn't really lost them, yet. But I needed the incentive to do so.

Reader

The baths I prepare are pretty damn good, dare I say so myself. Laying back on the water, taking a few deep breathes. It does wonders. And suddenly an idea pops in my head.

When I was somewhere around 18 I struggled with depression for years. And one of the things that helped me through that was to write down how I felt, how I wished to feel and how I could improve my situation. It was how I took writing as one of my hobbies.

So I started typing away on my phone.

I know I am not as pretty as I used to be.

I never was too perfect, or perfect at all.

And I'm conscious that my body might not look desirable anymore.

Maybe, I never deserved your love.

Or maybe it was you who didn't deserve mine.

But we made it through the hate,

we had something so beautiful.

We made life.

And I wish things could go back to being so beautiful.

But I would still love you if you decided that I'm not enough for you anymore.

I will accept anything.

All I know for sure is just that this can't keep on like this.

We deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be happy.

For the good of the life that we created,

for the good of our son,

we must get better

wether that is apart or together.

"I had forgotten how much I suck at this." I laughed at myself, but that was fine, because it got the message across. I think.

I hope.

Divorce wasn't something new to cross my mind. I just never thought I would want to discuss it, not so seriously. My parents were divorced, and my mom and I did fairly good. My dad did great on the other hand.. It wasn't that I was scared of it really, because I considered myself capable enough.

My only fear was that I would never move on from Chris, I loved him still. I have loved him since our first kiss. But sometimes it felt as if I barely knew the person that I loved anymore. My heart was still clinging to his, but my mind could not be any more distant right now.

If I really wanted to save our marriage I had to act now. But I couldn't do it alone, and that was exactly how I felt that I was.

The water went cold, and I stood up grabbing the nearest towel. Stepping out of the bath I bent down to unclog it, and when I stood back up my ears rang.

I held onto the wall for a second, and it only got worse. The room obscuring and spinning at the same time. I am not sure if I slipped or if I fainted, but I could surely say there was a bit of blood running down my forehead.

And when I finally came back to it, I was already on an ambulence.

"Ma'am. Mr. Evans is on his way, you're okay."

My eyes went to the back of my head, it felt as if I'd been on a damn carousel for hours. What the hell was happening to me?

There was a distant voice asking me things, and all I could reply was dizzy and nauseous several times.

I fucked up, who was going to take care of Matteo. I couldn't take care of him in a hospital. He needed me by his side.

"You should have taken better care of yourself."

Ali & Carly

Ali: Already miss the cave babe Ali: but seriously, was the best, hope you enjoyed your break Ali: Where you @ I'm bored Ali: Yo, you good Carls? Ali: ??? 💚 Ali: [to the now] Ali: Don't wanna go OTT if you're just chillin' but ain't seen you about either so Ali: are you alright or do I need to kick down your door Ali: cool if your avoiding me in particular though, just let a bitch know and I'll take off me boots Carly: sorry baby Carly: my bad Ali: thank fuck, that was weird Ali: sup? Carly: i kno Carly: for me too Carly: a headwreck Carly: my ma & da came home and i wasnt so they freaked had the site out looking when i wasnt around & about to go to the garda cuz i could be dead like Carly: they do their discipline old school when they cba Ali: oh shit Ali: fuck, we should've left a note Ali: i didn't think Carly: didnt care Carly: theyre not normally checking where i go Carly: cept this once Ali: i mean, basically Ali: never been an issue before Ali: they must've been scared though, voluntarily talking to the garda ain't no thing, like Ali: puts a bit of a downer on how ace it was 😕 Carly: dont be sad baby Carly: they didnt get that far Carly: not that important ha Carly: camping was tho Ali: as long as you're sure Ali: not in the plan to get you in deep shit Ali: yeah Ali: do it again sometime, long as we let bitches know, obvs Carly: its not that deep Carly: im just lying on the grass cuz furthest im allowed Carly: so weird Carly: i miss you Ali: that's mental Ali: when's the last time they grounded you, like? Ali: i miss you too, loads Ali: can i come round or will i be chased away Carly: when i ate some fancy soap of my mas cuz i was food shaped idk Carly: gonna walk off now ive got my phone back they can ring me if they lose their minds again Carly: wheres you? Ali: aww you cute Ali: just finishing up my shift Carly: aw youre the cute one Carly: making that uniform look hot Ali: someone had to try Ali: good an excuse as any, gotta check me out whilst i'm still in it Carly: yea cuz i dont want you in it for long Ali: smooth babe 😉 Ali: and i'll take you up on that 'cos I'm roasting, like Carly: and cuz you miss me Ali: that too Carly: 💙 Ali: aside from your possible kidnap/death, what site drama have I missed? Carly: none Carly: so bored Carly: going crazy here Ali: ugh Ali: letting us down, people Carly: the talk is all on me Carly: fun Ali: can't blame 'em Ali: been on my mind too Carly: aw Carly: what fun you had w out me tho Ali: ah loads Ali: while the wife's away, like Carly: 😢 Ali: can't even fake make you sad Ali: been doing stuff at home mostly, with ro or music or art shit Ali: nothing wild, don't worry Carly: you can sing to me Carly: or paint me Carly: now im back Ali: i can Ali: or paint on you Ali: that's always fun Carly: yea Carly: love it Carly: what do you wanna Ali: see where the inspiration takes me Carly: me too Carly: not artsy but many other talents like Ali: i know Ali: better than you give yourself credit, in all the ways Carly: dont i miss you too much already Carly: being so sweet to me Ali: good Ali: cos i did too and i'm gonna show you Carly: yea? Carly: where Ali: where am i gonna show you? in the world or on you like Carly: ha like we cant be here or my ma will be eyeballing Carly: i kno you gonna show me everything everywhere baby Ali: hm not the ideal audience Ali: idc we'll find somewhere Carly: yours? Carly: we can pitch the tent back up so the holiday never ends Ali: good idea babe Ali: got a padlock, keep the kid out Carly: ha good idea too babe Carly: if we thought my ma wasnt ideal like Ali: 😬 Ali: one way to learn the birds n bees Ali: sure the fam will distract him, don't need him being more fucked up from trauma Carly: tell your sister Carly: shes had her turn w you to herself only fair Ali: don't think she'll be pouting at not being included Carly: ha Carly: shes not as cute as you but k if you want boo Ali: don't be nasty 😂 Carly: jk Carly: you kno me and sharing Ali: all yours for tonight boo Carly: thats how i want it Carly: been just me & my thoughts for so long Carly: thinking i dreamt hols like Ali: oh baby Ali: all real, got the tan and polaroids to prove it Carly: yea Carly: worth my parents kicking off Ali: gotta agree Ali: this is gonna be the best summer ever Carly: i kno Carly: omw to show you how itll be Ali: 😚 Carly: am i gonna have to hop over the fence or wtf Carly: not trying to chat to the inlaws Ali: Da's at work and Ma's doing the big shop Ali: you're sweet Carly: k cuz wanna save my energy for you like Carly: & yea i am Carly: youll see how sweet Ali: can't stop now lads Ali: yeah i will Carly: not gonna idc if my parents end up putting out a fullscale alert Carly: i need to be w my baby Ali: like, they going so hard with the idea that we're gal pals that they ain't gonna put 2 n 2 together Ali: sleepover at mine baby Carly: well straight i am Ali: yep Ali: 🍝 Carly: ?? Ali: You're a spaghetti girl Ali: straight until you get wet Carly: thats a real thing? Carly: did you just make it up Ali: not my original concept but you can claim it if you're feeling it Carly: 🍨🍬🍩🍪🍭 Carly: you Ali: too precious for words Carly: we dont have to talk its k Carly: you can just kiss me Ali: amongst other things Carly: yea you gotta sing to me w you find your words again i not forgot Ali: exactly babe 😘 Ali: what do you want me to sing you Carly: idc your fave Carly: idk any of the songs you like Ali: as long as it makes me feel a type of way, it's good with me Ali: even if that way is what the fuck Carly: ha Carly: i like you so much Ali: good, i'm glad Ali: awkward if you've taken the bit this far Carly: you thought id run away Ali: crossed my mind but honestly idk Ali: was worried Carly: aw baby no Carly: i really like you k seriously Ali: I like you too Carly: good thing cuz ive made it over Carly: come get me