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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

#bnha 317 #all might #midoriya izuku #and endeavor and hawks and mt. lady and all the rest of them I guess #literally forgot all about them by the end lol #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #this wound up so long lmao I'm so sorry

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lord-of-christmas-lights · 3 years

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I swear I have normal Narnia headcanons. However, none of them are featured in this post.

So! If you've been following my series of posts about my Inhuman Narnia AU and the couple of oneshots I posted on ao3 under ASkyOfKai, you've probably noticed that in this little universe I've created, Narnia is sort of...sentient. And I've just realized that I've only actually gone into depth about this on Discord with my friends who are probably very tired of hearing about it. So I'm making y'all suffer through it instead. Welcome to Inhuman Narnia 101, please take your seats because this is going to take a while.

Warning for religious themes, theological discussion, and some dark fantasy/inhuman/body horror concepts that involve blood and physical changes.

BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING: Please keep in mind that an AU is meant to be an alternate universe that may not follow canon information. If anything in this post contradicts canon on the creation of Narnia (it undoubtedly will), pay it no mind, this is an AU. It doesn't have to follow canon.

First off, a little explanation of the Inhuman Narnia AU in general. Basically I came up with this AU after seeing some other people on tumblr post about the Pevensies being not quite human after their time in Narnia. Just eerie, cryptid, a bit of dark fantasy kinda stuff. And I was like, "I'm in love, sign me up, I have ideas." I did not sit down and develop this all at once. The worldbuilding I've done for it has come slowly over the past few weeks through posts, fanfics, and discord rambles. The idea of Narnia being a sentient earth deity of sorts is a recent one and there is already so much to it. (Also I call her Narnia because it's convenient, she has other names but I haven't bothered to like, actually make any up so Narnia is what she's called.)

The most important thing to note starting off is that Narnia is not supposed to be a replacement for Aslan, nor is she necessarily "the hero to his villain". Aslan and I have an interesting relationship, as he is literally God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit/etc and I no longer really identify as Christian. While there are times that Aslan definitely takes a more antagonistic route in my writings, I don't actually see him as a bad guy, nor as a good guy. As God, he literally removed from our concepts of good and evil (in my opinion). The same goes for Narnia being an earth deity. I am a Christian-raised pagan, and I definitely subscribe to the idea that gods and deities are not subject to humanity and our rules. Narnia is not a good goddess, she is not a bad goddess, she simply is a goddess. Plain and simple. The dichotomy that exists between Narnia and Aslan in my writing is generally that of opposing deities, but this isn't a hard and fast rule. There were and still are times when they're friends, working towards the same goals. There are times when Narnia's power is stronger than Aslan's and times when Aslan's power is stronger than hers. There is no simple 1:1 comparison between them.

So, getting into motivations and why Narnia as a deity even exists. Essentially, I asked the question, "How do the Pevensies become inhuman?" and voila earth deity Narnia was born. Now, the basic in-universe mythology I've worked out is that Narnia and Aslan are two deities from separate dimensions that came together to create a new world, the world of Narnia. Aslan is the one who oversees things, he's the one who comes up with the ideas, and he's a little less attached to the world as a whole because he's a Creator, not an earth deity. Narnia is, however, and she literally makes up the world, she sort of runs the entire thing on a physical level, and she is much more attached to it. So she's always kinda taken on this role of making the things in her world the way she wants them. For the most part, she and Aslan designed everything together and they're both happy with it blah blah blah. Well, Aslan then decides to bring a few humans from this other world he's created to Narnia. And she affects them a bit (I've got headcanons about Digory and Polly that I haven't posted anywhere yet but I might soon), but it isn't until Aslan brings the Pevensies over that she really gets to experiment. See, there are other deities in the world that kinda rule over the various lands on a surface level (patron gods for Telmar, the Archenlands, etc, they just have less power than Narnia and Aslan) so she has a little less power over the people in those places, but the country of Narnia is both her land and her so when the Pevensies become the Kings and Queens and live there for 15 years, she's very connected to them. And it's through this connection that she starts to affect them. Honestly, I'm not sure if Narnia even knows what she's doing when she starts stripping away their humanity. I think it's that she can feel they're not from her world and she doesn't like that. She wants them to be a part of her, she wants them to belong in her world just the same as everyone else. (Side note—I know Telmar and some other lands in canon are based on people finding portals and coming through and I'd like to say that she does affect them a bit, takes away a bit of their humanity, but it's not to the same extent as the Kings and Queens of her lands).

"So Kai," you might say, "You keep empathizing that she is literally the land and the land is her. What the hell do you mean by that?" Well, essentially, she is...the...land. Basically if you've read Percy Jackson Heroes of Olympus, there's this idea that Gaia and Tartarus are both physically their domains and able to take on a smaller, human shaped physical form because they're gods and not restricted by human ideas of only having one body. Narnia is the same. Her physical form is both the entire world and whatever smaller shape she might appear in to people. However, we have to acknowledge that their world is differently structurally from ours. There's magic, there's talking animals, and in my Inhuman AU, there is a literal Heart of Narnia at the center. Like a physical, beating, human-shaped heart. Except it's a lot bigger than a regular human heart. Also it's golden. And many many many miles underground. So anyways this is where she's centered. It's basically where her soul is. Probably under Cair Paravel because I just came up with that idea and I love it. And radiating out from it are veins of magic and blood, and these stretch all across the world. Now here is where we get into blood magic and some of those fun terrifying concepts I've come up with.

Narnia has her own blood, of course, but also whenever one of her Kings or Queens bleeds in battle, she kinda pulls it down through the earth into her own heart and veins. It doesn't really do anything to her or them in particular, it's just a fun side effect of them having a patron pagan god. Yes this includes Caspian after he becomes King. Also Peter's blood turns golden because he's the High King, and then later Caspian's does too because I just really like imagery of Ben Barnes bleeding gold. (Side note—when Peter returns to England, his blood goes back to red, but it does remain a brighter red than blood generally is).

Diverting for half a second here. Now, in both my regular Narnia writings and my Inhuman AU, Lucy is very very connected to magic. In my regular Narnia fanfic, she studies with the druids, who are sort of like BBC Merlin's druids. They're just like, chill dudes who run around in camps doing magic and making prophecies and shit. However, in the Inhuman AU, they are a lot darker. One of my favorite ideas with the Inhuman druids and Lucy is that they are so connected to Narnia's magic and her Heart that their hands become stained with blood. Is it their blood, is it Narnia's blood, is it someone else's blood? Idk, don't ask questions. But yea, their hands are permanently stained reddish-brown to almost black. In my regular Narnia stuff, I still like the idea of Lucy's hands being stained and go with just earth magic, dirt stuff for the reason why. But yea no, in the Inhuman AU her hands are stained with blood because of blood magic.

So getting a bit more into how Narnia affects the Pevensies now because I love talking about this lol. She doesn't consciously chose how to change them, though she does call them her creations. Generally the way her magic affects them is by connecting them to to the land in some way and bringing out certain traits they have. So for Peter it's his eyes flickering between regular blue and the amber of a lion's, feathers appearing on his back that grow into wings, having a strength greater than that of a giant's. His blood is golden and on clear nights, the Aurora Borealis in the sky is reflected across his skin. For Susan, her skin glints like glass in the sun and she can briefly glimpse the future. Her wounds are sewn shut with golden rays of light, her eyes are cracked but clear, and she seems to glow faintly in the night, a bit of the sun's radiance shining through her. Edmund has a bit of a star's power lodged in his throat, and can manipulate words, uses them to influence people and their actions. His skin is frostbitten in places, a side effect of ruling the Woods where the White Witch once held so much power, and in some spots his bones shine under the ice that spreads across his skin. Lucy has the stained skin from her stronger connection to magic, and when she speaks words from the Old Language (the one Aslan and Narnia used to shape the world itself), her voice echoes and rasps. Her teeth are too sharp, her smile too wide, and when she disappears underwater, she can stay for hours without surfacing. I want to get into Eustace and Caspian now too but this post is already extremely long and I've still got a bit to cover, so we're just sticking with the Pevensies for now. So yea, Narnia doesn't pick what she does to the Pevensies, she just connects herself to them and through that connection, they change. The magic that she is made of, that Narnia the world operates on, that's what changes them. However, as I stated already, she does call them her creations and feels extremely responsible for them.

Wrapping back around up to the beginning, this is the biggest source of conflict between her and Aslan as of the canon timeline. I like to believe that the lamppost incident was an accident, that Aslan didn't actually mean to send them back at the end of LWW and it was pure coincidence, wrong place wrong time stuff. That being said, it did happen and Narnia really didn't like it happening. The Pevensies did return to their (mostly) human selves in this AU in England, so when they came back in Prince Caspian, she felt disconnected from them again. She reacted to this by digging into them even harder on a spiritual level and essentially speedran them back to being inhuman throughout the timeline of PC, which generally takes place over a few months in my mind. I don't remember how long it was in the book, it's been quite a while since I read them, but it's only like a week in the movie and like eff that, overthrowing a kingdom takes a bit longer in my opinion. Now there are a few divergences here. 1. They all stay at the end of PC and yea that's it, they go back to being Kings and Queens and it's like a second Golden Age but with Caspian there as well. 2. Susan and Peter stay, Lucy and Edmund go back and it's a repeat of the human/inhumanity cycle for them + Eustace in VOTDT and then they stay. 3. Everything happens exactly as it does in canon and it's a constant cycle of humanity/inhumanity with the character's various trips and finally ends at The Last Battle. I like all versions and I tend to leave things a little open to the reader on what exactly happens, or I would if I could actually finish some of my drafts and post them. As you can imagine, Narnia likes 1 the best and 3 the least. She really wants her Kings and Queens to stay and rule her lands and like be awesome and stuff. However, Aslan prefers 3 the best and 1 the least. So again, neither of them is really good nor evil, they just have differing opinions on how the world should be run and what the Pevensie's fates should be. I do tend to side with Narnia, I really like exploring these concepts of inhumanity, but I also really like the concept of a cycle. That's very common in mythology.

So anyways, that's a bit of an overview on earth deity Narnia and her role in my Inhuman AU. If you made it this far, congratulations, and I give you explicit permission to use any of my ideas in your own writing/fanart/whatever, as long as you tag either my tumblr or my ao3 (lord-of-christmas-lights and ASkyOfKai) because I need more Narnia+Inhumanity content in my life. Thanks for reading all this and I'll probably be back very soon with elaboration on Eustace and Caspian's inhumanity!

- Kai

#inhuman/dark fantasy narnia #the chronicles of narnia #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #edmund pevensie #lucy pevensie #aslan #digory kirke #eustace scrubb #caspian x #narnia headcanons #rambles of a hyperfixating kai

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sanderssideswriting · 4 years

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Youtuber Life Chapter 1

Based off this post

Ships: familial sleepxiety and eventual Prinxiety

Words:???

first next

Summary: Remy Sanders is a famous beauty vlogger and just moved to LA with his teenage son Virgil after their location was leaked by fans. Remy AKA CoffeeAddiction has several million subscribers. Virgil also has a secret Drama channel, where he doesn’t show his face and uses a voice modifier. He just hit a million subs and grows more everyday because of the level of production his videos have, the mystery around who he is and the fact that he ALWAYS has the latest information regarding youtube drama.

The house was pretty big, it wasn't where most youtuber houses where but it also wasn’t to far. Remy was already vlogging about the new house.

“This is my new house, there will be a house tour later, this time I’ll be making sure you guys can’t find it. I love y’all but I don’t love it when people find out where I live and then put it on the internet. I like my privacy, well the little I have left and I’d like to keep it that way. See you soon babes,” and the camera was turned off.

the first thing they set up was the basement, where Remy filmed almost everything with another room to do voiceovers and editing.

Virgil and Remy had a pretty good time decorating the house and it turned out really nice.

Then school started.

Virgil was dreading it, to say the least, he did NOT want to be the new kid. Being the new id sucks, everyone wants to know everything about you. And Virgil tended to avoid talking about his personal life for obvious reasons. But the kids at his school wouldn’t know that.

Then he found out it would be private school.

“Dad! There’ll be fake stoners! They’re worse then real stones! Plus everyone will be stuck up and annoying! I’ll have to wear a uniform!” He complained.

“They have a Starbucks in the cafeteria,” Remy said.

Virgil shut up.

The first day of school came and Virgil did indeed have to wear a uniform, it wasn’t that terrible, but he still hated it simply because it was a uniform.

At school he was given his schedule and a map and left to find his own way to class. He was only ten minutes late to the first one and five minute to every one after that.

At lunch there was no Starbucks apart from stuff in bottles, Virgil bought two anyway but texted his dad.

V: you lied about the Starbucks Remy: Technically they DO have Starbucks V: not the good kush Remy: It’s cold and it has caffeine and the logo V: you’d never drink it Remy: I can afford not to V: so can I, just can’t get any atm Remy: pay attention in class V: it’s lunch Remy: make friends! Or like idk make a sarcastic tweet on Twitter, apparently texting your dad isn’t very cool with the kids these days V: it would be if they knew that YOU’RE my dad Remy: go drink coffee or something, I need to edit

“Hey! You’re new right?” A boy with light brown hair and round glasses asked sitting down.

Virgil nodded.

“I’m Patton Foster and this is Logan Berry, our other friend Roman Prince is coming he’s meeting with a teacher,” Patton said.

“Virgil Sanders,” Virgil said.

Patton and Logan seemed to take that as their queue to sit down with him.

“Where did you move from?” Patton asked.

“Atlanta.”

“Cool! Why did you move here?” Patton asked trying to make conversation.

“My dads job,” Virgil said.

His phone buzzed, he best friend Janus and Remus had snapped him.

It was a basic snap saying “how’s LA treating you? See Jake Paul yet?”

Virgil texted them back.

Racoon: lol not yet, but I’m sure it’ll be soon Hiss hiss motherfucker: yeah, they’re like an infestation Raccoon: ouch Dukey: How’s the Starbucks at your fancy rich kid school? Racoon: A fucking lie, at this rate I’ll be drinking the bang they have Hiss hiss motherfucker: ew, no don’t Racoon: I know Dukey: Seen any stoners or druggies yet? Racoon: saw a few fake ones, including one kid asking everyone if they’d sell him their Adderall Dukey: weakass stoners Racoon: you have ADHD not a drug problem Remus, you’re not a stoner Dukey: I could be Hiss hiss motherfucker: well you’re not, so shut the fuck up Hiss hiss motherfucker: there’s a new pallet coming out in a few weeks... Racoon: Not doing it, it’ll be hard enough to get one, get your own Hiss hiss motherfucker: at least tell me how you LAWAYS get them Racoon: lol no

Janus sent a lovely picture of his middle finger

Virgil did the same, but with his face in it.

“Hey, you’re the new kid right?” Another guy said sitting down, Roman probably.

“Unfortunately, Virgil Sanders.”

“Roman Prince, your name sounds familiar,” Roman said.

Virgil shrugged “no idea why,”

“Where are you from?”

“Atlanta, isn’t that cool Roman!” Patton said.

“That’s how I know you! My twin Remus Duke, I think he’s told me about you before,” Roman said.

Virgil took a picture of Roman and sent it to Remus.

Racoon: you know him? Dukey: yeah, he’s my twin, why? Racoon: first of all you have a TWIN? I thought you where an only child. Dukey: child of divorce here, yeah we still talk. Small world ig Racoon: and you told him about me? Dukey: yeah, so? Or are you to stuck up to have people talk about you? Racoon: fuck off, or I’ll do your channel next Disgrace Dukey: try me bitch

“Yeah no, your right, Remus just didn’t say he was a fucking twin for some reason,” Virgil said.

Roman looked pretty offended at that. Virgil smirked “now I know why Remus says ‘offended princey noises’ all the time.”

“That fiend says what?” Roman demanded.

“Don’t hurt yourself Princey.”

The bell rang and Virgil made a quick exit.

At home he got in and saw the Filming light by the basement door was on. He opened the door anyway. “Has the espresso machine been unpacked? Also you fucking lied! There was no Starbucks!”

“Filming! Read the fucking sign, of course it was unpacked and it’s your fault for thinking it was a rich, rich kid school. Why the fuck would they have an actual Starbucks in the cafeteria? What did you learn today? And get me some espresso if you’re going to make some.”

“Fake stoners are worse then real stoners and they can go fuck themselves,” Virgil said before closing the door to get some espresso, which he promptly mixed into his coffee.

“People have been begging me to do an update on this so here it is. Trisha Paytas and DID, sorry it hasn’t been done yet but I’ve been getting new equipment and also moving stuff around so I can have a bigger space to edit and record. So we all know she’s faking, I’ve actually been doing research, not a ton, I’m not an expert but I have been learning. Not only to debunk Trisha but just understand DID more because I’m very uneducated and want to change that. DID is a very serious condition and Trish is not portraying it well or even describing it, she is describing things everyone does. Such as living in America and going to England, everyone’s accent naturally changes over time, you act differently around people. Those are not alters, that has nothing to do with DID. Let’s get into the video so I can correct more but not everything because I’m not an expert. “That’s it for today, I can’t take anymore stupidity so I’ll see you next week for another episode of “What the fuck did she say now?”

#sander sides #parent Remy #teen virgil #teen roman #teen patton #teen logan #teen Deceit #teen Janus #teen Remus #creativitwins #au #human au #youtuber #famous

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occupyvenus · 6 years

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Great post - "about why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly thought about" and I think your really nailed a lot of the key factors, especially how the San/San people like Sansa, are more likely book readers and can accept the Jonsa ship maturely. There is definitely a pathological hatred of Sansa that drives the fanaticism against her being with Jon. You really captured a lot of the thinking (if you can call it thinking!) on a tv forum I've been following for about a year. People literally (1/2)

will dream up any reason to keep Sansa away from Jon. There is essentially a subculture that allows the Jon/Ary@ ship and the Jon/D@ny ship to coexist. Even kind of support each other. Dany might die and then Arya and Jon will raise the Targcest baby together. Pretty crazy stuff. Anyway thanks for writing so clearly on this topic. (2/2)

First of all … that was supposed to say FOUGHT ABOUT!!! NOT THOUGHT ABOUT!!! WHY JONSA OF ALL SHIPS IS SO BITTERLY FOUGHT ABOUT!!!

I lower my head in shame, while contemplating my bad habit of never proof-reading the stuff I write. But as the previous anon so correctly pointed out my spelling isn’t exactly top-notch. Most of the time it’s honestly p r e t t y bad. If words sound somewhat similar, by stupid brain assumes they’re interchangeable. Seven hells.

Though I think this - Sansa being regarded as a side character or at best, the least important main character - also explains why Jonsa isn’t seen as a possibility by the general fandom, not just the radical antis. People look at the infamous original outline, believing that Sansa never gained any real importance as a character since then, like she was just allowed to tag along with the “real” key five (Arya, Bran, Dany, Jon and Tyrion). She was supposed to marry Joffrey and die at some point and the crazy folks think she’ll not even survive but also get THE MALE LOVE-INTEREST? I suppose, to people who don’t realize (or don’t want to admit) that Sansa was “upgraded” to key-status (GRRM always includes her when talking about the most important characters nowadays), any serious theory that claims she could be Jon’s grand love interest sounds as implausible as if it was … idk, Arianne or Brienne or whoever. Those two are great and all, but Jon Snow is on an entirely different level when it comes to significance to the narrative. Why would he of all people end up with some puny side-character? Shouldn’t that “honor” go to one of the real heroines? Makes sense. It’s not just the people who actively hate on Sansa, but also those who simply don’t care much about her character.

I guess you call this hypothesis “Why Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly FOUGHT about and/or not taken seriously”.

I’m honestly not an expert on what’s going on between the other camps (ie the general attitude between J0nry and J0nerys shippers), but according to my experience these two subgroups (together with the Sansa/P€tyr shippers) make up the majority of devoted jonsa-haters and put forth the most obsessed ones as well. If I remember correctly, a few years back before canon!jonsa gained so much momentum those two groups weren’t getting along nicely either. There was a lot of bickering about who’s more important (Ary@ is grrm’s fav!, D@ny has dragons and all, so shut your piehole!), mixed up with some shipping wank and as far as I can tell (as I said, I have a very limited perspective on this. I don’t really interact with either group), that has gotten a bit better since Sansa entered the stage as another key female character. What do people say? The enemy of my enemy …

I don’t think that shipping is super important to asoiaf, I care about the story first and was pretty indifferent to it before I jumped on board the Jonsa ship, but I do think that we’ll get one “main” romance between two “main” characters. It would simply make sense to me, Grrm was never shy about including romantic love in his works, even if it was never the main focus. Now, this will more likely than not end in tragedy, but since asoiaf can be read as a coming of age story for at least 5 of the key six, and settling down with a spouse and a couple of kids is one common way to end such a story, maybe that will belong to the “sweet” part of the bittersweet ending. Idk, anything’s possible. (Btw, I don’t count Sansa and Tyrion’s marriage as a “romance” for obvious reasons.) If you don’t subscribe to the idiotic assumption that Jon and D@ny are the “real” real main characters and assume that all six are of equal importance … why is shipping either of them (other than the biological siblings, perhaps, that would be a bit weird even by grrm standards), less legit than the other? (Of course, if you do subscribe to this assumption, there probably only exists one “legitimate” pairing in your opinion. In which case, no argument about this could ever be solved until finding a common denominator to this question of principle, so why even bother…)

If one of the male characters can be seen as the “romantic lead” it would be Jon (grrm even sorta confirmed this in his “fake” -lol- medusa interview), simply because Bran is just a kid and Tyrion, well some people will accuse me of ableism, but I don’t get any “romantic lead” vibes from him. Not because he’s a dwarf, because he’s the only “grownup” of the key six. So everyone can keep any accusations to themselves. I also don’t think that Grrm will stride away from hetero-love, to be honest. HE COULD. But I don’t think he will. That leaves us with the three possibilities mentioned above: Jon and one of the leading ladies. I think it’s rather inevitable that that will happen.

But when it comes to the ladies … things simply aren’t as clear. They’re all similar of age, neither of them is closely related to Jon (at least, not THAT closely related), they could all work. I obviously don’t like J0nerys, but I can totally understand why so many people believe in it. I would maybe even ship J0nrya a bit, if it wasn’t almost impossible to find shippers who don’t hate on Sansa/Jonsa. And I would never call either of those groups “delusional” because it basically comes down to personal preference and a couple of other factors, most notably how you judge the future projective of these three characters.

I also hate the assumption that J0nerys is the only pairing with solid foreshadowing in the books. I read the books a few times, all j0nerys meta I could find, plenty of J0nrya ones and, well, I don’t have to talk about all the jonsa-metas I’ve consumed xD. Trying to remain as unbiased as possible, there’s an almost equal amount of foreshadowing for all of them. I simply came to the conclusion that Sansa is the most likely candidate because a) I’m pretty sure D@ny will go dark and there will be a targbowl of sorts. She could just as easily be a love interest, as she could be an adversary. b) The age-gap between Ary@ and Jon is a bit too big for my liking. Especially at their current canon age. Also I love them siblings so much. And c) Sansa’s upgrade and the drastic change in her narrative must have a reason. Martin liking the idea of tormented pseudo-incest, and the reveal of Jon’s parentage making such a relationship “proper” but deciding to emphasize the brotherly bond between Jon and Ary@ and “using” Sansa’s character as the love interest instead simply makes sense to me.

But I only came to this conclusion because I consider Sansa to be of equal importance. It’s more or less a precondition of even consider Jonsa, even more so to ship it in a canon kind of way.

Now, to put an end to this little rant and get back to the original topic, D@ny and Ary@ stans regularly accuse Sansa of “stealing their narrative” or at least “Sansa-stans want her to have it all”, so it’s no surprise that they a) don’t want her to be key player and b) subsequently don’t want her / can’t see her ending up with Jon. There are a few very great posts out there dealing with the issue why Sansa is hated so much, but I think it comes down to (to get off topic one more time, because it’s my speciality)

Misogyny. Feminine characters always attract a lot of unwarranted hate (female characters and general, but at least on tumblr … one can undeniably see a certain trend), more so the ones who don’t take off their clothes. There’s this really nice post going around that as a female character you either have to a) be a sex object or b) act like a man. I would link to it if only I could find it. I’m not going to add much to this, it has been talked about many times.

You can’t live vicariously through her. Sansa’s narrative often is … very frustrating. Nobody “wants to be Sansa”. People want to be the rebellious, fighting girl who doesn’t take any shit, they want to be the mother of dragons who goes around the world freeing slaves, they want to be Jon kicking some White Walker ass, they want to be the future three-eyed-raven (though Bran is seriously underappreciated by the fandom), they want to be a smart ass know it all, like Tyrion. They don’t want to be the girl stuck in situations she has almost no means of escaping. The sad truth to this is though, most people, if they found themselves in the same situation, “would be Sansa”. Most people aren’t active heros who fight against the unjust system all the time, most people aren’t geniuses, or brave enough to put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of other all the time. I actually fell in love with Sansa’s character because of that. (Though I have to admit myself, I was rather indifferent to her character for partially those exact reasons myself). It’s refreshing and a honest take on human nature to have a heroine who mostly has to resort to endurance and passive resistance. Mostly, not always. I don’t subscribe to “Sansa is weak and useless” weekly. Don’t get me wrong. She’s awesome and badass in her right, it’s just a bit harder to notice and appreciate. In this aspect she’s probably the most “realistic” character of the key six and people don’t like to read the truth about themselves. They wanna read about what they want to and could be.

People are projecting. HARD. I spent a lot of time wondering why Sansa gets so much shit for her “evil deeds and traits”, in a series where people kill other people, shove children out of windows, burn people alive, rape a slave prostitute, and so on and so forth. And you know what? It’s easier to “forgive” those things because they are so absolutely horrendous. All these things are so far removed from our everyday reality (for most people at least), that it severs our emotional connection to it. Don’t get me wrong, we can still judge their behaviour, we can still emphasize with the victims, but we have no personal experience to connect to. But Sansa’s “villainous characteristics” (especially those of s1/agot)? An ignorant, privileged white girl who is mean to her little sister for being different, is caught up in some naive classicism, does stupid shit because she has a crush on some asshole everyone else could sniff out a mile away and always has to be so fucking perfect all the time. NOW THAT IS A “BAD GUY” WE KNOW! That’s a “villain” we all encountered in real life. To put this in different terms: I’ve never been pushed out a window for witnessing a incestous relationship between two people of high social standing (nor has anyone close to me), but have I felt victimized by my sister being the pretty, perfect girl, while I was the loud, unruly, unattractive tomboy? Yeeeeeeeeeeees. Have I ever actually lived through the experience of my elder sister getting nicer gifts than me, because “I would just break them”? Yeeeeeeeeeeeesss again. I grew out of it after elementary school, of course (okay, to be completely honest here, I might have still struggled with it during puberty, but thank god that’s also behind me). This also works the other way around: I have never been in the situation of “having” to push a kid out of a window, because it witnessed my incestous relationship and I, my sister-lover and our three children would lose their heads if he told anyone. I’ve never had slave master nail 163 children to crosses to piss me off. Idk, man. I have no idea what I would do. I never had to deal with shit like this. Who am I to judge? But then people look at the “mean” things Sansa did and go I WOULD NEVER EVER EVER. (though they probably did at some point in their life).

Since this is tumblr, I have to note something: I don’t think this applies to everyone who dislikes Jonsa. I don’t think that everyone who dislikes Jonsa also dislikes Sansa. I’m not even saying that everyone dislikes Sansa for the reasons listed above. Before you accuse me of any of this, make sure you didn’t fall victim to a logical fallacy. I had enough of those lately. Those are just a few of my personal observations and conclusions, that I think, apply to quite a few people. If your reasonings and opinions are completely different, great, I’m not arguing, just don’t give me any shit about it.

So to draw some final conclusion for this long ass post: Jonsa of all ships is so bitterly fought about and/or not taken seriously, because a) Sansa attracts a lot of hate for several reasons, b) Sansa is considered to be too unimportant to be the “romantic lead” kind of main character grand love interest.

Shipping Jonsa is not “delusional” if you a) consider all three lead ladies to be of equal significance and b) don’t dislike Sansa. (Though since this is Tumblr, I might point it out one more time: This does not mean that anyone this applies to also ships Jonsa. This does not mean that this doesn’t also apply to people who don’t ship Jonsa. This does not mean that only people who stan Sansa hard ship Jonsa - I myself actually started shipping it because I staned Jon so much and I need my baby to be happy. Some people who fulfill both a) and b) might still believe that Jonsa shipper are “delusional” simply because it’s the common narrative of a big portion of the fandom.)

… Now that I think about this, the entire question could have been answered with the last paragraph alone, but you know how we do, go big or go home.

#caitnan #jonsa #anti-jonerys #shipping of got #meta #kind of #sansa stark #sansa hate #long post #really long post

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softforhenry · 6 years

Text

I don’t watch every con panel, not even J2 even though I’m a Jensen!girl.

After the huge shitstorm on twitter and even in some media about J2 after SPNNOLA, I had to watch the panels myself though. I recommend that to everyone btw, who only builds their opinion on just a small video snippet of a panel or even just a single tweet.

And I genuinely recommend everyone to watch the panels anyway, because they were FUN!

Gold panel:

The boys joking about Jared’s “n’awlins” accent is so cute. Them doing accents is always great entertainment!

J2 thanking the fans for the EW covers. They are so thankful and appreciative of our support. No matter what they accomplish, they always credit us fans and take time to thank us for our devotion. That they’re still so humble about their success is amazing.

Jared: “I don’t know how subscribing a magazine works anymore.” – Jensen: “You sign up and they send you one.” I just love Jensen’s deadpan humor! Jared talking about how his mom is so happy for him being on the cover - awww <3

Ahhhhh noooooo don’t kill the kitty, Jensen!! Bad Jensen. LOL.

“Jensen is a master of his voice.” – of course he is. What the hell isn’t he good at?!

Really interesting hearing them talk about voice acting. And I must say, I do enjoy the image of Jensen doing it with just his coffee in his hand and in underwear ^^

J2 being like “come here” to Alex, when he asked about cons. YES!! Bring him to one!

Jensen saying he already likes the holy water joke, because there’s a pun in there. And Jared doing the interrupting sloth. Gotta love those dorks!

The way Jensen immediately perks up and is really attentive when the fan mentions Danneel!

Dean “Boom Boom” Winchester. YES!!!

Jensen talking about home is the cutest!!! Danneel handing him the keys to “EVERYTHING” once Jensen gets home and then driving off… the way Jensen fondly jokes about it and then says that sometimes it does feel like it (wahhh they must miss home and their families so much and the little time they get together must feel too short all the time) and then he gets serious and says it’s actually him asking Danneel “what do you need me to do?”… such a good husband and dad <3

JENSEN MENTIONING FIREFLY – I LIVE FOR THIS!

“Potty words.” Oh Jared. LOL.

The pirate joke is always cute.

And now to that moment: now that I’ve seen it, my thoughts on it: First of all, Jensen genuinely tried to shut Jared down, his “no” was definitely serious. Jared then warned everyone that his joke is “really offensive”. People still kept cheering him on and asking him to tell it. He did. And yes, it was offensive. But yes, it was also a joke. Nothing more. Just to get some perspective on this: How many of you who are now dragging them over the coils for that joke, have played Cards against Humanity for example? How many of you have laughed at all those horrible, inappropriate things that came from that game? Knowing exactly how offensive it is? Just think about that for a second. Also Jensen’s “Mr. Cosby” … how many of you are still making jokes about Trump and retweet memes and stuff about Trump? In all seriousness, there’s nothing to joke about what Trump is doing. But sometimes people have to laugh. That’s it. SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The double standards of some people are astonishing and it always gets me.

Jared talking about how Odette likes to play with his beard. CUTENESS ALERT!

“Alex has plenty of stories to tell already.” – Then let’s get him to a con ASAP!!!

J2 are always so thoughtful answering the acting advice question. No matter how many times it gets asked, they don’t look bored by it and they always take it serious. They want other people to succeed and give them the best advice they can. Every single time. It amazes me sometimes that they don’t get fed up with questions like this that get asked so often, but they’re always gracious and genuine in their response and I think it’s really sweet and a testament to their characters.

We as a fandom could learn from that, in my humble opinion.

Main panel:

Jensen’s chant. DAMN!! Great mood from the beginning. Love him!

Jared’s story about getting lost in New Orleans and meeting that person who thought he’s only dressed up as Sam Winchester had me laughing.

I know prank questions are getting old, but this time there was actually a good prompt to ask it with Alex being new on set. I giggled at Jensen describing it as “welcome package”. Also let’s hope we get that extra long gag reel!!!!

J2 teasing Misha. I know some people don’t like it. But the thing is, I see most people who say they’re done with it blaming J2 for giving fuel to the Misha haters and that being the reason they don’t like it. Two things that go through my mind at that every time: You shouldn’t blame friends joking about each other for the actions of other people! And the haters will ALWAYS find something to use for their agenda. Everyone with two eyes can see that J2M are true friends. Just watch the jibcon panels and their live streams and stuff – these guys love each other. No matter WHAT J2 might say about Misha, it won’t change a hater’s mind. Nothing will. So let the boys joke about each other. Like Jensen once said: “We prank you as maliciously as we do, because we like you the best.”

Also here we go with the double standards again: Everyone getting so offended over the offensive joke in the gold panel, but laughing about Jared calling Jensen Misha’s toy? Sexualizing and dehumanizing him? So to those who get angry about the first one and start laughing and squeeing about the second one: Please explain to me why that’s okay? I guess when it fits shipping purposes everything’s fine? Idk… but that’s what I get from it. Jensen’s initial reaction was a double take and a “you did not just say that”-look. But of course Jensen went with the joke and that’s what I love about all of them: They can take a joke, they laugh about each other and even more about themselves, they make us laugh in the process, they aren’t afraid to makes themselves look silly. It’s all in good fun. I’m so done with fans trying their hardest to turn everything into a bad thing. Isn’t this supposed to be our source of fun and sometimes an escape from reality?

“I shift myself.” Oh Jared. LOL. Jensen stopping Stephen from making the badum tsss at that joke and then apologizing for their lame jokes. PLEASE DON’T EVER CHANGE GUYS!!!

Loved the question about Dean and Jack, Dean’s emotional state and how Jensen thinks about it. I seriously live for hearing Jensen talk about his acting choices and about Dean’s headspace. How he describes anger as a stage of grief – everyone who calls Dean a meanie for his behavior with Jack: Please listen to Jensen here, he’s really an emotionally intelligent man and has a great understanding and instinct for human emotions. I’m also curious about him teasing that the relationship between Dean and Jack will change.

Jensen’s instant reaction of “NONONONONO” to destroying the Impala in episode 2x02 makes me so emotional. This scene is one of those that will always stick with me, it’s so raw and brutal and Jensen was incredible!

It’s also interesting to hear about how they filmed that motel room scene in episode 10x23. That they trashed the room first and then Jensen had to match the destruction they already created for the first takes. I’m laughing at him describing how he threw something against that picture frame and instead of crashing it was hanging perfectly after it. - “He is the one.” – DAMN RIGHT! :)

And Jared chiming in how funny it would’ve been if it had been on purpose and them miming how they put everything into place. LOL.

Look how sweet and happy they look for that girl spending her birthday at the con and having the time of her life. They love seeing other people happy. Adding something to their happiness. They’re good beans.

Jensen admitting that he’s an awful liar and to ask his wife. LOL. Someone ask Danneel about it at the next con she’s at!! (She needs to come to more, pleeeease!!)

Jared fangirling over Sam’s hair, Jensen joking that it’s gray and then making all those faces behind Jared (what an adorable clown!) and then going on to say “I pinch my… side”, that pause and his face after it!! Jensen has such amazing comedic timing, it’s gold!!!

Jensen explaining his reaction to when he sees his own performance on screen, especially emotional ones is so great. How he feels and taps into that emotion again when watching the scene and how much he loves his character (HE’S DEAN’S NUMBER 1 FAN!!!). Also their approach in preparing for a scene and how it fits their characters so well was truly interesting. Jared endlessly preparing and researching, just like Sam. While Jensen does it more on instinct, just like Dean. Gotta say here, that this is why I’m a Jensen/Dean fan. You notice that in his performance all the time and the authenticity he brings to each of Dean’s emotions is always tugging at my heartstrings.

Remembering Kim is always so sweet. They have so many nice things to say about Kim and I found it touching that they’re honoring him so much and credit him for their success.

JENSEN LOVES STRANGER THINGS!!! :D

The boys teasing Heather… from… Colorado. I’m laughing so hard. I love that they do this kind of thing (though I’d probably die if they started teasing me like that at the mic). The tease and joke with us fans, like we’re really friends/family.

Jared sharing so much about his struggles and his family is always special. I admire him for being so open and I’m thankful for everything he shares with us.

Jensen acknowledging that it’s good that people don’t feel ashamed of getting help, that it’s not about that person being crazy or that there’s something wrong with them. Acceptance is the biggest thing he wants to teach his children and I admire that. Also how his children should feel love and give love is a beautiful thing to say and to live by.

That they use gifs of themselves so often, especially Jared with the Loreal one, is so funny to me.

Jensen geeking out that they’re so popular because there’s so many gifs of SPN – WHAT A CUTIE OMG!

Jensen joking with that girl when she says her favorite gif is the one of Crowley saying “I torture all my friends, it’s how I show love.” His reaction: “What does that say about you? I like it. Text me. Colorado Heather has my number.” I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA

Jensen & classic rock – YES! “I named my kid Zeppelin!” LOL.

“I like big butts.” – “I’ve put everything I have into Sam.” … Lots of dirty jokes and innuendo. Gotta love them.

“What would Dean do?” … Jensen totally is Dean’s number 1 fan.

I like how respectful Jensen speaks about Bob Singer’s directing. No matter what you think about Singer personally, I love how much Jensen admires other people’s skills and praises their good work.

Good points from Jared about Sam and Jack’s relationship as well. Especially liked how Jared said we don’t actually really know where Sam stands right now. It’s truly unclear how much Sam is about using Jack or caring about him and what he expects from taking Jack under his wing.

LET’S KEEP PUSHING FOR THE SPN MOVIE!!

The last question: Love that the scene with Baby’s backseat wasn’t scripted!

Bottom line: I really enjoyed both panels. J2 were in a great mood and there were some really interesting questions. Watching the panels made me wish that it’s February already so I can be at a con again and enjoy their panels in person <3

#j2 #SPNNOLA 2017 #NOLACON 2017 #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #my thoughts #double standards #annoy the hell out of me #loved their panels

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sinkingintoomanyfandoms · 7 years

Text

Shattered (Crankiplier)

Summary-

After Ethan gets hate comments he begins to doubt himself and his insecurities shine to a new light. Mark knows something's wrong and is determined to help his blue angel.Both are crushing on each other but neither are willing to confess . But after Mark reads the comments he's fueled by anger and makes a youtube video accidently confessing his love.

Third person Pov

Ethan was just reading through comments of his channel Crankgameplays. He read through them with a small smile as he came across a specific comment telling him he had helped them get through their depression. Knowing he helped someone even if it was just a bit made his heart swell with joy he had always been insecure about making a difference in life.

Those insecurities are still there just not nearly as strong as the blue haired YouTuber continued scrolling through the comments of his newest video his radiating smile turned into a heartbroken expression.

Do you hear that It’s the sound of nobody caring

Lol nobody could ever love you

Kys

Is it just me or is Ethan getting fat? No offense.

It’s not like he wasn't used to hate comments, in fact, that was just part of being a YouTuber but the hate comments had never been nearly as harsh or merciless.

Ethan’s

Pov

They are true, though ….. nobody cares about me much less love me. And would anyone even notice if I was suddenly gone? Probably not and it is true I have gained a couple of pounds.

Was it really that noticeable? Was I really that fat? I already knew the answer standing up from my computer chair that I usually film my videos at I pulled up my striped T-shirt. I pinched and prodded at my slightly toned stomach looking for non-existent body fat. I sat down as tears streamed down my face why hadn’t someone told me how fat I had gotten?

A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts I couldn’t let anyone see how weak I was especially Mark who I have a crush on. He wouldn't care about me anyways he’d only make fun of me my subconscious said. Mark opened my bedroom door and approached me.

‘’ Ethan I’ve been invited to a youtube event dinner and I was wondering if you'd like to come with ‘’ Mark asked.

The comments were racing through my mind over and over opening new wounds and insecurities.

‘’ Sorry Mark I have to edit videos ‘’ I lied.

Mark spun my computer chair around forcing my light green iridescent eyes to meet his unique chestnut brown eyes. As soon as he saw me his gaze changed to that of concern.

‘’ Ethan...have you been crying ?’’ Mark’s deep voice asked somewhat softly.

Oh god, he caught me but I can’t let him know about the comments.

‘’ Haha no of course not it’s just allergies ‘’

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid you couldn't think of anything else could you Ethan? Mark looked at me with a knowing gaze and I knew I hadn't fooled him.

‘’ Ethan I've known you long enough to know it’s not just allergies. Now please tell me what’s wrong .’’

‘’ Mark I am fine and nothing's wrong but you should probably get going to that event otherwise you’ll be late ‘’

‘’ Fine I suppose you're right just know that this isn't we’ll continue this conversation when I get back ‘’ Mark had said it so determinedly that I knew there was no arguing.

‘’ Fine ‘’ I sighed

‘’ Bye Ethan ‘’ he said before running out of the apartment Tyler, Mark, and I share.

‘’ Bye ‘’ I whispered.

I shut my computer before lying in bed skipping dinner. I fell asleep with thoughts of youtube and the horrible comments raiding my mind.

Marks

pov

Something was completely and utterly wrong with Ethan and I knew it. Ethan had a tendency to hide things behind a fake smile when he was upset or conflicted. I had seen something flicker in his unique light green eyes.

Everyone had always said that eyes were the window to the soul and that especially applied to Ethan. Yet today there was no spark no mischievous glint ….no nothing they were just devoid of life almost empty.

And that alone scared me to death, my blue angel, my reason to live, ….my life had given up. I knew he had been crying no matter how much he had tried to hide it I had noticed the tear stains as well as his eyes darkening a shade.

Had I done something wrong, had the playful insults become too much, had he gotten tired of me, and most of all had the stress of Youtube finally gotten to him? Oh god, I sure hoped not but like I said I would find out there was absolutely no way I would let this slide.

If someone or something was troubling Ethan it had just become my problem as well as my main concern. No one and I mean nothing gets away with harming my Ethan.

All I need to do now is suffer through this event and then I can come home and find out what had been troubling Ethan.

I arrived at the dinner and sat by Tyler. Tyler knows about my crush on Ethan.

‘’ Where’s Ethan ?’’ Tyler asked I just gave him a worried look before speaking.

‘’ I tried getting him to go but when I asked him he declined but he had tear streaks on his face he had clearly been crying but played it off as allergies ..it obviously wasn't allergies Tyler something's wrong with him and I’m worried .’’

Tyler stared at me for a moment as if he was pondering my stupidity before finally speaking.

‘’ Mark what the hell are you even doing here? Ethan clearly needs you whatever he’s hiding must be serious I can take your place meeting the fans but you need to go find Ethan .’’ I nodded quickly desperate to find Ethan.

‘’ Thanks, Tyler ‘’ I said while getting up from my seat.

‘’ No problem and hey Mark ?’’

‘’ Yeah ?’’

‘’ You need to tell him before it’s too late ‘’

‘’ I know I’ll try ‘’

With that said I ran to my car and started driving as fast as I could tripping once or twice along the way.

(Time skip at home )

As I approached Ethan's room I found him sound asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him he looked so adorable his electric blue hair was sprayed across his face while his long arms hung limply off the bed. I looked around the room and found his computer curious as to what video Ethan had edited I opened the computer to find Ethan’s recent video.

But that’s not what caught my attention what caught my attention was the comment section……..

I nearly cried I honestly nearly cried as I read some of the many comments.

You're ugly why don’t you go kill yourself

you're only famous because of Mark

Do you hear that It’s the sound of nobody caring Lol nobody could ever love you Kys Is it just me or is Ethan getting fat? No offense.

Rage, regret, love, and sorrow filled me all at once. I felt rage towards the many people who had commented these vile things quite honestly it made me want to find these people one by one and make them regret ever hurting my blue angel.

The feeling of regret was strong because I had teased Ethan many times sometimes I took it a little too far and who knows what horrible things could be running through his mind by now.

I felt love for Ethan he had been through so much and yet he still acted happy for others. He was just so selfless and adorable I could be having the worst day ever and one look at him made my day.

But most of all I felt sorrow for not realizing sooner, sorrow forever teasing Ethan, sorrow at just thinking about what Ethan had gone through, and lastly, I felt sorrow for the people who couldn't grasp how truly amazing Ethan is.

Scheming an idea I softly set Ethan’s computer down and walked out the door but not before I looked at Ethan one last time.

I ended up in my studio where I record video’s I took a deep breath before looking at the camera. As soon as the camera started recording I started with my usual intro.

‘’Hello everyone Markiplier here ‘’I gave a little wave before becoming serious once more

‘’ This video isn't about gaming or anything funny in fact it’s quite important. Lately, my friend Ethan or Crankgameplays as you know him has been staying with me. Anyways he’s been gaining a lot of subscribers lately and as you know more subscribers come with more hate as well. But the hate he’s been getting is overwhelming there are people telling him to kill himself! And before you say anything you would regret no he didn't tell me about the hate I found out myself. The hate needs to stop and it needs to stop now! I …… can’t lose him because the truth is ….I-I love him. If something were to ever happen to him I would never be the same and Markiplier would be no more. At this point, I don’t care whether or not you support it if you do thank you if not then why are you still on my channel? Anyways this is a warning quit posting hate comments. Oh, and for those who ship Crankiplier your one more step closer to it becoming reality I can only hope he won’t reject me .‘’

After pouring my heart out over camera I titled the video ‘ATTENTION viewers’ before uploading the video.

Ethan’s

Pov

My phone gave off a quiet ding alerting me of my notifications, sighing I yawned and then stretched my arm across my bed to reach my phone on the nightstand. Turning it on I was surprised to see youtube had alerted me of a new video from Mark.

Clicking on it I was surprised to see the video titled ‘ATTENTION viewers '. This must be important because Mark rarely ever does serious videos. I was surprised to see the video had 1,101,760 views it had just been uploaded a little while ago. So why does it have so many views? Deciding to watch the video I tapped the play button and waited for it to start.

‘’Hello everyone Markiplier here ‘’ Mark gave a little wave but I frowned something about this seemed off.

‘’ This video isn't about gaming or anything funny in fact it’s quite important. Lately, my friend Ethan or Crankgameplays as you know him has been staying with me. ‘’What does this have to do with me? He seems so serious there's no way this is just about me staying with him. ‘’ Anyways he’s been gaining a lot of subscribers lately and as you know more subscribers come with more hate as well. ‘’ Oh god please please please tell me he didn’t find out about the hate comments! But the hate he’s been getting is overwhelming there are people telling him to kill himself! ‘’

I shuddered Mark found out he freaking found out. A-and now everyone's gonna think I’m some wimp that needs Mark to protect me!

’’ And before you say anything you would regret no he didn't tell me about the hate I found out myself .’’ I gave a sigh of relief at least some of my fears hadn’t been exploited.

’’ The hate needs to stop and it needs to stop now!’’

Just because you made a video about it doesn't mean it’s gonna stop if anything It will only become worse.

’’I …… can’t lose him because the truth is ….I-I love him. If something were to ever happen to him I would never be the same and Markiplier would be no more. At this point, I don’t care whether or not you support it if you do thank you if not then why are you still on my channel? Anyways this is a warning quit posting hate comments. Oh, and for those who ship Crankiplier your one more step closer to it becoming reality I can only hope he won’t reject me .‘’

The video ended and I was left in shock. He loves me?! Mark Fischbach loves me ..there's there's just no way. Yes, I love him but I never expected him to return my feelings. T-this must be some sick prank I mean why would someone as amazing as Mark ever love me? I mean I’m practically worthless. Yet why would he have gone through all this trouble if he hadn’t meant it? Ugh, it was so hard battling with myself why was this so hard ?!

‘’ Ethan get it through your head he does not love you !!’’ I hadn't expected anyone to reply so when I heard a familiar voice reply I almost yelped in fright.

‘’ What if I told you were wrong ?’’

Had Mark seriously just said that?! And if so does he truly mean it? Or is he just pitying me because of all the hate? I hate pity it’s not like their actually sorry for you there not sympathizing for you if anything it’s the complete opposite there sorry for you for their own personal gain. If it doesn't involve the person or doesn’t give them an advantage or personal gain you can consider yourself complete trash because that’s how they act towards you after.

I sighed I knew he was only pitying me he didn’t really love me. Him loving me was like a fairy tale completely and utterly pointless besides the moral and my story was telling me to get my head out of the clouds. I looked Mark straight in the eye before speaking what was on my mind something I rarely ever do.

‘’ Mark I’m not wrong you are. You don’t love me and we both know it if this is out of pity I would prefer if you didn’t pity me or confess just to make me feel better about myself. I appreciate it Mark I honestly do but I would rather hurt than to have a relationship built off of pity and lies .’’

Mark only looked at me with shocked eyes quite honestly he looked funny the way he kept gaping as well as opening and closing his mouth made him look insane but I knew he was only trying to find the right words.

‘’ Look at me Ethan ‘’ When I refused to look at him he gently lifted my chin forcing me to look at him.

‘’ Ethan I can tell you this and I would never lie to you. This isn't out of pity I love you I love all your flaws and imperfections. I love all your curves, features, and everything in between. I've loved you for as I could remember and I’ll continue to do so for as long as you need because no one could ever take your place I love you and only you. I've waited for you this long I can continue to wait.’’

Tears welled up in my bright green eyes at Mark's confession it was so honest there wasn't a single lie I was able to detect. I-I….im just so happy and relieved so many emotions are running through me right now I’m not even able to process them all. I hugged him and after a moment his muscular arms wrapped around my thin frame. It felt so right the way his arms fit in all my curves it was like a puzzle piece as if this was meant to happen. I especially loved the warm feeling that came with Mark being near me. Shaking off feelings of uncertainty I mustered all of my courage and uttered one thing.

‘’ I ...I love you Mark ‘’

I expected him to leave, yell, unfriend me, do something! Yet all he did was nuzzle his face in my neck and place a soft chaste kiss there.

‘’ I love you too my blue angel. ‘’

Time Skip

It had been about a week since Mark and I had started dating it was amazing each and every second of it. He had long since found out about me skipping dinner and worries beyond belief he even cooks meals and makes sure I eat each and every one. The constant reassurance, love, and caringness I had received had been the best days of my life although I hate worrying him. I appreciate each and every second of it I appreciate Mark ….I absolutely love Mark he’s made my life so much better in every way.

I had only saw darkness in my life and then Mark came into my life changing everything I had once known as my world evolved in color.

Even though Mark and I had an amazing newfound relationship the hate comments would still come just not as frequently. We had both lost some subscribers but had also gained new ones which were mostly a bunch of Crankiplier fangirls. It made me happy to think that many people support our relationship and had even come up with a ship name.

But I also couldn't help but have the feeling that I don’t deserve Mark many comments had said I was using Mark in every way possible …..that I’m only dating him for subscribers and that he deserves so much better. Yet he always brushed off all of my concerns. Whenever I brought up the subject he would cut me off by smothering me in multiple kisses and I would get lost in his mesmerizing deep chocolate eyes.

‘’ My blue smol bean!’’ I heard Mark ask from the living room.

‘’ Yes Markimoo ?! ‘’ I smirked knowingly because he had always hated the nickname he only allows me to call him it and even then it depends on what mood he’s in.

‘’ Baby come watch a movie with me ‘’ Even though I was all the way upstairs and he was in the living room I could practically hear the begging tone and see the adorable little pout he always had when something didn't go his way.

‘’ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneee I suppose but only because I love you so much ‘’ I said lovingly before joining Mark on the couch. As soon as I sat down next to him he propped me up and cradled me in his lap.

‘’ What do you wanna watch ?’’

‘’ Mmmhmmm I don’t care you can choose ‘’ I said while burrowing myself deeper in his lap. He nodded faintly before choosing The Flash on Cw.

As the show progressed I couldn’t help but think about the many comments. They were revolving in my head round and round never leaving me at peace. Mark seemed to sense my doubt because he took my hand in his own larger own and kissed it before proceeding to kiss my collarbone giving me chills.

‘’ I’ve told you, Ethan, you're perfect and I’ll dedicate my life to make you feel exactly what you are…...’’

He let a hot breathy whisper trail across my cheek before continuing.

‘’Absolutely perfect .‘’

And for the first time in what seems like forever, I actually believed what Mark had said.

‘’ And you’ll always be perfect to me ‘’

24 notes · View notes

sadrien · 7 years

Text

goodbyes & hellos

on ao3

im so so so late but hey this is for first day of prompt week for @thinkoutsidethelovesquare!!!! day one: wrong number

this was a lot of fun tbh and ive been dying to write this ship. alyas texts are italicized, adriens are underlined on ao3, just bold here bc tumblrs a butt. shoutout to @reyxa for the title <3

enjoy!

Alya narrows her eyes at the new message that lights up her phone. It’s an unknown number that she doesn’t recognize — not that she’s given her number to anyone recently — and it’s also seven in the morning . Anyone how knows her at all should know that she doesn’t wake up before at least nine on the weekends. (And that has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn’t sleep during the week and tends to go to bed after two in the morning.)

She groans as another message shows up on the screen. She squints and lets the messages flow in, figuring she can tell the person they’ve got the wrong number after they’ve finished whatever they have to say. Or she can decide that it’s unimportant and ignore it and go back to sleep.

She likes her second plan the best.

unknown number: Hi!

unknown number: Just wanted to let you know the start time for today has been moved from 10 to 9:15

unknown number: My father has a meeting at 1300 so he wants to get it all done as soon as possible

unknown number: And I know you mentioned wanting to have him on set yesterday

unknown number: I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience! Your agent should be calling you soon, but I thought I’d give you a heads up

Alya squints at the screen. She doesn’t want to care but she’s curious. And curiousity killed the cat and all that but she’s used to letting her nosiness get the best of her.

unknown number: agents???

unknown number: 1st of all srry u have the wrong number

unknown number: 2nd of all were u talking to a movie star or smth???????

unknown number: book writer??

unknown number: what kinda person needs an agent

unknown number: Oh I’m sorry! I must’ve gotten the wrong number from someone

unknown number: I’m really sorry if I was bothering you

Alya rolls her eyes.

unknown number: u woke me up but its chill cause now im curious

unknown number: Curious? About what?

unknown number: way 2 keep avoiding the question

unknown number: ???

unknown number: u said the person u meant to text has an agent

unknown number: how fancy r they

unknown number: Oh! She’s a model!

Alya’s eyes widen. The most famous person she knows is that thirteen year old that was in her school who has ten thousand subscribers on YouTube because she makes lyric videos. The second is a boy who has a few thousand instagram followers because he has nice abs and lots of white boy clothing and muscle shirts.

unknown number: u kno a model????????

unknown number: Uhh

unknown number: I’m not sure how much personal information I should be giving to a stranger

Alya sighs. So close.

unknown number: its fine dude (dude? u good w that? lmk if u arent) i getchu

unknown number: u can just stop responding if u dont wanna talk

She locks her phone and slides it back under her pillow. She stares at the ceiling for a few more minutes, wondering if she’ll be able to fall back asleep. As much as she’d like to take the train back to dreamville, she can’t. Because now she’s awake and now she’s wondering. And once she stops wondering, she doesn’t stop.

She’ll probably stop thinking about this random wrong number in a few days and in a few months, she’ll forget about them entirely but…

Ugh.

Sleep definitely isn’t an option anymore.

Leaving her phone in her bed, she pads to the kitchen, twisting her hair up into a messy bun as she does so. No one is up yet — of course they aren’t, it’s seven on a Saturday and everyone is taking advantage of every precious minute of sleep they can get — so she has the run of the house to herself.

So she makes herself some coffee and a bowl of cereal and turns to television on. Her initial plan is to just leave it on whatever channel that’s playing when she first turns it on, and luckily the twins were the last ones to use it. Saturday morning cartoons. Score.

Alya stirs sugar in her coffee as Cyber Chase plays in the background. It’s not much more than background noise, it’s the middle of an episode and she doesn’t really know what’s happening, but she does snort at a few of the bad jokes.

“You’re up early,” her mom says before dropping a kiss on the top of Alya’s head.

Alya hums. “Got a few text messages and they woke me up.” She notes how her mom purposefully avoids eye contact as she opens a cabinet. Alya rolls her eyes and eats a spoonful of cereal.

“School friends?” her mom asks carefully.

“Yes,” Alya lies. Better than her mom asking more questions. The biggest one being why were you talking to a complete stranger?

“Are you going to see them before we leave?”

Alya glues her eyes to the TV. “If they’re around.”

Her mom makes an unimpressed sound and Alya resists the urge to roll her eyes. She texted a few of her friends the other week, but the conversation was awkward and stilted. They all had the same sort of idea about cutting ties.

Alya sighs and puts down her spoon, twisting around in her seat to face her mom. “I promise I’m talking to them.”

Her mom gives her that look— the one where her lips purse and a crease between her eyebrows that’s becoming more and more permanent; the one that says she wants to push for more details, but won’t unless they’re volunteered first. Which Alya is not doing, thank you very much. “If you say so, honey,” her mom says, turning her attention to the breakfast she’s making.

Alya stares down into her cereal bowl.

Time to evacuate to her bedroom.

She finishes her cereal as quickly as she can without choking and dumps her bowl and spoon in the sink as she passes it, taking her coffee with her to her room. New plan: curl up in bed with her laptop and hope her mom just leaves her alone until they move.

Alya’s almost forgotten about her phone by the time she flops onto her bed. It vibrates almost as soon as she opens her laptop. She frowns as she pulls it out from under her pillow.

unknown number: Dude is fine for me

unknown number: He/him pronouns please

unknown number: Thanks for asking I really appreciate it, actually

unknown number: People don’t always ask

Plan trashed. This is a better plan.

unknown number: she/her for me

unknown number: and no prob man

unknown number: i wasnt gonna assume ur gender

unknown number: ok that mightve sounded bad but i didnt mean it in a bad way like the ‘lol dont assume my gender’ way jerks do sometime i meant it in like a genuine

unknown number: if u have smth u wanna say u should say it because i am very tired and i can go on for a while

Whoops.

Alya can’t say she’s known for her stellar first impressions but she usually doesn’t ramble her way into an awkward corner. She mindlessly flips through apps as she waits for a response.

unknown number: Don’t worry about it! I didn’t take it the wrong way or anything

Alya smiles to herself as she responds. He keeps leaving her openings which is nice. Based off his initial reaction, she thought he’d shut this down as fast as possible.

She realizes this is probably a little weird. But it’s the most exciting thing to happen to her since school let out so…

unknown number: so whats up stranger??

unknown number: b4 u ask im just sitting in my room doing nothing but text u so thats my morning

unknown number: I actually have work soon, so that’s fun

Alya raises her eyebrows. She forgot age was something else she didn’t know yet.

unknown number: oo work that sounds fun

unknown number: what do u do???

unknown number: I work for my dad, it isn’t anything special

unknown number: But it gives me something to do with my time so I don’t mind that much

unknown number: If I randomly stop responding without warning, that’s why

unknown number: good 2 kno

unknown number: can i ask what u do 4 ur dad or is that 2 personal

unknown number: I uh… I just do whatever he needs me to do

unknown number: I don’t get paid or anything but

unknown number: ay it still works as a resume builder

unknown number: Yeah exactly!

unknown number: thats cool that ur dad can get u a job!! my mom and dad could never w their jobs so i just suffer

unknown number: not that thats any different from what i would do anyway as a teenager

Alright, perfect. She’s brought up the age question in a really clunky and awkward way. Better than nothing.

unknown number: Oh how old are you?

unknown number: I’m 15

Alya lets out a sigh of relief.

unknown number: ayy same!

unknown number: just ur fav teenage superhero blogger

unknown number: doing nothing with her life

unknown number: You like superheroes?

unknown number: yeah!! i love comic books. you??

unknown number: I don’t have time to read many but yeah! I’ve always loved Spiderman

unknown number: wonder woman is my g i r l

unknown number: superheroes are just so cool

She waits a few minutes before she decides that he must have gone off to work. Bonding over superheroes, that’s good. A shared interest. She scrolls through their conversation, rereading some of the earlier messages before she creates a contact for him. She makes the name ‘stranger’ and leaves it at that.

It’s not like they’re meeting up or anything. Even if he is an ax murderer, can’t kill her if she never sends him her location.

Alya spends the next couple of hours avoiding her mom as much as possible. She takes her sisters to the park and then goes to the library after she brings them home.

She doesn’t want to talk about it.

She’s clicking through a webcomic that she missed a few weeks worth of updates when her phone buzzes. She glances down, expecting it to be a text from her mom asking if she has any plans or to do chores or something, but is pleasantly surprised to see a message from her stranger.

stranger: Sorry about that, work ran long

stranger: Admittedly, I don’t know very much about Wonder Woman, but she looks very awesome

unknown number: !!!!

unknown number: when ive got more time remind me to tell u all abou t her

unknown number: and to rec some comic books even if u dont have time

stranger: Is she your favorite?

Alya sits back in her chair. This conversation is going to be a long one.

Alya finds herself randomly texting her stranger for the next few days. He doesn’t always respond quickly, but he responds eventually, no matter how weird her original message.

That’s more than she can say for most of her friends.

She texts him as she’s sitting on the counter in her kitchen, stirring a pot.

unknown number: hey stranger whats up

stranger: Just reading, you?

unknown number: making box mac n cheese

stranger: Sounds fun

unknown number: yeah im gonna eat it straight from the pot

The three dots bounce on the screen as the stranger takes his time with the next message. Alya snorts and turns off the stove, straining the pasta and moving to the fridge to find butter and cheese. He’s found his words by the time she’s letting the butter melt in the pot.

stranger: Straight from the pot? Why?

unknown number: because i live life on the edge

unknown number: and also because im too lazy to clean the dish later

stranger: You know what? That’s fair

Sometimes, Alya thinks that she probably shouldn’t think about someone who she doesn’t even know the name of as often as she does, let alone text him as much as she does. But sometimes she’ll see something, and she’ll immediately think of him. Or she’ll just be randomly upset and feel the strong urge to pick up the phone and see if he’s available to vent to.

She knows it’s kind of weird, but she can’t help herself.

One night, at around two in the morning, she finds herself messaging him.

unknown number: hey did i ever mention i was moving

She’s almost asleep, slightly more okay than she was before she sent the text, when he responds.

stranger: You haven’t but we also don’t talk about where we live

Alya stares at the screen for a long moment, the bright light in the darkness making everything on the screen blur into nothing. She just feels kind of numb.

unknown number: yeah

unknown number: like 8 hours away from where i live now

stranger: Wow that’s a big move

unknown number: yeah

stranger: I’m guessing you don’t want to go?

unknown number: not really

unknown number: did u know ur my only friend right now

stranger: I am?

unknown number: me and my other friends sort of cut ties

stranger: The internet exists

stranger: Phones exist

stranger: FaceTime and Skype both kind of suck, but they exist

unknown number: yeah i guess

unknown number: i guess its just too hard for any of us to try

stranger: I have no idea how far apart we live

stranger: We’re doing just fine

unknown number: yeah

unknown number: yeah ur right

One of Alya’s small comforts that comes to mind whenever she thinks about moving is the fact that she’ll have her phone on her and a portable charger. Her stranger will be with her every step of the way.

He’d managed to get her to talk to some of her friends. She doesn’t really think it’ll last once she’s in Paris, but the attempt is nice. And it gives her other people to talk to for the rest of the summer.

It’s too early in the morning when they leave for the last time for her to get really emotional about moving. All she has the energy to do is to take a picture of her old apartment, caption it ‘one last goodbye to marseille’, and save it before sending it to her friends over Snapchat. Before she falls asleep against the car window, she texts it to her stranger.

She wakes up to a new text among the goodbyes from her friends.

stranger: Have a nice car ride! I’ll let you know when I get back from work <3

Alya hides her smile from her sisters and screenshots the text for later.

She texts him from the floor of her new bedroom while her dad starts moving boxes. They’ve been in the process of moving for a while now, shipping most of their things to Paris beforehand. Now all that remains is the actual unpacking.

Alya doesn’t have the energy for that. She just lays on the floor and stares at the ceiling for a while. Then she picks up her phone and sends him a text.

It’s been about an hour since they last talked. She’d talked to him for a good majority of the car ride, only stopping when he was busy and ending the conversation when they arrived so she could get her things out of the car and help her sisters with theirs. She’d sent him a picture of her empty bedroom and said ‘let the unpacking begin :P’. He’d responded with a ‘Good luck!!’ and ‘I’ll let you get to work!’

Alya’s thumb hovers over the send button for a few seconds. She’s never really pushed him for any sort of personal information before.

New city, new Alya. Or something.

unknown number: hey just wondering

unknown number: what do u have me in ur phone as??

unknown number: i have u in here as stranger

stranger: Your contact name?

stranger: Uh awkward but you don’t?

stranger: You’re the only one I just have the number for, so I know who you are that way

Alya reads his texts a few times before she responds. She doesn’t know what she expects in return, but she figures she has nothing to lose.

unknown number: im alya

unknown number: in case u were wondering

stranger: Hi Alya

stranger: I’m Adrien

#adrien agreste #alya cesaire #alyadrien #outsidethelovesquare #miraculous ladybug #my fics #oof its done

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