crazy to me that 600+ people just unfollowed you for like. having an argumented opinion. i understand emotional attachment to characters and/or a show but honestly, your asks have been 100% thought-provoking and 0% hateful to the people who enjoyed the show. i've seen the first season of the show before i read the book, if i recall it all correctly, but aziraphale and crowley are still pretty book version-ish in my head. overall, i'm just very glad to see someone fairly popular dislike the show. i had to create a whole new blog to rant about how much s2 sucked after i watched it, and i thought i would be kind of alone in that opinion, but now i'm reading through the good omens critical tag and smiling to myself in delight.

point is - s2 is a fever dream to me. i admire the delicate way you are handling all kinds of asks right now, because i was not that kind to the show At All in my rants.

It's about 750+ people now lol (the actual number must be more, because apparently I'm also gaining some followers)...to give them the benefit of the doubt, although I think the majority of my followers are Good Omens fans (I gained a lot of fans by doing art when season 1 came out), people who unfollowed me during my ask rampage aren't necessarily all angry Good Omens fans -- they may be people who followed me for another fandom that I never do art for anymore, or people who followed me for my only my art and not my takes. (Or, people who simply do not want to see tumblr asks......or bots that got deactivated? 😂) I know a lot of people weren't swelled to hear me say that I didn't want to see S3 made, so I take full responsibility for that one. Since I am a primarily Good Omens blog, I feel like I have to make my stance clear at some point......I guess if nobody asked me and then I never talked about the GO TV show ever again that's also a way -- but I felt strongly enough about it that I couldn't just pretend I was fine with it anymore. Thank you for your kind words.

reasons the QSMP admin situation might be taking so long to resolve

ONE: Discord.

Company communications happened over Discord. If people were using their personal accounts, which the company didn't have access to, trying to get DM logs out of people who have left or been fired and who may not be cooperating would be nearly impossible. Which means that if communications were happening in DMs, the studio may not have access to them at all. And things that Quackity Studios loses access to if they lose access to the private DMs of managers include:

Any promises regarding pay, promotions, or other compensation that was put in writing

Any discussion of responsibilities and/or employees job descriptions

Any paper trails of employee attempts to resolve issues or make complaints or otherwise seek help.

Any one of those things, let alone all of them, would be enough to cause an enormous logistical nightmare in terms of finding out what even happened.

TWO: Paypal.

The QSMP seems to have been using Paypal for transactions, according to the screenshots Lea posted. This is a terrible idea, for several reasons, including:

Paypal seizing funds and locking them arbitrarily is not uncommon

The records there are NOT meticulous and Paypal is opt-in for paper statements, which I doubt the studio did

PAYPAL IS NOT FDIC INSURED

It is very possible they weren't even using Paypal's invoicing system, leading to yet more problems with paper trails.

THREE: Taxes.

whatever amount of capital was initially invested in the QSMP is clearly not there now; Quackity has a year's worth of transactions which he needs to go through because proper procedures were not in place, with, as discussed, no paper trail

what employment entailed, what pay entailed, and what taxes were/were not paid may be one of the things he is seeking legal advice about

it is extremely possible that whoever was onboarding people was not in compliance with accepted HR procedures for legal employment

worse, it's extremely possible they were treating all employees/volunteers as contractors, but the working conditions that admins put forth sound a lot like de facto employment

which means depending on the number of US de facto employees, especially if compensation was promised, may put the QSMP out of compliance with US legal requirements for health insurance offerings

if anyone (who was a US citizen paying US taxes) got paid, were they issued W-2s or 1099s by the studio? Is Quackity facing down the April 15th tax filing date potentially out of compliance with federal requirements for the issuance of tax forms to contractors and employees?

AND THIS IS BEFORE EVEN GETTING INTO INTERNATIONAL REGULATIONS OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FRENCH.

Quackity cannot make promises of anything— not pay, not positions, not specific people being fired— or discuss proceedings before all of this is sorted out.

To be clear, this is not a defense of the studio. This is a condemnation in the strongest terms I can offer. Things should not have gotten to this point.

But if you're wondering what could possibly be taking so long, or why the discord has been locked down, or why they might be hesitant to fire managers who would have access to what limited paper trail might still exist— I expect this is part of it.

Also, if someone tells you they will pay you for something, get that in writing. In an email. I am going to go scream now and possibly start drinking.

♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

PRIDEFALL UPDATE: real or fake?

What is Pridefall?

Operation Pridefall, also known as Project Pridefall or simply Pridefall, refers to an attack planned by /pol/ (a political discussion board on the anonymous website 4chan) for all of June, AKA Pride month. The original 4chan thread, which has since been deleted, was primarily focused on “redpilling,” i.e. spreading queerphobic propaganda to make people question the LGBTQ+ community. However, now that it has spread outside 4chan, there are threats of harassing, doxxing, and outing queer people (especially minors) on social media, spamming gore and rape videos in private messages and Pride tags, and even kidnapping, assaulting, or killing queer people in real life.

Specific targets include Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps. The goal is to go after smaller accounts so the queerphobia isn’t lost in the comments.

Is Pridefall real?

Yes and no.

I searched “pridefall” on 4chan last night. Apparently any new threads on it are being deleted, and anytime someone mentions it, everyone calls them slurs and says no one is doing it.

However, Pridefall is gaining some traction on Instagram--I have seen it for myself. I don’t have TikTok or any dating apps, but I’ve heard that some people are spamming homophobia on TikTok. As for Twitter, I only looked briefly, but I saw some Pridefall accounts there, as well as a lot of warnings and blocklists from people who are worried about it.

I’ve also heard that there have been a few Reddit and Discord raids, and that there is an Operation Pridefall Discord server (someone who spied on them says they have been banned on Discord as well as a platform called Riot before, so very few people are left on the Discord server now).

What do you think, Lia?

This is not coming from 4chan. No one on 4chan is interested anymore.

Most likely, people outside of 4chan heard about it and decided to take matters into their own hands.

The original 4chan thread wanted to make Pridefall “normie-palatable” by avoiding Nazi imagery or other overt unpleasantness, but I have seen a LOT of both on Instagram. This reinforces my belief that 4chan isn’t doing this.

A lot of the people behind this are young, or at least unsophisticated. Most of the Pridefall accounts on Instagram engage in very childish trolling, and one of them said they were a minor. Some of the threats I’ve seen are so outlandish that I can only imagine they came from a fairly young person.

My guess? Most of these people are around 13-19.

There are also very few of them and some of them probably have multiple accounts. Anti-Pridefall accounts outnumber them by far.

However, on Instagram I’ve seen Pridefall accounts following each other and commenting on each other’s posts, so there may be a few groups working together.

A lot of this shit is going to get deleted. I know Instagram is working through reports very slowly right now because they have fewer people available due to COVID-19, but most of the worst accounts I saw last night were deleted by this morning. I saw some more accounts deleted today.

Most, if not all, of these Pridefallers are just trying to scare us. Because they’re probably quite young, there’s very few of them, their accounts keep getting deleted, and law enforcement can track online activity, there is no way they have the balls or resources needed to coordinate major attacks.

There is a very, very slight chance this could spill over into real life, but as long as you practice basic online safety, you will be fine.

That being said, if you are threatened or doxxed by a Pridefall account, PLEASE contact the police. Better safe than sorry.

I do think that the threat of being doxxed or outed is more real than the threat of being attacked. I have already seen one Pridefall account who posted a trans boy’s address on Instagram (he is okay, he posted recently) and another who posted someone else’s address.

There is little chance this will last throughout Pride month. Apparently the goal is for Pridefall to worsen until the end of June, but given that this is most likely just some vastly outnumbered teenage trolls who are bored in quarantine, I seriously doubt they’ll be able to stay interested for a whole month.

This might not be as big on Tumblr. Tumblr is a lot more anonymous than, say, Instagram, which will hopefully deter would-be doxxers. It’s also known to be a highly liberal and queer-friendly site, so any Pridefaller with half a brain cell should know that A) their content is sure to be outnumbered and reported (only us Tumblr users know how bad staff is at deleting questionable stuff), and B) anyone with the original goal of “redpilling” is sure to fail here. Plus, I only remember seeing few, if any, mentions of Tumblr on Pridefall planning threads.

Still, expect to see some Pridefall activity here. Unsurprisingly, not all of these Pridefallers have half a brain cell. Some of them will definitely be unable to resist the lure of a community as openly queer as Tumblr, and we’ve all seen or heard about doxxing, harassment, gore, Nazis, and queerphobes on here. Also, 4chan has historically had some beef with Tumblr, so young teenage boys who idolize 4chan may target us for that reason.

How can I stay safe?

If you have any social media accounts where you A) have posted identifying personal information, and B) are openly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community (especially if you’re queer yourself), put them on private for June. Any other accounts are probably fine to stay public.

If you need a private Tumblr, you can make a password-protected secondary account and only share the password with mutuals you trust.

It is probably okay to be openly queer on a private account (e.g. have pronouns/rainbow emojis in your Instagram bio), since a private account is not likely to be doxxed. But if you want to be extra careful, remove queer identifiers from anything that is publicly visible.

Use Pridefall blocklists. They’re all over Instagram and Twitter. I may repost some here.

Report any Pridefall accounts you see. This is VERY important because this is how we can actually get rid of Pridefall content.

DON’T RESPOND TO ANY PRIDEFALLERS WHO PERSONALLY INTERACT WITH YOU. I know it’s tempting to give a snarky reply, but if they message you, comment on your post, etc, just block them. Seriously, don’t feed the trolls. It's exactly what they want.

Make sure your password game is strong. Use a different password for every site (I know, I know, it sucks), and use passwordmeter.com to test their strength. Write them all down on a piece of paper.

Make sure your username game is strong. Don’t use the same username for multiple sites, and avoid putting personal information in your username, such as your name or birthday.

Do NOT open random links!! Pridefallers could message you links that will give you viruses or track your IP address.

Don’t accept DMs or follows from people you don’t know. Pridefall accounts don’t always look like Pridefall accounts. Some of them are undercover.

Use a VPN. This is probably a little overkill unless you’re particularly at risk of being doxxed, but it will hide your IP address.

Be careful who you interact with. A lot of queer people on Instagram are DMing Pridefall accounts or commenting on their posts, but this could make you a target. As helpful as anti-Pridefall accounts are, you might even be targeted for following those.

Be wary of Pride tags. Unfortunately, a lot of Pridefall accounts plan to infiltrate tags commonly used by queer creators during Pride month. Use discretion when looking for queer content.

Be safe IRL. Lock your doors, lock your windows, be aware of your surroundings, don’t walk alone in poorly lit places, know basic self-defense, etc. Again, I absolutely do not think people will be attacked in real life, but you should be doing this shit all the time, not just in June. Thanks to COVID-19, you’re safer inside anyway!!

Make yourself hard to dox. Even though I have a very unusual first name (it's not really Lia), I am extremely hard to find online. I just went into an incognito browser window and searched my first and last name in quotation marks, but I didn’t find myself until page 4 of Google (and that result wasn’t even posted by me). I’m only half as careful as I could be, but here’s some of the things I do:

-I never use a picture of myself as my profile pic, except for Facebook and Instagram, which are both on the highest privacy settings possible.

-If I post identifying information on a public account (my college, my age, etc), I use a pseudonym or my first name only.

-On Instagram, I only use my first name, and I used special characters to type it, so you won’t find me if you search my name.

-On Facebook, I only accept friend requests from people I know. Most, if not all, of my Instagram followers are IRL friends, friends of IRL friends, and trusted Internet friends.

-If I’m really being paranoid, I’ll make a brand-new email account to sign up for a site. That way, my accounts aren’t all linked through one email address.

-Before I post a picture online, I delete the EXIF data with verexif.com, since EXIF data can hold GPS coordinates.

🌈 Stay safe, everyone.

You will not be harmed. You will be okay. Like cockroaches, we are survivors, and we will get through this!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

-Mod Lia

Now that it's calm........

A lot went down and I want to apologize to everyone because that was not the intention whatsoever. I have not made commentary because I did not want to fuel the fire, nor was it my intention for others to become involved.

Let me make this very clear.

I AM NOT DOXXING ANYONE NOR AM I BITTER ABOUT BEING BLOCKED.

STAR'S CLAIMS ARE FALSE AND SHE IS PURPOSELY PAINTING ME AND MY FRIENDS AS VILLAINS BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR HER ACTIONS. THIS IS A PATTERN SHE CONSTANTLY HAS AND PREVIOUS PEOPLE SHE HAS KNOWN HAVE COME FORWARD SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT HER, SHE'S KNOWN TO CONSISTENTLY PLATFORM HOP TO AVOID ACCOUNTABILITY.

I blocked Starlatte first on Tumblr and then on Discord because she repeatedly crossed boundaries and as an adult, I felt the need to draw the line of communication there. The claims that I'm retaliating for being blocked are false and just straight petty.

The post I made was just to warn others and Star was never named in the post. SHE chose to publish Cherry's ask to publicize what was happening even after Cherry asked her to keep it private for her own safety.

I genuinely worry about Star, but she does not want to be helped, she wants to be enabled and a victim. I was civil with her, I really was. But I never claimed to be her best friend or ever said I would denounce the people she hates so much. When she first approached me about what-the-hazbin, I told her to prioritize her own mental health over my blog. She insisted she could handle it but still unfollowed me. I never took any negative interaction personally because she's a minor and I'm the adult.

Also, I am not affiliated with the people she pissed off earlier in the week due to her ignorance on the sex worker community. That's their beef and the fact that 2 different groups (fans and criticals) are saying the same things about her should be pretty telling.

(Readmore for more info but tbh, I don't like super long posts so I'm just going to ask that you DM me if you need me to clarify more)

Just.....take it from an adult who's already tried to deal with her nicely, do not personally interact with Star. She has an extreme parasocial relationship with Vivienne Medrano and just cannot keep being enabled by newcomers. We could've just blocked each other and left it at that but she always needs to be the victim and stir up drama, this is your warning sign if you've ever been hesitant about your interactions with her.

And yes, I still believe she is lying about her age. As I stated in my original post, someone already reported her blog under "harmful to minors". Again, if Star didn't blow this up as much as she did, nobody would know her dirty laundry. Tumblr isn't known for the best tech support, we all know this.

I believe she's lying about her age because she keeps miscalculating and claiming different ages. I know she's shown her "proof" but she's conveniently leaving out the part where she claims she was 12 in 2014 (meaning she's 19 turning 20). She also keeps switching between it being Autism that forced her to make the mistake in numbers, that her phone forced it, that her laptop forced it, that it's because Tumblr doesn't have autocorrect. It's a new lie for her everytime and she needs to stop being so harmful to herself and others. If doxxing was my intention, I would've done it without her consent. I wouldn't have allowed Cherry to reach out to her. Because yes, Cherry asked me if she could and I said it was fine but not to expect much since Star does not want help. If I wanted to doxx her, I could've done it a long time ago because she's always posting too much personal information without any prompting. She's been approached about this before and is hostile to anyone who points this out with an excuse that she's a minor, has Autism, is a POC, etc etc

I know Star's patterns and know for a fact she's been making posts about me after blocking me herself. I know this because again, I've seen her do it multiple times to other people. I took this chance when I blocked her and knew she'd throw a fit as soon as she saw that I was still civil with the people she wants everyone to hate. Which again, she wasn't supposed to see in the first place due to being blocked.

Feel free to verify the information about me yourself, I'm really sorry everyone that got involved had to be in the first place. But I promise you, Star is not a victim of abuse from her former friends. She's the main one with the abusive and manipulative behavior with the idea that she can control people and Vivienne Medrano.

Original "call out" post (April 21st, 2021): https://siaesnow.tumblr.com/post/649085106252890112/this-is-serious-yall-someone-ive-been

My archive for the month of April 2021 : https://siaesnow.tumblr.com/archive/2021/4

Letter to The Truly Like Lightning Book Club

I’m a person who likes to write, but I know I sometimes make spelling or grammatical mistakes which annoy people. I apologize in advance.

I do tend to be pretty open and honest about my feelings and I do feel deeply.

I kind of like social media to be upbeat and positive. I don’t really like to knock it too much when it isn’t. What’s the point!? Social Interaction between humans is sometimes problematic no matter what form it takes.

I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When it is triggered I have a flight response. On Twitter that means making my Twitter footprint smaller. I want to be smaller to protect myself. Yesterday, though, it seemed like I was being told that as small as my footprint had gotten, I wasn’t small enough. What do I do now? How small can I go before I’m gone.

I truly don’t know where to go with something that is not a life threatening problem, not a rocket science issue, but is a little thing about a book club. I believe it was The Who who sang this is not a social crisis, but just another tricky day for you. This morning is a Tricky day. I am really wondering...

Do we cancel the book club?

Do we have a steering committee to organize it differently?

Do we go off twitter?

Do we have a different facilitator?

Should I leave social media, maybe shave my head and take a vow of silence?

How I feel about this is extremely foolish and really desperately sad with just a smidge of anger.

I feel foolish because I thought the book club was going really, really well. I have loved the discussion. It has deepened my understanding of the book which I already enjoyed. It’s been fun. Imagine my surprise to find out there are issues. The sad and angry piece is a little complicated. So let me put the issues out first since that is what the club needs to discuss today. This is the fourth book club I have facilitated on Twitter. It has been my most pleasant experience until today. Every club has been formatted exactly the same. Apparently this one might need some restructuring.

1. When is the appropriate amount of time following a book’s publication to allow to pass before doing a public book club where people who may not be in the book club could still see the discussion? People who might read the book in the future or had started the book and wasn’t as far along might have spoilers. It’s a valid concern, but Twitter isn’t known for being a spoiler free zone. If a program drops on the East Coast two hours before my time, before I can watch spoilers exist on Twitter. However this book dropped February 2 and we waited until March 1st to begin the book club. We have a # but when people respond they don’t always use the #. Also some people don’t follow me and they are not part of the book club but because people retweet the questions they were showing up on people’s timeline when they didn’t want them there. So the compromise we arrived at was no body can retweet any question or response and every response must have the #. I’m still confused, though, about the rules. Movies/television =immediate spoilers acceptable, books= a month to six weeks is too soon. I was told it’s not a matter of rules but being nice. Ok. I want to be nice but what is the appropriate time because sometimes I don’t read a book for years? If we postpone the book club for six months, a year, three years, thirty? With the compromise reached, why do I care? Because why are we being so quiet and circumspect about a book I think people ought to know about and read. Sometimes social media helps create a buzz. What a shame that a book club that is reading the book critically and in depth is, to some degree, being told to not be so loud because, you know, Twitter is a spoiler free zone. To be clear, I think the persons who raise the concerns did so for legitimate reasons and out of concerns for future readers of the book, but when we talk about the reasons I am sad and angry you will see why this upset me we much. it’s not their fault but I responded poorly and I’m still coming down from my PTSD spiral.

2. Perhaps, the problem is that Twitter isn’t the appropriate forum for a book club. Maybe Discord or private messages or zoom. Yes. This is the fourth book club I’ve hosted on Twitter. I was asked in March last year if I would start a book club due to quarantine. They’ve all been successful so far. Why do I feel so silenced? Again I don’t think the person who suggested this meant anymore than oh, let’s solve the spoiler problem. But I have a particular reason for not wanting to be silenced.

3. Some people have read the full book already and want to talk about the book in its entirety. I see that. I really do. I just have never had a book club like that. That means waiting longer. Some people like the chapter a day. Should we do multiple book clubs ?

4. Are the questions too serious? The subject matter is complex. Would a different facilitator be more appropriate? One who wouldn’t highlight the controversial and serious issues!

Why am I sad and a little angry? Why did my PTSD kick in outside of it being a bad year and a stressful time at work and I’m tired? Haven’t had a day off I a long while. (No complaints I have a job). I’m tired.

April 2017 I started the Twitter account @hearteyes4david. I had help but it was mostly me. I kind of love David Duchovny’s writing. I have blogged about it and have said someday he will have a break out novel. I believe Truly Like Lightning should be it. But the account showed love for all things David and I believe it gave some fans some fun. I enjoyed being a part of it. We had newsletters and contests. But for me, I an first and foremost a fan of David’s writing. I write. I admire writers. His writing should not be diminished by his other careers. In March of last year with the lock down I was asked to facilitate a Miss Subways book club, then the lock down went on so we did his other two books. Twitter and hearteyes have been my happy place in this year. It’s hard when your happy place feels threatening.

I was fortunate enough to get an advance digital copy of the book to read. Wow. Different! Great! It is not because I am 😍. This is one of the best books I’ve read this century. I am an avid reader. I have a critical eye. I wrote a spoiler free review. Almost immediately a fan contacted me. Because of spoilers you shouldn’t have posted this. Why don’t you do a DM for those who are interested? Don’t do spoilers. It’s a spoiler free review. This fan continued to tell me that it would be best not to post about the book. ( you know, spoilers). Then fans who had not read the book but knew for a fact that every other page was full of sex scenes and drugs and it was essentially exactly like Californication (not remotely) started saying nothing should be posted on the 😍 page about this book. Then a fan who hadn’t read it complained about how it handled religion and said it would cause her personal pain to see anything about this book on the 😍 page. I kept saying. I actually don’t care if you read it or not. My suggestion is you mute, block or unfollow the account if you don’t like the content. “But the pain, could we at least not do the book club? “. 🥺🥺🥺. I was convinced that rather than have the controversy on the 😍 page I would choose to leave my happy place account I had created to start a small account and my fan related activities became far more focused. It might not seem like much, but the decision to leave 😍 was hard, but I wanted to talk about this book. These aren’t the only reasons but the three pronged fans really angry at me for a book I didn’t write which wasn’t even published yet was challenging during the holiday season of 2020. I made my Twitter footstep smaller. I passed the account to Charmion who is doing great.

So then I waited till March to talk about the book. In the meantime “fans” who hadn’t read the book, immediately started to spread lies and mistruths about the book including selective out of context screen shots. So much for “Spoilers”. Still I waited until March. So now I have a smaller account followed by 100 people which very few “super fans” know about and about 5-7 of us are talking about this book. That’s it. For 18 days we have discussed the difficult, complex flawed characters and how the book demonstrates that these characters actions caused harm to other characters and yet left us with empathy for all. We have not always agreed. It’s a book club. Reading one chapter a day.

Yet somehow we are too loud. My tweets were being retweeted. You know, have to be concerned about spoilers. Were there 15 hate filled tweets from people who shared screen caps they were sent of random out of context paragraphs, people who proudly say they haven’t read the book, don’t need to, they’re experts, 15 for every one of mine. Of course. But I’m too loud. You know. Spoilers

So I am sad. Desperately so. I walked away from an account I had poured a lot of love into because I believed in a book I wanted to talk about. After being pretty involved in the fandom, my current activities are pretty narrowed. I’m not sure I can continue to facilitate the book club. I guess my days involved in “fandom” outside of being a fan are drawing to a close. My happy place is kind of gone.

I’m angry because this book deserves to be critically read on its merits. I’m angry because I don’t like my voice to be silenced. I’m angry because I think there are fans who actually like the book who are in fact concerned about spoilers, but they don’t realize by silencing or at least quieting the discussion of fans who have read and want to discuss the book, they are only allowing the space for the haters voices to be heard. I’m angry at myself because every step of the way I should have handle this differently. I’m angry because I shouldn’t care so much. It’s not a Jan 6 insurrection, climate change, or world peace. It’s a book by an author who don’t need me to fight these battles.

Finally I’m simply confused about where or what to do. With an account of 100 followers some people who don’t follow me think I’m too loud because I’m posting about something they don’t want on their feed (David’s book) and someone might repost me. Because I feel threaten by people telling me too get smaller my response is to try and get smaller. So I shouldn’t post about David’s book because there are people in he fandom who don’t want to see posts about David’s book. Ok. I should come on Twitter and never interact because that way no one will ever see a post from me they don’t want to see🤷‍♀️. Mercy, I’m on a lobbyist, have you guys seen the political stuff I post on my other account? Yep, probably just the fandom stuff I need to walk away from except for, you know, being a fan, but never discussing it.

Livestream~ (corpse_husband x reader)

Alright, I’ve skipped ahead a few prompts because I’ve been just too excited to write out this idea and I was falling behind... so I will be going back, but I’ve skipped to my day 9 prompt. Slight (SLIGHT) exhibition. To reiterate the title, this is a oneshot about you and Corpse. I want to just say that this Corpse is him as a character and not him as a person. Think of a “fanon” version of some sorts. I know that the real Corpse is a very private person (obviously) and I would hate for him to be uncomfortable if he were to ever find this. I am really just writing this for comfort and the enjoyment of others. So, without further ado, enjoy!

Word Count: 5,958

Day 9 - Exhibition (Implied)

“Yo! YO! It’s Corpse! It’s fucking Corpse, holy shit-“

“What? Literally how?”

“I- fucking- I saw you legit go into electrical with pewds, leave, for me to then go up and find his body right next to the vent.”

“He was doing the upload task, I think, cuz’ I left him there when he was alive. You definitely self-reported.”

“Toast, you gotta believe me, it’s fucking Corpse.”

The arguments while playing this game were some of the most frustrating and yet exciting conversations you’d had in ages. Especially when it came down to the final two. That was the jackpot.

“Ah… nah, Fable, you’ve been super sus this entire round. There’s no way you did card swipe that quickly-“

“WHAT?!”

The two dings from your headset indicated that the remaining players had voted which only left you. Since Toast didn’t believe you, Corpse had this round in the bag. God. Damnit.

“Fucking- Fine. Thank god for your detective skills, Toast,” You grumbled bitterly, pouting on camera as you voted for the black avatar. Corpse’s avatar.

“You’re just mad that I figured you out..” The streamer teased, you rolling your eyes in response to his unmatched “knowledge.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally… Corpse is just too fucking good at this game, I swear to god,” You continued, definitely a little irritated that the match turned on you so fast.

It didn’t help when all you could do was helplessly watch from the other side of the screen as your purple avatar launched out into space. Oh well, it was over.

“Heh… I’m just glad you admit it,” The deep voice filled your headphones making you roll your eyes.

The screen suddenly darkened, a red gleam appearing as two characters stood next to one another. Spedicey and, who would’ve guessed, Corpse. Shocking.

“What?!” Toast exclaims.

“I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t think it was him!” Lily speaks up.

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Toast,” Felix almost groans, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Seriously…” You comment, smirking slightly at the groan of confusion from the man in question.

“What? Fable, you were so sus that entire round!” Toast stressed, your headphones filling with laughter as you clicked to play again.

“What do you mean?! I Iegit just scanned my card and you’re trying to call me on it! For NO good reason!” You retorted, wanting to facepalm so hard.

“I didn’t think you could do it that fast!” He yelled back, “I thought you were faking it, there was no way!”

“The only one who really struggles with card swipe here is Corpse,“ Jack cut in, you erupting in laughter at his words.

“What?- Uh- Come on, don’t do me like that…” He essentially growled into the mic, your arms erupting with goosebumps at the sound of him once again.

“That’s not true either! Jack, you know how hard card swipe is!” Valkarae stood up for the deep spoken imposter, “…but you guys both won anyway. So, whatever…”

You all simply laughed along with one another at that, the frustration fading as you mentally prepared yourself for another round of this thought-provoking game. Or… so you thought.

“Hey, can we actually hold off for a second? I need to use the bathroom-“ Lily asked, you smiling at how gentle her voice always was.

A stark contrast to the one that followed.

“Yeah, same here. Gamer bladder,” Corpse followed.

You shook your head at the later comment, clearing your throat as before leaning in towards your mic, “So, 5 minute break then?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good!”

“Sure, I’ll just be here.”

Felix, Rae, and Jack responded.

“…Sykunno?” You asked, having not heard his voice in awhile.

“He left to use the bathroom after he finished his tasks in the last round, texted me saying something about getting a snack,” Toast replied for him, you nodding to no one in particular but your chat.

“Got it,” You pressed the mute button for discord and turned to your face cam, “Guess I’ll run to the restroom as well, stay tuned!”

You clicked a few things to allow an ad to run across your stream, labeling it for around four minutes before reaching for your headphones. You placed them on your desk and sighed, leaning back in your chair.

You heard the door in the hallway open, smiling gently to yourself before standing from the chair. You turned towards your own closed door, taking the appropriate amount of steps to open it before peaking around the doorway.

“Hm…” You walked out slightly, turning towards the closed bathroom door and smirking before creeping out of your room and over to his.

Corpse’s room. Your boyfriend.

You and Corpse had started seeing each other a month or two into quarantine during the pandemic. Having known each other a year or two from both of your professions bringing you together under the circumstances, it seemed appropriate.

He was a real-life horror story teller, taking people’s information by email and anonymously telling their tales. You? You told mythologies of all kinds through your own renditions of the stories with art. You also managed to make the stories more light hearted and funny with a few jokes now and then, and people seemed to appreciate the humor you found in some of the topics.

Your channel name had always been Fantasized Fables, a little odd but it got your content across. Since your channel hit, your name was no secret but people liked calling you Fable.

You honestly thought it made you sound a lot more badass than you actually were.

Either way, somehow you got connect through a couple of friends and instantly clicked. Corpse was… well, Corpse. You didn’t know that you’d helped him so much when he actually told you what was going on. The endless nights where you would both be up at an ungodly hour and just dm-ing one another. It started after a few nights you both saw each other online, quickly progressing into something much bigger than that.

It got deep all the time. You both had so many thoughts about life and each other’s and your own… you felt so safe when telling this faceless internet friend all your deepest, darkest thoughts. But, you knew Corpse had more. He always told you more, you almost wanted more to comfort him over. The feelings started to fester and grow… there was no stopping how you felt about him.

The day you two actually met was never going to be forgotten, by either of you. It was unintentional, almost straight from a movie. You had, at this point, exchanged contact information and had been now calling for the majority of May. Not to mention, you both found out you lived in SoCal, only progressing  On this particular afternoon, you texted him that you were going on a coffee run to Starbucks… him saying he was going out for the first time as well.

Masked up and muffled, you of course could tell it was his voice from across the street. The slightly amplified “oh fuck” was the biggest giveaway you could’ve imagined. Your eyes looking up to find a man, dressed in complete black, chains and earrings, shaggy black hair- there was so doubt in your mind.

You called his name, his eyes looking up to find yours across the way… traffic laws weren’t going to stop the saint up to him and into his arms. A big, long, well-deserved embraced you knew the both of you needed. He had always been so kind… and gentle… him being physically there was just so… relieving.

The rest is history, and you honestly moved into his apartment as quickly as you could. You couldn’t stand him living alone like that anymore, and he obviously let you in without a second thought.

You both were extremely happy to have each other, and it just kept getting better from there.

You gently shut the door behind you, creeping over to his setup and sliding into his chair, humming softly as you watched the endless chat messages buildup along the screen and peering at the number of viewers he had now achieved.

JEEEZUS christ, 200k?! That’s insane! You thought, widening your eyes at the number on the screen.

Your streams only ever reached 90k, which was a lot more than you had expected. The number was slowly growing now, though… ever since Corpse blew up on tiktok for just posting videos of his hands.

Wild.

You clicked through a few comments, watching super comments flash along the chat as well as mods trying to attempt to get slow chat to work. You couldn’t help but slightly laugh at the struggle, turning back towards the game as a few of the avatars began bouncing around with one another. People were getting back to the game.

You were about to shift around in his seat, reaching for the keyboard to type something in game when two larger hands came gently down on your shoulders. They pushed you gently down against the chair, causing it to lean back with your body. A face moved next to your ear, lips grazing against the skin.

“Whattup Baby?~” That low voice growled, you gently flinching at the rumbling next to your ear.

You turned to find Corpse grinning down at you, his hands easing up off your body and reaching for your face. His right hand came in contact with your cheek, gently squeezing against it as he slowly walked around the chair and crouched down. To be right beneath your eye level.

“Hi..” You hummed, leaning over to press your lips against his forehead before leaning back to look in his maroon-like eyes.

“Why’re you in my chair? You need to get back to your own stream, silly~” He hummed, beginning to stand as he reached for your arm to pull you out of the chair.

You grinned, your head falling back begrudgingly as he easily pulled you from the comfortable seat.

“Wait…! I just wanted to see you…” You lightly whined, him chuckling in response as you stood on your two feet. Him replacing the spot where you had sat.

“Uhuh… and why’s that?” He teased lightly, you couldn’t help but scoff gently while your heart rate increased. He always had that effect on you.

“Well, I mean… I wanted to both congratulate and bother you about your… fucking imposter round-“ He erupted in laughter, you grinning along with him with a simple eye roll, “hey! Let me finish, it was a good round, I’ll give you that… but you threw me under the bus while doing it…! For no reason!”

He raised his brow lightly, his laughter coming to a soft chuckle as he shrugged, “I mean, I gotta keep my title as ‘too fucking good at imposter.’ Sorry, princess…”

You playfully glared in his direction, a stupid smirk spreading across his face. Your lower lip jutted out from your upper one, crossing your arms as you simply pouted in response. He huffed in response, his smirk turning to more of a smile as he reached back out for you.

“C’mere…” He grumbled, his hand grabbing your arm as he pulled you back down to the chair.

“Wait- Ah!” You almost fell against him, barely able to catch yourself against the arm rests on his chair. You looked up, slightly panicked from the sudden fall, to find Corpse smirking right back.

“Wait for what? You’re not ready for affection?” He asked softly, his hand reaching up to push a few loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“N-No, that’s not it…” You mumbled, letting your gaze fall to his chest, seeing the definition of his body through his baggy sweater.

You felt fingers press against the underside of your chin, pushing your face up to look back towards him. You felt your face flush in embarrassment, smiling nervously as his smirk had never faltered.

“You don’t look very sure of yourself…” he whispered to you.

You gently bit at the inside cheek, shrugging quickly, “C-Cuz’ I’m not…”

He chuckled deeply, leaning in slightly as he grabbed you by the lips, gently humming against your mouth as his hands gripped your sides.

You whimpered softly against him, beginning to kiss back as you readjusted yourself in his lap. You quietly wrapped your arms around the back of his neck as you leaned against him.

He chuckled softly, moving his lips against yours as his hands gently slipped up beneath the sides of your shirt and lovingly stroked at your now exposed skin.

“God, you’re so beautiful…” he whispered against you, catching your lips quickly as he continued, “You’re too perfect, fuck… too fucking perfect…”

“Corpse, I-..” You kissed him again, one of your hands reaching up towards his head as you tangled your fingers into the back of his hair.

He hummed against your mouth, squeezing your sides gently as his smily broke out into a grin. The tip of his nose pressed against yours as he sighed, “Yes, princess?~”

“Careful, we need to get back to the game…” You whispered, growing a little nervous as he chuckled.

“They can wait…” He sighed, leaning back in to press his lips back to yours, kissing you deeply once again.

You squeaked lightly, timid as ever before you kissed back. You felt his teeth grazing against your lower lip, gently nipping at the skin. You couldn’t help but slightly moan, pulling away from your lips as he trailed light kisses down your chin and along your jaw.

He was going for your neck, getting there before you could express any protest. You sighed loudly as his lips connected to the skin right below your ear, gently growling against you as you felt a slight wet sensation lick against your earlobe. You shivered, the side of your face falling to the top of his head as he continued his attack on your neck.

“Fuck, Corpse~”

“God, you sound so beautiful baby… you keep acting like this and after the stream? I’ll have no choice but to-“

The desk behind you started vibrating in loud, long buzzes. Both of you freezing in your spots as you turned over your shoulder to find Corpse’s phone lighting up with a phone call.

You quirked your brow, “Who’d be calling you this early in the morning?”

It was 12 pm, you both had woken up at 10 am to actually get ready in time to stream. It wasn’t early for the world, but it was early for this apartment.

“I don’t know… weird,” He leaned forward in his chair, you holding tight against his chest as he grabbed the phone and brought it towards the two of you.

You both looked down at the contact name on the screen, your eyes widening at the name that read.

“Why- hm…” Corpse quickly swiped to answer the call, holding the speaker up to his ear, “Hey Rae, everything okay-“

He stopped suddenly mid sentence, his eyes widening as his cheeks lit up in a bright red. It had to have been the most embarrassed you’d ever seen him, his eyes falling to yours as you read the panic within them.

“R-Right- shit… s-sorry- I-I’ll turn it down now… bye,“ He quickly brought the phone away, immediately hanging up as his eyes flashed towards the chat function on his stream.

“Is… Is everything okay…?” You asked hesitantly, leaning over slightly to read for yourself what people had to say. Did something happen in chat while you guys were preoccupied?

Corpse didn’t respond, his eyes just scanned what the letters read on screen. You frowned, you confusion growing by the second. He hit a button on the keyboard, did he just unmute?

A strained laugh left his mouth, falling back in the chair with you still in his arms. His eyes found yours, his lips slowly turning to a grin before he laughed one of the hardest laughs you had yet to hear from him.

Your eyes widened, completely baffled at this point.

“Corpse, please- What happened?”

“We- We- AHA! We were unmuted!! That ENTIRE time!” He cackled, his hand landing on his chest to almost support him in some way.

You, on the other hand, went from complete befuddlement to absolute humiliation. There was no way THAT was just heard by hundreds upon thousands of people. No fucking way.

“Wh-What??” You began to panic, reaching for his broad shoulders and gently holding onto them, “Wh-What are you even t-talking about?!”

He gently gripped onto you in return, readjusting you against him as he held you there. His laughter died down before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your nose.

You both were open that you were in a relationship, people knew… but, that doesn’t mean you necessarily wanted them to hear..

“Hey, baby, don’t worry… it could’ve been a lot worse… We’re fine~” he reassured, your brow still tensed from your worry. You knew the worst had already happened when he blew up, but how would they use his voice in that kind of tone…

You didn’t want to think about it too much. Not jealous, more just… weirded out. Who knew how people would use your voice in that tone either? You didn’t dwell on it.

“Ah, o-okay… yeah, nothing we need to worry about now,” You nodded with him, his gentle features turning to a warm smile. He brought his hand up to your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across your skin as he hummed.

“Mhm, all is fine… I promise,” He mumbled to you, leaning in softly to press his lips back against your forehead.

You sighed, pausing against him for a moment before leaning away, “Well… p-probably shouldn’t keep them waiting m-much longer…”

Corpse raised his brow gently smiling sadly in agreement with a slight nod. He gently reached for your hips once again, holding them gently as he helped hoist you back onto your two feet. You yelped softly as you let yourself be lifted, extending your two legs to meet the floor.

You stood still for a moment, your eyes meeting his as you timidly smiled, “S-Sorry about the mic thing… I should’ve stayed in my stream.”

You nervously laughed, his smile never faltering as yours broke out into a grin. Your slight guilt written all over your features.

“No, no, you’re totally fine… don’t apologize,” He hummed, his thumbs gently pressing against your hips as he kept reassuring.

“Okay, haha… now we’ll never forget to check our mics,” You winked softly, your hands grabbing onto his larger ones and squeezing them gently in return.

“Haha… never,” He nodded softly, tilting his head gently to the side as he simply watched you.

You sighed, begrudgingly pulling his hands from your hips as you took a small step away. You gently bounced on the balls of your feet, awkwardly putting your hands together behind your back.

“Hm… well! I- uh… will see you in game…” You smiled, his body turning in his chair as he leaned his chin against two of his fingers that you had freshly reapplied black nail polish that night before.

His brow raised quizzically at you, the damn smirk playing at his lips once again. His fingers flexed slightly, his hands following the motion. You could see the veins running down his wrist from where you stood.

He briefly chuckled, “Yeah… I’ll see you there, baby…”

With that, he turned back towards his screen while you didn’t hesitate towards the door. You walked over and grabbed the handle, briefly turning back to the darkened man on the screen, clicking away at the bursts of notifications he was getting from discord.

Oops.

“I love you-“ You flushed, his eyes pulling away from his screen to find you in the doorway. You could see the tint of pink along his cheeks in the darkness of the room.

“…I love you too. Hurry though, Rae is flipping out-“ He laughed, you not wasting a second more to close the door and bound back over to your recording room.

You shut the door behind you, looking up towards your brightened monitor and feeling your breath catch in your chest. You could see your chat blowing up from here, your phone lighting up with MULTIPLE notifications… God, what an unfortunate mistake for Corpse to have made.

You quicken your pace back to your chair, sliding in and putting your headphones back atop of your head. Your camera had come back on in the time you were gone, giving the device a nervous grin before turning towards the game.

“S-Sorry guys, didn’t mean to take that long- uhm…” Your eyes scanned over the chat, not surprised to find it full of caps-locked comments screaming about what happened on Corpse’s stream.

You sighed nervously, your eyes now finding your discord application notifying you that you had… almost fifty notifications?! You mentally had to roll your eyes, quickly turning back towards the camera with a sheepish smile.

“I- uh… I have to go for another minute- B-Be right back!” You laughed, turning on another ad before mentally cursing at yourself. God damnit- your eyes scanned over the viewers on your stream.

What the shit- when did I get 30k viewers?! What the hell?! Of course this is when your viewers decide to spike.

You groaned to yourself, your head falling to your hand as the other reached for your mouse. You clicked to your discord, slowly… but surely, un-deafened your mic.

“OH. MY. GOD. You FUCKING dumbass!” Rae yelled as soon as you unmuted, flinching at the pitch to her tone. It felt like you were being scolded.

“What?! I can’t show my girlfriend some love?!” Corpse replied, not yelling but a definite inflection in his tone.

“No! Nothing wrong with that! But CHECK your MIC next time!!” She laughed loudly. Oh my god.

“Jesus Christ, dude… or at least lower the sensitivity significantly…” Jack spoke up, almost sounding disappointed.

“Ey, welcome back, Fable-“ Felix spoke up, the cheeky grin evident in his tone.

What a fucking asshole-

“FABLE!”

“Oh my god-“

“You guys can’t wait til after stream?!”

“Wait, what am I joining into…?” A new voice intervened, interrupting Rae, Toast, and Lily.

Charlie, what a man, coming in at the worst time.

“H-Hey Charlie…” You spoke up in a greeting.

“Wha- Wait! Answer the question, Fable!” Lily squealed, a groan leaving your mouth as you fell towards your mic.

“I’m sorry! I-I really didn’t mean for it to happen! I had no clue-“

“Yeah, wait, this isn’t on Fable. She just went to go visit Corpse in the other room, guys, chill…” Felix actually stuck up for you, your face lifting in surprise as his words.

“Uh- yeah, actually, I guess that’s fair,” Jack commented, you nervously laughing in response.

“I… am so sorry to all of you,” You apologized softly, a gentle chorus of laughs following your meek apology.

“No, no, no, you’re so fine. You guys weren’t trying to broadcast whatever… that was…” Sykunno hummed awkwardly, you laughing lightly at his uncertainty.

“It was a poor mistake on my part, I’m sorry, Fable…” Corpse spoke up, you grinning at the sound of his voice.

“N-No worries… hey, we already went over this in person. Can we get back to the game?” You grumbled, another fit of laughter through the group at your excusing of the situation.

“Ahaha, yeah let’s get back into it,” Toast replied, the sound of his mouse clicking lightly being heard in the call.

You sighed, deafening yourself once again and turning back on your stream, “Hey everyone, yep… yep, everything’s fine. No worries, I promise, haha. We took a break for a little longer than expected, but we’re back!”

You un-deafened and were met with sound of a very very confused Charlie, “Wait… so… no one’s going to explain to me what happened?”

You all erupted into loud laughter, you falling back slightly in your chair as you cackled. The first voice to come back was Rae, shockingly.

“Don’t worry, Charlie… we’ll tell you later,” She snickered, you laughing along as you came back to your keyboard.

“So… we can start now, though?” Toast spoke up once again.

You began to give confirmations of “yes” with soft ‘yeah’s and ‘mhm’s. Lazy, but it got the point across.

“Cool, starting the next round…” He clicked play again and the countdown began.

“Alright, everyone, remember to MUTE your mics!” Jack spoke up, you rolling your eyes in response as Corpse’s laugh raised above the rest.

“Will do. Thanks,” He chuckled, a louder laugh sounding through the call once again from all mics.

Your screen turned dark, the red avatar of the Among Us character moving to shush you from the screen. You sighed, watching it turn dark again.

“Yeah- yeah, you’re welcome!” Jack played along, grinning softly at the joke as the screen began lighting up once against.

Your screen displayed your avatar next to Corpse’s, the bright red letters of “Imposter” reading across the computer. You raised your eyebrows, making sure you were completely muted on call before chuckling.

“Oh… Hell yeah. Let’s go…”

Predators around every corner

This is confusing. A lot of your favorite fandom creators, out of nowhere, are being accused of endangering minors and others for making nsfw content or following/being-friends-with people who do; that is a serious claim, and a frightening one, and no one would say such a thing if they weren’t 100% sure they were correct about it, right? After all, to say something about someone is an awful thing to say, and needs proof and reason, or else it is libel and grounds for a defamation lawsuit and would, morally, be an absolutely terrible thing to accuse a person of if it was not true.

Obviously, they must have reason. Obviously, these accusations are founded and must eventually prove to be true, even if they cannot now, or maybe they can, maybe the accusations would hold up in a court of law, but for some reason the same people making these accusations... won’t come out directly and accuse these people and don’t have any evidence besides what they ‘think’ this other person is thinking.

Someone has made an argument, somewhere, that writing nsfw of aged up minor characters in atla is predatory behavior and endangering to minors. Is it?

1. Is it legal?

   Easy answer, yes. It’s legal. By definition it is smut of adult characters, regardless of where it originates. None of it is on tumblr, where it would not be allowed, but instead on a web site where it is clearly tagged and behind an age limit. In fact, this argument would be laughed out of court. Because no law is protecting the nsfw depictions of fictional characters, who are not real, regardless of age, besides potentially copyright.

If the stories are about underage fictional characters? It still, at least by USofA law, still not illegal. Yes. That’s correct. Stories depicting underage fictional characters in sexual situations does not follow under the definition of child porn and is allowed in publication and law. To see proof of that, besides reading the actual law which you are free to do, simply note the fact that Stephen King’s It is not only still in print but recently had two film adaptations.

So that, would in fact, be allowed; however what is being called into question is depicting adult fictional characters in nsfw situations. A completely different thing that is, actually, very different from the other. But, to simply answer the question of legality, it’s all legal.

2. When is it endangering to minors?

   This content can, in fact, be endangering to minors when they are exposed to it either without warning, in a search, or if they are sent this content by another person. Ways that this could happen are if nsfw images appear google searches (where such content can be reported and taken down) or if nsfw writing is not properly tagged or accompanied by archive warnings (posted on ffnet for example or not properly rated on ao3). If this is happening, it is a good idea to go to the website to report it properly, or have someone contact the artist/author about the lack of tagging - the content itself is irregardless, the problem that exists here is the lack of warning.

Nsfw art is also not allowed by the tumblr guidelines; feel free to report it if seen. Please, however, take a step back to remember than an image of a person in their underwear is not, in fact, pornography. If you’ve ever walked past a billboard for a clothing company or seen a Victoria’s Secret catalogue you should know this. There is, in fact, an actual parameter for what sets apart sfw and nsfw.

If this content, however, has been properly tagged and is behind a proper age limit, with warnings and the like, it is not endangering toward minors. Clicking on a nsfw art or writing with clear warnings for what it is does not make the creator of that content responsible; a porn star is not responsible for endangering minors if a minor answers falsely to a website agreement stating they are 18 and views their content. The responsibility lies with the minor as well as the guardians of that minor for not teaching them how to responsibly search the internet and recognize what they should or should not be viewing.

If you are not mature enough to recognize this, you should not be online.

3. But I disagree?

   You are within your rights to have a difference of opinion or feel uncomfortable if a person posts links to their nsfw content, or mentions that they make nsfw content. In fact, nsfw content makes many people uncomfortable. There are many ways to avoid seeing this.

First, go to the filter on your blog and filter all nsfw related tags you can think of, some starting points I would suggest are: nsfw, nsfw tw, nsfw mention, adult content, adult content tw, adult content mention (feel free to keep going, be as thorough as makes you comfortable). Next, block the blogs you do not personally like; feel free to block as many blogs, for any reason, that you like. This is absolutely fine and no explanation is needed. If you feel uncomfortable having your blog followed by any adults at all, you can also take steps to make the blog unsearchable and only follow as few people as you like.

What you should not do is harass people for making content that you personally do not like. This includes nsfw content. Making such incredibly serious claims as to state someone is a predator who endangers minors for making nsfw content in your fandom is unfounded, dangerous, and entirely irresponsible. Adults participating in this rhetoric need to take a very good look at themselves, and minors who have been experiencing anxiety as a result of this claim, I am very sorry.

4. What was the aunt-suki thing?

   Where did this whole thing start? No one was making this point only a few months ago, did it just pop up out of nowhere?

^ this blog, since deleted [also goes formerly by tumble-dump (nowlil-baby-man) as well as jetru(deleted) safe-for-atla, and dennis-quaid] spearheaded this opinion after accusing one of the largest creators in the fandom, an adult poc, of endangering minors for an image posted to tumblr with possible suggestive themes (Tumblr does not allow nsfw art, it was not nsfw). Aunt-Suki is a 23 year old, self-described “titanium white” woman. She stated directly that anyone who posted nsfw content behind age limit barriers was predatory and that nsfw artwork of atla characters was rampant on this website without evidence.

After curating a blocklist, and admittedly receiving hate for doing so (despite oddly enough asking for anon hate on several occasions) aunt-suki did in fact create a first draft blocklist including fandom creators who make nsfw content, who are follow or are friends with those who make nsfw content despite not doing it themselves, and people who specifically asked her to be on the blocklist. This, in itself, was fine. A list of creators making nsfw content could, in fact, be helpful and good for those who do not want to see such content to have a handy resource of who to block and avoid. Unfortunately, the rhetoric of “they are all predators” was something aunt-suki fostered and continued to repeat, getting a lot of people to also feel the same way. This invited harassment, much of which directly done and targeted at others by aunt-suki. She repeatedly stated on her blog ‘I am safe, no one else is unless I say so, in order to keep yourself safe you must ask me who is bad [paraphrase, not direct quote]’ insisting that anyone who wished to know who was a predator on the website had to privately DM her for the information. Aunt-Suki used this to gain followers of minors and to specifically foster friendships with them.

We know this because aunt-suki made a post exposing herself. An anon asked her to defend the way she interacted with minors and she defended herself with phrases such as “I love kids so much more than grown ups”[quote], stating she runs a server of 13+ wlw and they all “care a lot about each other”; she also admitted she takes it upon herself to “expose kids to [heavy topics]” including race, sexism, queer issues, mental health, politics, etc. Aunt-Suki is not a trained professional for these issues and admits in the same post that she does not understand there could be any difference in power dynamics between her and these teenagers.

In addition, while defending these close relationships with minors that she specifically admits to reaching out for, Aunt-Suki also divulged her past at 18 years old of saying the n-word (excused by explaining she has a black friend); saying that this is the reason why she should, as a 23 year old white adult, be allowed to discuss “heavy topics” with minors.

This most certainly calls into question the fact that it was, with one exception, non-white creators that aunt-suki chose to publicly call out by name.

After being asked to defend herself for these actions she admitted to, Aunt-Suki deleted her blog but has continued to go online on her others blogs and discords, dm’ing others and making posts accusing people who called her out of being predators, asking for sympathy, blaming her actions on her adhd, and refusing to answer any of the messages sent to her. Other large creators have made posts about this, very rarely using her name to allow her some anonymity or time to explain her actions which she has not done. She choose instead to send anonymous messages further accusing these creators.

5. Why did you tell me that?

   This directly illustrates the problem with presenting an issue such as nsfw art/writing in the fandom without pointing out why others might disagree with it; and jumping past logic to decry those who don’t agree with extremely serious accusations. Someone with actual ill (or misguided) attentions may take advantage, deliberately isolating minors and portraying themselves as ‘good and safe’ while slowly whittling down who the minors can and cannot follow until no one able to call them out when they are the one participating in actual behavior that is inappropriate to minors.

6. I still don’t agree with the first points.

   That’s fine. Please call out actual predators if you see them. Do not, however, do so without any evidence or for reasons that simply are not, and never would be, considered basis for doing so in any legal or reasonable capacity.

Reconnecting

Good golly this ended up being longer than I expected. I started writing it to attach to a silly little mock-up I made of Lake’s Twitter account and it became a thing. Enjoy! :D

-

Lake sat in front of the Cosay family computer with the Twitter sign-up screen open. Jesse was behind them watching, at their request.

“So the e-mail address is easy, whatever, but what do I put for my username?” Lake pondered out loud.

“Oh I know!” Jesse said enthusiastically, then as he spoke he moved his hand through the air with a dramatic flair. “Your username should be Chrome Compatriot.”

Lake snorted and started typing again. “That’s terrible.”

“Well you don’t have to use it.”

“Nah, it’s too terrible not to use.”

Lake typed in their username and continued the rest of the signup process. Then they waited slightly impatiently for the confirmation e-mail.

“So do you know Tulip’s name on here?” Jesse asked. 

“Of course, I was there when it was made.”

Jesse drummed his fingers on the back of Lake’s chair. “Are you nervous at all about contacting her?”

“That’s what you’re here for,” Lake said with a small smile. “Moral support. I’m more nervous about Tulip not believing me than anything.”

“You’ll just have to make it super obvious who you are then,” Jesse hummed in thought. “Like, make your icon a picture of yourself, and put in your description ‘hashtag no filter, hashtag, actually chrome’ just to make it extra clear.”

The confirmation e-mail arrived, Lake clicked on the provided link.

“I’m not putting hashtags in my profile. Tulip’s not stupid, just the picture will be enough.”

Lake started to edit their profile and hit another snag with their description.

“Jesse’s not wrong about making it obvious in my description,” Lake thought. 

They tapped on a random key in thought. Pronouns, sure, that’s a given. Name, why not? Then it hit them.

“Lake, formerly MT,” Jesse read out what Lake quickly typed.

“I’ll remove the formerly part after I contact Tulip,” Lake said, then added more to their profile, nonbinary, she/they, and the most important part, “Free from The Train.”

“Ah smart,” Jesse chuckled. “‘The Train’ sounds so ominous though.”

“It kinda is if you think about it. This strange train that goes on forever, kidnapping people with personal problems.” Lake then scrolled though multiple pictures of themself to use as an icon. “Wow I look uncomfortable in all of these. I want Tulip to know I’m happy.”

“You’ll get better at having your picture taken,” Jesse watched the pictures fly by. “See, you’re actually smiling in this one you took by the lake.”

Lake took a closer look at the photo, seeing that they did look genuinely happy. It was taken right after Jesse’s dad gave them a cool old jacket of his. It was way too big on them of course.

Feeling satisfied with their new profile Lake saved all the changes and then started following a few accounts. Starting with Jesse. That way they seem more like a real person when they do contact Tulip.

“Thanks for helping me out with all this,” Lake said. “I think I’ll DM Tulip after I give my account a little life.”

“It’s no problem, good luck with the Tulip thing,” Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. “And if you want me to give you more moral support when you reach out. Just ask.”

Lake smiled as Jesse walked out of the room. They continued to do things on Twitter, and eventually made a change to their profile. 

Blame @Jesse_Dracula for the username.

“I wonder how long it’ll take for him to see that,” they thought with a laugh. 

Lake tweeted out a couple things, which they found pretty awkward. There wasn’t much to say. Freedom was great and all, but life in Jesse’s town hasn’t been extremely interesting for the average person. A reinforced bed frame was cool for Lake, but was it for anybody else? No.

Tweeting was definitely the biggest hurdle aside from contacting Tulip. Especially once Lake realized that her DMs were turned off for random people.

“Of course,” Lake said with a groan. “It’s like that by default.”

They agonized over what to tweet out to Tulip. A DM was private, a Tweet was not. “Hey, this is your former reflection. I got off the train.” Wouldn’t really work in a public setting. 

“Recognize this face?” Would be kinda creepy.

Lake wondered if they sent Jesse out of the room too soon.

They bit the bullet and Tweeted to Tulip, “This is pretty weird, but not as weird as The Train. We know each other.”

Before Lake could even think too hard about what they typed they sent the Tweet.

“Too late to back out now.”

-

After coming home from a study session with Mikayla Tulip scrolled through her Twitter and saw two notifications. Which was a bit unusual, she didn’t have very many followers. One new notification was a strange Tweet from somebody who looked like they were made out of metal, the other was of them following her. 

The Tweet mentioned “The Train” which really stood out to Tulip so she checked out the person’s profile.

[image is of Lake’s Twitter profile]

A couple things interested Tulip, mainly this person having “formerly M.T.” in their bio, but also another mention of The Train. 

Tulip laughed when she saw Lake’s most recent retweet, it was from the “Jesse_Dracula” mentioned in their bio. 

“Hey! @ChromeCompatriot sounds cool you know, like a superhero”

Obviously those two were friends. 

Tulip clicked on Lake’s profile picture to expand it and took a good look at their face. It became completely obvious that this was indeed her former reflection. Wow, what a change. They look happy.

So Tulip followed Lake back.

The DM was pretty much instant. Tulip had wanted to quickly grab a snack but clearly Lake was excited to talk.

Lake: I don’t know where to start! I guess, how are you?

Tulip: I’m good. Definitely didn’t expect to hear from you today.

Lake: Yea. Just figured we could catch up. Oh right. I can remove formerly M.T. from my profile now. I only had it so you knew who I am.

Tulip: Do you have a Discord too? We could voice chat and catch up that way. 

Lake: I don’t have Discord. I could sign up later. Dinner’s soon so I can’t right now. 

Tulip looked at her clock, it was already past 7PM.

Tulip: Where are you?

Lake: Arizona

Lake: I wasn’t really thinking when I messaged you. I can quickly type out what happened tho.

Tulip: Sure. And then I can update you.

It took a while for Lake to go over all the details, and Tulip wished that she was voice chatting with them because it sounded like an interesting story. Meeting Jesse, a deer with magic powers! Running from the flecs, a cult, One-One’s role as conductor.

Lake: And Jesse was so upset that he left the train without me that it picked him up again. One-One couldn’t figure out how to solve his problem since I couldn’t leave the train without a number. 

Tulip: Really? So how’d you get off?

Lake: Simple. I reflected Jesse’s number on my hand. 

Tulip: Good thinking

Lake: It’s so good to be free! Kind of boring tho. But whatever I need a little boring right now.

Lake: So what have you been up to?

“What have I been up to?” Tulip thought. “Oh wait, Lake didn’t see how I got off the train.”

Tulip: After I helped you out of The Chrome Car I went to a car that was a kids’ playground like they have at

“Hold on,” Tulip searched her memory. “Do those places even have mirrors?”

Tulip: Well it was a kids playground. You’ve never seen one. There was a stuffed rabbit named Khaki Bottoms and I had a break for a bit.

Tulip: Then “the conductor” showed up and tore the place apart.

Typing the part that came next proved hard for Tulip. It all worked out in the end, Atticus was turned back to normal. But...

So she decided to leave it out as she continued to go over what all Lake missed on the train. 

Lake: Wow.

Lake: So an old lady kicked One-One out of the engine room. 

Tulip: I wonder what she’s doing?

Lake: Don’t know. I just know about the Apex gang. I hope they run into her so they can smarten up.

Tulip: Right them.

The next reply took a while to show up. Tulip figured Lake was eating dinner. 

Lake: A lot of them are little kids.

Lake: I hate them.

Lake: Anyway how’s life off the train going?

Tulip: My parents were really worried about me since I was gone for so long.

Tulip: They wouldn’t let me go anywhere alone.

Lake: Fair.

Tulip: Eventually I got to go to game design camp. It was great!

Lake: Cool

Tulip recalled how sick of programming Lake sounded so she decided to not go too into detail and bore them. 

Tulip: School’s been school. It was nice being around people again.

Tulip: But I got sick of it really fast.

Lake: I’m going to school too.

Lake: It’s not terrible.

Tulip: You’re going to school??

The rest of the night was spend chatting about school and just general life stuff.

It was nice catching up.

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman     AGE: 27       CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    ONLY BY MUTUALS?:  YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner​ TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

‘My bad experience with an SCP Wiki moderator.’

This was submitted by a user who wishes to remain anonymous. This is not by the author of this blog.

Hi, I hope it’s ok for me to send a huge wall of text like this, because it’s the shortest I could manage. I’m putting my username in the required submission settings, but I want to remain anonymous in this post. I alluded to what I’m about to describe here in an ask I sent to this blog… about a week ago, I think. The timeline for this experience is approximately November 2018 - June 2019.

In late October of 2018, some things happened between me and another SCP author that scared the shit out of me and made me worry that I would need to leave the SCP community, possibly even delete all traces of my existence off the internet. I don’t want to talk about them here, but my distress was obvious to a few people on Discord, and it was during this time that a wiki author and j-staff member named Uncle Nicolini reached out to me to see if I was ok, despite the fact that we didn’t know each other well. We started talking to each other pretty regularly. We were both very depressed people who’d been through some traumatic experiences, so we were able to relate over that.

After about three weeks, it turned out that he had developed a very strong crush on me. I will admit that I did flirt with him back on a few occasions. At the time I was an openly sexual person. Here’s where the issues started: I am aromantic and bisexual, but the aromantic part is what really matters here. Uncle Nicolini is not. Despite the fact that we had only been talking to each other seriously for a few weeks, he became very angry that I could not feel attracted to him romantically. It got to the point that he threatened to kill himself because I would not be his girlfriend, and tried to manipulate me into believing that my sexual orientation was wrong. I vaguely recall him expressing the idea that women owed him something because of his semi-recent negative experience with a former girlfriend. I was absolutely horrified. At the time, I was barely 19 and he was 24. I tried telling some other people that I still trusted about what was happening, but the response I would get usually wasn’t much better than something like “Oh no, that sucks.”

Eventually I confronted him by text messages (I had his number and I hoped it would make him take me more seriously). I told him straight up what I thought of his behavior, and the response I got was… not very good. The tone I got from his responses was that I was wrong for getting angry at a depressed person, along with an entirely unrelevant excuse as to why I was not allowed to express any form of “passive-aggressiveness” towards him. Eventually we came to an agreement and decided to stay friends, but the apology he gave me was very backhanded and ultimately it felt like I was the one who was being a mean bitch. I genuinely tried to move past it, but over the next few months I couldn’t help but think back to what had happened and I felt like the incident was always haunting all of our interactions. To Nico’s credit - for a few months after this happened, I feel that he did genuinely try to help me with my trauma and be a good friend, which is why I have been extremely hesitant to talk about this publicly. I would not be writing this had I not very recently come to a conclusion about some of his other behavior towards me, which I’ll be talking about later.

Eventually, another major conflict happened between us. In late December through all of January, I was involved in some major drama in the SCP community (related to what I vaguely referenced at the beginning of this post) that resulted in both me and the unnamed author being permanently banned from the SCP Wiki. Though I should have been satisfied, especially after a month of hardship that I feared would go nowhere, I felt as though my experiences had been invalidated by the SCP Wiki admin team, and I was stuck in a situation where although I wanted to still be a part of the SCP community, there were now several barriers to me doing so, not to mention the way that my reputation was permanently affected. For the next two months I was a very aggressive ball of negativity, and I didn’t notice how much I was bothering some people around me. A bunch of people made it clear (though politely, out of respect for my situation) that they wanted nothing more to do with me. Uncle Nicolini was the one who took it upon himself to show me why my negativity was so damaging, and before I continue, I want to be clear that I think he was right. However, and I understand that it may be problematic that I cite these during a situation where I was the one in the wrong - there were two things about this situation that were incredibly troubling to me. The first is that during the argument, I also brought up Nico’s past sexual harassment of me and how months later I was still very upset about it, even though I tried my best not to let it show. His initial response to me bringing it up was something like “I thought I already apologized for that.” He did eventually give me a real apology after some probing, not the half-assed line he had given me in November to shut me up, but it made it clear to me that he did not understand how he had affected me, or perhaps did not care.

Simultaneously - and I’m going to do my absolute best to explain my argument here - I also believe that this encounter was when I first noticed a pattern of gaslighting from Nico that would become more obvious over time, though I would not be able to put it into words until now. During our encounter, Nico also told me that he thought I was “emotionally manipulative, but not intentionally.” Something like that. It was not at all a light accusation. And yet, by the end, he was back to saying that he greatly wanted to continue to be my friend for a long time. I accept the possibility that he was wishing the best for me and genuinely wanted me to see that my behavior was bad so I could be a better person, and was using the argument as a test to see whether or not I could self-reflect. What I don’t find a coincidence is that I feel this exact situation happened multiple times over the course of our friendship, even in situations that were much lower stakes. I notice a pattern in which Nico would find something to make me feel bad about, turn it into a big deal, and then shortly after go back to saying that he greatly wanted to be my friend and hoped I would always be his friend. I have come to the conclusion that this was likely controlling behavior on the part of Nico. I’m unsure what his exact motivations behind it could have been, but I think my concern is legitimate.

Connected to this observation - I recall one time, when I was becoming involved with a similar but non-SCP writing site after I had given up on returning to the SCP fandom, an instance in which I believe that Nicolini intentionally tried to start drama between me and a friend. I became aware of the fact that he had been showing a server of other people our private DMs, or possibly just my private thoughts, without my permission to former friends who were hesitant to support the community I was becoming involved with due to the fact that it contained a mix of people from both the SCP Wiki and RPC authority. I am not entirely sure what his motivations behind this could have been, because even after everything that had happened I still openly supported the SCP community, but I fear that he was purposefully trying to make people distrustful of me behind my back. Why he would do this, I’m not entirely sure. When I expressed concern over what he was doing, because it made a friend of mine upset for a short time, my feelings were largely shrugged off.

I also noticed, over time (because I did keep trying to be his friend), a worrying pattern of aggression from Nico towards other people. I observed that he had a pattern of getting into fights during opportunities where he knew that he either could not get in trouble for it or that his anger was directed at someone who was generally unpopular with the crowd he hung out with. He seemed to partly acknowledge that he had anger issues, but would often blame it on an excuse like “my antidepressants make me aggressive” or “I’m stressed out because of the work I do for the SCP Wiki.” While these explanations are understandable to an extent, they ultimately do not fully excuse hateful behavior towards an individual, and I worry that they indicate that Uncle Nicolini still has issues with owning up to his own bad/abusive behavior when he needs to.

At one point I ended up speaking to a confidant in private about my some of my experiences with Uncle Nicolini, because I was wondering if I should block him like my gut was telling me to, even though I felt like I should suck up my concerns and try to maintain our friendship. He told me not to put pressure on myself and take some more time to think. Eventually, though, a certain event forced me to admit that I was deeply uncomfortable with Nico’s past and present behavior, this feeling would not go away, he had an increasing habit of dismissing my concerns, and for my own mental health it was better that I find a way to get away from him somehow. I understand that this method is not ideal, and it may be seen as leading him on, but over time I tried to talk to him less and less, and when he did reach out to me, I would say everything that I thought he wanted me to say, and I finally blocked him on every platform I could think of when I thought the coast was clear at the start of July. I don’t regret doing so.

Before anyone asks, yes, I did report him to SCP staff. I told them about the sexual harassment I had experienced from him because I figured it was all that was actionable. I didn’t push the issue that much, because sometimes it’s just…. exhausting laying so much of your private life bare after repeat scary experiences in a community that was supposed to be fun. Either they didn’t believe me or thought he was too valuable to lose, because about a month after I reported him he was promoted to moderator, and only one person vaguely referenced his behavior in the promotion thread.

I haven’t spoken to Nico in several months, and therefore I can’t tell anyone for certain if his behavior has improved. I don’t wish any form of harassment towards him as a result of this post. I don’t feel like I can do anything more public than this, due to the potential for backlash and the fact that I’m drained from a year of nonstop drama and other traumatic events. I strongly advise that young people, especially young GRSM people be wary when choosing to interact with this person. I strongly suggest that you do not engage with him sexually in any way. Last I saw, he still has a habit of being flirty with people in the community (and though I cannot confirm this for sure, I feel like I’ve noticed some slight creepiness towards trans people - especially trans women - from him.) As I always recommend when interacting with individuals from the SCP community - because I have seen much bigger, much worse, and much scarier drama than anything I’ve described here - please don’t ever be afraid to ask someone you trust for info about another person.

LFRP/LFC - Ra’sohn Tia (Crystal/Mateus)

Ra’sohn Tia

THE BASICS ––– –

Age: 22

Birthday: 20th Sun of the 1st Umbral Moon

Race: Halfbreed | Seeker of the Sun/Au Ra (Xaela) Cross

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Homosexual | Polyamourous

Marital Status: Single, Not Looking

Server: Matues, Crystal Data Center

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ––– –

Hair: Ra’sohn’s hair is a very pale blue color that can look white or silver in just the right lighting. His hair has natural jet black tips and highlights with the tips of his ears being black as well. His hair is naturally shaggy and looks unkept most of the time due to his life as a slave and fighter. While usually kept short, Ra’sohn has been known to have his hair grow out a bit and come down to just below his shoulder.

Eyes: Heterochromatic eyes with his right eye (our left) being the same pale blue color as his hair and his left (our right) eye being black. Essentially his eyes match the color of his hair.

Height: 6′5″ (Due to being half Au Ra, Ra’sohn gets his extra height from that half)

Build: Muscular with a fit and toned body. Ra’sohn is a fighter first and because of his time spent fighting various opponents (ranging from wild beasts to other gladiators in the arena) he has grown quite muscular and fit. He’s easily capable of taking punches and returning the favor.

Distinguishing Marks: Ra’sohn’s tail is a mix of Miqo’te and Au Ra, with the upper half having a mane that runs down the entire length in the same color as his hair (pale blue), the lower half of his tail is scaled and like that of an Au Ra’s. The end of his tail has the spine like features of an Au Ra tail but a large tuft of fur that drapes down and touches the ground when his tail is relaxed. Other features include scales down his back and scales along his hips and a set of horns that curl up and towards the back of his head (Arch Demon Horns when I get them). He also has long, black claws.

Common Accessories: A thick leather collar as well as a set of leather cuffs around his wrists. The collar has a silver ringlet attached to it so that a leash can be connected to it. The cuffs have similar ringlets so that his hands can be bound together should he get out of hand.

PERSONAL ––– –

Profession: Slave and Fighter

Hobbies: Fighting, Acrobatics, Yoga, Singing (Though no one knows this) and Ro’sohn has been trying to learn how to lockpick... he hasn’t had much success at that however.

Languages: Common, Huntspeak (Miqo’te), some Hingan and a small amount of Auri Tongue (Xaela Language)

Residence:

Birthplace: A small little village found somewhere in the Burning Wall of Eastern Thanalan.

Religion: Doesn’t hold to a Religion 

Patron Deity: Thaliak, the Scholar (Formerly Azeyma, the Warden)

Fears: Death, Guns/Magitek, Having a Master, Not finding his Freedom/Earning his Freedom, Being drugged

RELATIONSHIPS ––– -

Spouse: None

Children: None

Parents: Ra’tahve Nunh (Seeker of the Sun, Deceased), Yesuntei Oronir (Xaela, Missing/Unknown)

Siblings: None, because his father was a Seeker male who tried to start his own tribe (and failed) Ra’sohn has no siblings to speak of.

Other Relatives: None that he is aware of (Others from the R tribe could be related to him)

Pets: None, he’s not really allowed to have pets

TRAITS ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ––– –

Smoking Habit: If offered Ra’sohn would gladly take a break to smoke and just relax. Otherwise he’s not one to really seek out a cigarette or pipe unless he is absolutely stressed. Drugs: No, never. He has a deep set fear when it comes to these sorts of things and is terrified of being drugged and knocked out. Or simply doing something that will hinder his senses and render him vulnerable. Alcohol: Maybe. While he isn’t afraid of alcohol he is still extremely hesitant to partake in such things. This is because anyone can easily slip something into his drink and render him vulnerable. Drinking also hinders the senses and makes one a bit more easily manipulated so he tries to avoid that as much as possible.

RP HOOKS ––– –

Slave/Fighter - When it comes down to it at the end of the day Ra’sohn is a slave and thus he is likely to be found in areas where he is likely to be ‘entertaining’ someone for the night or fighting to try and earn his freedom. (Note: These RPs are restricted to people 18+, preferably older for NSFW theme’d RPs)

Singer/Entertainer - While his main focus is trying to fight to earn his freedom and otherwise being a Slave, Ro’sohn is known to sing and entertain people in more than just the pleasurable ways. 

R Tribe Members - Ra’sohn’s father was a former R tribe male who sought to form his own tribe. Because of this it’s possible that Sohn has family within the R tribe that he is not aware of. With his father’s passing however he’s likely never known of any blood ties to the R tribe. He was born in Eastern Thanalan in the Burning Wall so odds are some might know of him.

Oronir Tribe Member - Ra’sohn’s mother was of the Oronir tribe, she left the Steppe to seek out and explore the world. Having found Sohn’s father she felt pity for the Seeker and wanted to help him. Of course, this lead to their relationship and Sohn being born. His mother has since gone missing (potentially went back to the Steppe after Ra’tahve passed away due to malnourishment). It’s possible that his mother speaks of her son highly but doesn’t know what happened to him.

Halfbreed - Ra’sohn’s got a very exotic look to him and it’s easy to see that he is a Cross between Miqo’te and Au Ra. This could be appealing to some in the slave market who want something that stands out amongst the crowd or who just want something that is different. This also could cause trouble for the poor boy if people don’t like the idea of crosses or halfbreeds.

Insert Hook Here - In all honesty I am NOT a picky person when it comes to my Roleplays however for the time being Ra’sohn is going to be kept to more private RPs until I get back into the swing of things. However do not let this discourage you from wanting to ask about potential RPs in the future! Overall, simply ask me and I’ll let you know if we can set something up.

CONTACT INFORMATION  ––– –

In Game: Ra’sohn Tia Tumblr: Ask Threads/Story Threads/DMs Discord: Private/Not Disclosed Other: Google Documents, etc.

On that note I tend to be very shy and hesitant with RPing with people I have not RP’d with before. So please bear with me if I seem hesitant to RP with you if I do not know you, ESPECIALLY if it is a more mature RP. I am glad you enjoy my character(s) but I’m still learning how to be more involved in the community and not have major anxiety whenever I speak to new people.

Discourse

So I didn’t want to have to do this but it seems like it’s unavoidable. For the past couple of months I have been trying to move on from a toxic relationship and move on to more enjoyable roleplay but it seems that she cannot let go. Who am I talking about? I’m talking about Corinne Fletcher (aka Nemy on discord) who is @Fletchlingfletcher on tumblr. Now this post is mainly to clear the air because she as well as Naenia (@paleshadeofrose) have been spreading rumors and speaking about my personal real life in order to depict me as a horrible and abusive person.

For the most part, I just ignored it and just peacefully warned people that this was going on and to disregard it because these people and the friends that they have made in order to repeat these rumors have gotten out of control. So here it is… This is my side.

Corinne’s mun and I had a bad falling out because I just wasn’t having fun with her. After 5 years of Rping the same thing I wanted to try other things which she wasn’t comfortable with. I tried to invite other people into the roleplay and she became very passive aggressive. Now this is in no way trying to paint me out to be  the Dalai lama to where I didn’t do any wrong. It was a constant back and forth of accusing each other of losing interest or cheating-- overall just very toxic because that is the environment that we created with each other after being with each other for so long. I have a very busy life now which made it difficult to be attentive to her. I had school, I worked 10 hours shifts at night, I have family business that has to come first and so I hardly had time to really talk to her as I once did. The stress of her neediness and my shortness with her led to a big fallout where a lot of things were said out of anger. A lot of things that I said that I’m not too proud of but all the same it was said out of anger. I spoke with her again, one time in December to try to patch things up with her and when she didn’t want to do so, I haven’t talked to her since. You can find the LAST conversation I had with her here…

HERE

Five months later, she is still spreading rumors about me and telling people things that we talked about in private to make me seem like a horrible person in order to sway people into not RPing with me. She won’t show them how I tried to mend things. Instead she shows them THIS in order to emphasize what a bad person I am when it’s a conversation of when we were breaking up. Now, I don’t care if someone is mad because a Roleplay doesn’t work out. Ships end. Friendships end. But time heals sore feelings and regardless of how you may feel about someone you should NEVER bring their personal life into the game that has PERSONAL information about them and their family… In this conversation, specifically, it even spoke about my daughter. I don’t care how pissed you are about a ship not working out, you never bring those aspects into a game to make someone out to be a bad person. This is what she sent to a person I was actively roleplaying with.. Here. 

Anyone who would condone this or pretend like this isn’t a serious invasion of privacy is wrong. She has messaged several of the people I interacted with in order to push this narrative and it’s been over 5 months since we broke things off. How do I know this? This conversation from a friend and her was posted 3 days ago suggesting that my friend should block me because of a disagreement we had. You can find that HERE. This evident that she is NOT over our breakup. It doesn’t matter how mad I was about the way she and I broke up, I never suggested to anyone that they should stop speaking to her. Anyone who associated themselves with her a lot, I civilly removed myself from the their tumblr in order to avoid seeing her posts. I cannot tell people to not post her stuff; I only have control over what I can do to ensure my mental health is good. Following someone’s tumblr is not the measure of the friendship that I have with them. But Corinne is actively trying to alienate me from the Tumblr community and from the RP community by showing screenshots of when we were breaking up and I want people to know that that is NOT the narrative of our entire relationship. It wasn’t just me who was bad to her.. WE WERE BAD TO EACH OTHER. There had been days where I would just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling because I was filled with anxiety and she wasn’t helping. She told me that she would not try to sabotage my Rp and keep our drama between her and I which is not truthful. HERE

I can only speculate on her motivation to this but I would assume that she has become bitter and spiteful because I actually am doing better and I’m doing well and my mental health is much better now that we are separated. Yes, in December I tried to mend things but after the offer was rejected, I accepted it and I moved on. And I was happy. And I AM happy. And I want to remain happy.

Now let’s talk about Naenia because she seems especially interested in my personal life. Last night (5/11/19) Naenia harassed my friend trying to confirm some things that is none of her business. However, since Corinne and Naenia have been talking, Naenia wants to concern herself of who I am outside of the game, i.e age, gender, marital status, immediate family etc.. and she wants to confirm if some information about my personal life is true. Her is her trying to guilt my friend into sharing information about who I am when he states several times that he doesn’t want to be involved. HERE.

Now who am I? Who is Jurien? Well for all the people who want to know and all the people who are still reading this. As a mun, I own the tumblr Jurien-Ashur, Misato-Otsuka and Yuki-yukichan. Yes, surprise. Yuki-chan and Jurien have the same mun.

I created Yuki because I had high anxiety, low self-esteem, writer's block, depression and I was generally just angry all the time while playing Jurien. He just wasn’t a fun character to play anymore. I created Yuki more so to converse with people. Not necessarily to Rp though it did turn out that way. I needed to deflate because I was always stressed out. In the process, I ended up meeting a lot of great people who supported me and made me believe that I was more than just one type of OC-- that my creativity was more than just this one thing. From past experiences, I knew that if I invited Nemy/Corinne into Yuki’s world that the same result would happen all over again and people would be turned away because of her passive aggressiveness, so I kept the blog separate. Corinne found the blog, called me out on it and I was reluctant to actually confess. Now that is the problem. Why should I be afraid to let my rp partner know my alts? No one should be afraid to tell the truth when it comes to something they enjoy.

As far as Naenia is concerned, she is bitter because I didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her on Jurien. She talked to her friends behind my back to paint this picture that I was abusive to her and leading her on. However.. I have proof that it wasn’t the case. Multiple times I had set up times to rp with her and SHE didn’t show up. In a conversation, I expressed that I was disappointed that we didn’t get to meet up and immediately got defensive and when I decided to end the conversation.. She continued to ‘poke’ and try to get my attention. You can find that conversation HERE. I also made it clear that I didn’t want to be in an rp relationship and that I didn’t want her to wait around for me to be ready for a relationship. You can find that conversation Here. And here is a conversation that was going on at the same time of when she is talking to me reasonably and we are trying to work things out and I asked her for patience because I had a busy life outside of the game. At the same time she is talking to Ashe bad mouthing me. You can find that conversation HERE. Naenia didn’t want to do anything with me because it would be 6am when I got off from work however, she is frustrated with me when I won’t wake up early to Roleplay with her-- because I work 10 hour shifts and it’s heavy lifting. You can find that double standard HERE. She also conveyed that she didn’t like RPing before she had to go to work which I completely understood which you can find that HERE.

After that conversation, Naenia blocked me which I was okay with. I didn’t block her. It didn’t really matter to me but after saying all those things about me and when Ashe and I broke our rp off because Ashe tried to commit suicide.. Naenia pops up in my DM on tumblr again. You can find that conversation HERE. This conversation comes only a few hours after Ashe was discharged from the hospital but because the whole situation was upsetting, I refused to speak with her from that day on. At the same time.. She is telling people that Jurien was Gaslighting her and that he is very abusive (Which could be found here) but Naenia had never stopped actively trying to be with Jurien even after I expressed both IC and OOC that I didn’t want to be in a relationship. She even tried to get Ashe to be the bad person for even showing me the screenshots of her talking poorly about me to her friends while she was sweet as pie when talking to me on most occasions. And got everyone to be mad at her for showing that she was bad mouthing me instead of getting mad at Naenia for saying those malicious things in the first place.

Now again, I’m not telling people to stop talking to these two girls who have been extremely toxic in my life for the past few months. Some people just don’t vibe well together. I don’t want anything to do with either of them after this. They have invaded my privacy and shared that information with everyone who would listen all because they are upset about an rp ship that ended or a friendship that ended. My private life should not be a spectacle. Someone shouldn’t be asking my current RP partners if they know a certain bit of information about my personal life in order to try to convince them not to talk to me because I didn’t want to ship with them. We should not downplay all this and we should call it what is it. It’s bullying. All I wanted was to write and to have fun with the friends I found in game and Tumblr after a bad experience.

I didn’t want to show the information that I had. Hell, I didn’t want to show any of this information but I found that my silence and my ignoring the situation has done little good. People are believing the narrative that I’m this ‘horny guy’ when I have only been with two people in an intimate fashion Rply.

So there you have it. I’m just a player who is trying to move on from a toxic relationship-- a toxic friendship-- a toxic encounter with a tumblr woman and they are obsessing over me. They are broadcasting my personal information and they are trying to alienate me from others because they can’t accept that I’m happy. I’m not broken and I can survive without them.

You can make your own decision about the situation but I did the best I could. I’m doing the best I can.    

On the Topic of "Friends"

After seeing the post that @fiftyshadesofdes made last night, I finally have the courage to discuss more thoroughly my experience with someone in the Mystic Messenger fandom. I would like to start with saying that if you got a notification for this post, it is because you are involved in some way. A few names shall be omitted for the sole reason that I don't want backlash from them specifically, but still.

This is going to get rather long, so, under a cut it goes!!

Many of you who follow me know that I was good friends with someone who writes a... decently well known fic involving the Choi twins. And some who I have talked more extensively with will know that this person and I are no longer friends.

I have to start from the beginning though, because although things got extra bad towards the end, there were events that happened along the way that hurt me deeply as well, and that I realize now were manipulative and abusive.

This person and I met through tumblr. I started following them after binge reading a few of their fics. And surprisingly, they followed me back. I was stunned, honestly. Someone I admired had noticed me! Me, who hasn't been active in any fandom in a long time, got in with someone I admired rather quickly.

They invited me to a server on Discord, and we talked more and more. Eventually becoming really, really good friends. I had never connected with someone as quickly as I did with them. We clung to eachother, in a way that I realize now was ultimately rather unhealthy.

I defended them when a 'friend' of theirs insisted on belittling them in the server. Like, I ripped into this person. I don't tolerate bullying, and if I see injustice of any kind, then I speak up. So that's what I did. And this person appreciated that. Probably too much, since this ultimately bit me in the ass later, but I'll get to that.

We, and a few other friends, started a fandom project. This project was met with... a lot of drama and controversy. We lost a friend in the process, and a few of our contributors left rather quickly. But we stuck with it. I would have defended that project and the people who were part of it with my life. And for a good chunk of it, I felt I had to. I answered asks, some of which were honestly nasty. I put out our PR announcements, and was met with some backlash with some of it.

I started to become friends with one of our contributors, @casualpastelgay. We had a shared love of Zen, and I was so, so happy to have someone to gush with about him, because my other friend disliked him so heavily. So I stopped talking about him with them, because I always seemed to be met with annoyance and animosity when I talked about him. Because he wasn't Saeyoung, and because this person also associated Zen with an ex-friend of theirs (the same one I defended them against previously).

I invited Raine into a server I made for my friends. And we talked about Zen in there. As well as discussing Vanderwood with @lokiiwood. My other friend decided that because we weren't talking about Saeyoung or Saeran, that they no longer had a voice. I was accused of replacing them as my best friend with Raine. I was made to feel awful for having friends other than them.

I had to deal with this while being sick, and camping with my (now ex) boyfriend and his family. I had to deal with dysphoria, and being misgendered and dead named, as well as the anxiety that I felt like my friendship with this person was crumbling for reasons I didn't even know. Because they weren't talking to me about why they were upset.

If I recall, shortly before this, I had started working on a Choi Sandwich fic that was meant to be a gift for this person. But, I was dealing with stress and so focused my attention to discussing an idea that was deeply important to me involving Zen. And I was bitched out for even thinking of an idea that wasn't this gift for them. Something that was meant as a stress reliever was treated with contempt by someone who I believed had my back.

They actually left my discord server because they were so upset at me.

The nail in the coffin on this? They had been complaining about how another friend acted jealous towards our friendship, and how they just wanted to be allowed to have other friends... but then turned around and acted the exact same way towards me.

We worked out our shit though, and I thought things were fine. But they threw a fit when I started getting closer with Karin/@lokiiwood as well. I had... a massive crush on her and they knew that, and got upset that I was talking to her as much as I did??

All throughout this, things were going... weird with the project we were modding. @fiftyshadesofdes had joined our team, as well as a few others, but I mention Des specifically because this person was truly awful to her. They got upset when one of our other friends starting getting close to Des and her date mate, @joz-stankovich. I heard numerous times how they thought that Joz and Des were petty and childish. And they misgendered Joz numerous times, which I got frustrated hearing, too. Because if they couldn't use their preferred pronouns, how could I expect this person to use mine when talking to others? As a trans guy, this deeply upset me, but, I held my tongue.

It reached the point where they were actually trash talking the art and writing of these two in private to me. Which was disheartening because they spoke so highly of them prior to Joz and Des deciding that they needed to step away from this person.

One of our other friends had also stopped talking to them for a while because of how they were being treated. And good lord... the amount of times I was complained to about how childish they were being. And how hurt they felt by this person... was honestly overwhelming. Remember how I mentioned earlier that my need to help bit me in the ass? Yeah, I went and talked to this person, and helped the two of them repair their friendship. It felt good to help, but now I feel as though my kindness and need to help was taken advantage of.

While all this was going on, I had to take a step back from the fandom project. I had a lot of life changes going on, and my mental health was getting extremely bad. To the point where I genuinely wanted to kill myself. I had split up with my boyfriend. I moved back in with my mom and brother. My grandmother passed away. My life was honestly a mess.

This person was by me through all of that. The mod team understood why I needed to take a break.

And then I got a new job. And I met my current boyfriend. And I stopped being online as much. I tried to message friends when I could, providing updates. Life was looking up.

My friend ignored me. Every single time I messaged them.

Until they finally responded, getting very upset with me for not being around. For 'abandoning' them. I got upset in return, and I lashed out. I think them getting upset with me for being happy and having a life was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I was told I was being replaced on the Choi Sandwich Week mod team. Because I couldn't be trusted to commit to it. So I left the blog and gave them full control. I transferred ownership of the discord server for it to them and left. I was so hurt that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.

They left all of our other mutual servers in return.

A few days later I was informed by the current head of our fandom project that I would not be credited as part of the team because it was unfair to the others for me to be credited when I was taking a mental health break. Despite all the work I put into handling things on the blog. Despite the fact that I had been a part of this project from its conception. I had been through hell and back for this project, and this is what I got in return?

I told myself I was okay with that. And then a day or two later I saw that my ability to see all the channels in the server for this project had been revoked. And I was so deeply upset that I just... gave up. I left. I was done being treated like a villain for doing what I felt I needed to. I had been told that my not being credited had nothing to do with my personal relationships with anyone in the team, but the fact that it was mentioned, and what happened afterwards just proves that it absolutely did.

After our fight, I had made the decision to block this person on tumblr and twitter. And I made a post about how a good friend had hurt me. I was upset and I needed to vent. Joz, Des, and Karin were there for me. Joz and Des being surprising to me at the time because I thought they disliked me for being as close with this person as I was. I was pleasantly surprised that they were so open and accepting of me when I reached out to them.

Some time later, I tried to reach out to this person again though. Because I was hurting. How does one go from being best friends to practically hating eachother overnight like that?

I got bitched out for defending myself. For venting. For blocking them when I assumed they wanted nothing to do with me. I was the bad guy once again.

I also found out recently that they hurt my friend @aromaticboar as well. I don't know if they even realized they did it, but still. I know she's done chasing down their friendship, and so am I.

I will not name this person in this post, but anyone who wants to know is welcome to send me a DM. To those of you who know who I'm talking about... thank you for being by my side while I pulled myself together again after I was hurt.

And to anyone who has been manipulated or emotionally abused, by this person or anyone else... know that you are not alone. I stand by you and am always open to talk.

Thanks for listening.

Warning against Kirinowa server

So, hello everyone (including the ones who will read this post). So for starters, I want to say that I hope this will be the only time when I will do this because I don't like to stir up trouble and drama but it's needs to be done. Because this is not a topic that it's related to the message this tumblr page was supposed to transmit.  So without further delay, let's start. As you, people who have seen this page may know, I'm a multishipper. I like a lot of ships (some of which may seem controversial or problematic for some people). And there are some ships that I hate, don't see their compatibility or can't see in a romantic way (but I never bash those ships... I prefer to ignore them). So up until yesterday, June 3rd, 2021, I was a moderator on the Kirinowa discord server. And also yesterday, I got kicked from the server without any warning whatsoever (and another thing, I never broke any rules of that discord server because I was the one who came up with the rules so it would kinda hypocrite of me to break my own rules). So now I want to talk about how it got to this point and why people shouldn't join Kirinowa discord server. 1) Back in March 2021, I beta-read a one-shot fiction for the admin of the server called Kirinowa. All good to this point. Then she posted that fiction without having the common sense to mention her beta-reader (something that I never do in my own works... I always mention my beta-readers, because this is how you respect, first yourself as a person, then the ones who helped you... one of my values is to acknowledge and recognize in some way the ones who helped you). I didn't say anything about the matter at the time. I thought that maybe that's how her culture it's like... things like that. Though right now I wish I said something back then (even if I told her in DMs on discord about this on June 3rd she just didn’t care). Also, if you want proof to point 1, you can always leave me a message and I will provide you with proof (so my statement, it's not without proofs but I don't like to post them on the internet). 2) You aren't allowed to talk about anything that it's not related to Kirinowa in the general channel on the server. So what I mean by not being allowed, you might ask yourself? So at some point you were indirectly shut up in a conversation if you talked about something else. When it first happened to me, I was talking about Miraculous Ladybug (another series that I like) and the member I was talking to, straight point told me to get back to Kirinowa even if no one was engaged in a conversation about them (I gave her an answer accordingly, that I think makes her think a little bit about about she reacted... or at least I would like to think it did). The second time it happened, it was during a conversation with Kirinowa herself.  We were talking about ships from another fandom (I won't give details about the fandom or the ships because I don't want to be attacked by antis Kirinowa but loves those two ships). The respective ships were also one of the ships that Kirinowa likes, but nonetheless, she was the one to shut me up back then, which forced me to become less active in the server because I didn't want to be shut up again. I think it's okay to have a server dedicated to a ship where people are free to talk about the happiness that that ship brings to them, but it's not good to become an obsession and to shut up people when they are talking about other stuff (and now this is pretty hypocrite coming from Kirinowa, because she talked about the Darklina and no one shut her up). I'm a member of many discord servers and in none of the servers people were shut up (only in the ones from which I got kicked where the admin was a toxic person and abused her power as an admin). 3) Baseless accusations So like I mentioned above, I'm a multishipper and I avoid ships that I don't like or have no interest in (but never bashing them or spreading hate about them).  So two days ago, Kirinowa made a statement directed to the moderators (alongside other members) where she asked us to not bash other ships because we would be like the antis (this happened due to the fact that someone used bad words while talking about a ship). This was the last straw for me (I already had two nightmarish weeks in real life, I wasn't about to back down from this crap thrown in my direction). And I told her that I'm miffed about her baseless accusations and to show me the proof of those things she said I did. And her answer was that I shouldn't take things personally. Like hell, I wouldn't. So in her statement she mentioned moderators (one of which was I) and then when I ask for proof to back her up, she is telling me that I'm taking things too personally. Then to make things worse another member ganged up on me, and Kirinowa (I feel disgusted at this point using this name to call her as such because she is toxic while the ship is not) didn't have no reaction whatsoever. Then in her specific style, she decided to close off the matter and move on. So she attacks me, I ask her for proof, she tells me that I'm taking things too personally, another member gang up on me, she doesn't have a reaction and then she choose to close the matter. Of course I talked to her in private, but she only gave me the same answer. That I'm taking things too personally and that is not about me. As long as she mentioned moderators (me being one of them) then give me proof of the things you said I did. 4) Breaking rules and making up lies So one of the rules that I came up with for the server was:  1) Be respectful and kind. Do not name call. There is an actual human behind the screen. We come from different backgrounds and many of us are dealing with illnesses or mental health issues. Please refrain from making anyone feel invalidated for their opinion. Politely disagreeing is encouraged. This is a place where you will not be judged for your interests, but please be aware of differences. Moreover, do not bash any authors for any reason. Please refrain from making anyone feel invalidated for their opinion.  - that's everything Kirinowa stands against. If someone tells her that her behavior is not okay, that person will be belittled and invalidated. At point 3) my feelings didn't matter. No, I was taking things too personally. And Kirinowa broke her own rule by doing what she did. So due to the shit that happened to me in the last two weeks in real life and the abhorrent crap Kirinowa made me go through made me snap yesterday morning. I told her everything that bothered me regarding her toxic behavior (I called her a toxic person and a cyberbully) and then I blocked her on discord and I left to take care of my own business. Because I hoped that she will meditate about what I said to her and maybe realize that she did wrong. Higher expectations for a person that loves power more than anything. When I checked up discord, I noticed that Kirinowa group wasn't in my list any longer. And I realized that I got kicked. Then I asked another member (who I won't name in this post but who noticed the toxic behavior of Kirinowa, too) what she (here I mean Kirinowa) said about me being kicked.  The answer of that member was that Kirinowa said that she won't tolerate being blocked on her own server (the perfect example of abuse of power; I will only kick people if they broke the rules of the server or I realize that they could become a danger to the server... I was none of these). For one, discord and discord servers are too different entities (they are not the same). You can block someone on discord (as in discord in general, not servers) And two, she won't tolerate being blocked, but others need to tolerate being shut up and invalidated, right? And also, according to this member that I talked to, Kirinowa said that if someone believes that environment is toxic they are free to leave. I never said such things. I called her a toxic person, not the environment. But I suppose she wanted to fall on her feet, so to speak. So this was a lie, she spread (possibly in her attempts to make me look like the villain).  And what do you know? The member ,who, two days ago ganged up on me got promoted to the admin (alongside others). This is, also according to my source. So the way to get higher in the hierarchy of Kirinowa server is to gang up on others (I only talk about the member who ganged up on me and got promoted, not the others).  And I think that other members who asked about why I was kicked were shut up by the cyberbully Kirinowa. I have also a discord server and I always take in consideration two things for an international server: the cultural differences (stuff that isn't sensitive for some culture, could be sensitive to other cultures) and the fact on how you are wording statements in English (due to the people who have English as a second language and the message would be different than to a native). Kirinowa preferred to overlook these two things and to not give a fuck about them. And also Kirinowa choose the easy way to solve problem. As far as I know, you can tag people on your server (even if they blocked you... as long as they still are members in the server, you can do that). But she wasn't up for communication. She was only up for extreme approach. So here it's my advice to you: don't join her discord server. She is very toxic and a cyberbully in her own right. I never shut up people, I admit when I went too far or I did something wrong, I never threw baseless accusations around, I don't make up lies and I always respect my beta-readers. So if you receive an invitation from this twitter account: https://twitter.com/Kirinowa1 or any of its followers, I urge you, do not accept. So I will end my tirade with this: All that's necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. (Marinette, Miraculous Ladybug).

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH 

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN 

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW