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scribblingfangirl · 3 years

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GLOWING IN THE DARK #1 | The Punisher - Billy Russo

not my gif!

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Author’s Note: Thank you so so much for the wonderful reactions to the first part of this series! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it and are interested in reading more! I honestly wasn’t expecting that! I hope you enjoy this part as well! I know it’s a bumpy ride: English is not my first language, I’m slowly trying to ease myself back into writing and this wasn’t beta-read. So please excuse the horrible mistakes! Also: As I’ve been asked I’m now including a taglist for this series at the bottom. If you want to get added to it just shoot me a message! (:

word count: ~ 3k

summary: A few years after making the deal with Frank Y/N arrives on a new base and promptly runs into a handsome dark-haired man, or rather he into her, as a game of British Bulldog is played.

warnings: suggestion towards rape (if I forgot anything, please tell me!)

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The silence was almost deafening and the cold humid air a relief after sitting in the loud helicopter, earmuffs could only do so much, and the hot dry air the rotators and motors brought to you for the past four hours. You were the first one out the helicopter, the rest of your crew with the exception of the pilot following suit.

"Welcome home... I guess?" Kosky, your crew chief, threw you your bag from the helicopter.

You heard a desperate sigh and turned around to see Dane, the co-pilot, poking at the ground. “That’s… that’s sand-like. Where the hell are we and how long are we going to be here? I didn’t pack for… whatever the hell this is,” he complained.

“Don’t be like that Dane,” Garth muttered as he leaned out the pilot door of the helicopter. “Don’t you have beauty products for all kinds of environments in your bag? Anyway, nothing to worry about. I’m sure Y/L/N will lend you some of hers if your sensitive skin breaks out or something.”

You snorted, closing the door behind him as he stepped out of the helicopter. “You’ll better be glad if I find an old, still usable Chapstick in the depths of one of my pockets. That will be the best thing I can offer you.”

“Anyway,” Kosky tried to bring your attention back to him, “I’ll go and talk with the commanding officer of this base and try to figure out why we were stationed here and if we’re going to be the only ones or if others will follow later. You guys try to find someone to show you around.”

“Sure, I’ll just quickly-,“ you started to say while you moved towards the helicopter again to get your mechanic kit, but shut your mouth when you felt, and then saw, Kosky glare at you.

"No. Pete's been a good boy. He deserves his rest and so do you. One that involves a good shower and some food. Let's go!"

x-x

Freshly showered and in clean clothes you made your way around the camp, catching some of the last sunrays of the day. You had lost Garth and Dane after running into a fellow Marine that showed you around and left you in front of the showers. Seeing as there were no other women on the base, and therefore, no need for separate showers the boys had proposed to stand guard while you showered after them. Why or when they decided to leave you alone was a mystery to you.

Braiding your wet hair, you walked around trying to recognize or remember anything you were shown or told during your quick tour. However, you only managed to catch a glimpse of Pete through the tents. ‘Better than nothing. Might as well quickly check him out and then go find someone. Who knows? Maybe someone will find me.’

As if your thoughts had manifested him a tall man with slicked-back dark hair and a rather well-groomed beard appeared from the other side of Pete. “They told me I’d find you here.” He gave you a once-over and chuckled. “Well, this certainly explains their usage of ‘she’ and ‘her’. Come on. You’re probably just as hungry as them.”

You followed the man quietly through the different tents until you started to hear noises. They grew louder and you finally realized that you were hearing voices and the clinking of kitchen utensils. A nice scent filled your nose the moment you entered the dining tent and almost immediately your stomach let out a loud grumble.

“Yeah, that’s what I guessed. Don’t worry. There’s still plenty of food. We eat in shifts and you’re just in time for the last one.”

You turned to face the man beside you and saw that he was already smiling down at you. ‘His eyes are just as dark as his hair. But they can’t actually be black, right? I’ve never seen such a deep brown in my life. They’re beautiful.’

“Y/L/N. Nice to see you found your way to us as well. I guess I’ll have to talk to Jandro and Dane tomorrow about team spirit and human manners. They’re back there,” he pointed to the back of the tent where you could make out Danes blond hair and a man with his face deep in his food, who was looking like he’d be eating his plate as well. Probably Garth. “They’ll show you to your tent. You three are roommates. I’ll brief you tomorrow about everything. Have a nice evening.” Leaving the tent, he nodded at the dark-haired man and disappeared from your view.

“Damn, a whole tent for just three soldiers? Normally I’d be jealous but seeing what nice friends you have there I’m not so sure anymore. I prefer knowing they got my back and don’t run away at the first sign of food.”

You laughed and waved that comment away. “You see the guy who’s currently almost eating his plate as well? That’s Jandro, but we all call him Garth, which is short for Garfield. I’m used to food being chosen over me. Hey, I don’t think I caught your name-”

“Y/N!” Dane and Garth shouted simultaneously over the heads of the soldiers as they saw you. “We’re so sorry! We were going to wait, but then someone passed by and told us it was dinner time. You’re a big girl, so we weren’t afraid of you drowning in the shower.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh you rolled your eyes as every last head in the tent turned towards you. Great. Pressing your lips together you just gave them two awkward thumbs-ups and thankfully everybody turned their heads back to their food.

“Come on, looks like they’re going to eat me next if I don’t finally deliver you.” The man pushed you through the space between the tables until you were seated next to Garth who pushed a full platter in front of you. Eyeing this gesture the man faced you one last time before disappearing somewhere in the dining tent. “Name’s Billy by the way. I’ll be around if you ever… decide on upping your friend game.”

x-x

After dinner, the boys showed you to your tent. Dane started to do his nightly routine while you and Garth decided to enjoy the early night exploring your new temporary home for the time being.

“I’ll go search for some of the guys who were sitting at our table. Don’t," he grabbed your wrist and raised his index finger to emphasize his words, “go checking on Pete.”

Walking around the base you once again saw Pete in the distance, crossed paths with familiar faces from dinner, to whom you nodded politely and even passed the showers. It would take you one or two days and seeing the base in broad daylight, but you knew you’d soon be able to find your way around.

A familiar tune caught your attention and you followed the sound of a guitar being played, accompanied by an oddly familiar, but really beautiful, singing voice.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

Without any second thoughts, you pushed aside the plastic tarpaulin covering the entrance of the tent and stepped inside. The first thing you saw where the lined-up beds on either side of the tent. Somewhere occupied with men reading or writing something, but most of them were vacant, as their owners were sitting together either on or around two beds towards the end of the tent, creating a circle.

And then you saw him. There, leaning carefully against the tent wall, his trusted guitar in his hands, was Frank. But he wasn’t the one singing. Your eyes slid over the flock of men until they rested upon the dark-haired man – Billy – who was sitting on the bed beside Franks and just finishing the song.

An old memory shot through your head. Maria, Frank and you sitting in a car going to the airport. ‘That's why you've been pestering me into introducing her to Billy.’

Frank’s voice brought you back to the present. “You always have a guitar in deployment. Sit around, you got time to, uh, you know, learn new songs, come up with new shit."

Smiling you decided to make yourself known and stepped forward. "Yeah. You were always really good at the shit part. Though honestly? Where the hell do these new guitar skills come from? This actually sounded good!"

Frank’s head shot up and a smile took over his facial features. "Y/N!"

"She’s just being honest here, Frankie boy. This was by far your best- Wait, hold on. You guys know each other?"

But before either of you could answer Billy or anybody else could say something as well, Frank had thrown his guitar into the lap of the guy next to him and himself around your neck. “I knew it! When they told us a UH-1Y Venom with the callsign Blackbird would be arriving shortly I thought it might be you. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up. And then I saw the helicopter but couldn’t find you at dinner…” He had led you back to his bed and waved the guys away who begrudgingly dispersed back to their own beds or left the tent altogether.

“Billy, this is Y/N. The marine friend I told you about. She was a foot soldier as well but betrayed us for the sky. Not that I think it’s any better up there. Down here you can be naïve and only see what’s right in front of your nose, but up there… well. Anyway, met her through Maria. She was actually one of the women who had the guts to laugh at my excellent guitar skills. Y/N, this is Billy-”

“The guy you’re only allowed to introduce me to if you beat me in a round of friendly combat. At least as far as I remember.”

Billy smiled at that exchange and looked at Frank. “Ah yes, the deal. I heard stories about that. Didn’t think there’d actually be any truth to that though. I guess it’s a good thing we already met. You can’t possibly think of ignoring your knight that saved you from starvation by leading you to the glorious dining tent, sweetheart.”

“No, but I could try to arrange for you to be eaten by my boys if you keep calling me sweetheart.”

Raising his hand in surrender Billy turned around to lay completely on his bed and grabbed a book from the ground. “She’s got fire Frankie boy, gotta give her that.”

You got a quick glimpse of the title page of the book. The Picture of Dorian Gray. ‘A man that knows his literature, interesting. Would not have given him that one’.

“Though, sweetheart,” Billy said as he lazily opened the book and flipped through it, searching for the right page, “As much as I think I could handle your boys. We wouldn’t want that, would we now? God made me this way for a reason. Would be a real shame if I weren’t able to share the complete wealth anymore.”

‘Ah well, there it is. Never mind. Just another dude who is full of himself.’

Sensing your eye-roll from a million miles away Frank turned you towards him. “We like to call him ‘Billy the Beaut’. He still has to grasp the ‘quality over quantity’ concept. And! Before you ask, because I know you will, Maria hoped you’d become the quality. Frank leaned closer and shot a quick glance at Billy who kept on reading, “Deep down Billy’s a great guy. It’s just his defence mechanism.”

Sighing you stretched your arms into the air to relieve your back of some of the tension accumulated by the long flight and you didn’t even realize that your shirt raised a little bit to reveal the skin underneath. You did feel the looks the other men gave you though and felt how Frank quickly pulled the shirt back down.

“Watch it!” His tone made Billy look up from his book and take a confused look around. “This ain’t a space for a woman. They’re hungry, like feral dogs. Not that I like to think like that about my fellow Marines, but we are surrounded by war. Wouldn’t be the worst thing they do.”

“Fine…,” you stood up and faced the rest of the tent. “If you’re such dogs, let’s play fetch! This way I can show you that you shouldn’t cross my path… or of my boys.” You added that part specifically for Billy. “But don’t worry, we’ll go easy on you.”

You moved to face Frank again. “After all. You do kinda still owe me a friendly round of combat.”

“Tell us. What did you have in mind kid?”

x-x

It had started to rain in the time it took you to gather the majority of the base, including Garth and Dane. Laughing you shook your head, spread your arms and greeted the cold and heavy rain on your warm skin.

Garth, Dane and you were positioned opposite to the rest of the men (thanks to your big mouth), or where you guessed they would be. The dying light and lack of any other light source in addition to the rain didn’t make this an easy game. But a fun one.

“The rules are simple!” Frank’s voice boomed over the playing field and not even the rain was able to quiet him down. “Only one bulldog per player – we’re all grown-ups and do not need help or serious injuries – and to turn a player into a bulldog they have to be restrained to the ground for three full seconds. Be it on their back or their stomach, both count! Ready? Set. GO!”

At first, the splashing caused by multiple boots running across the playing field was the only thing you heard. Then came the first shout, shortly followed by another. Out of the corners of your eyes, you saw Garth and Dane crashing into two soldiers, taking them down with them and just in front of you, you were able to make out a shadow running straight towards you.

With a yell, Frank dove to the ground and knocked your legs out from under you. Creating a splash, you fell on your back, already trying to flip yourself to the side to have more possibilities to block anything Frank might throw your way. But Frank wasn’t there anymore.

Confused you stood up, blinking against the merciless rain trying to find Frank. Around you, several silhouettes were fighting each other. Some were still standing, others rolled around on the ground. Lone shoes and some t-shirts were spread on the playing field, almost undetectable under the rising level of water on the ground.

You heard him too late. With another yell Frank sprang on your back, making your knees buckle under you due to his weight. With a groan you hit the ground face first, his large body covering yours, making it impossible for you to move.

“Last time I checked I was the bulldog,” you panted, spluttering on the horrible muddy water accumulating in your mouth.

“Last time I checked you were the one who wanted a friendly round of combat. Obviously, I won, but don’t worry, you’ll get another chance.” And then he was gone again, and you gasped for air.

x-x

You had no idea how long the game had been going on. If it was still going on. Due to the conditions, it was impossible to know who was still a player and who had been already turned into a bulldog. Soon the others had taken you and Frank as an example and the game had turned into several friendly combats.

Just as you were contemplating asking around if the game was over, a body slammed into yours and took you straight to the ground with him. Automatically your legs went around his waist to try and flip you both around with the momentum, but the mystery man grabbed your throat lightly and put his elbows and part of his weight on your chest. You were trapped.

“What was this big speech about not crossing your path, sweetheart? I don’t see any actions following your words.” His breath and touch were scalding hot on your skin.

You weren’t even given the possibility to answer as a new voice boomed over the playing field. “Alright! That’s enough boys! To bed with you!”

In an instant, Billy let you go, stood up and disappeared in the darkness.

“Hey! We weren’t done yet!” you shouted through the sound-dampening rain.

“Give it up. You’ve been a helicopter gunner for way too long, you’ve lost your touch,” Billy answered from only a few feet away, grabbing some forgotten items to bring back to the soldiers. “It’s late and we’re frozen to the bone. We do have better things to do than catching pneumonia, you know?”

You huffed, almost swallowing a mouthful of water while foolishly trying to wipe the wet hair out of your face. "Like what? Reading literature and complaining about beans in your food and the unavoidable fart fest in your tents? No. You know what I think? I think you’re glad it ended. You’re afraid that I could actually kick your butt."

Billy smirked as he turned around to you. "I’d let you do much more to my butt than just kick it. I mean…," he stepped closer, leaned down until you could feel his breath on your neck and whispered, "If you want to see my backside, there are other - less violent and more pleasurable - possibilities to get what you want. All you gotta do is ask."

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Taglist:

@blackbirddaredevil23

#billy russo x reader #billy russo oneshot #billy russo one shot #billy russo #the punisher x reader #the punisher one shot #the punisher oneshot #the punisher #my writing #viascribbles

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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 years

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chapter seven: crash and burn

“we can destroy what we have written but we cannot unwrite it.” -a clockwork orange

She knocked on the door panel. She had no idea as to what time it was, but he did tell her to visit him whenever she could during their stay there in Germany. Sam awaited there in the hallway in her pajamas and she wondered if he even heard her knuckle on the wooden panel. Her body felt as though it was about to weaken and wither away even more from her being wide awake at the dead of night: indeed, a slight chill settled over her shoulders even with it being not too cold there in the hallway.

She knocked again.

“I'm comin', I'm comin',” he called out from the inside the room. A soft click on the other side caught her attention and Scott stepped out of the room with his hair disheveled and his eyes squinted a bit. He tugged his Sam Kinison shirt down his body to maintain modesty, and then he bowed his head and rubbed his eyes.

“Scott?” she asked him in a gentle voice.

“Oh, hey, Sam,” he greeted her as he rubbed his eyes again. “What's going on?”

“I need someone to talk to,” she confessed.

“Um—okay. Come on in.”

He stepped out of the way for her and she made her way into his bright lit room, a small space with merely one queen sized bed right in the middle of the floor: the bed spread had been bunched upon the floor right under the foot of the mattress. His suitcase stood upright against the dresser on the right side of the room. A small white bucket stood upon the table next to that, as did a crumpled up piece of tissue paper.

“Did you just wake up?” she asked him as he stepped around her and took his seat on the edge of the bed.

“I did, yeah,” he replied. “It only feels like I just fell asleep, too.” He cleared his throat and he ran his fingers through his thinning dark hair. “So what's going on?”

“Mind if I sit here next to you?” She gestured to the bed's edge right next to him.

“Not at all. Please do.”

She took her seat right there next to him.

“I spent the day with Alex—and I more or less left him behind at the train station close to the East German border.” Given it was so late, she drew a blank on the actual name of the place.

“What—What do you mean you left him?” Scott gaped at her. Even though he had just woken up, once the words left her lips he was wide awake and in total shock.

“Joey led me away from there because the train was leaving.”

“Did you tell him that Alex was there with you?”

“No, I—I couldn't,” she explained. “It's okay, though, Alex is back with us now. He's safe in the bed right now. But he was—he was pretty upset.”

“Yeah, I would be, too.” He looked on at her, horrified.

“I stood at the door of the train car and I called him when I saw him. He couldn't make it time, though.”

“Oh, I see. The train was aboutta leave and you were calling to him. The fact you didn't tell Joey about it, though.”

“Like I said—I couldn't. It was impossible.”

“Not if he was right there with you.”

“He was kind of away from me.”

“You still could've told him. Seriously, Sam—being on the outside of Anthrax has taught me that Joey's a good listener.”

“Well, it's just—” She cleared her throat. “—they don't really like each other much.”

“So?” Scott shrugged his shoulders.

“So what?”

“So what if they don't like each other? It's imperative that you could've told Joey. Or at least you could've stayed behind.”

“Thing is Joey dragged me onto the train at that point. But—like I said, Alex is back with us so it's neither here nor there at this point. I want to know how I can rectify things between me and him.”

“Well—did you apologize once you saw him again?”

“Yeah, that was the first thing I did.”

“And how'd he react to it?”

“He shouted at me and then he cried and ran back to the room. I stayed behind with Joey—”

“Good idea. You inadvertently gave him space.”

“And then I went to bed early because I felt bad about it. I get in the room and I changed my clothes, and—since it's me, him, Greg, Chuck, and Tiffany, and there's only two beds—I got in bed right next to him and I tried to console him about it right there. I could tell he was awake all the while, too. Oh! I forgot to say that he likened me to Aurora, too. He said that I became the very thing I'm up against and that's what Aurora became.”

“Wow.” Scott raised his dark eyebrows in surprise at her. “How are things with Aurora?”

“Ever since she got married, she's been on such an ego trip. Spends all her time at home with Emile and—they had twins a few weeks ago, too. I mean, you were at Alex's birthday party last year and she announced she was pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah, I was standing right there next to her. I didn't see anything wrong with it, though.”

“But you know, she made his day all about her. And the last time I spoke to her was on the phone over New Year's and—I didn't even recognize her, even over the phone.”

“Wow! So she got married and became a mother. She became a completely different person overnight it seems like.”

“Yeah.”

“You know, when Marge and I got married, I started to feel like a completely different person myself. It's a rite of passage if you will. It's like walking through a hallway but you become a different person at the very end of it. I'm sure you feel like a different person now than you did three years. I'm sure you feel like a different person now than you did on the twenty fifth of September two years ago.”

“I do,” she said in a soft voice as Cliff entered her mind.

“But he likened you to her, though,” Scott recalled what she said right before then.

“Yeah. He said I became the very thing I'm against. I just keep assuming he means the way Aurora's been behaving lately because I went with Joey—” She stopped right in her tracks. “He saw Joey on the train!”

“He probably did,” Scott said.

“He told me he doesn't know what I see in him. But Joey's my boyfriend—I had to go with my boyfriend.”

“There you go then. You answered your own question.”

“There what I go?”

“You chose your spouse instead of your friend. You were all about standing up for him in the face of Aurora choosing her romance instead of her friendship. You wanted her to think of her friend instead. It was something you were advocating up until that point. They have a word for that, Sam. It's called 'hypocrisy.' From what I've seen with him—with Alex, I mean—he absolutely despises that. That's his biggest pet peeve.”

“Is there a way to make it up to him, though? Is what I'm asking.”

“Well, you have to show him that you mean business. That you mean what you say and that you say what you mean. Really show it to him, too. Spend another day with him and show him something that you genuinely feel solid about. Another thing that can help with this is something intense. Show him that you care about him by grabbing his hand and yanking him out of danger rather than merely saying it. At least that's how it works with marriage—I'm sure the same thing can apply to straight up friendship, too. In fact, that also applies to a work relationship, too. One of the last things I told Joey before I left was you better start throwing your weight around here more or I'm out.”

“And he—didn't do it?” Sam was taken aback by that. Joey's playing his guitar felt like something that had been buried for so long and it took Scott's departure for him to realize that. It seemed uncanny in hindsight, that Scott had to leave in order for Joey to blossom as both a lead singer and a guitarist.

“Well, I mean, he kind of did. But I wanted him to be away from the hard drugs and the nonsense that comes with being a rock star. You know, when we were recording Among the Living, our producer kept wanting us to sound like Def Leppard?”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. The original playback was terrible, Sam. Charlie's drums were washed out, you could barely hear Frankie, and Joey's vocals bled out all over the place and it kept pissing me off all the while, too. Charlie was all like 'there's no way we can pull this off, Scott', like he was genuinely worried the record was fucked and we had to scrap it.” He knitted those thick eyebrows at her. “Have you spoken to Danny—Danny Lilker—lately at all?”

“No! Why? What's going on with him?”

“He actually had to scrap Nuclear Assault's second record because the production sounded like total shit.”

“Oh, no!”

“Yeah! When he told me that, I was like 'oh god.' So when Charlie and I were in the studio—all the way down in the Bahamas, no less—I was like 'oh, fuck, don't tell me we're gonna do the same thing Danny did with his record.'”

“So what'd you do?” Sam shuffled her feet underneath her and gave her hair a little toss.

“Turned off one of the microphones and turned up the distortion so there was more of a crunch to it. I told the producer about it and he goes 'okay', really slowly like that. Charlie was extra frustrated so he pounded on his drums extra hard. We were all pissed upon recording and it shows all throughout that record, too. But we saved our asses, though.”

“You still wound up leaving, though,” she recalled.

“Yeah—I was getting married soon and I needed to get away from the lifestyle Joey was living because he took it with him whenever we all got together.”

“I tried to get him out of it, though.”

“Keep getting him out of it,” he advised her. “He doesn't need to be around that shit, and neither do you or I or anyone. I've tried playing guitar while drunk and it's just—it just doesn't work out.”

“So you think maybe I should reach out to Alex in some way.”

“Yeah, actually show him something. He won't believe it otherwise. That kid is smart, Sam—his bullshit detector is more astute than that of most older adults.”

“Do you have any ideas?” she asked him, to which Scott shook his head.

“I'm afraid I don't,” he confessed. “I've crossed paths with him a few times in the past and even though it's enough for me to come to a conclusion with him that he's perceptive, it's not enough for me to tell you that.”

Sam sighed through her nose, and then she turned her attention to the dresser before them.

“You said you share a bed with them down the hall?” he asked her.

“Yeah. Me and him, and also Greg. I'm like nestled in between the two of them. I had to slide out from underneath the covers just to get out bed. You know, so I wouldn't to wake either of them up.”

Scott snickered at that.

“What?” she demanded, and he snickered some more.

“What!” she scoffed.

“Nestled in between two boys,” he chuckled.

“You know, Chuck and Tiffany made that exact same joke,” she pointed out. “How I'm in between two boys.”

“Kissin' all over ya and messin' around.”

“Scott!”

“You know, more often than not threesomes consist of two girls and one guy. But that's—that's kind of hot, though. Blowing two dicks at the same time—or blowing one of 'em and have the other lick you up. Or handling one of them while one of them is kissing you.”

Sam rolled her eyes at that.

“C'mon,” he teased her, “—I'm just tryin' to cheer ya up! I know Joey would do the same for you.”

“Yeah—you know, he would.”

Scott gazed on at her with a thoughtful look on his face once more.

“I haven't even told Marge this,” he began again, “but sometimes I think of going back to Anthrax. Like I think of calling Charlie and talking to him about it.”

“What's stopping you?” she asked him and he raised his left hand to her. “Oh, right, right... you can still do it, though. Don't make the same mistake Aurora made, Scott.”

He sighed through his nose at that.

“Hey—I have an idea. Seeing as it's hard for you to get back into that bed—would you like to sleep here for the rest of the night? It's late right now, too.”

“I don't really wanna bore you being here, though,” she pointed out.

“Why would it bore me?” he asked her.

“Well, because I'm just gonna go right back to sleep, though.”

“You know, being bored to tears is worse than being baffled to tears.” He patted on the bed behind him. “Come on. Come to bed.”

She sighed through her nose and then gingerly, she crawled back to the headboard and she lay down close to the edge of the mattress. Scott crawled back towards her as well and he lay down next to her with about six inches between them.

“I'm not gonna bite, you know,” he promised her.

She then remembered that he was married, and she was by legality herself. There was no way they would touch each other, or at least that was her assumption. She looked over at Scott and those thick dark eyebrows raised up a little bit to her. She sighed through her nose again and she inched closer to him. Still with a few inches between them, she lay there on her back.

“Besides, you looked like you were about to roll right off of the edge of the bed, too,” he noted as he sat up and made his way across the room. He switched off the light and he hesitated for a few seconds so his eyes could adjust to the darkness. Soon, she caught the sound of the covers next to her rustling. She helped him pull them up to her neck and shoulders.

Even though she was legally married at that point, she realized that she never once climbed in bed next to Bill. She had a room all of her own, but she wasn't any part of his family however. He just had there because he needed someone else there with him.

And she left him there. She left him there at the house.

But she couldn't afford to care however, especially after how he sealed up the whole entire house the couple of days before. He had to be left to his own helm and if that meant burning his own house down just to get inside, then he would do it. She felt more at home in New York, anyway, especially since Marla still kept her couch.

Within time, she fell asleep, and she soon awoke to Scott laughing at something.

Sam rolled her head over the plush pillow to find him seated cross legged right next to her.

“What's going on?” she asked him in a broken voice.

“God, this daytime German TV is hilarious,” he told her. “Can't understand a single word, but it's funny nonetheless, though. We even get channels from across the border, too, which is interesting.”

And she couldn't help but think of Alex right then, there in the bed down the hall with his socks and his little shorts.

“Did you eat breakfast yet?” she asked Scott.

“Me? No, not yet. Why?”

Sam nibbled on her bottom lip and then she peeled back the covers. She climbed off the bed and almost fell face first on the carpet.

“Bring back some streusel, please?” he called after her.

“Sure—” she called back as she hurried out the door and into the hallway. She returned to the room down the hall where Chuck and Tiffany were just coming right out the door themselves.

“There she is,” she said to Chuck.

“Hey, where've you been?” Chuck asked Sam as part of his good morning to her.

“I was just hanging out with Scott,” she promptly replied, “do you know where Alex is?”

“He's in the lobby getting breakfast—we were just going there ourselves,” Tiffany replied as she tucked a lock of golden blonde hair behind her ear.

Sam then doubled back to the lobby, and there by the window, all by himself, was Alex, with nothing more than a cup of coffee in hand. He flashed her a cold glare but he never moved from his spot as she came closer to him.

He held the cup down in front of him, with his hands wrapped around the base.

“Alex, listen to me,” she started, out of breath. Fuming, he took another sip of coffee but the fact that he glanced off to the side meant that he wasn't in fact listening to her. Indeed, as she cleared her throat to say something more to him, he downed the rest of it and stood up.

“Alex—Alex—listen to me. Listen to me, please.”

“Hey, Sam!”

She turned her head the other way and Frank and Joey waved at her from the lobby's entrance. But the boy who walked away from her was more important at that moment.

“Alex!” she called after him, and he kept on walking out of there through the other way. “Alex, wait—”

She chased after him even as he picked up the pace. But before he reached the door, she reached out to him and gently touched his arm. He tore around and glared at her, furious.

“Alex, please listen to me,” she begged him.

“I'm listening,” he snapped, disgusted.

She thought about what Scott had told her in those early hours. Her bottom lip trembled at the sight of him before her, so cold and hard. Colder than she had ever seen him before then.

“For crying out loud, speak, woman!” he barked.

“I wish there was something I could do to fix things,” she blurted out.

��Like what?” he demanded as he folded his arms across his chest.

“I—I don't know,” she stammered, and yet she couldn't cry. He closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. He then shook his head and turned away from her.

He kept on walking to the glass front doors of the lobby, still with his arms folded across his chest. Sam's eyes were as dry as bone even as she watched him go onward to the curb. She stood there with her arms down by her side.

A pair of hands covered her eyes from behind her right then.

“Hi, Zelda,” she said.

“What the fuck! How'd you know it was me?”

She lowered her hands and set them on Sam's shoulders. Zelda peered into her face with a big beaming smile.

“How'd you know that was me?” she asked her again.

“I had a hunch of sorts,” Sam replied with a shrug and Zelda burst out laughing at that. “Are you ladies playing at Monsters of Rock?”

“Nah—I wish, though! We're just passing through here—playing in Dusseldorf tonight and tomorrow! And then we're gonna be in Amsterdam on Friday.”

“Aw, cool!” Sam stepped out from the doorway and she faced Zelda straight on.

“And then there's going to be a big air show not too far from here. Min and Rose both wanna go to that, but we're happy to treat all of youses to it.”

“An air show? Like, at a military base?”

“Yeah! Joey actually suggested it to us but the two of them were like, 'yeah, let's do it!'”

“When is it?” Sam asked her.

“Um, Sunday, I think? It's the morning before Anthrax and Testament have to take the stage but I think they can make it, though. Even though we're not playing at Monsters, we'll try and catch those two shows, though.” Zelda winked at her.

If nothing else, Sam could be treated rather well by everyone else there in Germany.

In fact, Chuck, Tiffany, and Eric all treated her to a road trip up to Dusseldorf to see the Cherry Suicides as they opened for that one band out of Seattle that Alex had spoken about that night in Providence: Soundgarden.

It was the first trip over to Europe for both bands nonetheless, and while the Cherry Suicides were as tight and big as ever, the second band was just as interesting. The bassist, an Asian man with long fine black hair past his shoulders, and the lead guitarist, a brown skinned man with a long dark beard upon his face, stood in mirrored positions from each other on the stage. The lead singer, meanwhile, had long luxurious jet black curls sprawled over his chest and shoulders, such that the mere sight of him made Sam think of Joey: the big soaring voice only added to the feeling as well. And all the while, she could hardly see the blond drummer in the back: but every so often, she caught a glimpse of that rich blonde wave back there.

Where the Cherry Suicides were powerful, fast, and toeing the line of thrash, they seemed to bounce and meander around, much like the riff that Alex had played for Greg and Eric in the hallway.

And also where the Cherry Suicides were obviously girly and feminine in their prowess, Sam almost expected these four men to have big thick muscles on their bodies. These four strong men with stoic expressions plastered on their faces.

“These guys are loud,” Tiffany shouted over the wall of noise they were making; they stood at the back of the room and they still had to yell at one another.

“Good loud, though,” Eric shouted back, “you know, there's good loud and shit loud.”

“The girls are good loud!” Sam joined in.

“Yeah, and Testament is, too!” he laughed at that.

Something about them baffled her as well. They were called Soundgarden, and yet the name didn't seem to fit them. They were different and yet they could fit a bill with Metallica, Anthrax, and Testament. Given both bands were playing for two nights, Zelda offered to let the four of them stay in their van with them overnight but Chuck talked her out of it.

“We'll see you ladies in a couple of days, though,” he assured her with an embrace. If Sam had to fall asleep in the back of the van, she would, just so she wouldn't have to see Alex in bed next to her that night.

A six hour van ride back down to Munich and she indeed fell asleep next to Eric there in the back seat. If nothing else, she would spend the whole day with Joey instead, and she knew she would have to as well given their lack of a date following her return from Schweinfurt.

She lifted her head and she peered out the van window at the royal violet early morning sky over the top of Munich. She turned to Eric, who had leaned his back against the wall of the van and folded his arms across his chest. He was another one whom she never got to hang out with all that much, and yet she still managed to fall asleep right next to him in the back space there.

She knew Joey wasn't awake yet and thus she stayed back there for a little while longer with her eyes closed and the back of her head pressed flat against the van wall. Soon, the first rays of fresh sunlight shone into the windshield and Eric groaned inside of his throat.

Chuck and Tiffany had gone off somewhere from there; but she finally opened her eyes and she gazed on at the column of amber sunlight as it shone through the glass before her. She thought of that morning back in New York when Cliff was alive and they enjoyed a fresh cup of Mexican hot chocolate together. She thought back to Joey's birthday whereby they stayed in that cabin together.

If only there was a way. If only there was a simple way she could make it up to Alex and tell him that she never meant to upset him or leave him there close to the border. A simple way in which she could snap her fingers and bury the hatchet between the two of them. She sighed through her nose and she looked over at Eric and his slumbering face.

For all she knew right at that very moment, it was close to being hopeless. She need not get worked up about a lost cause such as him. She could just go back to Joey from that point onward.

Careful not to wake him, she opened the side door of the van and she climbed out to the pavement. She left it slightly ajar so Eric could get out himself by the time he woke up.

Even though she spent the morning with Joey and they took a walk about the streets of Munich together, she still had Alex in her mind. All alone there in the hotel room and with no one to talk to given Greg always left the room and Chuck and Tiffany were doing as many couple things as her and Joey. Even though she crawled into bed next to Joey back in his hotel room, she still wished for a way on the other side of that wall, just so she could speak to Alex.

Show him. Give him her word, just like how Scott had told her.

She put her arms around Joey's slender waist and she lay her head against his chest. She took in the smell of his cologne and the soft soap that riddled his rich, sunbathed skin. She kissed the side of his neck before she tucked her head right underneath his chin. She slid her hands down his back and onto the backs of his thighs to feel his softness.

There had to be a way. There had to be a way as she fell asleep in Joey's lanky arms.

And for all she knew, the show the next day could be one to remember.

Indeed, when she and Joey awoke the next morning, and he was all eager smiles, she had to force herself to smile back at him. If only she could tell Joey what she was feeling right at that moment, about him and about her friendship with Alex, that is if she had a friendship with him anymore.

Joey told her something about the new album being dedicated to her and Marla for being such good friends to them, but she never properly paid attention aside from the mere nod of her head and a void smile. She stood there off to the side of the stage as Anthrax performed another brand new song for the German crowd before the large dark castle. They called it “Now It's Dark” and it felt so appropriate once the sun had set over them.

Within a few miles of the East German border and she knew the darkness had settled all around her. If only she had her journal there with her so she could craft out a piece of art so as to demonstrate her feelings at that moment. All the black ink and the cold swirls in the wake of Anthrax's darkness. In the wake of the psychedelic darkness that Soundgarden had bestowed onto her.

So much great art she wanted to make right then and yet all she could do was stand there and watch the four of them perform all of those German people.

Soon, Testament took to the stage. Alex stood on the far end with that little red guitar pressed against his body and those jet black curls sprawled down over his face so she couldn't look into eyes. Chuck's vocals never sounded so strong and it was obvious that Louie and Greg had taken notes of tightness from Rosita and Zelda.

They, too, performed a new song, and one that was new to her given she hadn't listened to The New Order yet, called “Trial By Fire.”

Her mouth dropped open as Alex put his foot up on the amp and appeared to perform black magic upon the red guitar. The disgruntled look on his face and the way in which he tossed his hair back with a flick of his head.

He was giving his all right then and there for them. He was giving his all right then and there for her.

Indeed, he turned towards her side of the stage and walked towards Greg, but her eyes locked onto his for a few seconds. And yet it was more than enough for her to feel his wrath. Those deep eyes as cold as the California mountains in the winter time. Colder than she had ever dreamed of before.

Colder than she had ever imagined and yet burned into her memory even as she made her way back to the room with Joey.

The Cherry Suicides kept their promise and treated them to that air show the morning before Anthrax and Testament took to the stage again later that night. Sam tied her hair up in a tight ponytail and she wore her best low cut white blouse for Joey, who in turn put on a bright yellow Anthrax shirt and a little pendant in the shape of a music note. He held hands with her as they walked right behind Chuck and Tiffany to the air base together: Alex was right in front of them, all by himself still, while Zelda and Rosita were laughing it up with Eric and Greg at the back of the line. They strode past a chain link which closed off the base from the main road; far across the field was a stretch of field where all the spectators gathered around. They were running late, or least that was according to Rosita, but then again, neither of them wanted to turn something like this down, especially since Joey himself recommended it to them.

Despite Joey's soft hand and the memory of holding him whilst they lay in bed together was still fresh in mind, she still kept her eye on that head of jet black curls before them. Once in a while, he turned his head and she spotted that little plume of gray over his brow.

Joey squeezed her hand and then he lifted it up and kissed the back.

“Quite the date, don't ya think, babe?” he asked her with a big beaming smile on his face.

“Yeah, definitely,” she replied; she gazed beyond him to the protective metallic awning across the way and she wondered really how many people were going to be there that day.

At one point, Alex turned his head and he pointed at something.

“Oh, hey, yeah,” Chuck said. Sam looked off in that direction as three planes took off, one right after the other. They had to hustle if they wanted to see the main attraction.

But if only there was a way. If only there was a simple way she could make it up to Alex, even with Joey right next to her. A simple way in which she could snap her fingers and make everything better between the two of them. She sighed through her nose.

For all she knew it was hopeless. She need not get worked up about a lost cause such as him.

She could in fact just go back to Joey from that point onward—

BOOM.

The group halted right in their tracks right before the air field.

“What the hell was that?” Tiffany wondered aloud.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Chuck pointed up to the sky, at the planes as they crashed into each other on the far side of the air field. Shards of metal sailed over the field. The group ducked back from the fence all the while.

Sam felt something hold onto her arm.

Alex yanked her down to the ground to get her out of potentially harms' way. Metal tore and shattered apart behind them, and Alex yanked her away from there. Horrified, Sam covered her eyes. There was another crashing sound and that time Alex yelped out like a frightened dog.

“OH MY GOD!”

He almost stumbled onto the sidewalk. She felt someone grab her arm: she uncovered her eyes to see Eric and Louie guiding them away from the scene of the accident. Sam's ears rang and thus she could hardly hear what Eric was yelling back at her.

They ran away from there and across the street to the awning and the hangar: Sam clutched onto Alex's shirt sleeve and she dragged him further away from the fence.

“Get away from there!” Eric sounded as though he spoke through a metallic tube. “Let's get the hell away from here!”

She peered back in time at the sight of the massive bright fireball as it fell right into the crowd near them, right before their eyes. All those people. Sam turned away from the sight so she wouldn't have to witness it, but it already burnt itself into the backs of her eyelids.

And it was right then she realized what the mysterious man in her dreams meant when he said that the clock was her friend.

That could have been any one of them in the crowd.

That could have been any one of them on the bus.

Their touch before her. The last time she could've have touched them.

Cherish every moment, every touch.

Alex panicked right then and there: his chest heaved from the horror behind them. Sam stood before him with her hands clasped onto his shoulders. The tears in his eyes. The way the color washed out from his face. It was so close to them and yet they were so far away from it, and yet he panicked anyway.

“Oh my god—are you okay?” she asked him. He looked on at her with a look of fear in his eyes. Big like marbles. His brow tightened up with alarm. His face twisted with sheer terror.

“Are you okay?”

She never saw him this vulnerable before.

She put her arms around him and held him close to her. He buried his face in her shoulder like a scared little boy. He wept at the sight: indeed, every time she blinked her eyes, she kept on seeing it there. Even as the fire ball dissipated and vanished into thin air.

“It's okay,” she gently cooed right into his ear. The distant wail of sirens caught her attention. “It's okay—I got you. I got you. You're okay.”

He shuddered and shook in her arms, but she still held his body close to her. She stroked his back and gently rocked him.

“It's gonna be okay,” she assured him in a near whisper. “Everything is gonna be okay. Help is on the way—it's okay.”

Sam held Alex's head close to her chest and he closed his eyes all the while. Eric and Tiffany surrounded them and Chuck stood right before them; the crown of Alex's head smelled clean and soft, as if he had just washed his hair. His hair meanwhile felt as soft as the fur on a teddy bear. Indeed, it was like holding a little teddy bear.

Even though she had no children, she had to hold him as if he really was her own.

The sirens soon approached them to tend to the fire and all those spectators who had been vaporized by it.

Her memory faded a bit from the feeling, and the next thing she knew, she was seated right next to him at the back of the ambulance. The medics had draped blankets over their shoulders and gave them hot cocoa even though it was warm, late August day. Joey took to another ambulance with Chuck and Tiffany while Eric, Zelda, Rosita, Minerva, and Morgan gathered with a few of the medics. Alex sipped on his cup and he sighed through his nose.

He then cleared his throat.

“Thank you for that, by the way,” he told her in a low voice, and she turned her attention to him.

“It was all I could do for you right then,” she confessed with a shrug of her shoulders, “was get you away from the fence and to safety. We were a ways away from it, but—still. We needed to get away from there.”

His fingers quivered a little bit on the side of the cup.

“Hey—” she started again as she realized what she had been given right there. He glanced up at her.

“I really meant it when I apologized to you the other night. I didn't ever mean to leave you behind at the train station.”

He shook his head.

“Nah—the next train was coming in about an hour so I just hung out there until then. The conductors and the workers in there were all real nice to me because, you know—ich bin ein Amerikanischer. Right?” He showed her a little smirk.

She giggled at that and then she gasped in amazement.

“That was good,” she remarked.

“The guy in the ticket booth taught me that one. Anyway, they told me to stay there because those soldiers were literally around the corner there. It was pretty nerve racking, though, to be there near the border of East Germany. But I'll tell you this.”

“What's that?”

“It was... actually kind of cool. I remember thinking, 'holy hell, I am literally a stone's throw from the Soviet Union. Li'l ol' me, of all people.' I never thought I would be that close to it. And like I said, that wall over in Berlin is going to come down some day. When I was talking to one of the conductors—I guess they want nothing more than for Germany to be a single country again. Apparently everyone in East Germany does, too.”

“So it's a matter of 'when',” she followed along.

“Right!” He sipped on his hot cocoa and gazed down at the ground.

“One of the guys in there also taught me a little Russian. You know, just being within range of it.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“'Thank you' is spasibo—'thank you very much' is bol'shoye spasibo. 'Where's the bathroom' is gde vannaya and—I actually just asked him this for the hell of it.”

He turned his attention to her with his eyebrows raised and she stayed still there in anticipation. He cleared his throat.

“Ya khochu—” He lifted his gaze a bit as he recalled it. “—chtoby ty potseloval menya.”

“Come again?” she asked him, and he shrugged his shoulders at that. “Alex, what was that? That sounded dirty. Come on, you are my best kept secret after all.”

“Weird that you assume that,” he teased her as he took another sip of cocoa. “He goes 'little young man from America! We keep you safe from danger down street.'” He imitated a Russian accent at that and Sam giggled some more. They fell back into brief silence until she cleared her throat.

“So—second show tonight?”

To which he nodded.

“Yup, second one and then—we go home. Anthrax keeps on going, but we skedaddle back there.” He paused for a few seconds. “You know, it's funny. I don't really wanna—I don't want to leave.”

“I don't, either,” she admitted. “I kinda like Germany.”

“I do, too.” A little smile crossed his face right then. “I liked England, too.”

“I loved England,” Sam recalled. “Marla and I both loved it.”

“You know what's the one thing you and I still hadn't done yet?” he asked her, complete with a thoughtful expression across his face.

“What's that?”

“Visit Copenhagen.” She paused.

“Oh, damn!” She remembered it, too, and she tilted her head back and groaned in her throat at that.

“I was talking to Lars just yesterday over the phone,” he continued, “and I guess they're up there right now. He told me he'll send us Danish ice cream. Real Danish ice cream, too.”

“I suppose you wanna give me some of that,” she teased him, to which he shrugged.

“If you want. I asked him, 'why can't you just give it to us now?' and he goes 'because I'd have to drive down to Munich from Copenhagen and by then it'll be all melty' and I was like 'alright, alright.'”

She giggled at him again as he took another sip of cocoa. Joey's words from the night of her birthday rang through her mind at that moment. Soon they would have all the ice cream at their helm. She knew Alex would have all the ice cream he could ever ask for, especially if last night's show was anything to go by.

The only thing she could hope for was if everything went well.

Anything could happen. One of them could have a fatal bus crash on a road somewhere. One of them could burn up in a fireball near an air base somewhere. One of them could have no time left.

The clock was her friend, and she hoped to keep it that way, just how she hoped to keep Alex her best kept secret.

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pissjesus · 3 years

Note

aaa i forgot to ask the yesterday when you were like "send asks" but like would be cool to hear what type of music the planz crew would all like and if any of them can sing or play instruments. also maybe some songs you think either theyd like or that just really fit them as characters? ooo or you could do this for the new vampire ocs to like show off what their vibes all are

•Daisy’s music taste would be lot of girl-fronted bands like No Doubt, Blondie, Paramore, the Cranberries, Joan Jett, but she’s also very much a Dodie Clark-Phoebe Bridgers-Girl in Red-make-playlists-titled-“let’s go lesbians”-that’s-identical-to-3-other-wlw-playlists kind of bitch. None of her music taste is particularly weird or controversial but she’s still too insecure about it to man the aux chord. Her least favorite genre is nu-metal— which she has decided after hanging out with Wyvern for a while

•Asami likes things like metal and hyperpop. Her favorite artists are Babymetal, Rina Sawayama, White Zombie, Marina, Kim Petras, Willow Smith, Studio Killers, Doja Cat—along with kpop groups/artists like Orange Caramel, Sunmi, and Red Velvet. She describes songs as “cunty,” and can get down to almost anything, especially if it’s upbeat and you can dance (or mosh) to it. She knows Barbie Girl like the back of her hand. Her least favorite genre is probably “white dude with a guitar and reverb”

•Wyvern’s music taste is actually very similar to Asami’s and can also get down to most things (albeit because he sometimes likes things that suck), but with more thrash metal and nu-metal. He also enjoys a good 2000s club banger. Ghost wants to throttle him every time he requests limp Bizkit or Nickelback. However, if you show him a song, he’ll sit and listen to it. Asami got him into Taemin and Megan Thee Stallion. His actual favorite Lady Gaga song is Teeth but he says it’s Judas. His least favorite genre is whatever you’d consider easy-listening music

•Calvin likes The B-52s, The Beach Boys, Dolly Parton, Frankie Valli, and Kate Bush. He’s also a fan of musicals, but he’s not familiar with current ones. If Cats is “cringe,” it’s news to him. Also knows Barbie Girl like the back of his hand but not as open about it as Asami. Conversely, his husband Jason is *very* into punk, but they share commonality through Oingo Boingo. He also has a good theatrical singing voice. His least favorite genre is probably heavy metal

Val likes a lot of old music, like 30s-50s, and more modern things with a retro sound, like Amy Winehouse and Beth Hart. She tends to prefer music on the softer/slower side, and prefers having her headphones in rather than playing it aloud even if she’s alone. Some of her favorite songs are Ain’t No Sunshine by Bill Withers, Spooky by Dusty Springfield, and Crazy by Patsy Cline. She’s the best singer of the group and has a deep, raspy voice and her music reflects her range, but she gets embarrassed about singing in front of other people.

•Z is a former emo kid still mad they weren’t allowed to go to warped tour— My Chemical Romance and Black Veil Brides are their favorites. They also like Linkin Park, The Offspring, Mother Mother, Gorillaz, and Death Grips. They are also very touchy about having their music criticized. Their least favorite genre is “whatever’s on the radio.”

•I’ve probably already talked about Ghost’s music taste. His toxic trait is being a music critic. He likes a lot of stuff, but unlike Wyvern, he’s picky. He likes hip hop, disco, 60s-70s funk and soul, and psychedelic rock. He tends to prefer individual songs over entire discographies. His least favorite genre is whatever Wyvern is playing. He also plays instruments, including drums, keyboard, ukulele, and guitar.

I’ve made some playlists for each of them but they’re kind of old so they’re a bit of a mess, I’ll have to make updated ones and share them here

This is hella long so I’ll post a part 2 with the B Positives <3

#plan z #my ocs #asks #wa3jetisbestpony #sorry this is so long I’m on mobile and can’t use a readmore

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knives-out20 · 3 years

Text

Hypocrite - Cliff Booth x Male!OC

Fandom: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)

Pairing: Bobby Brightside (OC) x Cliff Booth, StarBeep, DeepSpace(????),

Warnings: Swearing, Faggotry, I cannot stop this shit, Who let me let this happen,

Notes: I just- I dunno. Enjoy!

Dedicated To: @mori-ohs

Bobby stretched his arms, Cliff creeping up on him and hugging him from behind. He smiled softly, leaning back into his lover. “Cliffy.”

“Bobby.”

“Havin’ fun watching me do all the work?”

“Maybe.”

Bobby scoffed, eyes scanning the stage. “I dunno why you bother comin’ with me to sound checks ‘n’ stuff” he thought out loud, Cliff kissing his temple.

“‘Cause I like your music. Not like I ever got anything better to do.”

“That’s true.”

Cliff and Bobby’s giggles melded into one beautiful sound, Bobby spinning to face him.

Beep’s shoulder twitched out of nowhere, as he and his brother Deep whispered the lyrics to some KISS song (Heaven’s On Fire), pretending to play the notes on their guitars. He chuckled as he locked eyes with Deep. “Feel my heat,”

“Takin’ you higher,” Deep nodded.

“Burn with me-” Beep lightly kicked Deep’s leg.

“Heaven’s on fire.” Deep scoffed, glancing straight up.

“Paint the sky-”

“-With desire” Deep’s eyebrows jumped, glancing over at Starchild.

Beep caught this and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Angel, fly;”

“Heaven’s on fire, whoo!” The two boys whisper-yelled, letting their guitars hang from their straps as they laughed to themselves.

“You had no right to look at Starchild, Derek” Beep shoved Deep, who chortled in return.

“I gotta clarify to myself whose in your lil’ head when this song comes into play, man” Deep shrugged, bandanna’d hands up in the air in surrender.

Beep kissed his teeth.

“Would you have rather we did Love Gun?” Deep inquired, nudging Beep with his elbow. “Or does Starchild also pull the trigger of your-”

“Shut up, shut up-” Beep hisses, waving his hands to signal for Deep to stop talking. “Don’t you have better things t’do, bro? C’mon, we both know how scared Penelope is of Gene, why don’t you go have fun with that instead?”

“Dude, my ass would be grass.”

“Mmh, whatever” Beep crossed his arms, stealing a glance over at Starchild.

Hmph. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body- uh, perfect singing voice, perfect talent, what doesn’t this guy have?

“Aww, you’re blushing!” Deep teased, poking Beep’s heated-up cheek.

“Can it” Beep turned back around.

“B-Beep!” Frankie called.

Beep looked over at Frankie, who was by the drums with Peter. “Eh?” He answered, head twitching.

“C’mere for a sec? We need your- need your help.”

Beep sighed in relief; an escape from the hell that was Derek Sweeney. “Sure thing!” He nodded, sending Deep a nasty look before jogging over to the drums.

Deep clapped, laughing softly as Beep ran off. “Weirdo.” He breathed.

“Heyyy, Derek, right?”

Deep spun around, looking up and seeing Ace. God, was everyone in this band a fucking giant?

Save for Peter, of course. Poor guys.

Ace was wearing those damned boots that made Deep only be up to around the base of his neck. He’s still taller than Deep without them, but still. He’s extra tall with them on.

“Uhh, yea. Deep’s my stage name, though. Peep ‘n’ Deep ‘n’ Beep, the Trippy Comedy Trio” Deep explained, sniffing.

“Ooh, I forgot you guys weren’t in this for the main run” Ace hummed. “Tell me a joke, then.”

“Eh?”

“Tell me a joke, jester.”

“‘Jester’...” Deep furrowed his eyebrows, but otherwise ignored it. “Why can’t Jesus eat M&M’s?” He asked, feeling a hush go around the stage.

This usually happened when Peep, Deep, or Beep told a joke.

“Why?”

“Because they keep falling through his hands.”

A beat of silence from all around.

Then, all hell broke loose from the Buddies leaning onto things and doubling over in fits of laughter.

Bobby fell to his knees by Cliff, and for the first time, not in a sexual way!

Deep puffed out his chest proudly, hands on his hips as he looked up at Ace.

Ace blinked, tilting his head as he processed the joke. When it hit him, he let out that high-pitched cackle that he was known to have. Ace clapped his big hands together, leaning back as his laughs bellowed out of him.

Deep grinned, reveling in the sight before him like a perfect view.

A perfect view with perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body- uh, perfect talent- hold on, what?

Deep shook his head of the thoughts, looking back over at Ace, who was still laughing, falling to his knees. Laughter was Deep’s favourite sound, especially if it was caused by him. But something about Ace’s laughter- caused by him- struck an electric cord, deep- pun intended- inside him. Deep gazed down at Ace, mind bubbling with a gazillion different thoughts when Ace and him where posed like that.

Ace slowly calmed down, panting as he looked up at Deep. “Damn, you go home to a- to a girl with that humor?” He asked, outstretching a hand.

Deep pulled him back up, Ace dusting off his knees. “Uh, not anymore. I used to, though. A gal named Jenny, used to make her laugh by serenading her with Jenny Take A Ride, good song.”

“Ah, damn shame, ain’t it?”

“Not enough to go rats over, anymore” Deep disagreed. “I’m way over her, anyway. I’m good to get back in the game.”

Ace looked Deep up and down, chuckling. “That’s the spirit, funnyman. See you in five” he nodded, ruffling Deep’s hair before he walked off.

Deep watched him leave, feeling something slowly bubble up inside him. He gently pat his hair, eyes trailing from the broad shoulders of Ace’s costume, which led down to his narrow waist. “...Rats” Deep quietly cursed.

Beep passed him by, knowing that look all too well. “Hypocrite.”

“HYYYPOCRIIITE!” Bobby called over, hands cupped around his mouth. He watched the whole thing go down, after all.

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is-this-a-skam-account · 5 years

Text

“Anything You Want”

5 Times Lucas Ran Into Eliott, and the One Time Eliott Runs Into Lucas

Or, Eliott is the really hot yard worker Mika has hired, and Lucas is trying to find a summer fling but may be way in over his head.

Lucas is certain there is nothing to do in this small excuse for a town. Every year of his life, for every summer since he was five, he has been doing the same things over and over. Going to the movies, going to the pool, going to get ice cream, or, his personal favorite, spending a night in with his friends. With only one small village within a twenty mile radius, there really isn’t anything to do. Now he is eighteen, the summer before his college years, and he has never been more bored out of his mind. He is sitting in his room at 9:21 just staring blankly at the wall, mind completely empty.

He already reached out to his friends, yet all of them were either at work or at a family-function. Lucas was thankful, however, that his roommates were out for the day. That left Lucas alone to strut around the unbearably hot house in nothing more than one of Yann’s large t-shirts Lucas had stolen and his boxers.

Lucas finally finds the strength to get out of bed and get himself something cold to eat. Preferably ice cream.

He grabs his phone off the nightstand, opening Instagram as he walks into the kitchen. He swallows hard and his grip tightens on the phone when his ex-boyfriend’s account is the first thing he sees. Oliver and Lucas broke up just a couple months ago, around April. Well, really it was Oliver that broke up with him. Lucas was confused as to why Oliver chose to break up, but then, when Lucas saw Oliver holding hands with another guy two days later, Lucas realized how stupid he had been. Obviously, he had been seeing someone behind his back. Thinking back on it, Lucas should have seen the signs. He should have noticed that they hadn’t been hanging out as often together. Oliver stopped spending nights with Lucas, always making an excuse why he would have to go home so early. Leaving the relationship left Lucas feeling hollow. He was left feeling like he wasn’t good enough for Oliver, that he didn’t satisfy all his boyfriend’s needs, even when he knew that wasn’t true.

There is still a pang of hurt that runs through Lucas’ heart when he sees the newest photo Oliver posted with his new boyfriend. Oliver had been the one to stand by Lucas during his coming out, so obviously there is still some attachments there.

Lucas turns his phone off and places it face down on the counter as he reaches into the freezer. He fishes out his small tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream before grabbing a spoon and going to sit on the couch and watch some Netflix. He doesn’t mind these lazy days, where he doesn’t go out and do anything, where he can stay home, binge watch any show, and maybe make a couple stains on the couch that Mika will later complain about.

He’s eventually is pulled back to Instagram by the times he’s on episode 3 of Grace and Frankie. He has a few messages from Emma, as well as a few from the meme group chat he has with the guys. Lucas opens up Emma’s message and the first thing he sees is possibly the most gorgeous man he has ever laid eyes on. He immediately clicks on the post, pleasant to find that it’s a video. Lucas nearly laughs at how stupid it is, some guitar sound playing in the background as the guy zooms in on his eye. But, dear god, is that guy attractive. Lucas closes the post to see what else Emma sent him.

@em.brgs: i think he is the most gorgeous person i have ever seen.

Lucas laughs before responding.

@lucallemant: i second that notion.

@lucallemant: why don’t you slide into those DMs. Been a while since you got dicked down ever since Alex moved away.

Lucas doesn’t expect a response so fast, but before he knows it his phone is vibrating with notifications.

@em.brgs: oh you’re one to talk. You just think you’re soo funny.

@lucallemant: i am, thank you.

@em.brgs: he’s so hot he makes me want to stab a pencil in my eye.

@lucallemant: well if you do that i really don’t think you’ll have a chance with him.

@em.brgs: haha, that’s so funny Lucas thank you for the self esteem boost.

@lucallemant: what i’m here for.

@em.brgs: and anyways, even if i was going to DM him (which i’m not because i’m not that desperate, unlike some people Lucas) it seems like he just got out of a relationship. I don’t go after guys who are looking for a rebound

@lucallemant: right, you just go after guys who are already in a relationship.

@em.brgs: hey! That has happened only twice!

@lucallemant: round of applause for emma everybody.

@em.brgs: ugh, whatever, i’m going to go message Manon about your non existent love life.

@lucallemant: have fun!

Lucas snickers as he exits the messages. He trains his attention back on the TV and takes another scoop of ice cream. About thirty minutes, and a whole lot of chocolate, later a loud buzzing noise jolts Lucas out of whatever summer-induced-TV-show-daze he was under. Usually he is able to just brush off the noises of his neighbors getting the lawns mowed in the middle of the day, but this sounded like it was literally coming from right outside his window. He placed the ice cream on the coffee table before getting up (begrudgingly) from the Lucas shaped divett he had made in the couch. He leaned over the love seat in order to reach the curtains he had closed when settling down to watch TV. Lucas peeled them back just enough to peer outside into their front lawn. He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw a guy mowing their lawn; what the hell was the guy doing? Lucas ran to their front door, getting ready to tell the guy off and ask him to leave. He had his hand on the doorknob when he spotted the note taped to the door. It was written in Mika’s handwriting.

“Lucas,” it read, “don’t forget that I have hired someone to do work on our lawn/garden this summer.” Lucas had forgotten, “he is coming by today around noon and will be coming by every saturday for the next few weeks. The payment is on the back of this letter and he will ask for it when he’s done. Also, make sure to give him something to drink after, just to be polite. AND DON’T BE AN IDIOT.”

Lucas drew his lips in a line after he finished reading the letter. He had totally forgotten about that conversation with Mika. Though, in his defense, you really shouldn’t have important conversations with people who are obviously drunk and just gotten home from a party.

He flops back down with a huff, resting his head against the wall behind the couch. Part of Lucas really wants to go back to the window and watch the guy out in the yard. In those few moments Lucas was watching him, he seemed to be extremely attractive. Well, that much Lucas could tell from his toned arms and lean build, legs that seemed to go on forever, and high cheekbones somewhat hid from view by a worn-out baseball cap. (Don’t judge him, he hasn’t allowed himself to ogle any eye candy ever since his breakup with Oliver). Lucas scoffed at his inner monologue and instead opted to make some lemonade; try and take his mind off his meaningless existence. If Mika was going to make him give the guy something to drink, might as well be something sweet.

Lucas hooked up to the speaker in the kitchen as he walked in. He immediately started blasting his favorite artists: Nirvana, the Stones, Beatles, and, of course, the Clash. His friends always call him cliche for his taste in “old-style” music, but Lucas doesn’t really care. He sways his hips and jumps around the kitchen as he gathers the supplies for lemonade. He’s practically belching out the songs as he mixes the drink together and adds the ice cubes to help chill it. Oliver never liked Lucas’s taste in music, so they would always listen to his playlist made up of rap and hip hop. Not that Lucas has anything against those genres, they just don’t happen to be his favorites.

He’s about to pour the lemonade into two glasses when there is a knock at the door. Lucas glances at the drink and the door a few times before deciding to just pour it into the cups later and get the door first. Lucas obviously doesn’t think before opening the door, because as soon as he does he becomes painfully aware he’s still just in his boxers and t-shirt. Lucas becomes even more embarrassed when he comes face-to-face with the most godly human he has ever seen. Well, actually he has seen the face once before. On Instagram. Just a couple hours earlier. Lucas has to mentally make sure his jaw doesn’t drop open. He didn’t think it was physically possible for someone to be more attractive in real life than on social media, but somehow this guy managed to pull it off. Truly, he had everything. The height which made Lucas feel small (usually Lucas would protest this, but honestly it was kind of a turn on). He had the eyes which pierced into Lucas and made him melt on the spot. He had the perfectly shaped lips, a sharp jawline, even fucking perfect eyes.

“Uh, hi,” the guy says after a couple seconds of silence (and, it might be Lucas’s subconscious, but he swears he sees the guy trail his eyes up and down, soaking in everything Lucas is presenting at the moment), “you must be Mika? We talked over the phone.” He offers his hand and Lucas takes it.

“Oh, no, sorry I’m Lucas. Mika is my roommate. Well, one of them.” Lucas says and leans against the doorway. Lucas tries his best not to choke as he now blatantly sees the guy drag his eyes up Lucas’s form. He feels like he could drown in that gaze.

“Did he happen to leave any, uh, money as payment? Sorry I hate to be so pushy…”

Lucas jumps like he’d been burned and reaches behind the door for the note, grabbing the money. “No don’t apologize. Sorry, I forgot,” Lucas laughs awkwardly as he hands the envelope over. He takes it gratefully, “I didn’t catch your name.” Lucas says after neither of them make a move to walk away.

“I’m Eliott.”

Pretty name for a pretty guy, Lucas thinks. There is a blush creeping onto Eliott’s face which makes Lucas painfully aware he had just said that aloud. Lucas coughs to try and clear up the tension, “um, I made some lemonade. Would you want a glass?”

“I would, but I actually need to get going. I have another lawn I need to be at.”

Lucas nods, “well, I could give it to you in a to-go cup?”

That makes Eliott chuckle, “guess I can’t say no to that.”

Lucas smiles and offers Eliott to come in. He does so and Lucas closes the door behind them. Eliott finds his way to the kitchen with Lucas following closely behind. He lunges for his phone to turn off the music that was still blaring, a blush creeping on his face. He fumbles with it for a few seconds before turning back to Eliott.

“Sorry, uh, I was getting hype in the kitchen making this lemonade I guess.” Lucas jokes.

Eliott laughs, “I know, I could hear you from outside.”

Lucas blushes at that and forces himself to look away and get out one of their cardboard coffee cups. “Well, at least I was giving you something good to listen to.” Lucas comments as he pours the lemonade into their respective cups. As he turns around he briefly catches Eliott staring at a place a little south from his head and shoulders, which makes Lucas cock his eyebrow and hand the drink over.

“Thank you, for the drink.” Eliott says as they walk back to the door, “not so much for the music.”

“What do you have against my music?” Lucas asks offended as he opens the door and Eliott walks out.

Eliott shrugs, “nothing, just a little corny is all.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “guess you’ll just have to play me your superior music taste next them then.”

“Guess so,” he says it with a wink, “bye, Lucas.”

Lucas regretfully wasn’t there the following Saturday when Eliott was supposed to come by. He had picked up an extra shift at the coffee shop after Imane said she had an emergency to take care of. The shift wasn’t too busy, since most people don’t want hot coffee on days when it’s over 100 degrees. He spent the majority of the time sitting up by the register and fooling around with his coworker, Tyler.

Tyler was actually how Oliver and Lucas had met, since they were friends and Oliver came in to get a cup of coffee during Tyler’s shift. Oliver started flirting with Lucas, Lucas left a little note on the coffee cup for Oliver and the rest is history. Lucas was terrified that the breakup would affect his relationship with Tyler as a coworker, but it turns out Tyler was super chill and didn’t really care. He even said that Oliver was a douche at times, and that Lucas deserved someone better.

“Any big summer plans?” Lucas asks.

Tyler sighs and leans against the opposing counter from Lucas, “not really, college starts pretty soon for me so I have to start getting all that stuff ready. What about you?”

“I wish I could say I had something big planned, like a road trip. But sadly this summer is just as boring as the rest.” Lucas groans and rolls his head back.

Tyler laughs, “how’s Yann and the gang?”

“Good, they’ve been pretty busy though. Basile just got together with Daphne-”

“What?! That loser finally got together with her? Damn, Basile.”

Lucas laughs, “I know, it was a long time coming to be honest. He’d been pining after her since second year.”

“Well,” Tyler pauses, “I guess if they make each other happy…”

Lucas nods, “I can’t say I’m not jealous. Last summer I was the part of the annoyingly touchy couple.”

Tyler draws his lips in a line, “maybe you can still find that this summer. Anybody catch your eye?”

Lucas shrugs, “I wish. I miss being in a relationship sometimes. What about you though? How’s Clare?”

“She’s good, little difficult with her studying in the US though. I miss-”

Tyler is cut off by the ringing of a doorbell which signals the entry of a customer. Lucas immediately goes into full customer mode saying on instinct “welcome to Coral Cafe, how may I help you?” as Tyler rushes over to the area where they actually assemble the drinks. Lucas doesn’t look up right away as he fiddles with something on the cash register screen, getting ready to place in the order. When he does finally look up he feels his stomach clench and heart pick up all at once.

“Oh, hey! Lucas, right?” Eliott says as he continues his track to the register. Lucas feels like his legs are giving out, “I didn’t know you work here.”

Lucas couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting over to the girl standing beside Eliott, his arm around her shoulders. She’s beautiful, is the first thing Lucas notices. She has seemingly silky hair, large chocolate colored eyes, amazing bone structure, and her smile lit up the room. He just got out of a long-term relationship, he hears Emma’s voice in his head. Lucas has to visibly shake his head, it’s not like Eliott was interested in him. He’s mowing their lawn for god sakes. They had one conversation that’s it.

“Lucas, you good?” He hears Tyler call from his station just about a few feet away.

Lucas looks over at him, smiling and nodding before turning back to his customers, “hey, Eliott. Uh, what can I get you?”

“I’ll take a caramel frappuccino,” Eliott says and Lucas has to look down to hide his smile. Of course, the sweetest thing on their menu. “And uh, Lucille, what do you want?”

Lucas looks up, waiting for the request. She hums for a second as she looks over the menu; taking about an eternity to decide. Lucas sighs quietly and his eyes automatically trail over to Eliott. He feels his breath catch at the gaze Eliott has locked him in, basically drilling him to the spot. Lucas’s heart picks up, and he doesn’t dare look away. He could stand there for hours. It doesn’t help that the backdrop lighting from the windows illuminates Eliott like some ethereal being. And Eliott knows the effect that he’s having on Lucas, he’s obviously not an idiot. What Lucas wouldn’t give to knock that smirk off his face...

“I’ll take a,” Lucille’s voice drags him back to reality, “brownie. I’m not a big coffee drinker.”

Lucas nods and puts the order into the register. He states their total and Eliott fishes out his credit card. As he’s passing it over, their fingers momentarily brush and that meer touch has Lucas spiraling. He isn’t even sure he can swipe their credit card his head is spinning so much. He does it successfully, however, and passes the card back before walking over to grab them a brownie from their pastry selection. As he does so he can feel Tyler’s gaze on him.

Tyler takes a few steps closer to Lucas and bumps their shoulders, whispering a quick “you okay?”

God, am I that obvious? Lucas wonders to himself before giving a nod and walking back over. He passes the brownie to Lucille and gives Eliott a quick wave as they walk away. That was the longest two minutes of his entire life.

When the two finally leave the coffee shop, neither of them sending another glance Lucas’s way, he feels like he can finally breathe again.

He lets out an audible sigh, guess Eliott got back together with his girl is a brief thought that crosses Lucas’s mind. Then again, it wasn’t really his place to worry about it.

“Lucas, dude, you okay?” Tyler asks and walks back over.

Lucas takes a breath in before answering, “yeah, why?”

He shrugs, “nothing, you just totally stiffened up when that guy entered. Something happen between you two? A hookup?”

Lucas whips his head around, “a hookup?! Why would you think that?”

Tyler frowns, “that dude was totally fucking you with his eyes dude. Like, hardcore. And I’m not usually good at spotting that stuff but like holy shit. His gaze even had me affected.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “whatever. My shift is about to end, so I won’t have to deal with your bullshit for that much longer,” he laughs.

Tyler scoffs, “c’mon, you like me.” Tyler sing-songs as he wraps his arms around Lucas from behind.

Lucas wriggles out of the grip with a laugh, “right, in your dreams.”

When Lucas gets home from his shift at the coffee shop he spends an hour or so chilling with Mika and a very quiet Lisa in the living room. They watch whatever comes on TV because they can’t find the remote, which Lucas finds hilarious. Mostly, though, Mika is walking Lucas through his dating app and trying to convince Lucas to download it to get a new boyfriend or “even a friends with benefits” as Mika put it. Lucas found it easier to tune him out the longer the conversation dragged on for.

It’s not like Lucas would mind a fling. He’s never been “flung” his whole eighteen years of life, only ever being in one long-term relationship. He wonders what it would be like in a fling. From what he’s gathered it’s mostly talking and sex and talking and sex, which Lucas would not mind. Something like that for the summer before his college years would be a-okay with him.

“Lucas,” Mika whistles and waves his hand in front of his face to grab his attention.

Lucas blinks and shifts his gaze over, “sorry, I got lost in thought. As you were saying?”

Mika raises an eyebrow, “what got you so wrapped up there, kitten?”

Lucas shrugs, “nothing really, I was just thinking about what it would be like in a ‘fling.’ What is it like?” Lucas asks, knowing that Mika wouldn’t have any problem sharing his oh-so-many stories.

Mika shifts and brings his legs up to his chin, “well, it’s really nice in the beginning. The flame lasts longer than just a one night stand, but not as long as a honeymoon phase of a long-term relationship if you can understand?” Lucas nods, “it’s nice because you both don’t get sick of each other, since you both sort of know it’s going to end soon. The sex is usually awesome, but so is the talking. Everything evens itself out.”

Lucas hums, “that sounds nice.”

Mika smirks, “oh, yeah? Well, the problem is you can’t really get attached, since you have to have a mutual understanding that it’s going to end. That’s been a problem with some of my past flings.”

“Oh, for you?” Lucas wonders.

Mika scoffs, “no, kitten, for the other guy. People just can’t stay away from me.”

Lucas rolls his eyes and stands from the couch, “alright, that’s enough for me, I’m heading in.”

“What?! But it’s only seven!” Mika complains.

Lucas shrugs, “sorry, guess you’ll just have to talk to Lisa about your dating profile. Night, guys.”

Lucas obviously doesn’t go to sleep right away. Nope, he spends a few minutes changing into sweats and then the next hour or so scrolling through and switching between the same six apps over and over. It isn’t until about ten that the group chat of him and the gang starts to get active, and begin discussing if they want to have a small get together at Arthur’s place since his parents are out of town. Lucas isn’t one to say no, especially after not seeing the gang for the past week or so. He quickly changes into his signature “romance” hoodie and faded jeans before sneaking out of the house and grabbing his bike to take to Arthur’s. By the time Lucas arrives the boys are already two beers in and in the middle of a very intense video game that looks like it would give Lucas a seizure if he concentrated on it for too long. Lucas, instead, opted for nursing a beer in the small loveseat adjacent to the couch, Yann next to him.

It isn’t until the pizza gets there that they actually start up a conversation, mostly about how Basile and Daphne are doing. Though, when that conversation goes under they turn to Lucas for amusement.

“Any guys catching your eyes this summer, Lucas?” Arthur wonders aloud.

Lucas groans at the question, “everyone’s been pestering me about relationships. What’s with that this summer?”

“Well, it is the summer before we all head of to college.” Yann comments.

“Yeah! We just want our Lucas to get some good dick so he isn’t all grumpy the coming school year!” Basile adds.

Arthur butts in, shaking his head disapprovingly at Basile, “bro, seriously, sense the conversation. It’s like you’re not even talking about the same thing.” Basile grumbles and downs his beer in retaliation.

Lucas laughs at his friends before sighing into his beer, “I mean I want to be in a relationship, but maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I’m just looking for it too hard.”

“I can help set you up with someone, I have a few acquaintances who would be more than happy to satisfy you, Lucas.” Arthur offers with a playful wink.

“No, no, I think what our boy needs is an old fashioned night in the town. How about we just chill here, have a few more beers, than head to that bar we all like,” Yann offers.

Lucas nods and reluctantly gets up from his spot on the couch, “I think we’re all out of beers. I’ll just run out real fast and get us some.” They all agree and pass Lucas a couple dollars to help split the coast.

Lucas takes his time walking to the store, even opting for the one that’s an extra block away. He loves his friends, he really does. But it’s not like he needs or wants their help in finding him a boyfriend. That’s always been a topic really private to him, at least in the beginning. Eventually everyone starts questioning “why do you have hickeys on your neck?” or “where were you over the weekend?” Which, granted, they should have those questions but usually Lucas likes to keep the beginning as much of a secret as possible, just in case anything goes under.

Lucas walks into the store, and nearly getting blinded by the overly bright fluorescent lights. He immediately beelines for the back and grabs the cheapest case of beer available. He digs out his phone as he heads back to the register located at the front of the store. Lucas snickers when he sees he has a new message from Emma. He opens it up to find another shared post of the guy from before. Or the guy who now has a name: Eliott. Lucas feels his heart pick up as he opens the post. The lighting in this photo is even better than the last one. His bone structure is to die for, not to mention those eyes-

Lucas is sent flying backwards, his phone falling out of his hand and onto the ground when he accidentally collides with someone as he turns the corner. He frantically apologizes, trying to locate his phone as quickly as possible. As he sees the guy turn around. Lucas’ eyes shoot up and he feels his mouth run dry. This was not happening to him. It couldn’t be.

“Oh, Lucas! Long time no see,” Eliott chuckles.

Lucas gives an awkward laugh, “yeah sorry, uh, I guess I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Eliott smirks and bends down to pick up his phone, “distracted I see.” Eliott glances at what is on the screen and Lucas feels like he is ready to implode, he was looking at Eliott! “Well, at least you were looking at something worthwhile, huh?” He passes the phone back over.

“You know, I would try to explain it, but I think I would just be digging my own grave,” Lucas blushes.

Eliott laughs, and the sound echoes in Lucas’ ears, “I always appreciate an admirer. Especially one as cute as you.” Lucas feels himself choke on nothing, if he tried to respond he isn’t sure anything would even come out. Eliott breaks the silence as he nods at what Lucas is carrying, “party tonight?”

“Oh, um, no not really. Just me and the guys are chilling at Arthur’s place.” Lucas pauses and glances at what Eliott is holding in the basket, “wow, big homecooked feast planned there?”

Eliott laughs, “no, no. I can’t cook to save my own life if I’m being honest. It’s actually Lucille who offered to cook dinner, but she’s vegan so...lots of greens and other things in this basket.”

Lucas feels his heart constrict at the mention of Lucille’s name. But just as the feeling came on Lucas had to remind himself that for the love of God he doesn’t have any reason to be jealous, it’s not like Eliott would even be interested in Lucas. “That’s nice of her,” Lucas manages to say.

Eliott nods, “we haven’t seen each other in a while. I just moved back into town so,”

“Oh, where’d you move from?” Lucas wonders.

“I went to Paris for a modelling gig, then came back here.”

A model, of course! “Oh, that’s awesome. Is modelling what you want to do?”

Eliott shrugs, “I guess it’s an option. What I really want to get into is art.”

Lucas raises his eyebrows in surprise, Eliott hadn’t really struck him as an artistic type, “that’s awesome, dude!”

Eliott smiles, “thanks. Y’know I can do art, but I can’t seem to find the stupid sugar in this place,” Eliott says exasperated.

Lucas laughs, “I can help you if you want?”

“Would you mind?”

Lucas shakes his head, “of course not! Is it just sugar?”

Eliott bites at his bottom lip, and Lucas can’t help but watch. His eyes finally manage their way back up to Eliott’s eyes and...is that...a blush on his cheeks? “Actually, it’s sugar, brown sugar, brussel sprouts and spinach.”

Lucas smirks, “wow, guess you really do suck at grocery shopping.”

“I told you,”

Lucas laughs and thinks for a couple moments, “so sugar and brown sugar should be in the isle…” he lets his voice trail off as his eyes scan the shelves, falling on what he was looking for. He jumps into action, grabbing both off the shelves before turning back to Eliott, “so here’s these two. You really didn’t see these?” Lucas laughs as Eliott places them in his cart.

Eliott scoffs, “I guess I was too distracted by a certain someone crashing into me.”

“Alright, point taken.” Lucas laughs, “I think that brussel sprouts would be in the frozen foods section, which is just two isles over. And...spinach should probably be there too.”

“Thanks, Lucas, don’t know what I would have done without you,” Eliott says.

He shrugs, “I guess you probably would have just been stuck here wandering around for the next hour or so.”

That made Eliott laugh, “you’re probably right.” Lucas is just about ready to say his goodbyes when Eliott stops him, holding his arm as he tries to walk past, “I’m hosting a somewhat small party at my place next sunday, would you want to come? You could bring your friends if you wanted to.”

Something inside Lucas almost wanted to tease Eliott, have himself play hard to get and just see what the other’s reaction would be. Instead Lucas smiles and says “of course, I can get the information from you next saturday. Sound good?”

Eliott nods, “sounds perfect. Bye, Lucas.”

Next Saturday it’s raining cats and dogs outside. Lucas is immediately disappointed, knowing that Eliott probably won’t show up while it’s raining like this. Though, not that Lucas would object to that. He wouldn’t mind to have some eye candy today, he sorta needs a pick-me-up.

Mika spent the night at a “friends” house and Manon had left early to have, what Lucas could only guess was, a heated discussion with Charles. Lisa had...disappeared. To be honest, Lucas never really knows where she is. When he got up he had no idea what time it was. The sun was shrouded by the dark clouds, casting even darker shadows over the bleak town.

It’s almost twelve by the time Lucas makes his way into the kitchen. His eyes are still half closed as he fumbles through their cupboards looking for the bread. Lucas gives up on his search after what feels like an eternity of looking. He opts for the couch instead, the ol’ reliable. As he sits down he doesn’t jump to turn on the TV, or to turn on his phone, instead he sits there listening to the rain. It sounds like someone pounding ruthlessly on the window with how hard the rain was hitting it. He lets his head roll back and his eyes drift close. He thinks about just falling asleep on the couch, it wouldn’t be the first time.

He can feel his subconscious taking over, or actually he can pinpoint the exact moment his subconscious takes over, because of the image of Oliver that appears on his eyelids. Lucas can immediately recognize the memory. It’s of their first real date, they had gone to the park after Lucas got off work. Oliver had packed them a picnic, and Lucas thought it was the most romantic thing ever. They had laughed practically all day, not once was there an awkward silence or even a moment that passed where Lucas felt like he didn’t belong. It all just felt so right. That was the day that Lucas felt like he was falling in love for the first time.

His eyes fluttered open, tears streaming his cheeks. He wiped them away violently, and rubbed his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He seriously had to get over that prick. He knew it, his friends knew it, even Tyler knew it. Yet Lucas found it so hard to let go. There is a difference between being in love and falling in love, it seems. Lucas is obviously in love with his mom and his friends, maybe even Mika (though that may be stretching it a little). That type of love is guaranteed. You are guaranteed to love your friends in a way that is indescribable. But with Oliver, it was like falling in love was brand new. It made Lucas’s heart beat faster and his pupils dilate. It made his palms sweat and hairs stand on end. And then it was all gone.

A loud knock at the door startled Lucas out of his daze. It audibly made him gasp and jump off of the couch. He took another second to compose himself, and wiped under his eyes a final time before walking to the door. He unlocks the deadbolt and swings the door open just as a large gust of wind and rain hits him in the face. He blinks his eyes back open against the rain, sort of waiting for the person at the door to say something.

“Lucas, you okay?”

He would recognize that voice anywhere, “Eliott,” Lucas breathes out, like it’s the first time saying his name.

When Lucas doesn’t say anything else Eliott laughs, “that is me. Uh, may I come in? I’m sort of getting soaked.”

Lucas nods frantically and opens the door wide enough for Eliott to step through. As he’s slipping off his shoes and hanging his jacket by the door, Lucas asks, “what are you doing here? You can’t really work on the yard in this weather.”

“I know, but, I told you that I would give you the information for my party tomorrow. I didn’t really want to disappoint.” Eliott smiles over his shoulder.

Lucas bites at his bottom lip, trying to remind himself he shouldn’t get too excited, that Eliott isn’t here to just hang out. “Oh, thanks,” Lucas mumbles and closes the door.

“Sorry, is it a bad time? I can go…”

“No! No! You’re fine, why do you ask?”

Eliott shrugs, “you’re eyes are a little red. Either you’ve been smoking something or you’ve been crying.”

Lucas cringes and, on instinct, goes to wipe his eyes. He isn’t really sure what he’s trying to do, maybe wipe the redness away, “oh, yeah. I wasn’t smoking anything,” Lucas laughs, though that just made him sound pathetic.

Eliott pauses and they are suddenly surrounded by a very tense silence in the middle of a very small entrance. “I won’t ask for any details, since we aren’t that close, but if you want to talk…”

Lucas smiles, “thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Lucas nods his head in the direction of the living room and they start heading that way.

“It’s a nice place,” Eliott comments as they take their places on the couch.

Lucas laughs, “you’ve been in here before!”

“I know, but I didn’t really get to appreciate the structure and composition of the rooms-”

“Okay, okay, we get it you’re an artist.”

Eliott laughs, but slowly it dies away and they are left once again in a rough silence. “So, Sunday,” Eliott begins, finally breaking their pause, “it’s going to be super chill. It’s just going to be like thirty people tops, it starts around 7-8pm, though who knows when people will actually show up. And my house is just a couple streets away from here.”

Lucas smirks, “you came all the way over here to tell me that?”

Eliott shrugs, “no, I came all the way over here, in the rain, mind you, to hang out with the cute and devilishly handsome guy who lives in a house I work for.”

“Oh, you must be looking for Mika then,” Lucas jokes, “sorry he’s not in today-”

“Lucas!” Eliott exclaims in laughter, “I obviously meant you.”

Lucas bites his lip and looks away from the searing gaze Eliott has on him. Lucas doesn’t know how much more of this he can take before he combusts. “How do you do that?” Lucas asks. “Do what?”

“Flirt like that when you obviously still have a girlfriend?” Lucas asks. He nearly regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth because of the shocked look which appears on Eliott’s face.

“Lucas, I don’t-” Eliott begins, but then his words fade off into a very quiet “oooooh.” Lucas raises an eyebrow at him as he enters into a fit of laughter.

“What? What’d I say?” Lucas asks.

“Lucas, Lucille is not my girlfriend. She’s my adopted sister.” Eliott laughs again.

Lucas feels the color drain from his face as he mumbles a nearly quiet “oh my god,” followed by his cheeks erupting into flames. “I’m so stupid,” Lucas groans and goes to cover his face with his hands.

Lucas feels his face heat up even more and he rocks back and forth in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I just did that,” Lucas says as Eliott’s hands go to wrap around his wrists and pull his hands away from his face.

“You were jealous! That’s adorable.” Eliott laughs.

Lucas groans again, but this time can’t hide his face in his hands since Eliott still has grip on them, “I was not jealous! I’ve talked to you like three times before today! How could I be jealous?” Lucas groans and pushes himself off the couch “what do you say we forget that all just happened and have a beer?”

“At 11 o’clock? Of course!”

Within just an hour they had both downed three beers, which actually isn’t too bad. But Lucas had ulterior motives. Because everytime he closed his eyes, Oliver appeared as a very real, very vivid image. He hoped that the alcohol would completely erase him from his mind. Luckily, Lucas had Eliott to help distract him as he told Lucas a story about one of his friends puking on a girl in a very animated way. Lucas appreciated the distraction, though he almost felt guilty in using Eliott to take his mind off Oliver.

The more Lucas drank, the more easy-going he became. He was able to laugh and joke around with Eliott. He told him a couple things he’d never told anyone, not even Yann.

“I’m still trying to get over my ex, who broke up with me and was fucking someone on the side the whole time,” Lucas says.

“I’m bipolar.”

“I broke up my best friend and his girlfriend because I thought I had a crush on him,” Lucas takes of sip of his current beer.

“I cheated on my ex-girlfriend more times than I can count.”

Lucas scoffs, “okay, at least you’re a worse human than I am.” He snickers when Eliott chucks a pillow at him. “I used a girl as a beard for a while,” Lucas mumbles.

“What do you mean?” Eliott asks and looks at Lucas through his half closed eyes.

“You know, when a gay guy uses a girl to pretend that he’s still straight? Wow, you didn’t know what that was/?”

Eliott shakes his head, “oh, I knew what it meant. I just wanted to be certain you were gay before I did this.” Eliott says and pulls out a joint from his pocket. Lucas tries not to think how long that’s been in there. He lights it using a lighter that had been left out of their coffee table.

Lucas watches as Eliott leans forward, closing the distance between them. Lucas doesn’t go to turn away, too caught up in everything Eliott. Eliott’s eyes holding him in place. Eliott’s hand snaking around his waist. Eliott’s other hand placing the lit joint between his soft lips. Eliott as he blows out, releasing a vast amount of smoke between them. Lucas opens his mouth and breathes in, holding the smoke as Eliott pulls the joint from his lips, and only releasing when he knows for sure Eliott is watching.

Lucas takes the initiative, pulling Eliott’s head down to meet his. Their kiss is chaotic. It’s messy. Full of lips and tongue. Lucas barely registers Eliott grounding the lit joint into the ashtray until both of Eliott’s hands are free and they come up to Lucas’s waist, pulling them closer. There is absolutely nothing soft in their movements as Eliott lays Lucas on his back. Eliott nips at the soft skin of Lucas’s neck, trailing hot kisses back up to Lucas’s jaw. Lucas doesn’t think through his movements as he pulls Eliott’s shirt off, followed by his own. Their mouths crash together, as if the mere two seconds they were separated was a decade. A moan is pulled from Lucas’s lips as Eliott grinds down, providing much needed friction. Lucas can feel Eliott’s boner pressed against his thigh, and Lucas is sure Eliott feels his.

Lucas finally decides that just kissing isn’t enough anymore and pushes them upwards with a force that sends Eliott on his back and Lucas straddling his lap. “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Eliott mumbles and brings his hands up to Lucas’s hips, gripping them with enough pressure to leave possible bruising there the next day.

Lucas slowly starts moving down, pressing kisses over the expanse of Eliott’s toned chest until he gets to his denim jeans. Lucas quickly unbuttons, unzips, and pulls them away to reveal Eliott’s impressive erection. He spends no time in taking Eliott into his mouth, pushing him all the way to the back of his throat. Lucas gags a couple times (he wasn’t lucky enough to be born without a gag reflex) but he forces himself down. The moans coming from Eliott is enough of a reward. He pulls himself off, stroking up and down a couple times before kissing up his length.

“Fuck, Lucas, where did you learn to do that?” Eliott asks breathless.

Lucas smirks, “not my first time, baby.”

Eliott’s eyes roll back as Lucas goes down again, this time bobbing his head and twirling his tongue around the tip of Eliott’s cock. “Shit, you need to stop,” Eliott moans and moves a hand through Lucas’s hair to pull him off.

Lucas pants for a few seconds, trying to decode what Eliott had just said to him, his mind completely elsewhere. “Right, yeah,” Lucas begins, voice already hoarse.

Before Lucas can say anything else Eliott is pushing them back to their original position, Lucas underneath him. Lucas normally likes the more dominating position of riding, but he has to admit that Eliott’s broad shoulders and just their vast size difference makes Lucas feel more secure. Eliott works on Lucas’s jeans for only a couple minutes before they are tossed to the side and they are finally connected skin to skin. Lucas moans at the feeling, and he is so, so glad that his roommates aren’t home.

Eliott’s lips are roaming Lucas’s chest and he mumbles, “I’ve been dying to do this every since I first saw you that day in your loose-fitting shirt when you opened the door for me,” Lucas bites his lip when Eliott leaves a good sized hickey on his neck, just above where any shirt could cover it, “I just knew I had to see that pretty mouth wrapped around my cock.”

Lucas moans, he tries and fails to grind upwards, whining when it doesn’t work. Eliott chuckles, “you want me that bad?” Lucas nods and wraps his arms around Eliott’s neck. “Well, you’re going to have to tell me, babe, or else I won’t know what to do.”

“You know what I want, asshole,” Lucas rushes out as Eliott roams his hands down his chest, lifting up when they get close to Lucas’s crotch.

“I don’t think I do.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Lucas hisses when Eliott’s hands move to roam his backside, “I want you to fuck me, Eliott.”

Lucas can feel Eliott’s smile against his chest. Lucas closes his eyes when he hears Eliott spit into his hand, making impromptu lube, “I don’t have anything, don’t worry,” Eliott mumbles before sliding in a finger. Lucas’s toes curl and he grinds his jaw at the feeling. He hasn’t had sex in a while, so it’s gotten really tight. A few minutes later and Eliott has three fingers in, creating a steady pumping motion that has Lucas moaning for more. Every so often Eliott’s fingers will curl up, hitting the place that sends waves of pleasure and shivers through Lucas.

“Are you okay?” Eliott asks, and Lucas nods. He’s glad that Eliott keeps checking in. He never knew sex could be so pleasurable. With Oliver it was only every about satisfying his needs, rather than Lucas’s.

Eliott removed his fingers allowing Lucas some breathing time before Eliott starting aligning himself. “Ready?” Eliott asks. Lucas nods frantically and wraps his arms a little tighter around Eliott’s neck. Slowly he starts to push in, and Lucas sees stars. It’s centimeter by centimeter, but it’s seems to go on forever. When Eliott is finally flush against Lucas, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding.

A few tears fall from Lucas’s eyes, but he has always been the guy to cry during sex. Something in his nature apparently. Slowly, Eliott starts moving, a much slower rhythm than his fingers carried. However, he still managed to hit Lucas’s prostate repeatedly. Everytime he pushed in Lucas would moan with pleasure. Pretty soon Eliott’s rhythm started to become erratic and Lucas knows they were both close. Stars were shooting across his vision as the pressure built up in his abdomen. He didn’t even need to touch his cock before he was screaming out and coming onto his chest. Eliott following only a couple seconds after.

Eliott collapsed on top of Lucas, panting heavily and sweat making hairs stick to his forehead. Lucas doesn’t think twice about moving some hair out of the way and placing kisses onto the sweaty skin. Finally, once their breathing patterns return to normal, Eliott asks, “did you dry come?”

Lucas laughs and brushes his fingers through Eliott’s hair. “I guess I did.”

Eliott positions his head on Lucas’s chest so they can make eye contact with each other, “you are unbelievable, Lucas.”

Lucas hums, “I guess I am. But props to you for hitting my prostate every time.”

Eliott laughs, “I guess that’s my specialty.”

“I’m going to go grab us some towels,” Lucas says and slowly shifts out from under Eliott until he’s back on his feet. He shimies into his underwear before marching through the house to find their cupboard of towels.

When he walks into the kitchen he tosses one to Eliott and begins wiping himself down. He sits beside Eliott on the couch, a silence falling over them. It’s charged with a question neither of them are ready to ask.

It’s a couple more minutes before Eliott speaks up, “so, what is this?” Lucas refuses to meet his eyes, looking everywhere but at Eliott. “Is it casual?”

Lucas’s eyes finally flick up to find Eliott’s, “casual, yeah. Sounds good.”

Lucas feels like he’s a hollow shell as he watches Eliott get dressed back into his jeans and t-shirt. He slips his own shirt on to walk Eliott out. Lucas opens the door for them and Eliott walks through. The problem is you can’t really get attached, since you have to have a mutual understanding that it’s going to end. That’s been a problem with some of my past flings, Lucas hear’s Mika’s voice in his head. They pause in the threshold as Eliott hands over his phone, and Lucas fills in his contact info before handing it back over. No words exchanged.

He closes the door without waiting for Eliott to get all the way to his car. Once he hears the truck drive away, he falls to his knees, breaking down into tears.

Lucas purposefully evades the house next Saturday, trying his best to avoid Eliott because he knows as soon as he lays eyes on him his heart will melt. So, when Lucas gets a text from Eliott Monday night asking if he wants to go for a ride, he can’t refuse.

Mika gives Lucas a wary look when he walks past them in the living room. Lucas didn’t dress “to the nines” for a booty call from Eliott, which is exactly what it was. Though, Lucas isn’t necessarily complaining, the sex is really good. And as Mika said, so is the talking, though they do less of that. By the time Lucas is walking out the front door, Eliott is pulling up in his truck. He rolls down his window as Lucas walks up, and pokes his head down to give Lucas a beaming grin. Don’t smile like that if you don’t mean it, Lucas wants to say as he climbs into the passenger seat.

“Hey, baby,” Eliott says and gives Lucas a little peck on the cheek.

Lucas can’t help but smile, and he hates himself for it. “Hey,” he replies and buckles himself in, “where are we going?”

Eliott hums as he puts the car into drive, “you’ll see.”

The drive there is silent. Lucas stares out the window and watches as the suburbs become farmland. Even when they are barely any houses, they keep driving. They could have gone on forever, and Lucas would not have minded. Finally Eliott pulls over as the sun is setting over the horizon. They are in an empty cornfield that seems to stretch on for miles. It’s almost breathtaking.

“Where are we?” Lucas asks as he hops out of the car and walks around to the front, Eliott mirroring his movements.

“Well, my family used to live out here. We only recently moved to the city. But, anytime I got overwhelmed or scared I would come here.” Eliott shrugs and his eyes survey the horizon. “I know it looks like every other corn field out there, and to be honest it is, but there is something more peaceful here. More serene.”

Lucas smiles up at Eliott and takes his time in studying his expression. It only lasts a few seconds before Eliott glances down, locking eyes with Lucas. A hand snakes around Lucas’s neck and he’s being pulled into a kiss. It’s softer this time, less rushed. The feel of each other’s lips is familiar, and Lucas melts into the feeling.

He didn’t really get a chance to before, because it was so hectic, but Lucas studied the way Eliott kisses. He kisses like Lucas is air and he’s been drowning for years. He kisses like he’s never tasted or felt anything more beautiful.

And Lucas’s heart breaks knowing that Eliott has kissed others in the same way.

Lucas pulls away from the kiss, cutting it short. Eliott seems confused and pants for a couple seconds before running a hand through Lucas’s hair. “You okay?” He asks.

Lucas forces a smile, “yeah, yeah. Let’s get in the car.” He says and grabs Eliott’s hands, pulling him to the back seat.

Lucas pushed Eliott in first, making him land on his back. Lucas crawls in afterwards, closes the door behind him and he straddles Eliott’s lap. He quickly strips himself of his shirt, throwing it out of the way.

“Lucas…” Eliott whispers and starts to sit upright.

Lucas shakes his head and presses a hand to Eliott’s chest, pushing him back down. Eliott doesn’t protest, but keeps his hands positioned on Lucas’s waist.

Riding Eliott felt like an awakening. Being able to watch him slowly unravel and fall apart underneath had Lucas moaning. As they reached their end Eliott grabbed a tight hold onto Lucas’s waist, halting Lucas’s rhythm. He started thrusting hard upwards and Lucas completely unraveled. He came with a moan loud enough it could have been mistaken for a scream.

Afterwards they wrap themselves in a blanket Eliott had in the back seat. Lucas laid his head down on Eliott’s chest. To be honest, Lucas was practically laying on top of Eliott because of the thin seats. But neither were complaining. It was actually nice being able to rest his head on Eliott’s chest and trace different shapes over and across the large expanse of skin. Eliott had his arms wrapped around Lucas protectively, yet gentle as if he pressed any harder Lucas would shatter.

“I think you left some bruises on my hips,” Lucas jones after a little while of silence.

Eliott laughs, “good, everyone will know you’re already fucking someone.”

“That hickey you gave me has barely faded away and it’s been over a week.”

“You just bruise like a peach, it’s not my fault,” Eliott laughs again as Lucas punches his chest playfully.

After a while Lucas goes to shift his position, to take some of the pressure off of his left arm. But a rush of soreness shoots up Lucas’s back making utter a soft “ow!”

“You okay?” Eliott asks.

Lucas nods, “yeah, just sore.”

Eliott wiggles his eyebrows at Lucas as he lays back down, “I guess I did my job well then.”

“Shut up, idiot.”

Eliott grins and loops an arm up around Lucas’s head, pressing him impossibly closer. Eventually they both drift off to sleep. Eliott’s heart acting as a soft metronome.

When Lucas next woke his head was spinning. He tried to get a sense of his bearings, but it took him a good few minutes to figure out he was in a car. He groaned as he stretched out his legs and arms, only then realizing that he was being spooned by another person on the narrow car seats. Memories of the night before comes back to him all at once as he shifts his hips and groans out in pain. Damn, Eliott really did him rough.

“Lucas?” a husky voice asks from behind him.

“Morning,” he replies, and smirks as he rubs backwards into Eliott eliciting a low groan from the older boy.

“Mm, don’t do that, baby. I might just jump you,” Eliott mumbles into the soft skin of Lucas’s neck.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily refuse,” Lucas jokes and Eliott laughs.

“Okay, I definitely would but I think we should probably leave pretty soon.”

“Wow, you don’t have any balls anymore do you?” Lucas laugh and he can practically feel Eliott’s eye roll. “There is definitely an Eliott in some parallel universe who decides to ravish Lucas in this car, right here right now.”

“‘Some parallel universe?’” Eliott asks.

“It’s my theory,” Lucas explains, “that every time we have to make a decision, there is a different version of me in another universe who made the other choice. So in every life, I’ve tried everything.”

“I don’t know if I believe that.”

Lucas hums, “well, you’re wrong. Because there are multiple Eliott’s and Lucas’s laying together right now like we are. There are some who are still pining after each other. There’s one version where Eliott didn’t come in for a drink of lemonade the first day they saw each other. There’s another Eliott and Lucas who met at school.” Lucas pauses, and shuffles backwards to press his back against Eliott’s chest, “and there is an Eliott and Lucas who aren’t just having casual sex. Instead, they are telling one another that they love each other for the first time.”

It’s been nearly a month since Lucas and Eliott started their “friends with benefits” relationship, and Lucas knows he’s in way over his head. Ever since that car ride with Eliott, slowly but surely, he’s feeling have grown from attraction to love. He tries to ignore it, he really does. Because they have a ton of fun together. And at times it is easier to forget, like when they are just talking normally or when Eliott is balls deep inside of him and Lucas is screaming to come. Those times are easier.

But then there is time in between. When Eliott presses gentle kisses to Lucas’s forehead, lulling him to sleep as he massages his scalp. Or when they stay awake afterwards and watch a cheesy Disney movie. Or when Lucas is having post-sex cravings, but his joints are too sore to move so Eliott offers to go get him whatever he wants.

It hurts because even if Lucas were to move on from Eliott, he knows he would never be able to find someone who satisfies him as much as Eliott does. And not just physically. Yes, their bodies match so well together, but also mentally. They can laugh and just enjoy each other’s company without it always having to be about the sex. So, Lucas drew himself a line, at least until his crush passes. That’s all it is, a crush. At least that’s what Lucas tries to convince himself.

He won’t allow any kisses on the lips from this point onward, he’s decided. It sounds stupid, since people would argue that getting kissed on the lips is less intimate than having sex until the early hours of the morning like Lucas and Eliott have been doing. But sex with Eliott is almost animalistic. Sure, there are days when he is calm and builds Lucas up to his climax, but really it’s all about satisfaction. Kissing on the lips is much more intimate than just seeking release. Kissing each other slowly is almost like telling the person “I like you, I like you a lot.” And Lucas doesn’t think he could hold himself back from murmuring a soft “I love you” against Eliott’s lips if they ever kissed again.

“Lucas is probably going to be with his newest fuck buddy this weekend,” Arthur says as he repeadtedly smashes a button on the controller pointed at the TV.

He had decided to hang with the Gang for the first time in about two weeks. Lucas actually turned Eliott down on an offer to make time for his friends, which Lucas saw as growth. Slowly trying to separate himself from everything Eliott.

Yet, here he was. Making himself into the conversation of his tight friend group.

“WHA- I don’t have a fuck buddy!” Lucas protests and sits up in his chair.

Yann rolls his eyes, “dude, even if you say that you have about ten hickeys on your neck. Obviously you’re fucking somebody.”

“Or you’re the one getting fucked…?” Basile adds, more as a question.

Arthur sighs in exasperation, “seriously, Basile. Sense the conversation.” Arthur shakes his head as he turns back to Lucas, “so who is he?”

Lucas sighs in defeat, “you guys don’t know him.”

“Try us,” Yann says.

“Fine, his name is Eliott. And before any of you say anything about it, we both agreed that it was something casual. Just like a, a summer fling if you will.”

Yann pauses and narrows his eyes at Lucas, “you like him don’t you?”

“What, Yann! You can’t just ask him-”

“Ugh, yeah! Okay I do!” Lucas juts in, cutting Arthur off. “He’s everything I’ve ever looked for in a guy. He’s nice to talk to, he’s funny, we have a crap ton in common, he’s hot, and, of course, to top it all off he’s actually really, really fucking good in bed. It’s just unfair!” Lucas groans, “at the beginning I was just using him to get over Oliver, but now it’s like I’m falling in love with him and I just can’t stop!”

“Have you considered the possibility that Eliott is falling for you too?” Basile asks.

Lucas shakes his head, “no, I mean he was the one who proposed we do it casual.”

“Well, wait,” Yann says and shifts forward on the couch, “did he propose it or did he just ask you if you wanted it casual.”

Lucas pauses, “I can’t...remember.”

Yann raises an eyebrow at him, smile growing wider, “okay, so. So far we have that he may or may not have proposed a casual relationship, but also that he obviously spends a lot of time around you, and he obviously likes to leave hickeys on you where he knows other people will be able to see them.” Yann pauses. “Maybe he doesn’t want the relationship to remain casual anymore?”

Lucas isn’t entirely sure how to respond, so he doesn’t.

“Right,” Yann breathes in, “so, why don’t you contact him?”

Lucas rolls his eyes at his friend, “I’m not going to confess my love to him over text, Yann.”

“Right, you shouldn’t.” Arthur jumps in, “why don’t you ask Eliott where he is? Then maybe you can meet him and have a talk with him.”

“Yeah! Do that, do that!” Basile says all too ecstatically.

Eventually all of them are chanting for Lucas to text Eliott. Lucas laughs as he pulls out his phone and types in Eliott’s contact. The idiot had named himself in Lucas’s phone: love of my life, my one and only with a few heart emojis to boot.

To: Hey, where are you right now?

From: Awe, does my baby miss me that much?

From: May I remind you that you were the one who said no sex tonight? ;) Cockblocked yourself, mister.

To: Jesus, you are too much to handle.

From: Mm, well obviously, I had you biting your arm so hard last time to hold back your shouts.

To: That isn’t what I meant, ugh! Nevermind, forget it

From: No, no, I’m sorry. What’s up?

To: Nothing, I just wanted to know what you were up to.

From: Well, since you turned me down :( I went to a party at a Idriss’ house.

To: Ah, okay.

From: ??

From: That’s it?

To: Yeah

From: You are very weird, Monsieur Lallemant.

To: Thanks

“He’s at a party hosted by Idriss.” Lucas reports.

Yann claps his hands in excitement, “well let’s go then! I know his apartment!”

When they walk into the party, they look like a group of deer in headlights. Lucas has never been a big drinker, so parties are not really his thing. And this party was...chaotic. Every person looked like they were drunk out of their minds and just about ready to pass out. Or there were the people in one room passing around the thickest joint Lucas has ever seen.

He grabs himself a beer, to at least look like he’s doing something, before walking around and looking for Eliott. He checks all the downstairs rooms, even in the basement. Still no sign of Eliott. Maybe he went home?

The deep bass of the songs playing starts getting to Lucas’s head, and he knows if he doesn’t leave soon he has the high possibility of passing out. He’s grabbing his jacket and slipping it on when he takes a glance up the stairs. He feels his heart stop.

“Lucas, where’s your man?” Arthur asks excitedly as he comes up beside Lucas. Obviously he doesn’t see the tears streaming down Lucas’s face or the slight flashes of anger as they pass through him. Lucas can’t form any words, so all he can do is motion his head up the stairs. Lucas watches as Arthur follows his gaze, and he watches as his smile fades away. There Eliott stands, pressing himself against a guy who clearly wasn’t Lucas. Because Lucas is the one watching them. Arthur turns away when they see Eliott and the other guy disappear into the closest room. “Lucas…” Arthur begins.

He shakes his head, “nah, it’s okay.” He knows he isn’t convincing either of them as another tear runs the length of his cheek, “I mean, we’re casual. He’s probably been...he’s probably been fucking other people this whole time, right? I’m not special. I’m just a toy. I knew that. It’s fine. It’s okay.” Lucas rushes out of the house. Everything suddenly becoming too overwhelming.

He makes it past the driveway and down the street before he’s kicking and screaming at a metal gate. He slams himself against it, punches it, and curses at it until his fingers are bleeding.

To Lucas: Hey, what are you doing later?

To Lucas: Did you ever come to Idriss’ party?

To Lucas: Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything okay?

To Lucas: Did I do something?

To Lucas: Lucas?

To Lucas: Okay, you’re sort of freaking me out, are you safe?

To Lucas: Lucas, why aren’t you responding. I saw your instagram post.

It’s been two weeks since the night of Idriss’ party. Eliott had been repeatedly calling and texting Lucas, yet to no avail. Maybe Lucas was done with him. Well, ever since Lucas’s most recent post on Instagram, it’s been made clear that Lucas moved on. In the photo Lucas has his arms wrapped around a guy Eliott would describe as...decent looking. They’re both smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes. It almost makes Eliott sick. The caption ties the whole thing together: he thinks because we’re on a date he gets to eat my fries. It’s cheesy, and Eliott nearly smiled at it the first time he read it.

But then his heart was ripped out of his chest. Because it meant that Lucas was cutting all ties with Eliott. It made sense, especially if he’s gotten a boyfriend. He wouldn’t want a fuck-buddy around. But that was the issue.

Eliott was so caught up in their friends with benefits relationship he hadn’t even realized he was falling for Lucas. And he had been falling hard. When Lucas began cutting ties with him, he was plunged into a period of depression. He locked himself in his room, cancelled the job he had with Mika to avoid contact with Lucas, and even turned his phone off. It wasn’t until Idriss and Sofiane burst into his room that he actually got out of bed. They had demanded to know what was going on. Eliott explained to them the situation: Lucas had cut ties, he’d gotten himself a boyfriend, and Eliott is slowly dying without him

“Wait, Lucas as in Lucas Lallemant?” Idriss asks.

Eliott nods his head while shooting his friend a questioning look.

“Well, he’s friends with Yann, uh, yeah Yann that’s his name. I saw them at my party Friday, and Yann and I were talking when all of a sudden Lucas came rushing past us, he looked super upset. It looked like he had been crying. We overheard some of the conversation between Lucas and his other friend, blonde hair, glasses guy.” Idriss pauses, “anyways, we heard them him something about ‘Lucas, I’m sorry. I can’t believe he did that’ and Lucas responded with something along the lines of ‘well, I’m his fuck toy so I don’t know what I expected.’”

Eliott frowns, trying to understand what they could have been talking about. Then it dawned on him, he had been making out with a guy before going into a room together. Eliott was so drunk he honestly doesn’t remember half of it. He does remember than he ended up throwing up on the guy, so obviously they didn’t end up doing anything. But, shit, Lucas doesn’t know that. “Oh, fuck,” Eliott groans and runs his hands through his hair. “They must have seen me go into the room with that guy. Shit.”

Sofiane frowned, “what guy? Did something happen?”

Eliott shook his head, “no, no. I...I ended up not going through with it. I felt...guilty.” Which was part of the truth, his friends didn’t need to know the more embarrassing details.

Sofiane lifted his eyebrows, “bro, you need to text Lucas. Tell him what you just told us. He obviously has deeper feelings for you as well, he was super upset it sounds like.”

Eliott pauses, “you think so?”

Idriss and Sofiane nod their head frantically.

Eliott laughs at his friends, but his smile fades almost immediately after, “but what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Or just doesn’t respond to this text either.”

Idriss places a gentle hand on Eliott’s shoulder, “you don’t know until you try, do you?”

He gives his friends a parting smile as they slowly make their way out of the room. It takes Eliott a couple more minutes to make his hands stop shaking and reach to unplug his phones. He opens his messages to Lucas, his heart slightly breaking at all the messages Lucas has still yet to respond to. Eliott takes a deep breath, his fingers typing out a message. He doesn’t want to scare Lucas off with a sudden barrage of all of his emotions. So he opts for a simple: Hey, Lucas, I miss you and I really want to talk. Just talk. I have some stuff I need to tell you.

It takes a day for Lucas to respond. It was shocking to Eliott that Lucas actually read it and responded to his message. He thought he was going to have radio silence forever.

He had holed himself in his room, turning off all notifications except for ones coming from Lucas. So when he heard his phone ping from his bedside he scrambles to grab his phone. His eyes finally focus on the screen, and he can practically hear his heart shattering.

From Lucas: Please stop contacting me, Eliott. I’m trying to move on from you. I saw you with that guy at Idriss’ party and I realized that I can’t do this casual thing forever. I realized I was falling in love with you, and obviously those are emotions that would get tangled in your whole ‘no strings attached’ thing. You contacting me isn’t making it any easier. Just stop.

Eliott feels like he is going to throw up. That was it. He lost his chance. Lucas doesn’t want to see him anymore. Sure, he’d gotten a confession, “I realized I was falling in love with you.” But Lucas already moved on. Lucas now has that guy who he flaunts on Instagram. Eliott briefly thinks about contacting that guy via Instagram and telling him that Lucas’s been fucking someone on the side, but he isn’t that evil. Instead he goes back to hiding himself in his room. Drawing pages upon pages of a raccoon and a hedgehog, smiling, holding hands, hugging, kissing, watching TV, moving in together, sleeping together, everything that their alternate universe selves could go doing at this very moment.

But of course he’s in the one universe where they go their separate ways.

Eliott’s forced out of his apartment when he runs out of milk around 10pm. He had been making cereal but was sourly disappointed when he found they didn’t have any milk. And neither Idriss or Sofiane are home to go get him some. He forces his legs into sweatpants and throws on his one sweatshirt before heading out the door. He looks like shit, he realizes, but he can’t find it in him to care. It’s now been a week since Lucas responded to his message. And in that week Lucas has posted another photo with his boyfriend on a dinner date. A dinner date Eliott wishes he could have been on with Lucas.

It’s slowly eating him alive, he thinks. The fact that he’s lost Lucas feels like it’s tearing him limb from limb. He regrets every waking moment that Lucas isn’t with him. That Lucas isn’t in his arms. Or when he can’t run out at one in the morning to go grab Lucas what he’s craving that very moment.

Eliott walks in like a zombie, barely having enough energy to pick up his feet as he walks to the back of the store. He grabs a random jug of milk, the weight of the carton pulling him forward. He watches his feet as he walks. He blinks slowly as the ground moves underneath him, and it begins to feel as if he isn’t even walking himself. Eliott bumps into something, and mutters a soft “sorry.” It’s when he hears a reply that he realizes he hadn’t bumped into something, but rather someone. He picks his head up to give an honest apology, but is met with the image of Lucas standing in front of the cereal. Their eyes lock for just a second before Lucas turns to run away.

“Lucas.” His voice halts Lucas dead in his tracks.

Lucas spins on his heels, coming face to face with a very disgruntled looking Eliott. He is probably the most worn-out looking Lucas has ever seen him. He’s in nothing but sweats, which Lucas didn’t even know he owned, his hair is more messy than usual, the dark circles under his eyes speak volumes on how little sleep he’s gotten, and he looks even thinner, almost like a shell of an Eliott he once was.

Lucas cradles the carton of orange juice in his arm and grips the box of cookies a little tighter, “hey, Eliott.”

Eliott doesn’t smile as he steps closer, but he tries to make a joke nonetheless, “big night I see.”

Lucas smiles, “well, Victor is over, so.”

Eliott feels his blood run cold. Victor. Most likely the boyfriend. “Ah, okay. Guess you had to find someone to replace me,” the joke runs flat. It doesn’t come out as a joke at all. All it does is make Lucas shift uncomfortably where he stands.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Lucas mutters and Eliott feels his heart flutter for just a second. “He’s nice, though. Yann introduced us. But, uh, there is one major issue with him.”

“And what’s that?” Eliott smiles.

“He likes dipping oreos in orange juice.” Lucas nearly whispers it and quirks an eyebrow up at him.

Eliott shakes his head in disbelief, “well, that is obviously inhumane. Are you sure he’s human?”

Lucas laughs, god, how Eliott missed that sound. “Sometimes I wonder. Anyways, I should probably, uh, head out. Don’t want to keep him waiting too long.”

Eliott nods, sucking in a breath, “yeah, of course.” He wants to scream when Lucas turns back around, walking slowly towards the front of the store. Eliott wants to beg Lucas to stay. To talk. Even for just another minute. Just long enough to tell him how much he regrets every choice he’s made up till now. How much he wants to kiss him and tell him he loves him. And cuddle and watch stupid cheesy movies togther. He wants to eat oreos with milk, like a normal human does. He wants to just kiss those lips one more time. He wants to brush his hands through Lucas’s hair one more time.

He wants to whisper a soft “I love you” in the morning before Lucas has woken up because Eliott was too ecstatic to fall asleep with an absolute angel sleeping next to him. Just one more time.

But Eliott was stupid enough to go into that room with a guy he can’t even remember the name of. A guy whose face is just a blur. Lucas could be his, and yet he still managed to fuck it up.

Before Eliott can stop himself he is sprinting out of the store, dropping things on random shelves as he goes. When he breaks out into the street he frantically looks from side to side, searching for the brown hair that sticks up every which way. It’s pouring outside, a storm passing overhead, and it blurs his vision. He spots him, moving in and out of the crowd. Eliott feels his throat constrict and heart rate pick up as he frantically moves after him. But it feels like the closer he gets, the faster Lucas is moving.

Eliott almost thinks it’s a lost battle, about to give up when he shouts a quick “Lucas!” not even sure if the boy will hear it over the pouring of the rain.

Eliott can do nothing but watch as Lucas slows down and looks over the sea of people, finally locking eyes with Eliott. Eliott’s face breaks into a grin, and he doesn’t care how stupid he looks as he trips over himself trying to reach the man of his dreams.

“Eliott?” Lucas asks, as if he isn’t sure if Eliott is really in front of him.

“Sorry, I-” Eliott swallows. He didn’t plan out anything to say.

Lucas waits patiently, searching Eliott’s face for any clue as to what is coming next.

“Lucas, I just, I need you to know,” Eliott can’t get the words out.

Lucas rolls his eyes, “Eliott, saying sorry isn’t going to get me back in your bed. I need you to understand that I fell in love with you, and it’s just too painful for me to continue this friends with benefits thing we have going on if I can’t actually have you in my life. You can’t just be some drifter who comes in and out whenever he pleases. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way, but I need a foundation. And, and it breaks my heart that you aren’t ready to offer me that.”

Lucas is about to turn away, but Eliott grabs his arm before he really has the opportunity, “no, Lucas. I-that wasn’t what I was going to say. Sure, I am sorry. I made so many choices that I regret. But, God, it’s killing me every second you aren’t with me. To be honest I’ve never felt this way with anyone before you.” Lucas is about to roll his eyes, so Eliott laughs and says, “and before you roll your eyes at how cheesy I sound, just know it’s true. I made poor decisions because I was falling in love with you. And I still am. I’m continuously falling for you, Lucas. I love you.”

Eliott can see the shocked expression flicker across Lucas’s face. And then an expression that says “I don’t know how to respond to that.” Lucas takes a breath in, “but, I...It’s too late, Eliott.” Eliott bites his bottom lip, hard enough so that it distracts him from the breaking of his heart. “I can’t just leave Victor…”

“But you can, Lucas!” Eliott pleads and grabs hold of Lucas’s free hand, “I want to be your boyfriend. I want to have a life with you. I want to see where our lives are headed, together. I could even see myself marrying you, Lucas. Which sounds crazy, I know, but it’s true.”

Lucas searches in Eliott’s eyes, maybe he is searching for the answer to their problems, he isn’t really sure. “I need some time,” Lucas mumbles and slowly slips his hand out of Eliott’s reach.

Eliott shakes his head as he watches Lucas’s gaze turn away. In one last attempt Eliott uses his hands to cup Lucas’s face, forcing them to face each other. Lucas is about to say something, but doesn’t have a chance before Eliott’s lips on his. Eliott melts into the kiss. Lucas tastes like honey, sweetness must pump throat his very veins. Lucas responds, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Eliott hears Lucas drop his bag of groceries in order to wrap both his arms around Eliott’s neck.

Eliott knows he needs to stop the kiss, because he’s trying to prove to Lucas he’s not just a sex toy, but the man that stole his heart. So Eliott slowly takes his lips away, and rests their foreheads together. “I love you, Lucas.” Eliott mutters against Lucas’s lips, “take all the time you need. But...preferably sooner than later. Because it’s killing me, Lucas.”

Lucas laughs breathily, and Eliott can tell neither of them are ready to pull away just yet, so he forces himself to make the first move. He steps away, untangling his fingers from Lucas’s hair. He walks backwards until Lucas is lost in the sea of people.

It’s another week before Lucas contacts Eliott. He’s just lounging around his house after his lectures at his university, obviously trying not to think about Lucas. But failing miserably. He practically jumps to his phone at the notification from Lucas. Next thing he knows he’s sitting in his car parked outside of Lucas’s house, trying to build up the courage to actually walk to the front door.

But before Eliott can unbuckle his seat belt Lucas is opening the door and standing in his doorway. Eliott notes that he looks positively ethereal standing there. Hips cocked outwards, hair a spikey mess, eyes red and puffy, and those lips mouthing Eliott’s name. Then Eliott realizes that Lucas is crying, and he’s only mouthing his name because he isn’t able to actually form any words without fear of his voice breaking.

That sends Eliott flying out of his car, rushing to cup Lucas’s head in his hands. They crash into the hug and Eliott feels Lucas smile against his shoulder, which eases away some of his worry. They stand there for what could have been eternity before Lucas whispers,

“I ended things with Victor, neither of us took it well.”

Eliott smiles, “well, I guess I’ll just have to take responsibility than.” He lifts his head off Lucas’s shoulder in order to cup his head in his hands and wipe away his tears. “I love you, Lallemant, so you better at least take responsibility for that.”

Lucas laughs, and the glassiness in his eyes fade. “Oh, I plan to.”

Eliott melts at the sight of Lucas’s smile. All he wants is for his boy to feel better. “Want to go watch a movie?” Eliott asks.

Lucas nods, “but only if it’s Oui-Oui.”

Eliott laughs, “whatever you want, baby.”

#skam france #skam #elu #I really hope you guys like this #I've been working on it for a while lol #eliott demaury #skam eliott #Lucas Lallemant #lucas #lucas and eliott

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing.

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky)

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op)

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?)

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow.

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy.

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points)

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro.

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions)

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY.

til next timeeee

#i think readmores are broken? sometimes? anyways i hope thats not the case and if so then im sorry everyone #im gonna schedule this for like 3 am this is just for me to ramble lmao #anyways i need a tag #uhhh #lj watches hxh #hxh #bam there we go

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casualneonglitterpainterposts · 5 years

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My Monster High OC's Profile page: Gadiel Stein

I only just realised that when I posted this to my DA page, I forgot to post it here too. Sorry it’s a little late but hopefully it gives you an idea about Gadiel Stein

Full Name: Gadiel "Gade" Julius Stein

Age: 17,000 years old (17 in human years) DOB: 13 July Height: 5'9 (176.9cm) Eyes: Sapphire blue (right eye) golden brown (left eye) Appearance: Mullet like white, cool grey, ice blue, black hair slicked to the left (long-ish hair), various shades of green for his skin, small stitch through right brow, right cheek and going from left of forehead, two sliver nuts (one either ear), two silver bolts- either side of his neck, deep sea green shirt/ a white blood stained jumper over the top, grey-ish blue ripped/torn baggy jeans and deep sea green lace up boots with golden yellow trim and golden yellow lightning bolt either sider of boot. Personality: kind soul, sensitive, slightly romantic, a bit of a rocker- edgy, somewhat tough, little bit of a bad boy, friendly and very welcoming. Family: Viktor Stein (father), Viveka Stein (mother), Frankie Stein (younger sister), Alivia Stein (youngest sister), Victor (Sparky) Stein (Frankenstein- Grandfather/grandpa), Jules (Julia) Stein (Frankenstein/Kress- grandmother/grandma/creator). Friends: Hoodude Vooodoo, Porter Geiss, Neighthan Rot, Robecca Steam, Finnegan Wake. Likes: Playing electric guitar, writing his own music, singing, rock n' roll, playing with his band "Pulse", biology, , his two younger sisters Frankie and Alivia Stein, visiting his grandmothers gravestone, a certain artistic blue funnel ghost (Fabiola), doing some mad science with his father, hanging about in his grandpa's old laboratory in the catacombs, sleeping, doodling, rocking out, sharing his music with others, travelling about and his family. Dislikes: rude people or bullies picking on others, seeing people sad- he will go over to them and do whatever it takes to cheer them up, water- it doesn't mix well with him and judgy people. Profile: Gadiel Stein is the only male child in his family and the eldest out of the Stein children. "Gade" has two sisters, Frankie and Alivia Stein- they were created by their father Viktor, on the other hand Gadiel wasn't made by his father. His grandmother Jules had made him as a gift to the steins to look after and protect his two sisters. Though he is seventeen in human years, his body parts made him 17,000 years as they are quite old. "Gade" is a sensitive kind soul with a passion to become a great musician: he writes and plays his own music with his band "pulse". Gade has a bit of an edgy personality, though at the same time he is a lover not a hater. When he's not playing in his band or writing music, Gade likes to study biology, go hang out in his grandpa's old laboratory in the catacombs or visit his grandmothers gravestone- mostly as he is closest to his grandma- due to her being his creator. Besides his music and adventurous side, Gade has recently fallen in love with a young blue artistic funnel ghost called Fabiola-he loves how she's so passionate about her work, how friendly and cute she is too. Though he is kind and friendly, Gade will only be tough on those who think its alright to be rude or pick on others, he can't stand cruel or wicked people. He also likes to cheer up others when their sad-he will go over to them and do whatever it takes to cheer them up. One thing that Gadiel can't stand in water, mostly as it doesn't mix well with a monster brought to life with electricity. Overall, Gadiel might be made of parts of people, occasionally fall apart and rock out, but underneath his various green skim beats the heart of a kind loving person.

#my original character #monster high #monster high oc #gadiel stein #profile page

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notesbyfleur · 3 years

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john and alizeh.

John is the most accurate definition of tall, dark and handsome. We have known each other since we were eleven, or twelve. We were in the same circle of friends—who grew up together from pre-puberty kids to teenagers with keypad mobile phones and independence—but sadly, we rarely talk. I never said ‘hi’ whenever we passed by, and neither did he. But he knows whenever I am present, and I would always secretly find his face when everyone gathers. We only exchanged smiles, occassionally, and communicates with each other via friends, very subtly.

There was a certain unspoken agreement that when your best friend has a crush on a guy, you do not talk to the guy. So despite not talking to John because Alizeh likes him so dearly, I have spend most evenings sitting at the bus stop down the school hill, watching the boys play football in their shorts. He was there. Tall, dark and handsome. His hair is always in a classic Frankie Muniz updo, and his eyes were dark, mysterious and calm. He was funny, and he likes cracking jokes, but he also retreats himself into a shy demeanour shortly after.

Alizeh talks about him nearly half of the time we hung out together in school and after school, so by time, I was able to get used to listening to stories of John. And when we were fourteen, they dated each other. I guess he must’ve liked her for so long too. Alizeh is a lovely person, and while she might not be the star student in our school, she walks with grace and beauty. Jet black spill of hair tucked behind her ears, and soft white skin with a subtle tan that reminds you of thick cheesecakes. There is a certain politeness in her smile, as if she was playing Dutchess all the time, but they were the most warm, genuine smile.

One afternoon when I was thirteen, I smashed the little glass swan John gave me for my twelfth birthday and practiced playing Game of Love on my father’s guitar until the tip of my fingers burned in pain.

Alizeh moved away when we were fifteen, and I still hadn’t talked to John in the most casual and direct conversation. By that time, I was able to recite the entire Science syllabus, played many songs on the guitar and sat with the boys of my class in my pinafore while they helped changing the strings of my father’s guitar.

John and I only started properly talking when we were sixteen, but not much words are exchanged. Most of the time, there were silence. Which had led us to this very moment—when he was waiting outside the gates of my house on his motorcycle on a Wednesday evening.

I refused to wear the helmet, because we were only heading a few blocks away from my house for Maths tution. I have no problem with walking, but our friend suggested that he gave me a lift.

“Okay, get behind me,” he said, already mounted on his motorcycle. His voice was slow and soft.

I climbed behind him and held on to my tote bag, which was sandwiched between us. He made a turn and we left. Again, very few words were exchanged between us—as it was in school and during tuition.

***

I remember evenings from my teenage years very faintly, but often times the recalling would come in the most beautiful form I could never explain—like old recordings of the five senses in the most comforting way that makes you feel like old memories are things that are so intangible, no matter how close they are to your heart. Often decorated with orange sunsets or gloomy skies, and framed with beautiful bokeh or grey diamonds of raindrops, my recollections of youth revolves around everything that was truly innocent.

Innocent, but nothing was within my grasp. Not the one I couldn’t control, at least.

Worn out debate cards tucked into my tote bag. Pages of my physics schoolbook turned chilly by the air-conditioning of my own bedroom, untouched and clean from scribbles. I lay in bed with my limbs sprawled, eyes staring into the nothingness that was on the ceiling. The five o’clock evening sun cast orange hues through slits of the curtains, on whichever surface it could touch.

Love Is Only A Feeling by The Darkness was playing. My lips mouthed its lyrics, my throat releasing nearly-inaudible vocals. It was an anthem. Music was my element.

It was also sad how music is something that guitar-playing John is something we could always bond over. Yet besides motorcycle rides and tuitions, our conversations were almost obsolete. Words exchanged between us could compare to the likeliness of solar eclipses.

Alizeh was long gone. Distance was a difficult barrier when you’re a highschooler of the 2000s—and the Nokias and Sony Ericssons were only promises on one end. Phone calls and instant messages with Alizeh became less and less, until one day, it stopped. Like a long-distance relationship with a faint ending, friendship faded into the background, like a slow score of an eventful scene.

Without Alizeh, eye contacts happened more often.

***

I have never had a proper conversation with John, and even two years after Alizeh has left us in this smaller, peaceful town, I still have not had a proper conversation with John. I regretted smashing the glass swan when I was thirteen, but we don’t carry or keep things that no longer serves us.

As Alizeh faded into the void behind us, making her presence no longer felt among our group of not-so tight knit friends, I breathed a new life into my courage. No, not the kind of courage you need to speak in front of the crowd, carrying the school’s name on your forehead and aiming for the grand prize.

Courage is a funny thing. It was as if we all exists on different planes and we view courage differently. One could fear the act of making decisions for a group of teenage mankind and strutting forward spouting instructions from his mouth. I have no such fear. One could fear the act of being left alone with a person she had known for five to six years, fear of stuttering and fidgeting not knowing what to talk about. That would be my fear.

For the rest of my high school days, I knew his full name. I knew his birthday. I knew his family, I visited his house. I knew that he broke his hand in the sixth grade from an accident. I knew how he liked his hair done. I knew he enjoys his motorcycle rides to and fro school in the evening. I knew what everyone else knew. I didn’t know what lies below the surface instead—insecurities, fears, everything personal and everything sentimental. Yet times spent whenever he was in my scene, my field of vision, and my presence; they felt somewhat cinematic. Time slows down to make way for the sun to give its golden warmth upon us, and whenever it was raining, alternative rock music often played in independent movies plays in its own plane. But that was ultimately everything. It was as if we have a cackling chemistry, but we never had an existing bond between us. It was like a metal bridge being built from both sides, having never met in the middle.

***

The town where I grew up in was such a small town, but when you have everything so close around you, physically and sentimentally, it becomes your entire world. There was nothing you could lose and even with the lack of this and that, everything felt sufficient. I have been fed with the idea of a wistful high school experience, from the sappy books I’ve read. I found out later that I was wrong, that I thought everything I had in my teenage years would stick with me throughout the rest of my life, growing with me. It’s such a beautiful thought—to be able to transition into a much more serious part of life with the people you grew up with.

Alizeh was the first warning that not everything lasts, and people grow apart. What the town gives you to nurture your growth doesn’t necessarily cling with you as you transition. Butterflies don’t bring their coccoon with them after metamorphosis. The first to leave was my best friend. And then, everything else.

John looked at me with obscure sorrow in his eyes. It was that one evening where our friends were as energetic despite the lack of sun. John’s hands clung onto his motorcycle as he stood beside it. Like everyone else, we weren’t in the rush to get home.

I was prepared—as usual—to go with him. After several times, he was used to giving me a ride from and back home. I forgot when did the favour turned into an unspoken one. Perhaps we took it as an arrangement, which unfortunately did not last under certain circumstances—changes.

But I was waiting for him to climb onto his motorcycle first, so I could climb behind him. That’s the way it is always, isn’t it?

He didn’t. Instead, he looked at me with obscure sorrow in his eyes. Head slightly tilted sideways, updo unwavered—he looked at me like someone looked at a nostalgic past, something he longed for but can never touch.

I didn’t ask questions. I never do. We never have proper conversations. I felt like asking would lead to and intrusion of personal space of his.

He opened his mouth and sucked his breath. My friends were already on the road, with laughter so loud it might have echoed the entire neighbourhood. He wasn’t curious enough to see what was so amusing.

And that was when I finally asked, “what?”

“I’m moving.” He said so with a tone that was only meant to be heard by me and no one else. I turned to the rest of my friends, but they were too occupied to be in the conversation—or perhaps John had only meant it to be a one-to-one announcement. The rest of our friends could probably wait.

“You’re moving?” I repeated rethorically—what else am I supposed to say?

He nodded. “I’m leaving next month.”

“Where to?”

“KL. The big city.”

I said nothing else. I clutched my fist, hoping not to look indifferent about his announcement of departure. But I couldn’t bring myself to produce a proper spoken response, or any response at all. I couldn’t keep the conversation going, mostly because asking things in which you could easily predict the answer is useless. He is moving because his father has to move for work—his mother is a housewife. He doesn’t know what school will he enroll in once he got there. He will come to visit—he has family staying in town still. And he will at least throw a farewell barbecue party for his friends before he leaves.

“How do you feel about it?”

“Sad. I mean, I grew up here.”

He moved away the month after. You’d think it would be cinematic. You’d think I would be sending him love letter like Lara Jean, and we’d be making out on an all-green football field under the sun, at least before he leaves forever. But it didn’t happen, I said nothing, and one day we stopped seeing his face around school.

***

A/N: This was written as a part of my memoir-themed novella, Oxygen and Other Dreams, that remained as unfinished as I left it in 2018. As much as I could recall a lot of details accurately, I couldn't bring myself to write the following part. It was something that I never have apologised to John for—but someday, maybe I will.

John and I remained friends on social media, as Alizeh too. They married different people now, and they're very blessed to have found lifetime love. I was never someone who could fit into their narratives comfortably—a misfit—and I feel like I am still the misfit. I'm still here, and I'm still me.

— steff fleur // july 2, 2021

#oxygen and other dreams #novella #unfinished

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frankie2902 · 6 years

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1-45 for the ask I want to know all^^

Oh wow Anon, you sure do want to know it all! I’ll do my best for you and I’m sorry that I got to this so late!! hopefully you see it!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Ashes by Celine Dion from the new deadpool movie coming out, She Loves Control by Camila , Mi Gente by Beyonce and others, Move Like you Stole It ZZ Ward, In My Blood by Shawn Mendez, E.T. by Katy Perry.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Stan Lee, that or my all time answer despite this questions wording of on this earth, Steve Irwin. He’s a huge inspiration for me.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. This actually prompted me to pick up an old journal of my moms and this is part of a poem she wrote in 1986 about Desire, ‘Yet what is to be found at the end of this journey has yet to be revealed’ Time to talk to my mother about our same love of writing as it seems apparent lol

4: What do you think about most? honestly I think mostly about my novels, scenes, dialogue, theme songs, character bios. My writing is as vital to my survival as the air I breathe.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Better yet I’ll be there at 2:30 forgot it was at 3lol”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I always sleep with at least a shirt on, just in case someone has to come in and talk to me.

7:What’s your strangest talent? My strangest talent? I’d have to say that it’d be that I can make my eyes wiggle back and forth really really fast, or that I can crack every joint I have, or that I’m double jointed but I don’t know if those are talents… I sure have a talent for rambling huh??

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are beautiful. Boys are beautiful too. ((I had no idea what to say lol))

9:Ever had a poem or song written about you? YES!! My little brother is a violinist and he composed a song for me named ‘The Dragons Journey’ because I love dragons, I got him to love dragons and I was then living out of state for college.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? the last time I listened to music which is like, now lol

11: Do you have any strange phobias? Bees. Definitely Bees.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Nope, Not that I’ve been told or that I remember doing.

13: What’s your religion? I don’t like labels for my faith, I’ve been told I’m an Omnist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? I’m most likely on the school playground with my students or hanging out with my friends in my free time.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I have no preference, I just love making memories.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? hmm, well shit… Gotta say sugarland.

17: What was the last lie you told? I make it a point not to lie unless totally necessary so my last lie? “I did it, I’m sorry”

18: Do you believe in karma? oh heck yes, you get whats comin to you in the end so best be as kind and wonderful to others as you want them to be to you.

19: What does your URL mean? My URL is just my nickname and four random numbers I made up in middle school lol

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? I’d say my greatest weakness is second guessing if I deserve to be happy or if I’ve earned the right to have such wonderful friends and an even better Lover and friend. My greatest Strength? I’d say thats my determination and perseverance to get through tough times and get out feeling like it didn’t take much. basically my stubbornness lol

21: Who is your celebrity crush? My celebrity crush, Male, Dwayne The Rock Johnson or Tom Holland, Female? Halsey, Gal Gadot or Lilly Singh.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yes and I got caught with my dumb luck -.- Moving along!!

23: How do you vent your anger? I vent my anger by singing, belting out my favorite songs and letting myself cry and then writing angst, violence, tragedy and gore.

24: Do you have a collection of anything? Movies, Manga, Anime, Books 250+ and still going!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I honestly hate both of those due to my anxiety unless I know the people very well though the people who know me very well know that I don’t like it sooooo… but if I had to pick it’d be talking on the phone.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I’m incredibly happy and proud of the person I’ve become, I’ve been through many traumatic things but I’m most proud that I can still smile and be positive.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of people chewing with their damn mouth open, I never think of murder more than when I hear it. I love the sound of wind through the trees, a little creek with water rushing over a shallow bed of pebbles, birds chirping faintly in the background, rain pouring down on the ground. I adore it more than words can say.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? My biggest what if? what if i’m actually insane and people just don’t tell me

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Oh I absolutely believe in ghosts, I have had paranormal experiences in EVERY SINGLE house I have ever lived in so it’d be weird if I didn’t believe along with my own sensitivity to it. the universe is infinite, we have no idea how far it goes of course theres a chance of other life being out there, maybe we’re just out of reach.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. To my right, my bag that reads “If you were in my novel I would have killed you off already” To my left, my mothers winnie the pooh hat box.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? I smell baby powder very very faintly, very odd but I do work in a daycare soo.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? The dentist. I hate it.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Gotta say west coast, just a lot more fun things going on that direction.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Dwayne the Rock Johnson, yes he sings he was in a disney movie.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? the meaning of love is caring more for another being than you do for yourself while also loving yourself.

36: Define Art. Art is expression of self and of your emotions in a way that you learn more about yourself and if you want too, teach others.

37: Do you believe in luck? heck yes I do, it goes hand in hand with Karma!

38: What’s the weather like right now? It’s a good hot day but cooling off, skies are overcast and I’m hoping it rains tonight.

39: What time is it? 7:22 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I do drive! and yes I have crashed and totaled a car.

41: What was the last book you read? Born at Midnight by C.C. Hunter

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? its not a bad smell but as a cook I’ve learned to not really appreciate its presence.

43: Do you have any nicknames? I do! Frankie, Missy, Frank, Frankenstein, Frances, B, Fred. Lots!

44: What was the last film you saw? RAMPAGE, which I already pre-ordered on amazon because I’m a ho for funny movies with The Rock and adorable animal companions.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? the worst injury I’ve ever had, I’ve had my ribs popped out of place.

#ask me questions #ask me anything #ask #asks #thanks everyone for the follows and asks ♥#ask me tuesday

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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947

Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Only when I’m crying, apparently. I tend to feel like throwing up whenever I get extremely upset. I have to be feeling very distraught though, because otherwise crying is also usually enough.

Where are you the most ticklish? Everywhere. I’m really ticklish :( But the place I hate being tickled the most are the sides of my tummy.

What was the last situation to upset you? There’s a glaring issue, but I don’t want to get into it. Let me use this blog to escape my problems, pls.

Have you ever had an online argument? I’ve had some in the past but they’ve been very rare and it was always with someone who was fighting for something they’ve already lost. I’d always prefer to avoid getting into arguments, though.

Do you like to listen to music while filling out surveys? Just instrumental, lo-fi music, but I haven’t done so in a while since I can’t really listen to lo-fi when I’m sad. These days I listen to Rhett and Link’s Ear Biscuits podcast while working; it feels like I’ve got company, and it makes me feel good.

Do you ever eat/drink while you fill them out? Eat, not really. It gets my keyboard all sticky and I usually like taking my surveys in one go, so I find that having food with me and having to take a bite every now and then is too distracting. I like having a cup of coffee with my surveys though, like right now :)

Have you ever done a survey whilst high or drunk? How’d it go? Tipsy or hungover, but never while drunk. I would be too dizzy to take an entire survey if I was already drunk.

Are you at risk for any medical issues? My maternal grandpa’s side has a not-so-impressive track record when it comes to heart issues, so I’m a little scared of what that means for me. He and his other sibling suddenly died from heart attacks. Everyone else in the family, all sides considered, seems to have no running issues though health-wise.

The general subject of your last text conversation? My graduation and how it went. One of the associates at work has started a casual conversation with me – to know me better, I guess – and it’s just so weird because he’s actually a drummer for one of the biggest bands in the country. I’m not super starstruck because I don’t listen to their music and he’s nothing more than my superior, but my co-interns consistently fangirling over him in our intern groupchat has made me more conscious lol.

Is there anything near you that’s considered dangerous? I have a cup of coffee beside me and I know a certain amount of caffeine intake can be fatal, so I guess that counts.

What is just down the hall from where you’re located? My brother’s room and the staircase leading to the rooftop.

Do you ever do surveys at other peoples’ houses? Not really, unless it’s a close relative’s place. I feel like if I’m at someone else’s house, I should be good company and not be glued to my laptop taking surveys. haha.

Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? Just Gabie.

What is your least favorite question to answer? Basic ones, like those that ask for my favorite color or drink; or those that are too existential or that generally make me think harder.

Do you like the controversial/political surveys? As long as it’s not too ideological or US-based, I can handle political questions.

Do you tend to answer with only a phrase or word, or do you elaborate? I like elaborating with a few sentences, especially if I have something to share. I’m here to air out my thoughts and memories, so I’m definitely not stingy with my words.

Who/What did you last spend time worrying about? A superior from work asked me to come up with a few marketing tactics for a communications plan that they’re working on, and as a perfectionist that just wants to impress, I was largely worried about it because I feel like I’m rusty now after not having classes for so long.

Has anyone ever told you that you needed to get a life? Did you? Not really. I’d feel bad if I was told that.

How long do you spend on the phone each day, on average? 4-6 hours, I would say. I’m glued to it in short bursts all day long.

How about in the microwave? Are you more likely to use this? I spend 0 minutes in the microwave, but as for my microwave usage...nothing more than 3 minutes, I guess? I don’t use it a lot.

Is anything in your hair right now, like gel, hairspray, &etc? Nothing other than shampoo and conditioner, which are both obviously washed out already.

How do you typically style your hair? Does it take long? Ponytail or half ponytail. Sometimes I simply let it down.

Would you try to be a hero in a hostage situation? Fuck no, I think I would get everyone killed in an instant lol. For someone who’s a communications major, negotiation isn’t my strongest suit.

When were you last offered something illegal? December. I’ll never forget when Kate offered us drugs lmaoooo. I forgot which one it was anymore, but I remember nearly agreeing just to try it out. Not my finest moment.

Did you accept or decline that offer? I remember showing her that I was kinda interested, but plans eventually fell through that night so nothing happened anyway. I also knew Gab would’ve been disappointed, so I don’t know if I would’ve actually pushed through with it.

When was the last time you were up before the sun? Today. I woke up at around 4 AM and never went back to bed.

What are you most confident about? Most insecure about? I’m confident about my work ethic and my enthusiasm for this current gig I’ve got. Right now I’ve just been insecure about...everything. I’ve felt pretty unwanted and unloved lately, so the only thing keeping me sane is work.

When was the last time that you saw fire? Maybe over the last week when I saw my dad cooking in the kitchen.

Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? Not so much. I don’t like how it tints my vision.

What do you think in general of girls with short hair? It’s whatever?

How about guys with long hair? It’s whatever.

Where’s the best place to get your favorite dish? Frankie’s, Yabu, or Torch.

When are you most likely to fill out a survey? Any time, really. My main hours used to be 9 PM onwards, but these days it’s just whenever I feel okay and have the energy to take one survey or four.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? Coffee.

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20? Probably my sister, but that would be ages ago. Until now no one under the age of 21 is allowed to go out, so I’m fairly confident I haven’t been in a car with any 20 and below year olds.

Last time you walked further than a block? Sometime last week.

Can you play Guitar Hero? Yeah, but only on the controller. I can never play it properly on the actual guitar because I’ve always had problems moving my fingers around lol.

Name the last person that made you laugh? Angela.

What brand of digital camera do you own? I don’t own one anymore.

If you could move somewhere else, would you? I would. And start anew. Sounds like paradise.

Have you ever seen somebody get shot? Fortunately not. That’s the kind of thing that would scar me for life, I’m sure.

Where are you at right now? In my room on my bed. < Same. No one at work is giving me tasks at the moment, so it’s a slower day.

#survey #surveys

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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 years

Text

chapter three: the first skeleton

“So let me get this straight,” Joey started. “If you and I are gonna be dates to Aurora's wedding, I have to meet your parents?”

“That's correct,” Sam replied with a nod of her head. “It just makes sense to me. My mom and dad need to know who my friends—and more than friends—are.”

“But we're not actually dating, though,” he pointed out.

“I know we aren't. But we are wedding dates.”

Joey shook his head and his black curls spread about over his slender shoulders. “Wait, huh?”

“Yes?”

“Huh. Wait.” He brought a finger to his dark lips.

“Wait?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

They froze right there in the front foyer.

“Wait a second, wait a second,” Joey said with a wave of his hand, “—back up, back up. Go over that again.”

“I did twice already, Joey,” she insisted. “You're my date to Aurora and Emile's wedding whenever it'll be, but you and I aren't actually in a full relationship, though. Make sense?”

“Yes, actually—sorry, I had a little sip of booze earlier.”

“Had a feeling you did,” she replied, nonchalant, “I'll make you sleep in the same room as me and Bel if that's what it comes down to.”

“Heh, sleepin' in the same room as two girls,” he laughed as he ran his fingers through his black curls.

“Yeah, you would like that wouldn't you?” Belinda called from the top of the stairs.

“Like it?” Joey retorted. “It'd be fun as hell.”

“Maybe some other time,” Sam vowed to him with a wink and he giggled at the notion. Aurora strode into the narrow space right behind them with a pair of champagne glasses in either hand, and something bubbling inside of them.

“Champagne, already?” Sam asked her with a gaping of her mouth.

“Sparkling cider,” Aurora corrected her and she handed the one in her right hand to her.

“Is there more?” Joey asked her.

“Oh, yeah, full bottle right in the next room.” And he ducked behind her to fetch the bottle; but then she turned to Sam.

“He's gonna be my date to your wedding,” she told her.

“Aw!” A soft blush crossed Aurora's face to where she resembled a geisha. “I'm getting married and my best friend has a date!”

Sam stopped in her tracks. She thought about what she had told to Joey and what he said to her, and yet that sentiment made her think otherwise about it.

“—yes?” she sputtered out as she could feel her face growing warm. “Yes! Yes, yes! He's officially my date!”

“Perhaps Emile and I can come to your wedding soon?”

“Maybe, if Joey finds his way around the rings section and finds one as beautiful as that purple one you have on.”

“We're the twin vixens, both of us,” said Aurora as she raised her glass to her.

“Heh, the twin vixens.” They clinked the rims of the glasses together and drank down the cider in unison. Joey said something in the next room, but Sam was fixed on her best friend before her.

“So what can I—I mean, Joey and I get you for the big day?”

“Not sure yet,” Aurora confessed. “I'll be making up a list soon enough and then I shall share it.”

“Another toast to us,” Sam told her, and they clinked their glasses together again. Aurora downed her cider altogether right there and then she raised a finger to her, such that her engagement ring flashed with that bright purple under the lights.

“Hang on—I have to ask Emile something.” And she bowed back into the same room as Joey and the cider bottle. Sam stood there in the middle of the floor with her free hand tucked into her pajama pocket. Her best friend was getting married: it seemed so surreal to her, especially after just a couple of years of knowing one another. The front door swung open and Marla stepped inside of the foyer: her pink and orange hair glimmered under the ceiling light so it almost resembled to metal.

“Hey, you,” Sam greeted her.

“Hey—did you hear about Aurora?” Marla's face lit up as she shut the door behind her.

“Did I hear? It's everywhere.” Sam took a sip of cider before she spoke again. “By the way, I feel like I haven't seen you in a million years. How are things with you?”

“You know, I just think of what Zelda and Belinda said to the boys after Cliff died,” she began in a low voice.

“The fact we should go places ourselves?” Sam recalled.

“Yeah.” Marla gazed on at her with a thoughtful look plastered across her face. “I just feel like there's more to life than commuting to and from school, you know?”

“Yeah,” Sam replied with a nod of her head. “I do know.”

“And I feel like that since Kirk and Rebecca having gotten married, and now Aurora and Emile are engaged, it kind of makes me wonder what the two of us are doing to be honest.”

“You know, Joey and I are gonna be dates to Aurora and Emile's wedding.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah. But it's platonic, though—we're not actually dating.”

“I can see it becoming that, though,” Marla pointed out, to which Sam shook her head at that.

“That was said about me and Frankie and he and I are still good friends with each other,” she flatly said.

“But you should see how he's been looking at you, though, Sam. Pfff, never mind Frankie, you should see how Charlie's been looking at you since you started getting heavy.”

“Haven't noticed,” she confessed.

“I actually had to slap Charlie to snap him out of it. I mean, it's nothing against you—I just wonder if there's far more beyond what we already know here.”

Sam nibbled on her bottom lip and she gazed on at the remainder of the cider in the glass. The bubbles floated from the bottom all the way to the surface, and she thought about Joey and that bubbling grin on his face. Maybe there was something far more to him than she had thought before. He wanted to stay away from the alcohol and yet things kept on happening that forced him back into it yet again: she thought back to the hockey rink and just how full of life he was around her, there on the ice.

Maybe that was it. Maybe she needed to break some more ice just to get into him and get him away from all that ailed him. It was so obvious to her!

Aurora already assumed it, but maybe she could play with it a bit more towards Marla.

“What would you say if he and I actually started dating?” she asked her.

“What would I say? I'd say job well done, little sister.”

“And what if we don't?”

“I'd still say job well done, little sister, but under one condition, though.”

“And what would that be?”

“You go out with Charlie for a week.”

“You're actually gonna let that happen?”

“Not necessarily let it.” Marla raised her eyebrows at her, and that was when Sam gasped.

“Oh, no!”

And Marla nodded her head.

“Yeah, as soon as we get home, I'm taking my things and Dream Genie with me back down to Hell's Kitchen. That is if the apartment is still vacant. It happened just five minutes ago—I came in to tell you about it plus Aurora getting engaged.”

“Wow,” Sam breathed out. “So Zelda broke up with Louie and now Marla's broken up from Charlie.” Marla shook her head and her iridescent hair shimmered with the pink and orange tones. “Drummers,” Sam added.

“Drummers, for sure. I guess Joey is one, too?”

“He sure is!”

“Well, if you guys do end up together in the end, make sure you hold onto him. Don't make the same mistake Zelda and I made and get caught up in your own bullshit.” She sighed through her nose.

“Well—we've got a whole weekend here on the West Coast,” Sam suggested. “I was planning on taking Joey over to Reno to meet my parents just 'cause, and also to tell my parents that my best friend is getting married.”

“Oh, I see, you want your mom and dad to know what they're getting themselves into with him,” Marla said.

“Exactly! They need to know who my friends and more than friends—” She flashed a wink when she said that. “—are.”

“I just have one question, though,” Marla started again.

“What's that?”

“How're you getting over there? Charlie has the keys.”

“So do you, though,” Sam pointed out.

“True. I don't really want to leave him here in the Bay Area, though.”

“Why not? They're all friends here.”

“How 'bout we do it on Sunday and then fly from Reno? Danny and Frankie drove here from Reno.”

“Nah. We would have to hustle back here—I kinda wanna get to know these guys better, too. The guys from Exodus and Death Angel... they all seem so nice.”

“It's all tightly woven here. They're all friends and neighbors just like back in New York—”

Big laughter across the way cut Marla off, and they both turned towards the door.

“What's going on?” she wondered aloud. Sam downed the rest of her cider and she lunged past Marla for the door. The sun had set over Marin Heights but Greg and Alex had lit up a couple of hurricane lanterns on the front porch of Testament's cabin. They were seated on a pair of stools, and both of them cradled old guitars in their laps: Sam looked closer to find Greg had found an old off white banjo.

“What're they doin',” she chuckled and she walked out of there first, and Marla followed. Alex had his head bowed over the dusty old guitar, which looked as though it was about to crumble apart if he plucked too hard with his fingertips. He raised his head right as Sam and Marla stood before them, and he nodded at them.

“Forgot my picks,” he told them with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Next Testament album is gonna have a banjo on it,” Sam told him and Greg.

“Oh, yeah, definitely!” Greg laughed at that as he plucked at the strings: it wasn't that familiar rustic sound but something along those lines.

“Li'l dueling strings before we turn in for the night,” Alex declared with another nod of his head, and his jet black hair dangled over his shoulders like a pair of dog ears.

“A banjo and a xylophone,” Greg continued.

“A banjo, xylophone, and a kazoo,” Alex added.

“A banjo, xylophone, kazoo, and Jew's harp!” Marla chimed in.

“I like how you looked right at me when you said that,” Alex said with a straight face.

“Well, yeah,” Sam teased him, and she could feel her face growing warm again.

“Bet these girls wanna play your Jew's harp, Alex,” Greg quipped as he crossed his legs and moved the banjo onto his knee; and Alex rolled his eyes at that.

“Oy vey, dare I say,” he groaned.

“Hey, that rhymed,” Marla pointed out with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah, it did,” he said with a pensive look on his face, “and I'll tell you this, Greg—if they do that, they both gotta stand on my chest.” Sam and Marla laughed out loud at that, and the former wondered where this Alex had come from. It could have been from the guitar on his lap, but she had no idea. But then again, he bowed his head and let the hair fall over his shoulders once more. Greg plucked at the fine banjo strings as if they belonged on his bass guitar. Alex kept his gaze fixed on the dusty old strings, and Sam thought back to that first time she got to see him in action with them back at L'Amour. He was always in the zone to say in the least, and nothing else seemed to bother him when he played on those strings: just completely in a world of his own while he paid attention to the band around him.

He then lifted his head a bit: the pink and orange twilight left a glow on the villa around them, and that glow shone onto his round face so it seemed rounder and softer than before, like that of the moon. Still very much just a boy. Sam peered over her shoulder at the incoming clouds for the night, and she noticed the ones that appeared to be higher up, the ones shaped like big pillows. She wondered if they would have a bit of rain for the evening.

He looked over at Greg for a few seconds and he kept his hand over the guitar body all the while. Greg began something that resembled to a bass line on the banjo and he nodded back at Alex.

“Call that a duel?” Alex challenged him.

“We'll see about that,” Greg retorted as he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. Alex never moved as he plucked at the guitar strings harder and faster in comparison.

“What the hell, you playin' 'Over the Wall'?”

“Nah, 'Alone in the Dark'. Doesn't sound the same like in the studio and on my electric but it's—” He plucked hard, fast, and steady across the strings: to Sam, it was just a wall of continual acoustic guitar noise.

“'Alone in the Dark' on a banjo,” Greg chuckled as he strove to keep up. “Too deep and technical for this.”

“I can see it working, though,” Alex pointed out.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah—you'd have to step it down a bit, but it can work. I can see it.” Greg reached up to adjust the tightness of one of the strings, and then he brought his fingers back to the neck. He strove to keep up with Alex, but he wasn't as quick and it just sounded the same as before.

“Lower, dude, lower!” Alex exclaimed.

“It's gonna be out of tune, though, Alex,” Greg insisted.

“What's going on out here?” Zetro called from Sam and Marla's right. He had a white towel over the back of his neck and an unlit cigarette in one hand.

“Stuff,” Sam replied to him.

“All kinds of stuff,” Marla added.

“Dueling banjos, I see,” Zetro remarked.

“Banjo and a guitar,” Greg corrected him as he adjusted the tuning on the banjo again to bring it back.

“Zelda and I are going down to the beach,” Zetro said. “And then we're going back to my place.”

“You're not gonna stay here?” Sam asked him.

“Nah, it's gonna be the two of us plus Tom and Gary in that cabin—I want her to be comfy.”

“And I can see you not being comfy, too,” Marla said.

“Nah, I'm more concerned with her because we're all brothers up here,” Zetro explained. “Every last one of us. And even more so since Cliff passed. We gotta stay together, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah...” Sam turned her attention back to Alex, who was still very much in the zone of things with that dusty old guitar. Even in the dim light, she was mesmerized by his strong plucking on the strings. It made her think of Cliff and she wondered more about him.

“Friendship knows no distance,” Zetro continued. “Anything like that knows no distance whatsoever. It's tough, but if you feel it within you, and you feel it strong enough, it goes away and you're closer than ever.” He held the cigarette up to his mouth and reached into his pocket for a lighter, and that was when Alex stopped right in his tracks. The silence that ensued settled over them like a ton of bricks.

“Oh, yeah, the little man's not crazy about cigarette smoke,” Zetro recalled.

“That's an understatement,” Alex groaned as he leaned back a bit.

“C'mon—live a little! We're supposed to get thunderstorms tonight and you fellas are goin' nuts on those things!”

Marla turned to Sam right then.

“So when do you and Joey plan on going to your parents' house?” she asked her in a low voice.

“Whenever,” Sam replied with a shake of her head. “We can leave first thing if you'd like.”

“Deal.” Marla nodded her head.

“—like a couple'a smart cowboys,” Zetro was saying.

“That's bluesmen to you,” Alex scoffed.

“What're you gonna do, though?” Sam asked Marla.

“I'll think of something,” she assured her, “—I can probably just come along to meet your parents, too, if you'd like. You know, the same logic and whatnot.”

“True, true.” Sam nodded.

“—out on the bayou with a spit bucket, too,” Zetro chided.

“God, no!” Alex groaned.

“Maybe the three of us can have dinner with my parents tomorrow night,” Sam suggested, still with her voice down low, “my mom makes the best homemade pizza and my dad'll know how to treat you, too. Like their mindset is always one of 'friends of Sam are friends of ours.'”

“Aw, I like that—I wish my parents were like that.”

“—eggs,” Greg blurted out.

“Eggs?” Marla asked him.

“Eggs.”

“Huevos rancheros, li'l Marla,” Zetro was saying as he brought the flame up to his cigarette, much to Alex's chagrin.

“So I'll bring the car around at seven?” Marla asked Sam.

“Seven? No.”

“Mmm, how 'bout eight?”

“It's almost four hours, though... seven thirty?”

“Yeah, meet ya in the middle. Let's do it.”

“Okay, I'll call my parents and then I'll tell Joey.” Sam flashed Marla another wink; Alex and Greg doubled back into their cabin and the two girls headed back to their own so they could let Zetro smoke out there. Joey was still nowhere to be seen and thus, Sam headed back up to her room for the phone, where Belinda awaited her with the copy of Siddhartha plunked out before her on the bottom bunk.

“Ah, I see you found the book Cliff introduced me to,” she noted.

“Yeah, I just saw it and I got curious,” Belinda confessed as she gave her blonde hair a slight toss back. “I've decided I'm gonna read more this year.”

“Read and make art? Sounds like a good life. By the way, Marla, Joey, and I are going up to Reno bright and early tomorrow.”

“Ooh, what's in Reno?”

“My parents.”

“Aw! Give 'em my love. You know, 'cause of Cliff and everything.”

“Of course, of course.”

Within time, she had called her parents and told them what was happening. At first, she believed it to be too quickly and too out of the blue, but Ruben was overjoyed to hear her voice. Soon, the two of them turned in for the night and Sam thought about her parents as she fell asleep. Indeed, the mysterious man showed up in her dream once more. He had Greg's banjo leaned up against his hip and he had one hand upon the post next to him.

“You have to be Alex,” she declared in a voice that felt so light she may as well have breathed it. “You have to be!”

“What have I said?” he asked her, and she fell silent, and she glanced around.

“What should I do?” she begged him. “What do you think I should do?”

“Bring it all home—you need to bring it all home.” And he reached over for a knock on the post next to him.

“What do you mean?”

“Bring it all home,” he repeated with another knock. “Bring it all home.”

She awoke right then, and that time to the sound of a knock on the door panel.

“Sam? You awake?” Marla!

She rubbed her eyes and inched towards the ladder down by her feet. Another few knocks.

“Sam? I told Joey right before we went to bed last night.”

“I'm coming, I'm coming,” she called out, “thank you, too.” Meanwhile, Belinda was still sound asleep in the bottom bunk. Sam hastily got dressed and then she and a still partially asleep Joey followed Marla back outside to the crisp, gray morning. Rain was upon them.

The three of them climbed into Charlie's rental car and drove out of the Bay Area and towards Sacramento. All the low grasslands made Sam think of upstate New York. It all felt like home to her, especially once they wound their way through the heart of the capitol city and came out the other side towards those mountains. It all felt like home and yet it all felt so quick. At least New York had vast stretches of forest before they even so much as saw the mountains.

“Wow,” Joey breathed out as they reached Donner Pass, which had a fresh blanket of snow once they reached the top.

“Yeah, I'll say,” Marla added, “thank you for being from this side of the country, Sam.”

“I still remember it well,” Sam declared. Within time, they wound through the mountains and they reached the northern side of Reno. She guided Marla to that neighborhood and it was right there, the butterflies emerged in her stomach. Besides Cliff and Frank, she never talked about her friends with her parents before, and she had good luck with the two of them. It was a total shot in the dark there with Joey because he was so different in comparison to the two of them. And there was Marla as well, with her dyed hair and having come fresh out of what appeared to be a picture perfect relationship with Charlie.

They turned the corner and Marla parked at the curb. Sam ran her fingers through her dark hair and she climbed out to the snow first. She led Joey and Marla up to the front step, and she knocked on the door panel first.

Silence, and then it swung open.

“There's my little girl!” Esmé greeted her with a big smile and open arms.

“Hi, Mom—”

“Oh, my god—I was just thinking about you and wondering when you'd show up.” Sam then turned to the side.

“This is my friend Marla,” she introduced her, “Marla from the Hell's Kitchen neighborhood of New York.”

“Fellow artist,” Marla filled in with an outstretched hand.

“Love a good artist,” Esmé said as she took her hand. “I love your hair, too.”

“Thank you! It's a regular thing with me to change up my hair.”

“What's going on?” Ruben called from behind her.

“Sam and her friend are here, hon.”

“Oh!” Ruben was eager to embrace Sam and shake Marla's hand, but Joey lingered back from them with his hands in his jacket pockets as if he didn't belong there.

“And this is Joey,” Sam introduced him, to which Ruben hesitated and Esmé's grin froze right in place. Joey bowed his head and hunched his shoulders a bit; Esmé had a bit of a twinkle in her eye at the sight of him.

“Oh, my,” she remarked, and a slight blush crossed her face.

“Joey from near the Syracuse area,” he filled in with that distinct accent.

“Love Syracuse,” Ruben said with a nod of the head.

“Well, come on in, kids,” Esmé encouraged them and a warm sheen covered her cheekbones and her forehead upon saying that. “Come on in and make yourselves at home.”

Once Joey had shut the door behind him and the three of them took off their boots, Esmé tapped on Sam's shoulder.

“Can I—have a word with you for a second?” she whispered to her, and Sam followed her into the kitchen so they were out of earshot.

“What's going on?”

“That—boy,” she said, and Sam could see the twinkle in her eye. “What do you know about him?”

“He's a—singer and a drummer, and a hockey player.”

“Oh, my.”

“Mom—what's going on?” Sam asked her, hesitant.

“He—He reminds me of a boy I used to know when I was your age,” Esmé began in a low voice, to which Sam shrugged.

“And?”

“He was a boy I was friends with when your father and I were dating, and—we actually hung out one night.”

“Honey?” Ruben called from the front of the house.

“Yes?” Esmé replied back with a tilt of her head. He said something, and then she raised a finger to Sam, who stood there baffled.

“Mom, what're you trying to tell me?” she demanded in a soft voice.

“I love your father very much, but there was another man, though,” she quipped in a low whisper. “Another man just like him and—I guess the feelings never went away, either. I'll tell you later.”

Esmé ducked around her and Sam bowed her head, and buried her face in her hands.

“Ugh, again?” she groaned in a muffled voice.

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octranslations · 6 years

Text

Haiiro no Ginka Volume 31

The Scream Horror Show Vol. 16

Die Blindly

die meisyodemeisyu

America? Germany? Japan? What I need to do is the same. I need to get more fired up!!!

As expected, LA weather is the best. The moment we left the airport, there was a, "This is Los Angeles!!" air. I heard that it only rains for a couple of days in LA. For person who hates rain like me, I think this is the best.

Me who can't write a major key song. When I hold my guitar, as expected I'd playminor keys. Will a day come when I would be able to strum a C chord without protest? If that time comes then I wonder what will I become? Will I become considerably HAPPY! HAPPY! or considerably weird? Well, it's okay if that day doesn't come.

Why is it like that? Why couldn't it be more like this? I wish different things from others but as expected, it's probably the enamored person's loss~

They say that "I don't lose control~"!? Well I will lose control more!

Piggy-kun! Thanks for coming all the way to TEXAS to see our live! Piggy D.& The Evacuation Plan, do your best! You have a good voice.

Recently I read a book which I haven't done in years. I read the one called "Tokyo Tower" by Lily Franky. It was great. Well, try reading it. It's because you'd want to become a filial/dutiful child.

SEX, DRUG, ROCK'N'ROLL???BIKE???TATTOO???and? "Isn't ROCK, XXXX? That's why ROCK is XXXX~ that's why my ROCK soul is XXxx..."???There is a person like this.

XX-san, you were only 36. Why did you die. You shouldn't have died. You never said anything to me but I knew that you secretly you checked my band and also bought our CD. I am really grateful. From now on please watch over us from above. I still have a lot of things that I need to do.

I remember now! Was it last year!? I drank too much and didn't have a memory of the day before, when I woke up in the morning my head hurt more than usual. My "temple" especially hurt! When I asked my friend, apparently Kaoru-kun and I got into a passionate/heated conversation and both of us were drunk and gave each other a "Toukon (Fighting Spirit?Slap"??? Speaking of which, Kaoru-kun had a big ring on his right hand (laughs) (Sorry. I also had 3 rings in my right pinky finger.)

When I see a person's good side, that's when I have a good time. When I constantly a person's bad side, that's when I have a bad time.

I rode a bull in Los Angeles, I sort of became a cowboy but that bull was wild and bucked me off in the air. But it was kind of interesting.

Translator's Notes: The "Toukon Slap (??????" was popularized by Pro wrestler Antonio Inoki who slapped a student across the face knocking him down during one visit to a school in the 1980s because the student punched him twice. The student, who later turned out to be an Inoki fan, then rose, bowed deeply, and thanked Inoki for the slap. The incident became very famous as the then live clip of the binta (slap in the face) was shown many times on Japanese television. Now various celebrities and even common people in Japan ask Inoki to slap them to install courage or even as some sort of strange blessing. The slap's name is the "Fighting Spirit (or T?kon) Slap." (?????)

Shinya Dr. Nemu nemu no Daigyakusyu

Hello everyone. Nemunemu's corner has begun again. Since we recently went to America, this time I will write the journal about my time in America.

Nemunemu Journal ~America~

?March 16

I left the house early in the morning but in order to sleep on the airplane I stayed awake since the previous day. They were showing "Densha Otoko" on the airplane. And since the person who played the main character was the main character in the drama that I regularly watched, "Byakuyako", I thought that I must watch this movie and I immediately started watching the movie after take-off. I ate for around one hour and fell asleep. But since I didn't fully reclined my seat I was only able to sleep for only 7 hours. So I woke-up and watched the continuation of "Densha Otoko", during that time we arrived in Los Angeles. We had to transfer in order to go to Texas but we had 6 hours and we had nothing to do even if we were in the airport so we took a taxi and went to Santa Monica. When we arrived in Santa Monica, we immediately entered a restaurant and ate lobster. This lobster was the most delicious food that I ate during this American Tour. Then we properly walked around the town and killed time then returned to the airport and headed towards Texas. We waited for our luggages to come out at the Texas airport, finally when it came, Dr. Nemunemu's luggage's bottom-side was completely deformed. Anyway, if you push it with your hand it would go back to its normal shape but it was already beaten up so I thought that once I return to Japan I will have it sent for maintenance. Then we had a meeting at the hotel and I slept at around 2 in the morning.

?March 17

I woke up at 10 in the morning. Today is "SXSW" day. Since I was free until the interview in the evening, I spent my free time in my room. Then after the interview was finished we prepared for the live, when we arrived in the venue by car, the previous band had just finished. Since we only had 15 minutes to switch/changeover, Dr. Nemunemu went on the stage for setting my drums. Before that, I was told that, "The people in the venue today are all staff/authorized people so don't take notice of them and you can set your drums". When I went to the stage, I wonder why there were 4 rows of fans who were cheering while I set my drums. On top of it being already embarrassing, I was first informed on stage that the toms and cymbals were not enough, I did a rough setting while thinking, "America as expected" and retreated. Then the performance started, the monitor was chaotic/all messed up, the pedal was broken, the hi-hat was also broken but I was able to do a fun live. It was kind of nostalgic. Also this was my first live in a while so I was already woozy when the live ended. Then I went back to the hotel, took a shower and went out to get dinner but I didn't have an appetite and wasn't able to eat anything. The staff and I stayed there and drank until 7:30 in the morning

?March 18

Today we will travel to New York. I slept for around 3 hours, woke up at 11 am and got ready. By the time we arrived in New York, it was already dark, my seat was on the window side and the night view was beautiful. We checked-in in the hotel and immediately went to the supermarket in a car, I placed juice, snacks and cup ramen for those times when I am hungry in the middle of the night and lined up at the cashier. Then when Dr. Nemunemu's turn came and was going to check-out and place the basket at the cashier, and presto, the cup ramen that I thought that I placed in the basket was gone and in its place was a cold medicine. When I thought, "Huh!? That's weird? Was I half asleep!?", It was a prank by the evil combo, D-san and T-san who was behind me. Then we returned to the hotel and ate and I returned to my room. So I thought, "I can take a bath" and turned on the hot water tap in the bathtub. When I was writing my journal on the desk until the water accumulated and all of a sudden the bathwater overflowed and came all the way until inside of the room. I've often seen this in mangas in the past, I thought, "[I can't believe that] there's still bathtubs like these at this day and age!" while my feet were making squishy sounds, I went to the bathtub and stopped the hot water. Since the room was carpeted I've already given up on wiping it off but the bathroom sink area had about a 1 inch pool that even if I used all of the towels in the room it wouldn't have helped much. Since there was no drain on the outside of the bathtub, I thought about what was I going to do with the water accumulated in the bathroom sink area. In the end I used the cup in the bathroom sink and slowly scooped the water and drain in the bathroom sink, I did this for around one hour. Finally by the time the water was gone it was already 3 in the morning. Then my parents called me on my cellphone. Well Nemunemu was in America so this was a phone call to check if I was doing okay but I was surprised with the words, "I properly calculated the time difference and thought that its 10 in the evening over there so I thought that you've returned to the room that's why I called"

?March 19

Today was a free day so I went sightseeing around New York. Actually Dr. Nemunemu went to New York on a private trip for 2 weeks at the end of the year last year. At that time I bought several magic tricks at a magic shop. Then the magician who sold me the magic tricks taught me how to perform it in the shop. But since I bought several tricks I forgot the procedure of one trick. That's why I brought that magic trick along with me from Japan and I went to the same magic shop in order for them to teach that trick to me again. The magician in the shop was different from the previous one but I somehow was able to communicate that in English. But as expected English is difficult. For example, when communicating something like, "the magician who was here before when he lowered his hand, his other hand turned over a bundle of cards and suddenly a glass/mirror appeared, do you know how to do that?", while combining gestures I think I was able to communicate it, but of course I wanted to say it simply. Then he taught me the trick without any problems, and I also bought other magic tricks that he recommended. I ate dinner and when I returned to the hotel, I was overcome with drowsiness so I immediately fell asleep.

?March 20

Today was interview day. The interview was going to be held at the American Company "Concrete"'s office. The first interview finished without any problems. The second interview was cancelled so we had around one hour free. The third interview was an interview that will be filmed while they interviewed us. But due to the screen size, there was a problem and in the end the interview was rescheduled before the main performance tomorrow. The fourth interview was a telephone interview, the writer, without coming to the interview venue will interview us using the telephone speaker phone. That's it for today's interviews. In the end the only one that properly came was the 1st interview. After that we and the staff from Concrete went out to eat, after eating we transferred to the pool bar in the basement of the same place and drank. Then immediately I presented the magic trick that the magician taught me yesterday to the different American staff, and they took it quite well. Then somehow everyone got absorbed in baseball. Dr. Nemunemu wasn't completely interested in baseball so I didn't really watched it but it seems that Japan is the number one in the world. If it were that kind a great match then I think that it would have been better if I sort of watched it.

?March 21 Today was a live in New York. The venue was a revamped church and was building with quite an atmosphere. When I was setting my drums on stage, since I heard from somewhere that "the interview will start in 10 minutes", Dr. Nemunemu thought of returning to the backstage but the building's structure was complicated and without completely being able to return to a place you can get to in one minute, it took me around 10 minutes. Even though I was in a rush to return backstage the interview hasn't even started. Since the previous live was difficult, this live was so-so okay.

?March 22

We transferred to Los Angeles. After arriving in Los Angeles and checking in the hotel, I went to Melrose. The last time I went to Melrose was during the recording when we debuted so it was nostalgic. I idled around for around 2 hours and returned to the hotel and ate at the restaurant in front of the hotel. This restaurant's specialty is the rodeo. It's an attraction where you ride a wild bull device and grab on to the reins and try not to be bucked off it. I thought that I definitely didn't want to ride this. After a while the staff team gradually did it, and everyone was thrown off. This is different from the diet machine "Rodeo Cowboy" that is sold a lot in catalogs. Somehow I wonder how Dr. Nemunemu ended up having to ride it. A person can ride up until 2 times, first of all on the first try, as expected I was thrown off. Then on the second try, and what's this, I was able to ride until the end without being thrown off. Since there weren't a lot of people who can ride it, the moment I was able to ride it to the end, there were a lot of cheers. Even when I was returning to our table from the rodeo area, different people were calling out, I sort of felt like a hero and this is Dr. Nemunemu who is fairly pleased with himself.

?March 23

Today was a live in Los Angeles. The venue was spacious and beautiful. The sound coming from the drum monitor was also good and rehearsal felt great. The actual performance was on the contrary it was difficult to play since the sound was too good???. After the live I was tired but in order sleep soundly in the airplane on the way home tomorrow, I was awake in the staff's room. Even if I was groggy I desperately stayed awake until our departure.

?March 24

The moment I sat on my seat in the airplane, I conked out. Before I knew it we've already taken off. So I removed my contact lenses, fully reclined my seat to full flat, covered myself with a blanket, made it completely dark, completely went into sleep posture and then went to sleep. Thanks to that when I woke up it was already 30 minutes before landing, I fell soundly asleep for 12 hours without eating food.

So. America was like this and safely ended without any strange incident. Well then I will leave it at this. Let's meet again next time.

Aibiki no Mori This may be sudden but my wisdom teeth were taken out the other day. Even if I say this it was only one side, the other side is still left...this is again pretty scary. What is scary is there was no pain during the surgery but the world with only sound with my eyes blindfolded on the contrary sharpened my nerves, and I am afraid of my own imagination. The anesthesia made a "sakusakusaku" (scrunch) sound as it was drawn in the injection then around 6 places were injected/stabbed then the meat/gums were cut by a scalpel then the wisdom teeth that grew sideways would be cut into 2 then taken out...it's pretty scary, right (laughs) But! The fear that I experienced was nothing like this!

In the first place, I am having my wisdom teeth removed because actually I am getting my teeth fixed! I've thought for a while of having my poor teeth, which were originally crooked and have become damaged due to my youthful folly, to be reborn/rejuvenated again (laughs) In fact I also thought of things like improving my biteline (jawline), increasing the instantaneous force and concentration~ like a sports athlete. So, I've been going to the dentist for 1 year to get my teeth fixed. Steadily tookd time with things like cavities and various other things and finally I've come to this. So, the surgery before they install the device was the scariest! I did a surgery that will embed a thing called an implant each on both sides of my upper gums and anchor the device...this was cool!! What is cool is the procedure of the surgery is cool!

The implant is a 2?3cm rod with the tip like a shuriken attached to it, then it will make a hole in between my lip and gums and will be thrust until my cheekbones and will anchor the device....that kind of surgery! What do you think, even just listening to it is scary, right (laughs) I actually did this...I'm cool! I shouldn't praise myself! It's because I was a child raised on compliments (laughs) Well, let's leave that and return to the surgery, I also had my eyes blindfolded and isn't there an instrument that keeps your mouth open! That PV... where Manson (Marilyn Manson) had it placed in his mouth and his gums were exposed, he couldn't close his mouth right? That was placed in my mouth during the surgery, I've never had my lips opened that wide so it hurt quite a lot.

So, I was injected with anesthesia made a "sakusakusaku" (scrunch) as it was injected and once the area numbed, the area between the lip and gums were cut opened with a scalpel, a hole was made by something that looked like a drill, and inside that hole, the implant was driven in...well, I don't know if it's correct since my eyes were actually closed but just listening to the sound so I guess that's what happened (laughs) That drill was bad! My skull was shaking and I knew that there was blood spatteringaaround my mouth. They did both left and right...it was pretty much hell. Furthermore, during my surgery during the latter part, the numbness wore off and I was pretty tired. When the numbess wore off, it HURT~! But I was embarrassed and couldn't say it and thought that it was uncool so I desperately endured it. But in my head/heart I was begging, "Please finish faster~!" (laughs) So the surgery ended without any complications and I went home but from that night was hell. My face became swollen like Anpanman and didn't return to normal for a week (wry smile) It pretty much sucked. Furthermore after 3 years the teeth correction would end but they would have to do another surgery to take out the implant...it's a repeat of the nightmare. After attaching the braces, the instrument would cut the inside of my mouth since this will realign my teeth, then it will move the teeth so involuntary pain will follow. This is fighting spirit and sheer determination! If you don't take care of your teeth, then it will become worse later so guys who have cavities it's better to have that fixed early! It's because a cavity in the wisdom tooth is the worst.

Changing the topic, some time ago, an acquaintance showed me the picture that was uploaded online....I have such an awful/terrible face (wry laugh) I laughed without thinking. It was my cranky face when I've just woken up~but I looked ugly (laughs) That face can make a 100 year love cold. Oh no~for that to be exposed, I am sorry! Well, that's also me so please forgive me (laughs) But, there was a person who did something horrible. What I saw was the one with us 5 members seated with a girl wearing glasses in the middle...the girl was a magazine writer, and at the end of the interview as a remembrance we took one picture which everyone gladly received...but I was very disappointed. For her personal memory, we even accepted to take a photo with feelings of sincerity and appreciation. I hope that all the people involved with the foreign media aren't like this heartless person. If not, then we wouldn't know what to believe...and wouldn't know how to communicate those thought.

--Well, the CD I will introduce this U2's WAR which was unfortunately played at their JAPAN LIVE after a long time. Well, I think that explaining or introducing it now is useless (laughs) For me, this is an ALBUM that evokes a lot of passion even when I listen to this now. Amazing songs like Sunday Bloody Sunday and New Year's Day are included. I wanted to see U2. Well next...personally this is also memorable, this is a BAND that I like very much. Gipsy Kings' "The Very Best Of Gipsy Kings". This album, even if its pretty recent...the songs were released years ago. Their songs are often used in commercials so probably you may have heard of it once. The genre is Spanish/Latin! Their signature songs and covers are included in this ALBUM. Their covers are cool/austere! The Spanish versions of My Way and Hotel California! And my favorite song, Inspiration, finishes the ALBUM! This is one song that has memories of me listening together with my band mates back when I was a student (laughs) Spanish/Latin [music] is the best!

Well, this time is until here! See you next time!!

Translator's Notes: 1. Toshiya refers to dental implants or TAD (temporary anchorage devices) which is a miniature screw that orthodontists position in the mouth. It serves as an anchor for moving specific teeth in the most controlled and predictable way possible. TADs are made of a sterile medical-grade titanium alloy. They eliminate cumbersome appliances (e.g., headgear) and allow orthodontists to treat certain cases better and faster. http://www.showmesmiles.com/adulttreatment.asp

2. For the curious, Toshiya may be referring to this picture (http://s267.photobucket.com/albums/ii286/HelloxHelicopter/Diru/?action=view&current=ericadirengreybig5ad.jpg)

3. Anpanman is popular children's anime character

Gansonaki Kaoru-ya

Is everyone doing okay? This is Kaoru who hasn't caught a cold at all this winter. By the time this [newsletter] will arrive we'd have returned from Germany, right now as I am writing this, Dir en grey is busily creating songs. By the time we noticed this and that, this year's schedule was tightly filled so we are focusing on pre-production. The only thing left is the single's recording mix...probably.

Around one month before it was officially decided, and we did a hurried American tour but I think we were able to get a good experience. There were good encounters and we were also able to reunite with people we haven't met in a long time, and was the first time they went to watch our live. And above all, I was honestly surprised that this much people gathered in the live for us. We didn't have much time to enjoy the cities in America to our hearts content but it was a TOUR where we were able to feel the passion/warmth of staff who were working for us and also the fans.

Let's kick some ass this summer! Speaking of summer, this year is at the Nippon Budoukan. Anyway look forward to both days! Well, even if the venue is large, nothing would change with how we do lives but I really feel that the current Dir en grey is moving everyday with a record high of good tension. That's why I really would like for everyone to please come. Well I will again mess around with songs so this may be short but I'll leave it at this, bye. See you again!

TOOL's new song, they were able to do something fierce/terrific, it booms on my most favorite zone! I'm looking forward to RaR and RiP

#haiiro no ginka

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