S5 Ep 42 Pt 2: We are All Warhammer Minis
Last we left off, Bakura just reminded Yami that he did, in fact, invite him to play a Shadow game, and then Yami just kinda never realized the game had started. Yami was warned, Bakura explains, It’s not like he wasn’t told exactly what would happen.
Which is a weird ass thing to say, when it like involved Bakura crashing Yami’s funeral.
Like Yami was supposed to DIE in that tomb, right? Like he was gonna find peace and happiness and then peace the hell out of Yugi’s haunted bean. But instead of perma-dying, he’s freakin stuck here. With Bakura. For the end of his days. His very worst frenemy. The ultimate trap. What a weird way to hang out with Bakura, getting trapped like this.
It is interesting how the Alexander the Great arc actually does play into this arc. Shada did make a model of the past for them to fight in, and now Bakura’s doing the same except way more dramatic because unfortunately it alters history.
(read more under the cut)
Don’t think too much about what would even happen to Yugi and friends if you damage or move anything from 5000 years ago. Like I’m pretty sure you can knock over a few cans of ancient Egyptian paint and just Greece would have ceased to exist. That’s how tenuous changing the past seems to me, if I have learned anything from Twilight Zone.
The fact that without Yugi existing in the future, would mean Yami would not have been able to alter the past: don’t think about that. Shadow Realm means we don’t think about that. Shadow Realm does what it pleases.
That or this show is going to split off into hundreds of multiverses just like Marvel and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.
Also, we are informed that the rainbow filter is not so much of a Aknadin technique as it is a Bakura’s busted hourglasses technique.
Also it took me 2 watches of this episode, making the caps, editing this out, to realize that he has the hourglass sideways. The three hourglasses are just hourglasses in three directions, sand going down, sand going up, or sand staying still. Holy crap, y’all, long covid: my brain took way too long to realize that.
But we got there!
Did I go “wtf” when Joey was like “ah, I could get used to this!” Yes, yes I did.
At that point, Zorc shows up to give Aknadin a wish, I guess. Like a genie.
And then he was immediately doused in purple gatorade.
You may be wondering “hey, but I thought you can’t make Zorc because Yami locked Zorc away when he lost his own damn name” and don’t worry, Bakura already thought about that.
I guess the function of the last hourglass is “I put a gun to the plot and told it to step forward or I swear to Gods, I will shoot.” He can bend future time one single time at his will, and waited this long to use it. Probably because youknow, it’s Bakura, he’s not going to choose any time to do this but the very rudest time to do so.
Back at Casa Pharaoh, Tristan has made it to the chamber of legs. Notice how Yami’s Dad is the only guy who was like “Hell no, I’m not shaving for my portrait, just draw me in a robe.” Just like me every time I decide to wear tights with a skirt.
Turns out that yes, Yami deleted his own name just everywhere. The curse he got cursed with was very effective.
And back at Aknadin and his awkward family reunion, Seto is kind of over having a family and it’s only been like less than a minute of having one.
No, they did not have a moment of “Wait! Yami is my cousin???” which like, asking your Son to kill his cousin sure is moment. Also the moment of realizing your cousin is 2 feet shorter than you and trying to figure out how that works.
And now, Seto’s Dad looks like this guy:
It’s a look. It’s a card somewhere.
So, in a moment that was hard to cap, Aknadin decided to blast everyone in the face with a plasma beam, and out of the clouds comes Hassad, here to block to blows and take a fireball the chest, like a trooper.
Now if you don’t remember Hassad, he was a hallucination that Pharaoh had in the cave before he saw himself as a literal baby and was like “yikes” and left the cave. Turns out, Hassad is the protector of the Pharaohs, and is finally here to do his damn job.
After Yami, uh, already died once, but youknow what? Better late than never, Hassad!
But unfortunately, this means we’re back at square one, that’s right, it’s time to duel again!
But like, next episode. don’t worry. It’s next episode.
phew.
Like seriously Yugi has done more damage to planet earth than most anime children. Power to him.
And then as I was capping I realized something about Dartz, and I said “I’ll find a way to organically fit this into the commentary” and maybe if I had a better brain I would have done that. Instead, an aside about Dartz’s season that I keep thinking about this season with Bakura.
Because never forget Dartz walked into Cairo, saw Yami, and was like “neat, I’m gonna steal his power” and then saw Bakura and then immediately turned around. When like, this is all that Bakura does.
This leaves so many questions about Bakura and who he was before he was possessed by the spirit of the ring, and when he got possessed by the ring, since he was supposed to be in prison right? So...that was one pissed off prisoner to just have VIBES that were enough to throw off Dartz.
Anyway, that’s all for now, as per usual, here is the link to read these from the beginning, if you so desire. I know my update schedule is so slow atm, but my backlog is pretty freakin strong at this point so there’s more, if you’re new here:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
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I’m imagining a Yu-Gi-Oh reboot with narrative amendments again. And now that my qpp’s seen all of Duel Monsters, I can finally post this without spoiling anything for her, but that also means I saw there were sections I forgot about. There’s plenty of other well-said critiques about Memory World, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the author himself had similar critiques, considering his health’s impact on his mental presence at the time and vice versa, so I just wanna talk about the Millennium Rod.
It’s kind of odd that we got a Dark Marik but not a Dark Kaiba, right? But what if we did and it was just misattributed?
Before more lore was canon, there was an early game in which Kaiba was possessed by the Millennium Ring; and originally, Priest Set was intended to be King Atemu’s other serious challenger besides Zorc. So what if instead of leaning into a DID stereotype, Dark Marik was more like the other two sealed souls associated with Millennium Items? I mean, he does have the eye sigil literally the entire time he’s active. That could’ve actually been Aknadin/the High Priest of Darkness from when he tried to possess Set, or there could’ve been a subplot there about Zorc affecting Set directly and that influence being sealed into the Rod, only it didn’t have sentience separate from Zorc until the Rod responded to Marik’s raw anger. Marik and Bakura have both used Millennium powers to implant themselves in secondary hosts, it’s been established before that Millennium entities can reach out remotely to a varying extent, and in season zero, Zorc’s battle injuries could grow into new minions.
Actually, Seto and Marik have a lot in common aside from an acquired taste for blood and theatrics (Seto may be anti-military in this life but in his past life he was well on his way down a path of police brutality). Both of them are inseparable from a brother who keeps them comparatively sane just by being there for them, but whom also part-time at their conscience. For either of them and their respective brother, at least one of them was adopted by the oppressive father who made both their childhoods so traumatic, and the fathers tried forcing their sons into their own dark family legacies while maintaining total control over them, which ultimately cost them their lives when their heirs did take over. And maybe it’s just that they’re wearing similar clothing, but Marik’s father does kind of look like Priest Set’s birth father.
This may fall into headcanon, but it’s also one of the amendments I’d like to see if Duel Monsters were to get a fix-it relaunch. It wouldn’t make any continuity errors I can think of up until Memory World, but it could also recontextualize some preceding details.
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S5 Ep 37 Pt 2: Everything in Yugioh Was Caused by Yami’s Weird Uncle.
So straight up, I forgot where I stored all the files for this episode because I got really sleepy and then zoned out. But, I’ve found the file (and if you saw my desktop, you’d understand) and I had a little bit of hot cocoa to caffeine up, lets post like old times because I have GOT to talk about Yami’s weird Uncle.
So in the last little recap, Bakura decided to rip out Aknadin’s golden eyeball, and then Seto shoved Aknadin under a mosquito net for him to recover, and Aknadin’s been having vivid memories of 15 years ago when everything went to hell.
And like guys here’s the thing...
This Aknadin isn’t freakin real, this Aknadin never happened, we’re not in the past. We are in Pharaoh’s weird puzzle space made out of his memories.
Like don’t think about it, but Pharaoh’s memories have their own independant memories that exist without him knowing about it.
In Inception terms we are like so many inceptions deep, because it’s Yugi’s brain, housing the puzzle, which houses Yami, and we’re inside of Yami’s memories which have their own flashback sequence.
I just counted that and we’re 5 dreams deep now, give or take depending on if you count the puzzle as a dream, which like I dunno, I try not to think about it that hard.
But whether or not this can physically be possible for Aknadin to dream, it does help out the writing team give us backstory that Yami would never otherwise know.
First off, we get a better look at Yami’s Dad.
So Yami would look like this if he was allowed to grow up? I don’t like that thought.
(read more under the cut)
Anyway, Aknadin is having a chat with his brother about how they have this spellbook that tells them how to get this ultimate power that will help them fight off some invaders from the North. I’m assuming that this is the show subtly hinting that this is the time period right when the Dynasties started, and Egypt was unified as one whole country (ish) for the first time, and I love the audacity of the show to say “and it all happened because of cards.”
Also if we have heard about this spellbook before now I...do not recall it. Where does it come from? Don’t worry about it. Maybe that’s a spinoff for later, I dunno. It has a wacky cover though.
mmmmm that’s a book, all right.
Bro was telling me that this is also technically a millennium item. Which like...sure? Hell knows where it is now, though. Maybe Shadi threw it in Pegasus’ basement.
But Aknadin assures his brother it won’t end the world (multiple times) so they decide against their better interest to dive right in.
And then Aknadin just starts acting unhinged. First off, he decides to divorce his family while on the back of a horse, which makes it seem like a drive-by divorce.
Man this poor animator not only had to draw so many horses, but also drew probably the only time in children’s cinema that someone got divorced on horseback.
Like Maybe Seto was a bastard child and Aknadin’s wife was actually a secret lover? But like...He’s talking about how Seto has a right to the throne later which means they had to have had a real marriage, right?
And that’s how Seto became an Orphan. The first time. Of SEVERAL times.
And like it was wrong of him to make his family forget him (Nice that Seto got mindwiped when he was like 3 or 4 years old. That’s right on the money for Seto’s normal well being, he loves getting mind-wiped) but also Seto would have judged this guy so freakin hard. Seto is like the judgiest guy on planet Earth, so imagine how freakin judgy his mom was.
Anyway, welcome to Kel Elna (which I have no idea how to spell), the den of sin (which looks like basically any other random place in ancient Egypt, except not yet on fire.)
Ah, first Bakura. To think he kept that haircut for 5000 years.
He was probably looking at some violence but most of that got edited by the dub, I assume. Thanks 4kids.
So in a series of close ups that are hard to cap, Aknadin forges a bunch of items out of gold, taking them out of their mold and being like. Well huh.
Who is this red head to the left of him ps? Like it’s a red scene, so maybe it’s just the lighting but like...what’s King Arthur doing in ancient Egpyt?
Anyway, the ground exploded.
And out of the massive hole in the ground was a brand new tablet to screw them over, that game of Operation so dangerous it ends the world.
And again, we’ve seen this before. Shadi brought Pegasus to this thing in S1 (2?) so straight up...did Shadi bring Pegasus to Kel Elna? Like is it just a normal ass city now that happens to have a curse under it? I doubt they thought that far ahead but youknow...this thing seems to get moved around a bit.
(no I did not go down a youtube rabbit hole of some Australian chick opening up mystery molds she got off gumroad that were each more terrible than the last. Like just the worst ceramics molds I’ve ever seen of baby bears, mushroom people, and kitchy ass 60′s minivans, and I’m glad those molds found the one person who could appreciate them.)
One sec.
So...I looked up Yugioh ceramic molds expecting there to be 5 zillion and there are zero. I’m kinda shook by that. Either the DMCA takedowns for 4kids are insane (which they are) or just no one has ever done this. Wild. There are a lot of Pot of Greeds sold officially, but as a slip casting mold? Nah. Aknadin used them all up, rude.
So this big ol purple guy, who we’ve seen a few times at this point, picks up Aknadin like a little corn husk doll and is like “Don’t, man.”
Cuz apparently, when you make the items, and it also makes a monster that lives in this ring(necklace)? I mean I’ll roll with it but also, seems like there’s so many ways to end the world at this point, yeah, lets add this monster on top of it, sure.
So Aknadin is like “can’t take it if it’s attached to my face.” just like a kid who stuffs the last piece of pizza in his entire mouth so he won’t have to share.
I will hand it to this guy, he barely flinched. He is carrying the puzzle, which would have been a lot less painful and more powerful, but decided to not use it. Probably because he knew that there’s a chance he’d have to haunt a high schooler 5000 years later which like...no thanks, he’d rather lose an eye.
And then he starts the hot potato of people stealing this ring throughout the centuries, as the first guy to think “surely this thing won’t kill my entire ass.”
Bro finally got it, he finally got his headcanon confirmed that some guy ate some guy in Egypt.
I really like these stand ins that are like off-brand Ishizu, Seto, Odion, and Mahad, by the way.
So like...from here on out Aknadin’s hair is white and he’s got this hooded snuggie thing going...does ANYONE remember that he’s the king’s brother at this point? Or is he pretending to be poor?
Like how deep did the memory loss go on forgetting Seto? Because everyone would have to forget right?
So straight up what is the point of the rest of these dudes if you have a fully assembled Exodia? there is none, right?
Also is that a baby slither? I don’t recognize any of these creatures tbh, they’re not in my car deck.
(since this is like an ancient time army, I guessed 1000 casualties, but I’m not a historian, so if anyone knows a better number of a 5000 year old war, let me know)
Anyway, just when Aknadin thinks everything’s good and he’s adjusted to being not a dad, his Son shows up.
Many historians theorize that Ancient Egypt didn’t really “use” the wheel because of all the sand everywhere, so most of peasant math class must have been about triangles and that’s it. Don’t even have to worry about pi.
Hey guys...how amazing is the education system in ancient Egypt, that Seto’s entire city was burnt to the ground, he was left penniless and family-less, and now he’s at Egyptian Harvard? Like I feel like we missed a couple of steps, or Seto just stole this outfit and is lying out of his ass. And I don’t know which Seto’s doing, he’s fully capable of doing both.
Seto’s borked timeline yet again, either Pharaoh is like 10 years younger than both Seto and Bakura in the past, or no one is ever drawn to their age.
Anyway, that’s when Aknadin wakes up and decides “Time to murder Yami!”
And just like that, Weird Uncle is ...Eviller. He was already pretty damn evil, but now he’s like in the mood to murder the wrong people...which he did before anyway.
He’s never been good really, and it feels like this could have been easily prevented by Yami saying “Listen I’m the Pharaoh, and this won’t make sense, but Seto, you murdered me in another timeline, so I’m gonna have to put you on house arrest. I know it’s harsh, but it’s about some time someone actually did it, you have done so MANY crimes.” But like...
...no one’s ever gonna arrest Seto Kaiba, they’re just so weirdly attached to him.
Anyway, back in the modern plot, Bakura and Yami are playing cards on horseback in skirts.
You are not allowed to look at the goiter on this horse’s neck. This artist is doing their best.
In the actual show, Tristan said “those are definitely not holograms!” and then there was a pregnant pause, and Yugi was like “...yep.”
And so Bakura is like “If you don’t give me your puzzle, I’m gonna murder everyone in the city!” And Yami, forgetting none of this is real does a weird little slight of hand trick.
Like it must be exhausting when both of you are a trickster god with a lot of the same tricks. Just like having 2 Lokis, except this is a version where they don’t date eachother (depending on your fanfiction.)
But Yami is saved by uh...this guy? I don’t know what this monster is called.
And then the whole gang is here.
That’s too many horses, fam.
Anyway, next episode we get to see Seto talk about his Daddy issues again. Funny how in a season that’s about Yami dealing with his Daddy issues, Seto’s Daddy issues still managed to take front seat.
and here is the link to read them from the beginning.
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
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