#AND I TURN ON THE TV AND LO AND BEHOLD SHES FUCKING DEAD
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queen of hearts // chapter nine
summary : y/n y/l/n was crushed when she found out about maeve donovan. heartbroken, she left her entire life behind. what happens when she becomes the most prolific serial killer the bau has ever seen?
series masterlist + taglist
content warnings : murder, gunshots, death, sexual harassment, angst (lots of it)
a/n : reader is a psychotic murderer. this is purely a work of fiction and if you or someone you know are experiencing homicidal urges, seek professional help immediately.
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You did it.
Wow.
You got you and your baby out of that shithole and you're on the run. The news and the FBI plastered your face everywhere so of course you changed your appearance as best as you could. Can't really hide a 7 month baby bump though, can you? You make your way to an empty road and stick your thumb out to hitchhike. A woman with strawberry blonde hair stops, letting you into her worn out green truck.
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"Thank you so much!" you exclaim, getting into the truck. Thump. Your heart could jump right out of your chest. All it takes is one headline, one picture and she'll turn you in.
"Make yourself comfy, sweetie," she gives you a warm smile. "I'm Maggie. Where you headed?"
"I'm Lucy," you lie. "Anywhere but here. As far as you can take me, please."
"What's got you running? If you don't mind me asking."
"Let's just say I got away from a very bad place." you whisper. It's not a lie.
Maggie nods sympathetically and goes to turn on the radio.
"No!" you clearly startle her, filling you with guilt. "I- I'm sorry, I'd just prefer silence right now."
"Don't worry about it, Lucy. I know what it's like to be in a bad situation, I know all too well." She says sadly. "I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, you just sit tight."
Maggie's words give you a sense of comfort, her kindness sets you slightly at ease. It'd fucking suck to have to kill her, you think. After what seems like few hours, you wake up to see her pumping gas into the truck. She enters the store, telling you she's been craving some licorice and she'll be right back. You're not heartless, you don't want to hurt this sweet woman. So, as anyone would do, you knock out the only other person around with one swift swing of a bat you found in Maggie's truck. Getting into the car, you hotwire it while the man you hit groans on the ground, bleeding. Red stains his shirt and your heart races. It's been a long time since you've done anything like this. Shit, shit, shit. You see Maggie at the cash register, paying. Lucky for you, the talkative woman gives you time by conversing with the cashier. Spark. Got it. Taking one last glance, you see Maggie drop her bag and gasp, whipping her head to look at you. There's a fucking TV in the gas station and guess who's face is on it? You back up the van and wince at the sound of the man's bones cracking paired with his agonized scream. Now or never. Hitting the pedal, you floor it.
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You stop to breathe for a moment, parking outside of a shitty looking motel. The neon sign is broken so it reads Mot l. You open the trunk of the car you stole to look for anything useful. How lucky, you think. A small, silver handgun is tucked away underneath a plaid knit blanket. Where are the bullets? Must be in the front. Getting into the car and searching the glove compartment, you locate the ammo.
"Goddamn, if that isn't one hell of an ass." A gruff voice behind you whistles. Ignoring him, what he says next makes your heart burst into fear. Thump. "Be careful lovely lady. Heard there's a killer running around. I'll keep you safe though." You feel a hand make its way onto your back slowly and you turn yourself on your back.
"Fuck off." you growl. Click. Gun loaded. Pointing it at the man's now petrified face, you smirk.
"I-I'm sorry!" he spits out.
"No, you aren't honey." Bang. His body hits the ground with a thud and the familiar metallic taste of blood splatters your face. A steady hand wipes away the remains from your eyes and you exit the car, as calmly as you can manage.
"I'd like a room please." The motel owner stares at you, astonished. At the blood or because he recognizes you? Either one isn't good. This wasn't a good decision-- at all. Thump. A shriek from the parking lot distracts you momentarily and the owner takes a laptop and hits you over the head.
"What the fuck?" you grumble. The dumbass didn't even draw blood. With a quick flash, you shoot him too. This whole thing is getting tiring. Fuck, fuck. How the fuck? you wonder, pissed off as you hear sirens. Did the source of the shriek really call the cops that fast? Or were you in such a haze that you can't even think straight, let alone keep track of time. Oh, fuck me. Three black SUVs are with the swarm of police cars. SUVs that you recognize without a doubt as the FBI. Thump. No negotiations this time, no bullshit.
You exit the motel with the gun in your hand. Red and blue lights make you squint and illuminate your figure in the dead of night. Getting a good look at the imagie in front of you, you laugh. Lo and behold, the BAU.
"I'm sorry." you say, just loud enough for everyone to hear before pointing the gun at Spencer Reid.
Bang. Thump. The sharp pain shoots through your chest and you hear a scream. Your head hits the ground and your entire body gives out.
"Y/N!"
You laugh, spitting up raspy strings of red as you do. Suddenly, your head is being cradled and you're being frantically whispered to and yelled about.
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"Medic! We need a medic!"
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"N-Nice turnout, isn't it?" You cough violently.
"Shh, don't talk Y/N. Please." He strokes your hair as the EMTs load you into the ambulance.
"S-Spence," you call out, barely able to stay conscious.
"What is it sweetheart?"
"Take care of my b-baby for me," another horrible cough escapes you. "Give her the best life you can, t-tell her..."
"Miss Y/L/N, hurry it up, we need to get you into surgery."
"Tell her that her mother loves her, even if I'm not around."
Spencer's eyes flood with tears, they spill out onto his cheeks as he watches the ambulance drive away. Then it hits him. Her. He's having a baby girl.
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SPENCER'S POV - E.R.
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Hours pass with still no update on Y/N's condition. Most of team has gone home, waiting on call. I don't blame them. I'm the only one still here for Y/N. I feel helpless, like my head is underwater and I'm about to drown. Guilty, so guilty that I still love her. Angry. She's the one who was shot yet the anguish I feel is so fucking deep that it's as if knives are stabbing at my lungs.
"Y/N Y/L/N?" I stand up so quickly I think I might fall over.
"Yes I'm her b--" he stops himself. "I'm Doctor Reid with the FBI, h-how is she?"
"No loved ones here for her? I heard she killed some people but damn."
"Is she stable or not?" I snap, regretting it immediately upon seeing her reaction.
And then she speaks.
"The bullets severed 3 major arteries."
No. They saved her. They have to have saved her.
"Y/N didn't make it."
Everything stops. It feels like my limbs and head weigh a ton. Everything's heavy. My breathing becomes less and less effective, disbelieving, tiring. All color in the room fades, leaving me in darkness. I feel weak and detached, chest clenching until I collapse into the chair behind me.
"Doctor Reid?" the surgeon questions softly.
I don't look at her. I stare at the wall across from me, unable to speak, unable to cry even. My mouth is dry and I feel broken.
"Doctor Reid, I need to know who the child of her father is. We were able to save her."
Thump. Thump. Exhale. I meet her eyes.
"Take me to my daughter please." I say low and as steady as I can without breaking down. The surgeon gives me an odd look, processing the information I've given before turning. I stop her.
"Wait..." I gulp heavily. "Can I see Y/N first?"
She nods, hesitantly.
"Right this way."
Y/N's body lays, peacefully. It should be comforting to know she wasn't scared when she died but I want her here with me. I take her cold, lifeless hand in mine and the tears finally leave me. I let out a loud cry and bring my face down to her stomach, resting and shaking on her skin.
"I'm so sorry," I cry to her body, unable to hear me. "I love-- loved you. I swear."
Sniffling painfully, I notice something in her bra. Leave it to Y/N to torture me even from the dead.
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"Dearest Spencer,
I think the way things played out were fitting. If you're reading this, I'm probably dead. Fucking creep, took a letter out of my dead body's bra. Kidding, kidding. Seriously though, give my baby a pretty name, will ya? I hope she gets your kindness, your strength. Everything that makes you you. Raise her to be everything we've ever dreamed of. You make sure she knows I love her, so much. Now quit being a pussy and wipe those tears, darling. We both know I deserved this. I love you, Spence and I forgive you. You got this babe.
Yours truly, Y/N."
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My heart is ripped out farther and farther with each word read. It gives me a sense of closure but the pain and turmoil doesn't go away. A life where Y/N isn't here with me isn't a life at all.
"Excuse me," I say blankly as if every emotion I'm feeling simply doesn't exist within me. "I'm done."
The woman guides and then leaves me alone with my child. I hold her in my arms and gasp lightly. She's small but perfect and she smiles at me, lighting my heart. She has Y/N's smile. The fire inside me lessens, being slightly soothed by the newborn in my arms. We'd spoken a few times about having children but I'd always thought she'd be here when the day came. I think about it for a second. I won't name her Y/N, that's much too cliche for Y/N's liking. She isn't the type to name a child without meaning.
"Ellie." I whisper.
Ellie. Meaning 'shining light'.
The light I already love.
The light that holds every piece of Y/N's story in her eyes.
The light that'll get me through this utter darkness.
My light.
Goodbye Y/N. I'll never forget you, the light and the love of my mortal life.
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#criminal minds#criminal minds self insert#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x y/n#criminal minds angst#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid angst#bau x reader
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“temptation”
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𖤐 - smut
☽ - angst
♡ - fluff
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𖤐 3,672 words
𖤐 warnings: hardcore/unprotected sex, swearing, 20 year age gap (harry’s 38 in this au)
𖤐 prompt 42/43:
“Make me.” / “Don’t tempt me.”
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Harry’s day started off the same as any other and would continue being as normal as it usually was, but today his daughter’s best friend Y/N was spending the night.
He had an inhuman hunger for that girl; he knew how wrong and inappropriate it was, but there was a part of him didn’t care at all. Y/N was built like a model, not those skinny ones you see on runways, a curvy model. Which made sense considering the 18 year old was Colombian. As Harry thought about the young woman’s body, and what he could do to it if he got the chance, his visions were cut short due to the sound of a door shutting. It was his daughter Iris and Y/N.
“Hey girls.” Harry greeted them both with a smile and threw a small wave their way. His posture changed from slouching on the couch to sitting up straight looking at the two ladies that stood not far from him.
Iris took a few steps towards her father, embracing him in a hug as well as pecking his cheek. The two had a very close relationship, she was always a daddy girl and nothing could change that.
“Hey papa. What’d you do today? I see you clearly didn’t get a haircut. I miss your buzzcut.” She smirked before letting out a laugh. Harry continued to tell his daughter he’d cut his long-ish hair but he simply couldn’t part with it; it was a part of his charm. He definitely was not letting her give him a buzzcut again.
“Hey, why don’t you concern yourself with your own hair you little shit head. Everyone loves my hair.” He said as he ran his fingers through the curly brown locks.
Iris shook her head before she went back over to Y/N who was still standing at the front door, waiting for her best friend to return to her side so the two could go up to Iris’s room. Y/N was so attracted to Harry it was unholy. Then again, who wouldn’t be? But it’s not like she could do anything about the fact because why would he get involved with an 18-year-old, who was also best friends with his daughter. Although the two did have an interesting relationship; that was for sure. It consisted of what seemed like hatred, but they were both just ultimately frustrated due to the fact that they can’t get what they both desperately wanted.
“Y/N, can you grab some drinks and some snacks while I go upstairs and get shit tidied up? My room’s a disaster.” Iris flashed her puppy dog eyes at her best friend which released a chuckle from the other female’s lips.
“Yeah, sure.”
Iris smiled and rushed up the stairs with both of the girls’ bags as Y/N passed Harry who watched her walk into the large kitchen that was the focal point of the home’s first floor. He got up from the couch and followed her, leaning against the kitchen’s marble island as she looked through the pantry and fridge, searching for some snacks as well as some drinks. He looked at her up and down, his eyes full of lust and longing before he licked his lips and rested his thumb on his chin. She turned around after getting that feeling that she was being watched, and lo and behold, she caught him checking her out. He tried to play it off but she raised her eyebrow at him and gave a slight smirk before she closed the fridge and placed two bottles of coke next to him, along with some Ritz crackers and cheese.
“Can I help you?” She asked, a glimmer in her eye and a ribbon of sarcasm lacing her tone of voice, the smirk staying plastered on her face. All she could think about right now was how she saw his jaw clench while he stared at her and how badly she wanted to be taken by him right there right now.
“Sadly not.”
He replied before walking away, his eyebrows furrowed as he felt his cock twitch in his sweatpants which caused him to groan quietly. The brunette went back to the couch, slouching once he sat, getting comfortable and covering his crotch with a pillow that previously rested on the empty spot next to him.
Y/N giggled quitely, biting her lip before she shook her head and snapped out of the perverted visions that wracked her brain. She grabbed everything she’d retrieved from the kitchen and started walking towards the staircase.
Once she got to the wooden stairs, she placed one foot on the first stair and looked back at the man on the couch before she winked at him then walked up the rest of the stairs.
‘Oh god what are you doing Y/N?!’ The young woman thought to herself as she made her way to Iris’s room.
Harry’s cock grew in that moment, watching her walk up the stairs after she basically just teased the shit out of him. He placed his hand on his mouth and grabbed the aching inches in his pants.
“Fuck Y/N, what are you doing? This isn’t a game.” He mumbled quietly as he then bit his finger, trying harder to muffle his words.
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Several hours had passed, which meant it was currently 12:35 am.
Harry was still lounging on the couch, watching Game of Thrones as he usually would. Voices from the television filled the room, although it wasn’t obnoxiously loud so that he wouldn’t bother the girls who were upstairs; doing whatever girls do.
The thought of Y/N hadn’t left the man’s mind and was driving him slightly insane. He couldn’t stop thinking about he wanted to teach her a lesson. As soon as he finished that thought, he heard light footsteps and saw a familiar figure, followed by a voice that he couldn’t handle hearing right now.
“Hey, can I come watch tv with you? Iris passed out while we were watching a movie and I’m not tired.”
‘Shit, no, please go back upstairs Y/N’ Harry thought before he turned his gaze to her, his eyes widening slightly when he realized what the female was wearing. A white tank top; with no bra underneath which made her nipples and the small balls of silver from her nipple piercings clearly visible, as well as a pair of very short shorts which barely covered her ass at all. To tie it all together, her beautiful dark brown hair was down and grazed her lower back. It was like Harry was being cursed and blessed at the same time.
“Yeah, feel free.”
He finally responded as he watched her walk over to the couch and planted her large ass on the spot next to him. He looked back at the tv, trying his best to keep his eyes off of the female next to him. A jolt of energy made its way to Harry’s cock, causing it to turn rock hard. The man quickly grabbed the pillow from earlier and covered himself before Y/N could notice. Little did he know that he was too late.
Y/N smirked and made a rather quick and probably stupid decision, but she was unbelievably horny so she decided to make a bold move, not thinking it through fully.
She moved the pillow from his lap, throwing it onto the floor before she got onto Harry’s lap, straddling him with her breasts flush against his chest. His hard-on poked her clit but she tried her hardest not to let out a moan.
“Why’re you hiding from me, huh?”
Harry chocked on his words before letting them escape his lips as a stern quiet-yell.
“What the actual fuck are you thinking, Y/N? We can’t do this, Lee’s right upstairs and you’re 18.”
“Exactly. I’m 18, meaning this is legal.”
“I’m her father, do you not understand that? I’m also 20 years older than you, you’re a child.”
“Age is just a number, Harry. Plus, you clearly need me, and probably have for a long time.”
Y/N giggled as she rubbed herself against the man’s aching cock. Harry clenched his jaw and quickly stood up, throwing her small body onto the couch before he crawled on top of her, his arms and hands next to her head as he held himself up to stare down at her. His aura was dark, so were his eyes which seemed to turn black instead of their usual green shade.
“Don’t tempt me. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
He stated before being silent for a moment just to look at her, then he continued.
“Go back upstairs, now.”
She let out a small squeak after she was placed in her current situation but she was enjoying every second of it and couldn’t help but to play along. Y/N then wrapped her arms around the man’s neck and brought his face closer to his before leaning in, whispering into his ear.
“Make me, daddy.”
She added the pet name at the end to rile him up even more, and god did it work.
He swallowed hard before he lifted her up, throwing her body over his shoulder and heading towards the basement which was where his bedroom was located. There was a bedroom next to Iris’s that could have been his but he turned it into a guest bedroom so that his daughter wouldn’t have to hear what went on when he had women over; it was perfect in this case. If Iris knew what was happening, he would be dead. Harry opened the door quickly but quietly, closing and locking it behind him. He made his way down the stairs and towards his bed and when he reached it he threw the female onto the duvet, causing her to release a small squeak, same to the one she let slip out earlier. Harry shirt was quickly removed from his body and thrown onto the floor somewhere. His large hands grabbed Y/N’s hips and brought them towards him as he flipped her so that her ass was facing up. The man quickly swatted at the plump mound in front of him, repeating the motion a few times while listening to Y/N whimper and moan at the same time. Harry proceeded to flip her back over and moved so that he hovered above her, grabbing her face with one hand and staring into her brown eyes.
“You’re a terrible friend, seducing your best friend’s father…”
He breathed out, removing his hand from her face and making his way to ravage her neck and finally claiming her as his. He continued to speak as he searched for her neck’s sweet spot.
“I’m going to give you the punishment that little sluts like you deserve.”
A moan escaped Y/N’s mouth as she tilted her head to the side, allowing Harry to get access to more of her neck which he was exploring quickly and roughly, leaving dark bruises all over the surface of her beige skin. These marks would need some serious explaining and made up cause if Iris happened to ask her about it. He soon lifted himself back to stare down at her before his large hands gripped the top of her white tank top, completely tearing the fabric and throwing it somewhere off to the side. Her double D sized breasts were revealed and her nipples hardened due to the sudden feeling of cold air that grazed them. Soon enough, the man’s tongue made its way to the small buds on her chest, releasing a louder moan from the female underneath his large body.
“Harry, s-stop teasing…”
She managed to breathe out as he nibbled on her perky nipples, disregarding what she was saying. He moved on from her nipples and decided to plant more bruises all over her beautiful breasts. She belonged to him in this moment, and soon enough, she wouldn’t want anyone else but him.
“You’ve been teasing me since the moment I first met you. Now it’s my turn to return the favor.”
He smirked proudly as he lowered himself planting kisses on her stomach and soon enough completely ridding her of her clothes once he tore her shorts off of her, preparing himself to tear off her panties but thankfully she wasn’t wearing any; causing his smirk and length to grow. He grabbed her legs and threw them over his shoulders and placed his mouth in front of her dripping cunt. Inhaling her sweet scent before he completely ravaged her. He blew air onto her clit which caused her to squirm before he brought her as close to him as possible.
“No no, you’re mine now.”
Harry then slowly started swirling his tongue on the female’s bud of nerves; soft moans filling the air. He increased his intensity and speed while also inserting a finger into her dripping hole. The man pulsed his finger into her, adding another finger after a few seconds. At this point, Y/N was a moaning mess. Her fingers tangled themselves in Harry’s hair, tugging at his beautifully tangled curls.
“Fuck, Harry!”
She exclaimed as he went to town on her heat for about 5 minutes before he realized she was going to cum any second, so he simply stopped his actions. Harry lifted his face from her as well as removed his soaking fingers, inserting them into his mouth and cleaning them with his tongue. The female stared at him, her breath shaky. She furious that he stopped when she was so damn close.
“What the hell?! I was so fucking close.”
She yelled before he placed his hand over her mouth and quickly shut her up and he simply chuckled before his face grew serious.
“Shut your mouth.”
He scolded and removed his hand, he then stood up and removed his sweats, along with his boxers. The man’s aching cock sprung out of its cloth prison and he let out a sigh of relief before taking a couple steps back, moving away from the bed.
“On your knees, now.”
Harry demanded as his eyes were fixed upon Y/N and nothing else. The female was speechless when she saw how large the man’s cock was; it was better than she could have ever imagined. His orders were obeyed and she got off the bed, moving in front of him and on her knees. She took him her hand and examined him for a second before sliding his thick length into her mouth, taking what she could and stroking the rest with her hand. She heard him cuss under his breath and that made her want him even more but she knew she had to make him want her even more. Harry then grabbed a handful of Y/N’s hair and started face-fucking her, she gagged every now and again but it just made him go crazy.
“Shit...”
He moaned out as he looked down at her only to be met with her staring right up at him. He inserted himself deeply into her mouth, causing her to gag one final time before he removed his cock from her mouth, a string of saliva still connecting the two. He couldn’t take it anymore. He needed her right now or else he would lose his damn mind. Lifting her up into his arms, and holding her legs against his waist as he pinned her against the wall. She held him tightly, her arms slithered around his neck and her thighs constricting around his abdomen. Harry moved one of his hands and placed it on his cock, guiding himself to her entrance. Once he was there, he pushed his full length inside of her, the sudden action caused him to moan deeply and caused the female in his arms to scream with a mix of pleasure and pain. He allowed a second for her to adjust before he started pounding into her.
“Fuck!”
She screamed his name as she dug her nails deep into his back, as well as throwing her head back while she was being fucked mercilessly. He wasn't going gentle on her whatsoever but it just made her feel even better. Harry’s fingers dug into her hips as he roughly pounded into her tight walls, he then clashed their lips together and kissed the female passionately. The pain in his back due to her sharp nails was causing him to groan every now and again, it was more pleasure than pain. The pace he was going at only increased every minute, causing Y/N to cum multiple times, but that didn’t mean they were going to stop any time soon.
“Y/N, you’re so fucking tight.”
He breathed as her walls only continued to hug his girth. Stopping himself for a second, he moved them both from the wall and placed her back onto the bed, her limbs still wrapped around him as she stayed a moaning mess. It wasn’t long before he started moving again, faster than before; if that was even possible. They stayed in the missionary pose for quite a while, the room filled with their moans.
“Who do you belong to?”
Harry asked, his voice raspy and demanding an answer. Y/N struggled to get an answer out due to the fact that she was an absolute mess in this exact moment.
“Well?”
“Y-you, Harry! I b-belong to you!”
She managed to scream out, her voice laced with lust and passion while her breathing continued at a rapid pace.
“That’s right.”
The man chuckled as he pushed himself into her as deeply as he could, staying there for about a second while he went back to Y/N’s neck which seemed to just be covered in one giant bruise when it was actually just tons of individual love marks. Soon enough, he went back to thrusting in and out of her, letting a groan out as he knew he was coming close to his release. The female below him had her share of releases and she knew that by the end of this, she would not be able to even take a step without collapsing.
“Get back on your knees, Y/N. I’m close.”
Harry had no intention of getting an 18 year old pregnant. He was clean but he didn’t want to risk releasing his load into her, regardless of the circumstances. He pulled out of Y/N and she quickly got back onto her knees, starting to suck him off and play with his balls as she did so, which caused Harry to purr.
“Fuck, yes baby, finish daddy off..”
He moaned out as she deep throated the man in front of her, taking him as well as she could before she finally felt his hot seed spill down her throat, all she could hear was Harry groaning as he held onto her head, making sure she took all of his seed. Y/N swallowed every last drop before she was able to move her head and look up at him, sticking her tongue out of her mouth so that he could see that she did indeed take every last drop of him. Harry stared at her, eyes filled with lust before leaning down and kissing her passionately, not paying much attention to where her mouth just was. Pulling back from the kiss and turning his head to look at his alarm clock that rested on his wooden bedside table which read 3:00 am. They’d been at it for a couple hours and the grown man wouldn’t take back any of it.
“Now don’t forget what you said. You belong to me now.”
Y/N nodded before she pushed herself up off the floor and sat at the end of the bed, looking at herself in the mirror across the room. How was she going to explain all these bruises to Iris? She’d probably have to leave before she woke up.
“Thanks for all the bruises, you jackass.” She snapped, causing Harry to laugh as he was putting his boxers and sweatpants back on.
“Oh please, have you seen my back?” He asked before he turned his back to her, a giggle escaping her throat before she bit her bottom lip. It looked like she drew blood on some sections of his back. She was quite proud of that actually.
“We need to get you home. I’ll tell Iris there was an emergency or something. She can’t see you like, that.”
He pointed towards her neck and breasts before she nodded and was about to get dressed, then realizing Harry’s actions of desperation earlier caused her clothes to be completely ripped and unwearable so she stood up and grabbed the shirt that the man was wearing, sliding it over her head and letting it drape over her small figure.
“I need to go get my stuff, I can’t leave in just this.”
“Oh but you’ll have too, otherwise you’ll wake her.”
Y/N groaned before she felt two large arms wrap around her body, Harry’s chin rested on her shoulder while they both faced the same direction; looking in the mirror. The large man then started nibbling on her ear before whispering into it,
“Think of me fucking you while you wear my shirt as you drive home. I’ll bring you your things in the morning, if we’re lucky and you’re home alone, we can have some more fun.”
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so that’s the first smut i guessss. i hope you guys liked it. I might write some more in the future depending on the feedback i get from this one. the other ones may be shorter though, i’m not sure yet. also sorry if there's some mistakes.
(i have a different version of this on my wattpad but i decided to post it as harry on here)
#harry styles blurb#harry styles au#harry styles fanfic#harry styles one shot#harry styles angst#harry styles smut#harry styles fluff#harry styles x y/n#harry styles
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immj2 20.10.20 lb
great, the memory card has fallen off aryan's shoe onto the floor. can't wait to see it kicked and passed around the house like the heere in andaz apna apna ka climax.
a wholeass pailllllllll of nails chachi has, and she knocked it over, and now she's scooped the memory card and put it with the nails. abbe yaaaaaaaaar.
dadi is a little too fida on this bahu. hello, you have other grandchildren in this house too? yes ok most of them other than siya suck, but still!!!! angre ko toh itna laad nahi deti aap??? i would argue he deserves it more, having to handle two-two sankiii raisinghania siblings.
lehenga waala controversy ki hawwwwwww vansh ki maa ka lehenga kaise pehen liya tumneeeeeee, and riddhima's like bishhhhhh my man gave it to meeee.
btw i think it's rude af that vansh got haq over it and not ishani and siya. i would totally not let a brother give away my mom's payal AND lehenga to some chick he married coz he thought she was a shady bitch here to spy on the fam. HE DIDN'T EVEN MARRY HER COZ HE LOVED HER OR NOTHING!!!!!!! WHY DOES SHE GET OUR MOM'S STUFF?!?!?!!?!? WHO MADE HIM THE BEQUEATHER OF HER HEIRLOOMS????????
long story short, i agree with ishani's bitchface here.
face-off between saas bahu over whether vansh will show up for aarti. lordddddddddddd, y'all better off betting on shit like the ipl, at least kuch toh paise mil jaate usmein.
full raisinghania parivaar convinced ki nahi aayega vansh.
but oh????????? YEH KISKI HAI AAAHAT???????? YEH KISA HAI SAAYA?????????
boooooooooooyah in your faces, bitches. though mans looks like he'd rather wrestle a pack of wild dogs than be doing this. HE'S HERE. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.
behold the power of heterosexual crushy-wushy feelings (triple-boosted by the power of maa ka lehenga.)
mann hi mann mein gutargooo. god, just rip off the beautiful clothes and fuckkkk, you idiots. it's what maata rani wants!
OK BLOODY ENOUGH STARING THIS SCENE HAS LITERALLY GONE ON FOR 3 MINUTES TOO LONG, AARTI BHI KARNI HAI KI NAHI?!?! WHO ARE THESE PPL WHO STAND AROUND SUSTAINING EYE CONTACT LIKE THIS MY SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ASS IS FUCKING DYINGGGG HERE FROM JUST WATCHING THIS
dude turns on the puppy eyes only when she's not looking.
waaaaaah! look who's enjoying aarti! while smize-flirting with wife.
inn meesniyon ko baaz nahi aana. this is the fucking stupidest shit i've ever seen. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A BED OF NAILS?????? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE MORE THE NUMBER OF THE NAILS PACKED CLOSELY TOGETHER, IT PROVIDES A FOUNDATION THAT ALLOWS EVEN WEIGHT DISTRIBUTION AND THUS DOESN'T HURT?????? USKE UPER CARPET BHI DAAL DIYA. SO HOW IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO WORK, LIKE AT ALLLLL????
also idk wtf dushmani this family has against riddhima's poor feet ki unko hi nishaana banaate hain har time. poori ki poori body padi hui hai behen ki, kahin aur bhi vaar kiya karo, variety ke liye?!?
bhakti waala boner.
kal hi maine bola tha ki isko dandiya mat dena. angre inviting his own shaamat.
literally everyone in the family has their own different style of taking aarti.
aarti given to aryan with an extra side of stinkeye and promise to put him in jail.
voot has muted all the bloody songs and replaced it with some generic music and goddddddd. i have to go download some stream from tv now to watch the dance sequences properly. literally what is the point of voot’s existense, someone tell me. itnaaaa ghatiya streaming platform nahi dekha maine aaj tak. they should be paying us to watch shit on their trash site.
this is the most non-enthu dandiya playing i have seen in my life. he's standing there as if his shoes have been nailed to the ground. ffs, siya, who's in a wheelchair has more zeal.
his bejaan dancing reminded her of the other inanimate object that is priority as of the moment: the memory card.
aaaaaaaaaaand she hit him on the hand, and he walked off mooh phula ke that she wasn't paying attn. GOD EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING.
meanwhile this one also got her hands on the bucket of nails. lordddddddddddddddddddd. i just can't with these ppl anymore.
yeh lo, yeh phir aa gayi maata rani se favour maangne.
FROM 0-60 IN A SECOND THIS ONE'S BRAIN MAKES ASSUMPTIONS. DIMAAG HAI YA TESLA KA ENGINE?!?!!?
inka khatam nahi hua. itna dimaag padhaai likhaai mein lagaati aap log toh khud ki companyaan chalaate, aur vansh ke paise ki zaroorat nahi padti.
ishani literally hammered nails into her bloody dandiya to hit angre with, who tf she think she is, jeffrey dean morgan from the walking dead?!?!!?!?!?!
hein???? riddhima ko itne upar se bucket mein memory card dikh gaya??? is she a long-lost cheel sister from naagin 5???? (maine bola tha this show is a companion piece to that one!!!)
i really truly get ishani’s annoyance with this b. she’s very very very irritating.
“isse kahin safe jagaah chupaana hoga” she says, AND YET AGAIN PUTS IT SOMEWHERE TOTALLY DUMB, THAT SHE WOULDN'T REALIZE IF IT FELL TF OUT. WHYYYYYYYY IS SHE LIKE THIS?!!?!?!?!?!? JUST WHY??????????
I MEAN........... JUST GO HIDE IT WHEREVER YOU KEEP YOUR MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS????? LITERALLY NO ONE WILL TOUCH THOSE, ESP. VANSH/ARYAN. IT'S THE LAST PLACE THEY'D EVEN THINK TO LOOK. MY GOD WHY IS SHE SO INFURIATINGLY STUPID??????????
garba ke baad she wants to show vansh the footage. wonderful. should go great.
mummyji ka naatak to make riddhima take the akhand jyot. fwding.
if there's anyone who's MORE of a doe-eyed optimistic fool than riddhima in this house, it's angre.
god ishani, you're a horrible person.
ofc, isko hero banna hai. keel ko poora daboch hi liya haath mein.
great, he's like tum ziddi toh main bhi dheent. re bhagwaaaaaaaan.
pls god, let them pair siya with someone wholesome; nahi toh i'll not have a single couple to ship in this generation of raisinghanias.
lmaooooooo dandiya kam yeh toh fencing match zyaada lag raha hai.
husband was just saying sorry to apologize for bumping into her but OH HO HO HO HO PATIDEV KABHI MAAFI KYUN MAANGEEEEEEEE PARMESHWAR SE TOH GALTIYAAN NAHI HOTIIIIIIIIIIII
one ainvayi ka ~~deep~~~~~~ dialogue also, that made no fucking sense but ok whatever.
LMAO WHUT THE DANCING CAME OUTTA FUCKING NOWHERE I AM AS PUZZLED AS VANSH IS
also everyone's like baaju hato baaju hato iske khatarnaak dancing se already vansh ko lag chuki ek baar abhi humein nahi khaani
i am ishani and aryan, pissed at how this chick just be hogging the whole floor. hello, this is a communal garba space!!!?!!
also i fucking love nagada sang dhol, but solo dancing to this song just looks very very sad.
anyway, now that the cultural program part of the evening is over......... time for operation keel carpet.
this chachi is such a sample i swear to godddddddd. iske khurafaati dimaag mein full time aise nonsense ideas hi aatein hain. aunty, apply this time and effort into an mba or msw or something, and you'd be much better off in life.
for the love of god stop making this dude run unless its some legit chase sequence or something. he looks ridiculous running around in the house as if he's trying to break the world record for 400m.
Bhakti Boner round 2.
chalo, finally she's on her way to the room. in dono ke kaleje ko thandak.
once again, for those at home thinking of replicating this kaand to fuck over an annoying nanad/bhaabi/whatever: please read how a bed of nails works, so that you don't waste your time on it.
why's everyone watching her go up as if ISRO ne koi naya satellite launch kiya ho??? DO Y'ALL NOT HAVE WIFI IN THIS HOUSE??????? MATLAB, KUCH BHIIIIIIIII ENTERTAINMENT NAHI HAI KYA ISS GHAR MEIN RIDDHIMA KE ALAAVA????
issne toh mann mein jann gann mana bhi gaana shuru kar diya, outta pride.
HOW EVEN IS SHE BLEEDING FROM THE FOOT WHEN KEELON KE UPAR CARPET HAI?????????? KUCHHHHHHHHH BHI.
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death stranding adventures- final
I finished Death Stranding!
A recap on the events through the end of the game + my thoughts as they occurred below the cut! Beware spoilers if you haven’t played the game!
- left port knot with the order for fragile and found myself looking at a sea of the blob BTs- not exactly a joyous moment. I finally figured out why they look familiar though! They resemble the Portuguese man o’war! Which makes sense in keeping with the beached/aquatic creature theme given: the fish that show up after you defeat the catchers, the catchers themselves, THE WHALE, the little floating crabs, etc. The lions don’t fit the theme obviously, but I chalk that up to them being more of a Higgs thing? Since he’s the reason you encounter one in the first place.
- I got Sam through the floating BT minefield without too much trouble by hugging the moutainside and using the rifle to take out the ones that were closest to make a path. After that, there was a brief reprieve and then I had to fight a catcher BT. Did that then the normal BTs appeared once I progressed a little further. Made it past that, then rushed through mule territory and then, more BTs. This time 4-5 lion BTs (i don’t remember which but I know it was more than 3 because I thought I was done and then about got Sam stomped on by the one that I missed). Finally finished that and got a TON of chiral crystals for my trouble which was admittedly kinda nice, though my thoughts were mostly “please just let me finish this delivery T_T” by that point.
- Continued the trek to the Capitol Knot City and noticed the sky had changed from a color I refer to as “tornado green” to this very ominous red shade. Not a good sign, followed by rumbling noises that made a even worse sign. Nearly to the city gate (as in maybe the length of one of the bridges you can build level close) and then. A whale. Falls. Out of the sky. ._. Guessed it was time for round whatever number I was on at this point and once again, Sam with the standard reaction to weird BTs goes “what the fuck”. My thoughts exactly at this point.
- Climbed onto whatever thing that emerged from the tar was closest and then clambered onto a building that appeared. Was helped once again (as I was with the previous fights) by a ghostly Sam that lobbed all sorts of neat useful things my way, most importantly two grenade launchers and a multi rocket launcher. Thank you ghostly Sam! I would’ve been doomed without your help. Defeated the whale, collected more chiral crystals, then FINALLY made it to capitol knot.
- Delivered the items to Fragile who looked... really not well. I was concerned there was going to be another loss, but Sam waved a cryptobiote in front of her face and she woke up. Prior to Sam walking up to he, Mama/Lockne ran over and tried to hug him which Sam was (understandably) having absolutely none of but at least he was kinda gentle when he stopped her.
- They explained the whole thing that happened and how Fragile was essentially bounced back from Amelie’s beach and that she wanted Sam to go to her. So they have a long convo about how Sam needs to go and has to find a way to stop her, but also understand that he might not be able to come back. Pretty sobering, but ok. He and Fragile do the forehead touch (which I know helps but it’s so cute, I can’t) and she tells him to picture Amelie’s beach and feel the connection to her. Fragile does the same “I know you love her” thing as the first time and Sam gets sent over to the beach. Fragile looked very sad, chiral allergy tears aside. Which, given that she probably considered him a friend by this point, fits since there’s no guarantee he’ll come back let alone be able to stop Amelie.
- Elsewhere, on Amelie’s beach things are... not looking good. There’s dead sea creatures everywhere, the water’s red, and the sun thing looks like it’s going to turn everything on the beach into smoldering ashes any second. Sam finally finds Amelie after running around for a while and she reveals she’s an EE, which he already technically knew thanks to Higgs. Amelie explains a bunch of stuff and tells Sam to make a choice: stay with her and watch the world end (no thanks) or stop her. Sam pulls the gun which does no good and upon following her, gets a prompt to hug her. He does and they both get super emotional (which is in turn making ME get emotional) and then Amelie shoves him away.
- Sam plummets into the ocean and somehow gets bounced back to his own beach. Where he’s blue? For some reason. I don’t think it’s a tint because everything else on the beach looked the same colors it always was in prior sequences. He’s the only thing that’s not. Which, there is a reason for I’m sure. Anyways.
- Cue running along the beach for eternity a good while with Sam stopping every so often to sit down and catch his breath as well as reflect on what Amelie told him. Which was a lot. She explained that she and Bridget are one and the same, a separation of Ka and Ha that managed to coexist. She also says she got bored of waiting for the end and decided to bring about the extinction early and, while I can understand that’s her purpose as an EE, way to say fuck humanity I guess.
- In between more running and resting, it’s revealed that Sam is the BB Cliff (aka Mr. Combat Veteran) was looking for. His son. (Which you find out kinda after fighting him for the third? time.) Sam was apparently an experiement and a potential sacrifice (man this game gets dark fast) for something. Die-Hardman- aka John- told Cliff as much in less words and instructed him to take his son and run. Cliff does and bad things ensue when he gets cornered. John/Die-Hardman was given the order to shoot Cliff and when he refused to Bridget/Amelie made him, quite literally, by grabbing his hand and making him pull the trigger. My thought process during these has bacially centered around “wow Bridget is awful” but add the swearing of your choice to that sentence. Basically, I do not feel charitable towards Ms. Extinction Entity.
- Cliff took BB Sam out of the pod at some point and when Bridget shot him via using John/Die-Hardman as a puppet, she also shot BB Sam. Upon realizing this, she freaks out. Which is understandable given that she just killed a man and a baby. But what did she think was going to happen? That Cliff would throw his teeny baby son across the room when she pulled the trigger? What exactly was her expectation here?
- So BB Sam died and went to the beach. Or was it his own beach? They all start to blur together a little after a while. Amelie finds the BB, which is blue because it’s not breathing (ooh hey maybe that’s why adult Sam is blue? ... but my understanding is when Fragile jumped him to Amelie’s beach, all of him went— not just his soul. So maybe not? Is it symbolic? Am I just looking too hard into this?) and does infant cpr (I think?) and lo and behold, BB Sam is brought back to life! She tells him she knows the way home and puts him in the ocean. & in upsetting the balance of life and death, she made him a repatriate
- Once again back on the beach, Sam decides he’s had enough of being stuck there and remembers the gun and Amelie’s words that “a gun won’t help you here but it still has a role to play” and decides to use it as a way to end the beach cycle. There’s a click and then the title “Death Stranding”. I was very confused at first and just kind of stared at the tv like “that’s it? All that for—“ and then a little button prompt showed up on the bottom with the words “reconnect with the living”. Push the button and oh look, Sam’s still alive (Which is very much a joyous moment for me as a concerned player)! He tries again a few times and realizes it doesn’t work, then hears a very familiar song. Following the sound he finds little BB handprints in the sand and following those leads him to some familiar voices.
- Amelie/Bridget shows up again, this time in white as opposed to her signature red (i know there’s symbolism in that change, maybe rebirth? or just signifying that she’s trying to be on humanity’s side of things this time around?) and tells him that he still has ties to the living and then points at the five figures floating in the sky⏤ presumably meant to represent Deadman, Mama, Lockne, Heartman, and Lou. Or is it Deadman, Mama/Lockne, Heartman, Lou, and Die-Hardman? Following that, various voices belonging to those mentioned above remark that they can see him and just need to bring him back. Sam winds up in the ocean again (i’m finishing up this post almost a week after beating the game so my memory is tad iffy on the exact way things happened) and is greeted with the sight of Deadman holding Lou in her little pod while he’s got his hand around Sam’s ankle.
- They manage to bring him back to the land of the living and what follows is a fair amount of cutscenes. In the absence of Bridget/Amelie/Samantha ‘America’ Strand (the woman who never existed), Die-Hardman takes up the mantle of president (good for him!). He reveals his face to the crowd (and presumably everyone watching from... wherever they may be) and starts talking about the unsung hero none of this would’ve been possible without... which is about the time Sam, who’s been hanging out in the very back of the room (mood), decides to bail (also a mood). He slows a little when Die-Hardman says the hero doesn’t need to be named, they all know who it is and they’re all for grateful for their efforts. He keeps walking and exits into the hall and wow, BRIDGES buildings are a lot bigger than you’d think from looking at the outside which is large in general but inside is... a lot.
- Deadman catches up with him and drops some information about Die-Hardman aka John. Which I think Sam already knew due to the sequence while trapped on the beach but oh well. Sam continues down the hall and tries to pass Die-Hardman who appeared from somewhere? I’m going to guess parts of the facility loop or there was a change in scenery and I just wasn’t paying enough attention. He confesses information about his past, including how he got his name, and kinda has an emotional breakdown which made me very sad for him and increased the number of times i cried while playing this game. Sam gives Die-Hardman/John back his gun and repeats Amelie/Bridget’s words and leaves.
- Sam goes to leave the building and runs into Deadman again who hands over Lou’s pod and... Lou’s dead. Which was very depressing and the knowledge of which hurt. A lot. Deadman tells him to take Lou to the incinerator and takes Sam’s cuffs offline while giving some useful information: his location is undetectable by BRIDGES while his cuffs are offline and they will automatically reconnect to the network when he uses the incinerator. Sam nods, gives Deadman a hug and tells him “thanks for everything”. Which is more than a thank you, it’s a good-bye and kojima has now broken my heart into five billion pieces. Sam departs, gets out the big door, and... oh hey, Fragile!
- They chat briefly, during which she reveals that she’s carrying on her father’s legacy and that Fragile Express now has a private contract with BRIDGES and they’re the first independent company to have it. Good for them! She comments on Lou (I think) and remarks that he at least shouldn’t need an umbrella. Then asks him if he’d work for her. Sam says no and explains how he felt when he first began his journey and reveals he still feels that way (and now i’m even more sad! let’s take the five billion pieces that are my heart and just shove them in blender at this point, why not!). Fragile is upset and I think she tried to stop him again but he left anyways.
- Thus begins the trek to the incinerator with BB’s Theme playing on the way there (it’s a wonder i could even see the tv at this point as the ending just keeps hammering the sad nail home). Finally made it to the incinerator taking the same path I did on the first visit (thanks Igor for the tools!) and Sam enters the building, takes off his cuffs and sets both those and Lou’s pod down on the incinerator before he remembers Deadman’s words. He snatches Lou’s pod back just in time and the slab descends into the floor, the doors seal shut, and turn his cuffs into ashes. It’s revealed that Sam took Lou out of the pod and not much has changed. He tries infant cpr and hearing his words the entire time literally had me sobbing. Sam says “come on baby’ and he’s crying (i’m crying and now the blended pieces of my heart are being run over by a steam-roller) until he finally gives up... and then... Lou lives! There are a bunch of baby BT’s floating nearby in the incinerator which is a little concerning, but hey Lou’s alive! Sam cradles little Lou to his chest and she’s so tiny⏤ her little skull is barely the size of his palm! Anyways, Sam and Lou walk outside and it starts to rain... but the sun is shining, the rain causes no harm to him or Lou (or Sam’s clothing) and a rainbow appears. The first normal rainbow in the entire game. Which is a good sign, I think? The title screen appears once more and woo! I beat the game!
This was a very unique and fun game, and I can honestly say I enjoyed every minute of it. Between the music, the environment, the characters, and all the lore you can uncover by reading Sam’s mail... it was an amazing experience. I still have some trophies I’m missing and I think I only need 10 more to platinum the game so I’ll be playing chapter 15 for a little while longer. Plus I want to rebuild all the roads + find all the memory chips. I do want to replay the game in it’s entirety sometime just to see what i pick up on ahead of time the second go-around. And, while I may have beat the game, this is going to be another one of my forever fandoms. I don’t have much contributed right now, but I hope to have more things posted soon now that I know the whole story. if anyone ever wants to chat about the game, fic, or anything, feel free to send me a message!
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The Night is Ours
Fandom: Marvel
Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader
Summary: You and Billy have this friends with benefits arrangement. He only comes to you during the night, bringing your body to the ultimate pleasure. Then once the day hits, he seems to lose interest in you. You’re starting to get tired of it.
warning: mentions/implications of sex
A/N: this ended up being nearly 2.9k words. my bad, my dudes. anyway, tagging @banditthewriter @suchatinyinfinity @thedevilwearsvibranium @dylanobrusso (my fellow billy lovers)
You and your friends were currently at the club dancing, drinking, and having fun. It’s been a while since you’ve let loose and relaxed. And what a way to do it. The place was bumping, people everywhere, drinks flowing. It was a new place that opened in Manhattan. One of your girls was able to get you all in, despite there being a list of invitees. So here you were dancing to the music, trying not to spill the drink in your hand.
You felt two hands go onto your hips and grinding into you, when you turned, ready to slap the suspect, your wrist was caught, “Easy there, tiger.”
“Billy,” you said in surprise.
He let go of your wrist, Surprised?”
“Well, yeah. What’re you doing here?”
“Security. The owner is an old friend. Wanted some good back up in case things went sour since it’s opening night. Didn’t expect you to come here.”
“A girlfriend was able to get us in.”
“Jessica?” he asked and you nodded, “Yeah, she’s sleeping with the owner, my buddy, Duke.”
Your jaw dropped because Jessica had just explained earlier that day that she wasn’t seeing anyone!
Billy laughed, “I’m guessing you didn’t know.” he then made an all too obvious show of checking you out, a smirk on his lips, “Damn.”
You rolled your eyes, “You’ve seen it all before, Russo.”
“I know,” he took you by the hips and pulled you closer to him, “And I wanna see it again.”
_____________________________
You woke up around 7:45 in the morning in Billy’s apartment. You were naked and alone. Again.
You should be used to this by now. You and Billy were having a friends with benefits arrangement going on for nearly a year now. At one point, it didn’t bother you. You happily let Billy take you to bed and then you’re up and ready to leave the next morning. You don’t know what changed. Oh wait. Yes, you do.
You had a particularly bad date and needed a pick me up. So you went to the nearest bar and lo and behold, you see Billy there getting friendly and cozy with some beautiful woman with brown curly locks and perfect tanned skin.
Of course, you and Billy weren’t exclusive. You were friends-ish, but when you saw him there with that woman, there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.
After you left, not even getting a drink and not wanting to be seen, you reflected on your reaction. On your feelings. You started to fall for Billy Russo.
“I’m not boyfriend material, Y/N. I don’t know how to do all that lovey dovey couple shit.”
You recalled Billy telling you that way before your arrangement began. And eventually, one thing led to another, you found yourself in bed with Billy Russo. And it was great. He thought it was great and that was when he proposed the arrangement. You agreed, clearly, because Billy was amazing in bed and you needed a good stress reliever. Same as he. But then things changed.
Now, whenever you sleep with him. It’s different. On your side, it’s desperate. You cling onto the thought of having Billy like this. Being the cause of bringing him to pleasure, feeling his hands and lips over his body, because you know this is the only way you could have him.
But now you regret this. You regret agreeing to this arrangement. You regret ever going to that bar and seeing him with someone else. You regret ever meeting Billy Russo.
You say that time was the last time.
But it wasn’t.
_____________________________
You found yourself in Billy’s bed once more. It was a particularly stressful day for him and he asked you to come over. You knew what he wanted. What he was asking for you and you had the full intention of telling him you wanted out. But then he started telling you about his day and how stressed he was. He pulled you into his arms, cuddling you and kissing your head and you couldn’t say it. You couldn’t end it.
So you two ended up in his room. Things weren’t fast and rough like they usually were. They were soft and gentle and it felt different. Did things change for him? Did he start to feel the same as you?
Once you brought each other to absolute bliss, he collapsed beside you on his bed.
You plucked up the courage to finally ask, “Billy, what are we?”
He turned his head to face you but you continued to stare at the ceiling, “What do you mean?”
“Is this still a friends with benefits arrangement...or did things change?”
“Why would things change?”
“I-I don’t know. Tonight just felt...different.”
You heard him sigh and you glanced over to see him run a hand down his face, “Y/N, just because I let my guard down with you earlier and was gentle tonight in bed, doesn’t mean things have changed. It’s still are usual arrangement.”
“I want to end things. Now. This is the last time.”
Billy sat up and stared down at you, “Why? Did things change?”
You sat up and rolled off the bed, “Yes and I’m an idiot for letting it go this long.” you quickly began to collect your clothes and throwing them on.
“What happened? What changed?”
“I started wishing for different things.”
“Like what?”
You shook your head, “Forget about it, Billy. Lemme just leave.”
“No! I wanna know what changed! Why you suddenly wanna end this!”
“Because I started wishing that you’d want me during the day just as much as during the night!” you yelled, “I started wishing that it was me you were having drinks with at the bar during the day! Taking me out on dates! I started wishing I was in other women’s shoes so I can be seen with you in public! I started wishing that you’d stop calling me in the night and start calling me in the day, but only because you wanted to see me or just hear my voice!
“I started wishing that you’d have feelings for me like the ones I have for you,” you finished dressing up and shook your head, “But I know, Billy. You’re not boyfriend material. You don’t know how to do that lovey dovey couple shit. So I’m done. I can’t stand this hurt anymore. I thought I’d be okay with just having you in the hours of the night, but I can’t. It’s just too painful.” with your stuff in hand you looked at him, red and teary eyed, “Good-bye, Billy.” You marched out of his apartment, the slam of his front door letting him know that you were gone.
_____________________________
Billy: can you please answer your phone?
Billy: I wanna talk to you.
Billy: are you at least okay?
Billy: did you make it home alright? I just wanna know you’re safe.
Messages deleted.
_____________________________
For three days, Billy had been texting and calling you nonstop. It’s been irritating you to no end. Why couldn’t he just accept that your arrangement was over? Why did he have to be so complicated? He could easily find someone else to fill in your shoes! Until he stopped. In a way, you were relieved, but you were also disappointed. Either way, you were just hurt.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The noise startled you from your pathetic rom-com marathon. You paused your movie and went over to your door, grabbing onto the baseball bat you had beside it as you peered through the peephole.
“What the fuck,” you mumbled to yourself as you saw Billy, whom you haven’t seen or heard of for three weeks. His eyes looked glossy and his hair was disheveled.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
“Y/N!! Open up! I know you’re hooome!” Oh God. Is he drunk?, “If you don’t open up, I’m gonna kick your door open!”
You quickly unlock your door and pull Billy in by the collar of his shirt, “Jesus Christ, Billy!” you slam the door shut, locking it, and face Billy, “What’re you doing here?!”
“I m-miss you,” he staggers over to you, trying to kiss your lips, but you dodge him, catching him as he nearly falls over, “I-I ben testing and calling you for days. But you ignore me! Why you ignore me?” he looks at you with sad eyes, “I’m sorry.”
You sigh, rubbing your forehead, “Alright. You’re gonna sleep now, Russo. C’mon.” you help walk him over to your room, plopping him onto your bed. You take off his jacket and shoes so he’s comfortable.
Billy sobs, “I’m sorry, Y/N. I mess up,” he leans forward, head resting in your chest, “I mess up and you leave and I miss you and I love you! I’m sorry! Plese don’ ignore me again!”
“I love you.” those three words you’ve been dying to hear echoed in your mind. He’s finally said it, but he’s drunk. He doesn’t mean it. He can’t mean.
You push Billy back to lie onto your pillows, “Go to sleep, Billy. You need to rest.” you pull the covers over him and he grabs onto your wrist.
“Please don’t leave. Stay. I-I promise I won’t hurt you again.” you simply nod, not wanting to fight him on this. So you turn off your lights and slide into bed with him. He immediately pulls you into his arm, his breathing heavy, and he reeks of alcohol, “I’m sorry. I love you.” he kisses your cheek, “I’m sorry.”
You choke down tears as you say, “Just sleep, Billy.”
It doesn’t take long to hear his snores that you’ve gotten used to. Now, as he lays in your bed dead asleep, you pull yourself out of his grasp and replace yourself with a pillow, which he accepts.
You then walk out of your room, softly shutting your door behind you. You make your way back to the couch. You suddenly don’t want to finish the movie anymore. So you turn off the tv, store your snacks back into the cabinet, and pour your wine down the drain. You then settle onto your couch, pulling your blanket over and you and cry yourself to sleep....again.
_____________________________
Billy woke up with an excruciating headache. The room he was in was dark, “What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was 10am on Saturday. Well, at least he didn’t have work today. With his phone, he found a lamp on the bedside table. The room lit up and he realized that he was at your place, “Aw fuck.” he also noticed a glass of water and pain killers on the bedside. He happily took them, wanting his headache to disappear immediately.
He then grabbed his jacket and slid on his shoes. He wondered how he got here or if you were even home. When he stepped out, he got his answer.
There on the couch, you were sitting, hunched over and typing away on your laptop. Without looking at him, you pointed to your kitchen, “There’s a plate of food there for you.”
He glanced at you and then the kitchen. He silently went over to the kitchen, taking the plate of food and some utensils. He sat at your small kitchen table and ate, watching you type.
“What’re you workin’ on?” he asked, trying to kill the silence.
“Stuff,” you mumbled back.
He gulped down his food and nodded, dejectedly. Looks like you weren’t going to talk. He tried thinking about anything you or he said or did last night. He remembers swaying a lot. Probably due to all the alcohol he’s had. He remembers crying to you, telling you he loves you. Shit.
“I remember some stuff from last night,” he said.
“Good for you.” you mumbled as you continued to type.
“I told you I love you.” the typing stopped, “And it’s true. I do.”
You close your laptop and get up, “You’re only saying that because you miss having a fuck buddy. But I’m sure you’ll find a replacement in no time.” you rush to go to your room, but Billy is faster and he catches you.
“Y/N, please-”
“You didn’t say anything that night Billy. So what? Is this a typical case of ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’?”
“No! I’ve always known I’ve loved you! It’s-”
“It’s what, Russo? What bullshit excuse do you have for me, huh?” you looked at him angry and expectedly.
“It’s complicated.”
You shook your head, “Get out.” you push at him, “Get the fuck outta my apartment, Russo!”
But Billy fought back, “Trust me, Y/N! You gotta believe me!”
“Why should I?! You were perfectly fine on letting me go that night! What changed?!”
“I started missing you! I started missing the sound of your voice, your laugh. I started missing your touch. Your lips. I started missing your sarcastic comments and witty comebacks! I missed you and I’ve been calling you and texting you because I wanted to see you! I just wanted to hear your voice!” You stood there, staring at him in silence, “I fucked up, I know. I should’ve spoke up that night, fought for you to stay. I should’ve told you how much I love you, but I couldn’t ‘cause I was scared!”
“Scare of what?”
He sighed, “When I was serving overseas, I got into some fucked up shit. And it followed me here due to my own selfishness and naivety. I knew-God, I knew that if I got involved with you, you’d be pulled into my shit too. And I didn’t want that. That’s why I only saw you during the night. I couldn’t let anyone see us together during the day ‘cause I knew that if they found out I was with someone, they’d use you against me. They could hurt you and I didn’t want that.
“So these past three weeks, I busted my ass off to finally end things with these people. I wanted things to end a long time ago, but what really set it into stone was you. I wanted to be with you and the nights we had together was my way of having you any way that I could. And then watching you leave that night, it tore me up inside.
“So I fought. I killed. I nearly died, honestly, and that was all for you. Because I love you and I want to be with you. Day and night. I wanna be yours and want you to be mine.”
You let out a shaky breath, “That’s some heavy shit.”
Billy couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yeah. No kidding.” he carefully took a step towards you, cautiously grabbing your hand. When you didn’t retaliate, he relaxed a bit, “So now all that bad shit is behind me. I’m here in front of you and I’ve laid out all my cards. It’s your move now, Y/N.”
“That woman I saw you with at the bar. The one with the curly hair and perfect skin.” Billy nodded, “Who was she?”
He sighed, “A homeland agent looking into the shit I did overseas. I...killed her partner on the orders of someone else. She was looking into me and I was looking into her, but she didn’t know I knew.”
“Did you sleep with her?”
Billy gulped, “Yeah, but only to keep up appearances. It didn’t mean a thing. She doesn’t mean anything to me.” he lets go of your hands and cups your face, “You, Y/N, you mean everything to me. You’re right, I don’t know how to do that lovey dovey couple shit, but I wanna learn. I wanna try. With you.”
You looked at him with watering eyes, “I’m scared.”
“I am too, sweetheart,” he softly rubs his thumbs across your cheeks, “I’ve never been in love before and already, I’ve fucked things up. But I wanna do better. ‘Cause you deserve better. You deserve the best and I’m more than willing to give it to you. We may stumble a bit ‘cause I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But I just hope you’re there to catch and correct me.”
“Okay,” you whisper.
Billy lets out a breath of relief, “Okay? You’ll-You’re with me?”
You nodded, “Yeah, Bill. I wanna give this a shot. If you say all that bad shit is behind you and you’re ready to move forward, then okay. I wanna see where we go from here.”
He smiles at you, “Thank you,” and pulls you into a kiss. A deep, loving, passionate kiss, “Thank you, Y/N. It’s all ours. The day. The night. It’s ours for the taking. Whatever you want, baby. I’m there.” He stood there with a big smile on his face.
A weight has been lifted off your chest. You feel lighter. Free. You wouldn’t have thought that the man who caused you so much pain would be the one the relieve it in the end.
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Because I needed to write something after I saw that couch in the common room.
— Rn
Title: Another Wednesday
Pairing: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Word Count: 1, 534
Lucas steps into the common room with a bit of trepidation. The curtains are drawn, bathing the room in a state of dimness. He spots the white sheet covering the floor near the wall where the god awful mural still remained. The cans of paint, still unopened, sit where he had left them last time. It’s been a week since Daphné had told the headmaster they were repainting the mural and the lack of progress isn’t sitting well with her. She finally put her foot down last Tuesday and pestered Lucas about the damned thing. He didn’t understand why he ended up being the target of her ire. Eliott should be at the receiving end of those disapproving eyes as much as he was. He was the one that offered to repaint the mural. Lucas was only the smitten fool that wanted to spend time with him.
It’s probably because she has a crush on him, he thinks with a little frown. He can’t exactly blame her. Eliott’s a handsome guy—drop dead gorgeous really. He’s the kind that never failed to catch anyone’s attention. His beauty bordered on surreal and with the accompanying gentle and friendly disposition, he’s bound to gather the interests of girls and boys alike. Lucas still couldn’t believe he had actually kissed him. Had Eliott sleeping on his bed, had held and been held by him, and knew how his touch, his lips, his skin, tasted and felt against his own. He feels the skin just at the base of his nape tingle. The memory making way for a blush to steal itself on his cheeks. He remembers the looks that Mika and Manon had exchanged and couldn’t help the groan slipping past his lips. The blush intensifies and the desire to hide his face and never show it again rears its head.
Lucas knows that they know now. I mean, when you see a guy comes out from one of your roommates’ bedroom and said roommate walks around with a large bruise sucked on his neck a few hours later, insists that they were good friends and becomes defensive without any prompting, there’s only one logical inference you would make. Honestly, he should have checked first if Eliott had left any marks before braving the outside world. He wouldn’t have ended up looking like an idiot then. The only silver lining he had was the fact that Manon and Mika hadn’t mentioned anything. Which, really, is more than Lucas could ask for.
And with Eliott’s continuing absence, Lucas just isn’t ready to talk about it.
He’s not sure why he hasn’t messaged Eliott. He has his number. He could just open up his Telegram and send him a quick message. Ask how he was doing, see if he was free to hangout, tell him how he much he misses him and wants to see him badly.
But he hasn’t. He couldn’t seem to make his fingers tap out a simple message.
Ever since he woke up that Saturday afternoon, all he did was lie in bed, listen to music and stare at the opened conversation with Eliott on his phone. He waits. And waits. And waits. But the screen doesn’t change.
No new message appears.
Eliott remains absent.
The glowing warmth inside his chest dims and slowly ceases to exist. He feels numb all over. The hours he had spent with Eliott feels more like a dream more than anything. He aches but all he could do is stare sightlessly at his ceiling. When night came, he gave the room back to Manon. He wasn’t that bothered when they stayed late in the living room watching TV. He has long recognized the sign of a sleepless night.
It’s been four days and sleep still proves itself elusive. So far, the only rest he got was a couple stolen minutes in between classes and the small hours in the early morning. It was finally getting to him, the exhaustion settling deep in his bones and accompanying him the rest of the way. He doesn’t want to stay in school for much longer. In fact, he wanted to at least grab a few hours on his bed. Manon had insisted he use it and Lucas was too damn tired to argue. Unfortunately, Daphné had other ideas.
Which is how he found himself standing in the middle of the common room on a Wednesday afternoon. Daphné wanted the mural repainted and she wasn’t taking any of Lucas’ excuses anymore. He would have admitted by then that he had lied and had no fucking idea how to paint—unless you counted the several articles he had read on mural painting and the point-by-point wikiHow article on repainting a wall (He has them bookmarked but no one needs to know that). But by some chance, or divine orchestration if he were to believe in such a thing, his phone pinged of a message received that Tuesday. And lo and behold, it was from Eliott.
Are you free Wednesday at 13h?
Daphné wants us to start on repainting the mural, preferably this week.
Lucas had no idea how to feel. He had stared at his phone for several minutes. Just reading and re-reading the message. He remembered the first time they scheduled meeting up in school. Remembered sitting there and waiting for more than an hour, only for Eliott not to show up. The disappointment weighed heavily in his stomach, the anger at himself biting and burning and the hurt pierced his heart like a million tiny needles. But he also remembered the sight of Eliott with dark bruises under his eyes. The sound of his raspy voice. The state of his hair from messily styled to a clear representation of his anxious hands. He could vividly see Eliott’s subdued self, along with the sincerity in his eyes and the little smile on his face as he asked Lucas for forgiveness. He wasn’t sure what was going on with Eliott, but Lucas knew he at least deserved to be given the benefit of the doubt.
There was also one thing he was indubitably certain of: He wanted to see Eliott, badly.
So, with shaking thumbs, he typed out, “Yeah, I’ll see you then,” and sent it. Eliott replied with a picture of a raccoon, looking happy and sending out a flying kiss. Lucas couldn’t stop the smile from etching itself on his lips.
Like that Wednesday, Lucas arrived half an hour earlier than the stated time. He was hoping that Eliott was already there but sadly, he wasn’t.
It’s been five minutes since and the exhaustion from his lack of sleep is making itself known. Lucas knows he’s fighting a losing battle with his eyelids. His mouth cracks open with a yawn and tears slide down from the corner of his eyes.
“Fifteen minutes,” he mutters to himself. That should be enough for a power nap. He makes his way to the couch. He’s thankful that Daphné made the effort of cleaning it and providing clean sheets. She may have been a little annoying, but she’s a blessing. He drops his bag on one the other chairs. Daphné would probably be overjoyed that he’s using this the way she intended it to. He flops onto it and curls up; he doesn’t remember falling asleep.
....
In the darkness that surrounded him, a gentle hand on his nape is what grounded him. Long fingers make their way to the short hairs at the base, softly scratching and running through them. The touch rouses Lucas from his dreamless sleep and his eyes slowly flutter open to stare unseeingly. The hand continues to caress his sleep-rumpled tresses and he tries to blink away the last remnants of Hypnos’ hold on his consciousness but it persistently clings. Lucas turns his face where he feels the dip of the added weight. He sees a thigh clad in a familiar pair of dark jeans. His nose is tickled by a familiar scent and he breathes it in. He presses his face to that thigh, closed his eyes once more and lets himself drown in the comfort and safety the touch has begun to instill in him.
“Lucas?” Eliott’s soft melodious voice asks him.
He hums and his hand reaches out to grab Eliott, arm hooking around the taller boy’s middle.
“Lucas come on, wake up for me. This couch can’t be good for your back, let me take you home.” He hears him say but Lucas’ mind has begun to sink into unconsciousness again. The warmth and familiar feel of Eliott’s body bringing him back to that Saturday morning and how easy it was to fall asleep. “Lu?”
“Five more minutes,” he mumbles sleepily.
“Five?”
Lucas grunts. “Five, then we’ll repaint the stupid ugly mural.” He buries his face closer to Eliott’s thigh.
Eliott’s light laughter echoes in the empty room. His long fingers card through Lucas’ hair gently and the younger brunette sighs contently. “Okay,” Eliott acquiesces. “Five more minutes.” Warm breaths ruffles the hair on his forehead before a pair of lips brush against the skin there.
Lucas smiles and for the second time that day, he falls asleep.
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Medic
Pairings: ReaderxSweetPea
Warnings: Hinted at violence, mentions of blood, fluff, angst.
A/N: Hope you enjoy this lil not so lil fic, American Beauty//American Psycho will go up during the week. Let me know what you think my loves!
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“Woah what happened you?”
“Fucking Ghoulie” Sweet Pea stomped inside your trailer and threw himself down on the couch. Eye bruising, head cut and lip swelling slightly. He was a sight to behold.
“Aww poor baby” you teased and he glared.
“Just fix it, that's your job isn't it?”
“I'm the gang medic not the gang slave” you shot back.
You kneeled on the couch in order to look properly at the cut on his head starting in his jet black hair.
“Wow Ynn on your knees for me? You tease”
“Careful Sweet Pea or your eyes will be a matching set” you played back. Always the same flirtatious exchanges that never mounted to anything.
Still on your knees you leaned further in, tilting his head down to reach the very start of the cut before starting to clean it out.
“You know you're basically forcing my head into your chest right now yeah?”
“Are we complaining?” you dabbed an especially large amount of antiseptic on his head and he let out a hiss.
“Nope, never” he gripped your hips harshly and seemed to channel his pain into them, you didn't really feel it at all.
“You're crossing the line of doctor patient relationship SP” you put the steristrips on the cut and covered most of them with his hair to hide them before moving into the eye.
“Shame” he smirked. You sat back so you were cross-legged, pulling Sweet Pea closer to inspect his eye.
“This was just an excuse so you could spend the night looking deep in my eyes wasn't it” he grins at you and you flash a small beaming bright light into his eyes.
“Argh!”
“Yup your pupils dilated fine there” you laughing as he shoves you backwards before hovering over the length of your body. He shifts to prop himself up, still holding himself over you.
“No need to patch up the black eye now that I'm blind”
“You're right, we should fix your lip though” you half catch him by the chin and drag him down closely, him willingly going. Your faces were mere millimeters away. He slowly closed his eyes but quickly you grab a cotton pad soaked in antiseptic and press it to his lip as he half howls in the pain of the burn and the surprise.
“You bitch!” He shoots up kneeling, leg either side of you as he pats dry his lip.
“That's an odd way to say thank you” you smirk and he begins tickling you mercilessly as you were caught halfway between screaming and laughing.
“Okay truce truce truce!” He finally stopped as you began to turn slightly purple. You were regaining your strength as you both stared at each other sweetly, him still kneeling above you. His phone buzzing to life broke you both from your trance.
“Hello-Yeah-Yeah-Really?-FPs son?-yeah-Emm not I'm really busy-” he glanced at you apologetically and you bit your lip, averting your gaze “-okay-okay-Ill be right there-yeah-talk to you later”
“Business?”
“Yeah?”
“Will I have a bunch of you to stitch up later orrrr”
“No-” he laughed again “FP was busted for that murder thing on the Northside, typical that we get the blame. But anyway he didn't name names with the drug's side of it so it's time to follow the rules and start looking after FP jr, going over there now with the gang to let him know” he reluctantly got off the couch and fixed his jacket and collar in the mirror. Sweet Pea was fiercely loyal, especially to the Serpents. They had given him everything when his world was taken from him a few years ago. No one knew what that meant to him like you did. You were best friends ever since. You stood and behind him, helping to fix his collar.
“FP jr...oh waits he's kinda hot, I wonder if he's single?” you half whispered behind him, knowing it was driving him mental.
Suddenly Sweet Pea turned, grabbed onto you before turning again, half slamming you into the wall on which the mirror hung. You let out a slight sexually charged whimper at the sudden control he was taking and he smirked. Damn it you thought. He was inches from your face once again.
“Yeah, I thought so” he winked before releasing you, reveling in the little victory you just granted him while you cursed yourself.
“Maybe I should give him a phone call” you called after Sweet Pea as he went for the door.
“It'll be the last phone call he ever gets” Sweet Pea half slammed the trailer door. He won the battle but you won that war.
~
Over the next few weeks you were introduced to Jughead and his subsequent Northside world. You found yourself falling slowly for the idea of the Northside, a place free from direct negative association. With the more time you spent in the north, the less you spent in the South and with Toni and Sweet Pea. It had not gone unnoticed, especially by Sweet Pea. He had wanted to like Jughead but your intense interest in him and his world had completely put him off, along with Jugheads initial reluctance to embrace all things Southside.
The rain hit off your tin roof viciously, it was nights like these you spent curled in your trailer often before chaos of a fight would ensue and your trailer would be full of casualties for you to repair. Tonight was no different.
“I mean god forbid you fight when it's dry and sunny and Toy Story isn't on the TV for fuck sake” you finished bonding together Fangs Fogarty’ check gnash with the medical glue, the enduring your rambles. You moved your way along the string of Serpents, repairing each as they told of their fight with the Northsiders before being interrupted by a “psycho girl with a gun”.
“Wait...where's Sweet Pea?!” You searched around the room when you got to the end of the line and they began filtering out.
“He's still with the police, he's been in and out with them for for past month more than any of us so they kept him in longer” Fangs replied as the gang began to move on and out
“wait why so much?”
“All petty crimes, don't worry, it's only your fault” Rocky jeered before exiting.
“Wait what” you caught Fangs shoulder before he could slip out too.
“Well I mean you're not around to rein him in lately so he's bound to go off to his own devices to distract him”
“What do you mean I'm not around?!”
“Gotta ask yourself that question Northsider” Johnny scoffed before you pinned him to the door frame of the trailer with your forearm.
“What was that Johnny?” You bit.
“Noth-nothing yn sorry...thanks for realigning my wrist…”
“That's what I thought” you jostled him back and he half fell out the door down the steps, Fangs laughing at him before he met your glare and stopped.
You began cleaning up the trailer and changing into your PJs before sitting and waiting for Sweet Pea to come with his own injuries. He didn't. You spent the whole night sitting, looking at the door and waiting for your jet black haired friend to come in giving out about something or other. He didn't. You eventually drifted off into a nightmare fueled sleep.
You woke in a cold sweat thinking of all the things that could have happened to him during the fight, during being in the holding in the prison, on the walk home, in his own trailer. The thoughts were eating you alive. 5.30am gleamed on the clock, he had to be home by now.
Dressed in your pj top, shorts and slippers you grabbed a dressing gown and threw it on before dashing across the trailer park to where Sweet Pea lived alone. You banged harshly on the door, fear and cold getting to you.
“Jesus Christ what?!?! Are you trying to wake the whole park?!?!” He half shouted, squinting and groggy. You just dove at him, arms wrapping tightly around his tall build.
“Woah what who died?” You didn't answer and just held him slightly tighter.
“Okay seriously ynn who is dead?! Is it Hot Dog?! Oh please don't say it's Hot Dog!! Say it's Fogarty before saying it's Hot Dog! ” He pulled you inside his disgruntled trailer.
“I thought you died you big jerk! Why didn't you let me know you were okay!?” You went from hugging his chest to hitting his chest.
“Thought you'd be busy checking if your new Northsider boyfriend was okay, didn't want to bother you with my Southside problems” you broke from him and looked extremely confused.
“Don't give me that ynn, we all know it's what you want. A nice, happy, safe home, away from all this Serpent crap, it's why you're the medic now and stopped working jobs with me, don't lie to me”
“Firstly I HAD to stop working jobs, I was the only one my mom had trained in her trade before she died so I didn't have a choice there, secondly I wouldn't dream of leaving my Serpent family, there crap is my crap and thirdly I can have a nice, happy, mostly safe home in the Serpent's, it's what I have!”
“IT'S NOT THE SAME! YOU WANT TO LEAVE! I KNOW YOU DO! YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE ALREADY AND STOP PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE AND JUST LEAVE! YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THE SERPENTS! You deserve better than me” his true feelings came to light once more, the eternal and never ending fear of being abandoned again. Your anger drained from you then.
“Sweet Pea I could never ever leave you, I could never ever leave the Serpents. You're more deserving of love then you realise and Sweet Pea-” you took his face in your hands to force him to look down into your eyes. He placed his own hands over yours to hold them there.
“-I love you” your hands on his cheeks went around his neck and you pulled him down to meet your lips. His hands went to your sides. You broke apart and just held each other for a moment, your head buried in his chest and his resting on the top of your head.
“I lo-" it was like his tongue was completely tied in itself and you could see him curse himself. He wasn't used to hearing it, wasn't used to saying it and wasn't use to feeling it.
"its okay" you said into his chest.
"i love you too” he whispered against your hair.
“I'll make sure you have a nice, happy, always safe home ynn, I won't let anyone hurt you”
“You'll never be alone as long as I'm around Sweet Pea, I'll keep you safe from your own thoughts” you kissed again.
“I love you, you giant goof but if you ever scare me like that again, you're going to need to go to a regional hospital” you winked.
“Ive got all I need in the medic that you are” he kissed you sweetly then again
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Much love Xx
Tags: @sunshine51879 @deanilostmyshoe
@goshdarnitthatsalongname @svenjafangirlt
#riverdale fic#riverdale fanfiction#riverdale imagines#riverdale#sweet pea fic#sweet pea imagine#sweet pea x reader#sweetpeaxreader#sweet pea#sweat pea#serpentxreader#southside serpents#serpent
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Credit to @phyripo for the header image.
Oh look, I’ve finally finished another fic inspired by a Pogues song! This time it’s NedRo, based on ‘Haunting’ and the tone is rather… different compared to my other fics. Whilst most stories in the series are rather angst-filled (though there are happier ones scattered in there to mix things up) this one’s… well, I don’t want to say funny, more stupid and terrible. And most of it’s in verse. Because I hate myself. This took months to write and I’m so glad that it’s finally finished and I get to share this monstrosity with everyone.
I’m sorry.
Also Ned's name in this is Siemen. Blame Phyripo. Also thanks to her, @peteradnan and @tikola-nesla for reading extracts of this terrible thing and letting me ramble.
It’s probably better to read it on AO3
Siemen – Netherlands
Isabel – Belgium
Luca – Luxembourg
Alin - Romania
“Sit down on that stool hear the cant of a fool,
And a strange tale I'll impart to ye…”
“Opa, will you tell me a bedtime story?”
A big fat ‘no’ wasn’t going to be an acceptable answer here, was it?
The last thing Siemen wanted to do was read anyone a bedtime story, but two pairs of bright green eyes were staring right back at him in the gloom of their shared room and he knew he could spend an hour arguing with a pair of screaming children, or he could just tell them a damn story. At least this way, he could be downstairs with a glass of wine in ten minutes.
Isabel and Luca’s room was a mess of toys and clothes and Siemen wasn’t sure he’d ever seen two people with so many possessions. When he was a child, he had a few toys and books and a little bike. That was all. How did they even have time to play with all these toys? Especially since he’d never seen Luca play with anything except an iPad and that one plastic cash register.
Okay, maybe he was a little proud of Luca for that one. Especially when the kid short-changed a teddy bear for being rude to him.
He stared down at his grandchildren in despair. They… really wanted a story, didn’t they? Was there not something they could watch instead?
No, a story was always the best thing to send a child to sleep with. That was what his daughter insisted when she caught him letting the children watch Watership Down until they fell asleep (the TV show, not the film – he wasn’t a monster).
“Okay,” he said, voice cracking, “what book do you want?”
“Can’t you tell us a story from when you were young?” asked Isabel. “You’re so old! You must have interesting stories, right?”
It was illegal to dropkick a small child out the window, right?
“What did you do when you were little?” asked Luca.
“Respected my elders.” A fat lie but oh well. It was a lie his family told him to get him to behave. It didn’t work but they could sleep easily.
“Did you have TV?”
“Yes but only a few channels,” he sighed, “and it was small and grainy.” And if anyone knocked the aerial then the image was fucked and he’d miss the end of Floris in the time it took to fix it.
“So what did you do when you weren’t watching TV?” asked Isabel.
“Rode my bike.” He smiled, remembering the long summer days wasted cycling by the beach in the sun, maybe taking a picnic with him and spending hours just looking at the sea.
If he was being honest, he had to ride his bike everywhere, because he grew up in the countryside and everything was stupidly far away.
It was how he discovered-
That’s it!
“What about a story a friend of mine wrote?” he offered. Anything to stop them asking questions about his personal life. Even his wife – God rest her soul – could only recall approximately 5 facts about his life. And that was before the dementia set in.
The kids perked up.
“Well, he wrote poems,” Siemen clarified, “but story poems.”
Luca’s face lit up. “Ooh, like Dr Seuss?”
No, nothing like Dr Seuss. “Oh, sure. Like that.”
Leaving an excited pair of grandkids to their chatter, Siemen hauled himself up to shuffle into his room. He always tried to keep everything as organised as possible, a habit that now served him well in his old age. For example, he knew – under his bed – was a battered old suitcase where he kept old mementos regarding a certain someone.
There were two books in the suitcase, one a heavy scrapbook containing preserved leaves and twigs, the other was a notebook on the verge of falling apart.
The unpublished poems of Alin Radacanu, his final volume.
Hand written by Siemen Morgens, upon the poet’s insistence.
Most of these could only be described as ‘sexually menacing’ and certainly not appropriate for adult human beings, let alone children. There was one though…
When he hobbled back to the bedroom, Luca had climbed on the bunk bed to fight Isabel. Again. It was almost perfect, like Alin had planned to have his poem read aloud – for the first time – to a pair of fighting kids.
He snarled and began with a growl.
“Sit down ya wee bastard,
I’ve a tale of disaster,
And romance all to tell ye,
About a young man,
His name was Siemen,
And a strangely attractive ol’ tree.”
The kids jumped, Luca falling off the ladder and Isabel looking at him in utter confusion.
“Dr Seuss never swore in his books.”
He would if he ever met Alin. “I said it was like Dr Seuss, but not entirely. Now, if you promise to not tell your mother about the bad words, I would like to continue, please.”
The kids nodded, eyes sparkling at the thought of hearing ‘bad words’ with cool Opa Siemen. And keeping a secret from mum.
“One night, a cold night,
A night full of fright,
He set off on his little old bike,
Off to a party,
His attire classy,
As the rain it speared like a pike.
If a journey could kill,
Oh, this man hated hills,
He much preferred land to be flat,
He was a Dutchman,
So hills he would ban,
If he had the power to do that.”
“Why don’t you just get a taxi?” asked Isabel.
“It was the 1960s and I lived in the countryside. We didn’t have taxis like those fancy fuckers in Amsterdam. Also I was poor.”
Luca laughed at him.
“You shut your bitch mouth.”
“The rain was too much,
The trip dangerous, as such,
And the hill a steep torrent of mud,
So this man turned around,
For shelter was bound,
Before he got knee-deep in sludge.
At the foot of the hill,
Trapped in a chill,
Our hero sat, sulks by a tree,
But lo and behold,
Gnarly and bold,
This tree was in fact me.
Now a prankster I am,
And I can’t spare a damn,
So as slick and as sly as an oyst-
-er, I bent down to his ear,
And in words loud and clear,
I simply said to him: moist."
“Your friend isn’t very good,” Luca commented.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Well, no.”
“Then shut up.”
“He was up like a cat,
Or poker to the back,
And let out a terrible shriek,
His face deathly white,
Oh, what a horrible fright!
Simply too fearful to speak.
When nobody was seen,
Except for this tree,
This young man decided to run,
Away from ground haunted,
By ghosts he was taunted,
I, the living tree, he did shun.”
“Your friend… is a tree?” Isabel raised an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“Mum was right; you’re a senile old bastard.”
“I swear to you it’s tr- I’m a what?”
Isabel shrugged. “Her words, not mine.”
Siemen glared at her for a long moment. “Can I continue?”
They nodded.
“Good.”
“Back on his bike,
Almost flew into a dyke,
In his haste to get away from me,
Shaken and shook,
Without a backwards look,
At me, the twisted old tree.
For weeks, I, alone,
Just stood and bemoaned,
The loss of a potential new friend,
I want him back now,
My soul he will plow,
Will my loneliness ever just end?
Then one silent night,
A strange speck of light,
This man had come back to me,
Though he was scared,
My power he feared,
A new friendship, could this possibly be?”
Luca raised an eyebrow. “You went back to the scary old tree?”
Siemen shrugged. There was a time where he’d been less sensible, almost reckless. And maybe he just wanted to prove to himself that ghosts weren’t real because, dammit Siemen, you weren’t raised to be such a gullible fool.
“If you had found out ghosts were real, would you not want to find out more?”
“Ghosts aren’t real, though.”
“Well, you are wrong. Very wrong. Wrong and stupid.”
Luca began to cry. Because that is what happens when you call a seven-year-old stupid, Siemen.
“Wait, no, I didn’t mean it!” he hissed, “please don’t tell your mother.”
“Give me €20.”
“Absolutely the fuck not.”
Luca cried harder.
The little fu- “Fine! Here!” He – incredibly reluctantly – opened his wallet and fished out a twenty.
He already knew that smug smile on Isabel’s face meant bad news.
“You’ll have to pay me to not snitch too,” she said slyly. Why did his daughter have to go and have 2 kids?
With a growl, he handed over another twenty. “Can I continue my story now?”
“Sure thing, Opa!”
“He kealt at my root,
His glare was acute,
And demanded to know what I was,
Malevolent spirit,
A vision too vivid,
Or was he a cruel laughter’s cause.
I spoke to him gentle,
A voice thin and fragmental,
I begged him to hear my sad tale,
I meant him no harm,
No need for alarm,
I am but a man, cursed and frail,
Though his eyes showed his fear,
Siemen’s ‘yes’ was sincere,
He wanted to know tragedy,
This blight called my life,
My well-deserved strife,
The price of noxious vanity,
Alin the annoying,
A poet so trying,
A genius hated by all,
Though his rhyme was sublime,
And looks so divine,
He was regarded as quite the arsehole.
He made a bet with the devil,
Their power was level,
And he simply won’t ever die,
He put a gun to his head,
And in one shot was dead,
In blood did that idiot lie."
“This moron killed himself to prove he was immortal?” exclaimed Isabel.
“Well how else do you prove it?”
Isabel thought for a moment, then scowled when she couldn’t come up with a reply. Ha! That’s what Siemen thought!
"The devil punished this poet,
Eternal life? He’d bestow it,
Let this man live his mistakes,
Trapped in a tree,
Trickle of time oversee,
Alone in a silent heartache.
Well now I have Siemen,
Promised to be my friend,
He’d come back to visit again,
And the next day he came,
My heart was aflame,
This feeling spread like a bloodstain."
“Eugh,” Luca pulled a face. “A tree fell in love with you?”
“A tree that used to be a man, mind you.”
“It’s still weird. I mean, you couldn’t fall in love with a tree back, right?”
Siemen fell silent. His grandchildren looked at him in horror.
“Well it’s more about personality, you see.”
“And what kind of personality did Alin have?” asked Isabel.
“A horrible one.” They both raised their eyebrows. “Not really. Well, he was very strange, but I couldn’t help liking him. He was funny, and witty. And, well, I don’t know.” He could feel a blush creeping onto his face, and wanted to punch every single one of his blood vessels. “I just found him charming.”
Luca stared at him for a good minute. “Wait, are you saying this actually happened?”
“Of course.”
“You’re senile.”
“Sinterklaas isn’t real.”
Five minutes of crying, and a €30 bribe later, Siemen turned back to Alin’s poem.
“Our friendship, it grew,
To the town’s harsh ado,
Their tongues, like me, were thorny,
Though we broke the taboo,
Our hearts painted rouge,
The truth was he made me so-“
Sieman stopped. Why, Alin? “Oh no, that’s a bit too rude.” As were the next few verses, it seemed. And this was supposed to be one of the cleaner poems.
“We sat in the sun and he told me poems,” he explained, in the hopes of distracting his grandchildren from the prospect of something with a rude word in it, because holy fuck did children love rude words and he couldn’t have them asking their mother what ‘horny’ meant. “We talked about our lives and grew closer. He had a lot of interesting stories, though I’m not sure just how many were actually true.”
He desperately scanned the poem for something that was’t complete and utter filth, vaguely remembering just how disgusted he felt hearing it from Alin’s voice all those years ago.
Ah! Here we go!
“Our cruel reputation,
Across this flat nation,
The madman who French-kissed a tree,
I go naked in winter,
His lip has a splinter!
And his step-child a family of bees!”
Well, it was cleaner than the last seven verses. Isabel still looked disgusted though. He couldn’t blame her. It took him a week to get that splinter out. And that was just the one he got on his lip.
“Our time was a blast,
But it could never last,
He was a human and I just a tree,
I had stood here for years,
Cried cold, lonely tears,
What I wanted was my soul’s release.
What I ask of you dear,
I make this quite clear,
To go set me free at last,
Take your little axe,
Plunge it into my back,
And chop me up quite fast.
I know you will miss me,
With ice where you kissed me,
But the only way to break my cruel curse,
Is to chop me down,
My spirit set down,
Your axe shall be my own nurse.
I’m ready to die,
My soul has run dry,
And my bark has grown dark and inky,
So cut down this tree,
And let me be free,
In fact, I’ll find it quite- God fucking dammit Alin!”
“He’ll find it quite what?” asked Isabel.
“…Stinky?”
“That’s not the word! We’re not idiots!”
Siemen had had quite enough at this point. “It is the word now shut up and go to sleep!” And he left the kids to their protesting, turning off the light and creaking downstairs to find that wine bottle. After locking up the unpublished poems of Alin Radacanu somewhere innocent eyes couldn't find them, of course.
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Marina Book: A Response
Dear Marina,
This had been a long time coming on my part. As a self-introduction, my name is Lily, I’m 19, and I deeply resonate with you as a person. I know that’s an incredibly bold statement to make off the bat, but I feel like saying I am a fan doesn’t quite get across the feeling I want to convey (although, I am also a fan. Love your music a lot.)
As an aside before covering the topics you discuss, I thought I should mention that Marina book is something of great importance to me. I have adored you for years, and you have helped me through many obstacles in my life through your music (which is a whole other story I hope to share with you one day if ever we meet face to face). Your music has played a big part in my life since 2011, however the reason I am writing this is because of the Marina book.
Have you ever had that deep connection to someone, a celebrity or public person, who you just know feels the same way as you do/thinks in a similar fashion? From my point of view, that’s the vibe you had been giving off these past 2-3 years. The content you have been releasing has only told me that you are an incredibly aware, kind, and genuine person who has dealt with life from the highs and the lows. And I strongly, strongly connect with you on that.
I feel like I should just jump in with the topic of social media. As a child born in the 90s (98), social media didn’t really become a thing (in my life, anyway) until I had just begun my teenage years. Us late 90s kids are known to be an amalgamation of two generations. We recall a childhood free of technology very easily, yet as we reached teenage-hood we learnt how to get soaked up in social media and how to use it. It quickly became a way for me to connect with likeminded people around the world (I was 12 at the time so by ‘like minded’, I mean people who also watched the silly TV shows I liked to watch.) I’d always been a slight oddball at school, not in a bad way, but my mother had always brought me up to be unapologetically me, and I was. I wasn’t particularly liked, I was teased a lot, but half of the time I was too busy having fun to notice. So finding similar people online was solace to me - and it quickly began to take over my life.
Connecting to people on the internet more so than to people in real life, I became one of those teens who was silent at school but loud on the internet, and I was liked on the internet - something I was not in real life. As you mentioned, the appraisal was what became an addiction to me. The need to be validated. As I got older, negative thoughts and self doubt began to creep into my mind, which affected my self confidence rapidly. I became depressed by 14, and lo and behold began the worst period of my life to date. Depression manifests itself in people in a variety of ways. For me, it was the all consuming version. A variety of external factors in my life are what triggered it, but I remember the two years I dealt with depression as being completely dark periods of my life. Social media was also a solace in that respect, I had a voice, and people listened - so when I talked about how depressed I was, people listened and cared. By the same token, social media helped me create a disillusioned version of myself to my real life friends as a happy person.
To cut to the important part, I hit rock bottom in 2013 and ended up in hospital. From then on, my journey of recovery began and it was oddly one of the most rewarding periods of my life. I received therapy, which matured me emotionally in many ways. When you talk about your views on social media/introversion/depression, I wholeheartedly agree. The Marina Book was able to do one thing - which was crystallising my thoughts into beautifully written words (a skill I have yet to work on).
The brief narration of my life above was a way in which I could express the situations which have shaped my current views on the topics approached in your writing. I felt it was necessary, because if I’d just sent you my thoughts below you’d probably think ‘now why the fuck does she think that?’, so take it as a disclaimer for whatever I’m going to write on below.
I’ll say one thing - I completely agree with everything you have said so far. On every topic. I have had the similar thought processes as you - deleting social media, exercising, meditation, etc. I suppose this is just my (similar) views on the topics. It makes me feel like a copy cat but I have nothing to say except expand on what you’ve said by drawing from my own experiences. I’ve been deleting social media on and off for about a year now. It’s a hard habit to shake, I admit, and now that I’m studying at University I’m finding it even harder to switch off, because socialisation nowadays mainly revolves around social media. (And I have FOMO for god’s sake!) Do you ever get the strong urge to get rid of your iPhone and switch to a Nokia? It’s an idea I’ve been toying with for a few months now and it only gets more tempting. I want to be more in tune with myself, I want to take care of myself. Draw, read, write, exercising, eat well, you name it. However it’s so easy to just lie on your bed flicking through instagram - and suddenly two hours have passed and you feel like shit and unaccomplished. It’s easy thinking all of these ideas, but the problem I have had is executing them. I’ve downloaded Moment, an app I’m finding incredibly useful, and I hope in the long term it’ll reduce my urges to waste ages on social media doing nothing but absorbing grey content. My screen time has rapidly decreased from an average of 4 hours to 1 hour now I’ve deleted Instagram and Facebook off my phone. I do also think people are beginning to shift towards awareness in regards to the traps & fronts people put up on social media. However I do also believe it’s going to remain as a platform people use to publish the best versions of themselves.
I was thinking one day about using instagram for the opposite purpose - broadcasting the worst parts of my life (eg. making a post when I was having a bad night or when my cat brings in a dead mouse again..!). It’s an experiment I would love to partake in, however I feel like it’ll go down like a lead balloon seeming as I don’t have many followers and people wouldn’t probably notice. And then I’d make a big post explaining my master plan and people would just say ‘Oh, okay. That’s cool I guess. Like!’.
I’m going around in circles here. What I’m trying to say is - I’m on the same page as you. I’ve settled in at University now so socialisation isn’t as important, so I’m definitely working towards using my phone a lot less and taking more time for myself (and my degree).
I deeply apologise for writing so much. I just have a lot of thoughts and although I’d love to make them flow nicer or compact them into more organised thoughts, I can’t help but just type everything out and hope you get the gist.
I also just wanted to talk about your post on being an introvert. I am one too, and although I love socialising I really value my alone time to recharge and reset. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to like your own company - I like mine too, very much so. I actually think that in the future I will continue to be a solitary person. For some odd reason (and I might be completely wrong), I can see myself being out of a relationship for most of my life. I’m 19, and I’ve barely lived, so this feeling might completely change. I used to think I’d be depressed forever and that wasn’t the case, so I might be wrong about this too. But I like the idea of going through life alone. I still have my really close friends who I adore spending time with, but I see myself being a person who is always moving about and never stays in the same place for an extended period of time. In that respect, I feel I will do all of that by myself and make friends along the way. And I see no problem with that. Turning down plans to spend time by yourself is guilt inducing at first, but once you realise it’s actually a normal feeling, you begin to allow wanting to take care of yourself. If I go out to an event I didn’t want to attend, it takes a whole day afterwards (maybe even longer) to get back to normal. So I’ve chosen to pick my battles - and it’s been so worth it.
I very much look forward to your next post. It’s nice seeing you travel in Japan too. It’s a beautiful country I would love to discover - I spent 4 months alone in China which was one of the most rewarding parts of my life so far, so no doubt you’ll emerge from your trip a new and improved person. As for your music, I’m happy you’re taking a break and doing things which are good for you. I don’t exactly know how the music industry works, but you might be put under pressure by companies (and fans for sure) to make new content. My opinion might not be the dominant one, but it still matters - but, don’t be rushed into it. I think what you’re doing now is essential for you as a person and an artist to grow, and I strongly believe you’re completely aware of that. I adore you as a person, your music is only a facet of the reasons why I respect you so much. Hell, you could become a florist and I’d be ‘yas queen’-ing it whenever you made a new bouquet. What I’m trying to say is that I, and other fans of yours, will support you in your future in whatever discipline you may wish to pursue.
I hope to meet you one day, truly. I feel as if we would get along and my instincts are (usually) pretty accurate. I find myself in London a lot so a tea in Sketch would be a lovely jolly old time.
Well, you asked for feedback and here it is…I apologise for the length!
Really glad to see you are well,
Lily Lara Gray (@LilyLGray on Twitter)
#marina book#marinabook#marina book response#marina diamandis#marina and the diamonds#matd#introversion#social media#mine
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“Game of Thrones” Season VII: Episode 2 - A Foreign Invasion is Underway
Guys. Sam's acne treatment. The fury of Freddie Mercury. BARACK. AND MICHELLE. Y'all stepped it up. Let's talk about it.
DRAGONSTONE
Lightning. Thunder. And then, in the uppermost window of Dragonstone - THERE’S A LIGHT.
It’s D-Baby. She’s doing her usual thing of staring moodily out of windows of castles which she’s decided to post up in instead of, you know, TAKING THE THRONE. But then P-Dinky is like, “We’re not gonna stay here long.” And we’re all like -
But before she ducks outta here, she turns to Varys and does a dramatic recitation of his Wikipedia page and opens up the library on him without mercy.
Luckily, he passes the test with flying colors and receives a full fucking pardon when he’s like, “I listened to Robert. I listened to your daddy. But you’re the voice of the people, so ya know what -?”
There is no time for revels though, because Melisandre has warped back here and is notable for being the only lady who didn’t get the memo about wearing black this season.
Anyway, she starts spewing her usual “Prince That Was Promised” shit. And D-Baby’s like, “But I’m not a prince!” And Michelle is all, “WELL TECHNICALLY, IT’S A BAD TRANSLATION THAT ACTUALLY MEANS ‘PRINCE’ OR ‘PRINCESS...’”
And we’re all like...
While at the same time being like, “Like, what is gender, amiright?”
#TheRealPrinceThatWasPromised
WINTERFELL
So Melisandre’s told D-Baby and co. about J-Snow, and they’ve dispatched a raven summoning him. But Sansa smells fish and is like -
But we’re all at home like -
And meanwhile Davos is still like -
KING’S LANDING
Cersei’s with a bunch of Tyrell bannermen giving a really inspirational speech about how they shouldn’t back D-Baby that basically boils down to -
And they’re all like, “Yeah but dragons.” And Maester Frankenstein is just like, “Don’t worry guys...
And we’re all like, “Ohmigod I wonder what it is!!!!” And he takes Cersei down to the dragon lair to show her and we’re like, “Ohmigod we’re gonna find out this episode!” and then he whips the cloth off it and it’s A... giant... crossbow...
And at first I’m like, “Well, now wait a second. Maybe crossbows don’t exist yet in this world.”
Aight, N.V.M.
OLDTOWN
One time I went on a 7 hour kayaking trip and didn’t bring sunscreen to reapply. There were blisters. There was pus. And yet it was not one percent as bad as what has happened to poor Daddy Mormont, who basically looks like this -
Sam thinks he can cure him, but National Treasure Jim Motherfucking Broadbent is like, “You know not the ways.” Even though Sam has clearly risen up the ranks so much that NTJMB and he are already like -
NTJMB is even asking Sam for thoughts on his new book about the last six seasons of the TV show we’ve been watching. And Sam’s like, “I don’t like the title.” And NTJMB is like, “What would you rather call it?” And we’re all thinking -
And he doesn’t. Yet. Instead he goes to Daddy Mormont and he’s like -
Except less chill because he’s got a paint chipper, some rum, a hope and a prayer.
What follows is the grossest Thrones scene since Grand Maester Pycelle farted last year. Because Sam’s gotta get all this shit off Daddy Mormont by morning, but Daddy Mormont can’t scream. And there’s A LOT OF THIS SHIT ON HIM. So it basically is a combination of -
and -
DRAGONSTONE
The gang’s all here and they’re all pissed at D-Baby. Yara’s like, “We gotta attack NOW!” Mama Sand is starting a #NeverLannister movement, and D-Rigg is just like, “Hey, member Margaery?”
And then P-Dinky - remember him? He used to be the best character? - actually gets to talk and he’s like, going on about how Cersei is going to win banner-men over by appealing to their nationalism.
So in honor of Made in America week, he’s not outsourcing their plan to attack the cities around King’s Landing. Until he gets to his own home city and he’s like, “Dothraki and Unsullied, you dudes are taking Casterly Rock.”
Everybody’s V impressed at his sacrifice but also that D&D actually fucking let him drive a scene, so they’re all like -
Except D-Rigg still seems a little huffy, so she and D-Baby have a private conversation where D-Rigg is basically like, “You’re standing strong and tall. You’re the bravest of them all. If on courage you must call, then just keep on tryin’ and tryin’ and TRYIN’. Be a lion.”
And D-Baby’s just like -
And then. My dear dear friends. It’s just Barack. And Michelle. Alone. Barack’s headed out, Michelle is staying behind. It’s now or never.
And Barack just starts on his usual -
But Michelle is not having it. She’s like, “THIS is the moment.”
And then she’s like -
And then she fucking just goes for his pants but he’s like, “Stop.”
And she’s like, “Yo, lemme at that D.” But he’s all, “You don’t understand. Six inches forward and five inches back, I got a - I got an angry inch.” And she’s just like -
And suddenly, it’s just like ASS! BOOBS! ARE WE GONNA SEE HIS STUMPY-STUMP OHMIGOD I HOPE NOT!
And then she lays back like -
But instead he’s just like -
And we’re all just like -
WHEREVER ARYA IS
Arya is full of reunions this week, because at first she’s eating at this inn when who should pop up but fucking HOT PIE! Also revelation that Hot Pie totally looks like Dustin from Stranger Things.
Oh, he FOUND the chocolate pudding. He found it so hard. So they’re like chilling and she’s like -
When Hot Pie acts like the greatest GPS ever known to man and reroutes her to Winterfell by telling her the Boltons are dead. And just like that -
But first reunion #2. Because we get some creepy POV shots on Arya camping in the woods, plus some growling and snarling. And her horse is acting CRAY. And I’m thinking, “Oh fuck. Ed Sheeran and his bros are back to fucking rape her, QUICK TURN IT OFF!” But lo and behold - it’s a bunch of wolves! Which is still bad until one is like -
But it’s not gonna eat her or catcall at her, because it’s her old wolf, people! So Arya is like, “Come with me, Nymeria.” But Nymeria is like -
and she peaces out. Leaving Arya alone to be like, “I see the same sky through my eyes as you see through yours, but we’re worlds apart. Worlds apart.”
WINTERFELL
More RuPaul - Michelle Visage shenanigans as J-Snow finds out about the dragonglass on Dragonstone and is like, “I’m going.”
But Sansa still smells fish and is like -
Which then gets everyone to turn on J-Snow, so he’s just like, “You know what? Fuck this. You be queen.”
But of course Sansa’s just like -
Meanwhile, Littlefinger is still being a creep.
THE SEVEN FUCKING SEAS
All right, so here we are with the fucking Sand Snakes.
Yo I know, I know, but spoiler alert they’re gonna die soon, so it’s all okay. Just first, we have to listen to them have one more dumbass scene where the One Who Showed Her Boobs is like -
And Whale Rider and The Other One are like, “Mama! Mama! Mama!” And I’m just like -
But then we go to Yara and Mama flirting while Mama like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’s Theon into getting them drinks. And then she’s like, “Aren’t you gonna protect your sister?” And she starts like getting close to her and touching her legs. And then she literally says, “A foreign invasion is underway.”
But alas, the invasion is cut short, because the ships are being attacked! And it’s like fire! Storming! UNCLE FREDDIE MERCURY!
And lemme tell ya, he is READY TO GO. It’s just like axes and blood and stabbing. And we’re all like -
And I’m especially like, “Uncle Freddie Mercury, find the Sand Snakes. Kill them.”
But Yara finds The One Who Showed Her Boobs first and is like, “Yo, I’m still trying to fuck your mom. Go protect her.” And The One Who Showed Her Boobs is just like, “Got it.” But the other ones aren’t so lucky. Because first he comes for Whale Rider.
And then without missing a beat he goes for The Other One!
And then Freddie’s backup boys find Mama and The One Who Showed Her Boobs and Mama’s just like, “Kill us. Get it over with.” And again, I’m just like -
But of course, it’s Game of Thrones and we can’t have too much of a good thing.
Anyway, it’s full-on Yara vs. Uncle Freddie Mercury time, and meanwhile there’s still these like mystery fire cannons shooting off.
But THERE’S NO TIME FOR LOGIC! Yara’s about to get her throat slit when Freddie’s just like - “LITTLE THEON!!!”
And Freddie’s like got an axe to her throat, and Theon could just like... run at her? I guess? And do something? And then Freddie LEGIT Virginia Woolf’s him. Like -
And Theon’s just like -
BOOB COUNT: 1
BODY COUNT: 2, plus a lotta extras in that last scene (Rest in Eternal Misery Whale Rider & The Other One)
EPISODE GRADE: A-
SER POUNCE’S STRAY THOUGHTS
I just don’t believe for a second Varys is going to stop conspiring behind people’s backs just because Daenerys made him swear an oath.
After so much hype about this Prince that Was Promised prophecy, it was just a BAD TRANSLATION? I dunno, guys.
I gotta say it, I was Team Sansa for such a long time, but she’s being quite the killjoy this season. And there’s nothing I hate more than being on Team Jon. That said, nothing she’s doing is really stupid. She’s being rightly cautious, but because we know Tyrion and D-Baby aren’t trapping them, it’s creating an interesting conflict for us.
Dickon joins the latest Thrones characters recast over the season break. No more Cormac from Half-Blood Prince.
They love saying “the wars to come.”
I’m so not about Diana Rigg dying, but I fear it is coming.
So just to be clear, the plan was to use Yara’s fleet to transport Ellaria back to Sunspear and get the Dornish army. But now, the fleet has been taken (right?) and Ellaria has been abducted. So none of these armies are technically in the control of Daenerys anymore.
Emmy campaign for Barack please.
So I think it’s safe to say that we can add another Samwise-Samwell parallel in that at the end of all this, Sam will document all these events into an essentially in-world Song of Ice and Fire book.
I’ve loved this Arya plot this season. I thought for sure she was headed down a path into ice-cold vengeance biddy, but this rediscovery of her early days is really lovely and unexpected.
Maisie Williams is so good.
Do we think Littlefinger knows about Jon’s parentage?
It seems as though Yara is still alive.
Two Sand Snakes down. One (and Mama) to go. But you gotta figure Cersei’s gonna take care of them next week. Dreams really do come true.
NEXT WEEK: Freddie Mercury is the champion, Casterly Rock invasion, and J-Snow and D-Baby together at last. Will they fuck?
#game of thrones#stormborn#daenerys#jonsnow#hbo#songoficeandfire#georgerrmartin#tyrion#sansa#stark#lannister#cersei#theon#euron#greyjoy#episode2#season7
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The Consequences of Your Actions Chapter 2
Ship: Syndianite (Tom x S1 Dianite)
Summary: Vampire AU! Dianite has had many lovers over the years. Some were mere playthings, meant to pass the time. Others were passionate loves, a fire raging until their inevitable demise. Very few were of the immortal variety, most searching for a power grab, others enthralled by his image. One was different, one was special. And he’d be damned if he was going to let him slip away.
Chapter: 2/?
AN: Still too lazy to make a new summary for each chapter. Whoops. I’ve spent the entire day off sleeping and playing Minecraft. It’s weird not having something to do. My online class is done, no camp today, no work today. It was n i c e. Now to the fic!
Chapter 2
Though the night was over and the sun had begun its ascension, many vampires mulled about. Most found themselves carefully reconstructing their office, deeming what was salvageable and what needed to be replaced. Amidst these people were ones scouring through information, from paperwork, from video feeds, from supposed sightings, anything the internet could provide. Each had one purpose: find Mianite or one of his lackeys. And for their Lord, and even their own personal grudges, they were determined to do so.
Furia, the Head Advisor to the Lord, was overseeing this operation. Between hunting down the filthy Mianitees mere hours before, and working through the chaos and daylight hours, he was fucking exhausted. And the ones he was watching and, at times, helping, were coming up with nothing. Even the part of the city Dianite had handed over was untouched by the insolent faction. Instead, something rather… peculiar was taking place. The humans were changing.
The particular district he was observing was a quieter townhouse block. Many families lived there, with young and older children, elderly living the rest of their lives in peace, and even the impoverished made up one section of the neighborhood. (Dianite had assigned people to look into support systems for them, claimed that no potential child of his was to be forced to survive under such horrendous conditions. Furia assumed that meant he felt bad for the humans). Where they would naturally have been out and about, the children being herded off to school in a stout bus packing to the brim, adults prepping themselves up for another shift at work, and the elderly taking their positions on the front porch to call across the street to each other the latest gossip, few were up.
Today, a handful of kids meandered over their bus stops, seemingly dazed, as though they had not slept enough. Most of the adults seemed to stare listlessly at their breakfast, the TV, their cars. Even the elderly, somehow energetic for their years, were startlingly quiet. Upon closer look, they almost appeared… paranoid? Some of those who were delighted to waddle out to their porched and checked it with a quick glance before locking their doors, keen on simultaneously appearing to be absent of their homes, while having every light on. This was in no way normal for their humans.
The Advisor was unnerved, so to speak. These developments meant more to him than the others, who were still searching for Mianite. His Lord shared many secrets with him, including the growing threat of The Shadows. The first time he had heard of them was when one of their own, who had chosen to vacation beyond the city, mentioned the strange corruption he had seen in towns he had passed. Others in their group, the young vampire had recounted, spoke of these strange shadows creeping into their homes. The only reason most had noticed them was due to the general avoidance the strange intruders had towards fire. With most of Dianite’s following harboring some sort of pyrokinesis, this information was confirmed by many sources.
So far, the people they had watching its movement, (just two, for the sake of simplicity, and to keep the information closer at hand), found that it could not corrupt their group. They theorized that the presence of pyrokinesis in the following, essentially an inner fire for each vampire, kept the shadows at bay when they came too close. However, it could easily take anyone who was either unaware, or not ‘strong’ enough to counteract it. They had yet to discover what you had to have strength in, watching both the smallest of children and the largest of adults resist the change. So far, only a measly 2% managed to evade corruption. And if the symptoms they described in the people fighting the corruption were universal, Furia found that this district was falling to it.
“Keep searching. If you don’t find anything in,” he spared a glance at the closest clock, reading 7:42 am, he continued, “say, the next hour and 45 minutes, go rest. We can have someone fill in if we are in such need.” With a small bit of grandeur, Furia strode from the room, calling the elevator. The ride to the next floor was silent and tense. Though he stewed in the implications of this recent development, he wasn’t sure how far it would go.
As the elevator doors opened, Furia could feel a rise in temperature. He wasn’t surprised. He had seen the turning of many fledglings, and they each found solace in both the presence of their lord, and heat. This could commonly be attributed to the instilling fire powers most, if not all, came into. He had a feeling, with Tom, it would be a bit different. And lo and behold, he was right.
Where a typical fledgling would be fidgety, itching to test new abilities and explore, Tom stayed nestled up against Dianite, nosing along his jaw and almost purring, however that worked. The Lord, though he had his lover secured rather well on his lap, was conducting his own investigation of Mianite’s whereabouts, his eyes glowing with telltale distance. It was likely he was communicating through one of his subjects with an outside source. He would put some money on the contact being his sister and Lady Ianite of the North. (The south was mostly divided between the three, with a middle portion remaining the most neutral place).
He took the moment to plop down in an armchair next to the loveseat they were sprawled in. Knowing Dia was aware of his presence, he leaned his head back with a tired groan. Eyes closed, he blanked out for what felt like minutes, but was, in reality, a solid twenty minutes.
“Furia?” He peeked one eye open begrudgingly, looking over at the Lord. He was facing the Advisor, giving his full attention, with the exception of having pulled Tom down to curl up against his chest. The groggy vampire began without holding back, “We have yet to find any trace of Mianite.” Based on the irritated look he received Dianite held no information on his brother either. “However, I noticed on particular problem: The shadows have made a move into our territory.
Though the Lord kept any emotion from his face, Furia could tell by the way he pulled Tom impossibly closer that this greatly worried him. He was silent for a moment, before beginning his querying, “How far?” Furia recounted what he had seen, giving him the comparison between the feed and what their lookouts had seen previously. “Bring the Modesteps back in. We’ll need anything new they have gathered,” the Lord ordered, adding as a last thought, “We’ll have to add more people to the watch. How are we faring at the moment?” Furia looked Dianite dead in the eye. “I feel like I pranced through the daylight in nothing but a bikini and then decided to let myself be run over by a steamroller. Everyone looks like a goddamn zombie.” He broke off with a bright smile. “We’re doing just peachy, thank you. Everything will be better when we have Mianite’s head on a silver platter.” With a flourish, he stood once more, ignoring the dizziness that poked at him. “We’ll live. Just don’t let Tom leave the building. We can take care of most of this for the time being.”
Before Furia left the room, the Lord shouted one thing after him, “Don’t fucking overwork yourselves! Just because you all love working your asses off, it doesn’t mean I want to walk down and see a bunch of children passed out on the floor.” And then he found his way to the elevator, preparing himself to relay his newest instructions.
~
Ianite knew her brothers had problems. She had seen the petty squabbles they initiated, how they tirelessly found new ways to fuck each other over. But she had long since deemed significant others off bounds. Of the few times she stepped in to keep the city intact, the bloodiest was by far the one time one of their lovers was involved. It had been Miante’s second vampire partner, Jessica. Though Ianite was never particularly fond of her, the lust for power in her eyes always present, the Western Lord was enthralled by her. Her beauty, her grace, her easy manipulation, it was nothing in the face of battle. As she foolishly charged Dianite, confident in her ability to take him, she was cut through like paper. Her body had hit the floor in two parts, the upper portion of her body, missing parts of her arms, and the rest of it, with two stretched out hands flopped to the ground uselessly.
She had barely been able to end Mianite’s rage as he tore at their brother, one of the closest times Dia had come to losing more than the fight. After that, she instilled one of her first rules: Do not attack each other’s lovers. So, when she heard the deafening screeches ringing through the city, she did not immediately assume Tom had been assaulted. As a coppery smell found its way into her nest, she had not figured out that Dianite was forced to take the one action he feared would lose him his lover. When she approached her window to see the signs of death far off into the West, she failed to notice the darkness crawling into the East.
When Antony Grager, Dianite’s emergency correspondent for contacting the other siblings, apparated before her, she had been prepared for terrible news, not the worst. She was desperate to believe Mianite wouldn’t go to such measures, especially when the two hadn’t been at odds in the last month. Tom was one of her favorites, of all of Dianite’s significant others. Though he always tried to be some sort of gentleman around her, he won her over by his goofiness and sheer force of will. At one point, he had convinced a startling amount of her following that he was a vampire capable of withstanding the sun’s rays without receiving terrible injury.
As she learned more about the situation, about what happened to Tom, she worried for him. Humans all reacted to turning differently, though more positively the more they wanted it. But at one point, either wanting it too much, or absolutely rejecting the idea, it breaks their mind, leaving them a psychotic shell of themselves. There was no way to know what frame of mind the human had been in, what frame of mind he was in now. Sending her thoughts to her spy, she tried to quell her anxieties. Dianite had asked her to locate Miante, and for Tom, she was willing to step out of her neutrality once more.
~
Darry Adam Ranger was a single father, working two jobs to raise his precious baby girl, Alexa. He worked the morning shift at a small corner side dinner called Sally’s Sandwhiches, and the afternoon shift at West Side Bowling. His life was far from glamourous, but coming home to see his darling daughter’s face, bright, healthy, and happy, was the highlight of his day.
Today, however, he couldn’t shake the sense of dread within him. The regulars to the Saturday morning brunch did not show, a nice family of two elderly women and their darling grandson. Though his parents were moved out of the city, he always made time for them, to catch up. None of them showed. Even his unrealistically happy manager, Susan, was off her game today. Her chipper attitude was replaced by snapping commands and irritated scowls.
So, when the man made his way home for lunch break, he was not ready to see Mary, his lovely neighbor and babysitter, who refused to be paid, sitting anxiously at his steps. With panicked, she rushed over to him, prattling on about how, “There’s a demon inside! He snatched Alexa, and John, and locking them in. I can’t get into my house, or yours, and I don’t know if they’re alive.” Without a thought, he jammed his key into the lock, wrenching the door open.
“Alexa,” he called out, “Alexa!” Maneuvering around the house, he finally came face to face with the door leading to her room. He shoved it open, prepared to attack whoever threatened his baby girl, when all he saw was her, sitting innocently on the floor. Sighing with relief, he bends down to pick her up, just about to yell back to Mary that Alexa is safe, but John wasn’t there, when he was thrown back. Eyes wide, he scrambled up to see an inky blackness pouring from his girl, a wail erupting from the merged figures. Faster than he could blink, it launches forward, clawing at his face and pushing down his mouth. As it starts to pour around his eyes, he blacks out. Minutes later, as his eyes are opened once more, it is not Darry Ranger who returns to consciousness.
(AN: I was trying so hard not to lose what i was writing, as i was rather....... distracted XD Its sooooo worth it though. I swear, all I can think about now is pure smut. Its a blessing and a curse)
#Syndianite#Diacate#TomxDianite#DianitexTom#SyndicatexDianite#DianitexSyndiacte#Mianite#MianiteS1#now i have to write smut#its 1 am but i gotta#dont worry about distracting me#i love every second of it
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“No Small Affair”
-an odd, wonderful, joyous teen comedy that resonates quite well, even over patches of sparseness
-it lingers in the mind due to the strong direction and especially the magnificent, tender cinematography
-no surprise, as the main character is a photographer, and there is a warm blanket of nostalgia by both the writer, director, and cinematographer
-I actually really really enjoyed Jon cryer’s acting here, he plays a earnest vulnerability surrounded by a wall of faux cynical protection
-nice bit with all the frame with a frame as cryer’s character tries to photograph moments of empty space and animals,
+he wearily notes how he cannot stand humans
-I can’t tell if his character’s voice over narration was part of the original intent, or a boardroom note.
+It comes off as unintentionally clumsy in the first twenty minutes or so (as does the music)
-I laugh as I see cryer’s father figure(really step father) is played by Jeffry tambour. He really filled in that niche early, didn’t he?
-funny bit where cryer talks to his mom about his brother bringing home another fiancé, which leads them to argue about whether or not he is just saying that so he can sleep with them with impunity
-great visual moment where Cryer notices that he accidentally did snap a shot of a human and, more shockingly, he likes her.
+He then proceeds to blow up several photos of her, assembling them in his wall like a giant jigsaw piece
-the mysterious woman is played by Demi Moore, who handles the role with good cheer
-I must stress that cryer’s character is 16, and combined with his numbness to his family (and those feelings coming out obtusely) this makes clear why cryer does certain acts but does not condone them
-Tim Robbins plays a wanna be punk dork, and he has his moments
-cryer is getting TV eyed by this nerdy girl who loves arcade games with coke sized glasses, and her thirst is palpable
-personally I think this girl is way more of a catch than Demi moore’s character, but there is no accounting for taste
-the fact that she’s played by Jennifer Tilly at the dawn of her jaw dropping beauty and attitude doesn’t hurt
-ok, now cryer’s brother and his fiancé is revealed and she is played by Elizabeth Daily (“Dottie” from pee wee, the singer of the title song of “Better Off Dead”)
+this director has an eye for interesting and stunning women
-Demi Moore is finally found, and she is a singer in a band, reminding me of that early tori amos album where she did all that hair metal/“material girl” stuff that just didn’t suit her
-cryer’s brother is a tall glass of knucklehead with a thin layer of good hearted slobbering dog
-cryer’s awkwardness is like a beacon in the night
-there is an odd subtext of cryer’s character being a minor wandering in strange lands he shouldn’t
-the next day he goes back to the bar and overhears Moore arguing with her guitarists; perplexing moment where the guitarist says he is too old at 28 for bands and if he doesn’t make it young, he’s out the game (I call chickenshit)
-Moore goes to the aquarium to see a tumor fish to calm down
-cryer ingratiates himself to Moore in a bewildering way
-cryer’s brother has a bachelor party where they all buy him an escort; leading him to drolly note “there’s only one room in this apartment; where we gonna do it?”
-so cryer takes a under aged drink (first of many) and suggests they go see Moore sing
-the escort is touched by this tells cryer he can have her
-cryer’s blushing is a thing of beauty
-this is definitely a 70’s vibe where pretty much anything goes,
-cryer is too shy but meekly asks for a hug; the escorts laugh and adds “now that is a first”
- cryer’s mom catches them (they hilariously share a pillow to cover themselves-although cryer is still wearing underwear) and the escort excuses herself
+ kids in the 80’s got away with everything
-cryer boyishly finds Moore again and tries to connect more
-I don’t believe for a second Moore finds anything of loving value in cryer, but I do believe she loves the attention-the desire to be loved as a icon; in turn he can only appreciate her on a surface level
+ this disconnected relationship gives the film a unique emotional registry
-Moore follows cryer to school and wants to be photographed again, shocking his classmates
-again, cryer ignores the cauldron of lust that is Jennifer Tilly’s arcade girl, and I just gotta wonder why
-what is tambour even talking about with being a dope smoking kid who grew up? I find this a pretty accurate summation of a certain group of people who can’t accept they aren’t hip anymore. Pretty funny
-I also laugh at the fact the owner of the bar Moore plays at is acted by George Wendt, who did a pretty gotdamn similar role in TV.
+I guess bar crawls are a mixed media thing
-this 80’s montage is one of the very, very best I have seen; the great cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmund is texturing every shot in this film with outstanding lighting and angles
+ it parts the oceans to let the synth music land like a ufo
-funny spot where cryer is trying to take moore’s picture, but a couple asks for a photo of them, so in one long double speed shot cryer runs around and takes twenty shots of them
+kinda reminds me of “A Clockwork Orange” or “Benny Hill”
-in one of the best sequences of the whole film, cryer and moore crash a wedding for free food and drink; while she’s in the bathroom cryer is accosted by the father who demands money
+his sputtering is a joy to behold
-cryer gets Moore to sing, and she totally slows down his style to do a cover of a old standard, essentially turning into a 80’s Norah jones
-this is where the film really gets cooking, this pause and abstraction shows that even with the robo music, there was a artistic bent to directors in 80’s films if they had the courage to pursue it
-this is definitely one of the most 80’s films I have ever seen; I mean that as a compliment
-in that it is a series of escapades, very loosely connected, but also surprising and varied
-in a move wholly surprising and seemingly out of a young banksy, cryer takes all his money (six grand) and has his photos of her plastered on every cab in the Bay Area
-this leads to my favorite line in the film
“I’ve learned that you may be disappointed by people’s humanity, but never by their greed”
-Moore is getting all kinds of sketchy calls, realizes what happens, then freaks out and finds cryer at French class
-the French teaching is both irked and delighted at being told to fuck off in French
-cryer’s reasoning is so perfectly adolescent, and so starkly sad in his inability to differentiate true feelings and obsessions
-so after they part he goes to drink himself to death
-Moore is talked back into singing at her old bar (people are waiting around the block to see her) and she stuns then with her throaty renditions of older songs, perhaps proving people don’t want a new drug, just one in a newer suit
-I’d call bullshit but every five years some other sparkling turd carries on the baton
+ thus proving “same as it ever was”
-cryer has a trash bag apparel, to die like the garbage he feels he is
-thank gawd “Dottie” is here to take slobbering dog brother to find him, and then slobber bro breaks his foot on the bike
-funny jump cut to said foot
-as cryer finds out that Moore “loves” him he goes back to her apartment (which I neglected to mention is bohemian to the extreme) where she tells him thank you, and now she must go to Los Angeles
-cryer comes off as rather small here for selfishly wanting her, but, again, he is sixteen and has no healthy emotional support
-this clearly didn’t blip as a problem at the time, but now moore’s young twenties character is clearly doing statutory assault
-but I guess it’s love (or something approaching it) so sure why not
-ok, funniest moment of the film, where cryer (in bed next to Moore) calls his mom(in bed next to tambour) and says he won’t be coming home tonight
+tambour says to say goodnight and then takes the phone and says “good job, son”
-like he knew without ever seeing it; he just had a hunch
-this is the first time I’ve ever seen a couple naked in bed calling another (let alone older) couple naked in bed
+ usually it’s a lawyer or some shit
-a long lingering look at each other in a airport, then off forever
-why am I getting recollection of “la la land”?
-so this airport has a arcade
-cryer remembers his brother saying that “love only happens once, but sex washes off” (source?)
-so, finally, (and with one more montage to establish all her past horniness) cryer goes to Tilly’s arcade girl to see if he can gobble her ms pac man fruit
-this is a very kitsch, offbeat teen humored film that is a series of escapades; there is a weird alternatively randy and sentimental vibe that permeates it; it’s also a blast and I can’t recommend it enough
#no small affair#jerry schatzberg#jon cryer#demi moore#jeffrey tambor#new beverly cinema#jennifer tilly#elizabeth daily#new bev#vilmos zsigmond#long reads#film#art
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In depth analysis on Destiel [S6-S7]
6x03: Sam mentions that Castiel never answers when he prays to him and that Dean should try because Castiel always comes for him. Dean tries it and LO AND BEHOLD.
6x03: Castiel tells Sam the and Dean Share a more profound bond in a voice that kind of says “Yeah. Dean and I are MORE than friends” lol
6x03: When other people point out the "profound bond" that Dean and Castiel share, Dean always goes quiet & never denies it.
6x05: The boys hit up a bar and while they’re there, there’s a shot of a tall sandy haired guy kissing a short dark haired man. #subtext
6x05: Souless!Sam doesn’t give a flying fudge & Dean keeps looking nervously over at Sam as if trying to see if he has a reaction towards gay folks. Maybe he’s been wanting brotherly approval????hmmmmm
6x06: Castiel appears after Dean mentions a divine weapon but it turns out he wants to talk more about Sam. Castiel acts like he doesn’t care but he eventually folds & tells Dean he will help with Sam too. He can’t stand to see Dean upset
6x10: Castiel & Meg make out and the look on Dean’s face is pretty much the textbook example of “what the fuck” and jealousy combined.
6x10: The infamous “pizza man” scene where Castiel watches porn in the room with Sam & Dean present. Sam is mostly amused while Dean is visibly flustered.
6x10: Dean points out that Castiel has a boner. How would you know unless you were lookin? HUH DEAN?
6x10: Castiel says he is losing the war in heaven and would much rather be on earth with Dean.
6x15: The term "French Mistake" refers to a straight guy having a gay sexual encounter he later regrets. Nuff said.
6x15: Balthazar tells the Winchesters that Raphael is trying to kill “Cassie” and his allies. When he mentions Castiel is currently hiding, Dean looks relieved.
6x15: In the French Mistake universe, Dean immediately prays to Castiel and lo and behold, Misha Collins shows up.
6x15: Dean seems offended at everyone’s real names on set, particularly focusing on Misha. (Excuse me while I melt over Cockles)
6x17: Dean is open about lamenting the fact that he can’t have Castiel constantly by his side anymore and he gets bitchy about it.
6x17: When Castiel admits he’s not doing very well, Dean instantly stops being a jerk and starts cutting him slack & “mother hen-ing” Castiel.
6x17: He once again admits he’d rather be with Sam & Dean than fulfilling his heavenly duties.
6x17: Castiel has Balthazar sink the Titanic again to save Dean and Sam from Fate.
6x17: Let’s not forget this whole thing - "I'm sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who's in love with you?"
6x18: Dean prays to Castiel but an another angel shows up. Dean is visibly let down.
6x18: Castiel shows up shortly after and dismisses the other angel. It’s almost as if Castiel doesn’t trust other angels around his PRECIOUS Dean
6x18: Rachel is unhappy that Castiel is more worried about Dean and Sam than Raphael and she tries to kill him. Where does Castiel go? The only place he knows where there’s safety with the boys - Bobby’s.
6x18: Castiel resorts to DESPERATE measures of touching Bobby’s soul to be able to save Dean & Sam from the past even though he is terribly hurt.
6x19: Everyone is teasing him and giving Dean a hard time about how Castiel only loves him and Dean gets visibly flustered over it.
6x19: THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE. Dean is arguing that he shouldn’t have to be the one to call Castiel and says “It’s not like Cass lives in my ass”
6x19: Naturally, Castiel appears immediately after, right behind Dean. Prompting him to yell “CASS GET OUT OF MY ASS”. Castiel response with a confused “I was never in your......” Do I sense some longing maybe????
6x19: When Dean has to leave, Castiel pleads with Dean to stay and help him. This is emotion we rarely see in Castiel - and when we see it, it is only directed towards Dean
6x19: Followed by some intense eye sex
6x19: The music playing in the background as Castiel longingly watches Dean leave does nothing but solidify romance tropes.
6x20: This whole episode is a destiel shippers dream.
6x20: Dean absolutely refuses to believe Castiel is working with Crowley.
6x20: Castiel spies on Dean and shoots him a long heartbreaking, mournful look.
6x20: In the context of what goes on during this episode, Crowley is pretty much “the other woman”compared to Dean and that’s why Dean takes it so PERSONAL when he finds out.
6x20: Castiel responds with the “let me explain” which is a trope for when lovers are caught cheating/being unfaithful. Hmmm I wonder.
6x20: Earlier in the episode Castiel talks to Crowley and the song Me and Mrs. Jones is playing in the background. That song is about cheating.
6x20: When Bobby, Sam & Dean are talking about Castiel going darkside, Castiel is compared to being Superman going darkside and Dean compares himself to Lois Lane. *Screaming SUBBBBTEXXXT*
6x20: When Dean turns back to look at Castiel one last time, he looks like he is about to cry.
6x21: Even though this is an episode involving Lisa, it plays out like a breakup between Dean and Castiel.
6x21: Although Dean does worry about Lisa and Ben, it’s clear that Castiel comes first to him.
6x21: Castiel rebelling against heaven is due 100 percent to Castiel caring about Dean. This has been confirmed by both the writers and Misha collins.
6x21: In the same vein, Castiel working with Crowley was 100% fueled by Castiel not wanting to trouble Dean with asking for help. He decided to work with Crowley to not put Dean through any unnecessary stress.
6x22: Dean is worried that Castiel's power is affecting his mind and that he could "kill us all." He reminds Castiel that he is family and tells him that he doesn't want to lose him.
6x22: Castiel says that he has no family anymore and Dean looks visibly distraught in so many ways.
6x22: When Castiel announced himself to be the new God. Both Sam and Dean look on in horror but Dean’s face holds noticeable differences. You can see the heartbreak on it.
7x01: Castiel admits straight off the bat that the ONLY reason he became Godstiel is because he wanted to earn Dean’s love. “What’s the point if you don’t mean it? You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear”
7x01: THE FIRST THING CASTIEL DOES WHEN HE BECOMES GOD IS KILL A PRIEST WHO WAS BASHING HOMOSEXUALITY.
7x01: “You’re wrong, I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation”
7x01: Dean is watching a news report about the incident and he clenches his jaw and gets angry when a lady calls godstiel sexy. Dean turns off the tv in a jealous huff.
7x01: During the ritual to return souls to purgatory, Castiel starts to fall and Dean is immediately to catch his husband.
7x01: When the portal to purgatory opens, Castiel turns to Dean and says “I’m, Sorry Dean” with a look of pure regret and anguish on his face
7x01: When Castiel survives, he admits he didn’t expect to. castiel had chosen to not say goodbye so the last thing he said before he died was dean’s name.
7x01: Dean thinks Castiel is dead and is completely crushed.
7x01: When Castiel turns out to still be alive, the look of pure joy on Dean’s face is incredible.
7x01: Castiel says he will redeem himself to Dean and Dean simply responds with “one thing at a time” - were it anybody else, Dean would have killed them right then and there for surviving.
7x01: When the Leviathan overpower Castiel and tell Dean Castiel is dead, Dean collapses in misery and heartbreak.
7x01: Leviathan!Cas pulls Dean close and their faces are just inches apart, the whole time, he is staring at Dean’s lips.
7x01: (In a later episode, a Leviathan tells Dean they knew everything Castiel knew....maybe that’s why Leviathan!cas was staring at Dean’s lips??? They knew he was in lurrrvvvee with Dean)
7x02: Castiel explodes under water, leaving only his trenchcoat. Dean longingly picks up the trench, folds it, and takes it with him *cries*
7x02: He folds it the same way flags for dead soldiers are folded.
7x02: Bobby points out that the bond Castiel & Dean had was strong and kind of leaves what they “had” open to interpretation.
7x03: Dean sees Sam/Amy as a direct parallel to Cas/Dean which is a relationship between a supernatural being and a Winchester boy who fell in love with them when he was too stupid not to.
7x03: Dean thinks Cas betrayed him, and that he should have killed Cas when he had the chance, and he projects that guilt onto Sam and Amy. Killing Amy is basically Dean trying to do it right this time
7x04: Dean has to pretty much fight with himself to convince himself to go through with his first one night stand in a long time. Now that his husband is gone, he’s trying to play the field again
7x05: Parallel to the Sam/Dean relationship, there's some notes of Dean/Cas. “Obviously you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven’t, huh? Which means, that you two, you still value… whatever it is you’ve got. And you want to keep that dance going.”
7x06: The radio plays “all out of love” and Sam goes to change it, Dean leaves it on and starts singing for a long while. He looks mournful. As if he’s mourning losing his love.
7x07: “ Ever since Cas, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody.”
7x07: The episode ends with a shot of Castiel’s trenchcoat riding in the back seat of the impala with them - right next to a pony that has wings...
7x08: The drugged turducken slammer is suggestive to dean’s psyche and allows him to speak what’s on his mind and has been bothering him.
7x08: He finally admits what hurts him on the inside “Are you kidding? I’m fine! I — I actually feel great. The best I’ve felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don’t even care anymore. And you know what’s even better? I don’t care that I don’t care”
7x08: You would think what was bothering him was Castiel’s betrayal, or Castiel becoming god, or Sam’s mental problems, or the Leviathan but NOPE. Castiel’s death was it.
7x17: Emmanuel!Cas doesn’t care that a demon just held his wife captive, all he cares about is Dean even though he doesn’t remember him. He can’t stop staring at Dean.
7x17: Emmanuel asks Dean if he was the one who betrayed them and Dean looks like this but doesn’t answer.
7x17: Later on in the episode, Castiel regains his memory and the whole scene looks and sounds like a fan slash video lol
7x17: during the whole flashback scene, ALL CASTIEL REMEMBERS is things involving Dean.
7x17: “I remember you. I remember everything” While looking straight at Dean.
7x17: Dean still had Castiel’s trench coat despite having changed cars up to 7 times since Castiel exploded in the river. He never washed it. It’s like he wanted to keep Castiel’s scent on it.
7x17: He gives it back to his husband and follows up with “ "part of me always believed you'd come back.” *sobbing ugly tears*
7x21: “ The Angels, they don’t care. I think maybe they just don’t have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just breaks them apart.” and he looks off in the distance looking sad. Maybe he’s projecting what he felt about Castiel when Castiel tries to feel/do good?
7x23: Meg tells Dean that Castiel was his boyfriend first lol.
7x23: Dean says “ Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees.” when talking about how nutty Castiel is and Sam says he’s not sorry he missed that. Dean only shrugs.
7x23: Castiel asks Dean if he looks like good to him and there’s an awkward pause as if Dean wants to say yes.
7x23: Castiel says he no longer condones violence but when Dick attacks Dean, Castiel gets protective and throws Dick across the room to protect Dean.
7x23: He draws attention to himself when Hester zeroes in on Dean
7x23: When they’re trapped in purgatory during the ending, it very heavily implies that they’re going to have to depend on each other to survive and there’s a lot of contextual subtext in that small scene.
i got a lot of this from tvtropes. I think there was a lot of stuff that hadnt been touched on, little things and I mentioned them here because im overly analytical of anything involving destiel and always looking for subtext lol.
Here’s Part 1 (In Depth Analysis on Destiel [S4 & S5)
Part 3 about season 8 & 9 coming soon.
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Pride Comedy Skit (Second Argument)
So, can we talk about straight girls for a moment?
The straights are worse than the gays. Almost. At least we’re straightforward with our intentions. Straight girls will kiss on you, hug on you, grope you even, and it means nothing. Absolutely nothing! How is that? Tell me, how you grab my ass as a friend? If that’s the case, can I eat you out... As a friend? Where is the motherf- line drawn? If I have boundaries, [point] you need boundaries. I’m not talking about sexual assault, I’m talking about messing around. Don’t go grabbing me nowhere you don’t want some guy to grab you. If you ain’t tryna fuck, your hand does not – does not need to be there. Don’t be getting drunk and touchin on my titties, ‘cause I’ll tell you what... [Smirk] You wanna play all the way up until I do something, and it affects you a little too much, and suddenly, we have to stop. You know what I’m saying? That’s that shit. Straight girls are like spaghetti. I know, sounds weird, but get this: They’re both straight until they get wet.
I’m just saying, I’m just saying.
And the morning after, she’ll be all: I guess I’m gay now. [Incredulous expression] No, ma’am. Nah, honey. That ain’t how it works. Just because you experienced your first real orgasm doesn’t mean you love the cat all of a sudden. Listen, unless you want to put a ring on all this [gesture to self] – we’re just friends, and you’re just experimenting. You’re not gay. You’re not kind of gay. You ain’t nothin’’ you don’t wanna be. A night with me just means you had a good night, okay?
On tv, they love to include one gay character in the midst of all their heterosexual bullshit. Name me one gay person who hangs out with the straights on purpose? I don’t know if y’all noticed this, but gays travel in packs. It’s just like that one token black kid they throw in somewhere, so nobody can claim they’re racist. But like – We know the truth. And we know, because you can’t even fake it, right. Just like when they made Clarke and Lexa a thing on “The 100,” then lo and behold, Lexa is dead. Why y’all making characters gay, just so we can get attached, and you kill them?! What kinda shit is that?
[Mockingly] Oh, we’re not homophobic, because at least we put a fag somewhere in the mix, right?
[Deadpan] Nah. Y’all did them wrong, and you know you did.
The other thing that gets me is the queerbaiting. Like, what the fuck is Pitch Perfect 3 even doing? Why are y’all even on the third movie? Pitch Perfect one shouldn’t have even happened, the fuck. I’m sorry – I’m sorry. I know I’m stepping on somebody’s toes in the audience, but hey: it’s just not a good movie. We have the lesbians, yes, but at what cost? The godawful singing, that’s what. Them bitches ruined too many of my favorite songs. I can never listen to “The Way You Are” ever again, damn it.
Anyway, have y’all seen that new trailer out? It’s literally just those two lesbians at it again. They keep teasing y’all, and y’all keep giving into it. Now, because of y’all, they done put out a trailer with Chloe and Becca being all over each other for no reason. She’s standing there with her hands on her titties – for what? We know y’all ain’t gon do nothing. It’s to create fake hype, and I’ll never forgive y’all for letting them. Neither one of those characters are going gay for each other, and I’ll put money on it. Raise your bets, you gullible asses. They’re both straight. Case closed.
And see, I can tell you how it’ll go. They’ll say something along the lines of “You’re my best friend, but if you had a dick, I’d totally be in love with you.” Bullshit. You know, straight girls are the worst. A straight girl will look you in the eye and tell you that you’re everything they’ve ever wanted. And you’re just like [hopeful expression] until she goes: if you were a guy.
Honey, let me tell you, guys like me don’t exist. Know why? ‘cause I’m a woman. I’ll let you in on a secret: there is no man that can treat a woman better than another woman. At least we know where the clit is, even if it’s by default. Hey. Ain’t no man better than a woman, and that’s just the tea.
You ever met a girl that said she’d go gay for some famous person? Shit, me too! I did. Never came back, though. Like... Girls love Rihanna, straight or not. Rihanna is just that bitch. If you’re at a Rihanna concert, good luck using your gaydar. You need a fucking NASA level radar for that shit. Everybody’s gay. Everybody. Just like Lana Del Rey and that new girl, Halsey? It’s like if you stare into their eyes, you’re hypnotized by the gay. Snap your fingers, gay.
I’ll tell you about this girl I met at a concert, then I’ll leave it alone. First of all, it was Fifth Harmony. The gays love Fifth Harmony. All of the lesbians just flock to them – [cough] - Camren is real – [cough]. But, seriously, one thing all lesbians have in common? No, not flannels - Fifth Harmony.
So, I go in thinking: these are my people. Again, everyone is gay. Everyone. You go all out and say, “I want her to sit on my face” and ten bitches will go: me too! So, I’m getting my seats situated and I see this fine girl. I’m thinking, I might have a shot. So, I’m scoping her out, you know, assessing her. She’s wearing a flannel, but around the waist. Flannels are tricky. If it’s worn like a shirt, she’s probably gay, but if it’s around the waist, you never know. The straights love to make weird fashion statements with our shit, so… I didn’t know about that one. But then, she was also wearing this snapback: backwards, though! Forward: she might a little gay… But backwards… She’s a lesbian. It’s confirmed.
So, I approach her, about to shoot my shot, you know. The conversation is going well... All until she drops the bomb on me. And I mean, she really dropped the bomb. We’d been talking about that one bisexual member, Lauren Jauregui, and how much we loved her and her coming out, how fine she is, all of that. Then she goes: I love her so much, I would turn gay for her.
[Expression drops] That was the end of our conversation. I ain’t have nothin’ else to say. I was over her, just like that.
That’s all. Thank you.
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