#11k long
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Steve doesn’t really understand how he got here. His life has definitely been weird the past few years, but he thinks that hanging out alone, with Eddie “The Freak” Munson, in his bedroom, might take the cake.
He sort of knows how it happened, after everything happened last spring, things started to settle. The town worked on rebuilding, Vecna seems to be gone, or at least maybe under control, school started back up for the kids, work resumed, everyone was just trying to get back to whatever normal was now.
And as things slowly got a little more boring, Steve found himself with more time to spend with friends and less worrying about the world ending. But as Steve started forming a friend group, Eddie Munson somehow became a part of it. Which Steve wasn’t upset about, Eddie had won him over in the upside down. He didn’t dislike Eddie, he’d actually grown on Steve a lot, which was unexpected.
As unexpected as it was, Steve still gets how it happens, but ending up alone with Eddie like this? Technically he knows how that happened too. The whole group had gotten together for a while at Eddie’s, then Robin and Nancy had decided to split up and go have their own night, complaining that there was “too much testosterone in the air”. Steve didn’t blame them and was happy to see Nancy and Robin become friends as well.
But after Jonathan and Argyle left a little early, it was just Steve and Eddie. And that’s when Steve quickly became aware of the fact that he’s never really been alone with Eddie before, and he isn’t sure why that makes him nervous. Sure, they’ve been alone but not for that long and not like this. But even still, Steve isn’t sure why he’s getting so flustered.
Eddie is smiling and telling him all about…something. Steve realizes he stopped listening a while ago, but he knows Eddie’s excited so he’s doing his best to act like he’s listening.
Eddie finishes with a “you know?”, Steve nods and hopes it’s convincing. “Where’d I lose ya, Harrington?” -it wasn’t.
Steve sighs, “Yeah, I zoned out pretty hard there.” He admits, smiling a little.
Eddie laughs, Steve’s heart flips. That’s weird. “Okay, let me try this again…”
It’s a few hours before Steve leaves Eddie’s place, they’d both completely lost track of time while talking. Eddie played some records, and Steve didn’t even hate them like he thought he would. They ended up listening to music and laying on Eddie’s floor, they hadn’t shut up in hours but suddenly the room was quiet. Eddie has his eyes closed, his hands behind his head and a soft, small smile on his face. Steve cannot look away. He keeps telling himself to look away, he knows Eddie’s gonna catch him staring. Steve is searching Eddie’s face for answers, but he doesn’t know what questions he’s asking. His heart is racing and his hands are starting to feel like static, and he can’t look away.
And then it happens, Eddie’s eyes open slowly and he turns his head to face Steve, “Like what you see, Harrington?”
Steve’s breath catches and he doesn’t know why. “Yeah-“ he realizes what he says, as it comes out of his mouth. “I mean no-“ he finally tears his eyes away from Eddie to close them and run a hand over his face. “I mean, wait-“
Eddie laughs, “If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you had a crush on me.” He looks away from Steve and grins at the ceiling.
Steve lets that repeat in his head, and it keeps repeating. His chest feels tight and his face is hot, shit he knows he’s blushing. He shakes his head, hoping the thoughts will just fly out. “No, no, no. I-I’m just-I didn’t mean to like, stare at you, I was thinking and I just-“ he is falling over his words, he isn’t even sure how he’s talking, the only thing he can hear right now is Eddie’s voice still echoing in the back of his mind.
A big smile spreads on Eddie’s face slowly, he’s the one staring now. “I was joking, jesus.” He chuckles lightly.
Steve starts to feel a little more relaxed, but he still feels like he’s…drunk? high? dreaming? He turns his head again and locks eyes with Eddie, the second he does his heart flips again and he makes a note to see a fucking doctor.
Neither of them say anything for a second, it feels like a lot longer to Steve. He’s never felt this self conscious before. He’s so aware of how much space is between he and Eddie, it’s less than a foot, and Steve can suddenly feel the heat coming from the boy next to him. He starts to wonder seriously if maybe he is dreaming, and then he finally pulls his eyes away from Eddie’s to the clock on Eddie’s dresser. “Holy shit, it’s late.” He says sitting up, “I completely forgot I have to work in the morning. I better go.”
Eddie sits up too and watches as Steve stands up and grabs his jacket off of the bed frame. “Lame.” He says, standing up to follow Steve out. “but responsible.”
When they say goodbye, Steve keeps thinking he’s forgetting something. He’s checked his pockets like ten times, he knows he’s good, what is he missing? He realizes as he’s walking to his car that he just doesn’t really want to leave, he wants to stay. He wants to keep listening to records and he wants to keep laying next to Eddie.
When he starts driving away, he glances back he notices Eddie, still leaning against his doorframe, still watching Steve. That’s when Steve starts hearing Eddie’s stupid joke playing in his head again.
And he hears it over and over and over, the rest of the night. He hears it when he drives home, he hears it when he showers, as he brushes his teeth, and it’s the loudest when he tries to sleep. He tosses and turns for hours, unable to stop replaying the night in his head, unable to think about anything but Eddie Munson. Usually he’d be grateful for a night with no flashes of monsters and death in his mind, but tonight he thinks he might prefer it.
Around 2am he sits up, throws his blanket to the side in frustration and just sits on the side of his bed for a minute. He debates going downstairs and just waiting out the next few hours until he has to go to work. He thinks about taking a walk, maybe that would clear his head? He’s way too tired for that though.
He just sighs and puts his head in his hands, he decides the only thing he can do right now is face it.
“If i didn’t know better, I’d say you have a crush on me, Harrington.”
He thinks about it one more time. He asks himself why is he feeling the same way he felt the first time he liked a girl, why was he as nervous at Eddie’s house as he was on his very first date? Why did his heart flip when Eddie smiled at him the same way it used to for Nancy?
Because that’s the thing, six months ago Steve was planning this big life in his head with Nancy. He was in love with her, he was attracted to her, he liked her. He doesn’t like Eddie. -Not like that.
Steve Harrington isn’t gay, he knows that. He knows that because he still thinks Nancy is beautiful, he thinks Robin is beautiful, he’s attracted to girls. Steve loves girls, he likes their long hair, he likes their soft lips, he likes boobs. If Steve knows anything, he knows he likes boobs.
Eventually he talks himself down enough to lay back down. He likes girls. He doesn’t even know why he was acting like that now, he feels like an idiot.
So, of course his heart wasn’t doing flips because he likes Eddie. He was tired, he was distracted, and it was his first time one on one with his new friend. He was just a little nervous? Yeah, no, he was just a little nervous. He likes girls. He didn’t think that when Eddie smiles the world feels brighter, and he definitely didn’t notice that Eddie’s hand accidentally brushed against his when they were talking, and he never even thought about how those brown eyes would just light up when Eddie got excited.
Steve likes girls. He likes girls with long, wild hair, he likes girls with big brown eyes, he likes girls with soft lips, he likes girls with tattoos, he likes girls with ripped jeans, he likes girls who play weird dorky games, he likes girls who listen to heavy metal, he likes girls who look at him for a little too long while they lay on the floor together. Steve likes girls.
And that’s what he tells himself the rest of the night, but the rest of the night only lasts a minute or two before he finally falls into a peaceful sleep.
He wishes. Instead he’s tossed right back into Eddie’s room, the faint sounds of guitars and laughter fill the space, brown eyes on him again. Maybe it is a little peaceful, until he hears his alarm.
He wakes up, the room finally bright again, he barely recognizes it after spending so long tossing and turning in the dark last night. He sits up and shuts his alarm off, he sleepily makes his way to the bathroom and somewhere between brushing his teeth and getting dressed he remembers his dream. He just remembers flashes, bits and pieces. He remembers Eddie. He tells himself it’s not a big deal, even though something in him is begging to disagree.
He ends up being a couple minutes late, and when he gets in he expects to hear Robin giving him shit about it, but instead he hears “What happened?”
He furrows his brow and looks at Robin, who is giving him a look for some reason. “Hmm?” he barely had the energy for that reply, but he makes his way in and throws his jacket on the counter as he gets the rest of his things ready.
“You look awful, Harrington.” Robin says from behind him, “Are you sick?”
Steve blinks, and turns to face her. “Actually, you know what?” He laughs a little, and Robin gives him a concerned look. “Yeah, maybe. Maybe.” It all makes sense, that’s gotta be it. He’s sick. He’s coming down with something and he’s just getting confused because he’s sick. He’s just sick. “You know, that would explain it. I’ve been feeling so weird.”
Robin frowns a little, “Do you need to go home? What’s wrong? fever? Chills? Headache? You know, I was reading this magazine with Nancy last night and it said that you could cure almost anything with tea-“
“I’m good, I’m good.” Steve smiles, cutting Robin off. “I don’t feel sick, but no like I’m probably about to be sick or something.” He rationalizes out loud. “I barely slept, I was up all night.”
Robin gives him a weird look, “Wait, you don’t feel sick? Why were you up all night?”
Shit. Now he doesn’t know what to say, he usually finds it hard to lie to Robin. Steve thinks her habit of oversharing must be contagious. He opens his mouth to reply, but closes it and just kinda shrugs. But she’s still looking at him, confused. “I was just…I couldn’t sleep.”
“Yeah?” She looks him over for a second before going back to her stack of returned VHS tapes she’s sorting through, without looking up she asks “How long did you stay at Eddie’s after Nance and I left?”
Steve looks at her out of the corner of his eye for a second, “I was there a while, I dunno.” He says quietly, pretending to be reading the cover of the movie in his hands. “I uh, I ended up listening to records with Eddie for a few hours.”
“A few hours?” Robin looks at him again, “With, like- you and Eddie alone?”
He doesn’t know what to say, or why Robin is asking like that. He’s had enough of confusion and questions in the past how every many hours, he just looks at Robin for a second, takes a breath as if he’s gonna say something and decides against it again, instead he simply walks away with the VHS still in his hands. He doesn’t even know what it is, he glances down and reads the title for real this time. It goes on the other side of the store, he turns and pretends he doesn’t notice Robin following him.
“Like just the two of you?” She asks again, on his heels. “Have you ever even been alone before?
He puts the tape away and sighs. “Yeah, we were alone. I don’t see why that’s a big deal.” He crosses his arms.
“What?” She scoffs. “It’s not, it’s just you guys are kind of…” She trails off and Steve raises an eye brow at her, “opposites.” she finishes.
Steve relaxes, he doesn’t know why he got so nervous. He doesn’t know why he thinks that Robin would think…-okay, he’s overthinking things. “I don’t know, he’s cool.” He shrugs, avoiding looking at Robin. “I guess we’re friends now.”
Robin nods slowly. “Just when I thought I’d seen it all, King Steve listening to heavy metal with the town weirdo.” She snorts softly. “Now that’s something.”
He rolls his eyes. “Let’s just do our jobs for once, okay?”
The rest of their shift goes by completely normally, it’s a slow day, there’s not a ton to do and they’re just about finished for the day so they have time to sit around and talk. Steve is thankful for the downtime, he is exhausted and all he can think about is going home and going to sleep.
He’s doing his best to not doze off right now, sitting on the counter and talking to Robin as she organizes the candy for probably the tenth time today. She’s rambling, and it’s comforting even if Steve isn’t paying close attention.
The bell chimes from the door and Steve begrudgingly slides off the counter out of habit, he goes to turn to greet whoever came in when he hears a familiar “Hey, Harrington.” and his heart does that thing again.
He blinks a few times and keeps thinking he’s going to respond but doesn’t. He’s thought about Eddie so much these past how ever many hours that he’s not even sure if Eddie is really here or if he’s just hallucinating. But then Eddie adds, “Buckley, my lady.” with a small, dorky bow.
Robin laughs and rolls her eyes, “Thank god you showed up, it’s slow as shit and I don’t know what you did to Steve last night but he’s been falling asleep for the past half an hour.”
Steve tries so hard to say anything before Eddie can, he already knows there’s going to be some kind of retort, but Steve’s too slow.
“Sounds like I wore you out, huh big boy?” Eddie smirks and looks up at Steve as he leans his forearms against the counter.
Steve’s chest feels like his heart might just burst out of it, it’s beating so fast. “Yeah, whatever.” He rolls his eyes, wiping his palms on his pants absentmindedly, why are they sweaty? He’s sick. He’s for sure sick. “What brings you in, Munson?”
“Well I’d like to say I just missed you nerds, but believe it or not I need a movie.” He taps his knuckles on the counter quickly. “Got a date, recommend something, Steve.”
“A date?” Robin and Steve say at the same time, but with differing tones. Robin sounds interested, Steve sounds shocked.
“Oh, is that such a surprise?” Eddie rolls his eyes and makes his way to the first rack of movies he sees.
“Kinda?” Steve admits, turning to follow Eddie. “You should have Robin recommend something, she’d be better at knowing what girls like.”
Eddie looks at Steve for a second and Steve knows there’s a reason for this look, but he’s unable to figure out what it is. “Probably so.” Eddie says slowly, “But hey, you’re ‘The Hair’, I know you’ve got moves.”
“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs. He looks around for Robin and notices she’d stayed behind at the counter, he also sees that she’s been watching them. Steve takes note of that but keeps talking to Eddie, he tries to hide that his hands are shaky while he gives suggestions.
They walk and talk around the store, it feels easy but it’s not. Not for Steve at least, he feels like his brain is running on empty. After a handful of recommendations, Eddie is reading the back of a case and Steve can’t stop himself from asking “So who’s the girl?” he asks quietly, and he’s not sure why.
Eddie looks at him, “What?”
Steve attempts a small smile, “Your date?”
“Oh,” Eddie blows out a laugh, but pauses, he looks at Steve for a second and now Steve feels like maybe he’s the one with answers on his face this time because Eddie has this look, and Steve can tell he wants to say something.
Steve doesn’t break eye contact though, even though his brain is begging him to stop looking at Eddie, he can’t. He isn’t sure why his eyes betray him this way, but he glances at Eddie’s mouth for a second and he nearly falls over when it hits him. He kinda wants…maybe- no. Steve likes girls.
“How’s the movie search going?” Robin asks, and Steve isn’t sure when she got so close.
Eddie looks at her as if he wasn’t just looking right into Steve’s soul, he smiles “Harrington here has been a delight, you should give him a raise.”
“If i had that power, I would use it to fire him for standing around and flirting with the customers all day.” Robin says,
“Oh my god.” Steve mutters, rolls his eyes and heads for the counter. “I’ll be over here, working, if you two wanna keep doing…this.” He takes a stack of movies and wishes he knew what they were for but he’s gotten pretty good at just looking like he’s working today.
Robin and Eddie stay behind, chatting. Steve tries his hardest to not listen, he’s not sure why he cares. He doesn’t care. There’s nothing to care or not care about. He does a good job at minding his business at first.
“So did you pick a movie for your date?” is all Robin says, but just the word date is enough to get Steve’s attention. But, he doesn’t care. He’s screaming in his head to stop listening, but doesn’t.
“Yeah, but movie nights aren’t really about the movie, right?” Eddie says and Steve doesn’t look but he can hear his smirk. “Mostly background noise.”
Steve feels a new feeling he can’t name. It doesn’t feel like it did last night anymore. Last night was weird, but it felt better than this. This unidentified feeling feels…bad. His heart is still beating like crazy, but not quite like it was. No, now he feels kind of like he’s mad. Why is he mad? Jealous? He feels kind of jealous. No. Steve decided that’s crazy, forces himself to stop listening and just takes a breath. He’s losing it.
He gets out of his head just in time to see Eddie and Robin heading back to the counter, he reminds himself to act normal but already knows he’ll fail.
“Alright, Harrington. I’m going to listen to you but if this movie sucks i’m never taking your advice again.” He puts the movie down and Robin takes care of the rest.
Steve leans on the counter behind Robin, facing Eddie. “Listen, just rewind it before you bring it back, ‘kay?”
“Whatever you say, big boy.” Eddie says, before grabbing the movie. “Tell you what, if it doesn’t suck, you can suggest another movie and we’ll watch it together, make a night of it.”
Steve can feel his face go red. He knows Eddie did not mean it like that, he knows that. He still can’t stop the images that spark throughout his brain. He can’t help but think about how a night like that might go. He takes a shaky breath, “Yeah-“ his voice is too high, he clears his throat a little. “yeah, no movie night sounds fun.” He glances over to Robin, who is a little wide eyed and Steve can tell she’s dying to say something but she can’t. “Movie night?” He says, a little quickly, nodding. “We sh-should do a movie night with like, all of us one night. That-that could be fun?” He says, putting a hand on his hip, and he’s not sure how to stop stumbling over his words and he’s also not sure why he’s only looking at Robin now. He’s spent this whole time nearly unable to tear his eyes away from Eddie, but now he can’t get himself to look at him. “Hmm?” He adds because Robin is still silent.
She nods, “No, yeah. That would be super fun!” She says, but Steve sees her wheels turning and he desperately wants to stop them for a second because he can tell she’s about to do something. “Oh, but like, I’ve been so busy with, stuff. and Jonathan and Nancy are…you know they’re in love and they do stuff-together i mean, they spend a lot of time together, as a couple. And you know, I think if it takes us a while to find a good time you and Eddie should solo it…i guess it’s not solo if it’s together but, you could be like, alone together, kind of poetic.” She smiles. “Just saying, you know since everyone’s so busy right now, maybe you guys should go ahead.”
Steve looks at Robin with a please oh my god stop look, “Yeah.” is all he can get out.
Eddie smirks and looks between them. “Alright, I’m out of here, kids.”
“Have fun.” Robin calls out as Eddie walks toward the door.
“Always.” Eddie replies, “Later, Harrington.”
Steve can only bring himself to wave. When Eddie leaves, Steve waits about one second, looks around the store, walks over and locks the door.
“We are not closed.” Robin says, “And I don’t think closing the store is good for business.”
“What is going on?” Steve says, feeling like he’s finally cracking. “I-I mean, like all night right? Like I was up all night, and then when I finally did sleep? Guess what? That was all…messed up too. Like, I think there’s something going on.” He turns to Robin, he can tell he looks a little crazy, and his arms are swinging as he talks with his hands, “So I wake up, I go to work, and like… today?”
“I am gonna need some kind of context, or a clue, Steve.” Robin says and then glances at the door. “Oh, duh.” She adds, mostly under her breath.
“No,” Steve shakes his head, wondering if she can see into it. “whatever you’re thinking no, no.” He turns to unlock the door but stops, “That was weird, right?”
“What? You locking the door and saying gibberish?” She asks, walking past him to unlock it herself. “Yeah, a little weird.”
“You know what I’m talking about, Robin.” He says, a little louder than he meant to. “Like that whole thing at the end?” He crosses his arms, “Since when is everyone I know too busy to hang out? I saw you all yesterday!”
“I know, but I thought maybe you and Eddie should spend some more time together, you know? He said he had a great time last night, and I think you did too.”
Steve can’t stop himself, “He said he had a good time?”
“A great time.” Robin repeats with a smirk. “So?”
“I’m not-“ he starts and suddenly his throat is dry, he shakes his head a little. “I’m not-“ He tries again and fails. Robin is waiting, Steve can tell she’s gonna try to let him talk. But he’s not sure if he can. “I don’t-…”
“Shh.” She presses a finger to his lips, “you have been a crazy man today, Steve.” She walks back to the counter and sits on top of it. “Look, if you wanna talk about whatever is going on, I am here to listen, and if you want to never speak of it, well, i’ll just talk enough for both of us, yeah?”
He nods. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on.” He leans on the counter next to her. “I just, I guess like…” he trails off, and looks at her, “I don’t wanna talk.” He admits, and even he can hear how pathetic he sounds right now.
“Good, my turn.” She smiles and Steve hopes she knows how thankful he is.
He goes about the next two days as well as he can, no one has noticed that he’s been avoiding pretty much everything yet. He goes to work, he does what he needs to and he goes home. And for two days that worked, but Dustin called and asked if he wanted to go do something so Steve picked him up, and they went out for lunch and hung around Hawkins, killing time in the few stores that had rebuilt already. It was nice, and Steve felt more relaxed than he had in days.
Until on the drive to drop Dustin back off at home, Dustin suddenly says “Shit, I forgot, could you drop me off at Eddie’s?”
The request takes Steve by surprise for no reason, he does this all the time. It’s a normal thing, why would Steve care? He doesn’t. Sure, he’s been avoiding Eddie like the plague for reasons that aren’t entirely even clear to himself but this is fine. It’s fine. “Eddie’s?”
“Yeah, I almost forgot, I got a few new comics that he and I were talking about so-“
“Yeah, no, I mean, yeah I can take you to Eddie’s.” Steve nods and thinks he manages to sound mostly normal, “like his place?”
“Yes.” Dustin answers slowly. “Did you hit your head? You’ve been so weird.”
“You’re weird.” Steve retorts but there’s nothing in his voice to back it up. “I haven’t been weird.”
“You’ve been weird, even weirder than usual.”
Steve scoffs, and they ride in silence for a minute. He doesn’t want to go to Eddie’s, he knows it’ll be fast, he’s just dropping Dustin off. But if he sees Eddie, he’s going to think about Eddie, and he’s going to think about Eddie’s date and then he’s gonna only think about all of that for the rest of the night. But now he’s already thinking it, and he can’t stop. They’re nearly there when Steve blurts out “Does Eddie have a girlfriend?”
Dustin looks a little surprised, “I don’t think so.” He says. “Eddie doesn’t really talk about girls.”
Steve nods. “Right, I was just wondering cause like, if he doesn’t…maybe I’ll set him up with someone, you know?” He hopes the lie at least makes sense, but judging by the look on Dustin’s face it doesn’t. “Like I-I figured, since we’re friends now and-“
“You’re friends?” Dustin asks, looking suspicious.
“Yeah,” Steve says, glancing over at Dustin, “is that cool?”
Dustin smiles and nods, “It’s very cool. I told you that you’d like him.”
Steve sighs, “You were right, okay?” He looks over at Dustin and things feel like they make sense again, for the first time in weeks, in months. Maybe years? “I do like him.” Steve says, but when he says it out loud it all kind of just hits him.
He does like him. He likes Eddie. He likes Eddie. He likes Eddie? All those feelings come flooding in, he starts to panic but this is not the time. Not only is Dustin smiling next to him in the passenger seat, but he’s also literally pulling into Eddie’s. His hands are shaking and feel a little numb when he stops the car, his ears are ringing and his chest is tight. He hears Dustin in the distance, but quickly realizes he’s still in the car with him.
“Steve?” Dustin says, again and Steve blinks back to reality. His eyes oddly damp, and his face a shade too red. “Steve?”
“Yeah?” He says, not looking away from the steering wheel. “Yeah. Sorry, I just remembered I-“ he stops, shaking his head a little. He smiles at Dustin before pulling him into a hug. “I just remembered that I should never doubt you.”
“Jesus, dude-“ Dustin pushes him off, “seriously, you are so weird.”
Steve laughs. “Have fun, don’t do anything stupid.” He says as Dustin gets out.
Dustin goes to say something but is cut off, no. Not now. “Harrington!”
Steve freezes, mouth open slightly, he looks at Dustin as he runs toward Eddie. Steve sighs, he thinks quickly about just absolutely gunning it. He could be gone in thirty seconds, he doesn’t even have to stop driving. He can just leave, run away, never talk to anyone again, change his name, start a new life- he opens the car door and takes a breath, when get gets out he feels like his legs are jello, and he stumbles a little before leaning on his car. “H-hey, uh I-“ He stops, seeing Eddie is too much right now. Steve likes him. He’s trying so hard to act normal, how does he act normal? He likes Eddie.
“You got a while? We’re gonna read comics and hang, you’re invited.” Eddie says, and it’s so casual. Steve doesn’t feel casual.
“No, no, I would, but I-I’m going to Robin’s so-“ he absolutely had no plans with Robin, but he decided before he even got out of the car that he was definitely going to her house as soon as he left here, he’s not even sure if she’s home. He doesn’t care, he’ll wait. “thanks though.” He attempts a smile, but he worries he looks more pained.
“Cool, maybe next time.” Eddie waves, Steve nods and goes to get back in the car, “Oh,” Eddie stops, and looks back at Steve. “The flick? It was good, Harrington. Movie night soon, yeah?”
Steve feels like he could scream, this is a lot for him to take at once. But when he actually goes to reply, his voice gets stuck in his throat and he can just sort of nod like an idiot for a second before choking out a quick “Yeah, yeah, absolutely.” He clears his throat, “Sounds good.”
Eddie smiles, and it’s so bright and warm and intoxicating. “It’s a date.”
Steve’s breath catches and he isn’t sure what the right response is. He is freaking out, he needs to get to Robin’s. He barely chokes out “I-uh, Robin-“ before he just decides he’s had enough, waves again, gets in his car and heads out.
The whole way to Robin’s, Steve keeps replaying the other night at Eddie’s in his head, but his whole perspective has changed. He has the questions now, he has names for these feelings, he has words for these thoughts.
He likes Eddie. But, Steve likes girls. How can that happen? Can he like both? Can he just like, make an exception?
He keeps trying to tell himself that maybe he’s losing it, and he’s making this up in his head. He thinks maybe he’s just confused, or sick, or tired, or something. Because he can’t like Eddie, right?
But then he thinks of the other night, and how maybe when Eddie’s hand brushed his, it wasn’t an accident. He thinks about how he couldn’t stop staring at Eddie because he didn’t want to, he wants to stare at him. He wants to look at his hair, and his eyes, and his body. He really wants to look at his body. Steve tries to hit the brakes on that thought, but can’t stop it. He wants to touch Eddie, he wants to feel his hair, he knows it’s soft. He wants Eddie’s hand to brush against his again, he wants it to stay there. He wants more.
He gets to Robin’s and wastes no time, barely remembering to shut the car door behind him before he darts to Robin’s front door. He knocks and things finally work out for once, she’s home and she answers. “Steve?” Her smile fades quickly when she looks at him, “Uh, you good? Did you run here?”
“What?” He realizes now that he seems a little out of breath, “No, no. I need to talk to you.”
“Everything okay?” She asks, her brow furrowed, “Is everybody okay?”
“Everyone is good, it’s me-I’m fine, but-“ he sighs and takes a quick look around, “I can’t talk about this here.”
“Lucky for you my parents aren’t home, I’m not supposed to have boys in my room.”
Steve chuckles a little as he goes inside and follows her to her room. Once they’re in Steve realizes he doesn’t even know where to start. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if he should say anything.
What if he’s crazy and this is just like, something that’ll go away in a few days? What if this is all made up in his head and he doesn’t actually feel these feelings.
But it felt real, it felt real when they were sitting in Eddie’s room laughing together, it felt real when they were laying on his floor listening to records, it felt real when Eddie smiled at him. Steve tries his best to tell himself maybe it’s not real. But it is. He knows it is. He’s just stuck in this loop of uncertainty and he doesn’t know how to get out. He knows talking to Robin will help, that’s why he came over. He needs to say something, but where does he even begin? He isn’t sure where any of this began. One day he barely knew Eddie, and all of a sudden, they’re friends and Steve likes him?
Robin sits on her bed and looks up at him, Steve starts fidgeting with his hands and isn’t sure if he wants to sit or not. He feels restless. “So what’s going on?” Robin asks, calmly. “This isn’t like a spooky monster or government secret thing, right?”
“No,” Steve waves a hand dismissively. “Nothing like that, it’s…it’s personal.” Steve starts pacing just a little. “Like I’m physically fine but my brain is-“
“I mean everyone knows you’ve been acting weird this week.” Robin says, bluntly. Steve gives her a quick look of annoyance before she continues. “What’s going on? Is it like, girl troubles?” Robin raises her eyebrows.
“Robin,” He groans, -he knows he can tell her. Why can’t he tell her? He doesn’t think he has the guts to say this out loud. “Not exactly.” He says it slow, looking at her nervously.
“It’s not about Nancy, is it?” She asks, sitting up a little straighter. Steve can tell she’s fighting a smirk, she’s doing a good job of it but Steve can still tell.
“Oh my god.” Steve mutters. “Absolutely not, no. I told you, that’s over.” He runs a hand through his hair, “It’s not Nancy.”
Robin just stares at him for a second, waiting. Steve just holds her stare and she gives in, “Okay! So, what?” She throws her hands up a little, “This is about whatever has been making you crazy, right?”
Steve nods, and makes a noncommittal noise.
“So what is it, Harrington?”
Steve takes a breath and turns to fully face Robin again, “Look, whatever I say next stays between us, right? Like, no one else can know.”
Robin leans forward a little, “Of course, come on. We both have secrets.” She reminds him and it makes him feel better for a minute.
He drags a hand across his face and starts, “I-“ he stops, not sure what to say, not sure if he should even say anything, not sure if he should tell Robin everything, tell her that he’s having a breakdown because he thinks he likes boys, but he knows he likes girls, and that even if that wasn’t an issue, Eddie? Why Eddie? And can he even tell Robin that? Would that make all the times they hang out weird? But, he can’t bring himself to care as much as maybe he should. He knows he wants to tell her, he just doesn’t know how. He puts his hands on his hips, thinking it over for a second. He still has to say something, “Okay, look so, I like-“ he stops again, trying to choose his words carefully, “someone.” he finally says.
“Yeah?” She smiles, before gasping a little. “Love sick!” she says, pointing at him for a second. “That’s what was going on the other day, Steve.”
He rolls his eyes, “No, it’s not like-“ he scoffs, “I just, you know, I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Well, who is she?”
Steve feels his heart drop a little, this is the part he isn’t sure he can admit. Not only to Robin, but just out loud. He thinks about just making up a girls name and forgetting all of this.
But he can’t, because his brain has been caught on a loop of the past week. Eddie’s house, the video store, Eddie having a date, feelings having no names, he thinks of the heavy metal that was playing in the background and how he could barely hear it over his own heart pounding in his ears. He can’t fight it, he’s tried. He’s powerless.
“Robin,” He starts, weakly, leaning against her wall. His heart is beating fast again, and he can hardly bring himself to look at her, his eyes are wet now and he doesn’t know why. “This isn’t about a girl.” He admits, and he hopes she gets it.
She blinks at him a couple times and he can see that she’s thinking her next few words over carefully, something she actually does well for occasions like this. “Okay,” She nods, slowly, looking at Steve like he might break if she moves too quick. He doesn’t like it, but he can tell she’s just trying to keep him calm for this. “You like someone.” She starts, and looks up at Steve.
He nods and doesn’t say anything because he knows he can’t right now, he does not want to cry about this.
“And it’s not a girl?”
Steve swallows and shakes his head, “Nope.” He finally chokes out. “I, uh, I like…” He looks at Robin, he tries to stop himself, but he can’t. He knows this could mess everything up, but he feels like maybe he should tell her everything. It felt good to tell her part of it. Mostly, he just doesn’t want to be alone with these thoughts anymore. He sighs, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. “I’ve been losing my mind, Robin.” He admits, his voice low. He feels himself losing the fight he’s been having in his own head, if he doesn’t get this over with he’s going to explode. He can trust Robin, he reminds himself before taking a breath and starting again. “The other night, I couldn’t sleep, I was up nearly the whole night thinking about him, right? And then I-I finally fall asleep and I fucking dream about him, I kept thinking about everything, I kept going over the whole night, you know? We talked, we listened to music, but the whole time I could barely pay attention to anything, I didn’t care about any of it. I just wanted be around him. And then, like, he says stuff that I know is a joke, but god, it still just…” He trails off and checks to see if Robin’s going to say anything, he’s sure she’s probably dying to ask questions or say something.
But Robin is just watching him, with somewhat concerned eyes, and just waiting for him to finish. She gives a small nod encouragingly when she notices him looking at her.
Steve looks away and sighs, “Robin, I like him.” His voice breaks again, just slightly. “I like him so much.”
“I know,” She says, nodding. “And that’s okay!”
Steve scoffs. “I can’t like him.”
“Why not?” Robin throws her hands up, “You can so like him.”
“I can’t like him.” He repeats, shaking his head. “For starters, I still like girls so-“
Robin gives him a puzzled look, “Steve,” she laughs softly, “You can like girls and like guys too!”
Steve just looked at her. “Are you serious?” He asks, sitting up away from the wall a little.
Robin looks at him for a second, smiling. “Yeah, Harrington. You can like whoever, you don’t have to pick guys or girls.”
“Shit.” He says, blinking and resting his head against the wall. “I thought I was like…the only one.”
Robin rolls her eyes, “Sorry, you’re not special.” She smiles, “You’re just bisexual.”
“Oh, huh.” Steve looks down, he lets it soak in for a second. This whole time he thought this was something wrong with him but it has a name. He can just like whoever he likes. He chuckles a bit, feeling a little embarrassed for freaking out about it. “Learned something new, I guess.”
“It’s not like you could have known. Look around this town, not a lot of people like us.” She says shrugging. “But welcome aboard, glad to have you. “
“Yeah, thanks.” Steve rolls his eyes. “That solves that but like, what do I do?”
“Well, technically you still haven’t told me who this is.” Robin says, grinning.
Steve glares at her for a second, “Robin, don’t make me say it.” He whines a little.
“How can I help if I don’t know who it is?”
Steve closes his eyes and presses his palms to his face for a second. “Robin, oh my god.”
She tries to hide laughter, but isn’t very successful. “it could be anybody!”
“Fine, fine!” Steve throws his hands up in defeat and looks at her, she is absolutely radiating excitement and he hates how endearing it is. “Eddie.” He says, but as quietly as possible. It still feels awkward to say out loud.
“Hmm?” Robin puts her hand to her ear, “I didn’t catch that?”
“Eddie!” Steve shouts a little, tossing his head back in defeat. “I like Eddie.” He admits and another weight floats off of him. “I really fucking like Eddie.” And now he feels like he kind of wants to keep saying it, it’s therapeutic after days of bottling things up and keeping secrets from himself.
Robin sits up on her knees, “I knew it! I knew it! I-I’ve known it for months!” She says excitedly.
Steve sits up straighter, “I’ve only known for like, an hour. How could you have known for months?”
“Oh, please.” She rolls her eyes, “It’s so obvious you guys like each other, all you do is stare and flirt. It’s pathetic!”
Steve’s whole body feels hot, he feels sick, but he feels almost hopeful. “He-no. You’re so wrong, there’s no way-“ he shakes his head. “You’re crazy, he doesn’t- he likes girls.”
“Steve, you like girls.”
Steve’s eyebrows go up and he nods a little, “That’s fair.”
“And how do you know? How do you know he doesn’t like you?”
“Why would he like me?” Steve shrugs, “Like we have almost nothing in common, you know?”
“So? He liked hanging out with you. If you guys are so incompatible, why would he want to hang out with you? Alone?”
Steve sighs, “There’s no way.” He says again, seriously. “And we don’t-we don’t stare at each other.”
“Yes, you do! All the time! Just like, get a room, oh my god. It’s disgusting.”
Steve laughs and for the first time he can breathe. He feels okay. He thinks maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe he can just navigate this crush and somehow keep things together. But eventually he realizes he can’t just stay here in Robin’s room forever, and sooner or later he’s going to see Eddie again, they’re going to hang out and Steve is going to have to pretend that he isn’t hopelessly obsessed with him.
He and Robin talk for a while, and things start to settle for the night. It feels weird to just keep going through life after this. He’s supposed to just go home and go to bed after it feels like his whole world has flipped? He realizes he’s fucking head over heels for someone and he’s supposed to just act like he’s not?
It’s quiet for a minute and he and Robin are sitting across from each other on the bed, both lost in thought. He glances at her, “What do I do now?”
She looks like she thinks it over for a minute, before taking a breath, “You could go to his house, tell him how you feel and make out the rest of the night.” She looks at him and gives a small shrug, “That’s an option.”
Steve’s breathing gets a little shaky, that was definitely not something he’d considered. He tries to stop thinking about it, but he wants to. He shakes his head, “No, that’s not happening. I’m not gonna tell him.”
“Well maybe see if he wants to hang out, then you could kind of get a feel for things. Maybe you’ll see that he does like you and you can just see what happens.” She suggests and Steve doesn’t hate this idea.
He thinks it over, another night alone with Eddie, another night where Steve would get his full attention, another night where Steve could lay way too close next to him, a night where Eddie might let his fingers linger against Steve’s again. Steve nearly feels lightheaded just thinking about it. “Maybe.”
“Hey, he was just talking about a movie night, right?”
Steve’s eyes snap shut and he puts his head in his hands, “Oh my god.”
“Okay, so maybe not-“
“No, yeah. He just…when i dropped Dustin off he actually asked about that.” He looks at Robin a little nervously, he can feel his face going red. “I said sure, he said it’s a date, and I just-“ Steve makes a motion with his hand, “got the hell outta there, I came straight here.”
“Oh.” Robin says, “Even better, sounds like you already have plans!” Steve worries her face is going to get stuck with this excited smile she has.
“I don’t want to,” Steve sighs, nerves building already just thinking about it. “but yeah, i’ll try, okay?”
“That’s the spirit!”
The next few days, Steve tries his best to be cool. He’s not freaking out like he was, he knows better now. He knows more now. That doesn’t mean he feels quite like himself still. He’s still overthinking and over tired, the last few nights unfortunately have become dedicated to Steve just thinking about Eddie and all the different ways this could go, he’s played out every scenario. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he wants to be prepared for anything.
And yet, he finds himself very unprepared for Eddie’s voice coming through the line when Steve absentmindedly answers his phone while going through the mail. But the increasingly familiar “Harrington!” chimes in Steve’s ear and he drops the stack of envelopes he was holding.
Steve fumbles through the whole phone call, but keeps it together just enough to get by with using the mess he made as an excuse. He knows Eddie called for something, but he’s just kind of been rambling for five minutes and Steve starts to wonder if he might be a little nervous too. He also realizes that he has never given Eddie his phone number, he smiles a little to himself when he thinks that Eddie would have had to ask someone to give him Steve’s number, so he kind of went out of his way to call him.
“Anyway,” Eddie says, slowing down. “Look, you coming over tonight or what?”
Steve’s body does that tingly thing again, and his face is burning. He tries to respond but his words are stuck. He clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah, okay.” is all he mages to get out. It wouldn’t have mattered if he tried, he can’t tell Eddie no.
He hears Eddie laugh softly, and it’s basically the last thing he hears because he’s got a thousand thoughts running through his mind and he’s trying to sort through them. When he hangs up, he immediately calls Robin.
He does a double check to make sure he’s still home alone before she answers, “Hello?”
“What are you doing tonight?” He asks, quickly, skipping the greetings. He doesn’t really mean too, but his brain is moving too fast.
“Hello, Steve.” She says, huffing into the phone slightly. “I’m picking up a shift at the store tonight, why?”
“Okay, okay so no one else is going to Eddie’s?”
“No, everyone’s busy.” Steve can hear her smile through the phone, he knows she feels so smug.
He sighs, “Great.”
“You’ll be fine! You’ll have fun!” She reassures him, “Just relax.”
Steve tries to take that advice but he spends the rest of the afternoon doing anything but relaxing.
The last few days have dragged on so slowly, but today flies by, and he hates it. It’s all a blur of nerves, he spent 30 minutes just looking at the clothes in his closet. He didn’t even know why, but he just went back and forth between three different shirts before he realized he was taking forever and felt stupid for caring this much. After he gets dressed, he thinks that maybe he has done this before, once or twice before he’s gone to hang out with Eddie. He knows he changed twice before he went the other day, he couldn’t figure out why then, he figured he was just having an off day and brushed it aside. He feels like an idiot now.
He can barely drag himself to his car when it’s time to leave, he wants to go, but he also wants to just disappear. He’s unbearably nervous, and he circles the block once before he feels like he has enough courage to finally head in the right direction.
When Steve gets to Eddie’s door he pauses, he suddenly thinks about every scenario he played out last night. He thinks about the different outcomes, he weighs the pros and cons of knocking.
But before he can, the door swings open, “Harrington!” Eddie smiles before pulling Steve in gently by the wrist.
Steve feels like he would probably follow Eddie anywhere if he kept his hand wrapped close by his. “H-hey!” Steve wishes he was better at acting normal by now.
“Okay, you made it, so-“ Eddie let’s go of Steve’s arm and claps his hands together. He starts talking, going on about his ideas for the night, and Steve is listening but it’s difficult.
He’s trying so hard to think everything through, he doesn’t want to make a wrong move. He doesn’t want to be obvious, and he’s so worried he’s going to slip up and just say something fucking stupid.
Because every time he tried to play out all those different versions of tonight, he kept saying something stupid. He just doesn’t know how to not say something stupid.
After they settle in with some beers and a movie, it gets increasingly harder for Steve to focus on, well anything.
He’s basically missed the entire first half of this movie, instead he keeps taking too long and too frequent glances over to Eddie, who is sitting just a little too close to him, which is a major factor in Steve’s lack of focus. He keeps forgetting to focus on not slipping up, too. Once he and Eddie start talking, he can’t help himself. It’s just so easy that he forgets it’s supposed to be difficult.
When they’re talking, or even when they’re just in a comfortable silence, Steve forgets that Eddie doesn’t know, he forgets that Eddie doesn’t like him, he forgets that he’s worried about any of it. He’s just focused on Eddie, and that’s all that really matters.
Steve starts to realize that maybe the beer hasn’t helped him act normal, and that maybe that wasn’t his smartest move. But, he thinks he’s doing okay. Yeah, he’s still risking far too many glances Eddie’s way for it to not be weird, but he doesn’t think he’s been super obvious about it.
And yes, this time he’s staring again and he’s telling himself to stop, but somehow he just ends up resting his head on his hand and completely losing thought.
He doesn’t know why he thinks he’d get away this this, he hadn’t before. And just like last time, he gets caught. “You better stop looking at me like that, Harrington.” Eddie says, slow and quiet. He turns his head to face Steve. “You’re gonna give me ideas.”
Steve’s mouth goes dry and his heart is pounding in his ears, he thinks of a hundred lame excuses at once but can only manage a “hmm?”, hoping playing dumb would just work out for him.
Eddie rolls his eyes, “What’s on your mind? You’ve been looking at me for like five minutes.” he sits back and rests his own arm on the back of the couch, his body facing Steve’s. “I’m all ears, Harrington.”
Steve tries to blow out a laugh to seem casual, but feels like maybe it just makes him look more suspicious, “I-I haven’t been-“
“Steve,” Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Come on.”
Steve can’t help the small smile that spreads across his face, even though he feels absolutely crazy. He tries to think carefully and quickly about what to say, thinking about all the stupid stuff he wants to say and making sure none of that leave his lips. “I was just…I guess I-“ he sighs and looks at Eddie, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of Steve this whole time. He’s listening, whatever Steve says he’s going to listen and Steve doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. “I was just thinking, about something Robin said the other day.” He lies, thankful for his brain taking over for his heart.
“Yeah?” Eddie quirks a brow, “wanna share?”
“She said she thinks we should spend more time together,” Steve says, watching Eddie’s reaction for something he isn’t quite sure of. “I guess she thinks we make good friends.�� Steve shrugs and keeps waiting for a reaction, even though he isn’t sure what he’s expecting. He’s unsure that he’s selling this, he wonders if Eddie knows he’s not saying everything. “I think she’s right.” He adds slowly before looking back at the tv, but only for a second before he feels Eddie’s fingers lightly press against his cheek and turn his face back to his.
Steve feels dizzy, drunk, he feels like he’s floating and he hopes that maybe out of all the outcomes he’s prepared for, he’d get a good one.
“You know what I think?” Eddie asks, and his voice is quiet and low, it makes Steve feel weak.
“Huh?” Steve says, and he can hear how dumb he sounds, his brain is just totally off. All he can see are brown eyes looking into his, all he can hear is his own heart pounding and all he can feel is Eddie’s fingers still resting on his face.
Eddie smiles, “I think…” he lets his fingers trail down Steve’s chin and neck, it’s quick but Steve can feel his heat lingering for longer than he knows is possible. Eddie sighs and glances at the screen, then back to Steve. “I think you should come over more.”
Steve nods slowly, closing his mouth, and trying to come back to life. He can’t get his mouth to form words, he just takes a swig of his beer and looks back at the tv. He’s trying to ignore the fact that now Eddie’s the one staring, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel about it. Why is he staring? He glances over and accidentally makes eye contact. “What?” He laughs a little, in the back of his head he notes again that the beer is definitely not helping.
“Oh, so you can stare at me all night but it’s weird if I do it?”
“I was not staring.” Steve lies, knowing there’s almost no chance that Eddie would believe him.
“You know I have eyes right?” Eddie asks, “And i use them? And I use them to catch you staring at me.”
“Oh, will you shut up, Munson? So I looked at you?” Steve rolls his eyes, his argument half hearted, he’s loosening up and it feels good. He’s fighting to not say or do anything dumb, and he worries he’s going to lose. “What are you going to do about it? hmm?”
Eddie smirks at Steve, and Steve immediately realizes what he sets himself up for. He only realizes now that he might have done it on purpose. “I have a few ideas.” Eddie says after a second that feels like forever.
Steve’s brain checked out about ten minutes ago, he’s scrambling to think of anything to say, something that he can get out of this with. He settles for rolling his eyes and just pretending to watch the movie. After a minute, he feels Eddie move just a little closer, he uses up all of his focus to just keep his eyes on the tv.
“You know what’s weird?” Eddie says, breaking the silence that Steve desperately wanted. He can’t say something he shouldn’t if they’re not talking.
“Do you ever stop talking?” Steve asks, rolling his head to look at Eddie, happy to have a reason for once. He tries to sound annoyed but the smile on his lips betrays him.
“I thought all the Vecna, Upside Down, horror movie come to life stuff was going to be the weirdest experience of my life,” He says, and Steve is all of the sudden very aware of just how much closer Eddie got. “but this? You and me, hanging out, being…friends? This is definitely weirder.”
Steve laughs softly, “No, you’re right. It’s kind of weird.”
“It’s weird,” Eddie repeats, looking at Steve for a second before he takes a breath. “But, I like it.”
Steve’s heart races, and he can’t stop his eyes from darting to Eddie’s lips for just a fraction of a second. He nods, “I like it too.”
Eddie doesn’t take his eyes off of Steve, “Good,” He smiles, “You’re stuck with me now, Harrington.” He says, going back to the movie.
Steve takes the opportunity to internally panic, both of them sitting just a little too close to each other facing the screen. Steve reaches for his beer and starts going through what the fuck just happened. He isn’t sure if he’s reading too into things, or if he’s just seeing what he wants to. But he’s starting to think maybe Robin’s right, maybe Eddie -maybe- has some similar feelings. He can’t stop himself from testing the waters a little, hoping to not be as obvious as he feels. “So, y-you liked the uhm, other movie?” He stumbles out, looking ahead, a little afraid that if he looks at Eddie, he’ll give himself away.
“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “yeah, it was good.”
Steve decides he’s gotten this far and chances testing the water, “How’d the date go?”
“What?” Eddie looks at him, “Oh, yeah,” he laughs quietly. “It didn’t.”
Steve can’t stop himself from looking over, “It didn’t?”
Eddie watches him for a second, and Steve can tell he’s thinking something over. He’d give anything to know what. “Yeah, but it was for the best.” Eddie shrugs, “Wasn’t really what I want now anyway.”
Steve nods, “Well, she’s missing out.”
Eddie hums an agreement and goes back to looking at the screen.
Steve sits and tries to not get his hopes up for five minutes straight, and that’s when he feels Eddie’s fingers lightly brush against his own.
Steve instantly looks over at Eddie, who is focused completely on the screen in front of them. Steve blinks and looks back at the tv too. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t even know what to think. The only thing he knows right now is that he’s about to do something stupid.
He brushes his fingers against Eddie’s this time, slow and a little shaky. This time he ignores the other when he looks his way. Instead, Steve can’t even help himself and he does it again, this time letting his fingers go up to Eddie’s wrist, tracing against the edge of his bracelet.
They both go quiet and still for a second, and Steve starts to panic. Why did he do that? But why did Eddie start it? His face is burning and his hands feel empty and cold.
The panic subsides quickly when he feels Eddie’s fingers graze against the top of his hand. He smiles, and looks over at Eddie.
This time Eddie looks back, his head resting on the back of the couch, “What?” He asks, innocently as if nothing is going on.
Steve can feel the heat coming from Eddie, they’re so close and all he wants to do is fill the space that separates them. He looks at Eddie for a minute, he swears he hears those records from the other night playing somewhere in the back of his mind, or maybe it’s real he can’t tell. Nothing really feels real.
Steve’s starting to get exhausted, he’s not good at this. He’s not good at hiding feelings, he’s not good at lying, he’s not good at pretending. He thinks if he doesn’t leave right now he’s going to lose.
“I might do something stupid.” He says without thinking, reason and sense left him the second Eddie touched his hand.
“I don’t doubt that.” Eddie quips, smiling softly. He waits for a second to see if Steve is going to continue, and Steve notices. But he can’t bring himself to move or talk. Luckily Eddie rolls his eyes a little and keeps talking, “If you’re gonna do something stupid, promise to do it with me.” He whispers, Steve can nearly feel his breath on his face.
Steve looks at him, he’s grasping at excuses and subject changes in his mind but he can’t seem to hang on to any long enough to stop himself from thinking about kissing Eddie Munson. As soon as the thought enters his mind it consumes him. He remembers Eddie said something, and he pulls his eyes from Eddie’s mouth to his eyes, unsure of how long they’d been there. “I really-“ he stops himself, unsure of how he’d finish that sentence, the words on his tongue trying to escape. “I uh,-“ He tries to turn away from him, he tries to pretend things aren’t as intense as they feel. He tries, but he can’t and he’s right back to looking at Eddie, right back to trying to figure out what to do, how to tell him without saying it, how to make this less awkward. His thoughts are interrupted, and he’s almost thankful.
“Steve,” Eddie says, quietly with a new air of seriousness to his tone that Steve isn’t expecting. “Whatever it is that you want to tell me…” he trails off, and without any plan they both move a little closer, Eddie doesn’t look away from Steve this time when he moves his fingers against his. “I’m waiting.” he finally says, and doesn’t move away.
Steve can’t take anymore, he feels like he’s not dreaming for the first time. He feels like this is real, he didn’t make this up, it’s not in his head. He likes Eddie, and he can’t help but think that Eddie likes him too. He feels another soft stroke against his palm and he gives up. He takes Eddie’s hand, finally threading their fingers together. “Yeah, well-“ he starts, he looks from their hands, back to Eddie, he can barely catch his breath as he leans in, stalling for another moment to be absolutely sure he’s not dreaming, but then Eddie leans in slowly and he stops caring about any of the things he was worried about before. “I’m done waiting.” Steve says, before he finally closes the distance between them, slowly. He brings a hand up to thread through Eddie’s hair, and it’s just as soft as he’d imagined. He feels Eddie kiss him back, it nearly knocks him out. Eddie brings up a hand to rest on Steve’s side, and pulls him closer, he can’t stop the small noise he makes.
Out of every scenario he planned, every version of this he rehearsed in his head, nothing compared to how it actually felt. His heart is pounding, his hands are shaking while he runs them over Eddie’s body, he feels like he’s on fire, he’s overwhelmed but in the best way.
Everything gets a little colder though when he and Eddie finally pull apart, he desperately wants to just dive right back in but he takes a second to try to wrap his head around everything. The nerves start to creep back in quickly as he worries if he’s made a mistake. What if he read everything wrong?
He takes a breath, hoping he doesn’t let any of his panic show. He looks away and shudders out a soft laugh. “Sorry, I-“ he stops and looks over at Eddie, unsure of what to say or do.
But Eddie’s watching him, looking a little unsure himself. “So…” he starts slowly, both of them backing away a little. “Do we…talk about it or-“
“I like you.” Steve says, surprising even himself. He didn’t mean to say it, he didn’t plan on ever telling Eddie Munson that he liked him. He doesn’t know why he can’t stop, he couldn’t stop himself from touching Eddie, he couldn’t stop himself from kissing him, and now he’s just telling him this and he doesn’t know how to stop. He blames the alcohol but knows it’s not that. The words have been threatening to leave his lips since he realized they were there.
Eddie raises his eyebrows, giving Steve a second. “Yeah?” he grins, just kinda beaming at Steve expectantly, and patiently.
Steve sighs, realizing there’s nothing he can do now. He’s done everything he promised himself he wouldn’t, and now he’s just going to have to follow through with it and hope for the best. “Yeah,” he rolls his eyes a little when he notices the smug expression on Eddie’s face. “I can’t believe it, but yes, Munson. I like you.”
“See, I knew you had a crush on me.” Eddie says, before getting a little closer.
“Oh my god,” Steve groans a little, “don’t even start.”
Eddie laughs softly, and relaxes back into the couch again, glancing back at the credits rolling on the screen. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think I even know what happened in this movie.” He turns to Steve, fidgeting a little with his hands and watching him a second, “It doesn’t matter though, cause I didn’t ask you to come over for a movie. It was just an excuse to see you.” He waits a second before looking head again.
He starts to feel nervous again, but it’s different than before. Fears and uncertainty are now replaced with a need to get this right. It’s been a while since he’s gotten something he’s wanted, he doesn’t wanna ruin it. “You didn’t need an excuse.”
Eddie smiles, he barely glances away from the static on the tv, “This might surprise you, Harrington, but I’m not the best at talking about feelings.” He admits, locking eyes with Steve, “But, I like you too, okay?”
Sure, Steve kind of got that already, but hearing Eddie say it still made his stomach flip. He smiles a little, trying to wrap his head around it. He likes him. Eddie likes Steve.
Steve finally starts to feel better, his world is changing again, but it’s slowing down a little. He feels like even if he doesn’t know what happens next, or what he’s supposed to do or say, he’s going to be alright. He can’t remember the last time he felt like he was going to be alright, so he tries to soak it in while he can. “So…what now?” He asks, smiling a little nervously.
Eddie looks like he’s pretending to think about it, looking up at nothing with a small smile, tapping a finger against his lips, “Well, we could watch another movie.” He suggests, looking at Steve, and something about this look makes Steve feel nervous, but not in a bad way.
Steve takes a breath, he tries to assess the situation, trying to figure out if Eddie is implying what he hopes he is. “We didn’t even watch the last one.” He reminds him.
“Yeah, we aren’t going to watch the next one either, Harrington.” Eddie says, leaning close and pressing his lips to Steve’s, barely giving him time to react before he stands up. “Stay there, I get to pick this time.”
Steve just watches as Eddie runs off to find a movie, he feels completely dumbfounded as he takes this in. He attempts to figure out the exact moment this started, but quickly realizes he doesn’t actually care. It wouldn’t make a difference.
Eddie puts the movie into the VCR and quickly turns back to Steve, walking over to him, “The goal here, by the way, is to see as little of this fuckin’ movie as possible.” He says, before threading this fingers into Steve’s hair and kissing him, pushing him back onto the couch. “Sound good?” Eddie says, after a few seconds, taking a breath and pulling back to look at Steve.
Steve nods quickly, “Sounds great.” he pulls Eddie back down into another kiss, feeling him smile against his lips. He doesn’t care about anything other than this right now, he just wants to get as close to Eddie as he can. And he does, they spend the whole night together tangled up, nothing but the tv and the post lamp outside shining in the dark.
When Steve leaves, he kisses Eddie goodbye, this time he doesn’t feel like he’s forgetting anything, but he still doesn’t want to go, he’s already counting down until he can come back. And when he drives away, he checks his rear view and catches Eddie watching him drive away again and Steve knows he’s going to spend another night awake thinking about Eddie Munson.
He still isn’t sure how this happened, he knows he could sit and think about it forever before it made sense, but it doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t matter to him how he got here, he’s just happy that he‘s here now.
#THIS IS 11k WORDS#JUST AS A WARNING#steddie#stranger things#i’m posting this while i am at work so i’ll come back and edit it up in a lil while#steve harrington#eddie munson#fanfic#fanfiction#long fic#one shot#idk how y’all tag these nowadays
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Nothing's Wrong with Dale - Part Thirty-Four
It’s been a week, but you’re fairly certain your fiancé accidentally got himself replaced by an eldritch being from the Depths. Deciding that he’s certainly not worse than your original fiancé, you endeavor to keep the engagement and his new non-human state to yourself.
However, this might prove harder than you originally thought.
Fantasy, arranged marriage, malemonsterxfemalereader, M/F
AO3: Nothing's Wrong with Dale Chapter 34
[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven] [Part Seven.5] [Part Eight] [Part Nine] [Part Ten] [Part Eleven] [Part Twelve] [Part Thirteen] [Part Fourteen] [Part Fifteen] [Part Sixteen] [Part Seventeen] [Part Eighteen] [Part Nineteen] [Part Twenty] [Part Twenty-One] [Part Twenty-Two][Part Twenty-Three] [Part Twenty-Four] [Part Twenty-Five] [Part Twenty-Six][Part Twenty-Seven] [Part Twenty-Eight] [Part Twenty-Nine] [Part Thirty] [Part Thirty-One] [Part Thirty-Two] [Part Thirty-Three] Part Thirty-Four [Part Thirty-Five]
“So,” he says, after a sip of tea, “where would you like to begin?”
“I’m not certain,” you admit. Your mind’s been spinning with questions for weeks and yet now that Dale is availing himself to said questions, you find it blank. You grasp for anything to start. Nothing comes to mind besides the very beginning.
“You said earlier… that the original Dale was killed in his summoning attempt?”
“Yes,” the demon inhabiting his body replies. He sets down his cup of tea. “He attempted a summoning ritual, planning to bind a powerful, but unintelligent demonic spirit to him so he might use its strength and other inhuman abilities for his own gain.” That tracked with what you would have expected the original Dale to want. He seemed to have contempt for both demons and his grandparents’ rules, while craving more power for himself.
You’re not surprised it went wrong either as Dale is clearing an intelligent demon. Even while traveling abroad from Northridge, the human Dale likely needed to be covert about his studies and plans. Given the host of misinformation out in the world, well, that probably led to some bad information. His own arrogance likely blinded him to that fact or he overestimated his ability to filter such misinformation out resulting in, well… Summoning demons is very dangerous.
“Unfortunately, he miscalculated in a number of ways,” Dale immediately confirms for you. “Such as how deep he threw his lure down into the portal he opened being the gravest as it meant he underestimated the vitality of his offering. Or rather, if he’d only gone as deep as he planned, it perhaps might have been sufficient. However, since he tried to go too deep, the offering was used up and he’d not set the proper parameters on the summoning circle to prevent an overreach demand.”
Your confusion must show on your face. This is all so far over your head. All your research since discovering this situation with Dale had been regarding what to do with a demon that was present, not how to find or bind one. You’re trying to follow along though and you’re sort of managing, even if you’ve no idea about the mechanics of how to do any of what Dale is describing.
Dale elaborates, “It needed more fuel to the fire so to speak in order to reach as deep as he specified, which was in error. After the offering, the closest source of potential energy was him. Not his body, but his—” Dale made a sound, a hissing air filled noise that you’d never be able to replicate “—, er, his life’s energy? I’m not too sure of the mechanisms myself to be honest. Most of what I know is gleaned from memories of humans who I’ve possessed and that knowledge is incomplete.”
“From what I can tell,” you offer, uncomfortable with speaking on something you’ve not studied deeply, but wanting to contribute something—or at least reassure Dale that you’re no expert nor expecting him to be one. Most of the studies you’ve had covered the Depths as part of history, not science. “There seem to be waves or cycles with knowledge of the Depths. There will be a build up of knowledge in one civilization, an increase in daily interaction between the planes, and then some big shift—a nation-wide purge, a crater where a city once was—wipes out a lot of that gained insight. The topic becomes taboo again, until slowly interest and tolerance builds once more.”
“Fascinating,” Dale says, leaning forward with rapt attention. “I’d not noticed, but I think you’re correct—the sources of information my hosts recall do seem to be clustered in certain years. The cycle isn’t obvious in the Depths because of how time is distorted.”
“I’d imagine so,” you say, enjoying how animated Dale is on the topic. You hope your intrigue is not obvious as you surreptitiously study the two additional eyes which have opened up on his forehead. They’re identical to Dale’s human eyes, despite their placement.
Dale leans back, perhaps you were too obvious, but the eyes do stay. “Something to be explored at a later date,” Dale says sheepishly, seemingly to have recalled his original train of an explanation. “There are some things that are common knowledge among demons—passed on and around as information does even with the Depths’ fractured communities. If a human is drained of energy, there is a small window of opportunity where a demon can leap into their body. We can give it a kick to get it moving again—reignite the spark of life and animation with our own.”
You’d heard of both types of possession–shared and solitary, but you never knew why or how they happened. You’re only grateful that the demon didn’t have to fight the original Dale–you feel guilty, but you can’t help but be glad you’ve only this Dale now.
He waves dismissively. “Of course you can possess a human body with the human’s energy still intact—you’ve met Two—but it's a much more delicate proposition. Often such a prospect involves a fight or negotiation. That’s why so many of the older cults would purposely use a human as an offering. Then the demon they wish to summon won’t have any trouble finding or possessing a vessel.” He again seems to get nervous with such mentions—as if you’ll suddenly remember that you should be afraid of him—and hastens on, “Anyways, there are also ways to do the reverse—to limit a casting, so if the offering is used up, it stops. Dale did not do that properly. He didn’t set the lure right either, which is why he didn’t attract demons that are more akin to animals than humans.”
“I suspected he might attempt something like this,” you admit, remembering your trepidation as the original Dale’s inability to conceal his anticipation had grown. “He was not subtle in his studies around anyone besides his grandparents, but I’m still horrified to think he did so in the estate. If anything went wrong—as it did—who knows who could have been hurt? Is there a way to limit the number of demons that can, can follow or catch the lure?” Your mind is filled with visions of multiple demons, with no regard for the humans already here or even merely not in control of themselves as many animal-like demons often were. It would be like suddenly having a pack of wolves in your bed chamber.
“There is and he managed that much,” Dale confirms and even though the casting is over a month ago, you still feel some relief that you weren't quite so close to complete chaos. “Once I had the lure, I merely had to keep hold of it as these are set to pull in the demon once one suiting the parameters comes into contact with it. He’d made—not noise—but something similar enough that there were a number of interested parties in the area. Luck made me one of the closest once he cast down.”
“But you’d come to see if the noise was a way to the Surface on purpose,” you guess, reading between the lines. You think back to the mood Dale had been in when he’d ‘recovered’ and was showing up to more than a meal an evening. He’d been happy. He’d wanted to be there.
“Yes,” Dale nods. “I’d been looking for the opportunity for long enough. It was a great relief to win the race and fight for the chance. I wasn’t going to let such a lucky circumstance slip through my fingers.”
“How many times had you been to the Surface before?” you ask, caught up so much information. He clearly knew a lot about summoning from Dale’s memories, his personal experiences—but possibly even from other humans. To want to be here strongly enough to fight for the chance he must have known what he was getting himself into—or been in such a rough spot in the Depths anything seemed better. You hoped it was the former.
“A few times,” Dale confirms. He leans back in his chair, his pupils darker in a fascinating way. Not larger, but deeper. You have to watch yourself so you don’t lean forward to see better, like you might find understanding if you fell into his eyes long enough. You force your gaze away and take a sip of tea.
“The first time was by accident,” Dale confesses. “A very skilled summoner from Anjou pulled me and a couple others up. Bound us to her soldiers. It was enough to let me see and experience what it was like here. And to start my fascination.” He shrugs. “Sure, I’d heard of the Surface and humans before, but I’d never seen anything or anyone.”
“It’s not pure darkness in the Depths—I’ve no notion how such rumors began up here—but there’s nothing like the sun and sunlight and its warmth.” He closes his eyes and turns his face towards the window, even though the sun is almost done setting. “Everything feels freer here somehow, less weighed down. As if I’d been moving through water or smog my whole life, in more ways than one—not that that’s quite right either.” He frowns at his inability to describe the experience and opens his eyes to meet yours with perfect accuracy. “My apologies, I seem to lack the vocabulary to explain some of the differences as the effects, the experiences, are not ones that translate well.”
You don’t think he’s giving himself enough credit. “No, no—I think I understand as well as I’d be able without going there myself.”
“I’m not sure you’d like it,” he immediately cautions. Before you can begin to reply that wasn’t what you meant, he’s already hurrying to deter you. “Do not misunderstand me, there are many parts of living in the Depths that I liked. Having my own body and not having to use a vessel. There’s a certain beauty in landscapes and locations that cannot exist here. Comfort in the familiarity of it all. Not to mention the lack of constant deception. However, I’m not certain you would enjoy it.”
“That’s alright,” you reassure him. I have no plans to visit the Depths–you just want Dale to stay here.
“Good, good. It’s…” Dale’s at a loss of words as he tries to convey whatever he wants to. “Well, it’s very dangerous, more wild.” You shiver at the thought, having only lived in cities or large estates in your life–tamed in a manner that you can tell Dale means the opposite to.
Dale frowns, glancing at you and out the window at the nearly set sun before going over to start a fire. You don’t clarify his misinterpretation because the light will be helpful to you, as you know Dale has excellent night vision. Besides, it's early enough in summer that nights can still carry a chill.
Dale continues to talk as he arranges the logs, his voice clear despite his facing away and crouching down, “There are far more animals, for lack of a better word, than intelligent beings. And the intelligent demons are very territorial, in tight-knit clans that exclude outsiders, or in family groups, or solitary. None of these larger communities like humans, with their travel and attempts at civil interaction.”
“What sort are you from?” you can’t help but ask. He seems to enjoy being part of Northridge. He’d talked weeks ago of it as his ‘territory’ but you noticed he hasn’t mentioned anyone else. No one person was mentioned as an aspect of the Depths that he misses.
He straightens up from the fire, picking up his cup of tea for a drink. “That’s complicated.” He sets down the cup holds up his right hand as he explains, “One of my parents was pure shade, but they had been injured defending their territory. During that time they met an ambyani who’d left her family territory to make her own and had settled next to their territory.” He holds up his other hand to represent that parent, before frowning at your blank stare at the word.
You know there are many races of demons, far more varied than any humans are from one another. Some are more famous—infamous— than others. You’ve never heard that word before.
“Ambyani would remind you of humans in a broad sense—most intelligent demons have a form that’s similar enough to humans—but with features that would bring to mind salamanders and birds.” You nod, which you limit yourself to only because you can tell Dale has other things to say besides simply continuing to describe such a creature in greater detail as you wish he would. You wonder if he’s any talent for drawing that he might better illustrate what they would look like. “A courtship developed between them over the years. Eventually they became mates and began to have children.”
Does he mean his parents courted for years before marrying? Perhaps he is interested in such things, but merely expects a longer time frame. You can’t decide whether or not that makes you hopeful or dismayed, so you focus elsewhere. “So different races of demons can have children together?” you ask, even though you suppose he’d already told you as much. You’d grown up hearing about all sorts of demons—wild and strange in so many ways. They seemed too different to be able to have children together.
“Yes, although not always easily and often in adapted manners,” Dale replies. He fidgets, looking as if he’s going to start pacing again, before he sits instead. “The offspring tend to be a mix of parental traits, although the level of influence varies. For example, when a human has children with a possessed human, it is as though the child has three parents, with traits from all, but will end up primarily human because there is more influence from humans. Demons have overlap in their traits, even when different races, and those common traits show up more prominently in offspring.”
You try to absorb what he’s saying about demons, but your mind is a little stuck on the human part, since it's most applicable to you. Another problem for another time, you try to remind yourself. After all, it's not like that information is likely to be relevant to anything happening tonight. Forcibly, you remind yourself that Dale is attempting to explain his own parentage, which you do want to know about and which might help you learn more about him. You’re not sure if your mind can believe that having control over shadows is like hair color, but perhaps it was for demons.
“Shades spawn in swarms with or without partners,” Dale says, not having noticed your mind briefly get off on the wrong track, “while ambyani lay eggs.” You can’t help but notice neither of those methods is how humans reproduce. You try desperately not to picture what mating or sex would be like between such different demons if only because you want to keep listening to Dale. “It can be harder to reproduce between very different races, but my parents were able to raise a clutch with deliberate action, all of whom inherited from both parents.” You’re nodding until he says, “I was not one of them.”
“What do you mean?” Were those two not his parents after all?
“Myself and a handful of other siblings were formed on accident, with a greater portion of shade than ambyani,” Dale says, still not filling in many of the gaps to your mind. You didn’t want to interrupt him with more questions about how that happened in case he was talking around the exact circumstances on purpose. “As such, we grew up as shade do, wandering about in large swarms. We did combine and recombine with less frequency than usual due to our mother’s contribution.”
“But a swarm of bats or a flock of birds are still separate animals,” you can’t help but point out. “You’re saying that shade young are not fully separate?”
“Correct, usually a swarm solidifies into one shade after time passes, if they survive.” Dale sounds wistful as he explains, “However, rather than eventually dying off entirely, being subsumed by a larger swarm, or forming one shade being, we solidified into a group of siblings when younger than is typical for boundaries like that to form. Because we wandered as young shade do, we had strayed far from our parents' territory. We traveled throughout different demons’ territories, never able to stay long and always in danger from predators. Once old enough, we decided to find our parents. I was the only one to survive the journey home.”
Your heart goes out to Dale and you can see that he feels the loss of his siblings at such a young age. You can’t even imagine it. “I’m so sorry.”
Dale smiles sadly. “Thank you.” He fidgets in his chair before standing up. Waving his hand, he tries to downplay the loss, “It’s a blur, to be honest—little moments stick out but I was very young. Still, I missed them and being part of a family. I was quite eager to join my parents.” You’ve got a sinking feeling in your gut, given how Dale is and the sad tone this story has taken, that his eagerness may have been misplaced. “Unfortunately, by the time I returned, I had grown enough that my parent thought I was an unrelated shade, looking to steal their territory and family. I was able to communicate who I was eventually, but they never fully trusted me.”
You wrap your hand around the low footboard of the bed to resist the urge to comfort him with an embrace. He seems too full of nervous energy to appreciate it and this conversation, while relatable in some ways, is also throwing in your face how different you are. Perhaps he wouldn’t want a hug, even if you want to give him one. “Why not?”
Dale sighs, leaning against the vanity. He looks older, more tired. “Between growing away from them and how we—I—was formed, my mother felt there wasn’t enough ambyani in me. She barely believed I was hers. My parent saw me as too shade to be trusted—family means very little to them on its own. He could never truly be convinced I was not a rival to him. My other siblings were quite different from me and followed their lead.” All of Dale’s extra eyes have vanished and the shadows are very still around. His voice is clipped as he says, “After an incident, I realized it’d be best if I struck out on my own.”
You’re not sure what sort of incident he could mean, but given his parents distrust it could have been anything. People looking for a threat tend to find one, no matter how warranted. “Oh, Dale.” He shrugs and turns to stare into the fire, the light casting strangely deep shadows on his face. He barely looks like his namesake in this moment. He looks too far from human.
You want to shake him from this melancholy. It’s not the same, but you know what it's like to feel like a stranger, someone outside looking in, in your own home and with your own family. Your age difference would have been enough to do that to some extent, nevermind your illness. But your parents and siblings had always been around, had always known you were family. Now here Dale is once more outside of his ‘family’, a demon among humans. He had very little from his original identity he could reveal, even if you hope sharing with you will help. The thought occurs to you and you tentatively ask, “I suppose that reminds me of another question, do you wish for me to call you by another name?”
“Hm?” He half turns towards you, but continues to look so clearly inhuman. It's fascinating what light and shadow can do to change a person.
You’re not scared of him, but you are somewhat intimidated by the gap in your experiences. By how much you still don’t know of him as even this basic question demonstrates. “I only meant for when we’re alone, of course. But you must have a name besides ‘Dale’?” As soon as you clarify, you start to second guess yourself. What did you know of demons and their naming conventions? You’ve heard tell that names mean something to them. Or that they use them differently? But what was rumor or fact, you’ve no notion.
“Oh!” Dale turns fully away from the fire, looking startled, and it seems to shock him back to looking fairly human. His eyes, only the two at the moment and in the proper place, still must be the hardest to control. They still seem to have a glimmer of firelight in them. As he recovers from his surprise, he appears to give the question a brief few seconds of thought before shaking his head. “No, I don’t mind Dale.” You breathe out a sigh of relief that you hadn’t accidentally offended him. He continues, “We didn’t have names as such in the Depths, not permanent ones. Names, however someone was referring to you, were to reflect who you were in a context. In this context, I am Dale of Northridge.”
“If you’re happy with that,” you reassure him, even as he gets up to make himself a fresh cup of tea, “then I’m pleased to continue to call you ‘Dale’.” You hand him another packet of tea and he refills your own cup with fresh hot water. “I just want to make sure you’re aware you can share things with me, as yourself.”
“Thank you, sana.” His smile is small, full of sharp teeth, and quite sincere. “I believe I’m starting to get that through my mind,” Dale says as he salutes you with his fresh cup of tea. “It merely seems so novel. Humans are so fearful of the Depths and demons, which is not unwarranted.”
He frowns thoughtfully at you, pausing as he stirs his tea. He squints, a third eye mimicking the motion. “You’re quite smart, and compassionate, and—well, cautious isn’t quite right. Deliberate? Hm.” You wait with bated breath for whatever else he might say of your character. You’ve been wondering how he truly saw you for so long, what he made of such a silly human, and yet he seems far too complementary. “What I mean to say is that you are very sensible and that seems at odds with, well, this,” he motions between the two of you. “Your reaction to me when compared with others. I admit I still do not fully understand it.”
“I’m pleased you think I’m sensible,” you say before frowning because while you’re flattered, you also don’t want Dale to have a false image of you in his head. “But I don’t truly think I am. Sensible, that is. I mostly just see myself as a worrier, but it’s true that I worry a similar amount about what others might see as inconsequential or as monumental.” You shrug helplessly, trying to articulate what you mean. “I think I’m just better at pretending, or rather… I grew up oddly, because of my illness and isolation, in a manner such that the things others saw as mundane were far more to me. And now that I am healthier, I think sometimes because my mind has elevated the ordinary to extraordinary, I don’t find the strange so strange, or the risk as risky.” You wander back to the bed and sit down as you try to pull your thoughts into order.
“It’s true, marrying a demon is risky,” you’ve never actually said it out loud. The closest you came was with Steward Bilmont. It does sound incredibly foolish, even with Dale patiently waiting for you to keep talking, the picture of normalcy—baring the now three additional eyes. “But so is marrying anyone, to some extent. Certainly so is marrying an ambitious lordling who dabbles in forces he overestimates his abilities in. I knew what he was like when we entered into our betrothal, but considered it a price I’d pay, a risk I’d take. I wanted to attempt to run a fief and have a family of my own where my decisions held weight. My other options had not had such possibilities.”
You think back to when you figured out what was going on and what Dale was. What you wanted to do. “You were a new player to account for, but I already knew Dale wasn’t a prize himself. You could have been anything—for good or ill—and Dale was already part of the marriage to bear, not what I was looking forward to. Given the other alternatives, I thought seeing if you would at least be as tolerable as him would be worth the risk. If it did not work out well, I would deal with it then.” You shrug helplessly. “I think I’m just too stubborn by half and twice as foolhardy. A month ago, when this part of everything began, seems so long ago. But I’m very happy with where we are now and with you.”
“Is that so?” Dale can’t seem to help himself from asking.
“Yes.” Luckily telling him so gets easier every time.
He leans forward to peer at you, unblinking in his examination. Your breath catches in your chest as you wait him out.
“So strange, you really seem to mean it.” He looks away to stir his tea.
You find you’ve leaned towards him and are in danger of falling off the bed. You hurriedly hoist yourself back a sensible distance so you don’t look quite so eager. Hopefully by the time he looks back at you the heat in your cheeks can be blamed on the fire and tea.
“Some humans have used me as a tool, others a weapon. Some were civil about it, others were not—whether using bribery or punishment to attempt to deal with me. None dealt with me as an equal.” He says so casually enough it takes an additional second for the pang of sorrow for his sake to hit you.
He looks back up, that earnest light in his eyes. “Despite all that, I still wanted so badly to be here. After the first taste, I tried to learn everything I could of the Surface. I’d not managed to join a new clan or other group by then, so I started trying to mark out my own territory in the shallows. Where I might see more of the Surface. I even attempted to find a way to go it alone up here, but shades are just a bit too… delicate? We need an anchor—a vessel—or we fade.”
“So you focused on humans who cut holes into the Depths,” you surmise, even if you feel a pang of disappointment that you’ll never see him without Dale’s human body, on his own. You wonder if the brief glimpses you saw during his fight with Two were close to what he looked like naturally. Maybe you could still see some of what he was underneath.
“Precisely,” Dale replies. “I learned better how to spot the lures humans dropped, how to tell who they were aimed at and how powerful the one casting them was and so on. Not that I was always correct in my estimation and there are others—other demons—who want to go to the surface as well. Even ones who might be able to in their own forms tend to still prefer to travel up a line a human dropped to ascend. Competition was fierce.”
You try to think of what to ask, without making it obvious you want to know everything he could tell you. Hopefully he would, eventually, but what did you want to know tonight? “Were there any other journeys here that you thought might have been what you wanted?”
Dale frowns before he slowly nods. “One. Time moves differently between the planes and matters less in the Depths, passes differently too so I can’t say for certain how long ago it was. Decades on the Surface,” he settles on, “but less than one below.” He sighs and there’s a little whistle to it that makes it sound more like the wind than a human letting out some breath. The whistle is eerie and pretty at the same. You want to know what other sounds Dale can make. “It did not work out as I’d hoped, but it was the closest I’d come.”
This is the most wistful you think you’ve ever heard Dale and you are so eager to learn more. “What happened?”
“You truly wish to know?” Dale’s not arguing with you, but you can see he doesn’t understand your interest in this. You’d thought this is what he wanted to share, but maybe he was expecting questions more along the lines of the specifics of what he is or what his plans are. After this morning and the wedding, you’re not nearly as anxious about that as you were yesterday. You don’t need reassurances he’s not going to hurt you or leave. You merely want to know him better.
“It has no bearing on the current state of affairs. I promise I’ve no desire for another life,” Dale reiterates, looking earnestly at you. “As I said, this was the finest stroke of luck I’ve ever come across.”
You can’t help but smile because honestly, his arrival ended up being a pretty perfect stroke of good luck for you too. “I believe you,” you reply, hoping to soothe him. You’re not deterred. “But these events had an impact on you, did they not? A strong impact.”
“Yes,” he allows. “They did.”
“I only want to get to know you,” you say, hoping your unadorned words will help him understand you.
“Very well.”
You frown at his continued reluctance. “If you do not wish to tell the tale, I’ve no desire to force you.”
“No, no.” He shakes his head, his hand brushing some of the hair that’s escaped his tie back from his face. “It might clarify some of my actions to you.” You still are not convinced he wants to speak to you of this. You can have patience. You open your mouth to say so, but Dale admits, anticipating your words, “And I’ve never had the opportunity to tell this story to anyone. So if you wish to listen, I will gladly tell of it.”
You are getting better at reading him after all, you realize, be cause you believe him. You relax back onto the bed. “Yes, please.”
“It was in Khinat, though the group was not entirely from there,” Dale says, setting the scene. The far off look is back in his eyes, the shadows’ movements more rhythmic than the typical chaos from a fire. “They were a band of thieves, who wanted to steal, well, a number of precious items from a palace.” He gives one slow blink, as if giving you a second to object to such criminal behavior. As if you weren’t aware most dabbling in demonology that weren’t scientists were mercenaries and the like. You doubt he had much choice in the matter and theft was always more palatable to you than harm caused unto others—not that they couldn’t overlap.
When you only wait patiently, Dale continues, “They wanted more than human advantages on their side. Their caster bound myself and two others to three of their fellows. My vessel, he did first. He’d not been sure of how much energy it would take to get the depths he wanted and so he had that human written in as a secondary sacrifice. Sure enough, he’d not provided enough energy and the human’s life energy was drained in the summoning process. It was the first time I’d been in a vessel with no mind to compete with beyond memories.”
“That caster had been a foul man, callous and arrogant,” Dale flexes one of his hands angrily at the memory before clenching it into a fist. “He bound me tight in that body. The other two demons he summoned were controlled by their humans with excessive strength. One human was able to handle it properly. The other was not and did survive to the end of the quest. The one who survived kept the demon bound to him as his reward while I was told that I could have the human body and my freedom if I cooperated. I saw this as a great opportunity, even if I disliked most of the other members of the group."
“I can understand why," you acknowledge. It was obviously more appealing for Dale to not have to share a body, even if it meant someone else died—at least it was not by his own actions. It certainly painted the humans involved in a negative light, cruel to sacrifice someone in such a test and then use their body after their death. And while you know demons can be violent too, this manner of binding stinks of slavery to you. "Even if they sound like a reprehensible crew."
“Yes. There was one who had been, not captured as the one who became my vessel had been, but coerced to a high degree,” Dale says. You sit up straighter at the gentler tone that has entered his voice. "She was the appraiser—the one who could tell the decoy artifacts from the genuine. Rather than wait until after the heist, the leader compelled her to join with a combination of bribery and threats. She needed the money, and wished to keep her life, and so complied."
Dale seems to be lost in his memory and so you only need to nod to prompt him to continue.
"I performed reconnaissance and scouting. She utilized that information to ensure we had the correct targets. We became close over the time spent together, preferring each other's company to the rest," Dale's voice gets even softer and you hate the insecurity it sparks through you because you can see where this is heading. You don't like discovering you're a jealous spouse—you hadn't been with the original Dale, but then again, you'd not truly wanted him, or wanted him to want you, the way you did with this Dale. "She knew the terms of my service, that I would get only my freedom and nothing more, so she invited me to return with her to her hometown and then beyond. She was taking this payment and leaving her life in the city behind. A fresh start for both of us, she said.”
You could see why such a prospect appealed to Dale, and possibly even to this woman, who sounded like she had found herself in far over her head. You’re waiting though, balanced on the edge of a cliff, because you know by virtue of Dale standing here with you, that this story will not end well.
"It was the longest I'd been on the surface for and had full control,” Dale says, lost in the memories. “I learned and enjoyed as much as I could, even under the circumstances.”
You can picture Dale, not having to hide his nature with the crew, and testing his limits with the same eager attitude he sometimes displayed.
“Not that the lessons learned from the rest of the group were useless,” Dale adds, coming back to the present somewhat. “I’ve been applying some of those skills recently to the investigation into the assassins.”
You blink, pulled out of Dale's story. "You have?”
"Yes," Dale says, as if still worried what you might think of this part of his past. Like he wants to show he's useful beyond his impersonation of Dale, which has never something you needed convincing on. "Of course, I’ve been trying to pull what useful information I can from Dale’s memories, his knowledge, of his network of informants, and so on, but I do know something on my own of information gathering, of meeting with unsavory characters and how they operate. Ensuring those I have contact with can and cannot tell I am Dale as appropriate."
"I'm glad you've had the experience because I don't know where I would have begun," you admit because you are and you want him to know that you value what responsibilities he’s taken on. "My family might help if I had asked, but they are busy with their own matters. I certainly have no network of contacts, especially not for figuring out who might have hired assassins."
"Yes, well, you would not have acted in a manner that would prompt someone to send assassins after you."
You smile at the affront you hear in Dale's voice. "I'm glad you think so. I don't think if you'd been Dale at the time that you would have either."
Dale gives you a lopsided smile. "I'm pleased you think so, but I'm not so certain. There's still much I'm learning and my experience, my loaned memories—they are not always the correct preparation. I'm grateful to your aid and Grandmother and Grandfather for their clear expectations. Besides, as you've pointed out—rightfully so—my control still needs fine-tuning. Within Northridge, that’s the greater concern.”
While you've worried over the same thing yourself these weeks, here in this room—with Dale, and honesty, and your marriage—you no longer feel like that’s a true looming threat. “Now that we can work together, I’m certain we can prevent that from happening.”
“Thank you for your confidence,” Dale says, pleased. “I’ve simply never been able to stay and so inherently find the prospect hard to trust in.”
“I’d imagine so,” you reply. “From your story, it seemed like a true possibility, but you weren’t able to stay, were you?”
“No,” Dale sighs. “It was a lovely month—my longest stay until now. We did succeed to the leader’s satisfaction and he paid us both as promised. Even the journey to her home was uneventful. At first. That’s when it all fell apart.”
Even knowing that something was going to go wrong, it still made your heart clench at the despair in Dale’s voice. That he was here now, meant that he couldn’t have stayed then, and you selfishly want to be the one—want this life to be the one—that makes him happy. You still hurt for the hope you can see he had and lost.
“While I thought she understood my situation,” Dale continues, “it turns out she had not.” You frown, what did he— “She thought I was like the other two, a human sharing a body with the demon, except that I hadn’t asked for it the way the other two had. She thought freedom meant the caster had rid me of the demon, not that I was the demon being given a body. She thought she’d been talking with a human the entire time.”
Oh, your first thought is once you’ve digested that, no wonder he hadn’t thought you knew. He’d deceived this other woman by accident. Perhaps that is even why he seemed so careless—why he’d called humans oblivious. He’d said before he’d been testing his limits of what he could do and she’d still not caught on. She must have been shocked, particularly if her experience with demons had been tainted by the other members of the group. “Oh, oh no.”
Dale nods, resigned sorrow in the lines of his face, aging him. “When I finally realized what was happening, I told her the truth.” His voice flattens, “She did not take it well. Refused to believe me at first. She was angry and unsettled and—but then,” the corners of his mouth lift in a facsimile of a smile, “she seemed to accept that I had been myself the entire time. That our relationship was genuine. She was a little more standoffish, more hesitant, than before but she was a good person. Forgiving. She still wanted me to come home with her. She didn’t abandon me.” You can hear a lot in that statement, thinking back on his family.
“I thought given time,” Dale continues softly, “she would be able to accept me. And so I followed her home, right into an exorcism.”
Your eyes widen and you can’t help but get to your feet. Carefully, you approach Dale. He watches you with wary eyes, but doesn’t move away, doesn’t ask you to stop. “She’d written home ahead of time,” he blurts out and you reach out your hand to entwine your fingers with his, giving his hand a squeeze. You know he can appreciate this much at least. “Her mother, a sanctif, set everything up. She believed I’d deceived her purposely and was still attempting to use her to some nefarious end. I was shoved back down into the Depths within the day.”
“Dale…” You say, running your free hand down his arm in what you hoped was a comforting gesture, but you’ve no idea what else to say. No wonder he hadn’t believed you knew.
“I thought I was so clear with who I was!” Dale exclaims, looking frustrated and sad. The shadows flicker, and his teeth grow sharp, and his hair seems to have burst from its tie entirely. His fingers stay entangled with your own and his grip is so light. It’s primarily you holding on to him. “And she was so kind, so understanding. We’d known each other for weeks. She saw me—”
He cuts himself off with a frustrated growl. You feel the sound through the close air between you and through his body. You don’t know how to make him feel better. Had he said he’d never even spoken to anyone of this? It all must be so bottled up inside him. You hope talking about, telling you, is releasing some of the pressure. You want to pull him into an embrace so badly, but you don’t think he wants much more contact than this.
He inhales, a shiver that goes through his entire body before he stills. He pulls his inhuman influence back into himself that the room seems more static than before, like a painting of a room instead of a true one—Dale, a statue. He looks down at you with his glowing blue eyes, only two of them, and mostly looks forlorn. “And she was convinced that she did what had to be done, I could see it, once trapped. The righteousness in her. Looking back, I should have realized her concerns over what we were doing, how the demons were used by the other humans—she had been disgusted with the use of them, of me. I simply thought it was the binding, the control over another, she disagreed with. In the end, I think she was a purist, who thought none should cross the planes and all should stay in their own realm.”
It was a popular belief, one that waxed and waned throughout the centuries but never truly went away. You sigh and keep your hand on Dale’s arm, not his cheek. “I’ve heard of that school of thought. I’ve never studied much about the planes or demons, not enough to have a strong opinion. I know there is a lot of danger when realms mix, but I also think that those are the instances everyone hears about because if there are demons here or humans Below that are doing just fine, well, there’s nothing to say or hear about, is there?”
Dale relaxes at your every word, at the way you continue to hold his hand, stay close—not move an inch from his side. “Yes, that’s my stance as well.” He frowns, “Do not misunderstand me, there are plenty of dangerous individuals who are a perilous risk to all around them, regardless of where they are and what they are. Demons have done serious harm on the Surface, but humans have been to the Depths and done damage too.”
That’s not something you’d considered, though you’ve heard tales and speculation of those who ventured there. You know Dale knows this, but he must feel so defensive given the attitudes of so many, including that woman and his grandparents.
“In the end, I can only speak for myself. And I wish to live here.”
You take his other hand in yours and clasp them both. “You do live here now. We’ll work together to make sure it stays that way. I can help so much better now that we are on the same page, I promise.”
“Thank you, sana,” Dale replies warmly, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “I now know you’ve already been doing more than I ever expected. I admit I didn’t entirely follow all of what you said about what aid you have provided over this past month—besides the holy water. I take it that now it was your intention to be the primary target?”
“Yes, I didn’t know Grandfather had holy water,” you admit with a shrug “but the gesture, the fall… It struck me as suspect so I reacted without thinking.”
“How else have you helped?” he asks, heartfelt gratitude in his voice. “I have done my best, but I’m still learning. Dale’s memories—my own from my other visits—are a great aid, but I can’t always understand why certain things are done or what human limits are. I estimate the correct action as well as I can and hope small slips do not arouse too much suspicion.” He shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know what else to do.”
“I imagine so, I would never be able to maintain any such deceit of my own person.” The very idea of spending the rest of your life pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting, but somehow helping Dale do the same seems so much more manageable. “I’m happy to aid you.”
“When else have you, if you don’t mind my asking?” Dale insists. “If I’m far more oblivious than I’m beginning to suspect, you need not enumerate all such instances if you’d prefer to go to sleep at some point tonight.”
You smile at his self-deprecating joke, but you’re not one to boast of your own accomplishments and you’ve no desire to make Dale feel worse—your reaction this morning had been quite enough. “I…” You want to fidget but you don’t want to let go of Dale’s hands. “I tried to help where I could as an unfamiliar person to give you time to work through your memories. Then as you said, your control isn’t perfect. Most of what I did was merely misdirecting others from noticing additional eyes, strange shadows, hungry shadow tails with a penchant for cheese.” You give him a significant look at that one and he looks mischievously unrepentant.
“I get hungry!” he defends himself. “I need a lot of fuel to keep myself and this body running smoothly.”
“Clearly,” you reply dryly, although you note it for later. “Other than that, some of Grandfather’s attempts to prove I’d cursed you were aimed at me, but some were aimed at both of us or were in danger of affecting both of us. You managed the High Sanctif fine on your own, but I did ensure we were away from Dr. Louisa and Grandfather after you touched her detecting gloves.”
“Her what?” Dale asks, baffled and curious. An additional eye opens below one of the usual ones, already trained on you.
“She’d just given a demonstration before you and Grandfather joined us. Your hands were stained due to some substance she developed.”
“Oh.” All his eyes blink. “Now that you say so, I did notice a bit of a stain when I retired for the evening, but I thought that was from ink. No wonder I couldn’t recall when it had happened.”
“Quite.” You search your mind, for other instances, feeling strange laying them out after working so hard to conceal them. “I tried to help you gauge your strength with the games before the tournament so you did draw suspicion with the jousting itself. Not telling everyone what else I saw of you during the fight with the assassins wasn’t a challenge—especially since I didn’t see that much as it was. I did try to ensure I helped treat your injuries first, in case you needed the time to regain your control or were injured in some inexplicable manner.”
“I appreciate that, sana,” Dale says with a warm smile and an emphasis on your ‘healer’ nickname, “but I did make sure not to return until I was entirely human, knowing I might be under heightened scrutiny. In some ways it was easier that night since I was tired from having used so much of my demon attributes in the fight and chase. Too tired and I’ll get sloppy—that’s why I only was in public for short periods right after taking control of Dale’s body—but there’s a sweet spot, or so it seems.”
“I’m relieved you’ve managed as well as you have then,” you reply with a crooked smile, “even without exhausting yourself.”
“Still, obviously I have not been doing as well as I’d presumed.” Dale frowns, “My sense of what humans will notice is obviously skewed. I’d appreciate your help in—”
A crackle and pop from the fire as a log shifts and falls in the pile cuts Dale off. He lets out a strange noise, a growl but lower register and more of a continuous, less rough sound. Like a hiss. The shadows writhe around him. He lets go of your hands to put himself between you and the fire, one shadow in particular shoots out like another limb or a tail to wrap loosely around your shoulders, the end of it facing the danger.
Hearting beating wildly from the noise and Dale’s reaction, you try to calm your breathing. “Just the fire,” you say, then fear creeps down your spine. “Right?”
Dale looks at the fireplace for an extra second, before he deflates, pulling back in on himself. “Yes.” He looks at you cautiously, as if wondering if you’ll judge him for overreacting or for showing so much of himself when you were just discussing how he needed to do better at just that. “I apologize. My form is quite instinctive.”
“It’s alright.” You place your hand on Dale’s upper arm, turning him back towards you. “I think we’ve both been on edge these last few days.” You want to get back to where you were, sharing and together. You want him calm once more because he deserves to be after the journey to get here. “What do you mean by instinctive?” you ask, wanting to know more, wanting to figure out the right way to tell him that it was okay. You didn’t mind. His inhuman traits might still surprise you, but they never frighten you. He’s mesmerizing and thrilling and so much more than human. It's actually one of your favorite things about Dale.
He takes a measured breath, clearly wanting to follow you back to normality. Well, normality for you two. “While anchored to this body, my essence is still mine to command as well. It flexes and forms according to my desires and instincts as it did when I was only a shade. I try to keep that within or hidden, however...
You wait with baited breath, so interested in anything to help you understand the most obviously inhuman part of him.
“If I am curious, I create more eyes with which to observe. If I need more reach, I grow more limbs.” His lips quirk, as if remembering what you said earlier, “If I am hungry, more mouths.” You smile in recognition. Dale continues, a frown you recognize as one where he’s trying to translate what this means for him into meaning you can parse, “In many ways, trying to control such manifestations is anathema. Attempting to maintain a neutral facial expression when someone is trying to make you laugh.”
“I see.” It’s a helpful comparison. You remember the games you played in your dorm—including that one. Everything thinking of ridiculous or scandalous things to say in order to make the others break and laugh. It also makes his reaction of putting himself between you and potential danger all the sweeter. “Then perhaps I have not given you credit for the control you do have.”
“I’m sure you’ve given me precisely the credit I deserve,” Dale says wryly, some stress leaving him as he speaks. “It sounds like this is the aspect of my deception you’ve helped most with and I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful to be here, with you.”
“Me too.” You stare up at him, feeling the firm muscle of his arm under your hand, the tightly wound tension still present despite your attempts at reassurance and distraction. You want to truly take his mind away from everything, more than you want that for yourself. You want to relieve the stress you’ve both been under, enjoy what you now have. You want to make Dale not just grateful for not being betrayed, but truly happy—with you.
A clock strikes the hour, obvious as it breaks the silence between you. Dale steps back, picking up his forgotten cup of tea. “It’s getting late, I don’t mean to keep you awake after such an eventful day.”
“I’m not—” you start to protest before cutting yourself off. If Dale wanted a polite path out of tonight’s typical obligations, you should let him. You muster up a small smile, hoping what disappointment and frustration you feel reads as exhaustion. “Yes, I suppose it has certainly been a long day.”
You walk over to the tea table to put down your cup, gathering your leftover supplies. Telling yourself you’re not stalling in the hopes he changes his mind and wants you as a spouse and not simply a confidant, however much you’re enjoying being one to him.
As you move, you’re uncomfortably aware of your chemise. Despite being soft and well made as it is, you feel awkward in your nightclothes. A pretty, but slipshod attempt to make this night something Dale never wanted. He’s still in his waistcoat, for star’s sake.
The garter you’ve on around your thigh is the most uncomfortable and you try to remember if your maid had actually tied it with a purity knot. With a pang, you recall her checking it was still tight when she helped you out of your other clothes after arriving here. Surely, you could figure it out on your own despite its supposed notoriety for being unable to be done by a person who can’t see the knot itself. That’s why it was tradition to do up a betrothed’s garter with it.
But what if you couldn’t? What would be worse? To ask Dale for his help now so you might leave with some dignity after it was undone? Or to leave and have to return for his aid then? No, worst would be to do neither and have your maid be the one to untie it in the morning and know you weren’t enticing enough to tempt your husband into doing so himself.
Regretfully, you turn around, back to where you’d been sitting earlier. “Before I go to bed,” you start, lifting your foot to place it on the ottoman at the foot of his bed.
“What are you doing?” Dale cuts you off, his voice raising in alarm at the end of his sentence when you begin lifting the hem of your chemise.
You give him the driest look you can manage, hoping it hides your embarrassment. “It’s our wedding night, Dale. No one else knows we’re discussing your inhuman nature. They’ll assume we were occupied elsewise. And they’ll ask you about it.”
“Ask—,” Dale sounds personally offended, as if he’s forgotten how certain people will act—because they’re nosey or crude or lack tact. “Not in any sort of—,” he stops and starts again, staying rooted to where he stands instead of making himself useful. “You don’t need to—”
“The garter was tied with a purity knot,” you cut him off before he can continue to prove all your communication issues are not over by not taking a hint and damaging your ego at the same time. You try to remind yourself of all the compliments he’s paid you instead reading into the look of mild panic on his face now when confronted by the mere sight of your bare leg. “I need your help taking it off.”
“You do?” his voice sounds a bit weak, almost reluctant, and you swallow down another wave of disappointment and embarrassment.
“It was tied very tightly and specifically,” you say, grateful your voice, while a little strained, is otherwise close enough to how it typically sounds. “I can’t manage the knot, especially since it’s behind me. You should probably have it regardless.”
Dale blinks and some of his frozen posture thaws. He has that look you’ve seen multiple times, especially in the last few hours—he’s remembered some bit of human knowledge. Hopefully, he chalks this whole experience up to an oddity of humanity and nothing further. “Of course, yes. I don’t know how I forgot about this. One of my cousins tried to convince me to wear one as well this very morning—Grandfather didn’t leave me alone once I told him I would be getting married after all.”
You have to work hard to keep your facial expression from showing how pleasing you find the image of Dale with a matching yellow garter on his leg that you would have gotten to carefully untie, like a present on Midwinter.
He walks over to you, less nervous, but still cautious. You resume pulling your chemise up, hoping he doesn’t think this is some sort of deliberate seduction—caught between hoping you don’t look foolish and wishing he at least found you somewhat pleasing.
Carefully, you hold up the hem to just above the garter, the lace feeling even tighter to your skin. You have to suppress a shiver when you see Dale’s eyes on your bared skin. He reaches for you, a single finger twirling in the dark blue ribbon—which matches his own suit. His eyes dart up to your own for a split second, his pupils already noticeably dark and blown wider. You know they don’t react like humans do, and probably only mean he’s trying to see in better detail, but you feel goosebumps break out across your skin.
He finally grasps the garter itself and gives a little tug to turn it so the knot is towards the front. It’s tight enough that he moves your leg more than the garter. You murmur an apology, one hand on the low footboard of the bed to try to hold yourself steady.
He shakes his head, waving off your apology. “Why on the Surface is this so tight? My apologies for not helping you with it sooner.”
Your own dismissal of his apology is cut short when he wraps the fingers of his right hand around your upper calf, right below your knee and tries again to turn the garter. His grip is strong and unyielding, keeping you in place for him to work and making desire pulse through you at the obvious display of strength. He gives up when the garter’s only made a quarter turn. Since he’s at your side, that must be helpful enough.
You swallow down a bereft noise when he lets go of your calf to use both fingers on the laces. Carefully, he pulls out the ties’ ends from where they were woven back into the garter—another reason they’re hard to undo by oneself. Then he sets to work on the knot itself, his fingers continuously brushing your skin as he tugs and pulls.
He’s so close to you like this, practically looming over you, crowding you against this end of the bed. It would be so easy to fall and bring him with you, on top of you. A knot of a sort twists itself between your legs from his proximity and his touch. You desperately want him to untangle that one too.
He leans closer to see better and it's so unfair. Why has the universe let you get so close to what you want but left you unable to grasp it?
Dale’s noise of triumph causes you to look back down at him as he slides the garter down and, with even more room, off. “There we go,” Dale says, his voice low and soft, with a little bit of smug pride at having finished his task. Before you can lower your leg, he hisses in sympathy. You look down to see lines pressed into your skin, a stark reminder of where the garter had been.
You can feel blood flowing back into that area and it hurts more than it had before Dale had untied the garter. Dale reaches back out for you and rubs his fingers over the marks. “This must have hurt, my apologies once more.”
You shake your head as you fight to keep your eyes from fluttering in appreciation of Dale’s strong fingers massaging that part of your upper thigh back to life. “Thank yo—” you cut yourself off with a gasp when Dale’s fingers drift to the inside of your thigh, which is far more sensitive—not to mention how much closer it begins Dale to where your appreciation is making itself known, gathering at the apex of your thighs and threatening to drip down to where Dale can’t help but notice.
Another stroke of his thumb provokes a hum of pleasure from deep in your chest that you can’t contain. Dale breathes deeply before he finally looks away from your thigh to meet your eyes. You can’t even see any white left in his eyes: his irises are a vibrant blue, glowing with soft light, surrounding dark, wide pupils.
He’s not breathing at all anymore, which you only notice because you have to resist the urge to pant. Then he lets out a sigh, his voice like the wind as he breathes, “You’re so beautiful.”
“You, what?” your voice is high and breathless as he leans closer. “Truly?”
“Yes,” his reply is swift, barely having to think about it. “Of course.” At your continued look of wide eyed surprise, he elaborates, “I was nearly ready to retract my calling off the wedding, no matter my attempt at being better than my nature, when you came to see me simply from how you looked alone. The reminder of what I was giving up.”
His eyes slide up and down your form, before he leans so close your foreheads are nearly touching. His voice is low and almost distracted as he says, “Dressed up so pretty for me.” He moves one hand from your leg to tuck one of your curls behind your ear. “My healing ray of sunshine.”
Heat shoots through your veins at his half-lidded gaze, at his words, at his breath on your lips. “Dale…” Your voice is pleading to a degree that surprises even you. You don’t have time to feel self-conscious about how needy you sound when Dale groans in response, his lips covering yours the next instant.
Soft but insistent, he pushes everything away except for the feel of him pressed against you. The hand still on your thigh, gives a little squeeze, while his other hand cups your cheek, as he’d tried to this morning. He pulls away for a second and your hands wrap themselves in his waistcoat to keep him near. He seemingly needs no persuading as he goes in for another kiss.
His teeth, sharp as they are, tug only gently on your bottom lip, little pinpricks of sensation that send shivers down your spine. You push your hands up his chest and onto his shoulders as you open up to him with a sigh.
His tongue is hotter than the rest of him as it slides into your mouth and you melt in his grasp, wrapping your arms more fully around his neck to keep yourself some semblance of upright. Your pulse thrums with desire as he moves against you and it's all you can do to hold on tight. The flick of his tongue sets your blood simmering. His thorough kiss ignites a hunger in your bones. He pulls back eventually, remembering you both need to breathe, but you don’t care.
You’ve spent so much time at his side, unable to go after what you truly wanted, ask for what you truly want to, that you tighten your hold on him as best you can so he can’t drift away again. Without realizing it, the word “please” falls from your lips to linger in the shared air between you.
Dale’s head tilts back, which is the opposite of what you want, but it seems it’s only to better look you in the eye. “Yes?” He looks startled, despite how you’ve been acting, but eager.
“Yes.” You nod emphatically, past the point about appearing foolish as long as he understands.
“You’d taken this so well,” he says, that same bewildered hope that had sprung up when you said you wanted to marry him back in his eyes. He kisses your skin just below your ear while his hand slides up your side. “I didn’t want to press my luck.”
He captures your mouth in another deep kiss, seemingly unable to help himself
“Uh-uh,” you say once you have a moment to breathe and the wherewithal to speak. You feel drunk on his kisses, the rest of the world and its concerns lost in this heady haze. “This is my reward for getting us here.” Somewhere within, you find the courage to ask, “Haven’t we earned it?”
“More than twice over,” Dale breathes before he sits down on the bed and holds out a hand, “Come here.”
#my writing#story: nothing's wrong with dale#story part#nothing's wrong with dale#monster romance#terato#exophilia#osha compliant#monster bf#reader#arranged marriage#slow burn#this was a beast to write and worse to edit#its so long#its 11k#i would break it up but we're so close to the end#and i put in the chapter count ages ago and want to stick to it#hope you enjoy the lore and backstory and that its not too rambly#but after going so long without actually talking about things i think they deserve it#and well#the next chapter too ;)#only one more left#hope u enjoy!#ps if ur looking for the fade to black ending#that would b this chapter
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i've noticed a bit of discourse over the span of me being back here about peer recognition &what that does to a person's mental on socials.
idk if it's because of my inactivity or because i've just been on tumblr for 10+ years but it really puzzles me when i see someone fretting over the amount of notes and/or social engagement their posts seem to lack. of course we as humans love peer recognition &validation but i'd hate to think that's all some people care to focus on when it comes to their blogs.
i think we all should be posting whatever we want without trying to calculate how many notes we'll receive on any one single post because that's setting yourself up for disappointment. if you're a simblr.. i'd like to assume you came here because you enjoy playing your game, creating content or using it as a creative outlet to express your form of individuality.. the notes in this case should sort of act as a bonus.
people have lost their heads.. ranting in txt posts about their content "flopping" or feeling like they don't belong here.. &it's just like.. take a deep breath.. it's okay.. you'll survive. also idk what flopping is when it comes to simblr, because.. if i get anywhere between 10-100 notes from loyal followers that have engaged with me from day 1, can recognize my OCs &are genuinely paying attention to what's going on (because they care that much).. that's a hell of a lot more rewarding to me than amassing 500-1k notes because a popular simblr randomly decided to reblog me that day.
please learn to love your game, your blogs, your cc & yourself. because what's the point of notes if you're not even genuinely happy with your game in the first place? you'll continue to have unrealistic expectations &end up in that rabbithole of forcing yourself to do tzrs, spam liking &reblogging others just to get that in return &trust me it comes off super fake &people will notice that too.
#ive seen ppl be like "i keep reblogging ppl &doing tzrs but my posts are still flopping#i think ive just been here too long#because 5 yrs ago you were lucky if you even got 50 notes &2 comments#i think the influx of ts4 simmers..patreon.. &renders changed how simblr looks today#because let me tell you.. 1k+ notes on post rarely happened and that really was only if it was a damn good piece of cc#i mean i have 11k followers.. am i getting 11k notes.. fuck no#which is why i wanted to make a new blog#so i can keep track of the ppl who really fuck with me and vice versa#i think we should just stop treating simblr like a high school cafeteria &get back to the essence of what makes us happy
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HARRY STYLES + duets
"You’re Still the One” / Kacey Musgraves
“Landslide” / Stevie Nicks
“Vossi Bop” / Stormzy
“Man! I Feel Like a Woman” / Shania Twain
“What Makes You Beautiful” / Lizzo
“No Hard Feelings” / Ellie Rowsell
“Boyfriends” / Ben Harper
#harry styles#gif#flashing /#long post /#scheduling this to post after five long winters in purgatory (not really i've had this drafted since august BUT! updated recently... obvi)#consider this my delayed 11k (:o !!!) and/or holiday season offering 🫶#although i wiiiiish there were more videos of no hard feelings so i didn't feel th eneed to switch my stevie gif to a hugging one to make it#feel a little more cohesive but also where are the barricade girlies with their 4k videos of boyfriends they've failed me
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Here’s a little preview of my upcoming Avatrice celebrity AU that’s partly inspired by Taylor Swift x Travis Kelce.
—
Ava’s posture oozes confidence, which is impressive for someone so young when the room is filled with so many reporters.
Beatrice listens intently, her book long forgotten, as Ava answers questions about her upcoming match.
She speaks professionally about her preparations, her team's strategies, and her unwavering dedication to the sport. But every so often, she’ll crack a joke or flash a bright, playful smile that endears her to both the reporters and Beatrice.
It’s infectious, and Beatrice finds herself becoming increasingly smitten with Ava’s mannerisms, not to mention the subtle hint of an accent that is quite sexy.
The questions posed to Ava are fairly straightforward, and for the most part are to do with football – Beatrice wishes that she was more up to speed on the sport, but alas, she’s always found rugby to be more entertaining.
The press conference continues along, until one reporter asks Ava about her recent attendance at Beatrice’s concert. “You were at the Beatrice Young gig at Wembley on Saturday night, how was it?”
Betarice’s eyes are glued to the screen as Ava laughs at the question, her cheeks reddening.
“It was awesome yeah!” the football player answers, her smile right and wide. “Although, I was a little butt hurt I didn't get to hand her one of the bracelets I made for her. If you're up on her concerts, there are friendship bracelets handed out. I received a bunch of them, but I wanted to give Beatrice one with my number on it.”
Beatrice gasps out loud to her empty room, her heart in her throat at what’s just been said. Ava Silva wanted to give her a bracelet with her number on it? What did that mean?
The reporter echoes Beatrice’s thoughts with his next question, “Are you referring to 83, your shirt number or your phone number?”
With what can only be described as a ‘shit eating grin’ Ava winks at the camera, “I’ll let you figure that one out.”
The room erupts in laughter and shared whispers, and Beatrice's cheeks flush a deep shade of crimson.
#avatrice fanfic#avatrice fanfiction#avatrice#warrior nun#my writing#celebrity au#ava silva#sister beatrice#trust me this is gonna be a long one#i’m in 11k+ words and counting so far
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would anyone be interested in... subby leon perhaps...... 🤔
#yamwrites#i have something almost finished and it is Long LKSDJFA#like 11k long tbh#but i like it#and leon is such a good boy yknow#i'll post dom leon too dont worry guys#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy smut
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Falling Stars
the universe grants wishes to selfless hopefuls.
contents of this chap : fluff fluff esp at the end, a bit of angst, fem!reader, reader!twin of tsukishima kei, reader has to-be-revealed illness, anxious!reader, usage of first names, full names on mention are in lastname-firstname (japanese custom), japanese honorifics and vocabs present, HAIKYUU setting and vball jargons, pre-timeskip, character build-up, mentions of blood
warnings ⚠️ : English is not the author's first language. This fic has a draft Wattpad version. I do not own Haikyuu, its characters, plots and settings. Everything you see different here from the anime-manga is a becoming of my fictional world.
"Blue" for texts and chats. "Green" for calls. "Orange" for memory prompts. "White" for background convos that are audible to the reader.
wc : 12,153 words
Cassie : it may be a bit boring but it's the plot im taking soー ENJOY!
PREV | CHAP 2 | NEXT [masterlist]
Saitama Skies
"And it's even correct!! It's correct!!"
Oh my God. Anyone won't know how frustrated you were when you saw the damn exam papers. Oh my God. You wanna go and grab someone's hair right now. Oh my God.
Kei was already chuckling when he heard the results. Even more when he saw it. Tadashi was in your left, sighing and didn't know what to do to help. Tobio and Shoyo was leaning on the window totally void of anything. Are they still breathing?
"And that's how the two of you have to attend the supplementary lessons."
"Shut up, Kei!" You wallowed more to Tadashi, hitting your forehead on his shoulder as he took Tobio's paper from you to see. "They've worked so hard! We've worked so hard!"
"Now, all you can do is beg to the Principal. Although, it'll probably be useless."
You wanna grab Kei's hair then and there with his teasing and blunt tone. You turned to him, about to smack him out of frustration when the three of you noticed that the human subjects of discussion were already nowhere to be found in their initial positions.
"Where'd they go?"
"Probably out to do something stupid for Sawamura-san to explode later."
You closed your eyes in frustration and the mannerism went on. You felt a hard flick on your forehead and you glared at Kei.
"Everything will be alright. Don't stress too much." Tadashi said as he rubbed and massaged your shoulders.
But that's not it. What if they can'tーNo, no. You can't lose hope in them. Butー!! Kei's flinching and Owws were heard throughout the hallway that lunch. "Yes, that's a way to de-stress, Y/n."
But it just came back after that long day at Sakanoshita storeーthe new after-school tutor location. Chikara let them repeat the same questions for their failed tests and they just got lower scores than their original ones.
The second years and Tadashi were ready to help Tobio and Shoyo reach their maximum effort to pass the supplementary test. You had no choice but to help too because as what Coach Ukai said, We can't function well without the Stupid Quartet, and that includes these two. Though Kei don't like the thought of you stressing out while tutoring the duo, he stays as long as he wants just to be with you, making sure Tadashi will be the one to drop you home once he decides to go home first. Not even making an effort to help. Ugh!
Tobio and Shoyo were too thankful for the help of the team, excluding Kei's blunt remarks of course. The third years were busy enough for their own tests but they did spare time to check up on the situation, leaving the tutorial leadership to Chikara.
It dragged on for days and the weekend is nearing. They're improving little by little, putting more effort than they can, pressuring themselves. Well, you can't achieve something without pressure when it comes to cram-school. In between breaks, they would come to your classroom and try-out the exam again with you and Tadashi reevaluating their papers.
"Okay, stop your pens." You declared one time when you're all back at the store.
You got their papers, handed one to Chikara and evaluated their answers, your eyes twitching at Shoyo's wrong answers. You can feel the tension in them while waiting for the both of you to finish. When done, you deadpanned at Shoyo and handed him his paper, together with Chikara to Tobio. You watched their reaction drop at the sight of their scores, and you whined incoherently with them.
"Sorry, Y/n-san, everyone. Eventhough you worked so hard for us." Shoyo's dejected and void of all emotions as he muttered, Tobio immobilized at his own seat. "I guess I'll try my best at cycling to Tokyo."
You glanced at Kei that had his lips scrunched to the side watching the duo's scene.
"You can't give up! You can do it!"
"That's right! Let's continue!"
"It's useless, they're totally broken."
Kei sighed at your sight, brows creasing more. He slowly approached the duo and picked their papers.
"And here I thought of how well both of you can do, but it's just this much."
You saw Tobio and Shoyo flinched at his words while still in their dejected state. You flickered your eyes nervously at Kei, noting that this is not the time for his talent. He took a disappointing look at the papers.
"To be stumped by such textbook level questions, you are beyond saving."
"Kei!" You scream-whisper his name, eyes widened with worry as all of you in the store were looking at your twin, except for the two subjects that's still flinching in annoyance and embarassment.
He smirked and chuckled as he looked straight into your eyes. "The answers are all in the passage for Modern Lit, it should be nice to be a simpleton for a king like you, huh, Ou-sama?ー" Tobio was flinching hard in his seat at the words, burning red ears illiciting. "ーand isn't English just a language? Oh, but I guess it's impossible for a monkey to learn such language huh?" He continued, not breaking eye contact. And you're getting his motives, his point. You bit your lip, you can't smile. Shall not. This was his way of helping all along.
He placed the papers on the table. "Ah, it seems like it'll be a fulfilling and peaceful Tokyo training camp without you both. Ah, so grateful." He walked to the doors and you pouted. He's leaving already? "Then, I'll be going first~" And he closed the doors nonchalantly and walked home.
That fauxing blunt twin!
But thanks to those words of his that Tobio and Shoyo got more motivated to pass the supplemental exams.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
You were lost in those scenes that happened just days ago when you heard gasps and your name getting screamed at. And then you felt it, square to your face.
They scrambled towards you, the referee whistling for a time-out, but all you see are black spots over the ball on your feet. You feel hot liquid dragging to your nostrils, metallic as it tastes on your lips and mouth. You see red spots on your white shirt before you realized what had happened. You blinked rapidly as you felt the pain coursing through your torso you have to scrunch your face and hunch forward to control it, it made you breathless.
"Y/n, towー"
"Hey, I didn't mean to."
A new voice sounded in your ear. You tried to look up but the pain is prohibiting you to do past a shallow breath. You saw a pair of white shoes with dark gray streaks in front of you and it was covered immediately when the owner squatted in, peeking at your face.
"I'm sorry."
Golden dilated orbs met yours as they blinked with concern, then it changed to wonder. You're achingly aware that there were voices around you but now, it seemed muffled. The pain in your torso subsided until it reduced to a beating tolerable pain at a concentrated point in your back. And you're achingly more aware that you're staring, given that his lips were moving as if he was talkーwhat
"I'm fine. It's okay." Your voice triggered the muffled voices to normalize and you're back on the court. You looked everywhere but his eyes.
"You sure? Can I check your nose?" Your rapid blinking reoccured and you slowly straightened your back, careful not to feel the pain again that's subsiding in your back. Your eyes shot to his hand closing the gap to your face when Tadashi stepped in between, hand shielding your face.
"Please, don't touch her senpai. Sh-She'sー" You can't look up to him for you're vigilant of your movements but you felt him glance at you. The hand of the golden-eyed player stuttered in the air and was drawn back to himself, glazing golden eyes still training on your face.
"Shimizu-san, Kinnoshita-san. Can you please take her to wash her face and to where her things are? And please don't touch her yet." Your throat whined at Kei's low voice in your back. It's so low that you felt everyone around tensed, you closed your eyes.
You felt Kei's breathe in your ear as he whispered, "Don't daze out during practices. It's in your bag. Go, be careful. Yamaguchi and I won't be with you."
You opened your eyes just to find the golden eyes still staring at you in concern, flickering to you and Kei. Then you noticed his gray brows, his sweating forehead and his hair. You blinked twice.
"Let's go, Y/n-chan? Your nose is really bleeding."
You tore up your gaze and focused on standing up, reluctant, but you successfully acted on with no responsive pain. The golden-eyed player stood from his knees too, towering over you and keeping distance from you as you were followed by Hisashi to the washroom, Kiyoko at your side, her hands assisting you without touching.
"Bokuto! Where are you going?"
"Iー"
Every step was painful because of the sensivity your body is in right now, even more so at this unknown feeling that's keeping you calm through all of this.
"I'm sorry, Coach Ukai. I really didn't mean to."
"Why are you crying!?"
"Akaashi!! Bokuto's crying!!"
"It's okay, Bokuto. Accidents happen. She'll be okay."
"Let's get back to the game?"
"Butーbut with all that blood, she'll die!!"
"She'll be fine, Bokuto-san."
You turned right to the gym's washroom and went straight to the sink where it's faucet has already been turned on by Kiyoko. The pain has already left you, suspiciously fast.
"Do you have Yamaguchi's towel, Kinnoshita?"
"Yes. Here." Hisashi handed Kiyoko Tadashi's towel. You smiled at it as you see it's the Doraemon one you got him during middle school.
"I'm sorry for him, Keishin-kun."
"No one dies from a nosebleed, Bokuto you idiot!"
"Konoha-sanーNo one dies from it, Bokuto-san."
The blood's still flowing but you can't stop smiling, creepy because the blood drips to your peeking teeth in your reflection. Hisashi groaned and kept his eyes shut at your reflection.
"So.. that was an intense eye contact, Y/n-chan."
"Really? I don't want her to die Akaashi.."
Your breath hitched and Hisashi groaned more when you choked on your blood and mucus. You shut your eyes tight at the searing sensation in your throat. Kiyoko chuckled on your side.
"Aaah! Stop it, Shimizu-saan! I didn't want to notice itt." Hisashi whined, head shaking intensely. Chuckling too, you started cleaning your nose and chin devoiding it from blood.
When finished, "What eye contact, Shimizu-san?"
"You saw it too, right, Kinnoshita? You were beside me." Kiyoko was beaming as she readied the towel. "Can I touch you now, Y/n?" You nodded and she held your shoulder and massaged the bridge of your nose down to let the blood flow more.
"Hm. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were emitting a scary aura we have to step away from them, well just me and Shimizu-san. I don't know about the rest of the team." Your cheeks felt hot and you closed your eyes in embarassment. Tadashi and Kei were most likely thinking about the unthinkable assumptions.
"It was nothing. He was just in my line of sight and I can't move."
They're suspiciously nodding and you narrowed your eyes in their reflection. "Really."
"Okay. Okay. But are you really okay?" You kept quiet as you continued to clean your nose. The blood has stopped flowing already but you can still taste it so you went and gurgle it out of your mouth.
"Yes, I'm okay and still breathing." You grinned and got Tadashi's towel from her and dabbed it to your face, Doraemon already wet.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
Kiyoko snickered when she saw you hugging your plushie as you were lying on your futon at the assigned room for the managers. You know why she snickered but you just gave her a faux questioning look.
"Hey, Y/n, we're sorry about Bokuto earlier. It really did hurt, didn't it?" You tilt your head up to see Yukie on her stomach, palms there for her head to rest.
Beside her, Kaori was sitting rubbing her tummy, closing her eyes. "I also got those a year ago in my tummy. It's impossible not to get hurt considering how strong his spikes are." You sat up and faced them while still clutching on your plushie.
"We saw her doubled over earlier, Kaori, and the blood was drippingーKuroo had Haiba-kun to mop after you went out to change."
"That simpleton ruining a lady's face! Really!" You smiled at them and they stuttered for a second.
"C'mon, it's an accident and it's fine, senpais. It didn't hurt that much. I get those accidents during middle school." You grinned as you tightened your hug, Kaori's eyes went down to notice it. Yukie and Kaori both snickered just like how Kiyoko snickered earlier, it made your head tilt in pure confusion now.
"Bokuto! You're not allowed in here!"
"Whyyy? I just wanna ask a favor from Yukippe and Kaokao!"
"Akaashi! Kuroo!"
"Let's go, Bokuto-san. Let the girls have their space."
"ButーAkaashi!"
You heard Ubugawa's manager Eri arguing with that Bokuto at the halls outside. You figured out the name of golden-eyed player is Bokuto with the way the others refer to him whenever you heard the name. Your brows raised in interest as to why he's here. Not like you care.
You heard Eri's laugh through the halls that made the four of you girls to draw confusion on your faces. It was followed by Kuroo's hyena laugh and a loud smack and a whine. Yukie stood and made way to the door out of confusion and peeked but was just followed by her laugh. You blinked and decided to sprawl again on your futon. On the corner of your eye, Kaori joined Yukie on the door but she was just irritated at the muffled noise and whispers.
"Hey! Do that tomorrow, Bokuto!" She was furious with her hands on her hips.
"Eeehh?? Okay~"
"I told you, Bokuto. Tomorrow."
"Fine! Fine!"
And you heard muffled shuffles getting far off from the door. Yukie and Kaori went back inside with Yukie glancing at your plushie and snickering again.
"Really! That simpleton is stressing me out!" Kaori huffed as she plopped back to her futon.
"What did he want?" You glanced at Kiyoko upon her question and yawned at her face focusing on Yukie and Kaori in confusion.
"He want nonsense again. He's like that everytime, we're really sorry! He's too loud, worse when he's with Kuroo." Her eyes went from Kiyoko to Eri that's entering the room. Eri's eyes went straight to your confused face and she bit her lip when she saw the plushie.
"You're really cute, Y/n-chan. The plushie is cute too!" She complimented as she made her way to her futon. "Mako can't be with us, she's sick and have to go home to rest." She was shuffling through her bag when she continued further. "That #12 in your team, what was his name again?"
You turned to her, amidst the talk with Kaori and Kiyoko. "Yamaguchi?"
"Yeah? He'll be here in any minute. He shyly asked me about your whereabouts when we were held up in the canteen. Something about your brother? Who's your brother?"
You blinked. What about Kei? "Tsukishima, the tall one with the glasses. Her twin brother." Kiyoko was the one who answered and she got back to her conversation with Kaori.
What happened to Kei? You furrowed your brows as you searched in your head for answers. Did something happen to him? Did he finally pin Shoyo to the ceiling like how he used to grumble about? Did he forget something? Did he need something that's in yourーOh. You smiled and got up again grunting.
"Where are you going?" Kiyoko asked as you rummaged through your bag to get something so cute too. She laughed with the other girls when they saw what you were holding, you laughed with them, a finger over your lips shushing them.
"I'm just gonna.." You pointed the door and they shooed you away.
You yawned as you made your way upstairs to the boys' rooms. And it dawned on you that you didn't know where their room is. You closed your eyes in irritation and you're about to go back to your room and just wait for Tadashi when Koshi yelled your name out of nowhere. The hallway that was bustling with murmurs and laughs fell dead silent, you bit your lip as you turned around to see him running towards you, heavy thuds off from a 5'8 running.
"We thought you're asleep with Shimizu already. What made yーwhat's that?" His eyes trailed to the plushie you have in your hand.
"Y/nnnn!!" You jumped at Tadashi's voice and he rushed to you the same manner as Koshi and snatched the plushie from you immediately, making you laugh.
"It's yours, Yamaguchi?" Koshi was chuckling at Tadashi. "It's cute! Dino plushie." Tadashi's face went beet red and you found yourself laughing louder, now with Koshi.
You heard a loud door opening and "Y/N! Stop laughing and go to sleep already!!". Yep, that's Kei.
You pouted. "Haii~ Good night! Love you!" You called out to him, not minding the sweet talks you have given to your brother through the hallway. You can see him blushing from embarassment in your mind that made you chuckle.
"He's not in the mood." Tadashi commented and huffed as he hugged you on one arm and gave you head kisses, still blushing from embarassment. "Go now. Good night. Love you." You returned the hug and prompts, a routine you have with him every night you separate ways in going home.
"Uhhh, how sweet. Can you give me a hug too, Y/n?" You snickered at Koshi's impulsive remark and hugged him too mindlessly, Tadashi battling not to raise a brow at your action. You felt Koshi stiffened for a second and chuckled as he returned your hug, palming your hair. His warmth against you, wrapping around, is new to you and it's comforting.
"Now I know why they're protective over you." He chuckled as he broke the hug himself. The limits of your head tilts dinging as you took your last one for the day.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
"Kageyama. In that fast attack that go whoosh, I'll stop closing my eyes. We can't stay like this. This isn't enough. I wanna decide where to hit the ball to."
"We tried that already, remember? It didn't work. I'll not invalidate you but if you keep insisting on this during this set, then I have no intention on putting a set up for someone I know would miss."
Shoyo's evolving at a scary pace. The team, even Coach, is seeing and feeling that. You just witnessed his collision with Asahi and it felt like he wanna steal the ball from the Ace. The team is also in a tension since then, maybe they had realized the same things that Shoyo said. We can't stay like this. This isn't enough. For someone that had seen their defeat against Aoba Johsai, I'd say he's not in the wrong.
Ittetsu was correct when he said that they are not the best, but they have always have room to grow. They just have to view their competitors as potential teachers that they can absorb techniques and strategies. You would have numerous to teach them but you can't impose it to them without them realizing what they really want to work with. You let out a sigh, being a coach is hard. You have to stick to just enhance and enhance and let them think.
"What will we do with Hinata, Y/n?"
"We still have to figure out what he really wants to do, Ukai-san."
You were standing side by side when you both noticed Koshi, Tobio and Shoyo getting off the gym. You exchanged looks and nonverbally agreed to eavesdrop.
Both of you heard about Shoyo's thoughts about the Seijoh match, and how he wanted Tobio to not apologize to him for something that's clearly his shortcoming. Tobio didn't deny him with an emotional outburst but he was just telling the truth, about how Shoyo's input is completely unnecessary, that it's not his call or anything that something he'll regret. It's a setter's job to bring out the maximum potential, a 100%. But he's wrong at somethingー
Tobio passed by you and Coach Ukai, having to half-ass bow and move on to the court.
"Sorry, Hinata, but I have to agree on Kageyama after hearing his reasons. That quick attack is already impressive and having that on the core of our attacks is essential right now."
You frowned more when Coach Ukai came out to them and agreed with Koshi.
"There's nothing wrong with you wanting to contribute even a little, Hinata, but that quick attack only hinges for a fraction of a second. Honestly, trying to decide where the ball will go to on that amount of time is impossible."
"On days when I'm in the groove, I can see things clearly from up there. Like everything is in slow motion. Just like Tanaka-san."
"Yeah, there are times when spikers can see the blockers clearly."
"And during that practice match with Seijoh, during that last point, I saw Great King's face.. his eyes."
"Oh, you think you sawー"
You stood straight and blinked rapidly in realization. You gulped hard, you wanted to tell them something.
"Even during that first 3-on-3 we had, I can see the entire court from up there, like I'm in a summit."
"Right, the impression Hinー"
It came quiet all of the sudden. Suddenly, Ryuunosuke bounded towards where you are and peeked to the trio talking outside.
"Game's about to start!" You heard a yelp from Coach, surprised by the sudden rollcall.
You wanna talk to Shoyo about something that'll make him at ease so you went to Coach Ukai to sub him for a while. He gladly obliged, full trust on you. Kazuhito went in replace for him.
"Hey." You approached him at the center of the two courts. He felt rejected and he stayed as far as possible from the team for the meantime. You pursed your lips at the thought and of how he just hummed in acknowledging you standing beside him.
"I can see it too, you know."
He whirled to you wide-eyed, shocked with the bomb you dropped, the bomb that told him he's not alone and that you understand him.
"I came in love with that sight. Too in love that I have to make my spikers see the view too. To share it to them. But never did they saw it. I initially thought I was imagining things, too. But it isn't."
His eyes glazed over. "IーY/n-sanー"
"Don't worry, Hinata. Everything will be alright, okay? Everything will turn out okay. Just be patient. I know what you want, but I'm just an assistant coach and still learning the trade, and I certainly don't want to impose my thing to the team. You guys have to think of what you really wanna do, that includes you and Kageyama. Tell me what exactly you both want, and I'm gonna teach you once, leave you to figure it out yourself, and enhance it afterwards." You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and patted him, consoling him, getting him back up to his stance even just a little bit.
You both jumped when you both heard a hum in your backs. Coach Ukai was there, listening. You blushed hard in embarassment.
"Hinata, if you think there's a way for that quick attack to evolve then I'll be glad to help coz I also want to see that. I don't have any clue on what toss you need to do that though. And I know she has a clue but will be too stubborn to just stick with her principles as a coach. But you can't impose to Kageyama that way, you'll just irritate him so no more games for you today. Sit it out with the rest on the bench."
Shoyo flinched and pouted. "Haii~" He went back to where Koshi and the others were, leaving you with Coach Ukai.
"You won't tell me too, are you?" You grinned at him and sticking out a peace sign before chuckling with him. "You're mean." He ruffled your hair before getting back to the bench. You followed him, poking at Tadashi's back on your way.
"Ah! Kuroo! Where are you looking at!? Damn it!"
"Just misjudged, Oni-senpai! Shut up!"
"Cover!"
"Lev!!"
"Bokuto-san!"
"Mine!"
"Noya-san!"
"Argh! Sorry!"
Kiyoko glanced at you and snickered, giving you a cheshire smile. "What is it, Kiyoko-san?" You whispered to her out of earshot from anybody around.
"One more time, Bokuto-san!"
"Three blockers!"
Her eyes raked its gaze on a certain player of Fukurodani, gained you a question on whoーyou hissed audibly for her to chuckle and turn to you again. You pouted and shook your head defensively.
Ugh, stop it Kiyoko-san before he notices and gets the wrong idea.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
"Y/n-chaaan! Kiyoko! See you in 2 weeks!" You looked back at Eri from the crowd that's seeing your team off. You and Kiyoko waved back at her and to the other managers.
"Byeee~!"
"Ah! What was that for!?"
"Hinataaaa! See you later!! I'll stop you next time too!"
"Hah! You're not gonna beat me that easy. I'm gonna show you a 5'4 can mop the floor with the 6'4!"
"Bokuto!! They're leaving!"
"Don't you wanna seeー"
"Let's go." Kei got your bag from you and slung it on his shoulders. "I told you to bring me or Yamaguchi your bag. Tsk."
You pouted and followed him to the bus with the others. "You had so much on your shoulders already." He quirked a brow on you and you rolled your eyes.
"Y/n!" Your eyes turned to Koshi that's already inside the bus, head poking out the window. "You want the window seat? C'mon, hurry!" You grinned and hurried your way onto the bus.
"Tsk! Don't run!"
You hopped on the seat Koshi reserved for you, all smiles. Kei followed through and went on a seat at your back and pulled some of your hair with a glare. You returned his glare and Koshi chuckled next to you. You pouted at him and was about to whine at him when you saw his eyes going through youーto the back of your head, through the windows. You dared not to look. He chuckled mindlessly and patted your head. Your first head tilt of the day.
When the bus' engine revved, you turned to the crowd beside your bus and waved goodbye, catching a glimpse of that certain someone talking with anotherーor rather arguing. You quickly turned your gaze up front before he notices.
The rest of the ride was quiet due to the tension and exhaustion, except for the occassional sneezes you had, Koshi had to hand you a packet of tissues.
The tension broke off when Shoyo called you over to toss for him and Tobio. Kei agreed mindlessly but just until they finish changing.
You kept tossing to Tobio and he tossed to Shoyo, of which Shoyo was never successful. His attention's on the ball and not on his maximum jump. You tried to call him out for it but Tobio races you to it. The argument heated and heated up more when Tobio grabbed Shoyo by the collar and threw him across the court. Shoyoーperplexed and agitated by Tobio relentless wordsーlaunched to him and held on to him. You tried to stop them but you were out of options.
You held on to the gym's door and shouted for Kei or anyone so loud it might've disturbed some nearby houses and teachers that are still in the school's vicinity. "Hinata and KageyamaーKei!! Anyone!!"
The club room from upstairs flung open so harshly and Ryuunosuke hurried down for the gym, Kei and Tadashi following him. Yuu who was still in his boxers hurriedly wore his sweatpants, not minding that he's still shirtless, and went down as well.
Ryuunosuke yelled for Tobio and Shoyo who was so busy on each other and punched them together. You felt tears coming down your cheeks from the helplessness and someone hugged you from behind giving you headkisses and shushing your shaking self from the commotion, your eyes still glued at the two boys getting reprimanded by Ryuunosuke.
"Hey." The someone who was hugging you spoke. You heaved a shaky sigh and turned to Tadashi and hugged him. "It's alright. It's always like this with boys."
"You and Kei aren't like that." He chuckled and pats your hair down, giving you back rubs along the way.
"I told you both on our way back to not argue or brawl like this in front of my sister, didn't I? Didn't I? You're both really stupid. Can't you just talk it out without fighting? Huh? Too stupid to just talk?" Kei was towering on the duo, anger was seeping on his veins. The duo just went silent and muttered a hushed apology.
"Are you okay, Y/n-chan?" You peeked at Yuu against Tadashi's shoulders and smiled at him. "You're pale."
"I'm okay, Noya-san." He studied you for a couple seconds as you broke free from the hug and he nodded on, still wary.
"We'll go ahead. Both of you, stop it."
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜・
"Y/n." Tobio approached you warily, keeping an eye on Tadashi and Kei nearby. He stared at you and bowed, "I'm sorry." Your eyes bulged and quickly, you straighten up Tobio's back but to no avail, it caught the hallway's attention already, Kei and Tadashi eyeing on that little commotion. Tadashi had to stop Kei from prancing to where Tobio is.
"It's okay, Kageyama." Tobio looked at you, still wary. "What is it? You have more to say?" His expression piqued your interest, an expression that's too shy but resolved.
"Can we go to Sendai together after class?"
"No!"
You glared at Kei that's glaring at Tobio. Tobio scowled at Kei and fiddled his fingers when he faced at you again. "I wanna talk to your dad for advices? He's a setter, right?"
"I'm a setter, too, you know?" You chuckled at your reveal that surprised him. "You don't have to go to Sendai. But we'll go to another nearby place that'll maybe help you think of what to do. Come by the room at dismissal."
"I said no!"
But those Nos from Kei fell on deaf ears when Tobio really came by and fetched you. Tadashi approached him at the door, Kei close by. You didn't hear their conversation as you arranged your things, took your change of clothes, and left your bag on Kei's desk.
"ーgot it?" was all you heard as you approached them. Tobio nodded and took a glance at you over Tadashi's shoulder. Kei turned to you, scowling. "Change first. Kageyama-kun will be waiting."
It didn't take long and Tobio found himself chattering away with you on the ride to this certain volleyball clinic nearby. He even complimented your shirt that says: Setters are the rulers of the court. You told him you bought it three years ago in your brother's Tokyo Spring High.
"When I saw Hinata in Karasuno, I never thought I'll have a friend and a partner in one, Y/n. The one that can give me exhileration in just putting up those sets previous spikers can't hit. IーHe's my bestfriend." You smiled at him after he opened up about what happened the other night between him and Shoyo. You never thought of him as a confesser, but you like this side of him, more than his stoic face.
"Then, we shall do something about what he wants." You said as you stopped in front of a building. "Wait here. Sensei will be finished in a minute. I'll get him for you."
He nodded then you trotted inside the building. Maybe due to your height you hadn't noticed a kid bumped to you after running around. You kneeled in front of the kid and checked up on him.
"I'm sorry. Can you stand?" The kid stared at you and nodded. You helped him up while you're still squatting and checked his back for possible wounds and bruises.
"I'm sorry, pretty onee-chan." You felt your cheeks burned at that innocent compliment and you ruffled his buzz-cutted head. "It's okay. Be careful next time, hm?"
You stood up, worried that you might have took too much time and your sensei would be off home. A familiar looking face were walking to the kid behind you and you tried to remember wherever you saw him.
"Takeru, what happened?"
"I bumped to that pretty onee-chan, Tooru."
"You're clumsy, stop running around or I'll put you on a leash. Let's go."
You had reached an empty gym and groaned. Now, what to do with Tobio? Should you just tell him what kind of toss he needed to practice to match up with Shoyo is a falling toss? Your brows were furrowed as you made your way out of the building to deliver the news to Tobio. But he was already talking to that same guy you saw a while ago. And that was when it clicked to you.
The captain of Aoba Johsai. The one they call Great King.
"Do you know you have a counterpart, Y/n? Well, senseis claimed he was your counterpart. Well, there were two, they said. Heard the coaches passing by the court this morning."
"Hm? What do you mean?"
"In the Boys', just here in our prefecture, there's this someone that has potentials and talents at the same level as you. Well, maybe he's stronger because he has more muscles being a man. And the other one is in another prefecture, in the south."
You raised your brows at the sudden interest. "I'm not some high level setter and certainly not interested in those 'man-muscles' but who in the prefecture are you referring to?"
"Oikawa-san! Please!" You saw how Tobio begged for this Oikawa Tooru to give him an advice.
"Takeru." The kid who bumped into you looked at Tooru. "Take a picture. Hereー" Tooru taught Takeru the ways on his phone. "Hold it right there. Press here." Tobio peeked at Tooru and Takeru going through the older's phone. "Tobio, don't move." You were curious of what he'll do. What was the picture for? You crossed your arms on your chest and stared at them down the stairs. They even hadn't noticed you yet.
"A proof that Tobio bowed down to the great me!" And he posed. Your eye twitched. No. He's not my counterpart in this one, you thought.
"Wow. You like these kind of pictures, Tooru? How lame." You nearly laughed out loud at Takeru's dissing, to where Tooru flinches.
"Anyway, what is it Tobio? I'm busy."
"Huh? But you told me your girlfriend dumped you so you had nothing to do all day." You have to bite your lip to stop quivering to laugh.
"Shut up, Takeru!"
"Uhmー" Both the younger and the older kid paused to look at Tobio now standing upright. "Ifーif ever all of the sudden Iwaizumi-san said he wants to improve an already crazy setー"
"Hold up there. If you wanna get an advice from me, just go straight to the point."
Tobio scowled and huffed. Go on, you need someone's advice from him right now. "Hinata's been doing the quick sets with his eyes closed and now, he wants to do it with eyes open, to hit it by himself."
Tooru hummed, and even with his back on you, you can feel he's emerged to the topic. "It will be great if he can do that. Let him."
Your lips curved at what he said. As expected. "But Oikawa-san, Hinata's poor on his basic skills. It's not that simple!" Tobio retorted at him.
"So you wanted him to just shut up and hit the tosses you give him? That sounds like a tyrant king would do."
One time in your life, you were that tyrant he was speaking of. You closed your eyes as you continued to listen to them discreetly.
"Have you ever thought of what tosses he would like to hit? Or did you even think he likes the tosses you put up? Did you even think about it?" Tooru smugly said, but he's right though. Tobio has to realize it himself.
"Are you scared of the change that you've been acting defensive thinking that quick attack of yours is already good enough?" You saw how the air around Tooru changed that Tobio slightly flinched. "Don't get the wrong idea. The attack's Chibi-chan's call, not yours. If you can't wrap it on your genius head, then you're just reverting back being the Tyrant King of the Court. Andー"
You freezed when he side-eyed you from where you were standing. "ーshe's in your team, right? She knows what I'm talking about. Why don't you ask her?" He moved down the stairs. "Let's go Takeru."
Both yours and Tobio's eyes are on Tooru's back for a minute before Tobio looked at you, his eyes eager. You sighed and went down to him, "Let's go back first."
As to how Tooru knew of you, you were curious. Well, sure, he might've heard from others and things you wanted to just not think of like.. you're quite popular from the Girls' Volleyball matches of Miyagi. You scowled involuntarily at the thought. You don't want people knowing you like that but circumstances can't help it from happening. And you hate it.
You were dreading about that, not noticing you were already walking with Tobio, passing by the Sakanoshita store. His ringing phone woke you up from your thoughts.
He answered it, eyeing you. "Oh?ーYeah, we're going back to the school now. ーShut up. ーOkay." And the second he ended the call, it rang again. You chuckled at his side, pulling him aside by the vending machine.
"Kageyama! Where are you!?"
Coach Ukai's voice is so loud you can hear it eventhough the call's not on speaker.
"Ukai-san? Y/n and I are already walking back to the school."
"Huh?"
And Ukai-san came out of nowhere and ran up to the both of you.
"A falling toss, Kageyama! You have to drop the ball!"
You instantly smile. Your instincts were right.
"I was about to give in." You laughed and Coach Ukai brought you both inside the store to discuss about that set.
But all he did was gave you the floor to explain it to Tobio and he just sat back there and fill in necessary comments for Tobio to find it easy to understand. When you're in a roll in explaining, all human languages scurry away and technical languages invade you. You wished Tobio had understood all you've said. He's focused, though, so was it successful?
"Tobio?"
"I didn't quite understand what Oikawa-san said." His eyes found yours, your brows perked up. "That it's Hinata's call, not mine, or any setter in that matter."
You hummed and glanced at Coach Ukai, still listening.
"I told you on our way there that setters are the rulers of the court, right? Like my shirt now?" He nodded, picking up every word you said.
"Rulers are somewhat a serving king. Serving its citizens while leading them. That's what we are. The spikers have different quirks and abilities and it's our responsibility to utilize it. If they want to evolve, we let them if it's good for the team. We can't stop them from it, you know. The spikers are the breadwinners of the team, and we are the ones who are pulling them to work."
"It's a setter's responsibility to evolve with the spiker, too. We have to meet their abilities, because in that way we can utilize their skills better. We have to properly accomodate them, devout ourselves to them to the best of our abilities." Coach Ukai added.
Tobio was silent, probably absorbing what you both said. And after a while, he nodded with a determined look on his face. "Can you both teach me how to do that falling toss?"
Coach Ukai rubbed the back of his neck and looked at you. "We might have to get permission from your brother, Y/n."
"Oh, not a problem."
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
Kei groaned as you glare at him. Why wouldn't you? He just left your plushie, probably still loitered in your genkan. Your poor plushie.
"You can sleep without your plushie."
Your plushie is your stress-reliever and he can't say you can sleep without it. You grabbed his dino plushie, "You can also sleep without this, Kei."
You discarded his plushie to Tadashi with a glare, he immediately took it while consciously eyeing Kei. The dino lover grumbled and crossed his arms, closing his eyes. "It's not even mine."
Tadashi chuckled, fist flew in his lips and turned away to his side of the window, and a few rows up front, Koshi snorted beside Daichi. Kei's face went scarlet and contorted and shifted his body towards the window, away from you. Huh. That's what you get.
Your face screams unpleasant too, leaning back at the seat, arms crossed. You really can't sleep. The upcoming five days of the training camp will be one hell of an eyebag-inducer camp. You closed your eyes in irritation thinking of ways of how to soothe your nerves to at least relax and maybe, with the blessings of the gods, sleep.
You woke up from a hard poke on your forehead. You groaned as you snuggled more to the crook of Kei's neck. He groaned too, clearly disgusted. He violently shook your thigh with his and you furrowed your brows before opening your eyes, glaring at his skin.
"We're near."
You slowly sat up while wiping whatever evidence of drool, wet and dried alike, is in the sides of your lips. You heard Kei clicked his tongue and rummaged on his bag to get a new shirt. You ignored him changing and looked out the window.
Your eyes and mouth rounded as it caught glimpse of a hilly district, the sunrise just far off the mountains at the distance. It's peaceful, it instantly captivated your heart.
"Are we still in Tokyo?" You queried as Ittetsu turned right to a less hilly driveway, more yawns all over the bus.
"Saitama, Y/n." His voice was hoarse as he maybe up the long drive from Miyagi. He pulled over and you peeked up front just to see familiar buses and stairs leading up to a building that says: Shinzen High School.
"Kei?" You excitedly waited for his approval to get out of the bus before anyone else, seeing two of the Nekoma players out and waiting for your team to pile out.
Kei nodded with a sigh and turned to Tadashi with a knowing look as you bounded out of the bus.
"Hiii~ Good morning~!"
"Keiii~"
Kei rolled his eyes as soon as he hears you chime towards him after a mock game. He was lounging with Daichi and Koushi at the stage side of the gym.
"What is it?"
"Can I be friendly with the other teams in the training camp?"
You heard Koushi chuckled at your question, Daichi's eyes on both you and Kei, amused.
"Why are you asking him that, Y/n?"
You shrugged and pouted. "They might not like it, Suga-san. It's betー"
Kei groaned, cutting you off. "It's okay. Just don't get out of our peripherals."
"Good morning." Nekoma's setterーyou remembered his name was Kenma or somethingーlazily replied. "Shoyo?"
"Seriously Kenma, you only care about chibi-chan." You gazed at Kenma's back who was eyeing at the bus where you came from. And his troubled eyes fell on you and lingered as you heard the others coming out from the bus. "Good morning, Y/n, how's the ride?"
You felt your system getting excited, not with his question but with the interaction. You haven't been making friends out of Kei's circle of friends he insists they're all acquiantances but you're seeing otherwise, well except for Tadashi for all your life but this is worth a shot.
"It's amazing. Though I slept the whole ride." You giggled and you see how the brows of the raven-black haired boy shot up to the sound of it. "Saitama's view is relaxing, Kuroo-san!"
He hummed and smiled at you, the team's noise already close behind you. "I should offer to carry the bags for our kouhai managers."
It didn't slip your eyes how Kenma's brows quirked at Tetsurou, and giving him a deadpan look. "Ah, no thanks Kuroo-san! My brother's got it already."
He nodded and was already distracted by how the rest of the team filed in next to you. You shot a glance at Tadashi who was already looking at you, and you winked at him before going up the stairs, with him trailing and grumbling behind.
"Hey! Slow down, miss!"
You were about to laugh when a tall Russian came bounding down the stairs to meet you. He was all smiles and sunshine, it was infectious.
"You're Y/n-chan right? Hi! The others are murmuring about you upstairs!"
"LEV!"
You heard Tadashi hummed a suspicious streak, but you ignored it keeping your own enthusiastic streak. "Oh? Yes, I'm Y/n! You must be Lev? Hi!"
"You're really pretty!"
You were taken aback slightly and grinned at his straightforwardness. "Thank you Lev! You're really tall."
"LEV!!"
"It's in my genes." He suddenly patted your head while grinning. "I'll come back for you later, Y/n-chan. Kuroo-nii-san's calling." And he bounded down the stairs for Tetsurou.
Tadashi stared at you and shook his head, it made you jokingly gasp. "What? He was being friendly, Guchi-guchi."
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go."
The climb to the top of the stairs is exhausting but you paid it no mind because the view was worth it, it made your sad golden eyes sparkle somehow. Tadashi saw it and smiled anyway.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
The first day of the series of practice games are a mess you should say, considering Karasuno has yet to perfect their new gameplays. There's more room for improvement, and you're glad they aren't disheartened, thus you know they'll strive harder. To evolve, that is. That's how an omnivorous crow should be, to adapt to it's environment.
And you, to adapt to your environment, too. As a manager, you have to be up and going, because this what you chose to do. And as an assistant coach, that your team needs, what Coach Ukai needs, what Kei needs.
So why is he here, denying Tadashi of a time for personal practice? You stood by the door, hearing Tadashi convincing Kei to practice more but your awesome twin said,
"We have already practiced enough. It's no good to tire myself with practicing vigorously."
You rolled your eyes as Tadashi quipped a small "Oh. Okay."
You were not ready when Kei came out of the gym a second later, clicking his tongue as he saw you and trudged past you to the cafeteria. Unconsciously, you followed him.
"You should stay there and watch them. Why're you following me?"
"I don't know." He scoffed as he slowed down his pace to walk with you side by side.
"I didn't like it, Y/n. I don't need anotherー."
"Another what?" He, again, clicked his tongue at your clueless self and grabbed your ear enough to make you squirm.
"Oy! Karasuno! Tsukishimas! You, with the glasses!"
Both you and your brother whipped your heads towards the gym you were passing by. There you saw Tetsurou, and that Bokuto. You stopped your arm in time when it was going on instinct to your sternum for that unsightful mannerism. You didn't want Kei to worry about you. He has enough to think about.
"Can you jump blocks for us for a while?"
Huh?
"I'm busy training Lev with receivesー"
"I SAID I CAN JUMP BLOCKS WITH YOU NII-SAN!"
"ーShut up or I'll call Yaku!" Tetsurou roared to someone inside the gym that sounded like Haiba Lev who just whined loudly. You felt yourself fought a smile.
"Ah, I'm done for today, thank you senpais. Let's goー"
"HAAA!?" You both froze when they exclaimed, following your brother's cold rejection.
"It's lonely to practice spikes without blockers. Please." The golden-eyed player begged beside Tetsurou.
"You won't regret practicing blocks with this man. He's one of the top 5 aces of the country." Tetsurou added, just to convince your brother. But you know Kei won't. He's as cold now as ice.
"He just probably misses being in the Top 5 aces, Kuroo-san."
Someone with a monotone voice spoke from inside the gym that made Tetsurou cackle and mutter a "Don't mind" to the man beside him, tapping his shoulder in the process of comforting him.
"HEY!"
"And you're a middle blocker right? Should you be practicing more?"
A brow raised as you registered the sly tone from Tetsurou, and Kei registered it as well as he stiffen suddenly. Yare-yare.
Kei walked to them, clearly provoked and both the captains by the door were suprised by the reaction from your twin. They both held their thumbs up as Kei walked past them and inside the gym.
"Will you be watching your brother, Y/n-chan?"
Tetsurou asked you as you just stood there, debating within if you would accompany Kei or no. But why are you debating with yourself anyway? Your brother needs you there.
"Hai." You quipped as you walked through the pathway to the gym, the wind messing with your hair you have to tie it up again. Ugh.
You walked past the two captains and saw Fukurodani's setter by the net, and Lev of course, sprawled on the court's floor across the net with balls in his side. You grinned at his image while approaching Kei.
"You're hungry. You should go." You scrunched up your face at Kei while hearing coughs from behind.
"I'm gonna watch you. You're part of the team I want to improve." Kei groaned at that as you felt a calming presence from behind you, you wanted to ministrate your mannerism so bad.
"Let's start? Let's start? Agaaashee! Got a blocker!"
Even if you don't turn around and face that presence, you know he's grinning from ear to ear. How can he be so carefree like that? You took a deep, obscure breath and made way to the side of the court where Akaashi Keiji is standing. But Kei had plans. He dragged you to the side of the court with a chair for you to sit.
"Stay clear from the ball. You know how his spikes hurt."
That didn't escaped the boys' ears as Tetsurou snickered at the culprit of sorts.
"I was sorry."
You heard him mumble as you nodded to Kei giving your arm rubs before positioning opposite of the ace. You saw how they rested their eyes on you for a second before starting. But you noticed Lev staring at you, still sprawled on the floor and head propped up at your direction. He noticed you noticing him and he waved at you. You snickered, tilted your head and waved back. Cutie titan.
"LEV! RECEIVE!"
Lev groaned at the booming voice of Tetsurou as the ace is already in motion for a spike. You noticed Kei not closing in the line shot, causing the ace to take a shot there, just missing Kei's arm.
"Close the line shot, Kei!" Kei scowled at your remark but nodded anyway.
It went on for a few more with Tetsurou joining Kei on blocking until Bokuto stops and exasperatedly placed his hands on his waists as he stares at your brother.
"You know, Glasses-kunー"
"Tsukishima-desu."
"Tsukishima-kun." He huffs and scrunches his face. "You have an outstanding sense, but your blocks are pretty weak." You have to bite your bottom lip to suppress your escaping giggles at his straightforwardness, seeing Kei flinching in the process.
"I get so worried I'll break your arm in two or something. You have to rush in and stop it. Rush in!" Bokuto egged on and you have to clasp a hand above your lips to muffle your giggles at the comical scene in front of you.
"I'm still a growing kid, and I have so much ways to go in both muscular strength and height." Kei clapped back at him proudly which made you bury your face on your hands. You missed how Bokuto flinched at Kei's words.
"If you take things too easy, Chibi-chan will take all the glory. He's a middle blocker too, right?" Tetsurou nonchalantly added that shifted the comical atmosphere. You saw how Kei stiffen for a second and let out his hopeless smile, rubbing the back of his neck.
Of all the things your twin brother didn't like, it's comparing him to other people.
"I don't think I can do anything about it. There's an obvious difference in our potentials." And he always let himself down.
Without notice, some of Nekoma's players flooded the court, giving both you and your brother a confused look. You smiled at them while your brother shifted towards the door. "Well, looks like I'll be in the way. If you'll excuse me." He bowed at both the captains, still full of respect and went straight out.
"Kei!" You called at him as you rushed out, too. "Wait!"
"Don't run!" He hissed as you caught up on him.
"You're offended." You stated, wanting him to talk about it. He has to. He hasn't been talking to you about this.
You noticed him taking larger steps and you still stuck in his pace, not wanting him to make a distance from you. "I told you to stop talking."
"But why? You used to be so passionate with volleyball. I have noticed the changes, you know, so why?"
And he stopped abruptly. He faced you and took a step forward, meeting your questioning gaze.
"So much love for something will break you. You'll end up feeling so much pain later in the way."
And you saw how those unsaid words that may have followed his spoken ones trailed up to the atmosphere between you two.
"You just thought you don't want to be like me or Aki-nii." He groaned and that confirmed your statement. Your lips formed a thin line as another emotion came rushing up your gut, you took a step back from him.
"Why do both of you put so much into this? This is just a club and a sport! Will there be something waiting for me at the end of all of this? Huh?!"
Your brows involuntarily raised up at his change of tone and you were left speechless after he breathed a few rugged breaths and left you there standing in the pathway, the Saitama summer air blowing cold in your figure.
You exhaled a shaky breath as you watched him strut past the corridors and out of your sight, gulped as you inhaled back your emotions.
Keep it all in, Y/n. Keep it all in.
﹆ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜゜・
The girls in the room are long-gone asleep, hearing their shallow breaths as they slumber so deep. You can't sleep, have been staring at the ceiling for quite some time now. After the encounter with Kei, you kept quiet so as to not spill anything, even emotions. You're not supposed to show them anything other than your image of being a happy-go-lucky gal.
But you can't sleep. And your plushie isn't here to accompany you through your inner battles. You badly want to go home.
You huffed and sat up, rummaged from your bag for some layers of clothes and hoodies, rolled up your futon and pillow and silently went out to the corridor with those tucked in your arms.
The corridor is still lit, thankfully, and you were treading ever so silently so as to not wake the coaches sleeping on this floor. You have made it outside without any incident. You heard laughs from the second floor and found that all the boys' rooms are still all lit up. Your worry about being seen creeped in so you purposely sped up to the pathway to the side of the first gym where the penalties were held.
You felt excited for this night is so starry. And you suddenly missed your window sill back in Miyagi. Stargazing is your go-to when you have nothing to hold in your arms. It will surely lull you to sleep. It will be cold, but at least.
After smoothing your futon against the trimmed grass, you lay down and breathed in the Saitama night summer air, giddy that you could see the stars here clearly with all the lights turned off. It's dark but it's okay. You have been so accustomed in darkness to be bothered by it.
Your eyes were dancing from star to star and it felt like hours already until your mind drifted to Kei and his attitude earlier that night. Your gaze blanked as you remembered everything he said and why he said it; Why he felt like that.
Kei wasn't like that before. He used to be so passionate with the sport. But then, after what happened with Akiteru and his lies, added by you and your downfall, he changed. He saw Akiteru cry when your family went all back home after you all discovered his lies about being in the roster. Akiteru was broken hearted, yes, but it broke both of you more, broke Kei more. Akiteru was his hero, his idol, and seeing him like that and lying, the sour change was inevitable.
But the pain didn't stop for Kei there.
He saw you worked hard for your dream of being included with the aspiring players for the national league, to be known throughout Japan. He saw how you chased for it and win every match there is to reach Yoyogi Gym. But he saw you fall unconscious in the middle of that big game, just a step away bringing that national trophy.
You ended up in the hospital that day, with a devastating diagnosis. It broke him more, broke your family too. And you are to blame.
If you just heeded and took it easy in sports. If you have not just ignored the first signs.
It sucks to draw the shortest of all the sticks. It is your fate, but it doesn't mean you're notー
A squeaking step broke your train of thoughts. It came from the pathway. It was followed by a silhouette of a tall man. Initial fear creeped in as you can't seem to see the face of the approaching man. When he passed the threshold of the moonlight not too far away from where you are perched in your futon, the glistening white ends of his hair and his gleaming golden eyes came into view, not too obscure to not notice in this darkness.
He was heaving, and had a futon and a hoodie with him, and he was staring at you with anーis he irritated or something? You heard yourself scoff.
"You know, you're not supposed to be around here at night, alone with your thoughts." You turned your gaze away from his figure and stared at the swaying branches of a lone tree nearby.
"I'm sorry for Kuroo. It's mainly to mobilize people, motivate, but he's bad at delivering it and I'm aware of it." You stayed silent, hiding half of your face on your hoodie as you hugged your knees.
Rustles were heard beside you and you fought the urge to glance at it, knowing he's laying his own futon next to yours.
"We heard yourーuhm.. exchangeーfrom the gym. It's.. a little loud to not hear." You buried your face more to your knees, groaning low as you heard a low chuckle.
"So... you don't mind me being here, right?" You stiffen at his question for it has to be answered. And you're not sure how to not sound like you haven't been crying.
When you decided to just shake your head, you heard him hum in response and in the corner of your eye, he had laid back on his futon, arms under his head, golden eyes stared at the vastness of the starry Saitama skies.
The silence he offered for an hour was calming your nerves. Your still glossy eyes locked at his swaying feet and you blinked as it tranced your mind.
"Can't sleep." You murmured through your hoodie after an hour of silence with him, through the silence and rustling soft winds and the crickets harmonizing the night.
A questioning hum was quickly quipped, like he was waiting for you to speak up and break the silence between the two of you. You're glad he's not prodding. He's just.. waiting.
"There's just so much going on right now." You offered with a whisper, hoping he could hear.
"Thenー" You sighed in relief. "ーyou should unload some of it for you to be able to wear your mask again. Andー" He grunted and you heard shuffles and shoes were placed at the end of his futon. "ーit's okay if it's not with me. As long as you let some of it go."
You can't see him from your peripherals, but it felt like he sat up, legs still stretched and swaying. "Ahh~ it's really full of stars tonight!"
You stayed silent, rather enjoying the silence and his company. You felt comfortable and at peace andー
"If your dreams shatter in front of you after working so hard and so long for it, what will you do?"
He exhaled a long breath before resuming his leg movements. "Well, I would move on and do my second dream."
?
"Second dream?" You queried back, curious about his answer.
"Yeah? I have six dreams as of the moment, the first is for Fukurodani to become the national champion in the Interhigh and Spring Interhigh. If by any chance that that won't happen then, I'm going pro after I graduate instead and make a name for myself."
You gulped as you found yourself dumbfounded. All your life you have stucked your life direction to just one goal. You never had thought of doing anything else other than that. That was your compass, and when it crumbled last year, you were lost. Your life's meaning went to shambles too.
And then, this man in your right came along and blurted things about having many dreams, reserved dreams. It was pulling you to somewhere alien to you.
"You don't have any other dreams!?" He sounded scandalized at that, he even peeked at your side, wide golden eyes on you. You suddenly felt yourself tearing up and your mannerism exhibited unconsciously as your breath hitched. "I'm sorry Y/n. Was that a little loud? Sorry, I was just.. surprised."
But you were already shaking and crying from the realization, you can't control it. You're embarassing.
A hand came rubbing your back tentatively, touch hesitating. "I've been in an illusion all this time." You scoffed at yourself. "IーBokuto-san," You gulped before you continue, "I may have ruined things for Kei because of that illusion. He saw how I suffered when my dreams shattered last year. You see, I dreamt of doing nationals come highschool and make a name for myself enough to be a representative for the World Camp but something happened and I can't fulfill that dream anymore. And Kei saw everything and it made him hesitant to try his hardest for he saw pain when I did the same."
"There are also things that I can't tell my family ever since that day. And it's killing me already because I know it will hurt them one day. It will shatter them and it's scary. I just want to run away and be alone. I will hurt people as long as I'm breathing." You sniffed hard and wiped your snot with your hands.
"And you know what, Bokuto-san? I don't even want to be famous! I just want to excel in volleyball, to make my mom and dad the proudest! And now, they're allーOh, it's Tsukishima Y/n, how intimidating~ーAh! It's Y/n! We're doomed!ーCan't they just act normal!?"
"Andー" Your lips quivered as you stopped yourself, realizing you ranted almost half of your worries to a total stranger. And you almost told him about something you weren't even sure you wanna talk about. You buried your face in your palms and sobbed there.
You scolded yourself over and over at your outburst, worried what might the man beside you think. It was all shallow. Still too shallow than what you have kept hidden. Still too shallow to rant about. Oh my God, Y/n, you're really a shame.
The negative thoughts devoured you and you just want the earth to swallow you whole with your sobs right at that moment. You were anxious for the longest time and today may have peaked because of the exchange with Kei. If screaming just won't endanger your body, you would scream at the top of your lungs.
"You're beautiful."
"Huh?" You whipped your tear-and-snot-filled face to meet his eyes. His voice was breathy and his face is full of amazement and you can't even understand why. "What?" You might've heard it wrong. Fuck, your snot's doing their job against your ears. You're hearing things.
"You're beautiful."
Bokuto repeated with a boyish grin and a new batch of tears streamed down your face. You groaned and sobbed harder in your palms as you can't believe what he just said.
You're beautiful.
How could he say that? How could he say that now? Is he blind? Can't he not see? You're full of space debris, inescapable blackholes and exploding supernovas. You are not beautiful.
You felt his hand smoothing out your back again, his tentative touch seared through your hoodie and shirt, straight to your skin. "It's not okay now, but soon it's going to be. You'll figure it all out soon."
You squeezed your eyes shut, face pressed against your knees to stop the tears from falling. You fell silent with him again, his hands moved so slow on your back and it is relaxing.
It's not going to be okay. It'll never gonna be okay, butー
"Thank you." You whispered and turned your head to face him, offering him a small smile, cheek still against your knees. "Thank you, Bokuto-san. I find those things so hard to say out loud. But you made it easier. You somehow made it a lot easier."
He mimicked your body language, cheek resting on his knees too and smiling. "Glad to be of service." You sighed and buried your face again to your knees. "You're.. still shaking. Do you need a hug? Or can I even touch you? I'm sorry I touched you, I rubbed your back."
He saw you peeked to see his face and he got all nervous, he started scratching the back of his neck and pouted. "The last time I attempted to touch you, I was blocked by your friend."
Ah. Like everybody else.
"Any suggestions for a second dream?"
You veered from his topic. He might've noticed it for he came silent for a while, but he smiled nonetheless. How can this guy be so kind? It's scary.
"Well, what do you want to do?"
You exhaled a full amount of stress out of your nose as you felt the wind fanning against your face softly. It's warm now. Maybe because you have been curled up with your hoodie on for quite some time. But it's warm now.
What do you want to do huh. You never thought of that before, except for that closed goal. And every decision you'll have right now doesn't count as a goal for you. But if you'll think about it..
You hummed, biting your lip in deep thought. "Maybe.. make things easier for Kei, as an apology?"
Easier. But you already made it harder for him ever since you joined the team and be a hard-headed sister. He didn't vocalize it on your face, but he hates it and he worries so much about you. You're a burden now.
But you want him to take his moxie back, and succeed.
"Maybe improve his social and sportmanship, volleyball skills, overall? I know he loves volleyball. And I want to create an environment where it'll be fun for him."
You were on a roll as you laid out all what you want to do from now on. It was hesitant at first, but the man beside you showed no resistance and just listened to you, attentively. He keeps on egging you, encouraging you to do more, plan more. He's even more hyped when you talk about your visions of the future, future for Kei and for the team. But he offered a bit of resistance when you told him you wanted Karasuno to be the champ for Spring High. You laughed at his challenge.
He's warm. He's a light-source. He's an unknown force. And above all else..
He's.. pulling you out of the black tar.
You pursed your lips as you laid down on your futon next to him. He just asked why aren't you sleeping yet. It has been an hour after you have resolved your feelings and outbursts. And you were both just talking nonsense, mostly about his Kuroo, Kenma and Akaashi.
"I don't have my plushie. I can't sleep immediately without it."
He stared at you, full of confusion. "Can.. I do something about it?" You looked at him, bewildered at the offer.
It was almost two weeks since that day you saw someone who looks a lot like your horned owl plushies. You remembered staring at that crouching man, on his knees and apologizing about spiking the ball straight to your face. His hair, his brows and his eyes, his total expressionー
You grinned at Koutarou. "Can I touch your hair?"
He might've been so repulsed at your request that he sat up almost immediately. You bit your lip in embarassment. You were about to take back the request when he stared back at you.
"Will that help?" You blinked your eyes in confusion but you nodded eventually.
He silently stood, and you initially thought that you blew the budding friendship you have with him for the last couple of hours. You annoyingly shut your eyes and pouted in regret.
But you opened your eyes when you heard the scrunch sounds of his futon and you saw him repositioning it, perpendicular to yours, the head on your tummy's side. Your lip would have wounds in the morning because of your incessant biting. He's adorable, you can't help it.
Koutarou glanced at you after he laid down comfortably again in his futon. "You can touch it now. It'll help me sleep too, so win-win."
He grinned at you and it made your heart calm, it made you smile back and reach out to his hair. He reached out for your tentative hand and helped you card his soft locks. When you got the rhythm, he smiled eyes closed, his feet seem to dance at the sensation.
What surprised you was when he moved up to rest his head on your tummy and murmured, "This okay?", eyes still closed you thought your hands in his hair really is lulling him to sleep. You hummed in approval, still carding his hair and occassionally rub your thumb to his ear.
You woke up to the sound of your phone alarm. You and Koutarou had made plans about the morning after, now, and you have to move fast or you're both going to get it from your teams.
You sat up and found him face down on his pillow, back on his futon, hand ghosting yours. You smiled at his soft snores, and the funny way his leg hiked up to his body in the comfort of his sleep. You fought the urge to snap a pic of him.
You poked his broad shoulder and he lowly hummed, it made your back shiver at the sound. You bit your lip before poking him again. He murmured something before opening his eyes, staring sleepily back to yours. It was awkwardly silent for a minute, crickets still rang in the wee hours of morning.
"We have to get up, Y/n." You snickered at his drawling husky voice, for you are already up while he's still sprawled at his futon.
"Yup. We still have to shower and do laundry."
"We're not showering at the same time okay? Have to guard you while you shower." He murmured as he sat up, yawning after. You stared at the expanse of his back as he stretches and you smile.
"Okay."
You got off your futon and rolled it with your pillow, Koutarou doing the same with his. He's being pouty because of his incessant yawns, too cute.
"Bokuto-san." He looked down at you when he reached out for your rolled futon to carry it for you. "Why are you doing this?"
His lips scrunched to one side while he thinks, staring up to the skies, throat bobbing as he swallows a lump. He suddenly hummed and looked down at you, same curious but sure golden eyes.
"You feel like Kaori and Yukie, but more. Much more. You feel like Kuroo and Kenma at times, Akaashi even. But much more. Even if I just knew you."
Your confusion got the better of you as you stared at him too confused at his words. He paid no mind explaining it as he leaned to your face, but comfortably out of your personal space.
He smiled so warmly before saying, "I'm glad I met you again."
And it had your heart pounding uncontrollably, but suspiciously painless. You're aware your eyes widen as his eyes seemed to grin as he still stared at you and your reactions. You can't explain what's happening. All you know is there's a question waiting to be asked. Your hands went clammy at your sides, fisting your sweatpants as your knuckles shake.
"ーafter 2 weeks. I want to meet you again and again after this, hm?"
He grinned at your face but that follow-up phrase relaxed the hell out of you. You snorted and smiled back at him in relief.
"Glad I met you again, too, Bokuto-san. Thanks for accompanying me."
He reached out for your head and ruffled your hair as he smiled so brightly at you, along with his eyes so golden. You'd think there's a star directly infront of you while there are more above the Saitama skies that hour.
PREV | CHAP 2 | NEXT [masterlist]
FUN FACTS ::
1. Tobio and Shoyo just barely passed the 80 percentage of the supplemental exams, instead of the 90 percentage the vice-principal mandated them days ago during the wig scuffle.
2. Upon arriving, Shoyo puked at the court, the other boys had to mop it but the stench was still there Asahi had to puke too because of the stench.
3. That night with Eri and Bokuto, with Akaashi and Kuroo, Bokuto was bringing a cold compress and tissues for Y/n, thinking that her nose is still bleeding.
4. Kiyoko continuously teased Y/n throughout the day with Bokuto but it's oblivious to everyone around. Y/n kept pouting while shouting corrections to the team because of that, and Bokuto and some of the boys in the court notices that cute pout.
TAGLIST: @wolffmaiden @koushiwarrior @avygale @charsiuramen
☆ send an ask or msg me if you want to be in the taglist. thanks for the supporttt.
☆ Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained.
#sorry for the long update to compromise the long wait!!#11k+ y'all omg#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu#bokuto fluff#bokuto koutarou#bokuto kotaro#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto kotaro x reader#bokuto koutarou x y/n#bokuto koutarou x yn#bokuto koutarou x you#bokuto kotaro x y/n#bokuto kotaro x yn#bokuto kotaro x you#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#tsukishima y/n#tsukishima reader#Falling Stars Chapter 2#Saitama Skies#now you all know where the plushie nickname came from huh
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Be In My Eyes - Chapter 26
You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3.
This chapter will forever be one of my favorite things I've ever wrote.
Summary: It's Karaoke hour at Glorious (check the end for the songs).
Glorious was already full by the time Vox Machina arrived, although it was not as crowded as the last time Keyleth went out drinking with the girls. Coincidentally, Keyleth realized it had been a month since her “date” with Kashaw and that she hadn’t seen or heard from him ever since. Maybe he wasn’t that interested in her or getting to know her if he was waiting for Keyleth to message him. Regardless, Keyleth was at the bar with her friends and things had changed since the last time. She had no desire to pursue Kash or even talk to him other than to order drinks.
Gilmore received them at the door, looking incredible as always, wearing a purple wizard costume, a long, pointy hat and a white beard that reached his navel. He greeted them with flair immediately as soon as the group set foot past the door, holding a tray of drinks emitting white smoke. The bar had been appropriately decorated with masks on the walls, streamers of different colors, tealight candles that looked like they were floating, and glowing stars on the ceilings and curtains. It looked whimsical.
Vex’ahlia was the first to step up to hug Gilmore, saying, “Gilmore, you look—”
“Glorious, darling?”
“Obviously,” Vex replied, taking a glass from the tray with a wink. Gilmore winked back and started handing out drinks to everyone, observing and commenting on each one’s costumes. The man stopped in his tracks once he reached Keyleth and Vax (who were still holding hands), and his face opened up in a broad grin.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He asked knowingly. Keyleth was shocked to see Vax’s embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
“We picked randomly to dress up as each other,” Keyleth replied, taking her drink from Gilmore’s hand. “We happened to get each other.”
“I see that,” Gilmore looked up and down at her. “I have to say, you look good in black, little dove. Or should I call you ‘little raven’ tonight?”
Keyleth laughed and shook her head, “Thank you, Gil.”
“And you,” Gilmore turned to Vax, handing over the last drink. “Don’t you look… something alright.” Gil’s eyes drifted down Vax’s body, stopping where he and Keyleth were still holding hands between them. When the man looked back up with a glimmer in his eyes, Vax’s cheeks were red. “I see you have something to tell me.”
Keyleth finally realized she was still holding onto Vax’s hand, so she let go and shoved her hand in the pocket of her jacket. Gilmore’s expression changed at that, the smile turned upside down and the glimmer of joy in his eyes had died when he looked between the two.
“Or maybe not. We’ll talk later. I need to go make sure Kashaw isn’t bankrupting me,” Gilmore said with a small nod before he turned to return to the bar, but just as he was leaving, he stopped and turned his head above his shoulder, grinning at the group in general, and at Scanlan in particular, “Oh, and we have Karaoke tonight. Make sure you sign up upstairs!”
Gilmore’s mention of karaoke was more than enough to spark a few flames within the group (especially Scanlan and Grog), so instead of doing their usual look-around for a booth downstairs, the group climbed up the steps in search of an empty alcove, which they luckily found without issue. Scanlan and Grog were gone before Keyleth even crossed the curtain, running to the other side of the dancefloor to pick up a songbook. Without them, there was enough room on the big, white sofa for everyone else, but as soon as the two men returned, Keyleth found herself pressed hard against Vax’s side to make room.
“Is this okay?” Vax asked her, draping his arm over the back of the couch behind Keyleth’s shoulders. He was right at the edge of the seat, and the entirety of Keyleth’s right side was glued to his left. It felt cozy and intimate, and she didn’t mind it at all for a second. Keyleth nodded, finally taking a sip from the drink Gilmore had handed them since the smoke was completely gone. It was sweet and spicy, and it burned going down her esophagus. Between the heat of the drink and pressed bodies, it didn’t take long for Keyleth to start sweating, so while her friends were distracted pouring over the songbook and arguing about who got to duet with whom, Keyleth took off her—nope, Vax’s—jacket.
“Here, give it to me,” Vax made a grabbing motion. Keyleth handed Vax the jacket and he set it on the back of the couch behind him, but when his arm returned to the back of the couch, he let his hand fall to Keyleth’s shoulder, with his fingers sliding under the short sleeve, and he started drawing circles on her skin. “Still okay?” He asked softly. Keyleth gulped another sip of her drink and nodded, ignoring the twist and turn of her stomach at the touch.
The songbook found its way into Keyleth’s hands after everyone was done selecting songs. She looked at Vax inquisitively, but he shook his head as if to say no way I’m singing. Keyleth shrugged and opened the book between them, making sure Vax could still read in case he changed his mind. There were a few songs in the book that she knew and felt comfortable singing, but one in particular caught her attention. She listened to it for the first time the afternoon after Vax picked her up from the coffee shop and immediately related to the lyrics, so much so that she lost count of how many times the song played on repeat during the past month. Keyleth was almost completely sure that Vax was attracted to her, especially after the moment they shared after the snow battle, but there was still that tinge of doubt inside her that she needed to clear, and what better way than through music?
I’m going to make a fool of myself if this doesn’t work, Keyleth thought, passing the book to Vax, who gave her a surprised look as she got up. Keyleth shrugged as she followed the rest of her friends to the sign-up sheet (receiving another incredulous look from Vex’ahlia), not surprised to see that only Vax and Percy stayed behind.
The karaoke machine was all set up on the small stage on the other side of the dancefloor, next to a table where a woman in her early twenties with thick glasses took note of the participants. Scanlan was obviously the first to approach the woman, greeting her with a charming smile that turned her cheeks bright red even under the colored spotlights.
“Hello,” She greeted the rest of the group as they spread out around Scanlan.
“Hi! Are you Gilmore’s new employee?” Pike asked nicely. The woman nodded timidly.
“My name is Sherri. Nice to meet you all. Would you like to sign up for our karaoke night?”
“Yes, please, Sherri,” Vex’ahlia replied, also kindly. The woman seemed to relax a bit as she started to write down their names and songs. Scanlan demanded to go first—obviously—then Grog and Pike signed up as a duo, then Vex’ahlia, and lastly Keyleth.
“I’m going downstairs to grab us some drinks,” Vex informed the group. Pike, Grog and Scanlan volunteered to help, so once Vex took note of Keyleth’s drink, she added two more for Percy and Vax, and left Keyleth to return to their alcove alone.
“Where did everyone go?” Percy asked when Keyleth sat in the middle of the boys. She noted the closed songbook on the table and wondered if Vax had found any songs that interested him. Maybe she could convince him to sing if she worked her charm or gave him enough drinks. She was certainly curious to know if singing was one of his mysteries.
“They went downstairs to grab drinks. Don’t worry, Vex will bring you both a drink.” The boys nodded and Keyleth leaned back into the couch, feeling Vax’s arm around her shoulders, even though it wasn’t necessary at the moment. She relished in the feeling though. “Did you find any songs you like?” Keyleth asked him quietly enough so Percy wouldn’t hear them.
“There are a few good ones, but I’m not singing,” Vax gave her a charming smile.
“We’ll see about that,” Keyleth replied, winking, and finished the rest of the drink Gilmore had given them at the entrance. Vax’s stunned expression was all she needed to know her first hit had landed perfectly, just as planned.
“You won’t believe who’s downstairs,” Vex said when she and Pike returned a few minutes later, setting their drinks on the table in front of them. Vex sat next to Keyleth, so close to Percy that she was practically on his lap. Pike leaned her head forward from the man’s other side, giving Keyleth a knowing look with wiggly eyebrows as she sipped her drink.
“Who?” Keyleth asked even though she had a feeling she knew the answer. She took a sip of her drink and smiled in thanks to the other girls. They had brought her a sweet cocktail, none of that awful tequila stuff Vex loved.
“Kashaw,” Vex grimaced. Keyleth felt Vax tense next to her, his glass pausing halfway to his lips, waiting as if he knew his sister wasn’t done sharing bad news. “He asked if you were here.”
“What did you tell him?”
Vex’ahlia paused. She took a long, slow swig of her margarita—from the color, it looked like she had asked for a flavored version—and sighed. Keyleth’s fingers became suddenly cold, something she knew was not due to her drink. One of her hands started shaking and she tried to hide it by hugging herself before anyone noticed the tremor. What had Vex told Kash? If he wanted to know that badly if Keyleth had come to the party with her friends, why hadn’t he texted her? He could have invited her or at least told her about the party, but he didn’t. Would whatever Vex had told him even matter? Did Keyleth really care what Kashaw thought of her after he asked her out, behaved like an ass, and then ignored her? Vax shifted, leaning closer against Keyleth (which she didn’t think would be possible considering she was able to feel the entirety of his side pressed against her) as if he was trying to make his presence even more known to her. His hand grabbed her shoulder, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze. Keyleth didn’t have to turn her head to know Vax was looking at her with that adoration he always had, the look that filled her with warmth, safety and joy. No. Keyleth decided that whatever Vex told Kashaw and whatever he thought about her afterward meant nothing.
“I told him you were here on a date,” Vex’ahlia finally said, glancing at her brother’s hand on Keyleth’s shoulder and giving them both a wink.
Oh shit. Keyleth didn’t need a mirror to know she looked dumbfounded. She also heard Vax hold his breath at her side like he was waiting to react to his sister’s information depending on whatever Keyleth said or did next. No pressure or anything. “That sounds good,” Keyleth avoided looking at Vax as she grabbed her drink and took a large gulp. “He had his chance and threw it away. I’m not going to sit around and wait for him to man-up and fight for me.”
“That’s the right spirit,” Vex patted Keyleth’s knee and turned to Percy, who was gawking—not at Vex’ahlia, but at Vax, as Keyleth realized when she turned to see Vax’s stunned face. Keyleth bit the end of her straw nervously and closed Vax’s open jaw with the knuckle of her index finger with a wink.
Vax was still staring at Keyleth in disbelief when Sherri’s soft-spoken voice sounded through the speakers, “Good evening, everyone! Let’s open up Karaoke night with our first performance by Scanlan Shorthalt.” Keyleth finally tore her eyes from Vax to cheer at her friend, who picked up the microphone and bowed at the few people gathered on the dancefloor so expertly that it was obvious to anyone that Scanlan loved the stage lights.
Scanlan could sing, everyone knew that, but knowing and seeing it in action was different, and even more shocking to them was that he had picked a ballad. Not just any ballad, though. It was almost like a love declaration. A song that he sang with his gaze fixed on Pike, who squirmed in her seat between Percy and Grog in embarrassment.
“Does Scanlan have a crush on Pike?” Keyleth found herself whispering to Vax.
“Worse. I think he might be in love with her,” Vax replied, equally as quiet.
“I didn’t think Scanlan could feel love,” Keyleth thought out loud. Vax gave her a look and they both started laughing. It wasn’t entirely wrong, but it wasn’t exactly true. Scanlan loved women of all shapes and sizes, but they never thought that he would ever lower his walls enough to allow his heart to be stolen. Although, thinking about it, if anyone were to steal Scanlan’s heart, Pike Trickfoot was the best contender.
Once the song ended with a soft note, the small crowd that had gathered on the dancefloor clapped and cheered—some ladies even fanned themselves—and Scanlan bent down in a shallow bow before he left the stage. He looked surprisingly timid, especially when he finally reached the alcove and sat by Pike’s side, who was trying hard to look everywhere but at him with flushed cheeks.
Sherri grabbed the microphone calling for Grog and Pike, the former practically dragging the small girl by the collar of her blazer toward the stage. Keyleth’s stomach leaped as she realized that after them, there would only be one other person before her turn to sing. That realization alone was more than enough for Keyleth to take a large gulp of her drink as she ignored her frigid and shaky hands.
“Are you cold?” Vax asked. Keyleth looked at him, confused. Somewhere on the stage Pike and Grog sang the first lines of a cheerful song. “You’re shaking,” Vax explained.
“I’m okay,” Keyleth replied, trying to hide her trembling voice. “Just nervous.”
“It’ll be okay,” Vax leaned in and kissed her temple. “You’ll be okay.” Keyleth nodded and looked at the stage. Vex’s words came back to her, I told him you were here on a date. Was it too forward for Keyleth to act like Vex’s implication that she and Vax had come to the party together was not a big deal? She hadn’t thought about Vax’s feelings over what his sister implied —although he didn’t seem to mind it—or what it would mean for his relationship with Gilmore if word got out. Shit. What does it mean? Keyleth tensed as a new wave of anxiety filled her. The increasing heartbeats in her chest did not help her calm down.
“Hey,” Vax held Keyleth’s face back to him. Fuck, does he have to look at me like that all the time? “You don’t have to sing. You can just tell them you changed your mind.” He tried to reassure her. Keyleth shook her head. How was she supposed to tell him she was more scared of ruining his friendship with Gilmore than singing in front of a crowd—which by itself was already dreadful? She couldn’t.
“I’ll be okay,” She tried to reassure him instead, but Vax didn’t buy it.
“Just pretend you’re singing to me. No one else is in the room but me.”
Oh no, he doesn’t know. Vax didn’t know the song she had picked. He didn’t know she already intended on doing exactly that, singing for him—to him—and him alone.
Keyleth was so distracted freaking out on the inside that she didn’t even realize Pike and Grog had finished their song and were hugging each other and sobbing on the stage, the large man on his knees so he could be at a relatively decent height to hug his adopted sister and best friend. Once they cleared the stage—and were safely sniffling on the couch next to Percy—Vex raised to her feet as Sherri called her name and sauntered over.
Keyleth wasn’t surprised by Vex’s song choice, nor was she surprised when the woman sang without needing to look at the screen with the lyrics since Keyleth had heard Vex sing the song countless times as she got ready for the day. It was a pretty powerful song with a strong message that made Keyleth admire her roommate even more—as if Vex’ahlia could be more of a badass.
“What’s the deal with this song?” Keyleth turned to Vax, ignoring the dip in her stomach as she saw his concerned gaze on his sister.
“It’s a long story,” Vax replied. Not entirely his story to tell, then. “She had a really shitty boyfriend, is all I can say.”
“Please tell me your sister didn’t actually set a bed on fire,” Keyleth joked, but her smile faded when Vax looked at her earnestly. Oh shit.
The song was short—too short, in Keyleth’s opinion. Vex ended it with a mic drop (which made Sherri squeal), and she returned to the group, high-fiving Scanlan, Grog and Pike. Keyleth noticed the look Vex and Percy shared as if they were having some sort of mental conversation before her roommate sat beside her and patted Keyleth on the knee, saying, “It’s your turn. Go get them.”
“You can do it,” Vax whispered. She gave him one last long, apologetic look even though he didn’t know why—yet—and she crossed the room. Sherri handed her the microphone after making sure it was still working after Vex’ahlia had dropped it, and Keyleth took a long breath in as the screen changed in front of her.
You can do this. It’s just you and him. No one else. Fuck.
The music started, the familiar tune sounding through the speakers. Keyleth counted the beats, looking at the bar and the lyrics on the screen, avoiding looking up at the alcove where her friends cheered—avoiding looking up at Vax. Keyleth knew the crowd could see the same thing she did reflected on the TV behind her, and the first verse itself was more than enough to reveal her intentions. Keyleth’s voice was horse and shaky when she sang the first line, but she didn’t let it get to her. Instead, Keyleth kept singing, daring to glance at the crowd that was cheering almost as loud as her friends. Her face opened in a slightly relieved smile and she became bolder, lifting her gaze even higher as she sang, “There’s two of us, we’re certain with desire.”
Vax’ildan was standing with his arms crossed by the opening of the alcove, staring at her with a smirk. The room blurred when their eyes locked. It was just them, no one else. It was him, in all his flaws and perfections, in all his mysteries, unspoken words and feelings. It was Vax in her sweater and jeans, much too bright for his personality. It was his hair braided back in a perfect imitation of her favorite hairstyle, her bow fastening it behind his head. It was his soft eyes full of love, care, kindness, fire and desire. It was his smile, sexy, sassy and reassuring. It was him in his entirety and no one else. Never anyone else, and certainly not someone who couldn’t be bothered to want to know more than her name. It was him, who always asked so carefully, who waited patiently for her to open up, who had nothing but gentle touches, even though he looked like he could kill someone without a second thought.
“We were meant for one another, come a little closer,” Keyleth sang, and much to her surprise, Vax seemed to obey. He was confident in his stride, not bothering to look behind him at his sister’s incredulous face or Pike and Scanlan’s heads so close to each other, whispering. But instead of stopping in front of the stage, Vax stopped by the top of the stairs, leaning against the railing.
Keyleth tracked him like a predator tracks its prey. “I got all I need, when you came after me,” She went on. She noticed the presence of another man next to Vax and her heart leaped as Vax leaned in to whisper something in the man’s ear. Gilmore gave Vax a short nod, not taking his eyes away from Keyleth, who was still singing and looking at them. She didn’t care if the crowd noticed. It didn’t matter. This song was for Vax and Vax alone. It didn’t matter that Gilmore left Vax’s side to whisper something to Sherri. It didn’t matter that everyone was now looking between the two, certainly connecting the dots. It didn’t matter because Vax was so close to her, looking deeply with a soft smile. Keyleth’s fears returned, but the song was almost over. She didn’t dwell on her thoughts as she sang the last verse, burn with me tonight, only daring to look away from Vax at the last word.
In her haziness of focusing on Vax, Keyleth hadn’t noticed the two women who ran in her direction and tackled her into a hug. She didn’t even have the opportunity to return Sherri the microphone before they dragged her out of the stage, but her hands were suddenly empty, nonetheless. Keyleth couldn’t see Vax anywhere from where she was buried against his sister’s embrace, and she didn’t get to look around for him before a familiar male voice spoke.
“Well, then! Is everyone having fun?” The small crowd cheered in response. “Alright, we will interrupt our karaoke time for a very special performance. I promise you will not regret it,” Gilmore assured. Keyleth was still surrounded by Vex’s arms around her shoulders and Pike’s around her arm when the lights dimmed. Gilmore rolled the karaoke machine to the side and set up a single microphone stand, a high chair and an acoustic guitar.
“What’s happening?” Keyleth asked her friends. Vex and Pike shrugged.
Someone walked onto the stage—not just someone. It was Vax’ildan. He wiped his hands nervously on his jeans—Keyleth’s jeans that she had thrifted and embroidered—sat on the chair and grabbed the guitar. He adjusted the microphone height and tapped it to make sure it was working, and with one final breath, he plucked the second string of the guitar.
“What?” Keyleth looked at Vex, who seemed about just as shocked as her. “Vax can play?”
“Oh yeah,” Vex answered as if it was widely known. “What is he—” Vex stopped talking because her brother finally played through the intro and started singing.
He wasn’t Scanlan-level good, but he was a good singer nonetheless. From what little musical ear and singing lessons Keyleth had, she could tell he also had been instructed in singing, but it was what he was singing that made her legs tremble more than his voice. It was a soft ballad, like a love song from what the first verses sounded like.
“Oh shit,” Vex said, letting her arms fall from Keyleth’s shoulders to her free arm, holding her tight. “Is he—”
He was. Vax’s eyes fixed on Keyleth as he sang, “I was born to tell you I love you,” Oh. This is a love song. “And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine,” A love song for— “Stay with me tonight,” —me?
“Keyleth, with all due respect,” Pike said from her other side. “If you two don’t kiss already, we will all lock you in a bedroom until you make out.”
“What?” Keyleth broke her gaze from Vax for a second to look at her roommate.
“Pike’s right, darling. I’m tired of seeing my brother pine for you,” Vex rolled her eyes. She was tapping her feet with the beat of the music as if she wanted to help her brother stay in time.
When the second chorus came around, Keyleth found herself smiling foolishly. He loves me? But why? Keyleth was clumsy and shy. She was a ball of anxiety at risk of self-destruction. She spent more time with her nose in the books than hanging out with people. Her nails were more often covered in dirt and fertilizer than pretty, shiny nail polishes. Her clothes were all hand-me-downs or thrifted, old and stained from years of use or dirt. She was lithe and out of shape—she didn’t even remember the last time she ran—and while she wasn’t ugly, she wasn’t entirely beautiful either. What had Vax seen in her? He was handsome and talented. He was smart and kind, and so sexy. Keyleth had seen him shirtless several times, she had seen the strong build of his muscles work whenever he picked up Trinket—who by itself weighed almost as much, if not more than Keyleth. He was experienced in all the things she wasn’t—with women and men—and wasn’t afraid to wear his feelings on his sleeve (even if it took her longer than everybody else to realize the way Vax looked at her). Keyleth felt herself lacking compared to what Vax’s standards would surely be, so why? Why would he love her?
Keyleth released a breath she didn’t know she was holding as Vax sang the last notes. She took a step back, getting free from Vex and Pike’s hold, and ran down the stairs before anyone—before Vax—could see the tears sliding down her cheeks. She bumped into someone at the bottom of the stairs, a familiar smell of alcohol reaching her before Kashaw’s voice asked, “Keyleth? Are you okay?” Keyleth tried to nod. She tried to run past him, but the man gripped her arms tightly. He said something about wanting to talk to her, but before Keyleth could say no, Kash dragged her somewhere she couldn’t discern due to the blur of tears in her eyes. However, Keyleth felt the curtain of beads and then cold. Freezing cold on her arms. Panic filled her chest and ran through her blood, sending a sharp pain to her brain and making her gasp in fear. She was outside with Kashaw and none of her friends had seen where she went.
Keyleth’s danger sense kicked in as if she was about to die.
If you want to listen with music:
Scanlan sang She's Always a Woman by Billy Joel;
Pike and Grog sang You're My Best Friend by Queen;
Vex'ahlia sang Kiss With a Fist by Florence + The Machine;
Keyleth sang Fire Meets Gasoline by Sia;
Vax'ildan sang Your Call by Secondhand Serenade.
#critical role#cr fic#vox machina#vaxleth#modern au#college au#be in my eyes#nothing bad will happen#it'll all be fine#apropos of nothing happening: next chapter is the longest piece of fanfiction I've ever wrote at almost 11k words long
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hey
pspsps
how's the baizhu savings going
oh i am SO glad you asked, comrade Zxt!!!!!
my hoard of video game currencies is the only thing i allow myself to boast about
#wifi plays genshin#darling mutuals#chit chat#unfortunately i don't think i'll be able to get to 11k before Baizhu is released but i certainly gave it the ol college try!!#when i say he's coming home i mean he IS coming home#he doesn't get a CHOICE in the matter#my wonderful dendro pharmacist healer <33#so excited for next week i've been waiting over two years for this#also the new event started today and because i have to do it on two accounts (me and a friend's) it took so long#everyone was great tho i love Layla and Faruzan#and Cyno just wanting the card because it's cool is the BEST thing#Scaramouche needs to shut his mouth though. i'm not the fondest of him#ANYWAYS#Baizhu you will be mine#good evening :)
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Genuinely so sad because I wish I could just draw and write again
#we knew the good (productive) times couldn't last forever.#i used to be able to write 11k without a break. doing all-nighters i was so into it. used to be able to draw multiple sketches a day.#now i just feel totally drained and flat. bled dry. where's the excitement in drawing and writing anymore?#i just need to graduate. i need to finish this life chapter and do OTHER things.#it's hard to keep drawing/writing on a dying website for a dying fandom#thinking about trying to write something original because of my specific interests#y'know how at a certain point it starts to sound less like fan fiction and more just original.#there might be a chance i'm very depressed. like no longer in the mopey edgy teenage way#but in the long-term quiet withdrawn flat and emotionally dead way.#wdym i'm 26 and have done basically nothing? wdym i'm a 26 year old woman?? i'll be 30 soon??#idk what would fix me. i'm doing what i can.#fuck i miss writing my dumb queer quartet mysteries
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ties that bind hit total 20k today officially now my longest work ever skfjfjgkg
#tbh that alone is a W. my long form attention span is increasing#astxrwar.txt#also it’s coming out so well tbh. perfect combination of horny/dysfunctional/angsty#something something that quote abt how every happy family is the same but every fucked up one is different etc#except make it relationships#for reference currently posted chapters are 9k so that’s *11k* that i wrote since like. last friday-ish#if i could harness my hyperfixation i’d be unstoppable
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oh outlaw, oh spur in my side (ch 2)
fandom: yellowjackets
pairing: lottie matthews/natalie scatorccio
rating: M
word count: 18,292
“What’s his name?” Natalie asks, ignoring the feeling with large, wobbly strides.
“Leonard.”
Natalie arches her brow and looks at Lottie with an incredulous stare. “Leonard?”
“What’s the matter with it?”
Natalie laughs, scuffing the bottom of her boot against the barn floor, finding straw tangled beneath her heel.
“Nothing, just strange is all.”
Lottie’s smile falters just slightly and Natalie straightens her shoulders, resisting the urge to curse herself. It is strange, she doubles down, it’s a weird fucking name for a horse of all things .
“It reminds me of a girl I knew,” is all Lottie says, reaching a hand into the stable. Her smile returns in stride when Leonard pokes his head into her palm with a chuff, as if Natalie hadn’t said anything at all.
#lottienat#lottienat fanfic#lottienat fanfiction#yellowjackets#yellowjackets fanfiction#lottie matthews x natalie scatorccio#yj fanfic#i felt bad for not updating for so long so pls accept my 11k as an apology
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after a million months and so much time and suffering i can finally FINALLY say that the 1-10 writeup is done at long last
#umineko liveblog#just under 11k words before i edit it#i'll get it up at some point tomorrow and then i can 100% confirm that 1-11 is happening this weekend#you are all finally free of the pochapal infinite early episode 1 purgatory#the future is finally being ushered in long after the point where everybody gave up hope
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Lemme upload two quick things, first one is Newsea Torrent hair retexture with Newsea's original texture for both genders. (male conversion is completely new addition to this + I fixed some transparencies etc on it too)
Originally converted to Sims 2 by Evannamari here. I further converted it for male sims too because I wanted it for my boys and while at it I noticed it had few small transparencies and wonky normals at few small spots so I fixed those too.
Download Newsea Torrent for Both Genders from Simfileshare | Mega
If you just want the transparency/normals fixed mesh for females and/or mesh+base texture (binned volatile) you can download that here: Simfileshare | Mega
Credits & other info:
Mesh by Newsea, converted by Evannamari and further converted for boys by me.
Note: I added the male into the same mesh file to not needlessly duplicate the child mesh, additionally since I also fixed the transparencies and some normals I changed the filename a little from EMari_NewSea_J272_Torrent_4t2_CEFH_MESH to EMari_NewSea_J272_Torrent_4t2_CEBG_MESH_TransparencyFixByDigi please delete the original if you have it and want to use the fixed mesh.
Polycount is just a little bit over 11k, not bad for hair this long in my opinion.
Child - elder, both genders
Texture size is 1024x1024
Texture is Newsea's original
Colors are my usual awful mess, contains Pooklet's Volatile and Dynamite & Io's Serqet in the mess so credit to them for those
#sims 2 download#hair mesh: newsea#polycount 10k#tagging as 10k although it's 11k but 10 is closer than 15#long post#fhair#mhair
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can I write 8k in the next 5 hours??? probably not but am I still gonna try even tho I literally have zero large scale plot ideas for this book???? yeah!!!!
#today I bullshitted the most random flashback in the entire world but it doesn’t need to be cut out or moved or anything because this#is my designated Dumb Book & everything stays forever#it’s a good flashback tho lol like it’s purposeless RIGHT NOW#but WHO CARESSSSS#I forgot how nice it is to draft something where literally nothing at all matters#tbf it probably took me 5 hours total the last time to write 11k cuz I didn’t start till 1pm and took long breaks lolllll#I just wanna finish this chapter !!!
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