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naeviskz · 2 months

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“ WHY’D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU’RE HIGH ? ” ๑‧˚₊ ─── HHJ

synopsis ; you only call hyunjin when it’s late at night and you’re under the influence. he hates that you’ll never be his real girlfriend but it’s better to still have you this way than not at all.

genre 숌 FWB!hyunjin x fem!reader | college AU

words - 2.8k+ tags/warnings 숌 (some) fluff, angst, pwp (barely any plot tbh lmao), smut, one-sided love :(, jealous feelings, small mention of depression, mentions of smoking (weed), 34+35, squirting, protected sex **most of this is told in hj’s perspective !

now playing 🎧 : why’d you only call me when you’re high by arctic monkeys

Hyunjin has always been the type that likes to play with fire, he's a natural risk taker and 99% of the time it ends up serving in his favor— until he got himself acquainted with you. Had he known what would be the outcome of this he would've never gone over to your dorm on that one particular night. Things were good in the beginning, really good actually, he's never met someone so spontaneous in the bedroom like you. It was like spinning the mystery wheel of fortune to see what he'll get next. You were never boring, would get super vocal, and made him finish at least three times. It's like you were a godsend to cure his loneliness and desperate cravings for intimacy.

But like most good things, they always come to an eventual, sad end. This entanglement you two are in is starting to become too much for him, it’s been affecting his self esteem and making his mental health rapidly decline. From the outside looking in, he seems perfectly fine, nothing out of the ordinary; but his depression worsens day by day. He feels rather pathetic for staying friends with benefits if it’s only hurting him rather than helping, but it’s impossible to say no to you. Hyunjin knew exactly what kind of arrangement this was from the start but still chose to get involved anyway. He really did think he could handle it, no feelings, no strings attached - seems so easy right?

Maybe for you, but for him the realizations now begun to hit all at once. None of this is what he actually wants, he most definitely wants you of course, but not just solely to get in your panties. He’s never really been the type who just sleeps around, if anything his standards are so ridiculously high it was hard for him to get laid in the first place. That all changed once he got to know you, sharing a class together and getting paired in the same group for a project was all coincidental. He was so nervous around you he couldn’t even ask for your social media, let alone your number. It wasn’t until someone else in the group finally asked everyone to exchange numbers so each person will know their designated tasks. Not even days later you asked him over to your dorm to come “work on the project”, which was a blatant cover up because neither of you got any schoolwork done that night.

He regrets everything that lead up to this point, feeling foolish for not listening to his friends. He was warned on numerous occasions about you by them, was told to tread very carefully with someone as mercurial as you, but he’s in too deep now… literally and metaphorically. He’s already lost count on how many rounds it’s been so far, going at it like bunnies for the past three and a half hours. Hyunjin’s surprised he even has the stamina left for all this, droplets of sweat secrete from his forehead in utter concentration. He’s got your leg propped up high above his shoulder, sliding his cock in at just the right angle. The headboard keeps hitting against the wall as his strokes get sloppier, watching hisself disappear in and out of you while slamming right into your g-spot.

“Fuck Hyunjin… gonna cum!” You cry out from a wave of pleasure, body twitching as more whimpers escape your trembling lips.

Just when he thought he couldn’t get enough of you, your walls tighten around him, making his mind even hazier from the way you squeeze his cock. It’s such a perfect fit inside, literally feels like your pussy was made for him. You were made for him, and one day he’ll show you just how much you truly mean to him. But for now he needs to focus on making the both of you finish, his pace becoming more relentless. Your high state of mind made your body hypersensitive, limbs heavily shaking as water gushes from between your thighs and onto your legs. Exhaling a breathy moan, you couldn’t believe you just squirted all over Hyunjin’s thick cock.

“That’s so fucking hot..” he praised, filling the room with loud animalistic groans.

Eyes roll to the back of your head in ecstasy from your 82531365245th orgasm of tonight, you’re going to be so sore tomorrow. Hyunjin came shortly after you did, spilling every last drop of his seed into the condom. One day he hopes to get the chance to fuck you raw, see what it really feels like to be inside such a perfect pussy. If that moment ever did come, he’d be sure of it to make you officially his girl. His chest heaves from all that energy he’s just burned, looking at you underneath him with pure infatuation. Even when you’re a sticky, sweaty fucked out mess he still manages to find you to be the most heavenly angel that’s ever graced this earth.

Your bodies compressed together under the linen sheets of his full size bed, a much better upgrade than your sad twin XL one. Hyunjin runs his fingers down the apex of your thighs, gently kneading them while nibbling on the sweet spot of your neck. It’s been hours since you smoked but somehow you still feel so high— it could be because you literally just squirted though. You didn’t think your body was capable of doing that anymore, you’ve only squirted once before while using your vibrator but you never thought someone else could make you do that. If you believed in love and monogamy you’d be wifing him up ASAP.

Hyunjin wanted to stay like this for as long as he could, he never gets the opportunity to cuddle with you after sex, doesn’t get to cherish you in his arms and give you forehead kisses as you slowly fall asleep. You’re usually gone by the time he’s able to even try and do those things, but you haven’t moved a muscle yet. He’s wondering what you’re thinking in that pretty little head of yours, just wants to know if you even slightly feel the same way as he does. You shift under him, grabbing your phone on the nightstand adjacent to the bed, checking what time it is and any messages you missed.

“Care to stay a bit longer..?” Hyunjin timidly asks, hoping that by some miracle you’d give in and say yes.

“I can’t,” you rush to get up from his hold to go find your clothes scattered on the floor, “have to wake up early for lab tomorrow.”

He knows that it’s not his place to get genuinely upset over you leaving. He needs to accept that the only time you call him is when you’re high out of your mind and just want some dick. He’s not the only guy you’re seeing and it makes him furious that other men get to touch you like he does. The same way his hands roam all over your body and you just breathlessly whine how much you need him. Or when you’re riding his cock until his patience runs thin and he starts roughly thrusting himself back into you, tightly gripping the sides of your waist. It’s a shame you never let him take you out or even kiss you on the lips without acting weird about it. This dynamic you two have going on was supposed to be ideal, but Hyunjin just regrets it as it continues. He can’t keep living like this, it’s mental torture. Either you’re going to start seeing each other exclusively or he’ll have to kiss this arrangement goodbye for good.

“I don’t know … I just feel.. used…” Hyunjin finally expresses how he’s been feeling this whole time about you to his friends. Melting into the couch as he becomes one with it, the fogged up atmosphere of the room makes his brain go fuzzy.

“Then why don’t you break off all contact? Or just tell her you don’t wanna keep seeing her anymore if all she wants is sex.” Jeongin openly suggests, passing the joint over to Han who’s next in the rotation.

Han eagerly grabs it, pressing the rolled paper between his lips, taking an extra long inhale, “Yeah just be honest and upfront with her about it. Some girls are like that, only using guys for dick and money.” He comments after blowing out a thick cloud of smoke.

“But I want to keep seeing her,” Hyunjin shakes his head, further explaining, “just not in that way…”

“Good luck with that Mr. loverboy,” Changbin teases him for being so naive. “Everyone knows ___ is a freak, Minho and Chan already hit last semester, the things I heard she can do with her mouth is crazyy-”

“Don’t ever fucking talk about her like that again, you sound gross and disrespectful.” Hyunjin snaps at him to quickly defend you, he had to stop himself before he actually punches Changbin in the face.

He doesn’t want to know how many others are in the picture, nor does he care about the other guys you’ve slept with. In his delusional mind, you two only see each other and he’d like to keep it that way.

“Bro you’re beating a dead horse even trying to pursue this, she’s going to laugh in your face if you confess your feelings. She doesn’t believe in love, she told me ‘cause I asked her out on a date once before.” Changbin proceeds to admit, only adding more fuel to the fire as he keeps talking.

Hyunjin was even more pissed off now, he’s definitely going to bash his friend’s head into a wall right now. He has a feeling Jeongin and Han would immediately try and hold him back though.

“The only thing he’ll be beating is his meat once she cuts him off for getting too attached.” Han chimes in again, finding slight amusement in this whole situation.

Hyunjin is tired of feeling like his personal feelings are invalid , as if there’s something inherently wrong with falling for someone he’s been sexually intimate with for months now. He really wishes you’d stop playing games with him but fact of the matter is you’ll never be his girlfriend and it’s irrational for him to think this way.

“I can fix her,” Hyunjin confidently refutes his friend’s claims, “just wait and see.”

It’s 3 am on a Friday night, your heads reeling with countless thoughts and desperate to find an outlet to release all your frustrations. Calling Hyunjin to see what he’s up to, he answers almost immediately, trying to sound all nonchalant like he wasn’t waiting for you to call him for a late night hook up. He was quick to invite you over when you expressed how bored you were, getting there in less than 10 minutes and still managing to look super cute in your sweatpants and oversized hello kitty t-shirt. You reeked of marijuana as you walked in. Nothing new. Hyunjin doesn’t smoke but he notices the red tint in your eyes, how your movements are slowed and you’re acting all giggly with him.

God you’re so fucking cute it hurts.

He hugs you from behind as you make your way into his kitchen, the munchies are hitting you real hard and all you want is a nice PB&J sandwich. Unfortunately Hyunjin doesn’t have anymore jelly, only peanut butter.. you were mortified at the monstrosity of his pantry to begin with— there was barely anything in there.

“You seriously need to go grocery shopping soon, there’s nothing in here. I’m starvinggg.” You whine, about to have a mini meltdown if you don’t get any food in your system within the next 15 minutes.

“Why? It’s just me who lives here and I don’t really eat much, plus I mostly go to the dining halls anyway,” he says, “if you’re hungry I have some stuff up here.” Pointing to a different cabinet that was higher above, inside was filled with all your favorite kinds of snacks and candy , your eyes lit up at all the different varieties.

You seriously couldn’t thank him enough, turning around in his direction to look at his dreamy face. You had the strongest urge to kiss him right there in that moment but you refrained from doing so. Something piques your curiosity when you thought about kissing him on the lips, examining how perfectly plump they are and how badly you want them between your legs right now. Clenching around absolutely nothing, you’re neglecting all earlier thoughts of eating and now focus on the man behold you. Everything happened so fast, suddenly you were both heavily making out, his hands rest on your thighs as you sat on top of the kitchen counter. Fingers tangled up in his silky black locks, you get lost in the taste of him, sensing a mint flavored undertone with a hint of vanilla. Not even five minutes later you were on your knees deepthroating his cock as if you’re going to swallow him whole. He’d rut his hips slightly into you, fucking that pretty mouth of yours is his favorite. You know how to use it exceptionally well.

“Good girl..” he praises you to keep going, grabbing a fistful of your hair in the process, “just like that baby..”

Then he remembers what Changbin said from earlier about how you slept with Minho and Chan. It won’t leave his mind and he’s doing anything to stop these thoughts from impeding his orgasm, but he gets so fucking jealous he needs to do something else. That being to eat you out until you come undone so hard on his tongue it knocks the wind out of you. He wants to be the first, last, and only man that’ll ever make you feel this way, he’ll do whatever it takes to prove he’s worthy of your love and why he’s more than qualified to date you. No one is ever going to treat you better than he will, he’ll make sure to shower you with all his affection, be deeply devoted and provide only the best of the best for his perfect princess.

Hyunjin’s transferred you both onto the couch at one point , lying underneath you while you’re still sucking his cock after he’s already came on your face once before. You’re practically writhing and shaking from the way he’s devouring you, spreading your lips with his index and middle finger to lick slow, languid stripes on your clit. You still had a mouth full of his cock, your muffled moans vibrate around his girth making him twitch even more inside you. Unable to think or even concentrate on what you were doing, you couldn’t stop loudly whimpering, too busy focusing on grinding on his face, eventually giving up altogether. He didn’t seem to mind though, his only goal of tonight was getting you to cum an endless amount of times.

“Hyun- fuck! Oh my god..” you cry out in desperation, on the brink of having a mind blowing orgasm.

He takes that as a sign to go faster, dipping his tongue inside your dripping heat like it’s his last meal on earth. Your back arches in response, sounding like a broken record as you moan his name over and over. Something snaps within, literally bursting at the seams as you squirt again on Hyunjin’s face. A small tear rolls down the side of your cheek, not from any pain but the overwhelming sensation of it all left you physically numb. You can’t see it but Hyunjin was smiling so hard at the fact he was able to make you do this twice. He plants a kiss to your puffy pussy, gloating in his own little victory as he licks the remaining essence from the inside of your thighs. Sometimes you wonder why you smoke if you can just get the same effect after letting Hyunjin eat you out. Always feels like you’re floating, completely weightless in his hold.

You broke the ‘no kissing’ rule you again to continue sloppily making out with him some more, loving the way you taste on his tongue. He can’t get enough of you and neither can you get of enough of his amazing cunnilingus skills. The afterglow of your climax was like reaching the highest state of nirvana. Feeling at one and at peace with everything around you.

After being snuggled up while lying on Hyunjin’s chest, you get a bit sleepy but you don’t want to burden him by staying the night.

“I have to go now,” you abruptly say after a long moment of silence, “see you later.”

“Wait- stay” his palm presses against your shoulder before you can fully get up, “please don’t leave this time, please.”

He hates how that sounded so pitiful, but he’s lost all pride at this point. If he can’t have you as his girlfriend then he’ll just pretend you are. It’s better to keep it this way than to ever admit his feelings and be subject to possible rejection down the line.

You reluctantly sink back into the mattress, “O-okay..” feeling more vulnerable than ever been before.

Oddly enough it feels more intimate to cuddle and sleep next to him rather than having a full on fuck marathon. He held you in his embrace the whole night after that, feeling more accomplished than ever in getting you to spend the night. Hyunjin hopes that this wont be the last time this happens, he wishes this was the outcome of every night you sleep together. One day he will muster up the courage in finally confessing how he truly feels but for now— he’ll take whatever tiny crumb of affection from you he can get.

- 完 ︎♡︎

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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 11 months

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Baby fever

AN: I'm sure your shock has been imagined that I wrote this. I haven't even watched the video fully yet because I should be have been trying to work on my final assignments for the semester but, I've seen enough to prompt me to write this very impulsively. Apologies to all of the fics I was actively working on (glances at my 2Min drabble with apologetic eyes).

Synopsis: Seeing pictures and videos of your boyfriend with a baby inspires a stronger reaction from you than either of you could have anticipated.

Heads up: Hwang Hyunjin x Fem! Reader, established relationship, the plot is barely there if I'm being honest, dirty talk, usage of pet names, nipple play (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex for the first time, both Reader and Hyunjin cry at points, one mention of Reader worrying she'll draw blood from Hyunjin but no actual blood and it isn't referenced beyond that, very apparent breeding kink and talks about breeding, Hyunjin says mommy once in reference to making Reader a mum, creampie and dacryphilia kink if you squint.

Word count: 3765

I will block you if you are a minor and have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

You don't expect much when your phone buzzes with a notification from Felix. He always sends you messages throughout the day, even when he has a pretty packed schedule. Asking you how your day is, telling you about his and sending you short videos and funny pictures of the rest of the members that he manages to catch.

So when you open his message, you expect maybe a selfie with him and Chris or a video of Minho feigning annoyance at being recorded.

What you don't expect is to see Hyunjin. Well, that's not entirely true. Felix sends you pictures and videos of Hyunjin all of the time. What you don't expect is to see your boyfriend awkwardly and carefully holding an incredibly adorable, chubby baby.

He did mention a while ago now that he, Felix, and Jeongin were going to be on some variety show with children, but it had honestly slipped your mind. University has been eating you alive for the past month or so, so any space in your brain for anything that isn't response papers and projects has been minimal.

Now, as you as you sit at your desk with the Word document left untouched, all you can do is stare at the video of Hyunjin trying his best to soothe the baby. His hold on him is very clumsy and it makes you a little anxious but, it's all dwarfed by how softly your boyfriend looks at him and how his massive hands cradle the baby's tiny body to his. The smile on his face is positively radiant, and the little cooing sounds he makes do eventually draw a smile and giggle from the baby comfortably in his arms.

You don't think you've felt your heart constrict more in your chest ever in your entire life. Not even when he told you he loved you for the first time or when the two of you went on your first date or the first time you had sex. Sitting here, seeing him fumble his way through interacting with this baby and the unadulterated softness in his face, completely derails any other train of thought than wanting to have a baby of your own with him.

Which is absolute insanity.

Not only are the two of you nowhere near ready to be parents, your relationship is also not even a year old yet. You've spoken about children, and while you are on the same page, now is nowhere near the time.

Still, the more carnal part of your brain can't find it to care as you continue to scroll through the barage of pictures and videos Felix sent to you. An audible 'aw' leaving your lips when the baby's tiny hand wraps around your boyfriend's finger.

Yeah, there's no way you're getting any work done today.

You practically lunge at Hyunjin when he opens your front door. You swallow his noise of surprise greedily, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing him to the door he just barely manages to close. Despite being caught thoroughly off-guard, he kisses you back. His hands coming to rest on your hips.

"Not that I'm complaining," he breathes out once he separates himself from your lips, "but, what brought this on?"

"Lix sent me pictures and videos of you with a baby," you mutter against his neck as you kiss along the sensitive skin there. Your blood turning into molten heat in your veins as he squirms and whimpers against you. You're sure you're wet enough already to take him. You've been wet for what feels like hours now.

"Okay?" He says, blinking at you in confusion through the lust induced haze he was momentarily in.

"You looked really cute and happy."

He still doesn't seem to quite understand what about that would cause you to react like this.

"Seeing you with a baby was really attractive," you finally spell out for him.

"Attractive?!" He squeaks out, and you'd usually find that endearing and cause to smush his cheeks between your hands, but you're too highstrung right now.

"Yes," you breathe, resuming your kisses along on his neck, on part of his jaw until you reach his ear, "it was really, really attractive. I couldn't even focus on my work because all I could think about was you cumming inside of me and, putting a baby in me."

You're sure Hyunjin would have crumpled to your floor if he wasn't leaning against your door. He was blushing so hard you could feel the heat radiating off of him. You don't think you've ever seen him get this red, especially so quickly, ever.

"Wh-what?" Is all he can respond with and, in all fairness, you did drop a nuclear bit of information on the poor man, so this reaction isn't exactly unexpected.

You take one of his hands and slip it into the waistband of your shorts and panties, moaning quietly when his fingers come into contact with your soaked slit. Hyunjin isn't unaffected either if the glaze in his eyes and bob of his adam's apple are anything to go by.

"I've been so wet for you all day, Jinnie," you whine, your eyes fluttering slightly and your walls clenching when his fingers run along your folds all on their own.

"Fuck," he grits, catching you by surprise this time around and slamming his mouth into yours. This kiss is more carnal than the last one. It's all teeth and tongue and spit and, all you can do is fist his shirt to steady yourself while his nimble fingers stroke you. You're barely aware that he's pushing you backwards until you find yourself hitting your couch. His mouth remains firmly on yours as you two tumble onto it.

A disappointed whine leaves you when his hand leaves your panties and shorts. Your walls throb borderline painfully, and you feel acutely empty. "I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you," he has the audacity to laugh, albeit hoarsely.

"Jinnie, I'm ready. Please, I want you inside of me. I'm beyond ready," you whimper, clutching onto his biceps. Giving him your best puppy dog eyes and pout while he clenches his jaw at your words.

"You're trying to kill me," he groans, resting his forehead against your shoulder. From the pressure you feel on your thigh right now, you're sure your suggestion sounds tempting right now.

He kisses you more slowly this time. Savouring every brush and press of your lips against his own and, the two of you moan into each other as your tongues caress one another. You thought you'd won until you feel his hands impatiently tug your shirt up, exposing your breasts to the cool air of your apartment. His mouth descending down your neck, lavishing your throat with kisses and licks while you arch into him. Your hands tugging on his dark locks while he kisses down your body.

"Hyun-Hyunjin," you whimper, your hips jolting up into him when his breaths ghost over one of your hardened nipples.

"Are you sure you still want me to just fuck you?" Is all he says before you find your nipple enveloped by his mouth and your other breast in one of his hands.

You're sure you've soaked through your panties and are close to ruining your shorts from the way your wetness trickles out of you with every lick and suck of your boyfriend's sinful mouth. The vibrations from the groans he presses into you only make it all so much worse, along with the precise way his fingers tug and lightly pinch your other nipple.

Hyunjin would happily spend hours with his mouth and hands all over your breasts if history is any indication. However, as eyeroll and toe-curl inducing as this all feels, you're determined to get your way.

Your hands cup his face and pull him up to you. The frown on his thoroughly kissed lips almost makes you laugh, but you kiss him before the giggles get the better of you, and he complains about you ruining his time with your tits.

"Want you," you mutter against his lips, palming his erection through his jeans. The evidence of his want for you clear as day and heavy in your palm. You're tempted to just flip him over and sink down on him yourself.

"An-And I'm the one always being called impatient," he retorts with an affectionate roll of his eyes and kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"It's not my fault you looked so attractive," you respond with a shrug, biting back the complaint on the tip of the tongue when he peels away from you to tug off his shirt. God, you really must be the luckiest woman alive.

"I didn't think you'd be so into it," he says distractedly, impatiently tugging down his jeans and leaving him in nothing but his black boxers that cling in a horribly tempting way to his slender hips and, outline his hard cock.

You're not sure whether your mouth or pussy waters more.

Hyunjin flushes under your intense gaze, as if you haven't seen him naked more times than both of you could count. It still boggles your mind sometimes how your boyfriend can turn from confident, sexy and suave to an awkward, flustered mess in an instant. Well, that duality is among the multitude of reasons you're so irrevocably in love with him.

"You're staring," he mumbles, avoiding your gaze.

"It's not my fault you're so hot," you retort, delighting in the deepening blush on his cheeks. He's just too easy for his own good.

He just huffs in parts exasperation and embarrassment, choosing instead to focus on getting you naked. The playful atmosphere quickly dissipates as he hooks his thumbs into your shorts and panties, and you lift your hips to help him tug them off.

Once he's tossed them somewhere to join the heap of clothes littering your floor, Hyunjin settles himself between your thighs once more but, on his stomach this time. You really, really wish he'd just fuck you and before you're able to verbalise that thought, your boyfriend takes a slow, deliberate lick at you.

A strangled gasp flies from your lips and your hips jolt but, his large hands hold you firm. "Just let me do this for you, okay?" He asks, his stupid, pretty brown eyes boring into yours through his dark hair. His mouth hovers above you, as if waiting for some sort of response from you.

"Fuck, fine Jinnie, okay. Please, just do some-" your words are cut off by a choked sob when Hyunjin takes your words as a green light. His lips attached themselves to your poor clit, licking and sucking in ways that tighten the knots in your gut and causes your toes to curl. Your fingers weaving themselves into his hair and tugging, which prompts a whimper from your boyfriend. The vibrations making your eyes roll into the back of your skull.

A pitchy moans of his name fill the air of your apartment when his slender fingers toy with your entrance. Barely breaching your hole and you want to scream.

"Hyunjin," you whimper out, impatiently tugging on his hair.

"I'm sorry," he mutters against you with a smile and, pushes two of his fingers into you gradually.

They don't fill you nearly as much as you need but, they're better than nothing. That thought is particularly bolstered when he curls them inside of you, only needing a few moments before he finds the spot inside of you that makes your thighs quiver and your mind to go blank. Combined with his unrelenting ministrations on your poor, sensitive clit and how needy you've been for him all day, it all becomes too much so quickly.

"Hyun-Hyunjin, Jinnie. I- I'm-" You're not even sure what you're trying to articulate but, the jumbled mess of words seem to only motivate your boyfriend further. He curls his fingers harder and laps at your clit with renewed enthusiasm.

That's all it takes for everything to fracture.

You're sure the grip you have on Hyunjin's hair hurts but, you can't help it. Everything seizes and your walls spasm viciously, clamping down so harshly on Hyunjin's fingers he can barely keep curling them inside of you. Still, he tries. He's not as intense as he was moments ago but, still fingers you through your orgasm while his tongue gently laps up everything you give him.

You sag against your couch once your body relaxes. You're half certain you'd float up into the air if Hyunjin's grip on you wasn't still so strong. Speaking of your boyfriend, he does eventually unlatches himself from your hypersensitive clit. His hair is completely dishevelled, and you could already see a thin sheen of sweat on his flushed skin. His tongue pokes out to chase every bit of you he can on his bruised lips, his eyes dark.

You're sure he feels the way you clench around his fingers despite quite literally just cumming. He leans down to hungrily kiss you, tasting yourself on his tongue that he pushes into your eager mouth. As if your mind isn't muddled enough. You moan into him when he very slowly pulls his fingers out of you. Now you feel so empty that it physically hurts.

"Jinnie," you plead, your fingers reaching down to toy with the waistband of his boxers. The muscles of his abdomen jumping with every brush of your fingers against them. One of his hands comes down to cup your jaw, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips.

"Fine, fine," he says after pulling away from you and tugging his boxers down. His cock, flushed an appealing red, bobbing in the air between the two of you as he drops his boxers on your floor. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, and even more of your wetness leaks out of you, smearing your inner thighs.

Hyunjin gets up, and that kicks you out of the stupor you were in. Your hand shoots to grab his wrist, stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Where are you you going?"

"To uh...get condoms?" He asks, confusion evident in both his voice and handsome face.

"Why?"

"Wh-Why?"

"Yeah, why? I'm okay with not using them if you are. I wasn't kidding when I said I really want you to cum inside of me."

Hyunjin closes his eyes then. Gritting his teeth before responding, "What about...y'know? Not that I don't want to have children with you eventually but-"

"Jinnie, I'm on the pill. I have been since I was a teenager."

That stops Hyunjin. His big, brown eyes blinking at you as if he can't quite believe that this is real. That this is happening.

You soften then, slipping your hand downwards to intertwine your fingers with his longer one, "Hey, we don't have to if you don't want to. We can use condoms if that's what you're comfortable with."

That seems to only make your boyfriend flail harder, "No, no. It's not that I don't want to. Honestly, I've thought about it a lot," that makes you raise an eyebrow, "I've just never- I've just never done it without a condom before."

"Neither have I," you respond easily.

"Really?"

The look you give him is enough for Hyunjin to recognise what a dumb question that was, "Right, okay, sorry."

That seems to ease his anxieties significantly, he doesn't look nearly as tense as he did when you suggested the idea. You tug him down into another deep kiss, wrapping your arms around him as he resumes his place between your thighs. Gasps leaving both of you when his cock nudges at your very wet folds, the barely there pressure and searing heat causing your nails to dig into his shoulders.

"You're 100% sure about this right?" He asks once more, his eyes swirling with nervousness and desire.

While you appreciate how sweet he's being, you're seconds from pulling out your hair if he doesn't just fuck you right now. However, an idea comes to your mind to finally entice your boyfriend into fully letting go.

One of your hands reaches down until you reach the apex of your thighs, spreading your pussy for him to see just how sure you are.

"Yes, Jinnie. Fuck me, please."

Something in Hyunjin snaps then. His mouth swallowing your whimpers as he finally sinks into you. You can feel him practically vibrating with the effort to keep himself composed.

He's so hot inside of you. You're not sure sex has ever felt so intense. You've had him inside of you hundreds of times but, this...this is completely different. You swear you can feel everything. Every twitch and every throb and every vein as your walls melt around him. Before you know it, you're blinking away tears from how overwhelming it all is and pull him closer to you, wrapping your legs around him.

"Fuck, wait. Shit, don't do that. Don't move," he chokes out into the hollow of your throat, his own hold on your hips growing harsh and his cock twitching repeatedly inside of you.

"Jinnie, move," you whine into his ear, you can barely recognise yourself. You sound so foreign to your own ears but, from the way Hyunjin's hips slightly jolt and he mutters a string of curses against your skin, he might be into this new state of fucked out you've managed to achieve.

You thought it couldn't be even intense, but then Hyunjin moves, and you're pretty sure your visions goes black at the edges for a few seconds. There's no way to tell who moans louder but, you both press your noises into each other's skin all the same. Your nails drag down his back so hard that you're briefly worried that you might have drawn blood.

"Baby," Hyunjin whimpers out, thrusting into you slowly and shallowly, barely satisfying either of you, "Baby, I need you to relax. I-I won't last if you don't."

His words only instinctively make you tighten around him, made all the worse since he's so deeply nestled of you. Your walls massaging him and generously coating him in your slick.

"I want it, Jinnie. I don't care, please," you don't know what's possessed you but, the realisation that he very really could fill you with his cum hits you like a train. You pull him even closer to you, "Fuck me all you want. Cum inside of me all you want. Breed me all you want, Jinnie."

Something broken and feral slips from his lips, his teeth ghost over your throat as he fucks into you without abandon. The sounds of your skin colliding and your respective sounds of pleasure echoing all throughout your living room, and probably throughout your entire apartment.

"Yeah? Want me to fuck my baby into you?" He grits out possesively, "Want me to make you swollen with my ba-baby and make you a mommy?"

"Please, yes, Jinnie," you moan, holding onto him for dear life as he seems determined to make his words a reality. Both of you completely lost in each other and delirious.

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck," he moans against your shoulder in-between kisses that are more spit and tongue than anything else. "Fuck. Gonna cum. Gonna fill you up with my cum until it's leaking out of you for days. Gonna breed you so good," he slurs, his heavy pants joining the symphony of sounds currently playing through your living room. You're certain you'll have bruises on your hips in the morning but, you couldn't care less. You want it. You want it more than anything.

It's always easy to tell when Hyunjin is about to cum. Your boyfriend isn't exactly great at hiding his emotions, and from the increase in the frequency of curses and moans and the way he holds onto you, you know he's teetering on the edge. You are, too, if you're being honest, but you're more invested in him falling apart. A choked sob of your name is the only warning you receive before you feel his cock twitch inside of you incessantly and warmth flooding your awaiting pussy.

You're surprised to feel some wetness on your shoulder and, concern trumps any other emotion when you register that. Your hands reach to cup his face, a few stray tears streaking his flushed cheeks.

"Hey, Jinnie baby, is everything okay?"

It takes him a few moments to find the words to respond to you, and you rub your thumb soothing on his cheek while you wait for him patiently.

"I-I-I don't think I've e-ever cum so hard. It-It was really i-intense," he hiccups out, nuzzling into your grasp.

Oh.

Well, that puts the tears on his face into a very different light and, perhaps you've discovered another new thing about yourself today.

"I'm sorry. I got a little...out of control at the end there," he mutters, his face speeding from pink to red as he avoids your gaze studiously.

"Jinnie, you have nothing to apologise for," you tug him towards you and plant featherlight kisses on his cheek, "It was really fucking hot, if I'm being honest."

That only makes your boyfriend blush harder and seek refuge in your shoulder after groaning in embarrassment. The movement quickly reminds you that he's still very much inside of you right now and that his cum is slowly starting to trickle out of you but, you feel too boneless to even entertain the idea of getting up right now.

"I'm still surprised seeing me with a baby resulted in all of this," he says after his embarrassment subsides, his fingers tracing nonsensical patterns on your thigh.

"Wouldn't see me with a baby make you feel the same way?"

He seems to ponder on that for a little bit before replying, "Fair point. You know, when we do eventually have one of our own, I hope they have your eyes."

This stupid man and the way he makes your heart race.

"Well, I hope they have your eyes and your pouty lips and your dimples," you retort, feeling very, very shy all of a sudden as though this isn't happening because of you.

"We'll just have to have more than one then. You know, just to make sure they get all of the traits we want them to get," he has the nerve to grin at you.

"Hyunjin!" You cry, scandalised, warmth flooding your face. However, you can't deny that a bunch of children with his smile and kind eyes doesn't sound like the such a bad idea.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

#hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut

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bettsfic · 7 months

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hi betts!

i’ve been a fan of yours for years now (training wheels is one of my favorite stories— not just fics. stories— ever, and i really admire your style. as a writer myself, i want to ask how you’re able to keep your motivation up to complete your projects? i feel like i start out so motivated when i fall in love with an idea, but once that fevered haze fades, it’s almost impossible for me to get the motivation i need to write. i have a few wips that i feel so guilty about not finishing/not wanting to finish/wanting to finish but being unable to get the inspiration to. so, in short, how do you maintain the motivation to finish your wips?

thank you so much! i'm glad to hear it; training wheels is still very dear to me.

first, if you want a step by step guide to finishing your wips, i wrote a tutorial earlier this year in my newsletter.

also as i've said elsewhere, i believe it's more important to follow your inspiration and interest where it takes you even if it means not finishing things. one of the reasons i love fanfic is because it's the only genre i can think of where you get to read unfinished works and be present during the writing of them.

but you asked about *my* motivation to finish things, and i'll say it's taken me a long time to build the endurance necessary not only to complete big projects but also complete them to my satisfaction. in my experience, the better you are at finishing things, the worse you become at starting them, and so whereas i used to have a million wips and ideas happening at once, now i can see the ridiculous endeavor ahead of me and pick my battles more knowledgeably.

also, i don't finish everything, especially not right away. sometimes i sit years on a story before i eventually come back to it. but i've found that it's inevitable that when i put something down that i care about, i'll come back around to it when i'm ready. it's not something i have to force. my attention and interest bounces around all over the place but the things i love, i love forever. so i'll always come back around to them.

most importantly--and this is really very important--i lie to myself.

here are the two main lies i tell myself:

"this is the best thing i've ever written," and

"i'm almost done."

being a little delusional is a huge benefit as a writer. if you're too honest with yourself nothing can get done. but i've always had a natural talent for convincing myself of things that aren't true and although that's gotten me in a lot of trouble in all other aspects of my life, in writing it keeps me just far enough away from reality that i can finish things.

the process is something like this:

vague story idea!

will probably be very small, the shortest story i have ever written in fact

begin writing

feels good, feels organic

no no that's not right, bad vibes

start over

ohhh i see what i'm trying to do

outline the tiniest, easiest outline i have ever made. five bullet points. this happens, and then this and this, and the story ends. EASY

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

write write write

definitely tomorrow, almost done

check word count. 25k. uh oh

doesn't matter, almost done. have *checks* four out of five bullet points to go

write write write

five point bullet outline no longer effective

re-outline. five points turns into five pages. uh oh

check word count. 60k. big yikes

but! almost done! will finish tomorrow, probably

write write write

get stuck? how? but the outline...

the outline is ineffective. re-outline.

check word count. 100k. :(

almost done :)

a plot knot arises. spend six hours staring at a wall to undo the plot knot

plot knot is more insidious than expected. open new document. start over

*now* i'm almost done

rewrite, restructure, reorganize

check word count. 20k. :(

write write write

check word count. 200k. :((

weeks-long fugue state during which i am god

awaken to filthy apartment. i have not eaten a vegetable in many days. i have not seen the sun.

eat a broccoli

go outside

am i living? am i truly living? is this all life is? am i loved? am i worth loving?

return to safety of fictional world to avoid existential despair

write write write

will finish by tomorrow, probably

so it's really less about motivation to finish and more about motivation to chase down an increasingly elusive feeling of joy through immersion into worlds of my own making and control. it's way easier to run away from something than toward it.

#writing advice #motivation #process #listen i'm not saying i have a healthy relationship with writing #if you can do it healthier than i do that's what i recommend

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raccoonfallsharder · 4 months

Text

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟupdated 1/9

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 24/27 chapters | wip| word count: pending. ♡ check the masterlist for expected updates ♡ ♡ see the "holiday special" ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ [new 12/5] ♡

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

When Rocket enters their new bunk, Jo’s sitting on the floor: leaning against the edge of the bed, working diligently on some kind of woven thing. It’s a tapestry of sorts, the threads and flosses all hand-laced together. She’s put most of her tools and equipment in a closet down the corridor, and she takes them out when she’s practicing a new skill or brushing up on old ones, working on these little low-cost, low-sentiment projects that are the only ones she’ll take on board, and only for a few days at a time. She pulls out her little tools and supplies, and sits on the floor in the common area or — now, apparently — in their new bunk. She works, and then she packs up all her small things, and she takes them back out and tucks them out of sight in the closet once more. The idea of it gets under his skin, to be honest. A closet. Jo’s been shrinking her life ever since she met him, and he should probably back up out of it before he makes things worse — but it’s too late for that now. He’s too greedy to do it, even though he knows he should. And besides — if he’s pretending to be altruistic — he’d promised to not run her off. So instead, he decides he’s gonna focus on making sure she puts her name on every goddamn surface she can, everywhere they go.

[NEW 1/9] ✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend. ❤︎❤︎

this was originally the last half of Chapter XXIII (the previous chapter) so if it starts a bit rough, i'm so sorry. as a result, we do jump into some smut pretty quickly in this chapter so if you need to, make sure to check out the warnings in the closing notes. i'm really excited about the next chapter, too! which is less smutty and more feelings-ish. ~♡

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut.

let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units.in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. *in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy continues to spin.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~discreetly~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. *

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. ❤︎❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ A Holiday Special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @glow-autumz

#window across the galaxy #rfh fanfic #longform fic #rocket raccoon #rocket raccoon fanfic #rocket raccoon fanfiction #gotg #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy fanfiction #rocket raccoon x oc #rocket x jolie #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #gotg rocket #gotg fanfic #rocket x oc

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selfproclaimedunicorn · 3 months

Note

Fic writer asks: 31/32 as one question, 46, and 50 :D

Thank you for your service in sending me distractions 🙏🏻

31: What's your ideal fic length to write? | What's your ideal fic length to read?

Bestie, I literally cannot answer this. The length of my chapters is all over the goddam place, & I've only ever committed in a serious way to fic one (1) time & that's with my current project(s?). I think that, like, if I am pushed to think about it, just in terms of Longfic-Chapter-Length, I really hit a sweet spot with my early chapters in SOTF where I hovered around 8-12k, & everything after that has been...IDK me literally being insane & not knowing how to shut up because I committed to my formatting. I haven't finished any fic since...I wanna say high school (& even then it was all written out in longhand in spiral notebooks) & I only finished one or two of my innumerable projects. So I guess longfics get there when they get there, final word count be damned. Who TF knows with my shorter stuff, those all exist on vibes & vibes alone, & they're done when The Spirit Of Writing tells me they are. Shorter stuff does tend to top out at 2k (or thereabout), though.

In terms of reading, tbh I've never read a lot of fanfic. IDK, I just never really thought about it because I tend to be very isolated & "I can entertain myself" when it comes to fandom experience. I also sort of read fic like I read books (see: it takes me forever), so you could set me down with something of pretty much any length & I'll eventually get it done. There is no length determination, only if I fuck with the writing style & plot.

46: Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

I definitely prefer writing on a computer, my mom was kinda militant about me learning how to type when I was young so I have a really high wpm now & it's just faster. That said, I'm not opposed to writing on my phone. I wrote the vast majority of the currently published chapters of my HOTD fic on my phone because I didn't have a laptop for 3 years, & I'm not going to write "cunt" on a work computer, even if it's during my lunch break. So I'm writing hybrid phone/computer even though I do have one now. I got good enough at writing several thousand word chapters in the app version of google docs with naught but my thumbs that I'll go with "whatever is convenient for the location I'm currently in." Computer is definitely where I'm thriving, though.

50: Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

There's only 2 that are currently in the fic, & then there's one planned one, but no one talked about the 2 that were there at all & so I have to just get them out there. Also my Patented Misa Foreshadowing That Makes Me Giggle And Kick My Feet But No One Picks Up On Because My Thought Pattern Cannot Be Reproduced.

Chapter 6 has a minor "right in front of my salad" reference

I named the brothers of Borros Baratheon's wife after Peter and Edmund Pevensie from the Narnia series & gave them the same age gap. I foreshadowed Yorick's dragon by having his personal arms be a black dragon & have him get assigned to play at having one that color when he played with his cousins. I foreshadowed Ella's betrothal/husband by having her wear a dress with roses on it at a tourney, & the favor she gave her dad was yellow roses (the real-world equivalent to the heraldry exclusive gold of House Tyrell). But no one mentions these things. They make me happy, but I want someone to point at it & be like "oh hey!"

I have an upcoming easter egg with Ella's son/first child. I'm naming him Griffith because, sure, actual Griffith from Berserk sucks, but his name fucks & I like Berserk so why shouldn't I co-opt his name? It's mine now. Yoink. Enjoy being a footnote in the list of "media Misa likes that can be referenced in something else"

#asks

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recurring-polynya · 10 months

Note

Hello polynya! Hope you don’t mind but I’d like to ask you about your writing process. You’re really one of the best fic writers I’ve seen so I’d like to pick your brain a little. :) How long do you spend outlining something before writing it down? What do you do when you get stuck on something? How do you make sure you’re getting characters right? I’m very concerned about that last one since I haven’t seen Bleach in years and if I ever started writing something, I’m worried I’d make everyone OOC.

Hi! Sorry for delay on this. I wanted to take the time to write out a nice and thoughtful answer and then I got swamped by stuff. I really do like sharing writing advice, though, so thank you for asking!

Just gonna do a little cut for length:

How long do you spend outlining something before writing it down? So, I want to start with the caveat that I hate outlining. I am very much that dog-with-a-frisbee meme, only it's "No decide what happens! Only write!" I think that, in general, it's best to do as much outlining as you can stand at the beginning of a project, but there is a minimum amount that I force myself to do, but what that minimum is will depend on the fanfic I am trying to write.

Sometimes a fanfic will spring into my head, fully formed, beginning to middle to end. Just go for it. No outline. Fuck it, we ball. Generally, this is going to be a shorter fanfic, like <10k, but I ran all of Portions for Foxes with no net. There is like the Touch of God, though, there is no way to guarantee this process.

Usually, with the stories in my Heart is a Muscle series, I declare that I am Writing This Thing, and it has a broad concept and, like, 5 scenes I really want to write. In this case, I will make an iterative outline. I really, really didn't feel like outlining the one I am working on now, and for a significant amount of time, my "Ductwork Notes" documents just said: "Outline: lol". However, as I actually started to work on it, and completed some scenes, I put them in the outline. Also, any time I thought of a scene I wanted to do, or a scene I would need to do, I added it to the outline. At some point, I was able to feel my way around the shape of the thing. It takes place over ~2 weeks, and I wrote out when the big events happened, which made it more obvious where and what I needed to add. I just continue to refine and add detail. I'm maybe 10 or 15% of my way into this thing (by progress, not by word count). As I go, I continue to update the outline. Eventually, I will break it into chapters, with word count. Going back and forth between the zoomed-way-in activity of writing and the big picture exercise of thinking about my story as a whole is the best way for me to work (it's also the way I code, swapping back and forth between writing and testing individual functions with how they fit into the overall software framework.) I feel like this is not a thing that would work for everyone, but it works for me.

Plot bunnies. We all get them. I generally do not get gripped by them, the way some people do, but every so often, I have a bit of a wild idea (often an AU), where I get excited over an idea, and I need to decide how much energy I am willing to devote to it. In this case, an outline is a tool for that. The thing that separates a plot bunny, imo, from a "fic idea" is that plot bunnies are usually open ended hooks: What if so-and-so died? Oh, I love this splash page where they're all in a band. That's not a story, it's just a concept. So, if I am considering making a story, I force myself to make an outline. It must have a beginning, middle and end. It must contain a number of Big Scenes I am excited about writing and that I think people will be excited about reading. Sometimes, this process very clearly informs me that this is not a story that I want to take the time to write, and that maybe I'd rather just do a fanart or write a 1k throwaway scene or maybe just make a Tumblr post about. But if the process of making the outline isn't a huge turnoff, well, now I've got an outline, which is a significant part of the work done, and I can feel free to go for it.

What do you do when you get stuck on something?

If I am stuck on a specific thing, the best thing for me is to go do a chore that requires my hands and leaves my brain free. Washing dishes, folding laundry, weeding, are all excellent candidates for this. It can be enormously frustrating to get stuck, because I am very impatient, so I have a litany of things I tell myself at these times, like "this is what writing is. just let your brain chew on it." I often try to let my brain run down little possibilities, even when I know they won't work, just to see where they lead. I try to remind myself to have fun and enjoy the process.

If I am stuck in the sense that I have writer's block or just generally don't feel like writing, I try to do other things. If I catch up on my ao3 comments and my volunteer job, then, when the inspiration comes back, I'll have a clear schedule. I believe that there are cycles of writing, where sometimes you are in creative mode, but sometimes you are in rest mode, and sometimes you are ingest mode, so it's good to go read a book or watch a new show. It's also cool to go revisit the source material.

How do you make sure you’re getting characters right? I’m very concerned about that last one since I haven’t seen Bleach in years and if I ever started writing something, I’m worried I’d make everyone OOC.

I mean, why not do a rewatch, or even better, read the manga? You don't have to go through the whole thing, just the parts relevant to the story you are trying to tell, or the character you are trying to get write. I do this all the time, even though I already have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of the parts of Bleach I care about. The Bleach wiki is very helpful for figuring out what happened in particular episodes.

I think this ties back to the previous questions, but a big part of writing is that you have to sit with your writing in your head and figure out what you are doing and why and if you are accomplishing that. There are different ways of doing this that you may find you enjoy more or less. I don't like outlining, but I do like looking up little bits of canon and overanalyzing minor details and making esoteric Tumblr posts about them.

Once you are actually writing, I try to have a very clear idea for my major players of:

What is their tendency?

What is their goal?

Their tendency is what they do naturally, how they act when they aren't thinking about it. Usually, you are shooting for your character to have some growth or change, and that's what I mean by goal. How do they act when they are being intentional? Then, in any writing situation, you can decide, "are they being natural or are they being intentional?" and decide their actions based on that. I think the most basic conflict you can write about is the tension between who someone is and who they would like to be!

A very basic example of this is that Renji is usually a pretty casual guy. He uses informal speech and probably jokes around with his subordinates. On the other hand, when Byakuya's around, he straightens his spine and puts on his best officer voice, because he wants to impress his boss.

This is going to vary based on the story you want to tell. The "tendency" category is also going to include what your characters do when they are scared or angry or other circumstances where things move from "unthinking" into "involuntary." A nice thing about this is that if you write one million stories about the same characters, you can really show their growth over time.

I hate YouTube analysis videos, but I watched one that really rewired my brain, about how, in a panic situation, Renji freezes up and Rukia runs. Hihiou Zabimaru, as an incomplete bankai, often acts a protective wall around Renji, allowing him to act while standing still. Conversely, So-oh Zabimaru is a close-combat bankai and prominently features a grabby arm. Rukia's bankai, on the other hand, is all about standing her ground (and forcing everyone else to, too). And on one hand, this is a powers analysis, but I use this as a touchstone a lot when I write about their conflict resolution styles at various stages of their maturity.

Here's a bit of advice that may be controversial, but I am going to say it: I think that even if you prefer AUs (and I mean, like, coffee shop AUs, not twist-on-canon AUs) you should write canon-compliant fic once in a while, even just as an exercise. You don't have to show it to anyone, it doesn't need to be a complete story. You can even just take a canon scene and try to write it from the POV of one of your characters. I just people really underestimate the amount of character work it takes to write a good AU. It's super hard to keep the characters feeling correct when you've taken away all the character beats that have informed them as people! In fact, I think it's good for any writer to try out different kinds of writing once in a while, even kinds you think you won't like. It really builds your writerly muscles and forces your to think about things in new and potentially mind-blowing ways.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful! I hope you do give writing a shot and I wish you the best of luck!

#writing advice

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mrfancyfoot · 2 months

Text

Raphael x Evie (f!OC) | Rating: E/varied | Chapter 1 on AO3

Chapter 7: If Not Friend, Why Friend Shaped?

While the group is making their way towards the Last Light Inn, Astarion and Evie have a discussion about the devil.

Chapter Rating: M-ish / SFW-ish Word Count: ~1550 Tags: Evie POV, Angst Warnings: A couple references to Evie and Astarion’s current and prior relationship. They’ve slept together at this point but have broken that off and pivoted to something more platonic.

Story Summary: All’s fair in love and war. Things are bustling in Baldur’s Gate as the city rebuilds. Life is looking up for Evie who has ambitions set on her (re-)inventions and business ventures as she juggles a certain vampire’s budding political career, the unwitting godhood bestowed upon her by a clan of fanatical fish people, and the increasing attentions of a devil who she believes woefully has no other friends. . Story Tags: Tags will update with progress, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Humor, Manipulation, Eventual Smut, Modern Girl in Baldur's Gate, Canon-Typical Behavior, Varied Chapter Lengths, Not Canon Compliant, Possessive Behavior, Dubious Morality, Dubious Consent, Worldbuilding, Kuo-toa, She's not stuck with him he's stuck with her, Has plot-legs, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Warning: Raphael, Raphael is obsessed, No sleeping with Haarlep, Girl has her shit together and that’s sexy, Neurodivergent OC, Lawful Evil meets Chaotic Neutral, Marriage Contract, Slice of Life, Pop culture references

Chapter below cut...

“It worries me how often that devil summons you,” Evie heard her tentmate softly say while he stared at the pages of the book in his hand.

After hours of travelling, the group had opted to set up a temporary camp. Instead of dragging everything out, she and Astarion had decided to simply share a tent for the ‘night.’ Just two bedrolls…and the wall of pillows between them.

Evie watched the motes of dim light floating above them. “But what do I even do about it? I think upsetting him wouldn’t exactly be smart. We don’t want to needlessly make an enemy of him and he has provided us with good info.”

Astarion scoffed and dropped the book aside, turning to look at her fully. “Does he have nothing better to do, though?” he complained, his face twisting into a sneer.

She could only shrug. Though they spoke fairly frequently, she couldn’t pretend to know how Raphael spent the rest of his time. “I do kinda wonder if he may be planning something else. Like, this is a lot of his time he seems to be putting into us.”

His expression turned dubious. “You. That he is putting into you, dearest. The devil isn’t whisking away anyone else in the dead of night.”

Honestly…it made her feel better that no-one else was in the same position she was. With Raphael focusing on her, that kept them safer. Fewer temptations, fewer distractions. “I tried confronting him a while back about why he’s so keen on me specifically, and all he said was that my soul has more unique qualities that attract devils. He’s been pushy about the ‘Hero of Baldur’s Gate’ thing. Maybe it’s an investment thing? He’s invested in the outcome and so certain that he’ll get my soul eventually that he’s taken it upon himself to micromanage us?”

“Plausible as any other theory at the moment, I suppose,” Astarion sighed, tracing the frayed decorative stitching on one of the pillows. “You said he’s had one of his…minions spying on us?”

“Korilla? Yeah. She seems okay. Minus the…spying…part.” She remembered the time she first met Korilla when she and Lae’zel confronted her near their camp. She had occasionally seen the warlock since during her time spent with Raphael.

He sat up straighter and looked down his nose at her. “Evie, darling, just because someone is nice to you, doesn’t mean you should trust them.” She couldn’t help how her eyes narrowed on him, the weight of his very recent confession to her that he had spent most of the time he’d known her trying to manipulate her still stung. “Yes, I am a phenomenal example! Oh, don’t give me that look! I’m no devil, at least. Trusting me at all was still stupid and you shouldn’t keep making exceptions.”

She knew this and she knew she didn’t always have the best judgment of character or ability to read others. It meant others did take advantage of her. But she still preferred to err on the side of seeing the best in people. After all, Astarion had told her and promised to do better and focus on introspection and growth. Would he have gotten to that point if she hadn’t shown him that trust and compassion, that not all the world was bleak?

“He offered to make me a warlock,” she shared. “I told him I wasn’t interested, but he must have told her to try to convince me. She said I was dumb if I didn’t accept.”

“Then that goes doubly so!” he hissed, leaning close. In a blink, though, his face turned imploring. “You’re not considering it, are you? I hope you aren’t for my sake, dear. We can find better ways to deal with Cazador than accepting a deal from - honest to Hells - one of the few people who could turn out to be worse. There’s no telling how he could really be if he ever owns you. We want our freedom when we are through with this mess, after all.”

“I guess she’s been secretly helping us out quite a bit at his direction. Maybe we’re just that awful at all this,” she stifled a slightly worried giggle. Korilla had been saving her hide specifically a lot, as it turned out. Astarion would have an absolute conniption if he discovered she was leaving out supper portions for the warlock whenever she cooked if she sensed her nearby.

Chewing her lip, her thumb soothed over the tattooed symbol above her opposite wrist.

Astarion shook his head. “Don’t let them get in your head. I know I can be critical at times…but you have improved immensely. It’s only in their interests that you doubt yourself.”

Her eyes drifted around the bare tent. “It hasn’t been all bad. Sometimes it’s even…enjoyable.” It made her feel guilty just how much she enjoyed talking with Raphael at times. He was prone to dramatics but that was part of his charm - much like the elf sitting across from her. “Though I’m starting to feel like I’m having routine meetings with my manager, which I think messes with my head more than anything else.”

“See, that is precisely what worries me!” he bristled again. “He’s just hoping to butter you up so you’ll sign one of his contracts!”

Evie gripped one of the pillows, contemplating throwing it at him. “I’m not going to! And I’m well aware that is most likely his goal.”

Astarion shrank back. He looked like there was something else he wanted to say but he chewed on it for a bit. When he finally spoke, his words were uncertain and vague, not aided any by the gesture he made before recrossing his arms, “He’s not making you…you know?”

“Making me what?” She didn’t catch his meaning.

Astarion sighed with his exasperation. “Fuck him! He’s not using you for sex, is he?”

She blinked in disbelief. “No.”

Sure, the devil used language meant to entice - quite similarly to how Astarion used to speak to her, actually - but he had never propositioned her like that. To her knowledge. Maybe Astarion was seeing similarities to their relationship and that was adding to his worries?

He held his hands up defensively. “I had to be sure. You did say the time with him was enjoyable. And with us not… I’m not sure I could blame you if you were - he has a certain allure to him. Maybe he likes the whole sexy fox thing.”

The sound she made was a choked mash of a laugh and a scoff.

“So what do you do during these visits?” he asked.

She thought for a moment. “Aside from all the garbage going on- Talk about nerdy shit.”

“You’re joking,” he stated dryly.

“Politics, music, art, theater, books, history, food…” Was that really that weird? “He’s really knowledgeable and seems to just like the conversation.”

“You’re making friends with the devil, Evie!” he exclaimed, running his hands down his face.

“Is that a bad thing?” Before he could answer, she added, “Do you remember when we were on the docks and you said that being friends with a vampire was weird?”

“I think there’s a bit of a difference between a vampire and a devil, my dear,” he argued.

“Why?” Everyone treated the answer like it was super obvious. It reminded her of the scaretales of her religious upbringing that she had long since abandoned. ‘Devils are evil’ held no real meaning to her anymore. Raphael held himself to a rather strict code of conduct - “Hell has its laws,” he was fond of saying - which was more than could be said of many people she knew who claimed to be better.

He tsk’d in disapproval. “Well, for one, the moment he decides you’re no longer of any use to him - or worse, if he believes you’ve slighted him in some way or broken some rule - he is significantly more capable of harming you. Devils see everyone as tools to use at their own convenience and nothing else. I, for one, would prefer we stayed clear of him but…” the energy behind his words died off. He couldn’t forget that there was something they did need Raphael’s help for.

“Speaking of-” Evie broached softly. “I think…you should be the one to approach him about your scars, Asta. If I bring it up, I kinda worry any deal he’d come up with might be weighted differently than if you were the one to ask him.” She earnestly added, “Not that I don’t wanna help or anything, because I’ll totally talk to him for you if you want me to!”

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “No, I agree. You especially should be wary of making any deals with him and this is my burden to bear. The less you’re involved in that part, the better.”

A companionable silence lulled between them.

But she was no closer to understanding her questions.

Evie flopped down on her back with a yawn and stretched her arms over her head.

“Do you think…I could have a bit of a late night snack?”

She cracked her eyes open to see crimson pleading down at her. “Toss me a ration pack from my bag?”

He bolted upright and grabbed for her bag, rooting through it until he found what she asked for. She caught and tore it open, flopping her arm over the pillows between them.

Thank-you for reading!

#baldur's gate 3 raphael #bg3 Raphael #Raphael x OC #raphael x tav #raphael the cambion #baldur's gate 3 fanfic #baldur's gate 3 raphael fanfic #Raphael #Plots & Prosody #mrfancyfoot

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enquiringangel · 6 months

Text

Thank you @marypsue for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just 16 currently. I orphaned a bunch a while back.

2. What’s your total word count?

72,719.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently The Lost Boys has me in a gorilla grip, but I have written for Naruto and also some other fandoms for works now deleted/orphaned like Devil May Cry, Black Butler and oldest of all, Harry Potter.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos.

6. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, more often than not. Sometimes I feel like I reply excessively. Almost like the reverse of someone who doesn’t want to bother a creator by commenting on their stuff, haha.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Phantasmagoria.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have not, but I tend to write short things and stick to my own corner so that probably helps.

9. Do you write smut?

I’m an ace person who finds sex absurd and vaguely comical 80% of the time so I always feel like a fraud, but yes.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have done! I enjoy crossovers, especially when they really work and the worlds blend together seamlessly.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, though recently I had a case where someone uploaded a fic with the same premise as mine right after I uploaded mine. It had some oddly similar scenes and phrases scattered throughout, and it updated mere hours after I did. It wasn’t out and out plagiarism and could have been a coincidence, so I overlooked it aside from an author’s note on my next update saying to cut that shit out. So far it seems to have worked.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep. A few into Russian and one in Chinese. It’s always deeply flattering to be asked.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope and I think I would be terrible to work with, honestly. I am that guy in the group project who drives everyone nuts by not meeting deadlines.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

…I have to pick? This is not fair. Each fandom has one.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I am optimistic I will finish all of them…eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

This is oddly specific but I enjoy writing macabre stuff and have somewhat black humour (comes from working in a vet-adjacent profession) and I think that can come across in some of my stuff. I feel like I am good with characterisation. Also, dialogue I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being confident in my own writing. Not leaving characters floating in white voids. Abusing italics, em-dashes and semicolons. PLOT.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I tend to avoid this unless the POV character doesn’t know what’s being said. But I see no point in having “Dialogue in another language [brackets or italics explaining what’s just been said].”

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP.

20. Favourite fanfic you’ve ever written?

Probably and the moon was hungry out of my Naruto stuff.

But currently obsessed with my Lost Boys w.i.ps.

Tagging @themarginalthinker @makkoskafanfic and @drowningindango

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autumnslance · 1 year

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☠: something i found challenging

Is this another “writer’s choice”? If so I’ma talk about…

“This Home Wrested Forth”

Which is currently found only in the Blackest Night fanzine for Dark Knights; I won’t be able to post it publicly for another month or so when the “leftover” sales go up. Preorders are out though—digital’s available, and the printed copies are on their way—and I really wanna talk about it!

Cuz it was rough! I’ve long had an idea/headcanon of Sidurgu and Alaqa as clanmates, survivors of the same massacre, but who went on very different paths due to that horrific time. I wanted them to meet, and for the trio of conjuration girls to hang out.

We’d also had some discussions in one of my Discord channels about the weirdness of some characters and players in insisting that all Ala Mhigans or other refugees “should go ‘home’” and the complications of that word. Cuz while they were victims of war and upheaval and had fled initially, not everyone would want to upend their lives again 20 years later to return to a rebuilding nation. In 20 years families blended, children were born, and so on. Gundobald says it well too, in one of the side quests from Rhalgr’s Reach, to lead back some of the Ala Mhigans who do want to return, old and young alike. But Little Ala Mhigo remains, and so does the Old Bear, as that’s home now for many of those people.

So that was how the general idea of how the plot clicked into place; 2 refugees who grew up in foreign lands and adopted them as their own, dealing with an issue of the Ala Mhigans in the Twelveswood, and an idea I’d also long had about Hearers that the Stormblood Leatherworking quests touched on.

OK. So how to tell that story? Especially since this was my first fanzine project, and while the draft deadlines didn’t bother me, the word count did.

We had a word limit; it’s necessary in a compilation like this, with so many other great stories and comics and artwork. So there was a lot I had to leave out. I didn’t get as much of the teen girls and their friendship and learning as I wanted, or interactions between them and Alaqa and Sid. Or even as many Sid and Alaqa interacts, though they have the most in the story as they reconnect and deal with the situation in Quarrymill.

Point of view ended up difficult; even in Close 3rd Person I was having trouble finding where to start, Eventually somehow I hit on telling the story in Second Person; it’s a controversial POV for sure, one I’ve used only a few times, but it felt “right” for this particular story. And honestly, given the Dark Knight storyline, also makes sense, even if Sidurgu doesn’t have an Esteem equivalent. But the journal and general quest style makes it fit well.

Once I had that, it was a matter of hitting very specific plot beats; I took some inspiration from the Lodestone official stories, where they also have to tell an entire story in a tight word limit, and used that as a framework for the style, and what to leave in and what to leave out.

The story definitely wants to be longer, and I may revisit that notion someday. If I do, it may go back to 3rd person, maybe even shift POVs between characters, I don’t know. But in the end, I am pleased with how tightly written the phrasing and descriptions are, telling what needs to be, still getting some poetic turns in there, some cute moments between the characters. On rereading my digital copy now, months later, I like the story again; I was really frustrated and despairing at its quality when I handed it in, but now I think it’s all right!

And the mods of the @drkzine have been great at managing this project, and have overall made my first ever fanzine project a blast to work on, so I may have to look out for more to join in the future.

#final fantasy xiv #Lyn Writing #Lyn Meta #Dark Knight #Blackest Night #fanzine #fanfiction #writing

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ravixen · 2 years

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EEEEP AND FOR THE FIC WRITER ASK GAME !!! i apologize in advance if you’ve already answered some of these and i know i gave a lot bc there’s some good questions on there :O so u can choose whichever ones u want to answer :D

3, 18, 20/21 (whichever one or both), 28, 30, 39, and 44 💓

// fic writer ask game

hi, alex!! i'm drawing with friends so i will do the handwritten ask after, but here are the ones you asked for. there's too many good questions on this list! under the read more because this one's long:

3 - Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

tbh, not any that i can think of right now!! but there was one haikyuu blog (now deactivated) that really pushed me to reboot this blog in 2021 with a focus on reactions rather than fics.

18 - Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

ah...yeah, that one ot12 (ot11 now lmfao) exo series called we're the lucky ones that also included four OCs. i have so many snippets for scenes, character dynamics, love lines, multi-layer antagonists, rising stakes, etc. but the project is just too big for me. another one is a re-write of my namjoon fic frontlines, sidelines, headlines because i wrote as a self-indulgent thing at 16 years old. re-reading it made me realize that i had so many plot holes and no world building. another project that's too big.

20 - What’s your (21 - least) favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

not really part of the writing process, but the moment when you've been away from your writing for a while and then read it again! i guess this can be considered the editing process if you haven't posted yet. i reread my writing (bad habit of editing while writing) and get tired of it, so stepping back and seeing it with fresh eyes is so satisfying. least favorite...can i say the entire writing part LOL maybe when you have a scene in mind but have no idea how to get there!!

28 - How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

i don't :) fic writing is for me alone, so i do it whenever i feel like. no pressure to update or deadlines, except for that stressful fiction writing class that shattered my confidence. as for negative comments...yeah, i've gotten some. i get heated lol and then distract myself and ignore them. readers come and go - i gotta put myself first if i want to keep writing.

30 - Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

not kpop, sorry lol i have 4 writing blogs:

Someone in front of him whistles lowly. "Damn, you look like shit," the newcomer says, knocking the toes of his shoes with theirs.

Brick raises his head and squints into the sun, barely making out Buttercup's grimace once she catches sight of his expression. "Yeah?" he manages as she slides her shades onto her hair. "Thanks, I tried my best to look like you."

"Seems like you still got some bite, at least." She leans down to get a closer look, taking the chewed lollipop stick out of her mouth and pointing it towards his nose. "So who peed on your pancakes this morning?"

"Christ, you're where Boomer got that from?"

39 - answered here!

44 - Rant about something writing related.

to all the readers: pls interact!! does this count? i feel like i'm beating a dead horse since the topic's been discussed so much many times already, but i'm so ??? because like. sometimes my posts will get almost 100 likes, but so few reblogs? which means, if you're not online when i post or if you don't check my writing tag frequently, it's gone. reblogging helps so much with visibility by sharing my work with others throughout the day or at different times. this when paired with a lack of feedback overall, whether that be in the tags/reblogs, comments, or my ask box...i've been refocusing on my anime writing for feedback lol i have lots of creative outlets, so i can move wherever: writing for various fandoms, drawing, and singing.

#katalk #woozisnoots.reply

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wine4thewin · 2 years

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Any writing tips for a n00b?

Oh, that’s a loaded question! 😙

I’ve been writing for the better part of roughly 20 years, on and off. Writing takes time and practice and I can say that what I write this year is different from what I wrote the year before or even the year before that. Writing evolves the more you do it and no one wants to hear that LOL

Writing advice is tough, because many writers are different in their methods. Not all methods work for everyone. Fifteen years ago, I would start at page one without a single clue as to the ending…and guess what? In those cases, I never reached the end, even if I had a great starting chapter 😆 I have drawers full of things I wrote when I was young and never finished.

Some people are able to write in perfect order. Some people make an outline with 500 words for each chapter just to get started. My own preference is to envision a beginning, a crucial turning point in the middle, and where I expect the characters to end. Who the characters are and what quirks make them stand out. How will they change? What changes them, for better or worse? I write scenes out of order, scenes I’m absolutely excited about or passionate about. Eventually, the more I write, the more I ‘see’ happening. I started connecting the scenes. I generally create an actual chapter outline once I’m 5,000-10,000 words deep into a story 😅 the outline always moves…it is never set in stone. Ever.

Generic tips with my obnoxious long-winded additions below the cut:

*Don’t get hung up on word count. It’s unnecessary stress. Words should be organic, not forced.

*Don’t write a chapter without a point. Something MUST happen in each chapter. There must be something to push the story forward.

*Write whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about order, cut and paste exists for a reason! I never write in order.

*Write down ideas as they come to you! Anytime, anywhere. Use your phone notepad app. Revisit them later when you have time.

*Think about what you like about your favorite author’s style. This is helpful for new writers as they find their “voice”.

*This is more advanced, but think about how your characters sound! Don’t have two characters say things the exact same way. Like, maybe there’s a character who loves to say ‘bingo’ when they’re excited or a character who never says much at all. Maybe one character swears often, but another never does. You want people to hear characters and know the difference between them. I’ve read traditionally published books that I tossed because I couldn’t tell a single difference between any of the characters aside from their names. In fact, I don’t read as much as I used to, because I became such a fucking stooge when editing my own original fiction & fanfics. While typos and grammar don’t bother me, it’s hard for me to leave plot editor mode 🤣

*If you want to be aggressive, give yourself deadlines. Make yourself write every day, even if it’s just 200 words.

*If you don’t love something anymore, put it away. Don’t force yourself. Inspiration may come back. It might not. Move on and use new inspiration on a new project! I have so many original stories that are chilling for a rainy day when I want to pick them back up again.

*Most importantly, write what YOU want to read, not what you think others want. I once was penpals with a writer I respected and she confided she would not be writing anymore for the series that caught my attention, because, as she said “it wasn’t mainstream enough to catch traditional publishers & traditional readers eyes”. I found that to be saddening, because I knew she loved the dark fantasy world she created, but felt writing solely for other people would earn her better money which is true, but would she love writing as much? Sometimes, the answer is no.

Good luck in your journey writing! Just sit down and write! You might not get anywhere at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Obviously, different things may work for you than for me. Everyone is creative in different ways! 🥰

#asks #writing #writing tips #evilpeaches ao3 random writing tips

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astoldbygingersnaps · 2 years

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5, 7, 17, 18, 19

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

i don't think so? i've actually never heard of such a thing, tbh.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

i love when i get comments from people and it's very clear that they've put a lot of time and effort into thinking about what i've written. like whenever people point out lines/scenes they found meaningful or talk about interpretations that even i never would have imagined it just Rules.

i also just. love characters. a lot a lot a lot. i love fleshing them out and giving them real hopes and dreams and flaws and struggles. I LOVE IT.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

i honestly can't think of anything that's important in my writing that doesn't make it into the fics themselves. idk i just don't write like that.

wait i lied. danzo and hiruzen Definitely did it back when they were starfleet cadets. next!

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

for the most part, i tend to be like. very specific and perhaps kind of dogmatic as a writer in that i have a ~*~vision~*~ which very quickly becomes The Only Way Anything Can Ever Go, Ever, which means that not a lot tends to change when i go from outlining a fic to producing the finished project.

that said, a HUGE change that came about recently was blue's injury in the third jurassic world au chapter, because that was straight up never supposed to happen. originally, fugaku was just going to roll up to be like 'quit being in love with this raptor weirdo' and itachi was going to be like >:( but go along with it bc logically he knows he really doesn't have a choice and then eventually he and shisui would start dating (an absolutely Terrible way to summarize things but yk)

but as i was working on the chapter (and hating it l o l) i realized that something was missing--something that was big and dramatic enough that it would actually force a change in their situation, and would demonstrate a) how much itachi had grown since the beginning of the story and b) how Not Okay such a shift was to fugaku, which would then justify him putting his foot down and essentially trying to job-reassign his son out of getting a boyfriend. and i'm very glad i added that bit in, because i think it ended bringing a lot more weight to itachi and shisui's relationship which just. would not have been there otherwise and very much needed to be.

of course, adding this MASSIVE plot point ended up absolutely ballooning the word count of the chapter, which quickly led me to realize that there was no way in hell i could have this be a three chapter fic without compromising the quality of story i wanted to tell, which is why jurassic world au is now a four-parter. whoops!

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

this is the worst question ever but here we go.

basically i started writing when i was twelve and i wrote a novel that was actually just rip-off inuyasha fanfiction, which then progressed into me eventually creating more OCs that were actually, y'know, Original. but then once i hit high school Death Note Happened (rip mellomatt gone but not forgotten <3) which caused me to pivot into fanfic exclusively and fifteen years later here i still am!

in terms of bumps, i've talked about it before but there was a period of, like, four/five-ish years where i just. stopped writing entirely and couldn't finish a fucking thing until Star Trek AU Happened and now i've written more in the last two and a half years than i probably have in the last decade so. go figure.

alas, i suspect that my fanfic/writing days are coming to a close once i've finished up my current projects for a variety of reasons. for one, i do feel like i'm starting to grow out of fandom as a whole. and honestly, i'm starting to get tired of the pressure to produce content and feeling like i'm not a fast enough or popular enough writer. so, it's probably time to think about bowing out while i still have positive feelings for the work i AM producing. but it's been a great journey and i've met a lot of really wonderful kind people along the way, so i definitely can't complain.

#asks and memes #nonbinarymerbabe

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