End-of-Year Appreciation Post

Let's see if I can get this done before midnight - I have 36 minutes! But I really wanted to get this posted, so... time for a speedrun! This post won't nearly be able to say everything I wanna say, so, first and foremost: I love and appreciate all of my mutuals and people I've gotten to talk to this year, so thanks for coming to my corner of the internet and gifting me a little (or a lot - because lord knows I don't shut up if someone mentions one of my favourite fandoms) of your time!

With that being said, time for some special thanks!

@wheresmybloodynauglamir The encyclopedia of Star Trek and one of my closest friends on this hellsite. Thanks so much for literally everything you've done for me this year and all the lovely conversations. Let's have a lot more of those next year! Live long and prosper <3

@littlemervie Thank you for indulging my very nichest of niche interests like The Little Prince and for always sending me a kind message when I least expected it.

@fluffle-system My favourite bnuy in the whole world and a fellow FNAF enjoyer. I hope I always get to be the auxiliary to your detective (yes, this is actually sort of an accurate aitiology of how my url came to be - if you know you know). Let's solve more mysteries and riddles together.

@supermarine-silvally You may have only very recently stumbled into my corner of the internet but I adore every conversation we've had and I hope that many more are to come. If I had to make a choice to pass on my OCs to anyone, the great Donna Aurelia would be yours, and that's a great honor, so I hope you know how much I appreciate our conversations!

@carriagelamp We didn't talk too much this year and that's frankly a crime, but I still stare lovingly at every piece of art you've created for me, with me, or simply for the fandoms I'm in - and the ones for fandoms I don't know I stare at from afar. Just letting you know that I smile everytime I see you on my dash :)

@faerieroyal Dolly my beloved! I hereby sincerely apologize for all the times I've hopped into our Discord chat to ramble about my OCs or whine about my hour-long adventures of looking for faceclaims and/or names, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. The amount of positivity and support you bring into my life is immesurable and I absolutely adore you for supporting each of my OCs, even if you don't know their fandom, and how you let me introduce you to my newest hyperfixations when the brainrot strikes. - To many more rambling sessions!

@come-along-pond who allowed me to participate in the fyeahonepieceocs blog and gave me a platform to launch my own little project of a OP resources blog from. - Through anon hate and plot bunnies, you've helped me and supported me through so much and I'm really, really thankful for that!

@oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations and everyone else in the Discord Server, thank you so much for suffering through my countless pings and appearing when I need you most to offer your advice and help. You've saved many of my OCs in the past and I'm certain you'll keep doing so in the future.

@starcrossedjedis @bravelittleflower and @ninjasawakenedmystar aka the angels who made Cora's creation possible - and by extention then also that of Lily and La Donna! Thanks so much, my fellow One Piece girlies!

@thehedgehogat221b who has been keeping me tethered to the A-Team fandom, making sure that I never forget how happy it makes me, and who always has time to spare to hear me ramble about Kit Kelley and her conman boyfriend

@daughterofhecata @bistdueinbaum and the entire Die Drei ??? fandom. You brought me onto Tumblr and though I may not be as active in the fandom anymore, Tumblr still considers my blog a Die Drei ??? blog and I don't plan on forgetting my roots anytime soon, so I promise you more detective content in the year 2024 - featuring my beloved Jelena, of course! My token adopted side character... Maybe I'll also hop into the Tatort fandom, who knows? Also, can we make Rosenheim Cops a fandom? I feel kinda lonely and silly over here lol

@claramurphyqueenoffandoms the VoicePlay supporter. Man, was I happy to find someone who loves these dorks as much as I do. We haven't talked much, but thanks so much for enabling the hyperfixation that triggered my character development into a happier person and letting me relive those memories.

@cody-helix02 @thoughpoppiesblow @footprintsinthesxnd @kafka-ohdear and the entire Band of Brothers fandom. You've been so nice to me from day one when I first stumbled into the fandom and you still are incredibly lovely people! I'd like to give something back, so, if you ever need any research done for your fic and you can't find anything, let me know and I'll traverse my resources and my university's library to see what I can find <3 Also, I shall present to you more Anita content in the future! There's one fic featuring Luz and one featuring Bull curently in my projects list!

@maxwellshimbo @asaturnerofficial and all the other lurkers and people I constantly find in my notes - you always brighten my day. I'll have had an awful no good time but then I see you and I go: "Ah yes, my friends are still here" and I feel so much better!

Thanks to much to everyone on and off the list, and have a very lovely new year!

you know you're fucked when you find someone's pimple on the nose cute (it is really cute and popable and kissable) you know you're fucked when clumsy slow ballroom dancing is probably all it takes to make you both happy, you know you're fucked when you got your old cool professor not only to advise your thesis on tumblr fan culture but she says she loved learning about the hellsite from you in return, you know you're fucked when your long distance best friend writes I miss you and all you want is talk to her but days have been crazy lately and you miss her too but all you can do is missed calls, you know you're fucked when your roomie says it's all ending in the next 3 months—no more college, we graduate,I leave the people I love so dearly behind in one sense and I never get to knock on their door and hug them whenever I want and cuddle them while we listen to our favourite playlists— and oh you're so fucked because your mum shared a video of how she's cleaning your room and spreading a new bedsheet because you're coming home for christmas, you know you're fucked that the transitory period of 20s is just settling in and oh you're so fucked because the world is always ending and so is this year (2023 is not a real anyway psst right?), but the world is always ending but you're fucked because with these people who lovingly fuck you over it always ends in love and that's the most reassuring and daunting feeling ever

lovely rhi, with every follower milestone you hit i'm more and more proud of you, and delighted that so many people are getting to enjoy your wonderful writing - you're such a gift to this fandom 💕💖

for the sleepover could i please request love confession headcanons for michael kinsella?

oh mindi, you never fail to bring a smile to my face. you are so genuinely kind, lovely, and incredible, and i can say with utmost confidence that i am so happy to have you in my life. i love and appreciate you, and feel so incredibly lucky to have experienced this hellsite at the same time as you <3

these love confessions are fuelled and inspired by my love for you.

check out my 500 sleepover!

fluff headcanons | love confessions with michael kinsella

michael doesn't really know how to confess his love for you. he conveys it without realising through his actions, such as a cup of tea lovingly prepared each morning, the way he squeezes your hand gently whenever he gets the chance, pouring you a stiff one on the hard days.

you're the first to tell him you love him. it comes (a little) out of nowhere, while you're driving and his hand's on your lap. the motorway is dark, starry dublin sky looking down on the both of you. you sneak a peek at him, elbow resting on the door, gazing out the window. and the words are said instinctively. "i love 'ya, michael."

he lifts his hand off his cheek to look at you, taking his hand off your lap to rest it in his. his eyes are wide, mouth parted, a little flushed almost despite the cool air, and he doesn't know where to look. you bite your smile, trying not to show him that his lack of response is making your stomach drop and your head go hot, but it's out. it's out in the open, and nothing can take that away.

it takes michael a few weeks before he can act. it's a long time. he knows it, you know it. but he grapples with that internal turmoil. notions of am i good enough for them? and fuck, how do i put this in words? thrash around in his head. he's never really been good at emotion, let alone putting stuff into words, but he sure as hell is gonna try for you.

he confesses his love for you in his living room, where you're both sat on the couch, mindless tv program flashing away. you've got a glass of wine in your hand, absorbed in the screen, in the action, and you catch him staring at you. it's a little like that moment in the car. he's trying to get the words out, shy and averting his gaze several times in doing so, chuckling softly as you turn your head to look him in the eyes.

is it possible that you are intimidating the michael kinsella? yeah. yeah you are.

you do what you do best and crack a joke, hearing that joyous laugh of his echo throughout the room, a laugh so deep and genuine it comes from his chest, not just one of those half-smiles he does to be polite.

he's bent over, clutching his stomach, hand coming up to brush down his moustache, and he says it. "i love 'ya."

he's in disbelief. oh my god. his brow furrows for a few moments, making sure that you both experienced that, that it wasn't just a dream in passing.

he says it again. "i love 'ya, pet. always have."

and all of a sudden, michael's just found his new favourite thing to say to you.

Notice Me (Jake Seresin x Robert Floyd)

Hello Hello my loves! Now while yes, in the past few months i have been very active on this beautiful hellsite, i have not written anything in ages. I wrote this because i wanted something angsty yet giddy in my life and its the first time in ages I've had the spare time to write something. Anyway, i hope you guys enjoy and as always... be kind <3

Warnings: brief parental homophobia, parental death, some angst

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It started on the carrier after they returned from the mission. Bob was celebrating with Payback and Fanboy when Jake walked over to him. Hangman was the last person Bob had expected a congratulations from, yet here he was.

“Well, Bob, I suppose I owe you a job well done,” Jake approached shyly to say. Jake Seresin had never been this nervous. Hell, he barely ever felt nervous. He knew he was the best at everything he did, so why was Bob of all people getting him this flustered?

“I suppose you do, Hangman. Seeing as I did do a well-done job,” Bob groaned at himself internally and immediately looked down to his feet to avoid the other mans eyes. It sucked that his type was cocky, arrogant pilots. He also had tendency to go for blondes. “I just mean that-”

“I know what you mean,” Jake was smirking at Bob now. “You did a good job, and you know you did a good job. Its okay Baby, you can toot your own horn occasionally.”

“Bagman, I think you do enough tooting for all of us.” God, could he embarrass himself anymore?! To Bobs surprise Jake didn’t start poking fun at him but started laughing. A genuine laugh because he thought Bob had purposely made the joke.

“Yeah Baby, I suppose you’re right. I do toot enough for all of us,” the taller man gazed lovingly upon Bob. How could someone this shy do such a confidence driven job like this? Before he had a chance to ask, he was pulled away by other people offering their congratulations to him.

The two men didn’t get another chance until late that night. Bob had stepped outside for a cigarette, a habit he was trying to kick. On his way out he saw Jake standing by the edge of the ship looking out onto the water.

“Well Hangman, I never thought the day would come when you aren’t talking someone's ear off,” Bob walked up to stand beside him and saw that he was crying. “Oh, I'm sorry Jake, I can leave and come back later if you want.” He felt bad for walking in on something private.

“No Bob it's okay, stay. I could use the company right now.” Jake stood up straighter and turned around so his body was no longer facing the water, but now facing the ship. “What are you doing out here anyway Baby, isn’t it past your curfew?”

Bob walked closer to stand beside Jake and pulled out the pack of cigarettes and lighter. “Yeah Bagman, don’t tell my nana or she’ll never let us have a sleepover again.” He pulled out a smoke and then offered the pack, “Want one?”

“My god Baby, out past curfew and smoking?! You better not let Cyclone catch you, he might tell your mommy on you!” Hangman jibed as he took one from the carton Bob offered. He had never really been a fan of the things but for some reason being next to Bob, he wanted a reason to stay out here and talk with him.

“I don’t know how much luck he’ll have getting ‘hold of her,” Bob started as he lit the smoke and inhaled, “her and my dad died when I was little. So, my nana raised me in North Carolina. I enlisted as soon as I could because I knew I always wanted to follow in their footsteps.” Bob had never been this open with anyone on any of his teams. The closest he’s ever gotten to someone would be Phoenix, whom he’d just met but he felt drawn to her to her like a moth to light.

“Oh, shit Bob, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to pry,” Hangman felt awful. Bob of all people deserved to have nice parents. He was like the first signs of stars on a dark night, he made even the most bleak situations seem better.

“Ah it’s okay Hangman, shit happens. We can’t always get what we want sometimes.” He repeated the mantra his nana told him when he was younger and cried on Mothers Day and Fathers Day. As much as he loved her, she was a tough old bird who had no time for tears.

Jake turned to look at Bob. He felt so bad for his friend right now. In a moment of vulnerability, Jake decided to share too. “Jacob. My given name is Jacob. My parents were big into the Bible and we went to church every Sunday, that's part of the deal in Texas. You live here, and you go to church. So, when my dad caught me holding hands with one of the boys in the marching band, they did not like it one bit. Even after I tried to explain to them that I like girls and boys, the only thing they could focus on was the boys.”  Only a few people knew about Jake being bi. Javy knew because they were best friends, Phoenix knew because he came out to her after she came out to him, and Rooster knew because of their special arrangement a few years prior.

Bob turned to look at Jake now. He felt bad that Jake had to go though that from his family. No one should ever be made to feel lesser by the people who are supposed to love you. “Gosh Jake, that must have been so hard.” Without thinking Bob closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Jake’s middle. Slowly Jake returned the hug and buried his face in Bobs hair. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable or comforted in years. He missed the feeling of being protected instead of always having to be the protector.

They stood in that embrace for a long while before Hangman finally took a step back to release himself from the hug. He gave his shoulders a little shake as if to get back into the emotional armour he had briefly removed to talk to Bob. “What about you Bobby? Any hard talk like that you had to have with your nana?”

“Nah. When I told her I was gay she looked at me and said, “Robert you would have surprised me more if you came home with a pregnant girlfriend.” Safe to say, she was okay with it from the start. Until I joined the Navy. She was really worried about me getting bullied out here. Turns out I get picked on for being quiet, ain’t that right Bagman?” The space between them had immediately gotten lighter as they both laugh.

“Yeah, I guess I was a bit of a dick to you, wasn’t I?”

“A bit?” Bob asked with raised eyebrows.

“Okay okay, I was a major dick to you Bobby. I’m sorry.” His apology was genuine, he actually felt bad. The more he learned about Bob, the cooler he seemed. Also the new knowledge that he was gay sparked something in Jake. A new sort of interest in Bob. An interest for someone hes never had before and he couldn’t quite place the feeling.

“Wow, look at the time. We really should be getting back inside now,” Bob remarked as he looked at his watch. In truth, he didn’t want to go back inside, but he knew the longer he stood  here talking  with Hangman the less he would be able to hold back from launching himself at the other man, with consent of course.

The two men slowly started walking back to their sleeping quarters while talking about miniscule things until they reached their doors. They both idle by the handles, not wanting to separate and have their night end.

“Well Bobby, I suppose I should let the hero of the day get some rest. He worked hard today,” Jake said as he shifted from foot to foot.

“I don’t know that I’m the hero,” Bob responded shyly as a blush crept from his cheeks to his neck.

“Wow Bob, I mean I knew you had a big ego but wow, I was talking about myself. Since I saved Maverick and Rooster, you know actual hero work, but no, no, you’re the hero.” Hangman joked as he took half a step towards Bob.

“Well, I was told today that I can toot my own horn once in a while, so until tomorrow I will toot away,” Bob replied as he shifted to look at Jake. Before he could stop himself, he leaned over and give him a kiss on the cheek before saying “goodnight, Jacob,” and entering his bunk.  

Hangman stood in the hallway, shocked at Bobs brazen action. Never in a million years would he have thought Bob would do something like that. He also didn’t expect to like it that much. Jake was pulled from his thoughts as Rooster stuck his head out from his room.

“Hey, what are you doing right now? Are you busy?” Rooster asked

“No I was just about to go to bed. Why, what’s up?”

“Oh nothing I was just wondering if you, maybe, wanted to bunk with me tonight?”

Jake understood the context in which Bradley was asking. He was asking if Jake wanted to hook up quietly and then leave before anyone else woke up. Any other time, he probably would have said yes and been content to go back to the arrangement they typically kept whenever they were stationed together. But this time something felt off. He didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t want to wake up next to him, someone who would be embarrassed to be seen with him.

“Jake? You okay over there?” Bradley asked. He looked at Jake almost expectantly from his doorway.

“Sorry man, not tonight. I’m tired. You know, big day and all,” he told him.  Jake entered his room and locked the door before Bradley had a chance to say anything else. He stripped off his clothes and climbed into bed, as the weight and commotion of the day finally settled on him. As he drifted off, Jake subconsciously started rubbing his cheek, the very one that Bob kissed him goodnight on. That was the most peaceful sleep Jacob Seresin had in weeks.

Hi! I recently found your blog, and I just wanted to say that I adore your commentary on all things Yu-Gi-Oh. So much. Words cannot express it. Partly because your insights and takes are just so good and also partly because it’s so incredibly refreshing to see someone who has good things to say in this fandom instead of focusing only on negatives and/or fighting about so many simplistic things.

(It’s also great to see that I’m not the only one borderline obsessed with/constantly analyzing these card game shows and their characters, but that’s an entirely different subject…)

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful commentary, and keep up the great work! You’re legit the only reason I even came back to this hellsite after over almost two years away from it, after accidentally stumbling across one of your posts through Google. Seriously. I can’t stand Tumblr, but I might just start a YGO blog here for the sole sake of spam-hearting/reblogging your posts.

PS: And also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how fricking refreshing it is to find someone who actually gets the characters. So thank you so much for that, too. Like, I mean, specifically Jaden/Judai and Yusei. Seriously, the amount of time I’ve gone on and on about how both these boys are actually great and valid and not at all like what some parts of this fandom would have you think only to try to be shut down with a dime-a-dozen, repetitive excuse that I’ve outargued countless times and yet — sorry, it’s just… it’s great to see that someone actually more or less see where I’m coming from. I’ll stop there, because if I start on a rant about how and why both Judai/Jaden and Yusei are surprisingly really deep characters I’ll be here forever. I would very, very much love to read more of your essays on these blorbos, but, of course, no rush.

Oh my gosh thank you so much for the kind words! ❤️

It legitimately means to world to me to see people enjoy and resonate with my funny little musings. While I started this blog as a place to just record/organize my hyperfixation essay nonsense, a nonzero part of it was to put my thoughts out there and hope it reached an audience other than my non-yugioh obsessed friends who lovingly put up with me spamming our discord with no context analysis.

One of my fondest loves of the internet is picking apart and examining stories that maybe weren't intended to looked with such scrutiny. Especially ones that get a bed rap for being "bad writing" or "dumb". Flawless cut diamonds, while pretty, aren't the only gemstones with facets.

I also made this blog as a place where I can wax poetic bullshit to my hearts content.

But yeah, the internet can be a pretty rancid place, and I really get bummed out seeing such a strong focus on beating down stories rather than lifting them up. I wanted my blog to be a safe place to just discuss anything and apply depth and positivity to whatever took my fancy. And what is absolutely rotting my brain right now is these silly card game boys. Hearing that other people not only read, but enjoy my bizarre combo of pretentious lit. student, heart-of-gold dumb-of-ass, and astonishingly attention-deficient, makes me know I'm doing the right thing, and that other people need that kind of space too.

(I swear, I didn't mean to write this entire response without mentioning the blorbos of the hour themselves. Rest assured, I will be posting a ton more thoughts on them, and your ask has only bolstered my resolve to do so. They are. So good. Always feel free to barge into my house and just start infodumping about the yugioh kiddos. I care them. And I care that other people care them. <3)

happiest of birthdays to my dearest soulmate <3

the one and only ENNA !!! @koishua

i cant believe it’s been well over a year (almost two maybe???? over two??? idk i have no sense of time whatsoever idk when i joined this hellsite) that we’ve been each other’s tumblr soulmates. when i say that you’re special, god do i mean it. because you are so beyond special to me. you are someone who i hold so dearly in my heart and who is so precious in my eyes. i mean it and believe it when i say i genuinely think we could be the loveliest of friends irl, though we’re already quite lovely. i’m really just rambling here and there is no eloquent order to the words im saying, i just love you lots. i love you because you’re so interesting and cool and talented and kind. but also because you are so human. it’s so beautiful. you are an anxious mess like me (i say that lovingly i swear), you get angry and upset, you have ardent desires be it big or small. and you love. you love beautiful things, lovely things, silly things, meaningful things, or maybe meaningless things in the eyes of the world. you love to help and you love passion and cool architecture and cute plants. you love your siblings and your friends and sweet animals. you want a cat and a small island for your birthday and you love cool art and pretty songs. you’re working a ton of cool jobs and you love that but it makes you tired and you take really pretty pictures of the cities you visit. you’re good at graphic design and making people feel things. i know that you’re scared to be an adult (i am too), but i think that we’ll be okay. i love you a whole ton and i hope i don’t sound delusional or like idk parasocial LOL but i just love you as a human in such a genuine way and i think you're the kind of person to know what i mean when i say that. i just think your existence is a very beautiful one <333

as for your gift ! i cant truly give it to you because. duh lol. but there’s lots of tiny islands at my family cabin and when i went this past summer i decided that this little island would be enna island !!! ik it’s very, very small and it’s all the way across the ocean from you but! i wanted to set it aside for you <333

also I FORGOT BUT THERES A DIFFERENT TINY ISLAND THAT I LIKE FOR YOU MORE BUT I DONT HAVE THOSE PICS HDHDJ okay i’ll give you that tiny island later lol

Hc:

1 you have a history of u finished fanfic scattered on at least 2 websites

You have the kind of insomnia where you fall asleep ok but keep waking up

You have either the patience or the joints of someone twice your age

I’ve only ever used ao3, but my drafts in my notes app is a special hell of my own choosing (it’s not a graveyard as much as it’s an ICU) seeing them all laid out too lol what are these titles jesus y’all help me

Waking up 3-4 times a night is normal for me, which is why it might look like I’m always on this hellsite (she said lovingly) lol but I promise I’m not

Let’s pretend you didn’t just hear my joints cracking from whenever you are and instead say I have the patience of Saint Augustine

APPRECIATION POST !!

in another words, lina loves her friends a little too much & doesn’t necessarily know the right means of expressing it </3

cass [ @misutv ] — uh im in a sappy mood so if you’re not rockin with the sap please scroll! epic, okay. hi... lol hey. thanks for pushing me to do this. now i know you know that i love you, with my chest! from when we first started talking to all these months later, that feeling hasn’t changed (even though you took two months ALLEGEDLY to warm up). i think our friendship is unique in the sense that i really never expect anything from you, when we’re on the phone or texting it feels natural and when i think of you my first thought is that i want whats best for you. isn’t that crazy? i don’t think i say it enough, but i care a lot about you—about all of you, whatever your feeling at any given moment or whatever project you chose to pursue at the time just know i’m there to back it and never expect anything from you, besides just that—you. i hope this is making some sense, knowing me this might be a bit of a mess, a ramble even. still, i think your exceptional—inside out, i’m really glad to be your best friend even if its just through some silly little app. i appreciate everything you do for me, even if i’m shit at saying so, because its baffling that you feel so inclined to dedicate some time in your day to me—i could melt i think. fair warning, i’m gonna crush your lungs at the airport. all my love loser >:)

hesther [ @hesthermay ] — how many months has it been now? hesther, you are such a solid constant in my life and i literally cannot thank you enough. from our strangely comparative music taste to the oldest sister bonding, i really feel like your the one person i can really resonate with that i haven’t met in person (yet). even if it’s weird to say, i love reading your marvel drabbles and personal pieces because it’s oddly intimate in personal in a way that implies a lot of trust. i know i can rely on you if i need anything, and vice versa. every week i pull you into my world, and the next week you pull me into yours—it’s an entertaining constant that remains me i’m not alone in my silly little struggles. i’m really glad i met you, and i’m so grateful i get to call you my friends (and i get butterflies when you call me butterfly). not to be gross but please don’t stop being you, it makes me smile, thanks hes <3 love you. 

selene [ @hajigumi ] — hey whore (lovingly). we’re coming onto two months now and it doesn’t really feel like it but i guess i’ll take it. honestly, it feels like we’ve known each other for a really long time—maybe its the same timezone thing but you just feel so familiar. i get a little skippy when you tell me that i’m stuck with you because i really love being your friend, its such a comforting experience and i’ve grown such a fondness for you i don’t think will fade. you suck, frankly, for being so welcoming. i love hearing about your day, boring or not—and i’m grateful your always willing to be about mine. despite what anyone says, your a great cat mom and an even better friend... giggles... love you mwah.  

ly [ @kyotarou ] — i almost typed out the govt name help... babe i love you so much. it’s impressive how you put your heart into everything you do, and it’s really shocking to me when you yourself don’t realize just how much of yourself you put into the things you do. just today when you were making those little polaroids, the dedication that you had to finish them and package them all pretty was truly heartwarming. that, among many other things—including your work which is always quality despite the seemingly mass production of it. i know your younger than me, but i aspire to be like you in that respect. your wit never ceases to amaze me and i think you were one of the first people i felt comfortable thirsting with because our taste is so similar (daishou fucker solidarity i think). i have such a strong appreciation for you as a friend and i hope it stays like that for a long time. 

angela [ @oikirstein ] — i think i’m gonna take a step in the right direction and try to be civil (kidding) but bestie when you’re sending audio messages of you scream sobbing about manhwa i can’t help but giggle. something that drew me into you was your humor, because honestly, i couldn’t help but feel really comfortable with you? even one on one, its just easy to talk with you because theres always so much on your mind—so much so that it’d be impossible to be bored. NO YOU KNOW WHAT SIDETRACKING BECAUSE YOU JUST CALLED ME THE EVIL TWIN UM. angela please never change, i don’t think i could bare it. i tolerate (love) you... ig....stay swag. 

violetta [ @hikariakaashi ] — once again i am tempted to pull out the govt name HELP. that’s just how comfortable we are with each other, i think. you were one of the first people to interact with me on hq tumblr, so far back that you probably remember my red/black alyssa layout lol—but thats really shocking to me because our friendship has grown so much sense then. it makes me giggle to think that i can just text you about stupid stuff and you’d tolerate it. you’re another person i feel as though i know in real life, its just so easy talking to each other, and my only hope is that we get even closer. mwah mwah!

rissie [ @levbug ] —rissie rissie rissie! i don’t care how much we slander and tease you, i love you to bits. please because you’re so funny and easy to talk to i feel like we’re besties. i could listen to you ramble for like an hour i just wanna hug you bae, thank you for being the only armin lover in the room—it makes me feel very seen. we gotta stick together >:)

rheya [ @diorpieck ] — hey rheya twirls hair...i really have a lot to thank you for because without hq radio i wouldn’t have met over half the people on this list and it baffles me how close we’ve become since. you are such a natural leader and i feel so honored i get to talk to you (the fact that you handle me is just as surprising). thanks for looking out for me and everyone else, because i don’t think we’d be where we are without you. thank you :>

jade [ @iwaizoom ] — jade i honestly do not know how to say this but apparently i’ve followed you since like last july (this is news to me too) and i’ll spare you the speech—but in short there was some fan behavior. i truly love talking to you, its so smooth and your energy is beyond welcoming. laughing at stupid shit with you makes me giggle like crazy and i’m so glad i get to call you a friend. stay in school mwah!

issy [ @cafemiya ] — hey pissie <3 i don’t know what it is but your presence is so comforting i love just talking to you, being around you, interacting—it feels like spring if that makes sense. you’ve written a lot of my comfort fics on this hellsite and for that i am permanently indebted to you. please consider this the start of my reparations and just know your existence in and of itself makes me all bubbly (lovingly) KISS! 

nayru [ @luvoratomi ] — i feel like we’ve known each other forever even though it’s only been a few months. still, you’re so consistent which is something i really admire about you, your messages to ask me about my day or hanging out in the discord is so grounding because i know i can count on you—which sounds silly but just know despite the teasing i love you a lot <3

cal [ @lovekags ] — don’t tell anyone but you’re my favorite epic gamer cal, i know we just started getting close but you’re so incredibly cool and talking to you feels so natural! your raw skill in so many different areas is baffling to me and makes me all blushy lol, thanks for rockin with me and i can’t wait to see how that powerpoint turns out >:)!!  

Shads, I platonically adore you and all the lovely art that you give us and will probably never unfollow this blog until the day I die. I say this first because I need it to be clear that the next paragraph is 100% lighthearted jest.

I feel like it should be said that debating whether Human!Tom and Human!Jerry are tops or bottoms is the reason Tumblr is so lovingly referred to as a 'hellsite'. Where else am I gonna find high tier sh*tpost content like this.

gnsdkfnd HA 8D this place is absolute hell, so why talk about normal things??? why even worry about it anymore

but jeez goodness that’s really sweet of you, thank you<3<3

hello i am first-only but tumblr rawdogged my main during purge times so this is technically a side blog even tho i cant access the main :) anyway, a quick barrage of fandom related get-to-know-you asks because thats why we're here: what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart? what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)? do you still ship your first fandom ship? whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess? (ok that last one might be thematic lkfhjs)

hi!! <3

first of all, have an F in the chat for your blog. this our home truly deserves the title of hellsite.

thanks for all the questions! (this is going to be long, rambly, and slightly horny)

what would you say is your all time otp that has a special place in your heart?

all time otp? not sure i'm ready for that kind of commitment. currently eating my brain? jonelias from the magnus archives.

it's one of those unhealthy and fucked up beyond measure ships, rife with power dynamics and manipulation (you know, the good shit), and it's got so much potential (potential that was utterly wasted by canon, mind you). if you're familiar with hannibal, it's a very similar dynamic to hannigram (and by 'very similar' i mean the venn diagram is a fucking circle except the 'feeding on people' part is not quite so literal).

elias is a manipulative bastard who's pulling all the strings but jon is practically a demigod and that makes for such an interesting power dynamic! and not to be an eliasfucker on main, but (spoiler) i would absolutely, willingly let him use me to bring about the apocalypse. rip to jon but i'm different. couple that with the fact that i have a huge voice kink and both jon and elias have excellent voices, and you've got yourself a ship i'll be screaming about for quite some time.

what ship/character was the focus of the best (or most special to you) fic youve ever read (and which is that 👀)?

i have read so many good fics but the one that comes to mind is find your way by moonlight by blackkat (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737710/chapters/26449809)

it's a naruto vampire au (which might not sound like High Literature but hey, we're here to have a fun time, not a pretentious time). it's fairly obito-centric, has some excellent world-building, some very good smut, the perfect mix of fluff and angst, and it's funny. (it's also abandoned, which i'm sad about but i'll get over it)

one of the main reasons why i like it though, is that it has kept me reading. what you need to know about me is that i have the attention span of a drunk toddler. one shots are my friend and even though i pick up 1000 page doorstoppers on the regular, i'm a slow reader and i genuinely dread reading fic that's longer than maybe 30k. so for me to devour this 135k monstrosity in a weekend is some black magic fuckery and i don't know how i did it but i'm glad i did.

do you still ship your first fandom ship?

yes.

i don't even know what my first fandom was, so i'm going to go with the first piece of media i remember getting well and truly obsessed with: pirates of the caribbean. first ship (of many) was elizabeth swann/jack sparrow. i was like twelve and i didn't ship it in the go-look-up-fic-and-art fandom sense (i barely even knew what fandom was back then) but i did ship it in the fantasize-about-it-an-unhealthy-amount sense. i like it to this day and that one scene in dead man's chest where she kisses him to distract him from being handcuffed to the mast so he can't escape the kraken, after which he smirks and lovingly hisses "pirate" Awakened something in me that has yet to go to sleep. in conclusion, it is the year of our lord 2021 and i'm still potc trash, a franchise that hasn't been good in 14 years.

whats the hardest tumblr has screwed up your experience - of fandom or just.. the site itself being a Mess?

i'm pretty sure being on tumblr has given me irreparable brain damage. apart from discourse, my behated, i think the sheer awareness of fandom as a thing has soured some experiences. what i mean is that fandom is an option, not a necessity. you can watch a movie, have fun for 2h, and then never think about it again. you can just casually like things without posting about them all day every day. i guess i'm trying to remind myself of that.

other than that, the worst (best?) thing tumblr did to my fandom experience is give me a massive inferiority complex because everyone is on here writing eloquent literature analysis essays about themes and symbolism whereas i'm just like: there are characters... some of them are hot... some of them are important...

(tagging you just in case @first-only)

Hi! I hope you are doing well ^^ Hmmm... not gonna be very original with this one so I hope no one asked it before 🤔 What about KMK with monster trio? (Also I just unfollowed you on accident bc Tumblr is still working wonderfully -_-) Take care! ^^ ~quartermera

Hiya! happy to see you in here. That’s okay, Tumblr has unfollowed my moots SO often, its a hellsite [lovingly] and a hellsite [derogatory].

Curious as to what your answers would be! 

I’m gonna say marry Zoro, he was my very first OP crush, so while I don’t actively love him as much anymore, he still has a special place in my heart. 

Kiss Luffy, just because he’s adorable and I love him loads.  Kill Sanji. Mostly because of what Oda has done to him. See it as a mercy kill. 

Thank you for stopping by dear! <3 

Okay, let's have 3 salty opinions!

You are all a bunch of enablers, I hope you guys know that.

Okay but first of all these are my opinions I can be totally wrong, it can hurt sensitivities and I hope you guys don’t take it personally. It’s something I have seen through years of being in this hellsite.

For example one of my first rants that I wanted to address is this.. hate towards Rhaegar. I mean don’t get me wrong the dude deserves to be called a cheater because… Well, he cheated on his wife but how many times have I seen people blaming him for Elia’s death? how many times people label him as some sort of fugly monster and the dude only cheated on his wife. I’m not gonna say that’s cool because it is not, nor do I defend nor condone such act but why is no one screaming profanities and calling bag of shit to Robert Baratheon? who constantly cheated on Cersei, beat the shit out of her, even raped her and you all are like Bobby B is a victim, he has done nothing wrong ever in his life. Me with red flags pointing at the direction of what I just said. I mean hate or dislike a character all you want, go ahead and have fun but please, do it so while you also apply some logic to it. Listen, I don’t judge you for having a problematic fave but at least acknowledge the things he has done ( me staring Lovingly at Daario Naharis and his monster-like behavior: I love you, my stupid angry psychopath child ) And this just goes for all genders. Yes, that includes both of you: Catelyn Tully & Lysa Tully.  going back to my previous comment, people naming Rhaegar fuck boy Og while the real OG is elsewhere. *points at the boar impaling a drunk ass king* But hey, you are right in being mad at Rhaegar. Hell, he was so dumb, so fucking dumb he didn’t think shit through like he should and that’s what cost him his life and everyone else. I know I might sound like I am justifying him but I am not, believe me, the most important reason why I like Rhaegar is that my friend plays him beautifully. she gives him a depth that could make Martin weep but truly is just tiresome just people posting over and over again how much Rhaegar Targaryen is as bad as the Doom of Valyria and waiting to get some approval because you dislike him and you call him names. I neam weird flex but okay. If you truly dislike him good for you but just don’t join the new campaign just to get some likes your way, do it because you have good motives and reasons not because someone told you that you should and that also applies to all characters and fandoms.

Secondly: I’m not here to babysit anyone. Rules exist for a reason guys and in them, many roleplayers me included warn others about what we write and what you might encounter. I know I know, sometimes we follow so many blogs but like I for instance always read peoples rules before following them back or start following because I want a safe space for me and I wanna know if this person can get along with me and if their muse is easy to write with. Listen, if you want a safe space you must creat it no one here will do so for you. I have trigger warnings but I cannot nor I will not thousand of tags for other people. I will add those who I  believe might hurt other people especially when I write a character like Ashara Dayne, but it is really damn hard to try to please everyone and people will always be mad at you for not tagging something. So… I say — don’t follow me please HARD BLOCK ME because I’ll keep doing my bullshit. 

Thirdly: When are we all going to acknowledge that there’s a pretty biased agenda when it comes to male and female muses? When are all we going to accept that many female muses have to go through hell and beyond because people think that person only wants to ship ( and listen, what is wrong with that, huh? ) And talking about ships. what is wrong with you guys? since when are we politizing people’s writings? No, never mind do not answer that question, I forgot we have all been doing it for years. Dark topics are taboo and no one can write anything from that view because again some idiot will claim that you fetishize or undermine a victim and glorified their abuser. When you are just writing not trying to get hard/wet. Listen, the community needs to stop or just meditate and think for a moment that it is just FICTIONAL, that none of the stuff written will ever hurt you and if it does, create your safe space use that block button, mute people.

Les Amis as Les Mis Fans on Tumblr

Tag yourself

Jehan Prouvaire: Moodboards, pastels, and he once dragged a troll so hard they deleted. Jehan is the absolute Queen of angsty ficlets, because he has a way with words and absolutely no shame in being melodramatic. He may also have written some rare pair smut, to great public acclaim. He is fanon!Montparnasse's number one supporter, and does not care what canon has to say about it.

Feuilly: Inktober is his kingdom, redbubble and koffee his warships, and caffeine is his trusty squire. Feuilly is a prolific artist, and nobody can explain how such quality and quantity can co-exist, especially because, apparently, he works and studies too. One would think he'd be at least short-tempered from exhaustion, but no: he is kind and reasonable and so so so generous with his time and talent. He stays in his lane, stays wholesome. What an absolute cookie of a person. We all know one or three wonderful people like this so let us take a moment to marvel at how lucky we are!

Courfeyrac: this ray of sunshine firmly believes that there is no way to do fandom wrong. His blog is a mix of musical, brick, fandom AUs and various film adaptations where everybody is emphatically welcome. He has become a fan famous name, mainly because he posts consistently and is always so nice, and has a bit of everything, so who wouldn't want to follow. He is beloved by the fandom, and in turn loves everybody so much.

Bahorel: He hates this hellsite. Heracle, he hates this blue dumpster so much. When will he be free? He will delete himself. He will end the madness and free us all. He will fight @staff with his BARE HANDS... just as soon as he publishes these 10k words of Valjean and Cosette fluff

Combeferre: He wants everybody to share into the brilliant mess of intertextuality that is the brick. He writes post upon posts of hugosian exegesis and he will answer endless asks on historical context with detail and accuracy (and linked sources, because that is what the age of information is for). His favourite character is Sister Simplice, but his longest post is a brilliant exploration of the figure of Javert in the brick (and in context) and how he interacts with the central themes of the novel (and is, of course, not a villain).

Bossuet: Bossuet does not have many followers, probably because he posts erratically, and also once he list his url so now he has had to start from scratch. He does not care, however. He's just here for the party and the puns - and for the Joly's of the world, of course.

Joly: 'my ask is always open! If you just need to talk or vent or anything please let me know!' Everything Joly rebolgs is carefully tagged and lovingly commented - would never want anyone to feel underappreciated. He is that mightiest of fans, the feedback provider: no fic will go uncommented, no art un-gushed over under his watch! Joly is a sweetheart, be like Joly <3

Enjolras: The book has a Message and he will fight you if you disregard it. Fiction is a powerful tool for pedagogy and he will exploit it to the full. He does not care if it is cheesy. Modern AUs, meta rants and catchy slogans interspersed with legitimate calls for online and irl action. He may secretly have to really bite his lip about the de-politization in some parts of fanon, but has not lashed out at anyone (yet)

Grantaire: everybody's favourite garbage-man posts 70 posts in half and hour once every five months. Most of those posts are memes, of which about 23% are homemade. He has one unfinished 200k word fic. The last three updates where June 2017, April 2017, December 2015. It is unclear whether he is still in the fandom, however, given that for the last three months he has been posting exclusively Cars 2 material on his blog, which, despite this, is still called 'Vicky and the Miserables'

I did art today

I'm not an artist by any stretch of the imagination, I took 2 drawing and painting classes in high school and a lot of the works that came out of it will never see the light of day (there are 2 in particular in the attic, that have been lovingly named the "Grudge Children" and the subsequent "Grudge Parents", that I don't know why they weren't burned as soon as they crossed the threshold of this house). I've always liked the idea of art and drawing my original characters from stories I write, or more recently, d&d campaigns I play, but I can't put an original idea to paper (in drawing form at least) to save my life.

Last night I got a text message from one of my best friends, @asexualanders, who wanted to show me a sketch she had done of a very impactful moment from d&d on Friday. It was the first romantic relationship development we've experienced in our almost 3 years of playing. Her changeling boy, Jules, kissed his longtime crush, Zeke, (@madadam426) due to a heated game of Never Have I Ever, and she sent me the sketch she drew of that kiss. I made the comment that I'd like to see it colored, and she brushed me off, saying it probably wouldn't happen since it was just a really rough sketch and she's not a huge fan of cleaning up lines and coloring her art (except for a few rare exceptions that I've seen). So I made her an offer: if she emailed me the sketch once she got to a point where she was happy with it, I'd clean up the lines and color the piece.

Long story short, I did it and found that I really enjoy lining and coloring an existing sketch. Between the 2 of us, we make one halfway decent artist I think.

(click the art for HQ, tumblr is a hellsite that sucks the quality from everything it touches)

The CDC told me you deserved some nice asks so I came here to say I’m very grateful I found you on this hellsite :) I lovingly look upon ur username in my activity. I’m happy to see ur posts all the time. I hope you have an uneventful 2022 frien, have a happy new year’s eve (hearts)

wahhhh tysm <3 <3 <3 im sure i gayze with love on ur username too!!! I hope nothing happens in ur 2022 except happy fun things BUT THATS IT (cant beg it). Happy new year xxx

You have been on tumblr forever- what is the dumbest thing you've ever seen?

True, I’ve been on what I lovingly call “The Hellsite” for nearly 8 years now (and I’m proud to say my main, @all-we-can-be, is only the second username I’ve ever gone by. I deleted my original account to see who’d follow me to a new one and who were just ghost/spam blogs)…

The dumbest thing I’ve ever seen… that’s a tough one…

OK, fun story under the cut (because it’s a bit long)

Alright, you’ll enjoy this:

There was this user I ended up blocking who decided I owed her because she’d been an avid reader of “Project: Echo”. She got pissed when I didn’t follow her back on FF and read her stuff, as though her reading PE had been a great favor to me- and I had no idea who this girl was! She was one of what back then was over 75,000 reads of PE (that number is counting reads via individual chapters, not as 1 read = 1 reader).

Oh, and she’d send me *pointers* on how to “better manage your page”, listing things she found offensive. These were always bullshit. 

She’d tell me things like “You shouldn’t reblog anything “Agents of SHIELD” because how they depict someone who sold their soul as a hero instead of the filth they are” and she also demanded I stop reblogging any article or GIF including evolution because “creationism is the only truth and you are just spreading satan’s lies to innocent followers” (and she wasn’t being funny- she 100% believed this stuff).

Now, I’m not unreasonable. I’ll tag anything if it makes people uncomfortable, we’re all here to enjoy ourselves. I never really tagged anything before that, but I started tagging AoS and ‘evolution’ if I reblogged anything (which, it’s not like I reblog evolution stuff every day, maybe 3 articles the entire 8 years i’ve been on tumblr?). This girl’s stance though was that “Tagging isn’t good enough because I shouldn’t have to go out of my way and install tag blocker because you can’t show common courtesy”.

Yeah, I blocked her pretty damn quickly.

She was later chased off tumblr entirely because of a series of homophobic posts she reblogged saying the LGBT community should be rounded up and segregated from the rest of society in “special reserved areas”. 

I now make a point to reblog pro-LGBT stuff to chase off freaks like that from my page. I am a strong supporter of LGBT rights, and that fact that someone like her was allowed to follow me was a huge wake-up call that I wasn’t making one of my closest held beliefs immediately apparent.

All of this went down while I was writing PE3, and one day I’ll get around to posting a special standalone bonus story (the mythical PE4- PE as a trilogy is wholly complete, no loose ends whatsoever. I decided to make PE4 as a surprise bonus story for the fans of my PE trilogy). That story will confirm what I only had time to start hinting at in PE3: I made her favorite character bisexual and am giving him a male love interest.

… a lot of what I write I do out of spite.