fuches the cooler fuches

!!!!!!!!!!! spoilers ahead for the book, miniseries, n 2017 + 2019 movies !!!!

so okay ive read the book through twice now (skipped That One Scene . i might have torn the pages out lolsies um anyway) but ill b honest im bad at retainin info BUT ANYWAY

so the 1990 miniseries adaptation . three hours long . tim curry pennywise . he was honestly so fun tbh . like not scary in the slightest but Fun !!! seth green was richie tozier which i ??? n the worst part is like . hes My richie . when i think of richie tozier i think of Him /neg . anyway .

2017 movie . two hours long . not really as faithful as the miniseries i dont htink but oh well . bill skarsgard pennywise . TERRIFYIN but only in one scene LLLLL . finn wolfhard who plays mike wheeler in st is richie tozier in this n i picture him as richies voice . like seth green appearance wise but finn wolfhard voice wise .

2019 movie . sequel to 2017 . three hours . even Less faithful . james mcavoy was adult bill denbrough which was fun . bill hader was adult richie tozier . :]

okay so actual plot . clown guy pennywise is actually an ancient bein that comes every 27 in the town of derry, maine to kill children !!! seven kids known as the losers club stop him once at 13, then come back at 40 to defeat him one final time .

theres . theres so much w the characters . okay .

bill denbrough . georgie denbroughs older brother . hes the one that makes georgie the paper boat . hes the one who encouraged georgie to play (bill was sick so he didnt go) . he blames himself when georgie goes missin . bill has a stutter n the bowers gang bully him for it . he has a romance w beverly (i dont see it personally) . in the books hes said to b taller than stan but shorter than mike so i assume hes the second tallest . definition of Just Some Guy .

eddie kaspbrak . eddie is bills best friend . theyve been friends for a while before the events of the book . eddie is asthmatic (not really, its a placebo . hes not sick but his mother convinced him he is . oh also every one of these characters either dont have parents or have shitty ones) n thats why the bowers gang targets him . i cant remember how he was described exactly in the books, but im fairly certain he was the shortest . the miniseries has him as blond but the movies have him as brunet so i Dont Know which one is right but in my head hes blond .

richie tozier . trashmouth !!! richie is stans best friend, but knows bill n eddie . cant remember how . anyway . richie has glasses n i think thats why hes targeted (hes also gay but obvi not out . its the 50s in the book n miniseries . in the movies its the 80s i think . i digress) by the bowers gang ?? anyway . richies parents pop up briefly in the books but they kinda . dont do much JDSKLLJFDSK . im p sure richie is shorter than stan so i have the heights so far as mike > bill > stan > richie . anyway richie has a major crush on eddie that lasts for 27 years ANYWAYYYYYY

beverly marsh . bev is the token girl ! she gets bullied for bein a slut (despite not bein one !!!) ig . anyway shes kinda everyones best friend after meetin them but shes bill n bens love interests . in the book there r some really sweet moments between her n richie !! i like their friendship a lot . she has a really bad relationship w her dad in every version, n her mom is dead . shes the only character ever .

ben hanscom . ben is the new kid ! he moves in w his cousins n aunt ! his died died in a war i think ? anyway ! he gets really interested in derry history ! the bowers target him for bein new n fat n henry bowers actually almost carves his name into bens stomach w a knife before ben gets away . ben is also a poet ! he wrote a poem for bev ! "your hair is winter fire // january embers // my heart burns there, too" . ben ends up seein a mummy (hes afraid of mummies + pennywise turns into peoples greatest fears) ! fun !

mike hanlon . mike is the homeschooled kid !! hes like . heavily targeted by the bowers gang . i mean all of the losers are but ESPECIALLY mike . the bowers gang r mega fuckin racist . uhhh mike is the actual historian i think ? i know ben was the historian in the movies but mike is the one w the photo album . anyway mikes parents burned to death ! he lives on a farm w his granddad ! he meets the losers last bc they save him from the bowers gang by throwin rocks at them !!! mike sees a bird that hes afraid of !!! hes prob the most important character when theyre adults but im talkin ab them as teens rn . anyway .

stanley uris ! my blorbo ! richie's best friend ! stan is jewish n thats why the bowers gang hate him blah blah blah anyway he also birdwatches !!! he was the last one to see IT over the summer . i cant remember what form he saw IT in, but he got locked in a standpipe n had to get himself out by recitin bird names ! stan is also a boy scout n a baseball player !!! OH hes terrified of a lady w a flute in a paintin in the movies !!! also in the movies he almost gets his face ripped off by her when IT takes her form !!! in the miniseries, he gets seperated from the losers while in the sewers n almost gets literally murdered by henry bowers !

bowers gang ! patrick hockstetter, vic criss, n belch huggins r all led by henry bowers !!! theyre horrible !!! i dont wanna talk about them !!!!

as adults time . acutally . yknow what . this is too long already i cant do this again . i havent even described some important events . OH WELL

i can’t read all of this in one sitting but i will Come Back To It this is genuinely so cool /gen

barry kills innocent people 

Happiest Place On Earth - Andrés Muschietti

Note: Hello there! I’m finally posting here again ♥ I hope you like it and if you want something new feel free to request it or go to my masterlist! Love you guys. 

Ooooh and I’m already thinking of a part two for this one. (This is not the one I was thinking of posting yet, I thought of this one on Monday or something like that)

Requested? Yes

Requests:  Anonymous: can you do more Andy Muschietti stuff? I've kinda developed a crush on him and I read your headcanons. please! thanks. |||   credulouskhaleesi: So 1st and most importantly, I give you absolutely nooo pressure on starting (you let those creative juices stew and create magic when you're ready) but I just realized I never asked you to tag me when you do create the wonderful fanfic featuring the awe-inspiring, Argentinian, aesthetically-perfect, Andrés (Alliteration inspiration?)! I would owe you my 2nd born if u remembered me (sorry, I'm pretty found of my 1st)🤷🏾‍♀️😁❤ T.I.A!

WARNINGS: Toxic relationship, aggressive ex boyfriend, violence, suicide talk (it appears like in one little part but i thought I needed to tw it)

Disneyland is supposed to be the happiest place on earth and yet here you are, listening to your boyfriend Kyle talking shit about how you treat him. And to make things worse, his "friend" Rebekah is getting out of one of the attractions. Yay. "Kylee!" The girls voice is loud and all you wanna do is get out of there. "Bekah! How are you?" Yeah, right. As if you didn't know they fucked. You knew they were together yesterday, you could feel her perfume in his clothes. "Your girl is soooo muzzy." 'God, just get me out of here's + "Okay, rule number one!" The older man started to list, everyone stopped talking and looked at him."Don't lose the kids. Yes, Hader and Chastain are part of the kids." "Hey!" Both said together and then laughed their ass off. "That's what I mean." He was serious, almost as if he was a horror movie crazy doctor or something. "Rule number two: don't do anything stupid." "That's for you." The Wolfhard kid elbowed Hader. "It's not." The older man that played his character put his tongue out like a little kid would do. "It's for both of you, actually." "Aww c'mon man." "Third rule is..." He waited for everyone to look at him. "If you need anything you can ask me or Barbara. Any questions?" Hader put his hand up and everybody groaned. "Yeah, dad, can we have fun?" The comedian asked playfully. "Just don't embarrass yourself or anyone here, ok? Go." As soon as the group started walking towards the park, the blonde woman looked at her brother. "You don't need to act so mad all the time you know?" " I don't know what you're talking about. Let's go before they do something stupid." The man ran to  little Jackson to help him find the rides he wanted to go to, the first rule was already broken. + Waiting to get your food, you were constantly trying to block all the conversation your boyfriend and his "friend" were having. "We should go to the Prince Charming Carrousel." Kyle eventually looked at you to see if you were paying attention, returning to look at her lovingly. "Everything for you, honey." He had said. "Everything for you, honey." You said mocking him. "What?" Kyle looked at you right away. "Huh? Oh nothing, nothing." You faked smile, hoping he wouldn't grab your arm this time, hoping you wouldn't have bruises to cover up. "That's what I thought." The way he looked at you made you shiver. "Can we please go see Belle? Or Ariel? I really want to take some pics with them." You said eating your churros. Some people passed by looking at your back and arms that still had some bruises from last time, God you hated that. "Excuse me, ma'am." A soft voice called you. "I'm lost, can you tell me where the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train is?" You got down to talk with the kid, trying to remember the exact place. "JACKSON!" You heard a man. "Jeez, kid! Don't do that to me." "It's okay, she'll help us, Andy!" Jackson said to the man. You could feel Kyle's eyes burning in your back, but hey, it's just a kid. You gave him the directions to the attraction. "Thank you, ma'am." The little kid said when you got up. He was really sweet. "Thank you." The tall man looked at you and you could see he had some curiosity in his stare. "Sorry for yelling earlier, I'm with a bunch of kids here, it drives me mad." "Not a problem, sir." You laughed. "Let's go, y/n." Kyle grabbed your right arm. You stayed quiet for a moment to stop yourself from shivering. "Okay, honey." "Is that a problem?" The man, Andy, said. "I'm her boyfriend. Stop trying to fuck her." 'oh no' you thought 'its happening again' "Kyle, I was just giving the kid some information, it's nothing." After you said that the only thing you felt was a slap in your face. "Don't talk like that to me, you whore. I'm sick of it." He was complaining that people were looking at you the whole week. It was a matter of time this would happen. "Let her go." Andy said, ready to fight him. Kyle was still holding your arm tightly. Jackson was scared, holding the blonde woman's hand, both starring at you three. Rebekah was sitting on a bench, eating your churros and watching the little show. "Make me." The blonde woman gave Jackson to a redhead woman that went to talk to her, they seemed like good friends. She then walked your way. Andy punched your boyfriend's face, he let you go and the blonde hugged you and got you closer to her friend and the kid. It all happened so fast, they were punching each other, Kyle was surprisingly losing, and then a security guard came running. Andy explained the situation while holding Kyle on the ground. "I'll take it from here." He got Kyle and started walking. "And what about him?" He started yelling, trying to get away from him. "He didn't do anything... As far as I care you tripped and fell on the ground." The guard explained. "Y/n! You come right here." You tried to go, but the blonde was still holding you in place. "I have to go." "You don't have to." She said. "Not anymore." "You don't understand... He'll get mad and then beat me up again." This came out between sobs. "He said that if I ever leave him he'll kill himself!" "He won't, honey." The redhead said softly. Her hand on your shoulder. You were crying. Hard and painfully. Your knees on the ground, the blonde still hugging you, and you hold onto her tightly. "Everything's gonna be okay." "Barb." Andy said, helping you both get up. They talked a little bit, but you didn't understand Spanish. She was still hugging you, saying everything is going to be okay and that you're free now, Andy went to buy some cold water for you. "I didn't got the chance to know you better. My name's Barbara, you can call me Barb if you want to." Barbara smiled. "I'm y/n, you can call me y/n/n." You smiled back. People like Barbara and Andy were rare in your experience, normally people would let Kyle beat you and even blame you for that. "Thank you for helping me. I really appreciate that." "Oh honey, that's the least we could do. I'm so sad that he was able to slap you tho." "Not the first time, not the first place..." A sigh escaped your lips. "Here." Andy gave you the water bottle. "Put it on your cheek." "Thanks." He scared you a little. He was handsome, but really tall. And he also looked like a crazy doctor. "Not for that, miss." He nodded to a group of mostly men that joined the redhead woman and then looked at you again. "You should come with us to the attractions. That way no one will bother you and... You can actually have fun." "That would be nice." "Great, you will love them." He gave you his hand to help you up again. "These two are clowns. They are really idiots." He pointed at the redhead and a goofy looking man. "She's Jessica and he's Bill, you can call him Hader. The others are Isaiah, Andy, James, the other James you can call Ransone, Bill and Jay." He pointed at them while saying the names. "The kids are Finn, Wyatt, Chosen, Sophia, Jack, Jeremy, Jaeden and  Jackson." "It's a pleasure to know you all." You had stopped crying and were drying your tears. The rest of your day was incredible. They made you laugh and were super friendly to you. Hader was the funniest guy you ever met. When you went to get lunch, Andrés - that was his real name - paid your lunch, he insisted. After the fireworks, everyone headed to the parking lot. "Hey, message me when you get home okay?" Andrés said after stopping by your car. You gave him your phone so he could put his number in it. "I'll probably put you in our group chat." "That's really nice of you, Muschietti." "Drive safely, honey!" Barbara said opening up her window. "You too!" You got inside your car. That really was the happiest place on earth.

TAGS:  credulouskhaleesi

If you want to be tagged in something pls tell me, I’ll gladly tag you ♥

Caught Between the Two of You | Richie Tozier x Female Reader

A/N: I can only apologize again for not finishing this earlier. Nevertheless, I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter and where this story is going. I haven’t planned it out completely, but I think this miniseries is coming to an end soon-ish (maybe two more chapters, give or take).

After that, I’d be more than willing to get into some Richie Tozier (or even Bill Hader) oneshots if anyone’s up for that? Drop me a request if you’d like!

(Btw, dumblr didn’t really let me edit this baby, I hope it shows up the way it’s supposed to?? Please, let me know if the paragraphs are off)

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Female Reader (Pennywise/Female Reader)

Summary: You own the Derry Town House and are caught off guard by a group of friends who check-in. You get closer than anticipated with one of them.

Warnings: explicit language, smut, oral sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: 4,322 (sorry, guys)

For your convenience, here’s Chapter One, Chapter Two, and Chapter Three. If you’d rather read it on AO3, go here.

   Chapter Four

It felt like your entire body had gone taut. How was this possible? Maybe Pennywise had found a way to fully conceal himself from you? And now he was playing with you again. Playing an evil, irreverent game that you would think beneath him.

“Don’t question this. I’m not one of his apparitions and we don’t have a lot of time so you need to concentrate,” your mother said, urgency in her soft voice. She looked just as beautiful as you remembered her to be. The pain of missing her struck you fiercely, ripping open wounds that had healed a long, long time ago.

“He will be here any minute. You must listen closely to what I have to say.” You didn’t think that Richie would believe his eyes or ears if he would see this. “I’m not talking about him,” she clarified, “But I’m glad your heart has found its way to someone else. Away from danger.”

“You know about Pennywise?” you asked, ignoring the fact that she could read your mind. She nodded curtly. “It’s my fault the group of friends, your friends, have fought him when they were children.” A chill danced down your spine and you blinked. “How so?” 

“It was my task to maintain the balance. It was me who should have kept the Eater of Worlds in check,” she explained, silver lining her eyes, “But I was too busy cherishing my life. That wonderful, mundane life. You will not make the same mistake. You will restore pride to our lineage.”

The power that had awoken within you at such a young age…it had come from her. “What lineage?” You couldn’t stop your voice from trembling. Back then, your ascent had meant her downfall. Balance, such fragile balance.

“Salem witches. The women of our family were the most powerful amongst them. We’ve kept the line strong over the centuries. While our magic flourished, other witches perished, their magic running out. It’s nature’s way of telling us that we are only here to play one vital part, and I ignored mine. We’re here to make sure that the Eater of Worlds will take his rest. We’re here to make sure that he will not satiate his hunger until there is nothing left.”

Until Pennywise had devoured everything and annihilated existence as you knew it. She didn’t have to spell it out for you. You swallowed hard, an impossible weight suddenly resting on your shoulders.

“Your power awoke that day because you needed it more than me, because you know how to wield it, instinctively. Look at you, even as a child you were capable of containing this creature. And you didn’t even need your magic for it.” A proud smile spread on her face.

Whatever this was, wherever she came from, she truly was not part of the game.

Your chest tightened at her words, at her need to appear to you, and for the first time, you were truly afraid of Pennywise. “Mom, I…I don’t know what to do.”

“Of course you do. Use his love for you to your advantage. But always remember, no matter how tempting it might seem, you cannot end his existence. It’s tied to your own. He has been here before us, and he will endure.”

A thousand questions burned on your tongue, but you could see her image slowly morphing into your own features as if she was melting away. “Don’t leave me yet,” you begged and tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

“I must. He’s too close. Remember that I love you, remember that you’re stronger than I ever was. And remember to guard what you carry. Always guard what you carry.”

“I can’t carry this by myself,” you sobbed. But she was gone before she could utter another word. You pulled in a sharp breath, hugging yourself tightly as you sunk down on the bed.

If Pennywise was tied to your own life, then you couldn’t let the others kill him—or you would die with him.

You thought of the Losers who had paid so dearly for doing what your mother couldn’t. So many had died. Countless people had suffered. And this morning you had been willing to pay any price for restoring the equilibrium. If it was your own life…then so be it.

There was dark, destructive power within you. You had felt it, the first day it had awoken. This, all of this, led to you accessing that place again. Just one last time.

A soft knock on your bedroom door made your head snap up. Quickly, you wiped the tears away, forcing your face into neutrality.

“There’s someone here for you,” Richie said as he cracked the door open, attentive eyes scanning you. Your brows nudged together in confusion at his tone. Stern and sober.

“Who is it?” you demanded, ignoring the voice at the back of your head that reminded you that you would die soon, that your time with this man was limited. So terribly limited.

Richie met your gaze, a muscle feathering in his jaw. He was angry—and disappointed. “Someone who introduced himself as your boyfriend.” You closed your eyes and massaged your temples. “He’s not my boyfriend, I promise you,” you hissed, “No need to get jealous. I’ll throw him out on his ass immediately.” Pennywise would not come between Richie and you. Not now.

With determination, you strode into the living room, finding Pennywise with a bored look on his face. He was in his human form, not a hair out of place or a crease in his black three piece suit. Perfection. Walking, breathing, utterly dangerous perfection.

Instinctively, you checked your mental guards. He had probably always known that you were a Salem witch, had known about your strength. What he didn’t know, what he shouldn’t know, was that you had released that strength. That you were preparing yourself for using it.

Mike and the others wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, but Pennywise wanted to play. As long as he didn’t play dirty you would try to keep the others from attacking him. From attacking you. You would try to buy yourself time. Time to prepare. Time to spend with Richie.

“You need to leave,” you said through gritted teeth, folding your arms in front of your body protectively. A serpentine grin spread on his full lips. “Such harsh words for a man you love so dearly?” His smooth voice seemed to slither around you like a snake. “You wouldn’t know love if it spat you in the face,” you snarled.

Pennywise’s smile faltered ever so slightly. He had expected you to crumble, to give into him in front of Richie’s eyes. But you wouldn’t give him that satisfaction, you would stand your ground. “Please,” you started, “Please just leave. I can’t do this right now.” Tears burned behind your eyes again and you failed to stop them from pooling over.

His handsome face softened when he saw you crying. Pennywise hadn’t seen you cry for a long time. After all, he had always ensured that there was nothing to scare or harm you, nothing that could give you any pain. He lifted a hand as if he wanted to reach out to you, but when you immediately took a step back, he lowered it.

“I’ll see myself out,” he said flatly, sapphire blue eyes finding yours. I’ll be there when you need me. I’ll give you today. A temporary truce. His voice was nothing more but a whisper in your head, a soft caress that brought the tears to a stop.

Terribly aware of Richie lingering somewhere behind you, undoubtedly a scowl on his face, you mouthed a thank you. Pennywise inclined his head ever so slightly and then sauntered towards the door. “I lied,” he said to Richie before stepping over the threshold, “I’m not her boyfriend. Although sometimes…I wish I was.”

Your heart stopped in your chest as your mother’s words echoed in your head. Love. His love for you. All this time, you had waited for Pennywise to admit that he loved you. And this, this was probably as close as you would get to hear him say it. You sucked in a breath, unsure of what words might tumble out your mouth. But before you had the chance to speak, he walked out, the door falling shut behind him.

“Sorry for the drama,” was all you managed to say instead, rubbing your face. Strong arms embraced you from behind, pressing you against Richie’s chest tightly. “I can tell that you’re upset.” His voice was gentle, an unspoken invitation for you to speak about what was troubling you. Richie placed a kiss on the top of your head.

“This might be over before we know it,” you muttered. “You could leave Derry. You could come home with me,” Richie offered quietly, “Let me take you away from here. Let me take care of you.” It sounded tempting, and you wanted to believe that you could get out of this alive. With him.

“I want to say yes.” You paused, afraid of making promises you couldn’t keep—promises that would break his heart. “What’s keeping you?” He whispered his question into your ear, his breath tickling you, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Instinctively, you tipped your head to the side, letting go of a shuddering breath as his lips brushed against your neck.

Richie’s hand wandered up and cupped your breast through your top. “You could start by saying yes to this and then we’ll take it from there,” he suggested, “We could take it slow this time. Would you like that?” He kissed your neck again, teeth grazing over your skin tenderly. “Yes,” you got out and wound yourself out of his hold so you could face him.

Losing yourself in him, even if it was just for a little while, was exactly what you wanted. “Whatever you need. I’m here for you,” Richie said as if he had read your thoughts.

“I think you know what I need already.” You bit your lip and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Before long, a trail of clothes led to your bedroom.

Hands were busy roaming naked skin when Richie broke away from you just to say, “Lie down. I still owe you.”

More than willingly, you obliged and relaxed against the smooth sheets. Intuitively, you opened your legs, making room for him as his kisses slowly trailed down. Richie stopped at your collarbone for a moment, sucking hard enough to leave an intentional mark on your body.

“The bruises from last night aren’t enough, huh?” you checked and gasped as his mouth closed around your nipple, your comment resulting in him biting you playfully. “Last night you said you were mine. I’m just reminding you of that,” he answered and his territorial touch, this newfound tone, kindled the hunger for him like never before.

Slowly, fingers danced up your thigh as his mouth wandered down, past your abdomen. Lust threatened to consume you. “Please, Richie,” you urged, squirming under his touch. “Please, what?” He looked up at you, blue eyes alight with power—power over you. Now, you were at his mercy. And he was enjoying it immeasurably.

“Please, just get your head between my legs already,” you got out, fingers weaving into his silky curls. A wicked smile appeared on his face. “I’m in no rush.” Provocatively, he kissed the inside of your thigh, his stubble burning against your skin.

“I don’t remember treating you so viciously at the arcade,” you reminded him. “Such a greedy girl,” he chided. And yet, you felt his hand wandering up, up, up where you wanted it. A clever thumb started to massage your bundle of nerves. “Is this what you wanted?” he demanded.

In response, you pulled at his hair gently. “Ow, a simple ‘yes’ would have done it, [Y/N],” he said and you could hear the smile in his voice. “Who said that little tug meant ‘yes’?” you teased, a surprised moan escaping you as he intensified the pressure at your sassy remark. “Use your clever tongue for something else,” you suggested.

This time, he finally did as you asked, his mouth moving to where his fingers had been only a moment before. You tipped your head back and gripped the sheets as he started to lick, his tongue stroking you expertly.        

Richie drew idle circles over your skin, slowly moving up to give your breasts some attention. Reacting to your body’s needs instinctively, he changed his pace, and you let out a little yelp when he pinched your nipple gingerly. His touch slowly moved down the slope of your breast again, moving south.

You bucked your hips slightly, wanting more of him, but a strong hand pinned you down decidedly. His tongue didn’t stop its perfectly choreographed dance when he finally slid a finger into you. He let go of a moan himself, content with how wet you were for him, wet enough for him to add another finger. Unhurried, he started to plunge in and out of you, driving you positively insane with his rhythm.

A well-known feeling started to build deep inside you and just before you went over the edge, Richie pulled away. It was like a bucket of cold water and you took a deep breath before propping yourself up on your elbows. “Seriously?” you panted, a pleading look on your face.

Richie chuckled and sat up. “I thought it was up to me whether or not you deserved to find release.” You slumped down on the mattress again, cursing under your breath. “I wouldn’t have said that if I knew this was coming.”

You rolled onto your side, the need for him still pounding relentlessly between your legs—and seeing just how excited he had become while pleasuring you only made you want him more.

“I also said that I would tie you up and straddle you.” You arched an eyebrow, a vicious smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “But I’ve reconsidered. Your hands are far too gifted to be—” Richie silenced you with a sensuous kiss and you could taste yourself on his tongue. “Then let’s skip the tying up,” he suggested.

Richie sat up against the headboard and helped you ease onto him. While you got used to the delicious fullness of him, he kissed you lovingly, strong arms cradling you.

Now that you were in control, you started to move up and down, savoring each inch of him. Your movements were slow at first, allowing him to kiss you, to fondle your breasts, to grasp your behind. But although you relished this intimacy, this loving touch, you were desperate for the release you hadn’t gotten earlier.

Richie met you with a thrust every time as you started to bounce up and down. The sound of skin meeting skin mixed with your noises of pleasure roused you to increase the pace until you felt your thighs burn.

More. You wanted more.

You moved your hips in circles until you indulged in grinding fully against him. The friction this gave you made you tip your head back, your body tensing as you felt yourself approaching the edge.

Stars danced before your eyes when your climax finally ripped through you. When Richie heard you call out his name, your walls contracting around him, he found his own release, emptying himself inside of you.

Catching your breath, you rested your forehead against his, your hands cupping his face as he held you close. “If we survive this,” he said quietly, caressing your back, “promise me that you’ll come with me.” His lips found yours and his words settled like dust after an explosion. This was a promise you could keep.

If we survive this.

“I promise I’ll come with you if we survive this,” you finally answered, brushing some hair away from his forehead that was beaded with sweat. “I don’t want to leave you.” It was the truth. You didn’t want to leave him. Because if you wouldn’t die, you knew you’d fall in love with him, deeply and unconditionally. It was only a matter of time.

This was a different love than what you felt for Pennywise. Unlike the ancient creature, Richie could give you a future—could truly answer your feelings.

Richie kissed you lovingly and said against your lips, “Then let’s kill this fucking clown.” 

The smile on your face didn’t reach your eyes so you just kissed him again.

   You had almost fallen into a light slumber, head resting on Richie’s broad chest, when something tugged inside you. A tingling sensation traveled from deep in your gut to your fingertips. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Richie opened his eyes reluctantly when you lifted your head, brows nudged together in a frown as you looked around the room with confusion. “What’s up?” he asked, sounding sleepy. “I’m not sure yet,” you answered, the tingling inside you not subsiding.

It was your power. Your power was stirring—but not at Pennywise. He hadn’t lied when he had called the temporary truce. It was something, someone, else.

“Are the others back?” you asked, climbing out of bed. A shiver danced down your spine as cold air kissed against your naked skin. “I’m not sure. Why?” Richie put on his glasses, curiously watching you as you started to get dressed. “Something is wrong next door,” you explained after pulling on a sweater.

“What—how do you know? Did you hear something?” He looked towards the closed window, not a sound traveling in from outside. “I just…know,” you shrugged, throwing his pants at him. “Come on, let’s go.”

Ben and Beverly were sitting on the stairs in the lobby when you pushed open the door of the Town House, Richie following close behind you. “Did you find your token, Richie?” Beverly asked conversationally, the small smile on her lips fading when she saw the concern on your face.

“Did the clown get you, too?” Ben asked, getting up as if he wanted to help. Richie shook his head, “No, he was nowhere to be seen. She…she dragged me here just now. We were, uh, next door.” Ben pulled up his eyebrows and rubbed his neck in embarrassment when he understood what his friend was insinuating.

“Beep, beep, Richie,” Beverly muttered and got up too, reaching out to touch your arm. “What’s wrong, [Y/N]?” Her voice was soft but urging. “Do you feel it, too?” you asked and looked up the stairs, up to where something tugged, tugged, tugged at you.

“Feel what, sweetie?” she asked. You felt Richie’s hand at the small of your back, but he didn’t say anything—as if Beverly’s words had silenced him.

“Did…someone come in here? Not Bill or Eddie, but someone else.” You looked towards the door that led to the office, although you knew that Olivia wasn’t here either. “Who should be here?” Ben asked, straightening as if he was getting ready for a fight.

Suddenly, someone barged in through the front door, almost stumbling over his own feet. “Eddie, you look like shit. What happened to you, man?” Richie commented and you dared to look over your shoulder, attention shifting from the second level.

Eddie was completely covered in dark grime, panic and disgust flashing in his eyes. He was shaking and tried to push his way past his friends and you. “I need a shower, let me through, assholes,” he said and swatted Richie’s hand away as he tried to hold him back.

“You can’t go up there,” you got out, crinkling your nose at the foul smell that came off him. Everyone turned to look to you. “Listen, I need to get this off of me right now or who knows what kind of shit I’ll catch,” Eddie pleaded, rubbing his face as if he could get himself clean with his bare hands.

“Let me go up first,” you suggested. “No way am I letting you go up first,” Richie interjected. “I don’t need your protection,” you claimed calmly, “I’ll go up there first. You can follow me if you want, but let me go first.” Your voice was strong, unwavering. The friends blinked at your sharp tone and Richie held up his palms in defeat, the look on his face telling you that he was anything but pleased with how you were acting. You decided to ignore him and started walking up the stairs, letting that tug lead you.

Eventually, you came to a stop, holding out your hand so Eddie would give you his room key. No one dared to say anything and you held your breath when you unlocked the door.

Nothing. The room was empty, the bed made and untouched. The window was half-open which seemed slightly odd, but nothing to be too worried about. Maybe you were getting paranoid?

But the tug was still there, tingling and ominous. You tiptoed to the bathroom, opening the door slowly and peeked inside.

The face of a maniac peered back at you, eyes wide with wonder at this unforeseen arrival. “He doesn’t want to hurt you, get away, little girl,” the delusional Henry Bowers purred at you, a silver knife gleaming in his hand.

Pennywise had put him up to this. So much for the truce.

You took a step back, knowing that you needed to stay between the friends and the lunatic. He would jump them immediately, but he knew he wasn’t allowed to hurt you. A human shield, that’s what you were.

Behind you, Beverly let out a small shriek when she saw Bowers following you into the bedroom. “Beverly, call the police,” Ben instructed and probably shoved her back into the hallway before trying to come to help you. Richie’s arm wrapped around your waist, pulling at you, but you dug your heels into the floor. “Time to die, Trashmouth,” Bowers spat, lifting his knife and taking another step towards you. “You get out right now, you hear me,” Richie hissed into your ear, “He doesn’t want you.”

“Exactly, he doesn’t want me. So stay behind me,” you urged, trying to wind yourself out of Richie’s unforgiving hold. Ben snuck up beside you, hands lifted so he would appear as no threat. “The police are on their way, it’s over for you Bowers.” You could hear Beverly whimpering from the hallway as she called for help, Eddie swearing colorfully.

“I’ll kill you before they get here,” the madman said, grinning from ear to ear, “Now get out of my way, princess. Let me do what he sent me here to do.”

“Ben, you need to back off and Richie you need to let go of me,” you said through gritted teeth. But Richie’s iron grip didn’t loosen and Ben didn’t move. Bowers took another step towards you and the tingling in your fingertips turned into an uncomfortable prickling. It was as if millions of small needles pierced through your skin. Blood started to rush in your ears, something inside you starting to push. “One more step, Bowers,” you warned, feeling like your power was suffocating you from the inside.

Darkness. It was the darkness you had felt that day when the children had died, the day of the carnage. You hadn’t been able to control it back then. What if you hurt Richie or the others?

Panicking, you clawed at Richie’s arm around you, thrashing until his grip loosened slightly just as Ben took a step towards Henry Bowers. Crazy eyes shifted from you to the handsome man. Bowers was just about to lunge when you finally wound yourself out of Richie’s hold. He would kill him. First Ben and then Richie. Richie.

You know how to wield it, instinctively.

Your mother’s words rang through you and you made a decision—you let the darkness wash over you, consume you, guide you. Your hands clenched into fists, nails digging into your palms painfully. And you willed Bowers to freeze. The joyful insanity on his face immediately turned into fear. Pure and utter fear, eyes meeting yours. “Witch,” he spat at you.

Power, pure and cataclysmic, rushed through your veins.

Kill him, kill him, kill him.

You barely registered that the other’s were saying things, that someone tried to pull you out of the room again. No, not just someone. Richie.

“You tried to kill him.” The midnight voice that came from you wasn’t entirely your own. Everyone fell silent, the pulling stopped. “I will kill them all,” Bowers explained, a grin on his face. You shook your head slowly, feeling how you descended deeper and deeper into that well of power inside you. “Not if I kill you first,” you snarled and with a simple snap of your finger his neck cracked, the sound crisp and unmistakable.

As his body fell to the floor with a loud thud, the knife clattering to the ground, your power retreated, slowly nestling itself back into its well. You sunk to your knees, seeing how blood seeped from Bowers’ eyes, ears, and nostrils, slowly trickling to the floor.

“What…what just happened?” Ben stammered. “How did you do that?” Richie asked, voice eerily low. You looked at the friends, tears sliding down your cheeks. “I’m not entirely sure,” you admitted, your stomach leaden when you saw the confusion and dread in their eyes. “Richie,” you started but fell silent, unsure of what you should say.

Beverly was the one who snapped out of it first, her steps tentative as she came into the room, taking a closer look at Bowers’ lifeless body. She grimaced at the body before kneeling next to you. “How did you do that?” she asked softly, “Just try to explain it to us.”

And so you did.

Taglist:

@lilwickedred @shockwavee @itssmaugtheterrible @ggclarissa @chillcan @jojo-buttercup @victor-criss-bish @discodeakky @kaetastic @discodiscodeaky @cigarettesandtattoos @ma-ntequilla @tozierskaspb

16 + 2 Reddie Fic Recs pt. 2

I’m back and still on my Bill Hader bullshit, so here’s another round of Reddie fic recs, because I can’t stop reading and sometimes sifting through the insane amounts of fic is a nightmare. So if you feel my pain and need some (at least in my opinion) fun stories, then come along with me on a magical journey filled with men crying during sex, hypochondria, and your mom jokes.

As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:

IT chapter 2 list part one - Reddie

Good Omens fic 

The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian

Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)

Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.

All my recs are completed, almost all of them are post-It chapter 2. * - denotes a favorite

1. I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - ~10,000 words, teen - The history of Eddie and Myra’s marriage shown through their posts on reddit. The voices here are great, and it really feels like reading the reddit forums, down to the people sleuthing through their past posts and comments to try and figure out if what they’re saying is real or an elaborate troll.

 r/relationships

Posted by u/martymcfly6xo 7 months ago

 My (39F) husband (39M) likes horrible stand-up comedy. How can I stop him from bringing this up in front of our mutual friends?

For the last year or so my husband has been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on youtube. I want him to have something relaxing to do (he works a lot and gets really invested in his ‘hands-on’ hobbies in a way I’m not sure is good for him) but I was very puzzled by this discovery as he likes very crass acts and that is certainly not the kind of humor hubby usually enjoys...

2. all of the kids back home believing much more than you do by eatcheeseliveforever - ~11,000 words, explicit - This is a fix-it fic, which is becoming more and more rare in this fandom as we collectively started deciding that Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t need to be brought back to live, because he never died in the first place, dammit. It has some great pining by Richie. You can really feel his grief and desperation as he searches for a way to get Eddie back. The other Losers are great in this too, especially Mike with his whales.

"A boat, actually," murmured Mike.  "I'm on a whale-watching cruise."

Richie mouthed the words "whale watching cruise" to himself.  Empirically he knew such things existed, that they happened not far away from the coast where he lived, but it felt like several fucking galaxies away from where he was, surrounded by the ghosts of takeouts and blackouts past and the actual ghost-ghosts, who he couldn't step in or stub his toe on at three in the morning, but hurt so much worse.

"He said you've been googling resurrection rituals."

Richie scrounged through his pile of empties, hoping one wasn't.  "Bill talks too much."

"Richie."  A sigh, or a wave, or a really quiet whale.  "You're not going to find a resurrection ritual on Google."

"I've found hundreds," said Richie.  "Funny thing, though, they all seem to call for orgies.  Or virgin sacrifices.  Or sacrificing someone's virginity in an orgy.  I'm hoping Ben will volunteer as tribute."

3. * - you’ve got the answers to my confessions by QueerOnTilMorning - ~17,000 words, explicit - This is the good stuff right here. Richie accidentally sexts Eddie and Eddie is IN. TO. IT. This fic starts with excellent phone sex, there’s misunderstandings and confessions in the middle, and then it ends with super hot sex. There’s a brief part with karaoke that was a bit of a lull in the story, but doesn’t take away from how great the rest is.

     suck on ur tongue  

     show u how much I missd that mouth  

     when u start getting weak in the knees  

     thats when ill get on mine  

 He set the phone aside to unzip his pants, palming himself through his boxers, already half-hard.

 Then he froze.

 The text he had just replied to--it was what he'd expected Travis to say, but it wasn't how Travis would say it. That text began with a capital letter and contained punctuation. That text was from--

 "Oh, fuck, no," Richie whispered, and his phone rang.

 Incoming call: Eds

4. * -  L'Appel du Vide by Mackem - ~92,000 words, teen - I know, I know, almost 100k and no sex, but hear me out! The pining in this fic is so exquisitely beautiful and wrenching. Eddie’s POV is excellent and feels really spot on. The other Losers are well represented, especially Ben and Bev. In fact, the group dynamics here are almost as good as the relationship stuff. The later chapters bring in a subplot about the deadlights that I wasn’t that interested in, but it’s still done really, really well, and that’s only a side plot that doesn’t impact that exceptional story of Eddie and Richie figuring out how to stop being dummies.

Two messages, however, are from Stanley, sent to him privately. He opens them, and is met with a picture of Richie, apparently taken without him realising.

It shows him laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners behind his glasses, and his smile bright and broad as a hand gestures wildly in the air. The other hand is in his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he tilts his head back, displaying the line of his throat beneath his stubble.

The breath is punched from Eddie at the sight of it.

He stares at it for a long moment, surprised by the depth of his reaction. His stomach is swirling happily, a bubble of excitement growing at the pit, and he cannot help but feel a heated flush build at his cheeks.

It’s probably just because Richie looks like he’s enjoying himself. It’s good to see his friend having fun. That has to be it.

Then he reads Stan’s message.

Stan: He was talking about you. He does that a lot.

5. my love a beacon in the night - by zach_stone - ~4500 words, explicit - Richie is on the road doing shows through Christmas. His friends have a surprise for him. I know it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but it’s never the wrong time for a fluffy Christmas story imo.

 “Yep, just got to my hotel,” Richie says. “Now I’m getting ready for my big Christmas Eve plans.”

 Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

 “Well according to my TV guide, they’re doing a rerun of The Mistletoe Promise, so I’m all fuckin’ set,” Richie says, grinning when Eddie laughs. On Eddie’s end of the line, he hears the sound of cars passing by, the muffled chatter of people, and says, “Are you outside?”

 “Huh? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says.

 Richie glances at the clock on the nightstand. It’s after ten; Eddie’s not one to be wandering around Times Square after dark. He frowns slightly. Eddie’s been unusually vague about his holiday plans, so Richie has no clue what he’s up to this evening. Not that it’s any of his business. Maybe he’s started seeing someone and is spending the holidays with them. Richie has a sudden image of Eddie, arm-in-arm with some generically pretty woman, taking in the lights and decorations around the city. It opens a pit in his stomach.

6. Coming Back and Coming Out: Richie Tozier's 2019 by Lunatical - ~2000 words, teen - I genuinely adore the mixed media fics that this fandom has spawned. This one is an excerpt from a magazine interview with Richie as he restarts his career.

Slouched on his couch in a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and torn-up jeans, Richie Tozier looks exactly like the manchild he is describing himself to be. Next to him, sitting up straight and dressed in a lovely suit that most people would consider appropriate for an interview, his husband rolls his eyes.

When we scheduled this interview, Tozier insisted we hold it at their house, citing a desire for the interview to be “as chill as possible”—in his own words, of course. He argued that seeing the two of them in their usual environment would help me get a better idea of the kind of relationship they have. After walking into their apartment and seeing the way they’ve decorated the place, I have to admit that I can understand why.

7. baby, there’s no other superstar by kaspbrakziers - ~7000 words, mature - Another mixed media fic that shows the progression of Richie and Eddie’s relationship and Richie’s career through tweets, texts, and interviews. Eddie not knowing how to turn off the capslock on his phone absolutely sent me.

Search history

Today Sunday, 13 November 2016

should i get a divorce? - Google Search

Unhappily Married: Should I get a divorce? - Yahoo Answers

10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over - Buzzfeed

how to divorce? - Google Search

How To File For Divorce (With Pictures) - wikiHow

how to divorce someone without them getting angry? – Google Search

can you divorce someone without telling them? - Google Search

8. Goes on Trips for the Scenery by InkandOwl - ~4500 words, teen - Eddie dies and then comes back to life and tries to get some perspective. I liked the conversations between Eddie and Richie and then way that Eddie starts to take care of himself. The end is really sweet.

If cosmic power and a literal alien space clown’s death wasn’t going to bring him back to life, Eddie was certain that the terrible pain of hearing Richie beg, his tears dropping onto Eddie’s face, probably would’ve done it. He feels sick just thinking about it. About what it all means. “Yeah, Rich, I will.” He could throw a jab at him, tell him something about eating like an adult for once, but he wants to be easy with him right now. Richie deserves it. “You’ll text, right?”

Richie looks down at the prepaid cricket phone in Eddie’s hand and laughs, “There’s no fucking way that thing gets texts.”

“It does.” Eddie grins, “You could call too.”

The fight drains from Richie, his shoulder slumping and he sighs, “Yeah, Eds, I’ll call.”

9. cause i'm about to blow that back out by thotgreeves - ~5000 words, explicit - Here, have some porn. Eddie wears lingerie and Richie loses his goddamn mind. Features submissive top Richie and his unending boner for Eddie.

Richie really should have learnt to never underestimate Eddie Kaspbrak by now. It had come close to killing Richie once, but Eddie might actually be trying to finish him off.

Because the other perk of always letting Eddie go ahead of him was that it gave Richie a prime view of Eddie's ass. Eddie knew about this part and was okay with it. He was wearing a high-waisted pair of slacks that Richie was pretty sure came from the women's section, slightly loose in the legs but nicely filled out by his ass. Richie had been very vocal in the past about how hot they got him, which signaled that Eddie definitely wanted to have sex tonight, and that was already enough to make Richie's dick twitch in excitement. He hadn't been prepared for the finishing blow.

Richie's eyes were fixed, pendulum-like, on how Eddie's slacks were hugging his butt perfectly with every step he took, tight enough to show off the outline of his underwear. Only the folds didn't sit where Richie had expected them to. Instead, Richie realized, his mouth going dry, that in the absence of boxers, there was only a V-shaped crease running from Eddie's hips to between his asscheeks, which could only mean-

Eddie was wearing a thong.

10. * - I’ll Be Homo For Christmas by Amuly - ~15,000 words, explicit - Bill and Audra get a divorce, so Bill moves into Richie’s house with him. Eddie, watching all of this from New York, where he’s still married to Myra, is super, super ok and fine with it in every way.

Except then Richie started posting.

Just stupid shit, mostly with Bill. It wasn’t even real. Eddie knew Bill wasn’t gay and him and Richie were just fucking around ‘for the ‘gram!’ But the more posts Eddie scrolled past on Richie’s Instagram—

 Bill in the kitchen swatting at Richie with a spatula.

 Richie and Bill at the pound, Richie rating dogs on adoptability, Richie begging Bill to adopt a dog with him.

 Richie in the morning with bedhead, smiling blearily into the camera as Bill…

Well. Eddie couldn’t even remember what stupid thing Bill was supposed to be doing in the background of that photo because his eyes couldn’t get past Richie’s bedhead and shirtless torso, chest hairs creeping up towards his collarbones and the little dip at the base of his throat.

Eddie hadn’t thought he was homophobic. But he must have some unresolved issues with it, because he got a stomachache every time he looked at that photo of Richie. Eddie popped a Tums and resolved to talk about it with his therapist.

11. A High-Five is a Hug You Can Hit by Amuly - ~26,000 words, explicit - This fic shows us times throughout their friendship when Eddie and Richie would invent reasons to touch each other without even knowing why. This author feels the same bone deep conviction about Richie crying during sex that I do, and I greatly appreciate that. Plus, all of their stories are fantastic, including this one.

“You know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia is feeling like you’re warm. So like, your body gets so cold that it gets hot, and then you start taking off your clothes-”

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?” Richie shot back at him without turning around.

“Why don’t you ask your sister how much she liked it last week!” Eddie hollered up at him. Richie just flipped him off without looking. That kinda… bugged Eddie. What the fuck did Richie think he was doing leading up the group with Bill? Why was he stuck back here with Stan? Eddie glanced over at Stan, who was trudging tiredly through the woods alongside him, breath puffing out in little clouds of smoke.

“Okay, Stan?”

Stan glanced over at him, confused. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, fine. Cold.”

“Well that’s better than feeling warm.” And now Eddie was back on track. “Because, if anyone starts feeling warm, they should tell the others immediately. That’s a sign of hypothermia. And we have to warm you up. But you have to do it gradually, you can’t just jump in like, a pot of boiling water-”

12. * - fall apart of stay intact by kaspbrak_kid - ~19,000 words, teen - A more melancholy take on the Christmas fic. This story takes Richie’s self-esteem issues and mental problems and amps them up in a way that feels entirely realistic. The gang comes together to celebrate Christmas, and everyone is walking on eggshells because last Christmas was a bad one for Richie. Also, Eddie moves into the house literally right next to Richie’s, and I find that detail endlessly charming.

“Five minutes ago. I called you, and you didn’t answer. Because you were outside, apparently, fucking...stargazing in December! With no hat on!”

“It’s about the Vitamin D!” Richie says. Now that he’s moved a little, he can really feel the cold—his ears are aching, and his face is numb. “Reflecting off the moon, or something. I have seasonal depression, you know!”

“You have seasonal stupidity,” Eddie mutters, audibly rubbing his hands together. “Just get inside.”

“Yours or mine?” Richie jokes.

Eddie doesn’t get the memo. “Mine, obviously. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”

“Oh,” Richie says, and sits up. “Um. Okay, be right there.”

“Oh, thank god,” Eddie says, and hightails it to his back door, cursing about the cold.

13. evidence of a happier future by lagaudiere - 23,000 words, mature - I am here, leading the Jealous!Eddie revolution. Why aren’t there more fics about this. Have you SEEN Eddie Kaspbrak, can you IMAGINE him jealous? Make this happen, fandom. Anyway, in this one, Richie has a boyfriend back in LA. Eddie has trouble dealing with that as he tries to figure himself out and pick up the pieces of his life post-Derry.

“It’s not gonna be like Mike’s announcement, don’t worry,” Richie says hastily. “And it’s not like, a huge thing, so don’t make it a huge thing. But you guys are like, my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I’m, uh. Gay.”

He turns up his palms and raises his eyebrows in a gesture that suggests a magician presenting his audience with an empty hat after making the rabbit disappear, and Eddie says, “Are you joking?”

“What? Jesus, no, Eddie.” Richie’s face falls, and Eddie instantly feels guilty. “I’m trying to be sincere here.”

“Sorry,” Eddie says immediately, feeling all of their friends looking at him with reproach. “I was just — if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think you should… joke about it.”

“Well, I am,” Richie says. He sounds slightly put out — and who wouldn’t be, Eddie scolds himself, by that ridiculous response. “I have all the gay credientials. I have a boyfriend, partner, whatever people say. I don’t really tell people because of the whole, stage persona, thing. But yeah.”

“Richie!” Bev’s voice breaks through the awkwardness, and she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling us. Really.”

And the others all join in, a chorus of voices telling Richie they love him and they’re proud of him, and Ben is saying, “I wanna see a picture of the guy!” and Eddie’s throat feels like it’s closing up.

14. The ‘Do Not Fucking Touch Me’ Tour by MellytheHun - ~23,000 words, explicit - It’s Richie’s comeback special, and he makes it a big one. This...isn’t really a comedy show, but the author lampshades that. It’s an excuse to have Richie talk about how much he loves each of his friends individually, and it’s extremely entertaining. Richie doesn’t know that Eddie is in the audience watching it all.

“Hey, uhm… Eddie… he couldn’t reschedule his thing? He - I mean... it… it was really that important?”

She feels awful for him immediately, but not wanting to spoil what would ultimately be a lovely surprise, she tells him, “I’m sorry, Rich. He said it was urgent. He was really sorry about it.”

Her phone buzzes with a text from Eddie right as Richie curses under his breath, missing the noise. She clutches her phone more tightly in her fist, knowing Eddie is wondering where his seat is going to be; she bought him a separate ticket, elsewhere in the theatre, so Richie wouldn’t catch him sitting among them, as he will absolutely, inevitably look over to the Losers for most of the show.

“Okay,” Richie surrenders sadly, “Uh - I guess he’ll see it eventually, right?”

Smiling forlornly at him, she pats his arm, and tells him, “don’t worry, Richie. Your genius will inevitably be forced upon us all.”

He smiles at her, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and when Bill jokingly asks why he didn’t get one, Richie flips him off, and reminds them to treat themselves to the bar in the lobby.

Once he’s backstage, Beverly takes her phone out, and emails Eddie his ticket, explains that she’s already convinced Richie he’s not coming, and to make sure he doesn’t show up too early, or Richie will notice.

15. The List by cissues - ~7000 words, teen - Eddie finds a list he wrote as a teenager. Richie tries his best to fulfill them all. This is very sweet.

‘ All the things I want. Everything I’m not allowed to have. A perfect summer. ”

The words hit gentler than he thought they would, but they still hit and he finds himself blinking away at a wetness at the corner of his eye. He wipes at it and sniffles and Richie peers sidelong at him to make sure he’s okay. He is, he’s fine, and Richie never dotes on him when things are, generally, okay. Only when he needs it, which is one of the many things he loves about what they have now.

“This is… this is like a fucking  bucket list  for the most repressed child in the world.” Richie says, breathless.

Eddie rolls his eyes to hide the sting. “You’re looking at him,” he says, bitter. Richie frowns at him but turns back to the paper. Another thing Eddie loves, Richie never takes his trauma-induced bait. His knee-jerk reactions developed over years of what he’s now comfortable enough to call abuse.

16. Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions by DeadpanMage - ~2000 words, teen - This is a short one, but the transcript of this popular YT video format with Richie felt spot on in terms of characterization and Richie’s voice.

[Back to the text screen: “So WIRED asked Richie Tozier some of the internet’s burning questions.” Cut back to Richie, now holding a poster board with several Google autocomplete searches half covered.]

Richie: I’ve undergone something of a rebranding in the past year, so I wonder how many of these questions are going to be super irrelevant-slash-embarrassing. Probably all of them. Let’s get started! [He tears the covering off of the first question.] Alright, that’s not bad. “How to pronounce Richie Tozier?” Well, we’re only on question one and I’ve already said it like a hundred times so there you go. And that’s “Richie Tozier” spelled J-O-H-N M-U-L-A-N-E-Y, so if you’ve got any complaints be sure to send them that way. Next question!

You can check out a larger list of stories I’ve enjoyed in my AO3 bookmarks. And finally, if you’re interested, here are the two fics I’ve written:

1. Waiting For a Sign - ~6000 words, explicit - Eddie meets Richie again and comes to the startling realization that he totally wants to hit that.

Maybe if Richie wasn’t famous, Eddie could have found a way to let it go. A couple furtive jerk off sessions in the shower after he got back to New York and the image of Richie’s big hands and wide smile and improbably flattering stubble would fade from his mind.

But Richie was famous, and the internet never forgot.

Eddie lasted three days before giving in and typing ‘Richie Tozier’ into the YouTube search bar. Just seeing Richie in the thumbnails was enough to make Eddie’s heart thud, what the fuck. He had to scroll past a bunch of news videos about Richie's supposed mental breakdown, but after that he landed on some old stand-up.

Before he clicked on the first video, he got up and made sure that the door of his study was locked. Then he turned off the lights and put on a pair of earbuds.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It - ~21,000 words, explicit - It’s that totally relatable situation where the man you’re secretly in love with is a celebrity who just came out and now needs a fake boyfriend to keep himself in the spotlight. Eddie offers to help out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s insanely fucking jealous.

Eddie froze, breath catching in his throat.

Richie looked...really good.

Bev’s influence was obvious. His hair, which had been unkempt and shaggy, a perfect match for his stoner permakid schtick, was cut much shorter and neater. His formerly unruly stubble somehow now emphasized the sharp cut of his jaw instead of obscuring it.

He wore new glasses, Eddie noticed. Slim silver metal frames instead of his giant, clunky plastic ones. The fitted black sweater and dark blue jeans were simple, but made his shoulders look impossibly broad and his legs miles long.

Fuck everything and Beverly Marsh in particular.

LINK TO MY FIRST SET OF REDDIE RECS 30+ FICS

Querencia

Barry Berkman x Reader

Hello I love Bill Hader and I love Barry and so this happened! Enjoy! x

---

You blinked twice, taken aback by the sight in front of you. The lights in your apartment were out, but you knew it was him. The lingering scent of his cologne mixed with what seemed to be sweat and blood met you as your eyes traced his outline, highlighted by the streetlamp outside.

“Barry… what the fuck?” you asked, unable to move or do anything more than stare at his figure heaped on the floor.

Stumbling over to the wall, you flicked on the lamp, wincing as your eyes adjusted to the light. Barry grunted at you as he shielded his eyes, adjusting himself so he was propped up against your sofa.

You crouched down, slowly shuffling closer to him. How on earth had he found his way here, his shirt torn through the middle, covered in disarrayed spatters of blood? His hand trembled as he softly touched the tear in his shirt.

“Barry, oh shit! Oh shit, shit, shit!” you gasped, only now realising that the blood that stained him was coming from his chest. “I have to get you to a hospital,” you muttered, more to yourself than him. Panic crept through you and beads of sweat started to drip down your neck.

“No, y/n, you can’t. Please, I can’t go,” he whispered, moaning slightly. His face was pale, and his tired eyes pleaded with you. He reached out to you, his hand clasping on to your bare knee. His hand was clammy against you, his fingertips rough as he gripped you slightly.

Inching closer, you peeled his shirt off, revealing a long scrape across his torso. Biting your lip in an attempt to keep quiet, you ripped his shirt in half, knowing he would be unable to get it over his head.

Barry’s eyes looked for you, and as you glanced at him he softened slightly. A sharp cough caught him off guard, and he groaned loudly as his stomach clenched. Wiping your stained hands on your skirt, you leapt up and ran straight for anything that might help clean and mend his wounds.

Your heart was pounding, and you were so afraid of what had happened to Barry that you weren’t entirely sure that you wanted him to indulge you. You were shaky as you made your way through your apartment, filling your favourite mixing bowl with water and disinfectant and grabbing the nearest towel before rummaging around to find your old sewing kit.

A loud groan and thumping sound came from the living room, and you darted back in to find Barry slumped on his side, hand cradling his stomach.

Your brows furrowed as you returned to your knees, water at your side. Gently you ran the damp cloth across his face, clearing him of the dirt and grime he was smattered in. Gulping, you ran your thumb along his chin as he turned to look at you. His nerves were radiating from him, and you leaned in closer to press a quick kiss to his lips, before diverting your full attention to his wound. He shuffled himself along, lying on the rug you’d bought back from Morocco, hands itching to touch you and feel you and remind him that he was still alive.

“y/n, I need to tell you –,” he started, but a quick look from you stopped him.

“Are you in trouble?” you asked as you began to rinse his chest with water. Goosebumps appeared on his skin, and his foot twitched, almost as if the sensation was making him ticklish.

“Depends who you ask,” he responded with a grimace, knowing that he had to tell you the truth even if it meant you might walk away.

“Don’t tell me now,” you whispered as you washed the blood away. It trickled down and across his chest, reminding you of the watercolours you did when you were a child. “Let me fix you up first.”

Barry reached for you, his calloused hand once again finding its place on your knee. His jaw was clenched, and he lay with his eyes closed as you washed the wound, his eyes creasing as the disinfectant stung him. Leaning in closer, you inspected the wound using your fingers to softly pry his skin apart, making sure there was no dirt left before you started to stitch the wound.

“Barry, I don’t have anything to sterilise this with,” you said, gesturing to the sewing needle that was neatly arranged in your sewing kit.

“Just wash it and put it over the gas until it’s red,” he replied, biting his lip as another bout of pain washed through him.

You headed back to the kitchen, following Barry’s instructions as you tried to keep yourself calm. ‘What is going on?’ you thought. You knew about Barry’s past in the Marines, and you figured that there were some things that happened that he might never share, and you were fine with that. But this? This was wild, not something you’d ever expect. You stood over your stove, tweezers gripping the needle. You’d expected to come home from work and cook the both of you dinner – you’d bought a special bottle of red wine that was way out of your budget, but you had every intention of asking Barry to move in with you tonight until you’d found him crumpled on your apartment floor. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath in and held it. You could hear Barry coughing, and your stomach flipped. You knew how much he loved you – knew it with every fibre of your being – but your hands trembled slightly as your mind raced through scenarios that would result in him here, on your floor, staining your rug.

The needle turned red and you flicked the gas off, carefully carrying it back to his side before threading the cotton through it. You’d stitched people up before – namely your brother whose endless cycle of stupid stunts had earnt you the title of ‘Honorary Nurse’ before you turned eight. Placing a hand on his stomach, you followed the steps you certainly knew well enough by now, breathing carefully and avoiding his eyes.

Sweat was dripping sweetly down your back and you could feel it pooling at your knees as you stitched up your lover, still completely in the dark about what had put him there. His hand was on your knee again, gripping tightly in order to cope with the constant pricking of his already sensitive skin. Barry breathed in sharply, thumb pressing into your skin, leaving a bruise.

After some time – seemingly forever – you finished the stitching. You’d done a good job, all things considering, though you knew he’d have to get it dressed by a professional sooner rather than later. Letting out a sigh you weren’t aware you’d been holding in, you placed your hand over his, lacing his fingers with yours.

“I need to get a bandage for this,” you said, nodding at his chest. Barry glanced at you with soft eyes, squeezing your fingers quickly before you headed for the bathroom, certain you’d thrown a pack of bandages in the cupboard.

A shrill noise rang through your apartment, and you heard Barry groan and shuffle, before the noise stopped.

“Fuches.”

Bandages in one hand, you gingerly left the bathroom, nerves kicking through you. You could hear Barry, but his voice was so strained and severe that you couldn’t make out the words – except anger. You knew there was anger.

As you got closer, you could hear him clearly, and although you weren’t sure why, you felt oddly like you were disturbing him.

“No. No. Fuck off Fuches, I told you,” he retorted through the phone. “Do not bring her into this. I will fucking kill you.”

You watched from the doorway as Barry screamed in frustration, throwing his phone against the wall, shattering.

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, bringing his hands to his face.

“Barry, baby. I got the bandages,” you said, kneeling at his side once again.

His hands were still covering his face as you applied the bandages, his body tensing at the touch of your cold fingers.

“Can you move? We should get you off the floor… my rug,” you exclaimed, gesturing to the stains it had accumulated.

His hands fell from his face, a smile spread across his face as he began to laugh.

“You come home to find me bleeding on your floor,” Barry starts, taking a deep breath, “and overhear me telling someone I’ll kill them, and you’re worried about your rug?” You smile at him, the softness in his voice, his hands tracing your arm.

“Something I can have some semblance of control over,” you replied with a smile. “Come on, help me move you to the bed.”

The two of you worked together to reach your bed, Barry leaning on you for support. You removed the rest of his clothes, washing him down some more to finally remove all the dirt and blood that stained his skin.

“Are you hungry?” you asked as your own stomach rumbled. Barry nodded in agreement, and you went into the kitchen to throw a frozen pizza and fries in the oven, before pouring yourself a glass of wine. You absolutely needed it now. Returning to your bedroom, you climbed onto your bed, wine in hand.

“So, you wanna tell me about it? Who was on the phone?”

Barry turned to look at you, and you noticed him tearing up. Settling your wine on the bedside table, you curled yourself into him, taking his hands in yours.

“Barry, it’s okay. I love you. It’s okay.”

He took a deep breath. “I’ve done some pretty shitty things. Really bad things. Things that you won’t love me for, after I tell you.”

Brushing his hair from his forehead, you leaned in to kiss him.

“I’m not an idiot, Barry. I heard you on the phone. I don’t know what you do, but I do know you turn up here smelling like blood and sweat… and something else. And I always ignore it. Because I love you.”

“I love you, y/n. And I don’t deserve you. Fuches… that guy on the phone. He’s like, my manager – or he was. He uh, well, he gets me jobs. Jobs like what I did in the Marines, kind of,” he explains, looking at you with trepidation.

You remain silent, waiting for him to finish.

“I kill people for money. Like, you know, a hitman. And well, Fuches just won’t leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want to do it. He makes me feel like it’s the only thing I’m good at. But, I’ve stopped, y/n, I don’t want to live like that. I never did.”

Barry felt the shift in your demeanour immediately, although he knew it was coming. Your hands went cold, and you pulled yourself away from him. Barry lay in silence, cursing himself. He knew he had to tell you the truth, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Your head was running wild. Barry, a killer? No way. He was so soft, and loving, and gentle with his caresses. He couldn’t possibly take a life?

He didn’t try to reach you, to touch you. He didn’t even talk. He knew he’d ruined it – you were the only good thing in his life, and he ruined everything he touched. You left him on your bed, thinking only about the pizza in the oven. Yanking the oven door open, you reached in for the pizza tray without thinking.

“Oh fuck!” you yelled, an angry red welt already appearing across your palm.

Rushing to the sink, you ran the tap and submersed your hand in the cool water. Your mind started to slow, your thoughts clearing as you relaxed and enjoyed the water trickling over your hands and forearms. Your eyes focussed on a photo, smiling fondly at the memory. It was at one of Barry’s acting classes, his first big performance with Sally. You were so proud of him, so in love with him that night. The photo was the first you two took together, and Sally had snapped it proudly, exclaiming to the whole class that she was sure you two would be married one day soon. In the photo Barry was smiling, his big, beautiful infectious smile. His eyes were crinkled, and they glistened – he had been laughing at Sally’s declaration, and his hand on your waist had gripped you closer. You were gazing up at Barry, a similar smile on your face. Tears threatened your eyes as you let your heart swell at that feeling – that almost impossible feeling of being so hopelessly in love with someone that you would quite literally follow them to hell and back, to the ends of the earth, to battle all their demons no matter how terrifying. Flicking off the tap, you took a deep breath before returning to your bedroom.

Barry had shuffled himself up, so his back was resting against the wall. His eyes searched for yours as soon as you returned, and you marched up to the bed before clambering on, as close as you could get to him without hurting his wound.

“I don’t like it. Okay, I don’t like it. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say.”

His face fell, even though he’d expected this response. He opened his mouth to speak, before you started again.

“I’m not finished. I don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. But I love you. I love you, I love you, and I will say it until I run out of breath. I’m not going to run away from this, from you,” you said as you gripped his hands, talking rapidly.

He opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words. How he’d ever been so blessed to have you he did not know. Gently you leaned in to kiss him, savouring him and letting your fingers caress his face.

“I love you,” he murmured, tears quietly rolling down his face. “I don’t deserve you, but I’ll love you every day for the rest of my life,” he whispered as you both lay down, facing one another.

You closed your eyes and smiled softly. He could tell you more another day, but for now this was enough.

Mirrors of Nightmares

IT chapter 2

Bill Denbrough x sister! female reader (non-romantic)

Warning: gore, blood, violence, horror, death, cursing

Specifics: horror, platonic, violence, angst, action, one-shot, race neutral reader, brother/sister

People: bill denbrough, little boy, pennywise 

Words: 1,513

Requested: By anon Hi!!! I just saw it chapter 2 and it was so good! Could you write where the reader is bill denbrough little sister (by like 1 or 2 years) and she was apart of the losers club and they come back to Derry and she goes with bill in the mirror maze and after the kid dies she has a panic attack and bill has to help calm her down and comfort her?

Authors Note: my first IT fic! i luv this movie franchise thing sm like yall have no idea. my fav is richie and i luv bill hader on a scary kinda level u know? but im srry for taking a gazzilion years, life is a butthole and keeps me away from fun and u guys. 

It was fear. You felt almost your stomach drop entering into Derry again, after so many years. As trees move side to side from the wind and shake so did your hands. You began to see yourself as fragile and weak once more, just like when you and the rest of the gang were little. Sometimes you felt alone in all of this nightmare, like the world was a vast, endless space of black nothingness and you were fighting to stay alive, all alone. Bill - your brother - made you look at life through another lens. He kept you alive. He made you feel strong. Whenever life seemed unbearable he was there for you just like the older, protective brother he was. His number one - when entering into this memorable town again - was making sure you were safe.

If only he could suck - like a vacuum cleaner - all those terrible moments from that terrible clown that laid burrowed in your head. 

In the moment of hero or a savior you put someone above you. Someones safety and life on top of your own. Their life is in your hand. No matter what you do you are the ending decision of their fate. 

“Not this little boy,” you cried in your mind as you and Bill teamed up as sister and brother, like a team, but it was no cheerful time. Time was ticking and either you and Bill stop Pennywise from hurting this boy or the boy becomes non existent. 

The carnival was supposed to be a trip full of laughter and fun but instead it made you anxious. Hearing the different, loud noises made it difficult to focus, along with the hoard of people leaving and entering. 

“This way,” Bill waved his hand forward as he started sprinting. 

You followed him, feeling your heart beat rapidly and vigorously. Your eyes tried to find the little boy. He was not safe. He was in grave danger. “There!” You see the young kid giving tickets to a little girl. “He’s right there.”

“Hey! Hey kid!” Bill shouted as he ran to the child. “Kid!”

The blonde haired boy walked in the fun house. Not knowing the evil that followed him. 

“He can’t hear us.” You both jump into the twirling of the carnival entrance and are greeted with neon, glow in the dark clowns that sway back and forth on a path. 

One hits Bill as he passes. You go to his aid. “Are you okay Bill?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Lets go.” He grabs onto your arm, protectively. 

As you proceed there is a huge room filled with only mirrors. It makes you dizzy and unsure as you see you and Bill through your reflection. “Where did he go?”

“I don’t know but stay close.”

Lights were blinking constantly making your eyes and head hurt. You and Bill touched the mirrors to try to find an exit to continue on to find the kid. That was all part of the game, all part of the chase. The kid walked by further away. 

“Kid!” You and Bill shouted over and over in unison. 

Bill ran and was greeted with glass or the mirror. 

You went to the opposite end to try to find another way to the child seeing as Bill was blocked all around. You knew this was Pennywise’s doing. “I know I can find him.” You were met with a dead end and tried to go back to Bill but you were enclosed in one area. “Bill!” You got frightened as you couldn’t go back to him. The side you were on was getting smaller and as you turned to your right you saw the little boy. 

“Y/n!” Bill screamed. He sprinted to you and the kid but was met with another glass. 

You saw Pennywise walk past you with a horrific smile on his face. “Bill I saw IT! IT’s here! He’s here!” Bill’s forehead pressed against the glass. He felt powerless. 

You placed your hand on the glass. “Whatever happens Bill promise me you will help that boy. Please.”

Bill started to panic as his breathing became harsh and tears were starting to fall from his eyes. You were his baby sister, he vowed to protect you all his life. “N-o y/n! N-n-no!” He tried breaking the glass. 

“What are you two doing here?” The kid was confused. “Both of you stop following me!”

“We’re only trying to help you,” you said. 

“I-I’m gonna g-get you both o-o-o-out.” Bill became more and more afraid. 

Suddenly, behind you and the child Pennywise laid his long tongue flat against the glass, licking up. The sight and noise was chilling. The face of the little boy’s was traumatic. 

“No stop. Stop!” Your whole body shook. 

“Please,” Bill cried some more feeling useless. 

“I’m here. I’m right here just t-take me,” Bill pleaded to Pennywise. 

Pennywise started to cackle as he hit the glass of yours and the boys with his head. 

“Son of a b*tch!’ Bill cursed. 

You screamed as Pennywise did it harder and faster. You and the boy both huddled by the corner of your glass rooms. Bill, repeatedly, tried breaking the glass. He tried with his hands, fists, feet, but nothing worked. Your eyes teared up as you saw the glass cracking with each blow Pennywise gave it. This was the end. It was either you or the kid and a hero puts the kid first. You gave a knowing look to Bill to remind him of what you asked for. 

Pennywise paused and gave a huge, demonic smile. “Billy boy, which one do you choose? The boy or your sister?”

“No Bill don’t do this. Remember what I told you.”

Bill screamed, “stop! No!”

“I am going to give you a riddle. If you guess right you save the kid but I kill your sister, if you guess wrong I save you sister but I kill the kid. You only get one try and if you don’t answer at all,” Pennywise smile grew, “I’ll kill them all.”

There was an argument going all around. Bill felt pressured and didn’t know what to do. He loved you more than life and needed to save you but the boy also needed saving. 

“Bill please, I’l be fine.” You smiled, tears falling down. 

“...fine. I’ll do your riddle.”

“The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?”

Bill thought in his head all the possibilities. 

“Bill choose-!”

“No helping him,” Pennywise shook his finger. “Time is ticking, what will it be? You only have one chance.”

One chance to choose the fate of the people in front of him. 

“A lie?” Bill asked. 

The world became quiet and Pennywise’s smile enlarged showing more teeth and fangs. “If only you said coffin.” Pennywise broke through the glass and ate the little boy right up. 

Blood splattering on the glass.

You and Bill screamed as the lights flickered showing a gone little boy who knew nothing of this nightmare and was purely innocent. 

“No,” you felt defeated, crying. You and Bill finally met up at the exit of the mirror rooms. 

“Oh my God,” Bill embraced you. Fighting the urge to sob uncontrollably. 

“I’m sorry Bill. If I didn’t leave you none of this would of happened.”

“Its not your fault.”

You remembered that boy. How scared he looked but yet there was hope in his eyes. Hope that the adults would save the day. The memory of his wine colored blood splattering on the glass flashed within your mind. You bent over a trash can to hurl. 

Bill patted your back, “that’s it. Let it out.” 

You couldn’t breathe. The drumming within your chest increased to a rapid pattern. You tried to search for a comfort object that your eyes could land on. The activity was busy at the carnival and made it worse for you. The noises, screams, cheers. Panic was bubbling in your gut and you were about to erupt like a volcano. “Bill.”

Bill knew that look. For Pete’s sake you were his sister! He pressured you to sit down and tuck your head in between your legs. “Breathe y/n. You’re okay. I’m here and I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

You did as you were told. Gripping onto Bill’s hand like when you were little and you ran to his room claiming you saw a monster under your bed. He would let you cry and console you. He was your calming system. You felt at home and safe with your big brother. Bill hugged you and you leaned your head against his shoulder. 

“Sometimes I think I’m crazy, that its all in my head.” You sniffled. Voice rough and scratchy from the screaming and crying. “Then IT does something like that that makes me see that its all real. That Bill, that is what scares me the most.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​, @reginalinettis​​​

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

I was thinking about Barry and I just started writing. This is the result. I'm an angsty bitch for Bill Hader.

Plot: I'm not sure whatever you want it to be

Warnings: wounds, language, death, probably a lot of grammar mistakes (sorry about that english isn't my first language and I wrote it in a rush)

-Hi-

-Uhm h-hi! -

-Can I help you? -

-No I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare-

-It's alright. I'm an actress, I like when people stare-

She smiled.

And he just knew she would be his ruin.

-Y/N I swear to god I'll leave you here-

-Then fucking leave! -

The place was surrounded. He could hear the syrens and the shouts of the cops right outside and their raging footsteps down the hall. There was only one way out and it was through that damn door a few feet away from them. And she refused to step through it.

-What do you think you're doing they're onto us! -

Y/N loaded her gun. -I'm gonna do what I was paied for-

-Y/N we're out of time- he gestured toward the broken window from which filtered a white light.

-We gotta run-

-I don't run Barry. I'm not like you-

Barry's chest heavied up and down as he stood in shock. The words made his stomach twist as she walked toward the staircase.

-Y/N! - he called.

She turned around, her face stone cold.

-Please- he begged.

-Go-

-I'm serious Y/N- he tried again. He could hear an imaginary clock ticking ever so fast.

-Me too-

-Y/N I swear to god I'll leave you here! -

-Then fucking leave! -

Barry's face was screwed in an expression of anger and hurt.

-Get to the back, let's move! -

The voices were almost there. The door was so close he just needed to take  a few step away from her.

He gave her one last look as she turned around. He swore he could see regret in her eyes for a friction of second. But she had made her choice. She had always been so stubborn.

-I'm gonna be with you forever-

Her cherry lips whispered against his skin.

-Why would you do that to yourself? - he replied. He wasn't joking.

-Because you make me happy-

That was it, right? If a person makes you happy, you stay with them. You hold on to them for dear life because there's only a few things that make you feel like that in life and they're one of them. Even if it means they'll eventually destroy you. Even if they'll break your heart. Even if they'll get you killed.

A gun shot.

-Barry?! What the hell are you doing?! -

-I'm covering you-

The shouts were coming from every corner and beyond. The bullets were leaving marks on the wall. The guns in their hands felt like they were burning just as much as the adrenaline in their veins.

-You're not suppose to be here-

-That's where you're wrong- he said, and it felt like the bullets had stopped.

-I was suppose to be here, next to you a long time ago and I didn't. But I'm here now and I'm not leaving you-

Her eyes watered and he smiled.

And then a bulled hit his chest, fast and hard and hot and painful. And she screamed.

If you love somebody you'd be ready to die for them. But Barry wanted to live.

He had never been too worried about death, he was too good to die. But right now, feeling his blood rushing out of his body and his gun heavy in his hand, he was scared. Scared that he wouldn't be able to see her ever again, to touch her face to kiss her in the morning and in the night and before or after a job or in the backstage before a play or whenever and wherever he wanted to. And he was scared that they would take her.

So as he felt his knees wiggle and give out, he looked at her and her tear strained face and with the last of his strength he pointed the gun at the closest cop and whispered:

-Run-

Did she? Did she run away? Was she already out the door?

He couldn't tell. Everything went dark. And the last thing he saw were those cherry lips, screaming his name.

I am stressing TF out about the election so, as a measure of distraction...

I’m going to talk about the list of 200+ films from Bill Hader’s Collider interview that influenced him as a filmmaker.  I’ve seen around 45 of them, which seems like practically nothing, but fam... these movies are obscure AF, so I’m proud of that number. 😂

There are around 170 that I have left to see and then a handful that I’ve seen but don’t remember much and want to rewatch (I’m not sure how to categorize those).

I’m obviously not going to talk about them all but I’d like to make some comments about the ones that have stood out to me. 🌟 Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure - This is one of my all time favorite movies. I only have two tattoos and the first one I ever got is, “I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.” I was so fuckin’ pumped to see this on his list, y’all don’t even know. It gave me a boner in my heart.

🌟 Others on the list that made me happy: Pan’s Labyrinth, Paper Moon, Silence of the Lambs, Rosemary’s Baby, Shaun of the Dead, Jackie Brown, APOCALYPTO!  ....y’all don’t even know about Apocalypto... fucking great one, man! Alien... all he needed was Eraserhead and that would have been my babyshower (Eraserhead, Alien, and Rosemary’s Baby was my theme 😬) 🌟 Watching through some of these like The Burbs (I enjoyed quite a lot), Airplane (disliked, but less than I thought) - it’s easy to feel nostalgic for the time period. It takes me back to my childhood and I love the inclusion of those. I need to rewatch Parenthood but I think that’ll hit the same.  🌟 Ivan’s Childhood - HOLY FUCKING SHIT! It was like a visual orgasm the entire time. I just can’t believe a film like that has existed for nearly 60 years and I was unaware of it. Like Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and Metropolis get a lot of attention, but where the fuck have I been to not know about this one?! Jesus. I can’t even put into words how beautiful this film is.

🌟 Bill Hader talks a bit about Cassavetes films in interviews so I decided to watch Faces before A Woman Under the Influence. I could not stop thinking about Faces for days (weeks) after. I adore that film. It feels like it captures such an authentic voice of the time and Gena Rowlands was amazing (in both). In A Woman- I have a long history of working with people with mental health issues and I also found this to be authentic, however, the “unsettling”-ness that I think the average viewer feels while watching it was just lost on me. I watched it feeling, “Well, that’s just a Tuesday for me.” Great representation (nothing alike, but I was reminded of Short Term 12 while watching) and still holds up. Rowlands is amazing and I’m immensely looking forward to watching more Cassavetes films! 🌟 The Act of Killing - Wow! I don’t know what to say about this but it’s interesting how you can pick up what he took from this and uses in Barry. This one is psychologically fascinating and emotionally gutting. 

Squid’s IT 2019 Experience

Ok. So. IT 2019 happened September 14th, at 7:15, with @captain-the-foxx and @shadowydarklight, after watching the first movie together. And OH BOY, my FEELINGS. (Also I’m going to try to stay chronological but my memory is SHIT and I’ve only seen this once, so pls forgive me)

I knew the Adrian and Don scene was coming. And it was still rough. I thought people were playing it up a bit, but nope. Our theater had this atmosphere during the whole scene, and it was uncomfortable (also there were no vocal homophobes, which I’m thankful for)

The CGI when Pennywise bites Adrian is... not great.

I love Bill being a dick in his intro scene 👏 I mean, it’s awful, but I love the book continuity. I wish we could’ve gotten more Audra ://

Eddie crashing his car, proving gays can’t drive. And calling his wife mommy. Poetic cinema

I can relate HELLA to Richie being a nervous puker. Me fuckin too, man. Me fuckin too.

Kid Ben from the miniseries is working with Ben!! I love!!

Our theater cheered when Bev left Tom. It was amazing, and I stan

We knew Stan was going to die. And it still hurted. Him seeing Bill before he dies? HURTED.

Also the transitions at the beginning here? Beautiful. Stunning. Flawless.

The entire Jade of the Orient scene was great. I love the CGI and “monsters”, the chemistry was so much like the kids, all the Reddie, Richie doing a Voice, the eye. Perfect

Eddie and Richie trying to elope leave Derry at the same time

That scene with Vicky(?) under the bleachers was beautiful. Give Skarsgård all the awards. Idc. I’ll be Pennywise’s friend.

Zombie Patrick helping Henry break out. I just. Damn. That scared quite a few people

Mike drugging Bill? Damn man. I loved that whole segment with the tribe, it looked so cool. More nods to birds, which I will always love

Ok so I heard some VERY mixed reactions to the CGI on the kids and their voices. It wasn’t bad at all, I think. I noticed it the most on Finn (Richie) and Jeremy (Ben), but it was also very easy to ignore. Their voices were fine

hdjshdiesjdhsjehe kid!Eddie became so chaotic what happened it’s like him and Richie switched roles

Everyone going into and leaving the townhouse feels like a sitcom tbh and I’m not sure if it was tiring or funny

We got the walking tours, kind of, and I’m so happy!!!! King’s cameo, we still got a “kiss me, fat boy!” the ENTIRETY of Richie’s scene, the leper French Kissing Eddie’s mom (and Eddie strangling IT), and, of course, Kersh. So good.

Stan got his bar mitzvah scene I can’t 😭

Eddie 👏 stabbing 👏 Bowers 👏 and 👏 roasting 👏 him 👏 And I STARTED AN APPLAUSE FOR IT!! Go me, Reddie Rights 😂 (btw Eddie is amazing in this we stan a gay who will throw hands)

Give Mike a break 2k19 feat. Bowers coming to shank him

I, again, relate to Richie vomiting when he gets stressed

YO THEY FUCKIN KILLED DEAN WHAT THE FU—

Ok so I been knew they’d see Stan but like. I wasn’t prepared for them to stab it.

Jay Ryan’s abs. That is all.

Eddie freezing and apologizing hurts ;;-;;

“You’re braver than you think” just. Stabbed me in the chest. I turned to @captain-the-foxx and said “Eddie’s going to be brave, save Richie, then get killed” and it fuckin happened.

ok so like. the cgi on all the monsters just. ain’t it chief. am sorry. I like the designs in theory, but like. Oof.

THEY MADE THE SPIDER COOL THEY FUCKIN MADE THE SPIDER LOOK AMAZING

“That’s not gunna burn” fuckin tell them Eddie

Bill as Pennywise, kinda? Poetic cinema

Benverly 👏

Richie and Eddie leave Derry together and get a Pomeranian that’s canon

“You’re a sloppy bitch!” will be my last sentence

I been knew Eddie was going to die but like. The way Richie and Eddie look at each other and say each other’s names as it happens just. It hurts man

I love that you can just bully Pennywise to death. Also that heterochromia tho

Give Bill Hader all the awards for that scene. Now.

Richie being the only person to not be joking hurt my soul in such a deep way guys

That ending speech just. My fuckin heart, Andy. Stop.

never got over him (richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak)

(a/n: I’ve never written a true reddie fic, but bill hader’s outstanding performance drove me to write this super, super sad fic. let me know what you think!)

“And you never knew How much I really liked you Because I never even told you Oh, but I meant to Are you still there?” - Back to the Old House / The Smiths

It was months ago. It was months ago and you still couldn’t shake it.

You hadn’t met anybody else; and maybe that’s why you always thought it was a passing phase, never wanted to “come out with it”, because Eddie was the only man who’d ever made you feel like you could truly love a man. Like you could live forever with him, only the two of you, bantering til you both died.

He died without you, and every day since you half wished you didn’t make it out of that pit either.

Sometimes it was a full desire you had to suppress. Sometimes you couldn’t suppress it. As the days went by, the weight became heavier.

One day, it was finally too much to carry.

_____________________________________________

“So when are you gonna come out with it?”

Thomas, a fellow comedian, asked you late at night in your apartment. Cigarette smoke poured from his mouth and shone blue in the moonlight from the adjacent window.

The question was rarely asked, but when it was suddenly presented to you out of the blue, you reverted right back to your childhood disgust like a bad mental reflex. Anxiety filled your lungs and bubbled out of your throat and spilled out your mouth.

“... Come out with what?”

Thomas took another drag, staring at you with those sharp blue-grey eyes of his. You always had a fondness for them; their raw intensity juxtaposed with his comical nature.

“I mean, like knows like. I know this is something you bury under jokes. We all learned to laugh rather than cry about things we’re afraid of, things we’re insecure about. I’m just wondering, since you’re only getting older… Since we’re only getting older, when you’re hoping to... You know. Open that door. Especially now that people are more accepting. I know when we were kids… It was harder to do.”

Thomas only wanted to help. You were sure of that. But it didn’t feel helpful.

“I don’t…” You scoffed in a laugh, a bitter taste in your throat. “I didn’t realize you worked for the CIA, this interrogation is top notch, Tom, really-”

“Rich,” He interrupted with a smile. “Come on. It’s me.”

There was silence for a moment, before he spoke once more.

“You had a friend, I thought, who just passed. You were talking about him the other night shitfaced. His name was… Eddie? I think?”

You stared at him, emotions flowing through you like the gushing water from a violently burst dam. You furrowed your eyebrows, taking a sharp inhale.

You hated talking about him like this. When he died, it felt like he became an imaginary friend that belonged only to you. No one else could keep the privilege of knowing him like you did. Not his mother, not his widowed wife. Not even the other Losers.

Thomas wouldn’t understand. No one would.

“Yeah. Eddie. Kaspbrak.” You muttered, voice wavering slightly as you felt your chest tighten.

_____________________________________________

There was never a specific moment that you fell in love, only a moment in which you had verification for sure that you truly were in love the whole time. Every moment around Eddie afterward was either heaven or agony.

“Eds. Either take that ridiculous fucking shower cap off, or go home and shower.”

Eddie scoffed, that short, cute way he would anytime you said anything to him.

“I’m not letting ceiling dirt or hungry bugs into my hair just cuz my cap annoys you. Stan told me he didn’t wear his one time, and the next day it was like he had dirt dandruff for a week.”

It made you let out a laugh. Butterflies followed.

“Wow. I’ll have to ask him how the ‘hungry bugs’ affected his fro.”

“Well, you won’t have to ask me about my hair.” Eddie was reading a comic book in the hammock, legs hanging off the side.

“Take it off.”

“I will not.”

“Eddie.”

“Fuck off!” He squeaked. “It stays on. This place is dirty as hell.”

You got up out of your seat and reached for the cap, but Eddie was quicker and backed up onto the edge of the hammock.

“Stay away!”

“I warned you, Eddie!”

“No! No you didn’t, actually-”

The two of you began to wrestle, you aiming towards the head, him aiming at your stomach.

“Fuck! Don’t tickle me!” You cried, unable to keep the smile off your face, or the laughter out of your mouth.

“I’ll do what I have to do!” Eddie yelled.

“I am the fashion police, take off the fucking shower cap!”

“Don’t infringe upon my clubhouse rights!” He quickly cried.

“I’m not infringing! I have a warrant!”

“A warrant?” He loudly repeated in surprise, the two of you laughing hysterically, so much so that neither of you noticed you were about to slip off the edge of the hammock and onto the floor.

When you did, landing on both the hard ground and each other, the laughter petered into groans.

“You idiot.” Eddie croaked, sitting up and holding his shower cap against his head.

You sat up and looked at him with a smile, and the two of you, lightly intertwined, sitting awfully close, looked into each other’s eyes. Your smiles slowly faded into hesitant expressions, waiting for something that the two of you knew would never come.

That’s when it hit you. That’s when you knew that you really, truly, did love him. The worst part of it was that you knew there’d be no escaping it.

Even when neither of you had the courage to lean forward just a few inches and kiss, or to spill the fact that you might want to be more than friends - even though the two of you were totally alone, for the first time in a long time - you knew nothing could come of it. What if he didn’t want you back? There was no way. It’d ruin the friendship you held above everything else.

“Fuck.” You thought, and realized a second later that you muttered it out loud.

Eddie immediately scoffed, sarcastically smiling. Behind his eyes you could see a type of fear that you knew too well. “What?”

In a last ditch effort to change the subject, you quickly snatched the cap from off of his head and shouted “Gotcha!” in his face, getting up as quickly as you could and racing up the clubhouse stairs.

“You dick!” Eddie laughed, racing after you.

27 years later, you relived this moment every day in your mind, even if just for a moment or two.

_____________________________________________

The memory you wished you could never relive, but did all the time, were the last moments of Eddie’s life. Him hovering over you, excited as all hell that he rescued you from the deadlights, that he killed the monster by himself just because he believed he could. Bev told him, apparently, that that’s all it took.

Bev wasn’t wrong. You didn’t resent her for telling him that, not really. Maybe his belief wavered. Maybe he got lost in the excitement and in your eyes and maybe the two of you lived in a cruel fucking world where aliens can kill innocent people for centuries until there’s no other perfectly innocent children or people to kill, only a bunch of broken adults that made a pact long ago.

Eddie wasn’t broken yet. Neither were you, really. Not until that moment.

_____________________________________________

This wasn’t really stuff you could tell a shrink. You, of course, tried - because there was nothing else to do. You had to talk about it to somebody. Sitting in your apartment for days on end smoking cigarettes and crying to yourself trying to make up jokes wasn’t doing shit for anybody, especially you.

“And… And he died, while the rest of us were busy taunting this… Clown alien thing that terrorized us as kids. And we go back, after it’s all said and done, the clown is dead, we, uh… We ripped up his heart, and…”

This part of the story was always too much to tell. You hated crying in front of people, but there was no avoiding the pain that this memory conjured.

“And…”

Fuck. You couldn’t even finish the story. The older woman before you wearing old-timey glasses and that critical, confused expression she always had on barely blinked as she stared. You sniffled, wiping the tears from your eyes. It actually felt like your heart was vomiting up feelings.

“And I come back to tell him the news, how we did it, how we didn’t have to worry anymore, and… He’d have been so happy, I knew he would be… And he has this dumb, not… Not-there expression on his face. And I try to wake him up, and sure, I thought he lost a lot of blood, but I didn’t… I didn’t think he’d…”

It was too much to bear. Your level-headed volume of speech bordered hysterical as you remembered that fateful day.

“We left him. We left him down there. I still…. I can’t believe he’s still down there. And always will be. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And he’s gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I fucking miss him… So much. It’s all I can think about since it happened.”

There was a long moment of silence, Dr. Elbert staring at you with pained eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You breathlessly bid, wiping your face. She adjusted her seat.

“No, no, don’t be sorry, Richie, I’m glad you’re talking about all this.”

She scribbled a note down on her pad before looking back up at you with a smile.

“This dream was so traumatizing, but it lets us in on what you’re truly feeling, and that’s the best part. I’m glad you’re opening up about it, because we get to see what your mind is trying to tell you. This is pain, so deeply rooted inside you that it’s the most vivid within your subconscious, and you feel these invented experiences to the point where it seems like reality. Eddie, who’s killed right in front of you, is the subject that triggered your first realization of your sexuality. You didn’t get to be with him at such a critical time, moments before his death in the dream, and together with him in real life - because you were busy killing an entity that ruined your childhood and poisoned the rest of your life with undeserved shame. The bullying you experienced, Richie, IS that monster. You’re trying to bury the pain, you’re trying to eradicate the negativity that you’ve been tortured with all this time. And after you no longer feel that pain, after you killed the shame, you feel free to finally be with him, it’s too late - he’s gone. Do you see what I’m getting at? You’re so focused on that shame, too embarrassed of it to let it exist for another second longer... that you let the love of your life go. And you feel so guilty about it that it manifests in your dreams.”

She scribbled another note on her notepad.

“Was this dream only a one-time dream three months back, or is it recurring? Oh, and have you mentioned this dream to Eddie at all?” She lifted her gaze to meet yours, pen ready to write, hovering above the paper.

You stared at her through deadened eyes half filled with tears. You took a deep breath in.

“Is our hour up, yet?” You asked, bitterly.

___________________________________________

It was so late at night and you didn’t want to call him. You didn’t want to need anybody. You didn’t want to have panic attacks or dreams that triggered them at three in the morning. But it turned out, at least in the moment, that you were that person.

Eddie was an adult - usually in your dreams, he was a boy, and so were you. But now he was older, and so were you. However, not forty, but thirty. Eddie’s forehead lines that you loved to see when he lifted his brows in surprise were dulled by youth, a youth you never got to be apart of in life. His hair was combed neatly the way it always was and it shone chestnut in the sunlight, and the pigeons in the park walked around your picnic blanket, and you waved them away from the sandwiches and fruits scattered in front of you.

“Hey, back off, assholes, no one invited you!” You hollered, and most of the pests flew away.

“One of these birds is gonna shit all over our food, I just know it. There’s a million of them out here.” Eddie muttered.

You scoffed. “Eds, why are you always worried about everything? If you eat the food rather than talk about how worried you are, nothing bad like that can happen.”

He smiled at you. “Wow. I forgot you were the ultimate optimist.”

You shrugged. “Well, yeah, a pigeon could ruin everything, but not really. We’d just go get takeout or something. The walk would probably be nice.”

For a moment, all you could hear were the muffled noises of the city, cars and talking people and laughing kids and chirping of chickadees.

You looked at Eddie tenderly. He was the most handsome you’d ever seen him.

“Nothing could ruin our time. Cuz it’s our time. I get to be with you, and...”

Eddie stared at you with a smile so genuine it warmed your heart. Sunlight touched beneath your skin for the very first time.

“You really feel that way?” He asked, barely concealing excitement.

You let out a laugh. You couldn’t believe he didn’t see.

“Eddie, I love you. I’ve… I’ve loved you since we were kids. I can’t get enough of you. Really. Don’t you know that by now?”

It looked like you’d given him a deed to Disneyland. He smiled and looked down.

“I just wanted to hear you say it. I… I never got to hear you say it, did I?”

It felt like a crack suddenly split into your heart.

“What do you mean?” You asked, fear in your tone.

He began to tear up, and it ran the crack in your quickly beating heart right through.

“I, uh… I didn’t get to hear you admit it. Until now, but now it’s too late, and… I miss you, and I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you, either. I love you, I love you, I’m sorry.” Eddie’s words jumbled and melted into tears, and in a rush of sadness you reached out and held his face, over the picnic basket that you shoved to the side, getting on your knees and crawling over to him.

“Eddie, stop.” You said, now tearing up yourself. “Stop. We’re here now, and even if it’s just right now, right now is real, because we’re both here. It’s real. And we love each other. And we both know we do.”

“But it’s too late!” He interjected, looking at you with those big sad brown eyes you’d fallen in love with so many years ago. “We waited too long! We forgot about each other! And we-”

You quickly kissed him. It was the embrace you’d always waited for, that you’ve always been too scared to administer yourself. Finally, it was happening, and he was kissing you back with all the emotion you knew he’d withheld all that time, matching your long unrequited love.

You’d always dreamed that he’d really loved you back. Your happiness was unparalleled.

He grabbed the back of your head and you put your hand to the side of his neck, pressing into the kiss.

It was the greatest kiss you’d ever had, until it was over.

You woke up cold, shivering in the sheets of your king sized bed, alone in LA in the dark.

It was raining outside. 

It never rained in California.

You didn’t want to call him. You really didn’t. But ten minutes of bawling your eyes out and feeling like your heart was ready to explode was too much to do alone, so late at night. This was the final straw. You had to get over Eddie. You had to let him go.

“I’m so sorry I woke you up, I didn’t want to wake you up,” You spoke, words rushing out one after the other to try and apologize to Thomas, who walked inside from the pouring rain. “I, I j-just had the worst-”

He quickly pulled you into a hug, and though it had that wet, unpleasant feeling to it from the rain, it was the warmest embrace you’d felt since you’d hugged Eddie, just months before.

You unloaded, crying hysterically into his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” You sobbed, his jacket muffling your cry.

He ran a hand through your hair, holding you close, holding you tightly.

“No, Rich. I’m sorry.”

__________________________________________

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs Review

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs never fails to put a smile on my face. It has some clever jokes with some sweet messages about being yourself and solving world hunger. It's a very silly, over-the-top film but unlike most films like this, it actually has a lot of quiet moments like with the father-son dynamic, a few touching scenes, and a lot of development to the characters as well.

While the story may start off as cliched, it has a unique concept about an inventor who uses water to create food to help his impoverished town. I also loved his relationship with his father, even if the whole "parent doesn't want child to follow his dreams" thing is common in films, the child here is around young adult age, the age where people should be allowed to be independent and free and the relationship with his dad shows that some adults can be restricted in what they want to do. This happened with me and my mom so I found that relatable.

I also didn't mind the misunderstood inventor who keeps failing story. Yes, it's cliched but it goes along with the theme about being yourself, embracing your creativity, and keep trying even if you fail. A few things I didn't like about the story were the romance and third act. I thought Flint's repetitive attempts at kissing Sam were absurdly forced and at awkward moments that came out of nowhere since they just met each other and people aren't usually that brave enough to kiss their crush without built-up romantic tension. I love that Jello House scene though, I wish that was an actual attraction. I also didn't like the third act, I thought the whole thing about getting the kill code kind of dragged and the whole third act was very anticlimatic.

The voice cast from Bill Hader to Anna Faris to Mr. T really made the characters. I thought almost all of the characters were well-rounded. There were some that we enjoyed and some that we love to hate such as the mayor and Baby Brent. Flint is such a positive guy, he's altruistic, excitable, creative, intelligent, and passionate. I liked how Sam goes from being a dumb blonde to a girl who learns to embrace her intelligence and her passion for science. Earl is funny, he's serious about his job and I like how they used a more doting relationship between him and his son to contrast Flint and Tim's more estranged relationship. Even Tim, who disapproves of our protagonist's dream, means well and just cares about his son but has trouble expressing his feelings. He finds inventing harmful to Flint and I find that sympathetic. I didn't understand how people initially liked Brent being in his underwear as an adult but even if he was a hateful character, gets some major character development by the end, becomes useful to the plot, and becomes a more likeable character.

The only character that I couldn't care for was Steve, I thought he was the least developed character. He's static and added very little to the plot other than to be comic relief. He, like most monkeys is an annoying little troublemaker and I'm also against monkeys being kept as pets which is a cliche as well. He likes ripping off mustaches for some reason that they never explained and he has no backstory. I don't think he has any appeal for anyone over the age of 7 considering that I watched the movie when I was 11 and didn't like him then.

I didn't care for the looney tunes style animation and the ridiculous designs on Flint and Tim. It would've looked okay on a nickelodeon tv show but not on a CGI feature film.

I also wasn't a fan of the end credits scene, I thought it was really weird but just listen to Raining Sunshine, it's very catchy and really shows how happy the film is.

I give this movie a 7/10. I would've gave it an 8/10 if Steve hadn't overstayed his welcome. Just make sure you eat while you watch it.

Bill Hader has become a household name because of his years as an actor on “Saturday Night Live” or from his role in “Trainwreck.” Recently, however, Hader has created a TV show called “Barry” on HBO with Alec Berg. “Barry” follows the story of Barry Berkman, played by Hader, a trained assassin-turned-actor. Hader and Berg recently spoke with The Lantern and various other college newspapers to talk about “Barry,” performance anxiety and his favorite moment since starting “Barry.”

Q: I was reading an article about how your performance anxiety on “Saturday Night Live” came into play during “Barry.” How did you connect the two?

BH: Well, basically it was just this idea that when I was on “SNL” I did this weird thing where I had this ability to do impressions and voices and things like that. But I was not very emotionally and mentally equipped to be doing live television. It would really freak me out, I would have really bad panic attacks and anxiety about that. And so I was telling Alec about that, it was funny the thing that you’re good at is kind of weirdly destroying you, you know? It wasn’t the show’s fault or anything, it was me just having really bad anxiety about going on live television and it was making me sick. It was really hard on me. And so then Alec said, “conversely, what if that person wanted to do something, but it was a thing they were bad at?”

Q: So what are some challenges that come along with being so involved with [“Barry”], with writing, starring, producing, co-creating and so on?

BH: I mean I enjoy all of it and it’s all a lot of fun, I mean I will say all of that is still easier than being a cast member on “Saturday Night Live”….But it’s a lot of fun. To be honest, it’s a boring answer but it’s just taking care of myself. You try and get enough sleep, eat well, don’t drink too much coffee, work out. It sounds silly but it really is just taking care of yourself. I meditate. Just things like that to just calm your brain down to focus. And also, you don’t take it all as one giant chunk of stuff. You just take it day by day. You go into the writer’s room and I kind of enter into it going, “OK, today we’ll probably talk about a lot of things but today I would like to focus on this.” Just manageable bites of it... When you’re acting, you go, “Oh no I’m just focusing on today’s scenes, not next week’s”... and then it’s kind of like this weird feeling of doing a lot of work and prepping so you don’t have to take it that seriously when you’re there, you can be loose and throw it all out if you need to.

Q: Where did the idea of “Barry” come from and when did you two start working on this project together?

AB: We pitched the pilot in October [2014] so we had probably been working on it for close to six months before that. We kind of knew each other from comedy circles … it was sort of like the winds were pushing us together. We had another idea for a television show that didn’t work out and pretty quickly after we threw that one away, we landed on the idea of being really gifted at something but deriving no pleasure from it, versus, “Oh I might be terrible at this but I love it.” Which should you pursue, and are you a prisoner of your gift? We thought all that stuff was pretty interesting. Pretty quickly we landed on what if this guy was really good at killing people but he hates it, and what he wanted to do was act? We started finding all these really interesting parallels almost immediately. If you’re a hitman you have to live in the shadows, and be anonymous and live in the shadows. But if you’re an actor, you literally have to stand in the light and … if you’re successful you’re going to be very well known. We were finding all these really interesting parallels between these two worlds.

Q: I’m wondering if...you have a favorite memory [from “Barry”]?

BH: I remember watching the first rough cut of the pilot and showing Alec … and I had never directed before and I just thought, “This is terrible.” And I remember Alec was so excited watching the pilot and going, “We got something really good here.” And then he cut 15 minutes out of [the rough cut], and it got better … And then [HBO] was gonna watch the pilot and we thought, “Oh they’re gonna watch the pilot and have a lot of notes.” Then the heads of HBO came and watched it and were like “Yeah, that was awesome. That was great.” I just remember thinking, “Even if they don’t pick this up, at least I know I can direct something” –– New episodes of “Barry” air on HBO every Sunday.

I Like to Watch | IT Chapter 2

By Don Hall

I love the writing of Stephen King. I am, as one would say, a superfan.

I recall long road trips with my mom and sister when I would sit in the back seat of the car, plugged into my Sony Walkman listening to Maynard Ferguson, pouring through ‘Salem’s Lot, The Shining, and, of course, The Stand. A strange intersection because of that experience is that now, whenever I listen to Maynard Ferguson, it evokes a sense of low-grade dread and a soundtrack more suited to horror than big band jazz.

Along with my deep dives into the world of Castle Rock and Derry, I grew up dealing with poverty, bullying because I was both perpetually the new kid at school, domestic abuse by my first stepfather, an aversion to Church, a built-in disdain for the wealthy, and a need to provoke as much as inform. My childhood was not ideal in a textbook sort of way but taking the time to put those experiences in perspective, contextualizing them, and hoping they don’t lead me around like a dirty Pied Piper is a daily journey.

In 1990, ABC aired a two-part, three-hour movie event featuring the inimitable Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown that I thought was a pretty excellent adaptation of the much loved novel. Curry was creepy and charismatic and, I’d argue, it was his voice — that rich, amazing baritone and the way he curled his mouth around his words — that stuck with me in best nightmarish sense.

Jumping to 2017, when New Line Cinema came out with Andy Muschietti’s version, I was thrilled to check it out and IT did not disappoint. Using CGI to great effect and replacing the Shakespearean clown of Curry with the snake-like, leering Pennywise of Bill Skarsgård, the 2017 remake was truly terrifying, fun in that jump scare sort of way, and primed me for the return of The Losers Club as adults in the 2019 follow-up.

In 1986, when the novel came out, I was just out of high school, the book was very much about the clown and terrors of being a kid in an increasingly dangerous world. It wasn’t that the world was somehow more dangerous for me in the ’80s than it was for my mother or my grandfather in their coming-of-age times but it seemed that way to me. Pennywise was some fucking scary shit up until King revealed in the book’s conclusion that he was just a giant psychic spider.

Four years later, as a recently graduated college student figuring out how to live in Chicago, the ABC version was less scary but still exciting. I felt I was all grown up, that I had a handle on things, that my understanding of the world was fully formed. I thought I could relate to the adult versions of The Losers Club. The story was still, however, about the clown.

This week, I headed over to Palace Station (a casino about five minutes walk from my apartment), got a huge beer, some popcorn, and settled in to watch the follow-up to the remake. I had read some squawk about how it wasn’t scary enough and that it was too long (the former is irrelevant and the latter is absolutely true).

Quick thoughts: Bill Hader is excellent and owns every frame he is in. The rest of the cast is uniformly good. The production is both funny and well done. Skarsgård is creepy and malevolent as the clown. 

It occurred to me about a third of the way into the film that this second half of the story isn’t about the clown, it’s about the people fighting the clown. As an older man, it hit me that this second act of The Losers Club was about adults suddenly being forced to deal with how their past shapes their present in both conscious and unconscious ways.

It’s about Bev (the always awesome Jessica Chastain) dealing with the effects of her abusive father on her choices to be with men who abuse her. It’s about Ben (a serviceable Jay Ryan) going from traumatized fat kid to buff architect. Bill becoming a writer who can’t seem to conjure up a decent ending to his stories. Mike (the under-utilized Isaiah Mustafa) being the one member of the gang who stayed reliving the trauma of evil while his white friends conveniently are allowed to forget.

IT Chapter 2 is about the trials of growing up tailor the life of the grown. Sure, these specific kids grew up having defeated a serial killing apparition of pure evil, so that certainly comes into play. It is not about the clown except in that the clown was a traumatic experience writ larger than life. As children, they learned that facing their fear head on and refusing it purchase was the way to defeat it yet the lesson never quite took hold once they grew up and away.

In that way, this film is even scarier but on a wholly existential perspective. It holds true that our childhood forms who we are as adults and that our choices today are perched upon the choices and consequences of choices made for us, around us, and by us in those formative years. Confronting those horrifying experiences and choosing different paths is the road to adulthood and so many of the adults in this very America society have yet to confront their killer clown.

Finally, with CGI, making the clown a spider with the head of Bill Skarsgård fixed the ending.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #242 - Paul (2011)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue for this movie is particularly strong. For one thing, the name of the dog, “Paul,” stands out. It’s hard to watch this movie without knowing the title. And it shows that the film isn’t just making fun of sci-fi but playing in the genre. There’s a nice sense of atmosphere to the short prologue and it poses many interesting questions. Namely: what the hell just crashed on earth?

2) I appreciate how earnest Simon Pegg and Nick Frost come across as nerds in the movie. So often people who are enthusiastic about pop culture are portrayed as the joke, their existence is a joke. But with Graeme and Clive yes they can be funny but the joke isn’t the simple idea of, “Look at how funny the nerds are!”

3) Another line of humor I appreciate in the film is that while Graeme and Clive are often mistaken to be a couple, they’re never really uncomfortable with people thinking they’re gay unless they are in a situation with some homophobic assholes. And in that case the discomfort isn’t the threat to their masculinity but the threat to their safety. It’s a nice distinction from how these types of storylines typically go.

4) Look, do I even need to talk about the on screen chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? They have proved it countless times across film and television. They’re a legendary on screen duo. Abbott & Costello, Fred & Ginger, Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor, now Simon Pegg & Nick Frost. They’re great together always, even when the films may be a little less than stellar they are not. And Paul is no exception. Their chemistry is on point, they’re as strong alone as they are together, it just works. We spend enough time with their characters before Paul shows up that we clearly understand the relationship, something which is not only the result of strong writing but strong acting as well.

5) The waitress played by Jane Lynch is wonderfully supportive of the duo’s nerdy nature. She doesn’t make fun of them for their interests, she doesn’t see it as odd. She encourages it! And even when the two jackasses show up she’s supportive and only suggests they leave because she knows the bearded truckers could start trouble. I really like that.

6) Seth Rogen as Paul.

Being the titular character of a movie carries a to of weight with it. You have to be the most memorable part of the movie. Think of Beetlejuice, for example. That’s a lot to live up to. Our intro to Paul shows off much of his character and his down to earth nature (no pun intended). We get introduced to his crude and profane language, his sense of humor, and even a little bit of his heart. It is the latter of these things which helps make Paul a character and not just a gag. You understand his intentions, what he wants, what motivates him, and you can relate. It’s a bit of E.T., actually. He just wants to go home. We get to especially see this when interacting with Blythe Danner’s character later in the film, how vulnerable he allows himself to be and how he grows to care about the safety of others.

Seth Rogen nails it as the character. Rogen is no stranger to voice over work and sometimes I honestly forget I’m listening to him. This isn’t because he does anything particularly tricky to disguise his voice, but just because it fits all the above mentioned characteristics of the alien so well. It just works and I think the film is better for Rogen’s casting.

7) Jason Bateman as Agent Zoyle is a fun addition to the movie. Bateman plays the character as reserved and intensely focused, a straight man to some of his more chaotic counterparts. That’s where most of the humor comes from and Bateman’s precision with the role only benefits it.

8) Joe Lo Truglio and Bill Hader have a fun chemistry in this film and add a nice amount of life to the movie. They have fun with their characters and each other making it all the more fun to watch.

9) This film is just dripping with references to great sci-fi films, some subtle and some not so subtle.

Paul [asking for food at a gas station]: “Hey! Reese’s Pieces!”

10) Chekov’s dead bird.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Paul showcasing his ability to heal things, even partially, sets up an important alien power of his that also leads to a great gag with his little snack.

11) The film does well with giving each character their own personality and arc. Bill Hader’s character specifically gets a well written storyline of drive and upward mobility. Not everyone would think to give him that storyline.

12) I like Paul’s planet.

Paul: “Everyone’s bi on my planet.”

13) I’m a sucker for these kinds of jokes. Specifically, how Paul was SUCH an influence on pop culture. That the stereotypical alien look came from his face so people wouldn’t freak out so much when they saw him, that he talked to Steven Spielberg (who does a voice over cameo as himself) about E.T., or that, “Agent Mulder was my idea!” I dig it.

14) Kristen Wiig as Ruth.

Wiig is charming and sweet in her portrayal of Ruth. She’s a nice addition to the film and is able to hold her own against the chemistry between Pegg and Frost. She doesn’t feel out of place or tacked on, even getting a really great arc of her own (scientific?) awakening. I appreciate that.

15) On a more personal note, I disagree with the idea that there has to be this complete divide between religion and science as the film largely presents it. You’re either one or the other which to me doesn’t make a ton of sense. Not to get too into my own personal beliefs but I believe in the idea of a creator behind the universe but that doesn’t undermine things like evolution or the big bang or anything else. But I think I’m getting off track.

16) There are some surprisingly strong action scenes in the movie. Often comedy that fall into a subgenre like sci-fi or fantasy rely heavily more on the comedy then set pieces. There’s nothing wrong with that if pulled off well, I just always forget that Paul has a number of well paced chase and action sequences too.

17) I like that the film takes time to develop the relationships with Clive and Paul as well as Graeme and Ruth. They fell organic, natural, and they’re not static either they grow and change. I like it.

18) It took me a while to understand this joke because I didn’t know what Mac & Me was.

Clive: Ever since I saw Mac and Me, I've dreamed about meeting you!

For those who don’t know, Mac and Me is basically an ET rip-off that is often listed as one of the worst films ever made that some see more as a commercial for McDonald’s and Coca Cola than a film.

Also that thing is creepy as hell.

19) Ruth trying out profanity throughout the course of the movie is fun to watch and actually, now that I think about it, mirrors my own attempts with cursing as a kid.

20) At its core, Paul is a fun road trip movie. It’s about going somewhere but it’s also about the journey. The trouble you face on the road and the friends you have to see you through it. It just also involves aliens and the government.

21) The country bar version of “Cantina Band” is nice.

22) I think the bar scene works because it’s basically the eye of the shitstorm. Everything the group has been running from - the truckers, Ruth’s dad, the government - all converges upon them at the same time. It makes for a fun and ripe conflict that’s interesting to see the characters deal with.

23) Is this some sort of crack about Bob Dylan’s current music not “measuring up” to his early stuff or whatever?

Paul [about his drugs]: It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan. Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead. Paul: Isn’t he?

24) Random Keith Nash is random but nice.

25) Blythe Danner as Tara is a nice late addition to the film. Danner puts a lot of heart and soul into what is essentially a tragic character. A space alien landed on her dog, was taken away by the government, and she was dubbed a freak by society only for telling the truth, something which required years of therapy. But Tara’s no push over. Danner is able to make her strong, tough, and pretty funny when the opportunity arises.

26) The whole scene where the group has to escape the feds at the farm is the film’s best action sequence. It is incredibly well choreographed, tightly paced, and there is a wonderful escalation of insanity and action as the scene progresses. I really like it.

27) This film is Wilhelm Scream certified.

28) The movie is basically a big love letter to sci-fi movies created by the likes of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. The previous mention of Reese’s Pieces, the fact that the mountain from Close Encounters of the Third Kind is where Paul goes to phone home, and the line from Jason Bateman, “Boring conversation anyway,” mirroring Harrison Ford’s line from the original Star Wars. It shows not only just how much those kinds of films meant to the filmmakers but also how important it is they express that love in cinema. I think honesty admiration always leads to great filmmaking.

29) Sigoruney Weaver’s role as The Big Guy is basically a glorified cameo but I love it. Her casting is pitch perfect. As soon as she actually shows up you know shit just got real. Why? Because it’s Sigourney Weaver! It’s Ellen Ripley for crying out love. She just commands the scene and the fact that the oft mentioned “big gun” from earlier in the film is literally just a big ass gun is great.

30) The twist that Zoyle is actually on Paul’s side totally surprised me the first time I saw the film but it adds a lot of rewatch value. It totally makes sense in a second viewing and helps deepen his character from more than just a standard gov antagonist.

31)

Zoyle: “Call me Lorenzo.” Clive & Graeme: “Lorenzo Zoyle?”

I did not understand this reference at all when I first saw the movie. I had to google it extensively. Apparently it’s a reference to the 1992 George Miller directed film Lorenzo’s Oil that’s a family drama about a sick kid and has nothing to do with sci-fi. So after I learned what the reference was I googled some more to figure out why it was a joke in the movie. Apparently it was Nick Frost’s idea.

“It’s just one of those things that I kind of like doing, that thing that you take one letter from the surname and add it to the forename and it becomes something completely different. It’s possible someone could be called Lorenzo Zoil.” (source)

32) Graeme’s “death” actually packed a punch with me watching this. You kind of figure he’ll survive, I mean we’ve seen Paul use his healing ability before, but still I think that it does pull at your heart strings speaks to how well the film does in making you care about these characters and their relationships.

33) THE SHIP FUCKING LANDS ON SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND THAT’S HOW SHE DIES! YES! I LOVE IT!

34) I really like the in-credits epilogue. Like, the ship taking off slowly is a good final gag and leads to the emotional finale of the film. But the in-credits epilogue ties up some loose narrative strings and feels a bit more finite than just everyone standing in the now empty field. I dig it.

Paul is a lot of fun. It’s not really the same level of genre comedy as the Cornetto Trilogy per say, but why even make that comparison? I only mention that because I heard someone at work saying this movie sucked because it wasn’t Hot Fuzz and I was like, “That’s your criteria?” It is a charming, earnest, fun, well acted, and enthusiastic comedy. It’s a good time with lots of great gags and character moments. I like it and hopefully you will too.