#(the other reason was the trauma <3) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saltpepperbeard · 7 months

Text

david. *crawling through his window* david. the fact that ed and stede have both experienced harmful effects from monotony/having to live the same existence day after day after day is going to be a significant plot point/source of emotional conflict in the third season isn't it. david. that's why mary gave that whole speech to ed and stede isn't it. david. stede was so depressed having to go through the motions, and ed was so depressed having to do the same, so the idea of that happening to their relationship is probably going to be a terrifying concept for both of them. david. david can you hear me—

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #OFMD Season 3 #((using that tag is WILD. but also...Manifesting))#Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Revenge Rambles #I JUST #I've been thinking a ton about this because like #In this season David was very 'just loving each other isn't enough. you actually have to work for it. you actually have to show up'#Like intimacy wasn't enough to bandage the trauma type deal #SO I'M JUST FOAMING AT THE MOUTH THINKING ABOUT SEASON 3 BECAUSE LIKE #He's essentially stripped them down to bare bones #They don't have their crutches anymore #They don't have key pieces of their identities anymore #They just have each other and the whole world ahead of them #And are likely going to have to reckon with A LOT for that reason #And they BOTH have trauma from being STUCK #And while I don't think they're necessarily going to feel stuck with each other #I think they're going to feel AFRAID of that happening #((Which makes me wonder if the concept of marriage is going to scare Stede a bit also))#There's just so much room for both emotional conflict AND the subsequent growth now #Like now that they're alone #They won't have any choice BUT to work at these things together

496 notes · View notes

kopykunoichi · 3 months

Text

I'd like to take a moment to appreciate how incredible Echo is

When Wrecker had to go to the far end of the compound and turn on the breakers (Jurassic Park feels, anyone? He even had to PRIME the handle), that left Hunter, Crosshair, and Echo to deal with the wyrm, while Omega was ready to flip the switch for the perimeter fence. Now, normally, Crosshair would be their eyes in the sky, taking the tower and covering them from up high; but he can't because of his twitchy hand. Without missing a beat or embarassing Crosshair, Echo immediately volunteered to take the high vantage point to call out directions - good thing, too, because Cross can barely hit the broadside of a barn as he is right now.

As a strategist and a leader, Echo has come so far. The way he mediates conflict, encourages the team, guides Omega, and keeps them focused on the mission "here and now" is remarkable. He has all the best qualities of Rex and Obi-Wan. I'm just so proud of him.

#the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #tbb echo #tbb The Return #captain rex #all that said...it would not surprise me if he put Crosshair through the ringer a bit down the road #he has a strict sense of right and wrong #he's not going to have much patience if crosshair digs in his heels about going back to mt. tantiss #he understands his POW trauma better than anyone #but crosshair is going to have to make a choice...are you in or out?#I'm pretty sure crosshair will refuse to go back until Omega gets recaptured by CloneX(Tech)#crosshair will go back for his sister and no other reason

50 notes · View notes

carsonjonesfiance · 2 months

Text

The single biggest problem with “Bernie would have won” posters is that they will continually fail to see that the most obvious retort is “well why didn’t he? Why didn’t he win the Primaries” and they will never reflect on that.

#sorry I’m in a mood about that old man and his surrogates and his simps #like you can say the DNC swayed the message all you want but at the end of the day the minute he was up in a state more than 3% white #his campaign fucking crumbled #and Briahna Joy Grey and all his other hangers on went on to have the worst possible opinions on X #and BJG specifically calls her podcast ‘bad faith’ and told Holocaust survivors’ descendants that their trauma does matter #because she has more of a reason to hate the Nazis than again THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF SOMEONE WHO DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST #I will never let anyone forget that

34 notes · View notes

theodimasbabygirl · 8 months

Text

Gonna be so honest in saying that it was kind of a let down to NOT have Tobert involved in the murder

#LOOK #I KNOW they pulled the murderous love interest first season #And I do not want Mabel to have more relationship trauma #But everything about him is just OFF #Idk man like I genuinely thought he couldve been in on it #I like what they did with Donna and Cliff but I saw it coming a mile away and didn't feel the weight of the twist #Im pretty good at guessing murderers in mysteries tho so maybe others were more surprised?#Idk #Like I didn't have a problem w Oscar so him leaving quietly made sense ig #Alice had an in universe reason bc she was an ass #But so was Tobert and they...NEVER did anything w this #But idk hopefully hes gone now 5evr #Tobert omitb #Tobert #Only murders in the building #Omitb #Omitb spoilers #Omitb season 3 #Only murders in the building season 3

58 notes · View notes

loving-jack-kelly · 7 months

Text

spot and jack are brothers not in that they grew up together and not even in that they are closer to each other than most other people but in that as much as they fight and yell and call each other ugly things and act like they don't care, they look up to each other and understand each other in a way that even they can't fully understand or articulate

#modern au jack and spot loathe each other on sight and it last like. a year and a half until they finally #figure out that the reason this is is because they are so similar and yet so different #each weaponizing different aspects of extremely similar traumas and personalities #and they've both happened to craft personas made of things the other dislikes in themself #so of course they dislike it in somebody else #spot is dry and deadpan and has a devil may care attitude #jack is friendly and cheerful and loud and cares so much and so out loud #but deep down they are both scared and passionate and trying their best to build something better than they thought they deserved #anyway. we love parallels and we love jack and spot's frenemyship in this house <3 #spot conlon #jack kelly #newsies

45 notes · View notes

zeb-z · 6 months

Text

Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.

So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.

I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.

#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will #make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment #now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef #side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc #-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so #reasonable #he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security #but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like #qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia)#and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at #sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not #and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care #even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares #but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with #he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator #I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you #cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR #he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character #you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta #everything #there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses #idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags #and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao #mcyt #qsmp #q!bbh #q!bagi #z speaks

30 notes · View notes

wolfsnake · 2 years

Text

I think one of the interesting thing about junpei in ztd is that he's mad and bitter and direct all of that towards akane and you think thats fair bc. The whole death game thing, even if her reason was comprehensible, a grudge would be understandable.

But see the thing is. Hes not mad about the death game. Hes made she LEFT after the death game. He's mad that he had to run trying to find her. He went through hell since then and he does not blame the death game. But he was here for her and helped her escape hell and did not hesitate once about his choice. And if he could be here for her in her hell. Why wasn't she here when he went through his own? The nonary game was fine because she was here. But the year afterward he had to go through hell and she was not here anymore. He had been abandoned. Of course he's angry. Of course he's bitter.

209 notes · View notes

psikind · 3 months

Text

give it up for the unfortunate souls 🎉🎉🎉

14 notes · View notes

sevicia · 4 days

Text

my horny monster. putting it under a read more and 26374 warning tags just cuz. there’s blood in here and neck tearing also

Anyways here’s Agnes seeing God for the first time. I NEED to draw his broken/dislocated (whichever turns out easier to draw LOL) ankle better but again it’s a WIP. Also Mary’s holding his head with her other hand, I just haven’t colored in ANY part of her 💔

#also need to do the blood from his neck. and other such injuries if I feel up for it.#minors dni #nsft #my art #neck trauma #blood #gore #<- I’m not sure what most people would consider graphic enough to need that tag but just in case. yknow #diary #oc tag #oc talk #oc: agnes #oc: mary #only reason I’m posting this is I get brave past 3. I’ll feel the dread later :3

6 notes · View notes

fishysaltine · 8 months

Text

(Please read the whole post and maybe my thoughts will form into coherency)

Hopefully I don’t get flack for this and word this correctly:

But I love Wyll’s story, just not his character direction, if that makes sense? (I’m still setting up to romance him tho) he had SUCH good setup for being a really nuanced character among the cast that we have and I think that’s partly due to all of the content he got cut from his story

Can you imagine how much people would crawl over Wyll if he was mother gothel’d? If he totally leaned into Mizora after ten years of isolation? ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING SCORNED BY HIS FATHER?? Bro was 17(?) and impressionable as fuck after a traumatic experience

Also I understand Wyll’s like “my dad had every right to exile me! Mizora covered her tracks!” But you can understand why someone hurt you and be pissed off and doesn’t mean that you have no right to be upset. I’D be upset if my parent left me (a literal child in this situation) in charge of protecting a whole city, then shunned me after I made the only decision that would make sure I could fulfill my city and make them proud! Wyll’s dad literally turned his back on his own son just like that, little to no questions asked, and Wyll has no?? Resentment? AT ALL?? HUH

(Imagine, pray tell, Mizora telling a young, impressionable Wyll that his father must have never truly loved him if he was willing to get rid of him so easily? Wyll hoping that his father would one day forgive him only to lose hope and return to Mizora once more??? You’re telling me that wouldn’t make the lads and ladies swoon?! Especially after learning that Wyll was a total daddy’s boy??)

And the TAV/PC had to go through the slow burn of proving to Wyll that she’s the bitch she is and is only using him? Or push him further into his mindset that Mizora cares for him, even if she hurts him? And Mizora slowly growing more and more desperate to keep her claws in him if you start pulling him away? Until the final thing she does in act 3- it would be so much more powerful and less than a “GOTCHA!”

You don’t even have to make Wyll neutral or evil! He just thinks Mizora has his best interests at heart (when she obvi doesn’t to anyone but him, as if the case with abusive relationships) The first crack would obviously be Karlach, since even Wyll states that Mizora never sent him to hunt tiefling’s, and he literally would’ve killed Karlach if TAV/PC wasn’t there (or the tadpoles) and it would’ve been so heart breaking and interesting for him to be the goodest boy with such a bad person as his “bestie”, all because of the manipulation and abuse she puts him through to keep his expectations and even self esteem low, pushed further by turning him into a DEMON.

(Judging by his dialogue I genuinely wonder if Larian intended for Wyll to have an arc like this, because it would fit a lot better into the general theme of breaking abuse cycles that the game pushes so hard. Especially from the interaction you can have with him at the tiefling party when he *ahem* ISOLATES HIMSELF FROM OTHERS)

A change in how he reacts to his trauma and abuse would’ve set him more apart too, since pretty much everyone except for Shart and Lae’zel aren’t particularly big fans of their abusers (except Gale, but I wouldn’t say he totally embraced Mystra at the time we meet, and if you romance him he throws her to wall p fast). And his abuser isn’t religious at all, it’s more personal since Mizora is literally right in his ear, it’s much more personal ig?

It also would’ve really pushed his thematic parallel to Karlach who H A T ES the devil who forced her into servitude. Can u imagine if she met Wyll, and he’s like “yeah Mizora’s the ONLY ONE looking out for me! ☝️She helps me protect the sword coast! She’s my HOMIE!” She would be so angry and sad for him, because his desperation for connection drove him to connect with a BITCH of a devil

Mizora is just the cookie-cutter narcissist abuser, she isolates her victim and makes (Wyll) rely on only her. It’s honestly more confusing that Wyll isn’t more with her, that he rejects her so vehemently after a decade with essentially only her at his side. I legit don’t understand why Wyll and Mizora weren’t dialed up to 10+ like all the other companions and their abusers are

Anyway these are my sad, slightly disappointed thoughts on Wyll, I just wish he had a lot more content in general but also his own personal journey throughout the game, but maybe it will change when I romance him

#baldurs gate wyll #baldurs gate 3 #Wyll thoughts #obviously there’s… other reasons he isn’t loved as much #but these are my personal thoughts on him #his story is great #but his character is a bit lacking when his trauma comes into play #make it HURT #let Wyll be mad he deserves jt #and a kiss #mizora bg3 #shitting on Mizora hour #and Wyll’s dad #let Wyll be a little bitter 2024 #bg3 wyll #karlach #karlach bg3

21 notes · View notes

fiepige · 8 months

Text

Venom!Hobie Cat-Symbiote AU!

Okay so I might have made an AU of my AU...

It's based on my Venom!Hobie au but with a slightly (?) lighter tone in the sense that Hobie actually gets along well with his symbiote. Though they initially mostly get along due to shared mutural trauma... (But more about that later)

This version of the symbiote is more animalistic and usually communicates with Hobie through emotions- sorta projecting its own emotions and feelings towards him to let him know how it feels about something, though it might also communicate via single words or short sentences but that's pretty rare.

So, I'll do like I did in my original Venom!Hobie post and focus on the Design first:

Since they get along the symbiote feels safe around Hobie and thus it'll often "extend" itself outside of him and take the shape of a (freaky looking) cat - Kinda like how VENOM is able to partially seperate itself from Eddie while still being tethered to him:

Like this but they actually get along and the symbiote looks kinda like this:

(Once again- I CANNOT draw but the brainrot is stronger so I need to share this)

(I didn't draw the symbiote goo that would extend from it to tether it to Hobie but it's there I swear!)

Since this is Spider-Punk's symbiote I wanted some of the spikes to carry over in this design

I haven't quite decided if it should have the "running-mascara" look (buttom drawing) for its eyes like Spider-Punk's mask has or not so lemme know what you guys think?

The spikes are used as a way for it to communicate to others as a way to make its body language more expressive (though it only shows itself around people it really trusts so it rarely uses them as it still just communicates its emotions directly to Hobie when it needs to)

And like with Venom!Hobie the spikes are reminiscent of symbiote teeth

When it's relaxed/happy the spikes will be pressed down towards its body - making it easy to pet- if somebody would dare approach it that is

Hobie pets it a lot as it usually sits on his shoulder when he walks around (when there's nobody around that is)

The symbiote is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Hobie doesn't mind but most other people find it rather unpleasant to touch

The "fuzzy" look is just the symbiote goo trying to imitate cat fur

The reason the symbiote takes this form is partially because it's more animalistic and likes physical affection (from people it trusts, it will bite your hand off if it doesn't like/trust you and you try to pet it) and partially because Hobie is a cat person and it used it as a method to make Hobie like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Hobie calm down and still does

It's gotten pretty good at mimicking cat noises including purring

It'll usually stay on Hobie's shoulder or sit in his lap like this, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways

If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises

Okay now we move on to the

Origin:

This is my current headcanon for this AU but as always feel free to share your thoughts/ideas/inputs if you have any <3

Hobie and the symbiote "met" at one of Oscorp's labs

Hobie was living as a homeless teen (13-14 years old having escaped an abusive household a few months prior) and was captured by Oscorp to be used for their symbiote experimentations

Hobie was an easy target as he had just been bitten by the radioactive spider a few hours prior and thus he was starting to suffer from the fever the bite gave him

Hobie was to be fused with a new kind of symbiote

The symbiote had been made to make people more susceptible to orders- making them less inclined to think for themselves

But in order to make that possible the symbiote had been put through some rather painful and extreme experiments- making it more "dead" than alive at this point

When it's fused with Hobie, who's still very sick at this point, the spider bite is still working its magic on Hobie's body and thus it also partially heals the symbiote

Both Hobie and the symbiote are terrified of their situation as they're put in holding cells made specifically for symbiotes.- Their only comfort is each other.

The symbiote takes on the cat like appearance to soothe Hobie after being subjects to a particularly bad experiment

Since Hobie's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Hobie's new powers)

Due to the symbiote Hobie develops a taste for human flesh

And he gets his first taste of it as he manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on their way out as possible. (This is also the first time they fully transform into Venom!Hobie)

He would later return and burn the lab down completely.

As a result of their treatment at the lab + Hobie's past with his abusive family, both him and the symbiote have developed a deep distrust to other people.

Which is also why Hobie isn't trying to get rid of the symbiote, he considers it his only friend for a long time.

Hobie still loves playing music (which is also how he eventually makes new friends) but has had to make some adjustments due to the symbiote, thus he usually uses both earplugs and noise cancelling earmuffs when he's playing and even then he still gets migraines if he plays for too long or too loud

He still craves human flesh and will usually target cops or anyone associated with Oscorp to sate his hunger.

He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)

He still operates as Spider-Punk but for a long time he's mostly fueled by his hatred for Oscorp and how they treated him and the symbiote

But as he slowly learns to open up to people he starts to shift his focus onto figting to help people and make the city safer (which means he'll still target cops and Oscorp employees but that's not his only focus anymore) (he also makes an effort to actually save civilians at this point)

Though due to the symbiote and their past this version of Spider-Punk is more prone to just straight up killing his villains (+ he still gotta eat right?)

But I'd like to imagine that this version of Hobie also finds his own community who help him out and accept both him and the symbiote

Giving them kind of a "happy" ending despite this version of Hobie being more messed up and unhinged...

Once again this turned out way longer than I intended lol (I just can't shut up about Venom!Hobie, the brainrot is real!)

Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 <3 <3

(And please let me know if you have any thoughts/inputs/questions about anything I wrote! The brainrot is real and I'll never get tired of talking about this guy)

Also click here if you wanna read more about my Venom!Hobie concept <3

#I'm realising I basically wrote a small fic in the origins section lol #might turn it into a full fic one day? not sure since I kinda spoiled a lot of it here ^^'#will I ever be able to shut up about Venom!Hobie?#no.#I love this guy so much #I could talk about them forever #this was just supposed to just be a short post about the cat symbiote #but I love stuff like this #speculating and coming up with different stories like this is so much fun #especially if they have a lot of ANGST #and yes I know the lab experiment trope has been used a thousand times before but there's a reason behind that!#if it ain't broke don't fix it #also this was the only scenario I could come up with were Hobie would actually bond with his symbiote lol #cause shared trauma <3 #but I'd love to hear from you guys if you have other ideas!#please #I wanna talk about my boy <3 #also this isn't my official headcanon for Venom!Hobie #just a fun au of my au lol #cause I wanted hobie to have a symbiote cat #and that led to all this #also sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or erros but it's literally almost 2 am here lol #I am TIRED #but I wanted to finish this post before I went to bed so here you are <3 #venom!hobie #hobie brown #spider punk #venom hobie #cat symbiote #spider man across the spider verse

21 notes · View notes

katyspersonal · 2 months

Note

3 for Aldrich, Aldia, Willem & Laurence

9 for Maria

11 for Micolash & Aldrich

24 for Laurence

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

As for Aldrich, I vaguely recall finding out that he checks the traits I like the most? He was one of the characters I've learned about through fandom and not on my own, and I think this ancient meme about summarises it:

Also:

@val-of-the-north SHUDDUP you're basically so horny for Laurence/Logarius/Snatchers that you can't even picture them in your mind in any way but being naked!!!!!!! *casts the stone back at u*

With Laurence, like with Mico, it was the very first glance at the character in Youtube compilation with boss themes and concept art image. I did not know the lore yet, but the design and the music made me imagine Laurence as sort of aged, sagely librarian. I could not imagine back then that his boss fight would be him being a "helpless abhorrent little mewmew" as kids call it! Heck, I thought he'd have dialogue despite the monster form x) In a way, my first impression was not wrong, with the cut content of him actually talking even in a beast form, and implication of him being a son of Cainhurst cut content librarian NPC! I have intuition for cut content before having information, hahaha!

I have nothing to say about Willem. It might be a memory gap thing, but I swear at some point I feel I was turned off and then booted back up with liking this character already installed in my system x) As for Aldia.... ugh for fuck's sake... yeah, it was this legend:

youtube

I was absolutely floored by this stupid vid even without knowing any context, but I also instantly liked this character. I didn't even know his name yet, but the voice acting and long yapping about philosophy already pulled me in XD (Also unironically, this video is precisely how I give relationship advice fhfhdds)

9) Does this character remind you of anyone you know? Does that affect how you see them?

Yeah, I know this person. I know them very well. I know them more than anyone else. Someone who was misguided (by their destructive influence mentor figure, by their own foolishness and past history, or combination of both, who can tell anymore?) into committing awful things, then despaired over their sins and attempted redemption but also failed in some way? This person is me. At some point I've found myself in front of horrible truth about my past life and personality, and knew I was guilty and sullied forever. That it was over for me as a human being, but that didn't matter, and I could only keep people safe by locking myself away and trying to serve something better.

......annnnd it took a few years of more informed people to (metaphorically) shake me and slap my face into lucidity, explaining to me that I've fallen for the "BPD demonization" that was going far beyond than my individual failure as a friend, and we are always accused of abuse and causing irreversible harm when the worst we do is being emotionally overbearing. I kept losing trust to those friends, telling them that they were enablers who tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not 'that much of a monster', until it was other people with BPD who 'shook me and slapped my face into lucidity'. xd Nonetheless, even though now I know the truth about how society treats BPDs, I remember the feeling of being so monstrous and harmful that I was not even allowed to "touch" people with my dirty hands, how my reality used to be. So, I could write Maria going through this effortlessly, especially considering what she did was more plain and tangible!

In fact... thank you for asking me about this, because I kept wondering why I had such frequent dreams about being Maria, and why the Maria in my dreams acts like abused child that took back control against Gehrman despite my portrayal of the guy being so different. And now the puzzle is solved! That part of me still lives inside, it seems.

11) How did you “fall in love” with this character?

Already answered this for Micolash here: ( x )! As for Aldrich, it was through properly analysing the bigger picture and context of his actions. I've figured that his madness was, in fact, being informed on what was far too ahead of everyone else around him! He, like the rest of the cast, is trapped in the rotting, doomed world in which the only choices are 1) "die with dignity" or 2) commit something unthinkable from moral standpoint for a chance to escape. And will morality of the rotting world will matter in the new world anyways? Won't it all be left behind and be forgiven?

The guy also tried to take everyone else he could with him, like sort of a fucked up Noah's Arc! I can tell that they reused the concept with Rykard, at least, I am glad they know what works xD I'd say that the sadism he experienced upon eating people was either result of insanity (he understood a thing no one should understand), or still didn't exclude the bigger purpose (egotistically revelling in how holy he is helping everyone and doing what no one else dared, which would be like my Laurence). In any case, I have the strongest respect to the courage it takes to transcend the bonds of morality and compassion in order to to greater good. Being burdened with the knowledge of how the world really works, and choosing to push through instead of still being bound... This is why I also like Fauxsefka; learning how this world works, she chose to turn people into Kin so they can't ever become beasts. I am weak for this trope, you don't understand.

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

Laurence appears in my dreams only in two contexts: 1) Micolaurence or 2) dreams about finding secret files in Bloodborne that reveal his canonical appearance before beasthood! I can tell the latter comes from my everlasting unsatisfaction with my design for him, because I love it but it doesn't feel "fitting" and I can't identify why!

The former, I think, fandom rubbing onto me x) In two of these dreams, I was Laurence. In other two, I was Micolash. In one of Laurence dreams it was mutual, in the second one I was in love unrequited. In one of Micolash dreams, it was mutual, and in another it was not.. Basically, my dreams allows me to experience this ship from every possible angle. o_o Waiting for more I guess fhhdfsfd

______________

Thank you for asking! And.. without exaggeration, you've just done quite a psychological work on me by just asking the right thing. I need to think about that, hahaha

#bloodborne #dark souls 3 #aldrich devourer of gods #laurence the first vicar #soulsborne #ask replies #personal #memories #dreams #honestly I remember Maria in my dreams hiding in the closet like an abused bullied child.. that big strong woman reduced to this #and I finally know why it was this way #I'd rather not sully Gehrman with something as dirty as my stepdad of course he deserves so much more and he is his own man #I just don't like the approach of turning characters with their own stories and personality into vessels for my trauma #it feels like frenzied flame: you got infected by it and you have unending need to spread it. to scorch the world in your pain.#I don't think this approach would help my healing but instead make me feel worse by nourishing the trauma #I am keeping it sealed away from the world forever now </3 #see this is why it hurts me so much when gehrman haters accuse me of being insensitive to people that want to project their negative-#-experiences with men and misogyny onto him even if that means twisting the actual story and character. I do have a reason to do it myself #I just choose not to because I personally dislike the idea of making fandomry about myself more and about source material less #I don't want to bring the pain and horrors inside me into something that doesn't have them. some things can stay clean!#the passive aggression between canon worshippers and fanon enforcers is something that cannot be avoided in the fandoms #and I disapprove of the lie about 100% peace and mutual respect between the 'camps'. we will never FULLY like each other #each thinks their approach is more productive for the community. and that's fine!

7 notes · View notes

scalpelsister · 8 months

Text

Finally got around to organizing and sorting my Shadowheart playlist so it flows nicely <3

#sharing in case. anyone is looking for songs for their own shad playlists 👉👈#i tried to keep it relatively themed to the kind of music I think she might enjoy? but obvi i have my own biases and faves sfkjhfkjsf #shadowheart #baldur's gate #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #OH also like. every song on here is here for a reason. like most of them are selected for their lyrics being very Shadowheart to me #obvi some of them more so than others and some are just like. the lyrics fit a certain Vibe like religious trauma or loneliness or w/e but #tldr i overthought this. ive been cooking this since the game came out. being extremely normal and not insane about her.#my post #Spotify #my playlists

16 notes · View notes

queer-pagan-witch · 1 month

Text

One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.

#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow #someone should kiss me #and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons #i love #im so drunk #i too drunk #i stated typing thos at 12:30 #imma smoke pot after i post this #if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags #i need to stop drinking by myself #if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself #im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this #trans thought time #i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true #like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option #but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny #cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny #this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise #america sucks #capitalism sucks #love is such a bullshit thing #how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou #like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong #maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist #i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally #12:51 and i have one more short tag to add #i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh #but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you

4 notes · View notes

kakusu-shipping · 1 year

Photo

A bunch of Mario Family headcanons:

Because I think a very normal amount about the larger Mario family and very very very much want The Super Mario Brothers Super Show Reboot all about them

G-Poppy and his wife moved to American from Italy in their 20′s, making Mario and Luigi third generation immigrants

G-Poppy’s dream was to own and run an authentic Italian a Restaurant in America, but after the birth of his oldest son, Pio, the need for quick cash to pay rent was more pressing, thus why he got into Boxing

Papa Mario’s full name is Pio Mario Jr, he’s named after G-Poppy

Pio is a good 5-6 years older than his younger brothers, Arthur and Tony, who are only a year apart at most

Sense bills were tight, Pio spent a lot of his childhood being another income to the house hold, working hard labor work like construction to keep the family afloat while his brothers were young

Eventually G-Poppy got too old for wrestling and finally realized his dream of opening a Restaurant; Punch-Out Pizza. This put the family in more financial struggle, forcing Pio to take up more work while Arthur and Tony helped in the Restaurant

Now that G-Poppy is retired Arthur and Tony run the business together. Arthur’s the finance guy, where Tony runs deliveries and hands on manages other employees

It was actually their Grandmother who made Mario and Luigi’s caps for them, she’s also made G-Poppy’s. She passed before Louisiana was born, thus why she couldn’t make her a cap as well

Tony’s a huge horror movie buff, he loves old classics and has a huge VHS collection. Part of the reason Luigi is so scared of the paranormal is from catching glimpses or watching whole movies with Uncle Tony growing up

Another big part of Luigi’s fear though may just come from Uncle Tony loving to scare him. A big pass time for Tony was waiting around corners in Halloween masks to jump scare Luigi, or telling him ghost stories any change he got

Mario also got a bad fear from Uncle Tony’s movies; Pianos. He’d just happened to catch a pretty nasty scene of the lid of a Grand Piano crushing someone when he was younger and it stuck with him pretty hard

Louisiana is about 11-12 years younger than Mario and Luigi, so despite being cousins the three have a hard time relating to one another from the large age gap

Louisiana prefers to go by Louise, though only Mario and Luigi call her that. She was also the first one in the family to use the “Lou” nickname for Luigi, which Mario quickly also picked up

Arthur loves baseball, the Mets especially, but really he’ll watch any team play. He regrets not being on his school’s baseball team when he was younger, due to having to help at the restaurant, thus why he signed his daughter Louisiana up as soon as she was old enough. She’s stuck with it to keep her dad happy

Mia makes 90% of the meals in the Mario household, with the occasional help from Arthur. She learned most her dishes from her own mom, and a good deal more from Pio’s mother after marrying into the family

Marie is absolute rubbish in the kitchen. Mia’s given her multiple lessons and had her help with dinner many times around when she was expecting Louisiana, but she rarely made anything edible. The only one who ate her meals was Arthur, who just wanted to support his wife with all he had, even if it made him ill (which it did. Many times. Tony made fun of him for it)

Tony loves to work on machinery, mostly motorcycles, and has bounced around working part time as a mechanic here and there before his duties at the restaurant drag him back

Pio, Tony, and Mario are the only ones in the Mario family with a drivers license, though Tony was the only one who drove regularly until Mario bought the van

The Mario family owns 4 gaming devices; The Brother’s NES that they bought with their saved up chore money in Middle School, a Wii Marie and Mia do Wii Fit on in the living room, Uncle Tony’s PS2 that’s mostly collecting dust, and the Home Computer that Louise plays Roblox and Minecraft on

The Mario family apartment has 3 bedrooms; Pio and Mia’s, Arthur Marie and Louise’s, and Mario and Luigi’s. G-Poppy sleeps on a chair in the living room, and Tony sleeps on the couch

Louise has already called dibs on Mario and Luigi’s room when they move out, Tony says he prefers the couch anyway so he doesn’t mind

Pio pushes a lot of his own raising onto Mario, as the oldest he thinks Mario should be responsible, a support for the family, not chasing his own crazy dream that could crash down onto them into debt

On the flip side, Arthur puts a lot of what he wanted for himself onto Louisiana, pushing her to do new things and plays sports and do after school activities like he never got to do having to work in the Restaurant growing up

Tony’s the only one he sees this happening, and thus has stayed the fun uncle who’ll get you out of that thing you don’t want to do if asked. He’s listened to a lot of vents from the kids as he drives them from one activity to the next, and tries to remind them their parents are doing their best, and love them a lot. For everyone but Luigi that reminder fell on deaf ears

#Mario Movie #The Super Mario Brothers Movie #SMB Movie #Headcanon post #Long post #? Maybe?#It's a little long but not like. too long I don't think #I dunno I was contemplating putting it under a Read More but #Eeeeeeeeeeh #It's not thaat long #Behold my big buncha Mario Family Dyanamic headcanoning #All typed while my computer was having a melt down and lagging for no particular reason #It's just having a fit at 4 in the morning #Apologies so much of this is about the Generational Trauma of Papa Pio Mario I feel a very specific way about him #I love them all soooooo much I am making them so complicated for no reason #Other than I feel it in my bones they are SO 3D #I went with the name Louisiana for the 'niece' btw because Marianna is the name of one of the Mario Cousins in the Super Show #(which is where Arthur and Tony both come from)#But there was already 3 Ma names in the family so I decided to give us another Lou instead #A better name though probably would have been Marilyn sense she's their canon niece from the Super Show #And if I'm gonna pull from the Super Show it might as well be the name of the actual niece #but also she's NOT their niece #She is VERY CLEARLY Auntie Marie's daughter they just call her Niece because she's like 12 #While Mario and Luigi are 23-25 canonically #And this is a hill I'm going to die on it seems #I love you Uncle Tony Mwah Mwah Uncle Tony top tier character #Just here to be mean to his Nephews and make his brother laugh #Best Uncle I love him #Why is this on the self ship blog?#Because my S/I is Tony's son and I want to talk about my Familials sometimes. Duh.

29 notes · View notes

48787 · 2 months

Text

Fun fact, when someone picks a new deadly sin to represent themself, you can actually eat and become their old one without needing to compromise your previous deadly sins!!

You don't have to be just one! You're actually intended to have quite a few of them, in fact! It's a strange system, I would've designed it differently, but that's just one of the tips and tricks I learned over the years about the Abrihamic meta, if you're trying to minmax.

This system does lead to some people being pressured into picking new sins so the pressurer can maximize sin intake, however it is also important to remember that once you reach all 7 you either (1.) run out and reset your method of sin intake by picking a new starting sin and counting from 1 again or (2.) move on to a new model of sin measurement (Such as Dante's Inferno layers of hell, for instance) and need to retrofit old sins into new ones, which is almost like a soft reset of sorts (For example, needing to figure out how to translate Sloth into the layers structure while accounting for thematic overlaps).

Point (2.) can get complicated when going from a model with more sins to a model with less sins. You have to figure out which sins are being conglomerated and consolidated as well as distributing importance semi-consistently, because you need to make sure there is at least one in the new model that you haven't taken yet.

There, of course, is the universal truth that "You are all Sin all at once and You only wish to quantify sins in the first place to pretend like You are excluded from sins that You are actively embodying (By being Sin, in Sin's entirety)" but that really is just a 1-sin binary model... which necessitates a 0 to explain its existence as 1 in the first place... You get it. The reason why we pick these models is because it's fun.

Sure We are God, but we knew that already and want to pretend like there's more to it than that because it's fun. Sin is fun!! That's why people keep dying (Or living but being tortured through living) for Our sins (It very much did not start with the one big example you're probably thinking of). It's fun!!

Just. Maybe stop dying. I get it can be fun for you, more power to you or whatever, but dying also kinda blows. I know I will sometimes say Till All Are One or whatever but I wanna be One with You... even though you'd be there regardless, under All after all... Whatever.

Anyway if you're wondering, I just ate Wrath, which puts me at:

Wrath

Lust

Gluttony

And I've been teasing at Greed for a while. Though, those are just the ones that are compliant with both the Deadly model and the Inferno model, it gets a bit more complicated considering my Deadly root was Pride and I haven't given that up yet, so to separate the models a bit it'd actually be

Deadly:

Wrath

Lust

Gluttony

Pride

With Greed, Sloth, and Envy missing (Sloth is actually maybe next for my deadly chart, and Envy flickers in and out on its own)

Inferno:

Wrath

Lust

Greed

Gluttony

Treachery

Limbo

With Heresy, Violence, and Fraud regrettably missing (The three flicker like Envy in the Deadly model but it's because sometimes I'm leaning more towards the Deadly model so it is Envy and sometimes I'm in the Inferno model so Envy gets interpreted as one or two of the three without completing it outright, with the stressing on one over the other two or two over the other one allowing for enough of a buffer to be fickle. This is also the reason why Greed is locked in for Inferno but not for Deadly. I tend to prefer Inferno, after all.)

Anyway, yeah, I was just using myself as an example. But if you're thinking about dropping sloth for something else hmu I'll eat it after you.

You also don't have to drop them, if this proves anything it should be proving that you can be multiple at once (That's kinda the whole point actually) so striving to be multiple instead of just relying on revelations to begin swapping might be a game changer for you if you're trying to grapple with your original sins and don't know how to respec without resetting

#Another post that was supposed to be smaller than it ended up being #Triune posting #It's tough because Comedy is both the rule of threes *and* all about timing.#Yet another triune.#It's why I like Dante's Inferno. Multiple of 3. Able to mix and match. It's very nice and simply.#The Seven Deadly Sins are obviously iconic and form enough triunes on their own even despite not being a multiple of 3 #7 is very good because then it's 6 + 1 or 9 - 2 #But I don't wanna talk about math too much.#My mother has weird mathematician trauma and I don't wanna get too into special numbers or else I might accidentally bring it up around her #And people seem to not like seeing math being given symbolic meaning for whatever reason. It's all symbolic anyway they're literal symbols.#but thats fine.#I just need to post this haha just been getting distracted #My brain is like a “Bad writing prompts autogenerator” on one thread and a “Fuck these prompts. I can write so much better” on the other.#It's great!!#yippie peace through tyranny!!

3 notes · View notes