#(probably up to no good if we're being real here)
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(You breathe a sigh of relief as you open the door to the homestead. This was your destination, Riverside homestead. It was placed directly on your family's route from Jouvente to Worlworth, the city Ramos' guardian lived in. The sun had almost disappeared, geetting here by twilight wasn't bad.)
(It was a sizable building. With two stories and stables for any horses. There were a few broken down buildings around it that suggested it used to be a much bigger complex. up a hill, you could make out a large tree, it looked like it was a Favor Tree.)
(When you entered the main door, you were greeted to a cozy and large common area, a main desk of sorts was to one side. There were stairs leading up, and a few doors, one of them you were pretty sure lead to a kitchen.)
(There was a lady sitting at one of the tables, who, upon seeing you enter, got to and went over to the desk.) "Welcome in! Got here just in time!"
"Haha, had to run to make it." (You reply, putting on your smile. The rest of your family was coming in behind you. Oh yeah, you reach up and take those singing stones out of your ear. You still don't remember who gave them to you, but Mal liked them. You did too.)
(The person at the desk smiled seeing Mirabelle enter.) "Miss!! You're back!!" (She said excitedly.)
"H-huh?!?" (Mira looked surprised for a second, before smiling.) "O-oh yes!! I told you I'd visit again once the country was saved!!"
(Oh yeah. Mirabelle and Isabeau would have stayed here on their journey, over a year ago now.)
"Well looks like ya won! This lot the rest of the great saviors of Vaugarde?"
"Not me, or Ramos here." (Nille said, patting Ramos shoulder. She looked for a place to sit down.) "We're just along for the ride."
"Don't care, c'mon in, take a seat, staying the night?"
"O-oh yes! We we're probably going to make it here tomorrow, b-but-" (Mira starts, going over to the desk.)
(Odile cuts Mirabelle off, joining her.) "-But if I spend one more night in the forest I will go postal."
(. . . Not bringing up the sadness is probably a good call. That would just cause a panic. You let Odile and Mirabelle deal with rooms and such, you wander around the common area.)
(Frozen in time. . .)
(You still couldn't get over it. You got frozen in time. Months after the kings defeat, despite there being no sign of frozen time anywhere in the country. And no sadness anywhere, either.)
(Well, except for Ramos. But Ramos was turned into a sadness. And turned back when you broke that emblem embedded with mind craft. Does that mean this sadness was also someone turned into one? Apparently there wasn't any visible star, and it smelled of sugar, not mint. What was it then?)
"That alright Sif?" (Mira called over, oops.)
"Huh? What?" (You reply, you weren't paying attention.)
"There's only a few rooms left, you and Isa ok with sharing?"
"O-oh! Oh sure!" (You smile, heh, that'll be nice, sharing a room. You hadn't gotten to do that yet. At Bambouche you all stayed at Nille and Bonnies. At Jouvente you had a solo room. So finally you'd get some time just, the two of you. Well, four? Five of you? Heh, that was something to talk about.)
(Back to wandering and thinking. The common area was nice, it was well furnished, with a lot of random trinkets around. On the walls shelves, etc. Hmm, there's a sign near the front door that's covered with some cloth. Weird. You go over to it and uncover it.)
(It's. . . Oh! Your language!)
"O-oh! Careful, that'll give you a headache." (You turn, the lady at the desk was calling over to you.)
"How'd you get this?" (You say, now with a real smile on your face.)
"Huh?" (That got her by surprise.) "Oh! Uh, that's one of the things my gramps put up when he started the place. Never got the heart to take it down."
"Hah! Must have been a funny guy." (Your smile gets wider.) "It says 'make a wish, check it thrice, stay here a while, don't mind the mice.'"
"HA! He sure was!" (They lean on the desk.) "You can read that? Those other guys said they could only translate the first couple lines."
"The-" (What.) "Who?"
(Walk over to the desk, we need to know who-)
(And hello to you too, Mal. You do walk over, though, and ask.) "Someone else was reading that?"
"Yeah!" (She tapped her temple.) "Couple who're traveling, said they'd been researching that, Island stuff. Figured out the first part of that sign, asked about gramps and-"
"Are they still here?!? Where'd they go??" (You need to know, WE need to know. Mira and Odile leaned to the side, it was your time.)
"Woah there bud, I'd be a bad host if I just told you that kinda stuff." (They put their hands up.) "I know, I know, island stuff is. . . Important. It was important to gramps too."
(. . . Right.)
(She probably had more than a handful of islanders who'd recognized that sign and had a. . . Bad reaction. You still had your silver coin, after all.) "S-sorry."
"No issue, though, how'd you read it? It gives everyone else a headache."
"Savior secrets~" (You say, sticking your tongue out.)
"He's always like this." (Odile said, sighing.) "I am so, so sorry."
"Ha! Nah It's fine. Oh yeah!"
"Name's Jan (she/they). Been managing this place for a while now, y'all are all happy to stay anytime."
"Oh! T-thank you Jan-" (Mira starts.)
"Free of charge, naturally." (Jan finishes.) "No buts! You saved the country!"
"B-but-!"
"Don't try, Mirabelle." (Odile shakes her head.) "I've tried paying for supplies before to no avail."
"Hmph, fine." (Mira pouted.) "Thank you very much, I-I just, feel a bit weird about it."
(Ha, you kinda did, too. You were still kinda broke though, you had two silver coins to your name and didn't want to get rid of either of them. So you did appreciae the freebies.)
(Just take the free food and shelter, Siffrin.)
(You know, you know. It just, still felt weird, taking things for free.)
(Jan handed over the room keys. A room with three beds for Odile, Mira, and Ramos. A room with two beds for Nille and Bonnie, and a room of two for you and Isabeau. Stay for a few days, get on the road again. It sounded nice! You and Odile headed upstairs to check the rooms out.)
(You unlock the door to your room, sizeable, little table and chair, wardrobe, window, and-)
"O-oh."
"Something wrong, Siffrin?" (Odile leans over to look in your room.) ". . . Hah!"
"S-shut uuuuupppp." (You hide your face in your cloak.)
"My my, is there something wrong with sharing a bed, Siffrin?"
"I-it just, feels," (You mumble.) "it feels kinda different i-if we're, y'know-"
"Bonded-to-be?" (Odile teases.)
(You choke on your words, your blushing, really, really hard.) "I-I-I'm I'm gonna, get, uh-"
"I understand Siffrin. I'll see you tomorrow, if you survive."
"Night. . ."
(You close the door, stars. What a day. What a weird stupid day. You put your pack down by the SINGLE bed and take a breath. You fought a sadness, you were walking all day, you found another blinding island thing. . . You try to open the window.)
(Great, the window didn't even open. It was stuck.)
(You sit down on the bed.)
(. . .)
(What, have nothing to add, Mal?)
(I do not.)
(You do, c'mon, share it.)
(I do not like this homestead. I do not like Jan. I do not like that there is a sadness, or that it froze us in time.)
(Well? What do you want ME to do about it.)
(Nothing. That's why I didn't want to bring it up.)
(What about that island phrase? Since that seems to be YOUR buisness.)
(. . . It's the equivelant of one of those, sarcastic, cheesy slogans some have in their homes here.)
(What? Like one of those "Change, Craft, Care" things?)
(If you must know, yes.)
(That makes you laugh. Even if your home is gone, some people still have those cheesy nicknacks.)
(Jan could not understand it. And did not mention their grandparent.)
(. . . Right. You'll ask about it in the morning, but you're tired. You start getting dressed into your nighties.)
(Isabeau. . . What do you do about Isabeau. You really like, no, no you LOVE him! You really, really do! Whenever you're around him you get a weird, bubbly feeling that you've never felt in your entire life.)
(But, what do you do about that?!? What would be ok?!? How, how do you talk to him about it! STARS why was this so complicated!! At least in a play relationships had a script, but trying to script out your relationship with someone in real life just, doesn't work.)
(You knew that all too well.)
(Go to Bonnie, favorite foods are rice, pineapple, and samosas WITH potato NO cheese. Go help them get stronger, trip, hug. See Odile, get the book from the bakery, find a clearing, talk. See Mirabelle, ask about papers, talk. Go see Isabeau. . .)
(You get the idea.)
(You had the perfect day down to a formula. You scripted it, orchistrated it, crafted it. But that in itself made it less real. The first time it was a back and forth, you all played your parts, and got your rewards. But every time after? You were the director telling them where to stand. For an audience you could not see.)
(. . . You did miss it. It was nice-)
"Hey Sif- O-oh--"
(You freeze up. That was Isa's voice, and, a-and-)
"S-sorryIshouldhaveknockedsorrysorry-!"
"N-noit'sfineit'sfineI-I'mfine." (You desperatly and quickly cover yourself. You dared not look at him.) "J-j-just, just, u-uh--"
"I-I didn't see anything!! I promise!!"
"A-alrightalright, alright, t-turn around a second I'll finish up quickly."
"O-okay, I'm not looking, sorry, oh crab I'm sorry Sif-"
"I-it's ok! Just, just give me a second." (You breathe in, and out. Stars, you could NEVER live this down!! You very quickly get your nighties on. Stars, your head feels hot.) "Ok, o-ok I'm good."
(You turn around, Isabeau was banging his head softly on the wall before turning around. He had the biggest blush you'd ever seen, impressive, honestly.) "I-I'm, so sorry Sif. . ."
"Y-you're good!! You're good, my back was to you so it wasn't that bad right?" (You smile at him.)
(He looks to the side, blush growing.)
(You squint.) ". . . . Did you see anything?"
". . . . . . . . . . . . . M-maybe-"
(Oh!)
(Oh okay! Got it! This is actually a nightmare and you're still asleep in Jouvente! Wow! It makes so much sense now! Stars, how could you-)
(Shut up, Siffrin.)
(You wince, right, Mal du Pays was here. Sorry.)
(Isa bowed his head.) "I-I'm really really really sorry."
(. . . . . Ah Stars to it. You wink at him.) "Hope you liked what you saw then."
"WH-" (Isabeau froze, processing, prioessing, processing. . .)
(Stars, Siffrin. You are as bad as Loop. Eugh.)
"W-well! I'm going to bed! If you get changed I promise I wont peek."
". . . . . One bed?" (It sounded like the air was being squeezed from Isabeau.) "I-I mean I'm fine with one bed it's just I thought it was two and y'know I just thought that-"
"N-no I was, uh, taken by surprise too! It's fine!" (Taken by surprise? You were being teased by Odile. Can we just go to sleep already?)
"R-right. . ." (It souned like Isa was getting slowly killed.)
(You turn around, getting comfortable. STARS how embaressing. . .)
(Why do you like him?)
(Why? Why not! He's kind! Funny, smart AND strong! He's just, uh. . .)
(You trust him.)
(And you don't?)
(. . .)
(Isabeau finishes up getting ready for bed, you feel him climb in the other side. You turn around.) "Hey."
"H-hey. . ." (He replies, still blushing.)
"Fancy meeting you here."
"W-what a coincidence, right?"
(You laugh softly, stars, now that you're in bed the days exhaustion was catching up to you.) "Is it, fine that we're sharing? A bed?"
"Y-yeahjust-" (He looks away all blushy.) "S-since we're. . . Y'know. . ."
(. . . Stars. He's beautiful.)
(You didn't think you'd like someone like this, you never really got it, after all. But now? With Isabeau here? Next to you in a comfortable, warm bed. You get it.)
(. . . . . Your eyes feel heavy. You can't have The Conversation tonight.) ". . . We can talk about it tomorrow, ok?"
"O-oh! Alright then, I am pretty tired. . ." (You had both been walking all day, of course you're tired.)
(. . . You wish you could kiss him goodnight. Not tonight.)
(Let's just go to sleep.)
"Night, Isa."
"Night, Sif!"
(Night Mal.)
(. . . Just get to sleep. Night.)
#art#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat art#isat fanart#siffrin system au#sifstem#isat au#isat siffrin#isat oc#isat fanfic#sifstem main story#isat mirabelle#isat odile#isat mal du pays#isat isabeau#isat isafrin
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how do you think arthur and eames would take in other slowly growing old.. I don’t see either of them as characters being insecure about themselves but how the other person would see it is kinda a mystery and exciting.. so how do you think it would go? hugs xx
Oh my goodness I love this question. I agree on them not being overly insecure in themselves - not much, or too seriously, at least. They may lament a thing here or there but nothing that would take up too much mental space.
I know it sounds a bit cliche, but overall I think they'd fall more in love with each other, tbh. Growing older is a sign of survival against an often unkind world. Of experience. It's the sexiest fucking thing in the world to see your SO earn those signs of age alongside you, to say you made it, you keep making it, despite everything life has thrown at you, you are strong enough to survive.
Though, at first, I can see Arthur having a sort of existential crisis about it.
Not because he finds Eames any less attractive. On the contrary, he loves Eames extra padding, the changes in him; the very real markers that signify that they both have survived and they are experiencing this very real privilege to get older and to do it together; that they get to share a life, full of good and bad memories - to trust someone with who you were, who you are, and who you are going to be.
But in that same regard, I can see it finally hitting Arthur in a very real way (kind of the way it hits all of us); oh... our time here is actually limited... isn't it.
Perhaps it's when they're no longer in dreamshare, risking their lives, but it occurs to Arthur in a strange, sudden sense that some day the world will go on without them. That they are in fact, mortal, despite cheating death so often in their dreams and in real life too.
Arthur might be having this crisis at 35 or 45 (probably has it every ten years after his mid-thirties tbh) and he has literal decades ahead of him, but their own own mortality really hits him. He knew, intellectually, and with Mal and Dom, and with others in his life, that nothing is guaranteed. It's just... he feels like he has earned this life with Eames, after all they've been through together and personally, and it's not even that they're geriatric or "old" by any means, but the signs are there - they are not getting younger. They are visibly growing older. There's the greys, and the aches, and the weight gain here, the fat loss there.
The fact is plain and simple with life: there is no turning this car around.
Time is a real thing. One day it starts tick-tick-ticking away very loudly in Arthur's brain, like a bomb about to go off, setting off the same kind of panic in Arthur that says do something about it -- but there is nothing to be done about it. That's the worst part. It's just life, and not even Arthur, point man extraordinaire can mitigate it or stop it.
So Eames unearths the source of Arthur's panic after Arthur takes up three new languages, asks Eames for the fiftieth time if he's sure he won't regret not having kids, dyes his hair to get rid of the greys, takes up trumpet lessons and books them a cruise or seven - and then Eames is utterly bewildered by Arthur's heightened state of existential panic because he's not even fucking old, they've never been better or happier.
At first, Eames is like, "Calm down, dear. Complain to me when we have liver spots and we're both using walkers to get around. Old is just a state of mind."
Arthur, in the midst of frantically planning a new diet for them both sans-alcohol, is not amused.
So Eames asks him, "What are you so afraid of?"
"I don't know... losing time, I guess." Arthur replies. "Or... not making the most of it."
To which Eames asks plainly, fondly, "Aside from spending your days panicking, what are you gonna do about that? What do you need to do, at the end of it all, on your final day, to look back and say 'I regret nothing'?"
"I..."
"Ask yourself: what does your life without regrets look like?"
Arthur thinks, and after a long pause says:
"I... need us to live... exactly as we are now."
"That's good."
"Maybe tell you I love you more."
"And I will do the same."
Arthur takes the deepest breath he's had in days.
Then Eames adds, "By the by, I hear that not being on your husbands back about folding laundry is the key to a long, happy life."
"Nice try," Arthur rolls his eyes, taking his beloveds face in his hand and kissing that cheeky smile. "Speaking of which. I hear helping your husband fold the laundry does wonders for longevity."
--
The press of his lips against Eames and the quiet laughter between them in that moment, is one he never forgets.
--
Later, once all the laundry is folded and they're enjoying a glass of wine, Eames will Arthur that he is wrong. They are not losing time - that every day is more time they gain together.
Arthur will concede that Eames is right, sometimes.
--
As for Eames, well. He has all the pride, heart growing with love, etc etc, but you best believe he has several canvases and sketches and papers with a timeline of every iteration of Arthur, a visual chronicle of a beautiful man, drawn by Eames, over time, in varying mediums.
Not to say Eames has never felt strange about growing older, or Arthur growing older. But he's very much at peace with it, and earned the ability to be at peace with life - and himself. He's not afraid, not when there is so much to look forward to, and so much to learn.
And so many more versions of Arthur to appreciate and adore; on paper, and in person.
--
They both take the other ageing as something wonderful, something to be cherished. We only get one chance to get old, after all, but we get near endless chances to grow older. They don't get it right every day -- that is to say that sometimes life is an alarm clock that you get up and get on with on first ring, and sometimes in life you just press snooze and both is okay -- but they get it right often enough that they can call theirs 'a life, lived'.
So, yeah, they fall deeper and deeper in love with all the signs of age on each other -- it's all the time they've had, and all the incredible time they still have to gain.
#is that an edith piaf reference yes it is#but its also something i personally ask myself so#there you have it#you can't stop Arthurs brain from Doing The Thing#but Eames is always going to make it better#or ameliorate the worst of it#because they are a team#damn i didnt mean to get so sappy but here we are#and here i am#having feelings about two dudes#as an aside i'd like to think as they get older they swap their dress sense#it just makes sense to me#inception#arthur x eames#eyy what good is your otp if not for making peace with your own mortality
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Muse Aesthetic / Feelings
𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.
𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit (excessive training). withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.
𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.
𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑. wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot (!!!) making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.
𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired.passing out.
Tagged by: @militus an age and a half ago 🤍 Thank you, I had fun!
Tagging: /cracks knuckles. @sicsemper (Gee, I wonder who), @rcdfcxr (initially I wanted to request just Rufus, but I'm really interested in Reno as well, so both!), @inventorem (@aworldofyou because I don't know if you'll see this otherwise), @svnsworn (Jessie), @blitzrod, @tscng, @sentmail (I'm on the 'Lemme learn about Kunsel' train, shh), @lionfated (I've been missing Leon, pretty please), @annjiru (I also am on the Angael train still), @cwarscars (I need you to envision me as a koala very dramatically clinging to your leg), @spynorth (if you tell me you've done it already Lucas, it doesn't matter, do it again and again!), @trickstercaptain, @freedomhasfangs, @lighthouseborn (I can never have enough Henry Turner in my life, ever), @weaponiised, but also— @liifestreams (please give me Reeve, the novel is killing me slowly and he killed me a little). And anyone else? Steal it, I'm sure I've forgotten people and it's nothing personal whatsoever!
#[ tifa lockhart. ] she had buried the twinges of guilt beneath the narcissism of self-sacrifice. beneath the belief of 'the greater good'.#[ tifa lockhart / et cetera. ] but i work for shinra. i'm the enemy. / i don't care. i don't want anyone to die. please!#[ tifa lockhart / meta. ] people have many things pent up inside of themselves. so many things they can never forget. strange isn't it?#[ it has been years and i still never can decide what to 'file' this stuff under. probably just a me problem. ]#[ it's not quite meta because i didn't write it-- it's also not 'relevance' because-- well. not using it for this. ]#[ any way-- this was /very/ fun actually. and i sat here in contemplation for a few of them. ]#[ this actually puts into perspective; again; why i love the nuance of animation that remake gives tifa. ]#[ the voice and animation definitely added to just about anyone; i always want to point out how much of tifa is in the subtleties. ]#[ the clenched fists-- the self-hugging. the doubt that lingers within regardless of anger. and how it's shown even in little gestures. ]#[ like when she suggests going out on the town with cloud and he questions her for half a moment-- she folds back in on herself. ]#[ same thing with the train for example-- literally rooted in place. and it's not taking away from the bravery she holds on many levels. ]#[ it's the nuance of bravery-- that it isn't black or white. you can have doubt and i think the remake did a chef's kiss job with that. ]#[ because we're so immensely layers as human beings-- so it's incredible to me to see a game reflect on that so heavily. ]#[ that game is incredibly human. it's an incredibly good depiction of human nature and reactions. ]#[ and god-- the VAs add to that magnificently. truly. ]#[ i literally cannot praise britt enough. she was so nervous and she aced it. they all did. ]#[ god; all i can think about (especially) is the 'what-ifs'-- literally. doubt. /doubt/. and that is what makes her so good. so real. ]#[ i'm gonna ramble a little more; excuse me-- can we talk about how realistic that is? no one who's brave won't doubt their actions. ]#[ tifa has lost everything to shinra-- sephiroth is shinra 'gone wrong'. she lost everything at his hands and no one could stop him. ]#[ not even shinra itself and that's very important. there's so much anger there that drives her to do selfish things. ]#[ and i note selfish because on the way to a smile has touched on this magnificently as i'd hoped it would. ]#[ she wants them to pay-- she wants her revenge. but she; arguably more than anyone; is aware of what that costs. ]#[ if avalanche goes through with this-- and she helps-- AND SHE DOES. she is responsible for people losing... ]#[ what she once lost. ]#[ and that is /so important/ to her character. before that happens; she is riddled with doubt. before she boards the train-- ]#[ when she's boarded the train and needs to jump off. that moment is /the/ moment where she makes a huge decision. ]#[ because look at how she is once she's jumped off. that entire chapter. she's relatively certain. she's going through with it. ]#[ no way back. ]#[ and then the plate falls not long after. /and then the plate is dropped/. yep. ]#[ ... i'm about to hit tag limit; don't worry-- i'll type about this soon. it's in my onenote! ]
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I don't want to be at work I want to be home writing some silly little words.
#stuff sarah says#jk id probably be working on an s+ run in re/4/r#(tryna not get picked up by tags)#but we finished the cle/on movie/mini series last night and it breathed new life into my fic idea#tbh i was sad there was just crumbs but i think thats all any shipper gets with this series#but i wanted to write this fic before i work more on my cringe fic bc its short#and i love instant gratification#and i have a title. its some fu/n. lyrics if that tells you the mood...#''if youre right here why do i miss you so much?''#and with ''now i just wait for you to talk to me but you wont even look at me baby'' as some ~flavor text~#came up with the fic by being like ''they should get smoothies together :)'' with the bestie#and now im gonna make it sad#babe if you see this i def will send you snippits as i write the rough draft#anyway. i dont want to be at work for a lot of reasons#it feels weird. theres too many people here tonight#and i think we're gonna get done super early with stuff we needed to do?#idk. id rather be home#i dont want to work anymore ever. i think i should be paid for having amazing takes on fictional characters#and being mildly interesting to talk to and being bad at video games but still having a good time#that last one is a real talent. real gamers take their L's#anyway
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I think about that time aubree got a casual hookup a lot I think largely because it was a time something nice happened to her with no downsides
#I am imagining her being treated softly. I am imagining her being touched gently. I am imagining her falling asleep in soft arms.#aubree talks about cooking with a gnome who named herself after an herb and drinks wine and has sex and wakes up and makes coffee for two#and doesn't think or talk about The Horrors even once. for twelve blessed hours. what a concept#I've had three glasses of wine and I am now crying about my blorbo ahskfdlsh she just has NO SUPPORT in the PARTY!!#justin has built a world full of kindness and goodness where being kind makes a real difference#where you can form real and rewarding connections with people in a living and responsive world and it's so wonderful#but we travel because we're adventuring!! so aubree only has the party actually present!!#and the party consists of a bard who works overtime to be rude and mean and make a BAD impression everywhere we go for no reason#and an overwrought teenager whose trauma is 1) the only trauma that matters and 2) overpowers ANY of those real and meaningful connections#her player constantly like 'ooOHhhHh justin your GRIM WORLD you are PUTTING LISBET THROUGH IT hohohooo'#ACTUALLY the entire POINT of this grim world is to highlight the power of love and hope in the face of darkness and despair!!#but you keep CLOSING YOUR EYES TO THAT!! and CHOOSING TO PLAY GRIMDARK NO MATTER WHAT!!#so I'm just sitting here like :) this is a world full of kindness and hope and aubree doesn't get any#cause she's the only one IN the party BRINGING any!!#and we don't stay long enough with any one NPC for them to be there for her#LAYS on the FLOOR.#it's a weird contrast with mel who is ALSO profoundly lonely because mel doesn't understand that#and if she DID she HAS friends she could lean on-- zhartook at the very least and probably also claire#aubree grew up in a big family in a tight community-- she KNOWS she needs connection and right now doesn't feel like she HAS anyone#sucksss#about me#aubree
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common kendall L
#THIS IS CRAZYYYY#loved the last episode actually#also rare roman W ?????#when he said youre bullshit we're all bullshit we're nothing like wow FINALLY?????#anyway i found watching the series kind of. insufferable 😭#and like what the hell is this tomgreg endgame lmfao 😭#whatever they have going on i dont wanna know anything ! dont care if it's pride month#roy kids are just a bunch of losers wbk !!!!!!!!!!#not saying logan roy is a good person or that i like him i dont like any of them but according to this show he was a good business man so ?#shivtom ok then!!!!!! shiv though still a nepo baby (semi capable???) i cant really find it in me to hate her#piss babiest award goes to kendall roy idc#ok real talk theres room.... a house for nuance here#ultimately this boils down to logan being a shitty dad to all of them and building a company that encourages toxic shit to fester#but even that piece of shit had his own demons#logan roy unforgivable unreedemable literally hell if it were a man#still... i liked that the last episode at least tried to show his good side (? lol 😭) the scene was the warmest a succession scene can go#also the scene of them acting like children. it was good. it reminded me of the boat scene in s1 at shiv's wedding (probably intentional)#if i could say which character i... didn't like necessarily but people i found interesting/captivating it would be...#kendall tbh... gerri shiv stewy caroline tom (he is SO weird and fucked up) greg??? frank? roman i was on the fence Always#it's bad that in his mind he's the middle child bc im the middle child 😭 I don't identify with this i don't claim it i don't approve of it#........but sometimes........ yeah#logan was right about one thing and that they are just unserious people lmfao 😭 nice parting words huh#unblocking the tag now!!!!!!! wow finally i can see what people were thought of this show/the characters#maybe my view is more cynical and too vanilla i'm sorry i just cant excuse the heinous shit these people did hence i don't have a favorite#it's just a fictional show (!!!!!!) well ok but i just didn't love them as characters!!!!!!! 😭#succession#izza💭
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Caustic for "send me a character" 👀
omg hiiii Mar :]
(you already know this is gonna be long lol)
First impression: okay to be honest, I kind of was neutral towards him. I just thought of him as some random old guy 💀
Impression now: now i am obsessed with him. I haven't talked about him recently, but i still luv him. He has so many problems and his superiority complex is kinda funny ngl. like yes, Alexander Maxwell Nox, we get it, you're like super smart or whatever. doesn't change the fact that you take yourself too seriously for your own good. also i think he is very attractive,,, i mean he's got dilf energy sdjsjdjsjdsd
he's tall and chunky and has a beard and has a nice voice (coughs included) like,,, UGH he has no reason 2 be that attractive.
and his voicelines oh My GOD,,,, he can literally use me for any of his silly little science experiments idc 😩
Favorite moment: hmmm, i found it SUPER funny when pathfinder caught him on his murder spree,,, he literally yeets himself outta there like:
(i tried 2 find a gif but you know what part i'm talking about)
this situation is also funny because caustic was like "give me humans 2 test my dangerous chemicals on" and his boss was like "no lol" and caustic got so butt hurt that he chose to manslaughter everyone in that facility lmao. like??? that's NOT how you deal with situations sir, but go off ig.
another favorite moment is when he told the apex organizers that he'd take care of the oil spill problem in the water on king's canyon but just,,, Lied(tm) about it. he got this whole facility and just started making gas??? he just goes off and does his own thing with regard to literally no one.
ohhhh, also that one time when he wanted to gas the entirety of solace city. like i have NO idea what was going on in that man's mind but wattson came over and knocked some sense into him (she literally just shocked him lmao). i think if he were to get shocked everytime he did something Not Good, then he'd turn out fine. give that man a shock collar/j
also, i found this comment when looking back at the secret message thingy:
-I have a plan
-My plan is to gas Solace city
-THE END
like???? JSDJSJDS that's literally it.
Idea for a story: i literally just want to see him and crypto become brothers. that is all i ask for. literally that's it. but he is just SO stubborn.
Another story idea is something to do with him and his mom. like,,, i would like to see more of what they're relationship is really like. I'm not saying that Mystik was a bad mom or anything, but I have a feeling that something happened between the two that caused some sort of falling out.
Unpopular opinion: the fact that,,, that i,, i find him handsome 0_0
(at least i don't think a lot of people like him in that way???)
Favorite relationship: hmmmm, tbh i have NO clue. i had hope for him when he was starting to become friends with wattson, but in true caustic fashion he messed that up for no good reason. and in all honesty? he 100% deserved that.
lol can i say him and crypto??? like they are SO mean to each other. again, for no good reason. bet, one day caustic is gonna learn korean just to spite crypto and to figure out all of the mean things crypto has been saying about him.
Favorite headcanon: hmmmm,,,
i like the headcanon that he is bi,,, but like he literally is just barely figuring this out
Caustic: "Hmmm, it appears that finding men attractive and admiring their features is not a common occurrence amongst other men. I shall study this phenomenon further..."
he is oblivious but also he's in denial maybe he even has some internalized homophobia idk
hmmm, he's lying when he says that he doesn't get lonely. he says he's too smart to be around anyone else but i think he uses that as an excuse. like sir, you need friends...
another hc is that he likes cooking and is actually pretty good at it! He often doesn't do it because it's a "waste of time". but also because he doesn't have anyone to cook for and he gets a bit sad when he sets the table for just himself
he also likes to look at art, specifically paintings. on very rare occasions, he allows himself a break from his lab to go to an art gallery or museum. there, he'll spend hours just analyzing the art pieces.
he's a cat person. he'll probably never keep one as a pet as he doesn't see the point in that. but he will admit that they are not as bad as most other animals.
okay one more- he often overthinks things. This isn't out of anxiety or anything like that. That's just the way he's accustomed to analyzing the world around him. He has to consider each and every variable (lol) and thoroughly evaluate anything and everything. that's just how his brain works
#asks#long post#i feel like i didn't write enough DSJDJSJDSD#i miss caustic where is he??? i gotta know what he's been up to#(probably up to no good if we're being real here)#anyways thanks for the ask Mar ^^#i appreciate it <3
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i did the biggest and scariest of the things on my list (the last thign on my list in fact) and it took like. MAYBE 5 minutes total including login time navigation and page loading.
now i get to have fancy Oreo Poptarts because i'm a big strong boy whose knee is slightly dislocated (it's fine i just went too hard and i'll wrap it up here in a minute) and did a big scary thing and also now gets to fully devote brain power to anxiety about the (potential) hole between two of my heart chambers and the accompanying doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.
#the lack of anxiety about this has been so bad i don't even have my alarms set and for every other dr appointment previously#i had those bitches up a week ahead of time as soon as they reminded me about my upcoming appointment#anyway it's fine it's all fine i'm going to be fine i'll figure it all out please just don't let me lose my health insurance because i move#i shouldn't but. i fear.#and boy howdy i'm good at one particular thing and that thing is being afeared about things#oh sure my knees are fine for years while i have 3 available knee braces#i pare down to one really solid one with intentions to grab a second at some point in the distant future#and i'm feeling froggy right i'm feeling good everything is a-okie dokie so i lend my remaining knee brace out to my partner for moving shi#(cross country long haul style and they're gonna need it because heavy lifting)#forgetting of course that i'm heading into the part of the month where my joint stability (already tenuous) is reduced even further#thanks estrogen! hhhhhhhh#and i keep doing Up And Downs with squats and kneeling#thankfully it's the knee i call my bad knee even if it's both of them relatively equally nowadays#so i'm used to it being unstable and not great to stand on (and then do it anyway)#i'm mainly trying to keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't swell up real bad like it did the first time i fucked it#when it earned the moniker of ''bad knee'' out of the two i've got#garrett's knee is fine right now but i'll probably end up bracing it when this one goes back to normal for the compensation i'm doing on it#ohhh bottle of naproxen we're really in it now#thank god it's workable though like so long as i'm In One Position and i don't sit with my leg folded up underneath me it's fine#it means i have fewer Gay And Neurodivergent ways to sit than normal but like i'll deal lmao#i just have to get through tomorrow and then i can rest the whole rest of the week until the move crew gets back up here#and then we will help with this#i'm really grumpy the thing i put off for weeks took like. a couple of clicks and a real quick county check#i really anticipated that being a longer process
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Someone sent me an ask about how to avoid antisemitism when talking about what's happening in Palestine, but Tumblr ate it. This is a really important question, because we don't want to fight one oppression while enabling another; we don't want to accidentally foment the conditions that lead to antisemitic violence, and we also don't want to shy away from speaking about Gaza for fear that we're doing so.
Here are my thoughts.
There are a lot of unconscious antisemitic beliefs that people hold, that they may not be consciously aware of. They may have learned these from parents, peers, or society at large. Like any bigotry, a huge part of not being harmful in bigoted ways comes down to learning what unconscious bigotry looks like within you and learning how it is expressed.
Antisemitism is very old, and there are a lot of tropes and beliefs that have developed through the years. Many of these are alive and well, though they may be subtle enough that people don't realize they're carrying them. However, they show up in the way that people speak, especially about Israel and Palestine. Here are some:
1. Jews are overwhelmingly wealthy
2. Jews control the world
3. Jews control a given country (eg the US)
4. Jews are not oppressed
5. Jews are some of the most privileged people in society; more than non-Jewish white people. Jews are white people but even more so.
6. Jews are whiny and complain about their nonexistent oppression too much
7. Jews are sneaky, deceptive, and untrustworthy. They don't speak sincerely or plainly; they have an ulterior motive and are trying to get one over on you.
8. Jews are greedy
9. Jews are really powerful
10. Jews undermine and destabilize movements and countries. (This one connects to 3, 7, and 8).
11. Jews are inherently guilty; a good Jew needs to apologize for being Jewish
12. Jews are bloodthirsty and desire violence against non-Jews
13. A Jew is from somewhere else, and does not belong in the place that they are.
14. Jews sap resources from the country they are in and funnel them into their own communities/interests. They are a vampire-like parasite on the societies they live in.
How do these get expressed in the movement? Here are some examples (these are paraphrases and combinations of various things I've seen):
Example A:
"American Jews are complaining about oppression while living in their NYC apartments and taking Ubers. It's ridiculous, so much privilege and entitlement." This one's got 1, 4, 5, 6, and 7.
1: Assumes wealth. Plenty of us can't afford NYC apartments or Ubers!
4, 5, and 6: self-explanatory.
7: Belief that on some level, fear of antisemitism can't really be sincere; we must be talking about it for some other purpose, eg to distract from "real" issues.
Example B:
"The US is funding this genocide because of the influence of Israel and Israel's interests, and the Jewish lobbyists." Employs 3 and 9.
3: The US is doing this because of its own interests; if anything, the US wants to be able to use Israel as a pawn.
9: Imagines Jewish lobbyists as powerful enough to drive US policy. Also forgets how dramatically the US dwarfs Israel in size, money, and power; imagines it's the other way around.
Example C:
"These Israeli first responders are lying about finding mutilated and sexually abused bodies after October 7th. This Israeli girl who was held hostage is lying about having talked to fellow hostages who were sexually assaulted. This Israeli first responder is lying about children having been killed on October 7th."
This is 4, 6, and mainly 7.
7 because it assumes that these people are telling these lies for some nefarious purpose: to garner false sympathy, or worse, to manufacture support for genocide. It cannot be because they are actually telling the truth.
Example D:
"It's suspect if someone talks too much about antisemitism. Or if they correct my misinformation. They are probably a crypto-Zionist. In fact, all of these Jewish tumblr bloggers are crypto-Zionists."
(The first part of this I haven't heard said; but rather it's the unspoken attitude I'm frequently presented with.)
This one has 4, 5, 6, 7 and 10. Mostly 7 and 10.
Beliefs that our goal is to derail pro-Palestine organizing by sewing Zionist beliefs in the movement. That we would be capable of such (9). That it's impossible that we're sincere and we're concerned both about what's happening in Gaza and the everpresent, intangible potent threat of imminent antisemitic violence.
Example E:
"What everpresent threat of imminent antisemitic violence? You're either delusional, too privileged to understand how oppressed you aren't, or lying to some sinister purpose."
The first two (delusional and too privileged) often comes from other Jews, who, yes, can be antisemitic too.
This one has: 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9.
Example F:
"As a Jew I know I am responsible for what's happening in Gaza, and I need to call in my people who deny our privilege and who think they're unsafe."
1, 4, 5, 6, 11. Shades of 10.
Example G:
"Israel is invading Gaza for oil."
8. Also this isn't true.
Example H:
"No Israeli is a civilian. All settlers are guilty, and need to leave."
Technically, it is possible for someone to hold this belief consistently for all settlers worldwide due to stringent decolonial beliefs. However, it frequently is applied only to Israelis. In such an iteration, I think it contains 10, 11, 12, and 13.
Which leads to my next point: Double standards. If something doesn't invoke a particular trope, but views Jewish or Israeli actions more harshly than we'd view the equivalent in any other place or people, to me that's suspect.
For example, relating to the above, if we believe that Truth and Reconciliation is the answer in the US and Canada, but in Israel the answer would be forced displacement of the Jewish population, that would be antisemitic.
Also, if we're able to hold nuance around the idea of refugees to the US and Canada, and understand that they're simultaneously taking part in colonialism while also arriving under duress because they need a place to live, we can extend the same nuance to the idea of Jewish refugees (Holocaust survivors, SWANA Jews, Ethiopian Jews, etc) who have come to Israel.
And, going back to example A, is there any other marginalized group we would say is not actually oppressed because members of it live in NYC and take Ubers? No? Then, it's antisemitic when you say it about Jews.
I also think misinformation about Jewish history and identity is antisemitic. For example, lines of thought that deny our ancestral, historical, cultural, and liturgical connections to the land of Israel/Palestine. One false belief I see a lot is Khazar Theory, popularized by the quack Shlomo Sand. This states that Ashkenazi Jews do not have ancestral origins in what's now Israel/Palestine, but rather descend from a mass conversion of Turkic peoples in the Kingdom of Kazaria. It is not, in fact, true.
Something else along these lines is back-defining origins and land-connection through current events. For example, a white gentile ex-friend of mine shared a post stating that because the IDF, as well as settler extremists, destroy Palestinian olive trees (an egregious act, in my opinion, as well as against Jewish law), this means we are not native to the land. While I understand the term native is complex and this might have been an attempt to denote our positionality as colonizer in a colonizer-indigenous dynamic, the framing of the post led me to believe that, actually, the post was using these actions to prove that we do not actually originate from the land.
Destroying Palestinian olive trees is an act of great violence against the land, against the Palestinian people, and against our own history, culture, and religious traditions. However, it does not change the historical fact of our origins or ancestry, nor the fact the our religious traditions are deeply intertwined with the seasons, climate, and agriculture of Israel-Palestine, even when that puts them out of sync with the seasons and climate of wherever we live in Diaspora.
I hope this is helpful. This is a really hard time for so many of us, and I know it can feel like derailing to focus on antisemitism right now, and to focus on the potential of future violence when the people of Gaza are experiencing actual extreme levels of violence right now. But if we truly believe that none of us are free until all of us are free, then fighting antisemitism has to be part of our collective liberation. We cannot and should not fight genocide by engaging in oppression. Speaking up for Gaza and Palestine does not have to mean fomenting conditions that put Jews in danger of bigotry and violence. The world we're building is one where seeing your trees destroyed, or your family killed, or your home receding into the distance as you are forced to leave is but a distant memory. For Palestinians, and for Jews, and for everybody on this Earth.
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but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader
when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
carlossainz55
liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others
carlossainz55: never forget where you came from
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user100: insert cricket noises here
user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?
user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry
landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)
carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win
landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(
carlossainz55: i'm an only child
landonorris: oh-
user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn
user104: that's so unbelievably fucked
user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER
user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one
yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride
carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you
yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them
carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?
yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family
carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back
yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water
carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you
yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!
user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING
user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP
user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house
maxverstappen1: ugly twins
carlossainz55: really?
maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said
carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her
maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have
user109: OOP
user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary
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user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf
user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her
user116: i'd abandon my family for that face
yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it
charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight
yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator
pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever
charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?
pierregasly: apparently!
yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(
charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me
yourusername: that's my job 🤨
pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves
user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation
oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?
user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?
oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway
user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do
user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points
maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for
yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this
maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track
maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf
yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy
carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)
yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide
maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN
maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you
carlossainz55: i am better than charles
yourusername: lying is a sin
maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell
user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting
user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again
user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in
user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN
f1
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others
tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55
f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!
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user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it
user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh
oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name
yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you
oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit
user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1
user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race
maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!
user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen
maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!
user128: why the fuck were the last two there?
georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓
alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey
yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie
georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!
alexalbon: he's not
georgerussell63: i'm not
user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together
user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop
alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n
user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama
carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well
yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe
carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore
yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?
carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't
oscarpiastri: suck my dick
yourusername: now that's true poetry
user132: oH!
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri
yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go
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user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid
user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause
oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on
yourusername: oh dibs on ring master
logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking
yourusername: okay yes skinny legend
maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe
maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters
charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty
yourusername: and you would be the best at it
oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one
user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?
user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that
charles_leclerc: 🤨
carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant
yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...
carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it
logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)
yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?
yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie
carlossainz55: i have friends?
yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference
carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it
yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?
yourusername: QUICKLY.
fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me
user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio
user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again
charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever
maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog
yourusername: boy do i have news for you
carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him
yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first
charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to
user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^
charles_leclerc
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others
tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri
charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us
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user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog
user143: glow up of the century some might say
liked by charles_leclerc
yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism
charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3
maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION
yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?
maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey
yourusername: girl are WE good?
maxverstappen1: no
yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY
charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here
user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions
maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man
yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image
maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS
user145: max will nawt let this go
maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived
yourusername: GIRL
maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz
olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure
charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY
yourusername: no he actually is he's crying
charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones
olliebearman: it's okay i swear
charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER
carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free
olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness
user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my
olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail
yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?
user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON
user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination
user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family
oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)
yourusername: the best way to be
charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)
oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando
yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well
oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at
yourusername
liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: first mother's day with my boys
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user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it
user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section
charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children
yourusername: only the best with you :(
charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much
yourusername: i love you even more
user152: they're so fucking cute
user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months
user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)
oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx
yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie
danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?
yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...
danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him
user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine
oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz
yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members
user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck
oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it
maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?
charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids
maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨
yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can
charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?
yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get
charles_leclerc: oh :(
user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing
carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.
yourusername: you done?
carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me
yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?
carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to
yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you
user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money
yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!
user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN
fin.
note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx
ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3
note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx
taglist: in comments!
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc#astonmartinii
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have we talked about the woolworths debacle yet?
Sigh.
Alright kids strap in, because the culture wars are back and stupider than ever.
So there are two characters you need to be familiar with in this story before we continue:
Woolies (i.e. Woolworths) - One of two supermarket chains in Australia. Not related to the giant Woolworths chain that used to exist overseas, other than the Aussie one swiped the name because the original forgot to trademark the name 'Woolworths' here. Biggest company in Aus, and also the biggest employer. Not a brand anyone with more than two braincells would pick a fight with.
Peter Dutton - Man with less than two braincells, and current leader of the political opposition in Australia. Best known for bearing a passing resemblance to a potato and once demanding that a homophobic song get played for balance when a football halftime show performed 'Same Love'. His reputation is so bad that if you told an Australian that Dutton's favorite pastime was drowning puppies, they probably would believe you.
And to prove our point, here's the best headline a friendly newspaper could come up with to try spin his image:
The third thing you need to know is that in Australia we have a national holiday called "Australia Day" which is basically a scheduled day for everyone to get into a giant argument.
This is because for the last 30ish years it has been held on the anniversary of the British claiming the land around Sydney as a colony which was:
a) More the founding of an English prison then the founding of Australia, and more importantly
b) from the perspective of the people who were already living here, kindof a very shit day
Now not everyone agrees on this, and even those that don't 'celebrate' will often still have a get together with friends, but it can't be denied that we've shifted a long way from the days when the country used to celebrate Australia Day by kitting ourselves out in Aussie flag budgie smugglers, drinking enough beer to drown Harold Holt, and partying like it's 1789.
(Now a brief break for a real photo of Peter Dutton at a press conference)
Good luck sleeping tonight. Anyway back to the story.
As a result of this shift away from the trend of showing your patriotism by wearing Australian flag underpants, this year Woolworths decided that they were no longer going to be rolling out their box of southern cross thongs - on the grounds that "this kitschy shit never sells" and they are far too busy with more important things like blaming price gouging on inflation and installing self-checkout machines that think your canvas bag is a crime against humanity.
Never a man to miss an opportunity to act like a massive twat, upon hearing that Woolies had dumped their flag merch, Peter Dutton rushed onto the airwaves to declare that Woolworths had "gone woke" (paging 4chan circa 2009) and called for the country to boycott the store, a story which Australia's media have gleefully put on loudhale for over a week now in order to drive outrage clicks.
We at this point remind you that Woolworths is a company which, as we previously mentioned, basically has a monopoly on selling food in this country. Not exactly something you can boycott.
(Another real Dutton photo break)
Needless to say Dutton's dumbass plan did not immediately put Woolies out of business, however the relentless media campaign by Rupert Murdoch's minions did result in a bunch of innocent low-wage floor staff being harrassed by The Dark Lord's fanboys and a few Woolies stores were graffitied.
Allegedly being the 'free market' guy, Dutton also kindof snookered himself by demanding the free market not decide the fate of Australia day, but logic was never one of his strong suits.
Anyway, in the end we're just going to keep having this dumb circular argument every year, fulled by a media who love fanning the flames, until a politician has the guts to shift the date to May 8 (pronounced m8), and everyone promptly forgets this was ever a thing.
All in all, that's the long and the short of it. As a final touch we'll leave you with this real tweet by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, in all its batshit glory.
We look forward to the absolute dumpster fire of comments this post is going to generate - as is the Australia Day tradition.
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partners in crime
luke castellan x fem!dionysus!reader [the trouble!verse]
MAIN SERIES MASTERPOST
summary: few things are certain in this life as a demigod, but one thing is for sure— you can’t fight fate when it pulls you and luke castellan together, over and over again. two young people who hate the gods are more like them than they think, for better or worse. annoyances to best friends to lovers
things to know: dionysus!reader's nickname is trouble & most of these can be read as standalones!
here's a playlist (spotify & apple music links now available!)
child of dionysus headcanons!
trouble!verse moodboard 1 & moodboard 2 & college!trouble by the lovely @24kmar
deleted scenes from a different universe (AUs)
play the extended cuts (blurbs from in-between)
character study: luke castellan & trouble
any works, updates, thoughts, musings, etc about this series will be tagged under #trouble!verse !
key: fluff - ☼ angst - ☽ smut - ☆ jo's favorites - ᥫ᭡
[rewind to before] pre-established relationship
trouble always finds me (trouble!reader origin story) 1.7k ☼
The one where he could tell you were trouble from the day he met you. (You're an annoyance, but not an enemy)
entropy ☼
The one where you both blur the lines between annoyance and admiration. (the promise of becoming partners in crime)
buddy system 4.2k ☼
The one where he comes with you to rescue your younger twin brothers, Pollux & Castor. (this is as close to a real quest that Mr. D will give you--might as well take someone you trust!)
somebody's angel 4.4k ☽
The one where you convince him he’s pretty, even with a scar. (songfic - Die Alone - Finneas)
feed the fire 1.2k ☼
The one where his focus is not on spilled food, but on you. (Luke realizes this is more than playful banter)
bedtime stories 2.4k ☼
The one where night shift with him runs late, but you don’t mind at all. (the both of you have feelings you want to admit, but duty calls!)
crazy little thing 3.4k ☼
The one where he uses all his drachmas to make you smile on Valentine's Day. (the Apollo kids are better matchmakers than Aphrodite, sometimes)
anything you want 1.6k ☼
The one where you and him have your first kiss. (You've always loved teaching the story of Orpheus and Eurydice; except when your Orpheus runs away from you)
said he likes crazy 2.1k ☼ ☽
The one where only he can help you with a bad day, even if he's avoided you since your first kiss. (For being a son of Hermes, he has a way of calming your nerves)
[pause and remember us like this] established relationship
play pretend 5.1k ☼
The one where Mr. D catches you two in the act, but you and him aren’t exactly together yet. (Drunk words are sober thoughts. Your dad just wishes Luke told you instead of him)
a wish your heart makes 1.4k ☼ ☽
The one where you share dreams, burn cookies, and it still reminds him of home. (The dryads will probably ban you from the kitchen after this)
chance encounters ☼
The one where you both daydream about different lives. (You think you'd find him anywhere, by soul alone)
to see the chaos through ☽
The one where he remembers he was never a good guy, just yours. (Luke makes the ultimate deal with the devil in order to save you)
not your goddess ☽
The one where you both know the best of days eventually have to come to an end. (songfic - Goddess - Laufey)
don't blame the kids ☼
The one where you both chaperone a trip to Mount Olympus. (the Olympians are bigger gossips than you thought they'd be)
trouble's coming for you 3.7k ☼
The one where Percy meets his two favorite counselors at Camp Half-Blood. (three times Percy is oblivious (and in the way) and the time he realizes you and Luke are in love)
now that we're older 3.5k ☼
The one where he asks if you can stay the night even if all of cabin 11 makes fun of him. (Luke is tired of the routine. He just needs his girl)
if you need to be mean (be mean to me) 1.5k☽
The one where he leaves before you wake up. (songfic - I Don't Smoke - Mitski )
[fast forward until we meet again] post-tlt
lovers, or partners in crime 2.1k ☽
The one where Annabeth and Percy think you’re guilty too. (the last day leading up to Luke's betrayal)
love like a blister: the five stages of loving losing luke 4.7k ☽
The one where you learn to mourn someone even if they’re still alive. (the five stages of grief after facing a loss)
to catch a thief 3.7k ☼ ☽
The one where duty calls at Camp Half-Blood. Again. (Your reunion with Luke isn't quite what you expected.)
solipsism 5.3k ☽
The one where you finally pray to Hestia to keep your home safe, even if he's also trying to destroy it. (the four times Luke uses Backbiter to visit you during college ft. the first time you trust a god to help you)
angel with a broken wing ☼ ☽
The one where he falls from grace and still thinks of you. (the four women Luke Castellan risked it for and how it will end up killing him)
love me dry 4.5k ☼ ☽
The one where he meets you at his mother's house, though both of you didn't expect the other to be there. (a glimpse into May Castellan's idea of a perfect day)
when the curtains close (LATEST ADD) 5.3k☽
The one where you lose two people in the Labyrinth that day. All strings are cut. (Annabeth and Pollux find out the biggest difference between you and Luke.)
asking for trouble ☽
The one where Luke's final wish is to see you. (He's himself again, and all he wants is to find out if the trouble was worth it all)
as above, so below ☽ ☼
The one where you plead your case with the gods of Olympus. (The one thing the fates didn't expect was how much you'd both be like your fathers; in a way, you and Luke didn't see it coming either)
ask to be added to luke/general taglist 🥹
#made by ma1dita ♥︎#luke castellan x reader#pjo series#luke castellan x dionysus!reader#pjo imagines#luke castellan x reader fanfic#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#🪽#trouble!verse#percy series#pjo x reader#jo's navi <3
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big bad wolf
f!reader x bangchan ft. stray kids
smut | mdni
2.6k
maybe you bit off more than you could chew when you hyped up your game to the owner of the campus’ infamous big dick owner
nsfw tags under the cut
#5: huge dick + size kink (twt p☆rnlink)
college!au, toxic ex bf!minho, frat boy!bangchan, alcohol consumption, one night stand, explicit consent asked and given, chan is really a tease, gentle dom!chan, daddy kink (i mean we're talking about chan here) , size kink (reader is smaller than chan), huge monster cock!bangchan, size training, protected sex (good job), oral (f), multiple orgasms, some humor at the end ♡
a/n : i was like this 🥴🥴🥴 writing this because ughhh im in love with this bangchan! wanna see the other entries for the event? check out the link <3
3k celebration | skz masterlist | navigation
“I mean being single is great and all” you said while downing the rest of the ungodly cocktail your best friend mixed for you earlier at the party. Before she left with Jisung. “But like I miss the toxic sex, ya know?” Christopher nodded his head while he took the empty cup from your hand to set it at the table beside the both of you on the couch.
The party was over so to speak. Everyone had left or was just passed out on random surfaces all over the frat. ΝΣΒ (nu sigma beta) was the frat that organized the best parties on campus. Well the second best parties but ΩΔΦ (omega delta phi) had Minho going to their parties and well you were finally over him that wasn't to run into him at a random party to drink and hook up with him again. You were determined to break free of the destructive cycle. That’s how you came to attend the parties here and met Christopher and his frat bros Changbin and Jisung. These three were quite the trio. Well not right now because Jisung was probably fucking your best friend somewhere and Changbin was passed out over the keg. Only Christopher remained somewhat (if not entirely) sober. He didn’t like alcohol that much, he claimed.
“Yeah I get you dude. Toxic sex is the best…” Christopher sighed. “But why though?”
“I don’t know man!” you said with a pout. “Also my ex was like… packing” the alcohol in your system was making it harder to perceive the fine line between sharing past experiences and simply oversharing. But Christopher wasn’t phased by it at all. On the contrary he was… intrigued.
“Really?” He questioned.
“Bro, he was real big. Like real big.” you said, closing your eyes trying to recall the extraordinary appendix Minho was blessed with. “The biggest I’ve ever seen really. I just miss that…” you said, finally opening your eyes again, purposefully avoiding thinking about your ex’s devil dick for too long before you drunkenly run to the other side of campus and to him again. When you open your eyes you see Christopher looking at you with an indecipherable expression.
“Well yeah. I miss someone that’s used to dealing with guys that are on the bigger end of the spectrum” Christopher was speaking very carefully, he was very clearly trying to hint at something but at the same time he didn’t want to come off as pressing or bragging.
You raised an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?” you asked as neutral as you could be, but still picking up on Christopher’s hint.
“Well you know. Girls always say it’s what they want. But like when I pull it out they either just run away or I mean they pull through but I can tell they’re not enjoying it. So I usually cut things short.”
It’s true you heard one or two rumors about Christopher also being on the bigger end but you never paid attention to them. Now, they were suddenly running back to you.
“I just wanna be with a girl that's kinky and that you know… just enjoys herself with me”
Suddenly you were looking at him differently. You looked at his big biceps resting crossed over his chest and the sleeveless loose fitted white top. He was wearing a cap that covered his soft brown curls but they were still peaking at the back of his head and around his reddened ears.
All of a sudden you were painfully conscious of Chris’ sheer size. Even though he was simply sitting next to you his large sturdy shoulders occupied the space on the couch. You found your eyes wandering to his lower half where his muscular thighs generously filled the black basketball shorts. And eventually your gaze wandered to his groin where you did notice a particularly remarkable bulge.
“You know, bro?” Chris took off the cap briefly, combing his hair with one large hand before flipping it backwards and patting it back on. He looked a little bit frustrated.
“Yeah I get it.”
Silence settled.
“Looks like we could like… help each other… maybe” you started carefully. That was uncharted territories, you didn’t know how Chris was going to react but you were a little intoxicated and that made you forget about the consequences or more like postpone thinking about them. You’ll do that tomorrow.
A cocky smirk spread on Chris’ face. An expression you had yet to witness. Usually he was all about wholesome smiles and cute laughs. But this one, this expression stirred excitement and thrill within you.
“Wanna see the big bad wolf?” Chan said right before sending you a cheeky wink that left you speechless. Before he started laughing out loud and lightly pushed you on the arm. “Just messing with you” Chris said, returning to the sunny smile.
“Why are you all cocky for anyway?” you outbid. “I’m sure it’s nothing I haven’t seen” you said, shrugging, eyes a little defiant. And Chris’ smirked returned to his handsome face just as quick. He felt a tingle in his lower half. He enjoyed that attitude you had right now. Wouldn’t it be fun to make you swallow those words? Amongst other things…
“Think you can handle it, babygirl?” Chan said, extending his massive arm behind your head on the couch and leaning on to you, making you feel even smaller. You took a whiff of his cologne, the alluring aromas or vanilla, cedar and citrus casting a spell on you.
“Yeah of course I can” you said, steady voice oozing all the confidence in the world. Making Chris chuckle again.
***
Well maybe you couldn’t…
That is what you thought when Christopher dragged you to his room as the early rays of the dawning sun were licking the blinds.
“Having second thoughts, babygirl?” Christopher said, smiling down at you while you looked up at him and sat on his bed. The loose fitting top was all he had left on him. Even the cap was now littering the ground, letting the soft brown curls loose. and you silently thanked the heavens for this. Maybe if he would have been completely nude you would have died right there.
He was absolutely breathtaking: large shoulders, thick arms and veiny forearms going down to his big hand holding the absolute monster that usually peacefully rested between his sturdy thighs. But right now it was awakened, and awaiting.
The thing was not only incredibly massive but also unbelievably long. Thick veins ornamented the length of it from the base to the red and dripping tip.
“So am I bigger than your ex?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Um, yeah a little bit I think”
Lie. Big fat lie.
Christopher knew that. He knew that very well but he appreciated that you kept up with that act. He found that amusing.
“Perfect! Let’s get started then”
“What?” you said as he wrapped his warm hands around both your wrists, gently pushing you down on the mattress until you laid there with only your feet hanging off the bed. He put your wrists at each side of your face, laying his weight over you. He was heavy, but it was comforting, reassuring. You felt small but also safe under him. The heat from his body ignited a fire within you.
“Don’t worry babygirl” Chris whispered leaning into your ear. You felt his hot breath fanning your burning cheek. “Daddy will get you nice and ready for him.” You felt yourself flutter at the name. You were definitely responding to it.
Christopher licked big swipe on your ear making your breath itch in your throat and you bit your lip to repress a moan. Fortunately you didn’t have to think about it too much because Chris kissed you instantly, one of his hands leaving your wrist to wrap around your throat, his thumb pulling on your chin to open your mouth. You didn’t fight back, letting him slip his tongue into your mouth. He tasted sweet, like energy drinks and tropical fruit juice. Now you knew for sure he was completely sober. But Chris, on the other hand, wasn't so sure anymore, because he sure felt drunk right now. Drunk in you, in this kiss. He threw himself into you, moaning in your mouth as you arched your back and he rolled his hips into you, pressing his hard cock onto your hip.
Before you could think too much about it Chris stripped you of your clothes, one article after the other until you found yourself completely exposed to him. Chris got up and took a step back to admire your body under the rays of the sun piercing through the blinds. You were gorgeous, stunning and he couldn’t wait to finally be inside you.
He then pulled on your hips to bring you on the edge of the bed where he kneeled on the ground and gently parted your legs.
“Fuckk” he cursed under his breath when he saw your cute little pussy already glistening with need and lightly twitching. He only wanted one thing: to taste you. So he did.
He first laid a gentle kiss on your clit which made you jolt up and he smirked against you in satisfaction.
“Awww baby. Are you always this sensitive or is it daddy doing that to you?” He licked a large stripe from your entrance to your clit, staying there for a second giving more attention to the sensitive bud.
“F-fuckkk. No it’s y-you” you breathed in, arching your back and fisting the sheets beneath you. “Daddy is doing this to m-me”
Christopher felt his heavy length jump just as the mention of the word in your mouth, it sounded so fucking good, so fucking sexy. It made him want to please you, be good for you.
He licked and swirled his tongue on your swollen bud earning more moans and pants from you. Until your cunt was throbbing against his lips and your heart was beating in your ears.
“Im… Fuck… gonna c-cum” you said lifting your face to see Christopher looking up at you from between your thighs.
“Go ahead baby. Cum for daddy”
You came undone at the end of his tongue, your walls fluttering around nothing, thick slick gushing out of you and covering Chris’ face.
“God fuck.. don’t- s-stop” you begged, tensing up your legs and your orgasm ripped through you. Chris didn't stop there, instead he gradually slowed down to help you down your high at your own rhythm.
“Fuckkk... Please daddy I need you inside me” you said looking at him. And he got back on his feet again. With disconcerting ease he grabbed you at the hips and flipped you on your stomach and lifted you so you were on all fours.
He reached for his night stand where he took out of one of the drawers a condom and tore the wrapper hastily.
“Was hoping you’d say that babygirl”
As soon as the condom was on he brought his tip to your soaked and fluttering little hole. You were feeling desperately empty and you wanted nothing more than to be stuffed full of Chris’ big fat cock. You wiggled your hips to urge him to fill you up.
“Are you ready baby?” he asked, making sure one last time you were still on board.
“Yess daddy.. Yes please. Don't make me beg” You said, despair dripping from your lips. And Christopher resisted the urge to do just that. Maybe another time.
He started to push his huge cock inside you and you braced yourself feeling your walls expand beyond belief to accommodate the thick and hard length. Very slowly Chris continued to progress inside you. You gritted your teeth, fisting the sheet even harder and exhaling a faint complaint.
“It’s okay baby. You can do it. Big breaths, ok?” Chris encouraged you before continuing.
Thanks to Chris’ prepping, the pain was bearable. Now you didn't even have a single shadow of a doubt left. Chris was indeed bigger than Minho.
Soon enough he managed to push the whole monstrous thing inside you.
“There you go baby” Chris said gently stroking your back. “That’s my good girl. Say when daddy can move okay, darling?” he laid a soft kiss to the crown of your back, his voice appeared to be somewhat strained. Your tightness was also hard to handle on his part.
“Ok” you huffed quietly.
You took a couple of seconds to get used to him but eventually the pain disappeared.
“You… can move”
Slowly Chris started to pull out only to push right back in when his tip was just barely hinging in.
“Oh- fuckfuckfuck” you panted.
“You’re doing so good, baby. So good for daddy” Chris said, pulling out once again.
He repeated the process until he felt you relax around him and the sharp breaths and sighs turned into moans and whines.
“Fuckk so… so fucking big” you said arching your back while Chirs’ big hands wrapped around your waist to pull you back on his cock everytime he was pushing in.
“Fuck your little cunt is so wet and tight for me baby”
“Hmmm daddy” you whined. “Please faster”
“Fuck so fucking naughty” he said as started to fuck you faster, deeper, dragging your precious nectar on his cock and making you moan louder.
“Fuck I won’t last long baby”
“Pleasepleaseplease daddy I'm almost there”
Chris circled your hip and brought two fingers to rub circles on your clit, you threw your head back, completely letting go of the last bit of sanity you had left. Chris felt you throbbing around his cock.
“Fuck daddy…I'm cumminggg”
“That's it cum for daddy” Chris said, his voice was strained as he felt you flutter around him, urging him to let got. Spurts of hot cum rushed into the condom as he hips became erratic, as continuously fucked into you until you were both satifed and out of breath.
You collapsed and he rolled next to you, taking the condom off and tying it before rushing to the bathroom and returning with a warm towel and handing it to you.
“Fuck that was… amazing” he told you with a bright smile that you knew.
“So you like being called daddy? Now I understand why you’re into kinky girls.” you said, raising an eyebrow, teasingly.
“Oh– Hm.. well. Yeah… sorry it was like in the heat of the moment” he scratched the side of his face before ruffling his brown curls.
“Oh don't worry about it. I liked it”
“We should like.. do that again sometimes… I mean if you're down”
It’s funny how he started all cocky and confident and now he was the one stumbling on his words and being flustered. You found that cute.
“Yeah we should”
“CHRIS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???” You heard Jisung’s loud voice coming from the hall. “WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR PRACTICE” He fumbled with the door handle. “WHY IS YOUR DOOR CLOSED?”
“Get the fuck out Jisung. I’m busy” Chris said and you giggled.
“Bro, I think he’s fucking someone in there” Jisung said, this time to someone else.
“OI, MATE WHO’S IN THERE WITH YOU?? IS IT Y/N??” Felix’ unmistakably low voice asked.
“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT“ Chris shouted.
“Fuck… I think you made him mad.” Felix said.
“Bro how the fuck is it me? You the one who insisted” You heard the two voices getting further.
“Don’t pay attention to them” Chris said and you both laughed and went back to bed, to get a well deserved couple of hours of sleep before a day full of college classes.
3k celebration | skz masterlist | navigation
a/n: thanks for reading babe if you enjoyed reblig or leave a comment because delulu is the solulu <3
#bangchan smut#bangchan#christopher bang#skz smut#skz#stray kids#stray kids smut#bangchan x reader#bangchan stray kids#bangchan x you#bangchan x y/n#bangchan x female reader#kpop smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids hard thoughts#stray kids hard hours#bangchan hard thoughts#bangchan hard hours
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Stateside | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley made a mistake last summer when he left for his deployment without ever asking you out, and then he thought about you a lot when he was gone. He was stateside again for less than a day when the other guys coerced him to help with a fundraiser at the Hard Deck. A friendly wager with the squad might not be the only thing he wins by the end of the night.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, drinking, swears
Length: 4500 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Check out my masterlist for more. Banner made by @thedroneranger Written for Pick Your Poison
Bradley had barely been stateside for twenty four hours when he woke up in his bed at noon to an array of texts arriving all at once. Five months on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with nothing much going for him left him surprisingly exhausted. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his friends, he just needed a full day to himself to readjust.
He groaned and rolled over after glancing at his phone and seeing the words Hard Deck in a message from Jake. He closed his eyes again after tossing his phone aside, but about ten seconds later, he cracked them open again. If there was one thing he had consistently thought about over the course of those five months, it was you. Your bright smile, your perfect laugh, your navy blue tee shirts that said The Hard Deck across the front.
When he reached for his phone and checked the message from Jake, he sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. Maybe this could be an excuse to see you again sooner rather than later.
Hangman: Hey, we need you to come to the Hard Deck tonight. It's the annual charity event, and Bob can't make it. We're short a bartender. And don't try to bitch out of this, Phoenix told me you're home.
Bradley covered his face with his hand and thought long and hard about this. The real bartenders would be there to help which meant there was a chance you'd be one of them. If he volunteered for this, then maybe he'd find himself in close quarters with you for a few hours instead of the other Naval officers he'd been stuck with for months on end. Just the idea of accidentally bumping into you while pouring a beer had him texting Jake back.
Yeah, I'll be there.
Even though he was still pretty tired later in the afternoon, Bradley took a shower and then spent some extra time on his hair before dressing in his lucky shirt. That five month deployment was the reason he didn't ask you out during the summer, and now he was nervous to see you again. He had good intel from Penny that you'd been single the last time he saw you in August, but what if you had a boyfriend now? Or worse, what if you didn't even acknowledge him when you saw him?
He groaned as he looked in the bathroom mirror. Hours, possibly even days... that's how much time he'd had you on his mind while he was away. And for what? A crush on a girl who was probably too young for him? A cute bartender at the Navy hangout who definitely got asked out nightly? Shit. He was a lost cause.
And now he was going to be late if he didn't leave right away. He grabbed his keys, and headed out to his Bronco which he had missed dearly. So if nothing else, he'd get to cruise around later after the event. But on the ride to the bar, all he could imagine was how you'd look in the passenger seat, smiling at him at every stoplight and singing along to the radio.
"Fuck," he grunted as he parked next to Jake's truck before heading inside. He let his heart fill with hope as he strolled in to find Penny, Jake, Javy and Reuben behind the bar with two bartenders. But neither of them were you.
"Rooster!" Reuben cheered, and soon he was being clapped on the back and high fived by the guys he hadn't seen in months. It was nice, but he couldn't help but think that his smile would have been more genuine if you were here.
Jake smirked. "So glad you left your perch and joined us."
Bradley laughed as he gave Penny a hug. "Come on, man, I literally just got home."
Penny smiled up at him. "Thanks for filling in. It'll be great." Bradley really wanted to ask her about you, but then Penny patted him on the cheek before turning to reach under the bar top. "This will be a breeze for you guys," she said, handing matching shirts to the four of them. "Just a basic bar menu tonight. No super fancy cocktails. Just beer, wine, some pre-made sangria, and a few different kinds of shots."
Bradley started to unbutton his lucky shirt before pulling the new one on in its place. He smoothed his hand along the front of the blue shirt that said THE HARD DECK FIGHTS CANCER, and he noticed the two bartenders glancing at him. They were both cute but decidedly not what he had been hoping for tonight.
"Hey," he asked them with a nod. They smiled in response, so he decided to just go ahead and ask them about you.
"She quit a few weeks ago," the first one told him. "After she graduated from law school."
"She moved, too," said the second one. "Left San Diego."
Shit. He was too late after all, nodding in response to them as he pressed his lips together in a firm line. He'd never been any good at this kind of thing, which was why he always fell into casual relationships. What should he have done? Asked you out, gone on a handful of dates and then tried to persuade you to wait five months for him? Just for him to get deployed over and over again? That wouldn't have been fair to you.
But he didn't feel like it was fair to him either, because right now he was having a hard time even remembering exactly how pretty you were and the precise tone of your laughter. Probably for the best. At least he only needed to do this event for a few hours before he could leave and go for a long drive. He swallowed down his disappointment and turned toward the guys who were in the middle of conversation.
"How about a side wager?" Javy asked, tossing a bottle of vodka up into the air and catching it over and over again. "You know, for the charity?"
"What did you have in mind?" Bradley asked as Penny went to peek outside. "Because I doubt Penny will let us strip for charity again after last year. The two of you scuffed up the bar top," Bradley added, gesturing at Jake as well.
They both started laughing like idiots before Jake said, "Nah, let's give Penny a break this year and just tally up our tips at the end of the night. Whoever donates the least amount of tip money to the charity is the loser."
"Oh, that's a great idea," Javy said as he ate the orange slices and cherries that were meant to garnish the drinks. "What's the punishment for losing?"
Reuben smirked and said, "Loser has to report to the tarmac on Monday in his underwear. Instant push ups from Mav."
"Deal," Jake said.
"Absolutely," Javy agreed.
Three pairs of eyes settled on Bradley, and he slowly said, "Okay." If he strolled out of the locker room in just his underwear and boots on his first day back from a long deployment when he was supposed to sit down with the admirals and Maverick and have a debrief, he'd probably earn a greater punishment than just a few push ups. But it was for the charity, so he'd do it.
But he soon learned he'd made a mistake after Penny called out, "Let's get started," and propped the doors open. The first person through the door was Reuben's wife, followed by Javy's fiancee and Jake's girlfriend. And all of her sorority sisters.
"Shit," Bradley grunted. "Did you make me come here just so I would lose?"
Javy was handing out pint glasses that they could use as tip cups as he smirked, and Bradley was wondering if there was any way he could actually stuff his discreetly with cash from his own wallet.
"You'll be just fine," Jake drawled as the jukebox came blaring to life. But even the music was mocking him as Slow Ride started to play, and Bradley had people in front of him expecting him to make them drinks.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jake's girlfriend open her purse and start stuffing Jake's tip cup full. "I feel like that's considered cheating," Bradley told her, and she rolled her eyes and smirked before tucking five dollars into his cup as well.
"Don't tip Bradshaw, Sweets," Jake complained. "We made him come here as a buffer!"
"I knew it was a setup!" Bradley groaned as he listened to someone ask him for some wine and some beer. That was easy enough. He knew how to do that. Or at least he thought he did, but then one of the bartenders who had volunteered for the night told him he poured too much wine into the glass.
Then a woman asked him for a green tea shot, and he stared at her blankly. He leaned closer to Javy and asked, "What the hell is in a green tea shot?"
"I don't know," he replied as he poured two pints at the same time. "But you better figure it out, because your tip cup is still practically empty."
"Shit." He was scrambling to flag down the young bartenders again when he froze. He only caught a glimpse from the corner of his eye, but he knew it was you simply by the way you moved and the color of your hair. And then you sat down in the only empty stool left at the bar and smiled at him, your voice drawing his eyes up to your perfect face.
"Rooster. You're back."
The little thoughts and fantasies he'd indulged in while deployed had nothing on the real thing, and he knew he was blushing as you smiled and waited for him to respond. But it had been months since he'd been this close to you, and now he was really beating himself up for not trying to make you his sooner. Because if you were his, he could do all the things he wanted to do right now. Like kiss you.
"Rooster," you repeated with hesitation in your eyes, your voice softer, nearly drowned out by the jukebox.
"They said you quit," he blurted out as he leaned on the bartop, curious as to why you were here tonight. "And that you moved."
Your eyes went a little wider as you nodded, your smile still soft. "I did. You asked about me?"
"Can you make me a green tea shot or not?"
Bradley begrudgingly switched his focus to the woman next to you and sighed. He was about to tell her he didn't even know what that was, or that maybe she should fuck off so he could talk to you, but then you reached out and ran your fingers along the back of his hand.
Your touch was brief but intentional, and all of the irritation seemed to ease out of his body as his gaze snapped back to yours. "Yeah," you told the other woman as your finger grazed his knuckle one more time. "He can make you a green tea shot."
"I don't even know what's in it," he told you, with a helpless smile, trying to fight the urge to reach for your hand.
You kind of shrugged as you said, "I do. I'll talk you through it."
Bradley's smile grew which left you giggling as he said, "I'm kind of helpless back here. Nothing like you."
"Well, you can learn from the best," you told him, reaching out to squeeze his wrist before pointing to the many liquor bottles behind him. "Irish whiskey and peach schnapps," you told him, leaning on the bar now, so close that he just couldn't bring himself to turn away from you.
"Okay," he said, memorizing the exact color of your eyes. "Thanks for doing this."
You bit your lip and smiled up at him, and when Bradley moved just slightly closer, he thought he heard you whimper. Your eyes were full of emotion that reflected his own as you said, "Focus, Rooster. Irish whiskey and peach schnapps."
He nodded once and then finally moved away from you as he scanned the bottles and grabbed the two you told him. "Good," you said, pointing to the mini fridge and saying, "now get the sweet and sour mix. It's in a pink jug. Yeah, you got it. Now you need a half ounce of each."
Bradley listened to you explain how to use the shaker while he gave you another helpless look. "I'm just a simple beer or bourbon drinker," he said as he strained the drink that his customer had been waiting several minutes for into a shot glass.
You laughed and said, "I know you are, and it's kind of endearing that you don't know what you're doing. Now top it off with a splash of Sprite."
Bradley grabbed the soda gun, pressed the little green button and then looked up at you again. "This is endearing?" he asked, finally sliding the shot to the annoyed woman who unenthusiastically put a dollar in his tip cup and turned away.
"Very," you promised him. "And now I want you to make me a kamikaze shot."
He gave you a bland look, but his heart was pounding. "Are you joking right now?"
Bradley was hyper focused on your lips as you said, "Not at all. You can handle it. It's vodka, triple sec and lime juice. I prefer Finlandia. Impress me, and I'll leave you a nice big tip for the charity."
Then he groaned. He had forgotten about the wager and the other patrons looking for drinks and just all of it. He raked his fingers through his hair. "Thanks, but I'll probably still end up in my underwear at work on Monday morning."
When he pushed away from the bar again, your eyes dipped down to his jeans before snapping back up. "Underwear?"
"Yeah," he grunted as he reached for the type of vodka you liked best. You told him how much to use, and he dumped it in a shaker. "The guys coerced me into volunteering tonight. I literally just got home from deployment, but here I am... their scapegoat," he said, arms held out at his sides. "They threw out a side bet based on tip money, and next thing I know, all of their wives and girlfriends show up with a bunch of cash."
While he shook your kamikaze shot, he watched you turn first to your right and then to your left, eyeing up the overflowing tip cups in front of Reuben, Javy and Jake. Your lips parted, and you gaped at Bradley, but your eyes looked a little devious now. "You know, all of this makes a lot of sense since the guys made me come tonight."
Bradley carefully poured out your shot and asked, "What do you mean they made you come?" He realized his voice sounded annoyed, but how did they all have your phone number anyway? He'd been standing here thinking about asking you for it, but they were apparently already texting you.
You accepted the shot and took a small sip to taste it. "They kept messaging me earlier today, saying I absolutely needed to be here tonight. They said it was important I made it to the charity event." Then you tipped your head back, and Bradley was treated to the soft looking expanse of your neck as you swallowed down the rest of the shot he made. When you were done, you set the glass down and licked your lips as you dug some money out of your pocket. "That was delicious."
While you loaded his cup with all the cash in your pocket, Bradley tried to ask you where you lived now. If the guys were bugging you earlier today, you couldn't be that far. But before he could get a word out, you pushed yourself up so you were kneeling on the bar right in front of him, and he looked up at you as you grinned down at him.
"Don't worry, Rooster," you said as you ran your fingers through his hair. "I got you." Then Bradley was reaching for your hips. He didn't fucking care if the place was packed, he was ready to haul you off to the back hallway and ask you if he could kiss your pretty lips. You beamed at him as his hands met your body, but you just cupped your fingers around your mouth and shouted over the music, "Come get your drinks from Rooster! He knows how to make everything! But kamikazes are his specialty! And he's hot!"
His eyes went wide as you slipped out of his grasp and back onto your stool while an influx of mostly women queued up in front of him. "What did you do?" he asked, trying to mentally process an order for a cosmopolitan while stumbling over you calling him hot.
"I'm helping you not embarrass yourself at work. Keep the vodka out. Grab the Cointreau and a martini glass. We're about to show the guys what's up."
Bradley struggled through drink after drink as quickly as he could, but you never gave up on him. Occasionally you'd slide things out of his way or point out where he could find something he needed, and at some point you grabbed a second pint glass for his overflowing tip money. And all the while, he stole as many glances at you as he could while he worked.
When Penny eventually walked behind him, patted him on the shoulder and said there was less than an hour left of the event, she also shared a smile with you. But there was no hope. The other guys were already working on their third tip cups each. "I don't think I can make up the deficit," he groaned, pulling up the hem of his shirt and wiping his brow with it.
"Oh, that's a great idea," you mused, leaning across the bar and pulling his shirt up higher. "Take it off."
He stared at you as you tugged on the fabric. "Take it off?"
You nodded, the moevent exaggerated as you said, "Absolutely. Take your shirt off." As he looked around awkwardly before pulling his shirt over his head, you cupped your hands around your mouth once again and said, "He has six pack abs!"
Now the guys were glaring at him. "So do I!" Reuben complained.
"Don't you dare take your shirt off!" his wife told him, pointing at him in warning.
Bradley knew his cheeks were flushed, and all he really wanted to do was talk to you and hopefully kiss you. And he really wanted to do all of that with his shirt on, because he felt a bit like a stripper now as you reached for a third tip cup. The cash was filling it up quickly, and he smirked as he thought about Reuben, Jake or Javy in their underwear instead of him. And it was all for a charity after all.
"Make him use the shaker!" you urged a woman who looked like she was in her seventies and holding a crisp fifty dollar bill. "Make him flex."
Bradley groaned your name which sent you into a fit of laughter, your second empty shot glass still in front of you. "This isn't right," he complained half heartedly as he shook the older woman's Mai Tai with flexed abs and biceps.
"It is so right," you told him, and he appreciated that you were scoping out the other guys' tip cups instead of looking at him right now. "Keep going. It's going to be so close." And then that fifty ended up in Bradley's cup when he handed over the cocktail, and you said, "Or maybe not!"
"Last call for the fundraiser!" Penny shouted over the crowd, and Bradley almost sighed in relief when the last few people ordered beers and a glass of wine. And then it was all over, and he had a huge amount of cash in front of him along with you. But he didn't care about the tips as much as he did getting to finally talk to you. The fundraiser was technically over, and you were looking at him the same way he was looking at you.
When he took a breath to suggest you and he go for a walk, he felt a hand on his bare back. It was one of the young bartenders who was helping out, and she said, "I can count up your tips for you," with a smile.
"Nope," you said, reaching for his cups yourself and shooting her a glare. "I'll do his. You go help Coyote." You didn't move again until her hand slipped off of his back and she walked away, and then you looked at Bradley and asked, "What are you going to do for me if you win?"
He watched as you quickly sorted the bills into efficient piles as he pulled his shirt back on and leaned against the bar. It had quieted down significantly, and now Penny was taking a few drink orders while everyone else seemed to move to the tables. He felt like he had a moment of privacy with you as he said, "I guess that depends. Apparently you moved away, Sweetheart."
"I did," you confirmed with a smirk as you counted up his twenties.
"But you came back tonight."
You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you moved to the pile of tens. "I'm not too far away. I took a full time job and moved to Del Mar. The guys told me I needed to be here tonight for a special surprise. They said something I had been missing was returning. So I came down."
Bradley's fingers flexed on the edge of the bartop. "They did?"
You looked a little vulnerable as you stacked the bills in one pile and said, "Eight hundred and seventy one dollars."
He nodded once and pushed the money aside without really looking at it. "You'd been missing something, Sweetheart?" he pressed gently, heart pounding in his chest.
You bit your lip as your eyes drifted closed when he rubbed his thumb across your cheek. "I guess I must have asked the guys one time too many if they knew when you'd be back from your deployment."
"Oh," he rasped as you looked at him again. "You missed me?"
"Yes," you whispered. "I was going to ask you out, but then you were just gone. And they told me you were deployed, and I thought I really missed my chance. And I didn't even know if you were single or not, so I-"
Bradley had heard enough, so he kissed you. Just a soft press of his lips to yours, but you practically crawled onto the bar to get closer to him. And it was better than he spent the last five months imagining it might be. He could taste the vodka and lime on your tongue as it met his. Your fingers gently combed through his hair again, and he moaned, "I missed you too, Sweetheart."
Your laughter was soft and sweet as your nose brushed against his, and then he jerked back a few inches as Reuben shouted. "Yo, Rooster! There's time for that later, man! How much tip money did you make?"
"Eight hundred and seventy one," you replied as your fingers trailed down his scarred cheek to rub his mustache before you pecked him on the lips. The three guys groaned in unison, and Bradley watched your face light up in a beautiful smile.
"This is not why we told you that you had to come tonight!" Jake whined, pointing at you and pouting. "You were supposed to distract him, not help him win! He was just supposed to turn into a bumbling mess and admit he has feelings for you!"
You turned away from Jake, and you asked Bradley, "So, do you have feelings for me?"
He huffed out a laugh before he hopped up to sit on the bar, swung his long legs over to the other side and hopped down again. You jumped from your stool and into his arms when he said, "I thought about you the whole time I was away, Sweetheart. I wanted to ask you out in the summer, but I didn't think it was right to hope you'd wait almost half a year for me to be stateside. For us to be together again."
"Bradley," you moaned. His hands found your hips just like earlier, and this time he pulled you snug against him while your fingers teased through his hair. "If a guy is worth waiting for, then I'd wait forever."
He kissed you again, tasting and nipping the lips that he'd dreamed about. Inhaling all of your sweetness that his mind didn't do justice to when he'd been away. Feeling your smile against his lips for the first time.
"Let me ask you again," you said, pausing between kisses. "Since I clearly helped you win the bet, what are you going to do for me?"
"Anything you want," he said immediately as you started to push him toward the door with a grin.
"How about we go for a long drive? And we can talk about how the next time you're deployed, your girlfriend will be waiting patiently for you to return?"
Bradley scooped you up, sending you into a fit of laughter as he carried you directly to his Bronco.
------------------------
Bradley was exhausted on Monday to the point where the travel mug of coffee you sent him with did nothing to keep him from yawning out on the tarmac at 8:00. But every yawn ended with him smiling as he thought about how perfect the weekend had been. In the very early hours of Sunday morning, you'd agreed to be his girlfriend. And now he was waiting for the cherry on top of it all.
He didn't have to wait long as he stood between Reuben and Javy, the three of them looking nearly identical in their matching flight suits and boots, standing at attention in front of Maverick. Then Jake came strolling out, and Bradley instantly started laughing.
Maverick turned, took one look at Hangman in his boxer shorts and combat boots and said, "I don't even want to know what's going on here, I just want five hundred push ups."
Jake's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his face as everyone else tried their best to hold in their laughter. Bradley took his phone out as discreetly as he could and snapped a picture of Jake panicking on the tarmac before he dropped down onto the ground and started on his punishment.
"Everyone else to your jets," Mav barked, and Bradley didn't stick around to hear him say it again. Instead he texted you the photo of Jake along with a short message.
Couldn't have pulled it off without your help, Sweetheart.
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The way I would die of this man just casually started calling me his Sweetheart. I love that he swept the guys to win the bet! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#rooster x you#rooster x reader#rooster imagine#rooster fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#top gun imagine#top gun maverick imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#roosterforme#stateside#pick your poison challenge
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joel and iskall go through a breakupo (???) and iskall begins his yandere ex gf arc around 4 hours and thirty something minutes in.
This week on hermitcraft: the anime: the harem isekai protaganist joel is being lusted after by at least five different people
I really can’t overstate how weird this is, and how thirty four minutes long it is. I wanted to cut it down but there's never thirty seconds w/out Joel (or Jimmy) talk. I guess I’ll put some clips on youtube? I haven’t even finished all my weird flirty mcc clips (including iskall/jimmy)
Real quotes:
Joel: "Secret relationship???"
Iskall: "Do you not love me?"
Joel: "Not like that, we're just friends."
Iskall: "I just got friendzoned?"
Joel: "Deal with it."
Iskall's Crazy Ex Arc Twitch link , 04:26:00
(he also does youtube vods so hopefully it will wind up there)
Timestamps:
04:25:47 - Joel logs on and heads to Iskall Iskall claims it’s all cool ha ha it’s a prank he’s fine
04:31:15 - Joel is gone, threatens restraining order over chat
04:34:55 - Iskall declares his Jimmy arc
04:37 - Iskall is trying to frame Etho
04:39 - Iskall starts writing crazed letters and sending them
04:44 - Joel is back
04:47 - Etho reference
04:54 - Joel leaves for good
04:55 - Iskall brainstorms ways to be very weird about Joel
04:58 - Iskall worried people won’t get the joke is he gets too weird about Joel
(some of the screenshots or my summary may have gotten a bit out of order)
Summary: Joel is back from Japan and has seen all the mail from Iskall. He logs on, Iskall starts flirting. Iskall tells his chat that ha ha it's all funny Joel doesn't realize it's all funny.
Iskall explains why he thought he and Joel were in a "secret relationship" because of a prank and note Joel left him. Joel says it was not him. (His chat says it was False.) Joel seems utterly baffled and friendzones him. Iskall is also baffled.
Iskall: "Do you not love me?"
Joel: "Not like that, we're just friends."
Iskall: "I just got friendzoned?"
Iskall gets weird in chat, with Gem shouting and begging to get banned, Iskall sends Joel... crazy ex letters, I guess? I'm not screenshoting those, too many images, probably in his next ep.
Iskall declares he's moving on to his Jimmy arc, with his beautiful hair and eyes.
(Note: Iskall and Jimmy spent a bunch of time together for the Hermit Charity Stream. Maybe Iskall saw him with others and said, "Oh I can get much more homoerotic with hermits, huh." I'm new to Iskall but my friends say his obsession was never quite so... romantic framed.)
The previous day, on MCC, Iskall's first in three years:
Iskall somehow thinks he can pin anything here on Etho.
Iskall then tries to hire Joel to do armor stands and to sell him an apartment. Throughout all this, Etho is brought up several times.
I recommend keeping Iskall's chat up, it's not overwhelming and pretty fun. I've got some more chat quotes below the cut
#hermitcraft#smallishbeans#joel smallishbeans#hermitcraft season 10#hermit joel#hermitcraft s10#hermitblr#iskall85#swedishbeans#geminitay
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"Well hello there Secret Keeper!" Scar says, chipper. "It's a bea-ut-i-ful day today here on the Secret Life server, and I'm here for my daily hearts for winning! I have to say, it is gorgeous today. Really a lot easier to keep the rain away without other players, what with sleeping through the night not being a problem at all! Did you know, by the way, that sleeping and rain are connected? I didn't until recently, but by golly, they sure are! Can you imagine? The world is full of so many strange things."
The Secret Keeper, being a big dumb stone statue, doesn't reply. Scar's beginning to think it's just rude. It sure replies whenever he hits the button, which is the first step in his morning routine these days. He's gotten better at dodging damage, really, even with the nearly infinite hearts! He's just not so good at dodging skeletons and creepers and such that he shouldn't top off every day.
He hits the button. He feels his health return to him. He gets a new task: Win Secret Life.
He snorts, a little bitter, to himself as he reads it and folds it into his pocket. "You know, I don't know if I'm lucky or unlucky that you're such a moron that you don't know what winning means. Your machine is broken."
No response, again, because the Secret Keeper is, as established, a big old dumb rock. Well, whatever. Besides, if he lingers on resentment and upset for too long, it might catch up with him! He's certainly let it catch up with him before. Why, a few days after he'd won, when he really had it sink in that he was for-real alone on a server covered in lightning burn marks and blood, he had a bit of a breakdown! There was sobbing, screaming, yelling at the world, the whole works! And when no one responded then, well--
"Did I just call you a moron? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!" Scar says. "You know how I get sometimes. The world is beautiful and warm, but sometimes it gets a little hard to breathe around here! Now, where were we... oh, right! The trading post terraforming project! Now, we hit a bit of a snag the other day, what with the wandering traders I'd caught all sort of--dying--and all that, but luckily, more of them might show up any moment, and they really are vital to making the place feel alive and breathing. So today we're taking a break from that to build up some trees!"
He waves his arms like someone is listening. He'd like to imagine someone is. Grian told him he won--just because all the ghosts are quiet now doesn't mean they aren't there! And if that was a moment of temporary insanity, well, he probably--he needs to think it's not, is the thing! He absolutely needs to think it's not.
He hums and gathers more logs. His makeshift tree farms are pretty nice, if he does say so himself. He pauses as he hears distant howling and sighs. "I guess we will also be spending today cleaning up the wolf population! I swear, I have no idea what those people were thinking making a wolf spawner. A man takes a nap for a day and then the entire server is overrun with stupid white animals! And you know, I do hate having to cull the things, but, well, you know me. I've learned how to kill pretty well, I think, and really, dogs are easier to kill than people."
He grabs a sword from his chest and sharpens it. He keeps it perfectly clean so that there isn't too much blood on it. Good thing, too; most of the blood would probably be his. He's a bit clumsy, after all. He cuts his fingers on it all the time. No matter how well he bandages up his hands, he just keeps making them bleed, drip, drip, dripping blood on every path he walks down. No matter how hard he works to clean up his massive building projects, the little splatters of blood follow him, so he's sticking to dark colors where he can.
The flowers will probably show the blood, he thinks. The flowers and trees he's building. Hopefully, the blood doesn't stand out too much. It feels wrong, in a world where there are no bodies.
He stands up. He heads in the direction of today's pack of unwanted pests. He sighs. "You know, I know your question is, well gosh, Scar! All the previous winners died. When are you going to finish it off and kill yourself? And wow, that's a pretty dark question. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking, really." He laughs. It's not funny. Who cares.
Instead, he shakes his head.
"And, well, you have to understand. I'm not done building yet! I can make my base so much nicer looking! And besides, you're still handing me hearts. If I get hurt, I can just come back and get more from you! If you want to die, you have to kill me yourself. You fucking cowards!"
No response.
He sighs. "Well, that's enough of that for today. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of morose. It's all this sunshine! Can't be good for a man. Did you know populated servers rain more often than unpopulated ones? It's true! It's because people don't sleep enough. But here I am, getting all the sleep I need. Now, time to go kill some dogs and build some trees! I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon, can you?"
His hands hurt. He ignores it. He ignores a lot of hurt, these days. It's not like it's hard.
#secret life smp#goodtimeswithscar#a bee fic#implied/referenced suicide#implied/referenced self harm#SO UH. HOW ABOUT THAT SCAR NOT DYING IN THE END NONSENSE HUH.#trying to write this all very much in scar's voice was fun. dark premise. goofy guy. result: this.#also i DO love occasionally giving a character who otherwise wouldn't exactly ONE precision swear-word. very fun.
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