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ahiijny · 1 year

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glass onion spoilers

ok this movie was fun, but it fell a bit short of expectations 😅 y'all hyped this up a bit too much (note: i did not watch the other knives out movie yet so maybe im missing out on some context)

I thought this was going to be this awesome keikaku murder mystery with this likeable queer and fruity detective guy where everyone rips down the curtain of lies set up by this tech billionaire and it is revealed mr. miles rich guy actually has no idea what he's doing and all of his accomplishments were stolen from other people

I guess we kinda get that in a sense, but I guess reality just outdid fiction this time if you know what I mean... so it wasnt nearly as satisfying

I guess that's kind of the point of this movie, as benoit himself points out: it looks complicated, but it's actually not. (and thats why he had so much trouble solving the mystery, bc hes not good at solving dumb puzzles, only clever ones lol) but that still doesnt make it satisfying.

anyway, my thoughts about the movie!

the masking and covid callbacks remember those ah memoriesssss (man)

ok but if this entire movie were about this scientist guy trying to do science engineering work while pushing back against unrealistic expectations from overzealous entrepreneurs/business ppl i would watch that...

i liked the part where the lady was like "you've got to stay off the twitter" to the other lady, this is relatable and realistic and a good message

puzzles are fun. i liked the peoples working together to solve the puzzles. if this entire movie were about a diverse group of friends solving puzzles in a collaborative way i would watch that...

shoutout to manosphere guy's mom she dont give af but she's hella clever, she's solving these puzzles and she doesn't even care lol

(also dude be more respectful to your mom. doesnt matter if ur streaming, ppl will understand if u have to take a brief interruption to answer to something. if they dont understand, u do not want them watching ur stream)

benoit amogus (this is probably pandering but i am the target audience so i will accept the pandering. if this entire movie were just benoit and his friends/colleagues playing among us i would watch that...)

the way the ppl all have their different attitudes towards masking strictness and runs the full gamut, that's just really interesting to analyze. i saw the tumblr post about this and i thought benoit was actually going to narrate these observations and it wouldve been really impressive 😅 I guess it's actually more subtle than that...

ok but what IS that spray. how does it work. i know u dont have to explain EVERYTHING in a story but the nerd in me wants to know pls pls pls (does it even work lol)

"piece of shit" hehehehe

benoit very charming and there was some awkward tension in the air bc everyone else is tightly knit and he's a newcomer but he talks through it easily enough so my feelings of social anxiety werent too bad in these scenes lol

everyone talking and socializing (ergh) and dropping various bits of information and im like 'i dont even remember their NAMES im definitely not gonna remember all these little factoids which are sure to be relevant later lol' (help)

the part where benoit is sneaking around and spying on ppl, i feel like maybe they could have leaned even more into the comedy here if they wanted to. like. they have manosphere guy spying on miles rich guy and other lady doing the sussy and he clenches his fists in anger but later it's revealed actualyl she is trying to persuade miles rich guy to put manosphere guy on his news thingy or something but miels was refusing so actually manosphere guy was clenching his fist in anger because of that and benoit was behind the bushes watching the whole thing but also helen was behind both of them watching the whole thing as well

i know it probably makes cinematic sense for them to do this, but i wish helen and benoit had been a bit quieter/vague about their discussions bc i was in constant fear that they would be overheard and someone would be like "hey why is your accent different" bc as the previous scenes have shown, eavesdropping people and recording devices are EVERYWHERE (god)

and as modern technology and even death note potato chips scene have taught me. why would you ever NOT assume that your rooms are not bugged. like. recording devices are cheap and tiny. and you're in a rich guy's mansion that he had built for himself and he has a huge ego and doesnt care about other peoples agency. I would be paranoid that there would be hidden cameras and microphones everywhere (dsfosdfjsoijfds)

the part where benoit explained away the entire mystery that miles had someone else write up for him was fun, if the entire movie were just ppl chucking mystery puzzles at the guy and him just explaining everything i would watch that...

tho eq-wise this was a bit like if you're the best tetris player in the world and you enter the lobby of some very casual player and their friends and no one is playing faster than 0.5pps and then you demolish everyone at 5pps with ms2 dpc loop and then the streamer is like "well I guess this isnt our stream anymore it's theirs" that's a bit bm... (we actually kinda do have this problem in the tetrio community and someone even made a video about it)

social anxiety DID HE JUST COMMIT A FAUX-PAS BY BEING TOO OP i do appreciate that he commented on doing it intentionally afterwards (ok so he's aware) bc he was concerned someone would try to actually kill miles

when the pretty dress lady was spinning around and was like "look at me!" i was like 'ok this is obviously a distraction and somehting sneaky is going to happen' but it was too flashy and distracting so i didnt notice anything lol ^_^;;

my first thought was that someone tried to poison miles and poisoned manosphere guy by accident, so when ppl went to their initial conclusions i was like ok that makes sense

okokokookok the flashback

initially i was sus of helen's story. i thought she was andi, but pretending to be a nonexistant twin sister for some reason. her story seemed a bit too clean. like. maybe she fabricated this murder mystery to pique the interest of the best detective in the world to help her with her task, since maybe he wouldn't be interested otherwise. and then benoit would poke some holes in her story and then she would reveal that actually the story was a fabrication but she was desperate and benoit would have some sympathy and would help her out regardless

the movie went on for a while before i was like. 'oh ok, the other shoe isn't dropping... she really is who she says she is??'

(you have to understand my experience in these kind of genres involve ppl like L and Naomi Misora and Junko Enoshima and Celeste Ludenberg its RARE for characters to actually just have been telling the truth the entire time so you have to understand why i was doubtful >_<;;)

i was expecting one of the others to have reset the box and sent it to benoit and then he solved the puzzles and went to the island but no the box benoit received was the one helen smashed to bits lmaoooooo. benoit is so smooth i completely fell for that.

i like all the parts where benoit was like "elementary child puzzles" or something and it made miles look kinda annoyed hehe

ok the false memory thing DOES happen, it's true! when he said it, everyone remembered differently. memory is notoriously unreliable. this is true

ok i know barely anything about business or law but i feel like theres so much more andi couldve done to protect her ownership of the company. like. documentation/photographs of the napkin? patents? on the other hand, as recent events have shown, it is also notoriously easy for a charming guy with money to completely sway public opinion with a strong enough propaganda machine so i guess fair enough...

also i feel like that conversation kinda escalated a bit too quickly. "hey i have new idea KLEAN will energy the world poggers" "no it too dangerous it will blow up the world" "no c'mon" "i will BISECT THIS COMPANY"

like. hindsight is 2020 but. give toddler something to play with rather than taking it away altogether. right?...

also i feel like my watching of medical jdramas has skewed my view of what is realistic, but. i feel like everyone gave up a bit TOO easily after manosphere guy stopped breathing. no one even attempted CPR? does no one have like. epipens or something (idk how pineapple allergies work)

also that little hint at the beginning slipped by me. i thought he just didnt like the taste of pineapples lol (relatable), didnt know that he was actually allergic

the dietary restrictions thing in the invite was actually kinda considerate of miles rich guy tho. i mean, u know, aside from the fact that he exploited this very thing to murder his dear friend

also do the police not have. helicopters

whys it gotta be boats

continued bc apparently 4096 character limit per text block

maybe they shouldve added like a thunderstorm or something. or a cut to the police station where they're like "it's that guy again (ugh), let's deal with this in the morning..."

i am happy helen survived tho. guns scary... especially when they are pointed at you lol

NOT THE HOT SAUCE IN THE NOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this legit was one of the most stressful scenes in the movie lol

i get so stressed anytime there's clearly an actor playing a dead body in a movie bc then im imagining the actor having to lie still without moving or breathing at all and that just makes me anxious lol

ok but why did andi even NEED this dude, she shouldve just made alpha or whatever on her own. unless it's maybe just the. stereotypical white, charismatic figurehead to appease the investors maybe. idk

benoit getting mad at miles rich guy for stealing his murder mystery ideas is the funniest thing

but also i know this is a movie but girl why would you bring out the napkin. just hide it, get off the island, and show it! or at least make a few decoys! take pictuers at least?? whyd u let yourself get outwitted by miles rich guy this is so sad

the smashing glass thing is cathartic but i was also cringing bc all that flying sharp glass in the air and floor does NOT look safe. and also who's gonna clean it up afterwards you're making more work for the poor staff of this resort place :c

also. do u have a death wish. why would you throw that in there when you are THERE in the room. headlines: MILES BRON AND OTHERS DIE IN EXPLOSION ON PRIVATE ISLAND RESORT (ONLY SURVIVORS ARE WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE AND SOME GUY) idk

while the mona lisa burning is funny and LONG expected since the protection barrier thing was introduced and IS probably not the real one since something about wood panel vs. canvas. i just. do not like destroying art man. tho i probably dont care as much bc it is something coveted by rich people. but still.

also imo this isn't the slam dunk they think it is bc if miles rich guy WERE smart, there's a billion ways he could spin this to his favour

it's pretty much his word against theirs but if he uses his money wisely he can easily drum up propaganda support for this, even if his former friends turned against him

e.g. "ex-Alpha founder who never contributed anything and was actually a leech (true story) throw a tantrum on island resort and used bottle rockets/dynamite/whatever other flammable things there are that DEFINITELY arent Klean to destroy PRICELESS work of art'

wait he killed andi, that wont work

'twin sister of ex-Alpha founder who in an irrational, bereaved fit of rage, destroys PRICELESS work of at'

there we go (miles huffs proudly as if he thought of this idea himself and definitely not as if one of the propaganda firms he hired thought it up for him)

ok but who is that other guy. what is his story. why is he on the island

also, helen girlboss destroying his stuff is satisfying but imo not nearly as satisfying as miles rich guy just destroying his OWN stuff just from sheer incompetence

right now he can escape into the mental copespace of "that woman destroyed my (yes definitely my) lifes work, i will have my revenge". i am worried, bc as recent events have shown, it IS possible, even if you are confirmed guilty, to just skedaddle on out of prison, because of technicalities or whatever

and he will probably still have his diehard fans on his side

the future worries me

sdifgos jsgiojf gdoisdgjdiogj

so in the end, i guess. not really satisfying in the sense of a keikaku whodunnit, and I didnt really vibe with many of the characters either, except for benoit, and manosphere guy's mom, and benoit's... husband? (idk who he is but he seems chill), and helen is neat too but i feel like her characterization was a bit too infodump/exposition heavy

i guess if i look at it more in the lens of a social commentary comedy rather than a murder mystery itd be more up to expectations. but still. not really my cup of tea i guess

7.4/10

#glass onion #ahi's ramblings #my subjective opinion #unhinged 4am thoughts

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rawliverandgoronspice · 8 months

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The Dondon Post (or: the bizarre TotK's side content counterpoints to its main quest's immuable binary morality)

Speaking of strange TotK Choices, I think I have one singe post left in me about this game; and it's about the Dondon quest, "The Beast and the Princess".

(and about other stuff too, you'll see, we'll get to them)

More specifically: about how... strange of a thematic point it feebly attemps to make in the larger context of the storyline, and how it seems to be yet another mark of a world that, perhaps, once tried to be more morally complex that it ended up becoming.

Buckle up: it's a long one, and it gets pretty conceptual.

(good gem boys notwhistanding)

The Princess and the Beast

So, a couple of things about the setup. We are investigating potential Princess sightings; but at this point, either because we have already completed a bunch and know the general gib, because we have met a couple of wild Fake Zelda shenanigans, or through the simple fact that we are completing a side quest, we know there's a good chance it won't lead to an actual Zelda information. So when we ask Penn about what is going on and he replies with the ominous "we saw the Princess riding some kind of beast --a frightening one with huge, brutal tusks-- that the princess seemed to control", we get Ideas. Then the sidequest is registered: "The Princess and the Beast".

So. You know me. And if you don't know me, here's what you should know: my brain immediately flared up with the thought there was no way in hell this wasn't some kind of wink towards Ganondorf's renowned boarish beast form, especially given tusks were given so much focus.

My first assumption was: that's a miniboss right? I will get to fight some small boar-like thing that Fake Zelda rides sometimes. Cool! I didn't hold too hard onto my hope that the relationship of Zelda and/or Ganondorf to the natural world, or to each other would be expanded upon, since I had already been burned before, but my interest was piqued.

You have to understand how starved I was for any hint of complexity or mystery or ambiguity at this point. I was extremely eager for the game to throw anything at me that would surprise me, enlighten something pre-established, make the exploration lead to a meaningful discovery or deepening of characters, world or themes (and not just slightly cooler loot, or a bossfight, or a puzzle devoid of emotional context --cohesion and depth is what motivates my play sessions, especially in an open world game that I want to believe is worth losing oneself into). This was about the most intriguing task on my to do list at the moment, and so I plunged in immediately.

After really REALLY misunderstanding what I was supposed to do (I stalked every corner of every forest surrounding the tropical area at night or during blood moons in hope to see something --which was very much the wrong call), I arrived to the other stable, then was guided to the other side of the river where Cima awaits and explains that these creatures are actually a new species discovered by Zelda; that they are gentle and kind and not at all scary ("Dondons aren't beastly, they're adorable!"), and even somehow digest luminous stones into gemstones. They like the company of people and liked Zelda in particular.

I was... I felt two different ways about this conclusion, and I think it's worth to explore both: disappointment and some sort of... "huh!" Hard to describe this emotion otherwise.

I'll get the disappointment out of the way first, because it's the least interesting of the two. While I think the little emotional arc I was taken on was not devoid of interest --I was indeed taken on by the rumor and intrigued by its implications-- I wanted, well. A little bit more. And if the creatures were to be Zelda's pet project, I would have loved for them to be actually terrifying and feisty, and for her to develop an interest for these creatures in particular regardless. It could have been very interesting characterization that veered out of the perfect princess loving the perfect world floundering around her, always bringing her clear, practical benefits from the interaction.

(I have made another post that speaks of my discomfort that Zelda does everything everywhere and everyone loves her for it --I get what they were trying to go for, but it either lacks conflict for me to buy into that dynamic at the scale of several regions, or they went on too hard for my taste, as she is, at once and in the span of a couple of years at most: a schoolteacher, a gardener, an animal researcher, a scholar, a traveler, a military expert, a knower of landscape, a painter, a horse rider, an infrastructure planner, a [...] princess --at some point it begins to sound made up, "Little Father of the people"-esque to rattle the hornet's nest a little bit, especially if it's not shown as either a clearly godly characteristic or, even more necessary imo, a negative trait; another expression of her killing herself at work to compensate for a perceived flaw she's trying to earn forgiveness for, like she did in BotW. But that's another topic, and the clumsiness of her character arc has been well threaded by basically everybody disappointed in the story already.)

But, if I decide to be a little graceful, I'd like to explore my "huh!" emotion, and take it apart a little bit.

I think there's something interesting to have such strong parallels to setting up a story about the relationship between Zelda and Ganondorf ("The Princess and the Beast", like come on guys that's the conflict of over half the series), or at least Zelda and the concept of Evil since Ganondorf pretty much represents it in this game, and then have it go: actually, there was a horrible monster that everyone was afraid of, but Zelda was wise and patient enough to approach it and realize its potential beyond the tusks, what beauty can be brought upon the world if one makes the effort to look for what exists underneath. It says something a bit deeper about the world and about Zelda in particular. It intrigues, at the very least.

Is it a reach? Probably! Is my first interpretation that the quest is actually about "eww you thought Zelda would be interested in *disgusting vile monsters* and not sweet and gentle and human-loving animals that literally shit jewlery when cared for? jokes on you, she never would feel any ounce of sympathy for anything that isn't Good and Deserving" uhhh definitively truer? Probably! But I also don't want to dismiss that the quest made me think about it. If I had completed it earlier, I might have even felt like it was (very clumsy, not gonna lie) setup about the main conflict.

But that's also a good segway into my next section: the arbitrary limitations between the animal and the creature, the monstrous and the human.

And the fact that TotK points directly at it.

A Monstrous Collection

(these two guys are just. doing So Much and being So Valid despite being massive weirdos the game wants us to be slightly repelled by. I, for one, respect the Monster kinning grind and their general Twilight Princess energy.)

So. These two guys. There is so much to say about these two guys. I don't think I have seen the Trans Perspective on Kolton on tumblr, and I would love to get it because. I feel like it's a worthwhile discussion (just, how gender and identity is handled in TotK overall, I feel like it's a very complicated conversation and I have not seen super deep dives and I'd be very interested in hearing more).

Beyond the throughline of voluntary consumption of magical objects to turn into less human creatures being a weirdly prevalent plot point in TotK (Zelda, Kolton and Ganondorf casually transing their entire species for funsies --Ganondorf being particularly relentless with Fake Zelda, mummy/phantom shenanigans, Demon King and then literal dragon), I want to focus on Kilton a little bit.

Kilton is genuinely the only NPC in the game willing to acknowledge the inherent personhood that monsters have (the game does showcase them picking up fruits, mourning their boss if you kill them, being cutesy and happy to identify you as one of their own if you wear the appropriate mask --and that's not even getting into creatures like the Lynels, who seem to really edge on the limit of being a conscious creature with a system of honor and property and many other things). He does encourage us to think of monsters as more than a species whose only worth lie in how fun it is to eradicate them; even more, gameplay-wise, he does give us a reason to interact with them in other ways than just our sword with his museum. He does encourage us to see that beauty for ourselves and then select what we think is coolest/most intimidating/cutest/eight billion ganondorfs in every pose imaginable

The fact that Ganondorf is considered a monster was a great win for this feature in particular, and is very funny, but it's also... A lot, if we dig at it a little more than warranted. Beyond all of the Implications and all of the things of representation and political conflict and values already discussed ad nauseum: when did he stop being considered a human? What does that mean about the flimsiness of what is a monster and what is a creature and what is an animal and what is a person and what is even a hylian, as sheikahs got absorbed into the definition in this game? Especially with the stones taken into account, how profound changes in nature are a huge part of the plot (even when reversed and ultimately pretty meaningless): how easy it is, to make that slip? Who decides when that slip has been made? What is acceptable to hurt without remorse? What is beautiful and worth preserving? What is both at once? What is neither?

And again, in a classic Zelda conundrum (appreciative(?)): who the fuck gets to decide that, when, and why?

The Bargainers and the Horned God

(major shoutout to these big guys for being the sole and only providers of actual depth to the Depths, and for looking cool as heck)

So. Let's move the conversation to the Depths.

Conceptually: what an interesting idea!! And so well executed (initially)!! A mirror world to the surface, dark and hushed and full of unknown creatures; haunted by gloom and sickness and the unknown. Not a first in the series, far from it: from ALTTP to ALBW, and even taking the Twilight world of TP into account, this idea of a Dark World acting as a deforming mirror to Hyrule and revealing many interesting aspects as we get to explore both is always a very interesting take on corruption and envy and fear/weakness and/or some sense of darkness looming under the perfect exterior. I'd argue even the Lens of Truth of both OoT and MM's serve a similar function, both gameplay-wise, but also in terms of theme: not everything is as it seems. In the world of Light, darkness must hide itself; but darkness also possess its own beauty, its own hardships, and will stare back at you without blinking if you go seek for it. It's, in my opinion, one of the series' most compelling conversation about the cyclical nature of fate, the coldness of godhood, and how small one feels in the face of a universe that is more complicated than it initially appears --which is why Courage must be invoked to push forward regardless.

The Depth's otherworldly ambiance is truy wonderful, whether in the plays of light and shadows, the creatures native to the environment we meet there (wish we met more!), the soundtrack, the strange aquatic/primordial plants, the fact that the dragons visit this place and connect them to the outside --invoking ideas of balance and interconnectivity, that the tree branches look like veins. The coliseums, the mines, the zonai facilities and the prisons do seem to poke at many things about what the relationship to the past was to this place; was it ever truly a place? Did it look like this back then? Why was it buried? Why did it come back? But in spite of it all, I think the Depths struggle overall to question or reveal anything about the surface that we couldn't already assume going in (that the only thing congealing there is Ganondorf's gloom, his lonely domain of Wrongness, only shared by Kohga and the yiga --the only naysayers of Goodness and Light, contemptful and blinded by self-importance and rage). The zonite is mined by gloomy monsters --why, what for?-- so any notion of greed and over-expansion that could have been associated to the zonai is now reabsorbed into Ganondorf's general evilness, since it needs to be reminded he is everything and anything bad with the world: darkness and conquest and greed and capitalism and pollution and bad weather and sickness and darkness and violence and war and death and betrayal and fakeness and lies and patriarchy and exploitation. No matter that he never does a single thing with zonite in the game; rather set up elements of conflict that never go anywhere than, for a second, let the foundations of absolute goodness and absolute evil risk becoming shaky --and you coming to this unwelcoming dark place that hates you, killing the miners and taking their resources for yourself is, on the other holy, royal fur-covered hand, utterly legitimate. The resources were once Rauru's after all, were they not?

And this is what I would say, except... except for the dead. The fallen warriors, the poes, and, most important of all: the Bargainer statues.

The Bargainers are, in-universe, godly creatures guiding the fallen to a place of final respite, regardless of moral alignment. The poes are all, fundamentally, cleansed of judgement: they are lost souls whose past reality does not matter anymore, and all deserve that peace regardless. In spite of the heavy paradise/hell parallels drawn in that game, with Rauru/Zelda/Sonia as the guardians of Light where Ganondorf gets to become a Devil-like figure, it is confirmed here that no such thing exists when you actually die in this universe.

It almost feels as if the fabric of Hyrule itself, in a brief moment that refuses to elaborate on its own point, goes: "yeah, whatever is happening here between Light and Darkness, it doesn't actually matter. This conflict is futile and doesn't understand the real nature of being alive, dead, a god, a person, a monster, an animal. The truth lies elsewhere --but you will never be told what it is."

It's: wild.

One of the game's most striking traits of narrative brilliance in my opinion --to the point where I'm wondering whether it's there on purpose or was effectively an oversight since every other aspect of reality breaks its own back trying to reassure us that everything is at its correct place, receiving the appropriate treatment by the universe in a way that is never to be questioned.

Another case of that ambiguity being allowed to exist without being immediately crushed and repressed is the case of the Horned God (interesting parallel to Ganon's actual horns that he develops in this game in case the hellish parallels weren't clear enough already): a demon Hylia sealed into stone and pushed far from humans in a clear case of questionable behavior since, while the Horned God isn't exactly nice, does propose a different philosophy you are not punished for exploring; and yet, a proposal that has seen itself persecuted in a very real sense by the goddess of absolute goodness, patron of hylians, Zelda, and many more. Pushed away from view.

Interesting.

And Yet, Light Must Prevail

Okay, so, after all of this, we're left to ask... What the fuck is up with morality in Tears of the Kingdom?!

What do we trust? These half-breaths in the occasional sidequests that Light and Darkness is just the wrong frame of reference, that nature cannot be this simple, is ever-shifting and can be recalled or reaffirmed by arbitrary forces, and might even not matter at all in the universe's fabric, despite having so much of its lore soaking in the dychotomy? Or... everything else about the game, this insistence that Good must not only be assumed as whatever tradition the kingdom has passed down for thousands upon thousands of years, but remain utterly unquestioned the entire time? That Bad is without cause, graceless and unworthy of investment?

Are the Bargainer's statues the only thing worth listening to, that morality is a fable the living tells themselves --or should we be moved when Darkness destroys Light, when Light suffers to preserve itself and the world --but not when the Other is rightfully slain?

Was Kilton correct to see beauty in the monstrous? Was Kolton onto something when he let go of his previous form because there is no clear distinction between what should receive an arrow to the face and what shouldn't? Or should we rather focus on Zelda losing her human form as a beautiful and tragic sacrifice --but something that never actually altered her nature as a hylian, the descendant of a lineage of Good Kings meant to rule forever?

Is the Dondon good because it always was, or was it worth Zelda's love in spite of the fear it initially provoked?

Either way, at the end of the game, evil is slain. Ganondorf is, not killed, but --like his angry BotW boar counterpart-- destroyed, as monsters tend to be. He explodes over the lands of Hyrule, freed from Darkness; freed from everything wrong, since the foreign menace that embodied it all was wiped out in one fateful sweep of a holy blade cradled in sacrificial love. Nothing wrong remains. The Sages reaffirm their vows to protect the kingdom forward, and a very human --hylian-- Zelda smiles: Hyrule now forever and ever basked in eternal Light.

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