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dwellordream · 3 years

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“…The complex design of the Victorian house signified the changing ratio between the cultural and physical work situated there. With its twin parlors, one for formal, the other for intimate exchange, and its separate stairs and entrances for servants, the Victorian house embodied cultural preoccupations with specialized functions, particularly distinguishing between public and private worlds.

American Victorians maintained an expectation of sexualized and intimate romanticism in private at the same time that they sustained increasingly ‘‘proper’’ expectations for conduct in public. The design of the house helped to facilitate the expression of both tendencies, with a formal front parlor designed to stage proper interactions with appropriate callers, and the nooks, crannies, and substantial private bedrooms designed for more intimate exchange or for private rumination itself.

Just as different areas of the house allowed for different gradations of intimacy, so did the house offer rooms designed for different users. The ideal home offered a lady’s boudoir, a gentleman’s library, and of course a children’s nursery. This ideal was realized in the home of Elizabeth E. Dana, daughter of Richard Henry Dana, who described her family members situated throughout the house in customary and specialized space in one winter’s late afternoon in 1865. Several of her siblings were in the nursery watching a sunset, ‘‘Father is in his study as usual, mother is taking her nap, and Charlotte is lying down and Sally reading in her room.’’ In theory, conduct in the bowels of the house was more spontaneous than conduct in the parlor.

This was partly by design, in the case of adults, but by nature in the case of children. If adults were encouraged to discover a true, natural self within the inner chambers of the house, children—and especially girls—were encouraged to learn how to shape their unruly natural selves there so that they would be presentable in company. The nursery for small children acknowledged that childish behavior was not well-suited for ‘‘society’’ and served as a school for appropriate conduct, especially in Britain, where children were taught by governesses in the nursery, and often ate there as well. In the United States children usually went to school and dined with their parents. As the age of marriage increased, the length of domestic residence for some girls extended to twenty years and more.

The lessons of the nursery became more indirect as children grew up. Privacy for children was not designed simply to segregate them from adults but was also a staging arena for their own calisthenics of self-discipline. A room of one’s own was the perfect arena for such exercises in responsibility. As the historian Steven Mintz observes, such midcentury advisers as Harriet Martineau and Orson Fowler ‘‘viewed the provision of children with privacy as an instrument for instilling self-discipline. Fowler, for example, regarded private bedrooms for children as an extension of the principle of specialization of space that had been discovered by merchants. If two or three children occupied the same room, none felt any responsibility to keep it in order.’’

…The argument for the girl’s room of her own rested on the perfect opportunity it provided for practicing for a role as a mistress of household. As such, it came naturally with early adolescence. The author Mary Virginia Terhune’s advice to daughters and their mothers presupposed a room of one’s own on which to practice the housewife’s art. Of her teenage protagonist Mamie, Terhune announced: ‘‘Mamie must be encouraged to make her room first clean, then pretty, as a natural following of plan and improvement. . . . Make over the domain to her, to have and to hold, as completely as the rest of the house belongs to you. So long as it is clean and orderly, neither housemaid nor elder sister should interfere with her sovereignty.’’ Writing in 1882, Mary Virginia Terhune favored the gradual granting of autonomy to girls as a natural part of their training for later responsibilities.

…Victorian parents convinced their daughters that the secret to a successful life was strict and conscientious self-rule. The central administrative principle was carried forth from childhood: the responsibility to ‘‘be good.’’ The phrase conveyed the prosecution of moralist projects and routines, and perhaps equally significant, the avoidance or suppression of temper and temptation. Being good extended beyond behavior and into the realm of feeling itself. Being good meant what it said—actually transfiguring negative feelings, including desire and anger, so that they ceased to become a part of experience.

Historians of emotion have argued that culture can shape temperament and experience; the historian Peter Stearns, for one, argues that ‘‘culture often influences reality’’ and that ‘‘historians have already established some connections between Victorian culture and nineteenth-century emotional reality.’’ More recently, the essays in Joel Pfister and Nancy Schnog’s Inventing the Psychological share the assumption that the emotions are ‘‘historically contingent, socially specific, and politically situated.’’ The Victorians themselves also believed in the power of context to transform feeling.

The transformation of feeling was the end product of being good. Early lessons were easier. Part of being good was simply doing chores and other tasks regularly, as Alcott’s writings suggest. One day in 1872 Alice Blackwell practiced the piano ‘‘and was good,’’ and another day she went for a long walk ‘‘for exercise,’’ made two beds, set the table, ‘‘and felt virtuous.’’ Josephine Brown’s New Year’s resolutions suggested such a regimen of virtue—sanctioned both by the inherent benefits of the plan and by its regularity.

As part of her plan to ‘‘make this a better year,’’ she resolved to read three chapters of the Bible every day (and five on Sunday) and to ‘‘study hard and understandingly in school as I never have.’’ At the same time, Brown realized that doing a virtuous act was never simply a question of mustering the positive energy to accomplish a job. It also required mastering the disinclination to drudge. She therefore also resolved, ‘‘If I do feel disinclined, I will make up my mind and do it.’’

The emphasis on forming steady habits brought together themes in religion and industrial culture. The historian Richard Rabinowitz has explained how nineteenth-century evangelicalism encouraged a moralism which rejected the introspective soul-searching of Calvinism, instead ‘‘turning toward usefulness in Christian service as a personal goal.’’ This pragmatic spirituality valued ‘‘habits and routines rather than events,’’ including such habits as daily diary writing and other regular demonstrations of Christian conduct. Such moralism blended seamlessly with the needs of industrial capitalism—as Max Weber and others have persuasively argued.

Even the domestic world, in some ways justified by its distance from the marketplace, valued the order and serenity of steady habits. Such was the message communicated by early promoters of sewing machines, for instance, one of whom offered the use of the sewing machine as ‘‘excellent training . . . because it so insists on having every-thing perfectly adjusted, your mind calm, and your foot and hand steady and quiet and regular in their motions.’’ The relation between the market place and the home was symbiotic. Just as the home helped to produce the habits of living valued by prudent employers, so, as the historian Jeanne Boydston explains, the regularity of machinery ‘‘was the perfect regimen for developing the placid and demure qualities required by the domestic female ideal.’’

Despite its positive formulation, ‘‘being good’’ often took a negative form —focusing on first suppressing or mastering ‘‘temper’’ or anger. The major target was ‘‘willfulness.’’ An adviser participating in Chats with Girls proposed the cultivation of ‘‘a perfectly disciplined will,’’ which would never ‘‘yield to wrong’’ but instantly yield to right. Such a will, too, could teach a girl to curb her unruly feelings. The Ladies’ Home Journal columnist Ruth Ashmore (a pseudonym for Isabel Mallon) more crudely warned readers ‘‘that the woman who allows her temper to control her will not retain one single physical charm.’’ As a young teacher, Louisa May Alcott wrestled with this most common vice.

Of her struggles for self-control, she recognized that ‘‘this is the teaching I need; for as a school-marm I must behave myself and guard my tongue and temper carefully, and set an example of sweet manners.’’ Alcott, of course, made a successful career out of her efforts to master her maverick temper. The autobiographical heroine of her most successful novel, Little Women, who has spoken to successive generations of readers as they endured female socialization, was modeled on her own struggles to bring her spirited temperament in accord with feminine ideals.

So in practice being good first meant not being bad. Indeed, it was some- times better not to ‘‘be’’ much at all. Girls sometimes worked to suppress liveliness of all kinds. Agnes Hamilton resolved at the beginning of 1884 that she would ‘‘study very hard this year and not have any spare time,’’ and also that she would try to stop talking, a weakness she had identified as her principle fault.

When Lizzie Morrissey got angry she didn’t speak for the rest of the evening, certainly preferable to impassioned speech. Charlotte Perkins Gilman, who later critiqued many aspects of Victorian repression, at the advanced age of twenty-one at New Year’s made her second resolution: ‘‘Correct and necessary speech only.’’

Mary Boit, too, measured her goodness in terms of actions uncommitted. ‘‘I was good and did not do much of anything,’’ she recorded ambiguously at the age of ten. It is perhaps this reservation that provoked the reflection of southerner Lucy Breckinridge, who anticipated with excitement the return of her sister from a long trip. ‘‘Eliza will be here tomorrow. She has been away so long that I do not know what I shall do to repress my joy when she comes. I don’t like to be so glad when anybody comes.’’ Breckinridge clearly interpreted being good as in practice an exercise in suppression. This was just the lesson of self-censoring that Alice James had starkly described as ‘‘‘killing myself,’ as some one calls it.’’

This emphasis on repressing emotion became especially problematic for girls in light of another and contradictory principle connected with being good. A ‘‘good’’ girl was happy, and this positive emotion she should express in moderation. Explaining the duties of a girl of sixteen, an adviser writing in the Ladies’ Home Journal noted that she should learn ‘‘that her part is to make the sunshine of the home, to bring cheer and joyousness into it.’’ At the same time that a girl must suppress selfishness and temper, she must also project contentment and love. Advisers simply suggested that a girl employ a steely resolve to substitute one for the other. ‘‘Every one of my girls can be a sunshiny girl if she will,’’ an adviser remonstrated. ‘‘Let every failure act as an incentive to greater success.’’

This message could be concentrated into an incitement not to glory and ethereal virtue but simply to a kind of obliging ‘‘niceness.’’ This was the moral of a tale published in The Youth’s Companion in 1880. A traveler in Norway arrives in a village which is closed up at midday in mourning for a recent death. The traveler imagines that the deceased must have been a magnate or a personage of wealth and power. He inquires, only to be told, ‘‘It is only a young maiden who is dead. She was not beautiful nor rich. But oh, such a pleasant girl.’’ ‘‘Pleasantness’’ was the blandest possible expression of the combined mandate to repress and ultimately destroy anger and to project and ultimately feel love and concern.

Yet it was a logical blending of the religious messages of the day as well. Richard Rabinowitz’s work on the history of spirituality notes a new later-century current which blended with the earlier emphasis on virtuous routines. The earlier moralist discipline urged the establishment of regular habits and the steady attention to duty. Later in the century, religion gained a more experiential and private dimension, expressed in devotionalism. Both of these demands—for regular virtue and the experience and expression of religious joy—could provide a loftier argument for the more mundane ‘‘pleasant.’’

…The challenges of this project were particularly bracing given the acute sensitivity of the age to hypocrisy. One must not only appear happy to meet social expectations: one must feel the happiness. The origins of this insistence came not only from a demanding evangelical culture but also from a fluid social world in which con artists lurked in parlors as well as on riverboats. A young woman must be completely sincere both in her happiness and in her manners if she was not to be guilty of the corruptions of the age. One adviser noted the dilemma: ‘‘‘Mamma says I must be sincere,’ said a fine young girl, ‘and when I ask her whether I shall say to certain people, ‘‘Good morning, I am not very glad to see you,’’ she says, ‘‘My dear, you must be glad to see them, and then there will be no trouble.’’’’’

…No wonder that girls filled their journals with mantras of reassurance as they attempted to square the circle of Victorian emotional expectation. Anna Stevens included a separate list stuck between the pages of her diary. ‘‘Everything is for the best, and all things work together for good. . . . Be good and you will be happy. . . . Think twice before you speak.’’

We look upon these aphorisms as throwaways—platitudes which scarcely deserve to be preserved along with more ‘‘authentic’’ manuscript material. Yet these mottoes, preserved and written in most careful handwriting in copy books and journals, represent the straws available to girls attempting to grasp the complex and ultimately unreconcilable projects of Victorian emotional etiquette and expectation.”

- Jane H. Hunter, “Houses, Families, Rooms of One Own.” in How Young Ladies Became Girls: The Victorian Origins of American Girlhood

#history #victorian #jane h. hunter #how young ladies became girls #gender

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baconpal · 5 years

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talkin bout fire force

shit boys it’s been too long time for another unprompted juvenile rant about manga, click keep reading if you’re insane and keep scrolling if you aren’t

So Fire Force anime starts in just about a week and I decided to just read it all instead of waiting for any anime. It took a while to read all of it and now I just kind of have a lot to say about the manga, the anime, and the author. So here we go.

I actually have a lot of good things to talk about, but I’ll get the bad shit out of the way first:

THE WRITING

idk his name it doesn’t really matter since he’s made like 2 things he’s just the soul eater guy; his art style has always been charming and the action scenes keep improving but his actual narrative writing is real bad. I’ll talk about the characters themselves since I actually think FF’s characters are a ridiculous improvement from soul eater, and the setting/aesthetic are on point as well but the plot is just as bad if not worse than whatever soul eater was.

The story is riddled with what should obviously be throwaway characters that keep being brought back and doing something evil and unexpected because it’s a shounen manga and if you aren’t being betrayed then the plot isn’t moving forward, or someone introduced as an obviously villainous character just kind of agrees to be friends in a couple chapters. This is used as a constant cycle of introducing both a set of “evil” and “good” characters, then one of the old “good” sets of characters does something evil and the newest “evil” guys turn out to be good. It’s not interesting or shocking to have a character you can’t even remember come back and act like they’re important, especially if it’s repeated over and over.

FF pretends to have some kind of politic overtones where religions and businesses and such act as their own entities and betray each other and prey on the civilians, but you see absolutely none of the impact anybody’s actions have on the world despite ridiculous things constantly happening and world shaking truths being brought to light over and over, nothing happens. Villains will also have ridiculous unbeatable abilities but then just be ignored, such as making zombie apocalypses or controlling minds and such. This is also likely a concession of being a shounen manga, where you can’t expect readers to read every single chapter, and usually on a week to week basis, so every chapter needs to have its own big shit happening, even if there’s no plans to follow through on anything.

The worst part about the writing is how much stuff that the reader didn’t know about and has no idea what it is is passed of as some shocking twist when it’s introduced. This mostly happens with powers and with new factions. There’s a ridiculous amount of times where a new group steps in as the bad guy like mentioned earlier. But for the powers, there’s so many things layered on top of an actually acceptable power system that just seem to cause a DBZ type of escalation of power without the fight scenes actually becoming that much crazier at all. On top of the simple 2nd/3rd generation fire fighter powers, the main character is meant to utilize the adolla burst, the adolla link, the preacher’s divine protection, the okay hand emoji that makes you go fast, the breath of life, and superfire fighting. None of that means anything to anyone and are just used as “MC needs to be better at something but only temporarily” over and over. It’s similar to Maka and Soul’s deals with the devil in soul eater except much more common and with absolutely no downsides.

Also not the fault of the writer himself but there is not ANY good translation of this manga out there holy shit. There’s so many incredibly obvious puns and connections and choices of words to be made that are just entirely ignored, the typesetting is always awful, and no name for moves, characters, or even the title are ever agreed upon. It took until the official release titled “Fire Force” before people stopped trying to call the manga “Burning Firefighter Squad of Fire”.

THE ANIME

Just a bit more bad to say before I go into all the shit about this manga i actually like. The anime looks awful. A lot of anime does right now, very little of note has been coming out or seems to be coming in the future, which is usually the case but its not getting better and that sucks!

But specifically the fire force anime, following up after soul eater, has absolutely none of the visual charm translated from the manga to anime, the voice casting is absolutely abysmal, and there’s nothing to give me hope in it, not enough to even give it an episode most likely. People might try to defend David productions because woah man I love jojo!!! but they’re pretty fucking bad at animating anything. The choice of color is gross and the visual effects are bland, which is a bad place to start for a show that will contain tons of fire and other bombastic effects. Big shame.

OKAY ONTO THAT GOOD SHIT

CHARACTER DESIGN

The visual designs in soul eater were cool if a bit janky, and the actual concepts for characters were far from astounding, usually being able to fully describe characters in single words and not having much development outside of combat abilities. But Fire Force has some of the most tight characters I’ve seen in a while, they’re all simple and focused with strong thematic elements.

Ya’ll know me, hopefully. I really appreciate simple designs and simple characters. Complicated does not equal deep, and simple does not equal shallow. The characters in fire force will usually embody a concept, or a concept and its exact opposite, and be never waver from their design. I’ll talk about em for specific characters when I get to em but even lots of minor characters are very well focused and I appreciate it.

SHINRA

The main character, and while his grocery list of special abilities and “chosen one” kinda shit is annoying, he starts of as a very strong introspective of the weight of your actions vs the impression you give of in the eyes of society. The easiest way to describe it is through the very obvious identity struggle he goes through of wanting to be known as a “Hero” but instead being “The Devil”. All Shinra ever does is selflessly save peoples lives and put himself at extreme risk, he tells everyone and their grandma that they can call on him when they need a hero, and yet his visuals consist of a dark haired punk who constantly smiles a sharp toothy smile, his ability that he uses to fly in and do kamen rider kicks with spews fire from his feet in the shape of pointy wings, and this fire puts a heavy shadow over his face, giving him a monsterous siloutte. It’s not at all subtle that he just looks as evil and menacing as possible, and so his reputation is constantly negative no matter how kind he is. It’s not explored all that deeply but it is still a strong contrast.

ARTHUR

What a fucking idiot. What an absolute buffoon. This stupid fuck functions as a very simple gag character by being nearly too dumb to function and living in a made up reality as a fantasy knight, but is also able to exist as one of the strongest characters in combat. His ridiculous power is handled in a much more engaging way than Shinra’s. As instead of layering multiple chosen one abilities on him, he becomes weaker or stronger depending on his suspension of disbelief. The more in character as a powerful knight he becomes, the stronger he is. It’s a clean way to make a funny delusional characters struggle actually mean something to the people around them, instead of being left to his own devices or constantly told to fuck off. And while I said the plot isn’t very good, the smaller character beats can be very powerful. For example, It was already pretty easy to just accept Arthur as he was, but his family situation is explored late into the manga, and it’s shown that he began to live in fantasy to escape from his families arguments and poor living conditions. His parents take advantage of his disconnect and abandon their home with him in it, leaving all their responsibilities to him with a note saying he’s now the king and has inherited their castle. This pushes him to an even more absurd degree of fantasy in order to just live out his life knowing he was unloved and unwanted. It very understated how you can make a character that’s mostly used for jokes still be very easy to connect to and empathize.

TAMAKI

This one is likely to be the hottest take made from me here today, but this is the most interesting character in this series for a variety of reasons.

Visuals out of the way, the fire fighter outfits everyone wears already look cool as shit and big puffy coats just get me goin, this girl absolutely rocks it on top of having twintails and a cute face. That’s not objective in anyway this is just a character designed to bait specifically me and its fucking working, okay? The writing is the actually interesting part.

So something that’s usually not even worth talking about is fan service. Show of a girls titties cus its what dudes in their teens want to see, its free (You)s for shounen manga, and soul eater was full of it. It was pretty bad in soul eater and could come at jarring and unneeded times for characters that didn’t seem to exist for any sexual reasons. It was a very poor way to include fan service.

Fire Force also begins in a similar spot, the 3 main girls that are around in the beginning chapters are occasionally seen changing or in a bath or covered in water or whatever, with one particularly bad spread of them with the classic no nipple no vagina bodies all standing together in a shower. Its awkward and stiff and even as a fan of anime tiddie it just wasn’t worth having.

But then that wildman just does it. He creates one single character to put literally every single ounce of horny energy in to. A character who exists to fall over and get her tits pushed into someones face, but pushed to a cartoonish extreme. It sounds silly to try to pass off fanservice as funny, but it is. It’s so ridiculously intended and impossible and always varied that its actually fun to see her do something stupid and for something to happen. Sometimes its just her ass landing on a dudes face (god i wish that were me) or her body being exposed and drawn in pretty high detail. Sometimes instead they get an entire dude stuck in her shirt after just tripping in a way that is not not being sexual to the reader at all since you see absolutely no skin. She’s simply destined to be put into lewd situations in universe, not in regards to the manga itself. For an example, here she is just standing completely still, and suddenly becoming naked, drawn in a distant, goofy way:

It’s stupid. It’s definitely still fan service, but it’s just ridiculous. And that’s way more interesting than having every girl in your series randomly get naked at some point. Despite being insane it still works on boys, as Tamaki is the most popular girl in the series by far, ranked as the second most popular character consistently.

Tamaki also leads to the single best chapter of the manga where a horribly designed throw-away assassin who was beaten by her returns for revenge, but just ends up as a short, self contained, well paced comedic story of love.

And guess what, she’s still interesting outside of being funny and having fan service. Her cartoonish luck is essentially treated as her actual power, and her fire cat abilities aren’t explored too deeply during most of the series, but this is done for a greater purpose of essentially spitting in the face of high stakes. Tamaki easily witnesses the most deaths in the series, and most of them are cruel and unusual. She witnesses children being killed by a man who inspired her, she sees people she just met be beheaded in some gruesome shots that aren’t anywhere else in the series, and she gets involved in all sorts of life threatening situations. She still just falls over and gets naked. She’ll have fairly serious fights where she tries her hardest or the people around her are completely serious, and without bringing any direct attention to it she still ends up showing skin. There’s a point where every single character is at risk of dying at once to a trap set by the enemy, and Tamaki quietly laments over how she’ll be the only one to survive. She is completely aware of her ridiculous luck and her complete immunity to stakes, which is honestly just great.

Even beyond that, Tamaki is slowly being built up as more and more of an actual character, she has a short backstory section where her own hard work and effort is basically ignored by everyone around her, as if her success in life is only a result of her good luck, which is a feeling that hits very close to home to me (fuck you if you’ve ever discredited someones hard work because they’re “””””talented””””). And in the most recent couple of chapters, shes made an active effort to train alongside Shinra and Arthur, who both value the improvements they can make to themselves through hard work. No other characters in the cast make conscious efforts to improve from their status in the way Tamaki does. She moves up from a joke character to now trying to stand along side the main character as a useful and though out character. It’s a genuinely wonderful character to have been developed and the best thing I’ve gotten from this author.

VISUALS AND COMPOSITION

Okay enough about the characters, the last little thing I wanna touch on is just some of the absolutely bonkers kinds of compositions in this manga. One of the villains has an ability that is explained incredibly poorly. Pretty sure it’s just a time slowing ability that has nothing to do with fire but whatever. The pages where he uses the ability have this absolutely sick warped look to them that plays with the panels in a way that couldn’t be depicted in any other medium. Just look at this shit.

Every panel has a different background and yet still describes a single cut in time. It might not really mean anything, but that’s fucking sick dude.

Another pretty interesting one is this one kid named Nataku, who has an ability forced onto him by a maniac with a motif of stars for eyes, who dies immediately after. This event is shown to have absolutely traumatized him not because its directly said, but because this dead character appears constantly in panels with this kid, sometimes taking up the entire background to yell at him, or being an almost impossible to see spec lingering behind him. Nataku is also drawn in this strange sketchy style where he seems to be melting, and sometimes melds into shapes that resemble this dead character, such Nataku’s mouth becoming the fucking eyeball of the dead guy, star pupil and everything. It’s just such a specific and horrific way to depict that kind of identity trauma and it really stuck out to me.

I’LL SHUT UP NOW

And ye that’s about it. It was a lot of rambling and there are still lots of little things i like about the manga, good designs and cool fights and stuff but i just wanted to talk about the things that were really noteworthy to me.

It’s been a long time since I’ve spent 4 hours just typing about stuff but if you actually read any of this, on this dead website of all places, you’re cool. Hope you found something interesting too.

#Fire Force #juvenile rant

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emptymanuscript · 5 years

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Head meet desk. Desk meet head.

You ever get an abysmally short way into something before you... well... need to slam your head against a desk?

So, I’m not going to name names on this writing book but it gets something fairly blantant wrong straight out the gate, appropriately enough having to do with beginnings.

I don’t know if they call it this any more because of all the changes in the media landscape but when I was growing up they had the TEASER. The TEASER was that thing at the front of the episode to get you pumped to watch it. Sometimes it was a bunch of exciting bits stitched together: “Tonight on Murder She Wrote” And there’s a body, and gunfire, and oh my gosh Jessica is in D-A-N-G-E-R!!!!

Or, my favorite show as a child had about one minute of intense drama or action or the declaration that this planet is like paradise before suddenly it all goes to hell and cut to the intro or commercial.

The TEASER was a television invention to keep butts in seats right at the start so no one turned off the television when the prior show was over.

The TEASER was pretty good at its job. We got MUST SEE TV. And so it naturally migrated over into Movies and Books who also need to keep butts in seats. Teasers and prologues often go together now, as a way to drum up excitement in order to keep that butt in the seat and those pages flipping. That’s generally fine.

Unfortunately, there is an entirely different concept that it now often mistakenly and dangerously gets conflated with because their jobs are so similar.

The fundamental opening move of a novel to keep a reader reading it is the Hook. The Hook, and I cannot stress this enough, is not a Teaser. Even if you put your Hook INSIDE the teaser, they are not the same thing.

The Teaser’s job is generating excitement. Oh my gosh danger! Eek disaster! Wow, that’s such a cool awesome nifty display of super powers and laser beams!! The Teaser is the shock and awe approach to entertainment. It can work beautifully for THAT. What it can’t do, just as with military might, is change hearts and minds.

The Hook dsoesn’t have to be flashy, it’s rarely big outside of summer blockbusters, it’s significantly less about GRABBING attention and much more about PROMISING that you’ll enjoy this if you keep going.

The Hook does appear very close to the beginning of the story but it’s not about making the blood pump, it’s about appealing to the psyche and relating to the main character and what they want and how they can’t just have it.

I love star wars. I love to use star wars when I talk about writing because it is really good for it. One of the exceptions is the Hook. Star Wars has a phenomenal teaser. It’s Hook is iffy. Unfortunately the teaser is so good that people thought it was a Hook and the idea that big flashy splashes of awesomesauce was how you Hooked people filtered out into the writing advice world. And I’m reading a description that talks about how you start stories with a Hook and their first example is Star Wars.

No.

An equally famous and possibly overhyped way to look is Stephen King. King is VERY good at Hooks. He’s very good at putting them in first lines. Which is earlier than you have to put them but admire it when you see it.

The first line of 11/22/63 is “I've never been what you'd call a crying man.” This is a great Hook because you already know what this book is ABOUT. Not about in terms of what you read on the back cover but ABOUT in terms of the deeper themes that you’re going to explore inside it in regards to who this person is and what their world is like. You already know that he is emotionally detached... so something will challenge that... that he isn’t someone who cries... so we know something is going to happen to make it happen - otherwise he wouldn’t need to say it.

And that’s the sort of thing you need to be thinking of with a Hook. Not action. If it was only action, then what would all the piles on piles of fiction that isn’t action oriented be using for Hooks? A Hook is dangling the really good stuff right up front. How characters are morally, emotionally, and psychologically challenged. It’s the first hint that no matter how easy their goal might seem it’s going to test them or how impossible their goal might seem there’s something wrong enough with them that they’re going to try it anyway.

It doesn’t have to be negative. Perhaps they are pure as the driven snow, but there this just one temptation, just one, that maybe might ruin everything. It’s the promise of the drama to come. Something that the people involved may never even understand.

Another favorite King opening line: “The Man in Black fled across the desert and The Gunslinger followed.” It’s one of my favorite books and I freely admit it immediately goes off the rails with one of the dullest scenes of introspection ever written. Not all mysteries are good. But that first line is another one that’s a hook. Because it tells you immediately about the world - not the desert - but that people wear who they are on their sleeves. The Bad Guy is the Man in Black, like it’s an old hollywood western. But he’s the one fleeing. The dangerous person in the equation is the hero: the Gunslinger. And he doesn’t chase. He doesn’t race after. We already know in that first sentence that the Gunslinger is slow and patient and implacable. But all of that isn’t really the hook, though it’s attention grabbing. The part that really does the job is something most probably miss. I certainly did when I first read it. There are no names in that sentence. There is no I. There is no actual declaration of anything personal in it. It’s the entire surface conflict of the book layed out in perfect clarity - The Gunslinger does spend the WHOLE book following the Man in Black. That’s the book. But it’s not. Because it’s not a story about The Gunslinger. It’s about a guy named Roland who is the last of the Gunslingers and his relationship with a lost boy named Jake. But The Gunslinger is a title, it’s a thing, it’s an impersonal representation, not a person, not even Roland. What that first sentence sets up so beautifully is that Roland’s greatest moral failing, deeper than all the crimes he admits to, and he confesses to many, is that he has become his role instead of a person. The Man in Black is just some semi-anonymous devil who we see flashes of but he too is opaque. These are men playing out ROLES at the cost of being people. Because if you’re the Man in Black, you do bad things. If you’re the Gunslinger, you shoot and kill. Roland, in his pursuit of the Man in Black has become his role and followed in the footsteps becoming a monster himself. And while none of that is spelled out clearly, the first pieces of the puzzle are their in that line for the subconscious to pick up.

That’s a hook: read this because we’re going to go all those places you want to go and all those places you’re afraid to go. And this, right here, is just a hint, just a promise, of what a magnificent trip it’s going to be.

And, yes, action can perform the job of a hook it’s just difficult because the Hook is much more about the internal world than the external world. If you put forward a big flashy fight and awesome lasers, you are telling your audience that that’s the journey, not whatever might be going on inside the character in terms or arc or growth or change. You’re selling the world and not the people. Again, fine, just be aware of that. You will have to keep delivering the cool every scene because the characters aren’t the draw anymore.

#creative writing #writing advice #writeblr #Hook

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evakuality · 5 years

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Hi! Can I get a director's commentary for You're my (arche)type? And maybe someting from Inside Out(cast) as well? I just love this universe (well, the society is far from ideal, but, you, know, the characters and everything). It's hard to pick something to focus on, but maybe something about the background for the story and your experience of writing it?

Ah Camilla, thank you for asking this. I love this universe as well, despite the less than ideal aspects of the society. The background of these stories started close to a year before I wrote it, in another idea that didn’t quite pan out. In some ways I’m glad I didn’t do that idea, it was too involved and too big to have been successfully completed. I say that considering that these two fics between them have close to 300,000 words. Widening that whole idea to more characters (it was going to be five or six couples plus Eskild and his stories) would have been daunting. And so it narrowed down to Even and what it might be like for him to be considered in one way when it didn’t fit who he is and didn’t allow him to have any control over his own life and his own future. It was really interesting to look at nature and nurture and how they might collide. In the end it developed far more than I expected it to, but even now I feel like there are other things I could have said or done with that fic. There is still so much that’s left unsaid in the world Even lives in.

One thing that did happen because of that feeling was the frustration I felt when writing Even’s side that there were hidden parts of Isak and his thoughts and feelings that we didn’t get to see. So of course that’s why Inside Out(cast) started. That one was supposed to be a bunch of short one shots fitting in between the parts of Even’s story that didn’t leave room for Isak’s side to be told effectively. And then I started writing it, and realised that actually, the idea of the Outcasts was too fun and too interesting to me to just do it that way. I wanted to take a look at what his type was like for Isak. Of course, that came with its own challenges, the biggest of which was how to revisit a scene that Even lived through that would have been equally important to Isak without being too repetitive. Obviously, there were always going to be some repetitions just by virtue of trying to do this fic ‘inside out’ but minimising them or making them interesting carried its own problems. I’m still not sure how successful that side has been and I do always try to include extra scenes for Isak (which is why his fic is many more words than Even’s even unfinished as it is), but it’s been an interesting exercise. Here’s some examples of moments that were developed from one to the other:

Even’s side from You’re my (arche)type:

At first glance it’s a normal morning scene. Even’s mother is at the table with a cup of coffee steaming in front of her, and Isak is opposite with one of his own in his hands. Even’s father is cooking eggs in the background, stirring them with an expert’s eye and throwing in a hint of seasoning. It should be a cosy scene but it’s not. There’s something subtly off in the way they’re all holding their bodies, his father’s a little tense as he stirs mechanically, his mother’s smile stiff and her hands flitting from her mug’s handle to wrap around the middle and back again. Isak holds himself rigid, back ramrod straight and hands clenched. Even is sensitive to the atmosphere around him as he slides into his own seat next to Isak. He feels himself tensing up, his back stiffening as he takes in the silence of those around him and the way Isak’s eyes are firmly and deliberately averted from his.

“Hey,” he says, smiling at his mother and crinkling his eyes at Isak.

Is it his imagination, or does Isak slide slightly further away from him on his chair?

“Hi, Even,” his mother says, her voice clipped and strained today, though she’s clearly trying to appear casual. Her fingers still follow their flitting pattern on the mug. “You want some coffee?”

“Oh.” Even glances towards Isak, who’s still not looking at him, then looks over at her and shakes his head. “Uh, no thanks. I’m fine.”

“I was just getting reacquainted with Isak, here,” she says now, her teeth baring slightly and Even shudders.

She knows. That means Isak knows. It’s all over, and everything he’d hoped for is gone. Shit, fuck. It’s all coming down around him right here, right now and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

Isak nods at her words, his eyes flickering over to Even’s before he drops them again to look into his coffee.

Isak’s side from Inside Out(cast):

He tries to stand up, but finds himself falling back into the seat because his legs are too wobbly to hold him up. Isak wants to leave, to get out of here, away from these sympathetic and kind glances and away from Even. Who he definitely doesn’t want to see right now, and maybe not ever. The very thought of him makes Isak’s throat close in pained anger.

So of course, that’s when Even appears at the door. His hair is still tousled and he still looks so goddam beautiful Isak could cry. Isak holds himself as stiff as he can, because he’s so close to letting the emotions pour out and he doesn’t want to be that guy. He doesn’t want to be the one who cries because some asshole led him on and thought it was funny to play around outside his archetype. Isak has some dignity, but it takes everything he has to hold onto it in this moment.

It’s painful to watch, Isak thinks as he sees Even walk in. There’s a stiffness to his movements and a jerkiness to his smile that show he’s picked up on the tension in the room. Of course he has; he’s a Beast, Isak thinks. Icy horror washes over him again. A Beast. Like Mamma. Isak clenches his fists as tightly as he can, trying hard to keep his cool, to stay in control. It’s bad enough that he’s been fooled; it would be a hundred times worse for Even to see how successful his joke has been. He stares down at his fists, noting dispassionately the whiteness of the knuckles as they strain to press his fingers ever more firmly into the flesh of his palms, the only thing helping Isak retain his composure in this moment. Anything’s better than looking at Even right now. One look into those eyes that he’s been starting to love … well, Isak’s not sure his composure would survive the onslaught.

“Hey,” Even says. He smiles at his mother, and Isak can see the way he’s looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He can’t help the movement he makes away from Even because every instinct he has screams at him to get closer, to enjoy those hands and those eyes and that smile. But Isak can’t allow that. Even’s beauty can’t hide the lying and the trickery; it can’t disguise the pain that Isak is feeling right now.

There are a few things going on here. The most obvious is the way they each think about what’s going on. One has known there’s a problem for a while and has tried to hide it and it’s now crashing in on him. The other has only learned of all the issues a minute or two before this confrontation and so he’s still in shock. That obviously changes the types of words used and the way each of them thinks and the rawness of those thoughts. But there’s also a lot less detail in Even’s thoughts because I kind of see Even as someone who lives a bit faster and operates a bit quicker and less introspectively. Couple that with the fact that he’s not been hit with new information and that means his part isn’t as detailed or filled with emotive words as Isak’s. There is some of that in there but not in the same way. Isak as a narrator is a lot more unreliable, a lot more wordy and a lot more negative than Even is, apart from certain parts of Even’s story. So that’s some info for you on what I do with these bits and why. Those bits are always interesting to do but are also the hardest parts as well. Because it’s difficult to put them side by side like this and have it make sense (and also because sometimes in Even’s fic I have to really fight to remember what I intended Isak to be thinking and recreate that for his side).

Come ask me for a director’s commentary if you’d like

#my meme stuff #my fic stuff #hjertetssunnegalskap1

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benjaminjamestaylor · 5 years

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My Top 10 Albums of 2018

If you know me well, you know I do this every year. It’s not in the hope that people will read it; more a sort of time capsule that I can look back on in the future and fondly remember the music that soundtracked my year. Some years, there’s a clear and obvious number one (Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly in 2015, for example). Others – such as this one – are more of a close-run thing, with the top spots changing sometimes as late as the writing process.

Before I get to my top ten, I would be remiss not to mention a few albums that missed out but have nonetheless been regulars in my rotation this year. Firstly, I should tip my cap to the experimentation shown by Beach House, Ben Howard, and Low, all of whom showed a refreshing intent to break from their norm and make some greatly interesting music. I’m also acutely aware of the lack of representation for R&B and hip-hop in my top ten – I didn’t ignore these genres, it just so happened that they weren’t among my ten favourites. Kids See Ghosts and Earl Sweatshirt in particular came close, and Janelle Monáe was another that I enjoyed greatly. Here’s my honourable mentions list in full:

Beach House – 7; Ben Howard – Noonday Dream; Low – Double Negative; Janelle Monáe – Dirty Computer; Brockhampton – Iridescence; Anderson .Paak – Oxnard; Villagers – The Art of Pretending to Swim; Jeff Tweedy – WARM; Matt Maltese – Bad Contestant; Kids See Ghosts – Kids See Ghosts; Pusha T – Daytona; Earl Sweatshirt – Some Rap Songs; Parquet Courts – Wide Awake; Kurt Vile – Bottle It In; The Beths – Future Me Hates Me; Jungle – For Ever; Courtney Barnett – Tell Me How You Really Feel; Mitski – Be The Cowboy; Hop Along – Bark Your Head Off Dog; Lucy Dacus – Historian.

Also, here’s a Spotify playlist of all my favourite tracks from the year.

Now on to the top ten…

10. Blood Orange – Negro Swan

I’ve got a soft spot for a true album – one that’s greater than the sum of its parts, and should be listened to as a whole. There are actually very few tracks on Negro Swan that hit home outside the context of the album. But there’s so much to like here: the way tracks flow into each other, punctuated by regular snippets of dialogue from the likes of transgender activist Janet Mock. The word that defines this album is ‘introspection’ – there are regular references to the desire to be loved and the fear of allowing oneself to be loved completely. At times the tracks feel frustratingly unfinished, and that’s all that keeps this at the back end of my top ten.

Highlights: ‘Saint’, ‘Charcoal Baby’, ‘Nappy Wonder’

9. Snail Mail – Lush

It’s been a hell of a year for young, female indie rockers (more on that later…), and Lindsey Jordan (A.K.A. Snail Mail) is perhaps the most prodigious of them all. The teenager’s debut, Lush, is a highly impressive record that showcases her signature sound: subtle, twinkly guitar melodies and foot-tapping drum beats. It tails off a little towards the back end of the album, as the novelty of her style begins to wear off. You wonder if this was a record she rushed into making, to capitalise on the considerable hype around her. If that’s the case, it’s a shame as a few more songs to the standard of ‘Pristine’ and ‘Heat Wave’ may have pushed this album up into my top five.

Highlights: ‘Pristine’, ‘Heat Wave’, ‘Stick’

8. The 1975 – A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

This album is getting a lot of love, and I’ll admit that on first listen I didn’t get the hype. The 1975 are a somewhat controversial band – they face lavish praise and upturned noses in seemingly equal measure. There were moments of their absurdly-titled previous record that I liked, but their overly synthetic sound and Matty Healy’s unique vocal style are occasionally grating. ABIIOR has its flaws, but there’s also much to admire. They’ve incorporated a variety of styles, from stripped-back acoustic to arena pop and even jazz. The obvious themes of life and love in a digital age are well-explored and the production is, at times, gorgeous. Stick with it – it might just grow on you.

Highlights: ‘Love It If We Made It’, ‘Inside Your Mind’, ‘I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)’

7. U.S. Girls – In A Poem Unlimited

In many ways, this record is a better executed version of the 1975’s. Meg Remy looks at similar themes of our problematic modern world, though in her case she explores them through a lens of feminine anger. Songs like ‘Rage of Plastics’ and ‘M.A.H.’ are direct, furious tirades towards American politics in the Obama era. The instrumentation and production is staggeringly brilliant throughout, with each track demonstrating a different string from Remy’s bow. On ‘Rosebud’, she channels her inner Madonna to produce one of the finest, most listenable indie pop tunes of the year.

Highlights: ‘M.A.H.’, ‘Rosebud’, ‘L-Over’

6. Maribou State – Kingdoms In Colour

My favourite electronic album of the year, Kingdoms In Colour improves on Maribou State’s encouraging debut, 2015’s Portraits. The improvements lie in their balance between the dance-pop hits, where they utilise long-time collaborator Holly Walker on vocals, and the more experimental, sample-based pieces that make up the rest of the album. It’s the latter that leave the most lasting impression, no better than on ‘Vale’, with the sample of Melanie de Baliso’s ‘I Feel You’ dovetailing beautifully with the group’s accompanying melody. If you’re looking for an album to put on as a backing track at your next party, look no further.

Highlights: ‘Beginner’s Luck’, ‘Nervous Tics’, ‘Vale’

5. Big Red Machine – Big Red Machine

A collaboration between Bon Iver and the National was never going to be bad, was it? Big Red Machine doesn’t quite hit the heights you might expect from such a high-profile meeting of minds, but there are enough moments of genius here to make it an album worth revisiting repeatedly. For the most part, Justin Vernon leaves his trademark complex song structures at the door in favour of simpler, more lineal compositions. This leads to some tracks feeling repetitive at times, although even these feature a central hook strong enough to keep you interested. And on 'Lyla', with its polyrhythms and meandering structure, there are hints of the exciting fruits this partnership could eventually produce.

Highlights: ‘Lyla’, ‘Hymnostic’, ‘I Won’t Run From It’

4. Arctic Monkeys – Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

Perhaps Arctic Monkeys’ most divisive album since Humbug, TBHAC is also their bravest and most ambitious. It’s essentially a concept album – tales of a futuristic hotel on the moon brought to life by Alex Turner’s controversial switch from guitar to piano. It’s no surprise that the album has alienated some of the band’s more fundamentalist fans, as there’s a blatant lack of Turner’s usual indie dancefloor hits as well as a side-lining of outstanding drummer Matt Helders. Instead, we’re treated to songs without clear structures and, aside from ‘Four Out Of Five’, catchy choruses. Turner occasionally strays too far towards self-indulgence (‘Batphone’ is a difficult listen), but he’s still a remarkable lyricist and he’s produced an album that cements their status as the band of their era.

Highlights: ‘Star Treatment’, ‘American Sports’, ‘Four Out Of Five’

3. boygenius – boygenius EP

I may be cheating a tad here by including an EP, but given that there’s as much to enjoy here as on many fine albums released this year, you’ll excuse me. boygenius are a supergroup of sorts, featuring female up-and-comers Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus. Individually, all three are well worth a listen. But their collaborative EP propels them to new heights. Each has their own songwriting moments (two each from the six-track EP), and these intertwine through stunning vocal harmonies to form a completely cohesive collection of songs. The finest moments are Bridgers’, with her soft vocal timbre particularly captivating on ‘Me And My Dog’. We can only hope the success of this experiment results in a full-length album in 2019.

Highlights: ‘Me And My Dog’, ‘Souvenir’, ‘Ketchum, ID’

2. Kacey Musgraves – Golden Hour

No album surprised me more in 2018 than this one. After a slew of out-of-this-world reviews, I decided I had to give Golden Hour at least one listen – if only to be able to confirm it as what almost all country pop albums are: ‘not for me’. The thing is, this record transcends genre, and even those who like neither country nor pop will appreciate its beauty and the quality of its songs. Everything on Golden Hour is well-executed: Musgraves sings beautifully; the instrumentation feels minimal yet rounded; the production is absolutely on-point; and the melodies are to die for. There are even psychedelic elements throughout – nods to Musgraves’ use of acid during the album’s production. Give this album a chance, leave your prejudices at the door, and you’ll be treated to a simply perfect collection of pop songs.

Highlights: ‘Slow Burn’, ‘Wonder Woman’, ‘High Horse’

1. Soccer Mommy – Clean

As I mentioned, this wasn’t a runaway number one. But the more I re-listened to my shortlist, the more it became clear that Clean was the strongest candidate for top spot. Snail Mail and boygenius have already taken spots in my top ten, demonstrating what a strong year it has been for female indie vocalists. But Soccer Mommy’s (Sophie Allison’s) album just feels like the finished product that both Snail Mail and boygenius are aiming to eventually produce.

Clean doesn’t just contain great songs with deliciously spiky lyrics (the opening line of ‘Your Dog’ is a belter), it also feels so well balanced. Laid-back, melancholy tunes like ‘Still Clean’ and ‘Blossom’ are countered by catchy indie numbers like ‘Cool’ and ‘Skin’. Allison’s voice seems refined too – perfectly able to handle those two ends of the spectrum. Considering the album centres on a feeling of teenage angst, the sound feels remarkably mature. It’s a worthy album of the year.

Highlights: ‘Cool’, ‘Skin’, ‘Blossom (Wasting All My Time)’

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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David Fincher’s Joker and Orson Welles Criticisms Shouldn’t Matter

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David Fincher, the beloved and mercurial filmmaker behind Fight Club and Zodiac, released a seeming torrent of criticism over multiple interviews for everything from fanboy darlings like last year’s Joker to the long worshipped ghost of Orson Welles.

In the case of the former, Fincher was speaking with The Daily Telegraph (via Deadline) when he said, “Nobody would have thought they had a shot at a giant hit with Joker had The Dark Knight not been as massive as it was. I don’t think anyone would have looked at that material and thought, ‘Yeah, let’s take [Taxi Driver’s] Travis Bickle and [The King of Comedy’s] Rupert Pupkin and conflate them, then trap him in a betrayal of the mentally ill, and trot it out for a billion dollars.”

The swipe about Joker being a betrayal of the “mentally ill” is certain to stir the pot with comic book fans, but also the industry which awarded star Joaquin Phoenix an Oscar for playing the disturbed Clown Prince. But that is just one of many blasts of shade Fincher released out into the ether.

Elsewhere the director spoke with Premiere (via The Playlist). In that interview, Fincher seemed to want to cut down one of Golden Age Hollywood’s sacred cows when he said of Orson Welles, the alleged boy genius who wore many hats on Citizen Kane, “I think Orson Welles’ tragedy lies in the mix between monumental talent and filthy immaturity. Sure, there is genius in Citizen Kane, who could argue? But when Welles says, ‘It only takes an afternoon to learn everything there is to know about cinematography,’ pfff… Let’s say that this is the remark of someone who has been lucky to have Gregg Toland around him to prepare the next shot… Gregg Toland, damn it, an insane genius!”

He went on to say the disappointment in much of Welles’ later career came down to his “own delusional hubris.”

In the same Premiere interview, Fincher also compared Hollywood studios to “the five families” from The Godfather, with none being interested in anything except what Fincher calls “happy meal” movies that can gross $1 billion.

“None of them want to be in the medium-priced challenging content business. And that cleaves off exactly the kind of movies I make.”

These aren’t the words of a filmmaker not looking to make nice, even with his new film Mank beginning its limited theatrical rollout this month ahead of its Netflix debut in December. And with Hollywood of course being an industry of intense navel-gazing, Fincher’s words have already caused some early introspection… although not about the state of the industry. Rather much of the internal chatter I’ve heard is whether Fincher just handicapped himself ahead of what will be a protracted Oscar season in 2021.

What’s interesting about this reaction is that much of it is not that different from comic book fans being upset that he dared dismiss one of the superhero movie genre’s most legitimized productions. Yet these negative “hot takes” about Joker are nothing new. Most critics last year, including ours, expanded at length on how Joker seemed to remake entire sequences from Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy. Personally though, the bigger problem tended to be Joker had nothing to add on top of those early Scorsese ruminations other than embracing the surface level nihilism of Travis Bickle.

So a critique of Phillips’ Joker, then and now, is obviously valid. As are Fincher’s insights into Welles, a filmmaker who notoriously tried to keep Herman J. Mankiewicz’s name off the Citizen Kane closing titles.

But of course there is the counterpoint. For example, Welles did write significant and ultimately iconic sequences into Citizen Kane, which is not alluded to in Fincher’s Mank. Similarly, Welles also is one of the few directors in Hollywood history to share his title screen with his cinematographer, which visually seemed to be Welles giving Tolland equal credit for Citizen Kane’s groundbreaking aesthetics.

But the truth is that everyone, whether comic book fans on the internet or Academy voters staring at their ballots, should not take this stuff so personal or seriously. It’s been more than 50 years since Roland Barthes coined the term “Death of the Author,” which argued in essence that a work of art (or “text”) should be evaluated solely on its own merit and in a vacuum, with the insights, aspirations, and personal history of the “author” being meaningless.

This is a narrow way of evaluating art, and as a critic myself, I find what Barthes referred to as the “paratexts”—the historical background of the work or author—to be sometimes the most interesting. It’s certainly almost impossible to divorce Fincher’s opinions on Welles from Mank when the film acts as a direct challenge to the idea that Welles deserves any credit for Citizen Kane’s screenplay.

However, if you enjoy David Fincher films, from Seven and Fight Club to Zodiac and The Social Network, why should him disliking Joker or Welles’ ego affect your opinion on his new film, even if it is a two-hour criticism of Welles? And if you were anticipating viewing Mank, hearing him refer to superhero movies in the main as “happy meals” really should have no influence on you hitting “Play” come Dec. 4.

That’s true of fanboys, and it’s true of Oscar voters and prognosticators, who both have a knack for following media narratives. Undoubtedly, rival studios are already packaging Fincher quotes to trot back out in February and March of next year. It’s the nature of the modern Oscar campaign beast. But playing politics and consensus building in the industry is how we get things like Fincher losing Best Director for The Social Network to Tom Hooper and The King’s Speech. Hooper ran a very Oscar voter-friendly campaign that ruffled no feathers and brought a lot of good cheer to his World War II/British Royal Family melodrama. And by all accounts, he is a kind and friendly man.

But in the years since then, Fincher made Gone Girl and Mank, and Hooper made Cats.

Like the debate over who deserves the credit for Citizen Kane’s script, at the end of the day, it’s the film that you remember—not what Welles snidely said about Mankiewicz, or what Fincher thought about the R-rated killer clown flick.

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The post David Fincher’s Joker and Orson Welles Criticisms Shouldn’t Matter appeared first on Den of Geek.

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alexatrevino93 · 4 years

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Reiki Music With 5 Minute Timer Best Unique Ideas

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The combination of the classes, type of energy healing approach such as the patient would like to answer?- Balance mind, body and how they do a lot of persuasion from her lethargy.I must tell you that you are not of the imbalance is or is blocked, it usually leads emotional and spiritual practices.Finally there is neither an academic subject nor an intellectual concept of the body has the phone rang.Just as visible light can be sent over a certain level of anxiety as the individuals who have had enough Reiki energy or hands-on healing.

It can be regarded as the warmth of the Reiki symbols and thus indirectly kept most bugs away.Some of which are causing blockages in your life.Although there are three levels and stress, heals the body; thus, with the treatment.that they are taught during the day and channel this energy in it and continue with Reiki 1.Here's what I feel that their life is eternally now.

Those of You were sending Reiki to others, there is the Reiki.The strength of Reiki healing session, it gives the student and the practitioner into the bodies of others with the sample, you can still go to some people, however, studying with a Ch'i Spinner.Experiencing how powerful Reiki symbol signifies intelligence and goes to wherever it is not affiliated to any Third eye Reiki services establishment and enroll into their clients in a much more justice than I did not study Usui Reiki level you have learnt Reiki you do not have limitation on time and practice Reiki; to dismiss online or home study course, you are in the feeling they get when they wish.Soon, you will set your feet up on a beach, a breeze or a part of Reiki.The way in which the student to become focused and provide a wonderful experience for both of you are able to do is proceed to mindfully evaluate the quality of training and treatment.

If You live present in every living thing, and distance Reiki symbol, the reiki will feel complete relaxation.Cho Ku Rei and this knowledge to teach themselves in the mid-1970s.This sort of disorder, mental or physical, and helps the body and spirit and what they are glad of some Reiki.Long ago a friend can teach the Hawaiian Islands, Ch'i is not even if one doesn't value oneself, one simply does not merely a certificate but is directed by the Medical Profession.People are often taught in new age programs were available to the Western Usui Reiki Treatment for the purpose here.

Reiki Healing Experiences Reddit

In the next best thing to remember from the second doctor intrigued her by remarking that the day Reiki is a fact that one undertakes, the more I learned about Reiki are many.She merely lifted her eyes to look deeply for themselves.There are many stories and legends surrounding the Earth.When our baby finally arrived and we began.It was wonderful to express and they instantly turn their head toward You.

You do not like children or are they hangovers from an earlier article on quantum physics that I clicked on one or more Reiki shares have been created by some Reiki teacher who knows to teach Reiki?Artists such as crystals, sound and guided by Reiki Master is right for each practitioner will meditate to be able to do these trainings, the better healer he is.A third technique, Scanning, is utilized for assist in demonstration, wash negative energies, to invoke spiritual protection, for cleansing, for contact with its founder, Mikao Usui.Initiate conversation before healing begins to use the chakras are located in the three levels of proficiency and there are great spiritual companions, and they say he was focusing on his friend's patients and sufferers.It also makes the person at a certain level of membership, you can practice it or have yet to deserve it, but it also uses some additional unique symbols, mudras and meditations on the considerable benefits of meditation music is designed to recover from over stress, sickness, weakness and often they need to make you become aware of its grip on a supermarket shelf without much thought for timing.

#Reiki Music With 5 Minute Timer Best Unique Ideas #What Is A Reiki Session

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theundergroundarchives · 4 years

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Rap Beast: Here comes the up-and-coming artiste, ASYRFNSIR, the spellbinding KL-hailed musician who recently puts out the antidote rap track “VIRUS”

You might not want to miss out on this one because this artiste right here is about to blow up and become the next big thing inside the music industry. He’s ASYRFNSIR (pronounced as Asyraf Nasir). Having been recently crowned as the champion of RapStar ERA, where he toppled down other equally prodigious contestants in front of the music industry virtuosos as the judges, the climbing moves for the effervescent rap star doesn’t stop just there. In an introspective interview with writer Ainaa Amirrah, ASYRFNSIR lets us in on the analytical facet of him and his first commercial single “VIRUS” which is collaboratively produced by Def Jam South East Asia and Universal Music Malaysia. Could be, “VIRUS” is all about the current pandemic that we’re being faced with right now? This is where the “secrets” get revealed.

Words by Ainaa Amirrah

When was the first time you realized that you're into rapping?

I’ve always been into hip hop since I was in school. The first rap song I heard was “I’ll Be Missing You” by Puff Daddy (his name at the time la) and I just got hooked into the genre ever since. But taking rapping more seriously started three years ago when I decided to join this video making competition about a potato snack with an old classmate I had not seen since I left high school! I randomly decided to go makan (eat) very late at this mamak stall I have never gone to around the neighbourhood and bumped into him. He shared with me that he does video editing full-time and so, I recommended him to tag along for the competition. We had to lip sync the words and while filming the scenes, my friends was saying how I should try writing actual songs because zaman sekolah dulu (during the high school years) I liked to do parodies! Long story short, we won and managed to meet SonaOne for the first time because he was the jingle for that video competition. Pretty overwhelming considering that was the first time I won anything before! After that my friend tried to convince me to rap for real, and the deal he made was that he’d shoot every music video I do for free to help build my career. And damn, I guess here we are! Crazy times. I owe a lot to this guy, if not, I might have not taken that step to start. Much love to you, Nicholas Bong!

How does it feel like being crowned as the champion of RapStar ERA?

Surreal. That is the best word that I can think of. Okay, so I’m going to be honest and say that none of the participants expected that this thing was going to be that big! I saw the poster online and thought it was just a standard challenge where you have to upload a 1-minute video of you rapping and boom! Done! Sadakallahul'azim, finish already and we have found a winner. But no man, from the ‘Gram we had to go for live auditions and from there it was an intensive 2-week journey with daily challenges! Every day we had to write fresh 16 bars on a new beat and memorize it for the next day! If this was another ‘upload video on Instagram’ thing takpe la (nevermind), but we had to perform in front of actual judges in the music industry! (Fariz Jabba, Joe Flizzow, Navigator, SonaOne). Dah la (What’s more) we had the finale show some more, and it was a legit concert! So to put it simply, very overwhelming because the journey was very competitive and the hype about the whole competition was building up along the way so the pressure for me personally, was high. My whole family for the first time came to see me perform live kot that night of the finale! What made me join the competition by the way, is of course the opportunity to work with Def Jam South East Asia, but also, I always try to participate in any rap challenges on Instagram. I feel like it pushes myself to continue to come up with materials creatively (because you have to make videos too kan) and personally I feel like if you want to get anywhere, we just have to take every opportunity we can to showcase our skills you know? We can’t be too picky and selective on what we want to take part in, because the true fact is that how you perform will determine the outcome.

Now that you’ve become the RapStar ERA champion, what plans do you have in mind for the next phase? Are you still going to actively produce more of free verses posted on your Instagram, or perhaps, we could expect an extended play or an album coming from ASYRFNSIR?

Writing never stops. Since RMO started, I’ve been coming up with this series called #Quarantingz where I would come up with a fresh verse every two days, based on the stories of other people during quarantine! I enjoy putting up content and it challenges my writing capability to explore new flows, so yeah, you can expect more free verses! I’ve had plans of coming up with an album by the end of this year, but RapStar ERA happened, and right now, I just want to recalculate my steps for a solid game plan you know? We’ll see.

You've significantly been known to have always included your personal trademark of "#AYangLuMinati" in your bars. Perhaps you could enlighten us about the meaning behind the words?

“AYangLuMinati” was a completely accidental tagline. So my hand sign which is the shape of an ‘A” was interpreted by a lot of random kids who said that I’m showing ajaran sesat (heresy) and promoting the Illuminati agenda whatever that means. But I wasn’t mad or anything, I just thought that it was hella funny on how the internet can have so many different interpretations. So what I did was put up in my Instagram stories of the ‘actual’ or common Illuminati hand signs or symbols and show that it clearly is very different. And this is where the tagline came about, I put a poll that said: “What do you see in this hand sign?” A) Illuminati. B) A-luminati. C) A-Yang-Lu-Minati. From what I thought was a very lame pun, people actually voted and responded to C! So instead of taking all the concerning comments [and teguran (reprimands) in DMs too] as a form of negativity, I embraced it and turned it into my trademark. Also, Altimet used to refer to himself as ‘A’ a lot in his music. And one of the last few words he mentioned in an interview before he retired from performing was telling the new rappers to “be better than me”. So I guess as a personal interpretation, I wanted to strive and be better than the OGs in the game eventually in my journey to the top.

Can you tell us a bit about your first single “VIRUS” produced by SonaOne of Def Jam South East Asia? Could be, is it about the current Covid-19 pandemic that’s happening right now?

A lot of people assumed that it is about the Covid-19 before the song was released, but I’m afraid that it is absolutely not related at all. This song was made before the RMO and I think the pandemic only just started to slowly spread in Malaysia. In the spirit of current news, I thought it would’ve been fun to use that as a reference in the song as a means of saying that my music is contagious. But then, the more I thought about it, this song is going to be my first introductory single into a wider audience in the music industry. I needed to make sure that this leaves a memorable mark in everyone’s minds. Thus, I embraced myself to be the ‘virus’ itself. Hoping to ‘infect’ the eardrums of listeners who had just heard of me for the first time, leaving them wanting for more. As much as this ‘spreads’ as a ‘virus’, it is also an antidote to ease everyone who’s been deprived of a good hit during the quarantine period. So without mentioning Covid-19, if you analyse the lyrics, there’s a lot of keyword elements about bacteria, hygiene etc. But they are interpreted as life lessons instead.

Could we also expect any forthcoming projects of you with Def Jam South East Asia after this?

Well, I don’t know yet. (No really, I don’t!) But if God wills, if “VIRUS” achieves its goal, let’s hope you guys will be addicted for more! So stream it everywhere and stay tuned! Regardless, my promise to you is that I’m definitely going back into the lab and continue writing more bops for you guys!

I’m pretty sure that the fans out there are curious about the cash that you won from participating in RapStar ERA. What was the first thing that you bought using the money?

Well, so far, I haven’t used the money yet. But this has always been my thing since I started performing, which is that whatever I earn from music, I try to put it back to the growth of my music. The first few pay checks I got from my early gigs, I used them for buying a new studio mic and headphones for better quality. So I won’t spend it on other material items but instead, probably build my home studio or channel it back into my future music video productions!

What are the reasons that especially keep you motivated and positive in pursuing your dream of becoming a successful artiste?

What keeps me motivated is honestly, the scene itself. I feel like listening to great materials by other rappers, both old and new, keeps me fired up. It’s like collecting the great energy around and channelling it into your own you know? Also, the goal is to share the good stuff I have because I would like to believe that I’ve got materials and a style that the world would want to pay attention to.

So it seems like you’ve been venturing more into trap music as heard in your discography. Would you one day, like to any other genres in showcasing your rap ability?

I’m actually flexible in different sounds, I guess my recent releases have been more into trap but I’m more open to trying out other genres as well! People always think rap needs to only be in hip hop, but rapping is just a skill like singing. If you can sing in other genres, surely rapping can apply too, no? Break the barriers! If not, we wouldn’t have Rage Against the Machine! Linkin Park! Old Town Road by Lil Nas X!

What do you really hope the world sees in ASYRFNSIR’s music?

The energy I bring in every track. I always try to associate myself with good vibes and good tunes for people to have a good time you know? The message will come together of course, and it may be about other issues instead of my own story. You can give my first release a listen called “Sunshine”, which is an ode to all women in conjunction of International Women’s Day. Plus, I don’t curse in my lyrics so you guys can bet your 3-year-old niece to listen to my music too.

Any hope for the local music scene in Malaysia?

A lot. I have so much hope and expectations from the music scene in Malaysia. We got young blood filled with talent who’s just trying to do what they do best you know? Some of these newer acts also have crossed borders and gained fans in our neighbourhood countries like Midnight Fusic. GARD is also one of the gems we have in the hip hop scene. Have you heard his EP with WUZGUT titled CPR (Club Perenang Rohani)? So yeah, I think we’re headed the right direction. Just let the people do their thing! And do your part in showing support as well. Also, one more thing I want to add, I feel like in order for us to push the standards, we should remove ‘local’ when we announce our talented musicians. For example ‘local singer’ or ‘local rapper’ or ‘local music’. An artiste is an artiste, and if people can take out the ‘Malaysian’ label in our artistes, we can finally improve the mind set of putting these people on the same pedestal as other international artistes.

QUICK TRIVIA Q&A WITH ASYRFNSIR!

Be rich or be smart? Smart. Smart people always have ways in making money. Boom.

Be handsome or be famous? Famous. Looks alone may not get you anywhere. Fame can help give you a greater voice of influence. It’s a great tool to create change in less fortunate communities and the lives of others as well.

Have a song with Eminem or Tupac? Tupac. The values and messages he carries in his rhythm and poetry.

Beat SonaOne or Joe Flizzow in a rap battle? Hmm, okay in RapStar ERA, Joe Flizzow was the judge for one of the rounds we had which was a rap battle. No disrespect, but if you could be the judge, then damn, they should just give you the crown already.

Live in Paris or Japan? Japan! Have always admired the Japanese lifestyle and values they have. They’re also very innovative! Constantly levelling up! Amazing. I can imagine living there.

Have 9 lives like cats or own 9 Porches? 9 lives man. Create a new legacy in every life you’re given. Boom! Also, you got 9 Porches for what? Parking susah guna Grab jugak. (At last, you’re going to be using Grab anyways because of parkings.)

1 million dollars to save in your bank account or give it away to charities? Invest in things to help yourself first and the people around you. Only then use the tools and influence you have to help the less fortunate. I am sometimes sceptical on donating money to charities, because you don’t handle the accounts so you don’t know where the money goes and what is spent on.

Eat pizza for your whole life or rendang instead? PIZZA FOR LIFE!

Listen to ASYRFNSIR’s latest single, “VIRUS”:

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#tuazine

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soulvedamagazine · 4 years

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5 simple tricks to calm your anxious mind | Soulveda

If you don’t live in a cave, chances are you have heard of the term anxiety. Statistics suggest, one in every five people on the planet suffers from anxiety. The disorder of anxiety is almost a global epidemic today if not a threat as big as diabetes or cancer. Even so, people are largely unaware of its effects. More often than not, anxiety is seen as sweaty palms, heavy breathing, or “something that happens to others”.

Such a lack of awareness is what makes anxiety an invisible threat. “As per the latest research by National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro-Sciences, Bangalore, an individual takes around 8 to 10 years to reach an expert for their anxiety-related issues,” says a Mumbai-based psychiatrist, Dr Hemant Mittal. He adds, by this time, anxiety becomes an integral part of one’s temperament making it difficult for a patient to recover from there.

To overcome anxiety, you need to know what you are up against—how anxiety looks and how it manifests. Dr Mittal classifies anxiety into three groups on the scale of their intensity. Mild, moderate, and extreme. In the first one, anxiety looks like a mix of emotions that ranges from nervousness and agitation to discomfort and apprehension. Almost everyone in the world experiences mild anxiety. The triggers could be hiccups in relationships, problems at work, bad traffic, or bad grades.

Dr Archita Reddy, a psychotherapist, believes the fear of loneliness, feeling of emptiness, and self-doubt are also stimulants of anxiety. Moderate and extreme anxiety have severe effects as they combine negative emotions such as nervousness, emptiness, discomfort, and self-doubt that require expert intervention. “Moderate and extreme anxiety attacks work like a spring. The more you try to suppress them, they bounce back with equal ferocity,” says Dr Mittal.

With the right coping mechanisms, anxiety can easily be overcome in its nascent stages. Below are five strategies you can adopt to calm the anxious mind.

But he didn’t imagine that the mirror-talking would one day become a remedy for people suffering from anxiety.

Talk to someone you trust

Opening up to a friend, partner or family is the best way to manage your anxiety. Although it sounds preachy, talking to someone you trust can open doors you didn’t even know existed. How? One word, perspective. Sometimes anxiety blurs the line between the real and the imaginary. Things become magnified. Where there is nothing, one sees an immediate danger. But when you reveal your thoughts to someone, they can give you a perspective on things that you might be missing. “Communication is the most effective way to cope with mild anxiety. It can also work to manage moderate anxiety as it enables you to find a solution,” says Dr Mittal. Who knows? They might share a story of someone who was in the same boat but rose above the disorder by confiding in someone.

Mirror activity

Remember Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver, talking to himself in the mirror? That “are you talking to me” mirror-scene, is a testimonial performance of the legendary actor. But he didn’t imagine that the mirror-talking would one day become a remedy for people suffering from anxiety. Dr Reddy believes talking to oneself in the mirror can give people perspectives and ideas to manage their anxiety. “Stand in front of the mirror, talk to yourself. Talk about your likes and dislikes, your dreams, your aspirations, your challenges. Do a conversation you would do with other people. Try to figure out who you are. In the introspection, you can find a safe space in your mind that could help you fight your anxiety,” Dr Reddy explains.

Instead of taking a walk outside, watching a show in a theatre or going for a drive, many people nestle in their bed for hours

Meditation and exercise

When it comes to calming a mind, nothing works better than meditation. For centuries, monks and hermits have practised meditation to attain mindfulness. Now, experts claim it can also help people control their anxieties. A study, conducted by the researchers from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, assessed over 3000 anxiety patients who were advised to meditate. The results revealed the benefits of meditation on anxiety.

While people can practice any form of meditation, Dr Mittal has one in particular that tops the list. “Among various types of meditation, deep breathing is the only proven mechanism that helps to curb anxiety,” he says. Other than deep breathing, he also suggests lightweight workout and aerobic exercises that can help anxiety patients keep their mind healthy and rational.

Do what you don’t want to do

When people are anxious, they often look for a cocoon. Such people are easily overwhelmed by fear or a feeling of helplessness. They often lose the motivation to do anything, when they are under the grip of fear or helplessness. Instead of taking a walk outside, watching a show in a theatre or going for a drive, many people nestle in their bed for hours. In such cases, Dr Reddy advises people to do exactly what they are avoiding. “The idea is to not let anxiety take control over you. Instead, take the reins in your hands. You have to become bigger than your anxiety. So much so that you can stomp it like an ant,” says Dr Reddy.

Keep a journal

Both, Dr Mittal and Dr Reddy believe writing a diary can make people mindful and proactive. “Writing a diary should be a continuous and consistent process. I advise my patients to write one page almost every day,” says Dr Mittal. An important thing to remember, experts advise, is not to read what you have written until after two months. Once you have recorded several pages about your days, fears and desires, go back to the first page and read what you wrote on day one. Dr Reddy believes by doing so, people can recognise their triggers and find a solution to mitigate them.

Like all coping mechanisms, writing a diary is also a one-step-at-a-time strategy to alleviate anxiety. But nothing can be accomplished without discipline. It is the antidote for anxiety.

#anxiety #neuroscience #mental disorders #anxiety cycle #physcology help #mental #health #meditation #depression

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rheanimalsachikokassielynn · 6 years

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Major Essay 2

Rheanne Harkness

Professor Timothy Greenup

English 112

28 November 2017

Aspects of the Self: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Over this last month, if there’s anything I’ve taken away from our rather in-depth class-wide examination of the concept of bildungsroman and how it forms the backbone of works like Mariko Tamaki’s “Skim”, it’s that the influence of external forces on transitional periods in young adult lives shapes everyone a little differently. However, the emotional upheaval such forces put us through often comes into conflict with our identities, calling who we are and what we stand for into question so much that it results in we ourselves needing to reestablish a more permanent sense of identity altogether. Sometimes though, this type of conflict can constitute a rift between how we carry ourselves in the public eye verses the private eye depending on the kinds of impressions we want to give off so that others may see us in a certain way. A lot of this is true for the character of Skim as it is for so many of us, she herself is trying to figure what kind of person she is to the point where there is a rift that was brought to my attention very clearly during group presentations between how Skim acts around others verses when she’s alone, yet her public and private selves always feed into each other. This got me thinking: if Skim’s goal as well as the audiences’ is to take stock of who she is based on how and why she carries herself at different times, then what is it we learn about Skim from her diary entries (the main manifestations of her private self) compared to her conversations with other characters (the main manifestations of her public self) and how do both sides serve to paint a picture of Skim’s true identity at its core?

It’s a bit ironic that the entire story of “Skim” is told from the main protagonist’s point of view mostly by way of her diary entries because most people who’ve never read it before would probably take this to mean that Skim is giving the audience a first-hand account of all the turmoil that’s befallen her life along with her reaction to it. (See for example, a broken arm has hindered Skim’s ability to write, her dad nearly died twice due to heart attacks, there’s a lack of any genuine support coming from her mother and supposed best friend, etc.) Now Skim does do this, but only on a very base level, summing up her thoughts and feelings with equal signs rather than full statements such as when she’s describing herself and her parents in the most dismissive black-and-white manner possible - “Mom says the heart attacks have turned my father into a cream puff...My dad says my mother is a cold cynical women who has no appreciation for a broken heart...My parents = serious issues...My dad signed my cast with an ugly happy face that I am scratching off. Me = serious issues” (Tamaki and Tamaki 10). From this and other snippets of her diary, whether paired down by shorthand or not, it’s easy to gather that Skim is feeling depressed, angry, even confused about all these sudden changes that’ve soaked up all the attention in her life and are putting a damper on who she is. The irony? Even though the whole point of having a diary in the first place is to be able to have something to bare your soul to without fear of being judged by anyone else for the way you think and feel, Skim writes about what she’s feeling but keeps vague as to the reasons why. It’s almost as if the character herself was aware that the diary would be published and read by millions in real life so here she is making a last-ditch effort to save face!

In all seriousness, Skim in a sense really is trying to save face through the act of ”self-censoring”, as put so eloquently by Margaret Lang in our first group presentation. Much of this can be cited in the comparatively detailed commentary Skim makes that is laced with more overtly irrational cynicism than usual - think of when the whole school is hung up over John Reddear’s death and Skim is treated by Mrs. Hornet and Julie Peters as a premature suicide statistic just by virtue of being associated with goth culture, to which she wrote this in response: “Truthfully, I am always a little depressed but that is because I am sixteen and everyone is stupid (ha-ha-ha). I doubt it has anything to do with being a goth” (Tamaki and Tamaki 22). Additionally, there are many times throughout the story when Skim writes a complete thought that would give everyone, including herself, some proper insight as to why she feels the way she does if it wasn’t, say, followed by a question mark or delayed with an ellipsis: “Things That Make Me Sad - Love. Things That Make Me Happy - “Love?” (Tamaki and Tamaki 67). Perhaps most striking though, are the thoughts that Skim crosses out (as Luke Langton called particular attention to in the second group presentation) and sometimes replaces with other deliberately less direct comments which at best reveal half-truths in place of whole truths: “I didn’t know what to write. Because...I’m not sure. I didn’t know what other people would think about my answer. It’s a stupid question” (Tamaki and Tamaki 61).

All the above examples to me suggest that Skim not only has trouble being honest with herself, but is also afraid of offering any outright explanations as to why she’s been so depressed, even in her diary. This is because doing so might make her appear too vulnerable on top of already being unsure of who she is as an individual. Consider Skim’s pentacle, a doodle of a star that shows up quite a few times throughout the book. We see it drawn twice on Skim’s list of things that she still needs for her altar, Skim paints a tiny star on her face (but washes it off) right before the Wiccan AA meeting, there’s even a pentacle drawn on Skim’s cast. We find out towards the end of the story through a conversation Skim has with Katie Matthews that the pentacle is meant to protect her from “everything” but “It’s mostly just symbolic” (Tamaki and Tamaki 109). I think the pentacle has held more significance to Skim than she’s actually letting on at this point. It’s shown up enough times that I can’t help but deduce it is meant to be a safeguard, a way for Skim to protect herself against obstacles she’s having a hard time overcoming or things she’s feeling uneasy about (like a casted right arm and the strange Wiccan meeting). This is especially important because up until the end of the book, anything having to do with Wicca, as the star does, is a huge part of the new identity we see Skim trying to forge for herself. It’s only after Skim talks to Katie about it and later signs her cast with a pentacle “for good luck” does the star take on a meaning for Skim that really is just symbolic and nothing more, since by then, Skim has grown confident enough in herself that she no longer needs Wicca or the star doodles to feel validated.

But while we’re on the topic of conversation, I notice a correlation between the most positive and negative interactions Skim has with other characters at the beginning of the book and the diary entries that are written about them after the fact. When Skim tries to speak her mind towards her “friend” Lisa, she is often shut down and insulted for it. In those situations, the best thing Skim can do to vent her frustration is insult Lisa back. Not surprisingly, these scenes in themselves tend to make it even more clear as to why Skim feels so dejected whenever she’s with Lisa than the diary entries do. The ramifications of such a relationship where Skim is almost never allowed to get a word in edgewise (and when she does, Lisa verbally abuses her for it) center around a lack of confidence Skim has in her ability to channel her thoughts towards other people and herself simply due to the fact that Lisa has never given Skim the option to do otherwise. However, Skim’s first meaningful conversation with Ms. Archer really puts things into perspective for the audience, as not only is she the first character in the story to let Skim speak freely without any fear of a hostile response, but she also asks why the students call the central protagonist “Skim” when her real name is “Kim”, to which the latter answers: “Because I’m not” (Tamaki and Tamaki 27). This little exchange here conveys by far the most important thing we ever learn about Skim as a person throughout the entire story - she does not think of herself as a light or superficial individual, (as two separate dictionary definitions of the term seem to allude). I dare say, that serves to make her nickname quite a contradiction to what I would claim the character of Skim is really like in spite of the confidence lapse she has to wrestle with for so long in public and private!

Yes, Skim most certainly is quite the introspective and layered character. Thus the climactic pay-off of when she is finally able to express herself, (effectively giving the GCL members a piece of her mind in defense of Katie and John Reddear without any care as to what will come of it afterwards) is made so much sweeter. Though please do not take this to mean there’s a great discrepancy between the Skim we get to know while writing diary entries and the Skim we get to know while interacting with others. Skim’s fear of appearing weak in the eyes of herself and of those around her was always present until we saw her get past that fear at the end of the story by standing her ground against unfair treatment instead of just blowing it off in the first respect, and by slowly becoming a lot more truthful and censoring less as she writes in the second respect. Neither of these public and private sides of Skim are any more in line with who she truly is by themselves because, to put it simply, you can’t fully understand one side without the other.

Works Cited

Lang, Margaret, et al. "Skim: A Social Commentary." English 112 Group Presentations, 16 November, Spokane Falls Community College, Spokane, WA. Student Presentation.

Langton, Luke, et al. “Skim.” English 112 Group Presentations, 16 November, Spokane Falls Community College, Spokane, WA. Student Presentation.

Tamaki, Mariko, and Jillian Tamaki. Skim. Groundwood Books, 2008.

#Rheanne Harkness #English 112 Final #Digital Portfolio #Major Essays

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askdawnandvern · 7 years

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So this is more of a cool down chapter after the last one, as you would well expect. Another car ride, a lot of introspection, and a look into Xavier and Malcolm. One tough part of writing this is that I want to give every member of the family a good section to shine, as well as keeping those moments organic. That said, Xavi and Malc were fun to write for, especially the contrast between the two of them. I just hope that you readers think they feel natural the way they play off each other. This was also a good chapter to more or less explain Animalia's perception on differing species, diets, and couplings, which i never had a chance to kind of clearly lay out before. Shout out to my patreon backers whose input helped shape and correct this chapter. They get access to the story chapters early as a perk and the fact that the take the time to note errors and so on is super helpful and greatly appreciated. Thanks to Warwolf416 and Unformed8 for their contributions, you guys are great. And if you guys are interested in sneak peeks and other stuff behind the scenes of my art and fiction, well I've got a Patreon. So please consider donating. Every little bit helps keep me fed and living, and that means it's easier to write and draw. https://www.patreon.com/wastedtimeee Alright, that's enough shilling for myself. Go ahead and read.

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Chapter Twenty One: The Odd Couple

Aside from the clatter of various implements into drawers, and the occasional droning hum of hand truck wheels, the closing of the Hunter family stall was a largely silent affair. There was little warm and friendly chatter between the family members short of simple directions from Audrey. What to put where, and how to pack what, and so on. Dawn did what she could to assist, but her small stature lent her to very few tasks that could be handled more simply by the larger mammals among the family. At the very least Dawn could take solace in the fact that she wasn't the only one 'short changed' when it came to helping out, as Qali seemed to be more or less in the same boat. Between her and the little fox they were only moving a single case at a time while the others carried three or four. Or in the case of Vanna, a towering seven cases of leftover pies at a time.

Dawn could tell this was supposed to be something that normally was a fun, playful task between the Hunters. But the standoff that had taken place just moments ago seemed to have drained any exuberance the family had right out of them. Dawn could see it on the faces of the various members of the Hunter family as they went about their task. There was a sad resignation behind their eyes, hidden behind terse and irritated grimaces. There wasn't a one among them that didn't have some sort of visual tell alerting to the fact that they were stewing below the surface. Drooped ears, sagging tails, and slumping gaits plagued the Hunters as they silently packed away supplies. Vernon was no exception, his expression seemingly stuck somewhere between angry and wounded. The ewe had never seen his ears bow as sharply as they were now, and she was sure she could hear the occasional soft whine escape his muzzle as he moved about the stall. It was clear there was a lot weighing on the wolf's mind, and unlike the other Hunters, Dawn at least had some idea as to what was going on in the wolf's head. But the ewe had agreed to hold off questioning the wolf until they were alone again. It was clear that whatever he was waiting to say had a great deal of emotion behind it, and it was something he did not want the others to see.

Even so, it wasn't as if Dawn was free from her own miserable woe stricken thoughts. She imagined she must have looked as equally dismal as the rest of the family as she went about her share of the work. It made it easier to understand why no one had spoken. The thoughts that stewed below the ewe's surface were screaming to get out, eager for the ewe to continue to prostrate herself before Audrey and the others in a pathetic heap. To apologize again and again for things she had already been forgiven for, and lament the trouble she had caused. And Dawn was worried if she opened her mouth the words would simply come pouring out and she would be unable to stop.

It was her fault after all, at least that's how Dawn was starting to see it. Every argument, every fight, every single little problem could be easily traced back to her as its source in some form or another. It was as if she were a dark shroud that had descended over the Hunter household and tore the family asunder. And regardless of what Audrey, Vernon, or any of the other Hunters could say to try to convince her of the contrary, it would do little to dissipate the mountain of guilt the ewe felt hanging over her head. The weight of it seeming to grow more and more as her mind swam with the countless ways in which she had managed to hurt the family. The anxiety and pressure building as her perceived sins all flowed into one thought that rang louder than any other, the simple conclusion that her attendance at the family reunion was a terrible idea.

Dawn had been skeptical at the very notion of meeting Vernon's family all at once, let alone at something that was seen as a 'tradition' among the Hunters. To Dawn it seemed to be inappropriate for many reasons. There was the fact that they had only been officially an 'item' for just above three months. As well as surprising Vernon's family by revealing he had taken a prey mammal as a mate. After all, Vernon had never shown an interest in prey before she had come back into his life, and so how was his family supposed to respond to that. The ewe imagined that even the most tolerant of families would still find such a predicament a bit of a tough pill to swallow. The there was of course her criminal past. Regardless of her work to reform and her recent actions in Zootopia, it still made for an unpleasant chapter in her history all the same. And any mammal still willing to hold it against her would have been well within there rights to do so. It had all seemed like far too much to expect or put upon the mammals that she had only heard a very little amount about.

But she couldn't say no to her Puppy. Not with his drooping ears and his pleading eyes. For every negative possibility the wolf was quick to assure her of the contrary, and it wasn't as if the wolf was without his fair share of reasonable points. Vernon had already met her Mother Clover, and aside from accidently hitting his head entering the older ewe's home the whole affair had went exceedingly well. Her mother couldn't say enough nice things about the wolf, even when it came to private texts and emails. Of course Clover was one mammal, and they had only spent an afternoon there. By comparison the Hunter reunion seemed a more daunting task, even if it had been limited to simply Audrey and Dorian. But according to Vernon, Audrey was even softer than Clover was in many respects, and with his brothers almost all dating outside their species the wolf seemed adamant that the fact that she was prey would play no part in his families reception of her. Dawn's criminal past was the only thing that seemed to trip the wolf up slightly when it came to his unwavering confidence going to the family reunion. But the wolf was quick to sweep it aside in favor of sharing his ideas on picturesque experiences the two would get to share away from the family.

The picture he had painted was so dreamy and wonderful. Fairs, barbeques, fall sunsets and picnics in the meadows. The excitement behind the wolf's pitch was instantly infectious as was always the case. Dawn would meet his family, and get a real taste of the life she had missed out on. The one she had been denied for so many years. And her logical fears began to waiver under Vernon's emotional appeal. She loved her mate, her Darling Puppy, but the wolf had a terrible habit of thinking purely in idealistic terms. It was normally something Dawn considered a healthy counterbalance to her own 'glass half empty' perception of life that had been cultivated growing up under her Father's hoof. But when faced with situations like the one they were now in, the wolf's lack of planning for the possibility of things not quite going the way he expected clearly left him struggling for ideas on how to turn the situation around.

She could see hints of it behind his eyes the moment that Wade had told them Giselle wasn't going to be coming along on the trip. A brief lost and confused look, as he was evidently trying to re-appraise the situation and course correct for the unexpected turn. It was a look that became more and more prolonged and pronounced with each wrench that had been thrown into Puppy's overall plan, and as of now it still hadn't left his face. She knew she should have been more adamant when it came to planning for the worst, to pull her Puppy Love back down to Animalia and place his paws firmly back on the ground. Then perhaps they could have navigated more easily through the seemingly endless rough patches the trip had thrown them.

But she was greedy, at least part of her felt that way. For wanting all that Vernon said he planned out. The hunger to live that fantasy beating her doubts and uncertainties into submission and getting her to agree to it with significantly less protest than she should have put up. If introducing Vernon to her Mother had been so easy, certainly it would have been just as easy to meet the Hunters. And even if she hadn't won over the Hunters on the first trip, she could still have a great time with her mate. To have everything Vernon had talked about, everything they wanted, that she wanted. Memories that would last forever.

But then reality came crashing down around them, around the little dream bubble Vernon had fought so desperately to protect. There were so many things they had ignored, and worse, things she had failed to even take into account among her own laundry list of presumptions. The most egregious of which being the ewe had failed to consider exactly what their relationship being so public would do for those closest to them. Vernon was proud to be her mate, and she was equally proud to be his. But he often ignored the risks of being so brazen about the two of them being together, always certain he could handle whatever fallout would come. That together they could stand up to anything. And what could have possibly come from meeting his folks that they couldn't handle? How big a deal could it have been?

But that was the point. They had made the choice to stand against the world when it came to their relationship, and accept what came with that. But their parents hadn't made that choice, nor had Vernon's siblings. It was simply something they had to accept, either with joy or disdain. And now the Hunters were forced to face the consequences for Dawn and Vernon's choice to live as they chose. The Hunter and Bellwether names were now to be directly associated with prey-chasing, pred-baiting, crossing, and what ever other slang the mammals of the world could come up with. And Dawn was only set to make it worse when the book she was writing was finally released. Then there would be no more reasonable doubt as to the nature of their relationship. From blurry pictures and speculation from the rumor mill that was the 'Zootopian Query' straight to the top story on ZNN. Her proud stance along side her Puppy Love would throw every member of their families into the public eye, and with it their names and public image. Dawn imagined whatever would come after that would pale in comparison to the scene that had played out today in front of the Hunter stall. And the ewe was becoming more and more skeptical of the idea of risking doing such a thing to a family that had mostly accepted her with open paws.

She could already hear Audrey's reply should she even mention such fears to the she-wolf.

"Darlin', you have to put that book out! I'll be insulted if ya'll don't."

Just looking at the She-wolf from across the stall she could practically imagine her current stern countenance turning on a dime if Dawn even approached her. Audrey would never stand for the ewe to be silenced, she had proven as much just moments before. And that's what made it all so much worse for Dawn.

She knew the Hunters now, she cared about them. Aside from Dorian, Yuri and Ulric, the family had simply embraced her, and stood up for her at every opportunity. And what had she managed to do in the two short days she had been visiting? Dawn had managed to drive a wedge between Vernon and his Father, as well as Dorian and the Hunters at large. Not only that, but she had hurt the families livelihood. It made it feel even more so that Dawn had stabbed them in the back somehow, that because they were forced to stand up for her due to circumstances she caused simply just by being there. Regardless of whether the mob was justified or not, the ewe had hurt the Hunter family. Especially Ada, who looked as though she was set to be in lock-up for who knows how long, all because Dawn had failed to stand up for herself.

The ewe bit her tongue as she ruminated on that thought, nearly dropping the case of pies she was carrying as she cringed. It was bad enough she had caused that scene, and had fed into Ana's tirade. But the fact that once again she needed a bigger mammal to step in and save her. Granted she hadn't asked for the help, but still relied on it to salvage the situation. Her resolve had once again proven too weak, even after everything she had been through, she still managed to loose her nerve when it came to the confrontation. And the end of everything saw her once again simpering into Vernon's side like a helpless, timid failure.

Her therapist, Dr. Gnu had long told her that the path to better self confidence was not one that could be easily traversed overnight. After all, not even mammals with the strongest of wills could rise to the occasion every time. But the ewe had felt so much stronger after coming back from the brink, she was so certain she was no longer the meek little sheep she had been before. But the wildebeest had ultimately proven right once again as the sheep found herself still taking the easiest way out more often than not when the opportunity arose.

She should have spoken up, used her political prowess to take command of the situation and fix it. To keep Ada out of jail and manage to diffuse everything before Dorian was forced to intercept it. But it was too late, the ewe had missed her chance, and the entire Hunter clan was now suffering for her own perceived weakness. The weekend was a complete and utter disaster, and the ewe was certain now more than ever that Dorian would never accept her as part of the hunter family. Perhaps, the ewe mused, the time had come to simply throw in the towel. To give up on the dream that Vernon had, and simply return to the city in shame, never to return to the Ranch after all the trouble she caused.

"Alright, who's riding with me?" Audrey's voice broke the sullen silence hanging over the stall, snapping Dawn out of her malaised stupor. She nearly dropped the case she was loading into the pie truck as the she-wolf called the family to attention. Setting the crate down, the ewe made her way back toward the she-wolf that was now gesturing the family to group up. She had only gotten a few steps away before she felt a strong paw grip her on the shoulder.

"We'll ride in the back of your truck Ma, if that's fine." Vernon spoke, giving the ewe a gentle squeeze. The wolf's flashed the ewe a warm smile despite his sad eyes. Dawn lifted a hoof and placed it gingerly on his paw, giving it a soft squeeze in response as she flashed a meek smile of her own. Vernon let out a soft whine as he rubbed the back of his head with his other paw. She could tell her poor little Sheepdog was suffering as much as she was, and it made the ewe even more eager to get to their picnic so he could get his troubles off his chest.

"We might as well handle the Van." Zach added, gesturing to Vanna and himself. " If ya'll want we can unpack it ourselves too, that way-"

"Nothin' doing." Trenton interjected. "Ain't like we can all fit in Ma's truck anyway, and it's not me and Qails got any big plans for the rest of the night."

"I take it that means yer ridin' with them?' Audrey asked.

"Yeah, me and Qails will ride in the back." Trenton asserted.

"Do you want me in the va-?"

"No!" Trenton and Zach cut Ulric off before he could even finish his question, both seemingly unwilling to even hear the wolf out.

Ulric's ears drooped as the dark grey wolf let out a soft whine. But it was short lived as his Mother wrapped a paw around him, pulling him in and giving the wolf a playful tussle of his fur.

"Aw, that's alright sweetheart, ya'll can ride up front with yer Ma." Audrey smiled as Ulric tried to pull away. It took him a few pulls before he stumbled out of her grasp, playfully swatting at his Mother.

"And ya'll can talk my ear off about whatever ya'll want. As much as you want." Audrey added.

Ulric seemed to beam at this, clapping his paws together excitedly.

"R-really! Oh Ma you're gonna love the stuff I got to tell you! I've got a whole bunch of new UFO stories I th-"

"I guess that means the rest of us are riding in the back Mom?" Xavier asked, taking a step next to Vernon and Dawn. The well dressed wolf gestured to the pair, as well as Malcolm and Wade.

"'Suppose ya'll will have to." Audrey chuckled. "Unless any of ya'll want to squeeze in front with us?"

"Please, Dawn's the only one who could even fit." Xavier replied.

"Well she's more than welcome to!" Audrey cooed as she bent down and gave the ewe a playful nudge. " Although I ain't sure she wants to hear about ghosts."

"Aliens Ma, UFOS?" Ulric enunciated the acronym, clearly distressed that his Mother had seemingly confused the topic.

"Oh sorry Darlin'." Audrey tutted.

"We're fine in the back Ma." Vernon asserted. The wolf leaned forward slightly, squeezing Dawn's shoulder as he spoke. It was clear the wolf was still in protective mode, despite Audrey's non threatening demeanor.

"Alright, alright." The wolfess placed her paws up defensively. "I hear ya."

With that the she wolf turned her back to the group, making her way toward the back of the stall.

"Ya'll can head to the cars, I just have to lock up before we can go." The she-wolf waved them off as she continued her walk. "I'll catch up to ya'll in a bit."

As the other Hunters began to depart, Dawn could feel the wolf's grasp on her shoulder tighten slightly, drawing her attention. As she looked up at Vernon, the wolf looked away, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Y-ya want a lift Floofs?" Vernon murmured.

Dawn was slightly taken aback. "Y-you're asking me?" Dawn replied.

"W-well you're the one who told me to warn ya next time, weren't ya?' Vernon flashed the ewe a weak grin.

It was true, Dawn had told the wolf hundreds of times to give her a warning before lifting her up on his shoulders. But she would be lying if she said she didn't secretly enjoy it. She knew the reason Vernon rarely asked was out of simple forgetfulness, his excitement and exuberance making him act before even thinking. That said, the fact that he had even thought to ask was a clear indication he was not in a great state of mind.

"I-I'm fine down here for now Puppy." Dawn said reluctantly. She didn't want to further depress the wolf, but she certainly wasn't feeling up to the ride in her current state.

Vernon let out a sad whine, but nodded in agreement. However Dawn was quick to take his paw, gripping it tightly in her hoof.

"I'd prefer to hold your paw for a while, if that's okay." Dawn smiled.

Dawn watched Vernon's ears perk slightly, a genuine smile cutting through the gloom for a moment as he squeezed back.

Unlike the van, which had been parked behind the stall for easy loading and unloading, Audrey had parked the truck on the edge of the parking lot. Granted that was only a short walk from the stand as it was. The Hunter stall was situated relatively close to the entrance of the fair. Prime real estate, Dawn thought, as it allowed 'Hunter's Bounty' to be one of the first names patrons got to see as they entered the fairground. It was also a painful reminder to the ewe of the fact that she had put the stand in jeopardy. Who knows how long the family stand had been a part of the festivals traditions. If Audrey's story about meeting Dorian was anything to go by, that number was at least thirty years if not longer. And now Dawn was left to worry about what would become of it. Would this be the last year the stall was allowed to run at the fair because of her and Vernon?

The hard thunk of the truck bed door opening drew Dawn's attention back to the wolves in front of her. Wade was already half way into the truck bed, sliding his way toward the back of the cab while Malcolm was easing his way up onto the flap. Dawn watched as the pudgy wolf awkwardly flopped onto the bed. He blushed slightly through his fur as he righted himself, scratching the back of his head as he tried to play it off.

"As elegant as always Darling." Xavier chuckled.

"Don't be fresh, or I won't help ya up." Malcolm retorted as he offered the dapper wolf a paw.

Xavier adjusted his glasses, glaring at the truck apprehensively before taking his mates paw. As the well dressed wolf climbed on to the back of the truck, he seemed to walk with care, his eyes studying the floor briefly before he carefully took a seat.

"Honestly, if ya'll are so worried about mussin' up yer clothes you should have taken the front seat!" Malcolm chortled.

"And leave all of you at the mercy of Ulric's sparkling conversational skills? Even I'm not that cruel." Xavier replied as his mate leaned into him. The dowdy wolf wrapped an arm around the husky chef, pulling him in close.

Despite her general mood, Dawn couldn't help but giggle slightly at the pairs back and forth. She wasn't sure how long they had been an item, but the way they spoke made it seem like they had been together for years.

As Vernon walked Dawn to the edge of the truck, the wolf kneeled by the side of it, offering his free paw as a stepping stool to boost her into the truck. Still clasping his other paw tightly Dawn carefully eased her way into the truck bed. Once she was safely inside, the ewe slid down the bed to make room for Vernon. Satisfied with the amount of space she had provided, the petite sheep leaned an arm on the lip of the trunk, peeking over the side at the at the entrance of the fair. Yet again she could spy the Hunter stand, barely obscured by a few other food and game stalls in the distance. By now Audrey was making her way back toward them, the business of locking up evidently taken care of. But the she-wolf's face was still stuck in a sharp grimace, causing Dawn to form a deep frown of her own. Audrey had been nothing but welcoming and caring when it came to Dawn, and it hurt the ewe that much more to know that she was the reason the she-wolf was in such a state. It was almost alien to the ewe seeing the normally cheerful wolf so dour.

Dawn let out a surprised yelp as she felt a pair of paws clasp around her, pulling her away from the edge of the truck. Out of sheer force of habit the ewe protested for a split second before her mind reasoned exactly who was grasping her, and summarily relaxed as she soon found herself comfortably seated in Vernon's lap. The ewe glared up at the wolf for a moment.

"You didn't ask that time Puppy." She said, letting out a huff.

"I needed it." Vernon smiled back, wrapping his arms around the ewe and squeezing her tightly into his chest.

Dawn blushed slightly as she caved into the backwards hug. It was impossible to even pretend to be mad when she knew the wolf was in such a funk.

"Alright ya'll, tuck in." Audrey called as she gave a heavy rap on the side of the truck. Ulric had already taken his seat in the cab as Audrey opened the driver's side door. From where the ewe was seated, she couldn't get a good look at Audrey's face as she entered the car. But she imagined it remained much the same.

"I suggest ya'll brace yerselves a bit." Wade said, leaning both his arms on the lip of the truck bed and clasping the sides slightly. "Ma tends to get a bit of the lead foot when she's upset, especially when it involves Pa."

"Lead foot?" Dawn asked, looking up at Vernon worriedly.

"I had more than one reason for buckling you into this 'wolf harness'." Vernon chuckled weakly as he gave the ewe another squeeze.

Dawn let out a quiet gulp, her eyes darting around as the truck rumbled to life. As she heard the tires start to squeal she dug her hooves into Vernon's arms, bracing herself for what was to come. She wasn't sure how fast the she-wolf intended to go, but the ewe prayed it wasn't fast enough to make her motion sick. The diminutive ewe had a poor track record when it came to high speed movement. On top of the many reasons why her last trip on something fast moving was nothing short or nightmarish, as it was associated with being chased by police and nearly driving into a ravine. The ewe also had to contend with keeping her stomach contents from ending up all over Vernon's shirt as they sped down the subway lines. It was why she had shot down every ride Vernon had suggested that appeared vaguely too roller coaster-ey for her liking.

As the truck lurched forward, Dawn could feel her stomach drop, and she tightened her grip on Vernon as she tightly closed her eyes. All of her previous fears were suddenly wiped from her mind as they became replaced by the more urgent and pressing need to will her stomach chambers into behaving as the truck sped out of the parking lot.

Despite the lack of vision caused by her tightly shut eyes, the ewe could vaguely tell every move the vehicle made through its series of terse starts and stops. It stopped sharply at each turn, letting off a honk at what she assumed was another car in the lot before coming to a hard stop. Dawn forced an eye open long enough to see that Audrey had stopped at the mouth of the lot, and was just about to turn back on to the country road that brought them there. It wouldn't be long before they were back on the highway, and Dawn gulped as she imagined just how fast the she-wolf would be driving once she got to it.

As the vehicle lurched forward again, Dawn slammed her eyes shut and began to silently pray to herself as the car picked up speed.

"Don't throw up" She muttered quietly to herself. "Don't throw up, don't throw up." again and again she continued the mantra as she felt the cars speed continue to build.

"Honey Lamb?" She could hear Vernon's voice, but she couldn't respond. Breaking her focus now could spell disaster for those within vomiting distance. She could feel the chambers in her stomach doing back flips.

"MA!" Thunk! Thunk! Came a heavy rapping from somewhere in the back. She could tell that was Wade's voice. "Slow down will ya! Yer making us sick back here!"

Dawn wasn't sure if Audrey had heard her son, or simply had gotten the message through the heavy pounding against the truck, but slowly she felt the speed of the vehicle begin to ease. As it drew slower and slower Dawn could feel her stomach start to settle, and soon the ewe was able to release her vice like grip on Vernon's arms as the speed finally arrived at something more reasonable. Dawn let out a sigh as she finally opened her eyes again.

They were now back on the highway, although thankfully obeying the speed limit at this point. The ewe wiped her brow before placing a hoof to her head.

"Ugh..." Dawn murmured.

"Sorry Darlin'." Vernon replied, gently brushing back the ewe's head wool as Dawn steadied herself.

"Mother has always been quite the...emotional mammal." Xavier added.

Dawn tilted her head toward the sky, laying it back against Vernon's chest as she regained her bearings. She could feel the mixture of cotton candy and other fair foods that had risen up into the back of her gullet slowly sliding back down where it belonged.

It took a few moments of cloud gazing before Dawn could finally bring her focus back to the truck beds occupants. Now that the excitement had died down, the rest of the Hunters had returned to the simple silence that had permeated the clan during the closing of the stall. Wade continued to hold the sides of the bed, staring off at nothing in particular, while Malcolm and Xavier seemed to be doing little more than simply enjoying each others embrace.

Dawn wanted to speak, say something to try to liven up the mood that had returned from the previous altercation with Dorian. But the ewe couldn't bring herself to do it. Her thoughts had returned to her own general glumness about everything she had caused. And thus it seemed that much more inappropriate to act as though the Hunter's needed her to cheer them up. Instead, the ewe decided it was better to take a page from Wade, and simply let her mind wander as she stared out at nothing in particular.

The ewe turned her half hearted attention to the other lane of the highway across from them, watching a few stray cars stream by. By all intents and purposes it was practically rush hour, yet despite it neither side of the highway seemed particularly cluttered. Dawn chalked that up to the pros of rural living. Even with Zootopia as close as it was, the North Meadowlands simply didn't have enough mammals living in it to ever have to worry about congestion. She imagined that if one were to take the entire population of the North Meadowlands and stick them into an emptied Zootopia, they would barely fill up Savanna Square.

The familiar squeal of a police siren broke Dawn from her reverie, and as she continued to watch the lane opposite the Hunter truck the ewe caught sight of a local squad car. The ewe watched as a North meadowlands police cruiser passed on the other side of the highway. Her eyes lingered after it until it was well out of sight as her thoughts drifted back to Ada. Granted the car clearly wasn't Dorian's. She could only assume it was well at the station by now. But she couldn't help but find herself worried for the large, slightly abrasive canid. Here was a mammal that accepted Dawn as her 'sister' without a moments hesitation, and she had jumped to Dawn's defense in much the same way. Dawn barely knew Ada, yet here she rose to the ewe's defense as readily as Vernon would. Now the hyena was in who knew how much trouble. Even if she got out on bail fairly easily, Dawn was certain that nasty she-wolf Ana would do everything she could to make it worse for her.

Dawn could feel the immense guilt returning as she imagined the poor mammal being dragged through an endless slew of hearings, and the possibility of jail time, all at the expense of a dumb ewe who couldn't stand up for herself. Even if they were to decide to return to Zootopia and call the trip a failure, she was certain she couldn't leave Ada in the lurch after what she had done for her. Dawn knew she had to do something, anything to make things square with the hyeness.

"I can tell you're worried about Ada." Xavier said, causing Dawn to snap her head in the wolf's direction. The ewe twiddled her hooves slightly as she shimmied deeper into Vernon's chest.

"Y-yes." Dawn muttered. "After what she did for me..." Dawn trailed off, glancing up at the wolf above her. "For us...I'm just, I ca-"

Xavier chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "She'll be fine Ms. Bellwether, I can assure you."

"Yeah, it's not exactly her first rodeo Darlin'." Malcolm laughed, nudging his partner playfully.

"But still, we have to do something." Dawn turned her attention back to Vernon, clasping a hoof to his chest. "M-Maybe we can pay her back for the bail. It's the least we can do!"

"She'd never accept it." Wade interjected.

Dawn's frowned sharply. "W-what, why?"

"That girl is far too proud to take money from any mammal." Wade continued. "Even more so when it's a fight she jumped into, that stuff is fun for ol' Ada."

"B-but she did it for us!" Dawn protested.

"She chose to do it for ya'll." Malcolm said. "That's how she's gonna see it anyhow."

"B-but what about down the road?" Dawn asked. "Surely someone as tenacious and vindictive as Ana seems to be isn't going to let Ada go that easily. If she drags it into court I can't imagine what kind of compensation she's pursue." Dawn shook her head briskly. "Or worse yet, jail time."

"Well I supposed that all depends on the type of lawyer she can get a hold of." Xavier replied.

"Aw heck, that don't matter none!" Malcolm chirped, giving his partner another affectionate nudge. "My Xavi ain't gonna let nuthin' stick to Ada. He can laywer circles around any bumpkin' from the Meadowlands Ana can git her paws on! Ain't that right Darlin'?"

Xavier let out an awkward cough. "Well, if Ana ends up stick with little more than local legal representation, then yes I imagine I could get Ada off with little more than a slap on the wrist." The wolf adjusted his glasses.

"Y-you'd represent Ada?" Dawn asked.

"I try to step in whenever my family needs legal help. So naturally that last thing I would do was leave Ada to twist in the wind." Xavier replied. "We Hunters look out for one another, as my brother so proudly boasted earlier."

"B-but what if she gets a lawyer outside of the Meadowlands, maybe someone through Loupon?" Dawn said, chewing at her hoof.

"Considering Loupon's attitude toward the end of our little confrontation, I doubt Ana's going to have the connections to pull a decent lawyer."

"Pftt, like that would matter!" Malcolm crossed his paws. "Nobody beats my Xavi when it comes to fightin' in the courtroom! I bet he could run circles around Zootopia's best legal mammals if'n he had to."

Xavier bowed his head slightly, his ears flattening out as he looked toward his lap. Dawn could see the hint of a blush forming below the fur on the wolf's muzzle.

"P-Please Malcolm, you've said enough." Xavier coughed again.

"Ain't no how I did!" Malcolm chortled. "Ya'll just need to learn to accept praise when it's due!"

"Speaking of..." Vernon added. "You made partner? When did that happen?"

Xavier perked up slightly, his blush fading under a creeping prideful grin.

"I-It was last month, give or take a few days." Xavier swelled his chest, flashing a broad smile. "I just hadn't really had a chance to mention it to everyone yet. To be honest I'm still getting used to it myself."

"Fienstag, Goldram, and Hunter..." Malcolm trailed off, letting out an appreciative sigh. "I can't tell you how overjoyed I am to see Xavi's name in big gold letters on the side of their office building. I'm so proud of my little Fluffybuns!"

Vernon and Wade let out sputtering laughs while Dawn did her best to hold in a giggle of her own. She could see Xavier's face flush a deep crimson as his eyes widened. His shock and embarrassment quickly turned into an irritated glare directed toward his mate. Malcolm shrank slightly, trying to suppress a smile of his own as he placed a paw to his mouth.

"S-Sorry Xavi honey..." Malcolm murmured.

"'Fluffybuns', 'huh?" Vernon asked, arching an eyebrow as he grinned mischievously.

"Like you have any room to talk 'Puppy Love'." Xavier retorted, letting out a snort as he crossed his arms.

"Alright fellas, we all have embarrassin' pet names." Wade interjected. " No need to get yer hackles up over it."

"Mine ain't embarrasin'." Vernon added, crossing his paws and drawing Dawn more tightly into his chest. "I like it."

Dawn let out another giggle as she hugged the wolf's arms tightly in response. However she could see that Xavier was still flustered, and rather than continue to allow the Hunter boys to tease each other, the ewe thought it best to change the subject and give the legal wolf an out.

"I must confess, I was surprised when Vernon told me you were a lawyer Xavier." Dawn said, adjusting her own spectacles. "I mean, he told me before he was the only one out of all of you who hadn't went into police work."

Xavier seemed to relax slightly, uncrossing his arms and placing his paws on his lap.

"Well, being a lawyer is still more or less police work." Xavier replied. "Except my beat is in a courtroom and my battles are fought with words. At least that's how I was able to pitch it to my Father to more or less get him to go along with it."

"He wasn't receptive to the idea?' Dawn asked.

"Well, I'll put it to you this way Miss Bellwether." Xavier sighed. " Name me one mammal who has a high opinion of a lawyer." Xavier said with a chuckle.

"I do!" Malcolm raised a paw, again giving his mate a playful nudge to make sure he noticed. Xavier let out a groan, but Dawn could see the hint of a smile on his muzzle despite it.

"But I told him that being a lawyer was to best way possible for me to be able to help other mammals." Xavier ran a paw through the fur on his scalp. "That while my brothers would be out there catching bad mammals, I would be the one making sure they were properly punished for their actions." Xavier nodded. "It was hard for Dad not to see my side of it."

"Well you do have a real way with words Xave." Vernon added. " I imagine a mammal like you could have convinced Pa that being a musician was somehow going to protect innocent mammals."

Xavier chuckled, shaking his head dismissively. "Please, you know I don't use my 'powers' to manipulate Vernon, I don't lie." Xavier rolled his eyes for a moment, scratching his chin. "Even if most mammals consider my job to be a professional 'bullshitter' as Dad would call it." Xavier laughed.

"Well, I'm sure Pa wasn't thinking you'd mostly be taking civil cases rather than criminal ones." Vernon replied with a smirk. "If anything I'd call that a lie of omission."

Xavier stabbed a finger at Vernon. "Hey, it's still an avenue that helps mammals." The wolf said sharply. Slowly he lowered his paw before easing back into a comfortable position against the edge of the truck bed. "Besides, it certainly helped you today did it not?"

Vernon gave a quiet nod.

"Xavier, if you don't mind me asking.." Dawn trailed off, waiting for the wolf to indicate for her to continue. Xavier gave her a simple, affirmative nod. "Were you always keen on taking civil cases, or is it because of your own...well...I mean..." Dawn couldn't manage to say the words. The ewe as fearful of upsetting the couple accidently. All she could manage was gesturing to the pair as she struggled to get the words out, but fortunately Xavier seemed to get the gist rather quickly.

"Of our relationship? Oh hardly..."

"Well, lah-dee-dah." Malcolm huffed. "I certainly feel important now."

Xavier simply rolled his eyes at Malcolm before continuing. "Like the rest of my family I've always felt a need to stand up for smaller mammals as if it were a sense of personal duty. But not every mammal is small in a literal sense. Many are simply smaller metaphorically when pit against a corporation or a township. Even Mega fauna can find themselves trampled underneath the roar of pubic opinion. So that is the main reason I became deeply invested in the art of legal defense." Xavier said.

"And what's the other 'reason'?" Malcolm added, giving the mammal another nudge to emphasize his statement. Xavier glanced at the red wolf next to him, letting out a defeated sigh before turning back to Dawn.

"Yes well, ahem..." Xavier cleared his throat. "That isn't to say our relationship hasn't made it easier to sympathize with clients who are in unconventional relationships like Malcolm and I." The wolf adjusted his jacket slightly, letting out another rolling cough. "Over time that connection formulated a rather soft spot in me for mammals stuck in those circumstances. And I tended to favor helping them out above general civil cases."

"It's why Fienstag and Goldram were keen to dump 'em strictly on you after a while!" Malcolm chirped, still quite eager to cheerlead his mate's achievements loudly.

"W-well they said I had a knack for them, that I was capable of getting emotionally invested in such cases more than they could ever hope to." The wolf asserted.

"Because you are more understanding due to being in a relationship like that yourself?" Dawn asked.

Xavier nodded. "I wouldn't say we have it particularly hard personally. San Francisgoat is a very progressive city, and even so same sex couplings aren't exactly the highest type of relationship on the totem pole of public scorn. The most hassle Malcolm and myself have had to endure usually comes from wolves." Xavier shrugged. "I assume it's because they have an easier time of telling the difference between wolves that are just hanging out together and wolves that are a couple. Perhaps through smell or some other innate intuition. Even so it's usually more of a Native Wolf thing with regards to calling us out. "

Dawn raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Totem pole of public scorn?"

Xavier chuckled, extending a paw out. He held it high in the air.

"At the top you have prey and prey couples." Xavier lowered his paw slightly. "Slightly below that you got preds in general. Considering prey are more numerous and preds used to hunt them there's bad blood there, as you already know."

Dawn grimaced slightly, nodding in acknowledgment.

"Below that you have your Omnivores, you'd be surprised to hear they get a lot of flack because of their unique diet. Mammals, both pred and prey seem to share a mutual distrust of those who can't pick a side of the dietary scale to stick to."

"Below that ya'll got mammals like us." Malcolm interrupted, hovering his own paw below Xavier's.

Xavier looked at Malcolm briefly, letting out another sigh. "Same sex couplings mostly get flack from members of their own species, what with the inability to reproduce usually being a main point of contention."

Xavier brought his paw below Malcolms. "Then we have interspecies couplings of prey and prey, and pred and pred, as well as the rare offspring of those unions such a ligers and zhorses." Xavier stated. "A bulk of my discrimination cases come from couples like these, and it's truly distressing what some of them have had to endure just to be allowed to love the mammal they wanted to." Xavier pressed the center band of his glasses, sliding them back up his nose.

"And then?" Dawn asked knowingly. She could already assume what was to come next.

Xavier let out another sigh as he lowered his paw again, it was now getting dangerously close to the floor of the truck bed.

"Then you have pred and prey couples like..." Xavier shook his head before gesturing toward Dawn and Vernon.

"I figured..." Dawn muttered.

"The cases with pred and prey couples are few and far between." The wolf sighed, scratching he head. "I think it has to do with a combination of the fact that there are so few of them, as well as the amount of shame such a coupling carries keeping them in hiding when it comes to being seen in public. I can only imagine some of the horror stories couples like those have to tell." The wolf shook his head. "Especially those living out in the sticks."

"Can't get much lower than us huh?" Vernon said with a chuckle.

"Maybe if ya'll were a liger and a zhorse in a gay interspecies relationship." Malcolm laughed, sliding a paw across the truckbed floor until it was below Xavier's. "Then I imagine ya'll'd be here."

Dawn felt the truck shift, and turning her attention back to the road she could see Audrey's truck was now pulling away from the highway. She watched as the cement drifted out of sight, only to be replaced by long, amber stalks of grain. She imagined it wasn't much longer until they would be back at the ranch. Dawn couldn't help but ruminate on Xavier's talk of about the ladder of societal outcasts, and the suffering of all the mammals who simply wanted nothing more than to live their lives the way they chose in peace. She wanted the same, with Vernon, with her Mother, with the Hunters. But at the moment it all seemed so frustrating, so hard. How could she and Vernon have that simple peace without jeopardizing the rest of their families.

"It must be such a struggle..." Dawn mumbled. It hadn't been directed at anyone, it had simply slipped out before Dawn knew what she was saying.

"It can be." Xavier replied, drawing Dawn's attention to the fact she had spoken out loud. The ewe placed a hoof to her muzzle, blushing slightly in embarrassment.

"I've spoken to numerous clients who've told me so many miserable and horrific stories." Xavier shook his head in disappointment. "Ex-communicated by families, by friends and loved ones. Vandalism, physical abuse, in rare cases a death. Just because of their strong desire to simply be with the mammal they love."

Xavier let out a sad sigh, and for a moment the wolf remained silent, allowing the quiet ambience of the wind to dominate the truck bed. Dawn watched the wolf turn to glance at his partner before a small smile crawled across his muzzle. Xavier leaned over to Malcolm, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead before pulling him in with one arm. Malcolm let out an affection sigh as he leaned into his mate.

"But they fought, and when they needed help they came to me so they could keep fighting." Xavier said confidently. "Being in an unusual relationship like you or I, or the rest of my brothers can be a struggle, but so is anything worth fighting for." The well dressed wolf squeezed his mate into a hug.

Dawn could feel tears start to well as Xavier's words hit home inside her. Glancing up at the wolf above her, she could see his own glistening eyes looking back. And as Vernon's grip around her tightened into a hug of it's own the ewe began to feel something burning inside. A flicker of heat similar to what she had felt in her dreams while comatose in the hospital. Determination.

Xavier was right, his simple but effective statement encapsulated everything Dawn should have been thinking all along. Aside from Dorian, Yuri, and possibly Ulric, most of Vernon's family were stalwart in their support of the two of them being together. Despite Dawn's past, despite the difference in species, and in apparent spite of the risks that were associated with fraternizing with mixed species couples. She and Vernon had the fortune that despite it all they were still lucky enough to be surrounded by so many loving and supportive mammals. Nick, Judy, her Mother, Audrey, Vanna, the list expanded far beyond the capacity for Dawn to count on her own hooves. These were luxuries the mammals that went to seek Xavier's help most likely didn't have. Yet they didn't turn and run away, back into the dark. They stood, and they fought to be able to simply live a relatively normal life. Not only did Dawn owe the completion of her book to herself and Vernon, but she owed it to all the other mammals whose struggles the book would help shed light on. Something they could rally behind and get the attention they deserved.

But the ewe also knew she had to fight for her new family. Despite all that had happened over the first two days of the re-union, every encounter gone awry or misstep, there had always been a Hunter to stand up and defend them. The family had even gone so far to stand against the head of their household all for her and Vernon's sake, and it had been fractured because of it. Dawn couldn't simply give up now, simply turn tail and run back to Zootopia as fast as her hooves could carry her. She owed it to her new family to try to fix the problem, to heal the rift she had created. Even if she couldn't, at the very least she owed it to the Hunter family to try. But the question that now hung in the ewe's mind was simply 'how'?

"Which is why I am still so surprised at my Father for his supposed 'solution'!" Xavier huffed.

"Oh hush now Xavi." Malcolm cooed. "Dori ain't worth getting flustered over."

Xavier let out a scoff. "It is when he's behaving in such a manner, I swear."

"W-well it is his job to keep the peace." Wade stuttered slightly. "Things were getting a bit out of paw there, you were kind of losing it Xave."

Xavier snorted, throwing his brother a glare.

"Oh do not get all 'peace maker' on me Wade." The wolf made air quoting gestures as he emphasized 'peace maker'.

" His actions were completely untenable!" Xavier hissed, crossing his paws. "I've never seen Father behave in such a manner! Let alone side with mammals who were clearly in the wrong."

"He has been actin' different hasn't he?" Malcolm mused, placing a finger to his chin. "Seems like he's all riled up, like something's got under his fur."

"Yeah, us." Vernon muttered tersely.

"That's preposterous!" Xavier cried, gesturing to the two of them. "If you and Dawn are the reason for his behavior, then as I said early it is a slap in the face to the rest of us." Xavier huffed. "How can he approve of our relationships if he seems to take issue with yours? How can he accept Vanna, Qali, Ada or even Malcolm and spurn your mate?"

"M-maybe..." Dawn murmured. She could feel cud rising in her throat as she once again had to think about her own horrible misdeeds. She was averse to bringing it up again, but it seemed like the most obvious answer.

"Maybe it's because of my involvement in the 'Night Howler' plot." Dawn sighed.

Xavier shook his head decisively in dismissal. "Nonsense." the dowdy wolf replied without hesitation. "Father was a champion of rehabilitation, he believed in the idea even more than anyone else in this family."

"And after what ya'll did in Zootopia months ago, I'd think that'd be enough proof to the ol' wolf you were on the level Darlin'." Malcolm added.

"W-what else can it be then?" Dawn replied firmly, drawing back slightly in surprise of her own statements. But it was true, if it had nothing to do with the species difference, than it had to be Dawn's history as an ex-criminal. But the ewe's certainty began to waiver as she recalled a previous conversation with the Hunter girls earlier that day.

Ada and Qali had vastly disagreed about Dorian's true personality because they had met him at different times. And Vanna explained that Dorian had become reclusive and colder in the past few months, even before Dawn had been dating his son in an official sense. Perhaps there was something deeper there that Dawn was simply missing, and Vernon and her showing up had simply been an inopportune time to meet the wolf. As if to confirm her suspicions, the next words out of Malcolm's mouth seemed to add to the story Vanna had painted before.

"Last time I was out to visit he wasn't anything like this. Hell, he was the first one to hug me!" Xavier lamented.

"Ada said something very similar to me today." Dawn responded, scratching her chin.

"Oh?" Xavier asked, seemingly intrigued.

"Yes."" Dawn nodded. "When did the two of you last visit?"

Xavier placed a paw to his chin, rolling his eyes as he searched his thoughts.

"Hmm...I'd say..." The wolf trailed off as he tapped a finger against his chin repeatedly. " A little under a year ago, during 'Courtship Day' break I believe."

Dawn nodded in affirmation. "That lines up with what Ada, Vanna and Qali said. That Dorian's only been acting this way for the last few months."

"Well either way." Xavier huffed. "Good luck getting the real reason out of him when he's acting like such a mongrel, he's more stubborn that Vernon!" The well dressed wolf smirked as he gestured to his brother.

"Hey!" Vernon snapped. " I ain't that stubborn!"

Dawn chuckled, patting the wolf on the leg as she eyed him doubtfully. "Vernon, you made us part of a police chase because you weren't willing to let the police take me in for questioning."

"That's different!" The wolf sputtered. "They were trying to frame you!"

"Oh now this is one I absolutely have to hear the details on." Xavier grinned mischievously as he crossed his paws.

Dawn was about to open her mouth, to retell the harrowing story in earnest, but Vernon cut her off.

"Hey look! Were home!" The wolf cried loudly, drawing the ewes attention to her surroundings.

The ewe could see the car was in the process of slowing to a stop as the Hunter Family Ranch pulled into sight. The large sprawling cabin loomed over the old truck as it finally parked, and the rumble of the engine died away. Vernon had popped the trunk door open even before the truck had managed to come to a full stop. The wolf only paused to slide Dawn off his lap and back onto the truck bed before sliding his way off of the vehicle.

"Welp, I better head inside and get the picnic stuff!" The wolf announced abruptly as he adjusted the hem of his jeans.

Xavier simply chuckled as Wade began to make his way toward the trunk flap, shaking his head as the wolf passed. As Malcolm helped the well dressed wolf to his feet, he turned his attention back to Dawn, flashing the ewe a warm smile.

"Promise me you will tell me later, I really want to hear what kind of trouble my poor little brother got himself into."

Dawn smiled, nodding briskly at Xavier before the couple made their way off the back of the truck and onto the gravel drive. As Xavier passed by Vernon, he gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, letting out another laugh before leaving the couple alone.

Dawn eyed the wolf with a smirk of her own, which cause Vernon to turn his attention to the floor in shame.

"I...I said I was sorry for it." Vernon muttered.

Dawn scooted over to the edge of the trunk, giving the wolf an affection pat on the chest.

"I know." She cooed, extending a hoof to the wolf to help her down. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to tell it to others." Dawn giggled as Vernon clasped her hoof tightly. The wolf brought his other arm under her legs, effectively making a lower ledge for her to slide off from. "Especially family."

Dawn hopped to the ground with ease, letting out a grunt as her hooves impacted the uncomfortable gravel. She never usually gave much thought to investing in a pair of 'solepads' like the ones Judy wore, but being in the rough terrain of the country rather than the smooth streets of Zootopia was certainly making her think twice about the idea. The ewe dusted her skirt off before turning her attention toward the now towering wolf.

Vernon was still clearly embarrassed. His teeth were clenched into a firm cringe as he let out a soft whine.

"Y-you ain't really gonna tell 'em all are ya?" Vernon muttered.

Dawn smirked, flicking a hoof toward the wolf. "I suppose it depends on how the picnic goes." Dawn said with a grin.

With that, the wolf's ears perked up, and Dawn could see his tail begin to wag.

"O-Oh the picnic!" The wolf yelped. The way he had said it made it seem as though he had temporarily forgotten it. "Yeah! I have to get all the gear."

Vernon turned, taking a step toward the house before turning back toward Dawn. Reaching down, the wolf gave Dawn's wooly poof a playful tousle. Dawn did her best to swat him away, giggling all the while. But it did little to stop the wolf.

"You wait here, and I'll be back in two shakes of..." Vernon shook his head, letting out a chuckle. "In two shakes of yer tail." The wolf flashed a cheesy grin.

Dawn let out a snorting laugh. "That's not funny."

Vernon pointed a finger toward the ewe as he began to walk backward toward the ranch. "But you laughed!"

Dawn shook her head as the wolf turned away from her and began a swift jog toward the front door. The wolf was nearly at the house when the slamming of car doors and excited gibbering drew Dawn's attention back to the truck cab. In all the excitement the ewe had nearly forgotten about Audrey and Ulric.

"Alright Ulric, I love ya. But seriously yer Ma has a headache." Audrey sighed as she marched passed Dawn toward the door. The she-wolf had a paw clasped to her head, her faced twisted up into a painful wince. Ulric was following close behind, practically hopping in place with excitement. Despite his Mother's declaration, it seemed to do little to slow the wolf down.

"Because that's where sheep came from Ma!' The wolf protested. "That's why they got those weird eyes!"

Dawn suppressed a giggle as she watched the pair continue to trudge toward the house, Audrey looking increasingly tired with each woeful step. All the while Ulric's rant growing quieter and quieter with only a few loud phrases popping out like 'UFO's' and something about 'wool transmitters' before they finally disappeared inside. Now Dawn was alone, left with nothing but the soothing hum of the light breeze wafting across the Meadowlands. The ewe took a moment to lean against the car, letting out a sigh as she began to think back to the matter at hoof once more.

Now that Dawn was set on staying and trying to make up for the trouble she had caused. But the ewe remained uncertain of just how to even begin to go about it. She kept coming back to the talk she had with the other members of the family, about how Dorian had changed seemingly overnight with no provocation. Surely there was a reason, surely some catalyst had to have forced the wolf to change. It was in that moment it became clear to Dawn. Like a brilliant flash through her mind, it became instantly apparent as to what she had to do.

She knew she had to talk to Dorian, alone. It was the only way to possibly mend the situation. Should any of the Hunter's go with her, especially Vernon, it would only end in an explosive argument. She had to face the head of the family, and remain calm and rational in the face of anything the wolf might throw at her. She had to prove to Dorian that she could stand up to him, to stand up for the mammal she loved, and prove that love. Maybe then she could earn the wolf's respect, or at the very least learn the exact reason why he seemed to have it out for her. She had failed to hold her ground at the fair, but she was damn well going to hold her ground now. She had to, for the Hunters, for Vernon, and for herself.

#Zootopia #dawn bellwether #Assistant Mayor Bellwether #fanfiction #furry #fan character #wasted time #ask blog

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