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#(as he always would have done eventually)
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You really didn't think that one through huh?
idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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emile-hides · 2 months
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I was looking directly at a reference while drawing these and I still somehow convinced myself he had long hair. Whatever, he's pretty.
A-Z Isekai'd Cress deign by @acfan120 really got me in some kinda way and I couldn't help wanting to draw him. I also have thoughts on story for him but I'm not gonna be annoying with that rn. Maybe someday.
Bonus my warmup doodle:
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coldvampire · 4 months
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anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.
#all i can think about is the shelves im gonna get installed here over the next little bit fdghj#yall dont understand its so hard to keep things clean and brain friendly when you just dont have anywhere to put stuff.#hellish#& then i get overwhelmed and turn into a massive bitch when i try to get it under control fdgh#instead its been like. 2 straight days of dopamine i fucking swear?? my body probably definitely wouldnt let me do this for a living#(my hip is screamingggg dfghgjj) but actually if i could & if i could work in a team then yeah. ykw i enjoy it.#organization go brrrrrrr#i dont think she was expecting me to work that fast either but ive been like a feral animal. skittering over clutter.#finding Spots for Things#okay i lied the flood was actually beneficial in one way to me specifically.#estranged father just forgot a Bunch of tool sets here & ive claimed them now fdghjk#that nail gun is MINE#she suggested i look out for an actual tool chest/bench thing (ykw the ones with wheels and stuff) for everything and i havent been that#excited for anything in months fdgh tools are expensive alright. too bad he took the table saw.#i dont talk much abt my Masc Hobbies as i call them lmao no real reason to but hoooboy i love to Build Things#give me that ikea desk ill have it done in an hour or less every time#maybe trade school is still on the horizon for me gfhj always wanted to Weld Stuff i think id be good at it#as much as i fuckin loathe yard maintenance i was a real garage sooooo bad its not even funny#shame i wasnt just inherently expected to know car stuff tm i feel like i would have loved it too#scarrier to learn on your own later in life especially with a lease vehicle but ill get there eventually#anyway yeah bg3! new mods. new ocs#have not done much with them yet but they Exist and theyre pretty
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tanoraqui · 2 years
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I’d love an Oromë pov fic of seeing Tyelkormo Turkafinwë as a child and instantly recognizing one who could, should, will grow up to be one of his finest hunters, and watching over him through adolescence, welcoming him into the forest and then into the Hunt, maybe a little ritual hunter/hunted sex if that’s your thing…the teaching of animal languages, the gift of Huan…watching nearly helpless from ever-more-afar as he falls with his father and brothers, as he proves that Beleriand under Morgoth’s influence is a terrible place to have a well-honed sense of predator and prey…and one day, finally, many ages hence, welcoming him home again…
And the whole thing is draped like heavy furs in metaphors of spotting prey and stalking, lying in wait, trapping, chasing, capture and even bloody fight and feast. Because Oromë is the Vala of the Hunt, and how could his point of view be otherwise? Tyelkormo is, will be, a great predator, but all creatures are prey compared to the might of the Hunter himself… But while the language is entirely predatory, and there is an edge of It Is A Grand and Terrible Thing, To Be Beloved of a God, the intent is never “predatory” as we might define word today. Oromë is the Vala of the Hunt; he could no more disrespect the prey than he could the predator (perhaps that’s where Celegorm went wrong in Beleriand). Hunting with intent to love vs hunting with intent to kill, and the overlap. Hunting with intent to consume vs hunting with intent to be worshipped, and the overlap.
Also something something untamable wildness but also natural order; something something the nature of Valar in ruling vs embodying their domains, and how those who worship/follow/serve/love them fit into that. Something something a person’s nature (not nurture, just nature) and everything goes wrong when you deviate from that into too much competition and cruelty—or maybe something something competition and cruelty, too, are natural (both broadly and person-specifically), but if you want to spend time with people whose natures are inclined towards things like pretty gemstones and diplomacy (and you do want that, they’re still your family), you have to learn how to tamp down the more violent wildness for at least the duration of a dinner party, much as the Vala of the Hunt must tamp himself down at least a little to spend time with even the fiercest and finest of his young hunters.
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touchlikethesun · 1 year
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so james’ tattoos are obvs the antlers along his v-line, matching with sirius’ flower v-line tats, his gryffindor quidditch jersey number on his bicep, and then constellations across his chest for sirius and reg. regulus has stars tattooed around his moles, on his collarbone, arms, and back, all in slightly different styles, since some have been done by different artists and some have been done by his friends. he also has a sun over his heart with long rays reaching out across his body.
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july-19th-club · 9 months
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i love when characters suck and are bad people like the thing about murphy is that i liked him before he was the incredible wife guy (which is also pretty great, dont get me wrong) but like. i thought he was cool when he was a horrible jackass that everyone hated . like he was interesting before he got morals; he was interesting as a guy who gets lynched in a frontier justice display of retaliation for a murder because he just seems like the kind of dude who would murder someone. and he is! just not that dead guy, specifically. whereas the actual killer is a twelve-year-old girl who the whole crew spends the episode trying to proctect from any kind of punishment, while murph runs around trying and failing to get anyone to admit out loud that the only reason there's a difference between punishing him and punishing her is because he has a bad personality . and also the murders but at that point in the show he hadn't killed anyone, he just seemed like he would
#now the OPTICS of his eventual murder of the guy that lynched him? are abysmal given that murphy is white and connor is black#BUT . that is not a murphy problem that is a showrunners' racial politics are simply completely bankrupt problem#the early-seasons flipflopping between him and finn never ceases to interest me either. his main thing is a sense of antagonistic FAIRNESS#which means that he has no problem helping during the sickness or with food production - doing objectively good things - if they need done#BUT he will also use the opportunity to kill anyone he feels has wronged him; in this case his would-be executors#also anyone who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time#but - even with all that - by the second season he's only killed two people . he's made more attempts; but they all fell through.#finn manages to keep his hands clean for nearly the whole first season and is an adamant pacifist#but grows so emotionally unstable by the second season that he shoots up an entire town full of people and then - just like charlotte -#is defended and protected by many of his crewmates in a way that#had the same event occured but with the roles swapped - murphy shooting instead - would not have happened#and these facts are not lost on murphy! even when he becomes the incredible wife guy#she's the only person who really thinks he has like. a likeable personality#everyone else is like 'well we used to hate him but then we had bigger problems. so he just lives here now. he's all right i guess'#the 100#god i just always have so much to SAY about this shit#love the 100 because it's one of those shows thats bad but NOT so bad that there isn't like a ton of really interesting stuff#to discuss and analyze and reinvent and talk about
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bullseyelover · 1 year
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BENJAMIN “DEX” POINDEXTER aka BULLSEYE therapy prop notes from Daredevil S3
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tea-cat-arts · 8 months
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(Uh, hi. Currently doing my first 3 Hopes playthrough)
WHY IS EVERYONE IN SCARLET BLAZE BEING A DICK TO MY BOY ASHE! CHRIST, WHY'D NO ONE WARN ME THAT RECRUITING HIM JUST ENDS WITH HIM BEING EMOTIONALLY KICKED IN THE NUTS FOR 12 CHAPTERS STRAIGHT!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BLACK EAGLE FRIENDSHIPS!!!
Anyways, Shez, Mercedes, Raphael, and Rodrigue are the only characters that passed the vibe check on how they treated Ashe (so far at least). Everyone else should reconsider their life choices
#fe3h#ashe duran#vent post#the audacity of everyone to be rude to Ashe#of all the characters they couldve made suffer they chose the one thats never done anything wrong before in his life#to address some counterpoints i feel like will come up:#“Dimitri wasnt a dick to Ashe. he gave him that order-”#so i hate that order for plot reasons as i feel it removes a lot of Ashe's agency#it takes him from where he was in the original game when he had to actually evaluate his views on the kingdom. the church. and knighthood#where he actually thought about his own beliefs and values and who he wanted to fight for#to someone just following orders#Ashe does have a tendency to default to what authority tells him to do in situations where theres no right answer#but hes also contemplative and comes to his own conclusions eventually#and his own conclusions are always something hes passionate about and believes in#but this time around it seemed like he hated his decisions. was just committing to the bit. and wanted to die#as for why i think Dimitri himself is a dick for that order:#why the fuck would you send Ashe to fight his dad??? and why didnt you tell anyone else about that order???#“well they wanted to go a different direction with the support so thats why there arent repeats-”#ok but they couldve shown him talking with his friends from the previous game around camp#or paralogs#or unique dialog#they did it with Lorenz/Ferdie/Constance and Lysithea/Edelgard#im not asking for like a 3 part support chain. i just want someone to check in on him#cuz at this point i wouldnt be surprised if his end card was just a suicide note#i want ashe to have supports with Bernie. Dorothea. Lindhardt. and Lonato so bad it makes me look stupid#i am filled with salt and rage
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neverendingford · 4 months
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#tag talk#told my brother about how I trimmed my sublingual frenulum and he explained to me how apparently I'm a 12 on the weird scale#he was like “at least it wasn't the dick one” and I had to tell him that yeah I already got that one like.. two years ago.#I think I'm now a 13 on the weird scale in his eyes#idk. it's always an isolating experience to meet people who are like “yeah I'm so weird I'm a freak!” and then I start talking and they just#the slow horror creeps across their face and suddenly I'm the freak again.#and here's the thing. yeah it's mixed up in mental instability but it's rooted in a genuine view that my body is just an object#I feel better than I've ever felt and I've been thinking about how I don't like that part of my body. so I changed it. simple as that.#it's not self harm it's self actualization. I'm creating something.#this is my gripe with mental health professionals. they view it as pathology. view it as a problem.#was me piercing my ears an act of self harm? I would say no. but deliberately sticking a needle into your body could be extrapolated as such#idk. just because I'm not like everyone else doesn't make me a freak. doesn't make me bad. doesn't make me abhorrent.#I like the fact that I'm becoming more confident in my weirdness. owning it. if anyone doesn't like it they can leave. I am who I am.#I still want some sort of wing design across my back and shoulder blades but I think I'll actually have to get that done professionally.#some day. not soon for sure. but eventually#my back is relatively bare compared to my front since my arm reach is limited so you know.#but like. a dragon wing design kinda like the red dragon Hannibal-style#wouldn't that absolutely fuck severely?#I think it would#I don't want more far out body mods like split tongue or piercings on less practical body parts#though actually ngl after bottom surgery I would actually totally get some sort of labial piercing maybe.#that would actually be sick as hell I think.#zero desire to pierce my dick cause I don't want it at all so the less attention it gets the better#anyway. done rambling for now.
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gothamcityneedsme · 1 year
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ok.  this is me having my usual mandalorian issues lol.
shae vizla saying the mandalorian wars were driven by “greed not righteousness” is such a grotesque misreading of history and like COMPLETELY showing that she doesn’t see the inherent flaws in her own culture.
like.  one.  the mandalorians were absolutely driven by both.  greed was just a side benefit to their main focus.  they got to plunder and get tons of resources.  but that was just fueled by the violence that was their actual purpose.
before the mandalorian wars, mandalorian culture had stagnated.  they had nothing to do that felt significant.  they were at least two generations in since having the last major war to fight in (maybe a bit less--i am too lazy atm to see if mandos got involved in Exar Kun).  the mandalorians had a young generation trained and ready but who had nothing truly ‘worthy’ to fight.
soooo, they started conquering the outer rim.  still seeking challenge, they moved in until they started going toe-to-toe with the Republic.  that was a worthy challenge.  no mandalorian felt they were wrong in this.  none of the mandalorians in kotor1 or kotor2 view themselves as morally wrong for the war they caused, the people they killed--they only regret that they got their asses handed to them.  some of them were humbled by that and others just want even more war.  they either stuck to mandalorian culture as it was or swapped to the new, easier, culture of self-focused merc work, shedding the ‘honor’ component, more honestly pursuing the violence that is ultimately what mandalorians seek.
obligatory ‘yes the mandalorians were pushed by the true sith into fighting the republic as a test etc etc but that still doesnt really remove how easily their entire culture took up arms as instigators just to do what their culture had bred them to--wage war.
so yeah shae will do nothing to end the violence that fuels everything mandalorians are.  which, isn’t surprising considering the era swtor takes place in, but it’s such a glaring flaw to her (and a GOOD one tbh!! this is a good trait!) and it just really illustrates how she really is just a typical mandalorian when the chips fall.  her overall dogma is predictable, and hasn’t changed from the mandos at large.  she’s a carbon copy of the 'honor’ they had before their fall, and their desire to push for war and violence as a form of testing themselves in combat.
she really is just a return to form.
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endusviolence · 2 months
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
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lilgynt · 29 days
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no i don’t care that most of my moms commutation to me especially to direct question is just straight up ignoring me or some other form of non verbal communication. like grunting or vague pointing. the glass i broke outside is unrelated
#personal#no i don’t think this affected my siblings either and that they love to ignore direct statements :)#like i’m fine with it most the time#not fine but just used to it#but i asked can you handle dog food tonight i got it this morning#and after realizing we both got it this morning i asked again if she can get it tonight or not#to be clear the understanding we both fed her was her giving me a weird look then goin back to watching tv then i said it’s a yes or no i#can do it can you just answer THEN she said she did it this morning#anyway i ask again and just keeps looking at the tv#and the only time in months she felt like cleaning the kitchen was when i was doing my taxes#so eventually i’m like fine let me go through turbo tax bc im sure im doing it wrong on the irs site#and god. god. the dog pissed on the floor i put a piss towel down so we don’t trip she immediately picks it up to wash it - which would be#fine except it’s soaking wet piss all on the floor and she’s like okay?#also speaking of the floor i deep cleaned it twice spent some of the last of the money i have for cleaners next day all fucked up with shoe#marks and dirt and i’m like mom what happened#she’s watching tv and she’s like dog peed#so from the front of the kitchen to the back door to the fridge the dog pissed all across and might i add dirt black piss with foot marks#cleaned it again but it’s already so fucking dirty#she can’t even put her laundry in the dryer#i asked her to leave so i can focus bc the plates and washing and moving things is too loud and i can’t focus i don’t tell her all that#but she starts laughing at me meanly and doesn’t even go back when i’m done#so it’s like what just bc i needed the kitchen you decided to clean??? for the first time ever???????#i’m always begging her to move her stuff bc i’m not allowed to but we’ve been balancing whatever food items we need just on top of WHATEVER#BUT THIS IS WHEN? and im telling ben im not in a good space between mom and the break in and he’s like sorry :( also you should go into#debt for mom bc i’m not which i’m really happy he’s not but im never getting out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and he can’t comfort me about mom and frank won’t comfort me about dad and mom hates me and it just feels like none of them fuck with me at#all whatsoever and that’s so upsetting#this house is so dirty and i’m not doing great at all actually im doing awful and my whole family hates me to some degree and i wish i#wasn’t born bc like. it’s bad enough life is bad can my family like me. and im never getting out so im stuck like this forever
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sucrevere · 2 months
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#twit is about the artists first love who loved her more than she thinks she deserved. some of the lyrics talk about her being unhappy#despite it. she felt suffocated and like she was his whole world while he was not hers. eventually he too grew unhappy and they broke up#anyways#sometimes i think about my first relationship when i listen to this song#pretty sure she had bpd. she loved me so much. i was her favorite person. but... i was the person who put the most effort into the#relationship.#i thought it was my duty as the person who ''wore the pants'' ig and she adored the attention. its always been in my nature to watch out#for others i suppose.#when i became severely depressed after turning 18 i lost all passion and desire to do anything. i had no energy for the relationship#instead of picking up the slack... she started acting out to try and regain my attention. it didn't work. i didn't have the energy to give#her my attention but she desperately needed it.#at some point it hit me that i was aro and it was at that point i realized i needed to cut it off.#she loved me so much. she loved me too much. she'd never had a partner who treated her the way i did. she couldn't imagine a life#without me.#i couldn't be the person she needed and i knew it. it would hurt her but it would be for the best. i know she would never be able to cope#with the fact that i'd never be able to love her in the same way she did i. so i did. i think it broke her#to put it bluntly. she tried to rape me in response. corrective rape. she wanted me to stop being aromantic.#it didn't work. i stood my ground. i was larger and stronger than her.#there's no excuse for it. but sometimes... i want to feel bad for her. i loved her too. not in the same way she loved me but i did.#i mourn her and our relationship still sometimes. i know i ruined her. i feel like i did. i feel like if i were different or if i had#handled it better then she wouldn't have done that. i feel like its my fault still#i know its not.#but i still feel like it was and because of that. i feel guilt.#tw rape#rape mention#Spotify
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fmhobeus · 2 months
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fwb!suguru who knew he wanted to fuck when he first laid eyes on you. then wanted to take you out to endless dinners to chat his ears off when he first spoke to you.
fwb!suguru who grew to like you without fucking you, almost forgot it was what he wanted you for – a life together or a night together?
fwb!suguru whose dick got painfully hard when you taunted him, rolled your eyes at him or outwitted him. he lived for your sassiness.
fwb!suguru who happened to fuck you on a random night unexpectedly and it changed the trajectory of his life.
fwb!suguru who stayed after every dick appointment. cuddled with you on the bed, watched movies or your favourite TV show, ordered take out and held you in his arms till you both inevitably fell asleep.
fwb!suguru who couldve sworn he wasn't in love with you. he would still fuck other people (and then come back to you, poor baby was thinking of you the whole time)
fwb!suguru whose grown accustomed to your presence. he calls you when he isn't feeling okay, you call him when something bothers you. he's grown used to you telling him all about work, how you got your nails done, how you saw a cute cat near your apartment. trivial details, which coming from anyone else he would hang up, but he looks forward to them with you.
fwb!suguru who eventually stops fucking other people and is just your man, without you knowing.
fwb!suguru who is determined to mark you up in placed people will notice. your neck, your thighs, your collarbones.
fwb!suguru who believes in giving you his all. all of his long girthy dick that pumps you full it should be criminal, his long slim fingers that have made you orgasm so often and hit that deep spot with unbeat ease, his long tounge... oh god his tounge. he thinks maybe even his long life ahead is yours too, all yours. his little kids too maybe? he doesn't like to think too much about that.
fwb!suguru who has to have your pussy checked with his tounge daily. he has to lap up your insides no matter any circumstances. his voice purrs across your body when he talks you through your orgasm.
"mhmm yeah cum all over my face beautiful, I know you want to"
fwb!suguru who gets sick at the thought of you sitting so pretty for another man when you tell him you're going on a date. suguru who looks so disturbed at the thought of another man even looking at his pretty girl who isn't really his.
fwb!suguru who takes you to corporate events just so he can call you his girlfriend, even if it's just pretend. when you question him it's always "easier explanation than a friend i fuck on the regular, isn't it?"
fwb!suguru who knows how you like your coffee in the morning. he knows what you like for breakfast, your comfort food, your hobbies, your favourite movies, your least favourite movies, your icks, your past. he knows you like he knows himself. he thinks of you when he passes your favourite cafe, he texts you when he sees something in the colour you like.
fwb!suguru who is sure he hasn't felt this way before, who is so vulnerable with you that it scares the shit out of him.
fwb!suguru who is afraid, angered at everything about you. he's angry at how you lull him into a sense of security, how you hold him, how sweet your voice sounds when you call him by his name, how you take care of him, how you listen to him. he hates how your pussy clenches his dick for dear life, milking it dry and how you never let a drop of his cum go to waste, licking it up like a little slut. he's fearful too. about losing you. about where loving you the way he does leads. loving you? wait. he loves you? fuck. fuck. fuck. this hasn't been according to plan at all.
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sttoru · 4 months
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. thinking about true form!sukuna having a huge size kink (+ corruption kink).
word count. 2.6k
note. super self-indulgent. cant rlly blame me for creating this. also do you see those big ass hands in the header i used? yeah.. says enough (this sucks ass)
tags. dom heian era!sukuna x concubine!female reader. smut. porn with plot. size kink / size difference (reader gets referred to as ‘short’ & ‘small’). p in v -> unprotected. degradation. corruption kink (reader gets referred to as ‘naive’, 'shy' & innocent’-looking). tummy bulging. loss of virginity mention. hymen breaking mention. cervix fucking, ouch. lots of teasing. tiny bit of choking. tiny mention of blood tasting ? idk. hint at anal / double penetration. dirty talk. sukuna has two of everything btw mehehe. reader get called ‘woman, brat, slut, little'.
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sukuna is intrigued by you. he’s always been, since the moment he’s laid his eyes upon you. your loyalty and devotion to him are two aspects that the king of curses likes most about you. .
. . after your innocence.
it nearly irked him. every time he saw you hanging around the estate without a single care in the world. sukuna would attempt to intimidate you with serious threats. he’d loom over your short stature and look down at you with a malicious glint in his eyes. though, none of it seemed to work.
you'd only bow your head at him and apologise if you’ve caused him any possible inconveniences. it annoyed the sorcerer. you weren’t trembling in fear like all the others would — it was like there was nothing going on in that head of yours. especially when you smile at him. which no one actually dares to do.
sukuna could crush you. with no effort. one big hand would be enough to pick your entire body up, lift you in the air and throw you around like a ragdoll. you don’t seem to fear the possibility of that happening, even when being faced with a pissed off sukuna.
it’s truly intriguing and amusing. that’s why sukuna kept you around every day — as a form of entertainment, he called it. one thing led to the other and you eventually ended up as one of his concubines. the king of curses himself decided to grant you that promotion.
why? because not only does your fragile body, reserved and polite personality and innocence secretly fascinate him — it also makes him crave you. crave to shatter that naivety of yours. to take that small body of yours and make it feel what it means to be overpowered by a man twice your size.
sukuna does not regret his decision to make you his concubine. the first night you spent together was one of the best nights he had ever had. in all his many years of living. not a single woman had ever succeeded in blowing his mind when it came to sex.
it was usually boring and repetitive for the sorcerer. he felt nothing for those women he’s had in bed before — it was solely for the fact of satisfying himself. though, that changed on the day you had given him your virginity.
he remembers every detail; from your little noises of both pain and pleasure, your tight and untouched pussy that bled faintly when the fat tip of his lower cock pushed through, your nails that dug into his arms and back, your thighs that he held to your chest, his large hands that could easily wrap around the fat of them, your aching cunt that was left spasming around air as it tried to keep his sticky cum stored in place.
sukuna didn’t think your tears would affect him as much. when he took your virginity and you whimpered in pain — he did feel a twinge of guilt. it was strange; he hadn’t felt that emotion before. he had stopped and wiped your tears away. roughly whispered some words of encouragement too.
he had never done so before. never. he had never told anyone how ‘good’ they were for him. how he’d be ‘careful’ to not make it hurt any more. the king of curses recalls vividly how slow he started with you. slow sex. instead of rough like he’s used to.
sukuna wasn’t chasing after his own pleasure in that moment like he’d usually have. his main priority was to make sure the girl below him was comfortable enough to continue. you’re strange. the things you make him do, say and feel are strange. and yet. . .
it was an amazing night. the best. however sukuna was left behind with an insatiable hunger for you. more, more, more. he can’t grasp it yet; why he longs for you. for those feelings he’s suddenly capable of experiencing during intimate moments.
it’s why he calls for you every night. no other concubine was needed after you were made one. the king of curses couldn’t care less about those other women. they are boring to him.
unlike you. the one he’s sure that he won’t ever get bored of.
“you can take me so well now,” sukuna breathes out. one of his cocks was inches deep inside you, bulbous tip painfully hitting your cervix. over the past few weeks, your body had learnt to adjust to him, your pussy molded to fit the shape of his dick.
sukuna looks down at you and his cocks twitch with the urge to release already. his heavy balls clenching. your fucked out state is adorable. you seemed so.. vulnerable underneath the big man, “what a fragile little thing.”
it almost sounded condescending. degrading. especially with sukuna’s lips being curled up into a mean grin, his sharp canines showing. there was a puddle of your cum forming underneath your hips — staining the sheets that the poor servants have to clean by tomorrow morning.
“p-please, fngh, ‘s too big,” you sputter out. no matter how many times you took sukuna in, your smaller body couldn’t quite fully accommodate to the girth of him. every time he hits your deepest parts, you let out a painful whimper.
sukuna kisses his teeth, though slows his thrusts a bit. the wet sounds of his cum and yours getting pushed in and out of your cunt with each move was too addicting. what sukuna loves most is the view of the skin of your lower abdomen swelling and stretching each time he pushes forward.
“i thought you said you’d take both of my cocks today, yet it seems like you can’t even handle one,” the king of curses sighs whilst belittling you. one set of hands is holding you down by your hips, the other set is fondling your stiff nipples and circling your sensitive clit, “what a pity. a real pity.”
you almost choke on your spit as all your sensitive spots were being fondled. sukuna’s thick fingers leave no place untouched as he increases the tempo again—his cock plunging in and out of your stretched hole. the upper one was twitching, rubbing against your clit and lower abdomen.
sukuna harshly grabs your jaw and makes you look up at him after he hears you apologise for making empty promises. he seems satisfied with you staying so polite. even when he’s practically rearranging your guts. the way you talk through your soft sobs and cries is endearing. makes him grin wickedly.
“i don’t want to break my favourite little concubine yet, you see,” sukuna continues. he lets out a grunt of pleasure when your pussy clenches around his thick cock. no matter how many times he fucks you dumb, you still remain as tight as the first time.
he takes in a deep breath. he’s trying his best not to pound you into the mattress. he’d fold you in half and probably break you like the fragile thing you are. he could snap you like a twig if he wasn’t careful, “. . .but you’re making it very difficult for me.”
you respond by apologising again. oh, how cute it was to see you babble and make up excuses. sukuna grits his teeth, jaw clenching as he resists the urge to go harder on you. you’re already squirming and moaning loudly just because he’s fucking you hard and deep—bruising your cervix and forcing your walls to open up to him.
“‘m sorry, wanna take both.” you hiccup and sniffle. tears ran down your cheeks from overstimulation. it felt so good yet so painful to be taken by the person you admire most. you didn’t want to displease him, so you uttered those hopeless yet needy sentences again.
sukuna stops his movements when you weakly ask him to use both of his cocks on you. he scoffs, not knowing where you gained the confidence from. he pulls out of your dripping cunt, leaving a trail of cum connecting both your genitalia.
“‘wanna take both,’ she says,” sukuna mocks you under his breath. it’s getting worse; he’s nearing the point of no return. especially with your desperate whines that were like music to his ears, “you’ll break, woman.”
two of his hands move to stroke along his lengths, smearing the mixture of body fluids all over them. his eyes glare down at your small form—already fucked out, yet aching to continue. needing the full experience for once.
you always turn from a shy girl to a complete slut whenever he has you in bed. sukuna loves it.
“i want to try at the very least,” you mutter. it’s true that you’re exhausted. you’re catching your breath now that you got the chance, tired eyes glancing up at sukuna’s enormous stature between your legs, his defined muscles and the tattoos on them glistening under the faint light of the oil lamp.
it got your pussy throbbing and clamping down around air. you felt a bit light headed and your head lolls back against the pillow, eyes glazed over as you try to seem determined. but your body was tired.
“yeah? how. . . cute,” sukuna grins. he knows you can’t. not today at least. he doesn’t mind if you aren’t capable of taking him fully since you’ve already pleased him well enough for now. though, he still can’t help but tease you—make it seem like he’s going to give you what you want, “all right. don’t say i didn’t warn you.”
your eyes widen and your fingers curl around the silky bedsheets beneath you in anticipation. your heart is pounding in your chest as you watch sukuna pump his two cocks a bit faster, squeezing the base a bit, leaking some pre.
it’s all just for show.
“i’m not stopping. even if you scream.” the king of curses warns you with a dangerous glint in his eyes. you gulp at the terrifying aura sukuna was emitting. one of his tips teases your entrance whilst the other probes and circles around your anus.
he threatens you again, testing if you’ll back down, “last chance. i’m not pulling out once i’m in, do y’hear me?”
you keep being stubborn until the very last second. sukuna’s deep voice that shook you to your core was not enough to make you change your mind. you were so desperate to fulfill his every need and make sure that he was satisfied. it made you the perfect woman in his eyes.
the king of curses is completely amused. he decides to take it up a notch. he pushes his lower cock against the tight ring of muscles, pressing and nearly allowing the tip to move in. the sudden increase in pressure is torturous. you surely wouldn’t be able to withstand the entire thing.
“w-wait!” you squeal in surprise and pain. the sting you felt made you snap back into reality. it’s when you realised that maybe you needed more time and experience to take both of sukuna’s dicks. you squirm your hips away, “can’t. i can’t.. hurts too much.”
sukuna nearly rolls his eyes once you finally give in. he shakes his head with a sigh, feigning disapproval and annoyance. he pulls his entire body away from yours—a ominous shadow casted over his eyes. it makes you think that he’s pissed off at you; for being unable to please him.
you panic a little. even if you are sure sukuna wouldn’t ever hurt you. you know he favours you over the other concubines. you don’t want to lose that position.
“i’m sorry.” you apologise before the sorcerer could say anything. he lets out a sharp breath, rough hands back on your body, kneading your flesh gently yet firmly. his eyes take in the view of you trembling.
it’s unreal. you are half his size—completely vulnerable underneath him. he’d normally call people like you weak and useless. wouldn’t feel a thing for them. but your naked body below his is a sight he wishes to see every night.
it turns sukuna on so much. the fact that you are helpless and don’t complain when you’re struggling to take one of his cocks gets him going each time.
“tsk. what’d i tell you?” sukuna grumbles. he slaps his lower cock firmly against your clit. your body responds by closing your thighs together, though the king of curses pries them apart again, “stop overestimating yourself, brat.”
he isn’t actually mad. it was expected—of course you couldn’t take both at once. he didn’t even prep your other hole enough. plus you are clearly still exhausted from the previous rounds. sukuna just likes to. . . test and take advantage of your devotion to him. your obedience and desires to please him.
it’s fascinating to see you squirm and apologise in that whiny voice of yours. it makes him grin from ear to ear. and it keeps things fun.
before you could mutter excuses again, sukuna stops you by leaning in. just when you thought you’d finally get to kiss him, he goes to bite down on your bottom lip. a moan slips out of your mouth which only spurs him on to bite down harder.
you could feel the devilish smirk on sukuna against your lip. his wet tongue cleans up the tiny drop of blood that escaped the wound. he lets out a low hum in approval at the taste. delicious as always.
“now, how should i punish my little concubine for being unable to keep her word?” sukuna whispers in a serious tone. it sends shivers down your spine, his hot breath traveling from your jaw to your right ear. he slowly licks your earlobe, “what do you say? any ideas?”
the tension in the room was palpable. your heart was stammering in your throat from the proximity between the two of you. you gather the courage to answer as sukuna’s fingers curl around your neck, squeezing your throat as if forcing the answer out of you.
“i-i’ll do anything, sir.” you reply through a shaky breath. the king of curses pulls back after he’s got a response from you. your eyes meet his and that’s when you know that you’ve either greatly pleased him or have given him the chance to go all out on you.
it’s probably both.
“anything, you say?” sukuna repeats slowly. without a warning, he effortlessly flips you over on your stomach, a set of hands pulling your ass up by your hips whilst the other set holds your upper body down on the mattress.
a harsh grip on the back of your head results into you whimpering. your face was mushed into a pillow, almost leaving no place to breathe. your back is placed in the perfect arch with your plump ass facing up. it’s one of sukuna’s favourite positions to do with you — especially because it makes you seem smaller than you already are.
“heh. i’ll make you regret saying that.” sukuna chuckles. a low, evil and wicked chuckle. that’s enough to make you realise that he was not going easy on you. your submission had greatly impressed the king of curses and he's taking advantage of it. again.
what would come next could be a reward for that said submission. he’s going to fuck your brains out and make you forget about everything else except for his dick. a night you won’t ever forget as long as you live—that’s a possibility.
or perhaps you’re going to be crying and begging him to go easy on you. a punishment for not being able to keep your promise. that could also happen.
anyway, you’re about to find out which one it is.
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