okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.

i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.

that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.

i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.

what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.

now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.

but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.

but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.

and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.

there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.

and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.

i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.

listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.

Tangled Salt Marathon - You're Kidding Me

So we’ve finally come to the last of season two’s filler episodes. Let’s see if we can knock this one out real quick. 

Summary: The front door of the mysterious seashell estate vanishes, trapping the group. They try to find another way out but find a spinning top whose magic regresses Cassandra and Lance into toddlers and Shorty into a baby.  They’ve only have an hour to find the top and reverse the effects or the changes become permanent. Unfortunately neither of Rapunzel’s or Eugene’s parenting methods keep their now childish friends on task. 

So Why Did No One Stand Watch Last Night?

They were all sleeping right next to the entrance, and after the run in with the mirror monsters, you would think that they would have taken turns standing watch. 

But nope, the front door vanishes when no one was looking cause they don't have any foresight. 

A Low Budget Doesn’t Excuse Filler

Like most of season two, this is yet another episode that adds very little to the overall story. It’s slightly better than the Return of Quaid or Curses, but not by much. I put it on the same level as The Forest of No Return, as I do like the mains’ development, but there’s really no reason why such episodes exist to begin with. 

The meta reason for staying in certain places for three episodes, instead of only one or two, is because of budgetary reasons. The crew have to build new sets and models for every new location or person the cast comes across. This costs money to make, so the higher ups wanted to reuse assets. Which is understandable, but not an excuse for utilizing them poorly.  

If you need to stay in one area or have characters reappear, then you need to give story reasons for that. Ones that tie back to the overall narrative and/or the mains’ character arcs. 

The shell house and Matthews should be more important than what they are as they both have connections to the ultimate big bad of the series.Adria shouldn’t be wasted for a whole episode when she’s the only one driving the plot in season two and has limited appearances. Vardaros and its people shouldn’t be a one and done thing if you’re going to spend so much time setting them up. And there’s still one off episodes, locations, and characters who aren’t brought back and add nothing 

Not only does this make for a weaker story, it also undermines the cost saving measures that you tried to implement to begin with.  

This Isn’t Representation! 

Get it?! 

She’s a top! 

She’s totally gay, but like not really, cause this can also be interpreted as a dominatrix joke, and there’s no other real indication of her orientation outside her like smiling at her best friend/crush/sister sometimes and keeping that rose her creepy ex-boyfriend gave her. 

And don't give me any bullshit excuses about Disney not letting the crew make Cassandra canonly gay/bi. 

The Owl House aired just this year, the same year as Tangled’s final season. Also Globby and Carl from Big Hero Six were both confirmed to be a couple on screen a month after this episode came out. Both shows would have been in development at the same time as Tangled was. Both would have been subject to the same regulations and restrictions while writing their stories. 

It isn’t “Disney” that stopped the storyboard artists from having Cass be a confirmed lesbian, it’s Chris and Ben, the head writers themselves, who failed to write it into the story properly, if at all. 

Chris is the one who made Raps and Cass “sisters”. Chris is the one who wouldn’t tell the crew about his ‘twists’. Chris is the one who had Cass crush on Andrew, even after he tried to kill her. Chris is the one who made Cassandra ‘straight’ and has since used gay baiting to keep her fanbase in his pocket. 

Like I am really damn sick and tired of Casspunzel stans defending Chris on twitter, when he’s the very one who sunk thier ship to begin with. I’m also really fed up with certain fans trying to bully others for not accepting their “Cass is a lesbian” headcanons as fact because what the storyboarders say on twitter after the show is over with isn’t gospel and isn’t real rep. 

I don’t care if you ship Cass with Raps or headcanon her as being gay. Ships and headcanons are great and can be a lot of fun. But fuck you if you ever try to shame people for not sharing your ships/headcanons. Not only is it biophobic and acephobic to insist that there’s only ever a binary option when it comes to orientation and shipping, but it also reinforces harmful stereotypes and tropes about people in the queer community. 

Like, yes, I personally may be an introverted angry bitch who’s an LBGTQA member and activist, but that doesn’t mean that every introverted bitchy woman in media is a lesbian. What kind of message does that send people when that’s the only character archetype that’s given representation or is loudly proclaimed as ‘gay’ by the wider audience? Fuck that noise! 

I Know Humor is Subjective but...WHY?

Why did we give the baby a beard? How does that logically work? Did anyone outside of the crew actually find this funny? 

TTS has like this one out of touch dude throwing out jokes that don’t really land with the target audience. Fans have called it ‘boomer humor’ but it’s actually ‘Gen-X’ humor. Not only because Chris and Ben are Gen Xers but because this is the type of crap my older brother would find hilarious. 

Gen Xers are between Boomers and Millennials and so their humor is this weird blend of gross out shock humor, ironic nihilism, and out of date stereotypes that are only mildly better than those of the previous generation before them. They’re the generation who gave us Beavis and Butthead, South Park, and Clerks. 

That’s not a criticism of Gen X as a generation, but rather just an acknowledgment that they’re worlds away from the neo-dada absurdism, more socially conscious, and globalized humor of Gen Z.    

So Why Is the Bad Guy Telling the Heroes How to Foil His Plans? 

Like he not only tells them how to fix their problem and how long they got in order to do so, but he also informs them how it happened in the first place. This goes directly against his plans. Had he simply said nothing and stayed out sight, then Raps and Eugene would have been lost for the full hour and most likely not have saved everyone on time. 

I like to headcanon that Mathews is just “that asshole” that loves to taunt and tease but in a that manner that gives him plausible deniability. He also may just be bored, since he’s a ghost trapped in one place all the time. Yet that still doesn’t change the fact that he shot himself in the foot here. 

Raps and Young Cass’s Relationship Is the Same as Raps and Adult Cass’s, and That Is a Problem. 

Condescending, manipulative, hypocritical, and bossy is the way Rapunzel treats everyone. She doesn’t understand the actual difference between a child and an adult. She only understands who she who she can and can’t boss  around. And those people that she can’t place under her thumb are labeled antagonists by the show. 

Nor does she actually care about what either kid Lance or kid Cass has to say. She’s just being proformative, and young Cass can see through that BS, which why her methods do not work. It’s not because she’s not ‘strict’ enough; it’s because she’s not being honest. 

Meanwhile Child Cassandra is just as combative, rude, bullying, and entitled as Adult Cassandra. In season three she regresses even further and becomes more violent than before.

Unlike Rapunzel, Cassandra wasn’t trapped in a tower for 18 years with zero human contact outside of her abuser. She escaped that fate and was raised in a loving home. That doesn’t mean that there won't be scars, but I still expect her to be more mature than her seven year old self. Just because she’s whining about not being special enough at 24 instead of screaming about the floor being lava doesn’t mean that she’s still not throwing a temper tantrum.  

Like I should not be seeing a replay/foreshadowing of their main conflict here. They aren’t children. They’re dynamic isn’t that of a mother and child. It’s not even a big sister looking out for a little sister type relationship. Its two immature women dragging innocent victims into their bitchy cat fight for dominance over the other.  

If you want me to take their issues seriously then give them real stakes to disagree over, mature behavior that I can root for, and a resolvement that doesn’t reverse any potential development that they could have had.    

Matthews Plan Makes Zero Sense

For starters, half the group being kids isn’t enough of a reason for Rapunzel to stay at the shell house. Even if the effects of the time top became permanent, then Raps and Eugene could just leave and take the kids with them. Either to finish the road trip, or go straight back to Corona. Not that there’s any real reason to get the Dark Kingdom anyways, nor is there a ticking clock stopping Raps from trying again later if she chose to. 

Rapunzel also is not obligated to become anyone’s mother. If she took them back to Corona than Cap would undoubtedly raise Cassandra all over again, and Lance and Shorty could be adopted by someone else. Any of the pub thugs might take them or even perhaps the King and Queen since they missed out on raising their actual daughter. Though for my money I’d get Monty or Xavier to take them in. They seem the most mature and both are shown to be good with kids. 

Then again Rapunzel has been shown twice now to not give a damn about abandoning orphans, so even the ‘dump them at an orphanage’ or ‘leave them alone in the woods to fend for themselves’ isn’t entirely off the table either. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. Sadly, only Eugene’s love for Lance might be the one thing to stop her from doing just so, and even that’s iffy. 

As for the missing door from earlier, if that was all that was stopping them from leaving then the time top shenanigans were fully unnecessary altogether. 

I Actually Like Eugene and Rapunzel’s Conflict Here; I Just Wish It Was In a Better Episode. 

Each of their viewpoints stem from their upbringing. 

Rapunzel is unique in that she was simultaneously emotionally abused and neglected while being physically spoiled. Especially once she found out that she was princess, where she was then handed nearly anything and everything she wanted. She doesn’t recognize that getting your every possible whim come true can be damaging. Nor does she have any comprehension of what living in poverty is like and how this many toys is wasteful to someone like Eugene who had so very little and stole to survive. 

She does however associate limits, boundaries, and orders with abusive behavior because she’s been denied autonomy and respect her whole life. She’s never seen what healthy parenting looks like and how rules can be applied correctly.     

To Rapunzel no orders is ‘freeing’ and ‘validation’ is all that is needed to get a child to listen to you. Which doesn’t work for her because she doesn’t understand that real communication is more than just giving a compliment now and then. 

Meanwhile Eugene lacked any sort of anchor at all. He was left to his own devices at a young age and had no one to rely on for emotional needs and, after leaving the orphanage, no one to provide physical needs either. 

It’s telling that he and Lance latched onto Quaid as the only authority figure in their life, despite Quaid never out right adopting them. He was the only sense of stability that they had who they could trust wouldn’t hurt them, despite being strict with them. 

And now that Eugene has gotten older and is reformed, he can probably understand why Quaid was so harsh on him and Lance. Quaid probably did more to try and help them turn from a life crime than even Rapunzel did. Like meeting Rapunzel was the inciting incident that inspired Eugene to make that leap, but the groundwork was already laid out for him to do so elsewhere. Things like his good communication skills, respect and empathy of others, and understanding of boundaries had to be learned from somewhere, and if not from the Sheriff of Vardaros than who? 

What I’m getting at is that, while Rapunzel rejects her parents methods but then fails to break her learned habits from them anyways, Eugene is the reverse. He’s come to embrace his mentor’s teachings, but he fails to implement them correctly because he’s not Quaid. Being authoritative isn’t his strong suit. It goes against his usual nature as the easy going person that he is and so any attempts to come across as forceful fail as they’re hollow. 

Kids know authenticity and genuineness when they see it. The children reject Rapunzel because she’s not being real with them, yet they also reject Eugene cause he’s not being honest with himself. 

It’s a complex and mature conflict. Neither person is fully right nor wrong, and only by learning from each other and adopting both methods can they achieve their goal. 

TTS can be deep when it wants to be. There’s a good foundation here for mature themes and complex characterization. It’s just the series doesn’t ever commit to it. 

Whatever personal drama going on here about two young adults trying to cope with their past traumas and how that affects their current life and future goals is completely lost in the magical goofy antics and low stakes situation. Even the stuff about Eugene and his relationship with Quaid is reduced to nothing but a one off joke rather than being genuinely explored as a point of development.  

Imagine how much more powerful things would have been if Angry and Red were brought along on the trip. If this argument was over them and whether or not they should adopt the two girls themselves or consider other options. That would be something with real weight. Something with a choice that had actual consequences attached to it. Something that would permanently affect all involved parties. Something that wouldn’t make the two leads look like outright dicks for abandoning two children for a second damn time in a row.    

You Have 70 Feet of Magical, Indestructible Hair! Why Are You Afraid of a Bunch of Dogs!?

You’ve fought off giant monsters, killer robots, and supernatural beings with magical powers. What do you mean you can’t hold off a pack of guard dogs while busting down a stuck door? Why is Eugene the shield for everyone and not the actual unbreakable hair that you use as a shield all the damn time? And Why did we have to rely on Shorty again to be the deus ex machina of the episode? 

At this point the writers should have just made him Demantius instead of the monkey.   

What Happened To This New Dream? Where Did It Go In Season Three?

Most fans who do enjoy season two happen to be big New Dream fans as this is by far and away the best season for them. I’ll admit that the series, up to this point, had me actively liking them together, despite being originally lukewarm to the pairing in the movie. 

Their conflicts were for the the most part mature and real. They learned from one another equally and had open communication when it didn't involve ‘marriage is a trap’ BS. Things, like compromising on differentiating future goals, honesty and communication, and making time for one another and extending effort into a relationship while being true to yourself are all relatable issues. 

Even today's episode featured the topic of having kids and parenting. Which is a discussion you absolutely need to have with your prospective spouse before entering into any long term commitments and signing any legal contracts. For real, I’ve seen marriages fall apart because they didn’t agree on whether or not they wanted children. 

I don’t know what went down between writing season two and season three, but things quickly took a sharp turn away from this dynamic and nosedived into a pit of uncomfortable bullying and gross sexist implications here after. 

Matthews Plan Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan 

Yeah so Matthews is one of Zhan Tiri’s disciples, but he apparently doesn’t know of her goals/plans, cause she needs Rapunzel and company to reach the moonstone, not stay stuck here. 

The meta reason for this that the Zhan Tiri’s story was altered at the last minute and the writers failed to make sure there was any sort of consistency between what they already set up and where they actually wound to actually taking the plot.  

The in universe reason is that Zhan Tiri is an impotent moron, but that’s not what the writers were going for so it’s a fail. 

Conclusion  

I like the New Dream stuff, and Matthews is at least entertaining despite being incompetent. Everything else about the episode is ‘meh’ tho. 

Thoughts on the Alex Rider TV show...

Some background: I’ve been reading the books since Point Blanc came out, so we are going back a few years (actually quite a few more years than I care to credit). I thought the Stormbreaker movie was a pretty awful adaptation all round. Definitely lacked the grit of the book series. Imagine my fear of what they were going to do to Point Blanc, one of my favourite books of the series...

So, thoughts (in no particular order):

1. Otto Farrant is brilliantly cast. OK, one can nitpick. He’s been aged up, but I think that works - the TV series has tried to go grittier than the movie, and if we’re honest, a 14 year old being treated the way Alex is would just be extremely uncomfortable viewing. The books are written for children - they put up with a lot more than adults. And Farrant manages to strike an excellent balance between being old enough to make the whole thing believable, and young enough to provoke the right amount of outrage. His portrayal of Alex is really very good - the unwillingness to let something drop when he’s curious about it, the coldness, the desire to just be a schoolboy, the fundamental streak of doing what’s right. Sorry, Alex Pettyfer, but no matter how good looking you were, you weren’t Alex Rider for me. Otto Farrant has nailed it.

2. Alex generally. The writing is pretty faithful to his character. There are a few tweaks - he’s a bit more of a rebel than he is in the books. The foam party - one can see Alex doing that in the book because it’s part of the bad-boy act he’s supposed to be putting on, but I’m not sure that was the motivation for the foam party; I think he did it because it was fun and he’s someone who likes to rock the boat a bit. But I liked this Alex. It made his snarkiness and impulsiveness that much more believable. And, let’s be honest, what kid is taught to withstand interrogation techniques without becoming a bit of a loose cannon? One thing that was changed that I’m still not sure about was his determination to go back to Point Blanc. Book Alex didn’t want to go back; TV Alex says he’s going with or without MI6′s help because he’s got friends there. This was admirable, and I think probably the right move (I don’t think “leaving it to the professionals” would have come off well on screen when he’d made such good friends), but I did miss the scene from the book where Jones more or less manipulates him into going back in.

3. Jack. I love Jack as a character. It’s a bit more of recent phenomenon - I think since I became about the age that Jack is and suddenly woke up to what she must have felt - but the book Jack puts up with so much without complaint. The thing is, she’s a very tricky character to portray, because it’s a fine balance between making her powerless and useless. I think they did a good job here. They’ve changed things - Jack gets her degree at the start, and hints to Ian that it might be time for her to think about leaving. It’s not faithful to the book, but it’s a brilliant move, because as soon as Ian dies and she sticks around, you think - wow. She’s just given up her plans for this kid. She really cares. And that’s what the book series hints at throughout but has only addressed explicitly in recent books. I also like that they showed her having a bit more agency, which is realistic. I mean, she’s got a law degree. She’s not helpless. Ronkẹ Adékoluẹjo does a good job here. OK, she’s not the red haired Jack we know of the series. But so what? Representation matters (on a side point of which, good job in making Alex’s crush at school black too). And didn’t that thing about Immigration strike just a bit harder because Jack was black? Didn’t it make it that much more realistic and scary? This shit happens, people.

4.Ian. I didn’t have strong views about this. I’ve seen that others didn’t like how his death was changed. I’d argue they wanted to get away from what had already been done in the Stormbreaker movie, and, anyway, it set up the mystery of Scorpia’s involvement and the MI6 leak quite effectively. I don’t care about the speeding/seatbelt change. They probably did it because these days any decent car (like Ian’s was) screams at the driver if they’ve not got their seatbelt on.

5. K Unit generally. We didn’t get too much of Fox, Eagle and Snake, but we got a bit, and what I saw, I really liked. I liked that two of them were women (one of them an excellent sniper!). This show generally handles women much better than the book series - far more balance. I liked the introduction of K Unit - the whole interrogation scene was really well done, from K Unit following orders but being quite uncomfortable with the whole thing, to Alex’s reaction to it, to his escape. I think the lack of SAS training camp was again an attempt to shift away from the Stormbreaker movie and, although it has spawned a lot of fanfiction, it doesn’t actually serve any purpose that couldn’t be addressed elsewhere. For K Unit lovers, I think this move was a good thing. It is pretty difficult to justify K Unit’s attitude towards Alex at Brecon Beacons, and translating that situation to one of trust between Alex and Wolf would be very difficult. This approach worked because, although K Unit was introduced in circumstances where you think they’re acting badly (following orders to interrogate Alex), you’re immediately introduced to the idea they’re not comfortable about it - so they might be good guys after all.

6. Wolf. So this gave us ALL the feels (the apology, the blanket wrap at the end...), but I (possibly controversially) think they could have done more here. I would have liked to have seen a bit more of what we saw in the book - Wolf not liking Alex, and then them turning that around. Don’t get me wrong - obviously, the more Alex/Wolf trust, the better. But I thought they made Wolf into a bit more of a softie than they really needed to. They had 8 episodes - they had time to build more of a character arc for him. 

7. Jones. Mixed feelings. Vicky McClure is really good, and I think the way they’ve set it up, there’s room for a good character arc here; at the moment, the Department is portrayed as basically being under Alan Blunt’s rule, with others disagreeing with his approach but getting overruled. If they make it far enough, Mrs Jones is going to need to have adopted some of his ruthlessness by the time Blunt gets the sack at the end of Scorpia Rising. A bit like Wolf, I thought Mrs Jones could have been a bit more complex than she was. But I’m happy to wait and see what they do in (hopefully) future seasons.

8. Setting. Generally pretty well done. Thank GOD they were wearing proper school uniform (what were the directors of the Stormbreaker movie thinking...this is Britain, y’all). The Point Blanc academy was suitably creepy and isolated. My only criticism re setting was that the “Department” was in a basement. I can see why they did it (dark and mysterious setting, OK), but it didn’t strike me as a particularly realistic place to run a Government department from. Even MI6 has a decent building in Vauxhall.

9. Kyra. I didn’t want to like this deviation in principle - I was really suspicious they were just setting up a love interest (the same way as in the Stormbreaker movie, where they elevated Sabina’s character in a way that just wasn’t appropriate). But Kyra was a brilliant addition. Complex but good-hearted. And nothing cringey happened - even that nearly kiss before Alex leaves Point Blanc was actually pretty believable and went just far enough. Be interesting to see if she comes back - that hanging ending, man. Poor Kyra. On a side point, I think for the purposes of the TV series it was quite important to give Alex a good friend at the academy. Solitary spying works well on the page, but not so much on screen - viewers need dialogue. I thought the way they did it worked well.

10. Plot. Yes, there were tweaks. But I thought the way it was put together was well done. There was no dramatic baddie revealing all at the end. I liked the way it gradually unfolded, and that although MI6 had managed to piece some of it together, it was ultimately Alex who solved it through the spying he’d done. Interesting that they have decided to introduce Scorpia so early on, but it’s given us something to drive the series forward rather than it just being one mission after another, so probably a good move.

11. Tom. The relationship between Tom and Alex was well done (when Alex comes to Tom’s rescue at the end!). O’Connor is good (though, please, PLEASE can we ditch what my husband and I have dubbed the gnome hat?). I thought he got slightly too much air time at this stage, personally - and turning up at the Friends’ house was a bridge too far for me. But I can forgive this. I liked the way they targeted Tom because he and Alex are such best friends. This bromance was something missing from the series and it was a welcome introduction.

I could go on, but I think this is long enough. If anyone has anything they’d like to chat about or to hear my opinion on, do PM me or comment on this post. Meanwhile, I’m off to rewatch the series.

Here are my thoughts on the whole supernatural thingy:

(Spoilers for spn and she-ra i guess)

I don't know if I'm happy for it even existing, if I'm mad at the writers for not doing it sooner, if I'm mad at myself for being slightly pleased that the bare minimum exists when we clearly deserve so much more.

But mostly I think I'm just annoyed and angry. My devotion to the fandom and the show died many years ago and now I just casually read something here and there about the show. Even though I watched 9 seasons non-stop and was a very dedicated Destiel shipper.(and yes Carry on my wayward song is still great and now I can associate it with the actual developed gay couple of Carry on - Rainbow Rowell) So, when I heard "Destiel is Canon" it felt like I never left seeing how excited I was. Then, I was surprised. I felt like it came out of fucking nowhere. And very late at that. I go watch the rest show. Surprise surprise it did come out of nowhere. I had a hard time processing it. And now Imma lay down my reasoning behind being mad even though no one actually gives a shit.

First, right out of the gate, what pisses me off is the lack of actual build up. Yes, the fans have been calling it for years. But the fans were also searching for breadcrumbs due to a lack of representation. Fans were projecting and trying to find subtext. I was one of them. Never there was explicit enough reasons to canonically think they were a thing or would ever become one. And now the writers went there and gave us a feeling of false vindication by saying "you were right all along, we were dropping hints" when it has certainly not been the case. I doubt (like rly rly doubt) that their intention when writing spn back then was to make destiel a thing. They hadn't even planned for half the shit that went down but y'all want me to believe destiel of all things was the exception? Meh. But even if I'm being really generous and giving them the benefit of the doubt, it still stands that they could have done it a long long time ago. Which takes me to the second reason why I'm mad.

The timing is ridiculously convenient for the writers. The show has been running for FIFTEEN years, it has FIFTEEN seasons and they choose the third to last episode to make it happen? And then HE DIES AND IS SENT TO MEGA HELL after confesssing his gay feelings??? With only two more episodes left, I'll let you wager on how much of actual destiel we'll get. That is, if Dean EVER reciprocates, because it was not explicit at all.(c'mon Jensen, you can do better than that) The dying thing is a massive problem, but not as much as when it happens. Because this is still supernatural and everyone has died and come back to life at least five hundred thousand times before. They could have kept the scene as it was, only a few seasons before. Then we'd actually have decent moments of consequence to the confession, conflict, build up to an actual romantic relationship if they did not mean for it to be one sided, dean confronting his feelings and all that jazz. But no, we get the bare minimum and after this the show ends if people are upset about it, they will no longer have to deal with that shit.

Even though they knew destiel was immensely popular in the fandom for AGES, it seems that now that some popular lgbtq+ couples/shows have arisen and have been received (mostly) positively, they wanted to jump in the band wagon, but not so much that it would anger their straight prejudiced viewers. Cw shows, huh? It's like we're doing it, but we're not committing to it. And if you don't like it, we have already milked everything from you anyways, cause y'know the show is ending in a couple of weeks. AND WHAT IS WORSE. If Destiel didn't happen, I don't think it would be a Sherlock case where something feels off and weird and the lack of it feels forced. Since Dean has been stablished since the beginning as liking women and all indication of otherwise can fall under plausible deniability and fans reading too much into it, I don't really think they would receive big amounts backlash for not doing it or be criticized for it. Fans really have resigned themselves years ago that Destiel wouldn't ever happen. And if they are doing it just to avoid backlash is bad, but if not, then why? To make the show relevant again by trending Destiel? To play on the popularity of the ship? Idk and Idc. They can have the bestest of intentions, but it was done poorly. And now, since the lack of build up is a problem, it - and it reallly pains me to say this - feels forced/aka censored. (I hate myself right now for saying this aaaaaaaaaaaaaa).

It is not good representation. (And seeing as my tumblr is basically she-ra focused, I'm anticipating people saying that that also happens in she-ra. But when the show has never shied away from representation, good casual represation, like having two dads, two moms, a married lesbian couple, a non-binary character amongst other things, I can't find it in me to say it does not have good representation. And the characters only getting together at the end fits their development and personality. And we had a whole season to develop them coming to terms with loving the person who's supposed to be your enemy, but was once your best friend and now fights alongside you and you now realized you love. Supernatural feels like fucking pandering.)

However, it is kinda maybe sorta representation still. And - that depends on how they play it out on the next two episodes - I don't feel it is particularly damaging(except the mega hell thibgy, but again, it is spn); It was not advertised as an lgbtq+ show nor used the couple to promote their season, so yeah kay fine, I'm still gonna laugh at ya.

So, having already had a weak spot for Destiel in the first place, I can't stop feeling a bit happy that at least Cas fessed up and we might get something. It can't be used as a example of great representation, but I'm not mad the ship exists. I'm just really really mad at how it was done.(not only because y'know, I'm queer, but also because the fans and the couple deserve better.)

❛ sweet tooth ❜ ─ jax matsuo

author’s note: this is like my first choices fic and it’s pretty short and bad ( this is not me being fake modest or anything aksujd it’s genuinely bad, i’m not used to writing these types of fanfics) but i look forward to improving and writing better fics! constructive criticism is appreciated <3

day nine of thirty-one

tags:  @choicebyjade, @cora-nova​, @choichesdecemberchallenge

word count: 1236

book + li: bloodbound, jax matsuo

prompt: sweets

status: unedited

SWEET TOOTH

"Hey! Grab the cat, it stole my wallet!"

"Farah! Come back here, the cookies will burn!"

"Who cares about the cookies, Adrian doesn't pay me as much as y'all think he does!"

To say the 24th of December was the most accurate representation of the word "chaotic" would be the understatement of the century. Despite the delicate glow of the Christmas lights hung all over the walls in the room, the Christmas tree that was... quite messily decorated, if you really think about it ( but hey! it's the thought that counts, right?), and the soft chatters of excitement outside their door, Jax Matsuo and Farah Amari's day was not as cozy as their beautifully adorned room indicated. And it had all started when they were tasked with the job of baking the sweet deserts to be served at their feast that night.

Keep in mind, of all things that woman could do, handle herself in a kitchen was not one of them.

"Jax! Hey!" Farah had called out joyfully, running to her boyfriend's side the moment she saw him after entering the Shadow Den. She was wearing a ridiculous, vibrant red Santa Claus hat, a comically over-sized and horribly ugly Christmas sweater, and a pair of jeans she had stolen from him ( he had pretended not to pay attention, but frankly, he loved it). When he spotted her charismatic ensemble, an unattractive snort unwillingly escaped him, to which she slapped his arm playfully, brown eyes sparkling jovially under the soft illumination of the fairy lights strung up near them. Before she could have the chance to fight off the urge, a wide, pure smile stretched across her plump, gloss-coated lips, which was quite contagious if you asked him. Although warmth spread throughout his body like a wildfire at the sight of her gorgeously genial eyes and her childlike jumping, he swallowed the affection that he was so tempted to shower her in and instead resorted to tease her.

"What's up, Alabaster Snowball?" Jax sniggered childishly, earning chuckles from the members of his Clan that happened to be passing by, softly smiling at their adorable interactions. Despite knowing her puny human strength would not so much as make a dent in his athletically toned body ( let's not forget his superhuman, vampiric strength as well ) she sent a weak punch to his arm and pouted melodramatically.

"Ouch, right where it hurts!" He continued to poke fun at her mercilessly, which gained him a chucklesome glare from his much shorter girlfriend and a series of feeble attempts at punches.

"Anyway," huffed Farah after expressing her feigned anger by treating Matsuo like a punching bag, "I just got a call from Adrian. He said Mila is out sick and can't bake the sweets for tonight, so we're gonna have to do it."

His facial expression contorted into an unpleasantly shocked one. "What? This is on such a short notice!"

"Dude, we've like, killed an army of Ferals and pretentious vampire hunters, I think we can bake a bunch of cookies before tonight." Farah tried to lift his spirits - key word here being tried. He grimaced at her unrealistically optimistic behavior, given her past experiences in kitchens - from burning cakes to half-cooked rice to impossible bitter scrambled eggs ( how do you even mess up scrambled eggs? and make them bitter? ), little miss Amari was not a force to be reckoned with when it came to cooking and baking, and Jax meant that in the worst possible way.

"Full offense, Farah, our kitchen has almost perished a whopping fifty-two times because of you," said Jax, cringing bitterly at the memories of her miserable failures. She tilted her head slightly, softly wavy hair flowing like black ink on a tilted piece of parchment, and frowned innocently at his critical choice of words.

"You counted?" 

"We don't really have insurance in case you burned down the entire place, might I remind you."

"Come on, pleeeease?"

"No."

"Pleeaaaaaaase?"

"Absolutely not."

And then there they were, standing side-to-side in poor Jax Matsuo's kitchen with the ingredients needed to bake scrumptious cookies were carelessly scattered about. Jax, with brows knitted in utter worry and arms crossed stiffly against his chest, let out a long huff that screamed I-don't-know-why-I-keep-putting-up-with-you-at-this-point. Farah, on the other hand, was positively beaming as she protected her atrocious outfit with an equally appalling apron.

"Cheer up, Jaxxie, how bad can it be?" She had giggled mischievously, carrying two eggs in her hands and waving them around tauntingly. With the speed of lightning itself, he grasped both her hands in his and closed the gap between them. A yelp escaped her parted lips at the abrupt movement, and upon registering the closeness between them suddenly felt heat rush to her cheeks. An almost melodic laugh that made her heart skip a beat or two sounded through the room as a reaction to her adorable sheepishness, and - to her dismay - he backed away with the eggs now in his own palms.

"Get to work, young one, we have a shit ton of cookies to bake."

Needless to say, that was the last sentence that was said before complete madness broke out. It had started out calm, with the two humming in rhythm to cheerful Christmas songs and exchanging encouraged smiles as well as furtive glances at the clock that seemed to be going too fast, then it had suddenly escalated to the pair tripping over their own feet as they rushed to get their job done in the remaining two hours they had. The younger of the two was doing surprisingly well - only because that time, she decided to obediently follow his wise instructions - until a stray cat came screeching into their room, snatched her prized wallet into its small mouth, and ran out.

Farah gasped dramatically, resulting in her dropping the bowl of batter she had been whisking and spilling its contents onto the floor. Jax cried out at the mess and wasted batter, looking frantically between the spilled contents on his previously squeaky-clean floor and his wide-eyed, hyper-active girlfriend.

"Farah, what the hell?" exclaimed Jax in complete and utter disbelief. His loud yell brought her back into reality and she ran out the door, fastest she's ever run, after the thief that robbed her of her possibly most precious item. 

"HEY! GRAB THAT CAT, IT STOLE MY WALLET!" She had shrieked, startling all the inhabitants of the Shadow Den that instantly stopped their preparations for the feast to gape with dropped jaws at the panicking woman. In amused confusion, they turned their attention to their leader, who ran out covered in flower, batter, and an apron covered in flowery prints that made some of the vampires snicker.

"FARAH! COME BACK HERE, THE COOKIES WILL BURN!" His nervous roar echoed throughout the underground village, causing an uproar of laughter and joy, which he would have admired if it weren't for the fact that it was his suffering they were guffawing at.

"WHO CARES ABOUT THE COOKIES, ADRIAN DOESN'T PAY ME AS MUCH AS Y'ALL THINK HE DOES!"

And suddenly there were shoes flying targeted at the fleeing cat, nervous outcries from a financially struggling assistant, and a whole lot of mayhem that was not suited for a cozy dinner on Christmas Eve.

Eurovision 2010s: 70 - 66

70. Zoë - “Loin d’ici” Austria 2016

Like many ranking high on this list, Zoë’s journey started in uncertainty. I don’t know what is about frivolous paperthin songs like these that make people dismiss their chances, but either way, many considered poor Zoë a borderline qualifier. I however, always knew she would make the finals 😊 And you know why? Because positivity, bitches. 

From Naviband to Lake Malawi to Laura Tesoro, Eurosnobs have a penchant for underrating “Happy Songs”, writing them off as silly and shallow. True, joy is a fairly simple empotion. Does that make it any less valuable however? Too often do we take happiness for granted. Zoë radiates mirth from every pore, adorably sprinkling her viennese fairy dust everywhere with every twirl, conjuring upside down frowns on even the grouchiest faces.

So basically, “Loin d’ici” is such a refreshing breath of air because it is so unpretentiously carefree. It isn’t bogged down by the strict standards that the musical industry imposes on so-called “quality songs”. Yes, “Loin d’ici” is repetitive and frivolous and has no deep underlying meaning (other than a shallow narrative about some faraway land), but it doesnt need to be anything else. Its mere existence makes people happy and I can’t think of a better quality in a song.

________________________________________________________________

69. IMRI - “I feel alive” Israel 2017

[2017 Review here]

Yes, that’s right “LIVE at the semifinal”. We rate songs according to their best performance here. (when it suits my interests 😈), which conventiently allows me to skip over IMRI’s awful finale performance. 😈 However... Imri’s voice breaking to pieces 😍 Self-prophesized irony is the best sort of irony.

Pictured: a metaphorical representation of IMRI’s vocal capabilities

Anyway, am I the only person who fucking LOVES Imri Ziv? I can’t be the only one, right? Leg-day skipping, sexually ambiguous (totally gay) meathead <3 There are two distinct reasons why I love him. The first and more obscure reason is his song. I mean, “I feel alive” is trashy mediterranean dance pulp 😍 with a wacky choreography 😍 and an underlying message that is about Imri’s ESC trajectory,😍 in which he has now pulled a hattrick 😍 Anthems of autofellation 😍 “I feel alive” made for a FANTASTIC closer, setting Kyiv en fuego with its dutiful dance droning. 

As for the second reason, well,..

I’m pregnant. ________________________________________________________________

68. Michela - “Chameleon” Malta 2019

Is your phone operator letting you down? Do you struggle getting a clean connection on the island of Gozo? Or would you simply wish to support our glorious entrant? JOIN VODAFONE NOW and get up to €500 if Michela wins in Israel!

I am still in shock at how GREAT “Chameleon” ended up being. I mean, I had my reservations for the song but give her WATER, SHE’S A SWIMMER

GIVE HER FIRE, SHE’S A FIGHTER

GIVE HER LOVE, SHE’S A LOVER

SHE NEVER WALKS AWAY NA NA

Other than the cutting edge, mesmerizing staging that totally SOLD me on the song and beyond, there is of course Michela herself. Now, I have read a TON of criticism about her performance “EW SHE’S SO WOODEN AND CLUNKY AND NERVOUS NOT CONFIDENT AT ALL EW EW EW DIE” which... only endeared here even more to me lmfao. Like, Michela wasn’t born a lioness like Bilal and ZENA were. She is an introverted eighteen year old who won X-Factor Malta performing only ballads, it is NORMAL to not feel perfectly at ease if you were in her shoes. SHOW SOME EMPATHY!!. You think people would learn from Ellie “Blanche” Delvaux (that shy teenagers have plenty of charisma not in spite of their vulnerability, but because of it), but I suppose they enjoy getting smacked in the face with the truthhammer when their objects of hate prove their undisputed awesomeness. 

PS: this is a mood:

________________________________________________________________

67. Eugent Bushpepa - “Máll” Albania 2018

[2018 Review here]

Eugent was is another of those entries I kind of overlooked during the preshow and ended up AWESOME. Though he comes with the advantage that I already liked his song prior the live show. Never the less, being Albania in the Red Wedding Semi, I had already resigned myself to his inevitable NQ though when suddenly

out of nowhere

he fucking OWNED the Altice Arena?

and I mean, I was in shock because um HELLO who are you and where were you all this time?? Of course, “Mall” is a good song in itself, a typical Albanian song: a quirky rock ballad that toes the line between dated and avant garde (though in this case it’s definitely *more* avant garde than dated), shot with cinematic precision.

However the main draw to “Mall” is obviously Eugent’s voice. Holy shit I swear this is something I don’t normally care about but Eugent hit the entire vocal spectrum with it, bullseye. He did things with his voice I never thought a human could do. It’s like Anja Nissen... on crack and if Anja Nissen had a good song, likable personality and epic sense of fashion. 

So, the conclusion I want to draw here is... is this the best male vocal performance of the decade? It might very well be. 

shouts to @admanholmo for reading and commenting regularly on my blog! I hope you’re not to disappointed I booted your favourite, but #67 isn’t too bad I think! Onward to (slightly) better things

______________________________________________________________

66. Minus One - “Alter Ego” Cyprus 2016

Entering with what is one of the BEST opening shots ever in a Eurovision song:

Minus One may appear underwhelming, being ranked right after Eugent and being in a year that has 😍NIKA KOCHAROV😍 in it, but holy shit I was INSTANTLY hooked by that epic close up and never gave up, nor gave in.  Actually that’s a lie because I fell in love with “Alter Ego” the SECOND it was released. 🤭 Thomas G:sson is often credited for penning “Euphoria” but his best genre is -without question- schlager. And yes, this wonderful, unique, beautiful blend of metal and schlager is exactly what WE ALL NEED in our lives. Denying it is pointless. BE SWEPT AWAY by the EPILEPSY

the LYCANTROPY

and just the general dark, moody INSANITY: 

WE’RE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAWN AND THE SUNRISE LIFE IS A MIRACLE I SAW IT IN YOUR EYES. 

I am not in love with Cyprus in this decade, nor do I think they were particularly good even though Eleni may make it appear that way. Cyprus have always been one of the most middling ESC nations to me, but it’s worth nothing that their highs are usually much higher than their lows are low. It’s just a question of getting highs consistently, which Cyprus normally don’t because the hellenic budget usually goes to Greece instead. With Greece going through a dark age however, I think they could reap the benefits and even clinch another top five soon though. 

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 205 “Cinematograph”

So, I’m back, scanlations are finally out and we can see that the new chapter, despite being still a light one, is likely preparing the ground for something big.

In fact we start with a colour cover of Tsurumi, curled up on a mountain of weapons (remember? Tsurumi wants the gold to buy more weapons and then he plans to open his own weapon factory).

Although Tsurumi is curled up, his position differs from Ogata’s almost foetal position when he was sleeping curled up while clinging to his rifle in chap 107.

The drawing is disturbing.

Tsurumi has no pupils or irises, his eyes completely white. It’s the first time we see this happening with him as far as I can remember but it usually happens when Sugimoto has completely lost it and his into berserk mode.

Although the background below the weapons is red (not a bloody red but it still makes me think of blood), no red or variations of pink are used on Tsurumi but they’re replaced by red’s complementary color, green, which us western associate to zombie representations. Tsurumi, the self defined Shinigami, comes out as an undead. It doesn’t help he’s showing his clenched teeth (another recurring symbol of the zombies’ hunger) or how the veins are very visible on his hands.

He seems a hungry undead, clinging to his weapons, pressing against them and burying himself in them (part of the weapons are above him), one arm also between his legs as if to try to grab the weapons that are there. Greed, hunger, those are the vibes I get from that picture and that reminds me of Tsukishima’s words about how Tsurumi (and Arisaka) have an addition to war (chap 94).

But now let’s move to the plot. Tsukishima and Sugimoto are plotting. Well, more than plotting they’re having a ‘secret’ meeting in which Tsukishima is reporting his and Tsurumi’s interpretation of what had happened to Asirpa. She was ‘kidnapped’ by Kiro because he hoped to awaken her memory so that she could remember the key to the code and he also wanted her her to meet with Sofia.

Tsukishima thinks that in the end Asirpa has remembered the code and this is why Ogata separated Asirpa from Kiro and why Asirpa mumbled something to Kiro that allowed him to feel relief before dying and entrust everything to her.

Long story short, Asirpa and Kiro had been careless.

Kiro had let his feelings come out when he had learnt his plan had worked, inadvertently ‘revealing’ with his body language what Asirpa has whispered to him… though I can’t really blame him much as the poor guy was dying and, in the end doesn’t fully seem to realize Asirpa can’t just leave and reach Sofia as he told her to do.

Asirpa, of course, can’t really be blamed as she’s a child but she has obviously revealed too much of what had happened (she didn’t need to say Ogata had parted her from Kiro deliberately, it was clear it would arise suspicions, she could have just told they got lost searching wood and then argued) and hadn’t been clever enough to hide behind a lie what she had told to Kiro (for example she could have said she would take care of his kids, of reporting he died fighting well, that she would do her best to remember the key even without him… whatever).

Of course, since Asirpa is a kid, it makes sense she was careless but really, I wonder how Wilk expected her to become the Ainu leader NOW.

Her actions clearly reveal she is still too naïve. She obviously didn’t tell Sugimoto the code and wants to hide she has remembered it but by partly revealing what had happened with Ogata and by not explaining what had happened with Kiro, she had given away the truth, she has remembered, Ogata knew about it which is why he has left the group with her and she has told Kiro the truth, which is why he found peace.

Tsukishima puts is sentence in shape of a question, just to check if Sugimoto knows if Asirpa has remembered or not, but his question is a retorical one. He’s sure she has, the real question is if she has told Sugimoto or not. I doubt Tsukishima trusts Sugimoto blindly, he’s studying him to see if he’ll give out he knows the code.

That’s why Tsukishima goes on and delivers the final blow, suggesting Ogata wanted to kill her because she told him about the code and therefore she became useless to him.

And this is interesting.

Of courseTsukishima is wrong in his assumption and I think he knows or getting the code would be even more urgent and he also wouldn’t have wanted Ogata to die as two people to question about which is the code are better than just one.

So why he’s suggesting this?

I wonder if Tsukishima’s speech was actually suggested by Tsurumi.

In fact by suggesting Asirpa opened her heart to Ogata and Kiro whom Sugimoto sees as bad guys, never mention he loathes Ogata, they’re likely trying to damage their bond. It would be a heavy blow for Sugimoto, who prizes himself as the person Asirpa trusts the most and views her as some sort of saviour, if Asirpa has chosen to open up with Kiro and Ogata but not with him.

By now Tsurumi had all the time to discover Sugimoto’s best friend married the woman Sugimoto loved while Sugimoto wasn’t there.

Suggesting Ogata got Asirpa’s faith while Sugimoto wasn’t there with her, and now Sugimoto can’t even win it back enough to have her open up with him too should feel similar of that situation only now the culprit wasn’t Sugimoto’s best friend but a person Sugimoto loathes and wants to kill.

It’s interesting how Sugimoto in the past scolded Koito for calling Ogata a ‘Yamaneko’, claiming it was a pathetic joke...

...but then, when asked why Ogata is searching the gold, goes and says ‘he’s just scratching around and playing’. Yes, the translation said ‘he’s just stirring up things for the fun of it’,

but the Japanese version uses ‘hikkaki mawashite asonderu’ (引っ掻き回して遊んでる “playing scratching around”, “playing clawing around”) which hints more to a cat behavior than to a human. In short he’s subtly agreeing with him being a ‘yamaneko’. It makes me think Sugimoto is trying to be a good person when criticizing the tasteless joke but, deep down, agrees to it.

I wonder why Sugimoto ALWAYS intensely disliked Ogata, right from the start.

His ‘spider sense’ is pretty bad, he couldn’t recognize Henmi or the fake Ainu as criminals and murders, nor he could realize Vasily is not Ogata so it’s not like his instinct is reliable.

Ogata isn’t the only person who left the 7th, Tanigaki did so as well yet Sugimoto harbours him no ill feelings and went along with Vasily, who shoot Shiraishi, just because Vasily is also hunting for Ogata.

Hijikata used Shiraishi to spy him, Shiraishi didn’t reveal he was also ‘working’ with Hijikata (well, he’d been blackmailed but...) Inkamart betrayed them all to Tsurumi but... Sugimoto is just obsessed with Ogata, with keeping him outside the group, putting him down, killing him. he can trust Kiro, he can trust Hijikata, he can’t trust Ogata.

I’ve always wondered if this was tied to the third feline in the story, Toraji, whose name meaning ‘next tiger’ (寅 “third sign of Chinese zodiac, which is the tiger” 次 “next”), If Ogata somehow managed to remind him of the negative sides of Toraji or of a negative experience tied to Toraji. We’ll see.

Anyway Sugimoto hurries to say there’s no way she would have told Ogata... as if Asirpa too should have loathed him, when actually Asirpa didn’t think ill of him at all.

Sugimoto’s gaze is lowered, he’s not looking at Tsukishima and his eyes are partially shadowed by his cap.

His words sound confident but his posture is not. He’s even frowning a tiny little.

He then goes on saying he’ll be the one to talk about it with Asirpa and Tsukishima doesn’t have to get in between them.

He’s still not looking at Tsukishima, who has however turned to look at him, and he’s looking glomy. I wonder if, despite his words, Sugimoto is afraid he won’t get Asirpa to open up to him.

But going back to the plot, it seems the guys believe they’re short on time as Tsurumi is about to come and, according to Sugimoto, although Asirpa hadn’t met Tsurumi yet, she wouldn’t open her heart to that type of man… implying that instead of course she would open up his heart to him.

Below the scene we see a creepy image of Tsurumi in which again his eyes are completely white and he’s showing his teeth and it seems as if, something is… well, rising out of him, like an evil energy or an aura, or maybe it’s just me.

I’m not sure if the idea is Sugimoto deep down finds Tsurumi creepy or think Asirpa would find him creepy or that Sugimoto is actually walking straight into Tsurumi’s trap.

Tsurumi is stalling them there and letting Sugimoto handle things the way he let Ogata handle his brother. Honestly I think nothing good will come out of this because Sugimoto thinks Asirpa will tell him the code and he’s not prepared for a ‘no’.

He’s aimed with good intentions as well as slightly selfish ones and he expects Asirpa to give in to his request… and doesn’t really seem to be considering Asirpa might say ‘no’, that she might decide not to give him the code.

Nor he’s really considering the Ainu cause, and how Tsurumi’s actions, should he get the gold, would reflect on them. Sugimoto is projected on the present, without really thinking at the future. He means well but lacks foreplanning. There’s no way he can win against a master at foreplanning like Tsurumi is… but the part that worries me the most is how he’ll try to get the code out of Asirpa.

Not only he doesn’t think she’ll say no but he had promised it to Tsurumi and she’s basically prisoner of the 7th. Tsukishima and Koito might play nice with her for now but wait for when Tsurumi will be there and will demand the code. What is Sugimoto going to do then?

Have her escape? Fight Tsurumi and his men? Honestly I fear we’ll end up into a very dark part of the story soon, hence that’s why the previous chapter and this one will contain such a light note.

It’s also interesting how Sugimoto is refusing to believe Asirpa might open up to Tsurumi. Evidently he doesn’t know yet how easily this guy can have a youth open up with just one sentence or two...

...and can even go so far as to present himself as a saviour...

...a best friend....

...someone who can help you shoot your mother leave the nest.

Honestly I don’t think right now Sugimoto will manage to get the code out of Asirpa but... I’m not sure if Asirpa would manage to resist Tsurumi.

I’ll say she would merely because the story has made a parallel with Tsurumi being the devil and Asirpa being Jesus and therefore she should resist temptation but I think Tsurumi, AT THE MOMENT, has way better means at his disposition to get Asirpa to talk than Sugimoto.

Anyway the story switches to the two cinematographers explaining Asirpa and the rest of the group about cinematographs, how cinematics of Japan had gotten trendy and how moving pictures work by showing them a projection FOR FREE, likely as a thank you for Asirpa’s help against the wolverine as normally they ask money for this.

They also introduce themselves as the cinematographer Girel and the director Inaba Katsutarou, showing how @osomanga guessed correctly the people on whom they were based.

Asirpa is impressed by the projection and asks if they have also filmed folk tales but she’s informed they didn’t as the machine can’t record sound.

I wish I could inform Asirpa there’s a way to record sounds as well as the gramophone existed from 1887 so she could technically record sounds as well and let them too survive, although parted from images… but well, I’m not in the GK cast.

Anyway Asirpa decides she wants to film an Ainu legends so as to leave it for future generations. Inaba is doubtful and suggests what I mentioned previously, to just use a phonograph to record the audio as Ainu don’t even have plays (he mentions he recorded a Kabuki play previously).

Asirpa thinks the meaning will get across better with a video though and that people who speak a different language would still get the meaning behind their stories if they were to see the images and I’m really sorry to tell her this but while images get across a meaning MORE than just audio, if you don’t understand the audio, part of the contest still remains very obscure unless you’re VERY GOOD at transmitting things with just the visual.

The idea she can do this with random people who aren’t professional actors is well, beyond optimistic.

Proofs are when not Japanese speaking people saw the raw of this chapter, while many could get the general gist of the story, at the same time they couldn’t really understand well what was going on in the myths she was narrating…. And how people need subs when an apisode of an anime is out to fully understand what’s going on.

Silent film still used to use silent cards as they acknowledged dialogues or explanations were necessary to understand the visual.

Long story short, silent stories exist and can be very good and deliver their message well but it’s not so easy to make them, especially if you’re narrating a story based on a different culture.

Sugimoto seems to be impressed by her determination...

...but the director isn’t really interested.

Now… I know some people will be amused by Sugimoto forcing the director to do what Asirpa asked him to do but I’m not really finding that funny.

He’s not just asking the guy to humour her because she saved his life, he grabbed the guy’s scarf and ordered him to comply with Asirpa’s request, his whole behavior threatening. Inaba and Girel aren’t touched by his words, they’re scared. You can even notice how the balloons and the font used for Sugimoto’s words in the original (and in the scanlations too)

imply this is not Sugimoto asking nicely, this is Sugimoto threatening them.

But those guys aren’t bad guys and Sugimoto isn’t asking them just five minutes of their time. Taking a film isn’t something that gets done for free, especially in those times. They had already repaid Asirpa by showing her and everyone else the movie FOR FREE. If Asirpa saved their life for a reward this would cheap Asirpa’s actions.

Long story short no, I don’t find this funny and whoever has a work and, all of sudden, is threatened by a stranger to do what he wants for free and against his will, likely will feel the same.

We can claim that Asirpa’s intentions are nice but this doesn’t mean people HAS TO humour her.

They should do it out of kindness, not out of Sugimoto threatening them and it should be their decision.

So, long story short, the guys are forced to do Asirpa’s or better Sugimoto’s bidding as they’re agreeing merely because threatened by him, not because interested in helping her.

The Karafuto expedition is also forced to help (though I think they were more willing to do it than Girel and Inaba), Vasily included, who gets to draw the scenery.

As Asirpa of course as favourites, Sugimoto gets the role of the lucky guy Pananpe, whose actions always make him rich, with Koito in the role of his ‘pretty wife’, while Shiraishi gets to do the role of the unlucky Penanpe who always ends up having his dick cut and dying a miserable death because he’s apparently scum and always fail to properly imitate Pananpe (why he’s scum is never explained and it’s not like Pananpe is a saint) while Tsukishima plays the role of Shiraishi’s ‘prosperous wife’.

Inaba hands them out the scripts he wrote according to what Asirpa told him. I wonder if he just passively wrote down what she said or also worked it so as to improve it.

Asirpa basically plays the part of the bossy movie director, wearing sunglasses, ordering people around, scolding them claiming they can be easily replaced (they can’t) and even demanding to destroy houses which are in the way.

Meanwhile Tsukishima tries again to plot with Sugimoto by reminding him that since they’ve no time (before Tsurumi will be there) they shouldn’t waste it like this... while Sugimoto insists Tsukishima shouldn’t get in his way as he’ll handle things…

...which somehow worries me as it seems he’s humouring Asirpa in this merely to further his purposes (I hope not, I love Sugimoto but I’ve been fearing the moment he would have to keep his promise to Tsurumi by a long while and I know it won’t be pleasant).

Koito misunderstands and thinks Tsukishima wants to just have more scenes for himself, because sadly Koito is still not thinking in the slightest at his mission.

As the filming goes on Asirpa realizes whose two silly stories won’t convey anything nor, likely, impress people enough to remain passed down, and torments herself.

Well, she’s not wrong, if there’s a moral in those stories, I missed it as well.

Sugimoto suggests her to try for a serious myth instead than just a silly story about dicks being used in weird ways and cut off.

Asirpa accepts, decides to do a Kamuy story and Cikapasi gets the main role of the new story… which is actually better as finally a real Ainu will portray in an Ainu story… not that anyone in Asirpa’s cast has any acting experience anyway but, theoretically Cikapasi should portray better how an Ainu is or feel as he should just act natural. Enonoka also gets a small role as the younger sister of three (the two other sisters being Koito and Tsukishima).

I’ll dig into the plot a little because this time it’s slightly relevant as Cikapasi plays the younger brother of three (the two other brothers being Tanigaki and Sugimoto... whom I guess is added to the cast only because he’s Asirpa’s favourite as he does nothing relevant... Shiraishi gets the role of the bad guy/shapechanging bear by the way). Due to a series of adventures Cikapasi gets to marry the younger sister and finally have a family of his own.

At this point it turns out the brother Tanigaki was playing wasn’t a human or Cikapasi’s real brother but a Kamuy who turned into a bird and left the little brother now that he finally have a family of his own (no idea what happened to the brother Sugimoto was playing, as I said Sugimoto was irrelevant to the story).

As Asirpa, in order to get Cikapasi to make a good expression, reminds him the brother Tanigaki was playing was the one who, in the story gave him protection, took him along, fought evil and grew him and that was now leaving him forever.

Cikapasi, basically emotionally recognizing his own story in the story they were playing, cries, showing Asirpa the expression she wanted.

Note that although Tanigaki should supposedly cry, he doesn’t. I wonder if this is a hint of how Tanigaki and Cikapasi feel very different about what had happened, for Cikapasi he had been ‘adopted’ by Tanigaki, but, for Tanigaki, Cikapasi just went along for the ride and so he’s not as emotionally involved as Cikapasi when ‘leaving him’.

Meanwhile the system that was helping Tanigaki to pretend it was a bird flying away rips and Tanigaki, now dressed only in his fundoshi, crashes down comically (as he makes no attempt to protect himself from his fall and just fall spread eagle).

Asirpa is satisfied.

I’m… not particularly impressed.

Of course I can’t see the whole play, just some still images with explanations about what’s going on but still, I’m not sure such an amateur product could work to transmit the story of a foreign culture behind it so well it would remain left behind.

Asirpa has just discovered what moving images are, she has no knowledge of plays or whatever. Sure, maybe the director is helping her (we don’t see it though, all we know is he wrote down the scripts according to WHAT SHE SAID) but since he was threatened into this he likely just wants to get the work done and be done with this. Also she seems to be left in charge, which means he’s not contributing much.

So, while I was all for her using movies to leave behind Ainu culture… somehow I’ve no trust in how such an amateurish product who basically left behind two funny tales and a myth without really explaining them could accomplish what Asirpa wish. Not only we saw how Koito distorted the Meko Oyasi myth, interpreting it as a suggestion to kill it first sight, even though he heard it being narrated... but really, it’s not so easy to accomplish what Asirpa wishes with just a movie, even when done by a professional.

When the narration is unclear and poor… what will remain behind?

It’s not enough to just film a story, the message has to be clear or it’ll end up being misunderstood.

But well, for now I’ll try to delude myself Asirpa and Co secretly had an impressive talent as director and actors so their production was actually impressively clear… or at least interesting enough people would research for the real myth and the explanation behind it.

We’ll see if the next chapter will confirm they made a masterpiece or will reveal it was just not worth the effort.

On a sidenote though, it’s entirely possible the manga will just wave away the problem giving Asirpa ‘genius filmmaker ability’. In short it doesn’t matter if she’s a child who has just discovered movies, she’s the new Mozart of the film world and her work came out as perfect. Honestly I think this is very likely what’s going to happen, her movie, instead than amateurish, will look very moving and intriguing worth winning multiple Oscars and being awarded the Golden Lion… but well, this is GOLDEN Kamuy after all.

Something else worth mentioning is how the whole myth seems to raise a flag about how Cikapasi and Tanigaki might end up parting ways, with Cikapasi remaining with Enonoka. That or the whole thing was meant to be a nice what if, and things will end up rather dark.

Honestly I hope the movie is just foretelling Tanigaki and Cikapasi parting ways, as I would prefer this to the other option.

Last but not least let me go back a little to talk about Sugimoto.

When Tsukishima had accused Asirpa of having remembered and shared the truth with Ogata and Kiro… Sugimoto hadn’t tried to deny it.

He could have, he could have lied and told he heard Asirpa saying something reassuring to Kiro, not that she had remembered but that she would care about the Ainu’s interests or something like that.

Asirpa might not have thought to disguise her actions as such but she’s a child, Sugimoto is a man and could cover up for her, in the same way as he could have told Tsukishima how Asirpa doesn’t know why Ogata wanted to kill her since she’s the key to the gold and wondering if he really wants it,

which are all clear hints she didn’t tell him the code and therefore Ogata’s actions aren’t tied to her having turned useless.

Sugimoto could have suggested everything else really, like how Ogata might have believed he wouldn’t have the time to get her to tell him a code she hadn’t remembered yet and therefore, instead than letting Sugimoto get her and learn the code from her, he wanted NOBODY to have the code. After all he told Asirpa he believed Ogata was in this just to play around, why not to use this with Tsukishima too?

Why Sugimoto should have done this?

Because regardless of Asirpa having remembered the code or not, it could be better for her if Tsurumi DOESN’T THINK she has remembered because Asirpa might not want to share that info with him or not truly not remembering it.

Sugimoto should remember how Tsurumi stuck sticks through his cheeks to get him to cooperate as well as he had him beaten up.

If Sugimoto doesn’t get her to talk or if Asirpa still doesn’t remember, Tsurumi might not necessarily feel he needs to be kind with her, that’s why it’s imperative Sugimoto makes sure he won’t think Asirpa has remembered. But the problem here lies in how Sugimoto is likely sure she would tell him the code, why shouldn’t she?

So there’s no reason to hide from Tsurumi she has remembered, because Sugimoto can hand to him the code on a silver plate… and maybe I’m just being pessimist but I fear this thing will backfire horribly.

I’ve been dreading the moment Sugimoto would have to keep his promise to Tsurumi from chap 139. We’re at chap 205 and that moment is coming close by the minute… and I’m honestly dreading it because I doubt it will be pretty.

We’ll see though and I won’t mind for Golden Kamuy to prove me wrong on this one.

This video made me feel so many things. Trigger warnings for body shaming, diet talk, discussion of size. 

It’s so frustrating because it’s so cool, but even these girls seems to feel like they have to say “obviously being skinny would be better” while doing this. Literally treating gaining weight as a “fallen” state that they need to redeem themselves from. And on the other side, it’s also clear that many actual Japanese people are desperate for any even slightly positive representation of a different body type, that even with that framing they can gain some feeling of “I like these people. This makes me feel less like a failure.” from this group’s existence. 

It’s also so disappointing how little criticism there is of the idol industry’s ridiculous standards through the video. The girl labels when she stops her diet and goes almost into a fugue state and starts “binging” - she calls that an ED. But she doesn’t call the six months prior where she ate only water and yogurt an ED. She calls that a diet. 

It seems like these girls are just on the edge of really discovering a healthier way of being. They say they aren’t trying to stay fat OR diet, and they’ll respect their choices when they make them, and it’s more about just being happy and taking care of themselves, and I love that. They clearly have some dubiousness about the industry itself. And they’re brave and confident enough to make this group in the first place. But it’s so frustrating that you can see them wrestling with ideas like “I have been eating less and I still look like this” and “I’m clearly fit enough to be doing this really active career without trouble” and those ideas competing with what they ‘know’ about fat - that it’s in their control, their fault, something to fixed, something wrong. And they just can’t seem to let go of those ideas, that they shouldn’t look this way. So much so that the entire framing for their group is less “Hey! Beauty standards are messed up!” and a little too much “Well, we all make mistakes! Love us anyway? We’re funny about it!” - it’s great that they’re trying to tap into something relatable. But it sucks that they seem to be saying “Yeah, we know this isn’t perfect, but we’re done apologizing for being human” which IS a relatable attitude, but not nearly as empowering or accurate as “We’re not apologizing because we haven’t done anything wrong.”

I love that the lead says she wants to stop making “fat” a bad word, and make things easier for fat girls. And I think the huge response of female fans that she didn’t expect comes directly from that. I can’t imagine how many girls who felt they could never be pretty or cute saw this group and immediately felt a burden lift, as they saw an example of a different body type being just as cute and talented as any other idol. 

But, boy howdy, idol culture is a hot mess for 1000 reasons, and I feel like this groups whole story is like kaleidoscope that you can twist to see fractured pieces of all the shapes that toxicity can take. 

I will say, I’m rooting for them. I’m super rooting for them. I hope they become more empowered as they go, and write songs that are less self-blaming or apologetic. I hope all these girls have wonderful careers and are given every reason to love themselves and be loved, like they deserve. 

On Lotor, Dayak, and Mishandled Approaches

It’s been over a month, and I’ve finally managed to gather myself enough to actually write a post about why I disagree with how Lotor was handled.

So here we go, and it starts with a request:

Forget your opinions on Lotor as a character.

I’m serious. Whether you love him or hate him or something else, just put that aside for a moment. Just think “Okay, this is the character, this is what he did, and this is how it was presented,” because your own opinions are only tangentially relevant right now.

The target audience for Voltron is not you. If you are on this site, then the target audience is not you.

Voltron: Legendary Defender is rated TV-Y7. It’s meant for a target audience of children aged 7-11.

My critical thinking skills weren’t the best at that age, up to and including literary analysis. I didn’t stop to parse stories down to subtle messages and meanings, I just took them as they came, because I was seven years old and hadn’t had time to practice those skills yet. Last I checked, most kids that age were and are the same way.

And that’s where the problem with Lotor comes up, because a lot of those kids in the audience that the story is targeted towards are in abusive homes. Just statistically speaking, some of that target audience is kids who are going through the mental, emotional, and physical abuse that we see attached to Lotor’s childhood on-screen, whether it’s show or just implied.

So let’s dig into that under the cut.

I’ll be honest here: I'd have handled the twists a LOT better if it weren't for the fact that some of what they did is actively dangerous for their target audience, and emotionally damaging to the older watchers.

I think the production team meant well. I think they wanted to tell an interesting, nuanced story. I think they wanted a cool, layered villain.

I also genuinely don't think the team realized the full scope of implications when they included the abuse backstory for a character that had this kind of arc.

It's not something that's healthy for kids to see. A certain portion of the audience is current or former abuse victims. With an audience this size, it's unavoidable. When actively marketing to children, they're marketing towards impressionable minds. Some of those kids are currently in abusive households, and some of those abusive households have the physical, mental, and emotional abuse that Lotor underwent at Zarkon, Haggar, and Dayak's hands.

It’s not an uncommon type of abuse. I’ve seen posts that address it as being culturally similar to Caribbean households, or to tiger moms, and so on. Galra culture has similarities to a lot of cultures on Earth, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is abuse.

The messages those kids are getting are that being hit by your caretaker is a cause for humor, not concern, and that if you try to grow past your toxic roots, you will fail.

What they’re seeing and absorbing isn’t a nuanced villain, not when it’s presented like that. They’re seven. They’re not appreciating a Shakespearean tragedy of an arc. They’re seeing “Oh, he was hit by his nanny, and it was supposed to be funny! I guess when I get hit, it’s not that bad!” The slightly older ones are seeing “Oh, he tried to be better than his parents, but everyone thinks he’s just as bad as they were. I guess... I can’t be better than my parents, then.”

Again, please put aside your own love or hate for Lotor, and focus on the mentality of actual children who are watching. You are not the target audience.

I'm still furious about S6E1. There are kids who might have been considering telling a teacher about their parents' treatment of them who might now be holding off because the show told them that it's okay, that it's funny.

There are kids who still don't know that it's abuse and that it's wrong for them to be hit, and who are having that belief reinforced by this episode.

The episode is actively dangerous for literal children who are already in toxic, unstable, or dangerous situations.

And yes, for the older audience, for those of us who are old enough to mess around on sites like this, it's emotionally damaging in similar ways, even if it's not the same kind of dangerous.

They also completely defanged the abuse by having it lensed through Hunk.

In S6E1, Dayak’s abusive behaviors are all being aimed at a soldier who volunteered for the experience, who is either an adult or very near to it, who is wearing armor, who is already considered a comedic character.

And there's a lot to go into about it being Hunk, specifically, who got chosen for this role and how the production team treats him. We could definitely spend time touching on why the fat comedic relief was chosen as the target for this.

But imagine how much harder it would be to dismiss Lotor's background as a factor of his personality if what we'd gotten was... a flashback, to Dayak doing all of that to him while he was still clearly a child, rather than turning abuse into a comedic subplot.

A person I was talking to said the following:

What he really deserved was to have his complex situation and the grey area effect on his morality recognized. Like, yes, he was draining the life force of Alteans. But consider the environment he grew up. Hold his actions up against those of his parents. He had every reason to genuinely believe that his actions were not that bad by comparison, especially in the grand scheme of things. His death count was a drop in the bucket compared to Zarkon. The Alteans he used did not appear to be suffering or even aware of what was happening to them, and the ones left behind were a race being preserved from prosecution and extinction. He was also actively searching for a way to provide the Empire's needs without causing any more widespread death and destruction. He was trying to be better than his parents, and in his reference frame, his actions were better than theirs.

Which, hell, probably does come across as apologism. It’s a fucked-up situation, and one that I question seeing in a show aimed at kids. It was a delicate thing to handle, and I’d have been a lot more interested if I’d seen it in, say, Agents of SHIELD, rather than VLD.

Similar arguments apply to the overall arc. Kids who are in toxic situations are getting the message that they can’t grow out of it. “I want to be a better person and have no one to show me how, but I’m going to try anyway” is being met with “You will fail, and everyone will say it’s your own fault.”

I think they were TRYING but that they genuinely didn't realize the minefield they were entering by giving him the backstory they did. It would have been a suitable plotline if it had been in an adult show, if it had gotten more perspectives, or if there had been a different character with a background that was explicitly as abusive as his that overcame it despite the same hurdles, and no, Keith doesn’t count.

There are... a lot of abuse victims in this fandom. There are a lot of victims, both children and adults, who identified with Lotor because he showed the symptoms that people don’t like to sympathize with as easily. And that’s a lot of children who are getting negative messages, and a lot of adults who are feeling betrayed by the storyline.

Just... remember that. Please.

You aren’t the target audience, and the actual target audience is eating up messages that make them more likely to remain in abusive situations.

(And if your reaction is in any way to blame the children for not recognizing what they’re going through as abuse, regardless of media, I need you to take a long moment to reflect on the fact that you are effectively victim-blaming people that aren’t even in the double digits yet.)

(Also, I know a lot of people try to argue a lot of things as “think of the children!” It’s up to you how you approach the concept. I draw my line at portraying child abuse as comedy in media that is targeted at children, which I feel is inherently different from people who try to say “think of the children!” about things like queer representation.)

L’heure entre chien et loup 05

↳ Pairing(s): Kookmin, Namgi, Yoonjin

↳ Genre(s): Noir, angst, romance

↳ Warning(s): R18. Gang violence and drug reference.

↳ Words: 1,838

↳ Summary:  Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung are NIS agents working on a mission to dissemble an organization of highly trained killers.

↳ ao3

The hotel staff leads Namjoon to the third floor. There's a placard on a gold stand citing some fancy sponsor's name as the leading donor for the annual charity gala his father attended. People who went to these things usually had more money than sense, so at least they could blow their dirty money on a good cause. Despite the comforting furniture music, the artificial candle lights on the glass chandeliers hanging above his head are too bright for comfort. Everything glitters and shines during the event that’s supposedly focused on those who can’t even step a foot into a place like this.

Namjoon arrives earlier than his father, and he takes his assigned seat in the empty table set with expensive glassware. Looking at them closer, he guesses that they’re all actually crystal. Namjoon lets out a quiet scoff when he gets a call from his father.  

“It’s better to take a private car rather than public transport for events like this,” Namjoon says without a proper greeting, fiddling with his champagne flute with one hand. “Your security may be smiling to your face but talk badly of you behind your back.”

“Have you arrived already?” his father asks, straight to the point. Like father like son.

“Yeah, just now. Have you memorized your congratulatory speech? You spent the whole night writing it.”

“I forget the words just when I think I’ve learnt them all.”

“I told you to cut back on your drinking,” Namjoon teases.

Despite the cutthroat world they lived in, the two maintained a close relationship with each other. His father had raised him by himself after his mother left them, and he had always been Namjoon’s role model ever since.

                          <  L’heure entre chien et loup >

                                                 Chapter 5

“Please wear the scarf that I bought you. It’s cold outside.” Namjoon doesn’t care if his words sounded like nagging. Someone had to nag at his father or else no one would.

“Are you wearing the tie that I bought you?” his father nags back.

“Of course,” Namjoon lies, feeling for the tie in his pocket where he had previously stuffed it. He had forgotten to put it on while coming here, and the reminder has him rushing to the bathroom once the call is over.

It’s a plain, sleek black tie. Namjoon puts it around his collar as he stands in front of the mirror, trying to recall how to tie it. Having gone to work without wearing a tie for the past few years, he’s forgotten it completely, all muscle memory lost. Namjoon struggles for a few minutes before giving up. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he eyes the man who just came in to wash his hands at the sink next to his. Unlike Namjoon, the man wears a white long coat. He waits until their eyes meet in the reflection on the mirror.

“Hi, sorry. Do you know how to tie a tie?”

The man nods, taking a step closer to Namjoon with the tie in his hand. “They say the tie is the flower of the suit,” he says as he pulls the tie into a knot around Namjoon’s neck. His long white fingers holds Namjoon’s attention before he breaks out of his reverie, looking down to see the man staring up at him.

“...thanks,” Namjoon croaks.

The man gives him a nod before leaving the bathroom. When Namjoon turns to examine his tie, his brows raise, impressed.

A perfect rose knot.

His father has arrived by the time Namjoon gets back to his table.

“When did you get here?” Namjoon asks as he takes a seat next to him. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

“Namjoon,” his father snorts. “You just told me to cut back on drinking just a few minutes ago.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything,” Namjoon smiles.

“No, I rather not slur over my speech,” his father declines, stopping him when Namjoon calls for one of the waiters.

Namjoon resorts to asking for just one glass of wine instead of two and takes a long sip out of it. Just then, the man in the bathroom sits in the same table as his. Namjoon nods in greeting, and he does too.

Min Yoongi, his name plate reads.

“I have to go back to work soon,” Namjoon continues the conversation with his father.

“Are you working overnight again? It’s no use to overwork yourself.”

“I guess I inherited the best traits from you.”

Touché. His father chuckles.

“There seems to be a lot of reporters here for this to be a private event,” Namjoon comments dryly.

His father is about to reply when Seokjin joins their table, bowing before shaking his hand.

“Ah, you came too,” his father greets him. “Have you met my son? If I’m not wrong both of you are the same age. You’re turning thirty this year too?”

“I heard you were quite a filial son. The mayor speaks highly of you,” Seokjin says with a pleasant smile at Namjoon’s direction.

“Oh…” Namjoon turns slightly to give his father an embarrassed grimace. “You look better in real life.”

Although it’s a hurried attempt to hide his embarrassment, he means it. He knows of Seokjin through the media. The television, radio, newspapers always spoke of him on a daily basis.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Seokjin greets warmly, and shakes his hand with a firm yet pleasant grip.

“Nice to meet you as well.”

Namjoon watches Seokjin sit next to Yoongi, lowering his head to meet Yoongi’s eyes.

“I don’t feel too good about leaving you alone so often.”

“I’m not a child,” Yoongi grumbles.

“That’s the same thing my baby brother told me yesterday,” Seokjin grins. “Have you eaten?”

“Kind of. You know I don’t eat steak.”

“Should I ask them for sushi?”

“No, I’m good,” Yoongi responds, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about me and go greet the rest of the people here.”

“I’ll be right back,” Seokjin promises.

Namjoon looks away quickly when Yoongi turns to him. Unsure he’s been caught, Namjoon clears his throat. “Could you pass me the champagne, please?”

“I thought you were a model,” Yoongi admits as he hands him the bottle.

“Is there a model who doesn’t know how to tie a tie?”

“Now wouldn’t that be interesting.” Yoongi’s lips curl into a smile.

Their small talk doesn’t last long when the room dims, all attention focused on the podium as his father gets ready for his speech.

His father does well despite his previous worries, and Namjoon smiles proudly at him before scanning the crowd.

Namjoon stops when he sees a man moving past the group of reporters, eyes narrowing as he starts to realize that he’s not supposed to be there. It’s all in a matter of seconds when the man draws something out of his jacket. Namjoon rises from his seat in panic, but Seokjin moves faster.

It’s chaos. It hits Seokjin instead of his father, and the flashes of the camera blinds him for a moment. Thankfully it’s just a bag of food waste, but it’s scandalous just the same.

“What’s there to congratulate about when the country is in this state, you bastards!” The man screams as the security drag him away.

“Get the mayor out of the room,” Seokjin orders.

After making sure his father is okay, Namjoon returns to the scene to find Seokjin gone and his father making his way out of the room with the aid of his security. The flashes of the camera doesn’t stop, and Namjoon looks at one of reporters.

“I know you’re just trying to do your job,” Namjoon says as he meets his eyes, grabbing the camera out of his hands and throwing it onto the floor. “Have some tact, will you?” He says before crushing it with his foot.

“I thought you’d be late.”

Taehyung looks up from his computer when Namjoon rushes into the office, ignoring him completely as he turns the computer on. Hoseok comes in not too long after, looking just as surprised as Taehyung.

“Oh, I didn’t know you’d be here,” Hoseok blinks. “So I bought dinner for two.”

“Why are you here when I sent you home early?” Taehyung narrows his eyes at him.

“I felt bad so I came back. And sir, quick question: is it really necessary for the security to check what I’m having for dinner?”

“No one knows if you’re hiding a bomb in your kimbap, Hoseok.”

The projector screen clicks on behind them, and Hoseok turns around to look at it as he unravels the tin foil around his kimbap.

“Isn’t that Kim Seokjin? He’s always on TV these days,” Hoseok comments.

“He’s a suspect,” Namjoon replies.

“What?”

“Huh?”

Taehyung and Hoseok stops eating mid-way, frowning at the screen where Seokjin’s profile is displayed.

“Kim Seokjin, thirty. Went to China to study, and is currently a proportional representation member of the Ruling Party.”

“Yeah, so?” Taehyung prods.

“But there’s one critical information that’s missing,” Namjoon says, voice tense.

What is it? Hoseok looks at Taehyung, who shrugs back at him.

“He’s from the Red Eye Island.”

Yoongi cleans Seokjin with a handkerchief. They were brought to a private waiting room at the hotel, and was told to stay there until everything was deemed safe outside.

“Stop, you’re going to get dirty too,” Seokjin moves away from him, his shirt discarded and the Red Eye tattoo displayed clearly across his shoulder blade.

“That’s the least of your worries.” Yoongi attempts to control his temper, gritting his teeth. The muscles of his jaws are tense.

“Are you angry?”

“Why did you get up there when there’s the security for a reason?” Yoongi snaps. “Do you know how scared I was?”

“I guess the man was pretty mad for him to do something like that,” Seokjin murmurs.

“Don’t try to change the subject. Are you hurt?”

“No, but don’t tell Jungkook.”

“He’s going to find out anyways. I’m sure there are articles up already online.”

“Jungkook doesn’t know how to use a computer.”

“He watches TV though,” Yoongi groans. “Most of them are cartoons but-” he stops, his head turning sharply towards the door. “Did you hear something?”

Seokjin turns to the door, looking for any signs of movement outside their room. “... has the door been always open since we came in?”

Meanwhile, safely hidden in his car at the hotel parking lot, Namjoon replays the audio recording of Yoongi’s and Seokjin’s conversation. He had been on his way to thank Seokjin for protecting his father when he saw them through the crack of the door, Seokjin’s back exposed. Live without the fear of death. Namjoon had seen it with his two eyes.

Don’t tell Jungkook.

The audio recording plays loud and clear. Namjoon rests his head back into his seat with a wry smile on his face as he stares up at the night sky.

“Huh,” he mutters with a sardonic grin, “they were right when they said you’ll always meet your enemies at the worst place and time.”

FMA Brotherhood: Episode 19

FMA Brotherhood Episode 19: "Death of the Undying"

Kain Fuery manages to save Hawkeye, with Mustang coming to defeat Gluttony. Alphonse meets up with the group and they pursue Barry, who chases his body into the depths of the third laboratory. The group splits into two teams. Mustang and Havoc are ambushed by Lust, resulting in both men being grievously wounded and left for dead. Lust then confronts Barry, slicing him to pieces. Hawkeye, believing Mustang to be dead, desperately shoots Lust repeatedly with minimal effect. Before Lust can kill Hawkeye, Mustang appears, having cauterized his wounds, he repeatedly incinerates Lust until her philosopher's stone is depleted. No longer able to regenerate, she crumbles to ash. Barry's soul survives, but his blood seal is scratched out by his human body, which kills both of them. Edward returns to Resembool and heads toward the Rockbell residence where he sees his father Van Hohenheim at the grave of his mother Trisha Elric.

Mustang flashes back to Hughes' death when Riza doesn't respond and freaks out.

Then we cut back to Ling expositing. Oh joy.

Gluttony is strangling Riza. She's emptied her clip into his head but he's not dying. It's pretty gruesome, we see his wrecked eyeball. She empties another clip and pushes him back a little, but they're out of ammo again. For some reason, they just stand there like idiots instead of running. Fortunately, Mustang steps out of his teleporter and uses magic to generate force out of nothing to throw Gluttony out the window.

Riza yells at Mustang for saving her because lolwomen. Later she does thank him and then he's the one telling her to keep in professional, because women are just crazy nagging hags who don't say what they mean and need strong manly men to keep their heads in the game.

I really don't like the cracked-skin effect on the homunculi. It looks so fake, like a low-res CGI model.

How did Alphonse know where they were? Did Ling tell him?

Al informs them about homunculi's powers. Despite this they're going to continue to waste all their ammo shooting Lust later, because they're idiots.

Mustang uses Barry's rampage as an excuse to investigate the laboratory, which is clever. Barry doesn't kill anyone because serial killers are such polite people. Al has cartoon face during this, which I guess is appropriate since he really doesn't fit in here.

Lust shows up and Havoc gets distracted by her jiggle physics when he looks at her tattoo. As Tumblr helpfully explained to me, this is actually groundbreaking feminist representation because while it looks indistinguishable from normal anime objectification see it's actually making fun of Havoc for being a pervert and no, Tumblr, it's pandering. Perv pandering doesn't stop being perv pandering just because a woman drew it. But okay, sure, it's not that bad by the very, very low standards of anime, so maybe I can put up with it as long as it doesn't…

…do… that.

Guys, this is not making fun of perverts. Havoc is a hero and Lust is a villain. This is letting perverts be in on the joke. Tumblr, please for the love of God shut up about Brotherhood being so tasteful in its depiction of boobs, because it's not.

Anyway. Lust taunts Mustang about Hughes' death and then… looks actually pained when he shoots her (where Gluttony barely flinched). Why did she do that if bullets actually hurt her.

There is some gross banter about getting Lust on her knees. I'm sure this has also, through some strange Tumblr alchemy, been transformed into groundbreaking feminism.

Then Lust shows off her Philosopher's Stone because the author needed a way for the characters to learn a homunculus' weakness and couldn't think of a way to do it that didn't involve handing Lust the idiot ball. I've heard this is slightly less stupid in the manga and she only does this after Havoc gets injured, is that true?

Like I said before, this reveal utterly baffles me. So after all that buildup, the homunculi are just... monsters powered by magic. That’s so boring. They can no longer be used to ask questions about personhood and humanity -- I mean, maybe they could if the show actually committed to them being alien and different, but it doesn’t. What this comes down to is just that Philosopher’s Stones and rulebreaking magic is cool, so the homunculi have them so they can be cool boss monsters. Except they’re not cool. In OG, they were puzzles that required special knowledge and preparation to defeat; that’s cool. In Brotherhood, as we’re going to see, you beat the homunculi by just punching them in the face until the author decides they’ve run out of HP. They’re just damage sponges. And just as I revile damage sponges in video games, I revile them in TV shows too. Characters just throwing the same attacks at each other for five episodes is not interesting.

I also hate that this means Philosopher’s Stones are absolutely everywhere in this continuity instead of something actually special, a theme that will continue.

Lust says homunculi still have human feelings. Wow, what a dumb idea that no one would ever want to read about. It sure is a good thing Brotherhood decided to completely forget about this and just make homunculi boring boss monsters, huh?

Then, despite Lust using her claws as instant-kill ranged attacks in every prior fight scene, she now switches to sloppy, easily-dodged melee swipes, because Lust is really hogging the idiot ball today.

Mustang says he can decompose the water into hydrogen and oxygen to create an explosion even with wet gloves. This is totally inconsistent with what we're previously told, which is that creating oxygen is the easy part for him. He shouldn't need a spark to manipulate the air content, that should be a separate thing. This just seems like the author showing off a trick she remembered from chemistry class. It sure would be interesting if alchemy actually worked like this all the time, but Mustang never needs to do anything like this elsewhere.

Then despite having just been told that homunculi don't die when they are killed they walk right back into the room, because the idiot ball's really getting around today.

Cartoon when Mustang complains about being treated like a match. Because a climactic battle is definitely the time for that.

Then Lust FINALLY uses her spear-claws and stabs Havoc through the spine which, in a rare appearance of consequences, actually does paralyze him until the epilogue when Dr. Deus ex Machina heals him because consequences are for losers. I'm also a bit unclear on how she severed his spine without also severing his aorta.

Mustang realizes he can use Lust's Philosopher's Stone to heal Havoc and rips it out of Lust's chest. Lust screams in agony, implying this does actually hurt her, so again, why did she show it to him?

Lust's body disintegrates, but she's able to reform around the Stone. It's really gruesome. Somehow this does not crush Mustang's hand in the process, but she does finally stab him… nonfatally, because she's got the idiot ball again.

Bradley shows up outside.

Lust says Mustang was a candidate for sacrifice but she's killing him anyway. Uh, did she run this by the others? She then leaves him for dead instead of finishing him off because the idiot ball is strong this episode.

We then catch up to Barry, who tells us souls reject incompatible bodies. Al freaks out at this, but fortunately this will never matter for him.

Lust shows up to whine about how she has to kill Al. No, you don't. Just leave. You control the government. Bradley can give you another hideout at a moment's notice. The most important thing hiding here was you, and you just blabbed all your secrets anyway. Just cut your losses. You idiot.

Lust once again taunts someone into shooting her and once again staggers and screams in pain, because the idiot ball's terminal now. Shouldn't she also know she's running out of lives and this is maybe not the best idea right now?

Al vows to protect Riza because he’s tired of watching people die. It’s a nice moment that also happens way, way too early in his character arc. I like Al as the childish, out-of-his-depth foil to Ed’s easy confidence. This moment works better as a climactic ending reversal than as an offhand detail a third of the way through the story. If he’s just another noble heroic alchemist, he’s redundant with all the others we already have.

Meanwhile, Riza is hysterical and ineffective because she's a woman in a shonen anime.

You know, more seriously, I would like to point out that giving a female character awesome gun skills doesn't actually mean anything in a story about how non-guns are really awesome. We see a lot of great gunplay from Riza, but it's always alchemy that actually saves the day and gets all the focus. It's moving the goalposts. Sure, we'll give the woman a cool skill… that we will then choose to make useless in the context of the story. It's such tedious faux-feminism, going through the motions so you can say, technically, that you have a "strong female character" without actually doing anything to respect them or integrate them into the narrative. For every "strong female character" in Brotherhood, there's a male character who's stronger. Women are still, fundamentally, supporting characters – they're awesome because part of the male fantasy is an awesome support staff, but the boys get to be more awesome and the boys get to be who the story's actually about.

I really want us to start being more critical of representation like this. Treating strong female characters like a list of checkboxes is so totally wrongheaded. Characters don't exist in a vacuum. A skill that's impressive in one narrative or one power level may be completely meaningless in another. We need to look at characters within the context of the narrative they inhabit, relative to other characters and the framing of the work.

To prove my point, our resident Gary Stu has just appeared to show Riza up and beat the boss fight literally without moving a single step.

BUT TELL ME AGAIN HOW THIS SERIES IS GOD’S GIFT TO FEMINISM.

Mustang is using Havoc's lighter for a starter, despite explicitly establishing that it was busted earlier.

Mustang fireballs her again.

He also drew a perfect transmutation circle in his own blood and perfectly cauterized his internal bleeding despite explicitly saying he doesn't know medical alchemy. Now that his jacket's opened, we also get to see he's been hiding a Superman physique this whole time. You could put this in a parody of male power fantasies and I'd say it was too unbelievable.

Mustang fireballs her again. We get a gruesome close-up shot of her skin burning off.

Mustang fireballs her again.

Mustang decides he can kill this regenerator monster powered by the thing that supposedly has infinite energy by just killing her enough times, because he's read the script.

Mustang fireballs her again.

We get a closeup of her Philosopher's Stone, and coincidentally also a closeup of her tits.

Mustang fireballs her again.

And again.

I'd like to point out that every single one of these fireballs is ENORMOUS. Alphonse has to create a stone wall to hide behind so Riza isn't charbroiled too. We can see the entire room lighting up. I'd also like to point out this is in a SEALED UNDERGROUND ROOM, and FIRE REQUIRES OXYGEN. OXYGEN IS NOT INFINITE. If he lights the whole room on fire, he is DONE. HE USED UP ALL THE OXYGEN IN THE ROOM. HE CANNOT KEEP SPAMMING FIREBALLS. And I don't care what fanwank you can pull out to justify this, because the bottom line is that someone winning a fight by endlessly spamming the same move is terrible writing. This is not a climactic boss fight, this is just the Gary Stu showing off how awesome he is.

And through all of this Lust has done absolutely nothing except writhe and scream in agony, because Mustang is a Gary Stu therefore fire stunlocks everything. Only at the very end does she actually try to attack him, remembering she can spear people through the brain just in time for him to kill her while her spear is INCHES away from his face, because he's very awesome.

Also, HOW IS HE NOT BURNING HIMSELF HERE. HOW. HIS ARM IS IN THE EXPLOSION. HOW.

Meanwhile, Lust can still talk but somehow not extend her spear one more inch. Her Philosopher's Stone disintegrates, so the woman has nobly died to teach us that you can kill homunculi by just hitting them until they run out of HP, because that's so interesting.

And then Mustang collapses from his wound now that it no longer matters, invoking the very important power of the Not-Sue: see, he did all that while he really was one step away from death, that totally makes him less sueish and not more!

Mustang ignores Riza to praise Al for protecting her.

Bradley, our other resident Gary Stu, is revealed to have been watching the whole thing. He for some reason does not kill Mustang, thus establishing who has the greater Sue power.

Winry is sulking and hoping the man comes back safe because that's her purpose in life.

Then we end with more Barry, because we really needed that. His body is somehow still not dead, and erases the seal on the one part of the armor that stayed intact, killing them both. What was the point of this?

Then the show remembers Ed is supposed to be the protagonist. We cut to him for five seconds to discover Hoenheim has conveniently returned to Resembool at the same time as him.

Conclusion

A lot of people tell me that OG was misogynist garbage and Brotherhood is super progressive.

I don't know what anime they watched, but I just saw the sole female antagonist – and let's take a moment to reflect on the fact the sole female antagonist is Lust – die a gruesome, disgusting, sexualized death less than a third of the way through the story because she was too busy flashing her tits to actually fight, for no other reason than to show how awesome a dude is.

This is my breaking point. There is no coming back from this. I don't care how awesome Olivier is. Anyone who recommends this show as full of ~great female characters~ without thinking this content deserved even the teensiest of caveats is not anyone whose judgment I trust.

And sure, let's be real here, I watch anime, I'm willing to put up with some misogynist crap if there's something else worth my time. But this has established, very definitively, that there absolutely will not be anything worth my time. Lust, as we will see when we continue with OG, was an incredibly important and complex character in the original anime, absolutely crucial to the narrative of the homunculi and many of the things I loved about the story. And this is what Brotherhood does with her.

And that's not even the only awful thing about this episode! Ed wasn't in it at all! Mustang's takeover of the narrative is complete. He's the one who got to solve the mystery, fight the villain, and save the day, pretty much singlehandedly. And I'm sorry, but even if he wasn't an insufferable Gary Stu, Mustang just doesn't interest me as a character as much as Ed. I like him as a deuteragonist to Ed's protagonist, not the other way around. So no. This episode really hammers in that there is absolutely nothing here for me.

But lucky you, I read a plot summary of all the episodes after this, and I know the very next one is something I want to complain about too! So we'll keep going for one more episode. One last nail in the coffin.

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can’t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

(The Sunday Times article for those of you unable to read it)

Last Sunday, just days after being nominated for an Oscar, Timothée Chalamet bounded into a busy London bar like a man who still believes nobody knows who he is. Heads turned. Autograph hunters were in the yard outside. At one point during our interview, he shouted “Boom!” so loudly that tables of drinkers turned, stared, turned back, then turned around again. “It’s, it’s...” one said, slightly uncertain as to who he was or, more likely, how to pronounce his first name.

It’s plain old “Timothy”; and what filmgoers recognise him for is his breakthrough role in Call Me by Your Name, a gay coming-of-age story that has grown from cult hit to mainstream contender. He is smart and sensitive as Elio, who falls for his family’s American hunk of a guest, Oliver (Armie Hammer), during a picturesque Italian summer.

In person, Chalamet’s hair bounces, as does the rest of him. He is thin and wiry; as graceful as a ballerina and as energetic as the Duracell bunny; fond of light physical affection. He talks at the motormouth clip typical of Hell’s Kitchen, New York, where he grew up.

I have never met anyone as delighted to be alive as he is right now. Who can blame him? At 22, he is, for Elio, the youngest best actor nominee since 1944. He would be the youngest ever winner: not bad, considering he was previously best known for a bit part in Homeland and quit Columbia University to audition for, but not be cast in, Manchester by the Sea and the latest Spider-Man. In a fortnight, he will be at the Baftas for both lead actor and the coveted rising-star prize. But everyone knows it’s the Academy Awards that matter most. How does all that feel?

“This is how it matters to me,” he says. “Call Me by Your Name has gone beyond my wildest dreams. People came out because of that film. But I don’t want to be known for something that happened when I was young. So [the nomination] comes with tremendous gratitude and is something I’ll humblebrag about to my friends and family, yet this is hopefully just the start. There’d better be more.”

The good news, I say, is that he is unlikely to win, as voters seem unable to look past Gary Oldman’s prosthetics in Darkest Hour. So the accolade might be a millstone, but not as heavy as it could be. He laughs at my cheek.

“The truth is, you want to prepare a speech, but — I don’t know,” he says, frozen. “These ceremonies are overwhelming enough, independent of having to get up in front of legends and have your mouth move.” A fellow nominee, Daniel Kaluuya, the young British star of Get Out, is equally excited. “When we lock eyes,” he says of Kaluuya, “we give each other a look of ‘What the f*** is happening?’”

The crazy thing is that Call Me by Your Name is only the second best film starring Chalamet nominated for best picture this year. The best is Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig’s exquisite straight coming-of-age story, in which Saoirse Ronan’s titular teen struggles with men and her studies. It’s an astonishingly astute film, with Chalamet playing Ronan’s second boyfriend. He sits by the pool reading literature, looking brooding — which is exactly what Elio does. Chalamet claps along loudly when I bring up typecasting. He’s too hot now to sweat the small stuff.

Gerwig has been nominated for best director at the Oscars, which makes her the story of the night. Although other awards have found room for Lady Bird in several categories, they have overlooked the one that counts: best director. Some thought her film was simple compared to, say, Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk, with its crew of hundreds moving a boat off a beach, and that such traditionally male-made projects are simply harder to do. Size matters, it seems, to panels of predominantly male voters. Or perhaps they just don’t like women to direct.

“There’s no difference in being directed by a woman,” Chalamet says sharply. “But in the public representation, there is a huge difference, and that’s why it’s so important Greta was nominated, and so shocking she is just the fifth woman to be so.”

He looks bemused as I float the idea it might be easier to make a film that is character-driven, as is Lady Bird, than something on a grander scale. “And it’s interesting,” he adds, “that the conversation is framed in relation to production of the movie, because it’s clear that it’s way harder to get an audience for smaller films. Budgets are significantly less.” He sounds irked, clearly finding questions about the battle of the sexes dated and odd.

Yet Chalamet should be used to this by now. He has come into the industry in the era of Time’s Up, which strives for better treatment for all, especially women. It’s hard being in the middle of a storm that’s still raging. There was a late caveat to this interview, namely that I couldn’t ask Chalamet about Woody Allen. The actor recently donated his salary for the director’s forthcoming movie, A Rainy Day in New York, which he filmed last summer, to funds including Time’s Up. He had made a statement about it a couple of weeks ago, and that was that.

I pushed back. Journalists have been accused of dodging difficult questions, but if the interviewee refuses to be asked, that leaves us in limbo. I was then allowed one specific question about Allen, by email. I asked three. Chalamet answered this one: “You were the first lead to donate your salary for a Woody Allen film. What has been the reaction to your statement?”

He replied: “I’m just focusing on the work as much as possible. I mean, I literally get to have this conversation with you in relation to Lady Bird, which freshly presents a female coming-of-age story, independent of a male romance being the catalyst; and to Call Me by Your Name, which similarly presents male coming-of-age with a new lens… Thanks to these films, I’m getting new opportunities. But I’ve also learnt that, along with the opportunities, I have new responsibilities, and none of this is lost on me.”

I have sympathy for him. Allegations against Allen have been public for years, and it’s not as if established A-listers such as Cate Blanchett or Javier Bardem are quizzed about their decision to work for the director. Chalamet’s feeling, I imagine, is that his salary statement was enough, and such a move has probably helped end Allen’s career anyway. I’d be stunned if anyone sees A Rainy Day in New York, and gobsmacked if a leading actor signs up for his scripts again.

Still, although we can’t talk about Allen, we can discuss Time’s Up. Chalamet is in a business going through a great upheaval. He calls it a “really important moment in Hollywood”, and there’s a sense that, like every new generation, he looks at those above him with suspicion, at times even disdain. “I’m in a new wave of actors that doesn’t stand for stuff like this and is part of that change,” he says proudly. “It’s actually been a lesson for me to learn what the — well, prejudices isn’t the right way to put it — the old-school way of thinking was. How they used to talk about these things.”

Does he expect the change Time’s Up seeks will be organic? “It would be a little passive to say it’s going to be totally organic,” he says bluntly. “But we’ve seen in the last months that there is real momentum.”

I can’t shift from my head some theatre I saw him do online from five years ago. The monologue was from White People by JT Rogers. After a largely satirical diatribe, he ended with a furious — and heartfelt — “What right does any human being have to be hateful?” before storming off stage.

Call Me by Your Name’s fandom is now at such a pitch that it already has its own nerds. They have noticed that the opening line of Love My Way, the track Armie Hammer does an elaborate dance to, is: “There’s an army on the dancefloor.” Cute. “OK, I did not know that,” Chalamet admits. Just that morning, they were discussing a possible film in which “he plays a president and I play a KGB spy”. They are the Brangelina we need right now.

Yet leave any film in the sun for long enough and it will get burnt. First, there has been press and online comment that it’s a story about grooming, which is weird, given that Elio is 17, Oliver is 24 and the age of consent in most American states is 16; in Italy, it’s 14. Still, that criticism persists. As does one about straight actors — which Chalamet and Hammer are — playing gay men. It can’t have been for box office, given that the former was unknown, but critics have questioned why out actors couldn’t be cast instead.

Chalamet pauses, which is rare, and answers carefully, as if they teach actors how to make a statement in the age of the hashtag along with the Stanislavski method.

“Well, first, it’s important for actors of all identifications to be represented, so any propulsion to bring that movement forward is good,” he begins. “But as relates to Call Me by Your Name, this is a story that presents love, sexuality, identification and orientation in a definitionless way. That’s one of the beautiful things about the movie. Ultimately, Luca [Guadagnino] is the best person to talk to, because this is his film and he does what he wants.”

“I don’t know anything about the sexuality of Armie or Timothée,” the director said huffily when I interviewed him last year, before adding that he didn’t think Elio would necessarily be a gay man later in life. Maybe the amount you care about the sexuality of the cast in Call Me by Your Name is directly related to how binary you consider sexuality. The film’s youngest actor, like most of his millennial peers, simply doesn’t care.

What about a sequel? “F***, yeah,” Chalamet says. “It’d be a dream. And the great thing about being an actor is that the storytelling would have nothing to do with me.”

I wish him luck with “those awards” as he leaves for another ceremony. He laughs. I meant the Oscars. “Oh, those awards?” He laughs louder, as if it hasn’t sunk in, and disappears into the lift. Up, up he goes, and, hours later, is named actor of the year by the London Critics’ Circle, beating that Oldman.

#3 - A Swiftie From Birth

See, when you have the same last name as Taylor Swift, it makes for a great conversation starter. Really opens doors—especially in the world of law.  Sara Swift wasn't what you would consider your average Swiftie, and her rise through the ranks of The Swift Army already upon her.  Her role today would be critical.  She was proud to have Taylor as a new client, their shared surname, though coincidental, made for a natural connection.  She had always proudly paraded the last name around on display in the various public and private aspects of her life: Sara’s business cards, and various professional and private social media accounts she possessed; credit cards, law degree, etc.  The fight just felt right.

Sara jumped on the treadmill at her gym—a quick lunchtime workout before the mental sparing with began with Scooter Braun.  She pushed play on her running mix, You Need To Calm Down began to play, it would be followed by Lover and then, well, the rest of the album, basically, her running mix was… Um, it was the new Taylor Swift album, let’s just be honest.  Her original mix had contained all the hits from the full Taylor catalog, but was pruned to contain only songs from her newest album, "Lover".  Sara hated the idea of giving in to those who held her heroine captive with their unfair contracts, and she wasn't alone, many other Swiftie soldiers shared her sentiment—a seething hatred for Scooter coursing through their veins. She upped the speed on the treadmill and eased into a full sprint... The battle along side Taylor would soon begin, and then she would once again restore her previous playlist, the full gift to the world, all of Taylor Swift and her entire catalog...  God, how she wanted to listen to Taylor’s old songs though—She craved the old songs, SO BAD, the music to which she had memory after memory attached.

Sara had met Taylor a total of four times in person, once back stage, VIP even! But when you're a lawyer, you sometimes can finagle access to such fancy fun things.  Especially when you have the same last name!  What what!  Does anyone still say that?  Anyway, she had been a fan since day one, having gravitated towards the teenage songwriter simply out of curiosity after going down an Internet rabbit hole at the end of a long and stressful night in her younger years working discovery for a case. Sara, was one of, if not, THE best entertainment contract law attorney in New York City. No one negotiated better, and that's a fact, so, take that.  No apologies.

She loved Taylor’s music.  Her career path ran parallel along Taylor's.  Every new album represented either a promotion or new work opportunity. Taylor's catalog of music was near and dear to her heart, it was part of her life, her career, it was a part of HER now, woven into her, and if someone was going to take that away from Taylor, it was the same as taking it away from Sara. They were in this together, one Swift to another. If anyone could help in finding a solution to this current situation, Sara Swift was certainly going to be one of the first in line to sign up for recruitment—Where do I join?  She had seen plenty of sneakily written contracts in her career. She absolutely abhorred games hidden in the fine print, things like no-contest clauses and a menagerie of other manipulative gag words meant to bind and blind those who can’t see the world the way lawyers could, lost in lines of legal lingo. See, contracts are all about control, and nothing more.  But, a lot times, you hide things in plain sight, so the person signing takes the bait and happily asks for even more. She had seen her fair share of swiftly swindling contracts, the language made her blood boil, you try to question those in power and you lose it all!  The thing you desire, dangling above your head. You can see, but can’t touch.  You do as we say, or suffer the consequences. Sara felt very strongly that sharing what is happening to one artist could change the awareness level for other artists and potentially help them avoid a similar fate. The message being sent is usually very clear. Basically, be a good little artist and shut up. Or you’ll be punished. Hah, Sara thought to herself, not so fast there buddy.  There are a few of us out here in the legal world who don’t have malevolent motives in mind.

Sara had lived in California for a short stint both during and for a little while after law school. She obtained her undergrad at the University of Notre Dame, a BA in English, but decided to head out west from there–University of California, Hastings College of the Law, focusing on communication, sports and entertainment. A contact she met at UC would take her to LA, which in turn would lead her to a volunteer opportunity with the California Lawyers for the Arts, funny how life works like that.  You know? Actually, side story, her first Taylor Swift concert was a small get together of soon to be Swifities she met from her time spent working with the non-profit organization battling against bad actors.  They were the first to point out that Sara and Taylor both had the same last name. “Have you heard this new artist, Sara? She has your last name!  Or, maybe you have hers?”  Sara’s Swiftie status stuck.  

“Why yes I have, you should come with me to a concert!”  Sara told them.  

“I don’t know, her music is okay, I’m just not crazy about it.”  Her friends had replied.  After the concert they changed, nothing was more satisfying than turning someone, maybe we all become Swifties in the end.

Having done a lot of work for the non-profit organization where her friends and now newly minted Swifties first met, she knew the troubles that musicians often ran into later in their careers due to mistakes made early on.  If only they had proper legal representation from the start.  If only everyone knew what kind of easter eggs were hidden in plain sight, sitting there before their very eyes.  Sara pondered the predicament of Taylor, Scooter, and the American Music Awards as she pushed the speed of the treadmill to a faster pace.  This fight was personal, but it was personal for every Swiftie who had spent time getting to know Taylor’s songs.  It is personal.  Her songs are a piece of a Swiftie’s life.  Sara just loved Taylor’s music, I mean, how could you not?  Just listen to it, and then listen to it again… and again… and again… every listen better than the previous… Ugh, her music is so good!

Just then ‘Shake It Off’ sounded through her Bluetooth ear buds.  She allowed herself one guilty pleasure song from the old catalog.  Sara pressed max speed on the running machine and pushed the volume up letting Taylor’s voice soak into her ears and permeate her brain, it’s like I’ve got this music in my mind, sayin’ gonna be alright.  Sara suddenly felt the same frustrations and anger Taylor felt in this fight, it’s just not right.  I want my past connection back; I need old Taylor and new Taylor songs to be one.

Elsewhere, Scooter sat in an expensive leather office chair, leaning back slightly twirling a pen between his fingers while reading a legal document on a computer screen. He stopped every now and then to glance at a large television screen displaying a live sporting event.  Contracts too are like a game, but with real life consequences for those involved.  But, in real life, the definition of those involved can extend vastly beyond the individuals who sign on the dotted line.

My feelings on the Pokemon Anime!

Taken from my DeviantArt journal.

Long ago, I asked various people on what is so great about the Pokemon anime. The main one with Ash as the (never dying/quitting) protagonist. I enjoyed it as a kid for some time. But as I grew up, I learned to hate it. It's such a nonsensical mess... And yet people love it to bits, for some incomprehensible reason. In fact, if there were to be a movie scene to describe, how incomprehensible this is to me... The "Ass Movie" scene from Idiocracy would be a perfect fit. (Go look it up yourself. It shouldn't be hard to find on YouTube. ;) ) With everyone loving it, but me as the only one who can't believe the people around myself. So I tried to understand, why people like it so much. Because I seriously can't understand how grown up people can enjoy such a trippy, random mess of events. Especially Pokemon-Fans, considering the Anime is a very poor representation of the Pokemon-games... So I asked around... It's been a while, since then. But the people I asked seem to agree with some of the criticism the anime receives. But they don't mind it too much. The good things the anime has is enough for them to enjoy. Or they find Ash an interesting character to follow, despite how much the writers decide to misuse him... Or it is about the better look at the world of Pokemon and the Pokemon themselves... Or to see what other forms of competitions are there in the Pokemon-World, outside of battles. I still don't agree with most of them. But if they can enjoy it, then all is good. But sadly, I can't! Despite liking the main games, I have a lot of problems with the Pokemon-Series in general. The main anime is at the top of my list! I have a VERY harsh opinion of the Pokemon Anime. One that I will share with you now. If you are sensitive about stuff like this, then you better stop reading now. You have been warned... To be fair, not everything about the anime is terrible. It does have some good things going for it. The aforementioned better look on the world, seeing what wild Pokemon do outside of battling and seeing other forms of competition, like sled races and such.

So basicly a mix of expanding upon the world seen in the games, Pokemon Wildlife Documentary and action-packed battling.

And if it were only that, I would probably enjoy it. But sadly, it has a lot of terrible things, ruining all the good stuff for me. So much, that I hate it, regardless of the things it did correct! The trippy, random things. Such as Jessie, James and Meowth constantly attacking the party with "Dr. Robotnik" machines. Them always getting blasted, giant Pokemon mimicing Godzilla, Mecha-Pokemon, men with boobs, etc. etc. This is the primary reason, why I think the story writers must be on a drug-trip, on their jobs. I can't explain why else, people would put this in a Pokemon-related thing and think of it as a good idea. It's not funny... It's CRINGEWORTHY! And more importantly, THIS ISN'T POKEMON!!! Pokemon isn't fighting Dr. Robotnik/Dr. Wily machines over and over again... Or fighting mechs in general... Or Pokemon pulling a Godzilla, growing massive and destroying entire cities... There are too much of these stupid things happening in the anime. Far more than I can count or remember... But I know one thing: THEY ARE STUPID AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH POKEMON!! It doesn't tell a good story or develops the main character well. Story-writing and character development is something I expect from every sort of storytelling, including animes. A good story and characters that grow, learn and develop over time, make a story compelling. But the anime story-writers completely fail at this! It is obvious to me now, that storytelling and character development was never a factor in the making of this anime. It's all about the cash-in and advertisement. Which is exactly why it's so bad! And the thing that makes it most obvious to me, that they don't really care about developing Ash as a character... Is the fact that they always push the "Reset Button" at the end of every reason, completely negating everything Ash has learned and making him start all over again in a different region. The most infuriating thing to most people, as I have seen. And I completely agree with the anger (though personally, I think there is an offense far worse than this one.). And I kinda feel sorry for Ash. I don't really see him as a bad character. Throughout most seasons, I think he had a cool design and in the anime he actually did some badass-things! It's a shame the story-writers never decided to make use of his full potential and instead use him as a cash-cow. Milking him for everything he is worth, instead of giving him closure and a strong ending. He has suffered the same fate as characters like "SpongeBob". SpongeBob was a great series and he himself a really likable character. Then the creator ran out of ideas and wanted to end the series. But SpongeBob was too much of financial success to Nickelodeon... They didn't want to lose their primary cash-cow! So they artifically extended the series, without the creator's blessing. The result was a massive loss in story and character quality. SpongeBob heavily deteriorated as a character, as a result! And a similar thing happened to Ash. He is a cash-cow and not a true character, like a should be! One thing about making a good character, is to know when to end his/her story! Every story has an end! So giving a character a fitting end and closure, and maybe passing the torch to the next main character, is something vital to making a good character. There are a lot of anime-series who do this right and have great characters as a result! Such as "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure" or even "Digimon". (Seriously, give the Rival-Monsters a chance! Their anime-series are FAR BETTER than the Pokemon anime will ever be!) Now you have Plot-Armor... Now you don't! The powers of Ash and his Pokemon are so inconsistent... One episode he can take down the Gym Leaders with ease, or even stand toe to toe with LEGENDARY POKEMON! While in another episode he loses to someone with the stupidest of excuses! And as the series went on, they decided to come up with the most ridiculous excuses to make Ash lose and keep him around. Such as creating a random, uninteresting character with a FULL LEGENDARY TEAM!! HOW DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?!?!? But yeah, this stupid thing adds to the point of "Bad storytelling". The anime-writers are unwilling to have any other main characters Seriously, if they gave Ash closure in the Gen 1 season and started featuring the other seasons with a main character of their own, it'd be a much better anime. Such as an anime-version of "Gold" as the main protagonist of Gen 2, May as the main character of Gen 3, etc. And speaking of May, I have to ask one thing: Why are Pokemon Anime-makers in general so against the idea of a female lead?! Seriously in every Pokemon-anime in existence (not just the Ash-Anime!), it's always the male character featured. And the female counterpart is either not featured at all or is put in a much lesser role, than she should be. Ever since Crystal, we could pick our gender. Given that, is it really so bad for a female character to be the main character for once?! The anime doesn't represent the games well at all. For instance there are so many "Canonical Errors" in this anime-series! The most annoying thing is "Pokemon saying their own names". While in actuality they are supposed to make roars and noises, similar to real-life animals! Ok, in the game-canon there are SOME Pokemon, that do this. Such as Pikachu! But most Pokemon are supposed to make grunts, cries and roars. Not to mention Pokemon constantly saying their own names IS ABSOLUTE TORTURE TO LISTEN TO! Seriously, it's one of these things that give me the idea of forcing a running drill through my ears! And it is one of the reasons, why Pikachu is my least favourite Pokemon in the series! But then there are also a lot of other things: In-game characters being totally different in the anime, story-differences, etc etc. Basicly the anime not trying to capture the games. To be fair, in some of these instances, the changes were actually good. And it felt more like the anime "taking artistic liberties", rather than failing at completely capturing the games. But most of the changes are bad, rather than good. Prime example: The entirety of the Black/White season! With Team Plasma mind controlling Pokemon, rather than trying to liberate them. It was a story-change so bad, that the Pokemon Company finally had the balls to FIRE the story-writers. (Good riddance. They belong to rehab anyways...) Too bad the new ones aren't that much better... I'm not against changes in the story. But they should be well thought out and add to the experience, rather than taking away from it. But more often than not, the changes were absolutely terrible. And the few good ones don't exactly help it. Especially with the absolute worst offense the anime has done, in my opinion... Character Bastardization and the "Fan Character Curse" This is where I get really angry at the anime! Great characters from the games, that either not exist at all in the anime (such as Krys, Brendan or Wally!) or WORSE, are heavily bastardized. The best example of character bastardization happening in the anime, is May! An unpopular opinion perhaps. But May from the original Ruby and Sapphire is one my favourite characters in the series. In the Player-Role, she is the badass-trainer you can expect her to be. And in the Rival-Role, I found her to be lovable, yet slightly tomboyish and capable. Not to mention she had a cool design in the GBA-originals! She really looked like a brave adventurer. And to this day, she has my favourite design of any Player-Character in the series. (Screw the naysayers, I love her!) Which is why I find it so infuriating, how much the anime destroyed her character! In the anime, she basicly dislikes Pokemon and only takes on the trainer-route for travelling. Not to mention she is A FREAKING WUSS in the anime! She gets scared of every little thing happening. And is absolutely terrible as a trainer! Basicly the exact opposite, as she is in the games! And ultimately she was demoted to being Ash's tag-along, when she easily could've been the main character herself! I will come back to that later... And they did it to other characters as well. Such as Dawn or Serena! Who also easily could've been the main characters, but took on a much lesser role, that didn't do them justice at all! Or Maylene, who was first depicted as being absolutely useless as a Gym Leader, only growing capable under Ash's guidance. Or Korrina, who couldn't control Mega Evolution and was rather weak, when compared to the games, where she is the successor of her grandfather, who passed on the knowledge of Mega Evolution and passed it on to you. And considering that both Maylene and Korrina were my favourite Gym Leaders in the respective Gens, it breaks my heart to see them bastardized like this. And then they make terrible OCs like Max from the Gen 3. Did anyone even like this arrogant, obnoxious little piece of sh**?! And most of these bastardizations seem to happen, to give Ash more of a presence. This is where the "Fan Character Curse" part comes into play. For those of you who don't know: The "Fan Character Curse" is a phenomenon among fan-created works, mostly FanFictions. Where said fanworks feature canon characters, but make them weak or otherwise bastardize them, in order to promote their own Fan Characters. And as a result, completely negates the achievements and strength of the official characters, in said fanwork. This may be a phenomenon happening in fan-works most of the time. But Ash Ketchum is the prime example that even official characters can be guilty of this! Because seriously, the exact same thing is happening here! Many of the in-game characters are bastardized and/or are given a much less important role than they deserve, just to promote Ash! Which is why the anime feels like a badly written FanFiction most of the time! In honestly don't have anything else to say to this. There are other strange things about the anime, such as Ash constantly having human sidekicks (including two Gym Leaders in both Gen 1 and 2!). Why does he need them again...? And considering you always travel alone in the games, at least as far as humans are concerned, it just feels strange. But this isn't really bad, just strange. In any case, this is the end of my long essay. Summary So basicly, the anime doesn't fail completely. Expanding the world, seeing the Pokemon Wild Life, more competitions outside battling and action-packed Pokemon battles, are the things it does correctly! But the Canonical Errors, bad storytelling and character development, the random BS happening and the bastardization of characters from the games, is what makes it so unbearable! In my opinion it does far more things wrong, than correct! So for me "Pokemon Origins" remains as the only good Pokemon Anime series. It may be short and cut out a lot of criticial plot-points, to cram everything from Pokemon Red and Blue into 4 episodes. But what it did deliver, didn't disappoint at all! We saw Red starting out as a weakling, but he grew as a character, became champion and even caught Mewtwo in the end. These 4 episodes of Origins succeed, where 1000+ episodes of Pokemon Main Anime fail horribly! And I recently watched "Digimon Adventures 1 and 2" again. Since I had fond memories of them as well. And unlike the Pokemon Main Anime, they still hold up today. Simply because the Digimon-Anime takes their characters seriously. They grow and develop as characters and actually are given closure and a fitting end. It tells a good story, rather than being a 30 minutes advertisement. Seriously, I recommend the Digimon Anime series. They handle their characters so much better. So please give the Rival-Monsters a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised. And that is all I'm saying today. See ya! :D

October 23: Ark Judicial System II

This is an incredibly self-serving conclusion I'm about to come to but: there is no way that the Ark doesn't have some sort of judicial system. By system, I mean they must hold trials or hearings, determine facts, and apply law to fact in order to declare guilt or innocence.

Besides the canonical references to hearings for juvenile offenders aging out of lock-up (which I've already harped on), to lack even a simple standardized system for determining would be incredibly cruel in its arbitrariness in a way that is out of character for this particular society.

This isn't to say that the Ark isn't cruel or arbitrary, because it's obviously both. It's a harsh, dystopian society primarily characterized by its draconian punishments, and while it professes to apply its strict laws equally, it quite clearly doesn't. (In my opinion, this not-so-hidden arbitrariness is what stratifies the classes on the Ark, not material wealth.)  

But it isn't proudly arbitrary or (for lack of a better term) barbarically cruel. The Ark is our initial protagonist society, the closest thing to modern society we see in the show, the people with whom we're most meant to identify. Unlike the Grounders, who seem to have no communal pre-war memory and apparently formed their society from scratch, the Ark formed out of the slightly-future versions of nations that exist today. Despite the frustratingly squishy timeline, we might expect familiar elements to appear in their governmental structure. And in fact the Arkers are a people with an elected government, written laws and charters, and prison facilities. Further, the whole basis of their judicial structure is so simple and so clean (simpler and cleaner than could ever actually be put into practice), that we can see in it the way they value efficiency, logic, and even fairness. They probably have a limited set of distinct prohibitions, whose overall purpose is to protect the community's resources and to ensure the authority of its governing body, and they impose one of only two punishments on offenders, the punishment based on only one factor: the age of the offender.

Such a system has to include some sort of protective mechanism to keep innocent people from being executed or spending their childhoods in prison. If all it takes to trigger an execution is a random rumor or some bad luck, the party line that the system is unflaggingly, if unforgivably, fair falls apart, and the authority of the council is threatened—we already see, in S1, tension forming within the society based on the lower classes' sense that the upper classes exist outside of the law. Further, the council's sense of its own fairness and rightness would be threatened. Regardless of the criticism they get from within the show, or from the viewer, it seems pretty clear to me that Jaha, Abby, and Kane all believe what they're doing is right, and not even Abby rebels against the basic structure of her society even if she's fond of breaking specific rules all the time. Third, if the overall goal of the Ark is to protect humanity in general so that future generations can live on the Earth again, killing off random citizens all over the place is not the way to do it. Overcrowding aside, they do need people to keep the Ark running and to preserve information/history/culture for the future. And finally, I think it's fair to assume that the first generation, in writing out laws so much more draconian and simplistic than anything any of them would have experienced on Earth, would have balked at allowing their new state to impose such harsh punishments without proving guilt in some way. (Or at least, I hope they would have.)

Maybe this is just the law nerd/JD in me talking but given all of this, I don't think it makes sense for the Ark not to have a judicial system of some sort. I don't think they have a separate judicial branch and I have to admit that I don't see much evidence that they have a trial system of the kind that would be familiar to me. "Hearings" is probably a better word to describe the process of determining guilt, and I doubt it comes with a full Fifth Amendment complement of due process protections. But I think it exists.

I've had to go to such lengths to convince even myself of this because we actually see a full judicial cycle on the show itself: crime, discovery of crime by the state, declaration of guilt, sentencing—a couple of times, actually, all involving Abby. I can think of at least three times that Abby has broken a law on the show: twice on the Ark (violating medical rationing law to save Jaha's life; black market trading to get Raven's escape pod part) and once in Camp Jaha (handing out guns to people outside the Guard). If I'm right, there should have been some sort of hearing or judicial process within these storylines. But there wasn't.

I think there is a narrative reason for this (which, given the disinterest of JRoth et. al. in worldbuilding, is probably the dominant reason), and an in-universe reason. The narrative reason is there is no drama to be had in an official determination of guilt in these instances. The drama and the plot is in the criminal activity, and in the revelation of that activity and the imposition of a sentence: not carried out in the first instance, carried out to no purpose in the third, and carried out in modified form to great plot-importance in the second. We see Abby commit each of these three offenses; we know that she did them; there is no question of guilt or innocence for us. What we most want to know is if the authorities (Kane) will find out and what they (he) will do then. There's no sense that Abby will weasel her way out of a finding of guilt and no satisfaction to be found in watching her evade a finding of guilt on a technicality.  

However, I think there's an in-narrative explanation for the skipping of the hearing-step in Abby's case(s). These are personal dramas, just as much as if not more than they are judicial dramas. Abby is a Council member herself, which means that she meets Kane and the other Council members on even ground. She has as much knowledge as they do, the same authority, has taken the same oath to the Ark as they have. She doesn't hide her actions but comes forward as, essentially, a fellow-ruler to debate, perhaps not in so many words, the working of the law itself. It's like a parliamentary debate played out over the physical body of one of the group's members herself. Essentially, I think Abby has waived her right to trial by being up front about her guilt in each instance, and since sentencing is never a separate matter in this system, an admission of guilt leaves nothing to adjudicate. (I personally would have liked dialogue to this effect but, eh, this is clearly my interest, not the writers'.)

Because Abby is the only person we actually see commit a crime, be arrested, and come face to face with the Ark government over her transgressions, and we never see a hearing or even get a mention of one, I think it's easy to assume that such hearings don't exist, at least not for adults or juveniles upon arrest. That we have so many characters with criminal histories, and still no mention of hearings etc., underscores this impression. Still, the show has really not concerned itself very often with flashbacks or dialogue about the past, so it's not that surprising that we don't know much about what sort of hearing or process they went through. With the exception of Finn, no one has even been shown to be innocent or otherwise contested their guilt. Apparently, the Ark judicial system has been basically successful at putting only the guilty in prison. (Personally, I think this has a lot to do with the small size of the community, and I also think that there are probably more people breaking laws and getting away with it because they know the right people, rather than innocent people being punished, but these are just instincts.) (Though how interesting would it have been to have an innocent person who had contested their guilt among the 100? Am I the only one who thinks that? Okay, that's cool, that's cool.)

Anyway, for my purposes, the interesting thing is what these hearings look like. We see a little bit of a judicial proceeding, or something in the ball park of one, when Abby is stripped of her Council seat. It's something official, at least, and it takes place in the Council chambers, with only the other Council members there. Kane feels comfortable enough declaring guilt and imposing a sentence on Abby in an ad-hoc way while she's at work, but I feel like that is an outlier situation, done to create some drama, to cut some corners, and maybe if I'm charitable to show how fully Kane has taken over everything in Jaha's absence, I don't know. I think the scene in the Council chambers is more indicative of how they usually do things. I don't think people standing in front of the council get any sort of representation or help, but I assume they can say their piece. Maybe present evidence. I imagine the Ark has people who can present evidence too, because I do think they want to prove guilt to some degree, and I can't imagine there are never situations where the accused's guilt is uncertain or where there is ambiguity in the known facts.

So I'm picturing a judicial position within Ark society, not quite the Guard and not quite the Council, not elected, whose job it is to gather information for cases and present it to the Council, sort of like a prosecutor, but who perhaps (if this person is Wells, and this person is definitely Wells because I'm thinking of my Ark AU) also has or feels a responsibility to dismiss cases that are without merit and/or to work with the accused before they meet the Council. It's obviously nothing elaborate—this is very hard for me to wrap my mind around—but it's something more than 'we vaguely suspect you of X, now we shall execute you.'