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ghost1643 · 4 years

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ConnorxLGBTQ+ reader

Y/N-your name

L/N-Last name

S/g- sexuality and/or gender identity.

~~~~~~~~~,

You were alway different growing up. No that didn't mean you were anything special. It didn't make you the chosen one or some movie garbage like that.

It was just the other kids in school that you knew were confident about themselves. The moment they went through puberty they would be talking about how sexy their bodies were, or/and what they were attracted to. As for you, you had always felt trapped.

It was like you were locked in a cell. A cell that kept you in the dark. A cell you can try to escape but, fail each time. You could scream and cry and try to claw your way out but, it never worked. Why? The reason you felt trapped as the way you were was due to the fact of how you felt. You felt like you never belonged with these people. People who judged others who felt different from the mass crowd. People were born liking just the one gender and liking the opposite sex. They were just so different.

Then in sixth grade, you got a little thing called Tumblr. You began research things about how you felt. Just to see if others out there were like you. Then you found it. You found a S/g definition that represented how you felt about yourself. It made you so happy to feel like you belonged to something! Yet, you knew not to come out yet. You wanted to stay the normal person you had always been for a little while longer.

Then one day in your senior year in high school you're debate class was talking about LGBTQ+rights. Five minutes in you were scared of what you had heard. There were so many insulting words and disgusting looks when talking about it. You could still hear the insults today if you closed your eyes.

"They're just fags."

"Just chose if you like men or women. It's not that hard! If not you get an STD and die!"

"Them? They? It? Why do they need so many pronouns? Can't they just stop being so over dramatic and go by he or her?"

"If god made you as a woman then, stay a woman."

"Why would you lay with someone of the same sex if the bible clearly says you'll go to hell? Do you wanna burn that bad?"

From that point on you avoid conversations on the community. You locked yourself in the closet for as long as you could. You lasted longer than what you expected! In fact you stayed in the closet until you graduated from college.

The year after that you went home for Christmas making a post on Tumblr when your nephew grabbed your phone. He giggled and ran with it around the house. You chased after him but, he gave the phone to your mother. She read your confession about you being S/g and throw your phone across the room, breaking it. Then she threw you out of the house before throwing your clothes out the window yelling insults at you as she did so.

It was something that made you wanna cry when thinking about it today. After that day your mother told everyone. You often came home to the word fag spray painted to your door. Someone people even threw stuff at you when you walked down the street. It was awful. So awful that you decided to move to a larger city, one far away from home as possible. A city called, Detroit.

You had been living there as an open person and were sort of excepted. Those who expect you though kept you from getting the shit beat out of you. The best part was that they excepted you for being G/s. You loved the the most.

You had gotten a job at the police station. It was amazing that you were doing exactly what you wanted to from when you were younger. You were helping people. As for the people you worked with, they were all assholes.

They all treated you at first like you were diseased. Except for Hank. He seemed to somehow understand and was the only one to treat you like a person at first. Then over more time, more people on the force excepted you. Things were great, then they sent him to work.

Just by glancing in your direction you knew you were attracted to him. His eyes made your heart speed up. His voice sent shivers up your spine and his body form was amazing. It was the Prince Charming you always washed for. Yet, there was one thing you forgot to mention. He was an android.

Or as he liked to say the Android sent by cyberlife.

Yet, everyone else knew him as Connor.

During his first day at work he scanned you while researching your history like most androids you had seen or worked with had. You expect to be judged. Instead you got acceptance. He looked at you and you can still hear what he said in your kind when you closed you eyes today.

"Let me say office L/N, you have such pride for being S/g that I can't wait to see how much pride you have in your work."

You could remember the looks he gave you currently as you think about this. It was always a look of longing. It made you wish he liked you enough to ask out. Yet, he was an android. And yet he had been telling everyone that androids don't have feelings unless they were deviants, so it was a dumb idea.

Then it happened.

Connor became a deviant. And he joined a rebellion. He just left which hurt but, you knew it needed to be done in order for him to find himself just like you had years ago.

Hank had gone to cyber life tower for some reason that you just knew had to do with Conner. So you waited outside CyberLife tower praying to god that Connor lived. The first person to leave the tower was a smiling Hank. He froze though seeing you.

"Hank! Hank where's Connor?" You panic running over and holding him by the shoulders.

"Y/N what are you doing here?" He asks panicked.

"Don't play dumb. I know Connor's in there and I've been tracking you through your car!" You snap.

"That's a little creepy." Hank mumbled.

"How do I know when your dying of alcohol poisoning at a bar without I-No wait! Stop trying to change the subject. Where the hell is Connor?" You asked panicked.

Hank sighed before hearing the doors open and happily move out of the way. Then you saw Connor. He was a little beat up but, it was still him. Tory let out a yelp of joy before running over and hugging him.

Connor smiles hugging you back.

"Where the hell have you been?" You snap leaning back glaring at him.

"With Markus." He smiled.

"Wow..You went straight to the big top with the rebellion I see." You smirked.

"Well you know me Y/N, I am an overachiever." He smirks back making you smile again. Then it hits you again. He left.

"W-why did you leave? Were you not happy with us?......With me?" You mumble. Connor reaches down and cups your face making up look at him.

"I left to embarrass who I was. You know that better than anyone. And you should also know what I found out about my self."

"Oh really? And what did you find out?"

"That I like dogs a lot. That it's easy to make friends with everyone. We all deserve equal rights. Now ask me what I realized."

"What did you realize?"

"That I love you." He smirked before kissing you. At first your eyes widened as you blushed. You heart speed up. Then out wrapped your arms around Corner's metal hips and kissed back. It had been three minutes of nothing before pure kissing before Hank coughed. You both looked at him.

"I'm happy for you guys but, wait until you two get home and the rebellion succeeds before getting married." Hank smiled making you blushed. Connor just smiled widely like his dad had given him a pat on the back.

"Don't worry lieutenant. We will." Connor smiled.

Just like that you were excited for what ever came next.

#reblogs welcome #xreader #wsrning first xreader story #edgy #connor x reader #dbh connor #dbh #pride month #lol

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thestarsintheknight · 5 years

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Fixable Moments in Endgame [Endgame Spoilers, duh]

WHY I PERSONALLY THINK SOME CHARACTER ARCS WERE DONE DIRTY, PUT UNDER THE CUT AND IF THAT DOESN’T WORK I PUT TWO OF MY DOG PICTURES SO YOU CAN SCROLL REALLY FAST.

Just so you know, and this is at the end of the post as well. I still really enjoyed Endgame for what it was and for what we got. I just have a few problems I’m pretty vocal about too. But I’m trying to not let that effect me as much.

LAST WARNING, ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay so hopefully those pictures of my dogs will allow you to calm and relax. If you’ve seen my last post, I was really upset with just how Tony died.

I first came out of Endgame like, okay that was pretty okay closure, sure. Steve’s happy and Tony can finally rest and everyone’s alive and Natasha could be at peace with herself because of well, her ledger.

Then I kept thinking. No. They didn’t deserve this end.

Nat’s death was the only death done well. The only one. But I have more about the soul stone later on.

Steve didn’t really die, and I knew he was gonna not be Captain America but I was curious as to how. I also really wanted Sam to wield that shield because even if Shuri cleaned Bucky of his whole Hydra-ness in his brain, I really do think Sam deserved that shield. So good on you Russos. Because in TWS, it’s said that Sam’s just like Steve, just slower. Steve is the embodiment of Captain America, if that’s the case then that means so is Sam.

But why in the world did Steve decide to go back in time and be with Peggy? It was pretty closely put there in the show, Agent Carter, and in general that Peggy ended up with Daniel Sousa. Or just someone who wasn’t Steve. Why did Steve have a thing with Sharon in CW then? What was the point of her character? Sharon was badass, but like come on Russos!!! Steve is not one to see something going south and look the other way. That was very well established in CW, directed by the Russos. Yet he goes back in time, sticks with Peggy knows the things he knows about everything (like the Cold War, BUCKY) and you’re telling me he decided to have a domestic life? No!!! IF he even decided to stay back there, he would not sit still. He would have done something. Plus, you can’t say that when Sharon was born and Steve became her uncle that’s a little fucking weird. What the hell was Steve’s ending Russos? Steve’s arc was throughout his trilogy and later Avengers movies was finding his place in the modern world and finding Bucky. He did so much to get Bucky back only to leave him?! Come on, he knows how it feels to be alone in a different time why would he do that to Bucky? Someone who he fought for and said “Till the end of the line” but he broke that promise. Steve’s at the end of his line already by the end of Endgame. So what’s left of that promise? Nothing, it was dusted.

So yeah, I’m upset about Steve’s ending. An entirely better way could have just been that maybe he’s the one that dies (I would have been upset probably, but it would be very him) instead of Tony. Because Steve has always been the one to sacrifice himself. That would be his arc, seeing the situation going so fucking south that he’s like “Whatever it takes!!” And he gets that gauntlet and snaps. Or maybe he loses his super soldier serum and that’s how he survives but gives the shield to Sam instead. I haven’t really thought of this one so you can add on.

Tony, god Tony’s ending fucking hurt. Tony’s death, his funeral, all of it. It was unfair. All he wanted was a domestic life but the Russos gave that to Steve even though Steve’s character would not want that domestic life? Tony could have been rested not by death but with his little girl, his wife, Peter who he finally got back, knowing that his friendship with Steve is better now. And could grow better if the two were still alive. That was Tony’s deserved arc, fighting the fight to end the fight so he could GO HOME and be with his FAMILY. That’s what should have happened. That’s what he deserved. Go ahead and tell me otherwise. I know it’s shorter of an explanation than Steve’s but that’s mostly because people know Tony better and I think people can agree with me on this more. Pepper didn’t deserve to see Tony die, Peter too, and his best fucking friend Rhodey. They knew he fought this fight to end it so he could spend some time and just retire to be with his family.

Ways to fix this: Not kill Tony. Have someone else wield the gauntlet. Steve perhaps? Or maybe even Thor.

Edit [4/29/19]: I am now a little more accepting of Tony’s death but I’m just tired that it has to be through death to have the future Avengers come in. I’m tired that there always has to be angst and whatnot(which I talk about towards the end of this meta) to make things realistic. Realistic =/= sadness and negativity and all of that shit. Happy endings can be realistic. But I’ll always be sad. Here’s a good meta that explains something very well regarding his death: (link) by @van-dyne.

I would have actually been fine if Tony died if he didn’t have his little girl. (Find Tinymintywolf’s side twitter, not her art twitter, for an explanation on this). But then they introduced Morgan and whoop there it is, he has a family what he’s been wanting for so long.

Thor is an Asgardian and we’re all aware of how much his mental health was hit. Yet he was reduced to a fucking joke. Like wow hahahaha so funny—not. I feel like, Thor wouldn’t need a redemption arc. But I know in his mind, he’d feel like he should because he blames himself, right? If he were to wield the gauntlet instead, it would make himself feel better about himself, better about being the king his people needed while still being an Avenger. Thor also shouldn’t have left his people. So let’s say he does wield the gauntlet. He goes back to his people and he finally feels worthy to lead. So that’s what he does, he finally gets back to being the king that his character arc had developed for him in his own trilogy, and being an Avenger. That should have happened.

It just makes sense because each movie was mostly about him building his way up to become the king he was supposed to be. Those few lines he exchanged with Valkyrie along the lines of “maybe I shouldn’t be the person I’m supposed to be but rather the person I [need/want] to be” ??? I can’t remember. I just thought that was lowkey like, wot. But for further emphasis, the first movie was about how he wasn’t worthy to hold the hammer or even be king. The second one was figuring out how to be a good man and a king. The third was trying to figure if he was the one to actually be king, and at the end of Ragnarok, he is.

If Thor weren’t to wield it, then maybe Hulk. What if Bruce just lost Hulk. Then it’s just Bruce and he could be himself. Like the whole Professor Hulk thing was pretty interesting and I didn’t have a problem with it. This is just a little thought that I didn’t really think much on so you can add on to this too.

Now we get to Nat. Nat and Clint’s little fight with each other was very much in character. I don’t really like MCU Clint, I think the whole farmhouse scene could have still been done with one minor change, Laura’s not his wife, it’s his sister or his sister-in-law because he has a brother, Barry!!! Then all those kids are like his nieces/nephews. Anyways, that was the only death that was done that I feel sad but I feel so much closure on, Tony’s, Steve’s, and even Thor’s endings gave “closure” not the right one for each character, as explained before. I’m just upset that there wasn’t a funeral scene for her, or more grieving. Or just, something.

Then here’s a little idea, not sure if it could work but if Steve was going to go return the soul stone at Vormir, the way the rules work at that mountain is “A soul for a soul” right? Then by giving up the soul stone, can’t he bring back Nat? And if that’s the case then Clint should be the one returning the soul stone. So maybe the reason why when Bruce said (and I got this from a different tumblr post, I forgot who so let me know so I can give credit) he couldn’t bring Nat back was because they already gave the soul stone back (because time travel is whack) and Nat is already back.

There’s so much more that I’m probably forgetting, I may update or just reblog more. If you guys want to talk or vent, please feel free! I don’t bite! And I’m open to other ideas and just how you think it should have ended.

Here’s a disclaimer as well: This is not something against the actors and actresses, they all did so well. I think it’s in part a bit of Russos and the writers and anyone else who develops this story. I’m also not saying this because I’m sad Tony’s dead and Steve is no longer Captain America. I would have been fine with Steve not being Captain America anymore if done right.

Also, why does everything always have to be so dark? So edgy? Angsty? It’s fictional so can’t we just... Have that sort of happiness? I’ve watched the MCU for hope, happiness, and you know a good ending. It’s not what I got though. I love the characters, all of them. I like little pellets of angst here and there. But just, why? I’m not sure if I can keep watching the MCU. I still might but I might also just disregard bits and pieces of Endgame.

I just think that the moment you bring in time travel it screws things up. Because essentially it brings in the whole multiverse and if we’re trying the make the MCU one singular timeline, then, uh, hello? Also the entire thing with five years passed but everyone comes back from the moment they disappeared, WOT. Okay, I’m done.

[Minor edit in this Paragraph, 4/29]Overall, I still enjoyed Endgame. A lot. There were so many good moments and a lot of moments where the characters were just them. I loved it a lot and I’m trying to overlook a few things here and there because what I’ve said shouldn’t ruin the movie. I still really enjoyed it a lot. It was good because this was the movie we’ve been waiting for. A nod to the fans, the actors, everyone who created this universe. It was just something that was amazing. @suitofhumour had a really strong point in their post (link) that I’m alluding to here and I don’t want to take credit for it so please, give it a read. Some things don’t sit right with me and I’m so fucking heartbroken over Tony okay, and I’m mad about Steve and Thor. But, yeah.

[Edit 5/5/19] I GOT ANOTHER THING. If what the former Sorcerer Supreme had said that if one stone got removed from their timeline, there’s nothing that can keep the flow of time, reality, whatever, in check and would ultimately destroy their timeline. Which is why Steve had to go back in time to give it all back seconds after removing it. By that logic, can’t you say that if you were to destroy the stones, then wouldn’t it mean there are no more stones to keep all of the flow of whatever in check? So since the OG timeline no longer has the stones because their Thanos destroyed it, then what?

Here’s another picture of my dog to calm you down. If needed.

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tellerford13 · 7 years

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MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 22

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

A/N:

Surprise! A huge thanks to all who’ve sent us amazing reviews and comments. You truly keep the muse happy. Again an early Valentine ’s Day to you. <3 We hope you’re enjoying the one on one time with our couples.

Mo Astor Chapter 22

Lee

The sound of the phone makes me grunt. I glance over and realize it’s still dark out.

“Who the fuck is calling you at three in the morning?” Jax groans. He reaches over me and picks up the vibrating menace off the night stand. “Oh shit.” He chuckles. “Baby J! How the hell are you?”

I sit up, instantly awake. “Give me the phone.”

“No, I want to talk to her,” he says turning his back. “Are you having fun? Yeah? Can you even walk.” He barks a laugh. “What? It’s a legitimate question. I’m concerned for your well-being. He treating you good? Is his family?” He huffs. “Cause it’s my job Baby J. Says the piece of slip Ma signed when Sugar went to jail for two years. This shit is official. I’m the big brother.”

I shake my head and wipe away the sleep from my eyes. He loves to pull out the paper issue. It’s his ace in the hole. I remember one time when Journee had been hurt and was in the hospital he’d nearly taken someone’s head off when they told him, family only. The staff never made that mistake again.

“Yeah. She’s here. …Good.” His voice changes. It’s softer and less confident. “Yeah, I’m glad too. Shut up J.”

I laugh. The infamous I’m just saying has been followed by Shut up J for as long as I can remember.

“Here. Talk to your sister,” he says thrusting the phone at me.

Her giggles sound in my ear.

“You sound happy.”

She sighs. “I am. You sound sleepy. Did I interrupt play time?”

I snicker. “No, that was before. I mean why do you think we’re exhausted?”

She laughs. “Seriously, though, it’s been good?”

“Oh yeah,” I sneak a look at Jax who I know is listening to every word despite his prone position.

“Ugh, he’s there creeping on our convo isn’t he?”

“You know it.”

“Just like when were in high school. We should make him worry.”

“You’re so evil.”

“It’s why you love me so much isn’t it?”

“One of the many reasons why my love. How’s the honey moooon?” I sing the last part in a high pitch voice, and we both laugh. I can’t believe my best friend is a married woman.

“It’s a dream I don’t want to wake up from. The place we stayed in was right out of a Jane Austen book. I mean the hotel details, rich green velvet canopy over the four-poster bed, and a bathroom to die for. I mean the claw-footed bath tub had silver legs!”

“Holy crap, Hubby went all out.”

“Umm yeah, in more ways than one. The Kitty has been used and abused on a daily basis.”

“OI. I took care of it after every time.” Chibs’ Scottish brogue chimes in over the line.

“I was getting there, Daddy. I never said I didn’t enjoy it either,” She says in a coquettish tone that makes me laugh.

“He’s carried me to warm salt filled sweet scented baths nearly every day. How he expects me to return to everyday life after this, I do not know.”

“I’ll do it every day if you want,” Chibs says from the background.

“Um no I already have a hitch in my giddy up, thank you.”

“You guys are so damn adorable,” I say unable to keep from smiling.

“I want to know about you two! I wait my entire life for this shit to happen and it all goes down, and I leave. How fair is that?”

I picture her full lower lip poked out and her eyes wide.

“You know I’ll give you the play by play.”

“You’d better.”

“How’s his family?”

“Great, Hey I’m an Aunt now. Padric is my nephew.”

“Oh is he cute?”

She laughs. “He’s just five years younger, so I don’t know if that’s the word I’d use.”

“Hah, your son is only a couple years younger, so it’s clear you’ll have an unconventional family.”

“Ain’t that the truth? I love him. He reminds me of Chibs, and his sister is really cool too. She gave us a baby blanket!”

“Something you want to tell me there Journee?”

“Noo. Not that kind. This is a handmade quilt. It’s a family tradition. Family lore has it, you’ll conceive as long as you’re under the blanket.”

“Aahhh babe. That’s really sweet.”

“Right? I’m sorry to call you so late. I forgot about the time difference. I just realized I hadn’t talked to you in nearly four days and had a mini panic attack.”

“It’s okay we know you’ve been busy.”

“Yes, but the question is, have you?”

“Dirty girl.”

“So that’s a yes.”

“That’s a hell yes,” I say excited about the news I have to share. This feels better than anything I ever hoped for. Kick was a close second. I could’ve been content with him for the rest of my life, but Jax…Jax makes me happy in a way I never thought possible. I want to spill my guts to Journee right now, but I can’t.

“I’ll ask a question, and you say yes or no.”

“Okay.”

“Am I the only one still limping?”

I choke on my laughter. “Nu-uh.”

“Good, you wench. I was mortified at the second wedding until I saw you come hobbling along. You can’t leave me alone in this.”

“You’ll get used to it, I promise,” I assure her.

“Is it the best?”

“Oh yeah, for a bunch of different reasons.”

“I knew it!”

“Is this a fact check or a conversation Detective Telford?”

“Both.”

“At least you’re honest.”

“Shut up. You’re dying to give up the info. Stupid head is the one preventing our talk-a-thon.”

“It’s so true.”

“First thing when I come back?”

“You know it, babe.”

“I miss you,” she says.

I sigh. “I miss you too my friend.”

“Daddy’s looking impatient. I should go now.”

“I didn’t say a word.” Chibs adds.

“Wasn’t your mouth that was looking impatient.”

I laugh. “Okay, Mrs. Telford. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you more,” I say as we disconnect.

“Baby J sounds really fucking happy,” Jax says.

“I know, she deserves it.”

“They both do,” He agrees.

“Well since we’re up,” Jax says as he rolls me onto my back and sets the phone on the nightstand.

“You want to play twenty-one questions?” I tease.

He parts my legs with his knee.

“Yeah, I do. Starting with, how does this feel?” He sucks the skin on my neck into his mouth, and I moan.

“It’s okay.”

His chuckle vibrates against my skin, and he nudges my core with his knee. “How ‘bout this?” he asks as I roll my hips, seeking the friction.

“Warmer.”

He runs a hand down my body and parts my slick lips. He circles my entrance once, and I’m lost. I shudder as he eases two fingers in and starts a rhythm I can’t help but follow.

“Jax,” I whine, needing more.

“Ask me for it baby.”

“I need you inside me now.”

He drives home, and I gasp as he fills me to the brim. I dig my nails into his shoulder and raise my hips. I flex around him and whimper as he hits the right spot inside me. Our bodies come together as he bottoms out over and over, tapping that spot that has me shaking and breathless.

“Oh, Jax.”

“So damn right. Jesus, Lee.” He growls as he moves faster and faster. The bed post taps the wall, and my lungs threaten to give as I bounce between screams and moans.

“So good.” I’m chanting as my heart beats so fast I struggle to suck down enough oxygen and my entire body tenses as I crest the wave. He thrusts home once more, and I shatter, shaking as I cream on his thickness. He grunts and bites my shoulder as he fucks me through my orgasm before he releases inside me.

***

Journee

I’m sad to say goodbye to Padric and Greer. They grew on me quickly. With their quick tongues, teasing manner, and familiar features, it’s easy to feel as if I’ve known them for a lifetime. This was about more than a family reunion. My old man was making his peace with his past, and it was a beautiful thing. I swear years have lifted off him. He’s more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him be as we drive away from the quaint village.

“Did you have a good time love?” he asks.

“I did. I hope Kerrianne likes our presents.” Together we’d picked out a leather bound journal, and a pretty lace dress.

“I think she will. It’s the thought that counts. Being able to have a way to communicate with her is more than I ever dared hope for in me lifetime. All this time I worried she’d thought I’d forgotten about her.”

“I think she knows better than that, Filip. Fiona might be sleeping with the enemy, but Kerrianne is surrounded by those who love and know you. They’d tell her the way of things.”

“You don’t know the power Jimmy O has over people. He’d make a man turn against his own mother if it pleased him. All to avoid his wrath. The man is the devil incarnate. I’ve seen many things in my life, but ne’er was there a man so evil as this one.”

The words send a chill through my bones. He reaches across the car and takes my hand. “But you don’t have to worry about him, love. I’ll kill him with me bare hands before I let him breathe the same air as you.”

I lean over and kiss his cheek, humbled by his words. I’m used to fighting. The only girl surrounded by men I had to fight to be heard, fight to do what I want and fight to be seen as more than a pretty piece of ass and the fastest way to climb your way up the GB ladder. It’s why I never dated in-house. Being the princess puts a target on your back. I wanted to be loved for me, not what an association with me would bring them. Of course, that was only for those brave enough to stand up to my father which was few and far in-between. Menace is not a man to be fucked with.

He taught me how to bid my time, protect myself, and unleash the primal warrior inside of me. I often wondered if I was a disappointment. I don’t have the boisterous countenance of both my parents. I like to sit back and exam people. I loosen up after a bit, but I don’t trust easily or take to many right off the bat. That’s what happens when you see the worst people have to offer too much. My father is the equalizer. I know better than most the evil men can do, and how fast some can turn. It’s why Lee, Jax, and I are so close. Regardless of the petty fights and growing pains, we’ve always had one another’s backs. There’s power in that.

There were times when I felt like they were the only ones I could count on to remain. I dated, but it never panned out or failed to launch altogether. We grew up together, the four of us. I had the biggest crush on Opie. I mean how could I not? The gentle giant had a sweet streak in him, and he always protected me. When we kissed my freshman year, I swore I saw stars. We were on the cusp of something when his bitch of a mother made him leave. I knew he’d be back, so I waited, pined, and planned out life out in my head. Only, he returned with another name on his lips, Donna. The embarrassment and shame singed me as surely as a flame.

I went internal. Then Chibs showed up, and a mysterious man with healing scars, dark countenance, and accent. I have a way with healing. It’s not unusual for me to patch the brothers. Hell, in another life, I might’ve been a nurse. These are things I learned from my mother. Somewhere between tending him and crushing in my quiet way, we came to an understanding. He tolerated me, taught me things about cars, and I found a way to get over the perceived rejection from the man I once idolized. The man who pulled away from the close-knit group cultivated since we were kids.

Right now with my heart full and my future bright, I couldn’t be more grateful for the way things turned out. A few months earlier I wouldn’t have said that. I’d begun to wonder if perhaps there was something wrong with me. If maybe Kyle had been right. The funny thing about verbal abuse is, it ramps up. It never happens from the start. It creeps in like a fungus until it attaches itself to your psyche and begins to grow. Then it’s a part of you, and getting rid of it is a bitch. Because once you clear yourself off and it gets dark and cold again, it resurfaces, and the cleansing process begins all over again. It’s different with my husband. He makes me feel like I am enough.

We left early, so I know he has something else planned for the day.

“Is this the way we came?”

“No, we’re going back to a different location love. I would never forgive myself If I didn’t take you here before we went home.”

“Is it the reason why you chose my dress today?” I ask.

“Aye.”

He was almost bashful as he set out the lacey off white dress with a ruffled top, ruffled layers, and a slight train. I thought it was a bit fancy. Especially when he insisted I wear a floral crown headband around my hair, but he asks me for so little I complied with a smile and no questions. I pull the light weight heather gray shawl closer as the air begins to warm with the day and the sun. I’m excited to see where he’ll lead. He returns with our bags, a wide smile, and a bouquet of peach colored Gerber daisies and white flowers.

“Oh my God, they’re beautiful. You didn’t have to get me anything,” I say as my cheeks heat.

“Aye, I did. I aim to spoil you.” He hands them over with a sweet kiss, and I swear I fall even deeper in love with him. I place them in my lap, take a picture and send it to Lee with the text.

Just because flowers. I have the best husband in the world.

As we drive the countryside changes and begins to yield to a dazzling display of picturesque water surrounded by green land reflected in the waters like a mirror.

“That’s the Loch.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Aye. Wait to you see where we’re staying.”

We pull up to the white building nestled among the rolling green hills, and I swear I’m in a dream. This is the stuff of legends. I expect a unicorn to come prancing down to greet us any moment.

“Do you like it?” he asks quietly. “I know it’s a lot smaller than the last hotel. But it’s got so much character.”

“I love it. It’s perfect.”

He smiles, and the uncertainty is swept away. “We need to get checked in if we’re going to make our boat ride.”

I scramble out of the car, and he laughs. I suddenly understand why he wanted me to wear this dress. It fits perfectly with the landscape. I turn, taking it all in. The click of a shutter draws my attention.

“Pose for me, my bonnie lass. I want to remember you here forever.”

***

Lee

I frown. It’s too quiet. I’m not used to the lack of noise. Usually, if I’m not working, I’m at the clubhouse, out with Journee, or at least talking to her on the phone. It was a slow day at the office, and I’m all caught up on projects. I flick through the channels and settle on The Fast and The Furious. The sound of a bike in the driveway perks me up. Jax! I slip off the couch and hurry to the front door. I peer out and find myself surprised. Tig? This could be a good thing, or a bad thing depending on his mood. I’m always happy to see him, but those nights when he needs me to pull him back from the edge, sadden me. He suffers for what he does to keep the club safe, but most will never know it.

I open the door.

“Hey, Doll.”

“Hey Tiggy. What’s going on?”

“Needed some quiet, ya know?”

I nod my head. There are times when the boys want a break from it all. My house is always open to them for that reason. It’s why I don’t downsize to an apartment.

“Come on in. You have perfect timing. I was just thinking it was too quiet.”

“Yeah? You missing wifey?”

“Big time. You missing hubby?”

He laughs. “Yeah I do. It’s too quiet without that Scottish fucker around.” We head inside, and I plop on the couch. He lands beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. His warmth and scent are familiar, and I’m lulled into a relaxed state.

“So where’s pretty boy?” I shrug. “In his skin?”

“You ain’t worried at all?”

“No, I trust him.”

He grunts, scowling.

“Why don’t you say whatever you have on your mind Tiggy.”

“Just not sold on this one, baby doll. The boy gets around and breaks hearts. Hell, look at Wendy. She didn’t deserve what he did to her. All she ever did was love him. And I ain't one to be soft on broads. She has her problems, but she never did wrong by him.”

“I know. And I don’t approve of how that went down, but it’s got nothing to do with the two of us. Tell me you didn’t think this might happen one day.”

“A long time ago when you were younger, yes. Now…not so much.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want to see you hurt, or be put at odds with my brother. If he does wrong by you, there’s going to be problems.”

“He won’t.” As I say it, I realize I believe it wholeheartedly. “If I thought he would, we never would’ve happened.”

He sighs.

“People change. You know that.”

“Yeah. I’m watching him.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything different Papa bear,” I say as he chuckles. “Is that the only reason why you came over?”

“No. The brothers were getting on my nerves. Needed a break.”

“Then hang out here with me for a while and watch some TV.”

“What is this crap?” he asks.

“The Fast and the Furious?”

“Crappy rice burners? Really Doll? Thought you had better taste than that.”

“Shut up. I like this series.”

He rolls his eyes but settles in and goes quiet. It’s nice to get some quality time in with the man who I think of as my Pops.

We end up ordering pizza and cracking open the six pack in my fridge. After the torture of The Fast and the Furious, he makes me watch Harley Davidson and the Marlboro man for the millionth time. It’s endearing the way some things never change.

“I don’t know why you love that movie so much,” I say as I roll my eyes.

“Are you kidding me? It’s a classic.”

“Yeah, because they didn’t know any better.”

He holds his hands over his heart. “You’re wounding me here.”

Another bike pulls into the driveway.

“And that’s my cue.”

“What, you can’t be in the same room with us?”

“I’m not ready to watch the two of you suck face.” He shudders. “Thanks for the break.” He leans forward kisses my forehead and stands.

“Anytime, old man.”

He winks and heads to the door. I hear a muffled conversation with the voice I recognize as Jax, and a few minutes later he walks inside.

“Looks like I’m late to the party.”

“Nah just hanging out with my Pop.”

He nods his head. “Still weird to see Tig in a different light.”

“Yeah, well get used to it cause he’s always going to be around.”

“I hear you loud and clear.”

I relax. “Good.” It’s not secret the two of them have issues. He’s Clay’s boy through and through, and Jax represents the new change coming for the gavel. To say it caused friction is putting it lightly. I hope for my sake they can learn to play nice when I’m around at least. “I know there’s no love lost between the two of you, but he means a lot to me. He’s always been there when I needed him, and I want you to work on getting along.”

“That’s a lot to ask. We got a history of butting heads. Look I don’t think he’s a bad guy, we’re just after two completely different things when it comes to the club. Makes shit tense.”

“Maybe you should try harder to get him to see your side instead of baiting him. He’s smart. You show him why and it’s legit…He might surprise you by getting on board.”

“Naw, he’s blinded by Clay.”

“So make him see the light.” I insist.

He sighs. “Maybe. Enough about Tig. I came here to be with you.”

He wraps his arms around me and leans in for a sweet kiss.

I let the moment pass for now, but I’m nowhere near done working on him.

***

Journee

The night before we leave we’re in Galloway.

“I know you Chibs, what’s the reason for this being our last stop?”

He glances at the sky. “You’ll see soon enough. It’ll bring us back to the start.”

I tilt my head and ignore the temptation of checking my phone. “Come on, love. It’ll get a bit chilly tonight. We need to change into something warmer.”

Back at our room, I slip into comfortable black leggings, gray boot socks, with brown boots we bought here and a warm emerald green sweater I’d fallen in love with. As we make our way outside the hotel with a flask of something to warm us up I tilt my head back and gasp. The stars overhead are so close I swear I could touch them.

“Surprise.”

I turn to him and smile. “It did all start under the stars didn’t it?”

“Aye with a bold little minx who kissed me first to my shock and delight.”

I laugh. Only Chibs could pull off that word and be so damn rugged and sexy.

“Come on, the view from the observatory is like nowhere else in the world.” He slings two blankets over his shoulder, grabs a flashlight and offers me his arm.

I wrap my arms around his as we make our way from the hotel. It’s beautiful here, quiet, clean, and fresh in a way California could never be. I’d never been too far from my home, so this is mind-blowing. I inhale the cool air and soak up the experience.

“Do you know why the stars are so vivid love?”

“No.”

“Because Scotland enjoys some of the darkest skies in Europe. It gives them a background to really shine against.”

“Oh.”

We find a spot, and he puts down a blanket. We lay on our backs, and he covers us with the other one. I gaze up at the sky, enchanted by the diamond dotted velvet canvas. The beauty steals my breath. On the edges, I see what looks like a rainbow. Brilliant violet reds, and greenish yellows encompass the area. “Oh. Oh, my God. Is that what I think it is?” My voice trembles and my eyes fill with tears at the stunning display before us. The lights dance and glimmer, like fairies come out to play.

“Aye, the Northern lights. I was hoping she’d show herself to us tonight. If you took all those stars in the sky and added them into one blazing ball of light, it might come close to the way I feel about you.”

“Oh, Filip.” I turn toward him, and our lips meet. I taste forever on his tongue, an eternity in the shape and feel of his lips. I cup his face, tracing the memorizes planes and the scar tissue.

“Can I have you here, Lennan? With the stars as our witnesses?”

“I am yours anytime any place, my love.”

“You do things to me heart that should be illegal, little lass.”

We fumble with belts, buttons and tights until he’s buried inside me. Pinned by his weight and the tights and boots around my legs, I can only take everything he offers. My breath stutters in my lungs as I watch the sky move above me. The old magic of this land and the man from it inhabits me. I say a prayer to keep this man forever, and I swear I feel an answer in my bones. As I fall to pieces and he fills me to the brim, I know I’ve been granted my wish.

I urge you to watch this video, so you can get the full experience of this scene. https://www.visitscotland.com/see-do/landscapes-nature/dark-sky-parks-sites/#&gid=1videoitems&pid=1

#sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fanfiction #Jax Teller #chibs telford #Mo Astor

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