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couldyouimagine-that · 3 months

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Cuddles With Satan

Genre; Hurt/Comfort, Flufffff

Word Count; 1.2k

Warnings; None, just the reader being exhausted beyond belief and Lucifer convincing you to let him hold you while you go to sleep.

Pairings; Lucifer (Supernatural) x Reader

I know that soft!Lucifer isn't everyone's thing, but I haven't found enough fics like this so I am filling the gap myself! I guess he's inherently OOC for being soft, but I've written him as in character as possible if he decided to be affectionate towards the reader. (Also comment if you think I should do something similar with Casifer, I am very much considering it). Enjoy!

Here's part 2!

Masterlist

“I know you don’t really believe it yourself, but you are right.”

You had told Dean, Sam and Castiel that it was okay to leave you alone with the Devil. That if he wanted you dead, you would be.

“Besides, why would I kill you? That little moral dilemma that you’ve got going on is far more interesting than your corpse would be.”

That little moral dilemma was that you liked Lucifer. And he knew it.

You were incredibly tired. You didn’t feel well, you hadn’t been sleeping or even eating properly and you had convinced the others to go so that they could get a break from Lucifer’s antics. You knew that if someone hadn’t left, you would have ended up with a full-blown fight on your hands, and you didn’t want to have to deal with the fallout of one of your friends conveniently forgetting that they were nothing more than an insect to an archangel. You’d already had the job of patching up Sam and Dean when one of them got a little too self-righteous and a flick of Lucifer’s hand had sent them both flying. Castiel at least had slightly better control, but you’d had to hold him back from starting something in retaliation more than once. Not that pushing the angel back by his shoulders would actually do anything if he had a mind, but so far it had served as a good enough reminder to stop him from antagonising the Devil.

You turned around to face him, arms crossed over his chest and head resting in one hand, leaning against the edge of the table. Utterly relaxed and confident. He tilted his head just slightly as he watched you, a smile pulling at his lips.

“I need to go and get some rest before I pass out. Please, please don’t do anything while I’m gone.” He stayed quiet, enjoying the look you were giving him, pleading him to help you out. Until you dropped it, huffing a sigh and shaking your head. You were going to fall asleep regardless and you’d rather not be in the main room of the bunker when it happened. You made for the corridor at the back without another word, heading to what had become your room. Naturally, Lucifer followed.

“How about I come with you?” You said nothing, allowing yourself a silent sigh. “What? Two birds, one stone – that way you get to rest and you know where I am and what I’m doing.”

Not for the first time, you cursed yourself for having ever opened your mouth. A few weeks back, whilst sharing some beers with the boys and reminiscing on happier times, talk had turned briefly to partners. Sam and Dean had mentioned that in each of their longer-term relationships, their girlfriends had said they felt safer being held when they went to sleep. You had agreed, saying that you usually also slept better if someone was holding you. The conversation had moved on, that had been it. Apart from the fact that Lucifer had been hanging around somewhere and heard every word, and hadn’t left you alone about it since.

“Not today, Lucifer. Please.” You could hear the smile in his voice when he answered and you knew he’d heard the defeat in yours.

“Come on, Y/N, just this one time. What harm will it do?” He just kept walking behind you when you didn’t answer. “It’s not a one-way ticket downstairs, if that’s what you’re worried about. You’ve got far worse on your resume than ‘cuddled with Satan’.” You could feel your fight draining with every passing second.

“Why do you even care about this so much?” You asked at length, leaving the door to your room open out of habit since you were still having a conversation. By the time you considered that maybe slamming the door in his face would have ended the conversation, he had already walked inside.

“Curiosity. Angels don’t sleep, as you know, so I’ve never experienced holding someone until they drift off. I want to know what it feels like.”

You stared at him for a moment, uncomprehending. You knew your powers of reasoning weren’t operating at full capacity, but that sounded so… genuine. Gentle. Usually bad things when associated with Lucifer but you were running out of both reasons and time remaining before you collapsed where you stood.

“Come on.” His voice was so quiet, so soft, that you would never again wonder how he had convinced anyone to do anything. You just hoped you were right in thinking that there were worse things you could be agreeing to.

“I- alright. Fine.” You raised your hands briefly in surrender then collapsed onto one side of your bed, faced away from him.

You felt the mattress shift beneath his weight as he laid down behind you, felt his gaze on you as he lightly traced two fingers down your spine. You had to fight to hold back your sigh. His hand moved ever so gently along your side, up to your shoulder where he applied just a little bit of pressure to push you onto your back. His expression was soft, one arm beneath his head as his eyes tracked the path of his hand. He didn’t even have to lean to reach over you and your eyes shuttered when he slipped his hand beneath your back, pulling you over to him with no effort at all. You found yourself pressed against his side, head on his shoulder and with nowhere else for it to go, your arm resting on his chest.

His hand started a gentle passage up and down your back and you gave up on trying to hold back your contented sigh. Lucifer smiled genuinely at the sight. He rested his chin atop your head as he moved his flat palm to your lower back, again pushing gently to reposition you how he wanted. With sleep already winding its tendrils through your mind, you figured in for a penny, in for a pound. You received an appreciative squeeze when you crossed your leg over one of his, and another when you wrapped your arm around his torso, laying your hand against his ribs. You played with his soft shirt for a few moments, moving the material between your fingers, before tucking your face more firmly against his shoulder. Lucifer shifted slightly and you felt the scratch of the scruff on his chin against your forehead and a gentle pressure before he moved back again. Even mostly asleep, that woke you straight back up again.

A forehead kiss? That had nothing to do with wanting to know what it felt like to hold someone as they fell asleep. You looked up questioningly to find his expression caring – caring – and his gaze already trained on you. He would only offer a minute, one-shouldered shrug in response. Just felt like it, the movement said. I don’t really care. You simply chose to lay down again rather than start another conversation, and Lucifer’s chin returned to your head and his hand resumed its path across your back. You eventually let your train of thought go so that you could finally get some rest, but you couldn’t help but wonder what it was going to mean to have Lucifer’s affection.

#supernatural lucifer x reader #spn lucifer x reader #supernatural lucifer #spn lucifer #supernatural reader insert #spnfandom #spn fanfic #supernatural #spnfamily #lucifer #lucifer x reader

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the-goddess-of-mischief-writing · 2 years

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Possessive Lucifer {1}

Chapter Summary; You dress up to go on a hunt, something Lucifer isn’t to keen on. However, with a warning to anyone who dares touch you, he sends you off. That, and a little souvenir to remind you that you’re his.

Pairing: Lucifer x reader

Rating: Mature

CHAPTER NO/ONESHOT: 1/2

Word; 3.700

Warnings; nudity, suggestive themes

Author; @the-goddess-of-mischief-writing

A/N: So here’s the first of many drabbles for the SIN (Soulmates in nature) series. It was one of the first one’s I had planned and is a favourite troupe of mine for our beloved archangel.

MAIN MASTERLIST

It wasn't often you brought out your makeup. It wasn't often you needed to balance the few, yet essential, products on the edge of your sink to not slip down and break. Nor was it often you stared at yourself, hopeless of how you would be able to follow the tutorial playing on your phone.

"How can someone get good at this?" You mumbled as you attempted to follow the makeup artist's guide on 'how to succeed with your eyeshadow not appearing like a blob of diffused colours'. Their title a bit more eloquently put than your thoughts.

"I don't even understand why you humans think that makes you look more appealing". You dropped the small brush from your eyelid, shooting Lucifer a glare over your shoulder.

"If you could poof makeup like hers on my face, then I know you would change your mind", you huffed, using the makeup brush to point at the person creating a masterpiece on their face, one you tried to copy.

The devil cocked a brow at you from where he leaned against your dresser. "Who do you think I am?"

"I don't know. Genie?" You shrugged, turning around and examining the parts of your makeup that were better and the areas where it... wasn't. "Even though I wouldn't say no to his help, I don't think he would be as powerful as you".

"Flattery will take you nowhere when putting that paint on your face is far below what my powers can, or if I could, should be used for".

"I take back my statement. Genie is more powerful", you grumbled, reaching down to replay the part of the video you'd missed while speaking to Lucifer, not too thrilled you had to bite the lemon of doing your makeup yourself.

Hunting often didn't crave much of you, not much more than a potentially fucked up sleep schedule. You didn't count the gamble with your life. However, tonight was one of those few times you needed to dress up for a hunt.

Sam and Dean had found a case where people ended up dead with claw-like marks marring their chests, faces or any other places you could think of. According to official reports, a wolf was behind the attacks. And though many things about the physical encounter also pointed towards werewolves for you guys, after some investigation, you'd ruled out the lunar worshippers concerning the heart of each victim was intact. However, a particular part of the brain was always missing.

It had meant nothing to you when the doctors mentioned all victim's pituitary glands had been removed, other than a feeling it was more than an eerie coincidence. Although, to Sam and Dean, it had been the clue to solving what monster you were after. A kitsune.

You'd never run into a kitsune, heard of them from lores and stuff but never needed to hunt them. However, Sam told you that it wasn't weird concerning this particular fox-like creature was a rare occurrence. And yet, this Kitsune didn't hide in the shadow of the night. On the contrary, the incredibly normal-looking guy you were after was a successful businessman hosting a party to celebrate his newest project. Dean had joked that maybe the sicko eats brain as some kind of symbol for his own further success, as he'd said: 'Doubles the brain power, you know'.

Although thankful that you'd managed to get hold of tickets to the party, something you still don't understand how the brothers accomplished, you weren't all too excited about it. You barely owned more clothes than those suited for hunting and leisure, which meant you'd needed to go out in search of a formal dress.

You almost gave up, stole the Impala to flee back to the bunker, all while convincing Dean over the phone you would find something wearable in your closet, which you wouldn't have accomplished. But you didn't even come further than almost giving up, seeing how you didn't even succeed in persuading the older brother why you needed the keys to his baby. Instead, Dean hooked his arm in yours and dragged you along when he figured out your plan, stating that if he needed to suffer, then so would you.

In the end, it had been worth getting dragged along, seeing how you returned home with a dress you at least could admire for the rest of your life after tonight. Jewells decorated the bust, the stones fanning out the further down the eye journeyed until they gave away to fabric in a silky shade of sage, the material falling until it reached the floor.

Yes, it would be the prettiest thing you owned by a mile and for that reason, you hid it inside the cover you'd received when you bought it until the very moment you needed to put it on. In other words, you were scared to ruin it as you played with what you considered adult finger-paint.

"Can't get better now", you mumbled to yourself. The video had paused once it reached the end, so you cancelled the upcoming one in between attempts to touch up some parts of the makeup to get as close to perfect as possible. If someone would ask you, it didn't do much, but you could always hope a more experienced eye would say differently.

"Finally done?" You heard as you turned, finding Lucifer in not much of a different position than ten minutes ago.

"Nothing better to do than stand there and stare?" You shot back. Although he only shrugged in response, you doubted the archangel didn't have anything to say.

Lucifer's eyes flickered over your face, his head tilting as he, without a doubt, took in your dolled-up look. You couldn't fend off the twitch of your lip, which not long after curved your mouth into a smile, witnessing him so transfixed with you. And upon noticing your reaction, the devil's eyes swiftly found yours.

"Eating up your words yet?" You teased him with a chuckle.

"Still think it's unnecessary", Lucifer replied, seemingly unbothered, though the way he said it a bit too curtly spoke against it.

"Very well, if you've stayed for this long, there's no reason I should shoo you out when you can help me into the dress", you said as you walked over to your open door, which was the single place you had been able to hang up your dress, and hooked of the sealed package.

"Have you missed the wings, or do you just decide to ignore them?" You glanced over your shoulder as you closed the door, finding Lucifer pointing to the iridescent entities resting beside him.

"They're still very much there", you began as you wandered over to your bed, putting down the garment bag and sipping it open. "But I don't think you'll say no to seeing me naked, so something you have to pay for doing it", you continued, wiping your hands on your robe just to make sure no makeup resided on them before pulling out your dress.

"Pay to do it, you say?" Your gaze rose when Lucifer's voice sounded closer. He moved up alongside you, hands finding your hips as he stopped.

"Perhaps not, but you can spare a few favours for your mate, I believe". You looked up at the archangel as he brought you closer to him.

"That so?" Lucifer cocked a brow. "What would I get in return?"

"Well...", you pulled the word out. "Seeing me naked?"

He tipped his head back and forth as if truly contemplating your offer before his lips quirked. "Sounds fair".

"You better think that", you scoffed, taking a step away to pull at the belt of your robe and letting it fall to the ground. A low whistle was heard, and though you felt a heat enter your chest as Lucifer shamelessly let his eyes roam your body, only covered by your skimpiest pair of panties, you shot him a look.

"No bra, how dirty", he commented, gaze lifting to meet your unimpressed glare. "Could practically skip these as well". The devil reached forth, hooking his finger in the black strap curving over your hip and making it snap lightly across your skin as he let go.

Shooing away his hand, you bent forwards and plucked your dress out of its cover. "I said you can look, not touch". As you saw one of his hands stretching forwards again in the corner of your eye, you took a step to the side and held your dress in front of you, angling your body toward him.

"And, I want to be at least a bit comfortable as I wear this". You jostled the piece covering your front before continuing. "Neither do I want any ugly creases, so have it".

"I'm not complaining", he smirked, to which you rolled your eyes.

"Of course you aren't".

Your eyes widened, a gasp escaping you when Lucifer's hands shot out, anchoring on your lower back and pulling you against him. No matter that your dress was kept in place by how closely your bodies pressed together, your fingers curled further into the fabric.

"Someone's becoming bold". The devil cocked his head, gazing down at you.

You swallowed at his tone, feeling the earlier heat spread and conquering his radiating chill, which seeped so softly through the fabric of your dress. Despite the flush sensation, you raised your chin when his words echoed in your mind. "And what if I am?"

"Dangerous thing for the naked one to be".

"Dangerous? I hardly think that".

"Perhaps not dangerous", he hummed, eyes falling from watching yours to the heave of your chest. "But... pushing your luck".

You arched a brow, head shifting to the side. "And what happens if I continue to push?"

"What do you think happens to a vixen who plays with fire?" Lucifer's hands travelled down your back, beneath the sharp black line of your panties, until they caught by his wrists, naturally stopping his movements.

Your mouth opened, but rather than words leaving your tongue, a sharp breath wheezed past your teeth, only to escape your lungs a second later when the devil groped your ass, his strong hands bringing you to your toes as he forced you further up his chest.

He gazed down at you, head tilting as his blue eyes darkened. "What I wouldn't do to see you so prettily ruined right now".

Your mouth ran dry, a warm shiver sweeping over your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. "I should be thankful that your ever-so-good moral keeps you from doing it then". A low sound escaped Lucifer as you said this.

"I should be recognised as a Saint for it", his voice had dropped and you couldn't help but mumble your reply thanks to this.

"Mhm, so will the to-be-crowned Saint help his mate with what he promised?".

"I remember no promise".

"Lucifer", you sighed. Even if he cheekily groped your ass one more time, he flashed you a smile, releasing you and stepping away so you could unzip the dress.

The devil followed your every move. His eyes burning seemingly all over your skin at once as you slipped into the dress. The material was cool as you pulled it up your body, the rhinestones pressing against your palm as you held the garment against your chest, preventing it from falling,

When you turn around, the zipper sways with the fabric and taps against your skin. You wait for Lucifer to help you secure the dress, but when you don't feel him step closer and the chilled zipper continues to rest against your lower back, you glance over your shoulder.

You find his eyes gliding over you, not hurrying to meet your gaze. It's a slow sweeping motion up your back, the curve of your shoulder, until his blue eyes finally settle on yours. You arch a brow, but Lucifer only shrugs at you before he steps closer. Deciding to not argue or tease him about the bloom of something you feel through the bond, the one he admittedly tries to downplay, you look forward.

A light touch at your lower back and you know he's found the zipper. When the knuckle of his finger slides along your skin right before the tightening of the fabric, you know he's relieving you of the task of keeping up your dress at the front. You know he's closed the entire thing when Lucifer's other hand raises to fasten the hook at the top to keep the pin in place.

There's a slight pause before you sense how he leans closer, not long after, how his lips find the easy excisable skin at your shoulder. You don't let him press more than two pecks along the curve of your neck, knowing where he would end up if you allowed him to continue on his path.

Taking a step forwards and out of his reach, you turn on your heel, almost catching on the dress' trail. "I don't want you ruining any of this before I even leave for the hunt". As you said this, something in Lucifer's demeanour changed. A dark bolt of lightning struck in his eyes as his lips pursed into a thin line.

"You're going out like that". It wasn't a question, more so a statement as the devil remembered you didn't only dress up like this for fun, or him.

"Lucifer-", you began, but before you could finish the sentence, one of his hands slipped into the slit parting over your left leg to possessively grip the backside of your thigh, the other engulfing your neck to keep your wide eyes pinned on him.

"If anyone looks at your wrong, if anyone touches you, if they dare even think about you, they're dead". Lucifer's voice was chillingly cold and yet something lit on fire in your lower stomach as the words dripped like venom from his tongue.

"Okay", you breathed, taken off-guard by his sudden display. The devil noticed -not because you made any effort to hide it- cocking his head with a smirk curling his lips.

"No rebuttal?"

"If I would've, it would jeopardise my makeup and concerning how my hair already is living close to the edge of surviving, I can't risk it". There was still the ghost of a smile adorning Lucifer's lips as he watched you.

He leant down then and you tried to move away, but he simply held you in place by your neck. The hand grasping your thigh found its way out from the fabric, sneaking upwards over your waist, then ribcage.

You wanted to struggle and complain about the hand burying itself further into your hair, but as if the archangel could read your thoughts, he spoke before you could voice your concerns.

"They're only gonna see if you move", he mumbled against your lips before his head dipped down.

He trailed kisses from your throat and downwards, light ones starting where your makeup didn't reach and you felt more of his stubble than the pillow of his lips. As if it already wasn't hard being still for the sake of your appearance, it became even harder to not squirm upon what he did next.

Lodging his thumb beneath the bend of your jaw, Lucifer tilted your head backwards. His head dipped to the edge of your dress to counter the movement of your head while his hand trailed upwards and over your breast, tugging slightly at the fabric covering it. As soon as the bejewelled part separated from your skin, his lips found the newly exposed part of you.

Your hand shot to the back of his head, curling into his blonde locks when he let his teeth graze you before his lips attached and he sucked at the supple skin.

A breathy sound passed your lips and though you knew you should tug at his hair until he relented with his action, you didn't have enough strength to do it. And so, you simply let him work the bruise into your skin.

It didn't take long before the telltale sting where his mouth rested upon you reached the surface and the whimper escaping you was Lucifer's sign he'd succeeded with what he wished and eased up not soon after. A kiss to the spot he'd concentrated on, his finger unhooking from your dress to let it drop back, a nudge to the back of your head and you gazed upon a smug-looking Lucifer again.

"See, no harm done". Your eyelids dropped close and you let out a heavy sigh at the devil's comment.

You shook your head, feeling the amused jostle of his body. "Depends on what you're talking about". You opened your eyes once more, the creases in the corner of his eyes more accentuated as his grin broadened.

"The pretty paint on your face, of course".

"You really live up to your name sometimes". You stepped out of his arms without any resistance this time.

"Was given it for a reason". You caught the smugness coating each word as you glanced down, finding that the hickey Lucifer created was just about covered by your dress.

"Thanks for that. I practically won't be able to move without someone seeing this", you concluded, eyes darting to the devil.

"As I said, don't move and they won't see it", he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Menace", you grumbled, not caring about continuing the argument -and how that definitely wasn't what he'd meant for the phrase to imply earlier- knowing very well that Sam and Dean soon would be knocking at your door if you didn't hurry up.

Moving to your bed, you sat down to step into the flats you would wear to and from the venue, snatching the heels you would torture yourself with in-between as you stood.

When you headed to the door, you caught yourself in the mirror above your sink. Stopping in the middle of a step, you turned to look at your reflection.

Even though it could've been worse, you brush your fingers through your hair to smoothen down those stray strands that Lucifer was the culprit of sweeping out of place. And, just as you thought about him, your eyes flittered to watch him walk closer in the mirror.

Hastily turning around, you faced him as you pointed at him to stop. "Oh, don't you dare". The archangel raised his brows.

"No goodbye kiss?"

Albeit feeling a tingle in your lips upon his suggestion, you scoffed, not falling for his attempt at making you look as tousled as you felt. "I think you've done enough kissing". You replied, moving towards the door and heading out of your room with Lucifer in tow.

The second you walk into the library, you find Sam and Dean dressed in black smokings. Albeit the younger one lounged in one of the chairs, seemingly unbothered by the not so often seen attire on either of them, the older of the two was pacing, repeatedly tugging at his collar.

"You two clean up well", you called out just as Sam turned to you, a gentle smile spreading as his eyes scanned your appearance.

"Thank you, though I think you'll be the one convincing people we belong at that party".

"Thought your brother was the charmer", you reply.

"And I thought I signed up for being a hunter, not an undercover spy dressing up all cute". You couldn't help but snort at that, shaking your head with a smile. "The sooner we get going, the sooner I'll be out of this", Dean continued, not waiting for either your or his brother's confirmation that you were ready before heading towards the stairs with long strides.

"I take that as our cue". Sam stands from the chair, making an over-exaggerated bow and a sweeping moment with his arm, showing you should take the lead, a 'my lady', following his move.

Not even before your lips could twitch into a smile at the display, a voice sounded from behind you.

"Careful, Sammy, don't want your outing to end before it even begins". Your eyes meet Sam's as he rises to his full height before both of you turn to watch the archangel standing behind you.

Lucifer's arms were crossed over his chest, face fixed into something that could be mistaken for a relaxed look, even if it so evidently wasn't. There was an underlying tension in his body, irritation flaring in his eyes and you saw how he worked his jaws as his gaze was set on the hunter behind you.

You switched to look to Sam when you saw him shift in the edge of your vision. Now his hands were raised, head tipping slightly.

"Duly noted". Compared to the younger Winchester's reply, you only rolled your eyes. If Lucifer was moody enough to snap at Sam about something like this -something he practically never was concerned about- you don't know if you looked forward to leaving him to cool down or feared he only would mull over it until you returned.

Turning on your heel, you move towards the devil, settling on the middle ground to your earlier train of thought.

As you near, Lucifer's eyes finally settle on you, eyebrows raising when you stop before him. Without any further ado, you lean up, planting a kiss on his cheek. At your back, you can practically feel how Sam does anything but look at you and Lucifer, still not entirely -even that was a stretch- comfortable with either of you well... living up to being soulmates.

"Didn't think you wanted to say goodbye", the devil retorted, arms remaining overlapped in front of him. Stubborn. You roll your eyes, knowing very well that if Sam wasn't present, they would've fallen to his or your side.

"Neither did I, just attempting to calm you". Lucifer cocks a brow, forcing you to give him a look when you see an argument arise, even if he hasn't worded it yet. "Don't deny it".

"Not denying anything", he countered curtly, leaning down so your shared breaths. "But I don't discriminate when it comes to carrying out my warnings".

"Aside from me". You pecked the archangel's lips, not fully catching the edge of his words, only trying to distract him from his own attitude with the brush of your lips. "Be good". While he stands tall again, he briefly closes his eyes and raises his brows, which you deem enough of an answer to turn around and save Sam from the awkwardness of examining the roof and finally head after Dean. Brushing past the heat -and not the entirely pleasant kind- rippling through your bond.

Taglist: PS, I tagged the same people as in the original series, if any of you don't want to get tagged in the updates for this series (drabbles, one-shots etc) just give me a heads up!

@the-fiery-ghost @ambivertedcroissant @xthefuckerysquaredx@americancowgirl19 @wayward-winsister @itsmeempar @alizayalove @aliceblxck @canyouimaginethatstory@musiclovinchic93 @eyghim18 @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog@emiliasaffron @batavrahamvsara @fanfic-love-show@imagine-inc @randomheart551 @jana-jaeynneee @ay0nha @brooklynchrr420@shippinglover @bun-dpdbny @tardis-world@blonde-in-charge @jokersqueenofchaos @baybeekenzie1@fandomgeekforever @perilous-blue @mistress-sassafrass @book-of-anarchy @nerdettezebracorn333 @herlovetragedy @coolbean121@bagsy-not-it @abbyss @taikawho @sagyunaro @dementedsnowfox @kcam1621 @acaotch @crispycooter @browneyedgirl22 @misstress-sassafrass @bun-dpdbny @imagine-inc @enby-thesbian @stradlingmrstradlin @violetlilites @luciferslittledevil666 @butterflykiisies @antisocial-thing @destinationdesignation @big-bad-batsy @yournightmare-1987 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @brujaporfavor @galaxypox @whitetigerlover17 @loki-is-loved @leeannlips-blog @here4thespice

#lucifer supernatural #lucifer x reader #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader spn #lucifer spn #lucifer fanfiction #lucifer drabble #spn fanfiction #SPN #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #fanfic #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #lucifer x reader soulmate #lucifer soulmate!au #lucifer x soulmate!reader #lucifer x reader soulmate!au

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mlobsters · 6 months

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supernatural s11e11 into the mystic (w. robbie thompson)

giving credit where it's due, i think the show has been doing a good job picking licensed work, especially when not stuck to a particular genre. enjoyed here will you love me tomorrow by the shirelles

okay that monster is uh. something. don't eat the baby!! poor sweet thing.

LUCIFER When your brother was trapped in Purgatory you were here with a girl and a dog. You can't win this, Sam. You're just not strong enough. You didn't even bother trying to find him. And I know that if you're gonna beat the Darkness, you have to be ready to watch the people you love die.

i'd say don't let lucifer get to you, sam - but hell. i spiral over the smallest of social interactions, let alone the big evil angel who knows all my weak spots and is pushing the sorest ones for maximum manipulation. also where is the light coming from in his room with the pattern, he doesn't have a window? is it a weird lampshade? nightlight? scented plugin nightlight?? 🤪

everything's fine! been up who knows how long cleaning my gun, per yoozh

DEAN You okay? SAM Yeah, I'm fine. DEAN Are you sure? 'Cause you haven't left the bunker in days. SAM I'm fine.

I'M ACES, DEAN.

cas will be fine! which brings about the question, what's crowley doing in all this? i know he declared the team-up over, but no heads up about lucifer being out? is he incapacitated in some way?

(kinda wishing we had pellegrino to still be lucifer but i get it)

DEAN Maybe we ought to make a reservation. SAM Yeah, we should be so lucky to live long enough.

did know about this. don't be sad, don't be sad.

SAM Turns out Harold was stealing the other residents' Viagra. DEAN I know. A real dick move, huh?

cmon sammy, not even a chuckle? that was a good (bad) one :P

dean pocketing some viagra, all right.

(wiki) According to a tweet by writer Robbie Thompson, Dean stealing the Viagra was unscripted, and was ad-libbed by Jensen Ackles.

gosh that's pretty. what a lovely profile shot of sam

DEAN So no retirement, huh? SAM Hey, you're the one who's always wanted to go out blaze of glory style preferably while the Bon Jovi song is playing. DEAN I'm a candle in the wind. Yeah, but the way you said it, it was like that blaze of glory was gonna happen sooner rather than later.

lip service to the blaze of glory when it looks like all is lost but of course he wants to grow old together.

DEAN Are you okay? SAM No, I'm not, actually. Not at all. Being so close to Lucifer again, that... Brought stuff up. Stuff I thought I forgot about. DEAN You want to talk about it? SAM No. DEAN Well, look. Lucifer is never getting out of that cage, ever. And you are never going back, period. So... Case closed.

💔on all accounts

SAM Let's burn the bones so we can go home.

at least the bunker's home now

DEAN Gold blade. I don't have any in the trunk, so I got to head back to the bunker and grab a couple. You stay here and figure out who in this place is vulnerable.

someone vulnerable, like say, sam??

all this banshee talk makes me miss lydia from teen wolf. def the good kind of banshee though, no brain munching to be found

after hours of staring at 1968-1970 ford galaxies i see how similar they are to the impala lol

blarrgh dean is gonna unload his amara secrets to lucifer!cas, fucking great. always anyone but sam

DUDE. how had i never stumbled into this?? so i'm looking up mildred's actress dee wallace, and she was the mom in E.T.!! but!!! the little boy, elliott! is the dude in all the flanagan stuff - young hugh crain in hill house, henry in bly manor. mind blown LOL. that movie devastated me as a child and i haven't watched it since haha (which reminds me i was talking to my very sensitive 10 year old about charlotte's web and i was like, wasn't it sad? and he's like. eh. me: really? not sad?? him: ehh. LOL okay! i'm glad for you, little dude, didn't end up with that particular flavor of my sensitivity too)

anyway!

s11e11 mildred / e.t. (1982) dee wallace as mary

MILDRED I knew it. I knew it! I -- you two are too cute to be FBI agents.

i mean...

i was a little nervous what they were gonna do with marlene/eileen, having a deaf actress and character be a hunter is cool. assuming she doesn't die :S also she could teach them whatever fancy sigil situation she used to trap sam. ooh and a men of letters legacy, too. please don't kill her.

DEAN I tried to kill her. LUCIFER/CAS Well, the two of you are connected somehow by the Mark. DEAN Yeah, no, it's, uh... It's more than that. LUCIFER/CAS Attraction? Oh, Dean. DEAN I know. I know. Okay? Whatever it is... attraction, connection... I got to tell you, man, it scares me. I don't know that I can stop it. I don't know that I can resist it.

christ on a cracker. i hate everything about this. i got some time off from being enraged over him IMMEDIATELY lying to sam after all this we gotta be straight with each other yet again, but hey it's back. and now divulging to lucifer inadvertently, so much hate it.

[Mildred signs to Eileen ‘I got dibs on the other guy. You can have the tall one’] [Mildred giggles as she signs ‘I’m not much of a mountain climber anymore’ and laughs] [Eileen signs [‘Are you sure you don’t want both?’]

that was so cute and funny. thirsting over the boys in plain sight, and eileen like girl, shoot your shot, try for both of them! mildred is gorgeous, i think dean might be down

SAM Are you worried about her? So does this mean she has a shot? DEAN Well, I always did have a thing for Blanche on “Golden Girls” SAM Seriously? DEAN Hey, don't judge what you don't understand, Sammy. SAM No, I'm -- I'm not judging. I-I just always had a thing for Sophia. DEAN Yeah, I could see that.

sophia, huh. i mean, okay. can you imagine though, 6'4" sam and 4'10" estelle getty. talk about mountain climbing. and of course dean liked blanche, no brainer. and rue mclanahan was all of 51 when the show started

well, he went all-in on the crazy smile (sorry, pellegrino would never 😔)

EILEEN My mother was a lawyer. Be nice to follow in her footsteps. SAM I was studying law at Stanford when my brother came and got me so we could get our revenge. EILEEN You've been hunting together ever since? SAM Yeah. I-I wouldn't do this without my brother. He's had my back every step of the way. Even when I let him down.

oh, sammy 💔 show's convinced you that you fucked up more than i think you have (pushing the purgatory thing and i'm still not convinced :p) meanwhile we get to highlight how dean's fucking up right this moment.

well damn. they've done a great job establishing some little side characters i actually care about. thinkin if something happens to eileen or mildred 🔪🔪🔪

MILDRED You know, tell me something. When's the last time you watched a sunset without waiting for something to go bump in the night?

they (supposedly) would park and look at the stars sometimes, maybe they should add sunsets to the list

MILDRED You want to know the secret to living a long and happy life? DEAN Actually, yes, I do. MILDRED Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out.

and since i like her character and how she's playing her, this little sappy advice made me cry. also, i love how she's openly flirting with dean and he's flustered but not in the ew gross old lady is hitting on me way

great, and dean's the vulnerable one? i mean honestly, they're both emotionally vulnerable disasters all the time so.

MILDRED Darlin'... if there's one thing I've learned in all my years on the road, it's when somebody's pining for somebody else. Oh, don't try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

i mean. is he pining for amara? is that what we're going with? this obviously has the ambiguity that you could slap it on to whatever ship of choice as well. follow your heart to sam instead of your dick to amara? :p this nebulous connection to her is... nebulous. halfway tempted to just fucking look up how this plays out, but then i'm just waiting for things to happen (which is why i don't do well with big spoilers) so i probably won't. it has to be dire to do that (and i have with this show in the past, just to know how many episodes of whatever plotline were in my future)

DEAN He was looking for lore on the Darkness. Something a little off about him, too. SAM Something always seems a little bit off about Cas. Yeah, you know, being so close to Lucifer probably wasn't easy for him, either.

i'd say some of that's on the inconsistent writing/characterization of cas, but potayto potahto :p brushing off dean's concern to aid in finding out about lucifer at the worst time, i can imagine

SAM Dean... when I was with Lucifer, he, um... He showed me things. It was like a highlight reel of my biggest failures. DEAN Yeah, he was messing with you. That's what he does. SAM Give me a sec. I should've looked for you. When you were in Purgatory, I... I should've turned over every stone. But I didn't. I stopped. And I've never forgiven myself for it. DEAN Well... I have. Hey. That's in the past, man. What's done is done. All that matters now, all that's ever mattered, is that we're together.

oh 😭

oh god and sam's box with actual baby dean and sam in addition to the retirement home brochure?? now i'm really crying. good god. i knew about the brochure, but not the picture as actual kids

at least dean got into sleep clothes and under the covers this time.

go talk to sam, you stubborn ass.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 11x11 #hiky #spnhiky #dee wallace #e.t.#robbie thompson #spn bloody or sad #christopher lennertz #sam and dean mush #all that's ever mattered is that we're together

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crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell · 1 year

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I fixed Dean's entry for Castiel in the MoL Bestiary

First purple: Like a child

I don't like an autism coded trait like seeing things literally being see as a child like trait. Because when Cas is seen like a child that means he gets less respect and faith in his ability

Second purple: Betrayed us

Bitch? Tf? When? He did nothing you didn't or wouldn't do yourself

Third purple: Left us

How dare Cas have the audacity to have a life outside of you and Sam I guess 🙄

Fourth purple: We will always have his back

Are you sure about that? Because it sure af didn't look that way in season 6. Sure it didn't work out, but you didn't side with Cas NOT because you can see the future and had a vision that it wouldn't work out. It's because you didn't like Cas working with Crowley

Hands up if Cas should get to write his own entry about Dean in the bestiary? But it has as much criticism in it as Dean's does if not more so?

I mean Bestiary is about animals both Supernatural and not Supernatural. Humans are animals

Are angels animals?

a living organism that feeds on organic matter, typically having specialized sense organs and nervous system and able to respond rapidly to stimuli.

Cas doesn't need to eat under ordinary circumstances so he's not an animal. But since his entry was written anyway then Dean and Sam really should be added as entries as well

Should be called "Supernatural beings" rather than bestiary

No no no make new vessel Crowley write Sam and Dean's entries. That would be amazing! Would have "morons" and "self-righteous" everywhere

Feathers wrote the previous entry about Squirrel and Moose. I've crossed out every Sam, Dean, my family and my brother/s and written "Moose" "Squirrel" and "moron" above that instead

I have to work quick though, before Feathers catches me editing his entry

Okay this is my entry

SQUIRREL AND MOOSE

Squirrel is a moody alcoholic and Moose has temper issues. They both come up with good ideas and have even outsmarted me but then when they open their mouth it's so moronic I wonder if God helped them? They've both caused so much collateral damage, and pain. But they think it's fine because they save one person every now and then. Anyway despite all that they are great big bloody heroes and unfortunately are a bad influence on me ...

I wish they wouldn't look down on Feathers when he loses his powers

Feelings >_<

This is my entry for Cas

FEATHERS

Cas is very powerful, very capable and very intelligent. Too many people, especially Squirrel underestimate him or look down on him. Even without powers he would be able to kick the candy out of most of his enemies

Feathers has been my partner in mischief! My enemy in arms! My hunter buddy! My crush! My kitten metaphorically speakinv

He is so magnificent I chose him over my revenge on Lucifer and I don't regret that decision

Feathers never gets boring unlike Squirrel. After six months with Demon Squirrel in a bar I wanted to tear off my own face

Right sorry this entry is about Feathers not my feelings! I got a bit carried away there. It was Feather's idea to fake my death and Feathers did a really good job lying to Moose and Squirrel. I was very proud that he had them fooled for two years!

He came up with so many good strategic ideas for getting monsters and he is amazing at torture! Better than me even. Which I may be a smidgen jealous about. I did teach him but he surpassed me

I also like ruffling his feathers because it's sexy when he slams me up against a wall

He did betray me but can you imagine if there were Leviathans running around in Hell? *Shudders* so it all worked out for the best. Beside he did apologize and he's too fun not to work with

I decided to forgive him and team up with him again because a life without Feathers is a boring one. Even Feathers as an enemy is better than no Feathers at all

Feathers has or used to have these powers

Entering human dreams. Okay so one day I was bored and I decided to give this human nightmares and Cas gave me the stare and turned my nightmare into a happy dream

So we were both trying to win the dream battle and well Cas won. Look he's an angel okay! He's meant to be stronger

Smiting demons

Telekinesis. Did you know he uses telekinesis just before a smite to stop a demon from teleporting away before the smite happens? Most demons can't teleport but on the off chance they can

He only bothers doing that if he means to kill the demon in a "hit list" sense rather than a "you're in my way" sense. I felt him holding onto me when I teamed up with Raphael but I wasn't worried because I had Raphael's protection

Teleportation. Okay so we would play this game where we had to teleport behind each other and tag each other. What you think spending two years together and it was nothing but business?

Time travel. I've been tempted to ask to be sent back in time myself but I've noticed how weak it makes him and I didn't want Cas to die but at the time I lied to myself and said it's because I didn't want my partner being too weak otherwise he's useless to me

His powers go above and beyond that so this will have to be continued at another date maybe

I've also enchanted my entry so none of those lot will be able to edit it or rip the page from the book

*A few hours later*

Crowley hears Dean yell "Crowley! What the hell is this? You son of a bitch!" as he points at his entry

Crowley smoothly responds "well that's an entry for you and Moose"

#castiel #dean critical #you know I was hoping this entry would be idk???#good? respectful?#but too much to ask for #supernatural #bitter cas girl feelings #Crowley spn #Crowstiel #sam critical #winchesters critical #I believe Crowley would write good stuff about Sam and Dean as well if we're being honest #But since this was me having fun I didnt want to dedicate my time to praising what #the boys are good at

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superwholockednico · 2 years

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Season 7 is currently Samgirl-ifying me. (And why Sam believing he's inherently a 'freak' is so tragic.)

Idk what it is about this show that makes me keep switching which brother I like more/find more tolerable/think is morally superior. (Actually, I think the answer is that it switches between which character/character's storyline is the focus. At the start of the show, it felt like it was often Sam's pov plus he wasn't fully in the hunter life and hence acted nicer/kinder which made me agree with him more morally despite simultaneously simping for dean. Then again with the demon's blood arch, I was like sam is being mistreated why is dean acting like he's so inherently evil. Now with the lucifer in sam/fall out of that situation I'm once again like, Sam is in the right and I feel really bad that he keeps getting treated like he's inherently messed up to the point he's internalized it. Plus he gets shit for really normal healthy things like going for fricking run)

Long post so summary: I find Sam's recurring theme of being seen as inherently different or a freak (compared to Dean feeling like he won't fit in or can't live a normal life because of his lifestyle or choices) to be compelling. First, we see it in the demon blood arch where his own father tells his brother that he might have to kill him because he's born wrong and has an evil within him. Now it comes back with his Lucifer-induced mental breakdown/psychosis and how Dean constantly treats him like he's doomed because of it and isn't willing to believe he can change ('the other shoe always drops').

Because of this, he has a really interesting episode [The Girl Next Door] with the Kitsune girl from his childhood (Amy Pond. nice name choice) where it focuses on his feelings of being a "freak" and outsider and how that leads him to be compassionate towards her. Which uh... ends up not working since dean goddamn goes and kills her in front of her son afterward in a move that was totally fucked up and should have ended up with him at the very least admitting he was wrong for it.

I'm on s7e9 now, but from that moment on, Sam's stayed the more emotionally mature one (let's be real, he usually is tbh), from trying to initiate much-needed conversations between him and Dean (multiple times!) to making a pretty good lawyer for Dean and trying to convince him to not feel guilty.

(he also takes care of his health –eats healthier, goes on runs goes camping– which I find very likeable tbh)

I started feeling for him because of the Lucifer situation, which was probably the most horrifying/scary thing I've seen on the show yet from a psychological standpoint. The idea that you don't know if literally anything around you is real or if it's your torturer (or abuser if we/I project it on a real-world situation) tricking you into thinking it's real just to tear it apart is... really scary.

(also ignore sam sorta looking like hes smiling in the pic the screenshot ended up like that but could be bothered to retake cus most of it was blurry)

Side note: I also really felt for Dean in the scene where he came back to Bobby's house to find it burnt down. Like the feeling of hopelessness resonated with a past me. (Dean's feelings of being unfixable or unredeemable definitely contribute to me wanting to see him become a better person and become happy. but hey I know the show's ending so 🙃)

Back to the Kitsune episode. (wrote a lot up there so pics)

What's so sad about the scene with Dean and him there is:

He really isn't a freak. Anyone would be messed up if they were stuck in a cage in the worst part of hell with two extremely powerful angels, one of which is Lucifer. None of that is his fault, and if anything, he's handling it really well. He's still trying to save people despite everything, what else could you expect of someone.

After Sam compares himself to Amy, after he tells him he's managing so so is may... Dean goes and kills Amy. After Sam tells him, I'm just like her... Dean kills her. THAT'S LIKE DEAN TELLING HIM HE CAN'T CHANGE. THAT'S LIKE DEAN IS SAYING I DON'T BELIEVE A FREAK CAN EVER BE ANYTHING ELSE. Right after telling Sam he didn't believe he could have actually gotten better earlier that episode.

Sam always believes he's inherently messed up because his family's conditioned him to believe that because they've kept treating him like a ticking bomb instead of a human who is going through stuff and who needs support.

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girlsvmonsters · 8 months

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Living in a Haze (Explicit)

Supernatural x Lucifer cross-over

Omega Dean/Alpha Cas

—

Episode 1: Hell is no pie (4K words)

Zombie brains have a very peculiar texture that is an absolute nightmare to clean. They also smell like something that has died, reanimated, baked in the sun, and then died again. But of course, that makes perfect sense in a world that lost all sense long ago. Dean is absolutely covered in the stuff, and with the realization that he is wearing his favorite Led Zeppelin shirt, he curses loudly like a crass old man, kicking the zombie on the ground.

It was a failed experiment; only half of the thing's head had blown off. Explosives are so unreliable, but Dean knows this from the hundreds of other attempts he's tried over the years. He just couldn't seem to help himself when he came across the pack of fireworks deep down in the bowels of the bunker.

"Dude," a ghost that looks like his deceased brother says as he joins him to look down at the corpse. "I could have told you that was going to happen.”

Dean doesn't bother to reply; he merely huffs and starts his march back to the bunker.

The thing about being a ghost is that you can just appear wherever you want. Dead Sam is already waiting when Dean approaches the standalone, art-deco styled building, aka the bunker. Dean can tell that his very dead brother is about to make another pointed remark about his obvious failure, but he doesn't give him the chance as he walks right through him to unlatch the steel door. "Hey!”

All Dean can think about is ripping off all of his clothes, dousing them in gasoline, and setting them on fire. Afterward, he mentally tells himself he will take a nice, long bath while eating some cherry pie.

Dean is poorly singing "Highway to Hell" as he dances his way to the kitchen with pie on his mind. "I'm on the highway to hell!" Dean bellows, opening the door to the oldest fridge known to mankind as he gyrates his hips with abandon.

But what greets Dean as the door opens nearly kills him on the spot. And all he knows is that the end is here, the world has truly ended. There is no pie. The pie is gone. It is all gone. He ate it all and forgot. Dean gasps and grabs his heart, falling to his knees in front of the open fridge.

"Noooooo!”

How can this be happening? Is there anything worth living for? And all the other existential questions that pertain to life without pie are running through Dean's tormented mind.

The ghost of a slain Sam appears above Dean, who is now curled up in a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably. "You know, I don't recall you being this sad when I died?”

Dean raises his gaze to dead Sam with a maddening look of rage. "How dare you!" Dean growls and points to the ghost from his place on the floor. "You know pie is my only love left in this world. And why should I be sad for you, huh? You were the dumbass who decided that he wanted to save the world." Dean mocks as he juts his jaw out and moves it back and forth. "Na na na. It's my duty to rid humanity of this hell on earth. I'll save them all!”

"You were a fucking idiot, Sam."

Dead Sam disappears with a puff. Dean yells at the spot where he used to be before kicking the fridge shut.

"Motherfucker!"

Dean couldn't remember the last time he didn't have pie. Stock piling the best dessert on earth has been his only purpose since the apocalypse. Raiding every diner across the states, gathering pies of every kind. Dean tries to remember the last time he went pie hunting, and then he remembers his heat.

It was his only rule, his only directive for himself in this undead world: lock the fridge and hide the key before going into heat, or else it would become a pie binge time.

As an omega living in the end times, your heat could spell death as you seek anything with a dick to fuck. But for Dean, it spells eat all the goddamn pie, apparently. Then dying because you have no goddamn pie. Well now that he has no pie to satisfy he needs, if he goes into heat, he might just try to fuck a zombie.

It's a good thing Dean is too stubborn to die fucking a zombie. He psychs himself up, pumping the air with his fists and then claps his hands together. "It's pie hunt'n time!"

Dean doesn't bother to change. Zombie brains will mask his delicious scent. Grabbing the keys to his Chevy Impala and his favorite shotgun, he hits the road.

A classic guitar riff fills the air as "Back in Black" plays on the radio. Dean drives like a bat out of hell; he has to, or else he risks the fiends hidden in the shadows jumping out to force him off the road. Dean has the pedal to the floor as he speeds towards the highway that will take him to Chicago.

Chicago is the one place left on earth where there is some semblance of the old way of life. When the metaphysical gates of Hell opened, the devils took up residence in the Windy City, grabbing humans to serve them like the great pharaohs of Egypt. It seems like the ugly bastards from down under prefer their towers high, their pizza deep, and their suits snazzy. Dean even heard that the Prince of Hell took up residence there. It was a risk he had to take, and it was the most likely place he'd find the sweet, sacred staple of good ol' America.

Now you may ask why Dean would go through all this trouble. You shouldn't ask first off, it's not like Dean can fucking bake a pie. Well, he could, if he knew how to apply himself and follow directions to a simple recipe. But Dean didn't finish high school, and following directions is what got Sam butchered. Besides, it’s way more fun to hunt the pie, banish some devils, and blow off the heads of the fucking undead.

Also, Dean is a bit crazy, if you must know. He hasn't been quite the same since Sam separated his spirit from his body. It's also devastating when an omega suddenly loses their alpha and witnesses their violent and unnecessary death. So yeah, Dean lost his brother and his alpha, who died a hero because some fucking prophecy told him he had to spill his guts for all of humanity. A lot of good that did.

It's not something you can just get over. The best way Dean knows how to distract himself from the black hole consuming his heart is to fight and fill it with his favorite delight: pie. Oh, that sweet pie.

Driving across the wasteland that was once the great country of America, Dean shoots the heads off various undead with one hand on the wheel. At one point, he even gets surprised by a pack of hellhounds as he takes a piss on the side of the road. Those fuckers are impossible to kill, so he does a mad scramble back to his car, not bothering to open the door as he jumps in through the window. Dean and his sweet ride, Baby, both escape without a scratch.

Chicago emerges in the distance, and it is a sight for sore eyes to the pie-hungry omega. When he gets close, he takes care to park Baby where no one or anything can find her. The city is incredibly easy to infiltrate. In fact, it might be way too easy, but what do devils have to fear in this world? Dean can actually think of a few things, like Leviathans and nosy witches. He shivers at the thought as he walks down the street, sliding into the crowd of enslaved humanity.

There are a few Knights of Hell lurking about, but not even Lucifer's demons can keep Dean from his task. Dean searches the crowd, looking for a specific type of woman—one with a distinctly round figure, gray hair, and the leathery skin of old age. The kind of woman who memorizes recipes passed down through generations. Dean nearly squeals with childlike delight when he spots one.

She is sitting peacefully on a park bench that overlooks the bare, skeletal trees that line the boulevard. Dean glances around and palms the holy water in his jacket pocket, shifting his ankle to feel the blade in his boot. He sits down next to the elderly woman, but she doesn't pay him any attention. Dean narrows his eyes and leans over to sniff her, the air is free of sulfur.

He clears his throat and turns to the old bag, "Ahem, ma'am. Excuse me, but may I ask you a question?" She blinks and then turns in a creepy way to give Dean a kindly smile. There is a dazed look in her eyes when she takes in Dean's face.

"Oh, aren't you a cute one? They must love you." At the odd compliment, Dean gives her a shy smile, looking down as he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"They sure do. So, um, hey, do you know where I can get some pie?" Dean peers back at the wrinkled grandmother, filled with bubbling excitement at the anticipation of her answer. She blinks at Dean, clearing the daze from her eyes to survey him more closely. An even wider smile stretches across her face and a twinkle appears in her blue eyes.

"You're looking for pie?" The ancient matron asks, tilting her head. "There's always something baking at the Willis Tower. I hear the King of Hell loves his sweets." Suddenly, Dean feels like she's looking right through him. "Oh, does he love them sweet.”

"Ah, that's good news!" Dean beams, celebrating internally at himself for nailing it on the first try. "Where can I find the Willis Tower?”

The weathered woman remains focused on him as she lifts her arm straight to point at a building in the distance. A hopeful Dean turns to where she points. It is a tall, black building that rises well above the rest. "Oh, that tower, the Sears Tower.”

"It's called The Seat now," she says darkly, "the Seat of Power.”

A grimace spreads across Dean's face as he stares at the menacing building that screams "evil headquarters." He notes the huge winged beasts flying around the top of it. The Seat of Power is the last place he wants to go.

"Would there be a chance you'd know of another place where I can get some pie?" Dean asks the gray-haired crone as he watches what looks like a human figure being thrown off the side of the building. They don't fall long before getting scooped up by the winged-beasts and ripped apart in mid-air.

"Nope."

"Well, okay. Thanks!" Dean gets up, straightens his jacket, and heads off towards the scariest place on earth.

The old hag watches him go, her eyes are pools of black, and she shows her pointed teeth with a wide, devilish grin.

The walk to the ominous black tower is quite pleasant. Dean is nearly skipping at the thought of the kinds of pies he might find. Devils tend to have good taste, so there is likely a wide variety. He is nearly drooling as he strolls along the street, the looming building getting closer as everything grows darker.

There is a smart way to enter a place such as the Seat of Power, and then there is the questionable way. Dean just walks right in with all the confidence in the world, and goes right up to the reception desk. A pretty young woman with neatly styled hair looks up and gives Dean a friendly greeting. Dean is distracted by her very red lips; they complement her pale skin and blonde hair. She is beyond perfect.

"Hiya, I was told to come here to ask about a job, or something like that. Would you be able to help me?" Dean gives her his best smile, the kind of smile that makes all genders and dynamics weak in the knees. The woman loses her composure as she melts at Dean. "Oh, of course. That was fast. We just had an opening for an executive assistant."

"That's it, that's the one," Dean jumps at her suggestion, flashing his dazzling smile again.

The receptionist swoons, but quickly composes herself again with a cough. "Just one minute, I'll let them know that you are here. What's your name?"

"Ted Nugent," Dean states without an ounce of hesitation. The receptionist nods and makes a call. She speaks quickly in a hushed voice and then confirms his fake name. "Got it, I'll send him right up.”

When the receptionist hangs up the phone, she grabs a badge and writes his fake name on it. Handing him the badge, she gives him strict instructions: "You are to go straight back to the elevators, the furthest ones across the back wall. They'll take you directly up to floor one hundred. Someone will greet you at the elevator.”

"Perfect. Oh, say, when I'm done my interview. Is there a place where I could like grab a slice of pie?" Dean asks simply, pinning on his badge.

"Yes, there is. The cafeteria is on the tenth floor. They have the best pie," she says with an honest smile. "Especially the apple pie. It's my favorite.”

"Mine too! Thank you—" Dean leans over to read her badge, "Bethany.”

"You're welcome, Ted. Good luck on your interview. You're definitely his type, so I think you'll get it," she winks at Dean, and he gives her a nod before sauntering off towards the elevators.

Dean is buzzing with excitement as he makes a beeline straight for the elevators that will take him to the tenth floor. Of course, they're not the ones the receptionist directed him to.

He tries to control his jubilant laughter of sweet success as he steps inside the car. After the elevator doors close, he silently screams as he runs in place before breaking out into a sultry disco dance, swirling his hips like a professional. When the elevator dings and opens on the tenth floor, Dean quickly finds a placard that depicts the floor layout, and like an X on a treasure map, he locates the cafeteria.

He tries not to run, he really does, but he's not quite walking either, and he nearly bounds into the cafeteria. It's completely empty except for a janitor emptying the trash can. Dean goes right for the dessert bar, and his face lights up brighter than a kid on Christmas morning. Dean can honestly say he's found heaven on this hellish earth.

Pies of all kinds—blueberry, rhubarb, and even peach cobbler (which he hasn't had since before the gates of hell opened)—sparkle from where they sit, almost completely untouched and whole, with only a slice of apple missing. Dean rubs his hands together, trying to decide which one he'll go for first.

"I recommend the pecan," a deep and alluring voice with a British accent says from behind. Dean freezes and then turns to look over his shoulder. A tall, dark, and very handsome man stands calmly behind him, hands in the pockets of the most perfectly tailored suit Dean has ever seen. The man looks expensive and important.

Dean returns to contemplate the many pies before him and locates the pecan one. Turning back to the beautiful man, he points at it and asks, "This one?”

The man raises a thick dark eyebrow and then nods. When Dean goes to cut himself a slice, the man drags his gaze over the hunter’s very pleasing form, lingering on his delectably plump glutes. The man looks at Dean the way Dean looks at pie, with very hungry eyes.

Dean nabs a slice of the pecan, then a slice of cobbler, and for good measure a piece of the apple. His plate is stacked with pie as he moves to grab a napkin and fork, sitting down at a nearby table. Dean isn't even fully seated before his fork is digging into the sticky, sugary pecans. The man joins him, sitting across from the ravenous, pie-eating hunter. He watches Dean gorge himself on way too much sugar. Leaning back, he steeples his fingers together to study the strange and beautiful human.

"You should slow down. If you eat too fast, you'll get a stomach ache," the alluring man tells him matter-of-factly. Dean's fork stops midway to his mouth, and he takes note of the man sitting before him. An annoyed expression crosses Dean's face, and he drops his fork onto the plate, sitting up with a vexed sigh. Dean peers around at the empty tables nearby and then shifts his eyes back to the man. "Look, buddy, I might have taken your request, and boy was it a damn good one, but that doesn't mean you can just invite yourself to sit with me.”

Dean didn't know how the man could get any more handsome, but when he smiles at Dean, it's like the sun has just risen and all the birds are singing. Dean has to shake his head to pull himself out the the trance-inducing beauty the man exudes. There is a very unpleasant feeling settling into his pie-filled gut when he brings his attention back to the man.

"Ted, is it?" The man asks with a slight tilt of his head. He separates his hands and uncrosses his legs to lean forward and rest his forearms on the table. The man also glances around the room, much like Dean did, and then brings his devilishly good-looking face back to Dean. He bares his fangs, which are the fangs of an alpha, and the sight of them makes Dean gulp. "All of these tables belong to me, all of these chairs, that plate, and fork.”

The sinfully gorgeous man smiles even wider. "It all belongs to me, right down to the pie you've been devouring so gluttonously."

"Fuck" and a bunch of other bad words cross Dean's mind as he focuses more deeply on the man in front of him. His blood floods with adrenaline and fear. At Dean's distress, the man scents the air visibly, closing his eyes to smell his sickly sweet scent. "Hmm, omega, you smell absolutely divine.”

Dean regains his composure and responds with sarcasm to the taunt. "Well, I didn't think my day could get any better. I was just looking for a nice slice of pie, but hey, I also get to meet the Prince of Hell himself." Dean smiles sweetly and picks up his fork again. If he was going to die, he might as well finish his pie. You never let pie go to waste.

Lucifer chuckles at Dean's disregard for him. "Oh, I like you. Tell me, what's your real name?”

Dean doesn't bother lying. "Dean Winchester.”

Lucifer's eyes widen at his surname. Dean always did love a good name drop. There isn't a devil that doesn't know it.

"Dean Winchester," Lucifer repeats, rolling his name between his sharp teeth. "Sam's brother.”

"Mmm, hmm," Dean hums between bites of apple pie.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean sees Lucifer wave over some Knights. They are frightening to behold: ghastly beasts in heavy armor, tall and lean. Dean is in deep shit now. He takes his last bite of pie and leans down to his boot to slip out the Demon-killing blade. It's his best-kept secret, one touch of this motherfucker to any part of a devil and poof, demon dust.

Dean knows it won't work on Lucifer. He's not a demon, after all. No, he's the original Fallen Angel. But at least he can take a few devils out before he's torn to pieces. He's ready to meet his end; there's no better way to go than after a slice of pie.

Standing, Dean faces the Knights, and before they can pull their blades, he is on the nearest one, quickly slicing it with the Demon-killing blade. In an instant, the creature screams in agony and then combusts. Dean is already onto the next one, knife ready. But just before the blade can reach the Knight, a strong, clawed hand captures his forearm. He looks up into Lucifer's radiant red eyes.

Lucifer's grip is like a vice that squeezes Dean like a lemon. He feels his bones about to snap when he decides he’d rather let go of the knife. It falls to the tiled floor with an expected clatter. Lucifer's smile is all teeth as he steps smoothly behind him and twists Dean's arm backwards. One arm is now pinned behind his back while the other is free. His free hand is gripping the vial of holy water in his jacket pocket.

Dean is about to throw the water in the Lord of Darkness' face when Lucifer pulls him close. "I'm going to enjoy fucking you, my sweet omega hunter.”

Dean snarls at the possessive pronoun. "I sure do love a good fuck, too bad I'm not into dirtbag fallen angels.”

A clawed hand grabs Dean by the neck. Sharp nails digging into his very sensitive flesh. He is pulled back into the body behind him. Lucifer is a tall bastard, he makes Dean feel small in comparison. "But I sure do love fucking a smart mouth. Tell me Dean, do you swallow?"

Dean can't help but snicker at the question, "Every fucking time.”

A very long and snake-like tongue licks across his neck, directly over the sensitive scent gland. It makes Dean's knees shake and his dick harden at the sensation. He can't remember the last time he had a good fuck. Dean is almost tempted to let the Devil have him, but that just wouldn't do. He has to stand by his morals. After all, devils were the ones responsible for taking his brother from him. Slipping the holy water out of his pocket, Dean moves his arm to his side.

"We're going to have so much fun together, Dean," Lucifer breathes into his ear, making him shiver. Then, he twirls Dean around like a dance partner, turning him to face him. Their chests are touching, and the Devil has an arm tightly wrapped around him while he continues to hold Dean. Dean tries to lean away, but Lucifer grips the back of his head and pulls him in for a kiss.

He doesn't let their lips touch; instead, he uncaps the vial and throws the holy water right into Lucifer's face, right into his gaping mouth, open and ready to devour Dean.

Lucifer reacts violently, pushing Dean from him as he attempts to wipe the burning liquid away. Dean is absolutely thrilled that it worked. Dropping quickly, he nabs his Demon-killing blade from the floor just as the Knight goes to pounce him. He faints to the side and drags the dull blade across the devil's arm. And just like the other one, it howls itself into a dust cloud.

Dean glances at Lucifer, who is screaming, his flesh burning off his face. He shrugs and then walks back over to the display of pies. He grabs the cherry one, then turns and walks out of the cafeteria. No one tries to stop him as he waves to Bethany, the receptionist, and leaves through the front door. He rips off his name tag and tosses it away. Dean uses the shadows to slip into the night with his most precious prize.

Little does Dean know, back at the Seat of Power on the tenth floor, Lucifer is sitting at the table they shared in the cafeteria. There is a deviously smitten expression across his blistered but still beautiful features. And in front of him sits a piece of apple pie. He takes a bite, savoring the sweet taste on his forked tongue.

It tastes just like the clever little omega hunter, Lucifer silently vows, will one day be his.

—

Read the rest on AO3

Work completed - 27k words

#omegaverse #alpha beta omega #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #fanfic writing #writeblr #ao3 writer #writers on tumblr #fanfics #supernatural #dean cas #omega dean #alpha castiel #dean x castiel #lucifer tv

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Don't Call Me Sammy: Chapter 6

DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT READ ON AO3

This time when Sam woke up he didn’t seem to be in the prison. He knew he still was, though. Of course he was. This was Lucifer’s prison. There was no escaping. With a sinking feeling, Sam realized that it wasn’t just Lucifer’s prison anymore. It was their prison. But, if this was their prison, then where was he?

The room around him did not look like the cage, surrounded in darkness, a void. Instead, he was in a large dining room with fancy hardwood paneling on the walls, tinted a darker color than the floor. The table seemed to be made of dark oak. It was so dark, in fact, that it appeared black. Sam could see his reflection in its shiny surface. He stood near the end of the table, farther away from a set of double doors that were ironically carved with Devil’s Traps. He looked up and took note of the chandelier hanging above the table, keeping the room brightly lit, though instead of lamps with electricity, there were lit candles sitting in sconces. Odd.

Feeling different than when he’d woken up (or whatever it was) the other times, Sam looked down at himself.

“Why am I in a tux?” he asked quietly. He was most definitely in a tux, and a stark white one, of all things.

Great, because this wasn’t ironic enough as it is.

He pushed his chair back and jumped to his feet when a voice—a now very familiar voice—answered him, “Because I want to have dinner with you.”

Lucifer had appeared in the velvet-lined seat across from him, wearing a tux of his own. Though, instead of all the white, the jacket was black, and his pants most likely were as well. The crimson of his tie served as a reminder of the suffering he’d experienced at this dark angel’s hands.

Sam balled his hands into fists, already feeling his heartbeat begin to accelerate with fear. His instincts screamed for him to run and run, but they were confused at the same time. Most human souls never had to go through this—endless torment exacted by the Devil himself. It made him unsure. He suffered, yes, but he always came back. As terrible as it was, it was also a relief. The pain hadn’t yet made him wish to stop existing, so for now, he supposed he could sit down and have dinner with Satan.

Which was odd, because angels didn’t need to eat. This was all just a game, something to make Sam deeply uncomfortable.

He took deep breaths and calmed himself enough to take a seat.

“I should be honored,” he joked, not quite looking at him. It was difficult to do that. This man had seen him weak and vulnerable, had hurt him, had watched him burn.

“Not everyone is special enough to have dinner with me,” Lucifer agreed, “but you on the other hand, you are just something else.”

Sam eyed him expectantly through the hair that had fallen in front of his face. “So, where’s the food?” he asked.

At the snap of his fingers, food appeared before the both of them. Steak dripping with a brown sauce, a baked potato already cut open and stuffed with butter and cheese, green beans, a buttered roll of bread. A wine glass held a red substance that in any other place Sam would think, without a doubt, was wine. Even without holding it up to his nose he could smell what it was. Demon blood.

He grabbed the glass, and held it out. “How did you get this stuff?” he asked.

Lucifer grabbed his own glass of demon blood and took a sip. He savored it before answering, “It��s not too difficult, really. All I have to do is trick some pathetic demon into coming near this prison. Then, well, you know the rest.” He gave Sam a smile that made his skin crawl.

To Sam’s utmost surprise, his stomach growled with hunger. He looked down at his abdomen with a frown.

“Right, you probably weren’t expecting that,” Lucifer began. “As you know, Sammy, this is my prison, which means, I can do with it what I wish. If I want there to be a fancy dining room for a dinner date with my vessel, then there it is, decorations and all. If I want to dress you up in a tux, I have one to do so, and since this is a dinner date, I want you to be hungry.”

Sam raised his eyebrows, feigning surprise, though he was really very freaked out about this revelation. “So you did all this just to what, impress me?”

As Lucifer picked up his silverware (Sam flinched when he grabbed the knife) and began to dig into his meal, he answered, “I don’t have to. You already know what I’m capable of, Sam. This”—he waved his fork in the air, gesturing around the room—“is simply a reminder.”

Watching Lucifer doing something as normal as eating disturbed him, but it also bothered him to see him cutting into his steak. It reminded him of Lucifer using a different knife to tear through flesh and bone. After a shudder, Sam pushed his chair in more, picked up his silverware and began to eat. It was easier than he thought it would be to eat. Though the hair on the back of his neck stood on end just from being in Lucifer’s presence, he really was hungry. Why he was hungry was just wrong, but now not even being disgusted could make him lose his appetite.

The food was surprisingly good, but it didn’t interest him as much as the contents of the glass. Still, he tried to have self-control. He didn’t want to completely lose it in front of Lucifer. That would be degrading.

As they ate, Lucifer remained quiet, and when Sam looked across at him he seemed thoughtful. Though, the look he gave him whenever he took a sip from his glass unnerved him. It made Sam look at his own glass, which he’d still left untouched. It took a great deal of willpower to do that, especially when he could smell the aromatic scent drifting from it.

He swallowed roughly as he observed it, wanting nothing more than to reach out and down it. As he clenched his jaw he felt a muscle in his face twitch.

“Come on, Sammy. Have a sip.”

“I think I’ll just finish my meal,” Sam said, about to cut off a piece of steak. But then, the plate and the food vanished, along with the silverware he had been holding. The glass was now right in front of him.

“I told you to drink it, so you’re going to drink it.”

He looked into the glass, eyeing the thick, crimson liquid. Knowing it was demon blood made it look delicious to him. And it was more than delicious. It was intoxicating, addicting, powerful. Every cell in his body seemed to crave it.

How bad can one sip be? he thought. I’m in Hell. Sinning is the social norm around here.

Despite his thoughts he was still hesitant because he didn’t want to do anything Lucifer said.

Earlier, Lucifer had called him his bitch, and that was something he did not want to be.

Blood pumped through Sam’s ears as he tried to resist the temptation.

When he spoke, he could barely hear his own voice, the demon blood capturing most of his focus, “I’m not going to be your bitch.”

Suddenly, Lucifer was behind him, and he grabbed his hair to tug his head back. Their eyes met.

“You should be jumping to do what I say,” he snarled. “You, Sam, belong to me, so if I tell you to drink that demon blood, you drink it.”

With that, he released him, and then walked leisurely around the table to his seat. Sam glared at him the whole time. And meanwhile, the temptation to drink the demon blood grew, nearly pounding through him till it felt like he would shatter to pieces. But there was still that one thing stopping him. To drink it would be to do what Lucifer wanted. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

“Don’t make me force-feed you,” Lucifer threatened.

“Why is this so important to you?” Sam asked. “It’s not like I’ll become some superhuman psychic because of it. I’m dead, if you haven’t noticed, so I don’t really see the perks of this anymore.”

Lucifer leaned forward, placing his hands on the table. The look in his eyes was frighteningly earnest as he answered, “It’s important to me because I know you like it. I know it pleases you. I want to make you happy, Sam.”

Sam laughed at that. “You’ve done a great job, then. Cutting me apart, setting me on fire… best thing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t know why no one else is getting in line to be your plaything.”

Angrily, Lucifer smacked the table, making Sam jump. “You’re going to drink that demon blood even if I have to shove it down your throat.”

Sam, feeling rather smug that he had gotten Lucifer angry yet again, just sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Go ahead.”

They locked gazes, and Sam did his best to not blink or look away. To do so would be to admit defeat. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding when Lucifer leaned back in his chair, pointing at him as a smile of amusement alit his face.

“You’re baiting me,” he said, and then he lowered his voice before continuing, “I like it.” As if Lucifer wanted to make that comment even worse he winked at him! Sam was appalled by it. It must’ve shown on his face because Lucifer went on, “Don’t act so surprised, Sammy. I know you can feel it. We’re two halves of a whole.” As Sam shook his head he countered him with, “Yes.”

Having had more than enough Lucifer to deal with for now, Sam got up and made to leave. He gritted his teeth as Lucifer appeared before him, blocking the doors. He tilted his head, lips turned downwards in a little pout. “Where do you think you’re going, bunk buddy?”

That gave Sam pause. “Bunk buddy?”

“Oh? I didn’t tell you? We’re sharing a bed tonight, and all the other nights you’re in here.” As he came towards him he found that he couldn’t move, fear freezing him in place. And Sam closed his eyes when he stroked a hand across his cheek, and then through his hair. It was too difficult to look at Lucifer as he touched him like this. His voice was soft when he spoke, and the sincere emotion in it made Sam’s eyes sting with unshed tears, “We’ll finally get to be together in the way we’re meant to.”

Sam found the courage to pull back, and he snapped at him, “We’re not meant to be together in any way.”

Lucifer began walking towards him slowly, making Sam step back. “Poor, stupid Sam. Of course we are. It’s the reason you’re my vessel. We’re two halves of a whole, Sammy. Two halves… of a whole.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Am I? Hmm. I don’t recall ever being told I’m delusional before. Huh, interesting.”

Sam was very aware of the distance between him and the wall behind him closing with each step. There was nothing else he could think to do but back away. Anything to stay away from Lucifer as long as possible. The tears that threatened to spill free made him feel weak in Lucifer’s presence, and it made him even more terrified. There was one word in his head that he knew was correct for describing what Lucifer was going to do to him, but he didn’t want to think it. Such a word had always left a bad taste in his mouth, and thinking of it in respects to himself was horrifying. It was something he never thought would happen. And now, he was going to get backed up against a wall by Lucifer, who had a disturbing idea of the true nature of their relationship. Sam really couldn’t tell if Lucifer was actually delusional. He seemed to believe every word he was saying. He seemed more than interested in Sam in that way. There’d always been that undertone when they’d spoken before, but he’d never been so outright with it.

There was nothing he could say as he was forced to back up against the wall. When he felt the hard wooden surface against his back it became difficult to breathe, his chest tightening. He flinched at the deliberate taps of Lucifer’s shoes against the floor and turned away, closing his eyes. Maybe he could convince himself this wasn’t real.

That was made impossible when Lucifer put a hand on either side of his head, closing him in, and he pressed himself up against him. Sam felt like he was going to throw up, and heat washed through him, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

“It’s alright, Sam,” Lucifer cooed. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll be good to you. I promise.” When Sam said nothing, only let out a terrified whimper, Lucifer said, “Come on, doesn’t this feel right?”

Sam was able to hold his tears back right up until Satan kissed him. Sam pushed at him, fighting to get away. His lips were cold, nearly to the point of stinging, and they were rough and unwelcome.

He was gasping when Lucifer finally pulled away. He managed to get out, “No… none of this… could ever… feel right.”

“It’s really hot with you gasping for air like that, but I see you’re not convinced. Let’s try something else.”

He leaned away from him, which was a small relief, and he pulled his hand back, looking ready to hold something. And then, he was. The glass of demon blood was now in his hand. He eyed Sam pointedly as he drank from it. It took every effort to not wrest the glass from him so he could have some of the blood for himself. Without really noticing what he was doing, Sam tilted his head down towards the glass, his mouth open. Lucifer moved it out of his reach. He looked like he wanted to say something, but his mouth was full. Sam nearly growled at him. He needed that demon blood.

To his dismay the glass disappeared, most likely back to the table. Before he could react, Lucifer was kissing him again, but this time, he opened his mouth, letting the demon blood pour into Sam’s. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he greedily accepted it. At the moment he didn’t care who he was getting the demon blood from, or in what way. All that mattered was the sweet, intoxicating liquid that was filling his mouth. Demon blood was about more than just the taste. It was so much more thrilling than that. As he drank from Lucifer’s mouth he felt new life flood through him, heightening his senses, strengthening his body. His mind kicked into overdrive, and the demon blood became more than just something he was drinking. It became part of him, pumping through his veins as it was meant to.

When his reserve ran dry he pulled back. It took a few seconds to realize what he had just done, and when he did, he felt on the verge of puking all the demon blood back up. Lucifer was smiling, his lips tinted red. When had he put a hand in his hair? Sam tried to shrug him off, but his grip remained firm.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Sam; that right there. True hunger like that is dangerous if left untamed. You feed it, it grows. You leave it alone, it grows. I mean, it eventually diminishes, but it doesn’t truly leave. It’s still there, gnawing away at you. I know you know what I’m talking about. All that time you went without demon blood. Wow, it must have been dreadful. But now I’m here, and I’m going to give you everything you could ever want.”

“Then give me the blood and leave me alone.”

Lucifer stroked his other hand through his hair as he told him, “You know I can’t do that. What kind of soul mate would I be if I left you all by yourself?”

“You’re not my soul mate,” Sam snapped at him, feeling slightly victorious when some demon blood not yet consumed by him splattered onto his face.

Lucifer wiped it away, hardly looking offended. In fact, he licked it from his fingers.

“That’s some good stuff, Sammy. Why don’t we have some more?”

He held his head back with one hand, but Sam was ashamed to say that he didn’t fight him, and instead opened his mouth as Lucifer poured the demon blood into him. Sam swallowed it eagerly as he watched Lucifer have a sip for himself. Angered by the fact that he didn’t have more, he reached for the glass, but like before, it was no longer there. And the only way he could possibly get the demon blood now was to use Lucifer. So he did. All thoughts of what he was truly doing left him as he grabbed Lucifer’s face, letting his tongue dip into his mouth to get at the demon blood he hadn’t yet swallowed. Once again, a rush of power shot through him. It was beyond exhilarating.

He found himself completely unaware of everything but the demon blood, and what he had to do to get it. This continued, Lucifer pouring it into both their mouths and then Sam greedily attempting to consume all of it.

He was shocked out of his high when Lucifer threw the now-empty glass down onto the floor where it shattered. It took a few seconds to truly realize all that had transpired, and when it hit him, Sam crumpled against the wall, his knees weak as his stomach churned and tears rolled down his cheeks. Lucifer backed away, allowing him to slide down to the floor, where he sat, hugging his knees to his chest.

What have I done?

The taste of demon blood was still in his mouth, but it was not so succulent anymore. It only reminded him of Lucifer’s lips against his own. A heavy wave of shame swept through him that made him want to hide. How could he have gotten so out of control? Sam had made out with the Devil for demon blood.

Lucifer crouched down to get on the same level as him. “Don’t cry, Sam. It’s alright.”

Through his tears Lucifer appeared blurry, but he swore that the look of sympathy on his face was real. It made him want to curl into a ball, and never see him again. Never see anyone again. The shame ran so deeply that it hurt. And worse, he was disgusted with himself. Dean was right. He was a monster. A freak.

“P-p-please… just-just leave me a-alone.”

“Sorry, Sunshine, I’m never leaving you alone again.”

Sam let out a distressed scream at Lucifer’s words, and then covered his face with his hands, sobs racking his body. His heart beat too quickly when he felt Lucifer’s hand on his back, gently rubbing. It ran upward to grip the back of his neck. Sam’s sobs abruptly stopped, and his skin crawled. Lucifer started pulling him up to stand, not having a hard time at all due to his angel strength.

“Come on, Sammy. Let’s get you to bed.”

Outraged from yet again being called Sammy by the Devil, and wanting to avoid being violated in any way, shape, or form, Sam struck out. He punched Lucifer soundly in the nose, and he heard several snaps as bones broke.

He was very pleased when he stood and saw Lucifer on the ground. From what he could see, the broken bones from his nose had stabbed into his brain; his now-bloodied face was all misshapen.

“Don’t call me Sammy,” he growled at him, hoping he now felt the gravity of his words. The punch should’ve helped with that.

To his dismay, cold laughter met his ears, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Lucifer started rising to his feet, and as he did so Sam watched in horror as his face began to reconstruct itself; the bones moving forward, dislodging themselves from his brain. When his nose was nearly back to the way it had been before, the blood stopped coming. Sam knew such a thing wouldn’t have killed him, but god, he wished it had. Lucifer got to his feet and Sam prepared himself to continue fighting, tensing his muscles in just the right way to brace against any attack while not compromising his agility.

The walls started fading around him, peeling like dripping paint. He looked around, eyes wide with fear. What was happening? The entire area around him was changing, revealing where he truly was. The cage.

“See?” Lucifer asked. “We still really are in my prison. Well, it’s our prison now, isn’t it?” He took a step closer, prompting Sam to take a step back.

“Stay away from me,” he warned.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “This again? We’ve been over this. You,” he said, pointing at him, “belong to me.” He ended the sentence by pointing a finger at himself. “Therefore, I get to do whatever I want. I can maim you, stab you, slice into you, rip your skin off, take out your bones to have a closer look at them, burn you to a crisp, dress you up, have dinner with you, get you to make out with me—which I must say, was rather impressive—and anything I feel like. You aren’t just my vessel, Sam. Not anymore. You became mine the moment you said yes. And do you know what yes means? It means you wanted this. You asked for this.”

Sam shook his head. “I never consented to being humiliated, tortured, and violated.”

“How stupid are you? Of course you did. I’m Satan! What did you think was gonna happen, huh? That we were going to pick flowers and have a tea party? That I’d braid your hair and we’d share secrets like little girls at a sleepover? No. I’m going to defile you to the best of my ability because, guess what, I want to.”

“You…” Sam began, but then found he had no words to go on. It was impossible to describe the amount of disgust, fear, and hatred he felt for this fallen angel.

Lucifer leaned forward, “...are disgusting? Horrible? Abhorrent? Go on, Sammy. I would love to hear what you think of me.”

Sam clenched his jaw and turned away.

“So if this little rebellious streak is settling down for now, how about I help get you ready for bed?”

He stepped forward again, and Sam instantly stiffened, backing all the way up to the bars of the cage, even till they pressed into him uncomfortably. He stared at Lucifer with wide eyes.

In an attempt to distract him, Sam inquired, “What bed?”

With a snap of fingers a large bed with a blood-red comforter appeared behind him, and he raised his eyebrows, as if asking Sam to be impressed. Sam could only stare as his heart climbed up into his throat. In fact, he forgot to pay attention to Lucifer until he was right in front of him. Sam jumped when he felt his hand grip his jacket, and he turned to him.

He tsked. “Can’t wear a tux in bed, Sammy. That’s practically uncivilized, and also, rather uncomfortable, if you ask me. Let’s say we get you out of these clothes, hmm?”

Despite the urge to fight welling within him again Sam now found himself completely frozen in fear. He shuddered as Lucifer removed his jacket, and then began to undo the buttons on his shirt. When he finished with that, Lucifer ran a hand down his chest, making his skin crawl, and causing sweat to trickle down the sides of his face.

“What’s wrong, Sammy? You nervous?”

“P-please…” he stuttered, entirely at a loss for words.

“Don’t worry. Once we get started this’ll feel right. You’ll see. Like I said, we’re meant to be together.”

When Lucifer began to take his shirt off, Sam pushed at his chest, shoving him away, and he walked to the other side of the cage. If he couldn’t stop this from happening, he could at least delay it. Still, the inevitable made him sick to his stomach.

He hadn’t thought of Michael in a while, but suddenly, he wished that Michael would show up; put an end to this by being an audience. Maybe Lucifer would have the decency to not violate him with Michael watching. Then again, Michael might be pleased by it. He probably thought Sam deserved it for getting them all in here.

Thoughts of Michael coming to the rescue were dashed from his mind. Rather, Sam felt sickened even more by the fact that Michael would most likely enjoy watching him get raped by the Devil.

He jumped when he felt Lucifer press himself up against him, and his hands went around him to do a take two on removing his shirt. Sam clawed at his hands, hoping he’d let go, but the pain didn’t seem to do anything to Lucifer. Rather, he groaned in some twisted form of approval.

“Do that again, Sam,” he breathed. “Let’s really get into this.”

A chill swept through Sam as Lucifer managed to get his shirt off. He felt so much more exposed without it, and it felt so far away, unreachable where it lay behind him at their feet.

Lucifer wrapped his arms around him, and pressed the side of his face against his bare back. He skin was icy cold to the touch, and it made him shudder. He grabbed at his wrists, trying to get him to let go, but this dark angel had more than enough strength to remain unaffected by Sam’s efforts. It made him cry out in frustration.

One hand traveled down to his abdomen, making him breathe quickly, nearly gasping for air.

“No!” Sam cried, backing away forcefully and turning so that Lucifer was slammed backwards against the cage. It made him let go, and Sam stumbled before running clear to the other side, skirting around the bed; just looking at it disturbed him.

“Fine,” Lucifer said as he approached Sam slowly, hands out in a gesture of peace. “Not tonight, okay? Just at least let me get you comfortable.”

“Lucifer, you taking my clothes off is a far cry from comfortable. I’d rather be torn limb from limb.”

“That can be arranged, but later. For now, I just want you to get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“And what makes you think I’ll be able to sleep lying next to you?”

“Am I really that despicable?” Sam gave him a twisted smile as an answer, tilting his head as he did so. Lucifer simply nodded. “I see. Well, you’re not making this easy for yourself, Sam.”

Sam frowned as he watched Lucifer pull out a knife that had previously been hidden inside his suit jacket. He eyed it thoughtfully before approaching, looking purposeful.

“Lucifer, what are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to kill you, let your soul have a little nap, and when it wakes up you’ll be in bed, all comfortable with me.”

In a flash, Lucifer was right in front of him, and the knife slit his throat. Sam barely had any time to feel pain, or even fear, as the life drained out of him.

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #lucifer #sam and lucifer #fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #graphic depictions of violence #dub-con #non-con #writing #my writing

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or-something-better · 10 months

Text

November 3, 2022

(Training night to help practice more than 1 line replies)

1. Sam sits at the main table with the Team. Everyone has a drink, and Sam shares how Gabe sent him to the void. As he tells his story the team reacts to each part he shares.

Once he finishes his story, Charlie is in disbelief at first, but it turns to anger. Sam is frustrated that Gabe can’t see the bigger picture. Ruby agrees with him. Each team member lists a specific time Gabe let his power go to his head.

…………………………..

Alex

sit at table drinking coffee Starbucks

Sam

Things in the Bunker had finally begun to settle down again and I was ready for the rest from all the recent upheaval. Now seated at the map table, I look around at the eager faces before me and feel a little uneasy. I can still feel in my heart their love and happiness at having me back with them earlier and I hate to now have to remind them that everything, all of this horrible mess that happened, was really my fault. Taking a deep breath, I sit back in my chair and just decide I have to rip the bandage off. Because of what I did… Gabe tortured and killed me.

Ruby

I watch Sam, unsure of how he will be after...well, everything.

Charlie

choking on my bottled water he WHAT?? He said he was done….

Patience

sitting at the table with the team I'm the main room sipping my hot tea

Bela

sitting with a beer listening to Sam didn't you get enough punishment once already from him? Why again?

Alex

Oh my lord Gabe Cover my mouth

Crowley

Well clearly he's just as much of a hypocrite as 4th l all the people he condemns. I walk over to Sam and Conjure a glass, pouring some of my Craig into it

Alex

What the shit Gabe! Why did the hell Gabe do that

Meg

Listening to Sam, I'm not sure what I should feel

Bela

Can I get some of that? Holding out a glass I mean seriously Sam doesn't it seem like a bunch of overkill?

Meg

I hate him for doing what he did, but I also hate Gabe for doing what he did

Ellen

standing at a chair around the table listening to Sam, anticipation feels high in the room tonight. I almost choke on air at what he just said

Henry

sits there eating my snack not sure how to react.

Patience

listening to Sam concerned that Gabe might not be finished how are you feeling Sam since you've come back

Ruby

Watching everyone's reaction, I gauge what will come next

Sam

Not really sure, to tell you the truth Patience. I think it's just going to take me a little bit of time.

Patience

As you can tell we're all so happy you're back I sip my tea and set the cup back down

Meg

thinking about recent events, my blood starts to boil, and I make a beer appear and start drinking

Ruby

Don't rush it, Sam. It's going to take time for a lot of things to process.

Sam

Their anger and unease was just about what I expected, and even though I DID feel responsible at the core of everything, I also felt a little bit put out with it all too and had the small need to defend myself. I’m not saying what I did was right. I wish that it hadn’t had to happen. But at the time, I truly believed I was doing the right thing to keep everyone one safe… especially all of Gabe’s own family. Feeling the energy to get it all out rising, I sit up straighter and look at each of them directly. Look, Abel came to me with a no-win situation. He wanted power and was ready and can’t help but smile a little excuse the pun, he was ready and able to carry out his plan. Lucifer was the big player behind the scenes.

Charlie

Gabe of all people should know his own brother my mind starting to spin

Alex

Sam I am glad you are here

Bela

Keep everyone safe except a baby? I mean it is kinda beside the point because Charlie's right. Gabe being ALL KNOWING should have known what was going on to begin with right?

Meg

looking at Charlie that's a joke.

Crowley

I turn and pour some for you as well. Did he even listen to this? To your reason or did he just...... torture you for shits and giggles with his head up is own ass? I mean, he seems the type to only care about his own opinions. The exact thing he always judges demons for.

Ellen

But, we all know Gabe. looking at Sam why didn't you come to him and tell him about Abel?

Charlie

Of course not… but he’s smarter than that….

Bela

Why didn't GABE already know? He's quick to remind us of everything else he already knows without being told a thing

Patience

looking at Sam in shock of what he just told use I understand boy that Lucifer is one we could stand to be rid of eh

Alex

Look over Sam

Meg

looking away, trying to hide my own feelings when it comes to people you love sometimes you do stupid shit...

Henry

Luci is my friend. He took me out and he didn’t do anything bad it was fun. I don’t understand how he is bad trying to stay calm

Charlie

He’s supposed to love us too…

Ellen

Well he too was dealing with a lot. And think about it. Your wife is pregnant with more babies. He's been helping us left and right. When did he really have time to constantly keep lucifer in check? starring you in the eyes would you have known if you were Gabe?

Patience

worried that Henry will get mixed up in one of Lucifer's plans @Henry SPN you so very young though please be careful with him being sure wouldn't want anything to happen to you

Meg

Key words in there. Supposed to.....

Sam

Looking directly back at Ellen, I slap the table with both hands as I jump to my feet. But I thought… I thought that Gabe would at least listen to me about it all, ya know? I begin to pace as my agitation grows. I thought that we had such a long history between us that he’d at least give me that much respect. I mean, he’s made a few mistakes of his own in the past and has to know himself that sometimes the way you see things happening isn’t actually how they turn out to be. Taking that baby was horrible and hard and the right thing to do, it was never in harm’s way. Gabe should have believed that I wouldn’t intentionally hurt any of his family enough to listen to what I had to say. I suddenly stop moving. He didn’t…

Crowley

Pup. Just because people are nice to you, doesn't always mean they're good people. I struggle to figure out how to explain. people are capable of good and bad, and everything is based on choices. Bad people can still be nice to others.

Alex

Sam what you do in void? How you escape?

Charlie

It’s not the first time his temper has gotten in the way…

Ruby

And he tends to turn a blind eye to his brother

Charlie

He’s my best friend and even I’ve been at the receiving end of a wrathful god

Alex

Gasp jump he also kill all of us too

Patience

Yes he did a few times

Henry

decides to go back to my carrots. They were pretty good boiled. Thinking I’m turning into Sam I shrug and carry on eating

Alex

Oh yeah Nod it was painful

Bela

thinking about everything being said well I mean it's always been said God is a just God. I mean I get being judgmental but he's more kill now and ask questions even later instead of even trying to hear anyone out... I mean .. seems the only "family" he gives a damn about is his wife and children. The rest of us he don't care. He will kill without batting a bloody eye

Ellen

surprised at the outburst, but really I shouldn't be. I know Sam has never done anything that to put this family in danger. I take a moment to compile myself and really think about his words. Feeling the hurt he has about it inside my heart. I put my head down and look back at him your right Sam. We all have had a long history and love each other enough to give the respect of listening to each other.

Meg

Listening to everyone going on about Gabe, drinking my beer

Crowley

He's never truly trusted any of us. I shake my head just because he says we're his family, he'll ditch us as soon as it's convenient. I take a drink before laughing and shaking my head He's more like a demon than a just God. Maybe he really should rule Hell.

Sam

I have to admit that it feels just a little bit better hearing that some of them understand and have similar opinions.

Charlie

pacing the room, my mind racing trying to take in what Sam is telling me He’s my best friend, but Sam is like my brother… how do you even choose?!?!…the water isn’t cutting it…. heading to the kitchen I grab a beer, and down half of it then head back out to the table

Henry

Dad killed me with cookies. I get that I need to cut back but I wasn’t looking for that answer. Now I don’t like cookies. shoves a carrot in my mouth

Sam

Alex The V-void... I can’t even get the words out without tripping up. I don’t really think I can talk about it yet. Thinking to myself if ever. But I will say this… I’ve spent time in the true Hell. A lot of time. my mouth suddenly goes dry and I have to reach over and take a drink of my beer before I can speak. The Void was worse.

Charlie

I just can’t believe he would do that… we made up, he led me to believe you were safe!!! How am I supposed to put my trust in that?!?! …

Alex

Hold Sam hand it ok Sam if you don’t want talk about I really glad you are here safe

Bobby

We all are.

Sam

Gives Alex's hand a squeeze back

Charlie

kicking a chair I continue to rant It’s an abuse of power! And trust…. I’m hurt… and so angry that he treats us this way… all we’ve ever done is help him…. Even keeping Donna safe every damn time we’ve been attacked because of the babies being born… what a thank you!!!

Ruby

I quietly sit beside Sam, giving him moral support as well as standing ready should he need to leave.

Ellen

watching my family and hearing the opinions and trying to find my own feelings and thoughts I hate what he did to you, I hate the fact that you were even in that position to have to choose to steal ONE OF HIS KIDS!!! feeling my face get hot. Fighting tears back. I take a deep a breath and exhale

Patience

listening to everyone talk he's not going to change though so maybe we just have to me more on our toes and hopefully Sam will be back to his normal self again if that's even possible

Crowley

I pat Sam on the shoulder We've got your back. We all need to stick together. We can't rely on some God, we never could. We're just convenient playthings.

Alex

Right Nod drink

Bela

drink the drink Crowley poured me my mind wandering to the things over noticed just since I've been back with everyone I agree with you... Beginning to think he may be as bad if not worse than Chuck in a sense .. I mean chucks the one who created everything and Gabe's been about as bad as Lucifer about us "useless humans" and how we are needy and can't do anything even though we do work hard to make it and fight the things he could destroy with a snap of fingers but he's so quick to use his powers against us instead of seeing reason or being understanding of the situation.

Henry

Dad killed me with cookies. I get that I need to cut back but I wasn’t looking for that answer. Now I don’t like cookies. shoves a carrot in my mouth. Then goes to Crowley for cuddles

Sam

I reach over and give Ruby's arm a squeeze, supremely grateful for her support throughout all of this. Gabe isn’t the Big Picture kind of God he tries to portray, nope… it’s all about what the picture looks like for HIM. Knowing that… I shake my head and lean back in my chair with a sigh. Makes me view him and all his power in a whole new light.

Charlie

Right? How many times have we died for him? Literally??

Crowley

I crouch down and scoop up Henry. I couldn't protect you....

Ellen

perking my head up your right too... shaking my head

Patience

patting Alex on the shoulder yes he did sweetie but we're all ok now. I don't think it's going to be as easy for Sam though

Bela

Well I haven't been around long enough to but would have. And even with me.... That book written about what "God" is or who he is claims he's a forgiving God... But he seems awfully vengeful and full of hate towards anyone who doesn't have the type of powers on his level

Alex

And and Gabe use his power and make me shoot myself Took a deep breath I have that dream repeat again and again

Crowley

And if any of us complain about dying, about him killing us. He'll just remind us that "He knew we'd come back. It had to be brutal because 'I'm a trickster'.. I could only tell certain people" screw those he claims are his kids like Henry.

Alex

Nod yeah

Meg

thinking back to when he killed us all in the bunker, I whisper what he did to Cass, I don't think I could ever forgive him! a single tear rolling down my cheek, I finish my beer and make another appear

Charlie

He could rid the world of the evil we face, but instead keeps us fighting… we face danger constantly …. He uses our feelings against us but if his are hurt it’s the end of the world

Ellen

hearing Charlie's words resound in my head. Gabe and using our fears against us. I close my eyes and remember seeing my own gun in my face and remembering the sulfur smell

Patience

thinking back to chuck. Isn't that pretty much what chuck did

Bela

Smirks Like father like son! Chuck was the same. And Gabe claims his father was a downright git. That's calling the kettle black a bit isn't it?

Henry

Your still my bestie. starts crying realizing the truth. Starts rethinking why I’m calling god dad in the first place. At least I still have my family

Crowley

I hug Henry tight and take a deep breath. This is just proof that, As far as Gabe is concerned, family does end in blood.

Patience

looking at Sam as I get up to get more tea Sam can I get you a beer or does anyone else want anything

Bela

thinking about the murders in cold blood that he did.. we actually LISTENED and we're forgiving of him killing us when we were told that Death put him up to it because he was going to kill his family! But yet he killed us in violent ways even. Used everyone in my past to kill me even! He hasn't even given me a single chance since I came back!

Patience

as I'm walking towards the kitchen I hear what Bella just said not to mention the giant spiders we were gag

Alex

I can help you pat Stand up

Patience

Sure Alex come on we'll go grab some beers and whatever the rest of the team might want we start walking toward the kitchen

Ellen

Sam, I'm sorry you went through that. I'm sorry you were faced with what you had to choose. All I want is to protect yall. And yes Bela even you. If could protect you all from Gabe I would. If could protect Gabe from himself I would! I stroll to the bathroom to let my tears fall

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aoitrinity · 3 years

Text

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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autisticgayngel · 3 years

Text

Canonverse Castiel-centric/pining/loving Cas fics

some of these are Dean's POV and a lot are alternating POV, but all of them really delve into Cas's emotions and his love for Dean. All canonverse and all happy endings. Categorised by post-confession, pre-s15 curtain fic and other canon-era. Descending word count within each category. If anyone has any recs for things I should add lmk!

Post-Confession Fics

things happen (they do, they do, and they do) by sobsicles 28k rating E

Everyone has recced this, and for good reason, it's stunning. Cas gets back from the empty and Dean sort of lets him down gently and is very worried about breaking his heart. Despite this Cas is finally able to express to Dean how much he loves him and takes full advantage of this. He's earnest and sweet and so intense about it, but also incredibly hurt about the lack of reciprocation, though he tries to hide it. He does get the love he deserves in the end and it's so good!

closer (isn't close enough) by fleeceframe 18k rating E

Again, Dean's POV, but very much focused on how much Cas loves him. Has the gorgeous Cas line: “When you are hungry, you eat. When you are tired, you rest. When you are dirty, you bathe. But what are you supposed to do with love?”

My unintended by DeanaWinchester, Jeanne_de_Valois 10k rating E

Really good Cas POV, he’s obsessive and insecure but also deeply loving.

my heart a compass by lagaudiere 10k rating T

The empty torments Cas with visions of Dean and of the family he longs to have with Dean. Dean saves him.

I said show me something by ilovehowyouletmefall 7k rating E

Sparked by the debate about whether or not Dean thinks Cas can feel. Cas is hurt by Dean saying he thought he couldn't feel and vulcan mind melds to show him exactly how he feels about him. It's a really interesting exploration of both of their feelings and fears.

Gift by thisisapaige 2k rating G

Very sweet little fic of them trying to work things out once Cas returns from the empty.

Pre-s15 Curtain Fics

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden 95k rating E

Dean tries to retire with his family but finds himself alone as Sam and Jack take a road trip and Cas goes hunting in order to prove he's still useful as a human and to avoid thinking about his feelings for Dean. Really agonising and harrowing at the start as they both feel so rejected and miserable. Cas gets into situations where monsters use his feelings for Dean to attack him. Eventually, they're able to tentatively work out their feelings and settle down together and it's very sweet.

Morning Glory by edgarallanrose 26k rating E

Dean and Cas retire together. Cas becomes a beekeeper and Dean starts to use the honey he makes to bake goods, which they sell at the farmer's market. Cas is very much in love with Dean but it takes Dean a bit longer to work things out.

Other Canon-era

A Winter's Tale by NorthernSparrow 64k rating T

This one hurts a lot, so fair warning for that. Cas falls ill while human and homeless and is hospitalised. Dean finds the journal Cas kept as he struggled to survive in this time. Pre-Destiel but Cas does write a lot about his feelings for Dean. Sam and Dean shower Cas with love and kindess as he recovers. Also a destiel epilogue that is very sweet and fluffy.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) 57k rating E

Cas confesses his love to Dean post s11 finale but the timing is terrible and Dean is very repressed about it all and breaks Cas's heart. Cas gets an Italian man of letters boyfriend in an attempt to get over it and Dean is insanely jealous (which Cas is oblivious to) but they all have to work together to try to save Sam from the BMOL. Dean eventually gets his shit together and treats Cas the way Cas has learnt to understand he deserves.

That Black Dog Ache by SaltyWords (agent4hire22) 28k rating E

This is very much Dean's POV but I'm putting it here anyway because it has a really intense love confession from Cas, which I'll include an excerpt of that drives me insane:

'“I listen to your music, and I close my eyes. I try to imagine I’m in the Impala, hunting with you. And, sometimes,” his throat jumped, “I lay on your bed. I think about what it would be like if I got to have a place on it beside you... If you ever let me get close enough.”'

Kelp!I Need Somebody by andimeantittosting (Saylee) 27k rating E

A really sweet fic in which Sam, Dean and Cas go to investigate a case on Jesse and Cesar's ranch. Switching POV with really good mutual pining as they tentatively begin to realise the other feels the same.

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous 26k rating E

Set early s4, Cas has to possess Dean temporarily. While doing this, he has to work to hide his feelings from Dean. Cas is already obsessed with Dean and in love with him but is embarrassed by it and struggles to keep Dean from seeing all of this, especially when Dean wants to have sex with someone while Cas is possessing him.

Après by imogenbynight 24k rating E

Set after the angels fall in s8. Cas falls to earth in Paris and realises he's in love with Dean. Dean comes to get him and they find love together in Paris.

desiderium, lost by atlasian 20k rating T

Castiel confesses his love for Dean and Dean tells him to move on. Cas tries, fairly unsuccessfully, before Dean gets it together.

No Other Worthy Quest by MajorEnglishEsquire 15k rating E

Cas just loves Dean very much.

'“For fuck's sake,” his skin is heating. Cas can feel it. “Stop saying lovey-dovey shit.”

“I know,” Cas rolls his eyes. “It’s so mortifying for you when I want to tell you I love you. I’m using all my self-restraint, I promise not to embarrass you.”'

The Arrow by jscribbles 12k rating T

Valentine's day and Cas has been hit by a Cupid's arrow and is literally sick with love for Dean.

and all this devotion by dothraki_shieldmaiden 10k rating M

Dean gets hurt on a hunt and Cas takes care of him in a cabin. Very sweet, delightful Cas POV of him being very much in love.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits 10k rating E

Cas struggles to work out why Dean deems some things meaningful and some things worthless, and where he fits into this apparent dichotomy. Really gorgeous and agonising Cas POV that deals with their constant issue of Dean just wanting Cas to stay and Cas wanting Dean to want him to stay but they're both too afraid to express it.

Breathe by turningthepages 9k rating G

Dean and Cas platonically sleep together to help with Dean's sleep. Cas both likes the situation and longs for it to mean more.

First Date by aeli_kindara 9k rating T

Dean asks Cas on a date and they're both trying very hard to make it all work. The sequel is stunning too.

'Dean says, “We should do that. Go on a date.”

Something in Castiel’s chest fuzzes, like static on a TV, and stops.'

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden 9k rating M

After 15x3 The Rupture, Cas goes back to Rexford. While there, he thinks about how Dean hurt him all those years ago and how he hurt him more recently. Partly a 9x6 Heaven Can Wait fanfic-gap fic.

Let it Linger by OmniscientOranges 8k rating M

Cas starts sleeping with men out of jealousy when watching Dean pick up women at bars. The way the fic describes how in love he is and how hopeless he feels about it is both agonising and very sweet.

He Thought He Was Reckless by MajorEnglishEsquire 8k rating M

Cas plays up injuries so that Dean will coddle him. Self-woobification from the Angel of the Lord and it's so sweet!

Something to Protect by Sass_Master 6k rating G

Cas tries to work out how to make Dean feel less unsafe so that he no longer has to jolt awake. Sweet, tentative intimacy and Cas enjoying it so much.

lonely hearts. by outpastthemoat 5k rating G

Deals with Cas accompanying Sam and Dean on hunts and feeling incredibly lonely and longing to be with Dean. He finds solace in romance novels.

Some People Would Call This Romantic by almaasi 5k rating G

Human Cas goes to the beach and finds it rather overwhelming. Taking a romantic walk with Dean along the beach is also overwhelming.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood 4k rating T

Really sweet! Cas and Eileen talk and gossip about Sam and Dean in the bunker at night over tea.

A Place to Rest by Inessencedivided 3k rating G

Dean and Cas talk through things after the Stuck in the Middle with You love confession. Cas cries some more.

White Noise by domesticadventures 2k rating G

Cas struggles with feelings of worthlessness in the aftermath of Lucifer's possession.

Receipts by surlybobbies 1k rating G

Cas writes little notes about how much he loves Dean on receipts from meals they share together. Dean finds them.

#fic rec #destiel fic #fanfic #spn #destiel #pining cas #fic

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bi-bard · 3 years

Text

Acceptance - Dean Winchester Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Acceptance

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader

Requested: No

Word Count: 3,095 words

Warning(s): death, violence, grieving, self-blame

Summary: (Season 5) Dean has seen people die before. However, when (Y/n) dies, he can't seem to accept it. He's stuck in a swirl of anger and pain and self-blame. He clings to everything that reminds him of them. In a moment of need, Gabriel steps in to help Dean take the final steps towards goodbye in the best way he can think of?

Author's Note: Any excuse to make Jensen sing, y'know? (Also, a few scenes have been changed just a bit from the original)

Here are links for the songs I used: First Song, Second Song, Third Song, Fourth Song, Fifth Song

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

------------------------------------

--Dean's P.O.V--

I blinked up at the motel ceiling. I knew I should get up. Go find a hunt, eat breakfast, research, even... I should just do something. I just couldn't.

I rolled onto my side and frowned. I knew (Y/n) wasn't going to just be there. But the empty spot still brought back a feeling of disappointment.

"Dean," I looked across the room. Sam was standing there with a frown on his face. There was a bag in his hand. Probably breakfast. "How are you feeling?"

I just shrugged.

It was like I was stuck in limbo. Everything was just slightly off and I didn't know what to do or how to get out of it.

We had other things to worry about. The apocalypse, Michael, Lucifer... all of it. The world was resting on our shoulders. But I couldn't help it. (Y/n) had been my world for years now.

We had been working on a hunt. It seemed like a sign of angels, so we knew it was going to be an intense fight.

Zachariah was there. He had tricked us.

With the hopes of- I was assuming- breaking my spirit so I would just relent to his mission, he took (Y/n) and killed them. The angel blade went perfectly through their chest. Straight through the heart.

Sam and I sat in the empty warehouse for probably hours. I held (Y/n) to my chest, crying and begging for them to come back.

Sam took over the responsibility for setting up the memorial for us to burn (Y/n)'s body.

I just watched, silently crying as I had to say goodbye to the one thing I let myself believe would be there forever. My forever. Burning in front of me. How cliche can you get?

No demon would make a deal. No one would do a favor. Cas couldn't even help me. (Y/n) was gone forever.

"Dean," Sam repeated. "It's not your fault-"

"They tried to get me to say yes," I cut him off. "One word would've saved (Y/n)'s life."

"But it would've-"

"Doesn't matter," I muttered.

It would've been the most selfish thing but if I could've had (Y/n) for just one more day, then I would deal with the consequences later.

Sam sat on the edge of the other bed, "I saw the ring. When I went to grab breakfast."

It wasn't a big ring. A simple band I found in a pawn shop. But it was beautiful and I had my hopes up. Once we stopped the apocalypse, I was ready to propose to (Y/n). We never got that far.

"I'm sorry," he added. "(Y/n) would've loved it."

"Thanks," I muttered. I felt tears in my eyes again. We would never know.

'Are you gonna-Dean?"

I stood up abruptly and started pulling on my jeans. My socks and shoes were next.

"I'm going for a drive," I said bluntly.

"Dean-"

"Please, Sam," I grabbed my leather jacket. "I... I need this."

Sam nodded, "Please don't do something stupid."

I nodded back and grabbed the car keys. I walked out to Baby, ready to jump in the driver's seat.

"Hi Deano," I jumped, turning around and seeing Gabriel standing by the trunk of Baby.

"I'm not in the mood for your crap, you winged son of a bitch," I snapped.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not here because it's my ideal vacation. Someone called in a favor."

"Listen," I walked over to him, "I don't care what Sam told you but you're the last person who could help me-"

"You know the rules," Gabriel interrupted me loudly. "Play your role, learn your lesson. Good luck!"

"I swear, I will kill-"

Gabriel touched my forehead before I could finish my threat.

I looked around as it was suddenly much darker.

First was my surroundings. I was backstage... somewhere. Some random theatre that I didn't recognize.

Next was my outfit. I was in a button-up shirt with a button-up vest and some nice-ish pants. My shoes were scuffed to all hell like I wore them every day. I reached up. I was wearing a cap.

"What the hell," I looked over to see a ladder.

I walked over, feeling like this was the right way to go. I climbed up slowly, very aware of my lack of a gun or weapon.

I climbed into the booth, focusing more on silently sneaking than anything else.

"Oh, you again," I jumped, looking at the other side of the box.

"(Y/n)," I whispered.

It was (Y/n), definitely (Y/n). Oh my god.

"Will you just, please go away, I'm working," they waved me off. I heard piano starting. I looked out to the stage.

Everything froze. Gabriel popped up in front of me.

"Listen here, this isn't funny," I basically growled. "Why are you doing this?"

"Again, I was called in for a favor," Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Just follow your gut. It'll all fall into place. Like you've known it forever."

Gabriel was gone before I could say or do anything else.

(Y/n) was still staring at me. I took a deep breath. This was time with them. More time. Exactly what I asked for.

"Smart girl, eh?"

Ew. That was gross. I am never say anything like that again.

"Beautiful, smart, independent," I listed, leaning on the railing in front of me.

I couldn't help but think back to when I first started developing feelings for (Y/n). I like how the compliments seemed to make (Y/n) nervous.

(Y/n) rolled their eyes and went back to the journal they had been writing in.

"I've got no use for moonlight... or sappy poetry," I found myself singing quietly. I am never letting Sam tell me that I am a bad singer ever again. "Love at first sight's for suckers... at least it used to be."

I studied (Y/n)'s face. I smiled to myself. I just want to hold them again.

"The girls are nice, once or twice, 'til I find someone new," I continued. "But I never planned on someone... like you."

Just as the music on stage started, the surroundings started to change. I panicked.

"(Y/n)," I yelled, reaching for them.

They were gone and I was left in a much fancier room. Bright lights and gold and red. I was in a suit. A full suit. I looked over at (Y/n), who was in all black.

Moulin Rouge. (Y/n) loved this movie and carried a copy of it in their bag. Some motels had DVD players, so we could watch it. I never wanted to admit it but I liked sitting with (Y/n), listening to them quietly sing along to it.

Oh, to be able to do that again.

Just open your mouth a go with it, I thought. It was (Y/n). Anything would be better than nothing.

"My gift is my song..."

Belting Elton John. Not my normal style but... nothing about this was.

"And this one's for you," I continued. I took slow steps toward (Y/n).

They grinned softly, raising an eyebrow at me.

"And you can tell everybody this is your song," I slowly grabbed (Y/n)'s hand. They looked down at our hands and smiled. "It may be quite simple but now that it's done... I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words..."

My forehead touched their's.

"How wonderful life is while you're in the world..."

I pulled (Y/n) into my arms and twirled around with them. (Y/n) laughed as they followed my steps.

In our life, we didn't get this very often. The funny dancing and the music and the romantic atmosphere. But this still felt familiar. It felt right.

I spun (Y/n) in a circle before pulling them back in. For a moment, I could've sworn that I saw a sad look in their eye. Like they were as aware of this being fake as I was.

How would Gabriel's vision be aware of that?

"I hope you don't, I hope you don't mind," I hadn't even realized that I was still singing until I noticed the look on their face. "That I put down in words..."

I could've sworn there were tears in (Y/n)'s eyes.

I leaned in a little closer, my lips almost touching their's, "How wonderful life is... while you're in the world."

I pressed my lips to (Y/n)'s lightly. My eyes fell shut as I tried to pull them as close as possible. A few tears fell from my eyes. I didn't think I was ever going to experience this. (Y/n) was there. I was holding them. Kissing them.

I pulled away slowly, hesitant to open my eyes.

When I finally did, I caught sight of my button-up shirt and slacks. (Y/n) was standing in front of me, but their hands now leaning on a stainless steel table.

(Y/n)'s eyes were closed, tears creating lines along their cheeks. I cupped their cheeks, wiping the tears away slowly.

"I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes," I sang quietly. I didn't know this song. At all. (Y/n)'s eyes slowly opened. "They've seen things you never quite say but I hear..."

(Y/n) let out a small chuckle, smiling at me.

"Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you," I nudge their nose with mine. "And I'll stay there as long as you let me."

We stood there together, holding each other as we continued singing.

The room was dark, one light above us. I assumed it was late.

"It's addictive the minute let yourself think," (Y/n) sang quietly. "The things that I say just might matter to someone..."

One thing we both tried to work on... our pattern of self-hatred and self-blame.

"All this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away," they reached up to the side of my face. "But this time... I think I'd consider the stay."

Yes, please, stay. Stay with me. Come back to me.

"Because you matter to me," we both were sobbing at this point. "Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody... you matter to me..."

"I promise you do," (Y/n) looked like they were pleading with me, but I wasn't sure what for. "You, you matter to me. I promise you do, you see?"

"You matter to me," their hands clutched my shirt as I held their face.

(Y/n) faded in front of me.

"No," I yelled, grabbing at the fading vision.

I was suddenly in a hallway.

"I'm tired of this," I yelled at the air. "I'm tired of this game, Gabriel! Just give them back to me! Please!"

"I can't," I heard him but I couldn't see him. "Your lesson doesn't end that way."

"I don't care about a goddamn lesson," I snapped. "I want a second chance. To do what I should've! To save them! Why are you making me go through this crap?"

Gabriel didn't respond.

I stormed down the hallway. I was hoping to reach a staircase. Enough of this game. I wanted to go back and hide in my car again. To hunt until I couldn't think about my pain anymore.

There was only one door in the hallway. Gabriel wasn't going to let me leave.

I sighed, but picked up my hand, knocking lightly. The door disappeared in front of me. (Y/n) was standing on the other side of the threshold. However, I couldn't step through to see them. Something stopped me.

"Stay where you are," (Y/n) was singing as I tried to force my way in. "Don't come too close and don't go too far."

"(Y/n)," I said, hitting the barrier.

"I'll make you count to 100 so I have a good chance to hide, don't expect me to play fair," they grinned at me. They were still crying.

I couldn't do anything more than stand there and watch them. I knew in my stomach that (Y/n) was aware. Not a vision summoned by Gabriel... but the one who asked Gabriel to help.

I didn't care at that point. It just meant I had a shot to get them back.

I pressed my hands to the barrier. Just let me in. Come back. Please,

"If I could just find the right words to say, would you stay right there," I nodded at (Y/n)'s words. "I like you right there..."

I looked behind (Y/n). Something was forming behind her. I furrowed my eyebrows. What the hell?

As the cloud of smoke took on the form of a person, I started hitting the barrier again. No, no, no.

Then, a face. Zachariah. I was going to have to watch (Y/n) die all over again.

"No, no," I yelled. "Please, no! Not again! Please!"

"Stay where you are... safe in a frame... Try to move closer, you'll only get halfway," I continued pushing, but looked (Y/n) in the eyes. Shaking, crying, but not moving or running. Accepting their ending. "Pin down your heart, put out the flame... Don't come any closer, but don't move away!"

I slowly stop fighting. It was pointless.

"Stay," I sang with them again. "Stay..."

My knees gave out as the angel blade went through (Y/n)'s heart again. I fell as they did.

"No," I mumbled.

I don't know how long I sat there, waiting and hoping for (Y/n) to wake up. It felt like an eternity.

"Dean-"

"That's your lesson," I cut Gabriel off, standing up, shoving him into the far wall. "That I couldn't save them anyway!"

"No," Gabriel replied. "Have you wondered why (Y/n) was able to ask me for a favor at all?"

I froze.

I knew. I just didn't want to say it.

"You can't cling to (Y/n), Dean," the archangel explained. "You can remember them. Honor them. But holding them on Earth is selfish. (Y/n) wants you to be able to accept what happened and keep going."

"H-How," I asked. "How am I supposed to keep going?"

"You figure it out. I can't give you a perfect answer because there isn't one."

I stepped back.

Gabriel disappeared and I was on the front steps of an apartment. (Y/n) was standing on the step above me. They leaned down, kissing me softly. A goodbye kiss. Like any couple would share when leaving each other.

I tried to follow (Y/n)'s lips. They stopped me.

"Don't kiss me goodbye again," (Y/n) walked us down the steps as they sang. "Leave this night clean and quiet... You want the last word, you want me to laugh. Believe it for now."

I couldn't help but grin. I followed (Y/n) down the road, enjoying the time I got with them. Slow steps, calm feeling.

"And goodbye until tomorrow... goodbye until the next time you call... and I will be waiting, I will be waiting," (Y/n) didn't seem panicked or hurt... just content. "Goodbye until tomorrow... Goodbye till I recall how to breathe and I have been waiting... I have been waiting for you!"

As (Y/n) moved to the end of their part, we slowed down our steps. They turned to face me.

"I have been waiting... I have been waiting for you," (Y/n)'s voice got softer. "Waiting for you.... waiting for you..."

I sighed, looking down for a moment, "I called Elise to help me pack my bags... I went downtown and closed the bank account..."

I closed my eyes as I continued.

Slowly, I looked up to face them again. I can't avoid this anymore.

"I'm not the only one who's hurting here... I don't know what the hell is left to do... You never saw how far the crack had opened... You never knew I had run out of rope and... I could never rescue you. All you ever wanted. But I could never rescue you, no matter how I tried. All I could do was love you hard... And let you go."

I let out a sob. It hurt but I had to keep going. My hunt wasn't over yet.

"No matter how I tried... All I could do was love you- God, I loved you so... So we could fight, or we could wait, or I could go..."

"Goodbye until tomorrow," (Y/n) joined in, letting me fade off. "Goodbye, until I crawl to your door! And I will be waiting... I will be waiting..."

I cupped the sides of (Y/n)'s face. One last time. I just needed to study (Y/n)'s face one last time.

"Goodbye until tomorrow," (Y/n) continued, though shakier as they started crying too. "Goodbye until I'm done thanking God... for I have been waiting... I have been waiting for you... I have been waiting!"

"Goodbye, (Y/n)," my voice came out in more gasps than anything.

"I will keep waiting... I will keep waiting for you," (Y/n) placed their hand over their heart.

I let myself step backward. I watched (Y/n) the whole time, who grinned at me through all the tears falling.

"Just close the gate...," (Y/n) continued as light slowly surrounded me. "I'll stand and wait... Dean..."

"Goodbye..." we both sang together.

I closed my eyes as the light became too bright for me to look at.

When I opened them again, I was back in the motel parking lot, right where I was when Gabriel showed up.

I knew what I had to do.

Without a second thought, I jumped into the driver's seat of Baby and started driving. I found a spot outside of town. Pretty view and no people. (Y/n) would've loved it.

I reached into the glove department, grabbing the box that held what was supposed to be (Y/n)'s ring.

I grabbed some lighter fluid, a lighter, and a bowl out of the trunk of Baby and walked to the most open spot I could.

I placed the box in the bowl and sprayed in some lighter fluid on top.

I froze with the lighter.

"Thank you," I said. "You made me feel a lifetime of love in a matter of years. I won't forget you, (Y/n), you made me see myself as so much more than a perfect soldier or a hunter. I felt like a human with you. I could experience the parts of life that I wasn't supposed to get. I... I love you so much. I won't force you to stay, but everything I do will be for you."

I heard it. A quiet mumble of "I love you too". Then, I felt a light kiss on my cheek.

I flicked the lighter and dropped it into the bowl.

"Goodbye," I mumbled to the fire. "Wait for me."

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#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

94 notes · View notes

mlobsters · 5 months

Text

supernatural s12e5 the one you've been waiting for (w. meredith glynn)

thule society nazis in the recap, oh boy. my fave. remember nothing of this episode (8x13 apparently). though i do remember neck stabbing a nazi to non je ne regrette rien (but i think that was a different nazi stabbing episode??? 11x14). ps totally thought rien was laugh because ríen in spanish is "they laugh". sometimes similar words between french and spanish are the same! sometimes not :P i don't regret anything not quite the vibe of i don't regret laughing lol

DEAN I'm gonna stop you right there, okay? Look, Mom needed her space, and I told you I'm cool with it. SAM But are you really?

so here for sam continuing to poke dean about this. dean should retaliate by making sam deal with something

SAM Uh, rich people like antiquing. I don't know. DEAN I say we check it out. SAM Uh… (Sighs) All right. In the meantime, you sure you don't wanna talk about – DEAN No. SAM Dean, it's called sublimation. DEAN Yeah. Yeah, it's kinda my thing.

i had to look it up because i was thinking of the science thing but psychologytoday.com says:

Why is sublimation a mature defense? Sublimation is considered a successful defense mechanism because it often leads to positive outcomes—and outcomes that are often better than the alternative. For example, let’s say a man going through a divorce emotes by destroying his ex-wife’s property or lashing out at his son. In the case of sublimation, on the other hand, the man may channel his energy into an important project at work. Even though sublimation is a more productive defense than others, it’s still healthy to fully confront and process the underlying emotions involved.

look at that, it's a mature defense mechanism! something something processing emotions too. details details

miracles of miracles they turned on the lights instead of continuing to poke around in the dark with flashlights (xfiles was very silly about that too, kind of a trope of the genre i suppose. drama!)

hi localhost loopback webmail. that is a very nice little fake email screen though. and peekaboo sam in the mirror

finally someone reacting appropriately to overhearing one of their conversations 😂

keep trying to figure out if nazi boy here just has a bad cut/style/color or it's a wig. this is why i don't remember these episodes. could not care less

send in sam to talk to the girl, they can bond over being vessels for pure evil! lol she called bullshit on sam's lucifer vessel story, very reasonable

neverending fight scene.

ok same kid and now it looks like it is his hair. maybe that was a reshoot or something?

i guess british mol villains not enough cartoon evil, bring in nazi thule whatever douchebag his dad is

haha WAIT! i know this diner LOL. i used it for my archivist painting! and in the process of doing that i was checking the outside views too. i think this is the same clip in fact, just darkened to look like night. did they forget to get an exterior shot of something? now i wonder how often they do this. only reason i recognized it was because i'd spent hours staring at pictures for that painting

s1e20 dead man's blood

s1e20 / s12e5

that is so funny. looks like they took out the searchlight from the car too. babies

sam's reaction to nazi defector boy sliding in is cracking me up. kid's hair back to looking strange. maybe it's the color? it just doesn't look right on his head

mentioning again how great his hair is looking this season! what a turnaround. clearly should tag for me rambling about his hair, like the sideburns. looking at the search for hair on my posts, i talk about everyone's hair. a lot lol (best hair, claire by a mile. ugh. so gorgeous). sigh, back to nazis

i had some weird light golden brown hair for a minute when i was using an old box of dye and i was sick of fighting the white hair. kind of looks like that. also, what were they eating? chocolate pie? cheesecake? cake? stallllling

EXCUSE ME WHAT. wheezing

the matrix (1999) / the magicians s1e4 the world within the walls

reminds me of a cross between the matrix bug and the little gold scorpion thingamajig in the magicians. but way goofier

oki doke

kinda feels like this whole episode was an excuse to get sam to say this. and for the mood pick-me-up of getting to kill hitler for dean

DEAN You know, I was thinkin'… we passed a bakery on the way into town. Sign said, “Best pie for a thousand miles”. SAM So now you want pie? DEAN I killed Hitler. I think I deserve some pie. Did I mention I killed Hitler? SAM I'm never gonna hear the end of this, am I? DEAN Probably not.

very cute

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 12x05 #spn 1x20 #meredith glynn #sam's hair

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autisticandroids · 3 years

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anyway ok so lets talk about ruby SPECIFICALLY in my good s6 au. this ruby concept is almost the same as @lesbiansamwinchester‘s ruby lives au but has some key differences, mainly ruby doesn’t redeem herself in s5. lucifer raises her in sympathy for the devil because she really was the best of those sons of bitches and she deserves it but she spends all of s5 conflicted in her loyalties because while she really DOES want lucifer to win she is also In Love With Sam, Unfortunately, and gets more and more uncomfortable with sam being lucifer’s vessel and shit. and then she finally betrays lucifer in like, two minutes to midnight or swan song and he IMMEDIATELY kills her (very important: lucifer must already be possessing sam when this happens). then she’s brought back like. face down in a ditch 300 miles away. that’s how ruby ends season five.

anyway watch this video to set the mood. ruby stuff in season six:

- so at FIRST she is actually running around with a ragtag group of lucifer loyalist demons led by meg. meg kind of hates her for betraying lucifer for sam but also you know sam’s dead and ruby won’t do it again and most importantly they need EVERY pair of hands on board for this. so ruby is kissing huge amounts of ass mostly meg’s, like, meg is making her wait on her hand and foot in an apron. it’s comically villain homoerotic. you know. like ruby serves meg tea in a maid outfit for no other reason then as like. ridiculous humiliation that’s also intensely, weirdly horny. like the lucifer crowley dog stuff in s11. actually meg literally makes ruby wear a dog collar with a little tag that says like, “ruby. if found, please call 666 and return to owner (meg).” i cannot stress enough that this is just STUPID horny for NO reason. you guys know what i mean. it’s basically sorority hazing but up to eleven because demons, and also forever. also meg makes ruby kiss her hand at least once. or like no she makes her kiss her boot. i am having too much fun i’ve gotten distracted.

- ruby finds out sam is alive and immediately ditches. like she just fucks off to nowhere and they can’t figure out where she went. anyway this samruby reunion takes place like, before the first episode definitely, maybe a few months.

- i do like @lesbiansamwinchester‘s thing where ruby tries very hard to be sam’s moral compass but also imo she fucks up, very bad, and a lot. and soulless sam can’t really catch her at it so they end up doing a lot of very fucked shit actually. but she tries very hard because she cares about sam and she wants him to think well of himself y’know. and she wants to be someone who sam would think was worth following.

- re: that last point. many thoughts. head full.

- when sam and dean finally see each other again ruby is there and dean is like what the FUCK. like he did see that she betrayed lucifer for sam at the last minute but also he hates her and doesn’t trust her, and he actually kind of suspects that whatever’s wrong with sam might actually be HER fault.

- this post is relevant.

- okay but i’ve decided that the cas/meg kiss DOES in fact happen in this au because i do kind of love it and also more importantly, with the addition of the insane meg being ruby’s shitty ex vibe that i am jamming into this au with both hands, it is just. chefkiss. ruby and dean look at each other in horror while sam is just like huh? i’m sorry but imagine being ruby and being forced to watch your horrible ex get kissed dommily by castiel. god this is funny i love this. again this is all in subtext because we are imagining cw censors and i’ve used up my one allotted gay kiss for the season by having anna make out with a random woman at an orgy to prove that all angels are degenerate pansexual hedonists, you know. (is this homophobic enough for the cw? i hope so!) also: an orgy which balthazar organized and cas refused to attend, to be clear.

- dean is actually garbage enough about the whole ruby thing that sam and ruby fuck off by themselves for a good while like, maybe three or four episodes, leaving dean alone or sometimes with cas. during this time dean gets a little bit involved with the angel revolutionaries.

- anyway when sam gets his soul back he’s like, torn, between dean and ruby. he feels guilty for how he behaved towards and thought about dean but he would ALSO feel guilty just kicking ruby to the curb.

- HOWEVER when he gets his soulless memories back he does kick her to the curb because she has done some REALLY fucked up shit while trying to be his moral compass like she is BAD at it.

- once ruby is left all alone in the world, guess who shows up in a flutter of wings and ambiguity! it’s anna!

- she is here to ask ruby if she wants to spy on hell for the angel revolution. ruby accepts because everyone else hates her right now. if anna wants to take her in under cas’ banner (and not tell the winchesters because they’re technically on the same side but what’s a little subterfuge between friends) ruby will take it.

- ruby and anna DO get to have some fun agent runner/agent lesbian subtext, as a treat! at least when anna isn’t busy eating food out of lisa braeden’s fridge like villanelle and other nuts things.

- like i do wanna be clear anna just. appears in lisa braeden’s kitchen, slowly, wordlessly eats her leftovers while staring her down, and then flies away. this contributes to lisa’s impending mental breakdown. MY season six is about the madness of the suburban housewife, among many other various things.

- also i want to be clear that raphael’s side is actually like, funneling weapons to the lucifer loyalist demons to try and get them to defeat crowley but it’s all very hush hush, like, raphael would NOT want his underlings to know that he has organized this, like, they can barely stand to work with naomi. the fact that raphael had naomi organize help for DEMONS is unthinkable. anyway it’s basically celestial iran-contra.

- ruby is actually one of the last people to stick by cas even when like, anna and balthazar are betraying him, because like. whomst among us has never wanted to become god a little. and also, ruby is weak to authority figures we KNOW this she might be down to accept cas as her heavenly father a little, she’s NOT a rebel. but most importantly she sticks by him because, you know, i love sam and he’s mad at me for kinda betraying him and you [REDACTED] dean and he’s mad at you for kinda betraying him like we’re all winchester derangement syndrome patients here, and also like. i get it. sometimes they don’t know what’s good for them. sometimes in order to love you have to betray a little bit.

- ruby doesn’t turn on cas until he breaks sam’s wall. but by then it’s too late and there’s nothing she can do really.

- the parallel where it was dean who stabbed ruby in lucifer rising and it’s sam who stabs cas in the man who knew too much is actually intentional this time and WAY more aggressive. actually there are tons of cas-ruby parallels. i think meg should call ruby a whore like one episode before crowley calls cas a whore just to hammer it home. i think the thing where soulless sam runs away from dean’s judgement and is running around with ruby while dean is sulking about it but also running around with cas is super aggressively obvious. god i love that ruby’s existence makes it super obvious that cas is dean’s [REDACTED]. that’s so fun.

- this has been an intensely hypertextual romp and it’s apparently nearly fifteen hundred words, good god. anyway, special thanks to @lesbiansamwinchester, @pietacastiel, and @seragamble, all of whom brainstormed with me

#spn #good s6 au

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hawkland · 3 years

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(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k) - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas.

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!

#fic recs #my fic recs #destiel recs #destiel #deancas recs #my destiel recs

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americachavez · 3 years

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did cas really tell dean to kneel before their new god? did that actually happen? i thought him beating the shit out of dean in that alley was the most unrestrainedly horny thing this show had ever done ACTUALLY you know what scratch that new question: top horny moments from the cw's supernatural (2005 - 2020)

getting this ask feels like my sins of the last week have been weighed against the Trials I Have Gone Through since the premier of supernatural on the wb in september of 2005 and I’m not sure if it is a punishment or reward

some notes before we begin:

the ep with dean’s male siren was like, conceptually horny but not actually that horny because the dude was uglie. I’m sorry to this man

all you sam girls out there. I respect you but I do not respect jared padalecki who is JUST tall and has zero sex appeal. but those eps where he’s like, drinking ruby’s blood and then eating her pussy are. you know. I’ll give you that

I am ONLY UP TO SEASON 10 so fair warning this is not comprehensive but the horniness does seem to drop off sharply after the mark of cain is no longer in play lol gotta love a good demon murder tattoo plot

this is easily the most insane thing I’ve ever done, including the destiel manifesto

S1 EP12: the scene where dean gets healed by the faith healer, on his knees with a hand in his hair and looking somewhere between religious ecstasy, brain death and an orgasm. starting this list off great

S1 EP22: azazel possessing john winchester. no I will not explain further if u know u know <3

S3 EP10: dean being taunted by a dream version of himself, this is where we first got the daddy’s blunt little instrument line. still burned in my hippocampus a good 13 years later thank yew

S4 EP1: dean crawling out of his own grave covered in grave dirt. hot. the HANDPRINT. HOT. also tangent but this reveal after the s3 finale was WILD back in 2008 I hollered in my dorm room after canvassing for obama. simpler times man

S4 EP 1: cas’ intro scene. the barn. the shadow wings. the hair??? getting stabbed in the chest by the man you just pulled out of hell. getting aaaallll up in that personal space. his little eyebrow. “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.” OUTRAGEOUSLY FLAMING

S4 EP02: “I dragged you out of hell I can throw you back in.” <<< this angel tops. mark dean down as scared and horny etc

S4 EP16: this ENTIRE EPISODE but specifically the part where dean tortures alastair as some kind of foreplay and then alastair kicks his ass. carved you into a new animal. jesus.

S4 EP16: wait I forgot about the part where cas also gets his ass kicked and looks all....hm. dazed and covered in blood while he’s on his knees and about to die. yeah.

S5 EP4: I mean this entire ep is unfairly horny considering everyone is dying of a zombie plague and hasn’t showered in like, 4 years but if I had to pick one hmmm. the dean/dean interrogation scene with the panty kink yeah I know it’s not original but hm. it happened. also misha collins just being able to convey that CAS IS A FLEXIBLE SLUT with a single roll of his shoulders. who SAYS this man can’t act!!!!!

S5 EP18: the ALLEY SCENE. DEAN DOESN’T FIGHT BACK. CAS HOLDS HIM UP OFF THE GROUND AND THEN THROWS HIM ACROSS THE ALLEY. WHY DID EVERYONE THINK CAS COULDN’T TOP. you all had brainworms.

S5 EP18: when cas locks dean in the panic room to stop him from saying yes to michael and “well cas not for nothing but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” I hate this show. wait I think the blow me cas line is in this episode too what the fuck were they on here

S6 EP5: the scene where dean gets turned into a vampire. between the old dude who I think calls dean a pretty boy (??) and soulless sam....watching??? no ******* but there were just some absolutely foul energies in that scene and I still do not understand WHAT they were thinking

S6 EP20: cas doing a double smite on two demons by slamming them to the ground and then shoving another demon back in its vessel and then smiting him in the same motion. TOP. ENERGY.

S6 EP22: season 6 is possibly cas’ horniest season because he’s like, going through angel puberty after getting his first boner for dean, but the final cas eps are. whoof. cas eats a bunch of souls and proclaims himself to be a new god in order to handle said boner, and then the season ends with cas telling them to bow down and profess their love to him, their new lord, or he will destroy them. note: the way this is framed makes it look like cas is only staring at dean while he says this, even though sam and bobby are also there. the season ends with dramatic zooms on both cas and dean’s faces respectively. this made me actively regret ditching this show after s5 lol

S8 EP??: literally EVERY SINGLE PURGATORY FLASHBACK. cas dean and benny are all purgatory hot in the “pop 10 cranberry pills and risk the UTI” kind of way but also. dean being the hot girl bottom between two tops who hate each other. I really. whew. I need to go take a shower.

S8 EP17: if I get canceled for including the crypt scene on this list I blame you bud. but dean on his knees begging a brainwashed cas to stop killing him WAS sexy. how many times has dean been on his knees in this list wait there’s another one coming up next jsldjfsldkjf

S9 EP2: abaddon getting dean on his knees (YEAH) and pulling his hair and praising him for always coming when called HELLO???? the only thing that ruins this is dean says “I can’t tell if we’re gonna fight or make out” because this is the CW and they won’t let him say fuck

S9 EP6: ah. this entire episode is Emotionally Horny but the horny horny part is when they’re in the car and dean is telling cas to unbutton his shirt and. watches. I know this was on my destiel manifesto but I need it here too

S9 EP9: cas, covered in blood, slitting another angel’s throat and eating his grace after getting tortured. that shot alone made me understand why this website was so goddamn horny for misha collins for nearly a damn decade

S9 EP11: MARK OF CAIN BABEY. cain watching dean beat up a bunch of demons as an audition for taking on the mark, while crowley also is a fucking voyeur to the whole thing. cain is also a hot silver fox with daddy energies. I said what I said

S9 EP 16: dean getting the first blade. he’s chained to a pillar and being menaced by a foppish dandy who wants to add him to his “collection” (WOW). dean then kills him with the blade and whew. murder is sexy sometimes

S9 EP21: dean being pinned against a wall by abaddon’s power, then using the mark of cain to break her hold, calling the first blade to him psychically and then killing her. god the mark of cain is hot

S9 EP23: dean waking up with the demon eyes NUT

S10 EP2: demon dean beating up that dude with the boring backstory and kicking his ass. really was a go on baby I got your flower moment because I hated that dude and I love demon dean

S10 EP3: demon dean being chained up and taunting sam about how his brother is gone, then hunting sam through the bunker. demon dean in general was VERY fun for me, someone who loves trash

S10 EP9: dean going berserk and killing a bunch of pedophile rapists/child abusers. I’m sorry I know this show is trying to preach morality at me about monsters and unnecessary murder and humanity or whatever but we blew past that like 8 SEASONS AGO. also the mark of cain is sexy

S10 EP14: the rest of this list is really gonna be mark of cain stuff isn’t it look I’m here to have fun. cain and dean’s fight. cain continuously tossing his mane of hair back and taunting dean with the picture of what he’s going to become, who he’s going to kill. dean begging cain to tell him that he can stop, and then ultimately killing him. rip daddy.

S11 EP4: again I have not watched this however. every shot of this episode is PRESTIGE TELEVISION because driving a muscle car is sexy. and especially the shot of dean all beat to hell and begging his car to start and giving her a little kiss from his fingers to her dash. ugh. masculinity.

S12 EP10: the bearded salt-and-pepper daddy look returns, only it’s an angel this time and he’s wearing a vest and shirtsleeves and he swordfights with a hot redheaded lady in a suit and an eyepatch. this show is good sometimes!!! and oh fuck lol I just realized this is the same guy who played krissy’s hot hunter dad in s7 probably the first guy who’s hotter as an angel than a hunter. huh.

S12 EP 11: dean riding larry the mechanical bull to “broomstick cowboy.” I have no idea where this factors into the ep but I have seen. the youtube clip

S13 EP23: from what I can tell s13 is way more emotionally horny than boner horny, although dean burning cas’ body was sexy. but the horniest part was dean saying yes to michael and then michael taking over and saying “thanks for the suit.” we are going to ignore the silliest fight scene in existence as well as the final shot ending on a FREEZE FRAME like a goddamn tiktok

S14: not gonna pick a specific moment because I have not watched yet!!! but michael dean is hot. idk why michael is weirdly hot and I cannot stand any iteration of lucifer on this television programme. it should be the reverse but I’m forever an older sibling stan apparently. someone who is catholic could probably explain this better.

S15 EP13: genevieve padalecki and danneel ackles fight flirting as ruby and anael I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY HELD OUT ON THIS TILL THE LAST SEASON

I know I am missing things but this is already an absolutely incomprehensible screed. I know I’m missing shit from the latter seasons but give me time I’m pacing myself

#reply tag #spn tag #literally no one read this lol this is insane #Anonymous

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