wife gone … now i’m being roped into home improvements

i just need to vent real quick about how i just had to put $1.5k into my car for repairs (my shit car that’s apparently only worth like 5k so what am i even doing anymore), it’s impossible to get the medicine my cat needs for some unknown stupid fucking reason and i’ve had to run around to 6 pharmacies to refill the script, the toilet in our one bathroom has been broken and our maintenance people keep fucking it up even more every time they try to fix it…they keep coming in during my meetings and my boss acts like i’ve killed a man every time someone walks behind me. fuck off. i’ve been hating my job so much lately but i’m too chicken shit to stop making 6 figures as a corporate sellout and pursue something i might actually fucking enjoy and be poor again. every single time i have to write someone up or make another training about some useless bullshit i die a little inside. my feet are fucked up because i got healthier and lost weight when i started to commit to ED recovery and have been way more active in general (fucking. so stupid. i get why but how fucking dumb is that), i need to get my fucking tonsils out, my grandma is dying and i’m refusing to think about that and this might be the last time i see her but i feel too numb to process it. i need a hug. i need to talk about what i want but every time i try it just sounds too fucking selfish. i’m flying to nyc on friday for a surprise party for my mom’s 60th that 1) i don’t even want to go to 2) i planned all by myself, because my father and sister are useless, even though i told them like 5 times in the past 6 months that i don’t have the time or energy to plan something for her but - here i am - 3 days before her party, talking to vendors and finalizing shit and doing everything by myself, sinking my time and money into something my mom probably won’t even appreciate, all because her stupid fuck ass husband can’t do a fucking thing for her for once in his stupid fucking life because he’s been babied and enabled by her for 30 years and can’t even make one single phone call because it’s too much for him. grow up. the worst part is i will be taking care of all of them - forever - unless i learn how to set boundaries - but i can’t even do that because they will threaten me and guilt me until the end of time. and maybe i’m the one who needs to grow up, actually

Zoom meetings with the kids w/ Kuroo, Akaashi and Sakusa

Request: I have been stuck inside the house with my three year old brother for the last three weeks and he keeps coming inside my room and entering the zoom call with me. So that had me thinking. How would our favorite Haikyuu dads Kuroo, Akaashi, maybe Kenma or Sakusa react to their toddlers coming into their room and joining their meeting. - anonymous. 

Awww I love haikyuu dads!!!! I have begun making the smau and I’m already like 3 chapters in but I won’t start posting until I’ve finished it or I’m about to finish it. I wanna be sure that I’ll have a trustworthy upload schedule lmao bc my midterms are coming up next week and I’m dying. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warning: fluff

Kuroo Tetsuro

-He was in a meeting with the firm for the past three hours. 

-He was absolutely exhausted and the only thing he wanted was to take a nap with his two year old daughter. 

-You were still at the hospital, your shift finishing in about two hours so he was basically alone.

-Your daughter was playing with her toys in his office, being as quiet as she could but exhaustion started to win her over little by little. 

-Yawn after yawn left her lips but since the sound was so small and barely above a whisper, Kuroo hadn’t realized that his little princess was tired. 

-Standing up with wobbly legs she grabbed her cat blankie and rubbed her eyes as she slowly made her way to her father. 

-With one arm hugging her blankie and the other wrapping around Kuroo’s leg, she rested her head on his leg and slowly sank down to the floor, not tugging at his pyjama leg as he expected. 

-Looking down at her he didn’t think twice before bending over and bringing her into his lap. 

-She let out a small sigh before she clutched his shirt in her small fists and was off to dreamland in record time. 

- “Kuroo-san what do you think?” 

- “Sorry my daughter distracted me.”

-And with that he went back to his meeting. 

-Throughout the rest of the meeting Kuroo rested a hand on her back, cupping her little head lightly rubbing soothing circles on her skull, staring down at her every now and then a smile adorning his features every time he saw her nuzzling into his chest.

-She was a female version of him now that he thinks of it.

-She had his crazy raven hair and stunning amber eyes while her face structure reminded him of both you and him. 

-Her personality though was all you. 

-He knew she was very young but she reminded him of you when you two first met more and more each day.

-Right at that moment she let out a small yawn again, her eyes opening slightly as she repositioned herself on his lap and went back to sleep. 

-He couldn’t love her more, at least that’s what he believed. 

-Each day she proved him wrong. 

-Saying goodbye to his coworkers he shut off his computer and went to the living room couch, laying down with his little girl in his arms. 

-Giving her one last kiss he fell asleep, a smile still present on his features. 

Akaashi Keiji 

- “The author said that those new chapters need to be edited by the end of the month. He will send you the rest when you are done with these.” 

-His eyes were bloodshot from the endless hours he had been staring at his screen. 

-Rubbing his eyes he answered every single question that was thrown at him, wishing that this one would be the last one. 

-But the universe wouldn’t have it that way for poor Akaashi making him stay up late again. 

-Thunder rumbled from outside and he wondered whether or not you had taken your son to bed with you. 

-The four year old boy was terrified of storms from a young age, always looking for comfort in either you or Akaashi. 

-But ever since his sister was born he pulled away from you two, he didn’t ask for help anymore even when he needed it and he didn’t wake you up during the night when he had a nightmare.

-Akaashi was amazed to say the least. 

-Neither of you had said anything to him about how your attention would mostly be on the baby and you guys had never dismissed his needs because of your little girl. 

-It worried him how fast his son closed in on himself. 

-He was already a shy and quiet kid but now you barely heard his voice and it broke both of your hearts. 

-Akaashi was determined to help him get out of this phase and be by his side but this assignment took up more of his time than he would’ve liked. 

-Light danced across the room as the door slightly opened but no one stepped in. 

-Keiji was about to stand up when he heard little sniffles and the light pitter patter of feet on the carpet of his office. 

-And soon enough his son rounded the corner of his desk, one arm wiping away tears as the other clutched the stuffed owl his uncle Bokuto had bought him. 

-Without losing a beat Keiji pushed his chair back and brought him in his lap, giving a small apology to his boss before momentarily turning off both camera and mic. 

- “I’m sowwy.” 

- “Shh I’m here, nothing’s gonna hurt you.” 

-Giving him a kiss on each cheek Akaashi let him snuggle in his chest, a strong arm supporting the toddler while simultaneously making him feel safe and protected. 

- “Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt but could we end it here? My son had a nightmare and I want to calm him down.” 

- “Of course Akaashi-san, give my regards to the little man. Goodnight.” 

-And with that the meeting was over and Akaashi was left with a crying child in his arms. 

- “Hey hey, I told you that nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here. Why don’t we go sleep with mommy hm?” 

- “I’m sowwy…”

-Akaashi kissed his head again bringing him into a tight hug as he got up from his seat. 

- “There is nothing to be sorry for now come on, mommy would want cuddles.” 

 Sakusa Kiyoomi

- “If we use the new quick that Atsumu and Hinata have been practicing then we would have the upper hand momentarily.”

-Kiyoomi let out a sigh as the meeting he had with the team would not seem to end. 

-They had been discussing tactics for the last hour and a half while the rest of the time they had been informed of the new managers they had been assigned. 

-Kiyoomi never expected to be in a zoom call while being an athlete.

-He thought that it would be useless. 

-What were they even gonna do while in the meeting? Practice? 

-But he was proven wrong once the coach called the first meeting and now Sakusa was ready to pull his hair out. 

-Thankfully he was just laying in bed so at least he was comfortable. 

-You had gone out for some much needed grocery shopping leaving Kiyoomi with his son, not wanting to take your child outside with the virus contaminating people left and right. 

-Sakusa loved spending time with his son. 

-He was a low maintenance child, just like he was when he was young, adopting the same hygiene patterns as his father even at the early age of two. 

-He had just started talking and you wouldn't stop having conversations with him, the baby only uttering a simply “dada” or “momma” or even maybe a “yes” or “no” if you were lucky. 

-It made you happy though, seeing your son slowly becoming more independent. 

-Sakusa was also happy but he was also reminded that he wouldn’t stay this young forever; before he knew it his son would be off to high school or college and he wouldn’t fit in his arms anymore. 

-Lost in thought Kiyoomi hadn’t seen the toddler make his way into the room until he felt the covers being pulled as he attempted to get on the bed *and failed bc he’s just too short*

-Letting out a chuckle Sakusa pushed his laptop to the side and leaned down to grab his son, who was now pouting an expression that was a little too similar to yours. 

- “Is that mini Sakusa I see?” 

-Kiyoomi ignored Atsumu as he settled his son on his lap letting the baby wave at the camera as his “uncles” waved back. 

- “Do you mind if he joins?” 

- “Of course not, every Sakusa is welcome.”

-Giving his son one last kiss on his head, Kiyoomi went back to listening to the boring tactics letting his son play with his fingers in the process. 

-Okay maybe it wasn’t that bad now 

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @letscheereachotheron​ @ezoyscorner​ @storage11037​ @wolfkid22

Spoilers for Obi-Wan Kenobi part I

Ok let’s go

Yeah, let’s put in a recap just in case the Prequel Trilogy doesn’t haunt you

“Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi,”

featured in “the top ten sentences that break my heart”

So Hayden being hyped for this was just preparing me for how this is All About Anakin Again

God they were both so hot in RotS

Pun non intended for once

HAAAAA LETS GO

show Order 66 as many time as possible challenge

Yeah those kids are dead

Bye kids

SAND TITLE CARD you’re so sexy

Wait i have a great idea: every opening should be another Order 66 scene i want to see all over that Temple as it falls down

SPACE SHIP SHADOW my beloved

Idk why space ships, especially big ones, make me incredibly excited and a not insignificant part of why I’m a fan of this franchise comes from the fuck you big ships it has. Yes i did like the Last Jedi a lot. ‘cause it had the biggest ship.

Inquisitor Squad! I spent like 2 hours earning them all in GoH a couple weeks ago now I’m gonna see if their attacks are accurate lmao

Another reason why I’m a fan of star wars is that the villains know how to dress

Yeah my dudes, you get why the dark side is fun

“You know who we are.”

“Yeah bro, you’re all dressed like an evil elite force and not the ones wearing red.”

Hehehehe evil monologue let’s go

LOL

THIS FIXATION WITH KENOBI WELCOME TO THE CLUB THIRD SISTER

What is that.

I don’t wanna say Krayt because i don’t know much about them besides that they’re dragons on tatooine and at least some of them are black but Krayt? 👀 (please it’s important to me because of themes)

ARE THEY PROCESSING IT

That meat looks good tho

HE’S HERE

HELLO THERE

OH I MISSED YOU SO

you look good with a knife ngl

scratch that he just looks good in general oh my god i need to find a pirate version of this i want to take all the screenshots

The Obi-Wan Show Episode1: Obi-Wan starts an union

Meat Wars reborn but this time it’s Meat Workers War

No i not will elaborate, know your crack

He’s so beautiful i missed him so much i wanna die

@forcearama i know your pain

SAD MAN IN A CAVE TIME

SMELLY MAN IN A CAVE 😂

Jawas are the best actually. Love how they talk.

They sound like sped up anime characters

“I’ve heard the Jedi are all but extinct.

Courtesy of my best friend.”

Anakin is so bad for business.

Welcome to the stinky wizard club Obes.

He’s still dreaming about him 10 years later no one touches me.

*makes miserable noise at Anakin laughing in the speeder and then the i hate you*

LISTEN

I KNOW ALL THAT ALREADY

WHY IS IT HITTING ME SO HARD

Part of me is like “answer the phone Qui-Gon” the other is like “no that’s good i don’t want to see him anyway and also Obi-Wan needs to be alone and miserable because i love angst”.

Baby Luke!

Oh that’s hitting him hard

*claps gleefully* yes more pain

It’s like he’s paying for child maintenance after his divorce

Oooooh he called him master of course he knew him everyone knew him

“You were once a great Jedi”

Yeah 😭

Is that Alderaan?

Yes!

Tiny Leia!

“Try to not make anyone cry”

lmao that’s daddy Vader’s girl

And that is Anakin and Padmé’s girl <3

Do they have binary classes or did she just learn to interpret by having a droid around from a young age

I’ve got to read up on that it’s important for fanfic reasons

Leia and Lola

Don’t give promises you can’t keep babygirl

You know when we used to talk about a Kenobi movie all i wanted from it was seeing Obi-Wan be sad in the desert and today I’m being finally fed.

Owen vs Ben

“Like you trained his father? Anakin is dead, Ben. I won’t let you make the same mistake twice.”

Might as well stab him in the heart it would hurt less.

Cut off hand count: 1

Is Reva’s Force sense tingling?

Hate to break it to you Reva but Owen’s not dying for nine more years.

Today in Everyone Hates Tatooine

Today in Everyone Wants Obi-Wan

What did he do to her lol

“What I’m owed.”

Like what? Revenge? (Cause her name is Reva) Loads of credits? A promotion? Darth Vader’s attention?

“I didn’t do it for you.”

I knew you would say that you dumb fucking farmer (affectionate) guess what he was probably not saying thank you for himself either

“I didn’t come here to end slavery”,

said most people in Star Wars.

“Then i guess i don’t need manners when I’m talking to you” nice burn.

“You’re not even a real Organa” nah she’s a Skywalker, which is worse

She’s reading your mind cuz

“You have to rise above Leia”

wait til the third trilogy she’ll rise alright

She’s so dramatic i love her

I wonder if her cousin gets blown up with the planet

See, promises she can’t keep

“I know who she’s like”

me too

Bounty hunters?

Who you gonna call?

He’s our only hoe after all 😌

“I’m not who i used to be”

why, because you lost your sparring partner?

Great now i have to go and look up the travel time between Alderaan and Tatooine to know how long it takes for Bail to arrive

Yeah it’s something like 4 days give or take

“You couldn’t save Anakin”

here’s your daily reminder

“There is no one i trust more with my child than you”

hey that’s a sentence I’m sensitive about

Funny how it doesn’t hit the same at all tho 🙃

Ewan has really pretty eyes

A whole army no but I’ll do you one better

Is he

IS HE

digging for his lightsaber?

Did he find it by pinging the kyber?

Oh man i keep pausing on shots of Ewan looking hot that’s not good for my psyche

I’m going to have so much fun drawing him in something else than beige.

I mean come on he has LEATHER GLOVES i love drawing that shit

Ah shit no he was digging for his Jedi robes i hate this show

Bro do you actually wanna get arrested

They really do be hunting themselves

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn���t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway

Come and Find Me Chapter 4: The Andrew Curtis Case

Guys I am so sorry this took so long. On top of school kicking my ass, I had to rewrite and reedit this chapter several times until I got to one that I deemed worthy. I am going to try and post Chapter Five early for you guys if I can. 

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Violence, Rape, Abuse

Masterlist 

Spencer glanced around the room at all the police officers assembled. He cleared his throat. 

“The Unsub is a white male in his late 20s to mid-30s. He is a man with an average build and a friendly face, someone who women would not pose as a threat.”

“Since there were no signs of forced entry, we believe he’s posing as someone who women would let into their house. Classic cases of this include maintenance men there to check up on things, someone who needs help after their car broke down, or a similar case like that.” Emily explained. “This is a man who fakes confidence, but in reality views himself as inadequate in some way, he knows he can’t fight off another man, so he chooses women who live alone and are essentially defenseless.” 

“Yet, he hates that they are successful enough to support themselves or that they have any sort of power.” Morgan chimed in.

“He clearly was cheated on or had some sort of marital issue that caused him to spiral into this spree. He is a sexual sadist projecting his partner onto the women he attacks, that’s why he chokes them, watching the life drain from their eyes sparks something in him and gives him a sense of power. That is also why he rapes his victims, he loves the idea that he is all powerful and they are helpless.” Hotch explained. 

Spencer swallowed, “Comparing his last four victims it seems his type is 20-30 year old females with (Y/C/H) and (Y/C/E).” 

Which coincidentally looks like the love of my life. Spencer thought, repressing a shudder.

________________________________________________________________

Spencer starred in shock at the scene around him. He was just finishing up the geographical profile, when they had received a call about yet another body. 

Her empty bulking eyes stared up at the ceiling, her body was beaten, cut, and bruised. 

“Strangulation marks on her neck, multiple stab wounds and injuries, this looks like our unsub.” Emily resisted the urge to shudder. 

“Man, whoever cheated on this guy, must have really broken him.” Morgan mused, looking around at the bloody scribblings on the wall. 

Spencer knew that if they tested the blood on the wall, it would match the victims. He looked at the frames on the wall, trying to ignore the blood that seemed to coat everything. The victim had her diploma hung up and multiple pictures of her smiling with family or friends. Spencer stared hard at the name on the diploma; Adria Winston.

It scared Spencer how easily he could see you in this woman’s place. Injured, dying, pleading for him, for anyone to save you-

“Reid. Reid, are you alright?” Morgan clapped a hand on Spencer's shoulder, drawing him back to the present. 

Spencer shook himself out of his dazed state. “Yeah, uh I just need to step out for a second.” He said, pushing past Morgan and making his way outside Adria’s house. He pulled out his phone and dialed your number, it was late, so you would most likely be asleep, but-

You picked up on the third ring. “Hi baby, are you alright?” Spencer bit back a smile at the sleepiness in your voice.

“Not really, but I just really needed to hear your voice. How is Ohio?” Spencer asked, trying to distract himself from what he just saw. You could tell, but you played along with it. 

“Not too bad, whoever designed the Google lounge has nothing on me.” You joked. 

“Well, we already knew that.” Spencer smiled. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe some of the cool stuff I found, I’m telling you if the employees complain about these amazing comfy chairs I got for their break room, I am totally coming back and stealing all 22 of them for my apartment.” You said enthusiastically. “They're perfect for reading in Spence, I’m telling you, you would love them.” 

Spencer let out a little laugh, “I’m sure they are. We will have to see if we can find some, but I don’t think 22 will fit in either of our apartments.” 

“I suppose you’re right” You sighed dramatically, but then took a more serious tone of voice. “Are you alright baby?” 

Spencer’s chest tightened at your worried tone of voice. “There’s a sick selfish part of me that is so glad that you aren’t here (Y/N). All of these girls look so much like you-” Spencer paused, swallowing back tears. “I just am so glad you are safe, I don’t think I could focus as well on this case if I knew you could possibly be in danger.” 

“Aw Spencer, I am so sorry baby. You aren’t sick or selfish for wanting me to be safe, everyone focuses on the safety of those they love, it’s only human. I know you are going to catch this guy, you are the most brilliant man and agent I have ever met. Just don’t tell your team I said that, I don’t want a bad reputation before they even meet me.” You teased, trying to lighten his dark mood. 

Spencer let out a small laugh and sniffled. “Trust me the team is going to love you. We will have to figure out when you can meet them, but I definitely want to wait until things settle down a bit here.” 

There was silence on your end for a second. “Listen Spence, I can stay here a bit longer if it will help you focus, but when I come home I am taking self-defense classes and such. I want you to have a sane mind knowing that your girlfriend actually can handle herself. I honestly think it will help me keep sane too, after hearing everything about this case.” 

Spencer heart skipped a beat, as much as he wanted you safe and sound, he also needed to hold you in his arms to keep his sanity. But ultimately you were the one who should lead your life, not Spencer.  “I appreciate you considering me, but I want the ultimate decision to be made by you Princess, I trust your judgement and I don’t want you living your life based on my fear.” 

You breath caught in your throat at the sentiment. “I love you Spencer Reid.” 

Spencer could have sworn his heart stopped. The two of you hadn’t said I love you yet. Part of him wished it was in person, but just hearing you say it, meant the world to him. “I love you more (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

So help him god, Spencer would catch whoever this unsub was and put him away, so you could come home to a safer city. 

________________________________________________________________

“You know what strikes me as funny?” Emily asked, looking at the crime scene photos. 

The room was silent, waiting to hear what she had to say. 

“Each of these unsubs reported strange gifts and letters being sent to their home. The police had thought it was nothing, but now I am thinking that maybe this could be a connection. I mean think about it, didn’t you guys notice that each victim received a gift box wrapped the exact same way?” 

Morgan nodded. “Yeah they had the white box with the red bow-”

Spencer chimed in, “Red typically symbolizes love and infatuation, but in this case it was the unsub’s warning, red meant war or violence was about to come upon this victim.” 

“Reid and JJ I want you to talk to the officers and get the reports these women filed for harassment, I think we are missing a connection.” Hotch ordered. 

An hour or so later they had that connection.  

“All of the victims received their gifts from a delivery service called ‘Special Delivery.’” JJ explained to everyone. 

“Well it seems we have to pay them a visit.” Hotch said. 

________________________________________________________________

Special Delivery was a small Ma and Pa store, located just a couple blocks from Ava’s coffee shop. Spencer debated on stopping in to check in with her and maybe grab the team coffee. 

Spencer had quickly taken a liking to Ava, not only because he had called him your “sexy superhero boyfriend,” but because she was a reliable friend to you, one who always managed to bring a smile to your face. She reminded Spencer of a more wild Emily, in the best way possible.

Emily stopped outside the storefront window, glancing at the display of chocolates, gift baskets, and jewelry. “Why is it always the cute small places that get ruined? Can’t it be one of those big corporate offices that fuck over their employees instead?” 

Spencer huffed a laugh. 

As they entered the store, the bell let out a delicate twinkle. Causing a silver-streaked brunette to pop out from the back of the store. Her round face held a warm smile as she approached them. 

“Hello dears! What can I do for you?” She asked as she excitedly clasped her hands together.

“Hello Mrs. Ellison, my name is SSA Prentiss and this is Dr. Reid, we had a few questions for you.” Emily said gently, flashing her badge to the woman. 

The woman's smile dimmed a bit, “Oh, uh of course, is everything alright?” 

“Mrs. Ellison I am sure you’ve heard of the recent tragedies-” Emily began, 

“Oh yes, I’ve been keeping up with the news, it’s just dreadful that something so horrible could happen so close to home. You see these things in movies or in other places, but you just never expect them to happen right near you.” Mrs. Ellison said sorrowfully, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Mrs. Ellison, I am afraid everyone of these victims received several deliveries from your shop. Each was wrapped exactly the same, white box, red bow, does this ring any bells for you?” Spencer asked, cutting to the chase. 

“Well dear, it is Valentine season, red, pink, and white are the typical go to colors.” She shrugged. 

“Do you have any regulars? He would have each gift he bought wrapped the exact same way? He would seem friendly, but would be on the quieter side?” Emily asked, attempting to prod the older woman’s memory. 

“I’m afraid none of that is ringing any bells dear, I am so sorry.” Mrs. Ellison said apologetically. 

“Do you have any other employees? Or do you run this place all by yourself?” Spencer asked. 

Mrs. Ellison, let out a small laugh, “Oh goodness me, no. I get so many orders, I could never do it by myself. I previously had three employees, Jess, Remy, and Andrew, but I had to fire Andrew when I found him stealing from our stock. It was a shame too, he was a hardworking boy, but I’m afraid he just fell apart after his wife left him.”

Emily and Spencer exchanged a quick glance. “Do you happen to know why his wife left him?” Spencer asked, his heart picking up speed. 

“Oh it's not my business to share-” Mrs. Ellison hesitated. 

“Please Mrs. Ellison, this could be crucial information.” Emily urged her. 

Mrs. Ellison let out a sigh. “That horrible girl cheated on him. I just couldn’t understand it either, Drew was such a doting gentleman to her, it simply didn’t make sense.” 

“Do you still have his contact information? His address?” 

“Why of course, but you couldn’t possibly think he has anything to do with this-” Mrs. Ellison began, making her way to behind the counter to grab a binder. She looked up worried when Spencer and Emily didn’t answer right away. “Do you?” She urged. 

“It’s quite possible he had nothing to do with it, we just need to follow through with every angle.” Emily quickly explained. 

“Of course.” Mrs. Ellison said, but her hands slightly shook as she opened up her binder to get Andrew’s address. 

________________________________________________________________

“Andrew Curtis, this is the FBI, open up.” Hotch hollered from outside the door. There was no response. Hotch looked to his team to make sure they were ready, then kicked in the door. 

As the team checked different rooms, several calls of “Clear!” echoed throughout the house. Curtis was not there. 

Morgan made his way to the basement and swallowed back a gag. “Hotch! You better come see this.” 

Guns at the ready, Spencer, Hotch, Rossi, and Emily, made their way down to Morgan. 

“What the hell.” Emily huffed as they all beheld the horrific sight before them. 

It was a girl, for sure. She had the same mutilated marks as far as they could tell, but her body was decently decayed. 

“He’s displaying her like a trophy.” Spencer observed. “He props her up naked and makes sure her wounds are fully on display to remind him what he did.”

“There’s more trophies over here.” Rossi said in disgust, gesturing to a shelf full of different valuables. 

“He’s sick.” Morgan hissed. 

“We need a med team down here to remove a body. As soon as it’s IDed we need to know and alert any next of kin.” Hotch ordered into his earpiece. 

Rossi put on a glove and began to go through the other trophies for evidence. “I’ll talk to the victims families and see if any of them recognize these items.” 

Morgan dialed up Garcia. 

“Speak and be heard, the all-knowing goddess listens.” 

“Hey baby girl, I need you to look up any missing person’s reports from around this area. The victim has (y/c/h) and (y/c/e). She fits our victimology to a t, but we need to figure out who she is.”

“I’m on it.” Garcia said. 

“And Garcia,” Hotch said, stopping her before she hung up. “I need you to find a license plate for Andrew Curtis. Also check to see if he rents or owns any other property, he’s currently not at his home and it is too close to other buildings for his victims to not be heard.” 

“You got it. Talk soon.” She said, hanging up. 

About half an hour later Garcia got back to them. “Curtis drives a 2003 silver sedan with the license plate 637-IRT. I also found that he rents a small storage unit that’s a 20 minute drive in a more secluded part of town. I am sending the address to you guys now.” 

“Thanks Garcia.” Hotch said. He turned to JJ “I need you to get an APB on Curtis. I want you to warn the public to keep an eye out for him.” 

JJ nodded and rushed off with her phone. Hotch looked to the rest of the team. “Everyone else, vests on, we are heading to that storage unit.”

________________________________________________________________

“Fuck Drew, what are we going to do?” The boy asked as he looked at the screen projecting a news report on Andrew Curtis.

“Well, it might be the end for me, little brother, but I have you as my legacy. They don’t have a clue that you are even involved, so I need you to get out of here.”

“No, no, no. I am not going to leave you!” The Boy cried, tears streaming down his face. 

Drew huffed a laugh. “Now, now, little bro. It isn’t the time for tears. I’ve taught you everything you need to know. You need to get your girl from that Doctor remember?”

“How am I supposed to do this without you?” The Boy asked, fear filled his voice. 

“Your time will come. You have to be a man about this. You have the skills now and you have our little videos to watch. Your own little tutorial to pluck that girl right out of Dr. Reid’s hands. You need to hide those and hide them well. Promise me you won’t fuck up your chance.” Drew growled. 

The Boy whimpered and Drew smacked him. “Promise me!” He yelled. 

“I promise.” The Boy sobbed, grabbing at his pained cheek.

Drew’s face softened and he gave the boy a smile. “Good, now get out of here legacy and make me proud. I expect to see you on the news someday.” He winked. “You remember our code right?” 

The boy nodded. 

“Then this isn’t the last time we will speak to each other. Now get the fuck out of here, I already fucked with the security footage, so they won’t even know you were here.” Drew explained, pushing the boy out towards the parking lot. 

The Boy’s heart broke as he rushed from his mentor, not only because he knew he would never be able to see Drew in person after this, but because he knew that he would never be able to ruin the 6th victim. The sixth whore that was tied up in the trunk of Drew’s car. 

________________________________________________________________

The girl sobs were muffled by her gag. Drew pulled on her hair harder as he dragged her to the storage unit. He knew he didn’t have much time left, so he might as well let every moment count huh?

The girl’s sobs turned into terrified screams as she beheld the bloodied storage room and the various knives and devices within it. 

“Shut up you stupid bitch.” He growled in her ear.

The girl whimpered something and Drew ripped away her gag. 

“Please.” She begged and Drew simply laughed as he lugged her limp body towards the table in the center of the room.

“Please, just let me go. I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I have a family who cares about me-” She pleaded. 

“Whores don’t have families. Whores have nothing. They just cheat and lie and move onto the next guy. Huh Madelyn?” He growled as he threw her up onto the table.

“My name isn’t Madelyn, please it’s Emily-” The girl sobbed.

“Enough of your lies Madelyn. You stupid slut. You couldn’t stay loyal could you?” Drew snarled, hitting the girl’s head hard against the table.

She sobbed harder. “My name is Emily, my name isn’t Madelyn, please it’s Emily.” She babbled.

“SHUT UP.” He said, hitting her again.

Suddenly a shout rose up from outside the storage unit door. “Andrew Curtis, this is the FBI, come out with your hands raised.” 

The smile that crept across Drew’s face was wicked. He grabbed a knife and pulled Emily against him. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” He whispered in her ear. 

“Andrew Curtis, this is your last warning. We will come in armed and ready.” Hotch’s voice shouted again. 

Drew remained where he was, the sick smile on his face, as tears streamed down Emily’s face. 

When the door burst open and several agents poured in, he did not flinch or cower away. 

“Drop the weapon.” Hotch boomed, his voice echoing in the space.

“Now, now, now, where would the fun be in that?” Drew mocked. 

“Put down the weapon, Curtis and let the girl go.” Rossi ordered. 

Drew’s eyes looked past all of them and fell on Spencer, he bit back a smile.

“Come any closer and I’ll slice her throat.” Drew threatened, pressing the knife harder to Emily’s throat, a few drops of crimson blossomed and crept down her neck.

“If you don’t let Miss Bloise go, then we will be forced to take action Mr. Curtis.” Rossi explained.

Drew’s hand shook, god he wanted them to come at him, but then he thought of his mentee, how lost he would be without him. 

He lowered the knife and let the girl go. She ran towards one of the agents, tears mixing with the blood that ran down her neck. JJ wrapped an arm around the girl and guided her out. 

Morgan rushed to Curtis, pinning him down against the floor and putting cuffs around his wrists. 

Though they had caught him, Hotch felt uneasy. Curtis had given in too quickly. The greasy smile across Curtis’s face as Morgan led him away only heightened his suspicions. 

________________________________________________________________

The team sat outside the interrogation room, watching as Hotch tried to get a rise out of Andrew Curtis. He and JJ had gone in; Hotch to be the intimidator, JJ to be the trigger as she looked a bit similar to the victims. So far the man had just sat in the chair, his arms crossed, silent and smirking. It had been almost an hour and they had gotten nothing out of him.

Spencer felt as though Curtis could see him through the two-way mirror. 

“You know Agent,” Curtis began. “I know you’re trying to be the big bad wolf, but it’s not going to work, I’ve dealt with worse than you.”

Morgan looked about ready to kick in the door and beat the confession out of Andrew. 

“Send me in, I’ll get an answer out of him” Morgan growled, cracking his knuckles.

“Unfortunately, the confession won’t stand up in court if they found out you beat the shit out of Curtis to get it” Emily smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

“The Court doesn’t have to know” Morgan argued, making Emily scoff. 

“Focus kids.” Rossi ordered sternly, but Spencer could tell he was fighting back a small smile. 

Hotch and JJ came out of the room. Hotch looked to Spencer, his expression grim. “He wants to talk with you.”

Spencer looked at Hotch confused, “Why me?”

“He’s ‘fascinated by you’” Hotch explained. “I know it’s not ideal and you don’t have to go in their Reid, but-”

“But, we could get the confession out of him. We have the charges for Miss Bloise, but we want to pin him for the other girls he attacked. I understand and I will do it.” Spencer said. 

“I’ll stick with you Spence” JJ reassured, putting a hand on his arm. “You won’t be alone.”

Spencer nodded, sending a grateful look JJ’s way as they made their way into the interrogation room.

“Ah the elusive doctor. So glad you could join us.” Drew purred.

Spencer said nothing as he moved to sit down across from Curtis.

“-your wife left you Mr. Curtis, is that correct?” JJ asked.

“Please doll, a pretty thing like you can call me Drew” Drew said, looking JJ up and down. 

Spencer’s fists clenched in anger as he felt JJ tense next to him.

“The file says she left you after she cheated on you. Did you have medical issues Mr. Curtis?” Reid asked, drawing Curtis’s attention to him. “Did you struggle to please your own wife?”

Curtis growled. “That stupid whore has nothing to do with this.” 

“Ah so you couldn’t and when she left you for a man that could, you projected your anger for her onto these women. You were angry at them for being confident and independent, much like your wife who knew what she wanted.” Spencer said, sitting back in his chair with a faint smirk. 

“These women were nothing but whores, willing to let men in like me. They wanted someone so badly they let a stranger into their house.” Curtis hissed.

“Mr. Curtis, you were a delivery man. They didn’t let you in, you forced your way into their homes didn’t you?”

“If a man needs a glass of water, can’t he let himself in?” Curtis purred. “They turned their backs on a predator and got what was coming to them.” 

“Did you attack them in their homes?” JJ asked. 

“Only to make them quiet, couldn’t have the neighbors hear them scream.” Curtis laughed and Spencer resisted the urge to choke out the man across from him. 

They placed images of all of his supposed victim’s before him. “Do you recognize these women?” JJ asked, her voice harsh and cold. 

Curtis looked over all of them, silent for a couple minutes. Spencer’s patience thinned. “Well?” 

Curtis pointed to an image of Lila Jennings, the third victim of this case. “She screamed the loudest.” He pointed to another image. “She was a hot piece of ass, it was fun breaking her.” 

“Enough.” Spencer hissed. 

“In short Doctor, yes I do recognize these women. Every single one of them and no I do not regret a single one.”

Without saying another word, JJ and Spencer got up, taking the files with them. Curtis’s laughter rang out behind them as they shut the door.

________________________________________________________________

TAGLIST

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Pining - Azutara

Day 3 of Winter ATLA Femslash Week 2021. This work is also available here on AO3. 

Prompt: Braids/Hair Braiding or Pining

Katara arrives home after another late night of tracking down an assassin. To her surprise, the assassin tracked her down instead. Basically a Killing Eve AU. Blood CW. 

Thud! “Fuck.” Katara glared down at the dropped grocery bag. She continued to fumble with her set of keys, feeling the jagged edges with her fingers in the darkness. After two failed attempts at finding the right fit for the door, she finally felt one of the keys slip inside the lock. Katara adjusted the two other grocery bags in her arms, freeing her other hand to pull the knob towards her. The door, along with the rest of the building, was ancient, and after years of settling, the wood remained stubbornly out of place. 

The lock clicked. She twisted the knob and shoved her weight against the door, but was met with resistance. Katara grunted as she pushed again, keys jingling with each effort. 

A light flickered on above her. Katara winced and turned around. An older woman stood outside one of the other apartment doors, arms crossed. She wore a fierce expression, pink slippers, and a robe that would have been too short on a person of average height. 

“Sorry, Auntie,” Katara whispered. They weren’t related by blood, but the landlady had never introduced herself as anything else. 

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Auntie hissed. 

“I know, I promise I’ll be more quiet next-”

“If you’re going to be out late, the least you can do is bring home a man!”

“I wasn’t ‘out’,” Katara said defensively. “I was working.”

“Again!” She shook her finger at Katara. “You can’t keep this up forever, you know! You only think you can because you’re young!”

“I know, Auntie.”

“You tell that boss of yours that you need a break! You tell him or I will!”

Katara smiled to herself, picturing her tiny landlady just as she was, robed, slippered, and wagging her finger at the head of the Secret Intelligence Service. “Okay, Auntie.” She pressed against the door again, and this time it chose to relinquish easily. “Goodnight.”

The woman grumbled a goodbye as Katara entered her apartment, dragging in the bag she had dropped earlier. 

Katara sighed, letting the wear of the day slide off her shoulders along with her oversized coat. She abandoned two of the grocery bags at the door, too exhausted to bother with the non-perishable items. Katara carried the third paper bag, now soggy with cold, through the darkness, aiming for the kitchen. Her fingers danced on the wall until she found the switch. 

Light flooded the tiny area. The short, cluttered counter had three bar stools behind it. Sitting upright in the center one, hands folded neatly, was Azula. 

“Oh shit!” Thud. Katara ignored the fallen bag this time, her attention narrowed on the other woman. 

Azula’s long black hair was pulled into an unusually messy top knot, a bruise swelling above her smeared eyeliner. She smiled easily at Katara, flinching as the movement stretched the bloody cut on her lip. “You redecorated.”

“What the fuck are you doing? Just sitting alone in the dark?”

“I wanted to scare you,” Azula said. “I thought it’d be funny. And it was.”

Katara gawked, her expression turning to one of concern. “Are you hurt?”

“A little. I tried to clean up before you got here, but I couldn’t figure out how to work your shower.” Disdain entered her voice as she said, “It seems that the knob was replaced by a wrench.”

“Yeah…” Katara struggled to regain her composure. “Yeah, the uh… maintenance guy is out on vacation.” Her eyes landed on Azula’s left arm, where a strip of yellow cloth had been tied and dyed red. “Oh my god, are you bleeding?”

Azula rolled her eyes. “It’s just a scratch. Turns out some children hate when you try to off their father.” Her features darkened. “Even if he was a complete asshole.” Her mood lightened again, as quickly as it had dimmed. “Either way, I was in the area, and I figured someone as maternal as you could stitch me up.”

“What? I’m not maternal!” 

“So you can’t give me stitches?”

“Of course I can!” Katara finally resumed control of herself. She knelt and picked up the grocery bag, reaching for the spilled contents. “Hold on, let me um… put everything away first.”

“Take your time; I’m in no rush.”

Katara opened the fridge. “They’re not after you?”

“I never leave a trail.” Azula smirked. “This may surprise you, but I’m actually good at my job.”

“Hmph. I’m not,” Katara said. “If I was, I’d be calling my boss right now. I’m supposed to be tracking you down, you know.”

“Aw, all this fuss over me.” Azula propped her elbows on the counter, making a bridge with her interlaced fingers. “I’m touched.”

“At the very least, I should drop you off at the hospital.”

“Ugh, you know how I feel about hospitals.”

Katara gazed at her intently. “And you know how I feel about assassins.”

“Hmm. I actually don’t, but let me guess.” Azula’s golden eyes flickered, like a cat playing with it’s meal. “You feel… ‘Scared’? No, that’s not it. How about ‘intrigued’? Wait, I’ve got it.” She licked her lips, smearing blood with her tongue. “‘Aroused.’”

Blood rushed to Katara’s face. She turned away, changing the subject quickly. “Can I get you anything? Some tea? Vodka?”

Azula leaned back, satisfied with her reaction. “Do you have any cabernet sauvignon?”

“Well for wine, I’ve got…” Katara dragged a large box out of the fridge and dropped it unceremoniously on the counter. “Red.”

***

“Ah!” Azula hissed in pain. 

Katara grinned, pulling the curved needle away from the open wound. “Oh, don’t be a baby.”

“Then stop hacking me to pieces, you maniac.” Azula used her free hand to grab her wine, drinking from a faded London Zoo mug. 

“What did they get you with, anyway?”

“Bullet.” She sighed. “It was my fault, I didn’t move quick enough. Getting sloppy in my old age.”

“We’re only 25, Azula.”

“Yes, and that much closer to death.”

Katara shook her head affectionately. “I guess assassins don’t have long life spans.”

“The good ones do.”

“And you’re one of the good ones?”

Azula’s expression changed. “I was.”

Katara punctured her skin once more with the needle, causing Azula to wince. “You said yourself that you’re good at your job.”

“Yes, usually I finish my assignments flawlessly. But this time…” She looked away. “I… I was clumsy. I made too many mistakes. The son caught me mid-kill. I should have had plenty of time before he arrived, but… I hesitated.”

Katara paused, frowning at her. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Azula said quietly, almost whispering. Katara had never seen her like this: yielding, vulnerable. The sight put her on edge. Any moment, Azula would bounce back, laugh at her for falling for the act. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was a deplorable person. Politician, pushed through policies that left millions of people suffering, not to mention the 4 sexual assault accusations.”

“Oof,” Katara said, pulling on the thread. 

“But… I don’t know,” Azula repeated. “I started by beating him bloody. He liked trophy hunting, so I used the blunt side of some elephant tusks. I’ve done this enough times that I knew the begging would come next. They always beg, offer me money, power. But he just looked me in the eye. Like he was at peace with it, with the consequences of everything he’d done. 

“I’d just caught him fresh out of the bath, so he was still wearing his robe. And he asked me to wait before I killed him. He crawled to his desk, and grabbed something small off the surface. And he put it on his left hand.” She closed her eyes, solemn. “He wanted to die wearing his wedding ring. That asshole, that monster, wanted to die… loved. And he did.”

Katara searched her face, fighting the urge to take Azula’s hand. Even if this was an act, it didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that Azula, the assassin she’d spent a year tracking down, fighting with, dreaming about… was crying. 

“After it was done,” Azula said, treating her tears like an inconvenience. “His son came in, caught me with an upper right before he got his hands on one of the shotguns. I was almost out the window when he fired.” She lifted her chin, staring up at the ceiling. The callous bathroom light hit her features, and Katara wondered how someone so clouded by sin could look so holy. “When I fell into the bushes, felt the sting on my arm, I realized I could have been a few inches too far to the left. Or he could have aimed better.” She stiffened her lower lip. “I don’t mind death. It’s always been part of the job, a potential side effect. But if I died, even the most painless, agreeable way...” Azula looked down at her naked left hand, flexing her fingers. “I’d still have it worse than he did.”

They sat in stillness for a moment. In a last ditch attempt, Katara waited for a punchline. A jump scare. Anything. But she was only met with silence. 

Though Azula had stopped crying, Katara was still stricken. During the briefings at MI6, Azula was always described as a psychopath. No feeling, no remorse. After encountering her in real life, Katara had come to the same conclusion. But now…

Katara grazed the top of Azula’s hand with her fingers. They both stared at the action, slowly moving their hands until their palms were pressed together, fingers intertwined. “You won’t die unloved, Azula,” Katara murmured. 

Azula scoffed, a harsh sound after the quiet. “Don’t say that. I could have a heart attack in the next ten minutes, or you could have poisoned the wine.” She flashed a glare at the mug. “Considering the taste, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Smiling, Katara shook her head. “Even if you died right now.”

They both froze, the weight of Katara’s words settling in the air. They met each other’s eyes, lips parted slightly. Katara gulped involuntarily, mind racing. “A-Azu-”

Azula pressed her mouth against hers, swallowing her own name before Katara could finish saying it. Katara tilted her head, letting Azula run her tongue along her lower lip. She tasted like blood and cheap wine. 

After a moment, Azula pulled away. Katara threaded her fingers in her black hair, pulling her back in. Azula chuckled against her mouth, letting Katara kiss her, letting herself be loved. 

hi! I was curious as to what are both your fav and least fav versions of anakin? (like aotc, rots, old force ghost, clone wars, etc)

This is such an exciting question, but I'll try to be succinct instead of long-winded and boring. (My stories are already there for that.) Here's a quick rundown of a few different Anakins, from my most treasured to the one (and only one) I tend to side-eye: 

ROTJ Anakin / Force Ghost Anakin - I'm grouping these guys together, because I love them all for the same reason, and that reason is that they DID it. ROTJ Anakin is the Anakin who finds himself again; who takes responsibility for his family, and a huge step toward atoning for the things he's done. He spends ROTJ slowly changing; we see it in how he regards the Emperor, and the way he regards Luke. The closest thing he’s ever going to do to getting his wife back, realistically, is saving his son and finally openly defying Palpatine. It doesn’t matter that anyone else knows Vader has been rescued from himself, or that he was really a good man all along. Luke knows, and that’s enough; it’s part of why their relationship is so special to me. Luke is the only living person who says a proper goodbye to Anakin: He knew all along that it was worth it to try to know him. That’s beautiful.

His journey isn't finished at this stage, exactly, but his he's in a better place than he's ever been, and I love him for it. He's hope personified, even for the very worst of us.

As an aside— physicality isn't a barrier to any of this; I love him all busted up and dying, I love him as a fully-healed Sebastian Shaw, and as a pretty, young Hayden Christensen.

Padawan Anakin / AOTC Anakin / Jedi Quest Anakin - In second place is a much younger iteration of him— a sad, lonely kid who's easily excitable, and dangerous, somehow, without being at all frightening. He's a mixed-up kid who's had a less-than-ideal upbringing, bound to an ancient prophecy no one knows enough about. He cries out constantly to be held and loved; he's got his heart in his hand, and he's always ready to give it away to the next person who shows him kindness— or who even just needs him. 

He's still so compassionate and well-intentioned at this point in his life, even when it doesn't benefit him. He can be petty and sensitive, although anyone would be, if they had to bear the kind of weight Anakin carries on his own shoulders at that age. His emotions sometimes run amok, but his heart is still so good... and more importantly than that, he knows it. He still has hope, for himself and for others, despite the overwhelming sense of 'otherness' he tends to feel. That's what sets him apart from Vader for me, even though I think AOTC Ani resembles the ultimate, 'suited' Darth Vader a lot more than the Anakin we meet at the beginning of ROTS. 

Plus— although this is fairly irrelevant— AOTC Anakin happens to be Anakin at peak hotness. No damn wig is going to change that, nor is the sad fact of my own rapidly-advancing age. :) 

Little Kid Anakin / TPM Anakin - The sweet baby version of Anakin comes in next for me. The altruism he struggles to hang onto until he finally falls is front-and-centre at this stage. He's tough by necessity (obviously, he's a fucking slave), but he isn't jaded yet— largely owing to his mother. Even when he loses Qui-Gon and gets to the Temple and struggles to integrate, his heart just stays enormous. God knows what he's already been through, but he never stops trying, and there's nothing fake about his confidence at this stage in his life. I love that; I think we could all stand to be a bit more like nine-year-old Anakin Skywalker.

There's an Anakin & Reader story on ao3 by @itohan called 'Kuebiko', and it's a beautiful depiction of what it might be like to be a caregiver for a very young Anakin. It's headed for some pretty sad places, to be sure, but there's a lot of sweetness and lovely (sometimes chilling) little insights into his character that I don't otherwise get to see very often. Anyone else with a soft spot for child Ani should go and read it.

'Classic' Vader, between the end of ROTS and the end of ANH - This is an enormous chunk of time, but again, I think it's more helpful than not if I just group these iterations of him together, at least for the purpose of compiling this list. It's horrific and tragic and a devastating waste of potential, but Anakin really does spend a huge amount of time mired in a thick, dark cloud of grief and anger. He convinces himself of a lot of stupid shit during this period in his life: 'Anakin is dead, I'm fulfilling my destiny, I can get Padmé back, she'd love all this ORDER I'm bringing, blah blah blah'. Every ounce of his extraordinary control is purely surface-level; he's a raging wildfire inside for a longer period of time than I think nearly anyone else could realistically sustain (as in, Kylo Ren was always going to die at 30, and I'm surprised I didn't, too lol).

He's empowered by his shitstain of a 'Master' to hurt and kill people against everything that once made him who he was, and no one can know he suffers for it (or for the loss of his wife, or the family he wishes he could have raised with her). No one can know anything about him; he's a man playing a part who can't ever take off his costume. Everything hurts him, and the only places he can turn to for comfort are the battlefield, and the inside of his own head. He has profound disabilities of every imaginable nature, and receives no more than the most cursory physical maintenance to remedy them. He escapes into his missions, but every one of those is a slight against his own better nature. His personal pursuits don't benefit him either; for basically twenty years of his life, he's living in an emotional storm— it ebbs and flows, but it never lets up, and his entire existence is set up specifically to reward the most despicable of his behaviour.

He doesn't make very many genuine emotional breakthroughs, because he's not allowed— just tricked and lied to and manipulated and taken advantage of, even when he's the one ostensibly in 'control'. His life only starts again when Luke comes into it; again, one more reason their connection is so special to me.

I'm going to go ahead and recommend another Anakin/Reader story by a different author; it's called 'mrfiveohone' by DarthDoritos, and it's on ao3. It's a brilliant exploration of what a strange, budding relationship with a youngish Vader might look like, and just an overall beautiful portrait of escalating intimacy on top of that. Another one I would highly recommend (completion status notwithstanding) is called 'Afterimage', and it is by garnettrees, also on ao3. It's a very dark Vaderdala story that gets right inside Anakin's head in the most wonderful ways. He never stops loving Padmé, and in that, he never truly stops being who he is. 

This is the Vader I (admittedly somewhat dramatically) see the most of myself in. It puts us at-odds sometimes, but my urge to get up underneath that mask and make him feel worthy of his own name is insurmountable. I love him because if I didn't, I'd be in trouble. 

Which brings us to TCW Anakin… who is, perhaps, the only version of Anakin I can honestly say I don't care for. Which is fine, because the show itself really isn't my kind of thing. Suffice to say, that particular depiction of him departs so dramatically from any of the other ones I've known (or listed here) that I just can't get into it, no matter how hard I try. 

I'm going to end this with a shout-out to Lego Anakin! I've never seen a shitty version of Lego Anakin, whether in a cartoon or on my desk at home. :)

Thank you for asking, anon. That was fun to write out!

unedited scene from that cyberpunk au because it dug into my brain

“His heart is failing,” Wen Qing says, bluntly.

Wei Wuxian appreciates the bluntness of it, honestly. He doesn’t think he could have beared it to sit there while she hemmed and hawed her way through telling him that his brother is dying. It doesn’t make the news less soul-crushing, of course, but it’s nice to not feel frustrated at the same time.

“Can you fix it?” he asks. He knows the answer.

“No,” Wen Qing says. “He’s being kept alive by the machines I have him on for now, but he needs a heart transplant, and where the hell are we going to a compatible, brain-dead person from, if you can’t stick your head out without the Corporation getting you?”

Wei Wuxian nods. So much of him wants to break down sobbing about it all, about Jiang-shushu and Madam Yu and his brother, his baby brother, sitting there dying in a bed, but he can’t. He needs to be strong, he needs to fix this. If only he could make something like what he has—

Wait.

“If he could have something to help his heart beat,” Wei Wuxian says, the pieces of it all coming together in his head, “like an implant.”

“Impossible,” Wen Qing says with a scoff. “I am not Cangse Sanren, to devise mechanical marvels from thin air.”

“You wouldn’t need to.”

Wei Wuxian pulls his shirt off, ignoring Wen Qing’s squawk of displeasure. He raises a shaking hand to his chest, pressing in the specific pattern to open the panel right over his heart. The skin mimicry dissolves as he pulls the metal panel away, and he allows Wen Qing to see into the cavity there.

Where his heart rests, a mechanical cradle surrounding it. It beats, so loud without the mufflers of the panel. Wen Qing gasps a little, in awe. 

“Your mother was Cangse Sanren,” she says, understanding. “Of course. Can you recreate it?”

Here Wei Wuxian frowns, slotting the panel back in place. Even in the sterile infirmary room, he still feels odd with his heart bared to the world. “I wasn’t allowed to look at the schematics,” he says. “Jiang-shushu was worried I’d try to make upgrades on my own. He was probably right.” Wei Wuxian laughs a little. “I was supposed to be let into the lab this year, and he’d give me what he had of my mother’s work. Of course, that’s no longer an option. Madam Yu burnt the lab down on our way out. I’ve seen some part of it, when they’re removed for maintenance, but nothing beyond that.”

“Then we’re back to square one, with slightly more information, and we don’t have the time.”

“If I can see the shape of it,” Wei Wuxian declares, “I can recreate it. I know I can.”

“And how, pray tell, would we do that? What, do you want me to take it out of you and take it apart?” At Wei Wuxian’s silence, Wen Qing goes pale. “You’re insane! That’ll kill you!”

“Not immediately,” Wei Wuxian says. “I’m not sure how long, exactly, I can go without it, but I can go at least eight hours. That’s how long I’ve had the key components out. If you can get it back into me in that time, I’ll be okay.”

“The amount of strain it’ll put on your heart to have the whole thing taken out could cause permanent damage. If anything happened—a heart attack, electric shock, any EMP signals—your heart could stop. Permanently.”

“It’s worth it.” Wei Wuxian chokes back the tears that want to come to his eyes. “He’s my brother, Wen Qing. Please. Would you be able to sit back and watch Wen Ning die, if you could do anything to stop it?”

Wen Qing does not respond for a long moment, her jaw clenched tight. Wei Wuxian knows he’s won, though, by the slump of her shoulders. “No. No, I couldn’t. But if you die, Wei Wuxian, then he’s as good as dead too.”

“It’s a good thing,” Wei Wuxian says, with a smile, “that I’ve got the best doctor in the world on my side.”

Survey #420

lol blaze it (i’m funny i swear)

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? Without a doubt, Bojangle's. Good. Shit. Are there hurricanes where you live? Yeah, they're common here. What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. What song are you listening to right now? "Beast of Gévaudan" by Powerwolf. What was your first concert? Alice Cooper. Also my only concert. What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? Alice In Wonderland. Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. Do you like pumpkin pie? Anything pumpkin-flavored is a hell no from me. Do you know anyone named Austin? Knew, rather. Do you know anyone who is having a baby? My friend recently announced she and her husband are having their second child in December. What was the last thing you cried about? Just PTSD. Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I like both, but I prefer chocolate. Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. How many deep dark secrets do you have? Two or so, idk. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with one of the hottest sauces. Wanted to die. ... Yet I continued to get that one whenever I went for years lmao. Who last called you sexy? I don't know. Would you class yourself as a good role model? In some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Are you scared of the dark? No. Do you have a motto? No. Who did you last see on webcam? The doctor that overlooks my TMS progress. Do you need a haircut? I need a trim for sure. How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? Well, considering 1.) she's way past menopause and especially 2.) she's had a complete hysterectomy, y'know... that's kind of impossible. She also hasn't been with a guy in many years, so she would have to be joking. You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? -___- Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? ALONE. You will NOT see me exercise in front of other people. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? The most involved is DEFINITELY World of Warcraft, and I guess you could consider it the hardest too, given some of the much more difficult things I've done in it. It itself isn't a hard game whatsoever, but you can pursue some really hard achievements. Ever watch the show Supernatural? If you have, then what’s your favorite episode? I used to love it, but just stopped watching eventually. My fave episode... Man, it's been too long to remember many. Probably one of the funnier ones. I remember I specifically liked the bit where they were in your everyday comedy show, as well as the one where I THINK Dean kept trying to prevent Sam from dying. I just remember the "Eye of the Tiger" bit that is pure gold. Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? Oh, no, but that sounds good. Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? Yeah, Pokemon. Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? Besides butter, which I think is pretty standard, no. When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? Uh, I dunno. It depends on the book. I don't really care about page numbers. Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? Yeah. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Girt, probably. Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? I don't think so? When is the last time you cried? I was sobbing earlier today, fun stuff. Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? Most likely not. ESPECIALLY at my age. What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? Oh god. WoW, M:tG, big glasses, anime (does that count? idk really), video games... a lot of stuff, really. Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? Y I K E S, no. That would be SO uncomf. What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? Actually raising it properly, physically and emotionally. Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? No. Would you ever be a surrogate mother? No. What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? It'd be cool to have someone you feel an almost supernatural connection towards, but I'd also feel like I wasn't as "original" as I would be if I was born alone. Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? I mean it wasn't awful at all, but sure, in some ways compared to at least someone. How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? Well today I'm a wreck, so don't tell me. I want to know that I wasn't lied to for 25 years. Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? I'm not entirely clear on this, but I'm 90% sure Dad cheated on Mom with his now-wife. Dad also accused Mom of cheating, but I HIGHLY doubt that's true. Do you like cleaning and organizing? Not really. How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? Fuck having kids. I'd be a terrible mother. So to answer the other question, I'll be pretty, pretty sad if I can't get permission to spread Teddy's ashes at Yellowstone. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? Well, obviously not considering my dream job is a meerkat biologist, and I'm not moving to Africa. Have you ever been robbed? No. Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? Not anymore. Dad was, but he's recovered. Have you ever dumped anyone? Yes. What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Risk his fucking sanity and health to try to hold my fucked up self up. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Bisexual. I've kinda been questioning pansexual of the late, though. I don't know. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? Not to my memory. Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: Regret. Hopelessness. Loneliness. And the reasons for these feelings? Take a wild fuckin' guess. How do you feel about your life right now? It's an actual dumpster fire. Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? Fuck no. Because there's just not very much TO like about me. Even on my good days, I see flaw after flaw in myself. What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. What subjects do not? Math, economics, politics, history... Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? Definitely fiction. When I read a book, I want an escape from the real world. How has today been for you? BOY HOWDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What did you do? Went to TMS therapy. Sat on the Internet. Cried. :^) Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? No. Are there any lava lamps near you? No. I want one, though. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Are any of your friends a pothead? Yes. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? Start losing weight again. That'd be pretty goddamn grand. Are you a high maintenance person? Definitely not. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? I was having a nightmare. Have you ever been heartbroken? For sure. Who did that to you? First Dad, then Jason. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? Boy, did I. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: A pb&j. The last time you spent most of the day in bed: Literally every day. I do just about everything in bed. Pathetic, I know. The last friend or acquaintance you made: Ummmm idk. The last thing you took pictures of: A hydrangea bush. The last time you were scared: Now. The future is terrifying, my friend. The last thing you looked up online: The definition of a word to ensure I was using it correctly. The last thing you disagreed with: So I've been watching John Wolfe's old stream of him playing Alice: Madness Returns, and he went on a total soapbox about smoking being okay essentially because we're all gonna die eventually from something, and I really disagreed with it. Does your house have a separate laundry room? No, just like a closet. Do your parents still help you financially? I'm still entirely dependent on them. Does your car have a backup camera? No. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? REALLY old, no. Teddy was definitely up there, but beagles have lived longer. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Lysol. Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? Christ, no. Is your bed against more than one of your walls? No. Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? Don't think so? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever broken into someone’s house? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes. What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? I dunno. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? No. How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? Funny you ask, because as of today I decided to take a break from it for awhile. I've found it's nothing more than a breeding ground for envy and making me feel like a horribly incompetent adult. Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? I had one photography teacher in college that I was NOT a fan of. He was super, super hard on everyone, like to an unnecessary degree. We were students, not pros. Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. Are your parents supportive of you? Somehow.

Scars - Raphael

Raphael x Fem! Reader

@missbeautyandherbeast

Raphael had never thought he could fail this badly. Badly enough for his breath to catch in his chest and his body disobey his commands to move. He never thought he could fail badly enough for her to be in danger.

“I would not advise you to move.” The Shredder spit the words, even as Y/N galaxy painted sneakers dangled off the floor. She had always been petite, but never had she looked quite so small and fragile as when Shredder had a grip on her throat. How had he found her? How did he even know about her? Raph hadn’t even told his brothers. Had Raph not been careful enough when he went to visit her?

The questions bounced around his head, blurring with fear. Y/N was his sanity, his safe place. He loved her, he couldn’t lose her. He had to fix this. Even if she would probably never want to see him again afterwards.

“Raph…” He just barely heard her say his name. He’d always loved how she said it whether it was a whisper or a yell. When she said it, it was more than just his name because there was always something more there. Something he never could place.

“Yer gonna be okay, Y/N…” Was he trying to assure her or himself? “I promise.” She nodded even as she gasped for breath, the sound lost beneath Mikey’s exclamation.

“Dude, you know this chick?” Well that secret was out...

“Are you sure?” The Shredder chuckled darkly, lifting his blades to Y/N’s cheek. 

NO!

Before the word could leave his lips, the blade arched down her face, the angry red wound slipping down from just beneath her beautiful E/C eye to her jaw. Raph ground his teeth, her pained cry echoing through his mind. Raph stepped forward, adjusting his grip on his sais. He was going to destroy Shredder if it was the last thing he did.

“Raph, be careful!” Y/N yelled even as the Shredder left a second mark on her beautiful face. She wanted him to be careful? She was in danger! He was going to rip Shredder apart or die trying if that was what it took to get her safe. Even then he was mad enough to...

Oh.

“Leo...yer call…” Every fiber in his body rebelled against saying those words. He couldn’t risk her life, he couldn’t let his temper control him, not again, especially not here. Even if he would like to shove the Shredder’s head through the pavement. Several times. Y/N needed him to keep calm. 

Leo glanced at him, frowning before looking back to Y/N. “Alright… Raph, you get her, We’ll take him.” That was a plan.

They charged the Shredder. Well, at least he did until the metal lad man tossed Y/N aside like a rag doll. Raph darted over to where she landed, dangerously close to the edge of the roof. She looked up as he neared, blood and tears streaking down her face as he gathered her shaking form into his arms. And in that instant, it hit him just how close to losing her he had been. Shredder could have just killed her, instead of using her to hold them off from stopping the release of the gas, or she could have gone over the edge of the building. He could have lost her in an instant.

“I’m gonna get ya out of here, doll.” Raph whispered, cradling her close as he stood. She shook her head. Why was she arguing with him? Now was not the time for that -adorable- stubbornness.

“No...You need to help your brothers…” Her voice shook even as she said it. “I...I think I can get off the roof by myself… It’s more important that you stop him…”

“You’re my priority.” He claimed even as he moved towards the exit, devouring the distance with his quick strides. Y/N shook her head again, H/C locks falling in her face and sticking in the blood. Why was she fighting him on this? Why was it so important? He just wanted to try to make up for getting her into this situation in the first place, no matter how impossible that would be. 

“Raphael.” She made an effort to get out of his grasp. “Help your brothers, please. Because if you don’t, it won’t matter if I’m safe. That poison will coat the whole city.” Raph paused, letting her down with a frustrated growl. She was right, she always was when it mattered. 

“Fine.” He huffed. “But ya get out of here and get out of here fast. And stay safe.” He couldn’t lose her. Out of the whole world, she was the one person that saw him for more than his appearance or his temper. If he didn’t have her, he didn’t have anything. “Promise me ya’ll stay safe…”

“I promise.” She seemed to attempt a smile before turning and running for the maintenance door. He hated seeing her go, but at least he could pummel the Shredder without terrifying her farther.

***

“Would you like to explain just how that girl knows you?” Leo snapped, hardly waiting five minutes before returning home.Raph just glared at him. Every muscle in his body ached, the adrenaline giving way to exhaustion. Didn’t Fearless feel the same? No, of course he didn’t, he was perfect. Fearless never could understand just how far Raph would go for Y/N or why. Y/N...Raph had to check on her. But he probably couldn’t leave until after his brothers went to bed.

“No.” Raph growled. “I want to sleep.” He brushed by his brother only for Mikey to speak up.

“Seriously dude, how do you know her? That girl is hot.” 

Oh no. Raph paused. Mikey did not just call her “hot”. She wasn’t hot, she was beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, and angelic. Not just hot. Besides, Y/N was Raph’s girl, how dare his brother say something like that? Baby of the family or not, Mikey did not get to get away with speaking of her like that.

“Y/N,” Raph leveled a glare at his brother. “Is my girlfriend.” His temper brought the words out in a hiss, even if the meaning behind them made his heart do a strange little dance he still hadn’t gotten used to. He left them with that ignoring Mikey’s curious questions and Leo’s frustrated ones, and Donnie’s shocked stares. He loved his brothers, but he doubted they would ever approve of the risks he had taken with seeing Y/N. Risks that had been worth it until today. Risks that had nearly cost him her.

***

Her window was unlocked and part way opened, just like always. Hopefully that meant not much else had changed, at least here. Sliding the window open, he climbed through.

“Raph!” Y/N exclaimed softly, just about leaping off her bed and into his arms. He nearly staggered. He had only caught a glimpse of her face but it was enough to see the bandage that covered a good portion of her face. He’d failed her and that was why she had that…

He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her close, all too aware of just how tiny and fragile she was. How did he not see it sooner? Why hadn’t he tried harder to keep her a secret? To keep her safe? Why had it taken her nearly dying for him to see it?

“Are you alright?” Y/N pulled back slightly, studying him, looking him over. He wanted to laugh at the irony. She was still more concerned about him than anything. Selfless as usual.

“Just a little sore, doll.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s been a long day…”

“Do you want some hot chocolate? Something to eat?” She asked, frowning slightly. He shook his head. While his stomach would welcome her amazing cooking and her fabulous hot chocolate, all he wanted was to hold her close, to breath in the scent of her coconut shampoo and feel her gentle touch gliding over his skin as she whispered whatever she wanted to say or say nothing at all. He wanted things to be normal. 

“Do you want to cuddle?” She tilted her head as she asked it. Chances were she already knew the answer, but she was always so careful to ask.

“Yes please.” He whispered as she climbed back onto her bed. Carefully he joined her there. Slowly as not to crush her, he almost laid on her, resting his head on her shoulder. Laying there, he could feel her heartbeat, drumming in perfect time with his. He let out a sigh as he nuzzled her neck, just enjoying the way her fingertips traced the pattern of his shell. This was the way things should be. Not having to worry about the Shredder or brothers or anything else, just enjoying each other. 

“Raph!” Y/N exclaimed softly, “Your shell is cracked!” Right. The Shredder owed him especially for that particular ache. 

“It’s fine,” He muttered, “It will heal.” He felt her sigh, before she pressed a kiss to his forehead. This girl might as well be a queen, she was so sweet, so perfect. Even what others would call faults, he could only see as part of her beauty. Her subtle streak of stubborness, the way she let her heart overrule her head, and the way she refused to let others dictate her actions and thoughts. How she balanced that with her tender selflessness, her compassion, and the joy that seemed to just overflow from her heart, he didn’t know, but he admired and loved her all the more for it. Yet...how could Y/N possibly love him back?

He was a mutant turtle, massive, green, and chained to a life in the shadows. He could never give her everything she deserved. He wasn’t worthy of her, and she had been put in danger because of him. He...he was dangerous. He had enemies, not to mention his own temper. What if he struck out in anger and hurt her? He could never forgive himself for letting her get within the Shredder’s reach, nevermind if he hurt her. Raph couldn’t let that happen. He loved her too much. But how? As long as he was around there was a chance of that happening.

As long as he was around.

“I…” He didn’t want to say the words, didn’t want to leave her, her warmth, touch, and the comfort he found there. Up until today, he had always felt like enough when she was nearby. Never good enough for her, but enough for himself and for his family. 

He would miss that.

“I need to go…” He muttered, pulling away. She frowned up at him, the expression looking so wrong on her peach pink lips. He should have kissed those lips more. 

“You just got here a little bit ago.” She voiced the protest his own heart was crying. “Is something wrong?

“No, nothing is wrong.” He lied, “I just wanna get home and get some sleep.” Raph tried to smile down at her, but everything in him was screaming for him to kiss her, to tell her that he loved her and just how much. But how could he tell her that he loved her then leave her? It would break him in a million pieces.

It would break her.

“Okay…” Y/N whispered. Blast it, he couldn’t leave her without a kiss, without one last taste of her lips. He leaned in and tried to memorize the moment. The softness of her lips, the sweet taste of coconut and something else that was entirely her. The feeling of her hands sliding over his shoulders, his neck and playing with the ties of his mask. Why did he have to be a turtle? Why couldn’t he have been a human? One who could stay here with her and be by her side for everything?

He couldn’t help a frustrated growl and kissed her deeper for half a moment before his head took control again. What was he doing? Why was he making this harder for both of them? He broke the kiss, but couldn’t quite bring himself to pull away just yet, hanging his head as the shame overtook him. He was going to hurt her, but she would be better for it.

Y/N would be better without him.

“Raph, what’s wrong?” She always knew. Why did she always have to know? He forced himself away, off the bed and towards the window. Raph paused there.

He had to do this.

He had to say goodbye.

He couldn’t look at her, even when he heard her climb off the bed. A shiver ran through him as her hand landed on his shoulder.

“Raph…” Tears pricked at his eyes. 

“Goodbye Y/N.” 

***

Raph had never been so miserable in his life. Even as his brothers, April, and Vern celebrated, as the whole city celebrated the defeat of the Shredder, Raph couldn’t force a smile past the pieces of his broken heart. Shards of pain inside his chest that cut and sliced at him every time Y/N’s name flashed on his phone. He felt as if he was being destroyed from the inside out when he read a text message from her, the words richoting in his head for two weeks.

I don’t know what’s wrong Raph, but if it’s my fault, please give me a chance to fix it.

She was blaming herself when the blame was his and his alone. But she was stronger than he was. She would be fine; she would be better off without him and the danger that followed him.

“Raphael!” Leo’s words snapped through his head. “What’s with the moping? You’ve been pouting for the past month and I’m tired of it!” Raph lifted his gaze from his cereal to glare at his brother. How could Leo possibly understand what Raph was feeling?

“I am not pouting.” He grumbled, not missing the looks his brothers traded. What was that supposed to mean?

“Dude, are you still upset over me calling Y/N hot?” Mikey asked. Raph ground his teeth at the pain hearing her name caused him. Why couldn’t his brothers just leave him be? He said nothing, dropping his gaze back to the increasingly soggy Cheerios. 

“Wait, this is about Y/N, isn’t it?” Leo claimed, but there was no anger in his voice. Raph could only nod. The words wouldn’t come. How could they? The pain seemed to have sliced his vocal chords.

“Is she okay?” Donnie asked.

“I don’t know.” There was his voice, cracking on the words. “I haven’t talked to her...not since we beat the Shredder.” There was the honest truth, plain and simple.

“What?” Mikey asked, but it was Leo’s question that he paid more attention to.

“Did you at least go check on her after?” Leo quizzed. “She did get hurt.” There was a heartbeat of silence as Raph let his brothers figure it out. Donnie was smart, he should at least get it.

“She got hurt. You’re blaming yourself for that.” Leo claimed and Raph couldn’t help but flinch at the words.

“It is my fault.” He met his brother’s gaze only to start. There was no disappointment there, rather some kind of strange kindness.

“No it’s not,bro,” Mikey spoke up, “It was the Shredders for being a villian. And all you’re doing is punishing yourself and her by thinking it’s yours. By doing that you’re just letting the Shredder win.” Raph couldn’t help but stare at his youngest brother. How was he so smart? And how was it that his words actually make sense?

“But how do I tell her that?” He asked, “She was hurt and scared because I couldn’t protect her. Her face is scarred because I messed up.”

“You kept her hidden from us.” Leo argued. “We didn’t even know she existed you hid your relationship with her so well. You didn’t fail, the Shredder was just lucky.”

“And the best way to tell her that is to apologize.” Donnie chimed in. “Just go see her and apologize. If she’s the right one for you, she’ll forgive you.”

Since when did his brothers give such great relationship advice?

***

Raph’s heart stopped when he found her window shut and locked. Was he too late? Had he not waited another week to gather his courage would the window be open? He peered through the glass, hoping to see Y/N, but only saw emptiness. She probably was somewhere else in the apartment with her family, or just wasn’t home. He...he could wait. 

Sighing, he laid the rose he had brought down on the windowsill, right where she would see it. Hopefully, she would get his subtle message and open the window. Until then, he would wait on the rooftop across the alley.

The minutes ticked by, dissolving into the hours before he saw a light flick on in her room. He tensed, waiting and watching as Y/N appeared. His breath caught in his throat. She was gorgeous as ever. Her hair was done nicely, a dress as white as the purity he did not possess, caressing her curves. Where had she been to dress so beautifully? To look like the queen she was? Like the angel she was? He watched as she turned and glanced out the window. She went still before crossing her room, and sliding the glass upwards. The light poured out around her and she picked up the rose. She paused there for a moment, his heart counting the seconds until she looked up, her gaze searching for him, and the light catching on the scars that arched down her face. A shiver passed over him. He’d been right that she was scarred. But somehow, it only made her all the more beautiful. 

She climbed through her window, careful of the silky fabric of her dress, and began to climb the fire escape those last few stories before the rooftop. He cleared the distance before she reached the top, his reflexes silencing the landing.

“Raphael…” Her voice washed over him, filling his lungs like a breath of fresh air. She looked up at him, rose in her hand, curly strands falling around her face, and the wind making the dress dance. 

“What did I do wrong?” She whispered before he could find the words.

He broke all over again.

“Y/N, doll, ya didn’t do anything wrong-” Raph began but she cut him off with a tremble in her voice and tear rolling down her cheek. 

“Then why did you leave?”

“Because I was scared.” He stepped toward her, itching to reach out and wipe away that tear, to pull her close and tell her it would all be okay. “I was scared that I was putting ya in more danger, in danger of the people I’ve pissed off and from me.”

“Do you think I never once thought of that?” She claimed, another tear joining the first. “I’m not an idiot, I’ve known that from the very beginning…” Not once had he thought her to be an idiot. If anything he was the idiot for not considering that she knew. But now he had a question.

“But...ya didn’t push me away?” He tried not to stutter through it.

“Because I trust you!” She snapped, a fire flashing through the hurt in her eyes. She was angry and he deserved it. “I decided to give you a chance Raph because I know what’s like to need a friend! I…” Her voice and gaze dropped. “I just never thought that trust would lead to this...to me loving you, as painful as it is.” He couldn’t move even as his mind reeled. She...she loved him? How? Why?

She loved him and he had left.

He found his voice as he closed the space between them, taking her hand in his. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I let ya down.” That was putting it lightly. “In way too many ways, and you paid the price.” He couldn’t stop his fingers from brushing against her scars as he tilted her face up. “Can...can ya forgive me, doll? I can do better, I can try to be enough…”

“You always have been enough, Raph.” Her gaze lifted, meeting his. It was warm with the love that washed away the hurt and the anger. “Of course I forgive you…”

He brushed a light kiss against her lips, tasting coconut, tears, and forgiveness.

“I love ya.” He muttered against her lips. “I love ya so much.”

“I love you too.” She whispered, and with that kiss, he was good enough.

***Additionally***

“What are ya dressed so nice for?”

“My cousin’s wedding. She has me as a bridesmaid.”

“Who’s the groomsman?”

“My ex.”

“...what?!”

I have an insane thirst for smut with CI Kirishima in the back of his truck🥵

♚Crimson|Ink [Backseat Loving] Drabble

♚ pairing: Crimson|Ink Kiri x Reader

♚ author comments: Oh I literally gasped - oh my god I can’t believe I never thought of this!!! thank you! 😭 okay here we go!

♚ cw/tw: unprotected sex, backseat sex, trickster kiri, nipple/tit play, dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, probably hints of size kink, most def kiri got a kink for you wearing his clothes

☛ Obviously happens during a shop run! Deku was supposed to go with you but Kiri had other plans in mind and nearly knocked the poor dude over in his excitement to volunteer for him.

☛ “Oh Deku actually can’t go, he’s got some things to do here so I’ll just go with you little one.” 

☛Deku has a confused look on his face and goes to protest but Kiri very obviously elbows him in the ribs and nearly makes Deku topple over from the power behind it. So Kiri forgets his own strength sometimes, sue him.

☛ The message comes across clearly to Deku then and he just scratches the back of his neck and chuckles through the pain. “I - I do actually, so yeah Ei should go with you.”

☛You really don’t care who goes you just know you need to go now because sooner or later you’re going to be very hungry and shop runs are always your favorite cause it means going out for lunch. And the honorary shopping buddy that tags along always pays, thems just the rules.

☛Half an hour later you and Kiri have made two stops and your stomach starts to growl. Kirishima laughs and looks over at you apparently dying of starvation in the passenger seat. He suggests trying out a new place that just opened and you are all game for it. You don’t care, food is food and you want it now!

☛On the way though, Kiri pulls over in the middle of nowhere. He claims that the tire light went off and he needs to get out real quick to check it. You nod and go back to playing on your phone, more than happy to stay inside the warm truck.

☛A few minutes later he’s back but ends up crawling into the backseat. You turn in the front passenger seat to watch as he seems to search around the back for something. 

☛“What are you looking for Ei?”

- Kiri pouts a little before looking at you and shrugs. “I usually keep a small gauge back her for checking the tire pressure but I can’t find it. It may have been kicked under your seat actually, do you mind reaching back here and looking. You’re much smaller than me, I can barely move around much as it is back it.”

☛Without question you unbuckle your seat belt and go to do as asked of you. But the moment your top half is over the console and you go to start searching, Kirishima grabs your wrist and halts you.

☛You grunt and try to pry yourself free but Kiri only chuckles and is grinning at you dangerously. Eyes narrow at him and you ask what is going on and he only looks away from you and back towards the front. You follow and grit your teeth when you realize that the dashboard is free of any maintenance lights. 

☛“Eijirou Kirishima, what the fuck!”

☛ The entire thing was a rouse that Kirishima very quickly came up with in order to get you right where he wanted you. Which was in the backseat of his truck and straddling his lap. It doesn’t take much effort for Kirishima to make it happen which goes over almost without incident. In the midst of him hauling you into his lap and you not being prepared for it, you do manage to knock heads together but thankfully it isn’t with much force. 

☛ You whine his name, hands pounding at his chest in annoyance and a pout on your lips. “Ei I’m hungry!”

☛“I know baby, I know,” he coo’s very sweetly with the added bonus of his very large hands grabbing your hips in order to pull you closer to him. “Just give me a couple minutes with you, be a good girl for me and I’ll take you anywhere you wanna eat.”

☛“That much is a fucking given, but why,” you questioned breathlessly once Kirishima’s mouth is upon your neck and kissing softly but biting roughly. “What’s gotten into you?”

☛Kirishima shakes his head in the crook of your neck as his hands dip under the giant sweater you’re wearing - his sweater. The thing swallows you and hangs to your thighs. The arms of it are so long it gives you sweater paws and the neck of it just barely exposes your beautiful throat that will soon be covered in his marks.

☛He never pegged himself for having this sort of fetish, if you can even call it that, over you wearing his clothes. But the way you look, the way you look even smaller and sweeter in them, had been driving him crazy since you first put the damn thing on that morning at home. Kirishima thought he could chill out about it, thought it was just some weird fascination he had over it or extreme case of adoration but the longer the day went on and the more he focused on how the sweater looked on you. the more it drove him mad and crazy horny. 

☛All Kiri wanted to do was to fuck you in nothing but this sweater - was that too much to ask?

☛“I’ve just been dying to get you alone all day and I found a window so I went with it,” he replied with a growl as his hands cupped and squeezed your breasts under the sweater. You let out a needy moan and let your head hang to the side in order to allow more access for Kiri.

☛“You’re just so fucking adorable wearing this. So small and soft, sweet and so so precious. I don’t know why but seeing you in my sweater and having you like this, it’s fucking me up little one and I just need to get this out of my system is all. Is that okay with you baby?”

☛“Yes sir,” is all you manage and Kirishima is on you more than he already is.

☛ You gasp when sharp teeth bite hard at your neck and hardened hands are shredding the bra that’s keeping Kirishima from having more fun with your breasts. The little display of strength doesn’t fall to make you wet between the legs and rut against the growing erection underneath you. 

☛The sweater gets pushed up and out of the way so that Kirishima can take one of your nipples into his mouth while his fingers tease at the other. Both hands knead at the thick warm flesh and very quickly you’re panting and rolling your hips like crazy against him.

☛You whine and pout about how your jeans are pissing you off but Kiri doesn’t stop what he’s doing. Instead he alternates his mouth back and forth, sucking and biting at your nipples until they’re overly sensitive and you’re almost recoiling from his touch to them. It’s only then that Kiri stops and goes about removing your jeans in the small space.

☛Once they’re off, he undoes his own and pushing them down until they rest at his feet on the floor. His cock is so hard it almost hurts and you lick your lips at the sight of pre-cum beading at the head of it.

☛Kirishima would love more than anything to have you between his knees and trying your hardest to take him down your throat but that can come another time. Right now he has one goal and its to have you ride him while wearing his sweater.

☛You don’t waste anymore time with foreplay, you’re wet enough from his torture on your breasts that there’s no need for spit. And just as he did with your bra, Kirishima takes it upon himself to rip your panties to shred too. 

☛“You ass, I need panties especially with the amount of cum that monster likes to produce!”

☛Kirishima groans and kisses you roughly, lifting your hips with ease before setting them back down slowly and lowering you onto his cock. You moan into his mouth and pull away to look at him with a instant fucked out expression. It tends to happen when your boyfriend has a cock with the thickness of a god damn soda can that is also pierced in multiple places.

☛“You know I kind of like the thought of you walking back into the shop with my cum leaking out of you and staining those jeans,” Kiri groans as he starts to buck his hips up, sinking his cock deeper inside of you. “But don’t worry that cute little face, just keep my sweater on and it’ll hide that. It’ll be our secret, okay little one?”

Season 4 Ep 12 - providence

Why does this bossy Mohawk woman look so much like Jenny?

John Grey and Brianna, now publicly betrothed, go to have some words with Brianna’s rapist. Brianna’s pregnant belly is not to be missed, but she is sporting a nice pair of new earrings.

Is Aunt Jocasta in the house just flipping her shit? I imagine her screaming internally: The baby is almost here! Why aren’t they getting to the church already!!!

I’m very curious about this social convention. Obviously children must be born in wedlock. But if you are married a month ago and then pop out a fully gestated child, does nobody raise an eyebrow? Do the town gossips just say “oh, she got in just under the wire. Good for her. No need to concern ourselves further”. Or would you need to move to a new town where no one knows you and then introduce yourself-“ hello this is my spouse and child. please do not ask us about our anniversary date.” The show seems to insist that as long as some husband is around, even very recently acquired, no one cares about the particulars. This has been the shows attitude about Mary Randall, Jamie’s mom, Louise, even Geillis, and now presumably Brianna. I remain skeptical about this.

Sometimes a prison is a little leafed hut. Sometimes a prison is Catholic doctrine. Roger’s prison companion is a very conflicted foreign priest who is being extremely self-flagellating about his worthiness to perform religious rites, particularly those involving his own baby son and the tribe is extremely pissed. They say hey, you brought us this stupid religion that we didn’t ask for and now you don’t want to allow us to do the religious stuff that you said prevents eternal misery. Get some holy water ready or we will bring the pain, they say.

Would you get your ear cut off instead of performing a dodgy baptism? A dodgy baptism is the easiest thing in the world!

Roger has a long monologue about how he is an idiot. Agreed. No arguments here. Ah, the lesson Roger thinks he needs to learn is to be more selfish and look out for number one, which has kind of been part of his problem all along. He is already selfish. Every bit of romance he has done has been at least a bit selfish at its core.

Roger wants this holy masochist of a cell mate to escape with him before his scheduled punishment. They vastly underestimated how long it takes to dig a tunnel. There is no escaping with your stupid priest friend. It’s torture time.

Now it’s Bonnet time

We will have our prison chat with pregnant Bri and too precious Grey, but the regulators are planning to blow up the prison. This is suspenseful. You better not harm them! Like, if one bad thing happens to John Grey, so help me...

Even if you expect Bonnet to hang soon, probably not best practice to give an evil man your full name when you have the luxury of anonymity, Brianna.

This man has been keeping a ruby in his teeth?!?!? Whatever, Bonnet gives Brianna a gem for the maintenance of the child he presumably fathered, but I want to know the logistics of how you keep a ruby in your teeth!do you take it out at mealtimes?

John is a very good liar and makes himself more and more marriage material with each passing minute, homosexuality notwithstanding.

Blowing up the prison obviously brings chaos. Bonnet will of course escape because some idiot left the keys on the floor. You are gonna regret giving that man your first and last name, Brianna.

Roger tries something noble, But it just means that instead of one person dying very slowly, two people die very quickly

Also, my personal fuck you to the leaf hut boys for making the above happen.

514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.​I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.​Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.​Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!​I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.​What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.​How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.​I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.​Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.​I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.​My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.​Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.​How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.​What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.​Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.​There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.​What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.​What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.​Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.​Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.​What do you call a french pig? Porque.​What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.​Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.​How do trees access the internet? They log on.​Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.​Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.​The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.​I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.​I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.​I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.​Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.​I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.​Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.​Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.​I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.​The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.​What does a house wear? A dress.​Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.​I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.​Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.​Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.​What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.​A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.​What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!​What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.​At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!​An untalented gymast walks into a bar.​Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.​I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.​My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.​Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.​Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?​Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.​Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.​The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.​Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.​My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.​Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.​Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.​Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.​Models of dragons are not to scale.​Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.​Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.​Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.​A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.​I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.​People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.​Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.​I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.​I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.​What do you call a young musician? A minor.​Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.​If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?​I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.​Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.​I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.​I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.​I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.​I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.​Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.​What do you mean June is over? Julying.​Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.​These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.​The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.​Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.​Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.​A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!​I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.​The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.​My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.​I, for one, like Roman numerals.​How do mountains see? They peak.​The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.​This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!​Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.​I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.​The earth's rotation really makes my day.​If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?​Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.​Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.​What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.​I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.​After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.​Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.​A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.​I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.​He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.​Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.​Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.​If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.​I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.​A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.​The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.​Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.​If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?​I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.​Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.​I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.​The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.​The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor​I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.​The display of still-life art was not at all moving!​On Halloween October is nearly Octover.​Pig puns are so boaring.​Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.​What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.​What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.​How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.​Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.​The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.​What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.​One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."​How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.​When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.​When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.​If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"​Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.​If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.​Can February March? No, but April May.​I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.​What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.​The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.​So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!​Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.​A backwards poem writes inverse.​Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.​I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.​The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.​Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.​There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.​I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.​Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.​The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.​Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!​When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.​Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.​The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.​Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.​I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.​What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.​Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.​When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.​Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.​Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.​You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!​Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!​I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.​Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!​What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!​Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.​The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.​A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.​The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.​All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.​Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.​Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.​I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.​The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.​The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.​Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.​That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.​Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.​Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.​People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.​I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.​What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.​What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!​Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.​Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!​I really look up to my tall friends.​I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.​Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.​It takes guts to make a sausage.​Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!​What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!​How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it​What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!​Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!​What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!​Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!​What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?​Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!​What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!​What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!​What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smells​Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!​What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!​Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!​Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!​What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!​What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!​How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!​What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!​What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!​How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!​Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!​What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!​Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.​What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!​What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!​Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!​What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!​What letter is always wet? The C!​How do you throw a space party? You planet.​How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.​Nope. Unintended.​The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.​A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."​A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."​Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.​What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.​The broom swept the nation away.​I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.​What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.​What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.​I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.​Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.​Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”​Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.​Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.​What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.​Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.​What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.​What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.​What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.​A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.​After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.​I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.​To write with a broken pencil is pointless.​I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.​I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.​What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.​What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.​How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.​The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.​What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.​What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.​The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.​Sausage puns are the wurst.​What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.​How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.​Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.​What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.​What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.​Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.​What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.​What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.​Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.​Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.​Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.​What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.​What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.​What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.​Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.​What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

The Awakening - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

At times it seemed like it was only yesterday that Elon went off to Texas, and only a moment since that fateful bucket of flowers arrived at her door. But the empty spot next to her at night told Sabrina in no uncertain terms that Elon was not coming back or changing his lifestyle any time soon. After all, this is all she knew, lonely nights and waiting home for someone.

Sabrina opened the door to her walk-in closet to find a black gift box sitting in one of the counters. She reached for the card hanging from it, it was from Elon. Inside of it, there was a long white silk slit dress.

“For Kimbal’s wedding” Sabrina thought.

She ran one of her hands through the soft fabric, imagining herself wearing it but most importantly, she thought about the sound of water slamming the floor coming out of the bathroom. Elon was finally home.

The mirror in the bedroom reflected a beautiful image, an ethereal figure highlighted by the smooth nature of the dress it was wearing. But when Sabrina looked at it all she saw was a body and appearance that never fully felt like her own.

“You ready, love?” Elon said stepping into the room, his bone-colored tux looking impeccable.

“Yeah” Sabrina answered nodding.

Elon let out a deep breath while he reached for her hand, suddenly wanting to feel her close to him.

“Are you aware of how amazing you look?” he said rubbing his thumb on her soft skin. He felt a bolt of electricity traveling inside of him, a sensation he needed more of.

“You too, babe” Sabrina said kissing his hand lovingly.

“We should just stay here instead, I could think of a couple ways to pass time” Elon said.

“Shut up” Sabrina smirked.

The darkness in the room began receding, replaced by a creeping faint orange light. The sunset snuck up on Elon and Sabrina, who were sitting at a large table with his family. The event was taking place outdoors, in a neatly decorated white tent that matched the dress code for all the guests. The sight looked romantic in the dim golden light, the mutual agreement of two souls wanting to be together. “Adorable” Sabrina thought watching Kimbal and his -now- wife dancing to some cheesy love song. And so, she buried her face into the side of Elon’s neck and closed her eyes for a moment. It had been so long since she held his body, so warm and full of life. But even now, his body was different than the rest. All of those other guys did nothing to fill the sinking pit inside of her. His body gave her a sense of joy, excitement, and peace. She relished every dying second, being there next to him. Time was suddenly infinite, but in short supply.

“I’ll be right back baby” Elon whispered kissing Sabrina’s head and standing up to get lost in the multitude of people. The seat next to her was quickly occupied by his blue eyed sister.

“I’m so glad you’re back in the family!” Tosca said with a bright smile. “We seriously need to catch up.”

“I thought I stopped being your favorite” Sabrina said teasing her.

“Never!” Tosca laughed “You’re the only one that makes Elon happy, you should get him to take some days off too”

“Yeah I know” Sabrina said frowning “I’m trying”

Sabrina scanned the room looking for her loved one and was surprised to find out he was looking right back at her. She smiled as he motioned her to come closer.

Sabrina gave tosca a warm smile and excused herself before standing up and walking towards Elon. After introducing her to his close friends he grabbed her waist and guided her to the middle of the dance floor. Something highly unlikely of him.

“So you’re a dancer now” Sabrina said placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Yeah it’s one of my many hobbies” Elon said smiling. “I wanted to dance with my girl, is that a sin?”

She leaned in and gave him a kiss before resting her head on his chest.

Every bit about him ravished her imagination, entering her fantasies with titillating thoughts of his mind and body. The way he laughed, the way he smirked. The way his hands were resting on the back of her waist. The way he looked into her eyes. Every little bit of it, she kept consuming, falling deeper into a hole she wasn’t sure she could get out of.

“I love you” Elon suddenly whispered.

Sabrina felt her heart skip a bit.

“You do?” She asked.

“I always have” He answered.

She looked up to see his face but her eyes quickly focused on a familiar figure close to them.

“What is she doing here?” Sabrina said taking a step back.

Elon turned around to find his former wife standing in front of him. The blonde woman looked angry.

“What’s happening here?” Camille asked staring at Sabrina with disgust.

“Why are you here?” Sabrina asked bitterly.

“He invited me” Camille said pointing at Elon.

Sabrina searched for Elon’s gaze only to find him looking as surprised as she was.

“I-I might have invited her” he finally said “I forgot about it honestly”

“Fine, then your little escort can leave, she’s only embarrassing you anyway” Camille said.

“Camille” Elon muttered looking distressed.

Sabrina felt a sharp pain go through her as he watched Elon brush the entire situation off.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go” Sabrina said.

She walked through the tent and quickly said goodbye and apologized to the newlyweds for leaving early, then she hurried until she reached the front part of the venue.

“Sabrina wait up” Elon said coming behind her pulling her arm.

“Don’t touch me” she said.

“Are we really doing this now?” he said, frustrated. “Can you fucking listen to me for once?” Elon yelled.

“No!” Sabrina snapped back. “And don’t yell at me”

Sabrina continued walking only to stop and turn back to face him.

“You have no idea how humiliated I feel right now! And you’re acting like its not a big deal” Sabrina said.

“It’s an honest mistake, I forgot” Elon said. “You always blow things out of proportion”

“You’re so fucking insensitive” Sabrina yelled holding tears back.

“And you’re so fucking high maintenance I don’t know what else to do to keep you happy” he yelled.

“Then do nothing!” Sabrina said as she finally caught a taxi and jumped inside of it.

The ride to her house was painfully silent, she strictly devoted herself to look through the window. Love. The reason she disliked that word was that it meant too much for her, far more than anyone could ever understand.

When Sabrina arrived at her place she felt comfortable enough to let herself cry. And so she did. She climbed the stairs to get to her bedroom but when she opened the door even with her -now- blurry vision she saw all of the room ravaged.

A pair of hands grabbed her abruptly and slammed her against the wall. A knot began to form in her stomach as she quickly became aware of what was happening. The tall dark figure of a man now standing in front of her with one hand over her mouth so she could not scream.

“Quiet” the man whispered. He was too close to Sabrina, so close she could feel his hot breath touching her skin. She instantly felt the need to throw up.

“I wasn’t expecting you home soon” he continued.

The horrific stranger was wearing a ski mask and the only thing visible were his brown eyes.

Sabrina tried to free herself from his grasp but he was stronger than her.

“He’s going to kill me. Or worse” she thought.

“Be a good girl and don’t fight back” he said as he slowly moved his hand away from her mouth.

She took advantage of the moment and kicked him as hard as she could to run towards the exit of the house. He followed her through the staircase until he finally grabbed her by the hair pulling her back to him. Sabrina still fighting back. She felt a strong hand punching her in the face and then she passed out.

The smell of leather and old rope woke her up. She was being tied down to a chair, her face now bruised after being hit earlier. She panicked. She wanted to take it all back, the discussion with Elon, what happened at the wedding, she wanted to still be dancing close to him.

“Please don’t hurt me” Sabrina cried. “I can give you money I-I can give you whatever you want”

“I don’t want money! I want you” he said tightening the knot on her right hand and moving to the next one. He looked up to see her and he quickly approached her to give her a kiss. His mouth felt like two worms pressing down on Sabrina’s lips. She bit him. That shocked him enough to make him take a few steps back and Sabrina managed to free herself before running to the closet and locking the door behind her. Still shaking and with an acid sickness on the back of her throat she grabbed the house phone that was hanging from the wall, thanking whoever decided to put it there. After calling 911 and explaining the situation to the police she still needed to wait for them to come over. She instantly felt small in that big room, like a little child that needed her stuffed animal to deal with the nightmares. Her mind rationally thought about calling Elon, and so she did. She called him about a dozen times before she gave up, and he didn’t answer a single time. Sabrina felt helpless, the security of his love was no longer there and she longed for his arms to be around her.

Approximately an hour later, not Elon’s but Alec’s arms were around Sabrina. The pair now sitting in the steps of the main entrance of her house. The red and blue lights of a police car shinning through Sabrina’s tearful eyes.

“You’re safe now, I got you” Alec said, trying to comfort his long time friend.

The man who had broken into Sabrina’s place was the one responsible for the situation at her office too, he was now being taken to the police station.

The lights of a car came flashing across the front yard of Sabrina’s house. The passenger’s door quickly opened to reveal a very distraught Elon. Sabrina tightened her grip on Alec, she was way too traumatized to be dealing with their problems right now.

“Are you okay?” Elon said. “I-“ He looked for the right words to say but no words could describe how powerless he felt. How sorry he was.

“She’s fine” Alec said clenching his jaw.

“It’s fine Alec” Sabrina reassured him and turned to face Elon “And I’m fine”.

A wave of sensations came crashing down on her, he was her safety net, and when she needed him and he wasn’t there it felt like falling into a hard rock floor.

“Ms. Vanderbilt, we need some information” A police officer interrupted, cutting the tension that was building between the three of them.

“Alec, could you?” Sabrina asked.

Alec gave her a resentful look before standing up and walking away with the officer.

“I’m sorry for not picking up the phone” Elon said.

“It’s okay” she said.

But it was not okay.

He sat down next to her. Elon analyzed Sabrina, he looked at her gestures, her eyes, he felt a sudden urge to kiss her, to hold her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was, tell her that everything will be okay and that she can trust him, that no matter what happens he won’t ever leave her cause he loves her so much and she makes him so happy and because his feelings for her are the most sincere thing inside of him.

“What I said earlier, I meant it” Elon said. “No matter what, I’m here with you now... And I love you”

————————

sorry for taking so long again:) I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys like it!! Thanks for reading this thing 🤍

🤍🤍 @xjjlex , @ourloveisforthelovely 🤍🤍

Chapter 1 Snippet

Here’s my rough draft for an introduction/first chapter. Thoughts are greatly appreciated!!!

There was nothing in the world quite like working on cars or trucks. Especially when they were your own, your baby.

Most people see car repairs and upgrades and maintenance as dirty work, something that is expensive and physically strenuous. Nothing more than a hassle or an inconvenience.

But not Aria, no, never Aria.

There was something satisfying about taking something that was broken and fixing it, or taking something that wasn’t broken and just making it better. But it was more than that. There was just almost a magic to the smell of grease and oil, the sound of blaring work music and impact guns and the gentle clicking of a ratchet, and the focus required to accomplish anything. It didn’t matter what strife had settled itself deep into Aria’s bones, the garage would always serve her as a sanctuary.

Until the wrench slipped and she cracked the skin of her knuckles open on a stupid-motherfucking-piece-of-shit bracket.

But nothing could be perfect, could it? Such was life. Aria was happy to take the callouses and cuts and scrapes and burns if it meant clearing her mind in the same way that meditation might for some.

She wasn’t able to dwell on it too long, however, as she felt the distinct feeling of somebody right behind her. When she turned, the snarl on her lips danced its way into a smile. Haruka, the best friend that she had had for a majority of her life, stood thereーcrouched there, rather, as she had only lifted her truck up high enough for herself to stand under comfortablyーwith a dirty rag and a roll of electrical tape in his hands. He stayed silent as he roughly grabbed her hand and wrapped the rag around it and taped it into place. Her friend loathed using the rag and tape to patch wounds; it was unsanitary and it was a total mystery to him how she didn’t get more infections, but he knew her well enough to know that she’d simply scoff at the idea of using antibiotics and proper bandages. The band-aids will just come loose and get in my fucking way.

“Thanks.” She beamed up at him.

“Almost done for tonight? I’m hungry.” His voice was flat and quick, not unlike the hiss of a snake.

She raised a brow. “When aren’t you hungry?” She couldn’t hide the teasing in her tone. When she received no more than a vicious glare from his kelly green eyes, she sighed and pulled another rag from her back pocket to idly wipe the grease and oil and other miscellaneous fluids from her hands. “The exhaust is ready to go in. Hold it up while I get all the hangers and clamps on?”

He wordlessly walked over to one of the lift posts and held the button to raise the truck further. Running a still-dirty hand through her bangs, she rolled her eyes. Aria walked to her other love, her toolbox, and grabbed the step ladder hung up on the side and brought it over.

Damn Haruka and his stupidly extreme tallness.

Haruka may not have shared her love of automobiles and mechanics, well, that wasn’t exactly right; he damn near hated it. What Aria viewed as her peace, Haruka could only see as complete chaos. Sure, cars were convenient to use, but they were a hassle to own. Fuel, maintenance, repairs, breakdowns, insurance, et cetera, et cetera. He had never understood her passion for it, but there was no denying that he was an excellent helper. He was quick and after many years of watching her work her way around the shop, he knew what most of the tools were and how to use them.

Aria had already assembled the exhaust into one piece so he picked it up neatly off of the ground and slid the dual tailpipes over the rear axle before settling the pipe he couldn’t name to save his life up against the catalytic converter. He held it there while she tightened the clamp into place to hold it there before moving to attach the hangers to the frame, humming along to her God forsaken death metal the entire time.

It only took a few minutes for her to get everything into place and she was nearly vibrating with excitement as she raced to pick up her tools and lower the truck. She was dying to hear the way it sounded.

It should, if all of her research had been correct, be loud as all get up.

Haruka found himself also interested in it, though it was for entirely different reasons; when she had purchased the truck, she had initially deleted most of the exhaust system. But after a very expensive ticket, she relented into putting a new exhaust on. Being Aria, however, it couldn’t just be a stock system. It had to be over the top.

Once the truck was on the ground she hurried into the driver’s seat to start it. She poked her head from the cab, bottle green hair falling messily in front of her eyes, as she grinned widely at the other. “What do you think?” She tossed out over the roar of her truck.

It was definitely quieter but still significantly more obnoxious than a normal car. He shrugged.

She rolled her eyes once more before shutting the truck down. “Fine, crabby pants.” She stuck her tongue out at him before hopping out. “Let me clean up quick, then we’ll go and feed you.”

Despite being messy and chaotic in general, the young mechanic took time to clean and put her tools away. She liked her toolbox being organized. The box and everything it contained was extraordinarily expensive and she had already learned the hard way that the cost alone was enough to make losing tools a total tragedy.

Except for her ten millimeter sockets, as she had long since accepted that those would always go missing.

Once her toolbox was locked and wiped down, she headed straight to the large foot-operated sink to scrub the grainy soap onto her hands and up her arms. She checked her reflection briefly in the mirror to make sure that her face was clean as well. Thickly lashed eyes the color of pale honey proudly lit up to find that she was actually pretty presentable. She knew that she was a messy worker, so this was all around a job well done.

When she returned, she found Haruka to be standing there, arms crossed tightly over his chest and a scowl adorning what would be a really pretty face otherwise. She hadn’t expected any less.

“Let’s go. In the mood for anything in particular?”

When she had asked, it had been out of a place of general politeness. Haruka never wanted anything in particular. His appetite was peculiar and frankly, downright frightening.

They had gone to a nearby buffetーwhich they had gotten to by driving in her truck, windows rolled down so she could enjoy the sound of her fancy exhaustーas it was always their go-to restaurant.

With Aria’s help, Haruka was able to load up an unreasonable amount of plates with absolute mountains of varying foods, much to the surprised looks of anybody standing nearby.

Aria picked neatly at the salad she had put together while the other literally inhaled enough food to feed a family of ten.

Nothing new there.

She remembered her earlier conversation with Father Gabriel vividly and it had left her unsettled. Haruka was strong. They all were. But Haruka was especially gifted. He should be able to handle himself with ease. And in the event that he couldn’t, nothing would force Aria from his side.

“Father has a feeling that this year is going to be harder. It’s almost...ya’ know...that time.” She blurted out suddenly.

When he did no more than roll his eyes, she snarled. “This is serious, Haruka. If Father Gabriel is right, we need to be prepared. We only have a few days.”

He set his fork down and carefully wiped at his lips with a napkin. “I know that. I’m prepared.”

She frowned then. Of all his nastier traits, arrogance was the true star. It was what she feared would lead to something bad happening to him. She knew that it was a hypocritical fear, as his arrogance could only be paralleled by her own, but Haruka was her best friend. She couldn’t risk anything bad happening to him.

He sighed heavily and glared at her. “Demons will come forth from Gehinnom and for the next thirty-one days the target will be on my back. I’ll shoot the demons, maybe let you hack a few apart. What makes that different from the last few years of this?”

She rested her fists in her lap, flexing them open and closed, open and closed. “Father Gabriel thinks it’ll be worse.” Her voice was a low hiss as it pushed through her gritted teeth as she repeated herself.

He shrugged and leaned back into the booth then. “And Father Gabriel knows all.”

His sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, all it managed to do was further anger Aria. She took a deep breath. Middle of a restaurant, she reminded herself. Getting arrested for throttling him through a wall in public wouldn’t help.

Neither spoke as they glowered at each other, seemingly unaware of the nervous woman who had approached with the intentions of clearing their table of empty dishes.

“Let’s go.” She ground out before sliding from the booth suddenly. Without a second glance towards him, she stalked out of the restaurant from the truck.

It wasn’t long before Haruka joined her, a lit cigarette already hanging from his lips. Her eyes rounded in surprise when she peeked up at him; for the first time in ages, he was smirking as he watched her.

“What?” She barked out, slamming the driver’s door shut as she scooted herself into her seat.

He turned his head from his own seat to look at her. Before saying anything, he took his time rolling the window back down and ashing his cigarette. When he faced her once more, finally, he found her face had flushed red with anger.

She was too easy.

“You’re afraid.” He said suddenly.

“Am not!” She shouted back, eyes blazing now.

“You’ve never lied before. Don’t start.”

“What if I am?” Her knuckles wrapped so tightly over the steering wheel that they went white with the strain. She didn’t like the way her voice was beginning to tremble and crack.

As quickly as his playful mood had come, it was replaced with something softer. “That’s dumb.” He murmured before looking out the window and away from her.

Her chest heaved with the exhale of a deep breath that she hadn’t realized that she had been holding. With a steadier hand, she turned the key in the ignition and started the truck up. “If you don’t get killed by a demon, I am definitely going to end up slicing you to bits.” She muttered as she started driving.

From the corner of her eye she saw him give a small shake of his head, deep hair swaying with the movement. “I would love to see you try.”