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#'uh what you think id want to?' him: idk i just want to say that its not good and you shouldn't do it please promise me

mxqdii · 5 months

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colby brock x reader who gets really shy around him, stutters over her words and just goes red in the face. and colby like is conpletely oblivious on what he does to her.😭 n she hasnt told anyone about her feelings toward him but say sam or one of her friends confronts her ab it and she like just denys it n stuff, u can chose the end but id love it if it was like friends to lovers and extremely fluffy(:

like you like that - c.b

pairings: colby brock x reader

summary: confessing feelings to colby 🙈

warning(s): fluff, confessing feels, idk

not proofread

"can i talk to you?" the blonde boy says, interrupting me and colbys conversation

"sure.." i say, getting up from my spot on the couch, following sam into another room.

i've been living with sam and colby for a while now, katrina, sams girlfriend, lives here too, we all do, its fun.

i love living with my best friends, friends, we're all friends, i have to remember that, friends-

"y/n!" sam yells, snapping me out of my trance

"yeah- what, sorry." i say, looking up at him

"when the fuck are you gonna admit your feelings to colby?" he asks and i groan

"i have no idea what you're talking about sam, you and kat need to lay off about this" i whisper-yell

"are you guys good in there?" i hear colby say, opening the door

he leans on the doorframe and i feel all words leave my brain

"uh- y-yeah yeah! we're fine! just, go back to what you were doing!" i frantically ramble, pushing him out and closing the door

i shut it, leaning against it putting my head against it, a sigh leaving my lips in relief.

"i have no idea what you're talking about sam!" he mocks and i groan, i forgot he was in here

"okay, okay, fine." i put my hands up in defeat, waiting for him to explain how i can confess to my best friend, that i live with, without ruining things.

"listen, i've known colby for years, and i know he likes you, just tell him!" sam says and i whine

"no! telling him is scary, even if he does like me, he's gonna have to tell me himself."

--------

"im gonna go to the store, do any of you wanna come?" colby asks

"y/n will go" sam says and i glare at him, giving him a, 'i'm gonna kill you' look

"okay, you ready?" colby asks

"y-yeah! lets go." i say, almost running towards him.

we start heading for the door and i look back seeing kat and sam giggling, flipping them off before leaving.

colby opens the car door for me, also reaching over to buckle my seatbelt.

the drive was about 10 minutes, the first 5 minutes in the car being silent, the next 5 though? definitely not silent.

"can i ask you something?" he says and i slowly turn to look at him,

"yeah of course" i reply

"why are you always so nervous around me?" he asks and i feel my face go red

how the fuck do i go about this, ugh.

"i don't know" i say shyly

"i think you do baby" he says and i die on spot, what the fuck is happening

"i- fuck- i like you okay, and i'm sorry i just- i didn't wanna tell you because i know you don't like me back and i don't wanna make things awkward and-" i ramble, not knowing how to stop my train of thought.

"hey who said i didn't like you back, didn't sam literally tell you i liked you?" he asks

"oh.. yeah actually he did- wait how do you even know that?" i look over at him

"the walls are very thin baby"

i look down, embarrassed.

"hey, it's okay, for what its worth- i really like you too, a lot. and i'm stupid for not telling you sooner." he says

"really?" i say, looking back up at him

"yeah." he looks over at me

we hold eye contact for a while, then it stops.

the next thing i hear is sirens, feeling someones hands on me, coming in and out of conciousness.

then it hits me,

we were in a car crash.

TAGLIST: @opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm @theperson-nextdoor @prettysturniolo @its-jennarose

A/N: you said it could end however i wanted it to!! lmk if u want part 2 😘😘

#madispeaks!#colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #fluff #sam golbach fanfic #sam and colby fic #sam and colby x reader #colby brock imagine #colby brock x y/n #sam golbach x reader

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emsgoodthinkin · 1 year

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the band-aid to my wounds

Older!Eddie Munson x naive!Fem reader - eventual twins Steve Harrington x reader x Kurt Kunckle series| pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 … TBC

Summary: After stumbling into an old barn after being stranded by your freshly new ex boyfriend, you wake up strangely in a room..that isn't yours..

warnings: talks of cheating, abuse, angst, slight stockholm syndrome at a glance, anxiety, childhood trauma, parent problems; daddy issues, eventual smut, cursing, drinking, smoking, perviness, slight dub-con, miscommunications, blood mention

word count: idk? 1k?

June 12th, 1988 the roads were closed off.

I have no idea why im still together with this asshole, why am i so stupid? oh because id do anything for people to love and not leave me. Looking at him now..hands beating the steering wheel, veins popping through his temples..not to mention his breath. Ashton my oh so loving, narcissist, no good boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years, basically high school sweethearts. Went from flirty glaces, to lab partners, to collage students with an alcohol addiction. Mainly his addiction...he got me started on it.

Ashton basically took me in with his fatherly like protectiveness when we first got together. He was walking me to my front door after a bowling date he asked me out to my sophomore year, of course i said yes.; until the front door opened. Uh oh, dads home; Bill. The moment the door opened i watched my father tackle Ashton to the ground without so much as a reason screaming words like "get off my property, boys like you should be dead in a gutter, ill kill you"...

Lets just say that date night was a bit too eventful for my liking.

My dad always had a problem with Ashton because he went to highschool with his father. Ashtons dad was a bully back in the day, made my dads life a living hell.. took everything away from him. the girl, the looks, the job..

Dave, Ashtons father, was caught making out with Shannon, my dads ex lover but also first love. Dave knew he had the upper hand when it came to getting the things he wanted. Hell, Shannon seduced him into it. Shannon was only with my dad for the money. Got knocked up but gave him the baby and ran away to be with his dad. As you can see I am that baby now today.

I made a promise to Ashton after sneaking him to my bedroom window that same night cleaning his wounds; that it was me and him against the world. He knew about me and my parents relationship. How my step-mother only has good things to say about me in a room full of people, but how she degrades me behind closed doors. How my dads drinking problem gave him alcohol poisoning, twice' and about his anger problems. You'd think being in a household that is always loud would help you shape up to loud sounds in the future. Boy was that theory proven wrong.

anytime someone yells or raises their tone, you're immediately in fight or flight response. tense..anxious. You hate going to basketball games just for that reason. Its uncomfortable.. and he knew that, but apparently in this moment, he didn't give a fuck-

"Did you hear me??" Ashton says impatiently. "No im sorry, i cant hear when you mumble.." you reply

you also hated when people uttered things under their breath.

dad does that shit.

"Don't be smart with me y/n, ill leave you right here,right now in the middle of the fucking road

"Yeah whatever Ashton, just stop talking to me and drive" feeling the breaks pull forward and in a flash he was out of the drivers seat, and already pulling you out of the passenger-

"WHAT THE FUCK" i yell- what the fuck are you doing Ashton?”

“Shut up!” he smacks me. Your eyes widen in more shock than fear over anything. “Did you j-just hit me?” i ask with a scratched voice--

“I told you more than once not to back talk me didnt i?”

“i didn’t.. it was once and i stopped ashton”-

-“You’ve done it all goddamn night, accusing me of cheating, clinging onto me when i ran into Tommy, i told you to give me some fucking space --i interrupt him.

“YOU did cheat on me you asshole!! That bitch was fucking bragging about it in the bathroom”—

“Do you really think after what 4 years-“6 actually“ i say pissing him off further. he looks at you angrily

He sighs. “Do you really think after years of being together, i would do that to you?” he say looking down at the ground sadly; making you instatly regret your words

“..no-no of course not i just thou”-

-“You thought wrong! he snaps-I would never do that to you baby..y/n?” he says letting go of the grip on my arms, caressing my cheek-“..I know you get a little confused sometimes, its okay come here” he says pulling you into a deep hug

“..im sorry ash”-

“shh” he coos.

“I really thought—what the fuck is that?” you shove him away

“Y-you piece of shit!!” you pull around back collar piece of his shirt up to his face; showing him the peach colored lipstick stain

“Are you fucking serious Ashton?” his eyes widen and stomach drops when he sees the prominent evidence of his past events—

“B-baby look-“

“No! fuck you were done!”

He grabs me closer, “No we fucking arent- ive gave you everything! he starts shouting making you flinch

P-please stop yelling at me! you plea tears rolling down your face

“Just—here” he opens the car door “just get back in and ill explain on the way”—

“No.” you shove past him running and crying

“Y/N come back here!. its too dark—

“ i dont care leave me alone!”

“Y/n theres crazy people out here..!”

you stop in your tracks, turning back to say- “You’re the crazy person!”

he laughs. “Oh im crazy? Ill show you fuckin crazy”—he says marching over to the drivers side of the car starting it back up—mumbling ill show you a fucking crazy person babe—and he spees off

you cant believe he actually just left you.. standing here.

“ASSHOLE!” you shout regulardess if hes still there or not, turning back around to walk down the cold empty road

are you fuckig kidding me?

wow he fooled me

how didnt i see this before

did he love me?

he says he does

then why did he leave me..

fucking jerk!!

The long 7 mile walk with a head full of shitty thoughts walk you to a sun burnt orange barn.

you're exhausted. your hearts broken. your feet hurt. its too dark to keep walking

"I mean i could crash here right?" you say already walking towards the musky building

hay bells, chickens, tools. looks already owned

you dont care you just need a place to rest you head for a bit.

stinks in here. muttering to yourself, opening and shutting the barn door behind you.

perfect you say spotting an old rocking chair..and yard sale signs?

does somebody live here?

you're too exhausted to think any more tonight

this'll do. taking your jacket off to use as a prop pillow, climbing into the chair almost immediately drifting off.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whats that smell? smells like bacon?

bacon? your eyes are still shut but you can sense a different environment around you. Fluttering your eyes open.. a clock? pictures? what?-jumping up at the sound of a shoe

"WHO ARE YOU?" your already in flight or fight mode

"Whoa whoa its okay, im the owner of the barn i found you in”.

is he lying?

"YOU'RE LYING!" you look around in a panic

"Sweetheart if i was lying, how come i specifically found you in my rocking chair, you must of been tired, i got my buddy who also runs the farm to scoop you up and bring you to our guest bedroom, couldn't just leave a woman out in the open like that.. especially at night"

your stomach knots when he calls you sweetheart.

okay maybe he harmless, just very kindly harmless?

"Here" he throws his arm out, "I'm Eddie, Eddie Munson."

- - is this interesting so far? lmk- -

reblogs appreciated:>

#older!eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #steve harrington x reader #kurt kunkle x reader #stockholm syndrome #daddy!eddie munson #daddy issues #naive reader #eddie munson x steve harrington #steddie x reader #kurtsworld96 #joseph quinn #joe keery #perv!eddie munson #dilf!eddie munson #perv!steve harrington #tw abandonment

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 10 months

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Trimax Thoughts Vol. 5 Pt. 2

I want to talk about Knives for a sec. Up to where I've read in the manga so far, we really don't have much of an understanding of him yet. I think I may have a slight advantage in having watched one of the shows before starting (I've watched Tristamp) because otherwise I don't know if I would quite get what to make of him so far.

I won't say anything about Tristamp here since I'm not going to assume everyone in book club has seen it, but I did draw a conclusion from it that, after reading volume 5, I am almost positive applies to the manga version of Knives too.

Knives treats Vash as if he were an extension of himself.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum volume 5. Knives stands casually, holding a cup and smiling as he greets his brother in Vash and Hoppered's shared flashback to July. Hoppered thinks "It's him..." as Knives says "Hey Vash." End ID.]

Ok so first off I need to establish something because it's important. Listen. I have no doubt that Knives loves his brother. I do not doubt that. But his behaviour towards Vash is actively and deeply cruel. Knives is friendly up until Vash disagrees with him, and then his mood suddenly changes for the worse - he has gone so far as to specifically target people Vash loves just to break the ideology he disagrees with, shifted culpability from himself to solely on Vash several times, violated his autonomy, and has on a few occasions physically restrained him. <- That's. Really bad. I would argue that these behaviours are in keeping with uh... pretty textbook manipulative/abusive behaviours.

However, here’s the thing: these kinds of behaviours are typically perpetrated because the person wants power over the victim. I think it's easy to read that into it, but I honestly don't think that's Knives' intention at all. He wants Vash with him. If anything his little "Watch it!" when Vash shoves him away just after the colony ships fall reads as genuine confusion. He's incredulous every time Vash points his gun at him. After all, as Knives puts it: they're brothers. They only have each other.

If Knives wants power over anything, I'd argue it's power over Rem, not Vash. He sees Vash's suffering and believes it was her who "made him like this", disregarding his own accountability in both Vash's continued pain... and her death. I do have to wonder if his attempts to break Vash's pacifism is also an attempt to make Rem's ghost leave them both for good, because there is no way Millions "I thought I'd spare her but now I see she was just as flawed" Knives felt no sadness or remorse over her death.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Volume 2. Knives sits in the escape ship with most of his face shadowed. He is hunched slightly, with a difficult to read, rather blank expression. End ID.]

^He is totally not bothered by this, definitely a-ok with her death. /j

But here's the thing: I really do think Knives believes that without Rem's influence, his brother will think and act exactly like him; that she has "corrupted" him somehow. This plays out in the way he's almost eager to show Vash their Plant abilities, apparently completely ignoring that Vash is confused and terrified - there's a serious dissonance to their interactions, where Knives seems less uncaring then oblivious to Vash's obvious distress. A good first indicator is directly before Fifth Moon, where Knives realizes that Vash has blocked out the memory of July, and is more intrigued than alarmed by this. Idk man if that was my brother I would be. Concerned.

See, if you read Knives as wanting power over Vash, then it's kind of reminiscent of the older sibling who thinks they know what's best for the younger. Indeed, that is the role Knives seems to take on at times.

But Knives is not actually older. They're twins.

Zazie also has an intriguing line after seeing the lengths Vash will go to in order to protect those he cares for: "It definitely isn't in Knives' nature to fight for anyone." <- This is an odd conclusion to come to for someone who is supposedly doing everything for a new world that's safe for all Plants, including Vash. I'm choosing to take Zazie at their word since I don't think they would have any real reason to lie or really see the point in lying.

So, what this implies is exactly what I stated earlier - Knives makes little, if any distinction between him and Vash. The world is divided into "same" and "different", "family" and "threat". It unfortunately allows Knives to continuously undermine Vash's autonomy - it's fine to forcibly activate Vash's angel arm because it's "our" power. It's fine for the doctor to poke and prod at Vash's arm to get readings because Knives is supervising it. Vash will stick with him because they're brothers, right? Of course he will. And if he doesn't... well that can't possibly be Vash. It's Rem's corrupting influence. And that makes him violently angry as he attempts to destroy any last trace of her that persists in his brother. Because surely, without her, Vash would be just like him, right?

One last note I'd like to make is the way Knives keeps obscuring Vash's face when he forcibly activates Vash's angel arm.

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first image shows Knives grabbing Vash's face as he forces him to activate his angel arm during the Fifth Moon incident. The second image is of the same during the July flashback. End ID.]

The thing is, you can't argue this is necessary to activate the ability. In the July flashback, Knives actually has his hand placed rather gently on the side of Vash's head... up until Vash tries to resist. That's when Knives slams his hand down over his face instead and shoves him onto the floor.

In the context of Knives seeing Vash as an extension of himself, it could take on a few different meanings. If he muffles Vash's screaming and crying, perhaps he doesn't have to see the clear distress on his brother's face. Maybe it's representative of stripping Vash of his personal choice in these scenes. Maybe because this is the truth of the matter - Knives does not want to see the person Vash is if that person is so wildly different from himself, to ruin the illusion of twin as extension instead of a separate person.

Meanwhile, Vash is trying so hard to be everything Knives isn't. Knives' face is shadowed in flashbacks to create distance between them until July reveals the destruction they both caused and Vash can no longer deny the harm he too is capable of causing. The twins cause me emotional damage man.

#hey this wasn't the best written thing i've done and there's more nuance to it than i was able to capture here but i hope you still enjoy #or. maybe not enjoy. :/#trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun meta #there's also the way vash forcibly separates himself from being anything like knives... which is why they never manage to #actually hear each other #call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#storyrambles

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romana-after-dark · 11 months

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The Wrong Way: Chapter 10 (Finale and true ending)

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Tommy Miller x reader

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

UUUUHHH ya'll i put the warnings there so uh you can't blame me for what I've done.

Before anything i gotta say the "id do anything for you, you amost killed me, that was for you" bit is curtesy of me and @the-fox-den messing around so credits to them XD

I cannot appreciate y'all readership more. I cried writing this on and off not only bc the content but that it's over. full emotions at the end!

Enjoy! (this is not enjoyable.)

***************

“Hey honey.” Tommy’s voice was groggy and sweet in the late morning. “You up already?”

You shuffled your body back, closer to where Tommy lay, warm and inviting… you missed him. You missed him so much. “Yeah just thinking…”

Nestling his face into your face, Tommy holds you tighter, a protective hand over your belly. “What about?” When you didn’t answer, he knew what you were thinking of. “Ah… you miss him, don’t you?” There wasn’t judgment in his voice, just the soft understanding that Tommy always gave, a grace that showed he knew what Joel had done to your mind.

Nevertheless, you tear up, embarrassed at your own weakness for the man who had nearly killed you and your baby. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… he had me so messed up and twisted… I didn’t know which way was up half the time… I felt like I was living in a haze…” You begin to cry, letting the frustrations out.

“Hey, hey now it’s alright. He’s good at that… he’s good at jumbl’n you up enough you can’t see straight… and he’s got that look… something in his eyes when his attention is focused on you… just makes you want to make him happy… I know what you mean… Did he hurt you a lot since I left?”

“No” You shake your head. “That was the strange part… It was… it was good… especially after he found out I was pregnant… It was… it was good, actually. I thought he changed… He didn’t… but I had a lot of freedom, I could do pretty much anything with Lorenzo watching me.” You chuckle a little bit, thinking of your friend. “At first I don’t think he was thrilled to be on babysitting duty, but when he realized he could drink and smoke all day I think he liked it a lot more.”

The smile in his voice was evident. “I’m glad you had a friend after I left, honey.” He brushed hair out of your face. “I saw… I saw Joel a few months back… he said you and Lorenzo had gotten close.”

“Yeah” But the tears came again.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

“I never said good bye” You cry. “Lorenzo… everything happened so fast and I didn’t get to say goodbye and now I don’t know if he’s even gonna live.”

Tommy coaxed you to turn over and face him, his face beautiful in the rising orange sun kissing his skin and complimenting his dark hair. “Honey, listen, Maria is gonna make sure he’s taken care of. He’s gonna be okay and once he’s rested up, I’m sure he’ll come to Boston, or at least get word out if he’s got other plans.” Tommy didn’t actually know any such thing but he wanted to comfort you.

“He’s coming to Boston” You assure. “He promised me… and him and Zach are a couple, actually.”

His face was one of confusion, then realization. He chuckled. “Love really just… finds a way, huh?”

When you look into his eyes… you can’t help but agree. “Yeah, it does…” He face was so close to you, it’d been so long since he’d held you… even before he left, you two had grown distant, Joel successfully putting a edge between you two, and you hadn’t spend the time with him you used to, angry and upset with him for reasons that didn't make sense… but that was how badly Joel had messed up your sense of direction. And yet, none of that mattered when Tommy was in trouble. You’d put yourself between Joel’s gun and Tommy, and if you weren’t pregnant you’d do it again. Tommy was always there for you, as much as he could be… he was manipulated by Joel, just like you were, but still he tried… and here he was, sleeping on a cold hard floor with you because he uprooted his entire life with Maria… for you.

The kiss was sudden, you pressing your lips to his and for a sweet, lingering moment he kissed back, chest rising as he breathed through nose, savoring you before pulling back whispering your name.

“I love you…” You confess, eyes closed and foreheads pressed together.

“Honey, you don’t… you don’t have to feel or do anything just because I’m here-”

“I love you.” More assertive this time. He thinks you feel like you have to, like there's pressure… but you never felt that with Tommy. Tommy wasn’t Joel. Tommy was kind and patient, Tommy was loving and gentle and good… Tommy was the one you loved.

Tommy reached out, caressing your hair. “I love you too, honey, I’m sorry I had to leave you” the words just began spilling out from him, tumbling out Tommy’s mouth like a desperate plea for absolution for sins he never willingly committed. “I’m sorry I never stopped him, I’m sorry I didn’t do more, I’m sorry I left you alone in all that-”

You cut him off with another kiss, needier and lonely, clamoring for a connection. “It’s okay, Tommy. It’s okay. I’m okay now, everything will be okay.” And it would be. You were with Tommy now, and Tommy would keep you safe. You hands wander, trailing down his back as you continued to kiss him, feeling him, getting to know the curves and dips and muscles of him for the first time. Your hands move to undo his pants, but he stops you.

“We don’t- honey you’ve had a traumatic week”

“Tommy, I want you…” You whine, and you did. You did, so fucking bad. You missed Joel, you missed Tommy, your head was swirling with guilt and fear and a deep, deep down ache of loneliness that you didn’t know how to fill other than skin on skin. It was all you really knew. Nearly everyone you had cared about, save for Zach, and Lorenzo showed their love with touch. Even June did, although it wasn’t sexual. Tommy always held you when you cried, sat up in his lap with arms wrapped around you as he did now. “I want you Tommy, please?” You whine. You couldn’t deny that the pregnancy hormones worsened things, making you incredibly needy. “I need you, Tommy”

Tommy sighed. He knows he shouldn’t. The week you’ve had, the year you've had, hell, the entire life you had groomed you into submitting your body to men for money, shelter, affection. This is what you knew. Then there was Maria, his girlfriend who he lived with, with whom he swore fidelity too, who had seen this poor, young traumatized her and willingly let him go because she trusted him… That was the other thing, you were still so young… Tommy had made the comment to Joel that if Sarah had lived, he she would be older than this girl in his arms was now… That should’ve made Joel disgusted… shouldn’t it disgust Tommy too? But Tommy was weak, he knew he was weak… and he loved her, didn’t he? This wasn’t a lust filled rape, this wasn’t him taking advantage of her youth and naivety, they were in love, and she needed him.

“Yeah baby, I’ll take care of you.” Tommy allowed you to undo his pants while he quickly undid your flannel. In the daylight and as he pulled it and the dress over your shoulders, he could see the full extent of your injuries. Where your collar hid, there was a mixture of purple and green bruising around your neck and throat, accentuated by red from the rope burn, and yet the hardest to stomach was your chest. A large black bruise formed on your chest from the repeated punching. “Oh honey… you’re lucky he didn’t break a rib.”

“I don’t wanna talk about him.” You grumble, beginning to shimmy him out of his pants. “Just want you, Tommy. I want you the right way, like we never got the chance to, the way Joel took from us.”

“The right way” He kissed you, lips full of love, offering protection and solace in the distortion. He wastes no time pulling your underwear down and slipping a hand to cup your sex, immediately giving you the pleasure he swore he could your first time together, but you had refused. He felt so good, firm and assured in his movements between your legs, but soft and caring, making you feel special in his touch.

You spit in your hand and begin to jerk his cock as you both laid there, your giant belly getting in the way. “Usually wetter, the last month things have been… different” A bit embarrassed, you mutter into his shoulder. You were turned on, very much so, but your lower body didn’t seem to get the message. Joel never seemed to care much. You got wet eventually, especially after cumming, but the in between usually hurt.

“That’s normal.” Tommy assured. “Pregnancy hormones. But I’ll make sure you’re real wet, baby, get on your back.” Doing as you were told, you roll over, Tommy slithering his way down you and pressing affectionate kisses over your swollen stomach. “So beautiful…”

He ate you like a man starved, like a past meal on death row, desperate and savoring every last taste. Joel always felt good, so, so, good, but there was an electricity here, all the built up tension between you two, like a rubber band finally snapping and he couldn’t get enough. Tommy worshiped at the shrine of you, adoration in the prayer on his lips, his arms wrapped around your legs as you grew closer so you couldn’t wiggle away, he needed every second, every inch, every taste, every sound reclaimed for him. It was a conquest, a crusade, a burning need as he licked into your folds, pleasure and fire and love building in your core, fingers opening up to prepare you to take him, fucking into you and god, you were moaning for him.

“Tommy! Tommy please make me cum, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I’ll do anything you want, just-”

“Lay there and take it, princess, that’s all you gotta do.” His head dived back between your legs and eagerly devoured, lips latching on your swollen mound, sucking noisily, soaking your as promised. Two fingers turned into three, and while his lips sucked his tongue flicked at your clit, causing your legs to shake. You entangle your fingers in his long, dark locks, having grown longer since you’ve seen him last and yank him towards you. You didn’t need to guide him, you didn’t need his tongue deeper inside you; he knew what he was doing. What you needed was something to grip onto as your world shattered around you. Tommy was always who you reached for. Everything you needed, Tommy did his best to provide, and when you were terrified, as Joel dragged you away to kill you, all you wanted was your Tommy. You screamed his name as you did now. Gushing cum on his face, you yank at his hair and fuck his face while you ride out your orgasm on his still moving mouth.

Vaguely, you register him kissing his way up your body, laying around you as he couldn’t lay on top, Tommy kissed you back to life, finding his soft eyes staring at you as you open your own…

“You still want me?” He asks, a rough but caring hand stroking your face.

“More than anything.”

He was careful, he always was with you, treating you like a fragile porcelain doll, but you promised him you could take it and he sped up, fucking you, really fucking you the way you had wanted for months after you grew comfortable in that house. He knelt before you knees on the hard floor but showed no signs of pain as his hips snapped into you, your moans growing louder.

“Tommy!” You call out for him, ecstasy building inside you like the sweat on his forehead.

“Right here honey, I’m right here.” He rubbed your knee that he had braced himself on. “Neve gonna leave you again, I promise.”

“You- you promise?” Looking up at him from this angle… he looked god-like. Tan and strong, but handsome and kind… you wanted him forever, you wanted only him and for him to have only you. He filled you up over and over and over, your hips canting up to meet him.

“Promise, princess. I’ll never leave you, ever. You’re mine.”

His.

“I’m yours” You whine for him, on the precipice of your climax, you just needed…

“And I’m yours. Now, I need you to come, and when you do, I want you to scream my name, okay? Can you do that for me, beautiful girl?” His hand was on your hip, large and rough and covering Joel’s initially branded on you.

You’re panting heavily, so, so close when he sets a brutal pace, spilling you over.

Tommy thinks this is the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. All the times you called for him when you needed him, when Joel was done, when you were hungry or needed to use the bathroom or just were lonely, none of it compared to this…

You scream for him, crying out loudly as he continues to thrust into you, talking you through it like he had the panic attack that had overtaken you when you gave him your virginity.

“Just like that, honey, good girl.” He coo’s, ever letting up on your sensitive cunt. “So pretty coming on my cock, love when you scream my name… there you go, pretty little thing…”

Tommy was right. He made you scream his name louder than Joel’s.

When he came inside you, claiming you as his in a primal, animalistic sense, the cold began to settle on the sheen of sweat between you, and Tommy pulled a blanket over you. A little rest before heading out.

“Did you mean what you said?” You ask.

He didn't need clarification. Tommy knew you well enough. “Yeah, I did. I’m gonna stay with you, honey.”

“What about Maria?”

A fair question, but Tommy sighed nonetheless. “I’ll send word I won't’ be come’n back… I think… I think she knew, she knew before I ever did.”

When the two of you set out on the road again, you wanted to walk for a while. All the riding the last day made you sore and you just walked to stretch your legs, aching joints and pregnant body needing movement. You and Tommy talked, really talked about the future, what it would look like in Boston, wherever it is exactly Lorenzo and Zach had for you… Someone Tess knew? A couple who had been a ‘doomsday prepper’ before… You wouldn’t live on their farm, but in a house nearby. Somewhere fairly safe for you and your baby, and Lorenzo, Zach and Tommy to protect it… Tommy confirmed what you had secretly hoped but could never ask. He’d be your baby's father, he’d raise them with you, loving it as his own.

“Well ain’t that sweet.” You freeze in place when you hear Joel’s voice, the older brother stepping into sight from a tree, gun pointed at you and Tommy. “Fucked my wife, stealing my daughter,” he looks at Tommy. “I can’t believe you’d sink this low, Tommy.”

The irony of who was sinking low was lost on Joel, Tommy was aware. There was no point fighting it. One hand held the reigns of the horse, his right was in the air as yours were. “Joel, c’mon, I know damn well you aren’t going to hurt either one of us so just let-” He was cut off by his own scream, falling against the horse and gripping his upper arm.

“TOMMY!” You scream for him, rushing to his side before Joel shouts to get away. You want to help Tommy… but you had a duty to your child, a duty you knew Tommy would understand. You cried, looking him over. He was still standing, clearly in pain, but blood shooting out of his arm. Nothing vital.

Joel only looked at you. “That’s right, scream his name, little one. Always his name, isn’t it?” Joel stepped forward, ignoring Tommy’s anguished plea’s for him to stay away from you; Joel’s sights were on you and you alone. Nothing else existed, not even his bleeding baby brother. “Sceam’n for him when you think I’m hurting you, when you think I’ve been cruel, when you want his company because I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH”

You barely registered your own tears, the trembling in your stance, knowing there was nothing you could do.

“That’s how I found you, heard you screaming my own fucking brothers name like a whore in that cabin while pregnant with my daughter!”

Shaking your head, you take a weak step back. “Joel, please, I was scared. I was so scared, you tried to kill me-”

“Is that what you think that was?” A cruel, mocking laugh escaped him in his mania before turning to Tommy. “Is that what she told you, Thomas? ‘Oh Tommy!’” His voice was light and girlish as he mimicked you. “‘Oh Tommy, Joel’s so mean to me!’ Well that ain’t the truth. She’s a cheating whore, and she needs to do better for Sarah, so I’m trying to teach her.”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the visible confusion on Tommy’s face turn into shock and horror. “Sarah? Jesus Joel! Is that what all this is? You’re trying to recreate Sarah? Or is it the picket fence two parent household you never got with her?”

“Don’t talk about her!” Joel screamed at the younger man, his attention turning to Tommy, and you watched for your chance.

“SARAH IS DEAD! SHE’S DEAD AND SHE’S NOT COMING BACK!” His next words… Tommy didn’t mean, not one single bit, he witnessed himself how much Joel tried to save his child, the little girl who was the entire world to him… But he needed Joel’s attention on him, he needed to be the focus of Joel’s anger. “SARAH IS DEAD AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

You take a step back.

“SHUT UP!” Another scream from Joel.

“MY NIECE IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T LOVE HER ENOUGH TO TRY HARDER-”

“SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH!”

But Tommy already moved, Joel’s teary eyes and blinding anger slowing his perception and Tommy moved the barrel of the gun away from him and you before Joel took the shot.

“RUN!”

And you did. You didn’t know where to, but you ran for your life, for your babies. Hearing a gun go off again, you stop briefly wondering if you just heard either the man you loved or the father of your child die… but there was no time to mourn or think, you needed to go. 8 months pregnant, you do everything you can to keep running, but you are stopped by a blinding pain in your stomach, causing you to scream before you can even stop yourself.

When it fades, you open your eyes to see an infected.

There was no time for pain.

Contractions going again, you prayed for another round of braxton-hicks and not actual labor, you prayed Tommy was alive, you prayed the infected behind you couldn’t move fast due to one thing or another… but you couldn’t stop to look. The adrenalynn did most of the work, as did sheer willpower. You didn’t think you could power through running so fast and so long if it was just you, but the mother instinct to protect this baby went above everything. Like a blessing, you see the cabin you had stayed at and took off towards it, infected at your heels, horrific noises that you shall surely hear the rest of your life should you survive this letting you know there was no time to even wince at a particularly sharp contraction. They were not spaced… and if Lorenzo was right, and if this wasn’t braxton-hicks…. You were going to give birth in this cabin.

The slam of the door behind you did not save you, as soon you found yourself sitting in an empty room with a chair propped against the door as the infected tried to get in, your switchblade gripped in your hands, as the baby tried to come out.

You can’t help but scream in pain; the infected already knew where you were, it was only a matter of time until it came in and you had to be face to face with it for the first time. You’d seen them from afar of course, but you had never been close; someone always protected you, Zach, Lorenzo, Tommy, Joel… you’re whole life you had depended on men to save you from other men and a litany of evils in this world and none of them had been able to stop this. No one stepped in between you and your dad, no one stepped in between you and Joel, and no one would step between you and this abomination…

But you’d try your damndest to step between your baby and whatever might harm them, and if that meant facing this infected, you’d do it.

When it burst in, you don’t bother hiding our scream; they looked horrific and the sounds were just as bad, but god, the smell was nauseating to your pregnant senses. None of that compared to the genuine fear as you fought for your life and for this baby. The creature was right in your face as you stabbed him, the jackknife now successfully ending two threats to you; the infected and Nick.

The moment you have to breath is gone when you hear the cry of your baby on the floor. You had given birth to a baby girl, just as Joel wanted, alone, with a bite on your leg.

You were infected, and this baby would grow up without a mom and with a psychopath rapist and murder for a dad. Tommy was surely dead, and even if Joel found you in the cabin she’d grow up with Joel. You didn’t believe he’d sexually abuse her, but physically? She’d be lucky if she made it to 10, not the mention the other men around her…

There was no time to cry or to smile, you couldn’t rejoice in the birth of this little girl or cry at the circumstances, you thought back to what Maura instructed you, Joel, and Lorenzo to do in the event you gave birth without her. Using that knife, you cut the cord and tie it.

Had you given birth before the bite? Was she infect? Had all your efforts to protect this innocent been useless? You once again kick yourself for not leaving with Zach any of the times he offered…She’d suffer because of you, if she lived at all.

As your daughter screams, you scream too, loud and anguished and nameless. You didn’t cry for Tommy, for Zach, for Joel, for Lorenzo or June or anyone that had ever shown they wanted to help… no, you just screamed, because there was no other option.

Tommy had seen you run and tried to follow you, tried to call to you, but you either couldn’t hear him or could defier his voice from Joel who was currently crippled with a shot leg… Tommy couldn’t bring himself to kill Joel… he couldn’t. No matter how much of a big game he talked, Joel was still his big brother, and despite the telling signs of aging and the obvious way Joel was no longer Joel behind those eyes… They were still he eyes, and as Joel looked up at Tommy pointing the gun down on him, Tommy couldn’t fire. He couldn’t fire at the man who had saved his life countless times, the father of his niece, the father of the baby he had swore to raise as his own, and despite the way Joel had clearly lost his mind, lost all sense of reality… Tommy couldn’t kill his brother because yes, that was still his brother.

When he found you, it didn’t take long to figure out what happened, with the baby in your arms and the infected on the ground… your bite was clear and prominent.

“Oh honey… no…” Tommy dropped the gun on the floor and likewise dropped to his knees as he walked to you and the child. A little girl…

“Tommy, please, please take her. If you don’t want her, take her to Zach and Lorenzo, just please take her-”

“I’ll take her, I’ll raise her, I swear.” Maria and him had talked about kids before… would she want this? Tommy couldn’t stop looking you over, he couldn’t process that you had been bit… this wasn’t a rattlesnake bite, there wasn’t a way to get the venom out… it was over. “I’m sorry.” He cried, tears flowing over before he registered they were coming. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry-”

“Tommy” You stop him, tears matching his. “Tommy, it's okay. Just protect her, okay? That’s what matters now, her.” Everything hurt, and you could swear there was something already changing in you, but maybe it was in your head.

Heavy boots clomping on the floor. “Get away from her.” Joel spoke, his voice low and dark, despite being unarmed. You notice his limp and the blood… Tommy hadn’t shot Joel to kill… and had greatly underestimated what Joel would do to get to you, including walking on a shot leg.

Tommy didn’t even turn around, still holding you and his, yes his baby, because there was no way in hell Joel was walking out with her. “She’s infected, Joel.”

Joel didn’t reply, and you looked up at him over Tommy’s shoulder, confirming it. You nudge Tommy to move, revealing his daughter. You speak before Tommy does. “I cut the cord before I was bit.” Your eyes dart to Tommy. “Before.” You lied, and you knew it was dangerous… but you needed your daughter to have a fighting chance.

Joel shook his head. “No, no we’ll get you help, theres gotta be-”

Grabbing his gun, Tommy turned around. “THERE’S NO HELP, JOEL!” He shouts. “This is your fault! This is all your fault and you can’t fix it!” His steps were long and quick, pinning an unarmed Joel to the wall gun to his head. Tommy was shaking, but you didn’t need to aim to shoot point blank. “I’ll fucking kill you for what you did to them.”

For once, you believed it.

And it seems Joel did too. “That’s my daughter, Tommy. Yuh ain’t take’n her.” But Joel’s voice was weak, small…

“Yes he is, Joel.” You speak from the floor. “He’s taking her, and one of you needs to kill me.”

Both of Miller brother turn to you at that, anguish and pain in Tommy’s eyes. “I… I can’t do that… I can’t… Honey, no…” You knew how badly he was hurting right now… but you didn’t want Joel dead, and someone needed to do it. You didn’t know how long you had.

“I know, Tommy. I know.” You smile sympathetically at your lover, and beckon him towards you. Tommy gives Joel a warning look, but takes the pistol off his brother and comes to you. “I know. I know you can’t and that’s okay. You take he, that’s what you need to do for me, okay?” Looking down at the crying baby in your arms you give her a kiss and whisper that you love her before pushing her into Tommy’s welcoming arms. “I know you feel guilty…” Reaching up to touch his face one last time, you smile as he leans into your touch. “Sweet, sweet boy… you have nothing to be ashamed of, you’ve always done right by me. But if you feel you need absolution, this is your chance.”

Tommy looked at the little girl in his arms… she was so small, so fragile… but he would protect her, he would do right by her the way he couldn’t do to you. She was his baptism, his new life, a fresh start. He was a father now. “I will” He looked at you again.

“Her name is Ellie” Fimly, you spoke it into truth. “It’s not Dorthy, it’s not Dolly, its Ellie.” Looking up at Joel, the hurt clear on his face at the erasure of what he wanted to give her, you offer a small mercy, the middle name he agreed on, named after the singer he liked so much, and your friend back home. “Ellie June.”

Tommy nodded. “Ellie June, it’s beautiful.” He touched his forehead to you softly and you slipped your hand to touch Ellie’s little toes. This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, and this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee… “I’ll never forget you, and I’ll make sure she knows about you, okay? She’s gonna know who you are.”

“Zach… please, get word to Zach somehow, tell him he’s an uncle.”

“I will, I swear.”

“And Lorenzo, Lorenzo said he’d be the godfather. Please thank him for everything he’s done for me.” You sob thinking about your best friend.

“I will, I’ll tell him.”

“And Zach, please tell him I love him so much, and thank him for being my big brother.”

“They both love you, hermosa, I know they do.” He stroked your hair with his free hand.

“Tommy, one more thing?”

“Anything”

“June, please, can you find her? Tell her I loved her, she’s Ellie godmother in spirit.”

“Abslutly, is there anyone else? I’ll do it.”

You shake your head, tears flying as you do. “No, those three… they are all I know- wait, Maura and Jack, Jack risked everything to help me escape, and Maura with my pregnancy” You chuckle a bit. “Who knew dying had so many many loose ends to tie up” You hadn’t realized… you had grown a small community. It had taken a village to keep you and your baby alive.

He smiled. “I’ll tell them all, honey, I promise, especially Zach.” Tommy had an older brother too, and a;thought his had turn into a monster, he understood the love of a protective brother, and would not be who he is without Joel in their childhood and youth.

You whisper a thank you, before sealing his promises with a tearful kiss. When Tommy pulled away, you knew it was time…

“Goodbye Ellie, mommy loves you.”

Then, it was just you and Joel.

“I never wanted this, little one.” He spoke, voice filled with sincerity and pain. “I know you think I hate you, that I want you to hurt-”

“I don’t think that Joel.” You deny his accusation, but you are honest. For once, you can be honest. “I think you’re a broken man who doesn’t know how to love, but I don’t think you hate me, and I don’t know you never wanted any of this.”

“I loved you! Everything I did was for you!”

“You almost killed me-”

“THAT WAS FOR YOU!” He screamed at you, but it wasn’t rage or fury, it was wretched and broken and him. A heart broken father who had lost his daughter, and is now about to lose his wife, and if Tommy can help it, his brother and baby.

Closing your eyes, you move on. “You can’t have her, Joel.”

He steps closer, boots loud against the creaking floor. “Tommy ain’t taking my daughter, I ain’t losing her.”

A dry laugh. “I’m not sure you ever loved Ellie-”

“Her names not Ellie, it’s Dolly-”

“You loved Sarah, and Ellie was a replacement. What if we had a boy, Joel? C’mon. Let her be, let them go.” Couldn’t he give you this? A deathbed wish to save your baby…

“No.” But you could tell he was wavering. “That’s my daughter.”

“What’s your plan then? You don’t have day care. The only raiders you could have trusted with her are Tommy and Lorenzo and they are gone. You can’t do it alone… You’ve seen those men gang rape women, you think they won’t rape Ellie?”

“Stop calling her that.”

“You think they won’t beat her, touch her? Even if they don’t, is she suppossed to grow up around violence and rape? You gotta think this through, Joel! There’s no day care, no PTO, you’re two top men just left you, you can’t keep her safe! You can’t protect her, she’s gonna die like-”

“Fine!”

There's a long, shocked silence between the two of you, the gravity of what he’s agreed to give up… You weren’t sure if you believed in god, and if you did, whose god it was… you weren’t sure you believed in an afterlife, or anything of the sort. But if you did… you could be convinced that Sarah’s spirit touched Joel, breaking through his obsession, his mental illness, the delusions he had… to keep her little sister safe.

“I’ll… she can go with Tommy.” Heartbroken, Joel acquiesced, then knelt in front of your exhausted body. “I know you don’ think I loved you, but… just know I cared, okay? I just-”

“I believe you.” You took in his scent once more. “For what it’s worth, I think maybe we loved each other in our own sick way… It was always gonna end like this… ” You push the jackknife into his hands.

“Where did you get this?” Joel referenced the knife with wooden encasing.

“Nick’s skeleton.”

Joel couldn’t help but smile “Brave girl” He kissed you, and you allowed it, wanting to taste him just one more time.

Knife in grip, you taking rough hand and bring it to your throat, tucked under your chin just beneath where your wet faces pressed together, foreheads and noses and lips melding into one as he could consume your soul, bring you into him forever.

“I love you, little one. Always have.”

“And I loved you, Joel.”

“What’s that song you like?”

“Red River Valley”

“Yeah, that’s the one. How did that last line start?”

You smile, eyes closed, and start singing it. “Come and sit by my side if you love me…”

Joel joined in the pair of you singing together. “Do not hasten to bid me adieu, but remember the the red river valley” You’re voice choked up so bad on the last word, you couldn’t finish it.

You think back to the night Ellie was conceived, the night Tommy left, they way Joel fucked you, words uttering into life the possession he had over you. It was foolish to think you could be free of him in this life. That pain? The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed?

Joel sang the last line for you, voice as soft as a whisper.. “And the cowboy who loved you so true.”

His lips pressed a final kiss and you felt the sharp pain and oozing liquid leaving you, your gasps and cries of pain stifled by his mouth. Eventually, the warmth of the blood enveloped you into darkness, and the agony of this life you were subjected to since childhood ended.

If you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Joel inhaled your last breath into his, sucking in the evidence of your life with his lips attached to yours until his head grew dizzy from lack of oxygen. Your blood was cooling on his body.

Joel limped out of the room, covered in her blood, only to find Tommy rocking a baby in one arm and a gun aimed at Joel with the other, tears streaming down his face.

“You killed her.” Tommy stated the obvious.

Not even bothering to raise his hands, Joel replied. “The infected killed her, Tom-”

“No.” The low tone of voice warned of something serious, and Joel pondered if Tommy was capable of actually killing him. “You did this. All of this. This last year you beat and tortured and raped her and made her think this was love. Calling her your wife, Joel?” Tommy shook his head in disgust. “I didn’t think you were capable of this, even after everything.”

Joel glowered his eyes at Tommy, not happy to have this talk again. “I didn’t see you ever stop’n me, Tommy.”

“No.” Tommy’s answer was candid. “That’s my cross to bare. And she-” he needed down to the sleeping baby in his arms. “She’s my vindication, and I’m gonna do right by her.”

Joel held out his hands, causing Tommy to step back. “Give me my daughter, Tommy.”

Worry crossed his face. “You promised-”

“I just wanna say goodbye” It was rare Joel spoke like this… so quiet, so soft… But Tommy didn’t trust him. “No, you-you’ll hurt her.”

The way Joel looked in Tommy’s eyes was earnest… so much hurt and sadness Tommy felt like he was actually looking at his brother again… “I’d never hurt my daughter.”

Tommy believed him. “Gun to your head the whole time. You try to take her away, I shoot you.”

“Okay.”

He was right, the gun was pressed to his head as Joel said his goodbye. “I love you. No matter what anyone tells you, I love you, and I loved your mom. She’s up in heaven watching out for you, she’s there with your big sister, your grandparents, everyone. They love you, just like I do, just like Tommy does. I’m gonna protect you still, okay? Jackson is under my protection, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you or your family.” Joel will protect his daughter with his life, and that means protecting those who care for her. Tommy, Maria, all of Jackson. As long as she's taken care of they are safe. “I love you, baby girl.”

Hesitantly, Joel handed Ellie back to Tommy, her new daddy, and he felt like he was letting go of a peace of himself. Nother brother bothered hiding the tears.

“I never want to see your face again, Joel. Do not come near me or my child ever again.”

Joel wanted to argue, to say it was his daughter, and he could take her whenever he wanted… But she was right. Ellie was better off with Tommy. Tommy could provide a stable home, with a mom and a dad, a community to make friends, school, church, and most importantly, safety. Tommy was younger, he could keep up with a child, fight off what he needed to… Tommy was a good uncle to Sarah… he’d be a good dad to her.

“Tommy, wait” But Tommy kept walking. “Wait!”

“SHHH!” Tommy whipped around, whispering harshly. “You’ll wake her!”

As if Joel didn’t raise a whole child himself. “Just… here.” Joel cleaned of the knife and handed it to a nervous Tommy. “For her.”

Tommy glared at the gift. “You want me to give her the knife you killed her mother with?”

“She killed the infected with it, and that’s what I killed Nick with�� I used it to ortect her, and she used to to protect… Ellie.” Joel said her name outloud now. “You don’t have to tell her about me just… I want her to have something, please?”

Tommy stared at Joel for several moments. He hated Joel… but he’d always live him. Joel raised him most of his life, and they raised Sarah together. Joel was his brother, always, and the reason his now-daughter existed. “I’ll tell her about Sarah. I’ll… She’ll know she has a sister.” A fresh tear escaped, Tommy wiped it with the sleeve of the arm holding the knife as he sniffled at the mention of his precious niece he loved so much. “I dunno how I’m gonna explain the rest, but she’ll know she had a sister.” A deep breath. “And she’ll have her knife, so no matter what… you both with be protecting her, okay?”

Joel nodded.

“But you can’t go after the others. Zach, Lorenzo, Jack, Maura, got it? They are gonna suffer enough. With this news, just… leave them be.”

Joel agreed, then explained his horse is out front, a quick ride back to Jackson. Joel would walk back on his wounded leg. “Thank you, Tommy. I love you. I’m always gonna love you, even if you hate me.”

Turning on a heel, Tommy walked away, carrying little Ellie, taking off his scarf to wrap around her in the cool weather. It wasn’t anything too cold, the sun was out and shining at least, and no wind. Tommy was dead set and determined to walk away, to never speak to his brother again… but he stopped. He didn’t look back, but he spoke, quiet but just loud enough for Joel to hear. “I love you too, hermano.”

With that, Joel watched the only two things left in this life that he loved, walk away.

***********

Joel at the end, what Tommy see’s as Joel exits the room after murdering little one

Art my @melodymakesart

Continue the story 16 years latter with Ghost of You, Ellie’s journey in finding out the truth

Wow. WOW. I cannot thank you guys all enough for how much support i've gotten on this series. Biggest thank you's to the-fox-den, dinsbaby, foggymoonbanana, primos world, Fen, my dear maura, miraclesabound, not a unique snowflake blog and koshkaj for always leaving such nice comments! (everyones comments are appriacted and loved i just see these guys do it every single chapter without fail.)

also thanks to everyone who reached out about the bomb threat. we are all doing much better now.

I love you al so much and cannot ever express how much the reaction to this series has touched me.

That's right, the baby is Ellie.

I do want to say, that in this series, since reader isn't Anna, this means Ellie can look like anything, no matter the race. It just matters she's ellie and she's immune. Little one isn't a great reader, she's largely oc but i wanted to keep things as inclusive as i could instead of an OC

and i did say major character death ;-; good bye little one. You deserved better.

THOUGHTS?!?!?! shout out to spadesjade on ao3 who correctly guess that little one dies and tommy and maria raise the baby!

Remember, there's still the alt ending! This one will be a bittersweet, happier ish ending.

As always, if you hate both endings, my fics are open for you to write your own version of the end or use this universe in anyway. And if you'd like, i'll add it to the masterlist for additional reading!!!

In the mean time, come read Dirty Little Secret, my dark!joel one shot

LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Remember, reblogs spread the work, comments motivate!!!!

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana@dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld@marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

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sugurusdiscordmoderator · 6 months

Text

Gamer Girly - part 2

link to part one • link to master list

cw: alcohol, bisexualness, idk me being half gay

MDNI 18+

not proof read, literally wrote this bc of my insomnia and not being able to sleep tonight

You and Geto texted to plan a FaceTime call in a few days as it worked for his schedule and you were beyond nervous. Even going as far as using your whitening strips and getting your eyebrows done. You planned it for Thursday evening, a time after Geto’s stream was over, before you, Utahime, and Haibara were about to go out to bars for Thirsty Thursday with your fake ID’s. You did your makeup and hair while listening to the squads stream rehearsing in your head what you think Geto would say. You picked out a black crop top and a short denim skirt to wear paired with your vans. As they wrapped up their stream you started feeling anxious and took a shot of a vodka mini bottle you had lying around your apartment to calm some nerves. As you swallow some orange juice as a chaser your phone buzzes from your desk.

‘hey just wrapped up, let me know when you’re free and I’ll shoot you a call. :)’

god texting him felt like you were flirting in high school all over again like a giddy innocent girl.

you set your macbook up on your desk so you could have a better view of him for the FaceTime.

‘sure, ready whenever you are!’ You respond.

Your anticipation leads to sweaty palms and sipping a white claw that was left in your fridge at some point as you pace around your bedroom, making sure everything in the background is okay.

your ringtone from your laptop goes off rather loud and you quickly sit at your desk but don’t press the answer button too soon. The 10 seconds it takes the call to load seems like years as you bounce your leg under your desk.

“hey!” You both speak at the same exact time, as you nervously giggle.

“How are you?” Comes out of both your mouths at the same time again.

“I’m sorry, you first,” you say as he chuckles with his eyes squinted close in the most precious way.

“I’m great, happy to be done streaming for the night and getting ready to go out with some friends, how about you?”

“I’m also going out with some friends for once! We don’t go to bars a whole lot but wanted to try one tonight. Other than that great now that I actually get to speak with you,” you admit, blushing.

“Yeah about that, this moderator thing is pretty easy, mainly the thing you have to watch out for on my discord is people sexualizing Shoko. She’s started to get butthurt about how she’s ‘more than a pretty face’” he rolls his eyes sarcastically.

“Oh yeah of course…” you pause, “are you guys like dating or…?” You close your eyes not believing you just fucking asked that.

“Oh no no, she’s been Satoru and I’s best friend all through high school. We taught her to play and she has pretty much gotten better than us.”

“Satoru?”

“Oh sorry yes that is Gojo’s first name, we all go by our last names on the stream.”

“Oh yeah okay, makes sense,” you glance over at the notepad sitting next to your laptop wondering if you should be taking notes.

“I have to admit there’s not really a whole lot that goes into it, I just wanted to see you over FaceTime.” He grins, lighting up a blunt and casually looking at his screen to see your reaction.

He can’t be flirting with you…right? You decide to take the ball in your court, “well what can I say, I’m only one of your most devoted fans,” winking at him and hoping you don’t seem too lame.

He chuckles, taking a long puff of his blunt and passing it to someone off the screen.

You dare to ask, “also sorry if this is too personal to ask so soon, but I saw your area code is close to where I go to college, can I ask where you’re from?”

He looks like his brain is trying to fit pieces together for a moment, looking up at the person he passed the blunt to. “Uh, yeah I’m from Shibuya and I go to university here.”

Your jaw drops, “like University of Shibuya?”

“Yeah, are you familiar with it?” He asks.

“I’m a junior here! I had no idea you guys were from around here or went to the same school!”

You hear Gojo in the back whisper “oh my fucking god”

Suguru shoots daggers at Gojo, still off screen, and doesn’t know what to say.

“We don’t have to meet up or anything if you’re uncomfortable with it! We can just pretend like we didn’t talk about this,” you blush nervously thinking he was put off by something you said.

“No, no, I mean it would be great either way. Just was a little surprising that’s all.” He responds, no longer looking around for Gojo, just focusing on you on his screen.

“Yeah well I’ll promote you to a moderator tonight and have the other mod text you to kinda explain the situation.” The dark haired mystery man smiles awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “Oh and the pay, uh how does $20 per hour sound?”

“Yeah sure whatever you’re willing to pay I’ll take it!” you say almost too eagerly. You knew mods got paid kind of well but you didn’t know it was this good. If he streams 7 days a week for 2 hours, that’s already $280 a week. Plus the time you spend in discord on the chats.

“Okay well I’ll be in touch…” he trails off and you can’t tell if he’s either high or just uninterested in your conversation. (In reality Gojo had a girl sitting on his lap sucking his face off and Suguru was trying to decide if he was disgusted or turned on)

“Yeah, thank you for picking me! Look forward to talking with you,” you say hoping he’s not regretting his choices noting that he got a little awkward after the talk about being local arose.

“Yeah, see ya,” he says too casually with hardly a hint of a smile on his face. You click the ‘end call’ button and sigh. It seems like this unobtainable crush you had on suguru for the past 9 months was still just that. Why had you never seen him around town or campus? Granted, it was a really big school and everything but never once had you seen him, by god you would remember that face.

You snap out of your trance back to your white claw and scroll to find your texts with Utahime while you down the can

‘your place in 10?’ you text her.

‘Yes, sorry kinda last minute but some of haibara and i’s other friends are going to come too’ she texts back and you groan, not in the mood to meet new people.

The thought of having to be social enough to go to the bar was anxiety inducing, but now having to actually meet people before you’re drunk? You grab two more of the mini bottles of vodka you have in your freezer downing one and shoving the other in your pocket for when you get to Utahime’s apartment.

You walk into her unlocked flat without knocking, being too in your head from the FaceTime call and what it meant. Utahime is sitting on the counter, Haibara between her legs as they are making out passionately. Her arms wrapped around his neck, legs spread in her skirt so Haibara (and you) can see her turquoise panties.

“Oh I’m sorry,” you giggle staring at the scene in front of you. “I thought you were expecting me.”

Utahime, obviously embarrassed jumps down from the counter acting like nothing happened and walks over to give you a hug. Wearing a blue skirt, white shirt, and red bow in her hair she looks as cutely innocent as ever. You looked about as opposite as her as possible with your ripped denim skirt, black crop top revealing your cleavage just perfectly, and black and white checkered vans.

“How did the call go?” She asks as Haibara excuses himself to the bathroom trying, but failing, to hide his boner from their make out session.

“Great but I have news about like the four of them -“ you’re cut off by a knock at the apartment door.

In walks a girl with white hair, a black button up black mini skirt, with knee high socks. She was accompanied by two average looking men, obviously whipped by her aura.

“Mei Mei!” Utahime runs over to her and gives her a hug. You’re a little taken aback by the warm welcome this new girl received versus your very awkward one. Well I guess that’s what you get for not knocking.

Haibara comes out of the bathroom looking like he just splashed cold water on his face and neck, “Bayer, Kokun, good to see you.” Walking up to them to dab them up.

You take this opportunity to down the mini bottle in your pocket and take a sip of Utahime’s sprite she left sitting on the counter. Sheeeeesh, three mini bottles and a white claw in before you even leave for the bar? You’re feeling pretty good and confident. Walking in on the couple’s make out session made you realize how long it had been since you got any action. Besides your vibrator working over time, usually after Geto’s streams.

You force yourself out of your thoughts and walk up to the trio chit chatting with the couple and introduce yourself. “Hey I’m y/n” and extend your hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you, y/n, Utahime has told me a lot about you.” Mei Mei says in her naturally sultry voice. Your eyes nervously look at Utahime, consider she had never mentioned this attractive white haired woman to you before.

“We’re new friends, she just moved in down the hallway and these two guys helped her move in.” Utahime says reading your mind.

“Ah nice to meet you, I’m just a few floors up if you ever need anything.” You respond.

“All we’re missing is Yuki right?” Mei Mei asks as she directs her attention to Utahime.

“Yeah but who knows if she’ll show up. I’ll text her to just meet us at the bar.”

With that, the group heads out to go to one of the dive bars in the city, a little place with karaoke on Thursdays. Supposedly Mei Mei knows the bouncer quite well, walking up first in the crowd to whisper something in his ear, finger trailing down his chest. You’re not sure what she said to him, only that his cheeks turned red and he let the 5 of you in without checking your IDs at all. From what you heard this place didn’t let fakes in very easily so you wonder what could have bribed that man. You grab a high top table in the back near the pool tables with Utahime and Mei Mei as the 3 boys go to grab you drinks.

“Can we sing a girls song together?” You propose to the two.

“Y/n are you drunk already? You’d never suggest that sober.” Utahime raises her eyebrows at you.

“How about the spice girls?” You ask ignoring her question. Mei Mei nods with a slight smirk. As you go up to put your name on a slip of paper the boys come back with the drinks. The DJ winks at you and you immediately regret your decision.

A few songs later and it seems your drink is gone, listening to the boys talk about sports and video games, as the two girls chat about their one annoying neighbor on their floor that has the loudest sex imaginable.

You walk up to the bar and stand patiently next to a tall beautiful blonde woman.. you try not to stare as the bartender comes over to her and asks her order. “I’ll take a whiskey and ginger ale, and whatever this girl is having.” She smirks pointing her thumb over to you. “Vodka cran please,” you squeak out to the bartender, nervously smiling at her.

The man goes to make the drinks as she sticks out her hand, “Hi pretty, I’m Yuki.”

“Oh you’re Yuki! Friends with Mei Mei and Utahime?” You stumble out the words remembering her name from earlier.

“Sorry, I’m y/n. I’m here with them tonight, I can take you to them if you’d like?”

Yuki leaves her card with the bartender and hands you your drink. “After you,” she smiles taking the first sip of her drink looking you up and down smugly. You grab her free hand with her vape in it and weave from the bar back to the table you all had claimed.

“I found someone you guys may know?” You shyly interject trying to be funny. The whole group erupts into various versions of “Yuki! Oh my god so good to see you!” She props herself up on the last open barstool at the table. Baggy red cargo pants and a black crop top, no bra with nipple piercings pretty obvious. She catches you staring and nods her head in a “come here” kind of way.

“So what’s your type?” She asks.

“Uh what?” You question back.

“What’s your type of woman?…or man I guess.” She eyes you up and down as if trying to determine your sexuality.

“Uh… I like long hair? And someone who can have a good time?” You’ve never had to answer that question on the spot so you think your answer was decent enough.

She lets out a chuckle and takes another sip of her drink. “So you’re not playing for a single side I’m hearing.” She smirks and puts her arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah I guess not” you smile back realizing how close your faces are.

Just then the DJ announces the next karaoke names, “y/n, Utahime and Mei Mei are going to sing us Wannabe by the Spice Girls!”

“y/nnnn” a tipsy Utahime grabs your hand and starts rushing you three to the stage. One thing you forgot about this place is you have to take a shot before singing. You three take your shots of what tastes like battery acid, stinging going down and trying not to think about it as the music starts.

The 90s classic song gets ever girl in the bar singing and dancing at the edge of the stage and you see Haibara behind the crowd video taping your performance.

Your words are starting to slur slightly and you are just having a great time feeling like a pop star. You swear up in the balcony of the bar you see a white head of hair jamming out and screaming the words but hey everyone’s having a good time!

The song comes to a close and the three of you get escorted off stage. You split from the two and say “I’m going to step outside to smoke for a second,” as you do when you drink.

You walk up to the back door of the bar and as you go to push, you feel someone else pull. With the alcohol in your system, your reaction time is a little delayed. Before you know it you are falling forward towards the gravel with your arms out.

“Oh Jesus Christ” you mumble out assessing the damage while you sit up so you are on your knees. Only a few scrapes as the person on the other side of the door comes up to you and puts a hand on your back.

“Oh my god are you okay I’m sorry,” you hear a familiar voice. Too familiar.

You turn around to meet amber eyes inches from your face.

“Geto?” Your jaw drops.

—

A/N I had to go through my archives to see what someone would wear to a bar in 2018 😭 and look up a discord mods hourly pay on google 😭 also had a bi panic moment w Yuki and Utahime and MeiMei as usual if you can’t tell

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rjalker · 5 months

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idk if anybody has said this to u yet but thank u for spreading awareness about how the public domain actually works, if i saw one more "you Have to call him willie and he HAS to be black and white" post i think id have a conniption fit

Thank you! It's very frustrating seeing all the fearmongering misinformation. I've been looking forward to this for the last year, but somehow I didn't realize that so many people had no idea what the Public Domain was at all...

I'm hoping people will actually put in the effort to do research and learn about these things so we don't have this problem every year, rather than everyone jumping on the "lets play attack dog for Disney's lawyers for free by screaming copyright infringement at every drawing of Mickey Mouse" bandwagon.

Like. It is baffling in the extreme how many people have instantly turned into corporate attack dogs over things that they do not in any way understand, but somehow they think they're being anticapitalist by doing so? They think they're being progressive by leaping to fearmonger and uphold Disney's stranglehold over the Public Domain by spreading fearmongering and misinformation that...literally didn't even exist before five days ago.

People now think that because Mickey Mouse is Public Domain, this somehow magically means it's literally illegal to draw Mickey Mouse in any way. It's confounding. And its just showing how deep the corporate propaganda runs. And I'm really really hoping people will start waking up and realizing how fucked up their reactions to this is and start actually learning about the Public Domain instead of immediately just spreading blatant misinformation about it that a five second google search will dispel.

I've now had to see four people proclaiming, with utmost self-righteous confidance, that celebrating the Public Domain, and celebrating that Mickey Mouse is Public Domain, is "corporate bootlicking for Disney" and "free advertising for Disney".

Because these people saw everyone saying not to give JK Rowling free advertising by continuing to celebrate her characters when the books have bigotry baked into them, and now think that they can just say the same thing about anything no matter what the context, even when they have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Disney has done so much to destroy awareness of the Public Domain that people are now convinced that celebrating the Public Domain...is capitalistic greed. Really makes you wish werewolf transformations were in real life because god fucking damn do I want to maul some billionaires.

I am once again begging everyone, as a bare bones beginning, to their understanding of the Public Domain, to go watch this presentation by the Internet Archive from 2019 if you're able to. (Some of them have subtitles, some of them don't, I'm going to ask if they have a transcript)

Here's a relevant clip from video 14.

[ID: A short video clip of Joseph Gratz at the 2019 Internet Archive conference about the Public Domain, sitting in a yellow chair as he speaks, saying and gesturing along with his words: "That's the, uh, official, maybe impractical strategy. The unofficial, um, more practical strategy is...be bold! Right?" [applause] "If you're acting in good faith, people are not going, ah, most copyright holders are people of good faith, who do not want to go after people who are acting in good faith, who are not harming their legitimate economic interests. And so if you're doing something, even pretty boldly, that is, that you believe and have a basis to believe, uh, and a reasonable basis to believe is in the Public Domain, or is fair use -- going out and doing it is the way, um, is the way forward, rather than being endlessly afraid." His speech ends, there's a short pause, then more applause. End ID.]

#Asks #replies #anonymous #Public Domain #Mickey Mouse #Steamboat Willie #corporate propaganda #misinformation correction #anticapitalism #disney #fuck disney #Minnie Mouse #Public domain characters #fearmongering correction #you are not immune to propaganda #described images #transcribed audio

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xpoisoned-stardustx · 5 months

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THE SHOWS ARE HOLDING BACK!!!

Tw: mentions of sewer-slide, mentions of mental illness, mentions of trauma (I’m just putting this here for cautions)

And by that I mean holding back on angst

I’m not just talking about TSAMS or TLAES, I’m talkin’ ALL SHOWS (granted, i haven’t watched all of the recent show things but I do know they haven’t been to angst)

Now, you might think, “oh stardust, but we’ve had lots of angst! I mean think of Cassie on TRWAGS-“

Yeah, Cassie, the only one who has recently had a lot of angst, and it was only really her being mad her phone wasn’t working and talking a bit about her dad (im not including The Musical btw). I also feel like we should’ve had a lot more Gregory angst after Rocky’s death. I mean Gregory blamed himself for that, it wouldn’t just go away. And Circus Baby should be had more angst after Gregory almost frickin died!!! The characters recover so quickly and just go back to their goofy normal lives. Obviously I won’t cover everything for these shows but some of my main thoughts.

“uh but what about Glamrock Chica on TFFAGCS?”

Not. Enough. Glamrock Chica was easily back to normal after blaming herself for their whole issue because of stuff out of her control, having an exstistential crisis after being kicked out of the PizzaPlex, getting a message from her parents she doesn’t remember and so on. Also if ANYONE is getting angst it should be Funtime Foxy and his brother. Funtime Foxy almost drowned when he was around 10, Fexy (the brother) tried to stab FT.Foxy while screaming “THIS IS MY BODY, I WANT IT BACK” because they were in the same body at some point, he and his brother burned their house down because when FT.Foxy was running away from his brother they knocked over candles, then his brother literally tried to commit s—-ide by not leaving the burning building and saying “if I can’t have this I’d rather die” so FT.Foxy had to drag him out the house, then Fexy got sent to a mental hospital/asylum/psych ward (idk which one exactly) and lots of other things. And we haven’t seen ANY Lolbit angst whatsoever. Don’t even get me started on Mangle or Ray. (You can just tell this is my favourite show, can’t you?)

“…uhhh TFAFFS??”

Tbh I don’t watch that one alot but FT.Freddy Deffinetly has abondonment issues, as far as I know we never find out where that came from, Shadow Freddy had a bit of angst, Freddy is doing loads of things that I’m not bothered to say and ‘The Evil Gang’ or whatever their name is are another case of ‘comic relief villains’ I think.

“TLAES or TSAMS?????”

I already posted about this by rebloggin soemthing but ‘Sun gets Therapy’ was so disappointing, Lunar acts like things are normal, I feel like Solar should be seeing things after killing his Moon because as the Old Moon said “when you kill someone, they’re not there, but you can see them” or something like that, Moon just screams and gets mad at people for angst and he did apologise to Monty and have that whole “I’m a loser blah blah blah” but that’s it, Sun is hiding ALOT and other things.

“but TMGAFS has alot of angst”

which is why it’s my second favourite show. I’m just sad Foxy said him and Monty are more acquaintances than friends :(… I respect that show. If anyone else wants to criticise the angst there, be my guest.

Anyways I’m just rambling here. I’m gonna go listen to the entire C.C.C.C. album again, toodles.

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cheolhub · 7 months

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thank u for the tag jj @rubyreduji 🤍

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

bias list

seungcheol (seventeen)

sangyeon (the boyz)

soobin (txt)

taeyong (nct)

namjoon (bts)

vernon (seventeen)

jungwoo (nct)

juhaknyeon (the boyz)

intak (p1harmony)

san (ateez)

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i biased joon first!! it was lit rally love at first sight with him

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

VERNON. vernon is actually my everything and i look at pics of him when i’m feeling down. he IS my comfort person

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

oh god this is actually the hardest question ever but i think id want to spend the day with soobin bc he can out-loser me and i would honestly just be blushing the entire time im with cheol

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his fucking face idk… ok seriously i love his eyes sm <3 maybe his lips 🫦

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

HELP everything but he’s so fucking funny and he doesn’t even have to try like 😭 i just love him idk what else to say. he is my favorite person ever

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

i’d probably die in shock before i was able to tell hin anything but maybe just “thank you for making me lose my mind every day for the past year”

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

uh….. 😭 cheol probably

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

goth lol

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

tyong!! he’s 5’9 and im 5’5

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

p1harmony

tagging: @gyuswhore @cutieboos @agustdiv1ne + whoever wants to join (no pressure!)

#[ 🎰: games ! ]

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shwarmii · 10 months

Note

how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

#shwarmi #me #disenchanted if #disenchanted #luci rivera #edit: ngl the Cardlin video (or however you spell his name) swuicks me out a bit bc he says ''[I miss] Your body..'' and i went #EW UGH GROSS GET AWAY FROM ME but it was two words so ill allow it to stay on the list bc not everybody is so anti towards the #idea of other people seeing them as sexy. gahh i hate being seen as sexually appealing. makes me wanna gag ugh #*squicks

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rayssion · 8 months

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Very rushed review of The Kane Chronicles:

Generally I'd give the series 3.75. These are some other points:

First person POV: this's totally personal opinion, but I don't go well with first person pov, mainly because it just feels so limited because if you use third person pov it gives you space to talk about everything and everyone in the same paragraph without being objective and without modifying them to the character's speculations. First person pov can be really good though if it was consistent and done well.

Changing POVs: another thing that I personally don't vibe with, changing povs. Now I can really endure first person pov if done well and if it was consistent as I said, I can even enjoy it. But in this case I didn't because they kept changing. I know Rick is very well capable of doing a great fppov, example the pjo series and he really did well with changing perspectives during hoo but the thing is, hoo is written in third pov. Here I can't be jumping from dealing with Carter's emotions to Sadie's existential crisis every now and then, if you really want to cover both characters without lacking then do a third pov as in hoo. But I understand it was part of development, Rick tried fppov in pjo, then again in tkc but with two persons, probably figured later that it won't do and changed the style for hoo, so it's alright. Ngl though, it gives messy writing sometimes, remindes me of when I read One Of Us Is Lying, it felt inconsistent and all over the place without going anywhere actually, I didn't like that book.

Love interests and quick/rushed love life: now whoever you are, just know that I'm giving you the bombastic side eye if you ever said that you believe in love at first sight, nah-uh. I'm not bluffing guys I hate it, you can't just look at someone and be like "omg they're so perfect I love them they're the loml!!". Like I can understand if it's like or admiration but not love. And here in this books we had a great deal of it. This's totally objective and personal opinion but I hate how Sadie went quickly with it and was like "oh, I love this Anubis dude" like you just saw him girl what?? Same thing with Carter and Zia but I actually enjoyed how Zia didn't immediately go with Carter but took her time first, gave herself a space to evaluate and also for personal growth, I liked it. Another thing is how Anubis kissed Sadie, bro that was your third encounter so far guys, and Anubis is like 5000 years old and Sadie just turned thirteen, I'm not saying don't date because of Anubis age, but I'm saying she's just a child and Anubis just kissed her with no consent, not to mention it was on the third encounter (do I look petty because of this emphasis?, probably but anyways). And I know people would be like "what's wrong with kissing at thirteen?" Nothing at all, I just think it's still early. But nothing will ever beat the shock I had with kissing at nine, looking at you A Thousand Boy Kisses.

How Set quickly agreed with Sadie it felt weird to me, as if he's other plans but yeah, I actually like Set so we're turning a blind eye on this.

Execution: the writing was kind of poor at describing the magic or the feeling of gods inside you, it wasn't bad but I know Rick can do better by levels. But I really loved the fight scenes, it was done so well I can't say anything else about it, much better that boo tbh.

The whole Sadie Anubis Walt thing, because I love Walt, he was a really good character, but I just didn't like the solution. For me I'd prefer it if Walt ends up dying and Anubis banished or forbade to ever getting close to Sadie. Idk about you guys, but if you look at pjo and hoo it just feels like the main characters having a lover is such a big concept within the books, and we all know this's not how real life works, so I'd really rather it ends up with Sadie alone than the two boys emerging in one just to be with her. Point for polyamorous representation in Sadie though, even if the book didn't focus on it much.

Idk if you picked it yet or no but I'm a big antiromantic person, so you can say I'm just a hater for all the couples in this series alright.

Now for the big thing! Flat characters: I really don't have to elaborate on this, the characters felt a little too superficial to me, the only one I can sympathize with was Carter, but other than that they all felt one dimensional. It didn't help me to blend in the mood and didn't help me getting attached to any of them. In fact I had like 150 pages left of the serpant's shadow and I delayed it for three? Four? Days with no shame because I felt I had had enough, I wasn't even anticipating finishing the book because I just fell out, I didn't feel any noticeable character development through the books and I really finished it for the sake of finishing actually.

The books didn't really expand with the concept of lose and grief, it all just felt like "we lost our parents? Our uncle is possessed? We lost some friends? Our friend is dying with each second? Yeah, let's go fight some demons and rebel gods" like they were so plot heavy that they didn't go through emotions of characters one on one (maybe that's why there wasn't any palpable character development). Surly they'll be like "oh I'm so sad all these people died and we have no parents now and we are to fight some big chaos monster, oh I feel so sad" but they don't show it! I don't want you to tell me how you feel, I want you to show me! Let me feel it myself.

The comments while recording, I didn't necessarily hate them or like them. I just think it'd do well without them, they're giving Wattpad fanfics ngl.

But all in all, great adventures, got to know more about Egyptian gods ( whom I knew nothing about except for Anubis and Ra, even though I live in Egypt now lol) added another character to my faves (Carter ofc, tbh the books ruined Anubis for me, and Walt would be great if he died ") so yeah,

see you soon with Magnus Chase and the gods of Asgard!!

#dead Walt supremacy lol #the kane chronicles #kane chronicles #carter kane #sadie kane #walt stone #tkc anubis #anubis deity #god anubis #zia rashid #rrverse #riordanverse #rick riordan #tkc #series review #book review

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your-friendly-sociopath · 1 year

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Can you do Alastor who is jealous of his S/O’s has crush on someone else? S/O was dreaming of marrying some another charming guy like Tom Riddle from Harry Potter, and Peter Pan from Once Upon A Time(even it’s not on list but I simp for cute ones can’t help it LOL)

Lolol, Ima simp for Tom riddle too 😂

Jealous Alastor x Reader

You were a simple sinner demon, trying to find their way through hell

When you heard of the happy hotel you decided to go check it out

And by check it out I mean get a free room and lots of therapy (bc we all need it lets be honest)

Now you joined before the whole news fiasco and Alastor

On the morning of the interview Charlie and Vaggie were rushing to make the hotel look good for any new potential sinners

And angle had left earlier for who knows what

You decided to stay at the hotel while Charlie and Vaggie left to 666 news

You watched the whole showdown on the tiny tv in the lobby

You felt kinda bad for Charlie, knowing that after that interview no sinner would want to be a part of the hotel

Suddenly your phone started ringing

You checked the caller ID to see it was charlie

So you answered

"Heya charlie...I saw the interview, how're you holding up?"

You heard her answer, voice wavery like she had been crying

"Oh pfft I'm totally fine, it's not like many demons watch the news anyways.."

You could tell by her tone that she was faking enthusiasm

"Listen...(Y/n) , the limo got a flat tire. We may take a bit longer to get to the hotel. Sorry"

You shrugged her of before realizing she couldn't see you

"Nah it's fine, don't worry about the hotel. I'm keeping an eye on it"

She sighed in relief

"ok, thank (Y/n). Hopefully we won't be much longer"

With that you ended the call and started scrolling through your phone out of boredom

Ten or so minutes later you heard a knock on the door

Thinking it was charlie returning you went to open the door

To your surprise and horror you found the radio demon at the door

"Hel-" your spammed the door in confusion, before opening it again "-lo"

You slammed it again

You looked around the empty lobby trying to decide if you should let the monster outside in or not

Gathering all the courage you could you opened the door again

"May I speak now?"

You blinked up at the radio demon

"Uh...sure?"

"Alastor, darling, pleasure to meet you quite a pleasure"

He spoke with such enthusiasm and energy it was hard to believe he was dangerous

"Forgive me for my sudden intrusion but I saw the disaster on the picture show and just had to visit this place!"

You nodded awkwardly

"Might I ask where the manager is?"

It took you a sec to process what he said

Manager--owner.. Charlie

"Oh uh she's not here right now... sorry"

You responded quietly

"Oh? Do you happen to where she is, my dear?"

"Uh, flat tire"

You said dumbly

His grin somehow grew wider as he looked around

"so it's just you and I then?"

You nodded

"Well then what a delightful surprise!"

"Suuure.."

You said slowly

"I'm not sure if I'd be as affective as charlie, but I'm sure I can help you with whatever you need"

Alastor chuckled

"Oh no, darling, though I appreciate your efforts I'm afraid what I have to say only concerns the princess"

"Oh," you said awkwardly, "well shes gotten held up sooo.."

Alastor raised an eyebrow

You shrugged awkwardly

"Idk when she'll return" you finished

"Well then I suppose I'll wait here!" Alastor responded

You squeaked in surprise and groaned quietly

"Ok fine cool cool cool" you muttered, walking past him

You heard his static filled chuckle behind

"I don't believe I caught your name, darling"

"Oh, sorry, I'm (Y/n)" you gave him a polite smile

Alastor found that he quite liked your smile

-----

Later after charlie had returned with vaggie and angle in tow, and Alastor finally revealing why he had arrived

You were chilling in the library, lounging on an old couch while looking at fanart of your fav characters (*cough* tom riddle *cough*)

Suddenly there was a loud pop behind you, like static

You turned and saw no one

You shrugged it off as your imagination, and eventually fell asleep on the couch

Alastor appeared out of the shadows and watched you sleep for a moment, before carrying you back to your room

He didn't know who you were looking at, but he knew that after your encounter that morning, he wanted you all for himself

"You will be mine (Y/n)~"

I'm so incredibly sorry for being late, I got distracted with a part two to His Fawn and some other fica I'm working on

#yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hh #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere radio demon

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gold-rhine · 3 months

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Out of curiosity, how would you go about writing a neuvi/furina fic? I agree that there is a lot of potential for really good fics but for some reason the fandom waters it down (pun not intended but cyno would be proud). However, I've noticed that with other ships in the fandom too. They have interesting potential but then I'll look for good food and get morsels 😭 of what I'm looking for. Like I have had to comb through some alhaitham/kaveh fics that were uh very different from canon characterization. And it's like I JUST WANT GOOD FOOD PLS.

hmm. i personally would be really interested not in shipping them, but in like. snippets of interactions throughout the ages, from establishing roles to settling in a routine to then how these respective roles are getting in a way of genuine contact. bc like there are points where they try to reach out, but it fails in a mundanely tragic way. like. in furina's note, she says she told him thousand times to go out and interact with "our" ppl. like she clearly was well intentioned and tried to be nice. but like. it didnt work! he never did go out and interact with humans until post AQ, when in lantern rite he says he was just indifferent before. bc like, from his perspective its not "his" people, and also its his boss, whose also his colonizer, being like "haha you should get out more lol!" ofc he was like "idk what she's even thinking about", which is what he says about her note. but furina both didn't know the vishap context and was kept in constraints of self-absorbed goddess role, so the way she tried to be nice would never work like that.

i think ppl focus too much on how furina suffered more than jesus and forget why, which is bc she had to play the role of an entitled asshole and she had to interact with others thru that role, despite being mortified at how horrible she sounds. this is why she now thinks he hates her and all her coworkers too. she never had luxury of being kind or nice to ppl before, and if you take that away, her character loses a lot of complexity.

i think itd be interesting to explore her trying to be good to ppl while trapped in an asshole attitude, and sadly fail.

if i was paid like 100 bucks to write them romantically, i think id write the retrospective i was talking before for early chapters, but then take one of two options:

either keep canon story and explore them interacting thru excrutiating awkwardness post AQ

or as more interesting option, id re-write AQ a bit to add their interactions and let some of these interactions actually connect. i'd also let furina find out the truth about sovereign and what it means in relation to archons stealing his power. also, i'd restructure canon confrontation so that neuvi takes focal point instead of traveler. and then i'd go ham with drama on that archon trial, but also re-do meeting with focalors bc gurl. talk to your humansona pls.

btw i strongly dislike fandom being like oh, furina\rizzley was the reason neuvi saved humanity, like nooo its missing entire point. he saved humans without any selfish reason to do so, in fact, against his motivation for revenge, making that decision about a single human ruins neuvi's character. so in this furina\neuvi case i'd make conflict like. they don't know if she's gonna survive is focalors dies, bc then choosing to save fontain becomes the-nonselfish choice for him again and she gets to be the one with agency to decide to risk it

#rhine talks

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mushed-kid · 12 days

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I don't know if someone has already asked you this, or if you're even in the fandom. But who is your favorite Voltron character and why?

oh difficult…. theres so many i like.

when i first watched voltron, my favorite was pidge, because im a firm believer in transmasc pidge. and uh well yk i was idk fourteen or amthn and there was thsi kid that was everything i ever wanted to be, like super smart and cool and in my mind a trans guy, and my hair kinda looked a bit alike sometimes. like i Really saw myself in pidge.

but then it turned into lance because he wasnt what i wanted to be he was everything i was. like .. idk i just really relate to him because hes always making stupid jokes and people think hes stupid and he is kinda stupid and hes sad and … hes just like me. and wveryone liked him and he had this hot ass bf and i wanted to be him. id go through that war to be him. and he had this whole family thing going on, and i think i love my family more than anything and hes just so me. and he acts so confident but he really isnt, and hes kinda bad at stuff and hes still so so himself. and then he grows up to become this confident and secure guy that he pretended to be, and i want to be him fr.

wow bro is saying stuff. get a diary🙄 sorry

its lance👍

#mush ask #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #lance mcclain

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i-am-an-arson-enthusiast · 24 days

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so we all know how i hate myself (im cool, im trying my best, i just have shit mental health) and like theres that one person who asked what my deadname is almost 2 months ago now right. so he was one of the four people ever i shared my tumblr with. (functionally no one now) uh so i decided to go thru *every single post* he *ever* posted and i realise how fucking uncomfortable i was with what he said. even then. adn i never said anything abt it. ok so lets go thru some of the stuff hes posted abt me bc i think its worth while.

(random post, not even related to how people look) he reblogged "your so beautiful <3" SIR YOU DON'T JUST DO THAT or at least to me

(post appreciating WOMEN i rebloged) he rb saying "i love my man <3" which one im not a woman why would u say that there? also two thats weird??? huh???? pretty sure i wasnt even feeling like a dude when he posted that lmao

classic: him saying hes my future. LMAO NO BBG YOU SAID THAT EXACTLY A MONTH BEFORE SHOWING HOW BIGGOTED YOU ARE

all the posts very clearly crushing over me. like. it was so obvious.

HIS LAST POST IS TAGGED YANDRE. THATS NOT OK. at least to me. thats really fucked up.

OMG THE HOODIE POST. ok so he posted saying (this is copy and pasted): "Me and him aren't dating but I want him to keep my hoodie in case it's cold or I js want him to wear it to match with his cute Lil face ❤️♥️" *insert my horrified face with my hand over my mouth* no. sir. no.

ok not a post but the fact within 3 weeks he had: gotten over a whole crush, gotten another crush, and got a whole gf???? idk maybe im violently arospec but thats weird as shit. can i have some alloromantics tell me its weird.

again not a post but my friends now ex asked him his opinion on gay people (i was violently queer around him) and he legit said "i only have a problem with *some* gay people" SIR. THE ALLYSHIP LEFT AS SOON AS YOU HAD FALLING OUT WITH A QUEER PERSON

moral of the story: he was always fucked up and i should have listened to myself and my friends.

so. would it be funny to tag him in this/comment on his shit with my reactions. someone talk me out of this. it would be funny right. right. right. like come on. hes not gonna talk to me irl. hes scared of me. ill death stare at him if he comes close to me. come on. id never be alone near him. it would be funny right. right. come on. guys.

#trans #woah a real text post #shitty friends #queer #a bit of homophobia in this one #shitty people

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scintillyyy · 10 months

Text

catching up on some current comics

td:r #10

listen i am, as a whole, not super fond of the whole bernard knows and tim has no idea bernard knows thing in general because it makes tim look super dumb but also since i am a post-crisis girlie and some of tim's biggest stressors were people finding out his secret id despite his wishes i can't help but think that post-crisis tim would in fact feel very betrayed by this

listen i do like seeing jack and tim giving him a hug especially after fitzmartin wrongly said that she felt like tim's story with his parents was done way back when (she was incorrect, tim's parents are so fundamental to his story even after they die) but uh. as i am a drake parent girlie i'm going to go ahead and quibble with one thing and that's that suits weren't jack's signature look by any means lmao. it does feel a bit ~drake industries boss~ fanon-y. jack was almost always dressed wearing normal clothes. my favorite outfits include his wife's funeral get-up, his depression era matching with dana pajamas, and his keystone city purple sweater. actually i feel like he's most often drawn wearing sweaters and slacks. he also had a tendency to wear a collared shirt under his sweaters.

once again fitzmartin leaning into the ~maybe you don't belong~ thing which is not a favorite of mine. like he should have insecurities, yes, but by this point he should be pretty darn secure in his place in the batfam at least.

i wouldn't mind so much if it were more tied to the whole feeling adrift due to losing his entire history and then gaining it back and having to navigate the new relationships that are closer to what they were post-crisis but still fundamentally different now and that's a weird place to be or something. but idk to me that's different than feeling like he doesn't belong. i guess this is the villain trying to prey on him so it's understandable but i also am meh on it.

bernard talking to batman and being like "tim's in trouble" (not robin's in trouble) and it's like. hm. does batman know that bernard knows, but tim doesn't know that bernard knows??? is batman okay with this??? what is happening.

enjoy the team up to say tim but also tim being like =o they came for me??? i can do this?? like yes the point of tim as the team up robin is that he calls in the team to help so i feel like this almost there but somewhat misses the mark a bit

"i've found a family, home, friends" etc. idk i feel like we're retreading old ground here. this is old news. tim is well aware of this.

...and i will give that he didn't go into this wanting to take the robin mantle, though he did volunteer when he realized it had to be him. but hm. he didn't want to be his dad. he loved his dad but um. please read batman #480.

"i thought i needed to make my way in this world alone. i thought i was alone." im sorry. fundamentally misunderstanding of the team up robin who knows in his heart that this job can't be done alone (and forced batman along for the ride).

okay like i feel like most of my issues are from he fact that it got cancelled and had to wrap up. so uh. overall i feel like mid ending for a mid series, but eh. i didn't hate it. probably won't put it on the list for re-read. would liked to have seen it continue on to see if it did hit it's stride eventually but won't necessarily miss it? it existed. i don't think fitzmartin had a fantastic handle on what makes tim tim, but she wasn't terrible.

superboy: man of tomorrow

i'm not hating it but it's not the greatest thing i've ever read. the turns and twists are not exactly a surprise. i'm sure that kon will overcome and beat all the cosmoteers or whatever

kon just seems really, really young and naive and the art isn't necessarily helping that

i just want young justice to be 20 year olds okay

okay the kon & clark dynamic is not great and the part of me that takes comics seriously is like. sigh. the young justice show was a scourge.

the part of me that does not take comics seriously at all because it's fiction and none of these people are real does think it's hilarious when everybody gets fanon!tim'd

:( :( oh noes...clark didn't realize kon was gone for 2 weeks...he must grovel...grovel in apology...now that kon has decided 2 leave they realize just how much he meant 2 them....they took him for granted....:( :( :( (jk jk jk)

knight terrors: robin

pros: tim called cassandra cassie. i liked the art? babs goes by oracle and drinks coffee (i guess).

cons: why is this a jason & tim book? who asked for this. at least they're fighting as they should be. why does nobody use code-names. "i know this place it was dad's place" tim u lived there too lmao. the least you could say is "this was our old condo". oh good, we're re-hashing captain boomerang. which as much as i'm a drake parent girlie, this was already done in blackest night and better (because it was dick & tim). also as a drake girlie, everytime tim hallucinates his parents being mean to him it feeds into the whole fanon thing where his parents hated him even though the point of these nightmare hallucinations is that it's not how they felt about their son at all and that's how you know they're fake.

one more pro: him having the nightmare morph into bruce, cassandra, steph, and dick being killed by the boomerangs and none for anyone else was pretty decent. if only they weren't cowards and gave us helena & tim back then she could be there too.

okay one more pro i did like the panel of tim curled up in his bed shaking and screaming because mood

but overall....nah. i'll read the next one though just to see how this mess ends.

#sometimes i do read (current) comics

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