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ronance4everbrainrot · 2 years

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Stranger Things incorrect quote generator (feat. The Russian Squad, The Sinclairs + Robin and Max, The Party - Adults)

Pt 13

The Russian Squad

Yuri: Hey.

Murray: Hey?

Yuri: I can't sleep. :/

Murray: I can. Goodnight.

(such a king)

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Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?

Murray: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

(Dangerous and weird but Badass indeed)

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Hopper: Just be careful, Joyce!

Joyce: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Hopper!

Joyce: It's everything around me that's careless.

(I know right, they should be more careful)

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Joyce: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Murray: What's wrong with you??

Joyce: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Hopper: No, they mean other than that.

Joyce: Ohhhhhh.

Joyce: I haven't slept in 4 days.

(Let Joyce rest 😪)

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Dimitri: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck.

Yuri: Who told you my secret?

(it's not really a secret)

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Dimitri: Look guys, I need help.

Hopper: Love help?

Yuri: Financial help?

Joyce: Emotional help?

Murray: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Murray*

Murray: What?

(He's just asking a question? Why you being weird?)

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Murray: What are you two arguing about this time?

Joyce: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!

Hopper: Cry me a table, Joyce.

(It's "how the river has turned" smh Hopper)

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Joyce: Do you want some tea?

Murray: What are the options?

Joyce: Yes or no.

(She's not in one of he best moods rn)

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Murray: Life is like Joyce. It's short.

(luckily it's not as short as me, or life would be over already 😪)

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Hopper: Trouble at 2 o'clock!

Yuri: *looks down at their watch*

Yuri: Now, how do you know that?

(he can see in into the future, obviously)

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Yuri: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts!

Murray: Eyy, that’s the spirit!

Yuri: *gasps* whErE???!!!??

(i feel like he definitely believes in ghost but I'm not sure if he'd be scared or not)

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Hopper: Hey, are you okay?

Murray: Yeah.

Hopper: You don't look okay...

Murray: Then stop looking.

(him after Alexei 😪)

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Hopper: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?

Yuri: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

Hopper:

Yuri: I don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

(Well he wasn't there when the other two met you)

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Dimitri: *is hugging Joyce*

Hopper: Hey! It's my turn to hug Joyce!

Hopper: *grabs Joyce*

Murray: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!

Dimitri: No, It's still my turn!

Joyce: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!

Dimitri: But we need the moral support!

Hopper: And you're small! Which is cute!

Murray: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.

Joyce: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

(I also want hugs 😪)

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Murray: That's not funny.

Yuri: I thought it was funny.

Murray: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

(He would laugh at a funeral tho)

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Yuri: I know one person who finds me funny!

Murray: Okay, who?... and you can't say yourself!

Yuri: Okay then I'm out.

(love that this came right after)

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Murray: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it.

Joyce: Murray, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Yuri?

(these 3 basically are one story)

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Yuri: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

Dimitri: What did you do?!

Yuri: NOBODY DIED!

Dimitri: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

(what did Yuri do 😪)

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Murray: Yuri! I thought you were dead!

Yuri: No, just in deep cover.

Murray: ...But it was an open casket.

Yuri: It was very deep.

(this probably also fits into that story lol)

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Yuri: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Hopper, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

(oh wow, did he win?)

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Joyce: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Yuri: Well Dimitri and I-

Dimitri: *elbows Yuri*

Yuri: ...wouldn't know.

(what- 👁️👄👁️ I know what you are 👀)

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Hopper: What’s up with Yuri? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Joyce: They're just a little overwhelmed.

Hopper: Why?

Joyce: Dimitri smiled at them.

(I feel you, Yuri. I feel you)

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Murray: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Dimitri: Take them!

Hopper: Punch them in the neck!

Joyce: Say thank you!

Yuri: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Murray: …

Murray: No.

(Joyce, always showing manners 🤗)

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Joyce I got us matching friendship bracelets, and you say I don't care about our relationship.

Hopper: These are handcuffs.

Joyce: Yeah, 'cause we're partners in crime!

(Joyce, I love you, but....but nothing, you are perfect)

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Dimitri, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Murray, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Yuri, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Hopper, appalled: Call the exorcist

(Basically )

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Dimitri, in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein.

Joyce: Can I go to the bathroom?

Dimitri, in the same horrible German accent: Nein!

(I just had to but this in because the actor is German 💪🇩🇪✨)

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Dimitri: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Hopper: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Murray: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

(Murray ate ✨💪✨)

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Dimitri: Uh, Hopper? Joyce is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof.

Hopper: What?

Murray: I think they meant, Joyce is drowning.

Hopper: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile*

Joyce: *is drowning*

Yuri: OH MY GOD, JOYCE! KEEP SWIMMING!

Joyce: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Yuri: JOYCE!

(What is happening here.....the dialog seems accurate tho)

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Yuri: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

(stfu, you joke about it yourself)

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Joyce: Do you even know what an amulet is?

Dimitri: Of course I do! I eat amulets sometimes. I like the ones with cheese and onions!

Joyce: Dimitri, those are omelettes.

Dimitri: Oh. Then I’ve got nothing.

(I'm hungry now....Ooh it's 7:11 am lol)

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Joyce: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Hopper's birthday invitations.

Murray: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Joyce: "Hopper's birthday".

Murray: So, what do they say instead?

Joyce: "Hopper’s bi".

Murray:

Murray: Works out either way.

(How-....how would you know 👀🤔.......sus 😑)

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Murray: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.

Yuri: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

(well, what can I say....accurate👍 and I finally got that again 😪 the first time I had this, it wasn't fitting and I skipped it)

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[Murray adopting Robin AU: The Sinclairs + Robin and Max]

Lucas: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

Robin:

Lucas: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?

Robin: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

(I don't know if it's accurate, but I just love Lucas saying that ✨)

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Lucas: Can I have some?

Erica, mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

(Why do you even try, Lucas?)

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Erica: Where did you get that tomato soup?

Charles: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

(Honestly the only thing I can remember about him is from S4 and still not much lol)

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Sue: Which country has the most birds?

Sue: Portu-geese!

Robin: That's a language.

Sue: Portu-gull?

Robin: Good recovery.

Max: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Charles: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

(it's game night and they had to come up with bird puns....?... Well I like this)

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Robin: I’m sad.

Lucas: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das.

Lucas: And das not good.

(he tried, but maybe it worked!)

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Sue: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Lucas: Nat 20 Charisma.

Sue: That is NOT how that works-

(Idk if it's accurate but the DnD reference is fitting)

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Erica: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Lucas: Not if they consent to it.

Sue: Depends on who your stabbing.

Charles: YES??!!?

(..Just a normal conversation between their family...👍)

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Robin: Look, Erica! It's the good Kush!

Erica: It's the dollar store, how good can it be?

(Robin "I'm poor" Buckley taking Erica "You can't spell America without Erica" Sinclair shopping)

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Lucas: I'm bored.

Max: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Lucas: Sure!

Charles, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Robin down!!

(He'd do anything for Max, I love him 🥺...but what were they going to do with Robin😑)

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Sue: Charles, I need some advice.

Charles: You need advice from ME?

Sue: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

(Something never been seen before 😱)

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Sue: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Erica: Burn the house down.

Sue: And what did you do?

Erica: I made dinner.

Sue:

Erica:

Sue:

Erica: And burnt the house down.

(Erica can't cook confirmed)

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Max: Do you cook?

Lucas: I made a cake once.

Sue: Yeah, it was good.

Lucas: Really?

Sue: Don’t make me lie twice, Lucas.

(she's such a good Mom, lying for him to impress Max🥺)

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Sue: I give up. I am so tired.

Charles: Get the emergency supply!

Lucas: *carries Robin and places them in front of Sue*

Robin: *smiles*

Sue: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

(All the Moms adore Robin... Besides her own...👍...)

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Erica: Who the fuck-

Lucas: Language!

Erica: Whom the fuck-

Lucas: No.

(Basically when Erica and Murray met in S3)

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Erica: Lucas, I don't like you.

Lucas: What did you say?

Erica: You heard me!

Lucas, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.

(that definitely happend often)

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Robin: I have a new hoodie.

Erica: Wrong.

Erica: We have a new hoodie.

(new addition to the AU, the protection Squad loves wearing Robin's clothes, even tho Erica literally just disappears in them. She's uses them as pajamas)

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Charles: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.

Erica: What did you do Dad?

Charles: a Mistake.

(...Is the house burning down again?)

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Sue: YOU CHEATED!

Erica: So did dad, but hey, Lucas knew it all and even sorted out your wedding, so what’s the problem?

Charles: I… can confirm that that actually happened.

Sue: …What.

(I just found it funny how fitting the lines were originally it's "so did my dad, but hey my mom knew" but then Sue's reaction wouldn't be fitting if she knew, so I added Lucas)

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Sue: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Robin: It was me...

Sue: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

(Like I said, moms adore Robin, understandably so.)

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Sue, knocking on the door: Max, open up!

Max: It all started when I was a kid.

Sue: That’s not what I-

Lucas: Let them finish!

(Omg 👀 Lucas cut his mom off for Max 😱 that's love, bitch 🙏)

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Erica: What is love?

Sue: An emotional minefield.

Charles: A neurochemical reaction.

Robin: Baby don't hurt me.

(I don't know the context, but Robin was there as support for Erica..?.. and sang that quietly to herself)

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Kidnapper: We have your child

Robin: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Robin: Oh god, you have Erica

(Even the kidnapper knows Robin basically adopted Erica ✨ or maybe they called the sinclair house and Robin picked up the phone)

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Charles: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Erica doesn't take me seriously enough.

Max: "Sometimes"?

Lucas: "Enough"?

Charles:

Lucas: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

(Oh Damn, but she doesn't take anyone serious tho, unless the situation is serious)

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Max: Are you sure this is safe?

Charles: Safer than Flintstone vitamin gummies in a bottle.

Charles: Keep twisting, junior! All you’re gonna get is clicks.

(I love the clicking sound from these child proof cap things)

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Max: I won a new phone in a race.

Charles: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone, Max?

Max: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me.

(Max "The Zoomer" Mayfield, everyone! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏)

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Lucas: Guys, I have a question.

Erica: kys <3

Lucas: I love you too.

Robin: Ah, yes. Siblings.

(that's basically how the chatfics go)

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Sue: Robin, can I ask you a question?

Robin: Sure, anything.

Sue: Why don't you go back to your own house and leave us alone?

(Oop-...ok no! She loves Robin, so this is fake, but it's fitting because Robin is over at their house a lot so I find it funny)

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*Charles and Robin looking at a locked gate into a park*

Both: Aw. :(

Robin: You know what they say.

Charles: Please don’t-

Robin: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Charles: Frick-

(well you let her into your house, you gotta live with the consequences)

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Erica: Dammit, you ruin everything!

Charles: You're welcome.

(Erica in her teenage phase ig)

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*Sue teaching Erica to drive and taking Lucas along for the ride*

Sue: That's a pothole. To the left!

Erica: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Lucas, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Erica: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Sue, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Erica: Country Roads.

Lucas: To the place.

Erica and Lucas in unison: I Belong!

Sue, crying harder: What the fuck?

(I love this a lot. Just a mother trying to teach her daughter how to drive. (set in the future ofc))

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Lucas: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

(more like shooting with your slingshot. And the people are Jason)

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Lucas: Are you drunk?

Charles: Only on the spirit of Christmas!

Max: And the spirit of whisky.

(Christmas at the Sinclairs including Max..Erica be "They seem drunk" talking about her parents)

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Sue: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.

Erica & Max:

Erica: Was it Max?

(Omg how rude of you Erica, just because she is white? Smh 😔/j)

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Lucas: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Dad's birthday invitations.

Sue: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Lucas: "Charles's birthday".

Sue: So, what do they say instead?

Lucas: "Charles’s bi".

Sue:

Sue: Works out either way.

(She knows something we don’t 👀)

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Lucas: Good morning.

Robin: Good morning.

Sue: Good morning.

Erica: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Max: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Charles: ERICA!-

Erica: What? I didn't curse!

Charles: Sorry, force of habit..

(just thought this would be funny to add)

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Charles You’re drunk.

Sue:Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Charles.

(Smh Charles, go use grammarly or smth)

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Sue: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Sue: *aggressively throws water bottles*

Max: Uh... what's up with them?

Erica: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Sue: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!

Robin, crying: It's working.

(This should have happened after the fight with Steve)

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Sue: What do you call disobeying the law?

The Squad: A hobby.

Sue: *crosses their arms*

The Squad: That we do not engage in.

(after Max 'won' a phone in a 'race', Sue gave a lecture)

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Charles: Lucas likes to win. When they were 8, a little Club Scout friend of theirs bragged they could sell the most cookies.

Charles: Damned if Lucas didn't walk the neighborhood till they got blisters on their feet, and won by 10 boxes.

Charles: Best part is, Lucas wasn't even a Club Scout.

(Omg, yes, I want this 🤲 let this be canon)

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Lucas: When I was a kid, Robin told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Erica: They are!

Lucas: FOR REAL?

Erica: No! Why did you fall for it again?

(Robin probably also ate the paper and actually thought they were edible too, as a kid)

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[The Party - Adults]

Jonathan: I fell—

Argyle: From heaven?

Jonathan: No, I literally fell—

Argyle: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Jonathan: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Argyle: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

(Jargyle, my love 🎶)

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Argyle: Knock, knock.

Will: Who's there?

Argyle: Boo!

Will: Boo who?

Argyle: Why are you crying?

Will: I'm not crying.

Argyle: Hello notcrying, I'm Will.

(best Jokester ever 👏✨)

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Erica: Do you want to know your gay name?

Will: My... my gay name?

Erica: Yeah, it's your first name

Will: Haha. Very funny Erica

(You know there should be the proposal thing but I just deleted that part because this more accurate)

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Robin: Do you want to know your gay name?

Will: My... my gay name?

Robin: Yeah, it's your first name-

Will: Haha. Very funny Robin-

Robin: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Will: Oh- oh my god.

(Well both are the first canon gays in stranger things so they're name together would be the gayest name ever. ✨Will Buckley✨ or ✨Wobin Byley✨ also they were probably drunk)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Mike: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Will, already taking off their clothes: God, Mike, you’re so fucking stupid.

(it was probably Mike in the Spanish class, with his C grade)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: How do you want your coffee?

Will: Black, like my soul.

Jonathan:

Jonathan: Will, your soul is a latte.

(but spicy with trauma ✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way.

Will: But your way is sheer force!

(no no, you misunderstood, her way is the queer force)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?

Robin: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

(Werewolf Robin concerned for Vampire Nancy 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Max: Didn't you die?!

Robin: That was weeks ago, dude. Things change.

(um...ok..?)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Max: Your life?

Nancy: I- well yes, but-

(her life is a mess tho 😪)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Why don't I like this person?

Max: I don't know. Maybe it's because they keep stealing your thunder.

Argyle: Maybe it's because their name is "Eddie". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Max: No.

Argyle: That's because your name is "Max".

(I don't think he would dislike Eddie, I just find the name thing funny)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

(well then I shouldn't have been allowed to write that one thing I wrote in that "Nancy and Robin in the bathroom" don't want to spoil it lol. You can read it here, if you want but if you want to finish the quotes first I'll also put it at the end)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Jonathan: Oh. We're going out?

Argyle: Wh...

(Jonathan no 🥺)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Lucas: Yesterday, I overheard Argyle saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Jonathan replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

(I mean if Argyle even questions it, then what the hell is Jonathan's idea)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Lucas: Not by the military!

(He'd also say something like "and we want you here El" which would be like a total contrast from S1)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

El: Can I have a private talk with you?

Lucas: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

(I-.. Lucas no, why did you say that... Also the private talk is about Eleven's feelings for max ✨Elumax✨... Honestly max should be in the middle of that ship name because she's the one dating both, but Elumax sounds so cute.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Anyone d-

Robin: Depressed?

Nancy: Drained?

Steve: Dumb?

Jonathan: Disliked?

Eddie: -done with their character sheet... what is wrong with you people...

(Eddie just wanted to play DnD)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Eddie: Can I bother you for a second?

Steve: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

(Steve would definitely say that to Eddie)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Steve: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Dustin will and will not eat.

Eddie: Grass? Yes!

Steve: Moss? Yes!!

Eddie: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Steve: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Eddie: Worms? Sometimes!

Steve: Rocks? Usually nah.

Eddie: Twigs? Usually!

Steve: Mike's cooking? Inconclusive!

Lucas: How did you… test this?

Steve: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Lucas: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Mike: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

(that's a normal day with the Hellfire club...Also Steve and Eddie obviously being the best dads to Dustin 😃👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: Are you coming to bed?

Dustin: I can't. This is important.

Robin: What?

Dustin: Someone is wrong on the internet.

(They are saying Gays didn't exsist in the 80s)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: I owe you one.

Robin: That’s ok. You can just let me date your girlfriend and we’ll call it even.

(Well you owe her one, so let her date Nancy 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I’m serious! They’re watching me! They’ve even got an agent following me! Don’t you believe me?

Will: Look, it’s not that I don’t believe you… It’s that I don’t believe you and I don’t care.

(Oof-... But it's true.... I'm the agent 🕴️)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: *is hugging Nancy*

Steve: Hey! It's my turn to hug Nancy!

Steve: *grabs Nancy*

Robin: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!

Jonathan: No, It's still my turn!

Nancy: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!

Steve: But we need the moral support!

Jonathan: And you're small! Which is cute!

Robin: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.

Nancy: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

(I also want to hug Nancy 😭 or want to be Nancy, I'm even smaller 👍)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Dustin: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Will: ...

Dustin: ...

Will: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

(S3 when they left Dustin on weathertop vibes or season 2 with the dance...i want you in my group 🙋‍♀️ you can join me!... Also Will asking what kind of fruits people are... I know what you are trying to do 👀)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

Robin: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Nancy: I said within reason, Robin. How about I murder that guy?

Robin: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Nancy: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

(I agree with Nancy. I thought you were smart, Robin.)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Mike, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?

Jonathan: Well, that's you.

Mike: Me?! Is that what I look like?

Jonathan: You don't know?

Mike: Busy day.

(that's probably him when he saw how he looked like at the airport)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Robin likes to win. When they were 8, a little Club Scout friend of theirs bragged they could sell the most cookies.

Nancy: Damned if Robin didn't walk the neighborhood till they got blisters on their feet, and won by 10 boxes.

Nancy: Best part is, Robin wasn't even a Club Scout.

(Omg, her and Lucas shall bond over that)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Robin: *sees Jonathan shoving Will into the washing machine while Nancy records and Argyle watches*

Robin: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

(Ye no, I'm not even gonna asks...)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy and Robin are in Paris.*

Nancy: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Robin: But...

Nancy: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Robin: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Nancy: Yeah.

Robin: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Nancy: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Robin: Okay, alright.

(you see I've never seen inception, would Nancy like it? Also operation Croissant)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: I can't believe you've done this.....

Robin: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Will, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

(Robin gifting Will something on their first time at the pride parade 🥺 I want them to interacted! I want them to know that they're both friends of Dorothy)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Two brooooos!

Robin: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Nancy: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Robin:

Nancy:

Robin: *tearing up*

Nancy: Babe, c'mon...

Robin: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Nancy: Babe...

(Nancy, how could you! 😭)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Will: We’re kind of missing something guys.

El: Cohesion?

Robin: Teamwork?

Max: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Nancy: And Mike is not here.

El: Oh, and that, yeah.

(ofc Will and Nancy notice but El doesn't and is the one saying "oh, and that, yeah." it's so funny)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I know you love them.

Mike: I am not in love with Will!

Robin, staring at Mike: I never said who...

Mike: *realizes*

Mike: Shit. Well, anyways-

(✨🥺Robin helping Mike with his feelings🥺✨)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Are you ready to commit?

Robin: Like, a crime or a relationship?

(Nancy: Yes)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Robin: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Nancy: This is a lie.

Nancy: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Nancy: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

(I say that too (never been in a relationship) and I actually believe I would do that lol, but well never had the opportunity to find out)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Argyle: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nancy: Do you take constructive criticism?

Robin: No, only cash or credit.

(this made me think of the tik tok sound of Glimpse of us but the lyrics being "Insert cash or select payment type")

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Jonathan: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

Argyle: Yes.

Jonathan: Which means they like both boys and girls.

Arygel: Ye- wait, what-

Will: Jonathan, that's not what bilingual means-

Jonathan: Shhh, it's okay Argyle. I still love you, man.

Argyle & Will: ...

Jonathan: bUT NOT LIKE THAT-

(but like that tho 👀 also Jonathan is very high)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Well that's it.

Hope you liked it!

Also click here, if want to read that "Nancy and Robin in the bathroom" thing, it's for the 'Murray adopting Robin' AU, which you can also check out if you want.

Lots of Love ✨💪🇩🇪😜✨

#very long post #long post #murry bauman #joyce byers #jim hopper #lucas sinclair #erica sinclair #robin buckley #max mayfield #nancy wheeler #ronance #jopper #lumax #elumax #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things incorrect quotes #idk what else to tag #Murray adopting Robin

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ss-shitstorm · 1 year

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🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

(u dont have to!!! i just like these they're fun bhhshshs)

hhhngng thank you fam okay

(Protip : It's all stuff that makes me cry until I puke thinkin of OP or Shitscram

Trivecta, AMIDY & RØRY- Riptide

Tash Sultana - Notion

Trivecta - Believe

Lord Huron - The Night We Met

BØRNS -American Money

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mrcowboydeanwinchester · 1 year

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hiiiiiii :) feels like we haven't talked in a g e s

how are you doing?? have you had the snow yet? It's a pretty cold snap, isn't it?

are you any good at choosing gifts for ppl? i have a dilemma. I'm rubbish at it.

<3333

hiya !! i know it's been FOREVER, i hope you're doing okay and that you're enjoying the holidays ✨

i have indeed had snow!! i'm living in two different places now with uni and all but i was lucky enough to see snow in both hehe. and i'm doing pretty well at the minute, i'm loving uni and it's fun being at home now for christmas too <3

i am not a great giftgiver BUT protip for next year - keep a running notes app note of things people say they like/want and it will make your life SO much easier come gift giving time

how are you !!! lovely to see you in my askbox again MWAH <3

#hiiiiii #what's up with your url tho why is it saying you've deactivated :(#tessa tag 🪶#ola answers

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thetshirtlady · 13 days

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kensuensilpong · 1 month

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Bombs Away (Valorant Montage)

Bombs Away 💣 (Valorant Montage) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5misG4oO7Q Dive into the most thrilling Valorant moments with our latest montage. Catch me live on Twitch: https://ift.tt/tEu051i Experience heart-stopping highlights, unforgettable gameplay, and the very best of Valorant, all curated to showcase the pinnacle of gaming excellence. Perfect for fans and aspiring pros alike. The video is about "Bombs Away 💣 (Valorant Montage)" but also tries to cover the following subjects: Thrilling Kills Compilation Masterful Valorant Strategies Unforgettable Valorant Moments TITLE: Bombs Away 💣 (Valorant Montage) ✅ Subscribe To My Channel For More Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@ken_suensilpong/?sub_confirmation=1 ✅ Stay Connected With Me: 👉 Twitch: twitch.tv/ken_suensilpong 👉 Instagram: https://ift.tt/ELU4qpI 👉 Discord: https://ift.tt/OBPQRUW ============================== ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 👉 Fresno 🏖️ (Valorant Montage) https://youtu.be/MQSrZn9k10Y?si=keMgkF98b-TMcvd9 👉 Up ✨ (Valorant Montage) https://youtu.be/CpY03Srrei0?si=Kb1ff9VpTy1OFgkM 👉 Mankyman 🤷‍♂️ (Valorant Montage) https://youtu.be/Mmqc3zc1dU4?si=l9EoFR4k2-G4DFdm 👉 Sailor Moon 🌙 (Valorant Montage) https://youtu.be/yiaJ7HJZbNg?si=L6olL9vQxt1p2pUs ============================= ✅ About kenS: Hey! I'm KenS, just a kid with big dreams and a bunch of Valorant montages to share. Here you'll find action, epic plays, and a bit of my journey to greatness. Subscribe to catch every moment and join the adventure! 🔔 Subscribe to my channel for more videos: https://www.youtube.com/@ken_suensilpong/?sub_confirmation=1 ===================== #valorant #bombsaway #montage #highlights #gameplay #epicplays #protips #valoranthighlights #valorantindia #valorantmoments #valorantgameplay Disclaimer: We do not accept any liability for any loss or damage which is incurred from you acting or not acting as a result of reading any of our publications. You acknowledge that you use the information we provide at your own risk. Do your own research. Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use © kenS via kenS https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNyjRPfCMveSHHNY-6NG-Ww March 30, 2024 at 03:11PM

#valorant #valorantmontage #valorantedit #valorantclips #valorantlive #valoranthighlights #valorantmoments #valorantgameplay

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gowomenbeauty · 3 months

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web99official · 8 months

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🦷📈 Navigating Google's Algorithm Updates - Why Dental SEO Experts Matter! 📈🦷

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my-weird-news · 9 months

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10 Ways to Save Money on Your Grocery Bill

Grocery Shopping: A Hilarious Survival Guide Alright, gather 'round, my fellow budget-conscious warriors of the supermarket jungle! 🛒 It's time to dive headfirst into the wild world of grocery shopping, where impulse buys and unexpected expenses lurk behind every aisle. But fear not! I'm here to arm you with the ultimate guide to conquering this retail battlefield and emerging victorious with your wallet and dignity intact. 💰💪 #SurvivalTip 1: Make a List (Or Risk Becoming a Cart-Wielding Impulse Monster) Picture this: you're at the grocery store, innocently strolling down the cereal aisle, when suddenly a box of limited edition unicorn-shaped marshmallow delights screams, "Buy me!" 🦄🥣 You're helpless, sucked into the vortex of temptation, and before you know it, your cart is bursting with impulsive choices like a kid at a candy store. Friends, this tragedy can be averted! Craft a list before you shop, a sacred scroll that guides you through the treacherous maze of temptation and into the land of budget victory. #ProTip 2: Coupons, Discounts, and the Thrill of the Deal Hunt Ah, coupons – those elusive slips of paper that transform even the most stoic adult into a bargain-hunting ninja. 🦸‍♂️🎫 Scout the local newspaper or the virtual jungle that is the internet for these magical artifacts. But wait, there's more! Store discounts and loyalty programs are your allies in this epic savings quest. You'll be high-fiving strangers in the frozen foods aisle when you realize you're practically robbing the place... of its deals. #EconomyHack 3: Bulk Buying – Because Who Needs a Lifetime Supply of Toothpaste? Let's talk bulk buying – the art of amassing enough cereal boxes to build a fortress, just in case. 🏰💥 Buying non-perishables in bulk is like investing in your future – assuming your future self won't be sick of oatmeal. 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If not, you're missing out on the thrill of being a frugal James Bond. 🕵️‍♂️ Slide from one store to the next, stealthily comparing prices and snagging deals, all while feeling like you're part of an elite savings squad. #HarvestHacks 7: The Art of Seasonal Shopping Fresh produce, my friends, is a fickle beast. Its price fluctuates like the stock market, depending on the season. 🍅🌽 So, why not dance with the seasons? Build your meals around the affordable bounty of nature, and watch as your bank account thanks you. #DIYMagic 8: Whole vs. Pre-Cut – The Battle for Your Budget Imagine a showdown between a whole pineapple and its pre-cut counterpart, complete with tiny cowboy hats. 🍍🤠 You see, pre-cut fruits and veggies are like convenience tax collectors, charging you extra for saving you a few knife-wielding minutes. Embrace the DIY spirit and get slicing – your wallet will applaud. #CashChampion 9: The Curious Case of Cash vs. Credit Cards Research shows that using cash or debit cards makes you feel the weight of every purchase, quite literally. 💸💳 It's like the universe's way of reminding you, "Hey, this money is real. Spend wisely, my friend!" Plus, the audible "thud" of dropping coins in your piggy bank is surprisingly satisfying. #FullStomachSaves 10: The Legend of Shopping on a Full Stomach Last but not least, the wisdom of not shopping on an empty stomach. 🍔🥗 It's like going to a buffet when you're ravenous – every aisle becomes a potential feast, and suddenly, that exotic cheese from the Swiss Alps seems like a must-have, even if it costs a kidney. So there you have it, brave grocery warriors – your battle-tested guide to outsmarting the shopping aisles and reigning supreme over your budget. Now, armed with these pearls of wisdom, go forth and conquer, one coupon-clipped, bulk-bought victory at a time! 🛒🏆# Grocery Shopping: A Hilarious Survival Guide Alright, gather 'round, my fellow budget-conscious warriors of the supermarket jungle! 🛒 It's time to dive headfirst into the wild world of grocery shopping, where impulse buys and unexpected expenses lurk behind every aisle. But fear not! I'm here to arm you with the ultimate guide to conquering this retail battlefield and emerging victorious with your wallet and dignity intact. 💰💪 #SurvivalTip 1: Make a List (Or Risk Becoming a Cart-Wielding Impulse Monster) Picture this: you're at the grocery store, innocently strolling down the cereal aisle, when suddenly a box of limited edition unicorn-shaped marshmallow delights screams, "Buy me!" 🦄🥣 You're helpless, sucked into the vortex of temptation, and before you know it, your cart is bursting with impulsive choices like a kid at a candy store. Friends, this tragedy can be averted! Craft a list before you shop, a sacred scroll that guides you through the treacherous maze of temptation and into the land of budget victory. #ProTip 2: Coupons, Discounts, and the Thrill of the Deal Hunt Ah, coupons – those elusive slips of paper that transform even the most stoic adult into a bargain-hunting ninja. 🦸‍♂️🎫 Scout the local newspaper or the virtual jungle that is the internet for these magical artifacts. But wait, there's more! Store discounts and loyalty programs are your allies in this epic savings quest. You'll be high-fiving strangers in the frozen foods aisle when you realize you're practically robbing the place... of its deals. #EconomyHack 3: Bulk Buying – Because Who Needs a Lifetime Supply of Toothpaste? Let's talk bulk buying – the art of amassing enough cereal boxes to build a fortress, just in case. 🏰💥 Buying non-perishables in bulk is like investing in your future – assuming your future self won't be sick of oatmeal. Just remember, there's a fine line between wise shopping and having a storage room full of canned beans that's reached critical mass. #DiscountAdventure 4: Discount Stores – Where Shopping Dreams Meet Wallet-Friendly Reality Aldi and Lidl, my friends – the Disneyland of budget shopping. These stores have cracked the code on how to deliver low prices while keeping things snazzy. 🎢✨ Bulk buying power, discounts, and the thrill of finding that artisanal cheese for half the price – what's not to love? #SecretWeapon 5: The Power of Generic Brands Now, let's chat about generic brands – the unsung heroes of the supermarket. 🦸‍♀️ Don't let flashy labels fool you; sometimes, the store-brand ketchup tastes exactly like the name-brand ketchup, but with extra money left in your wallet. It's a culinary win-win! #SneakyStrategy 6: Shop Around Like a Price-Detective Extraordinaire Have you ever embarked on a shopping spree across multiple stores in the name of savings? If not, you're missing out on the thrill of being a frugal James Bond. 🕵️‍♂️ Slide from one store to the next, stealthily comparing prices and snagging deals, all while feeling like you're part of an elite savings squad. #HarvestHacks 7: The Art of Seasonal Shopping Fresh produce, my friends, is a fickle beast. Its price fluctuates like the stock market, depending on the season. 🍅🌽 So, why not dance with the seasons? Build your meals around the affordable bounty of nature, and watch as your bank account thanks you. #DIYMagic 8: Whole vs. Pre-Cut – The Battle for Your Budget Imagine a showdown between a whole pineapple and its pre-cut counterpart, complete with tiny cowboy hats. 🍍🤠 You see, pre-cut fruits and veggies are like convenience tax collectors, charging you extra for saving you a few knife-wielding minutes. Embrace the DIY spirit and get slicing – your wallet will applaud. #CashChampion 9: The Curious Case of Cash vs. Credit Cards Research shows that using cash or debit cards makes you feel the weight of every purchase, quite literally. 💸💳 It's like the universe's way of reminding you, "Hey, this money is real. Spend wisely, my friend!" Plus, the audible "thud" of dropping coins in your piggy bank is surprisingly satisfying. #FullStomachSaves 10: The Legend of Shopping on a Full Stomach Last but not least, the wisdom of not shopping on an empty stomach. 🍔🥗 It's like going to a buffet when you're ravenous – every aisle becomes a potential feast, and suddenly, that exotic cheese from the Swiss Alps seems like a must-have, even if it costs a kidney. So there you have it, brave grocery warriors – your battle-tested guide to outsmarting the shopping aisles and reigning supreme over your budget. Now, armed with these pearls of wisdom, go forth and conquer, one coupon-clipped, bulk-bought victory at a time! 🛒🏆 Read the full article

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himawariqurrotaaini · 11 months

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Hallyu (2) : Kimchi 🥒🥬

Pontianak. 14:05. 11062023.

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.

Hehe. Kayak kembali ke tahun 2020-2021, masa-masa getolnya bikin kimchi, terlalu ditekuni sampai jualan di masa itu.

Salah satu hikmah pandemi, yang awam seperti saya jadi belajar jugalah tentang hubungan pencernaan dan daya tahan tubuh. Kurang lebihnya, kalau pencernaan kita kurang oke, imunitas juga ndak bagus, dan lebih mudah terkena covid, qadarullah semua seizin Allah. Kita kebagian tugas untuk ikhtiar 🤝🏻

Di masa itu, selain karena serangan drakor yang terlihat enaaaak makan mi rebus + kimchi (padahal yo palet lidah saya masih ndak nyambung dengan makanan korea yang dominan asam) alhamdulillaah juga dikelilingi teman-teman online yang senang belajar dan berbagi. Salah satunya ya bikin-bikin kimchi sendiri. Dibaca-baca eh ternyata keren ya kandungan kimchi itu, bau-bau tapi ternyata masuk dalam keluarga probiotik, khas ciri makanan fermentasi. Probiotik inilah ikhtiar memperbaiki sistem pencernaan dan imunitas kita. Salah satu motivasi rajin jualan kimchi juga ya ini. 💛

Sesuai prinsip dalam dunia masak-masaknya saya: kalau bisa repot, kenapa mesti mudah ✨🤏🏻 Filosofi ini terpakai seringnya untuk makanan berbau-bau luar negeri, karena seringkali biasanya kan orang-orang sana itu santai-santai aja kalau campur-campur alkohol atau per-babi-an (lard). Bahan yang agak-agak khawatir dari kimchi asli korea adalah gochujang (saos khas korea) yang mengandung alkohol, tapi alhamdulillaah ada kok yang halal. Jadi supaya lebih aman, ayok deh repot-repot bikin sendiri. Kalau terlalu rajin bikin sendiri kan rasanya juga bisa disesuaikan dengan selera indonesia gemahripahlohjinawi kita 😁

Salah satu kejadian lucu adalaaah... oh niat udah ada nih, eeeh tapi bahannya kok mahaaaaal 😖 sawi putih di Pontianak nih biasanya adalah import 😖 dan sebisa mungkin saya hindari sayur import hehe. Tapi percayalah, kalau udah jalannya.... jalan bikin kimchi 🤣 kok ya ada aja nemunya. Di pasar sentral sembako, ada tuh tauke / toke (sebutan untuk pedagang laki-laki tionghoa) yang jadi teman saya. Sawi-sawi putih yang agak basah disisihkan, supaya tidak merusak kualitas sawi lainnya. Ndak busuk kok, cuma ya ada basah-basah karena penyimpanan.

Saya nih termasuk yang suka beli sayur-sayur bentukan agak aneh begini. Yo karena lebih murah dan upaya tipis-tipis laaah mengurangi sampah buangan. Kasian mereka jelek-jelek, padahal ya rasanya sama aja. Jadi ingat pesan Ibu saya, beli sayur dedaunan itu justru harus yang bolong-bolong, karena tandanya ulat bisa makan daunnya mungkin tanpa racun pestisida.

Kelar deh masalah sawi mahal. Sawi yang sama, ternyata bisa lebih murah karena jelek penampilannya. Kacian. Lanjut deh ke cara bikinnya.

Sawi cuci bersih, kalau saya rendam selama minimal 3 jam, supaya segar lagi dia (sayur) dan upaya meluruhkan si obat-obat tanamannya. Udah dicuci, potong-potong deh. Kasi garam banyak-banyak. Diamkan. Kadang dibolak-balik. Biasanya bisa sampai 4 jam sampai si sawi layu-layu habis airnya. Bilas deh beberapa kali. Saya biasanya sampai 5 kali. Hahahahahah rajin kaan? 👏🏻 Soalnya kalau ndak sering dibilas, uasssssiiiinn tenan. Kalau mau praktis yaudah boleh deh bilasnya 3 kali, tapi direndam agak lama ya.

Blender buah pir atau apel dengan bawang putih, jahe, bawang bombay. Takarannya? Suka-suka. Aduk-aduk deh sama gochugaru (bubuk cabe khas korea. Kenapa khas? Ya soalnya ndak pedas macem rawit), kecap ikan (ini juga bauuuuu aku tak sukaaaa tapi tak bisa disubstitusi dengan apapuuunn 😖), dan gula. Saya ndak pakai garam lagi ya, karena kecap ikan itu asin.

Naaah rahasianya resep suka-sukanya saya ini ada pakai madu, jadi lebih apa ya? Legit? Wangi? Netral? Gitu deh. Biasanya saya pakai daun bawang, eh tapi lagi mahal, yaudah pake kucai sama wortel aja. Cuci bersih tanpa adegan rendam-rendam garam sampai layu. Tapi protips nyuci dedaunan mesti pakai garam ya, ikhtiar membunuh telur-telur cacing.

Udah deh. Diamkan dalam suhu ruangan sampai berbuih, kurang lebih semalaman. Kalau udah asam-asam berarti fermentasinya udah oke. ✨🤏🏻 Kuakui ini terlihat mudah, tapi sesungguhnya repot. Selamat mencoba! Ndak apa repot-repot, inshaAllah untuk kebaikan usus-usus ✨

Selamat mencoba!

Salam,

ayuprissakartika.

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playfulsparksp · 1 year

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Unlock the magic of storytelling with our animation and illustration expertise! ✨✏�� Discover the secrets to creating captivating characters and bringing them to life on the page or screen. 🎨✨ Emphasize their unique personalities and expressions for an unforgettable experience. Join us at #PlayfulSparks and ignite your creativity! #ProTips #Animation #ChildrensBooks #Marketing #Advertising Learn more at www.playfulsparks.com

#pro tips #animation #childrensbook #childrensbooks #advertising #marketing #playfulsparks

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knife-at-a-knife-fight · 1 year

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this post is scheduled a far bit out so you can’t tie me to a date and long enough out that i’ll forget about it and not take it down before it goes up (bonus points if i’m not on here when we hit the scheduled time) because i can’t be trusted to just be helpful once in a while when doing so involves being honest with people who are determined to make that difficult and painful but protip; hey is that comment i made kinda off? did i say something oddly argumentative? does doing what i just did seem awfully out of character for me? do i seem like i’m trying to piss you off and being weirdly cryptic about it? Do I care about something I really have little reason to, like you struck a nerve on something i have no position to be making a comment about? Did I start something with only an infinitesimal amount of wiggle room to claim plausible deniability?

Well might i introduce you to: ✨ critical thinking ✨ If you, person i know, are sitting there going “why the hell would he do that?” then my top recommendation, much to my own chagrin (and ultimate self loathing; for i’m in a “hey maybe i should open up to people a bit” mood but i’m not exactly someone people give a shit about routinely so this would be out of place to say to people straight up; and i will later resent myself for giving away some of my best tactics so readily), would be to ask “hey this is odd, is something up?” If you’re not in the mood to deal with my shit (fair point; no one really ever is), you are always welcome to tell me to fuck off.

Why, you ask? Well, most readily, i’m an asshole. Unfiltered, I am an asshole. “But you value that filter immensely, where did it go?” you make a fair point, me asking the disembodied questions. I do value that filter immensely, and it’s not gone, it’s very much there, what I said was a choice, and a self detrimental one at that. “What’s self detrimental about that?” Well it annoyed, frustrated, or pissed off the other person, didn’t it? It made them not want to deal with me - maybe even made them say it real clearly (see above point about fucking off for clarification on what this could mean)?

For someone who is constantly effortfully avoiding being a burden on others (while low key wanting someone to care) yet has a lot of people relying on them, isolating myself is difficult. Yes, I can easily bank on no one asking about me, that’s a given, but i really can’t bank on others not coming to me with something about themselves. So if i want to be left alone without people questioning why, the answer that has worked very well thus far is simple: don’t ask them to leave you alone; get them to ask you to leave them alone. Make it their choice. Don’t push them away, make them push you away so that they think you’re just doing them a favour and respecting what they’ve requested.

“Okay but also why the absolute living fuck would you do this?” Again, great question, me asking the disembodied questions. It’s a bit of a combination of reasons. the one you try to tell yourself is that it’s for their benefit; if you put them in a position where it is more than reasonable to not be doing anything and to not want to be there at that time, then you can’t be let down by them. Put them in a position where it’s Your Fault that they don't try, and you don’t have to worry about them refusing to try of their own volition. Secondly, being vulnerable with people who have left you hanging and have deeply fucked you up as a result is hard and painful. And we can avoid having the opportunity for that vulnerability, let alone for them to respond poorly to it, if we detach ourself from them. And additionally, we can avoid resenting their indifference-at-best or their dedication to dropping you on important things if we don’t give them a chance to be there.

“But that doesn’t really answer why you would do this. Like what’s the situation in which you would do this, not the theoretical self ascribed value of it?” I gotta say, me asking the disembodied questions, you are absolutely crushing it today, this is why i love you, this questioning is sublime, you really care about getting to the root of it and you be picking up on the minor deflections and you are not having it; very well played. Of course the details vary but in short: something is up. Like Mr Mulaney said to whom we can only assume is Al Pachino, “I’m not feeling too good, dog.” If they know something happened, it might be that, there could be more to it that they don’t know about. or more likely, there are whole other things that i’ve not spoken about At All. If you, person i know, find yourself in this situation, i think the first point of consideration is simply; what do you know about me in relation to the present moment? Do you know what’s currently bothering me (if you answer yourself, then you do NOT know what’s bothering me)? Do you know what things are going on that are taking a toll on me? Are the only things you know about conceptual? Do you know about any active, existent, tangible, pressing issues or concerns? And secondly to consider; have i been pulling away? And as established, do you know what it looks like when i do? Have you been pushing me away? Did i orchestrate that (bonus points if i did it by being right about something to make it less obvious)? Have you actually heard about me recently? Do you know where I am during this conversation if it is by phone or text?

When I feel like hell I’m not likely to give myself the chance to be further hurt - even if that means destroying the chance to receive support. I hate gambling with my wellbeing. The odds have to be mighty fine or i have to be doing damn well for me to be willing to do that. Being alone hurts less than being denied help again and again and again.

This isn’t a call to action, it’s an explanation. “yeah but i don’t want to deal with you when you’re being an asshole, idc why you’re doing it” I know. That’s why i do it. I prefer to blame myself than someone else. I prefer it be my fault.

tldr; if i’m being weirdly argumentative out of seemingly nowhere then in my own self destructively masochistic way i’m trying to protect you by ensuring you don’t have the chance to fuck things up as i am aware that i’m trending downwards and don’t want to negatively impact you by removing you from the situation before i feel worse, while also avoiding too great of suspicions by making it seem like the distance was your choice or desire alone rather than mine.

tune in next time to learn about my impressive ability to deflect questions and avoid answering things - and how this isn’t because i don’t want to discuss the topic at hand, but rather the opposite!

#this is the first of 6 of these #i'm going to forget about these #i'm pretty sure i'm busy at the scheduled time #but i'll be surprised if i let more than two of these go up #a lil 'how to' for dealing with me #except i hate telling people that directly #because if they know the playbook and still watch me fall through the cracks #then there's no benefit of the doubt left to give #this is for someone specific but if you think it's you then it's probably not #mine #i should probably tag these as a group in some way #uhhh group

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