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#“ig i dont feel like much of a *person* at all is what i mean”
bunnihearted · 4 months
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sometimes i fantasize abt being the one with the clingy gf instead of being the clingy gf ㅠㅠ
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empathy is so damn confusing. i get it in theory, but in practice ? like i sorta think of myself as low / flux empathy but am i really ? how much of that is actually low sympathy and compasssion ?
cognitive empathy is understanding why someone feels a way, and ive read and researched and trained myself enough to be very good at that, but its all logical analysis. is that still empathy ? what if i can connect all the correct logical threads but when it comes to the conclusion i just cant wrap my emotions around it because why does it matter Really ? is that still empathy ? sometimes people are a curiosity, a fun little puzzle to analyze. certainly thats not empathy ?
emotional empathy, feeling what others feel, thats definitely not there too often. secondhand embarrassment maybe, and i used to not be able to look at people who cried but im not sure it affects me anymore
sympathy. i dont always feel that either. sometimes i still help because i feel compassion but sometimes compassion is also gone and its just to save face. reputation is especially important to me, without it id have nothing: power, support, admiration— theyre all intertwined.
sometimes its because i know i will or might care later so i better act accordingly to secure the future i want. or maybe i care about the relationship with the person as a whole if not whatever bullshit im having to deal with at the moment, so i do what i must to maintain their love and trust
sometimes its just base morality, my ideas of whats right and wrong, that stop me from being as cruel as id like. or reputation. it always comes back to reputation when im that far gone. the fun of burning everything to the ground just isnt worth the effort itll take to rebuild it all again yk ?
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kostektyw · 2 years
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hm not to sound harsh but im so close to unfollowing ppl who keep putting the latest tublemr drama on my dash
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sotogalmo · 6 months
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5:(?) — 6:04
It's turning dark. "No children" is playing. I feel a pit in my stomach or maybe something around there. I dunno why.
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#thinking of that one time some kid said he'll rape me just cuz i won a blooket game in math class ..... i know hes not honestly#but i think thats why im not feeling good ..??? .... i dunno ....... people scare me sometimes ....... and im not sure why but whenever im#in this house i think i cry here more ........ maybe that's because its like. in the middle of nowhere practically no one would ve here ....#i dont want to be scared .... maybe i should've brought my plushies here ......... i .... ...... i actually dont know why im crying#i want to stop the tears. and i mean. i can‼️ but ..... i dunno anymore .......... i want to stop feeling like a scared kid ......#ig this was a vent. i should make a poem of it ...... i don't roman to be disturbed.... i dont want him to know that im sad#.....i know animals feel our emotions. roxy ...... i miss her ..... i miss her ...... i miss her so much.... i wish she didn't had to die...#i miss everywhere .... i want mama back even if every time we talk it always ends up in a one sided fight ..... or mostly a debate#i want her with me.... i just want to stop crying.... i font want ppl to walk in on me crying my eyes out just because i had a feeling#of a pit in my stomach and then just randomly started to cry out of basically no reason but fear ..... i dont like feeling fear...#i want roxy back... i want to stop being scared ... i dont even need to cry. makes me feel small. like a toddler. i dont like it....#kinda funny too ... the shirt im wearing is mainly black n white with some greys. maybe i shouldve kept my cc cosplay for#days like these .... whenever i start crying like a kid and feelin like a toddler not wanting to be here at all but feeling to scared to die#or even too scared to live. feeling like everywhere is out to get me and scare me. just to scare me for fun... thats what that kid did#at first i didn't react at all... i mean. no one heard him at all. no one heard him say he was gonna rape me. because like. how??#he doesn't know where i live and he sucks balls.... and i just didn't believe him. but now he makes me scared. i hate it. i hate it. i hate#it. i hate it so much. i think it makes me remember those times where someone scared me. like. jumpscared me from behind#its nice yes. but now i just. i just think that he likes scaring me for him(different person. Jason would never say shit to me. he#just jumpscares me. thats all). how many days are until Thanksgiving.....?? .....im not sure why but im thinking its 5....#i can just hear a voice in my head say it's 5 days until thanksgiving..... but.... maybe not?? maybe its 6 days.. yeah#i think its 6 days until thanksgiving.... cant wait to eat some food on thanksgiving........ but i think i already lost my appetite...#vent#rape mention#oh yeah ....also. he did say i was autistic. hes right. but then he said he was gonna rape me ... i dont like him .i hate school#i just eant to go back to elementary. and play with toys and maybe play with my family but i dont they wanna play with me......#i think i can make it thru the day tho. ...since well..tommorrows another day and i can get thru this day like anyother day#i just ... dunno ..... maybe i should sleep .......#but then again whwtif i have noghtmares?? like. actusly nightmares?? i dont wana jave them ... but being awake is to scary
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bisaster-energy · 1 year
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#how i survived bobby mackey's personal hell#yeah very deancoded song keeping me up#WE CAN ARGUE SEMANTICS OVER WHO LEFT WHO FIRST#yeah it's always the idea that ''cas is always leaving'' BUT.#there have been times when dean has left cas is some way. whether kicking him out of the bunker or#icing him out for some mistake or another#dean will always feel betrayed an abandoned if cas decides he cannot deal. he cannot stay because#ONE THING'S FOR SURE!! I NEEDED YOU MOST!#dean will always feel like the disadvantaged one! he'll always feel the neediest#he cares how cas feels yeah but that's what makes dean so delicious and annoying at the same time#his pain is so vast it makes him so human. like cas said he feels things so acutely#dean thinks that's what it's all about no matter how badly i treat you how much pain i put you through if i tear your heart out#if you leave. if you leave i cannot bear it. no matter what i said you should've stayed. hand in unlovable hand#dean is crazy for this obviously cas shouldn't have to stay if he's just gonna get spat on and treated like dirt#but dean is sooooo interesting he's like so what. we stay together we're family i needed you i need you how dare you walk away#idk this song just makes me think about him ig#like dean feels like his need for cas trumps everything else yeah i acted despicably but I'd rather he stay and be resentful than. well.#but cas really cannot grasp this i dont think. why would someone say that and not really mean it. you can't say im fead to you#and expect me to be like ok see u tomorrow#and yeah. need to cas doesn't mean love..it means usefulness. we know this. but dean doesn't know#so he's like well cas knows i cant function without him and he's walking away I can't i cant#and cas is like i cant stay he clearly can't stand me and being here is only making it worse#but if dean had just spoken up. if he'd just said stay cas would've done it no matter how bad it hurt#even though dean just verbally tore him apart even if he physically did. it wouldn't matter if he'd just say that word#but he didn't. he never does.#he gets so torn when cas leaves wondering why he can't just stay but if he were to open his mouth and ask would anything come out?#a need so great and you cant say a damn thing.#it's just so insane that dean can be so bitter i dont care about all that i just needed you there i needed you MOST even.#but all he does is push AWAY what he wants to hold CLOSE. crazy crazy unhealthy man. i love him#dean studies
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cheonstapes · 4 months
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HAPPY 1K THOUGH LET GO AHHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU
But request time gurl!😘😌✊, so what about a nerd!Miguel\dom x nerdygirl!reader LIKE IMAGINE THE FLUFF AND THE SMUT THERE BOTH BE A BLUSH MESS but I feel like Miguel would take the lead and show he dom when doing it like dont blame me! 😭✊ like he still nerdy Miguel we all know the sweet boy but let make the nerd that friend s with the popular group and have a girlfriend who is nerdy!reader and which is a very shy person then Miguel is.
Pls my life depends on this request gurl and I hope your having a great day though BYE STILL SO HAPPY FOR YOU EACHING 1k following
-🐈
miguel o’hara stars in… ‘OUR FIRST TIME’ (゚ω゚)
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*・゜゚・*:.。..。.miguel o’hara x reader.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
SMUT
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you and your nerdy boyfie, miguel, have your first time together 🩷
cw; loss of virginity, creampie!!!!!, iloveyous, it’s actually really cute, womb fucking ig, softdom!nerd!miguel, NAWT PROODREAD!!!
2k+ words
@cheonstapes: thank you sm lovelie🩷🩷 apologies it took so long but this was so fun to write and i love your mind. i hope you enjoy beautiful! also tumblr keeps fucking up my italics and bolds so im gonna add them on later!
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you and miguel had to have been the most stereotypical couple at the university.
who would’ve guessed the two biggest nerds on campus would’ve gotten together — especially when it was because of your shared interest in genetics. but to miguel’s friends, it was so sweet — a little cringe, but sweet. seeing that it had already been a year since you two started dating, the two of you not being able to hold a conversation without stuttering and blushed profusely was quite concerning.
every time you looked him in the eyes, your heart would suddenly beat a million times faster — face flushing, hands trembling as you try to come off as calm as possible. it was so embarrassing, you could cry just thinking about it. he had such pretty eyes hidden behind those thin frames, didn’t make it better that he would stare into your soul every time you talked.
but miguel wasn’t any better — in fact, he was worse. his whole friendship group being the talk of the college helped miguel to open up more, the persistent attention meaning he had to adapt to being surrounded by people. the incessant staring? that’s him trying to make himself less nervous by making you more nervous so you would stop looking at him so he could admire you without you realising — long, i know. but he loved how sweet you were, the way you were so deeply in love with him — just like he was with you.
walking out of your biology lecture, he speeds up walking to catch you on the othwr side of the room — gently slipping his hands into yours. you tense, looking up at his handsome face before relaxing — “ah, m-miggy!” he smiles so softly, wrapping his beefy arm around your waist. “hey, pretty — you finished for today?” his fingers squeeze the fat of your hips, pulling you into his chest as he leans against a nearby wall.
he always knew how to make you so fucking nervous, staring down at you like you were the centre of his world — which you in fact were. “yeah! i was just gonna go back to my dorm and study. would…well, it’s ok if you’re busy — but do you, maybe, wanna…” god, why is it so hard to ask your boyfriend to hangout! he knew what you wanted to ask, he just wanted to hear you say it. “do i wanna what, hm? i mean — i don’t have any plans later either, i was thinking of going to pete-“
“no!” a brief flicker of slight panic takes over your face, you refuse to be that much of a mess to the point where you can even ask your own boyfriend out. “i mean, would you like to come my dorm tonight? t-to study, obviously.” amazing job, girlfriend, amazing job. once again, he wore that stupidly handsome smirk — fingers kneading the soft flesh of your waist. “study? of course, babe — why didn’t you just ask?” prick.
miguel always said he found it easier to study when you were right next to him — as in, resting in between his legs as your head lay on his chest. “did you get the answer to number 8? i think i missed that lesson…” you tilt your head, looking up at him. you looked so cute with your little glasses as you studied, a small pout on your lips as you tap on his leg for him to help you out.
he was thinking a lot of things right now, and none of them were the answer for number 8. before he met you, miguel was always deep in his studies — head buried in a textbook every night. but now you’re his, he can’t think about anything else. the outline of your chest against your tight shirt, pert nipples straining against the fabric since you insist you feel better without a bra — he wasn’t a perv, but damn if you were making him feel like one.
“u-uh…i think — uhhhh…” he was really fucked. your cute little giggle and the way you shimmied around to sit on your knees, hands clutching his cheeks. “migs, you’re burning up! you ok?” he was no ok, not by a long shot. despite having so much attention on him simply because of the people he’s friends with, miguel was still very much a virgin. yeah, he’s jerked off before — but that was only after he met you. your entrance into his life awakened a part of his brain that he thought was forever stored away — and he did not know how to deal with it.
sex was something the two of you were yet to talk about, 2 years into the relationship and it was like you were kids about to have their first kiss. there were lingering touches here and there, but oh how badly he wants to feel your sweet pussy around him. “can… i touch you?” he could barely register the words that came out of his mouth before he takes in the way your face changes completely. the heat radiating from your cheeks could melt the arctic, that was the one thing you weren’t expecting to hear. at all.
of course, you were a virgin too — all in all saving yourself for miguel for when the time comes. you just didn’t expect it to be so soon. he looked so depraved already, panting softly — hair tousled from when he was laying down, you want him so, so bad. “u-uh, yeah — go ahead!” you didn’t mean to sound so enthusiastic, but miguel didn’t care — a hand immediately trailing up your plush thighs, toying with the edge of your panties under your skirt. “you’re…you’re so pretty.” he could feel his hands shaking, heart pounding in his chest — the warmth of your skin and the small moans leaving your lips were fucking with his head.
the tender skin was so sensitive, causing your thighs to tremble under his touch. he didn’t expect you to be so sensitive. fuck, did he want to tease you for it, but he couldn’t talk — not when he was already about to bust when you haven’t even touched him yet. “mmm — m-miggy.. please..touch me.” you could tell he wanted to, he just didn’t know where to start. his fingers ran up your inner thigh, teasingly running over the small wet patch on your cute panties.
he felt like a newborn learning how to walk again, the rugged rhythm in which he was working your little clit showed how inexperienced he is — but you didn’t care, especially not when you yourself couldn’t even notice his lack of technique. he fully pulled your panties down your legs, throwing them to the side — there was a sharp in take of breath from him as he stared at your bare cunt, his bulge pressing harder aganst the mattress.
“g-god, baby, can… can i taste you, please?” miguel couldn’t believe how desperate he sounded, he had dreamed about eating your pretty, little pussy out for ever now, the thought of you denying him that now would break him. “y-yeah, fuck. please, miggy.” his tongue immediately latched onto your clit, swirling and sucking it into his mouth as his fingers probed your tight hole.
he knew you would need some extra prep to be prepared for taking him, so he made sure to make you feel as good as possible — he wasn’t about to let your first time be your worst. the fat of your thighs were tight around his head, holding him in place as he steadily fucked you with his tongue. for someone who was a virgin only 20 minutes ago, he sure knew how to work that tongue — your breathy moans breaking through the sloppy squelching noises of your wetness.
“migs…i — mmph!” the sensation was unknown but not unwelcome. a firm pressure in your tummy that felt like a dam about to burst all over your boyfriend’s face. miguel’s watched enough porn to know what that sound meant, reluctantly sitting up from his position between your legs to peer down at you — drooling cock bobbing between his thighs. he licked your arousal from his lips, shakily grabbing onto your legs to push them over his shoulders.
“baby, ‘m not letting you cum until you’ve had my cock in you — ‘s not how it works.” he felt like he was going insane, the sight of your pussy, so tantalisingly close to his length — the chubby tip poking against your entrance. you could only nod, you couldn’t argue with that — not when you’ve been waiting for this moment. upon getting your approval, he wrapped a beefy hand around his cock — smearing his pre-cum along your puffy folds.
he was so slow when he pushed into you, the sheer girth of him stretching your poor pussy thin. “fuckin’ hell, baby— s-so, so tight.” his strong hips pounded against your pelvis, your skin tinging a faint shade of red. your body was jostled against the headboard with every thrust, a thick rim of cream forming at his base. miguel was lost in the feeling of your cunt, drooling mindlessly against your neck as he rammed deep inside of you.
“m-miguel…!” the harder he fucked into you, the shakier your voice was — whiny moans and heavy grunts reverberated through your small dorm room. he couldn’t believe how good fucking you felt, your velvety walls gripping onto him like a life line. miguel was completely delirious, only letting incoherent mumbles — a bruising grip on your waist as he brings you back against his cock.
“ohhh, f-fuck…! iloveyou, so — shit, so much!” your pussy was so good, he didn’t even realised it slipped out — i love you. he really did, and in this moment — there was nothing else but the two of you, connecting so beautifully as you give yourselves to each other fully. he messily sucks on the skin just below your ear, simply grinding into your womb as his hand trails down your back — squeezing the flesh of your ass to pull you flush against him.
“i…i love you too, migs.”
you..you love him too? fuck. his hips stilled, gooey cum filling your cunt raw as he pours all of his love into you. miguel’s back heaved, his arms giving out under him as he falls on top of you — wrapping an arm around your waist as he carefully rubs your clit. his heart was soaring, smiling down at you as he fucked himself into overstimulation — determined to see you cum all over his cock.
“my pretty girl, you’re all mine — wanna see you cum. you gonna cum for me, yeah?” god, his voice was husky and deep — tickling your ear and sending tingles down your spine. your legs trembled, cunt spasming as it gushed out that clear liquid. it coated the sheets below you, splashing against his stomach — a low, gravelly moan leaving miguel as he filled you with his cum once again.
the two of you laid in silence for a beat, panting softly as he rested on your chest. one of your hands moved up to cup his face, picking up his glasses from your bedside stand — placing them on his face, albeit with wonkily but it matched that dopey grin on his face. “i swear to god, i’ve turned you into an animal, migs! you sure that was your first time?” giggling, you kissed his lips softly — nimble fingers brushing through his sweaty hair.
“guess i got a bit carried away, huh?” he sighed, softly rubbing your tummy. “‘s not my fault i’ve got the most beautiful, sexiest, most loving, caring, perfect, goddess of a girlfriend anyone could wish for.”
miguel was embarrassingly in love with you, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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-smack myass like a drum
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dreamauri · 5 months
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hii!! i love your writing and i have an idea. toto wolff’s daughter used to date max but they broke up (bc yk mercedes and redbull rivalry) and she starts dating a footballer (it can be anyone that you want but i was thinking mason mount), but out of nowhere they break up and he shares in a podcast idk that shes still in love with her ex, max. id love to see how this would end 🫶🏻
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┊𝗕𝗟𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗗𝗔𝗬𝗦 ┇︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦˚₊   ┇ . 🌿 :: pairing — ( max verstappen x fem! wolff! reader ) ┇ . 🫧 :: ⁠genre — ( angst )  ┇ . 🌿 :: ⁠word count — ( 2, 104 )  ╰ 🫧  :: ⁠ content warning — ( X )
★ ☆ This was from like august, im so sorry its so late. ik the annon said anson mount, but i dont really know his personality that well, so you can just imagine any person you want ig ━━━━━
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( main master list | more of max verstappen ) ( requests )
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2021
Everything was so blurry. You could see the illumination coming from your phone, little blurry grey and blue texts. You couldn't feel your body, ragged, unsteady breaths falling to and from your lungs.
"Block him. And delete his number. I don't want you to go out with him or be seen with him ever again." Your father's strong voice was the only sound in the room. You looked up at him with pleading eyes, but he wouldn't even look at you, rubbing his eyes as he sat on the bed of your hotel room.
Too many things were happening at once. This wasn't fair. This was wrong. "Aber papa." [but dad] "My words are final, Y/N." He spoke with such authority and strictness, you hated it when he was like that with you. Looking back down at you phone, you saw the 'seen' under the last bubble of text you sent.
Panic shot through you like a sharp arrow, hurt climbing through you. Scrambling quickly, you block the number and delete the contact. You couldn't bare to see the reaction or the reply. And you stood like that for a few minutes, the world falling apart as Toto talked. But you weren't listening. And you didn't want to listen. You didn't want to hear his voice.
And before you were to even realize it, you'd smashed the phone against the wall.
You tore the Mercedes shirt off your body, replaced it with a random sweater, stomping around the room, collecting your things. "What are you doing?" Toto stood up, watching you stuff you belongings in your bag. He held your wrist to stop you but you only yanked your arm back, shouting something at him, anything at him.
Toto was defiantly taken aback. He's never seen his little girl like this. Eyes red with tears, yet so angry. He never even thought he'd hear such hurtful words from you either. No father ever wants to hear 'i hate you' from their daughter, and it hurt right in his chest. You shoved the Mercedes shirt in chest, zipping up your bag and headed straight for the door.
"My love—" "Ich bin keine tochter von dir." [I'm no daughter of yours] Was the last thing he heard from you before the door was slammed shut.
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2023
The Las Vegas GP had truly ruined the city. Max couldn't even have a nice drive from his hotel to the circuit in peace. The traffic was heavy and the honking was loud. At this point if max could, he'd just dump the car in any corner and walk the few kilometres himself. But he couldn't. And this added another reason as to why he hated this Grand Prix so much.
Try something else, he told himself. Disconnect. Max turned on the radio flipping through the channels every two seconds when his ear caught something. His stomach was flipped upside down and he was pretty sure he felt like his lungs would explode.
"You broke up with Y/N L/N recently." "Yeah, I have." "But she was such a nice girl." "She is. She really is. She wasn't clingy or needy. Like the perfect amount." "And beautiful as well." "Very beautiful, if you get what i mean." The men on the podcast laughed. Max felt him self frown. How dare they talk about you like this was some sort of goldy locks story.
"Yeah, She's perfect and all. But she's really hung up on her ex. You didn't even have to ask her, you could just look at her and tell that she wanted something else. I'm not going to say names, but the guy really fucked her up."
fucked her up? Max felt his heart skip a beat, or even more likely, it stopped beating at all. He turned the radio off quickly, gripping the steering wheel till his knuckles bled white. Of course he had fucked you up, no wonder things went the way they did. They shouldn't have went that way. He should've never gotten his rival team's boss' daughter to fall for him.
No! What was Max thinking? The months he spent with you were the best things that have ever happened to him. It wasn't his fault. How would he know the Mercedes and Red Bull relationship would grow so bitter. How would he knew you'd be caught in the cross fire. He spends one winter break with you and then it all rips to shreds.
Was that why you changed your Last name? So he wouldn't find you? Must've been since it did work in your favour.
Y/N L/N.
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Y/N L/N, Max thought as he typed the name into google. Your face was the first thing to pop up and Max had to hold down a gulp.
You definitely grew up. The playful and bubbly aura to the girl had almost completely dissipated, leaving a quiet and mature woman who looked very serious and uninterested, with a defiantly much more womanly body, enough to get you on the cover of vogue.
"You okay, mate?" Max looked up seeing Checo. They were gonna do the opening ceremony at any moment and the world champion did not look like he was in his head. Max quickly swiped off the tab and shrugged. "Nothing, just some drama." The blond waved it off, tucking the phone in his pocket.
The teams were being announced, starting with HAAS all the way up in the constructor ranking. "I never took you for a person to be interested in drama and stuff." Well, Checo was correct: Max wasn't into that kind of thing. He just happened to stalk his ex by accident since he couldn't get the thought of her out of his head.
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"You lied to me." You huffed, stuffing your hands in your pockets, refusing to take a step further. "I didn't lie to you, technically. I just didn't tell you." Your friend shrugged, hooking her arm with yours and forcefully pulling you along while you tried to resist. "I don't want to be here, you tricked me." "I did."
It was certainly a sight. Lady gaga dragging Y/N L/N at the paddock of the Las Vegas GP. "The cars dont bite, N/N." "Yeah! That's because I'll be the one biting you!" The woman quickly let go of you at the threat. You went to walk out only to find people looking at you with exited and confused eyes. The exit was now too far.
With a dissatisfied sigh, you held out your hand and Lady Gaga took it, continuing to pull you along. "Today's just the race. So we'll watch. We'll wave the flag and then we'll leave." "I'm not waving the flag." "I'll do it."
You folded your arms, watching from the bottom of the grid on the side as the drivers arrived on the grid. The cars were lined up with car #16 and #1 on the top row, thankfully far away from you. Thankfully, the Mercedes were also far enough as well. You definitely wouldn't stand out in some non-flashy hoodie and shorts. You would've dressed better if you knew you were going to end up being forced into this.
People didn't really notice you at all, more concentrated on the drivers and celebrities. But they soon did notice you, a celebrity being pointed at by a driver. 'No way' Danny ric mouthed, face bright with surprise, a wide smile and arched eyebrows. He waved you over, and waved even harder when you shook your head in decline. You didn't want to appear rude. So you stood to his side, side hugging him as he rambled on about how much you missed. And you listened. You couldn't hate danny. he was like a big brother since f1 was practically your life.
"You should've told me you were coming, ya know." "I didn't even know I was coming." You chuckled, looking around.
FUCK! you looked away quickly, cutting the eye contact with Max short. Bad idea. Very bad idea. You thought, heart hammering in your chest.
"He still loves you." "Huh?" You looked up at Daniel confused. "Max." "no no." you shook your head. "He does." "he doesn't." "He was searching you up." You paused. "I saw it, your name on google." "That's called stalking—" "But he still thinks of you." "good point . . ." "You should think about it, considering how things ended. I think you should at least be on the same page." ". . . thank you danny."
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"Oh shit." You looked at gaga confused. "Hold this for a second, something's in my eye." She handed you the chequered flag, more like shoved it into your chest while she went to fix her eyelash.
"A little faster." Your hurried, hearing the cars come around turn 17. But gaga took a step back continuing to try and fix her issue. With a huff, you stepped forward, leaning your body on the railing, waving the flag just in time for Max who crossed first.
When all the cars finished the last lap you finally took a step back, flexing your wrist tiredly from doing all these Xs. You turned to see Gaga smiling at you, her eyelashes long forgotten because there wasn't an issue all along.
"You suck." You grumbled, and she laughed taking the flag from you. And just like that, finally you were able to get out of there. The crowds were too busy watching the podium ceremony to see you exit and leave through the parking lot.
You plopped in your car, turning on the engine. You couldn't bring yourself to drive out though. The excuse would be that the engine was still not warm enough. But really, you didn't want to leave behind those blue eyes again. they deserve an explanation for what they read that night two and a half years ago. But it's not like max would know you're waiting for him, or find you if that's the case. How would he know you're waiting for him in your car?
Well however he knew, he knew. The passenger door was opened and the Dutch man sat in the seat next you. You didn't even realize he had been looking for you throughout the whole parking lot, hoping to see you again. You've been looking down at your hands for goodness knows how long. You only looked up one you heard him cup his hands together and blow into them.
You cleared your throat, turning the seat warmer on for him. He must've gotten used to the warm Monaco weather for a cold city like this. The two of you sat in silence for a couple minutes. You didn't dare to look back at him, because you knew he was looking at you. And if you looked at him, who knows what would happen next because for sure you're still fucking dying to kiss him.
"Max, I'm sorry." / "Y/N, I'm sorry."
The two of you froze, looking at each other. "You go first." Max nodded.
You took in a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts. "I didn't mean to end things that way." and i didn't want it to end, you wanted to add but opted to leave that out. "Torger barged in my room and told me to end it right then and there. I didn't really have a say in anything." You sighed deeply, scratching the back of your neck. A moment of silence dawned in the car until Max spoke again.
"That explains the spelling mistakes." he chuckled lightly, opening his phone and scrolling through until he found your message chat. You could see the 'ts pver' and 'domt tezt or tqlj to me wver afqin' messages at the bottom. an un received message holding the words 'wait what?' 'baby whats going on' you never saw these messages, you'd blocked him by then.
"We should've talked." You admitted. "In person- discussed things. This wasn't fair to you . . . I really am sorry. I should've never let someone take control of me like that. I ended up hurting you."
". . . I always thought you hated me." You sprung up eyes wide as you turned to him. "No no. Never." You shook your head. You weren't even over him. "I don't hate you, I never did, Max. You're too amazing and important to me for that." You didn't even realize the words coming out of your mouth.
The words that led the blond to cup the back of your neck and pull you into a kiss. A kiss he'd been waiting almost 3 years for.
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yonpote · 4 months
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Honestly so relieved with the charity they picked. As an adult I spent a lot of time trying to not seek out validation for my political/social opinions from celebrities but I am so glad they're doing this. I don't mind him being apolitical online but it's nice to see he's doing this because it's important
yeah i think phil has always been good about this even tho sure hes not as vocal about his politics as dan can be. i was talking to some friends and i misremembered phil posting a black square on ig during the BLM protests for george floyd (which if u dont remember was just the absolute laziest form of performative activism) but they quickly corrected me that he actually posted a graphic that said Black lives matter and had a handful of resources in support of the movement and didnt tag it was blacksquare or anything like that and imo very clearly wasnt doing that for clout
i'll be real i was growing a little frustrated hearing about people who were really begging them to speak up about this, and i can understand feeling disappointed when your favs dont speak up about something important but ultimately sometimes thats a thing you just have to let go. and like this point is moot now because they are speaking up and supporting the pcrf and everything! i remember when people hounded dan for tweeting about a ceasefire? as in pro-palestine ppl getting angry with the way he worded his tweet? and like. idk i get it sometimes dan doesnt perfectly phrase things but like WE KNOW he has his heart in the right place so like what's the point in getting upset about the particulars of his choice of words.in general internet culture is so much about semantics and wording things rather than about actions and intent and impact on the world.
and its also very much a parasocial thing to where like, i think for ME bc ive figured out a healthier way to interact with my favs. i know how to separate them from me as a person so like, dnp's actions and statements don't say anything about me as a person or any of their fans. and i mean that's been proven with like, on twitter theres like all these fanartists doing incentives for ppl to donate for fanart and thats like so cool and like didnt need to be sanctioned by dnp or anything it was just something a bunch of people decided together ykwim?
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bunnihearted · 4 months
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📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2
#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore#we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life#i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible#if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green#and later this year i think i might change my name#it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random#i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel#really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am#to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate#but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it#but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so#when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy#i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that#also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk.....#rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els#sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w#not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else#but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway#that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but#all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever#i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right?#i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not#im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help#it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning#nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my#feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions#i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Was reading thru ur answered asks again (also hey lol i CAME BACK--) and like. Oh my god. It gave me The Most Idea.
So you get isekaied to Teyvat right? They hear your og language, they revere every single worf from your mouth, yadda yadda yadda. But like. How does SLANG AND THE OTHER ASPECTS OF UR OG LANGUAGE translate. I am having VERY heavy flashbacks to Pokemons "jelly filled donuts".
So like-- for example: (this is the first one that came to my head dont judge me i am tumblr trash) (lets also assume that traveler has perfect understanding of ur language and slang and all the nuances of it)
Lets say you and the traveler were hanging out with some of the Vision holders, and the traveler had some shenanigans and pranks or something planned. After they pull their shit, you say "i hate you so much (affectionate)". Which kind of throws the Vessels in for a loop because like-- their god literally just said they HATED someone. And hate is a PRETTY STRONG WORD. So they should DEFINITELY strike them down for catching their gods ire but-- AFFECTIONATE????? how does one hate someone affectionately???????? Does this mean their god hates the traveler but decided to recind their hate last second? Is it some form of Divine and Holy emotion that cannot be described by the mere words of their language????
Meanwhile youre just there vibin and having a blast with the traveler while you casually give them a philosophical crisis AHAHAHA
Another example is shortened words-- because i know teyvat doesnt have shit like "ily" or "omg" or "lmao" or "fyi" or "brb". Because honestly, without the cultural knowledge and background of the internet, these sets of letters are just fucking GIBBERISH.
And i know that like-- i know enough internet slang abbreviations that i can literally just talk in jumbles of letters, so how in the WORLD would the vessels interpret that? Because its very clear that their god is just using the letters of their language, HELL they might even use Teyvatian letters so what in the world are they saying????
So theyd just hear a convo between the traveler and reader thats like:
Reader: traveler, i gtg asap; tldr i forgot some stuff back in the cr brb
Traveler: wait fr?
Reader: yeah fr
Traveler: lol f
Reader: (sighs) ffs man-- anyways brb for real
Traveler: cya
And the vessels are just watching the exchange like "huh?? What????? What just happened here??????" And theyre just wondering if they used teyvatian to talk in the "divine language of the gods" but nah-- yall are just dickin around AHAHA
Hey, so it came to my attention some of this was AAVE, and while i am southern so things like "ya'll" got included w/o me thinking - thats not an excuse for me to use this as a white person.
so if you wouldnt mind letting me please know if i do this as we talk abt language more and more - i do not want to repeat shit like this again.
I'm genuinely sorry to any black readers out there.
I've personally seen and cringed with you when I see imagines/reader things that assume a white person as default,
All I can do in ur eyes is promise that I am actively putting a stop to my ignorance of things like AAVE, and ask for forgiveness (which you arent obligated to give, never feel that way).
So with that in mind, read the ask below with caution, although it has since been edited.
____
ITS YOU!! >:D
A treat for ur ask my liege 🤲🍪✨️
I think u were literally the first asker after my first SAGAU/Isekai language brainrot post!! Omg u came back with a banger LMAO
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What in the public menace is this...
(Gif is traveler and u pranking bitches)
Traveler knowing our world + language + SLANG?? INTERNET?? is SUCH A CONCEPT
So much room for inside jokes
I absolutely love the first one u said about phrases these days/gen z ig? slang
Its like so dramatic now that i think about it
Hate / love / dead / die / just straight up threats towards ur friends as affection or if theyre annoying u 😭
So many explicitives that make it hit harder too "go fucking die, my love <3"
^^^Or yeah like contradictions lol
I think it was @nexylaza (srry abt the tag!) who replied to one of my earlier asks about blunt language how that might sound like to Teyvatians like ur emotions sound more extreme than what u actually feeling (which makes sense ur literally using hate = mildly dislike LMAO)
Same situation here like what u said ^^^
(Ok i did lovely Aether awhile back so we'll go w/ Lumine this time! <3 u Aether!!)
.
*idk at an event/party for your arrival or something, and ya hungry fucks r hoarding the buffet table lol 🍻
.
You: "Shut the fuck up Lumine-"
Lumine: "Why r u pouring ur drink like ur in a earthquake lmao? Shaky hands lol"
.
*The immediate area of people around you go dead silent
*Lumine laughs
💀💀!!
.
Lumine: "Your gonna miss our cups LMAO"
You: "Bitch!" (u grinnin too lol)
.
*the whole rooms now quiet 😭
.
Lumine: "Don't spill- 🤣"
You: "I fucking hate you u whore <3"
(And u give the most genuine like abt to laugh smile🥰 )
.
*...a confused and kinda scared tension fills the room lol
*So poor Noelle, is like, oh. my. god. Creator is that upset with Lumine?? I must try to see what happened, how I can help! I dont remember Lumine doing anything bad to them! Shes wonderful y u do this to her 🥲
.
Noelle: "Uh, um, e-excuse me? Is every-everything al-alright, Y-y-your Majesty?"
You: "Huh? Yeah why??"
Noelle: "...w-well..."
UR FACE LIKE "😗?" LMFAO
.
*The room is staring at Lumine, in a mix of like shock, fear, and a little admiration for taking ur hate?? mood swing??? so well,,
theyre just waiting on Noelle to get an answer from you as to why you hate someone u seemed to care so much about, esp since they were ur first vessel 💀
look what you did their poor hearts u gonna give them a heart attack soon
.
Noelle: "A-a-a-a-are y-y-you s-sure??"
SHE IS SWEATIN
You: "🤨🤨??"
.
*Lumine finally notices why theyre all quiet and kinda concerned looking, bc u sure as hell wouldnt 😭 (i mean it is normal speech for u)
.
And Lumine's like: "No Noelle we're all good! It's just how Your Grace's home world, er, speaks for slang? Its overexagerated purposely dont worry love"
...
...
*Im sure they dont all believe her (or even you if u tell them 😭) and are just like,, REALLY NERVOUS CHUCKLING WHILE LIKE SWEATING-
And it takes a good like 10 minutes for the conversations to start getting back to their volume again, and they all still are looking over their shoulder checking on you guys 😰
.
(U did pour drinks w/o spillin tho🍻)
THE TEXTING SLANNGGG
Ok, but u and Lumine would fucking write letters to people, and being the little shits pranksters u are,
(Bc u kno Teyvat dont got nothing else bc we're in the medival ages, besides having cameras- 🙄 )
And u guys r constantly-
"oh yes yes, that sounds all well and good Keqing, please inform the Qixing that I'll be there ASAP"
AND THEN-
"oh haha, silly me, i forgot that only Lumine/you get that stuff, sorryyyy 😋!!!"
SOME PUBLIC MENACES LMFAO PLEASE
.
And it just spreads to ALLLL the official documents u write or literally any letters sent to anybody-
And everyone else is feeling like the friend that got sacrificed to walk in the grass instead of the sidewalk 💀💀
While also being like "??¿?¿??? 🥲🥲😀😀???"
Is this ancient code?? Why does Lumine get to know it??
Why dont the like??? really old deities understand it??!!
But then nerds like Tighnari, Albedo, Alhaitham, Zhongli, Sucrose, Ayaka, Kokomi, Xingqiu, Childe, Yanfei, Shenhe, Kazhua, Sara, Ayato, Heizou, Cyno, Kaeya
Try to "solve" the letters or slang, poor things and not a single one of them gets it (y did u do this to them lmao)
(God i finally looked at a character list so i wouldnt leave anyone out, but theres so many of these fucks by now help)
^^^But all these ppl try to solve it in different ways/for different reasons that im too lazy to type out individually, u can see it right??
Some see this as an ancient scholarly code thing, some of them think of it like a rlly hard puzzle, and some just rlly want to put the mental effort into knowing/not being left out 😭😭
.
And if anybody happens to see some letter exchanges w/ Lumine or like any written responses, you do not. stop. using. text slang. back to back.
(Like what u put in the ask💀)
And its so miserable for those characters mentioned especially, bc they look like scrambled letters 😭
.
Honestly them seeing u two talk to each other via letters just proves that the letters even mean anything at all to them, bc how did u understand each other, otherwise???!!
.
(No one would ever realize u guys were fucking around unless u told them 💀)
✨️Sorry✨️this✨️isnt✨️that✨️great✨️i✨️just✨️wanted✨️ to✨️ expand✨️ on✨️ what ✨️u ✨️already ✨️had ✨️nothing ✨️new✨️ 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️
I felt feral and out of it when i wrote this, i literally dont remember a single word i typed on that bullet list..
SO i still have asks/requests im gonna answer but i will be posting my follower event poll!! CLICK ME :) ♡
Yall get to choose what i write about for some posts :D
(You can be a new follower!)
✨️
BTW
UR SO BIG BRAIN SMART 2ND RANDOM U EVEN THOUGHT ABT TEYVATIAN LETTERS GETTING INCLUDED ADHJSLALASLL
WHAT A GENIUS
I hope my shit writing was somewhat ok of a reply to read to pay u back for that great idea lol
Cheers,
🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
♡the beloveds
@karmawonders
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chososbabymama · 11 months
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𝒫𝓁𝓊𝑔!𝐵𝒻𝒮𝓊𝑔𝓊𝓇𝓊♧~~~~
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personal headcannons bc plug suguru puts me in H E A T ! ! ! :)
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PlugBf!Suguru who gives you free flower. Has the BIGGEST pout on his face when he finds out you bought from other people before y'all got together. 'It doesn't matter if I met you 7 months later y/n, it's the principality of it!'
PlugBf!Suguru who buys you anything you need. You want a new bong? He buys you a pretty heart shaped piece w/ a bowl crafted into the shape of a rose. You needed a grinder cuz yours squeaked? He bought you an electrical one. You burnt a nail tryna light the blunt? He cashapps you $250 to get a refill.
PlugBf!Suguru who plugged you for the first time after you got his # from Shoko, there was something about you that made him so fuckin nervous that he accidentally gave you 3gs more than you asked for (you only wanted an 8th).
PlugBf!Suguru who is your self-proclaimed #1 fan. Reposts all your IG photos, shares your TikToks, he even got one of those lighter clips that attach to his pants and keeps a light w/ your face on it w/ him 25/8.
PlugBf!Suguru who pearls the blunt in a way that makes your stomach tight and your thighs clench.
PlugBf!Suguru who shuts down anyone who tries to flirt w/ him during a deal, 'no i dont wanna smoke a blunt with you, get out my car before i call my wife and have her show you whats good' Satoru lets out the ugliest laugh EVERY time.
PlugBf!Suguru who taught you everything you need to know; how to roll, how to scale, how to tell if the flower is synthetic, etc.
PlugBf!Suguru who has to go out of town sometimes to make drops so he leaves you with enough money and flower to keep you comfortable. If you needed anymore he'd send you however much you needed and make toji bring you a bag. If you buy from someone else while he's gone he'll catch such an attitude (big baby will still roll your blunts but he'll FS talk shit while he do it 'you wanna buy from other people? that's cool... why don't you break off my fingers and tell me to go fUCK myself while you're at it huh?')
PlugBf!Suguru who buys you the prettiest gold anklet with an 'S' to match his gold chain that has your initial on it. He got it for you when he first got in the game, saying it was 'only the beginning.' Since then Suguru has spoiled you in ways you'd never dreamed of, but that anklet? That anklet meant more to you than anything else.
PlugBf!Suguru who has sooooo many tattoos dedicated to you. He gets them on special occasions (anniversary, birthdays, holidays, etc. any reason he can find he'll do it). He has your anniversary on his ring finger, your lipstick on his lower back, scratch marks on one side of his back, and a bouquet of your favorite flowers right above his heart. With each one he shows you, you fall deeper in love.
PlugBf!Suguru who also makes a lot w/ his tattoo shop. People travel from across the country to get tatted by him. He's not just your only plug but your only tattoo artist as well. He'd had an extensive portfolio with a plethora of darkskin clients who had a hard time finding artists like you had. Suguru doesn't even consider people like that artists and refuses to work with people who can't tattoo dark skin. When asked why his response is always the same, 'why would I want to work with talentless losers who's terrible character is reflected in their subpar work? I could spend my time doing better shit like... smokin a blunt.'
PlugBf!Suguru who drops the blunt in shock when he learns you're Kento's cousin. Bloodshot eyes widen in shock when he's lookin at old family photos you brought out, completely ignoring the ember burning a hole into the rugs you JUST bought. ('whaT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RELEVANT? I had a thing for you for fuckin WEEKS before I asked you out and that bastard knew-!')
PlugBf!Suguru who knew from the moment he met you, that you were someone to be loved, cherished, and desired. And he would stop at nothing to prove how dedicated he is to making you feel as special as he knows you are.
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snekdood · 7 months
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individuals will be like "guys who say they're just too horny not to rape people are horrible" and then fetishize vampires 😒
#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE#DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT LIKE FEELING UNSAFE#personally- BOTH are horrible scenarios#am i really the only one who got serious rapist vibes from edward. really?#'hnnng im resisting the urge not to ra- i mean drink your blood. but im gonna stand in the corner of your room and watch you sleep#every might. also i'll eventually ra- drain your blood' like?????????????????????????????????#this isnt cute to me!!!! how do you fetishize this!!!! it doesnt make any fuckin sense to me im sorry!!#ig the only way it can be 'okay' is when the vampire tells you directly what they want to do and you consent to it. ig thats what happens w#edward or whatever. idk. but before they get to that he feels rapey to me dawg im sorry#also thats just not sustainable#not enough ppl are gonna wanna let you do that. esp depending on how much blood a given vampire in whatever story needs#if in whatever story its a quarter of blood? maybe. if its like. a whole person? yeah good luck bud finding willing participants lmao#bc with a quarter you might be able to get 2 people to be willing. and usually in vampire stories theres this whole 'inability to stop'#theme because it just 'feels so good' 😒 (like man thats just rape im sorry shdjbhjbvfhjvg) but if you need a whole person's worth#or more- good fuckin luck finding enough willing ppl to make up for it#the amount of vampires vs the amount of willing participants- yes even if every person who wants to fuck a vampire on tumblr said yes-#is still gonna be disproportionate for sure#unless theres like. 5 vampires and all they need is a quart of blood. but that sounds stupid and unlikely#and THIS goes back to my 'vampire stories where theres vampires that dont attack humans or rely on them minimally are boring#and they might as well just be regular hemi parasites at that point instead of calling them vampires'#bc ig to me vampire stories SHOULD be horror stories. otherwise why have them in there. just seems boring
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nsb-rkive · 1 year
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— マキマ (🍰) Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
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— north star boys as love tropes
pairing(s): bf!oliver moy x gn!reader
warning(s): none ig?? lemme know if there are some tho
“Ooh, love, ooh, loverboy What're you doin' tonight, hey, boy? Write my letter Feel much better And use my fancy patter on the telephone. When I'm not with you think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights) I miss you. When I'm not with you Think of me always. Love you, love you” — Queen
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★. ## offers his coat
So I do see Oliver offering you his coat when you are cold:( I mean, he is a teddy bear who loves you soooooo much, OFC he wants to take care of you even tho sometimes he’s more like a mom. “Babe bring your coat” “You’ll feel cold” now look at you freezing because you didn’t listen to him🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏽‍♀️but dont worry he’d give you his:((
★. ## gives you flowers
Flowers, one of the most classic and romantic gift since forever. On you first date, he gave you a bouquet of your favorite flowers with a note saying “To my dear y/n” IM MELTING. He’d also pick some random flowers for you:(
★. ## writes you love letter
Sometimes he would write you love letters because he loves you so much and doesn’t want you to forget it:(( The letters would start with “My dear y/n” or “My lovely y/n” and end with something like “You are my best friend and soul mate and I will love you until the end of our lives.” When he doesn’t have time for it, he simply writes an “I love you” on a sticky note and leaves it on your nightstand or desk🥹 Never forgets to tell you that he loves you and how much you mean to him too IM GONNA SOB.
★. ## holds door for you
He ALWAYS holds the door for you, no matter what. Holds his car’s door for you, holds the restaurant’s door and lets you get in (or out) first, etc. You find it so old-fashioned yet so romantic and cute, and he knows that. Sometimes he also pushes back you chair so you can seat:((( please treat him well:(
★. ## quality time
Oliver is a quality time person. He absolutely LOVES spending time with you, no matter what y’all doing. You could be studying, cooking, sleeping, reading he doesn’t get bored as long as you’re with him.
★. ## sings you love songs
As we all know, Oliver loves singing and, well, he also loves you so why not sing you love songs? He’d sing acapella or while playing the guitar, he sounds heavenly anyways pft. Has a love songs playlist for you with all the songs that reminds him of his love:( Sings to help you sleep, while cuddling, or randomly. Give him lots of love to make him the happiest person in the world.
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a/n: hope you like it:))
taglist: @iamnotauro
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Text
Hi hello and howdy
Since I can't contain my thoughts here's all the "Mirage" logicistics. Basically they either swap or enhance ones personality, heres a few examples:
Mirage Lenore is way more looney and impulsive, with a practically nonexistant off switch having to be dragged off screaming before she sets anything on fire, her group mainly sticks with her for fear of their own lives and she and Annabel are ALLOWED TO BE GAY!!! HOORAY!!! They still have the pretend to hate each other thing but thats mainly due to Annabel's paranoia
Mirage Duke is a shit magician who constantly looses parts of his tricks, he's also like WAYYY too overdramatic, the kinda mf to fall over if you steal his chip,
"MY CHIP!!"
"Its... its just a crisp.."
"I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!"
"Oh my god..."
So yeah, pathetic cringefail looser LMFAO, but he is the kinda person to pull a "OMG MY BEST FRIEND! MOVE!" And shove whoever out of his way
Mirage Pluto is if you took a wet cat and made him a golden retriever. He's very hyperactive, social, easily distracted. Mf is like "wanna hear abt my hyperfixations?!" Talks and doesn't wait for an answer a neat thing i did with some characters Mirage's is i inverted stuff abt them like hair, emblems, all that. He still thinks M! Duke's magic is cool
Mirage Berenice is a feral little creature, constantly biting or nibbling on things (mainly Eulalies arm, or her own. I dont think chewlery exists in the victorian era). She's also the queen of being unhinged, in spectre form shes somewhat normal at least. For the most part she's in her own world
Mirage Eulalie is the mean autistic, less into creepy/old things n thinks their lame and/or weird. She's the one dragging Berenice around and keeping the gang from falling apart. Her and M! Morella really out here sharing the only group braincell, shes also blunt as fuck and wont hesitate to tell you you look bad. I wanted to lean more into the japanese part of her character so she just kinda- speaks more of it now (lol idk how else to explain it)
Mirage Morella, like M! Eulalie, is a mean autistic. She's less emotional, and more of "I dont give a damn just get me out of here.", sticks with whatever group she's feelin that day tbh. Won't tell you you look bad, will probably just call you a dumbass and leave
Mirage Annabel is kinda like regular Annabel but without the "Life is like chess" mentality. So more jumpy, kinda a walking talking mental breakdown waiting to happen. Excess paranoia and increase of hallucinations cus pookie and I decided we aren't giving her a break
Mirage Prospero is no longer fancy and polite, he is sopping wet germaphobic wet cat. He will go through great lengths to avoid disease, faints around blood and puke, screams at the sight of his own rats (or just rats/bugs in general), actively raising his and Annabel's blood pressure with how scardy he is.
Mirage Montresor is imo the funniest one cuz he's just a polite little gentleman, doin all the chivalry shit like opening doors, pushing chairs in and out, saying his pleases/thank yous/welcomes, he's even calling everyone "Sir" and "Ma'am". He's still an asshole, but you really gotta provoke him to see that
Tbh, I didn't think much abt Mirage Will since Will to me is kinda just there as Monty's lackey who gets kicked around. SO he's less of a pushover, more demanding, up and refuses what people tell him, bullies M! Monty, he tried bullying M! Ada and M! Morella but bro got his ass kicked. On top of it, he's unfortunately more sexist and stubborn. No more people pleasing ig 🤷‍♀️
Finally, Mirage Ada. What I wanted to do for her is have her be an absolute girlboss who is always serving 100% of the time. Everything she does is her choice and for her and her friends, and and and shes Aroace too, pretty chill when she has to reject someone just like:
"Hey i like u"
"Oh! I don't feel the same but we can still be friends?"
"Ok"
EPIC HIGH FIVE
She also beat M! Will up, good for her
So uh, yeah! Thats all i got. If you have questions, feel free to comment or ask in the askbox. :)
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townslore · 7 months
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if you're comfortable, i would love to know more about the akechi npd headcanon. i think it's a rlly interesting take on his character and i wanna learn more abt npd bc i have bpd and ig im interested in what people experience with the other cluster b personality disorders? i just kinda wanna know why you think he has it and also maybe some of the mental stuff he has to experience with it. doesn't have to be detailed or personal i dont wanna make u uncomfy! i just cant stop thinking abt this hc haha :)
im actually on a mental health break right now, but this ask intrigued me so im answering it anyway. first off thank you for staying kind throughout the whole thing :)
its kind of hard for me to really describe why i think a character has/is something, because things like personality disorders are still a wide spectrum and every person experiences things differently, and i dont wanna make it seem like theres a one-way to have npd, but im gonna try anyway!
there is a site which helped me immensely throughout my self-diagnosis, so if you want to read more about the topic than what im gonna say here, here u go:
lets start simple and the thing that makes it most obvious to me: the engine room dialogue.
people with npd can heavily rely on other people for their self-esteem, because narcissists usually have a very low one. thats why they take on many tasks ("i was extremely particular about my life, my grades, my public image—so someone would want me around!") and might overwork themselves for more praise and acknowledgement ("you wanted to be acknowledged, didn't you? to be loved?") because its what they need to not constantly crash. a crash is something that happens when you dont get enough supply—which can be words of affection, praise, acknowledgement, etc—and you internalize it, doubt yourself, feel disgusting and generally you get to a really low point. this is just speculation, but i can see goro having a ton of those, especially during the time the phantom thieves get popular and he becomes public enemy nr 1. thats also why i drew him thinking "i really need supply rn but i'd rather die than ask for attention" because vulnerability is also a big thing people with npd can struggle with. we dont want to be seen as weak—our narcissism is essentially a shield, so we're seen as tough, when in reality, our egos can be very fragile.
one thing that the engine room makes very clear and also other interactions goro has with akira, is that hes very envious of others who have had it better than him. especially someone like akira, who was thrown away by society just like he was, was able to move past it, found friends and is acknowledged by many people. goro is jealous of it all, and thats the thing; people with npd can feel like they're supposed to be special ( and to me, with goro explaining how he got his personas, and how he often calls others stupid, its clear that he does feel that way about himself to a certain degree ) and anyone who threatens that status, anyone who seems much more special than we are is seen as a legitimate threat. its an ugly feeling and it can make us hate even those we love for some time.
this attributes to dysregulation of our emotions too. people with npd often feel their emotions, especially negative ones, way more intense than they actually should be and have difficulty calming down due to that. negative emotions often linger for a long period of time and its hard to move on so we hold grudges. now this might come to no surprise to anyone that goro is a very angry and sad person. especially in the engine room its clear that even after the others extend their hands out to him, its difficult for him to comprehend and he still acts rather mean and calls them idiots for trying to "save" him. when someone with npd is experiencing a multitude of negative emotions, it may cause them to avoid other people or act aggressive towards them because they feel trapped. theres many explanations as to why goro is the way he is in the 3rd semester, and i dont think only one of them has to be correct, but i do think that with the knowledge of whats happening ( like: being under the control of someone else again, or having to work with people who are unpredictable and who have seen you at your lowest point ) makes him act out to keep all of them, especially akira, at bay.
in the duel against akira—im sorry i cant really quote it, i just have a general idea of it in my head rn—i read what he says in a way that makes it clear that he struggles with a superiority AND inferiority complex, which sounds stupid at first i know, but its fairly easy to explain. like i already said, a narcissist's self-esteem is usually pretty low and we rely on others to know how to feel about ourselves. theres two traits of npd that are necessary traits to have: being self-centered and feeling entitled to good treatment, and seeking admiration from others/liking to be the center of attention. so there is some kind of superiority complex going on, at least thats what i would call it in goro's ( and my ) case. we can feel on top of the world in one moment, but once we have a crash or experience intense negative emotions, its back to being the worst human being on earth. i dont think its ooc to say that goro hates himself, as some like to claim he only ever thinks hes better than everyone else. i think that just attributes to harmful stigma. with everything goro experiences in life, coping with narcissism to hide a fragile sense of being just makes sense to me.
theres more i could probably add here but this thing is long enough as is. please do keep in mind that many of my headcanons for goro are me projecting—but that doesnt mean theres no basis for it in canon as well, as i've tried to explain here. at first i actually thought he could have bpd, but i dont know enough about it to really judge that—so it could still very well be that, or both, i dont really know how it works! im rather new to this as well, and at first i was scared of doing any research because npd is so heavily stigmatized. i wish there were more people like you, anon.
if you have any more questions feel free to ask them :)
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haemosexuality · 8 months
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thoughts on the fionna and cake ending
-it was a bit boring. ok not Boring just, not on the same level as all the other eps? especially not on the same level as the previous two (the star+jerry). like it was more of a Cake the Cat ep. it was fine just not world shattering and thats fine ig
-that being said the casper&nova scenes were sooooo boring i couldnt care less. it kinda made me feel like they wanted to show shermy and beth but didnt know how so they just made up whatever??? it wouldve been cool to see more of future Ooo instead of. whatever that was. they couldve made the parallel to simon and betty some other way. or even if they absolutely Needed to show thay weird video game they couldve made it like one scene and shorter lol. tho the detail of it had being astrid that started the story was cute
-i actually liked the resolution to betty and simons relationship. again they couldve shown More of it instead of it just having like, one scene, but i liked how they did it. getting them back together in a fairytail Everything Works Out And Theyre Happy Ever After!!!! wouldve completely taken away from how tragic their entire story is, but making something even worse happen wouldve just made simon feel worse and his character development wouldnt.... exist much lol. having simon come to terms with it, SEND HIM TO THERAPY THANK FUCK and try to move on w his life is exactly what i was hoping for
and i looooove how they portrayed their relationship. ive seen ppl be mad ab it but like didnt yall like that is was codependent and insane and they were obsessed w each other to the point theyd destroy their life for one another? OBVIOUSLY its going to be unhealthy. thats not saying simon is a bad person, or that they didnt love each other. they obviously did. simon loved betty more than anything. but he was selfish. unintentionally, yeah, he didnt realize how dependent/obsessed she was with him and that she just went along with anything he did which i dont feel its his fault, but it still happened, and it still affected her, it made her get deeper into that. its a new spin on their relationship that feels really real and i really like that. yeah turns out that when ppl are so obsessed w someone that they go insane and almost destroy the world twice thats probably indicative thay theres something wrong there who wouldve thought!!!!
adventure time is The "people have flaws" show (bonnie, marcy, finn, jake, etc etc all the characters are shown to be selfish sometimes snd to varying degrees! and theyre all still good people! theyre still just people) so it feels a bit insane to see ppl acting like the show saying "simon too btw" means theyre portraying him as irredemably bad
-i didnt want the fionna world to completely change and go back to bein magic but i was at least hoping the characters world :( like a "modern with magic" situation it wouldve been cool. and the farm/baby/vampworld characters coming in felt a bit random but like eh sure whatever
-IM SO PISSED FIONNA DIDNT LOSE HER ARM
-i dont think the lack of resolution in all the universes we visited was a bad thing? like i dont even feel like its "lack or resolution" i just felt like. thats how the stories were meant to be told. we come into a world that has nothing to do with us and then we leave them behind, yk? its not our world so we just pass by and dont know how it ends. leave it up to imagination. i thought it was cool we dont need to know Everything
-we shouldve seen marcy and simon interacting when he got back. even if it was just like a interaction without dialogue in some sort of epilogue sequence theyre so incredibly important to each others story and the show even made sure to show us that and we get nothing????? the lack of a scene where he talks to her about how hes feeling and how he almost put on the crown again felt so!! FRUSTATING. the scene in ep two where he calls her even felt like it was setting up for a scene like that! im so mad we got nothing. like i understand the adventure time market is flooded with marceline so maybe they didnt want to focus on her much but still theyre too linked for that relationship to get completely ignored in the Last Fucking Episode of the show
-the implication of fern/phoebe made me pause the episode and stare at a wall for a moment. auaugh.
-SO NO MARSHALL SONG?? *THROWS LAPTOP AT A WALL*
-WHY DID THEY DO NOTHING WITH FIONNA AND CAKE GLITCHING STUFF????? WHY EVEN SET THAT UP IF IT GOES NOWHERE UGHH
-im glad they finally made the lich a bit more interesting instead of Ooh spooky guy is evil
-simon getting therapy from minervabot was awesome 10/10
-once again saying im mad they let fionna keep both her arms. BOOOOOOO 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎
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