#{ Poe Dameron has a stupid face says Rey }
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Drowning in the Light (4/?)
Chapter 4: Return
Series: Drowning in the Light
Summary: The reader finds herself face to face with the man who she once considered her best friend. Now on opposite sides of a war, where do her loyalties lie? And what role is she prepared to take in this fight?
Word count: 3.1k
A/N: Has it been 2 years (almost to the day) since I updated this fic? Yes. After an unexpected hiatus, I have returned with this beast of a chapter to remind you all how much I adore this story.
Pairing: (eventual) Poe Dameron x F!Reader
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) // (Part 5)
playlist for this series can be found here. you can also read this series on ao3.
The sound of ships approaching and of the sudden hail of blaster fire that shown down around you. But that wasn’t what pulled you out of your reverie-- no-- it was the sudden presence of someone who’d died along with the rest of the Jedi.
Him.
Ben was coming for the droid.
You needed to find them first. You sprinted off into the forest desperate to find Rey and the droid before he could.
You could hear the sound of blasters behind you as you raced through the forest surrounding Maz’s castle. But nothing was going to distract you from your mission.
As you whizzed past boulders and jumped over fallen trees you tried desperately to reach out to Rey, to use the force to try and find her. Unfortunately, your powers are not unlike a muscle, and after years of tamping down every impulse to connect to the force and your powers, it is now a struggle just to search for another being.
Luckily as you’re searching you manage to spot the familiar orange and white droid in your periphery.
“BB-8!” You thank Maker that you’d found the droid before it was too late, “Where’s Rey?” You ask it as you look around.
BB-8 frantically beeps and whirls at you and you can’t help but groan. She’s brave, but what a stupid plan. There was no way she could take Ben on with just a blaster.
“Get back to the others, don’t let anyone else see you.” You tell BB-8 quickly before taking off in the direction the droid had pointed you.
“No!” You shout as you run up on Rey and Ben.
“Ben-”
But before you can say, or do, anything you feel the pressure of the force pressing against your chest as you go flying into the air, until you feel your back make contact with a tree trunk as all the air is knocked out of your lungs and you fall to your hands and knees.
“Ben, please,” You choke out as you push yourself to your feet.
Your eyes flicker over to Rey’s form, still immobilized on Ben’s other side. You’d all seen the map, so even without the little BB droid, it wouldn’t take long to pull the memory of it out of the head of someone like Rey.
As you reached your hand out in determination to free Rey from Ben’s grasp you feel a stabbing pain in your head. You groan as your eyes flicker back to Ben, desperately wishing you still had a weapon on your person to properly fight back.
Before you can do anything to stop him a branch comes flying at you out of nowhere and slams into your stomach, sending you keeling over from its brute force as you collapse from the pain.
“You should have stayed dead,” Ben’s voice cuts through the vocoder of his helmet coldly as it tilts down at your form where you groan on the forest ground.
You watch helplessly as he returns to Rey, forces his way into her mind, and carries her lifeless body out of the woods.
You push yourself to your feet as quickly as you can manage and sprint back to the remains of Maz’s castle as fast as you can.
You were just making it to the edge of the trees when you saw the ship taking off. Both of them were on it. You were too late.
You’re desperate to find General Organa, but you don’t need to go far, she’s stepping off a transport ship and speaking to Han when you find him, Chewie, Finn, and BB-8 among the wreckage. You try to give the estranged couple some privacy before Han and Chewie come back to prep the ship.
“Go on, kid,” Han mutters as he jerks his head back towards the General.
“Leia,” You greeted the woman you once knew well. “They...they destroyed the entire Hosnian System.”
“I know, (Y/N), I am so sorry,” She tells you before pulling you into your own hug.
“There is this girl, Rey, she’s seen the map to Luke,” You struggle to explain, “He took her. Ben. He was here.”
“I see,” Leia replies as she nods, lips pursing as she processes what this will mean for the resistance.
“The droid has the map,” You add as you gesture behind you to the BB droid whirling around Finn.
“We’ll discuss it at the base,” Leia finally says as she gestures for her lieutenants to wrap things up and head back to their ships.
“I’m glad you’re alright,” She calls after you as you head back to the Millennium Falcon.
You turn around and give her a brief nod before you join the others on the ship.
None of you said much as Han and Chewie flew you all to the resistance base. Once you landed you were slow to get off the ship. You still weren’t prepared to be back. You’d left the resistance for a good reason. But you also couldn’t help but feel like there was a force pulling you back in. That wanted you here. To be a part of something that you couldn’t fully grasp yet.
When you joined the others they were already discussing plans.
It was obvious that this Starkiller Base was a bigger threat than anyone had been able to anticipate. And it needed to be neutralized if the resistance wanted to stand a chance against the First Order.
The fact that Rey’s memory held a copy of the map to Master Skywalker seemed like a nonissue, just like the fact that Ben was holding Rey captive on the base.
You could tell Finn was desperate to get to the base and rescue Rey. And you just needed to find a way to help him do that.
“You’ll need a ship like the Falcon to get onto the planet undetected,” You point out as the leaders argue amongst themselves. “And someone like Finn who knows the base to find the control room.”
“We’ll get Finn down to the base and help him disable the shields, your fleet takes out the oscillator and we’re all off the planet before that happens,” Han tells Leia and the group. “Hopefully,” He adds after a moment of consideration.
“Okay,” Leia replies and you shoot Finn a brief smile as you move to grab your things.
“Hey buddy,” You greet BB-8 as he beeps at you excitedly, whirling around your feet. “That's great! I’m glad he’s alive.”
“Commander Dameron, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” Leia introduces you, “She’s a family friend.”
You glance at her curiously before returning your focus to the pilot standing beside her.
“And (Y/N), this is Poe Dameron.”
“The BB droid is yours,” You say in lieu of a greeting.
“Yes, he is,” He replies with a smirk.
“He talks about you a lot,” You tell him as you cock your head to the side. “From his description, II thought you’d be taller.”
“(Y/N)!” Han shouted from across the hangar, pulling your focus.
“Duty calls,” You say to Leia and Poe. “It was nice to meet you, Paul Damon,” You add as an afterthought before you race off to help Chewie with the pre-flight checks.
It’s probably your own fault for thinking that turning off the shields would be the easy part of this mission. That any part of this mission would be easy.
After nearly dying in a fiery crash thanks to Han crash landing the Falcon near the base in an effort to fly under their radars you’d all nearly been caught. And then with Finn’s admission that he knows absolutely nothing about this base other than where the trash compactors and the mess hall are, you realize how wholly unprepared for this.
Luck seemed to be on your side long enough to capture Finn’s former Captain and forced her to disable the shields before throwing her into a garbage chute. Thank the Maker that Rey found her own escape and happened to find you all while you were sneaking around the base.
“Chewie and I’ll plant the explosives,” You tell Han as you all split up, You and Chewie are tasked with dotting the perimeter of the oscillator with charges.
“Ben!” Han shouts and your head shoots up from where you're crouched down, arming one of the explosives to see Han and Ben moving towards each other on the bottom level of the space.
“Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time,” Ben replies as he stalks toward his father.
“Take off that mask. You don't need it,” Han tells him.
“What do you think you'll see if I do?”
“The face of my son.”
“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him.”
“That's what Snoke wants you to believe, but it's not true. My son is alive.”
Your heart breaks as you hear the rare flood of emotion in Han’s voice. You knew that he struggled with Ben’s turn and the estrangement between himself and Leia. You never talked about it, and neither did he, but it was obvious enough in the way that you behaved with one another that you were both hiding your feelings underneath webs of apathy and sarcasm. You were so alike in that way that you don’t need to talk about it to understand what he felt.
“No. The Supreme Leader is wise.”
“Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true.”
“It's too late,” Ben replies
“No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.”
“I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?”
The sudden flood of emotion nearly bowls you over. It felt so like the old Ben. Like your best friend had returned to you as you watched the tears spring in his eyes. You could feel the truth in his words even from where you stood.
You honestly didn’t know what to think as you silently watched the father and son.
“Yes. Anything,” Han replies as he takes a hold of Ben.
You feel a sudden shift and are helpless to do anything but watch as you hear the buzz of Ben’s lightsaber activating and see the end of it poking through Han’s torso.
You can’t do anything but watch silently when Rey screams and Chewie roars as you watch Han’s body fall over the edge of the walkway. Leaving only Kylo Ren standing atop it. Staring up at where the rest of you were standing.
“Now,” You command Chewie in a voice just above a whisper as he detonates the explosives while you turn and run from the base, back to the ship.
Ben follows hot on Finn and Rey’s heels as you all race away from the base, out into the thick, snow-covered brush.
“Get the ship and come back for us,” You tell Chewie before he nods and rushes off in the other direction while you chase after the others.
You're shocked at how well Finn, even with a lack of proper training is able to hold Ben off. But it doesn't last for long.
“Finn!”
Your arm is flung out before you can second guess yourself, pulling the saber from where it lodged itself in the snow and pulling it towards you. It takes a moment longer to finally fly through the air and into your hand but when it does you immediately realize whose saber it is and why Ben wants it so desperately.
You’re holding Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber.
“That lightsaber. It belongs to me,” Ben hissed as he turned to you, his hand clutching the wound Finn managed to cause with a well-timed strike of the blade.
“Then come and get it,” You taunt as you ignite it and begin to circle one another slowly.
It’s been years since you’ve trained. Since you’ve fought. But fighting opposite of Ben is muscle memory. You know every single one of his moves, his defenses, his tells. But he also knows yours. And he’s had ten years of training under the Sith now.
Your first strike comes swiftly, but Ben matches it easily. You were always the one to make the first move. Too impatient.
But Ben’s counterstrike comes shortly after. Too impulsive. Too angry. You dodge out of the way with a graceful spin. Even in your clunky boots your moves become light and fluid with a lightsaber in your hand.
The two of you push and pull against each other effortlessly. It’s always been like a dance between the two of you, but where the moves were evenly matched when you were children, Ben’s brute force and anger have only grown and you quickly begin to struggle under his relentless pressing on your defense.
“Even now, all that rage and hate? It’s nothing compared to the power you could have had,” Ben taunts as you manage to block an attack just inches away from your face.
“You are a disappointment,” He spits at you in anger.
Your chest burns as you push out of the block and fight back, but Ben seems to have prepared for this and counters quickly before swiping into your blind spot and swiping down – hard – on your thigh.
You groan as you try not to scream out at the pain. Your knees buckle and Ben swiftly kicks you between the shoulder blades and you fall into the snow, using the spare second before your body collapses to send the lightsaber in your hands flying in the opposite direction.
The best you can do is to slow him down as much as possible.
You realize from your new vantage point face down in the snow that Ben’s own movements are stilted at best as the efforts of your trio’s barrage on him have clearly taken their toll.
You can see the pain in the way his face tenses as he reaches his uninjured arm up to pull the lightsaber into his grasp. You spare a glance around to see Finn still unmoving a ways away but find Rey stood up from where she had fallen, her own hand reaching for the saber as her brow furrows in concentration.
Your eyes widen as you see the lightsaber fly through the air, not to Ben, but into Rey’s hands.
“I’ll get Finn, run!” You shout to Rey as she takes off, Ben hot on her trail while you crawl to Finn’s side. You can see the large wound on his back through the now tattered scraps of his jacket and hurry to pull Finn’s unconscious body over your shoulder and drag him towards the ship as you see Chewie appear in the nearby clearing.
Once you had Finn back in the ship you re-emerged to see Rey had severed Ben’s lightsaber in two. As she moved to deal what looked to be a killing blow, a trench opened between the two, the ground opening up beneath them and pulling them away from one another.
You’ve never seen anything like it.
Chewie must have detonated the explosives at the perfect time.
“Rey!” You shout from the door to the Falcon, calling her back away from the edge of the still-forming cliff.
She races over to the ship and you pull her in before shouting for Chewie to take off.
When you return to the base it feels like the entire base is celebrating.
And they should be. They destroyed a weapon that can destroy entire planetary systems.
But the losses you’ve faced are taking their toll on you.
Rey takes Finn to the infirmary while you and Chewie seek out Leia.
When you see her you can tell she already knows. It’s the look in her eyes as Chewie pulls both of you into a tight hug.
It’s so unfair, the thought that they’d spent so much time apart, and just when they’d reconnected and there was a renewed sense of hope for the two of them, that he would be ripped away from her.
“R2-D2 reactivated,” Leia tells you once you’ve both shed a few tears, pulling you into the control room.
“The map,” You breathe out as you look at the completed route, with the piece of the map BB-8 had now spliced into R2’s.
“Good to see you again, buddy,” You murmur to R2 as you pat him on the processor, causing him to whirl at you happily.
“Who’s going to go?” One of the commanders asks.
“You and Rey should,” Leia offers as you turn to look at her.
“No, Rey needs to be the one to go, alone.” You protest with a sharp shake of your head. It doesn’t take a deep connection to the force for you to understand what the universe wants to set into motion. This is Rey’s path. Of that you’re certain.
“You should have seen her in that forest. She’s more powerful than anyone knows. If anyone can get through to Luke, it’s her,” You tell Leia and Rey with a small smile, “I gave it all up for a reason, Rey doesn’t just need anyone to train her, she needs a real master.”
It takes them some time to prepare, but Rey, Chewie, and R2 are packed and sent off not long after the map is revealed. There’s no time to waste now that the First Order is out for Resistance blood.
“Good luck, Rey,” You tell her as you pull her into a tight hug. “May the force be with you.”
“Take good care of her, Chewie,” You tell Chewie as he pulls you into a tight hug of his own, lifting you off your feet.
Chewie groans mournfully.
“I know, I know, but I think this is what he would have wanted. As much as he would have pretended like we were forcing him to do it, he would have been the first one to offer to go get him,” You say with a bitter laugh.
“You too, R2,” You tell the droid beeping at your feet. “And give Master Skywalker hell from me,” You add with a smirk.
Once they’re aboard and ready for take-off you join Leia in sending them off. Once the Falcon disappears into the atmosphere the General turns to you.
“I’ve got a job for you.”
#drowning in the light#drowning in the light series#star wars#star wars fanfiction#star wars imagine#star wars imagines#star wars series#star wars fanfic#star wars drabble#star wars reader insert#star wars x reader#poe dameron reader insert#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron fanfiction#poe dameron#poe x reader#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron x you#poe dameron x female reader#poe dameron fic
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What Came From Craigslist [2/?]
Pairing: Rey x Poe
Rating: T
Summary: It takes her five whole minutes before she texts Finn.
I did something stupid, she sends him.
Words: 1000
Notes: a gift for @mousedetective, who liked the six sentence fic I did.
Read @ AO3
Rey tosses the phone onto the bed side table, and lets herself fall into her mattress. Yes, this whole venture is not her best nor brightest idea, but desperation won this time.
She takes the phone, goes to her email and replies to Armitage’s RSVP with a yes. The moment she sends the email, a wave of relief washes over her. It is done. She will be seeing her ex’s face once more time, but she won’t be doing so alone. She only hoped that she and Poe Dameron had enough chemistry to make it believable.
It takes her five whole minutes before she texts Finn.
I did something stupid, she sends him.
Finn's text comes quickly, How high is the bail bond?
She snorts and answers, Not THAT stupid. Yet.
This time, it's not a text that makes her phone vibrate. Finn is actually calling her, she smiles, Finn truly is the best friend she could possibly ask for. “Hey, Finn.”
“Hey Peanut,” comes Finn's cheery tone. “Now, tell your big brother, what is this stupid thing and how do you want me to help you?”
She smiles, bless Finn’s big heart. “Oh, just Armitage sent me an invitation to his wedding and gave me a plus one.”
“That bastard, please don’t tell me that you’re going?” A beat. “Or do you want me to go with you and throw itching power on him right before the ceremony?”
“I am going,” she tells him. “And no, you’re not tossing itching powder on him, hilarious as that could be. Also, I already have a date for the wedding.”
Finn whistles, “Now, now, Peanut, have you been holding out on me? I had no idea you were dating at all!”
That is when she cringes, “Ah, that is where the stupid part comes.” She takes a breath, and Finn is quiet while he waits. “I hired someone from Craigslist.”
A bit of shocked silence. “You did WHAT?!”
She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Listen Finn, I had no choice. You know that Ben is the best man, and I just simply can’t show up alone. The mocking would be terrible, and don’t even get me started on the patronizing that Ben would do. But if I take you, or another of our friends, Ben will say something. So, I hired a date from Craigslist. We have plans to meet on Saturday at Dex’s Café at 2:30.”
This time, the silence is longer, but she can hear Finn breathing deeply, something that tells her that he is trying to calm himself down. “I really hate your cousin,” he finally says. “And the less we say about your ex, the better. Okay, Peanut, I get it. I don’t like it, but I trust you and I’m glad that you told me of your date so I can be aware of it.”
She smiles, “I will be sending you the link to his ad, and if possible, a photo when I meet him. And I will let you know when I arrive and when I leave.”
“Good, just promise me that you will be as safe as possible.”
“I will Finn, I promise.”
“That is all I ask, then. I might not like it, but, you’re right.”
***
The week seems to fly by, and when she least expects it, Saturday is here.
That day, she wakes unusually early. She takes a bath with smelling salts and lets herself soak, lets the hot water and the salt wash away the worry of meeting with Poe Dameron today. She only gets out of the bath when the water has gone cold.
She pampers herself next, and then spends an hour trying to decide what to wear. Sure, this is not a normal date, that doesn’t mean, she will show up looking like a mess. In the end, she picks a knee length dress, flats and a leather jacket. She puts her hair on a bun, and does her make-up as best she can to highlight her eyes.
Opts for a light breakfast to prevent her stomach from revolting out of nerves. Because there is no way of denying it, she’s nervous about this meeting.
When it’s time for her to leave for the café, she texts Finn, on my way.
Good luck, it comes back at lightening speed.
She takes one last look in the mirror, squares her shoulders, puts her sunglasses on, grabs her purse and walks out to her waiting car. She climbs in, greets the driver and that’s when her stomach begins to rumble. She closes her eyes trying to calm herself. Think of this as work, she tells herself. A work meeting and nothing more.
Her Uber drive is a quick one, the café is a small one. But central and close to a shopping mall, close to her favorite bookstore too. She walks in, orders an Italian soda, and sits down to wait.
She doesn’t wait too long, soon enough, a very handsome man walks in. She watches him look around, and she feels her mouth dry. He’s a bit taller than her, not by much, he has golden skin and curly hair that invites you into running your hands through it. He’s also wearing sunglasses, so she can’t see his eye color, but no matter what color it is, she is sure his eyes will be warm and friendly.
The man spots her, walks calmly to her, removes his glasses and asks, “Rey Skywalker?”
Now her mouth actually goes dry, his voice is smooth and so like velvet. If velvet was a noise, for sure. And she is right, his eyes are deep and brown and friendly. His smile is radiant and she feels drawn into his orbit. “Yes, I am she. Poe Dameron, I take?”
Poe offers his hand, “I am indeed! Lovely to meet you.”
She takes his hand and pretends she doesn’t notice the shiver that went down her spine, “Lovely to meet you too.”
#damerey#rey x poe#jedipilot#rey#poe dameron#star wars#star wars fic#au: modern#multipart: what came from craigslist
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Enough is Enough (Poe Dameron x Reader)
Rating: T (Teen and Up)
Type: Angst
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Female!Reader
Summary: Reader and Poe have been arguing for over a week and completely avoiding each other. This has come to the attention to the person that happens to be your third wheel most of the time - Finn. Along with BB8 and Rey they come up with a plan to get the two of you talking.
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Swearing
A/N: I’m back baby.
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It’s only 8am on a Monday and you already feel like murdering people.
Your fiancé to be exact.
As soon as your alarm had sounded across the room, you jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You brushed your teeth and hair, got dressed and walked out into the bedroom, striding across it and out the other door.
Poe was awake, facing the door, and he saw you walk out, eyes trailing after your back but a scowl firm on his face. He really had fucked up, and he knew it. But for fuck’s sake, you’re both adults, if you are going to give him the silent treatment like a child, he is not above doing the same to you.
So out he goes. He rises from the bed, tired hand running through his unruly curls at the same time as a yawn proceeding to complete his morning routine, before striding across the same path as you, grabbing his pilot jacket in the process.
The cantina was packed – it’s a Monday morning, of course it is. Pilots, mechanics and Resistance workers from all branches crammed along the trayline trying to get the freshest pieces of toast or the juiciest pieces of fruit before the others could get to them.
Poe doesn’t blame them. Most of these people were either on the brick of hunger and homelessness or being deprived of their needs by the Empire before they had been recruited the Resistance and the fact that they now had warm meals every day for which they paid with their own sweat, was something to be cherished.
The latter case resembled that of Finn who he spotted at one of the tables, and he made a b line to seat next to his friend. Upon getting closer he noticed that Finn was sitting in front of Rey who, in her turn was sitting next to…you.
That’s fine. This is fine. This is absolutely fine.
Before going to the table, Poe decides to take a detour and get some breakfast before sitting down. Because he was hungry. Not because this would buy him some time before inevitably sitting down in front of you and try to contain the immense annoyance you’ve been causing him for the past week.
After a few moments, Poe looks down at his tray and its fullness, food about to spill out – more food than he could ever possibly stomach. He closes his eyes and sighs before an Ewok is pushing him away from where he stood in front of the pastry baskets. Straightening himself back up, Poe finally walks up to the table, flashing a smile at Finn before setting his tray down next to him and sitting in front of you.
When he passes your side you can sense his cologne invade your nostrils and, somehow, that only makes you angrier.
“Morning, pilot.” Rey teases but her smile quickly retracts once she spots the scowl on both your faces, looking from Poe to you and to him again. Finn senses the heavy energy and eyes Rey who gives him a silent clueless shrug.
“So,” Finn asks “what plans does the Dameron couple have for today?”
It’s as if the guy read your minds.
“I don’t know of any couple that goes by that name.” You mumble into your spoon of oatmeal and Poe’s eyes zero in on you.
Panic flashes across Finn and Rey’s once they hear you. Did the two of you break up? Is the wedding off?
“People are individuals, you know, Finn.” You settle down your spoon and turn your face to him, elaborating with a tone that had a slight taint of menace in it “Even though a couple is in a relationship they remain individuals.” You point the tone in word individuals, eyes narrowing to the man in front of you. Rey and Finn exchange a look.
“The fact that people are individuals doesn’t mean they can’t share a part of the other’s identity.” He snakes into the rim of his cup of coffee, eyes never leaving yours.
“It does if that meant they had to give up a part of their own identity.” You snap back, voice low.
“I’m not sure I follow.” Rey wavers and looks between the two of you.
“Thing is, Rey.” You turn to her “and Finn… there is no Dameron couple. There is a Poe Dameron and Y/N Y/L/N couple. But I’m not even too sure of that now.”
Poe puts his mug of coffee down a little too abruptly as he leaned forward, elbows on the table.
“Are you really that entitled?”
“I’m the one who’s entitled? Have you heard yourself speak lately?” you mimic his movements, leaning forward on your own side of the table
“Why is it such a big deal for you?”
“Because it’s who I am!” you borderline-scream and get all of the cantina’s attention drawn to you, specifically those of the two people sitting next to you, looking in shock at your sudden outburst, which they’d never even gotten a glimpse of.
You and Poe hold each other’s gaze for a long while, focused on nothing but each other and the mix of rage and hurt rumbling inside of you. And when you can’t help your lips from trembling and your eyes to burn with tears, you swear you can see something break inside of him.
He himself swore he was about to break this stupid game the minute he saw your face. For the glimpse of a second, he felt like reaching his hand up to cup your face, or to hold your hand or to stroke your jawline in that way that calmed you down. But before he could act on his impulses, you stormed out of the cantina, leaving behind your cooling breakfast and a torn Poe.
“What did you do?” Rey asks horrified at what she just witness and somewhat ready to throw fists at the man who seemingly broke her friend’s heart.
“It’s not what I did it’s what I said.” He mumbles and stands up from his own seat and, just like you, leaving behind an untouched tray of food and a half cup of coffee while Finn and Rey follow him with their gaze.
It was nice of Rey to ask you to go out for drinks tonight. Not just that, but she didn’t ask questions – she didn’t throw you a pity what was that about? or are you okay? Because it obviously wasn’t. It wasn’t and you don’t think it would ever be again.
So here you were, walking into a low-light bar in Canto Bight in your favourite pair of dress and shoes with nothing in your mind but the drink you were eager to order and the friend you were looking forward to meeting – a luxury that, just a few months ago would not have been possible. When you’re fighting for your own survival, a night at the bar isn’t exactly your top priority, but that was in the past.
Straightening yourself up, you smooth your dress and walk over to the table with the number she had told you – number 15. Upon reaching it, you sat down facing the door and nudging away the waiter who comes by to ask if you’d like a drink. There was no way in the galaxy you were starting the drinking night alone. Maker knows how that would end.
It had just been a few minutes of fidgeting with the table towel when you look up to the bar’s entrance and your eyes meet the last person you wanted to see. Poe. And damn, if it weren’t for the current situation he would’ve knocked the wind right out of you.
He looked good. Shinny curls and a fresh face with his good leather jacket. He looked really good. And you hated him for that.
He didn’t quite spot you until he was halfway across the bar in the direction you were sitting in, eyes coming into focus on your figure as you quickly stood up and took a small step back. Standing to your full height, Poe swears he’d never seen you look so perfect, which made the energy between the two of you all the more painful.
“What are you doing here?” you ask, hugging your arms close to your body.
“I’m here to meet Finn.” He replies, hands nervously spasming by his side, a habit you’d come to know and love.
“On this table?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’m here to meet Rey.” You answer quietly, scoffing.
“It’s a two people table.” He says matter-of-factly.
“And they’re not here.”
“But we are.”
Realization struck the both of you and Poe runs a hand over his exasperated face as you throw your head back and close your eyes. He sighs deeply before bringing one hand up to his hip.
“Can we then at least talk?”
You scoff at him.
“No.” Is your simple one-word answer before you try and make your way to the door, which he blocks.
“Y/N –“
“No. Are you going to let me pass?” he doesn’t move.
“For fuck’s sake Y/N.”
You scowl and turn around striding to where you know to be an elevator – if you can’t get out, at least you can go up. At this point, being on a different floor was enough. You can hear him mumbling words behind you but you try to pay him no intention, beyond grateful that the elevator’s doors opened as soon as you clicked the button.
“Fuck you Dameron.”
Stepping in, your not quick enough to press the closing button before Poe is slithering between the almost-closed doors and stepping into the same space as you.
“Oh, now you’re okay with using my last name?”
“When addressing you? Yeah, totally.” You nudge him so you can reach the buttons and press R for rooftop. He does a double-take on you before running his fingers across all the floors. You look up at him incredulously. “Really mature.”
“Mature is talking. And we are going to talk.”
“There is nothing to talk about!”
“Will you talk to me?”
“I don’t want t---” you were about to scream when the elevator came to a halt and you stumbled into Poe’s arms, before standing right up, the lights above you flickering.
“Great! Just what we needed.” he throws his hands up in the air, and now you really thought you could slap him across his beautiful face.
“Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t pressed all the buttons like a kid!”
- Meanwhile, above the elevator -
“BB8.” Finn whisper yells from the open door, three floors above. “How long can you hold them?”
The poor droid, with his little tools stuck in the flashing wires, beeps in response.
“He said maybe 5 more minutes.” Rey translates, before flopping back on the floor and away from the open door and the empty elevator space. After a few moments in silence, she nudges Finn’s side.
“Don’t you think this is adding fuel to the fire?”
“They just need to talk. Plus they’ve been avoiding each other. We’re doing them a favour.”
- Back on the elevator –
Taking in a deep breath you lean back against one of the elevator’s golden mirror walls.
“Why did you get like that when I said I wanted to keep my name?”
“I… do you really hate the idea of being called a Dameron so much?” his voice is small as he stands in the middle of the floor, eyes searching yours.
“It’s not that! I just… I hate the idea that just because we’re getting married I need to give up being called by my last name. I never wanted that! It’s not because it’s you. I told myself that if I ever was to get married I’d never take another man’s name.” Tears are back at pooling at the corners of your eyes as you turn your head slightly to look into Poe’s sad face.
“Or maybe you just don’t want to be known as the ex-spice-runner’s-wife.” His statement is but a whisper as his voice gets caught in the back of his throat and you have never seen him this close to tears.
That’s what does it for you. That’s what makes you reach forward and grab his warm face in your hands, guiding him to look at you.
“Hey, hey… That is not true. Don’t you ever think that. I love you. I love you for who you were, who you are and who you’re yet to be… which I hope to be there to cherish.” The tears roll down both your cheeks as a breathy chuckle leaves you. “It’s not about your name. It’s about mine. And I… it really hurt me when you said those things. Acting as if me keeping my name was a sin or something.”
He averts your gaze, looking at the floor but you motion his face back to where it was.
“Hey. Here…” you guide one of his hands to where your heart beats “I’m already a Dameron. Have been for a long time. Just not on paper. And at the end of the day… what is more important?”
It’s his turn to cup your face and bring his forehead close to yours. “I’m so sorry. I was an idiot… thank you for…this.”
“No, thank you.”
His hands are the ones that pull your face up and wipe a stray tear from the corner of your eye, before stroking your cheekbones with a feather-light touch.
“You look beautiful-- ”
“I love you.”
It’s a short and exasperate sentence, but you’ve gone almost two weeks without saying it and Maker, how you missed the way it sounded and the way it felt rolling out of your lips. Poe could say the same, the deprivation of that sentence that he has suffered sending a bolt of warmth across his body as if this were your first date all those years ago.
For a moment your eyes cross, but before too long he is lunching forward and capturing your lips in his. The tears came again as he held onto the kiss as if that was the only thing keeping him alive.
You were reluctant to pull away from the sweet embrace, but you did. And you were met with the sweet smile you had missed.
“What do we say we go downstairs… I have a feeling there’s a table waiting just for us.” He jokes, running a quick hand over his watery eyes and you chuckle at the timely joke.
“Yeah, yeah… I’d like that.” You smile, grabbing his cheek and kissing it once again. And, as if on queue. The elevator starts working again, lights flickering for a few seconds, and the only button that was on was that of the Ground floor from which you were trying to get away from just a few minutes before.
Little did the two of you know that attached to the roof of the elevator was a happy BB8 as the compartment went down and, just a few floors above, two very content Resistance members, high-fiving.
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Unsaid
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Poe/Finn
Summary: They land on a planet that has a field that tickles anyone who comes near, and Poe is having one too many feelings about it.
A/N: My first fic back from hiatus! Honestly I’m only posting something because I wrote more than half of this while I was gone, but felt inspired to finish it today. I hope you like it, I’m very proud 🥺
Words: 2k
A breeze of heat ruffled Poe’s hair as he stood at the edge of the Field of Laughter on a planet that had too much of an orange tint for his liking. It reminded him of dry, unforgiving land full of sand and nothing but sand, but mostly it reminded him of the times he’d been stranded, so thirsty he could die, running for his life over the scorching ground. Just last week, that is. It reminded him of being near death, and of watching Finn and Rey getting dragged just out of his reach.
“It’s okay, you know,” Finn told him now, watching Poe as Poe watched the field. “If you want to try it, I mean.”
Poe chanced a glance at him, wondering what the orange tint made his blush look like. “I’m good.”
“Poe.” Finn had mastered the knowing smile he occasionally shot his way wonderfully. An amusement to it, but also something kind that made Poe all the more embarrassed whenever it was aimed at him. Vulnerability, even during the war, was always something that terrified him, even more than the war.
“Really, I’m okay,” he said, averting his gaze back toward the dancing blades of yellow grass. They’d been told the field was bigger than it seemed, twisting and turning behind the mountains and the trees Poe had been surprised to find here. They all looked dead, but were apparently perfectly fine.
“If you’re worried someone will see or hear you we could go further.”
“Why do you think I want to try it?”
“Oh, come on now.” Finn bumped their shoulders together. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
The Field of Laughter was said to be a very ticklish experience; so much so that the natives who lived by it had developed a thicker skin, quite literally so, in order to survive having to cross it. It had saved them valuable time, not having to walk around it, and it only got a couple of giggles out of the younger ones now.
Poe was absolutely certain he would never escape the dancing blades, whose only purpose in life was to tickle whomever walked over and through them. They were kept regularly short, cut with hovering blades and quick hands, as they could probably tickle someone to death if they were able to trap them. A field of torture for most, but something else to Poe.
“I promise to pull you out if it becomes too much,” Finn continued, but Poe could tell he wasn’t going to push it more. It was up to Poe to decide whether he was brave enough to be vulnerable in more than one way.
They’d landed there by accident. A mission gone wrong, but not so wrong it had really cost them anything. Just time, which they sometimes couldn’t afford and other times were swimming in. They’d been fortunate, for once, to be rich enough to give it away so easily to a planet that neither attacked them nor wanted to help them. Proud of their history, but wary of their grounds, meaning they told them everything but let them see little. Poe knew of the group that had settled not too far away from their makeshift camp, keeping an eye on them and making sure they didn’t stray past the point they’d been allowed to see. Poe wasn’t sure why they’d been forced to stay by the Field of Laughter of all places, but he’d been thoroughly on edge for the past two days because of it.
“Better be careful,” Jess had said, pointing to the field. “If you piss me off I might throw you in.”
Poe hadn’t replied, his ears still ringing with the story of the field they’d just been told. Lab-made. Torture device. Impossible to stop. It had made him want to peel his skin off to hear it.
“Poe.” Finn, his one and only confidant in this, hadn’t teased him like Poe had feared, but that knowing look had almost been worse. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”
One thing you should know about Poe Dameron: he had absolutely no idea how to handle any type of feeling that involved vulnerability, which included embarrassment and fear and love and lust. Unfortunately his feelings about tickling had traces of all, to a certain point. It was embarrassing to love something most people hated. It was terrifying to love something to the point of sensuality.
Finn had found out by accident, too. A drunken night, Poe too touch-starved and exhausted and in love with him to keep quiet, and while whatever they were was still unsaid and only shown in quiet fingertips to skin, Finn was all too eager to give him what he wanted after he’d let it slip. Poe refused to talk about it now, all of it unsaid and quiet, all theirs but barely.
Finn hadn’t mentioned the field as they’d started their walk, but Poe couldn’t look at him as they’d walked along the edge of it, maybe too close to it for comfort. One misstep and he could fall in, and then he’d have to face one too many truths at once.
Truth was, he almost wished someone would push him in. Just as an excuse.
“It almost doesn’t look like the blades are dancing,” was the first thing he’d said. “There’s no rhythm to it.”
“I’m sure they’re trying their best,” Finn had replied and Poe had laughed, nearly hysterically, as if giddy at the idea of having them dance over his skin.
“How does it even work?” he said now, two days later, the evening sun still bright and orange, but fading ever so slightly by the minute. “Like, do they go for your feet first or trip you or what?” He was only able to ask because it sounded so stupid to ask it.
“No idea.” Finn tilted his head at the field. “Does it work if you’re dressed and wearing shoes?”
“No idea.”
“Maybe we should ask someone. I’m sure they’d be willing to share.”
“We’d look too invested.”
Finn grabbed his wrist, squeezing once and calming him instantly. “We don’t have to.”
Poe went to bed untickled, tangled up in Finn’s embrace.
*
He only went because he’d dreamt of it and had learned to take dreams seriously years ago. In his dream it had been intoxicating, the sensation unbearable enough to have felt real, and so he went, wondering if he would leave or die there, laughing until it hurt him. That was the most fascinating part. Where did the line go between pleasure and pain when it came to something like this? How much could he take? Were Finn’s occasional prodding hands enough or was he capable of handling more?
In retrospect there was probably a safer way to figure this out, but Poe stopped by the edge of the field, feet bare and pants rolled up to his calves, with a relief he rarely ever felt regarding this. The early morning sun was more of a soft canary yellow than orange, and Poe felt he could breathe more easily.
“Hello,” he said, his voice a murmur as he bent to get closer to the grass. “Aren’t you causing a lot of commotion.”
He didn’t feel stupid to speak to it. Somehow he felt it was alive, just communicating differently than him. He’d walked as far as he’d been able to, but felt as if his laughter would still be heard if it caught him. Many years ago, when he’d had too much pride to admit to vulnerability, he’d been captured by a rope and remained hanging upside down for longer than was comfortable, squirming, struggling, but refusing to scream for help. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep quiet during this.
The blades did nothing to acknowledge his presence and Poe longed for a thick forest - preferably a dark green one - to hide him from view when he reached out a finger to hover above it. An idiot, they would call him if they saw him. An idiot that’s asking for it.
If only they knew how desperately he was really asking. How loud and persistent and starved his pleas were, in the midst of a war that gave him no privacy to be candid.
“Would you let go of me if I asked nicely?” The blades were just out of reach. He could imagine them suddenly reaching forward and gripping him by the wrist, pulling him in and under for the rest of his giggly eternity.
But of course, they merely kept dancing. He wiggled his index finger over them. “Are you ticklish yourselves?”
The silence around him was deafening. If he fell he would be heard by the whole universe.
If he didn’t fall he could pretend he had. Say he’d been sleepwalking, hence his lack of proper footwear, and had ended up in this ticklish awakening.
Finn would know, naturally, but Finn would never tell. Would only try to gently coax the answers out of him and Poe would blush and blush and blush until he would say something stupid that would have Finn either laughing or rolling his eyes. Finn would drop it only momentarily, for it was too big of a thing to do on your own for him to never bring up again.
Poe wasn’t surprised when Finn appeared a moment later, his steps quiet but not non-existent. “Hi.”
Poe sighed and straightened, turned to glance at him quickly to hide the already spreading flush. “Hi.”
“I knew I’d find you here.”
“Dead or alive?”
“Hmm, either. Happy it was the latter.” He stopped beside him, letting their shoulders brush as they gazed over the field. “Are you gonna do it?”
“Not sure. Honestly I might’ve stood here for hours if you hadn’t arrived.”
“I can hold your hand. Pull you back out.”
Poe looked at him. Finn, with his own worries and dark circles under his eyes from how little he actually slept and his ever present way of reaching out without expecting anything back. If he trusted anyone with this it was him.
“Okay.”
Finn met his gaze. “Okay?”
Poe held out his hand. “Okay.”
Finn took it.
*
In retrospect it was both an overwhelming and underwhelming experience. The idea of it, the actual act of stepping his bare foot onto the field, still made his heart race. But while it did tickle it wasn’t the hysteria he’d been imagining. To be fair, he only let it go as far as to his calf before he decided he’d had enough, but for someone as sensitive as him it should’ve been worse.
It did tickle, though. It tickled a lot.
“I think you’re just too used to the sensation,” Finn told him after they’d returned to their quarters.
Poe huffed in embarrassment. “Not like that.”
“Oh, come on. I’ve pinned you plenty of times.”
“Not like that,” Poe said, quieter.
“That sounds like a challenge.”
As he’d stepped onto the field, Finn’s hand tight over his, Poe had felt fear and excitement and shame and acceptance, all at once, as the blades started dancing over his skin. When he’d realized, after the blades had started tickling between his toes, that he wasn’t able to actually remove his foot from the grass, was when he’d started laughing and couldn’t stop.
“I’ve never heard you laugh like that, though,” Finn said now. “I’m actually offended. I’m definitely taking this as a challenge.”
“How did I laugh?” Poe asked, because yes okay sometimes embarrassment made him stupid.
“Desperately. More high pitched than usual.” Finn’s smirk was intoxicating and fucking terrifying. “Want to try to recreate it?”
“People will hear us,” Poe said, already laughing stupidly, nervously, too smitten for his own good.
“I have a perfectly good palm to muffle it.”
And so the rest of Poe got tickled, too.
#tickling#ticklish!poe#finnpoe#stormpilot#finnpoe fic#star wars#star wars fic#tickle fic#unsaid#mine#ana's fics
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Never Have I Ever
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader
Word count: 2k
Warnings: none besides Rose and Finn being conspiratorial little shits
Summary: You've always been too nervous to tell Poe how you feel. A night out after the end of the war may change that.
It feels surreal, to put it simply. It’s over. It’s finally over. For years, you’ve known nothing but chaos and panic and uncertainty. But now, you can leave all of it in the past. Palpatine’s gone. The war’s over.
Leaping from your x-wing, you spot Poe across the tarmac. He locks eyes with you, breaking into a huge, beaming grin. You sprint towards him, sporting an equally bright expression. He holds out his arms, and you leap into them. He spins around as you bury your face in his neck, laughing. He sets you down, placing his hands on your upper arms.
“We did it,” he breathes, and you nod in disbelief.
“We did it,” you repeat, still smiling. You’re about to compliment a particular barrel roll he’d pulled off earlier when Finn comes barreling over, wrapping him in a bear hug. You smile, walking away to grab some water and allow Poe some time with his friend.
He watches your retreating form with a faint smile, content with the universe for the first time in years. Finn looks at him with a knowing expression and nudges him with his elbow. Poe snaps his head around, cheeks flushed.
“You should tell her,” he says, and Poe’s eyes widen.
“No way,” he replies, carding a hand through his hair. “What if I fuck everything up?” Finn rolls his eyes.
“Poe, I love you, but you’re the most oblivious man I’ve ever met.” This earns him a shocked expression from the older man, and he laughs. “Trust me. Just tell her.” Poe opens his mouth to object, but loses what he was going to say as Rey walks up and wraps him and Finn in a hug.
You watch as the three embrace, smiling. You’re so proud of Poe your chest could burst. He’d handled that last battle with the grace and strategy you’ve seen in him time and time again. You hear footsteps headed your way and glance up, to find Rose standing next to you.
“Hey,” she says quietly, and you scooch to the left a bit to give her space to sit, patting the bench next to you. “It’s crazy, huh?”
“Yeah,” is all you can manage, but you can tell that she understands the magnitude of emotions contained in your reply. No words could encapsulate the feeling of joy and relief flowing through you.
“I heard Poe did some pretty amazing flying out there.”
You grin, nodding. “He really did. Per the usual, of course.” Smiling, she takes in the look of admiration on your face.
“You like him.” Not a question, just a statement. An observation. You look at her slowly and nod.
“I do,” you say, taking a sip of water from the canteen in your hand.
“He likes you, I think. From what Finn’s told me.” You splutter, choking on your drink.
“What?” you exclaim, face turning red as a tomato as you cough. She laughs loudly, and you shoot her a death glare. “If you’re pulling my leg I swear-”
“I’m not, I promise.”
Narrowing your eyes, you swallow another mouthful of water. “What exactly has Finn told you?”
“He’s caught Poe staring at you too many times to count, that damn idiot never shuts up about you, and once Rey saw him fiddling with his mom’s ring behind his back while talking to you,” she lists, ticking off the instances on her fingers.
“That doesn’t mean he likes me,” you point out, and Rose sighs. Ignoring her, you continue. “He could’ve just been spacing out, we’re friends, so he’s bound to talk about me, and he just has a thing about not being able to sit still. Those are just...normal Poe things.”
“What are?”
You whip your head around, to see him standing right behind you. Of course.
“Nothing,” you reply calmly, glowering at Rose as she tries to contain her laughter. “Just talking about that maneuver you did earlier. Very impressive.” He grins, clapping you on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” he laughs. “Anyways, we’re headed out to celebrate-” he gestures to Finn, Rey, and his squadron. “-would you guys wanna come?”
Rose nods excitedly, and you do the same. “Sounds awesome.”
The music in the bar pounds in your ears. Normally, you hate crowded, public settings like this - they stress you out. However, you decide to make a special exception for tonight. After all, you just saved the fucking galaxy.
Poe, expectedly, makes a beeline for the bar with Jess. They order several rounds of shots and bring the drinks back to the table the rest of you are sitting at. He slides into his spot next to you, his thigh brushing against yours.
“Ok,” he says loudly, so your group can hear him over the clamor of the establishment. “Never have I ever - pretty simple,” he adds when Rey shoots him a look of confusion. “We’ll go around the table. Someone will say something. If you’ve done what they say, you take a shot. Snap, you go first.”
“Ok, uh, never have I ever gone on a supply run hungover,” he replies, grinning. Poe groans, taking a shot. You gasp as Finn does, too.
“No!” you say, aghast.
“It was one time!” he shouts in defense of himself, and Rey chuckles.
“He threw up within the hour,” Rose says, and you snicker. Finn kicks the mechanic under the table.
“Alright, settle down,” Jess says, clearing her throat. She shoots a pointed glance at Karé. “Never have I ever flirted with a superior officer to get a different assignment.” The woman sighs, pouring liquor into her mouth. Blushing, you do the same. Poe gapes at you.
“You’re kidding me.”
“It wasn’t here,” you admit. “Navy stuff.” Snap laughs as he recalls the event you’re talking about. “I was about to get assigned janitorial duty for the seventh week in a row, so I insinuated some very...” you pause, grinning. “inappropriate things to my commander. He put me on guard duty on the bridge instead.”
A strange feeling flares in Poe’s chest as you and the others laugh about how flustered the officer had gotten, and his knuckles turn white as he clenches the table. You discreetly nudge his leg with your knee.
“You okay?” you ask quietly, and any jealousy he’s feeling melts away as he takes in the concern in your eyes.
“Yeah,” he nods. You smile.
“Cool.”
“Okay, okay,” Karé laughs, shooting a death glare at Jess. “Rose. Your turn.” She smiles conspiratorily at Finn, who nods at her, before glancing at you briefly. You send a befuddled look towards Rey, who simply shakes her head, shrugging.
You have a bad feeling about this.
“Never have I ever…” she trails off, scratching her chin animatedly. “Had a crush on a close friend.”
Your stomach drops. Rose giggles as she feels you tense up beside her.
“Fuck you,” you say, throwing back a shot. A barrage of gasps sounds from your friends. “Oh, grow up,” you laugh, and Finn chuckles. You glare at him, and he raises his hands in surrender. Slowly, Poe leans forward, grabs a shot, and knocks it back. You barely constrain your shock.
“Oh my gods WHO?” Karé squeals, clapping her hands together.
“That’s not part of the game,” Poe quips, offering her a smug expression. She turns hopefully to you, and you laugh.
“No way,” you say, shaking your head. She sticks her bottom lip out in a pout, before letting her mouth fall open.
“Is it someone here?” she asks breathlessly. You clear your throat, face heating.
“I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” you murmur, slipping out of the booth. Karé and Jess boo loudly at your excuse, but you just flip them off as you head outside.
A light breeze tangles its fingers in your hair and tugs at your shirt, small ripples moving along the fabric. You take a seat on a nearby bench, bringing your legs up and crossing them over each other. Fiddling with a loose thread on your sleeve, you glance upwards. The sky above is littered with small pinpricks of light, twinkling back at you.
A creaking noise sounds to your right, and you look back, to see the door to the bar open. You watch as Poe walks through it, puffing his top lip out and shoving his hands in his pockets. He glances in your direction. You offer him a small wave, which he returns, making his way over to where you sit.
“May I?” he asks, and you nod, turning your gaze upwards once more. He does the same, laying an arm across the back of the bench.
“I wonder how many of those we’ve flown by,” he wonders aloud, motioning to the countless stars and planets above you.
“Probably lots. We really went all over, huh?” He smiles, nodding. You stand, walking to the gate in front of the bar and leaning on it. Poe follows suit, bracing his forearms behind him as he leans back.
“Look, it’s stupid of me to ask, and you don’t have to answer, but...who was it?” You turn your head toward him, puzzled. He nods to the bar. “The game. That last question.” You scoot closer to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. The familiar gesture makes him smile.
“Eh, you don’t wanna know,” you say, and he chuckles.
“Oh, but I do.” You laugh. There’s a moment of silence (not uncomfortable - it never is with Poe) as you figure out how to word your next statement.
“It’s a bit complicated,” you admit, and he turns his head to look down at you.
“Oh?”
“I really like this person, but I also love how close I am with them right now. I’m worried that if they know, that…” you trail off, worried that voicing your concerns will bring them to fruition.
“That everything will change,” Poe finishes quietly. You swallow nervously. “That you could lose them, and you don’t know-” he takes a deep breath “-you don’t know what you would do if that happened.” You turn to face him as he leans up to stand straight, heart pounding in your chest so loud you swear he can hear it. His eyes flit down to your lips momentarily, and your breath hitches.
“Poe,” you say, barely above a whisper. His eyes lock onto yours, and you bite the inside of your cheek.
You open your mouth to continue, but your words die in your throat as he takes your face in his hands. Your whole body goes rigid, and he notices, starting to pull away. Panicking, you place your hands over his, silently reassuring him that it’s ok. He smiles softly, and your cheeks warm.
“Can I kiss you?” he murmurs, and you nod, heart racing. He brings his mouth down to yours tentatively, nose brushing against yours. You smile against his lips, bringing a hand up and burying it in his curls. He fits his hands to your waist, thumb gently brushing over your side. His lips taste like the tequila you’d both taken shots of in the bar, and it’s sweet on your tongue, reminding you of the nectar from the sapflowers back home on Naboo.
The two of you break apart, hot breaths mingling in the small space between you.
“You have no idea,” he murmurs, smile as bright as a thousand suns, “how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His grin widens as you grow flustered, mouth twisting into a small smile.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you say, eyebrows furrowing together. “I didn’t want to mess everything up, and there just wasn’t a good-”
“Hey,” he says gently, taking your hand. “It’s ok, you have nothing to be sorry for.” You smile.
“I really like you,” you say, and he laughs warmly, bringing a hand to your cheek.
“I really like you, too,” he responds, and you lean into the touch. “We should probably head back in, or they’re gonna think we abandoned ship.”
“Sounds like a plan,” you say.
Nobody says anything if they notice how you and Poe hold hands for the rest of the night, sitting closer than you usually do, talking only to each other.
It seems natural, if anything. Like it’s always been that way. Like it’s how it should be.
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WIP Wednesday
Those that know me well know that I am an anomaly among fanfic writers in that I do not post my stories until they are complete. And the one I am writing right now is taking longer than I had anticipated. Life just kept getting in the way. 2021 has been a horrible year, and December has been a nightmare. It's amazing I have written anything at all! Fortunately, writing is therapy for me, and letting myself disappear mentally into a world where Rey and Poe work towards a happily ever after is cathartic. I'm nearing the end of this particular story, and while I am not ready to start posting it, I felt that offering a little tease might get people's attention. I don't seem to have a hoard of readers for my Damerey fics, but those I have are amazing (quality over quantity, right?), so this is for you! See you next year!
Rey Skywalker pushed through the door of the run-down dive on the outskirts of Aldera, her eyes adjusting quickly to the dim light inside. She focused on the far end of the bar, then strode across the hardwood floor, her heels clicking loudly. She knew she looked very out of place in her black satin and tulle mini-dress, but at the moment she didn’t care about all the people staring at her. Only one person mattered.
Sliding onto the bar stool next to that person, she nodded at the bartender. “Rum and Coke, please,” she told the older woman. Then she looked at the man hunched over next to her nursing a Whiskey Sour. This morning, he had looked immaculate, his hair perfectly styled, his tuxedo fitted and sharp. Now his hair was a disaster and his wrinkled tux was missing the jacket and tie. He looked at her finally, his eyes clear but fatigued.
“This is a new place for you,” Rey told him as she accepted her drink. “Trying to hide from me, now?”
Poe Dameron shook his head. “I knew you’d find me.” He took a deep breath and lifted his drink. “How mad is she?”
Rey shrugged, taking a sip from her glass. “No more than the other three women you left at the altar.” Though her voice was soft, her tone was scathing.
Poe groaned, set down his drink, and dropped his forehead down onto his folded arms. “What is wrong with me?”
Rey stared at him for a moment. “I’ve been asking myself that question for a decade,” she finally said, sarcasm heavy in her voice.
He lifted his head and glared at her.
“What?” she asked, responding to his look. “It’s your own fault. You find a beautiful woman who worships the ground you walk on, not to mention your wallet, you convince yourself you love them, you spoil them rotten, you propose after dating them for less than three months, then suddenly you remember you swore you would never get married.” She shook her head. “I guess it’s good you recall that fact before the wedding instead of after. Good for you, anyway.”
“Well, you could maybe try and stop me before I get this far,” Poe groused, taking a gulp of his drink, his face screwing into a grimace as it went down.
“Poe, I’m not your keeper,” Rey argued back, then grimaced herself. Just following him here to this bar made her a liar of sorts. While she might not be able to change Poe’s mind when he was set on something, stupid or otherwise, it always seemed she was the one left cleaning up after him. “You need to stop looking for your mom in these women.”
He looked at her, his eyes wide. “I’m not!” he exclaimed. “I’m looking for…” he stopped suddenly, his eyes narrowing. Then he shook his head and looked back down at his drink. “My mother has nothing to do with this.”
Rey tilted her head at him, wondering what he had been about to say. Looking for what? She sighed, taking another large sip of her drink. “We should probably go,” she told him. “You’ve got a few people to reimburse for their time today.” Musicians, caterers, the minister…
Poe nodded, then looked up at the bartender passed by. “Can you put her drink on my tab?”
Rey had been reaching for her purse and she looked up, surprised. “He come here a lot?” she asked the woman.
“A time or two,” the woman nodded, a smirk on her lips.
Rey looked at Poe, her eyebrows raised.
He shrugged. “What? This is the only place in town no one from Organa Enterprises comes to. Sometimes I need to get away.”
Rey tilted her head at him. “It’s amazing Leia hasn’t fired you, yet.”
Poe snorted. “She’ll never fire me,” he grumbled. “She grooming me to take her place.”
“Keep pulling shit like you did today and she’ll disown you and give the business to Ben.”
...to be continued...
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an insight into forever {poe dameron x reader}
summary: imagine having a love so deep that is completely unwavering - even in the face of broken promises, unspoken words and unfinished conversations
warnings: ANGST, so much angst, swearing, mentions of death
enjoy :) this hurt to write
- jazz
Poe Dameron had a tendency to not think before he spoke.
It was bad at the best of times - and it only got worst when he was around.
Worst, because you were the love of his life. Worst, because you were the most beautiful human being he’d ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. Worst, because he was completely and utterly obsessed you and worst, he’d let you go. He’d done a lot of stupid things - really, really stupid things - but allowing your relationship to reach a better end took the cake. Heck, it baked the cake and threw it into the fucking ceiling fan. Left splatters all up the wall and on the carpet and over his heart. Stained his heart with marks of your relationship, destined to keep him trapped in your unwitting grips until he met his untimely demise, probably in cockpit of an X-Wing (refer back to the really, really stupid things.)
He’d been through a couple break ups but this felt like the be-all-and-end-all. You’d given back his jumpers and jackets and belongings that he’d left in your room, but you still held onto a few tiny pieces of Poe’s heart. It was like a subtle, permanent grip on his brain; he occasionally thought about you but was always painfully aware that he’d let go of the best person in the galaxy. You were a once in the lifetime thing, like winning the lottery or finding gold at the bottom of a rainbow. Both of those were things he’d willingly forfeit in a second if it meant having you back.
So, you probably get the point: Poe was sad, your break-up was bad and you were a little mad (that was a rhyme Finn came up with to summarise the events of your relationship’s bitter demise to anyone who asked). It had been a few months, and you were both finally at the point where you could hang out as a group of five friends with it only being slightly awkward. It had only taken a minor intervention from Rey, Finn and Rose to get you to acknowledge one another again, but it was the first step to being friends. That’s what you’d been before, and if you could just set aside your differences, perhaps you could be there again.
The five of you always made a point to hang out together on a Friday. Your jobs in the Resistance took up every waking second during the week, so it was strictly marked in your calendar as friend time and you would all be there without fail. Usually, you found yourselves in a small cantina in one of the little villages a few miles out from the base on Ajan Kloss. It was the one day a week that things actually felt a little normal; just five young friends and some alcohol, laughing together and having a good time.
There was always something lingering in the air between you and Poe -- stolen glances and sneaky looks, and an atmosphere that paid ode to a million unsaid things and a plethora of unfinished conversations. Arguments that never reached conclusions and hearts that never quite healed; yours nor his. To force it all into a box and slam it shut and to process that hurt with proper closure was holding you back. Clinging onto your shoulders with a mighty grip that prevented you from truly moving on.
‘So, that cute mechanic asked about you today.’ Rose’s voice pulled your attention away from the pilot and back to the painfully Poe-free reality in which you found yourself.
‘He did?’ You blinked in surprise.
‘You did go on a date last week without calling him back.’ She reminded you. ‘He wasn’t bothered. I think he got it - everyone gets a bit busy in this line of work, right?’
Yeah, because that’s why you hadn’t replied to his 27 text messages.
‘I didn’t realise you were even dating again.’ Finn observed, eyes briefly flickering to his best friend. ‘I mean, not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just-’
‘- Finn.’ You cut him off. ‘It’s fine. Poe and I are friends now, right?’
Poe simply looked up, dark eyes shifting from his half-finished drink. He didn’t say anything for a moment, instead giving you a look that emanated the vibe he’d rather swim naked through the seas of Hoth than answer than question. It wasn’t until Finn cleared his throat that he pulled away from your gaze and forced the fakest smile smile known to man, and every other creature that roamed the galaxy.
‘Right.’ Did he normally speak through gritted teeth?
‘So, d’you like this guy?’ Rey asked. ‘He seemed nice when I met him in the air hangar.’
‘He’s...’ you paused. Annoying, whiny, argumentative, has a voice like a foghorn and, most importantly, isn’t Poe Dameron. ‘Fine.’
‘So are you gonna call him back?’ Rose pushed. ‘Because the minute you bring someone new to the table, I can set up ol’ flyboy here with the cute girl from comms who’s been eyeing him up.’
‘I’m okay, but thanks.’ Poe’s fake smile barely faltered, eyes landing on you again. ‘I don’t need a relationship when I have such fulfilling friendships.’
You almost choked on your drink at that. The irony was laying in the fact that you used to love Poe’s little sarcastic jabs and backhanded comments - at least when you’d been sat beside him, laughing into his shoulder and holding his hand under the table. Now, you were in the line of fire and maker knew you’d left your bulletproof vest at home.
Needless to say, his forced smile fell when you gave him a kick on the shin under the table.
‘So..you and Cute Mechanic. Not a thing?’ Finn asked.
‘Definitely not a thing.’ You confirmed.
‘You don’t have to say it on my behalf.’ Poe said. ‘If you like the guy, you can talk about it in front of me.’
‘Don’t flatter yourself.’ You snorted. ‘It’s nothing to do with you. I genuinely don’t like him.’
That was half true: you didn’t like the guy, but it was everything to do with Poe. You could have met the holy grail of men and they still wouldn’t have had a chance in hell. That’s not to say that Poe wasn’t the holy grail, but he was flawed. So you were you. It was those flaws that had lead to your downfall in the first place. Fundamentally, everyone had to have them -- it just so happened that the best parts of you clicked so well and the flawed parts of you clashed so badly. The good times and bad parts were so different that they were like two different ends of a magnet; complete opposites and inevitably polarising.
Rose, sensing the tension between the two of you, suddenly pushed to change the subject. ‘So, did anyone see the General-’
‘- I’m gonna go now.’ You stood up. ‘I’m really tired and I have an early meeting tomorrow.’
All four of them knew that was bullshit. There were no meetings on a Saturday, but they kept schtum. There was a chorus of okay, get some rest! and see you tomorrow, but Poe didn’t say anything. He just kept you in his gaze, watching as you gathered up your things and headed for the door.
The air outside was cold; Ajan Kloss had hot, hot summers and freezing winters. You fumbled to pull your jacket over your shoulders as you stalked away, boots thundering against the muddy path as you headed back for the base. It was only a fifteen minute walk, and it was safe for the most part. Everyone on the planet was either a native villager - all of whom were humble and welcoming - or a fellow Rebel.
You didn’t bother to turn around when you head foot-steps behind you. It was a Friday night, which meant that there was going to be people around.
It was only when somebody grabbed you by the shoulder that you suddenly spun on your heel -- luckily, Poe Dameron managed to catch your fist in time to save it hitting his face. It wasn’t personal. It was natural to get a little trigger happy with the ol’ mitt when a stranger grabbed you in the dark. Only, it wasn’t a stranger. It was your ex-boyfriend, looking as handsome as ever with disheveled hair and a five o’ clock shadow.
‘For fuck’s sake!’ You snapped. ‘What the hell are you doing?!’
‘I came to check you were okay!’ Poe released his grip on your wrist, letting it flop to your side. ‘You only ever stalk out like that when you’re mad.’
‘No thanks to you.’ You shot back. ‘I’m fine. Just go back to the bar.’
‘Short sentences meaning you’re fuming-’
‘- I’m about to be well past that point.’ You cut him off. ‘Go back. Don’t worry about me.’
‘I wanted to talk to you anyways.’ He admitted.
‘About what?’
‘About what you said back there.’ Poe replied. ‘I genuinely meant what I said. I don’t want you to not try things with that new guy because of me.’
‘Poe, I-’
‘- I mean it.’ He continued. ‘I just wanted you to know.’
‘Wanted me to know what?’ You murmured. ‘That I need your permission to date other people?’
‘No, that’s not what I’m saying.’ He frowned at your words. ‘I just...I mean that I wanted you to know that it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore.’
Well if that wasn’t like a knife through the fucking chest, you didn’t know what was.
What hurt more? The fact he was officially letting you go, or the fact he thought you were even capable of falling out of love with him? Because that, you weren’t. Poe might have been the most stubborn, most annoying, most chaotic person you knew but he was everything. Everything you wanted and everything you needed - but everything you couldn’t have. You were two parts of a screwed up whole. Bad apart, but probably even worse off together. It was pretty fucked up of whoever was in the sky that they’d put you both in the galaxy at the same time. Existing without him was less painful than existing in a world where you couldn’t be together.
‘Poe...’ your voice was small, a tiny crack appearing in the middle of his name.
‘Me being an ass is just a defence mechanism.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘And I’m sorry.’
‘I haven’t fallen out of love with you.’ You ignored his apology.
‘Like I said, it’s okay.’ He shook his head. ‘I can see it in your eyes.’
‘If you think you can see it in my eyes then you clearly don’t know me at all.’ Your voice shook, but you managed to throw the accusation at him. An admirable trait, surely.
‘I don’t think I do.’ He admitted. ‘Not anymore.’
--
The next morning, Poe was sat in the canteen. He didn’t normally rise so early on weekends, but thanks to your discussion the night before, sleep had alluded him.
Instead, he was staring aimlessly at his whole bowl of oatmeal. He’d been stirring it around for the better of an hour, thinking of nothing but you. He thought it was sweet of you to have rejected his claims of love (or lack thereof) but nothing you could have said would have made him believe you. It all stemmed down to the fact that he’d spent so long convincing himself of it. If he truly believed - or at least thought he believed - that you didn’t love him anymore, then he wouldn’t fool himself to having false hope, He was more likely to force himself to pull his head out his backside and move on. It was less painful that way, to rip it off like a bandaid. There was no hope if there was no love. Both of those things were and few these days.
Poe jumped out of his exhausted, self-inflicted trance when something slammed on the table in front of him. He practically jumped out of his seat, oatmeal flying everywhere as he let out a yelp. He was about to open his mouth and yell, to cry in vain of his airborne breakfast, but he immediately stopped when he saw you staring down at him.
‘Do you really think I stopped loving you?’
He huffed. ‘I’m not having this conversation with you.’
‘Yes, you are.’ You snapped. ‘Answer the question, Poe. Do you really think I stopped loving you?’
‘What’s this?’ He asked, eyes falling onto the piece of paper resting atop the table.
‘Do you remember a few weeks ago when I went on that mission to Nevarro?’ You asked.
‘Uh, yeah.’ Poe scratched the back of his hair. ‘That dangerous one.’
‘Yeah, the dangerous one.’ You placed one leg over the bench seat opposite him, dropping down onto the table with a thud. ‘I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it back.’
‘None of us were.’
‘This is a letter I asked Leia to give to you in case I died.’ You slid it across to him. ‘You should give it read.’
‘What are you doing?’ Poe sighed.
‘I’m proving a point, Dameron.’
‘Yeah, you’ve always been good at that.’ He snatched the letter from you, pulling it open. ‘You just gonna stare at me the whole time that I read this?’
‘Yup.’
Another sigh escaped his lips as he tore it open, eyes briefly scanning the page for a moment. His brow furrowed - was it possible to feel like words were punching you in the throat?
Poe,
If you’re reading this, it’s either because I’m dead or M.I.A, or you’ve been snooping through Leia’s desk draw in search of that damned Coruscanti candy again. If it’s the latter, put this fucking down. Because it means I’m alive, and I’ll find you and throttle you. If it’s because of the first one, then keep reading, because it means I’m gone. Turns out that I only act immortal.
I should preface this by saying that I’m sorry. Sorry that we didn’t get to be together again and sorry that I didn’t try harder to make it happen. Please know that it’s what I wanted more than anything. You probably already know it, but I never stopped loving you. I died loving you (hopefully in a bad-ass way) and because death is, rather unfortunately, a permanent state, it means that I’ll love you forever.
I’m only being bold with my words because I know you won’t be around for me to be embarrassed by how soft you’ve made me, but you’re my best friend. My other half and my whole world. You made me feel safe and loved and by all intents and purposes, you are my home. Whoever ends up getting to marry you - because you will find someone; the galaxy is a large place and there is another person out there who will find your annoying ass to be rather charming - is the luckiest fucking person ever. I’m just sorry that I can’t be there to watch it happen, and even more sorry that it couldn’t be me.
Love you always, flyboy
- (name)
p.s I have a cactus on my window ledge. Can you water it for me? Thanks.
Poe’s eyes were bleary with tears by the end - at the thought of you dying, at the thought of him being the last person you thought of before you went on that mission. The mission that he’d sent you on, as your Commander. He’d caused you grief without even trying.
‘That mission was two weeks ago.’ He looked up at you, not even bothering to hide the water in his eyes. ‘You wrote this two weeks ago.’
‘Yeah.’ You quietly murmured. Giving a small nod, you stood up from the table and wiped your own eyes. ‘You should hold onto that.’
‘W-where are you going?’
‘I have work to do.’ You stood up. ‘Goodbye, Poe.’
'For now or forever?’ He tried to force a joke, but it didn’t really work in his favour.
‘You had a point in what you said.’ You replied. ‘We should both move on.’
His eyes fell back down to the letter, where a few scrawled words jumped out at him: I’ll love you forever.
Until now, he hadn’t considered the fact that forever was still forever, even when you spent it apart.
tags: @interwebseriesfan24 @spider-starry @itspdameronthings @lifeandloveandhappiness
#well fucking ouch lads#this one hurt#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x you#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron one shot#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron imagines#poe dameron fan fiction#poe dameron fanfic#poe dameron angst#star wars x reader#star wars angst#star wars x you#star wars headcanons#star wars fan fiction#star wars#star wars fanfic
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too tired to speak, kiss me instead || p.d.
warnings: cursing, eating/food mention
word count: <500
ask: ❝i’m the luckiest man in the galaxy❞ with poe? 🥺via @bookbandobssessed
[a/n]: babe you requested this a while ago and tumblr decided to eat the ask when i drafted it so here it is 😐
You don’t even think twice when a pair of hands wrap around your waist and wake you up from your half sleep, soft tufts of hair tickling the back of your neck and incoherent mumbles sound from behind.
“Poe, baby, you’re back,” you murmur, wanting to both immediately have a makeout session but also stay trapped in this little infinity of time forever. You decide the making out can wait. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired,” is all he offers, pulling you closer to him. You giggle, feeling him smile back against where half of his face was pressed into the back of your neck.
“Do you wanna talk in the morning?” Stupid question. It was morning—a glance at your alarm clock told you 09:04. Leia would let you two have a day off, though—you two would fuck up your sleep schedules, catch up with the lovesick idiots (aka Rey and Finn), raid the kitchen in the ungodly hours of the morning, and then fall asleep watching shitty holomovies.
He hums, thinking over your offer. “Yeah. But I wanna kiss now.” Before you can even say anything, he’s trailing butterfly kisses down your arm while chuckling softly. You can do nothing but smile and throw your hand back aimlessly behind you, trying to smack him with no real force behind it.
“Dameron. How can you be too tired to talk but still have enough energy to kiss?”
“Listen. I never said I was too tired to talk.”
“Right. Because flyboy can never keep his mouth shut.”
“Exactly. Whether it be talking or kissing.”
“I’m quite fond of the second one.”
“Oh, are you now?” He starts to tickle your stomach—you can’t even stop him because ha already has hold of your waist. In an attempt to try and get him back he just goes harder and you swear you’re laughing so hard you’re going to start crying. After countless squeals and breathless pleas, he finally lets you out of his hold—the first thing you do is turn around and smack him, watching him wave your hand away with a shit-eating grin on his face. “You are... a dumbass... Poe Dameron,” you breathe, trying to catch your breath.
“You got one key detail wrong. I’m your dumbass.”
You really have no other response than to kiss him which is exactly what you do. It’s softer than normal—one of those ones that only ever happens in the early morning or midnight hazes while each wallows in the realization of how deep they’re truly in love with the other. This idiot looks starstruck, and you can imagine that you must be looking the same.
“Biggest dumbass in the galaxy, Poe Dameron” you whisper.
“Also the luckiest man—”
“Dumbass,” you correct him.
“—in the galaxy.”
#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x you#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron drabble#poe dameron imagine#star wars drabble#star wars imagine#my writing#request
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Meant To Be [part 1]
A/n: missed last week buT NOT THIS TIME WRITERS BLOCK😤 written for @autumnleaves1991-blog writer wednesday
Pairing: Poe Dameron x Finn (modern au)
Warnings: swearing, pining, BB8 is a snarky 4 yr old, cuteness, some thirty thots, I don’t know how toddlers speak forgive me, barely proofread, age gap (Finn is 25 and Poe is 34)
Word count: 1.4K
—-
Poe was so tired. He could feel the sweat rolling down the back of his neck, the sun beating down on him mercilessly as he slammed the trunk of his car close a tad harder than necessary. A tiny head peaked out from the passenger seat at the noise. Poe grimaced.
He was really looking forward to handing over Beebee to Han and Leia for the evening and get some much needed rest. But now he was practically stranded in the middle of a desert, sand as far as his eyes could see and a flat tire, puncture kit nowhere to be found.
Dragging his feet back to the front, he dropped heavily onto the driver's seat, huffing in frustration. The radio was playing a pop song he may have heard sometime in passing, but hey, at least the air conditioning was unaffected and they had more than enough snacks packed for the trip. The last thing he needed was a hangry kid crying from the punishing heat.
Said toddler turned to look at him and he snorted at her serious expression and his aviators looking comically large on her small face. Beebee smiled back. "Now are you going to call grampa Han?" she asked.
"Looks like I don't have a choice," he sighed, prompting a round of giggles from Bee.
"He's going to be mad,"
"Little lady, do you think it's funny when your dad gets yelled at by that old man?"
"I'm gonna tell him you called him old man," she giggled again.
"No you won't,"
"Yes, I will," she told him with conviction.
"Snitches get stitches," Poe lurched forward tickling her sides making her squeal with laughter.
"I'm gonna tell him!"
---
"You always get the same thing! Try something new," Rey groaned.
Finn smiled pleasantly at her irritation, cheerfully replying, "Nope," as Rey parked her ancient looking pick-up truck outside the ice-cream parlour. "And if you get me anything but butterscotch I'll steal your keys," he threatened.
"And then what? Walk home by yourself?" Rey laughed, slipping out before Finn could issue more stupid threats. He pouted in his seat, watching his roommate happily skip into the shop.
Fridays were Finn's favourite. Classes end early and it was his off day too. More often then not Han lets Rey off earlier at the shop so he gets to spend more time with her as well. It was just perfect.
The phone on the dashboard starts to vibrate not a minute later. Finn recognized the caller ID and picked it up. "Hello, Solo,"
"Rey not there?" came the gruff reply.
"Nice to hear from you too, I've been good, how about you?" He asked cheerfully. Maybe the fact that he wasn’t face to face with Han Solo made him a little more bold than usual. Rey swears he is a teddy bear under all that grumpy personality but Finn was yet to be convinced.
"Not in the mood, big deal," the old man huffed on other side.
"I can take a message," Finn folded. Best not to push him too far.
“My idiot godson got himself stranded out in the desert without a puncture kit. I need Rey to go help him out,”
“Aye aye, captain,”
---
Bee was adorably dancing along to the Peppa pig theme song on her god-knows-how-many episode on the iPad propped up against her knees. Exhaustion was pulling at Poe’s eyelids as he fought to keep them open.
It had been almost an hour since he made that absolutely not fun at all call to Han, who spent fifteen whole minutes lecturing him on the importance of being prepared, especially with a toddler dependent on him. Thankfully Leia had interrupted with an excuse of wanting to talk to Beebee.
Then they had waited and waited. He had already gotten out of the car to stretch his legs about three times, not more than a few minutes at a time, too scared he would melt right into the ground from the heat. One particularly long blink of his eyes later, he noticed a battered looking pickup truck approaching and thought dear lord let them be my savior.
The truck parked on the opposite side of the road and a young woman in a tank top and grease stained jeans hopped out. Must be the one Han called Rey. Poe dropped a kiss on Bee’s forehead, asking to her to stay inside. He pushed the door open and— very nearly tumbled to the ground in his gay panic.
Another person stepped out of the truck, a man maybe a few inches taller than the woman. And goddamn, he was fine. The black band tee stretched just so around his chest and Christ, those biceps.
“You must be Han’s godson,” Rey’s voice snapped him out of his gawking. God, he must have been so obvious. For all he knew, the guy could’ve been Rey’s boyfriend.
Poe slapped on a polite smile before offering his hand. “Poe Dameron. Nice to meet you,”
“I’m Beatrice Dameron, but everyone calls me Beebee,” said a voice in an adorable toddler drawl. When the hell did she get out of the car? Was he really that distracted? “Nice to meet you,” Bee offered her hand mirroring him.
Rey crouched down to take her hand. “That’s a nice name. I’m Rey,”
“I asked you to stay in the car,” Poe hissed after Rey went to get the spare tire.
“I didn’t say yes,” Beebee answered before skipping away after Rey. Are four year olds even supposed to be that sassy? An amused chuckle drew his attention back to the handsome stranger.
“Cute kid,” his smile rivaled sunshine— shut up, inner-monologue.
“You’d think that, but before you know it she would have you wrapped around her little finger and you can’t say no to her,” The handsome stranger laughed again and something fluttered in Poe’s chest at the sound.
“I’m Finn, Rey’s roommate,” Oh goodie, not boyfriend then. “You new to town?” Finn asked. God, even his name was perfect.
“Technically, yeah. But it’s fortunate I got transferred somewhere with people I know, ya know,”
“What do you do?”
“Flight instructor at the airbase,” Poe shrugged nonchalantly. It was a brag, he knew it and judging by the arch of Finn’s eyebrows, he thought it was impressive too. “What about you?”
Before he could hear Finn’s answer, Beebee came barreling into Poe, screaming, “I’m gonna be a mechanic when I grown up!”
“That’s great, honey,” Poe lifted up his kid into his arms. Rey walked up behind her.
“You’re all set,” Poe looked at her on surprise. That was fast. After thanking the her for the help, Rey and Finn departed. He sighed forlornly. If only he still had game or time to date.
“You ready to leave now?” Bee nodded her head vigorously. There’s only so much desert one can tolerate.
—-
Han failed to mention his idiot godson was hot. Quite honestly, ‘hot’ wasn’t even doing justice to the head full of dark, gravity-defying curls either. Finn groaned out loud, tipping his head back into the head rest.
“He’s a pilot, Rey,” Rey straight up laughed at his pathetic whining. But Finn paid her no mind as usual. “Do you think he has those uniforms Air Force officers wear? I bet he looks so sexy in them,”
“I don’t know, you could just ask him,” Rey stated.
“Hell no! He has a kid, what if he’s straight? Or worse, what if he’s married?”
“Don’t say you didn’t see him checking you out! Besides, he wasn’t wearing a ring,” Finn briefly wondered when Rey got so observant.
“He wasn’t checking me out!” Finn spluttered.
“Oh ho ho, yes he was,” Rey exclaimed. “Very nearly drooled, too,”
“It doesn’t matter,” he deflated, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m probably not gonna see him again after this anyways,” he lamented.
“He’s Han and Leia’s godson, of course you’re gonna see him again,” as if on queue, Rey’s phone dinged again. “See who texted?” Finn skimmed through the message Han sent and groaned again. “What?”
“Han invited us to dinner, apparently Poe’s gonna be there too,” Finn swore Rey’s answering cackle could be heard for miles.
—-
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everything i do (gonna think of you)
pairing: finn/poe dameron
fandom: star wars (sequel trilogy
rating: teen and up
word count: 4690
warning: swearing, alcohol
summary: Finn and Poe are on a break. Neither of them are okay. But Finn hears Poe singing about him on the radio, and they'll be okay. Always. (musician poe, artist finn, long distance break-up + getting back together)
(it’s been ages but my space bfs, it’s good to be back!! a long overdue installment in my finnpoe alphabet series. did not expect e to be the most difficult letter to work with !!! thank you to Cat / @wendigostag as ALWAYS for beta reading and supporting my messy ideas 🥰 love uuuu. enjoy??)
read on ao3
“And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for, I’m sure!”
The audience erupts in a half-laughter, half-cheer, and the host smiles, looking a bit too tired for his age.
“Tonight’s special performance is by someone who has, quite frankly, taken the whole of America - and dare I say the world? - by storm!”
Previous cheers resurface, louder and more certain than before. Even a few wolf whistles, making the presenter laugh as well.
“Here to perform his new single ‘cardigan’ from the debut album ‘folklore’, Poe Dameron!”
Quite literally everyone in the studio goes crazy, and as the camera directs towards the stage, a light turns on and reveals the curly haired man in all his glory.
He smiles slyly to the audience. A few noises, bordering on the line of screaming, makes him chuckle, but he puts all his focus on the guitar. Snaps, strums, and as the piano starts accompanying him, a soft voice forming strange and unfamiliar words.
Finn wipes the tear away in frustration before it even gets a chance to move, just tiny droplets stinging his vision. He’s sniffling, and biting his cheek, staring at the already half-empty bottle of red wine on the table.
Never in his life has he ever felt more pathetic, that’s true.
He doesn’t know why he’s watching this. And judging by the two texts pinging in on his phone, his best friend Rey somehow knows he’s doing it, too.
His vision’s too blurry to type, he thinks. Fuck it, pour another glass of wine. Who cares?
On the screen, Poe smiles while singing each word. But Finn knows the man better than anyone in that studio to know that it’s not really a smile. It’s the kind that his boyfriend- ex-boyfriend put on at their last FaceTime call. The one where he suggested they took a break.
He figures he should turn off the television when the performance comes to an end. No need to rub anymore salt in the wound, as Rey said.
Yet Finn sticks around for the interview because… because what? He hates himself? He hates Poe?
Neither. Maybe he misses him. Of course he misses him, enough to fight back the sobs, far from sober. But he’ll fight that obvious realisation, as well.
“Thank you for coming in tonight!” the host tells the singer, who thanks him in turn for the opportunity. Always the golden boy. The image of polite, kind, heart full of love, yet so goddamn stubborn.
“Mothers love me.” Poe had told him, back in college, the smug idiot. Finn’s mother loves him.
It’s mostly questions about the album, the upcoming tour, pictures of his parents and his pearly whites gleam when he speaks of them, how proud they are of him. It envelops Finn like a warm embrace. Huh. They haven’t hugged in five months.
They haven’t seen each other in five months.
Then the host starts grinning like a maniac, and he’s got a hunch what’s coming now is what he’s been wanting to ask all along, “Evidently, you got a lot of ladies who love you here.”
Audience cheers. Poe runs a hand through his hair. He’s so nervous, it’s adorable.
“You got a special lady in your life?” a question that quiets the audience significantly, still, waiting.
The singer glances at his shoes like they’re the most fascinating thing in the universe. Finn can’t hold his glass still, because, yeah. He looks like he’s thinking about it too hard. He wants to save him from that situation.
And although it feels like a million years pass, it’s probably only ten seconds before the reply settles, “Not at the moment, no.”
The crowd is nothing less than thrilled. And not only women, as the host implied, nah, everyone in that studio recognizes what a heartthrob Poe Dameron is. Finn couldn’t agree more.
What he knows about his ex-boyfriend that the strangers in the TV don’t know is, obviously, that Poe’s not interested in the ladies.
So does his family and close friends, anyone out of show business, really.
He also knows why his ex-boyfriend isn’t out to the public about his sexuality, yet. Or he’s got an idea. Maybe. Finn convinces himself of that, because then, he can also convince himself that he’s not the only one still feeling he’s being torn to pieces by this breakup. Feels better.
*
Although the screen connecting to his boyfriend’s call tugs on his heartstrings with its familiar warmth, Finn is, above all, pissed.
And for some reason, he feels ashamed for that. He knows he shouldn’t.
Poe hasn’t been home in a month. He was supposed to be here two weeks ago, but due to press bookings, credit to his boyfriend’s brand new agent, he called Finn late at night apologising like a broken record and promising to make it up to him.
And it makes him feel like shit.
Every apology made him feel more guilty for… harboring his time. Which is crazy, because they’ve been going steady for three years. They talked about this, the possibility of long distance, and knew, definitely, that it was gonna be hard, especially since they’ve been attached by the hip for so long.
Thing is, this has happened three times now, and it’s made Finn question himself.
Is he good enough for Poe? then later, another thought creeps in, Is Poe tired of him? or… is he not in love with him anymore?
Finn feels like he’s going crazy.
And even when he sees his boyfriend’s soft curls and eyes full of sunshine pop on his phone, it’s those thoughts that still inhabit his head. Fuck.
“Baby!” Poe says, excitement gleaming right through him and into Finn’s bedroom. They’ve been talking about moving in together, but, well, with long distance, mostly only talk for now. He’s off chasing the fame, which he deserves more than anyone, thank you very much, and Finn’s already booked up with art galleries and auctions eagerly grasping for his paintings. It feels like they’ve made it.
Except, “Phasma’s got me on Jimmy Kimmel! Like, can you believe that?!” his boyfriend spills out everything from this week, and it warms Finn’s chest, his gut, all the way down to his toes. But at the same time, this being Poe’s first words to him stirs weirdly alongside that warmth.
His career’s important. Of course. Finn’s happy for him, like, over the moon, all the way across the solar system happy.
He wants him to be successful. So then… then why does it feel like Poe prioritises it over them? It’s probably him overthinking it, he reasons. Again.
Finn can definitely feel he’s supposed to be sleeping right now; that’s another thing, cursed with being in vastly different time zones. He listens, smiling half-tiredly, thoughts wandering to everything and nothing.
Which is why he finds himself, all of a sudden, replying to his boyfriend’s, “I, uh, I’m actually writing you another song. Don’t laugh, please,” with, “A secret kind of song? ”
It takes Poe by surprise, visibly, and it takes himself, as well.
Finn bites down on his tongue in the cringe of it all. His boyfriend’s blinking, slowly, probably waiting for some sort of elaboration, but when he has no idea what to say, Poe inquires, “What do you mean?”
He sighs. Wholeheartedly, wistfully, nostalgic.
Finn thinks about when Poe asked him out, driving up to his window in true cheesy romantic comedy style and having offered to write essays in exchange for a school marching band performance.
Their first date, eating cotton candy and the curly haired boy insisting on trying and failing to win Finn a prize, until finally facing defeat. He won Poe a prize instead, first try, so the previous grumpiness faded in a matter of seconds. The butterflies threatened to burst his stomach the entire day.
Their first time, clumsy and awkward, teeth clanging in kisses and stupid buttons in Finn’s shirt being stuck and they laughed until they were out of breath. It was more perfect than anything either of them could’ve imagined.
He thinks about this, because neither of them were out before they got together.
This coming out thing? It scared the shit out of Finn. He was so lucky to have a supportive family, supportive friends. The school was a mixed experience, but he and Poe were in it together. His boyfriend tried to play it cool, but he knew how scared he was, too. He knows like the back of his hand, almost.
And this concern, it makes him feel so guilty he might vomit.
“I just… I was just wondering if you wanted to be official.”
“We are official, Finn.”
“No, I-I mean, public.”
He gulps around the growing lump in his throat. Poe goes scarily quiet.
This is also something they’ve talked about before. Fame is so new, it’s a whole new leap, learning how to handle all this, so it didn’t bother either of them to be secretive about their relationship, so to speak.
Their close network still knew, obviously, but the music industry, Hollywood, that’s way, way different than Finn’s newly established and growing network of artist connections and colleagues.
It wasn’t a problem. Until it was.
Coming out is personal. But ever since his boyfriend said he wanted to go public, then didn’t, as they were both on edge, then decided they should move in together and go public to slam down journalists linking Poe to a member of a girl group he met last summer, then didn’t.
It’s happened a couple of times. And finally, it seems, Finn is coming to terms with being tired of being ready and then backing out.
He’s terrified. Terrified of Poe being embarrassed of him, which he knows sounds crazy, also. But fuck.
“Baby, we’re gonna do it,” his boyfriend reassures him, but he’s distraught now, “You know we are. My agent just talks about my image, you know, I need to make sure-”
“Your image?”
That… that pisses Finn off. Conclusively. Because what the fuck?
“Phasma thinks we should do it at Christmas, season of love, you know?” Poe smiles shyly, he always loved the holidays. And he just doesn’t know how to react. “She’s fine with it, like, she didn’t ask me to fake being straight, like the guy I talked with before. Just-
“Are you embarrassed of me, Poe?” he finds the words slipping out before he can stop his mouth.
His boyfriend’s eyes widen significantly on the small screen, opens and closes his mouth several times, and there’s definitely a yell from somewhere in the studio, but Poe ignores it completely, “Of course not. Finn, I’m the luckiest guy in the world because of you. I just really… really think we need to time this right.”
“I,” Finn starts, but he’s barely sure where he’s going with the sentence. All he knows is that he’s scared Poe might tell him that all this time meant nothing to him. He doesn’t know why he leaps to that, but he does. His boyfriend might find something better than him in the limelight, “I know. You’ve told me, and I get it, I do. It’s just difficult being so far away from you, and then…”
He feels himself drifting off into a cloud of numbness and nothing, but Poe interrupts the sentence, “I thought you’d be more supportive of my career.”
Finn nearly jumps. The words don’t sound cold, per say. But it’s weird. The good old butterflies flutter hesitantly, sort of in question.
“I am, darling, I-” he sighs again, “I’ve always been. You’ve just seemed like you’re ready, and I got the feeling that your agent didn’t want you to, and-”
“Phasma wants it.”
“But on Christmas, Poe. This Christmas. I’m just scared you’re…” Finn shakes his head at himself, decides to be completely honest, because that’s how relationships work. Right? “Waiting for the moment to end this.”
“End this?” his boyfriend’s voice raises just an octave, looking perpetually confused. He also, admittedly, looks pissed. Hurt. “Do you want to break up with me?”
“No! Why would I-
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
Finn rubs his eyes, feels like they’re on goddamn fire. Poe’s biting his lips, rummaging around after moving what he assumes is a more private room than before, and avoiding eye contact. They shouldn’t be doing this on the phone. They shouldn’t be doing this at all.
He wishes his boyfriend was next to him, so he could curl up on his chest and sleep the entire weekend. It’s all he wants.
Ultimately, Finn makes the suggestion, “Baby, I’m sorry, I just… why don’t I call you next time you’re free? Or can you… are you getting back anytime soon?”
He doesn’t know how to describe this feeling, what’s happening, in any other way than it seems like Poe’s on a different planet than him, drifting in a meteor rain.
What Finn doesn’t expect least of all is his boyfriend’s answer, “Nah, you know, if you feel like that, we should take a break. A breather.”
And Poe smiles, but he sees through that bullshit. It doesn’t reach his eyes.
He’s trying to play it cool. Fuck. Why are Finn’s eyes stinging, now?
“A break?”
“Yeah.”
That’s so much to process. Fucking process it. The protests are bubbling under his skin, boiling and ice cold at the same time, but he doesn’t get the time when the yells on the end of the world resume.
“I really should go.” Poe tells him, but he doesn’t sound like he wants to.
“Poe…” he tries to breathe around the butterflies currently panicking inside of him. He’d scream at them to stop for just five seconds, if he could. His boyfriend’s already getting up from the seat, which is why Finn pinches the bridge of his nose and tries not to look at him, “Okay. Okay.”
The silence that settles between them, then, until they end the call in confusion and boiled up emotion, is far from the comfort they’ve been accustomed to. It ends without a goodbye. Without an I love you.
So, naturally, he gets absolutely zero sleep that night.
*
Whenever Rey told them they were being overdramatic, she was probably right. This is no exception.
Ever since the damnation of their FaceTime call, Finn tried to get into his head what went down. Namely, him and his boyfriend speaking over each other’s heads. It settles in the morning, the realisation that Poe assumed the worst of what he said, while he himself didn’t understand why he couldn’t come home . Just one day. Just to talk this out.
But in a recognizable stubborn fashion, his boyfriend ignored his calls and texts for the weekend. Finn tried so, so hard not to get pissed again. But also, Poe actively avoiding him made him want to cry. Not being able to just hear his voice made him want to cry.
Naturally, the following week, when his boyfriend decided to reach out, Finn became the one to ignore all forms of contact. It felt like they were walking in circles.
This is new and raw territory.
Finn and Poe don’t fight. It’s a basic law of the universe.
Which is why he doesn’t blame Rey for widening her eyes in shock at this new development. He also knows that she wants to intervene, badly so, given how protective she is of them, but because she’s lovely she always somehow knows when Finn needs his own space to think. Or scream into the void a little bit, whatever does the trick.
He’s pretty sure she didn’t expect this to go on for four months, now. He sure as hell didn’t expect it.
But… they’re both to blame. Finn’s pretty much dug himself a hole in the ground filling up with all his feelings, and as every week passes by, waits for his boyfriend to make the first move. He expects Poe to do the same. Nothing’s moving forward.
So, if Rey didn’t know him as she did, she’d ask him why.
Why don’t you just call him? He could. When his boyfriend stopped ignoring him, that is. Thing is, Finn’s world is sort of crumbling right now, and a confrontation with that isn’t something he can handle, he thinks.
It’s the thought of losing Poe for good. It’s the thought of Poe thinking Finn doesn’t want him anymore, when in fact he fears the exact opposite.
After watching that interview, though, he could breathe a little easier, he’ll admit.
And it’s weird. He felt inherently about a hundred times worse during it. The day after, he just kept thinking about Poe and his stupid curls and his nervous smile and what he might be doing while Finn was helping his sister with the dishes.
Maybe it’s knowing his boyfriend- ex-boyfriend (?) is okay. Does look more okay than himself.
It calms him. The next day, it makes Finn want to burn up all their polaroids and mail the ashes to the singers’ hotel in a massive envelope. As said before, this hole is deep, too deep, making it difficult to be rational.
A week after the interview, he’s just about on the edge to complete numbness.
Maybe he’s been reading those hilarious dumb gossip magazines whenever his boyfriend was on the cover. Shut up. If he acknowledges the ridiculousness of that, it’ll only make it worse.
Finn feels weak for being this torn up after a breakup… or break. He’s had breakups before Poe, but none of them hurt like this. Does it ever just fucking stop?
Apparently not, because when he picks up the phone with Rey’s name flashing, Finn expects it to be another question of what’s going on. How he’s doing, or not even a question, but an order to let her in as she’s probably already standing in front of his building carrying ice cream and bad horror movies.
He doesn’t get why she doesn’t just use the key he got her already, but it’s still endearing. Except, “Turn on the radio.”
“What?
“Finn, turn on your radio. Trust me.”
And so he scrambles around, the determination in her voice definitely not something to mess around with. Finn eventually uncovers it underneath the mountain of Poe’s vinyl records, and while his best friend doesn’t even tell him what station she’s referring to, he’s got a feeling about it.
Also, it’s the first station that pops through the speakers when he turns it on, so.
Then, he has absolutely no idea what to listen for. The hosts are making some jokes about the song they’re gonna play next, thereozing about a “lost love” , and Finn’s about to ask until he realises Rey’s hung up on him, and a text.
just wait. u won’t regret it.
It’s too ominous for his best friend’s usual shenanigans. He’s a little worried.
But unlike the last hellish, unbelievable four months, Finn doesn’t have much time to worry, before the voices announce, “We present an exclusive live performance from our new favorite heartthrob, Poe Dameron!”
Oh God. Oh God, oh shit, oh my god.
Naturally, Finn’s anxiety kicks in like a punch in his gut.
In fact, he’s about to pull up his best friend’s contact again, sick of hearing the single that Poe wrote for him and not even being able to revel in the feeling anymore. Only it’s not ‘cardigan’.
Four months ago, a few days before they decided to take a break, his boyfriend sent him a couple of voice notes, containing lyrics and guitar pieces and other bits for the album he wanted Finn’s approval on. He always wanted his opinion first. It makes him all warm again.
This song, however, is brand new, unheard to everyone’s ears. Including Finn.
“I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit
Been saying "yes" instead of "no"
I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though
I hit the ground running each night
I hit the Sunday matinée
You know the greatest films of all time were never made”
The melody has the same calm like the other songs he’s heard, an image of fairytales and bare feet dancing in the woods and stars twinkling in the night.
The melancholy is unfamiliar, though.
“I guess you never know, never know
And if you wanted me, you really should've showed
And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow
And it's alright now”
Finn’s thumb hovers over Rey’s contact name, but he can’t bring himself to move.
It’s the alright part. Except, despite how much he tries to lie to himself, he swears to everything god that his boyfriend’s voice breaks over the word. It’s subtle enough that the interviewers could pass it on as him being hoarse, he reasons, but Poe can’t fool him.
He wants him to be okay. Actually, no, because being okay means not missing Finn like Finn misses him, and that would hurt more than anything he can imagine. But also, he’s too far away for a reassuring hand. That’s why he wants him to be okay.
“But we were something, don't you think so?
Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would've been you”
For some reason, it’s only then it settles into Finn’s mind.
Oh.
Oh.
The song keeps going, and his emotions keep going, from the chaotic jumbled mess he’s become accustomed to a quiet buzz. He feels like his breathing’s slowed down, and a pocket in his heart is being emptied onto the floor.
Poe feels exactly the same way, he imagines. He has to.
Finn’s abandoned his phone somewhere unknown between the couch cushions, and he’s stuck staring at the empty wine bottle he hasn’t had the energy to get rid of, his microwave dinner half eaten, until his ex-boyfriend’s song comes to an end.
‘the 1’ is the title. He doesn’t know if he’s crying or not, which sounds a bit dumb in his own head.
“Poe Dameron!” one of the interviewers yells obnoxiously, clearly trying to hold in their excited giggling, “Those were quite emotional lyrics. I’m guessing there’s a story there somewhere?”
Finn could roll his eyes into the next century at that comment. Jesus Christ.
The singer’s complained about these kinds of people before, of course, he chuckles, politely, hesitantly, probably spinning the best way to avoid opening that door of vulnerability on open air, “I think everyone writes from their own experience, really.”
His voice has the same elegance and softness and gruff that makes Finn think of home, despite the tinny speakers and distraction that vibes off of him, all the way over in the states. It’s unbelievable.
The interview keeps going in the most standard way possible, a couple more questions Poe subtly circles around (including about dating, obviously), some jokes, and they eventually get to that segment where the listeners can call in and ask their own question to the dreamy man.
Some are boring, some are weird, some are intrusive, some are just teen voices in awe of his relatability and what not, mountains of flattery which his boyfriend is all too shy and starstruck to handle.
Finn bites his lip.
They repeat the number of the radio twice. The programme ends at nine. That means about forty five minutes of fan questions.
He shouldn’t. This is ridiculous. But what if… what?
Poe’s voice somehow carries his hand to fish the phone up again, though, like a strike of magic. And then the tone sounds, one, two, three, and it’s too late to take it back now. Shit.
“You’re live! Can our next lucky listener introduce yourself and your question?”
He tries so hard, desperately so, to swallow around the lump in his throat, seeming impossibly massive. The eerie silence is simply too painful to bear, though, so Finn squeezes his eyes shut hard for two seconds, before forcing the reply out.
“Yes, uh, hi. This is Finn Solo. From Pennsylvania.”
A beat. “Pennsylvania?! Well, honey, that’s actually Poe Dameron’s home state, isn’t it?”
Two beats. The singer clears his throat. “Yeah.” Clearly, he recognizes his voice in an instant. Well, obviously, he’d be shocked if he didn’t. Still, Finn feels like curling up in a ball and hiding from the world. He wonders if Rey’s listening, right now.
The interviewer seems unfazed from Poe’s hesitated answer, or they just choose to ignore it, he supposes. “The floor is yours, Finn. Ask ahead!”
So… how is he supposed to do this, again?
This is the worst idea Finn’s had in his entire life. Seriously. And he accepted Rey’s dare to swing all the way up and around the swingset in fifth grade, he’s well aware of what reckless looks like. This is it.
Still, he’s stuck now. Poe’s listening to him. Kind of forced to.
And against his own better judgement, Finn silences the million overthinking thoughts in his inner ear by simply saying whatever hits him first, “Did you mean what you said? In the song?”
Seconds feel like fucking hours right now.
“Sorry, can you-” one of the hosts start, but he feels moved to continue. “When did you write it?”
It’s low, the feedback of his boyfriend’s microphone can just be made out. He prays that was only comprehensible enough for Poe’s own ears, because Finn could never possibly live with himself if he outed the person he loves most in the world. Seems so, given the interviewer once again asks the singer in confusion.
“What do you say, Poe? Do you need, uh… for him to elaborate?”
“No.” the man says simply, shyness seemingly having faded away in a glimpse. “Finn, I wrote this back in May.”
Four months ago. Same month as their FaceTime call.
“Only a week after our call. Took me five hours. I needed to get every word just right.” Poe says those words so steadily it shocks Finn. His hand feels numb and itchy around the tiny device, and one of the hosts gasps.
“I-” he starts, but has no idea where to go, where to turn. Finn didn’t expect any of this tonight. A deep breath is needed, “Do you mean… you wrote it about me?”
He feels like an absolute idiot for asking, even doubting it, but given the emotional rollercoaster he’s been through up until now, he’s grasping for straws of confirmation. Poe chuckles, barely audible.
“All my songs are about you, darling.”
What the fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Another gasp is heard in the studio, a little louder this time, but he sends a silent thanks, still, to them being too taken aback to intervene.
Okay, these are definitely tears in Finn’s eyes, now.
One rolls down, cool against his hot cheek, and he almost wants to laugh widely, processing what’s happening over and over in his brain.
What’s mostly replaying is the nickname that he’s missed… too much.
If they were in the same room, in front of each other, alone , he could say and ask a million things. This conversation is impossibly too vulnerable for open air, but Finn really thinks, really, that this step was needed. At least, it’s something he’s been longing to hear.
Instead of breaking down in the happiness and sadness he’s feeling, instead of talking about the miscommunication they’ve been the victim of, he smiles. Can’t stop. It’s hurting his whole face, actually, but his chest feels endlessly lighter.
“If… uh,” Finn chuckles at himself again, him and his stupid emotions, probably laced obviously in his voice, “Is there a chance that you still want to write songs about me?”
Poe laughs back, warmer and wobblier than before. “Of course. Of-fucking-course. There’s no one else I’d rather write about.”
Those hosts over there are probably freaking out big time, but Finn can’t bring himself to care much.
They sigh rather in unison. Him and his boyfriend. Breathing shaky and yet steadying themselves, almost. Together.
“Okay. Okay. Thank fuck,” he finds himself sniffling, “Okay.”
“They’ll always be about you.”
#mine#my writing#swedit#fanfiction#swcreators#stormpilot#finnpoe#finn x poe#starwarsedit#star wars fanfiction#queernet#eloquencenet#sabrinasfamily#usernessa#fanfic#teen and up#getting back together#long distance#tw: swearing#tw: alcohol#angst#happy ending#modern au#usersari#finnpoeedit#creatorssource
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a Poe fic where he just constantly refers to the reader as “my wife” even though they’re not even together and he keeps saying it anyways 😂
i feel like i made this waaaay too angsty but enjoy hehe, there will probably be a part two so look out for that <3
request: poe fic where he just constantly refers to the reader as “my wife” even though they’re not together
pairings: poe dameron x reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of sex
****
“Yay! Mission with my wife!” Poe beams as soon as General Organa has finished briefing you on your next objective. You roll your eyes good naturedly, completely used to his behaviour by now.
“Not your wife, Poe. Also the mission isn’t for a week, calm down.” You remind him for the millionth time, ignoring the snarky voice in the back of your head that reminds you that you wish you were his wife.
Oh, can you blame yourself? This is Poe Dameron you’re talking about. He might just be the most attractive man in the galaxy. Not to mention the most charming, the most caring, the funniest. The list goes on. You were head over heels for him the moment you saw him. You were being shown around base by General Organa, and he’d accidentally bumped into you whilst rounding a corner.
“Hey, watch it, precious cargo here!” He’d shouted, his eyes widening as your eyes met. You had opened your mouth to apologise, but he carried on talking before you could, “Woah, even more precious cargo here. Will you marry me?” He was joking, of course, but from that moment on he has referred to you exclusively as his wife. Save for the occasional pet name he jokingly drops, which you would never admit make your heart melt every time they pass his lips.
“You could be.” He wiggles his eyebrows and you just giggle, shaking your head as you pick up your data pad and get ready to leave, “Hey, where are you going?” He pouts as you get up from your chair, and you notice General Organa watching you with that wry smile of hers.
“Me and Rey are flying to Coreilla tonight, we’re picking up some intel.”
“Thanks for the invite, you’re not a very good wife.” He folds his arms on top of the table, resting his chin on them as he looks up at you.
“Still not your wife. Anyways, you’ve got your third date with Jessie tonight, so…” It’s your turn to wiggle your eyebrows now, even though you feel your heart break every time you think about him with another girl.
He groans, burying his head into his arms, and you share a good natured eyeroll with General Organa. The two of you are completely used to his antics by now.
“That was supposed to be a one time thing, Y/N. She’s so persistent, and I feel bad saying no.”
“It’s worse if you lead her on. Just do what you usually do, do the deed then dump. You’ve had no problem with it before.” Just your luck, the man you’re in love with is a man whore.
“And maybe you’ll eventually find someone to teach you some grace and decorum, Commander,” Leia chimes in, and you snort at her comment whilst Poe starts to rebuttal, “Y/N, promise me you’ll never go for a womaniser, that was my first mistake.”
“I promise.” You smile at the General, reaching over and squeezing Poe’s hand before you leave quickly, realising you’re late to meet Rey.
****
“Hey, wifey.” Poe intercepts you as you wait next to the falcon for Rey. You’re leaning back against the ship and he leans next to you, looking at his feet.
“Not your wife.” You smile, “Off to meet Jessie?”
“Yeah. Sealing the deal tonight.” He jokingly mimes the action of having sex and you giggle, focusing on him rather than the fact that he’d be having sex with Jessie tonight. Jealousy is not a good look on you. Besides, why would you want to ruin this good thing you have with him.
“Don’t be a dickhead, Poe.” You don’t know how else to respond, really.
“Y/N?” He says your name softly, and you turn your head to face him, noting that he has done the same.
“Yeah?” You try to act like you aren’t affected by the sudden closeness of your faces, your noses almost brushing as you look into his dark eyes. He licks his lips slightly, the action drawing your gaze downwards. You silently curse the blush that takes over your face.
He doesn’t respond, and just as you’re about to ask what is wrong, he leans forward, connecting your lips in a light kiss. Your eyes flutter shut, shock taking over your body as he leans closer, kissing you harder.
You don’t think twice before returning the kiss, and he moves to stand in front of you, trapping you against the wall as his hand cups the back of your neck. You can feel the desperate emotion in the kiss. You’re telling him everything you don’t know how to say out loud.
“Oh… Oh Maker…” You pull apart quickly, Poe whipping his head round as you both look to where Rey has just rounded the corner, her wide eyes darting between the two of you.
“I… oh Maker. That was a mistake.” Poe spits out quickly, his hand clenching on the back of your neck for a moment before he meets your eyes once more then walking off, not even looking at Rey as he goes.
Your face falls at his comment. Of course it’s a mistake. But fuck him for getting your hopes up like that. Rey doesn’t say anything, just wrapping you in a hug as you try to compose yourself. She knows how you feel about Poe.
A few minutes later, you’re on your way out of the base, thankful for the timing of this mission.
That is, until you’re captured by the first order.
****
Poe sighs, plastering a smile on his face as he listens to Jessie’s story about the last man who broke her heart, and although he feels bad, he just doesn’t care about what she’s saying. His mind is completely preoccupied by the eventful kiss a few hours prior. Why did he do that? He ruined your friendship because of a stupid split second decision.
He doesn’t realise anything wrong until later on, when he and Jessie are walking across base towards his room. He sees Leia and Finn talking across the room, and he almost doesn’t spare them a second glance. That is until Finn lets out a pained cry, the two running towards the comms room.
He knows then that something must’ve gone wrong on your mission and he doesn’t even give Jessie a second thought before he’s sprinting towards the comms room, screaming at Leia and Finn to wait up. He falls into stride with them, taking in their devastated expressions as he asks what has happened.
Leia says she will explain when everyone is gathered in the room and Poe groans, his hands shaking as they finally reach the command centre. A few minutes later the team is gathered and she breaks the news.
“The First Order must have intercepted our communications with the village, they ambushed Rey and Y/N before they even knew anything was wrong. We think Rey may have escaped, as a villager believes they may have seen her running away. However we have had no contact with her so we don’t know. Y/N, on the other hand, she was knocked unconscious and carried onto the command shuttle by Ren himself.”
Poe stops breathing in that moment, his whole world stops spinning and Finn is startled when he falls to his knees suddenly. The room is shocked, Commander Dameron is on his knees, crying. Leia shoots off commands and everyone quickly gets to work locating the ship that you’re being held on.
She approaches Poe carefully, crouching down and tentatively laying a hand on his shoulder, which is shaking from his sobs.
“Poe, I know it hurts, thinking about what could be happening to her. She needs you now more than ever, you’re our best pilot. Do you think you can handle commanding this mission?”
This snaps him out of it, he stands quickly, wiping his eyes as he snaps into commander mode.
“I can do it. They’ve got my fucking wife.”
#poe imagine#poe dameron x oc#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron x reader#star wars imagine#poe x oc#poe x reader
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mysterious house
Summary: Here is my entry for @autumnleaves1991-blog's writing challenge. combined with my favorite show charmed( original) with star wars. poe comes to visit a friend. then finds something mysterious about her. hope the fans of charmed like this. for the ones that never seen it? you will love it.
Losing a loved one is never easy for some. No matter if it was from cancer, accident or violent act. The Organa family has been through so much in the last few years. Melinda Organa lost her brother, Ben, her father,and uncle. Now her mother, leia.now she is the only one left not counting your baby sister Rey. Hard for her to shed any tears. All she did was smile through her pain.
After the funeral. Guests come to her Victorian house. Which belonged to her family. Full of history and mystery. Police have been hounding her for the cause of her familys' deaths. If she tells them the truth? They would put her in a padded cell.
Poe Dameron drives up to the house. Look at it. In his mind it hasn't changed since he used to come by to visit Melinda. Last time was when she went away to college. Found out she came back when there was a family situation that caused her to move back home. Forced to leave toher dream job. Working at an auction house. Now she works at a museum. All he wanted was comfort his friend. That is what she needs.
Going inside sees a few familiar faces. Finn for one. Even Rey. Went over to chat with them. Asked about Melinda. All they could say was that you were in no mood to talk. Just wanted to be left alone. Heeding their advice. Go to the dining room. Sees Melinda sitting alone. Staring off in space. Didn't acknowledge anyone being in the room. Or the feel of Poe's large hand on her shoulder caused her to freak out! Meaning she almost used her special gift on him. Instead she turned around," are you dumb or just plain stupid! Want to be alone! Did Fin and Rey tell you that! That includes you. " kneeling in front of her. Take her hand," look I'm sorry for not being able to come sooner. Was hard to find a pilot to switch flights with. I'm here as long as you need me. I know I haven't been a good friend to you mel. I'm here now. To help you." She sighs," what could you have done huh! Tell me what ! I'm crazy! Saying my mom died from something no one could ever explain to anyone else! Sorry dameron. I don't need your sympathy." Pushes him aside when she goes upstairs.
Watching her go. Then sits down in the chair she was sitting on. Moans," damn, how am I supposed to help her?" For a moment he felt like someone was there. Thought it was nothing. So he got up to get his bag from the car.
Rey goes upstairs to comfort her sister," mel,that was rude of you to yell at Poe! He is here for you! This is your chance to make amends. He loves you! You love him even though he doesn't know…" she finishes the sentence," that we are witches. Our family got killed by demons from the first order. Oh added that we are the charmed ones! Minus 1! Sorry, I'm not in a forgiving mood." She tried to tell her about Poe staying with them before she left the room.
Late that night. Poe woke up to the sounds of footsteps. Opening the door. No one was there. Closing the door. Heard it again. Thinking it was just the normal thing since the house is very old. Now he couldn't get back to sleep. He got up to explore the house. He was not alone. Rey got out of her room," why are up? " poe whispers," heard footsteps thought someone is in the house. This house gives me the heevy jeeves. " she laughs," come on scary cat.let's investigate."
Two of them walked down the hall then heard the footsteps behind them. Caused them to turn around.no one. Both of them start to freak out. Both of them went to wake Melinda. She moans," what? I need some sleep! Can't this wait till morning! " poe sighs," no it can't! Someone else might be in the house. Need to find out what is going on!" In a huff. She gets out of bed," oh you two fucking babies there is no one in this house. Let me say this. If we find out there is no one here. Two of you are to leave me alone till morning. Got it?" Both of them look at her,and nod three of them leave her room to track down the mysterious footsteps.
Melinda starts to believe Rey and Poe. Melinda hears them too. You are a more logical person than your sister. Trying to figure out where the sound is coming from. Suddenly hear a door creaking down stairs. Three of you reached the stairwell to see a light coming from the dining room. Funny there is no door. Quietly approaching the room. Trying to find the door. All off you feeling around the walls, and even the bookcase. Poe found a book that was leaning in a weird position. Pull the book. Bingo! It opens. Poe leads the girls down a series of stairs. Leads to what looks like a basement. Melinda froze. Rey felt her tense up," what is it? Looks like you just saw a ghost." Looking ahead is what they saw. Lost loves standing before them. Well one of them. Melinda froze," Ben? How? Thought you were dead! What is going on?" He laughs," my dear sisters had no clue what was going on. Powerful witches as yourselves couldn't figure out what was going on." Poe looks at the girls. Did he hear him right? Melinda and Rey are witches? Ben circles them," oh it was so much fun to watch you two grieve over our family. Being killed by my new family. Love the power I have! No one could stop me from killing you all.! Then I can take over the nexus!" Melinda flicked her hand. Caused Ben to hit the wall. Ben's hands glow like lightning. Ready to throw the lighting at Melinda is when Rey yells," energy ball!" Throws it at her brother. Which it almost weakens him. Poe wants to help. Rushed towards ben. Until he was pushed back into a wall knocking him out. Melinda rushed over to him. Sees he is knocked out. Reaching for Rey's hand. Both of them chant a spell that caused him to shake violently,and disappear. Both of them cried. Until orbs of light appeared to them. See, it was leia. Reaching for them," oh my daughters. Thank you for defeating kylo. Yes, he appears as your brother but he was gone before I knew it was going on. Melinda,it is time to let go over your anger for what Poe did. He cares about you so much.That is why he is here. Oh,my young rey. Time for you to do what you dream about. Bless it be my darlings" Leia disappears. Melinda tends to poe. He wakes up,``Mel,are you okay?" Helping him up. Melinda clears her throat," wanna tell you I'm sorry for being a bitch to you. You are too sweet to be treated like that. If you like? We could start over? Clean slate." Poe cups her cheeks,and kisses her lips.
Melinda told Poe not to tell anyone what he saw. Now he knows their secret and he wants to protect them, especially Melinda. Soon they leave the room. Orbs of light appeared to Poe. A man appears before him. He spoke," well done, now you know the truth, now it's time for you to fulfill your destiny as a witch. Leia knew of your secret,but soon the others would know as well. So go and be with Melinda. Bless it be" soon the man disappeared leaving poe by himself in front of the door. With a wave of his hand . The door shuts. Power of three is back.
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little bee
summary: Poe has fallen in love with (Y/n). And the female has fallen in love with the pilot. Both of them are too shy to confess their feelings. Maybe a certain white an orange droid can help them.
pairings: soft!Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader
warnings: fluff like really hard fluff
words: 1253
a/n: I only wrote this because beebee (don’t ask why I call him that, okay?) is the dog I always wanted hehe :)) (oh and poe is the boyfriend I will never have lol)
MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES
Whenever Poe Dameron saw a glimpse of (Y/n) Solo, he felt the urge to wrap his arms around her and press her as close as possible to his chest.
He wants to bury his face in her hair, taking in the sweet scent of it and feeling the softness tickle his nose.
He wants to look into her magnificent (e/c) eyes and see the entire galaxy in it, losing himself slowly.
He wants to kiss her lips, those soft lips which always show him a smile. And her hairline, forehead, nose, cheeks, neck; all of her lovely body.
But everything the pilot does when he sees the female, is stare, smile and wave awkwardly before running off. Poe can‘t control himself around her. It‘s strange because before he met her, he could flirt and talk to girls like he could breathe. But now he can‘t even greet her without being awkward.
Poe is inside his room in the Resistance base on Ajan Kloss when his favorite droid enters with a happy beep. On his head lays what looks like a flower crown of exotic colorful flowers. A smile forms on Poes lips because beebee never looked better.
“Did you follow Rey again during her training?“, he asks curiously who would have the time to make his droid a flower crown. Beebee beeps and answers Poes question. The pilots eyes widen as his droid mentions one particular female - (Y/n).
“What (Y/n) made you this? Why?“ Poe slides down from his bed and onto the floor, kneeling in front of his droid to somehow make eye contact. Beebee moves his head from side to side, trying to figure out his friends emotions. The droid knows about the pilots crush on the young woman, hell he knows too much because the pilot can‘t stop talking about (Y/n).
„She was sitting in a meadow in the jungle, so I joined her. We talked, well she talked mostly and then she made me the crown and told me I was looking gorgeous.“
Poe laughs because beebee raises his head somehow, as if he wants to show off.
“Oh, you look definitely gorgeous, beebee“, the man says and pats the droids side. “What were you talking about?“, he asks, hoping to find out more about (Y/n).
“She told me that she misses her father but that you remind her of him because you are, and I quote: as reckless, stubborn and stupid as him. Oh, and she said you look pretty and would like to get to know you better, but is to shy to talk to you.“
Poes eyes widen, and he opens his mouth but doesn‘t say anything. He is in shock. (Y/n) likes him but is too shy to talk to him; just like Poe himself. He stands up but gets stopped by his droid who starts beeping aggressively. Again and again beebee hits his body against Poes legs.
“Forget it! Forget it! I promised (Y/n) not to tell you all this! She will be mad at me and never again make me a flower crown!“
Poe ignores the beeping of his droid and leaves his room, looking for (Y/n). He doesn‘t know what he is going to do when he finds her, but he just wants to see her right now, even if it‘s just a glimpse of her.
Beebee follows him as fast as possible but not too fast because he doesn‘t want to lose his flower crown.
Outside, the famous pilot lets his gaze wander all over the jungle. He can see (Y/n) nowhere.
“If you are looking for my daughter, she went to the x-wings“, a female voice rips Poe out of his thoughts and as he turns around, he comes face to face with the general herself. She is smiling at the pilot, probably knowing about the feelings her daughter has for him. She probably knows about his feelings too, however she figured it out.
“Thank you, general“, Poe says as he starts walking to the x-wings, followed by his droid who finally has caught up with him.
Deeper in the jungle, on a clearing all of the x-wings are and on one a person is lying - (Y/n). Quickly, beebee is passing his friend and rolling over to the female. He starts beeping unstoppable and fast.
“Hey, little bee“, the woman greets the droid and slowly sits up, looking at her white and orange friend, still wearing the flower crown she made. She smiles at the droid.
Poe watches them from afar but then finds the courage to walk further towards them. (Y/n) looks up and stares at him in shock. She had a blade of grass between her teeth which is now falling to the ground.
“Commander Dameron“, she says with a slightly shaking voice and lets her legs swing from the edge of the wing she is sitting on.
“Call me Poe. Mind if I join you?“, Poe says charmingly even though his heart stopped beating moments ago, and he can‘t breathe correctly. (Y/n) nods and the pilot walks past his still beeping droid and climbs the wing, sitting down next to the woman. They are sitting close so that their arms are touching but not too close.
“Calm down, little bee. It‘s okay“, (Y/n) says because she didn‘t understand a word the droid said since he arrived at the x-wing. Mostly because of Poe but also because of the quick words beebee is throwing at her.
“You call him little bee?“, Poe asks with a smile on his lips as he watches his loyal droid fall silent. The female next to him lowers her eyes to the ground, starts biting her lip and nods.
“I call him beebee“, the pilot confesses and finally, (Y/n) looks up and their eyes meet. Once again Poe feels the urge to wrap his arms around her body and touch, kiss and feel her. The man smiles shyly.
Beebee starts beeping and both on the wing stare at the droid in utter shock.
“Hey, don‘t use such words in front of a lady, beebee“, Poe says and looks with an apologizing face at the woman next to him.
“I mean he is not wrong. We should stop hesitating“, (Y/n) says with shiny eyes. Her face, no her whole body, moves closer to Poe. The man can feel her breath on his lips and can‘t move until he feels her soft lips on his own. This is a dream come true for him. Her lips are as soft as he imagined, hell, they are even softer.
Poe places one of his hands at the back of her neck, fingers wandering into her hair. (Y/n)s hands find their right place on the pilots cheeks as they kiss.
Their lips move like two lovers dancing close which is exactly what the two of them are. They are lovers finally touching each other and it sets a fire inside their bodies.
The soft and sweet kiss ends but the two of them stay close. Their foreheads touch, and they look into each other's eyes, losing themselves in the other one.
Beebee utters a small beep and Poe as well as (Y/n) look at him. He starts rolling in a circle and beeping even more, he looks happy.
The lovers laugh, then turn back to each other, showing the other how much they love them with another loving kiss.
#poe dameron#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron oneshot#poe dameron one shot#poe dameron x you#poe dameron fluff#star wars#bb8#poe dameron x solo!reader#soft!poe dameron x reader
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sorry seems to be the hardest word {poe x reader}
summary: with the war over, poe has a little too much time to think. more specifically, he has too much time to think about you.
warnings; swearing, angst (but eventual fluff!)
i have a lecture at 9am and here i am at 2am, producing this shit content for u all. enjoy xx
- jazz
You passed each other in the hallway sometimes.
Nobody would have known. Not a single person would have guessed that behind your professional nods and quick glances, that years of history lay untouched between the two of you. Early mornings, filled with rays of pink and yellow sunshine, fingers dancing across bare skin and as you laughed together, revelling in nothing but the highs of pure love. Then there had been the nights; they were undeniably colder, a shadow cast over the galaxy as the darkness forced people to face the horrors of war. You couldn’t see anything, not even a foot in front of you – but you could reach your hand out, and you knew that Poe Dameron would take it. He was there. He was always there.
And then he wasn’t.
You knew it wasn’t his fault, nor was it yours. The Resistance needed both of you, but he’d been the one to call the shots on your relationship – and it had only been a matter of time, really. It was clear that things were going to come to head eventually and Poe had been the one to pull the trigger. You were important to him – perhaps the most paramount thing in his life – but none of it would have mattered if you lost the war. Secretly, he kind of hoped that he could just put a pin in it for later and win you back when the galaxy wasn’t batshit crazy.
Later was now. Poe was a general – your boss, actually – and you were a commander for one of the New Republic fleets. He saw you ten or twenty times a day in passing, chattering with your squad or delivering mission reports. Everything he loved about you was still there; your poise, your professionalism, your biting tongue and wit. And yet, all he got these days was a curt nod or a hope you’re doing well, general.
To give credit where credit was due, Poe had tried to get your attention. He’d made many attempts to win you back without ever actually saying it: you were the first person he promoted after the war, and you always got the good missions. He never chased you up for paperwork and surely, you must have noticed that you were always assigned the most high-tech jets. It felt as though he were screaming into the void, throwing out everything he could and hoping that you would get the message.
But you never did. Or, if you did get it, you were ignoring it. Your icy demeanour never changed, nor did your attitude towards him. Poe witnessed you in action every day – in the air and on the ground, with blasters and with words – and with each passing one, he was certain that he was still in love with you. His distance from you was simply a reminder that he’d hurt you, as though to say congrats, you fucked up! Nice one, asshole.
That brings us to now: specifically, early on a Tuesday morning, outside of your office. Poe, having reached breaking point, finally decided that he was just going to straight up tell you – or maybe he was asking you. Whatever it was, he knew that he had to get his feelings off his chest. If the war had taught him anything, it was that there was no time to roll over and let things pass. Even if you rejected him entirely, at least he could walk away knowing he’d tried.
Taking a deep breath, Poe raised his hand and knocked on your door twice. He knew that your schedule that day was clear – he’d made sure it was. You’d found it a little suspicious that your usual weekly meeting had suddenly been moved but you hadn’t questioned it. You were already running around doing a thousand different things.
‘One second!’ You called. There was a light shuffling sound, and after the fall of your boots against the ground, you swung the door open. ‘Poe – hi! General Dameron, sorry.’
‘I hate when you call me general.’ Poe groaned. (You found that to be quite ironic, because there had been many times when he’d demanded that you call him that – but that probably wasn’t relevant. Moving on.)
‘Right.’ You raised an eyebrow. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Can we talk?’
‘We’re talking now.’
‘That’s not what I….’ his eyes fell to the floor. For someone who was usually so confident, he’d certainly lost his swagger. ‘Can I just come in?’
You stepped aside, gesturing for Poe to come inside. Your office was quintessentially you; organised, but homely. You had a neat stack of papers on your desk and a few photos lining the walls. Most of them were of you with your friends; you and Rose at Canto Bight, you and Snap beside his X-Wing, you and Leia laughing together. His favourite one, however, was one of you and him with Rey and Finn; it had been taken on Hoth, and you were all bundled up beside Threepio, who was wearing a beanie you had terribly knitted. It had been one of the hardest weeks the Resistance had seen, but you were all stood there with your arms linked, smiling at the camera despite everything.
You were the only thing that had got Poe through the war. He knew it then and he certainly knew it now.
‘You’re in luck.’ You said, dropping into your desk chair. ‘My morning meeting got cancelled.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ Poe sat opposite you. ‘I was the one who moved it.’
You thinned your eyes at him. ‘Why?’
‘Because…look, I’m just gonna give it to you straight.’ He rested his palms on the table in front of you. ‘I’ve been trying for months to get your attention. I’ve been giving you the best missions and the best jets and Finn has been on my ass about it but I was hoping it might get you to look at me.’
‘Poe, I-‘
‘- I know, it’s stupid.’ He continued. He rambled when he was nervous. ‘I thought that it might get you to talk to me again.’
‘I…’ you couldn’t quite find the words. ‘I’m not ignoring you. I’m just treating you like a colleague.’
‘And that’s the worst part!’ Poe shot back. ‘Because…we’re not just colleagues. Every time I look at you, I remember how you used to make me feel and it’s fucking killing me.’
You peered up at him, a small sigh escaping your lips. ‘The promotion.’
‘What?’
‘Was that because I deserved it or because you were trying to win me back?’
‘Shit.’ Poe murmured, heading dropping into his hands.
‘Poe.’ You leant forward, practically growling his name.
‘You know I wouldn’t do that.’ He pushed his hair back, brown eyes finally meeting yours. ‘You deserved that more than anyone.’
‘This is fucking crazy.’ You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. ‘You broke my heart six months ago and now you’re here, in my office at 7am, telling me that what I thought was just my good luck has been entirely your doing.’
‘I didn’t know what else to do.’ Poe admitted. ‘I just…I am so fucking in love with you. Hurting you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.’
You didn’t mean to falter. It was just that you’d been longing to hear him say for it so long and you hadn’t even realised it. In forcing yourself not to think about him, you hadn’t taken a moment to think about the possibility of getting back together. You didn’t want to let your mind wander in that direction, especially after all the hurt you’d felt the first time.
And now, he’d come in all guns blazing. Classic Poe, really.
‘So why did you do it?’ You quietly asked. ‘Why did you end it in the first place if you’re so in love with me?’
‘I was scared.’ Poe admitted. ‘I felt so helpless that ending it myself made me feel like I had some kind of control.’
‘Hey, Poe?’
He looked up, eyes suddenly full of hope. ‘Yeah?’
‘That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.’
And then he deflated.
‘I know.’
You shook your head, giving him a small smile. ‘I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you too.’ He said. ‘So much. I know I see you every day but…I want to be with you. Those weird nods in the hallway and sideways glances just don’t quite do it for me.’
Your initial reaction had been to jump at the chance – to leap across the table and take your lips in his, making up for months of lost time there and then. On the other hand, you had to be realistic. He’d hurt you before and by taking him back, you were giving the power to do it all over again. That was a level of trust you weren’t sure you were ready for.
But it was Poe. It was your Poe – and you knew that no matter what had happened, his intention had never been to hurt you. Rather, it had been to protect you. It was a decision he’d made in catastrophically poor judgement, but the war had made everyone do stupid things. You hadn’t made it out the other side without your fair share of embarrassing stories.
If you did give him another chance – and if it went well? You could have everything. You’d have Poe by your side again (not that he’d ever really left). The future you used to talk about as a distraction from the war could become a reality. You could have your partner-in-crime back, your ride or die.
All it took was you overlooking the fact he’d hurt you.
Slowly reaching your hand out towards his, you intertwined your fingers with Poe’s. They still fit perfectly; warm and snug, as familiar as though you’d been holding one another just yesterday.
‘Dinner. Tomorrow night.’ You said.
Poe jolted up in his seat. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Dead serious.’ You shot back. ‘I’m…I’m a little hesitant, but I know you didn’t mean to hurt me the way you did.’
‘I could never hurt you intentionally.’ His grip on your hands tightened. ‘That doesn’t change the fact I did but I promise – I swear on everything I have – that this will be worth it.’
You gave him a watery smile. ‘I know.’
link to the discord server
#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron angst#poe dameron fluff#poe x reader#poe imagine#poe angst#poe fluff#star wars x reader#star wars imagine#star wars fanfic#star wars fluff#star wars angst
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Alderaanian Tragedy || P.D.
Warnings: Mentions of ecstasy (in the song), mention of getting drunk
Word Count: 1.8k
The story as to how you ended up in the middle of a cantina on Ajan Kloss, dancing with the love of your life, foreheads pressed together while laughing, still high from the first two kisses just a mere few hours after the war of your generation ended.
[A/N]: i said i would write it 😌 NO THIS IS NOT ANGST I PROMISE!! it’s based off of the song “greek tragedy” which’s remix went viral on tiktok lately—if you’re gonna listen to it while reading the story, please do not listen to the remix because that’s the complete opposite of the original 😭 And yes if like five of the words seem changed I did change a few lyrics to fit the universe better!!
Poe.
That was the only person you wanted to find when you landed—everyone else could wait. Rey, Finn, L’ulo, Rose—they all could wait.
The love of your life couldn’t.
Maybe it was the absolute high you were still riding from watching all those allies drop out of hyperspace. Maybe it was relief about the war you’d been fighting for for nearly half a decade finally being over. Maybe it was fear of how many blasts had barely missed your X-Wing that last battle. Or maybe, just maybe, it was just exhaustion of keeping the secret for so long. But you needed to tell him.
After all, you had no excuses now.
We’re fighting in a war.
We can’t risk being distracted.
What if something happens to one of us?
It’s not a good time.
If he doesn’t feel the same, we won’t be able to work together anymore.
No. None of that. All those “excuses” went down with the dreadnoughts on Exegol.
You’re too lost in your thoughts to even be actively looking for him, just wandering through the crowd of ecstatic rebels because you know the moment you see his eyes, you’ll be racing toward him.
And you’re damn right.
You run into his arms so hard that you knock the breath out from your own lungs—forget about his. You know he’s saying something, you just can’t hear it over the rebels’ cheers and your own sobs. It’s practically impossible to get out of his grip, but once you do, you press your forehead so hard against his that it hurts, laughing through your tears, his face cupped in your hands and vice versa—you swear to the Maker you would’ve kissed him right then and there had Rey and Finn not nearly tackled you both to the ground with a hug.
Nobody says a thing for who knows how long—the silence in between the four of you is more than enough. Once the four of you pull apart, it takes mere seconds for you all to break out in laughter after seeing the fatigue on everyone’s faces. Nevertheless, the flyboy has something else on his mind.
“We’re definitely getting drunk tonight, right?”
“I thought we were dressing cute—” you blurt out, looking at your black skater dress and Finn’s collared shirt before seeing Poe in his signature tank top-half flightsuit and Rey in one of her regular sleeveless tunics and a jacket.
“I thought we were dressing homeless…”
“I was just too tired to change out of my flightsuit.” Finn snickers and you just roll your eyes, fighting back a smile (and failing, obviously). “It doesn’t matter, really. I look hot either way.” He sends a wink your way which you hope looks like you blatantly disregarded it—because your mind certainly didn’t.
“Don’t get too cocky, Dameron.”
Making your way down to the cantina, you can’t help but let your mind wander a little because of how flirtatious Poe is being. Sure, he was always flirty little shit, but something about this was… different.
Probably just the weight of the war off his shoulders, you tell yourself.
But that couldn't be the only thing. There had to be something else.
This. This is what you hated about being a rebel—were you still a rebel if the war was over? That’s beside the point—the hope. The hope is what you hated. Rebellions were built on hope. As long as there was hope, a rebel would keep fighting. No matter how improbable or impossible, even, the situation was, a rebel wouldn’t give up on it. It’s the only reason the Rebellion won the war, really.
And you’ve told yourself more times than you can count that work’s ideology should stay in work’s life. A motto that outrageous doesn’t just transfer over to a, well, to any love life. You’ve talked yourself down in your quarters, the hangar, your X-Wing, a fucking dreadnought, and even this cantina where you’re sitting right now.
Your heart just wouldn’t listen.
“This song—hell yes!” Poe’s excited yells pull you out of your thoughts, and it takes you a few seconds to realize that Alderaanian Tragedy is playing. “C’mon flygirl, get up! Let’s dance!”
“Flygirl?” you don’t hesitate to question the nickname—not that you were complaining, no. The opposite, really. “Since when has that been my thing?”
“Since I said so.”
“Oh really?”
“Mhm. I practically own the brand. I say what goes.” You nod teasingly but don’t budge, earning a groan from him. “Fine. You made me do this, then.” He grabs your hand and pulls you out of the booth with a surprised yelp from you. You reach a hand out to Finn and Rey but Finn just waves you off and Rey blows you a kiss, winking. Sighing, you decide to accept your fate, catching up to Poe so he doesn’t have to drag you through the crowd anymore.
“We’re smashing mics in karaoke bars…”
“Are you really going to pull us into the middle?” you yell over the pumping music, barely even being able to hear yourself.
“Is this your first time meeting me?”
“You’re running late with half your makeup on…”
Poe comes to a stop and grabs your other hand, beginning to sway to the music. You’re still a bit reluctant, which earns you a pout from him. Maker, not the damn pout.
“This method acting might pay our bills…”
You smile just the tiniest bit at remembering how much you loved this song—Poe’s grin when he sees that you’re having fun makes you start giggling almost uncontrollably.
“But soon enough, there’ll be a different role to fill…”
You sing along, finally starting to let yourself loosen up and have some fun, which makes Poe happier than he’s been in a long time.
“I love this feeling, but I hate this part…”
Poe sings along with you, giving you a little “Yeah!” of encouragement at the end.
“I wanted this to work so much, I drew our plans in the stars…”
You swear you see him point to you both before pointing up at the ceiling like you could see the stars—damn this dim lighting. Did you just imagine it, or did Poe really make that verse about the two of you—?
“Speeders are flipping, I’m in hot pursuit…”
He grabs your waist and twirls you into his chest—you swear your heart stops right then and there.
“My character’s strong, but my head is loose.”
He rolls his head back and sticks his tongue out at you—as stupid as it may be, you laugh. The bass of the beats start shaking the floor, and you both look at each other like you know what to do next.
“She hits like ecstasy…”
You’re jumping like crazy with your hands on Poe’s shoulders, laughing gleefully and letting your hair whip around without a care in the galaxy.
“Comes up and bangs the sense out of me…”
He’s singing along now, and as loud of the music may be, you can hear him—you’re closer and honestly? He’s louder. Like the song means something to him.
No, he’s just enjoying the night. Stop being a romantic for once.
“The tarot cards say it’s not that bad, the blades rotate there’s just no landing pad…”
Dramatically falling back with full faith that Poe will catch you—which he does—you try to stop yourself from thinking about how deep you are in your love for him. Dancing like this, it’s not… It’s not how best friends dance. There shouldn’t be this much tension, and there sure as hell shouldn’t be this much meaning.
“And better have said it, but darling you’re the best…”
You mouth the last four words—as does he—and pointedly tap his nose, as if to solidify that you were talking about him.
“I’m just tired of falling up the Penrose steps…”
He slows down a little bit and you gladly oblige, a little bit out of breath yourself as well.
“I hate this feeling, but I love this part…”
You let your arms drape over his shoulders, feeling like he was trying to tell you something. You look into his eyes but you can’t read them because of the lack of light—you swear you see a shimmer or a sparkle somewhere in there, though…
“She really wants to make it work, and I clearly want to let it start…”
One of his hands travels up your back while the other tucks a loose strand of your hair back in place—the simple motion setting off that Maker-damned fizzing feeling in your stomach again.
“We’ll build a podracer as soon as I get home…”
Your hands switch positions from over his shoulders to holding his face—were you two getting closer? You honestly couldn’t handle the suspense.
Fuck it.
“Oh and she hits like ecstasy…”
Your veins throb and you swear your heart explodes as your lips crash into his, which he gladly welcomes. He’s everywhere, up your back, your neck, your hair, and suddenly, he’s kissing you harder, deeper, with some sort of urge that you’ve never known before. It’s dizzying, because you feel the same thing—you’ve never wanted anyone like this before. Ever. In this moment, all you wanted was Poe. You want him closer, closer, closer, even though he can’t get any closer. Maybe time stopped when your lips met his.
“Comes up and bangs the sense out of me…”
You don’t want to break the kiss—in fact, you want to let it go on forever—but you need a second to think without his lips on yours.
Did you really just kiss him?
Poe Dameron?
The love of your life?
And he’d kissed you back?
“It’s wrong, but surely worse to leave…”
You’re searching his face for answers and he seems to be doing the same—that is, until, you both come to the conclusion that another kiss is probably the answer.
“She hits like ecstasy…”
It still isn’t clear whether or not you’d just dreamed this moment into real life, but there was something about the way he was gripping onto you. Something that screamed “I’m never going to let you go. I’m never going to let you go. I’m never going to let you go.” And honestly? You didn’t want him to.
“So free up the cheaper seats…”
Even though you’re too out of breath for kissing, you still need to be as close to him as possible—thus being the last detail of the story as to how you ended up in the middle of a cantina on Ajan Kloss, dancing with the love of your life, foreheads pressed together while laughing, still high from the first two kisses just a mere few hours after the war of your generation ended.
“Here comes an Alderaanian Tragedy.”
Masterlist
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Permanent: @becausewhyknotme, @browneyedhimbo, @theladyoffangorn, @officialtonystarkprotectionsquad, @justmebeingtheweirdmeiam, @fantasticcopeaglepasta, @talk-geek-to-me, @letsmellowjello, @thescarletknight2014, @bbluespiritzuko, @brooklynsmorales, @poe-djarin, @marvelinsanity, @softly-sad, @yourbucky084, @mcolbz14, @houseofthirst, @arkofblake, @asianravenpuff
Star Wars: @kittyofalltrades, @m1rkw00dpr1ncess, @propertyofdindjarin, @coldbreadbouquetworld, @melvls, @thedevilwearsbeskar, @agentshortstacc
Poe Dameron: @poe-damnnn-eron, @lapilark, @peterhollandkait, @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol, @twomoonstwosuns, @lady-sloan, @poes-stardust, @legamelo, @xremember-me-notx, @imtheoutgoingsidekick-baby, @yourbucky084, @agents-assemble, @daydreamerinadazedworld, @darthadeline, @roserrys, @fandom-addict-aesthetics
Story Tag: @permanentmess
#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x you#poe dameron x y/n#poe dameron fic#poe dameron imagine#star wars fic#star wars imagine#my writing
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