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warpedpuppeteer · 11 days

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It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.

Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.

Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.

Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.

Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.

We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.

Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:

Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).

Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).

The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).

Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).

Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).

Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.

It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽

And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.

#character meta #relationship meta #think whatever you want it's up to you #but narratively tommy is a plot device #there's no if's or but's about it #I'm saying it like it is #the parallels between Buck's LIs and Eddie is insane #i just thought about making one about it since we mostly talk about how Buck fills all the things Eddie needs in a partner #this is my interpretation of how they've basically written themselves into a corner and the only possible way to go forward is with Buddie #doing anything else is a disservice to the characters and narrative so far #as Tim said #it's only natural and this is it #buck and eddie just naturally embody the ideal partner for each other #tim minear if you make me go through another destiel i will actually personally come and eat your kneecaps i can't do it anymore bro #it's literally all there!!#it's a masterpiece #i don't trust you enough but in Oliver ryan and jlh i trust #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #911 spoilers #I'm too lazy to tag all the characters because they're unimportant #the entire point of the post is Buck's LI vs Eddie anyways #so there

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demigod-of-the-agni · 11 months

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The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.

I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay

#IT'S VENOM BAYBEE #i can't confirm nor deny if pavitr ever ends up wearing the symbiote- sorry. the demon #i honestly just wanted to get something out lmao #it's eating me up from the inside (the au and the symbiote)#honestly there's a lot of white but fuck it. my boy needs to look good.#the dhoti reminds me of gwenom tbh. you know what i'm talking about. that pink bit in her 'fit #anyway i TOLD YOU the mythology was coming in like a boss >:)#sure i'm tweaking stuff here and there. but mwahaha.... boy does it feel good when mythology actually gets what i'm trying to go for #and spits something out for me to use :D #(crying for hours on end trying to figure out how the black goop does its thing)#anyway nearly 12am. this time i will tag my shit correctly 😤 we will not have a thompson/travasso incident again #pavitr prabhakar #spider man india #spiderman india #venom symbiote #venom #spider man fanart #mythic mumbattan au #myart #artoftheagni

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fictionadventurer · 4 months

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How did Treasure Planet manage to come up with the greatest aesthetic in all human history? Victorian elegance plus space-age flair, with just enough dirt and grime and wear and tear to make it feel real? A combination of traditional and computer animation that perfectly embodies the movie's blend of old and futuristic? How does it get any better than that?

#treasure planet #turned it on on a whim #because sylvia's lovers put me in the mood for sailing ship vibes #and it turns out it fits in really well with the north and south space opera i've been thinking about again #it's really hard for me not to give thornton a giant beautiful space sailing ship #(no you can't do it! the point is that they're industrial and purely functional!)#also i've got another post brewing about how treasure planet is an excellent boy's adventure coming-of-age story #and we need more of those because i feel like the genre doesn't exist in the same way these days #but i'm not sure i could say what i mean without getting folks up in arms #so i'm keeping it to the tags

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amelia-yap · 4 months

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through the heart!

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eastgaysian · 6 months

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i loved you so much it was making me sick

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb fanart #rvb tex #agent texas #rvb church #leonard church #freshly minted #me fighting for my life trying to figure out what tags people use. ok.#anyway the relevance of going to scotland to this moment or this art is questionable at best but u just need to trust in my beautiful mind #what i was mostly thinking about is what tex would look like. and then what epsilon tex specifically would look like. and coming to the #conclusion that i dont think i will ever come up with a face for her. always just a hint of something blurred through the glass.#i love you deadalive nothing girl who isn't.

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pineapple-frostyfruits · 11 months

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Happy disability pride to everyone whose disability makes it hard/impossible for them to leave the house.

Happy disability pride to everyone who WANTS to do something they love, but can't because of their disability.

Happy disability pride to everyone who has ever been ignored, side-eyed or scoffed at (or otherwise judged) for being themselves in public.

Happy disability pride to people in constant pain, that doesn't end or break.

Happy disability pride to people who can't/don't want an official diagnosis because it would fuck up their lives, but they need the accommodations anyway.

Happy disability pride to people who did get/have gotten/had to get a diagnosis, because they needed what came from it.

Happy disability pride to the under-represented disabilities that people don't talk about much, or that get ignored both online and IRL.

Happy disability pride to those whose disabilities get represented in ways that do not match your experience at all.

Happy disability pride to the physically and mentally disabled people who are reading this. If you are one, the other, or (more often) both, you are still a valid person who faces discrimination and hardship from ableists, and we must all band together to vouch for our rights- ALL of our rights.

Happy disability pride to all of you, I love you all, and may we get through this month, and all the rest, together.

#disability pride month #disability pride #actually disabled #I have both:#chronic pain #cane user #and also:#actually autistic #(I wanted those tags to come up so I formatted it weird. sorry)#I hope this reaches you #and makes you feel seen and loved and happy #at least a little bit #to me you are all my siblings and we need to ALL stand together to survive

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capricioussun · 6 days

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2am post jumpscare

#found this and wanted to clean it up rq lol #these guys don’t deserve it ✌️😔#well probably idk #idk anything abt dream just that ppl either make him super effeminate or a horrible person a lot #<- tapping on the door of sans peoples club #do you guys even like him or #/j #except for sunny he seems nice :*)#but man when it comes to the others it 100% feels like ‘well this story/fic/comic needs a villain sooo’#like. I’m not a shooter for sf sans at all but like. ppl don’t even bother making him a sans most of the time it’s like they just turn him #into some anime villain or smth. what to hell #and do NOT even get me started on uf Papyrus Chara and Flowey I will chew through concrete #snow and hail #undertale #underfell #swapfell #undertale dream #is his AU just called dreamtale I genuinely don’t know #I think so #underfell papyrus #flowey #chara #undertale chara #undertale flowey #swapfell sans #god I am NOT used to tagging so many characters #bye

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fumifooms · 10 months

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Chilchuck Tims has 4 daughters

Izutsumi’s relationship with the whole party is very fun and heartwarming, and her relationship with each party member has something unique and special, but besides Senshi being the mama hen I really love how Chilchuck looks after Izutsumi in a father-ish way. He’s the only one in the party that sees her like an actual human girl lol. He treats her with respect while not letting himself be walked over, and I think there’s something to be said about it, esp since Chilchuck knows how it’s like to be infantilized and pet like a cute thing much like our favorite catgirl. He does handle her like a guy who has 3 adult daughters, parenting instincts kicking in

Listen I knooow the party is breaking up with the end approaching but I’ve been thinking a lot about if Izutsumi decided to stick with anyone and I think it’d be really nice if she stayed with Chilchuck. I love Chilchuck’s store so much, I have so many headcanons and fic plans involving it, but listen. I feel like Chilchuck would be a good person to look after her, she’s still a teen and shown not to be mature enough to know what to do with herself and feed herself right yet, she could become Chilchuck’s store mascot like a cat that’s always lounging inside hehe. He gains another sort-of-daughter and she keeps her favorite pillow, a loss-loss deal on his end but Chilchuck is too responsible to not take her in if needed mwahahaha Izutsumi would have no remorse, he’s ready to suffer for her comfort

Ok girl we get it he’s your dad

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #izutsumi #brotp #i’ve had this post in my drafts for months whatever I’ll come back if I find more moments #i wanna make a post about izutsumi laios moments too they’re so funny #laios is inutade except cat lover you can’t change my mind #this is a non-laios post ik but aorry my laios stan is coming out in the tags #i love how even the sleeping habits are so fleshed out #marcille is kinda like a surrogate mother to her now that i think of it parallels and whatnot omfg #i must stay cool and collected and not let my MarChil show #chil speaks to izutsumi with respect and no condescension and he understands her and ughhh i love them #I NEED THIS. I NEED MORE THEM.#not me looking up to Chilchuck like a father figure comforting to me too no hush #I keep editing in more panels I find help #Compilation #inexhaustive. Like there is so much of chil fathering izu out there

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wikiangela · 4 days

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thinking about buck and Tommy showing up to some firefam dinner/barbecue/some family event, someone notices a hickey peeking out from under Tommy's collar (or maybe there's one in a very visible, impossible to cover up with clothes place), someone makes some teasing joke/comment, buck goes all red but smiles proudly when Tommy grins and says 'yeah, someone got a little carried away last night' with a soft and playful look at buck, and Buck shrugs, says 'gotta make sure people know you're mine' and he leans in to kiss Tommy, just a chaste peck, and someone's like 'ew, get a room' and Buck chuckles and he's so happy to be able to just joke with his family and his boyfriend, and be so open and free about how in love he is, and Tommy's right next to him with his hand on Buck's knee under the table, and he's never been happier

#bucktommy headcanons #fic ideas #im so writing this #after *looks at my list of ideas* the 10 fics i already started lol #bucktommy #idk i cant stop thinking about them and coming up with new ideas for fics #i just think buck would be so openly happy and in love and his family would be so happy for him 🥹#is this even a headcanon idk tagging it like that anyway lol #listen if you've read any of my smut you know i have a thing for just a *hint* of possessiveness okay 🤣🤣🤣#really need to get around to finishing my first bucktommy smut lmao

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chichikoi · 2 months

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hiraeth.

part II. synopsis: she watches as cassian falls for another, grappling with her own hidden affections and their newly snapped mating bond in the process. pairing: cassian x fem!reader fandom: a court of thorns and roses (book series by sarah j maas) genre: angst warnings: none a/n: house of balloons/glass table girls, this is his song... i love him. fluff part two coming up OBVIOUSLY, im not fucking ending it like this i cant do this to my #1 loverboy babygirl kitty princess beloved. @joyseuphoria hi <3

Cassian had always been the beacon of power and resolve, with a demeanor rugged and unyielding. But beneath the surface was vulnerability, and she knew that it was written in the stars for her to remain by his side as his closest friend and confidante, never to become one to uncover that side of him.

But it didn’t make it easier. Watching him as he fell for Nesta’s every glance, every touch, every word that escaped her mouth seemed to throw him deeper and deeper into a trance. And she was fine with that, and accepted it. Accepted that she would never be the object of his softened glances, his featherlight touches, his-

Her thoughts halted as Cassian stormed into the room, frustration radiating off him in waves. She glanced up from her book, her eyes immediately catching the tension etched onto his features. Without a word, she closed her book and shifted, making room for him on the couch.

Cassian collapsed beside her, his movements rough yet familiar. He stretched out, his feet finding their place on her lap almost instinctively. Y/N didn't flinch; instead, she settled into the comfortable silence, waiting for Cassian to speak.

"It's Nesta," he finally muttered, his voice heavy with frustration. "Training with her…it was like walking on eggshells. One wrong move, and she was tearing into me with those ice-cold eyes."

She listened attentively, her gaze soft as she absorbed his words. "It was like she was always testing me," Cassian continued, his voice growing softer with each word. "Pushing me to my limits, making me question everything I thought I knew about myself."

Her fingers instinctively started to massage his feet as he spoke. It was a small gesture, one born out of years of friendship and trust. Cassian didn't protest; instead, he leaned back against the cushions, allowing the soothing touch to ease the tension from his muscles.

As the minutes stretched on, their conversation ebbed and flowed, the weight of Cassian's burdens slowly lifting with each passing moment. Y/N listened, offering words of comfort when needed, but mostly content to provide silent support.

Cassian's breathing eventually evened out, his body relaxing against the cushions. Y/N glanced down to find him fast asleep, his features softened by the serenity of slumber. She smiled softly, her heart swelling with affection.

Suddenly, chains, bolts, and locks shifted, loosening, their weight growing just a little more tolerable. A soul peeked through. Broken, scarred, and trembling — with fear, she realized, but it stretched further and further. Yearning, searching.

It was as though a tether had snapped into place, an invisible thread binding her to Cassian in a way she had never felt before. Confusion flickered as she processed the intensity of the connection, the undeniable pull drawing her closer to him.

She was aware that this was not happening in the slightest. A mind trick. A dream, she thought. betraying once, the jolt of real-time that pushed through her. Burning her cheeks and stealing her breath. How the waking world slipped past the knobby parts of her fingers like a whisper, barely there, because dreaming was just a fancier word for getting lost. It held her there, suspended in imagination and for every second, it felt real. Like she could grasp the outlines and the textures. Like she could touch the weather, drink the clouds, and taste the sunlight.

The gods who had her in a chokehold withdrew.

Death feared her too, it seemed.

He was soaring in the air, and she was on the ground. She tried to reach him but he was far, far out of her reach. Seconds ticked by, and then minutes, and every thought that tried to sneak its way in, through this thick veil, bounced off and dissipated into thin air.

Because she then remembered… that beautiful things shouldn’t be broken. And she had a knack for breaking things.

The soft rays of dawn streamed through the windows of the House of Wind, casting a warm glow over the sitting room where she and Cassian had fallen asleep. As she stirred from her slumber, she found herself alone on the couch, the imprint of Cassian's presence still lingering in the air. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, her mind foggy with the remnants of… dreams? Visions? She felt as though the very fabric of her existence had been torn asunder, leaving her adrift in a sea of uncertainty, but when has that ever stopped her?

So she stood on the ground and longed.

part II here >>

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pain-in-the-butler · 9 months

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A compilation of art for my Dadbastian fanfic Coattails that I commissioned from the incredibly talented @tomoyoo! They went above and beyond with the details... Each picture feels as cozy and warm as a storybook, right? I'm so delighted with how they turned out!! Thank you for making each one so beautiful! 🥹🥹🥹

#coattails #not sebaciel so please don't tag as such! thank you!#kuroshitsuji #the backgrounds are just gorgeous.. thank you for your research and dedication to them #the outfits in the first one are amazing! I love Ciel's shirt and Soma's whole ensemble is so cozy yet regal #look at Ciel in the cardigan in the third one though? he is cozy #the expressions are my favorite. they're so animated! just as I imagine them to be..#I really like Ciel's in the first pic because I imagined him looking annoyed but you actually made him seem curious #and I actually like that more I think it's cute... he really does want to be friends with Soma huh 🥺#Sebastian's expression in the third picture is great. >:o #he's about to throw hands with an old lady #Edward and Ciel's competitive faces! being silly... I love Them #Ciel needs to get swept up in silly competitions more often I think...#and then the last one!! bonding over tea! it's so amazingly tender 😭#I don't think I imagined it coming out so calming and gentle... it's so emotional #it makes me want to keep writing!#if you are a Coattails reader I hope you love these as much as I do!#and if you aren't a Coattails reader... maybe these will convince you to become one? 😏 because they are so full of personality!#thanks times a million tomoyoo!!#(I should wait till tomorrow to post but I want to do it now...)

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realbeefman · 8 months

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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping

#gave it my best shot for a minute there #really made an effort. its Not Working #see this is what happens when your sleep schedule is Fucked and you usually go to bed when the sun comes up #on a normal night id be jammin to tunes. scribbling with reckless abandon #tonight however i am at Someone Elses place so i need to be Quiet #i need to Sleep i am Driving tomorrow #brain wont cooperate tho. brains a bitch. id like to be unconchus #OH SHIT OH!!! I DO HAVE A JOKE I CAN MAKE BARNABY USE!!!#I HAVE A COUPLE OF OCEAN BASED ONES! FUCK!#sorry train of thought took a detour #im tired. today was mostly very good. had lots of Fun <3 #experienced something new! several somethings!!#and now im lamenting my wide-awakeness in a dark room #my hunting gathering badass self is Bored as Hell #and so: wally scribble of him sharing my woes #scribble salad #not gonna tag it as anything else

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reasonsforhope · 4 months

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Btw, if anyone cares to know, my position on Biden and the 2024 election is this:

Starting September* 1, 2024, I will be doing whatever I can to make sure that Trump does not get a second term as president

Until that day, I'm going to be doing whatever I can to push for an end to the genocide in Gaza and an immediate ceasefire, and that includes criticizing, protesting, and lambasting Biden for funding and providing weapons for Israel's genocide

ETA: I will still be posting about significant good things the Biden administration has done, though, because some of it is a really big deal that people deserve to know about

ETA: But I will not be defending Biden from any criticism around Palestine/Israel/war crimes

*This originally said October 1st but someone pointed out to me that there are a few states where early voting starts in late September, including a couple swing states, so I changed it because that's a very good point

I don't plan to tell anyone not to vote for Biden in the meantime, myself, because shitty two party system and I'm really serious about Trump not getting reelected

But I'm also not going to do anything to discourage people who are seriously rallying against Biden, because he is, you know, literally bypassing Congress to make sure he can fund crimes against humanity

I never want to diminish that reality.

And more than that: If we want genocide to actually be a dealbreaker for politicians and presidents... then we need to start acting like it could be.

--

Details/related thoughts:

I will still be posting about good things Biden and his administration are doing, because they are the ones running the US government and Congress is super deadlocked, so a lot of the national-level good news in the US has been done by his administration, and I'm not going to stop posting about that good news

Shout-out to the anon who accused me of being a US government propagandist with a whole PR team bc I posted about Biden a few days in a row. I promise you I'm blogging from my bed in my pjs and do not have a PR team lol

Also, for people who don't think we should be spreading serious criticism about Biden, for fear of Trump winning in 2024: I hear you--that's an incredibly valid fear. I've struggled with that myself, in the process of coming to this(/these) decision(s). But consider this: it's better that we really pile on the criticism and pressure now, because a) people are dying, and b) Biden's chances will be much worse if Israel is still bombing/decimating Gaza on election day

Relatedly, for anyone who's tempted to think Trump would be better when it comes to the Gaza genocide, again, it's really understandable to want to put your hope in any viable alternative. However, I promise you that is not going to happen. Joe Biden at least conditionally gives a couple shits about human life. Trump doesn't. Remember Trump's Muslim ban? In all likelihood, Trump would just tell Israel to bomb Gaza harder and ban Palestinian refugees from entering the US

Last thing on Trump: maybe this is naive of me, but for a lot of reasons, I'm not actually particularly worried about Trump winning in 2024. If I was, I might have made some different calls here. I have a few asks about this in my inbox and will probably make a post at some point about the reasons why, but yeah, Democrats have mostly been wanting to run against Trump instead of DeSantis or Haley or whoever for some very real reasons

You're welcome to disagree with me/this post in any direction, btw

Seriously, I'm just a random person who doesn't speak for anyone besides myself and my own blog. I'm not saying these are categorically the right answers, or that any of this is what everyone should be doing. This is simply the system I have settled on (right now) for how I personally want to handle all of this

You're welcome to disagree with me but please don't send me any angry asks about any of it. Not that I in any way get a lot of those, thankfully! But yeah, this isn't something I'm interested in debating, this is mostly for notification/explanation purposes

#palestine #cw war #cw genocide #us politics #biden #not news #me #reminder that all my posts related to the war/genocide are tagged as “palestine” and “cw war”#and if you need to filter reminders about all of this then you should #esp coming from you know a good news blog #Far better to engage with all of this news/info deliberately when/where you're in a place to handle it #then to keep spiraling and spiraling because it keeps surprising you in the middle of your dash #that's what I do actually I have several related tags filtered on here #and then when I'm up for it I go read a bunch of news articles and look up protest listings #and you know actually go to protests or post about it on here etc. etc.

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hayaku14 · 1 month

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IDK WTF THIS CARD GAME IS ABOUT BUT I NEED IT IMMEDIATELY

#kaishin #kuroba kaito #kudou shinichi #detective conan #dcmk #kaitou kid #edogawa conan #kidco #kidshin #kaico #LOOK AT THEMMMMMN #MY BEAUTIFUL BOYSSSSSS #ALSO LOOK AT KAITO????#WHY HE EATING UP KAITOU KID LIKE THAT OMG????? GODDAMN PRETTY MOTHERFUCKER I WILL PAT HIS HEAD AND TUCK HIM UNTO BED UGHHHH #AND OOOOH SHINICHI MY BOY YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY WE LOST YOU BBY COME HOMEEEEE 😭😭😭😭#i love kidco so much like theyre so iconic look at themmmmm THEY'RE SO COOL AND LARGER THAN LIFE UGGHHHHH #i love them all your honor even though technically theres like only 2 people there but whatever #I LOVE THE OG LOVESQUARE BABEEEEYYY #need more stuff in the 'kuroba kaito doesnt know edogawa conan is kudou shinichi' tag just for the lovesquare shenanigans amirite 👉😏👉#dc prattles #btw sorry im so kaishin brainrd but if you look at the art for hakuba aoko and ran???? DAMN DCMK I AINT FORGIVING YALL WITH THAT M27 REVEAL #BUT YALL REALLY COOKED WITH THR ART IN THIS CARD GAME IMMA GIVE YOU THAT

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lovesickeros · 3 months

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☆ from gold, i am undone

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, implied self harm, implied suicide attempts {☆} word count 0.9k

You weren't meant to be here.

You can feel it in the marrow of your bones– it weighs you down like heavy shackles, gold bleeding from your pores until it is all you know. The taste of ichor on your tongue, the warmth of its invasion beneath your skin, that gleam of gold that lingers in the color of your eyes like specks of dust.

You are changed, and you are whole.

But you are so unbearably broken.

A shattered piece of porcelain hastily put back together with gold to fill the cracks.

Decoration, in the end, for you are not fit to walk as "mortals" do. This gold had filled every empty crevice of your body, spilled the red into your frantic hands and made you bleed so it's callous gold could make room inside your body. It has taken from you many things, given many more, but you scratch and bite and tear until it drips onto the floor and even then it never leaves. It stains the floor no matter how hard you scrub– a permanent reminder of the sickening gold that molds you into something that used to look like you– that does look like you. Desecrated, yet so horribly divine.

All you see is a monster.

Something new, something old.

A hollowed out shell, wounds left to rot and fester until you suited the image of the Creator they bore upon statues and murals, the Creator worshiped in prayers spoken in hushed whispers and joyous chants praising your magnificence.

But what magnificence is there in detachment? What joy is there to be found in carving a God out of a human? They kneel like lambs before the shepherd, but the flock has made you– and you want to unmake them. Unweave the tapestry of their being stitch by stitch until it all falls apart and the world knows the cost of casting molten gold into the shape of a human, knows the price that has been left unpaid.

You want to take it from them. Watch them squabble and pray, blind sheep stepping into the wolf's open maw– to tear the seams of their being until the world is unwound by your heavy hands.

But you know it will not satisfy you.

Nothing does anymore.

You are no wolf. Only the shepherd who guides.

And with every drop of blood spilled, they ripped the humanity from your very bones until your body was the cast in which they made something anew– something gold, something horrific. A monster as much a God, a beast as much a man.

There is nothing left but absolute authority.

You try again and again to mend this act of desecration, to peel back the outer shell and rend the gold from your marrow– but your body cannot, will not, die. It mends itself back into place no matter how damaged, and all you feel is the uncomfortable tug of your body forcing itself to live. You cannot die, but were you ever truly alive at all?

Yet with every cycle, you know only one constant besides the thrum of golden ichor in your veins– cold.

Ice that burns, ice that spreads and festers and devours. Claws that pull you apart until the gold runs thick, teeth that burrow into your bones and rip it out from the source..eyes that witness the fall of a God with reverence– hungering, all consuming reverence.

You welcome it.

It is the first time you felt pain since you were cast into an image of a being you were not meant to be. The sting of cold upon your skin makes you shiver, your body tries to reject it, but you want to welcome it– for a brief moment that lasts only as long as it takes for you to blink, you see the glint of something familiar in the reflection of her empty eyes. Something achingly, horribly familiar– something human, all the more terrifying for it.

Even when Teyvat itself crumples like paper beneath the weight of her sins – of this desecration anew, this wretched heresy – you allow her hands to do it again. You grasp her hands in yours like chains, willing her to shackle you, willing her to pull you apart and make you whole again. To break you until the gold cannot put you back together again.

You long, each time, for those eyes like spears that lodge into your skin– burrow deep and sting deeper, making gold flow like water. You long for the biting tongue, the cutting words and those teeth like weapons– long to see the spite and anger and impure disgust aimed at the woman of silver who leads you down a hall that ends only in damnation. You follow each time like the lamb led astray by the wolf, but you do not wail in betrayal when she sinks her teeth into your throat and devours you whole.

For is it a sin if you welcome it? Has their God sinned, in the eyes of the flock, for welcoming such heresy with open arms? For allowing the wolf into their home?

Is it a sin to be broken beneath the only hands that have loved you?

Is it a sin to want to love, too, those hands and teeth stained in gold?

Then you shall be damned, you swear it. Damned, but gold no more.

For death is the closest you have ever felt to being human.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #tsaritsa #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #tsaritsa x reader #this is. technically not a sequel but not a prequel but a secret third thing (mental health crisis)#kidding i just wanted 2 write the prev fic from more reader oriented pov bc it wasnt fucked up enough!!!!!#i need fucked up reader who is irreparably changed in horrifying ways!!!!!! and they cant die bc teyvat kinda needs them 2 uh #exist at all. and if u die well thats it. hits reset button #the horrifying fate of a mortal forced to be a god against their will and all the drawbacks that come with it #where is love to be found when they all cannot see themselves as anything but beneath you? there will always be imbalance #oh they try. they claw and scramble and beg but being the creator has changed you.#none of their worship. none of their sacrifices and gifts and pleas make you feel a thing and what a haunting thing it must be #do they reject it? delude themselves into thinking that they must try harder?#or do they accept that this is a god? absolute. horrifying in its entirety. something that even the archons cannot truly understand #a manmade god who seeks absolution in only the most heretical. the most blasphemous #literally shaking chewing on the bars of my cage LET ME OUT #i love deep dives like this sorry 2 everyone i made think i was normal my bad #i just think immortality and godhood r funky concepts and i love making them WORSE #also this took so long because i was playing b@Idurs g@t3 3 erm. censored so it doesnt show up in tags PLEASE DONT SHOW UP IN TAGS #taking i need the tsaritsa to bite me to a whole new entirely worse level!!#i just think (starts talking for 5 hours straight and doesnt Shut Up)#this one is also. considerably more openly fucked up then the other fic. even if its hidden behind flowery language uh. take it seriously.#okay im done no more angst its fluff from here on out i need 2 be NORMAL. i am a normal well functioning adult. maybe.

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