official name for the fic I'm working myself up to write is Wormwood

future ishimiko au doodles. below the cut are my extensive thoughts about these and context. there should be captions on these images as well

these are transcriptions of my handwritten notes on my ipad from finals season edited for clarity + some additional rambling. these are subject to change and the art is from varying times this past spring + summer. this is mostly my mindless self indulgence and “ishimiko but if i did it” - see an ask i answered for character bingo for my other thoughts on ishimiko but if i did it for their high school dynamic/what i wish their themes were - this is mostly about the future

- they are in their mid to late twenties in this au and did not become romantically involved at all in high school, miko kept her feelings to herself and they eventually faded as they got older, they continue to be on stuco together and go to different universities and graduate on good terms but the friendship fades with time and distance

- miko studied law > became a lawyer > specializes in representing children in court, i think this would be good for her.

- ishigami studied econ & business in university > did not like it but finished his degree > took over his mother’s flower shop and enjoys it immensely, makes small clay/wood carving trinkets to sell as well

- i think they would benefit from becoming good friends at the end of high school and reconnecting later after some time apart. with the distance from high school they will be able to tell each other about their stupid middle school and high school selves with some emotional distance, and be able to completely reveal what they tried to do for each other and be able to laugh about it. i want them to be more mature when they date...

- personality differences!!! miko is better at taking compliments and is generally more pokerfaced and is better at understanding situations with more nuance, she has come to terms with her sexuality and i interpret her as bi ^_^, ishigami has gotten more expressive overtime and as a result is now worse at taking compliments. he has also generally mellowed out more and holds less gamer rage in his heart

- visual differences!!! miko cut her hair short for ease. she has glasses!!!!!!!!! this is a shirogane parallel and also just makes sense i think. ishigami grows out his hair and he already dresses kind of androgynous outside of school i think he would just do that even more so. (spins my wheel of various ishigami gender interpretations and makes my au possible for every variant on the wheel) also i forgot to draw glasses on miko for a lot of these oops

- i think maybe they could be long distance discord friends throughout university as well. but i think it would be interesting to have them separated for a bit and later work in the same area and reconnect by chance

- i understand why a lot of media is like this but i just dont think a friend group from high school can sprout three long term “endgame” relationships  (kaguprez and wishful thinking hayachika) they need some time to be alone and explore who they are without each other around i think.. especially when you are as scrambled as ishimiko and you go to an elite private high school

- i dont think they would have kids really miko would be busy and doesnt want to subject her own childhood to another child and ishigami would likely not feel confident in raising a child. they probably will like be in their 40s playing video games together lol.

- maybe they would have chickens and a garden but this is mostly me being self indulgent. i just like giving my favorite characters chickens

those are most of my thoughts for now ! i came up with a lot of this as a last ditch attempt to keep me sane and tethered to this earth during finals season if that explains anything.

Jr year baby!

god I'm so fucking furious at the removal of Te Reo Māori names from organisations around Aotearoa. it's a complete non-issue, every organisation has the English name directly underneath the Māori name. I have never once as an English speaker been unable to understand what an organisation is for. Winston Peters, the Deputy Prime Minister, who is literally Māori himself, said “Te Papa is a historic name but tell me this waka kotahi, how many boats have you seen going down the road?”. Waka does not just mean canoe. it means vessel, and waka kotahi (the transport agency of Aotearoa) explains this VERY SIMPLY on their official website. waka kotahi means to travel together as one. Can you see how fucking upsetting this is. A Māori person in power who is in agreement about banning his own language, being so cocky about something that he does not even understand due to the suppression of the language of his people. It makes me sick. I've seen reports from Māori people all over Aotearoa speaking out about how upset and furious they are, how decades of progress have been undone in the fight to restore the rights of their people who have for so long been oppressed and have suffered the effects of colonisation. Please share this if you can, I hate knowing how few people will hear about this, I know there is so much injustice in the world right now and it is so exhausting, I know. I love you all, keep it up.

https://waateanews.com/2023/11/27/te-reo-public-service/

he won

bonus:

pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week

we’re making it to 1k with this one 💯

You, and not the state of you

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

I forgot how coloring works today, so I‘ll try again tomorrow 🎨

the past vs the present vs hat guy

Been seeing this headcanon on twitter that hua cheng's true form is actually terrifying but since xie lian is a fool in love all we see in his perspective is a really handsome guy

[ID in plain and alt text: 2 page comic strip of xie lian and hua cheng.

Xie lian stands in front of hua cheng with a bright smile, saying to the camera "Isn't my husband the cutest?". Behind him, hua cheng is drawn in an analog horror-like fashion with dark shadows covering most of his body. One eye opens eerily at the viewer.

Same pose as the first page except xie lian slightly turns behind him to smile widely at hua cheng, eyes closed. Hua cheng also slightly turns to him with his eye closed and small blush marks drawn on his face. 3 floating hearts are drawn above them. End ID]

I want to bite his ears.

beloved

unfettered

"san lang, are you sure this is okay…?"

"yes gege, don’t worry"

better late than never, right-