#! about me
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long / personal story ~ tw: ed recovery
these two photos are almost exactly 3 years apart. I struggled for my entire life with an eating disorder caused by my own chronic pain and physical ailments. it got very hard for several years trying to even maintain the small amount of weight I did have, but my ribcage hurt because my skin was pressed so tight to the bones, my arthritis in my knees and hips was unrelenting in pain, sleeping was impossible because my sides would just go numb.
then I found out I have endometriosis, a painful disease that overwhelms the ovarian tubes and uterus and I decided to put myself on birthcontrol to get that pain under control.
then slowly, i started having more of an appetite. they mentioned I might gain weight, and I cried at the fact that there was hope for me to have meat and squish and phat. I kept the light off in my bathroom so I didn’t have to look at my progress, all I did was open a tumblr blog and started taking photographs to chart and track as well as find a community of sex positive and lovely souls.
3 years, many different deactivated tumblrs, and that one picture of the left that is the only reminder from then just how small and malnourished I was. this one picture that shows just how tight and painful being that thin is, one picture that I now have to look back on and smile at the body I tried to take care of, and finally returned the favor when I could take care of just one pain.
on the right was today, my thighs don’t have a space between them anymore when I stand, my hips and knees have more cushion so my arthritis doesn’t act up as much, my curves are here and real and squeezable, my ass oh boi my ass is the phattest it’s ever been and I jiggle when I walk now.
Struggle lasts a long time sometimes, but when we finally are able to get just one thing under control, a lot of other things fall into place. I may not be able to eat everything I wish I could, but that’s just part of being an adult and taking care of my temple. This body loves me, and I love it, and will continue to nurture and grow with it ~
thank you to all of those that have known me these many years, to those that have uplifted and supported my growth, and a huge smooch to those that are still on their journey, are just starting, or haven’t begun yet. we got this ✨
~ okay to rb ~
#long story#long post#personal personal#tw ed#tw ed recovery#ed recovery#tw#cw#thoughts#bunni speaks#recovery#about me#body positivity
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Since I came out to my partner as trans after our daughter was born, there was an awkward period of time when mother's day came around where he didn't know what to do about the holiday. I had told him we could forget it, I'll wait and we can celebrate father's day together instead. That didn't sit well with him though because my birthday often falls on father's day and he said he felt like I was losing a day.
So he's rebranded mother's day for me, and now in this house we celebrate Parent's Day instead.
I just woke up to a freshly painted canvas next to my plate of pancakes and strawberries that reads "Happy Parent's Day. I love you. XOXO" written in my daughter's beginners handwriting (translated by my partner thank you babe I love you)
Anyway all that to say, my partner is pretty cool and I like him a lot. 10/10 would marry again.
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hyped about how my chest looks in this dress tbh
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Get To Know Me: 日本語 Edition
(i'm not a native japanese speaker so my grammar won't be perfect, and yours doesn't have to be either!!!)
お元気ですか？ はい、元気ですｗ
お名前は何ですか？ Languagelvlupと申します
何歳ですか？ 秘密だけど、20代です！
ご出身はどこですか？ アメリカ出身です
しゅみはなんですか？ 本を読むこと、アニメを見ること、ピアノを弾くこと、Nintendo Switchをすること
どのくらい日本語を勉強していますか？ 5年間
日本に行ったことがありますか？ はい、あります！日本に住んで��ます：）
好きな食べ物は何ですか？ おすし、やきとり、タコス
映画と本、どちらが好きですか？ 映画のほうが好き
好きなアニメ・マンガはありますか？ たくさんあります！FMA、犬夜叉、ナナ、JJK、フリーレン、デスノート、HxH
秋・冬・春・夏：季節はいつが好きですか？ 秋がいい！
JLPTを受けたことがありますか？ ある。去年の12月にN2を合格した：）
好きなテレビゲームがありますか？ ペーパーマリオ、ペルソナ5
ペットを飼っていますか？ 飼ってないけど、インコが欲しい
前の誕生日は何かをしましたか？ 彼氏とカフェに行って、おいしいケーキを食べた＜３それから、公園に行って、散歩したり、コイに餌をあげたり、ゆっくりしたりした。楽しかった！
I'll tag a few blogs just to get us started, but I'd love anyone to fill this out, so please tag me if you do it so i can read yours!! And no pressure to do it if I tag you <3
@expiationist @earianne @dokushoclub @jlang-gen @orch1dd
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dumb question: why is secret fic secret?
(Anon is referring to me and @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin admitting to no longer publishing all our works. One in particular, the eponymous Secret Fic, has consumed much of our time for almost a year now and has been a subject of follower fascination.)
It's not a stupid question, anon. There are a few reasons why not:
Greater editing freedom.
Muffin and I can edit, retroactively change, even take down chapters if something isn't up to snuff. Secret Fic being the length it is, continuity becomes a whole different ballgame than it is for a 60k or even 150k fic.
Odds of reader influence are zero.
Publishing as you go means readers will engage with your story, and you will receive feedback. Muffin and I don't typically court public opinion as we have very set thoughts on how a given fic should play out, but we'll sometimes have characters clarify things readers were unsure about, or add entire chapters we otherwise wouldn't (The Alice chapter in The Less Than Immaculate Conception, or chapter explaining Morgan Gaunt in Muffin's Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus). More insidiously, though, readers or anticipated reader reception can impact plot decisions. There is no such consideration made with Secret Fic, however, Secret Fic is gloriously unfiltered.
It's peaceful
We love comments, but there's something so very relaxing about receiving none of them, knowing nobody is reading, it's just us and the stoy. It's zen, it's peace.
Ownership
There is the thought that Secret Fic might be able to stand on its own as an original story. While this is an unlikely venue it's nice to have the total peace of mind and time to think things through before we do anything with it either way. (To be clear: this is unlikely, and wasn't a reason why we hid it in the first place, but as the fic has turned into a beast and the idea has occurred to us, it's just a benefit that it's unpublished.)
Secret fic is published only when it's complete, when we feel it's right, and when we have made the conscious decision to do so.
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Rules! List 5 topics you can talk about for at least an hour without any preparation. Tag others to find out their topics.
Thank you @rhoorl & @survivingandenduring for the tag! I think a couple other people tagged me too, but it has been lost in my notifications. Whoever it was, I love you too. 😘
Pedro Boys (obviously)
Egyptology
Pet Nutrition
Crafting
Any genre of TV Shows/Movies (I'm such a cinephile)
NPT: @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @auteurdelabre @nerdieforpedro @readingiskeepingmegoing
Feel free to tell me to fuck off if you've already done this y'all cause I can't keep up and I'm so behind on all things Tumblr. 😂
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via Williams instagram
That’s actually the exact joke I based my blog name on lmao
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☀️✨🙂↕️
#im still here just living life#+ im too tired to even sit at my desk to play sims#how are u all doing???#about me#nonsims#🦆
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I'm having an absolutely terrible time in my injury recovery RN.
This week my physical therapist looked at me and said, basically, "look, you're not getting better, you're still having this mysterious pain constantly, you need to go back to your doctor and figure out what is wrong in your foot."
So I called my doctor and all I could get was an appointment 2.5 weeks away.
And since then, my foot has gotten worse. Something has gone wrong in it and I'm having terrible pain when I put weight on it, worse than I've had in months. Something is out of place, caught, or whatever and I'm losing my mind.
Like, at this point, the GOOD news would be "we found what's wrong and you need reconstructive surgery to fix it...so you get to start recovery over after 9 months." The bad news would be..."yeah it's just gonna be like this now, maybe it'll get better in a year or so."
Because estimated recovery time for a badly broken calcaneus (which is what I had) is 1-2 YEARS. And you will almost certainly never walk the same again and continue to have pain and problems.
Which I've known but like....okay you'll have arthritis is one thing, but what I'm having now is something ELSE.
All of this because some FUCKER was fucking texting or something. And it also kills me that like, I can't get any recompense or anything from the accident because even if I took him to court, even if he was rich (which I'm fairly sure he's not) and I won, I'd have to turn everything I got over to my health insurance company to cover all this treatment I'm getting. So I'd still just be right back at disabled for life (some more) without even a consolation prize.
IDK I'm just really upset today. There's nothing worse than feeling like things are getting back into place, back to normal and then being knocked the fuck back to helpless.
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Jammie pants and mothman’s butt
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time for MY hyper specific poll !!
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May
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diversity loss this trans man is just as much of an emotionally unavailable avoidantly attached brick as any cis guy
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And I didn’t talk to him ever again
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so I work in education at a science museum
we recently had a snails class for 2-3 year olds
we had a staff meeting beforehand to go over the lesson plan for said class
my manager: maybe we can bring up the historical usage of snails to interest the adults... there was a snail that was used for blue dye in like, ancient Roman times I think?
me, about to pull out the most obscure piece of jewish historical knowledge that suddenly became relevant
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have realized that while i am not a fan necessarily of "people meet and immediately fall in love" i am a fan of "people meet and are immediately obsessed with each other." the love can come later but the absolute fixation should be immediate
#important text posts#about me#vegaspete and xuexiao in particular come to mind#it's the 'how unhinged does this look from the outside' question maybe#if it just looks like two people hitting it off and being cute together right away then eh not my thing#if it looks like two people who have suddenly zeroed in on each other in a way that makes others go 'oh that doesn't seem good'#i'm there baby
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