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painfulrant ¡ 7 months
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One Of Them Girls by Lee Brice
You x Jay
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“Come on, you’re gonna have fun. Quit sulking!” Lexis, Jay’s sister muttered, dragging his arm into the crowded house full of friends and strangers. He just grunted in annoyance, scanning the room for the one girl he knew would be here.
Are you one of them girls?
That peels off the Bud-Light label
Just might run a pool table
Roll your eyes if I call you an angel
Surely enough, he found you by the pool table, peeling off the Bud-light label from your glass as you waited for the man to your left to finally take his turn. He knew without a doubt, after watching you at any given party, that you would beat every man at that table without trying. Jay watched with amusement as the man to your right tried to hit on you, moving in close to pin you between him and the pool table. A steady heat filled his chest that he quickly tried to distinguish. He watched the innocent look that was no doubt a trap to draw the poor man closer with a small knowing smirk. Jay could faintly hear the word “angel” leave his lips before you giggled and rolled your eyes, moving just slightly closer before going straight faced and throwing a nut punch out. He could see your lips moving but couldn’t hear what he knew was probably a silent threat through the crowd.
Ain't you, one of them girls?
Ask you to dance, you say, "No"
Just to see how far I'll go
Your song comes on and your eyes closed
That's when I know, yeah
Jay huffed amusement before reaching out and taking a fresh closed beer from a guy who clearly had too much. The man turned and started in with the cursing so it was obvious he didn’t know who he was talking to. When his friends finally found him, they began scolding him and apologizing profusely. Jay only nodded and flicked his fingers. He didn’t feel like dealing with people tonight, he just wanted to watch his girl. He took a swig from the drink before he began making his way towards her, one goal in mind. Just a simple dance. Though he already knew the answer, he wasn’t going to quit trying. This was their routine. He’d watch, ask, get rejected, and try again at every party. The only reason he hasn’t given up is because every time she says no, she gets this spark in her eye and a small smile. It seems that she secretly enjoyed their run-ins as much as he does. Beautiful Crazy by Luke Combs soon came on over the speakers and as he stood in front of her with his hand out, he watched as her eyes closed with that same soft smile that seemed to melt his cold heart.
You got your heart on lockdown
Got a wall I gotta knock down
Kinda wanna do a shot now, come on now
He knew without a doubt that this woman standing and swaying before him had been hurt more times then he could imagine so he didn’t blame her for protecting herself the only way she could. That still didn’t mean he was going to give up though. He let out a small amused huff before nodding. “I’ll just try again later, Kotes.” With that, he walked back to his bar stool and sat, raising his hand to the bartender for two shots.
And you're one of them girls that
Ain't tryna meet nobody
You're just here for the party
If I'm wrong then stop me, yeah
You're one of them girls that
Ain't handin' out your number
You like to make us want you
You like to make us wonder
If you're one of them girls
'Cause I'm one of them boys
Who'll trade his whole world, hmm, yeah
She was here just to have fun and let everything go. He knew that and so did any other frequent male that came to these events. Everyone's eyes were on her but it was apparent that she wasn’t here to meet anybody or hand out any numbers. In fact, when Jay thought about it, he realized he had never seen a guy talk to her for more than a couple seconds whether that be from fear, anger, or dejection. Jay wondered if he really had a chance with this girl or if she just liked to drag men along… He was sure of one thing though. He wasn’t giving up. Once he got his girl, he wasn’t letting her go. He’d give everything and do anything to see her smile, keep her happy, and healthy. Even if he had to trade his whole world.
For one of them girls
Who likes to act all quiet
Sexy, not even tryin'
Yeah, you know I ain't lyin', damn right
He watched her silently, like a predator with prey. Except he intended her no harm and wanted to give her everything she’d ever need and want. She was quiet. Quiet and composed but still beautiful in every aspect possible. She said so much without saying a word. Any man in the room and most of the females would probably agree. In fact, most of the females held hateful glares while the males cat called and took any chance possible to get close to her. The whispers about her roamed around endlessly.
You one of them girls
Broke every heart in your hometown
On the day you rode out
Got 'em all wishin' on stars now
Jay turned around to ask for another shot and checked his phone, getting a message from his boss. The screech of a bar stool against the wooden floor brought his attention up to the beautiful girl that just sat herself beside him. His girl. As he studied her, he couldn’t help a small smirk. “I bet you broke every heart in your hometown,” Jay muttered, thanking the bartender for the glass and taking the shot swiftly. “Quite the opposite actually… got my heart broken and rode out.” She hummed, grabbing a drink of her own and yet again peeling the label off. He looked at her and studied the way her eyes darkened slightly and the smile she held seemed duller than usual. “Well they should all be wishin on the stars now for their loss.” The way her eyes widened ever so slightly and a soft hue of pink lighted her cheeks let him know she didn’t believe him one bit but still felt good about the compliment. “Maybe,” she smiled, looking at him before looking back to the dance floor.
If I find one of them girls that
Ain't tryna meet nobody
You're just here for the party
If I'm wrong them stop me, yeah
You're one of them girls that
Ain't handin' out your number
You like to make us want you
You like to make us wonder
If you're one of them girls
Well I'm one of them boys
Who'll trade his whole world, yeah
For one of them girls
“Would… you like to dance?” She asked, seeming nervous while fidgeting with her fingers that lay in her lap. His girl was so oblivious to how beautiful and capable she was in getting any man she desired, especially himself. He reached out and gently lifted her chin with his finger and thumb before giving a genuine smile. “As long as you can accept the fact that I can’t dance.” He was not a gracious dancer and he wanted her to know just that incase she decided otherwise. “Well as long as you don’t ask anything of me, I think I can accept that.” The soft cold touch of her hand curling around his arm made his heart thrash in his chest and heat flare through his body as if his body was trying to warm her just through that one touch. He let his beautiful mystery girl drag him to the dance floor with no objections. “I’ve felt you watching me…” She acknowledged, grabbing his hands and placing them on her hips while she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I have.” He wouldn’t try to hide it and he wouldn’t lie to her. He vowed that the day he felt his chest flutter in excitement from that one look she always seems to give him. “Why?” She asked, staring curiously up into his ocean blue eyes. “Because you're the most beautiful girl in the room and I’ve been waiting for the right moment to offer you the world.” With that, he moved so she did a little spin before coming graciously back to his chest. Her cheeks were a bright red but the smile she held made everything about her glow in the shadowed room, no doubt causing the jealousy in the room to heighten to new levels.
You're one of them girls
I wanna put my lips on
Hold all night long
Write a little love song
“I’ve heard about you, ya know.” That caught his attention, him tilting his head with furrowed brows while rocking them back and forth to what he hoped was the rhythm of the music. “Oh, yeah? And what exactly did you hear?” He asked. “That you're a stone cold d*ck who won’t let any girl near him.” The way she giggled made him bite the inside of his cheek to withhold the smile dying to be let out. “Only because I already have my eyes set on someone,” he started, pausing to watch her expression which seemed to fall a little at the mention of a girl. Little did she… “She’s beautiful in every way. Makes all the guys fall in line behind her and she’s the one person I need to put my lips on and hold all night. I suck at singing but if this girl asked, I would without a second of hesitation.”
For one of them girls that
Ain't tryna meet nobody
You're just here for the party
If I'm wrong then stop me, yeah
You're one of them girls that
Ain't handin' out your number
You like to make us want you
You like to make us wonder
If you're one of them girls
Well I'm one of them boys
Who'll trade his whole world (his whole world)
For one of them girls
“She sounds amazing…” Jay noticed the way she withdrew inside herself so he pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss to the crown of her head. “She is. In fact, she’s in my arms right now believing that I’m speaking of another when all I’ve ever wanted is right here.” The confession made her pause and look up with wide glossy sparkling eyes. He didn’t want her to cry and he couldn’t read her enough to know whether it was from fear or happiness that she held those tears in her gorgeous eyes. “I’d offer my whole world for you… but I know you aren’t ready if the tears in those gorgeous eyes of yours are any indication. I'll wait until you're ready. Just promise me you’ll wait on me too.” He hummed, placing another kiss on her cheek this time before gently tapping her waist three times and slowly pulling away.
Hmm, one of them girls
“We’ll see.” Though it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, he couldn’t stop the small smile from the amount of stubbornness in such a small body. He chuckled at the height difference between the two. She was perfect and he wouldn’t change her for nothing.
“We’ll see then.” He responded before he disappeared into the crowd, leaving her on the dance floor while she gently held herself. Her heart thrashed just as much, if not more, than his and she knew it would only be a matter of time before she gave in to him. And she didn’t think she’d regret it when the time came.
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painfulrant ¡ 8 months
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Send requests!
Hey, darlins! I’m in the mood to write some stuff so send some request.
Required: A song and a character
Characters: JJ Maybanks, 141 unit, or my personal OC.
Personal OC info: He’s 6’2, countrified, sarcastic, protective, dirty blond brown hair, ocean blue eyes, a little bit of a dick but never to you… Nickname is Jay. Basically a mixture of Dean Winchester and Klaus Mikaelson.
Warning: Haven’t written in a while so probably poorly done. 💕
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painfulrant ¡ 10 months
Text
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The House Of The Rising Sun
Short story
Not well edited, kinda sloppy
New Orleans didn’t seem to be the place for me. Not because of the place, views, or people but because of the shady business that goes there. Our neighborhood is a pretty decent neighborhood, each house having a name according to who lives inside.
The neighbors house has the name “Rising Sun” but it never made sense to me. The sun doesn’t rise on that side and it’s a pretty dark looking cabin house.
Now I feel and give others many things but pity is one I didn’t think I was capable of giving… But the poor boy that lives in that house has shockingly earned and tugged it out of me. I guess he’s more of a man then a boy, being 26 and all. With him, it just seems as though its one thing after another. Judging is out of the question, God knows I’m the same. Must be why my house is called the setting moon.
My mother barely made a living here, being a tailor with two kids and man to help her. She managed though, always sewing us kids clothes to wear while we had a ball. We were too young to understand. She and my dear brother are no longer here and I miss them dearly.
His father was in the shady business. He died not long ago from a gambling match that went haywire. Anytime I saw him, he only had a suitcase and a trunk. Always was he stone cold drunk, leaving his poor boy to care for his sick mother.
That’s how we met, you see. He didn’t know a thing about taking care of “sick” people, let alone his mother who always took care of him. Things changed when his father died though. Rumor is she’s on her last year.
So one day, the curious side of me grew a little too curious so I snuck into the Rising Sun through one of the windows behind the house. I remember his mother standing there with a pot in her hand and a broom in her other. She chased me down, screaming “petty thief” and “clumsy goose” all while I ran for my life. When she caught me, she sat me down and scolded me as though I were her own for “stealing” and breaking in. His mother was in fact “sick” but not in the physical way.
She was quite a nice lady, yes. We talked for hours and she taught me things my mother never got around to teaching me. The day soon came to an end and the son arrived home. That’s when I began to understand. As he stood in front of me, cold ocean blue eyes glaring my way, switching between his mother and I, I realized this man was no poor man.
This man was called the “rising sun” because he was the mystery thief who took from the rich and gave to the poor. He was the Robin Hood of New Orleans… A sneaky and dangerous man yet kind and morally sided all the same.
“Now all this took place some time ago. The curious women took care of his mother and the Rising Sun took care of her.” I whispered to the three sleeping beauties curled around me. “They fell in love after some time and had three beautiful adventures, all with different paths, laughs, and personalities.” I hummed, playing with the sleeping little boys hair in my lap, caught up in all the memories of what use to be.
“We sure did.” A familiar voice agreed softly, startling me and dragging my attention to the corner. There he stood, leaning against the wall with a small lopsided smirk.
“You’re home.” I stated with a small smile.
He nodded while he watched the beautiful thief he met so long ago breaking into his house taking care of his three children. Those same ocean blue eyes watched her with warmth of ever growing love and respect.
He watched her as she placed kisses on their children’s heads, whispering goodnight as she goes.
Both decided long ago they would change a single thing about anything. It was all worth it in the end.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Hey Sweethearts! ❤️
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted! I’ve just been overloaded with stuff and just kinda waiting on some request. If y’all have any request, I’m more then okay with writing them for the following characters: JJ Maybank, Rafe Cameron, and Kelce. ❤️
Just send some request and I’ll write them to the best of my abilities!
I love y’all! Be safe, give thanksgiving to God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, and have an amazing day. ❤️
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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To whom ever may be reading this,
Please take a second to stop what you’re doing and pray with me. If this ain’t your type of thing then don’t worry about it but for those of you who will… please do.
Hey God,
I know it’s been a while, for not only me but many people. I just want to take a moment to ask that you watch over our soldiers; the soldiers who have passed, the soldiers who are still here, the hurting soldiers, and the soldiers who found peace. They’ve been through things we can only imagine… So God, our father, please take care of them. Let them find peace and guide them to where they need to be. They deserve so much more than they were and are given. You’re everything and you’re who we trust, God. Please don’t let our soldiers in the past, present, or future suffer by themselves. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Boy Trouble
Sierra & Reader (friends)
Angst and Comfort
Boy Trouble
Deathly silent… That’s the only way possible to explain the silence that engulfs your form. The moon is high and the water moving along with the trees who dance and twirl, throwing confetti leaves over anything around. Yet there is no sound. There are no crickets, no whispers from the wind, no cracks or knocks from the trees or even the swooshing of the tides. It was scary-peaceful to say the least. It had your hairs on the back of your neck standing up and goosebumps appearing on your bare arms.
A loud slam of what you assumed was the Chateau door echoed around the night, sending birds flying before everything aside the sound of approaching footsteps quieted. A sigh sounded behind you before another body joined yours in the hammock. Without a word, you reached down and grabbed a beer, passing it to who you soon found to be Sierra. Her face was red and from the way her eyebrows were scrunched up, you knew she was furious and hurt. Her glossy eyes and tear stain face also gave away to what may have been a fight between her and John B, your best friend.
You both just watched the water and drank your beers and silence, not needing to say one word to understand each other. Boy problems, to be put in simple words. For her, you assumed, it was a fight with John B about her work trip. She would be gone for a week and travel to South Africa to experience the different social classes there. You weren’t totally sure what her job had to do with it but you knew she was excited. A world round trip to South Africa for free? You understood why she was excited. Only down part was that it was only a two person trip which means it would be her and her boss. Her boss happens to be a male.
As for you, it was that JJ has been actively ignoring and avoiding you. Everything was going well until you told him that you got a job interview for the hospital nearby to become an ultrasound technician. Usually, he would’ve been ecstatic and you knew this… but the way he acted and what he said really hurt you. Not to mention, the only time he’s been coming home is at night, after John B checks for JJ to see if you were asleep. Only once did you confront him when you were pretending to sleep and he’s been gone since. Still haven't returned home. It hasn’t been long since, only a night, but that one night and the way he’s been acting brought you great suspicion.
“Anything on JJ?” Sierra asked with a hoarse voice, both of you still watching the water. Dropping your eyes, you took a deep breath before shaking your head.
“Not since last night. I figured I’d stay out here tonight so he can actually get more than three hours of sleep.” You mused softly, playing with the fringy ends to the thin blanket over you. The silence returned for only a minute before you glanced up to study Sierra. The tears had dried but her eyes were still puffy. She’s ready to talk, just waiting for someone to ask. You knew it so you let out a small amused huff and gently nudged her with your knee.
“Was it over the trip?” You asked, pulling the good-for-nothing blanket closer to your freezing body.
“Yeah. We were just fixing to lay down an-” Before she could finish, you throughout an ‘The less I know the better’ statement, referring to where exactly that sentence was leading. A genuine laugh fell from her lips bringing a smile to your face.
“Anyways, I told him about the trip and how it’s free but he wouldn’t be able to go. He was excited for me, kissed me, and asked when I leave… but I couldn’t just not tell him that I’m going with my boss who I know he doesn’t like.” She explained before bringing the bottle to her lips and drowning the rest.
“I’m guessing he didn’t take it too well then.” You continued, looking back to the sea. Your mind drifted to what and where exactly your boyfriend was and if, by chance, he could be amusing another person.
“Nope. Said I wasn’t going. I told him I had to or I’d lose my spot as manager.” She paused and you could see the tears she was holding back, though you didn’t state as much.
“He said that traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is not my station.’ and it felt like a double stab. As soon as he grew quiet, I knew it held double meaning and that was it. I came out here to breathe.” The laugh that fell from her lips was anything but humorous and you found yourself frowning from the situation. You understood why John B was hesitant with their past but you also knew this job was important to Sierra. With a lazy shake of the head, you grabbed two more bottles, popped them open, and handed one to Sierra.
“Join the club, sister.” You muttered before the deathly silence from before returned, both of you being content with it.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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The Prince
Kelce X Reader
Angst
Poorly edited!!!!
It had been a bit since anyone came around. The silence was both comforting and horrific, having not been used to it. It was dark, the moon eliminating different shades of gray while the breeze carried the tree branches all around.
Peaceful and deceitful. For all the peace that the stars, the moon, the wind, and nature around you offered… it’s all deceitful as to how you really felt. Screams, wails, and words bounced around your head, hearing everyone's voice on repeat but nothing at all. Seventy-two hours and twenty-three minutes of it, to be exact.
The dock’s your favorite place. No one thinks to check it when you disappear… or maybe no one cares enough to come looking like they would with your boyfriend or best friends. If they could even be called that anymore. No one’s even tried to check in with you. No messages, no calls, no swinging by the house or even searches for you. You could be dead for all they know and they wouldn’t give one care in the world.
You watched as a boat flew across the water, slowly growing closer and closer, blinding you when the headlights swept over you. All of a sudden, the boat's engine cuts off. It should have startled you and you were very suspicious as to why it did but you didn’t move. Whether it be that you didn’t have the energy after not having water, food, company, or hope for three straight days or whether it be because you truly didn’t care what happened to you. It seemed that no one else cared either.
So you laid there, not caring to turn your head away from the blinding lights that made your head throb. There were no tears or clenching in your chest. It was all just emptiness… like your body was hollow and your ribs were just the entry to the dark space. When the lights finally turned off, you found yourself in front of Kelce, one of the kook princes, and Topper, another kook prince. They both shared a confused and concerned look with one another before Kelce ultimately decided to just move towards you.
Honestly, you were expecting a kick… maybe a few punches or nasty words thrown at you. You were slightly disappointed when neither came too. Instead, Kelce stood over you, studying your figure before taking a deep breath and sliding down next to you. Your focus was now on the stars, not caring for your safety or for what they were about to tell you. Probably some message to your boyfriend or something.
Shock streamed through you, the first emotion in hours to fill the empty void, when Kelce's soft voice carried through the wind to you.
“What’s got you out so late?” The question was simple and sweet. No prying and no hints of disgust or manipulation in them. Just pure curiosity. You turned your head over so slightly to glance at Kelce before looking back to the beautiful stars that seemed to reach out to you through small beams of multicultural light.
A sigh disturbed the peacefulness of the wind but you didn’t move and didn’t bother to speak. Then the sound of footsteps trailed right behind you until you could now see Topper standing over you. When he laid down, you watched as he turned his head to study you while you continued to stare at the sky.
They seemed to understand that you just wanted peace and quiet so they laid there with you for about two hours straight, refusing to leave you, even when the moon began to disappear beyond the horizon and the sun's beams began to light the sky.
“Do you want to leave this dock? Maybe go get something to eat?” Topper asked and the hesitation was clear in his voice. If he was bringing up food then it was probably beginning to become obvious that you haven’t eaten in a few days and the thought of people being able to tell just ripped the hollow feeling open wider.
It took you a few moments before ultimately you decided to just shake your head. The movement caused a spell of dizziness but you didn’t complain or even react to it. When Kelce sat up and watched you for what felt like eternity, you finally shifted a little and glanced his way. His confused asserting features smoothed out to one of a poker face before he reached his hand out. What for, you don’t know.
“If you wish to approach me, be gentle. You may break my fragile glass of solitude.” You whispered, or rasped, your voice having not been used since the group argument that took place a few days earlier. The warning was supposed to be sarcastic but it came out more of a broken plea that you winced at hearing.
Kelce’s hand finally came down gently on your hair, smoothing it out around the dock and away from your face.
“I do not wish to harm you, as much as I’d love to piss your boyfriend off.” He muttered, continuing to gently run his fingers through your hair.
“He wouldn’t respond the way you think… if he responded at all.” You exclaimed softly, your voice cracking with the fresh wave of sorrow washing over you from having said the thoughts that have been swimming in your head for a couple days now. Dizziness threatened to overtake you once more, along with a nauseating pain in your lower stomach. Still, you refused to move.
“You deserve someone who answers.” Kelce sighed, looking up. You could see the frustration and pure hatred he felt at the very moment towards the pogues yet you couldn’t understand why. Why does he seem to care for you? Why take the time he could be partying or doing rich people things to lay down with a broken filthy little girl. It made no sense.
You went to answer but your vision began to throb with your heart so you offered a small but genuine smile.
“You don’t have to stay, you know.” You muttered, closing your eyes from the exhaustion that wrapped around you like a cold security blanket. Everything was finally becoming numb instead of hollow… not cold or warm.
“Hey, don’t close your eyes.” It was both a warning and a plea that tore from Kelces chest but nonetheless, you just smiled while your breathing ability began to grow less and less. Not hurting, hollow, or happy. It was just numb, everything. Your lungs and stomach weren’t screaming at you and your head finally calmed. The last few things you heard were Topper, Kelce, and what sounded like the Pogues screaming and arguing, the warmth of Kelce’s arms being replaced by someone else's arms. Who? You didn’t know. You felt a warmth against your cheek but it was very faint before you felt nothing at all. Finally, a kind of calmness took the squeeze over your heart and mind away, finally being able to sleep and rest peacefully.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Silence is a dangerous game. Do not be the reason someone goes silence. It changes them. I know this because it’s changing me.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Be kind. Words hurt a lot more than you think. They stick in peoples mind, rotting their beliefs of themselves before the words finally change that person.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
Note
Could I get a JJ fic based of diet mountain dew by Lana del ray <3
Thank uuu
Here you are, love! I hope you enjoy. ❤️
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Diet Mountain Dew by Lana Del Rey
JJ maybank x Reader
Angst!!!!
Requested ❤️
You’re no good for me
Baby, you’re no good for me
You’re no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want…
The shadows, it seemed lately, have been the only consistent thing much like the light the sun generously gifts us. Yet with each ray and with each shadow, you found yourself barely surviving. Sitting alone at a table that used to be the both of yours, you stirred the diet mountain dew sitting in front of you. You haven’t touched it… tasted it. You just simply sat, stirring lost to your own memories.
Diet Mountain Dew, baby, New York City
Never was there ever a girl so pretty
Do you think we’ll be in love forever?
Do you think we’ll be in love?
You allowed yourself a small miserable smile while you pondered whether the love you held for him would ever leave. It certainly didn’t feel like it. You weren’t sad… nor were you angry. You were empty and somehow, in some way, that was worse than any other feelings. The break up was still fresh in your mind.
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Can we hit it now low down and gritty?
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
The feeling of his hands and lips against your skin seemed to be constantly there. No matter how often you wash. No matter how many times you sat in the bath or stood in the shower, sobbing and trying to scrub his scent… his touch away. He didn’t love you anymore and the idea that you were even carrying one part of him with you when he obviously wasn’t made you nauseous with sorrow and grief. Yet, even as you lay broken in the water that ran over your skin, almost as though it were trying to sooth you, you knew you carried a love for him that no one could take. Not even yourself.
Baby, put on heart shaped sunglasses
'Cause we gonna take a ride
I'm not gonna listen to what the past says
I've been waiting up all night
Your thoughts were soon interrupted by someone who sat across from you. The way her eyes were shielded and basically held heart in them, you knew that she was taken and she was very happy to be taken. She gently pushed your diet mountain dew closer to you with a sad smile, having known with one look that you now experienced what both of you were dreading. Offering a small smile, you sipped the diet mountain dew trying to ignore the past whispering and playing in your head. You haven’t slept well in weeks and last night wasn’t the first night that you just decided to give up on sleep.
Take another drag turn me to ashes
Ready for another lie?
Says he's gonna teach me just what fast is
Say it's gonna be alright
When you were half way done with the diet mountain dew, you heard the chime of someone entering the nearly empty wreck. Glancing up, you felt your heart turn to ashes, everything becoming numb when you saw him with her. JJ and Kiara stood in front of you, having not noticed you yet. You knew without a doubt that this wasn’t new… but you weren’t ready for the pretty lies he would surely offer if he did indeed spot you. The last words he muttered to you brought a shocking humorous laugh to your lips. You suppose he really did teach you what fast was, for he seemed to move on pretty d*mn quickly.
“It’s gonna be alright, kotes.” Sierra muttered from across the table, staring at you as though she felt and shared the pain that was threatening to blow the ashes to your burned out heart away.
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Never was there ever a girl so pretty
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
Slowly sipping on the diet mountain dew, you didn’t try to stop the nauseating feeling from emerging once more. Unbeknown to you, every man in the room kept his eyes on you, whether it be because they cared or because they truly thought you were the most beautiful women they’ve seen. Yet the one person you truly wanted and loved, did not want or love you back. You stood and moved to walk to the bathroom, the churning growing worse with the sudden movements.
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Can we hit it now low down and gritty
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
You paused upon seeing the same lips that had touched every part of your body, kissing the women who you had thought was your best friend. The sickness increased and that was when you realized that for the first time since the breakup, the tears were surely flowing. Lord knows you held all the pain and tears inside, letting it rot you from the inside out. Letting it fester into a nothing void that filled your chest and made it impossible to cry… until now. You found yourself asking if you’d truly ever be able to get over him or if this love you carried would always be with you.
Let's take Jesus off the dashboard
Got enough on his mindㅤ
We both know just what we're here for
Saved too many times
You ripped the cross necklace off, letting the sobs rack your body, not caring if anyone heard. You knew he couldn’t hear it but even if he could, he has enough on his mind that he wouldn’t give two glances towards the painful choking sounds leaving his last love. We both knew we were here to forget the pain he caused you and him to be able to move on and be with her happily. Part of you wished he’d swoop in and save the day as you had allowed him to too many times before. The other part of you whispered to you that he never would again and that you were wasting tears and emotion on someone undeserving of either.
Maybe I like this roller coaster
Maybe it keeps me high
Maybe the speed it brings me closer
I could sparkle up your eye
However, that’s when the nausea heightened to a new unbearable level, almost as though you were on a roller coaster. One you seemed to like, nonetheless. It allowed you to feel. To feel disgust and hurt. Maybe this was the only way to keep feelings, almost as though you were on an emotion high that you could only get from having your heart shredded, burned, crushed, and blown away in the wind. All by the same male. The wind would make beautiful colors, no doubt and you knew it would resemble the happiness you once felt.
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Never was there ever a girl so pretty
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Can we hit it now low down and gritty?
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
After having emptied your already pretty empty stomach, you sat against the cool wall and let yourself cry until you had no tears left. Until the aching in your chest dulled down to a study rhythm of painful throbs. Until your tear stained cheek had dried enough that it wouldn’t make your face break out. Until you felt your mind finally ease with the exhaustion that laid upon it.
You're no good for me
Baby, you're no good for me
You're no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want you
You're no good for me
Baby, you're no good for me
You're no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want you, I want you
You wouldn’t admit out loud that you still wished he was here. That you still wished he were yours. You would let yourself think it through. You would let yourself feel before you had to put on the mask of happiness and have to put on your big girl pants. You’d admit to yourself that you still so desperately wanted and missed him. That every second without him, you felt your heart detach more and more from reality, your sanity slowly slipping away while you tried to convince everyone of something you didn’t want to convince them of. That you were okay. That you weren’t slowly and surely falling apart and that you didn’t fall in a hole so deep and dark, you weren’t sure if you could claw your way back out.
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Never was there ever a girl so pretty
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
Baby, stoppin' at 7-Eleven
There in his white Pontiac heaven
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Never was there ever a girl so pretty
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City
Can we hit it now low down and gritty?
Do you think we'll be in love forever?
Do you think we'll be in love?
After a while, you just sat there staring blankly at the wall, feeling nothing at all but the exhaustion that threatened to make your eyelids finally fall. You felt a weird sense of calmness… one that brought nothing but allowed you to finally breathe. You would be okay.
You're no good for me
Baby, you're no good for me
You're no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want
You're no good for me
Baby, you're no good for me
You're no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want
You're no good for me
Baby, you're no good for me
You're no good for me
But baby, I want you, I want
You would be okay because all though you wanted the only man to ever break your heart in more ways than you knew were possible, you knew that he wouldn’t and could never love you in that sense again. You knew that you would be okay because when you look around you, you realize there were still people who cared. People you couldn’t let down. You knew you’d be okay because you didn’t have any other option then to be okay. So you smiled softly, stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t recognize yourself but the calmness you felt gave you enough confidence to smile once more to the mirror. To the women inside it. Finally, you turned and headed back out to finish your diet mountain dew, paying the waitress for the extra wait and allowing Sierra to lead you out the door without looking back once. Even when your heart screamed and pleaded with you to turn around and go to him. It would be alright. You would be okay.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Peace and Life
JJ Maybank x Reader
Little Angst, mostly fluff
Peace and Life
It was a normal day at the Chateau, everyone packing up to get on the boat. Kiara carried a cooler of ‘apple juice’ while JJ rolled a few. Everyone had been so on edge lately that you had just decided to get everyone out and on the water to let worries wash away with the tides. Of course, they’d come and go but there were other people present and you knew that with everyone around, no one would think of things for long.
When Pope and John B got back with gas for the boat, Sarah finally came out of John B’s room having just woken up. She looked to be decently clothed but you couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled from you.
“Love, you’ve gotta change. It’s quite warm today and we’re going on HMS Pogue.” You called kindly with a soft smile before you watched her freeze and groan, turning around before disappearing with a loud thud from the door having been slammed shut.
“Someone's cranky today.” JJ muttered what you were guessing was supposed to be to himself for when you turned with a raised eyebrow and amused eyes, he rolled his eyes and turned away. Your lover boy has had quite the attitude today and you weren’t sure if it was just him waking up on the wrong side of the bed or something that someone did.
Nonetheless, you knew he wasn’t angry or upset with you so you glided over, squatting in front of his form that sat with his elbows propped on his knees, a paper and stuff in his lap. He wore his black shirt with his swim trunks and his red cap backwards which you always loved.
“I think everyone may be.” You hummed, offering a smile. You gently grabbed his hands to stop him from his activity before moving your head so you could see his ocean blue eyes. Something was off. His eyes said as much from the unnatural dark shade to his eyes and the way he seemed to be holding every emotion behind a wall that he hoped would numb them all.
“What is it, sweet man?” You whispered, letting your fingers gently run and trace his face. Over his eyebrows, along his cheek bones, then down to his jawline. On and on, trying to ease the both of you.
He took only a moment, studying you as he usually does before deciding whatever it was wasn’t important enough to tell you. It stung but you knew it was his way of keeping the both of you safe from negative emotions and cruel thoughts. He looked down and grabbed his hat, squeezing the bill between his hands before running his fingers through his hair and placing it back where it was before.
“Nothing. Come on, they’re all waiting.” He answered, interlacing your hands so you couldn’t pull away. Not that you wanted to in the first place, you knew it was just a fear of his and you had no issue being close to him. You loved it in fact.
When the HMS Pogue stopped, water surrounded all sides with glimmering reflections of the sun that cast heated rays all around. Everyone was talking and chatting, JJ having just tried to pull off his ‘party trick’ where he stands on the edge of the boat while it’s still moving, holding a beer so he can try to catch the liquid escaping the bottle. It was funny to watch but annoying when beer matted everyone's clothes and hair.
You now sat in his lap, moving one of the many wash clothes that you hid inside the HMS Pogue seats against JJ’s beer smothered face. He was laughing and nodding along with Pope while the girls played music and chatted about their men and their experience. Which happened to be the exact reason you weren’t hanging out with them at the moment.
When JJ turned his attention to you, you saw his eyes darken once more and felt a creeping doubt that maybe it was you who he was upset and angry with. For what, you had no clue. You tilted your head, smile falling with concerned eyes that searched for the answer through his. When his eyes studied where your smile once was, a sharp ping jutted through your heart.
“Did I do something wrong?” You asked quiet enough so the others couldn’t hear but loud enough so he could. When his expression changed from one of distant thinking to one of shock and then again to a slightly frustrated emotion, you couldn’t help but begin to fidget with your hands that laid in between the both of you.
“No, of course not. I just…” He started, breaking the eye contact that you so desperately wanted.
“I can’t offer you anything that others could. I can’t give you a home… or money, or even really peace.” He stated, growing more frustrated by voicing his thoughts out loud. “I can’t support you and heaven forbid if you ended up pregnant, I couldn’t support the baby either.” He lifted you gently, making sure not to harm you but rushing to set you down and stand up. To leave this conversation because he didn’t want to hear your usual reassuring words. He knew they weren’t true and he didn’t want pretty lies.
You watched as he walked away, feeling your heart clench more with each step he took. What did this mean? Was he thinking of leaving? Of dipping on the relationship? All these worries hit you like a one-ton truck and you felt a dizzying spell from it. Swallowing the pain down, you stood before offering a smile to John B who had watched the encounter with furrowed eyebrows. It wasn’t unusual for you and JJ to fight but it was unusual for you to have just let him walk away. Usually, you wouldn’t allow that, that being if you could stop him in the first place.
Walking to the edge of the HMS Pogue, you stripped your shirt, remaining in your jean shorts and swimsuit before jumping into the cold refreshing water. One of the many reasons you loved water was for the fact that it acted as an escape for you. You could usually hold your breath for a while, just sitting in the water and letting your thoughts and emotions out around you.
So that’s exactly what you did. You let the air from your lungs slowly seep out as you sink before letting your body lay limp, the tides moving you. Your eyes were closed and you just let the sound and feeling of the tides wash over you, letting it ease your worries and numb your feelings. You knew this way of releasing emotions wasn’t necessarily safe but nonetheless you still continued to do so. Soon your lungs were screaming for air but you couldn’t find it to move just yet. You wanted the rush that came with having a time limit to swim to the top. You wanted the peace you felt in that instant to last forever. Forever wasn’t an option though.
As you broke the surface of the water, you found everyone searching the water before letting out a relieved breath from seeing you smile and wave.
“Don’t you ever do that sh*t again!” Kie screamed, worried lining her every feature. You stared confused before JJ cursed under his breath, calling you a ‘psychotic woman’, before jumping in as well.
“You were under twice as long as usual.” Pope explained with an impressive look.
“How long?” You asked, confusion and surprise making you ask the question you really didn’t want to know.
“Four minutes.” He answered, shaking his head. Your eyes bulged before you felt JJ’s arms finally slip around you. Without one second of hesitation, you turned and wrapped your arms around his neck, knowing he had probably flipped out when you hadn’t surfaced at your usual time.
“I’m okay.” You reassure before moving so you could place your hands on both sides of his face, not allowing him to move or look away.
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” You stated before your features soften a bit, placing a soft lingering kiss to the crown of his head. “You are my peace, J. If you keep avoiding life then you’ll never find peace. Okay? So stop trying to push me away.” You demanded.
He was silent, just staring at you before you took a deep breath and made a pouting face.
“Okay. I’ll work on it, sweets.” He muttered before glancing down to your lips.
“Will you kiss me now?” He asked, hope laced into his voice.
“Not yet. I have one more thing to say.” You answered, biting your lip with a half smile that you attempted, and failed, to hide.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” You hum, teasing but also being completely serious. You knew for some time he was struggling with his self image and you decided now would be an appropriate time to hint at it. Whether he found out what you were truly trying to say or not was up to him.
He stared at you with asserting eyes before he thinned his lips, trying to decipher what you meant. You gave him only a moment before speaking again.
“Now I will kiss you.” You whispered, leaning forward to gently brush your lips with his, quick and swift but holding all the love and affection that the two of you had.
When fake gagging noises sounded from the boat, you smiled against JJ’s lips, letting giggles fall from this. Today has definitely been a good day.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. - Virginia Woolf
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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A Long Day
JJ Maybank x Reader
Fluff, comfort
A Long Day
The numbers on the page blurred together with all the thoughts and the blood boiling beneath your skin. Having cried two times already from exhaustion and frustration, you latched your hands to your scalp feeling the heat, your body temperature, rise once more. Your chest contracted with sobs that were being held in, your stubbornness not letting a sound leave your mouth. If you couldn’t understand simple algebra then how were you supposed to do trigonometry and calculus classes?
Thankfully, the door to your room opened, drawing your attention there instead of on the packet of trig and scattered pages on the bed. Shock would’ve and probably should have been your first reaction but from all the negative emotions and thoughts swarming around you, you were thankful for whoever was about to step through that door. Serial killer, boyfriend, or not.
Fortunately, JJ walked in with a huff, throwing his sweat covered, dirty shirt into the chair that sat in the corner. With one look, you could tell he was exhausted. He stood there looking at the mess in front of you before slowly looking at you with a confused expression that soon turned to concern when he watched the first tear drop.
He silently walked over, not a word between either of you, before gently clasping your hand in his. Deciding to just follow and not argue, you stood and followed him to the bathroom, concentrating more on making the tears stop then watching where you were going. Before you knew it, the room turned from the dull blue of your room to the light tan bathroom with a curtain that had a cow skull on it.
You looked in the mirror looking at your tear soaked, puffy eyed face before having to fight against the tremble under your lip. You looked horrid and you hated it. Lack of sleep, stress, and not enough food had done wonders for you and a dull ache in your chest slowly began to grow into more of a sharp pain, squeezing the air from your lungs.
Needing a distraction, you turned the nozzle to the bath, letting your fingers rest under the water and adjusting it so it’s lukewarm. When warm fingers ran over your shoulders and down your back, under the silky cloth of your tank top, you sighed softly feeling your worries slowly drain.
You let him undress you, before you sank down in the bath and opened your arms so he could join you. Once he finally settled, you wrapped your legs around his waist and began to gently run your hands over his shoulder, back, and neck, rubbing out any tense spots. He was sore, the way he walked and tensed anytime your hands ran over a certain part said so.
After several minutes of silence and both of y’all’s hair and body being washed and scrubbed, he finally craned his neck backwards to find your eyes. You let your fingers run through his hair before softly brushing your lips against his shoulder.
“I may be getting fired.” JJ muttered, looking forward to where his hands ran over your thighs, giving you goosebumps and immediate mind numbing comfort.
“What happened?” You hummed, holding him closer. It was no lie that JJ didn’t like his job but it kept the both of you afloat.
“I didn’t know how to do something… Instead of asking, I tried to do it and failed, resulting in the company having to pay for it.” He all but whispered and you were sure that if he were facing you, not only would his face be red but he wouldn’t be able to keep eye contact from how embarrassed he was.
You let out a small amused huff before laying your head on his shoulder.
“I’m not sure if I can fix it.” He finally stated, his hands gently squeezing your thighs like a stress ball.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” The words were encouraging and dipped in honey and love. At least you hoped they were. When he didn’t answer for a bit, you began to grow weary. Questions of him being mad at you or you having responded the wrong way were tossed repeatedly around your head but all worries were soon snuffed out when he brought your hand, that laid against his chest, up to his mouth and placed a kiss to every one of your knuckles.
“You gonna tell me what the mess was?” He asked, shifting so he lay on the opposite side of the bathtub before opening his arms to you. An instant smile lit your face, happy to be able to relax against him.
“Algebra… It’s just a review for the class but the professor insists on us relearning these ways. I didn’t learn them to begin with though. You know how our school was.” You answered, trying to keep it short so you can just forget about it. It seemed he knew better though.
“And what part had my pretty girl crying? fixing to tear her hair out? Hmmm?” He asked, tracing circles around your belly button. You clucked, acting as though you were thinking of an answer before he gave a soft pinch to your stomach, a subtle but affectionate warning. So with a sigh, you explained, playing with your hands that were in your lap.
“I just don’t understand any of it. I’ve been trying for hours with nothing. I’ve looked at videos, I’ve asked questions, I even got a private tutor to help but it seems as though it just wasn't meant for me.” The cracks in your voice was just the start, as another tear slid down your cheek.
“And if I fail this exam tomorrow then I won’t be able to continue on with the course which means I won’t get to get the job I’ve talked about since I was a teen.” Your voice was quiet and shaky, all the pain, stress, frustration, and fear plaguing you. It was difficult to take a breath and you felt the walls around you begin to swirl so you turned and leaned against JJ with your eyes tightly shut. You didn’t want to go into an attack right now. Now was really not a good time. Or maybe it was and you were just afraid of seeming weak.
When JJ cupped your face and brought his lips to your own, you hesitated to kiss back, your lungs already screaming for air. To your own surprise though, the kiss allowed you to take a deep gasp of fresh air when you both pulled back.
J held you close, using one hand to wipe your tears away and the other to write ‘I love you’ on your warm soaked skin.
“Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.” He answered, his eyes glancing back down to your lips.
“That isn’t the issue because I do want to do good so I can-” You started, a shaky breath leaving your lips that he was eyeing like a starving man.
“No.” He started firmly but coolly.
“You desire the job, not the class.” With that, you stopped, staring at him with wide eyes before looking down with furrowed brows. It was no lie you disliked algebra… but could you dislike it so much that you just weren’t giving it a chance?
“There's my beautiful smart *ss.” J exclaimed with a wide smile and relieved eyes. He hated when you cried and he was determined. He was determined to catch every tear and be there for every breakdown so that you never had to suffer alone. He was determined to make you smile… to show just how much you meant to him. And he’s accomplished just that with the small victory of hearing your beautiful laughter and the playful shove to his chest.
“You’re a dork.” You smiled, gleaming with new found determination and something else he couldn’t quite place. Love? Appreciation? Relief? Maybe even a little of all of them.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou.
Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in. - Leonardo da Vinci.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Part Two: His Arrival
JJ Maybank x Reader
Fluff
Part Two: His Arrival
The dress was beautiful and showed all the right curves. It was a sapphire blue dress that had a v-cut chest, showing just enough cleavage, and lace in the back. A slit ran up the side of the flowy dress and it hugged your body, leaving little curves to the imagination. Yet with all the beautiful things on the dress, your mind just wouldn’t let you be happy with the way you looked. Something was just off.
Sighing, you placed the tan cowgirl hat on your beautiful shiny hair and watched as the turquoise blue crystal connected to the hat made your eyes pop. There were tassels on the hat too but they laid in the back, unnoticeable to anyone unless they searched for them. You had on a pair of light brown and blue cowgirl boots, the boots hugging your legs to make the fit seem more nostalgic.
Even so, you couldn’t find it in you to be happy or proud with the fit. You were about to take the hat off when you heard shouting in the distance, dragging your attention to the outside world. The party had started about twenty minutes ago and anxiety has kept you inside the room. When another shout and a bang was heard, you finally made your way to the door, hesitantly and quietly creaking it open.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so you took a step into the hallway but immediately went flying. A sharp pain jolted through your side before a dull ache settled in your tailbone. Muttering a curse, you began to rub your side, just realizing everything was now dark. It was your hat that had fallen over your eyes and you were terrified to take it off in case anybody was looking.
When the feeling of your hat being removed shocked you out of your embarrassment, your breath caught in your throat. In front of you stood the one and only mystery boy with the sandy soft hair. Before you had time to truly study him, a hand wrapped around yours and you were hauled off your feet and into a closet, chest to chest with the mystery boy.
“J, what is go-” You started before his hand covered your mouth, probably smearing the lipstick you had spent twenty minutes on. Shaking hands was a serious issue in the makeup field. You soon heard Rafe and what sounded like Kelce shouting to one another. After several minutes of them searching the room, thankfully not opening the small door that led to them, JJ’s hand eased away from your mouth.
“Hey, pretty girl.” This man was everything you’ve ever wanted wrapped in a black and white tux. A few bruises sported his cheek that you were soon gently tracing before you found his gorgeous ocean blue eyes that shined with many emotions.
“Hello, mystery boy.” You hummed, a soft smile gracing your lips.
“We still on for a slow dance?” He asked, one eyebrow raising with a cocky grin.
“Hmm… considering I didn’t know we were on for the first one… I’ll have to generously accept your invitation.” The soft giggle that escaped your chest felt so foreign that it even shocked your own ears. Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine being held between a wall and a handsome devil's chest, one you’ve only met a handful of times, giggling like a love sick school girl.
Yet here you stood, doing the exact thing you thought impossible with a boy you still don’t know much about. Only his name and that he was a part of the main pogue group. The one your best friend had love hate relations with.
“So… I have a message to deliver to the Kook queen, would you like to accompany me on my undercover adventure?” He asked, swirling a strand of hair that fell over my shoulder around his finger.
“Why, I wouldn’t want to get shot in a duel… but I suppose an adventure would be pretty fun.” You mock in a very breathy voice. This boy had no idea what he did to you and you loved it.
“Then on we go, my dearest.” He whispered, brushing a soft swift kiss to your cheek before you both snuck your way onto the dance floor. You blended with the crowd very well whereas JJ did not. So when he slipped away from you and moved towards Sierra, you couldn’t help but feel a small part of you feel disappointed from his lack of warmth.
It didn’t take long though before he stood in front of you, dancing from side to side with a goofy face. For the first time in a long while, your true laugh joined many others at the party. Maybe it was worth everything after all.
“You’re coming with us. Meet me over there in ten minutes.” He hummed, pointing to a spot in the distance where the lights didn’t quite touch. Not even a second later, you spotted the three princes of Kook town: Kelce, Topper, and Rafe.
“I’ll see you soon, my dearest.” He called out, having backed away slowly before disappearing in the crowd. In your hand lay a small flower that you guess he had picked and in your heart laid a swarming warmth that threatened to engulf your whole being. You were most definitely meeting him in y’alls secret spot in ten minutes. Those ten minutes couldn’t pass soon enough.
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Part One: Mystery Man
JJ Maybank x Reader
Fluff
Part One: Mystery Man
For the fourth time today, your best friend, Sierra Cameron, pegged you about the Mid Summer party. Neither of you really wanted to go but seeing as how you lived in the middle of the Kooks and Pogues and just happened to be best friends with Sierra Cameron, you were being dragged to the party against your will.
The issue wasn’t the party itself… rather getting dressed for the party and the people who would be there. You didn’t hate the Kooks like other pogues did and you didn’t hate the pogues like many Kooks did. You just couldn’t stand the snotty and wicked words and actions between the two groups.
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” Sierra smiled before her eyes grew big with her bottom lip puckering out. Her hands were together in front of her and you swear that if she had animal ears, they would be flat against her head.
“Sierra, love, I have nothing to wear.” You grumbled, turning to walk over to Heywards truck that just arrived.
“Plus, no one really likes me. I don’t fit in and many say I’m too boyish and quiet.” You mutter more to yourself with a small frown. The words that were often whispered by others were very hurtful. You would rather get punched in the face then hear another word said about your voice, body, or personality. All the same though, Sierra heard it and followed you to the truck that now had Heyward behind it and Pope in the bed of the truck, passing Heyward stuff.
“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” Sierra all but chanted, disdain etched all over her face when an eye roll was all she received back.
“What about that mystery boy? Will he be there?” She asked, making you pause, a warmth slowly creeping from your neck up into your cheeks. How did she know? Did she know who it was? You turn with curious and slightly accusatory eyes before you see a little eavesdropper listening in on the conversation between the two of you. Pope was still passing things to his father but you could tell by his body language and by the way his eyes glanced over every few seconds that he was, in fact, listening. Choosing that it didn’t really matter, Pope not having known who they were talking about in the first place, you turned and scowled.
“I told you already. He doesn’t like these types of things. Plus I don’t have enough motivation, let alone inspiration to go all out for this party and that’s IF I’m even going to it.” Your voice held a tone of final, rolling your shoulders before turning. Pope still stared at you with wonder and you offered a soft smile before tilting your head ever so slightly.
“Need a hand?” The question was simple and sweet, the tone you took with anyone you didn’t know too well. The same one that trapped your bumblebee in the sickly sweet honey of yours.
“You know… inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.” His words were sweet and you knew he had good intentions but there was also something lying just beneath his words. Almost like a double meaning. You stared for a few moments, letting your mind toss his words around before finally settling on having read too much into it.
“Alright, wise man. Let me help you and then I’ll go get ready.” The answer was sweet and teasing. Pope was a good boy. Not just yet a man but very close, as most of the other boys on the island were. Not to mention, he was brutally honest which you greatly appreciated. Not that you two talked much or even hung out.
“Yes ma’am.” And with that, you two worked on unloading until you finally left.
Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman. - Coco Chanel
Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work. - Chuck Close
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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The Sunset
JJ Maybank x Reader
Fluff
Summary: Wise words with beauty and love.
The sun slowly retreated beyond the horizon casting rays of orange and red against the soothing calm waters. The night was slowly taking over, the orange turning to different shades of red which soon turned to rays of light blue to dark blue.
The hammock swayed softly, one of your legs on the ground to continue the soothing rocking of it. Between your legs, against your chest, lay JJ Maybank. Both of you watched the sun slowly disappearing, one hand running your fingers through JJ’s hair while the other scratched up and down his broad shoulders and back. The wind whispered beautiful soft harmonies all around you, creating a breeze to keep you both cool from the warm weather.
“Lovie.” JJ’s half asleep voice called, catching your attention. Your warm eyes found captivating ocean eyes that stared up at you with a distant look.
“Think Wards gonna get away?” He finished, searching your eyes for any indication of a solid answer. Your eyes slowly slid back to the beautiful sun set.
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” You answer softly, letting the wind carry your gentle voice.
“He has everything. It’s not fair. We have nothing.” J huffed, beginning to trace what felt like triangles on your stomach. You thought about it for a moment before a soft smile and joyful eyes glanced back down to the man resting against you.
“That’s not true, my love. We have each other. We have loyal friends and we have family.” You reassure before leaning up to brush a soft kiss to his sandy blond hair.
“Plus… he who least needs tomorrow, will most gladly greet tomorrow.” You reminded, beginning to draw his name on his back. You had felt more than you heard the hum he gave, his chest vibrating against you.
After a few moments of silence, the sun was beginning to finally fade, different shades of blues lighting the sky while the stars began to shine bright. J began to shiver so you gently lifted up to grab a blanket off one of the stumps close by, a grumble leaving his lips when you left his side. Upon coming back, you laid down and he instantly laid back against you in the same position as before.
“I don’t want to go to jail.” J whispered half asleep. You paused your actions of running your fingers through his hair and over his back, looking down to the man that holds your heart.
“You won’t.” You smile, looking to the side. New determination swam through your veins before it felt as though everything around you froze.
“Lovie, I don’t want to be like him.” There was no need for an explanation there and you hushed him softly, brushing a second kiss to his forehead.
“You won’t. Wanna know how I know?” You comforted, looking to the stars above, the moon just barely peeking over the trees. When you felt his eyes on you, a smile lit your face still studying the stars.
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act. The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process, is its own reward.” The answer seemed like a riddle to your own ears but you knew that it was the only way it’ll stick in his mind. At least until he truly understands what it means.
“And you’ve already acted, Sweet Man.” You mutter, looking down to see sleepy gloss filled eyes looking up at you with wonder and a warmth you couldn’t place.
“I love you.” He answered quietly, looking to his fingers that smoothed over your thigh.
“I love you too.” You answer before looking back to the stars, hope and determination along with joy and love filling every ounce of your being. You could get used to this. The feeling of the slowly dosing man lying against you, snuggled to you as though you were all he needed, and the stars above. This was everything yet it was nothing at all. Forever more as you promised.
He who least needs tomorrow, will most gladly greet tomorrow. - Epicurus
The rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process, is its own reward. - Amelia Earhart
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Part Three: Hatred?
JJ Maybank x Reader
Angst, little fluff
Part Three: Hatred?
“I’m just gonna g-” You started, feeling incredibly awkward before you felt yet another pair of arms wrap around you for the third time that day.
“We have a problem here?” The voice was immediately recognizable, JJ having been the one standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist.
“I don’t know, Maybank, do we?” Kelce's voice sounded before you, Kelce having stepped closer to him.
“No. No, we are not doing this.” You whisper yet everyone seemed to hear you. You moved from JJ’s arm to lay your hand on Kelce’s chest and gently pushed him back with pleading eyes, asking him not to start anything. You turned to JJ and walked toward him, interlocking your hands so you could pull him away from the situation.
“Yes. Actually, I think we are.” Rafe’s voice cuts in this time, him stalking toward your lover with renewed anger.
“Rafe!” You called, stepping in front of JJ and moving backwards as Rafe grew closer and closer to your boyfriend who tried to step around you to go after Rafe. You quickly grab JJ’s hand, stepping in front of him again. Rafe was now nose to nose with you, JJ right behind you.
“Please.” You begged, looking up to Rafe. The look Rafe gave you was one that told you that you were nothing more than dirt beneath his boot.
“Rafe, please. We don’t want any issues, we just want to surf. That’s what you came here for, right?” You tried desperately to make the two males behind and in front of you step down when you heard two other voices join in, mocking you and Rafe. John B and Pope.
“Yeah, Rafe. We just wanna surf.” John B called sarcastically. With that, Rafe grabbed your shoulder harshly and threw you to the side, throwing his fist up. Before you could stop yourself, you yelled something out that didn’t quite make sense to you but made everyone stop, whether it be out of confusion or something else
“Rafe Cameron, if you throw that punch I will hate you. I will never talk to you again! Do you understand me?” Fear and rage made your body tremble and fist clench.
“That goes for you two as well. If he throws that punch, I will no longer talk to either of you.” You growled out, looking between Topper and Kelce. You felt stupid for throwing that out there. It wasn’t like any of them cared for you anyways, you sounded like a conceded b*tch to your own ears so you couldn’t imagine what the others thought of you.
Rafe stared at you a moment, cold and calculating. Kelce stepped forward, stepping in front of Rafe with a quick glance towards you.
“Come on, man. A lawsuit isn’t worth it.” Kelce tried. They all knew none of the Pogues could press charges or even get a lawyer so when Kelce said that, the entirety of Pogue’s and Kooks all looked to him with a ‘what-the-f*ck’ look.
When Rafe released your boyfriend, you instantly moved toward him.
“You got lucky this time, Maybank.” Rafe called out, moving his arms up and shrugging. When the three boys retreated to their vehicle and left, you turned to JJ with a panicked expression.
“I promise I’m no-” You tried to explain but was soon cut off with a kiss from your previously pissed off boyfriend. This was not what you were expecting. Still yet, you felt your body melt into his, his hands supporting your lower back before finally kissing him back.
When he pulled back, you opened your eyes with shock and just stared at him.
“I don’t like that you did that.” He stated, looking back to where the kooks once stood. “But I know you have no connection to them. Not sure how that worked but it doesn’t matter.” He answered. You could tell that it did bother him but you weren’t concerned about that at that very moment. From far away, you couldn’t see them, but now that he was close up, you let your eyes rake over the blue and purple bruises and cuts that littered his body.
You bit your lip feeling your anger spike when you looked up to him, asking him without asking him if Luke did this. When he looked away from your gaze, you nearly growled and looked to the side to try to hide your expression from him. You would kill Luke. Maybe not today, but someday you will.
“It doesn’t hurt.” JJ tried at a weak comforting sentence but that only seemed to spike your rage more. You remained silent, moving so your arms carefully wrapped around his waist, face laying against his chest. When his arms engulfed you back, you felt the rage slowly but surely sizzle away.
“I know-” JJ started before stopping, seeming to gather his thoughts, “I know he isn’t the best father… but maybe one day we can both forgive him.”
You sighed softly before looking up to him.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis B. Smedes
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painfulrant ¡ 1 year
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Part Two: The Kooks
JJ Maybank x Reader
Angst, little fluff
Part Two: The Kooks
As soon as they pulled into the beach, they knew there was going to be trouble today. Not only were JJ, John B, and Pope already surfing but Rafe, Kelce, and Topper just pulled in beside you, Kie, and Sierra as well. You were in the back of Kie’s dad’s truck with the surf boards, making sure none of them flew out on the way there. You loved feeling the wind in your hair and speeding down roads anyways so why not knock two birds out with one stone?
You jumped out of the truck. Staying true to your words, you wore a cute pair of jean shorts and boots. There was no use for a shirt since y’all were just surfing anyways and honestly, shirts made you itchy during warm weather. So why not just go without?
Once all the surfboards were safely out of the truck, you began to walk down the street when a surprisingly bulky arm wrapped around your waist. Turning around, you instinctively threw your fist back, fixing to punch whoever it was. When you realized it was just John B, your brother from different parents, you sighed, holding your chest to calm your racing heart.
“What is up with all of you trying to give me a heart attack today?” You laugh softly, turning to give your brother a hug. Then a second set of arms wrapped around you which you soon found was Pope.
“Where have you been?” Pope immediately asked, checking over you for any scars or bruises. You always saw him as the mom of the group.
“You know, just cutting trees and crashing vehicles.” You remark, wearing a sh*t eating grin. “Yeah, whatever.” He mumbled back, shaking his head with a smile. Your eyes casually glide around the beach until you find JJ, standing with his board. Having second thoughts on whether you should have come or not, you turned around to head back to the truck, JJ having hopefully not seen you yet. What if he still needs space? What if he’s still mad at you?
All these thoughts coursed through your brain and blocked any common sense and awareness you once had and soon enough, you stumbled into a wide chest. A sharp jolt of pain went through your nose, shooting to your head, causing you to drop your board and curse loudly.
“What the hell?” A voice that was all too familiar sounded, causing you to instantly stop and look up with wide eyes. This isn’t good. Not good! In front of you stood Topper and Rafe, the chest you ran into having been Kelce’s. The fear you once felt was taken over by embarrassment and guilt.
“I’m so sorry, Kelce. Are you okay?” You asked, the kind side of you instantly making an appearance as you let your gaze travel over him for any injuries. When you looked up, you were met with three very confused gazes.
“Aren’t you supposed to, like, hate us or something?” Rafe called out, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head ever so slightly. You were stuck as to what he asked and you felt a little offended by the question. Sure, the pogues didn’t like them and yes, all three of the boys had done more harm and horrible things than any one of the pogues combined, but you honestly held no hard feelings towards them.
“No.” You answered, voice steely cold. “I don’t hate any of you, I just avoid y’all because knowing my luck, you’d have to make a message out of me.” Honesty was one of your best and worst traits. At this exact moment, you hated it because they all just grew quiet and stared at you.
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