Tumgik
You bare the calluses of a writer
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“..My love? Where are you?”
“Here my darling. Always here..”
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Reality wishes to keep you from me my love
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I hate you with all of my love
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Heaven
Heaven to me,
Is not a place
But a person.
No one I’ve truly met.
But who is always there
In the corner of my vision
Helping me through my day.
I can’t touch them.
Not yet.
Soon.
And though,
I have not lived a great life,
I hope that when I die
I am good enough to meet them.
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Why do you try
To bend me
Where you know
That I’ll break?
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I’m on an island,
Slowly sinking
My arm outstretched to you.
You can save me!
Why won’t you save me?
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The sky is crying
Just as my heart
Cries for you
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Below the Leaves
Under the warm heat of the sun
Shining light
On the water’s glistening surface
A gum tree stands
Tall and maternal.
No sound
But the subtle creak
Of the old warf
And the sway of the breeze
And the quiet exhale of breathe
From tired lungs.
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O Helen of Sparta
O Helen of Troy
You seek neither
And yet you are both
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Him
Him.
He’s the sun.
The smile that lights everything
(Though he always says that’s me)
He’s the mop of long blond hair
Tied in countless hairstyles
(Sometimes he lets me braid it)
He’s the one who holds the sky in his eyes
Possessing endless knowledge within
(And when he talks it’s the most captivating thing)
He’s the passion in every work of art, music and literature
(The mindless rants and praises are something we both delight in listening from the other)
He creates the most beautiful melodies
(He writes music for me to play)
He is my everything
(And I, his)
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It’s Not Real (But I Wish it Was)
I know it’s not real.
It’s never been real.
But when I’m alone
I can hold my sun
The light of my universe
That I met eons ago
In a land now dust.
I have a whole life there
Dearly beloved
With a sense of belonging.
I hate that feeling of reality
The tears that threaten to escape their confines
All when I realize
That the people that love me enough
to tear the world in two
Don’t even exist.
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​Withdrawals
You’re like a drug.
How I am addicted to your faux kindness,
How I feel the desperate need to escape you,
And how I feel the agonising want
For you to take the very pain away of which you caused.
Withdrawals are hard.
And this part I think
Is the hardest.
But
I think
Maybe
I might be better off without you.
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I’m so Tired
When I was away from you,
I felt happier than I had in a long time.
No longer tired during the day
Or even long into the night.
But now your back.
Demanding answers.
And my heart hurts all over again.
All I tried to do was move away slowly.
But you couldn’t let that happen.
It’s a testament really,
To how little you care.
That you jump to think the absolute worst in me.
My heart throbs with each new message
Not enough to alert anyone to the abuse.
But enough to stab me
Over and over
And over again.
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The Story of Medusa
Medusa’s Hymn
The first time I threw my life at you,
You welcomed me.
You opened your arms,
and smiled at my chastity.
And when I swore my life to you,
You embraced me.
Oh how things have changed.
Day by day,
I worked in your name.
And ensured that nothing I did for you,
Would ever be in vain.
You looked at my work,
And all that i’d done,
And you smiled,
As I relished in the sun.
Oh how little I knew.
So when the sea came for me,
I threw myself at you once more.
Hoping that you would lead me away from him,
Back to the shore.
Instead you watched,
In disgust still,
As you watched him take me,
Against my will.
Oh how naive I was.
When you looked at me,
As my hair hissed,
It was then that I knew,
That I would not be missed.
And when you threw me,
And my shattered remains,
That it was only I,
That suffered such pains.
Oh how I despise you.
And so i threw my anger,
At any man who dared trespass.
For any man here,
A jackass.
With a single look,
Straight into my eyes,
They turned to marble,
And thus was their demize.
Oh how I thought that was the end.
But as I unleashed my rage,
And turned these men to stone,
You sent a ‘hero’,
To help me ‘atone’.
You gave him a shield,
So polished and clear,
That you could see my reflection,
Without cause for fear.
And as I lay sleeping,
Two unborn children sat in my womb,
You had this so called ‘hero’,
Send me to my tomb.
Oh how my sisters wailed.
And then he picked up,
My severed head,
And placed it on that same shield,
To bring men to their end.
Alive I was taken,
Abused.
And now dead, still,
I was used.
Now finally,
He brought you the shield,
As a thanks for the gift,
that you let him wield.
And so there,
My head stays.
Centuries passed
The end of my days
Oh how this irony never ends.
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My Other Family
When I think about my family,
I don’t mean my two parents,
Nor my brother and sister.
I don’t even mean my dog.
I’m talking about my other family;
The family trapped in the pages of the books I’ve read.
The family decorated in colour on the TV I watch.
Even if it’s in the form of two demons and an Angel with six wings,
The devil and a witch,
A princess of fire and a thief with a cane,
A painter and a boy too obsessed with blue food,
Or even a psychologist who lost the ‘logist’.
None are from the same world,
But in my head, they jump from land to land.
Two demons convincing the Angel to rest.
The psychologist who now wears pigtails and carries a bat teaching the princess her independence.
The thief showing the painter how to play cards, trying to heal her broken soul from the trials that taxed her life.
That little boy and I covered in batter in the kitchen trying to recreate his mum's cookies.
A family that no one knows I have.
A family I talk to every day.
I was raised by angels and demons,
Princesses and queens,
Gods and mortals,
Joys and sorrows,
Creators and destroyers.
And they all continue to shape the very being I am today.
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When I am Older
When I am older
I will get three butterflies
Tattooed on my wrist
To symbolise all
The three times I went too far
Both marks on my skin
One made for beauty
One made to help me through Hell
But both born from pain
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