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lithium-poet · 1 day

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realizing i am thinking about you instead of the audiobook and going back 15 seconds on the libby app. realizing i am thinking about you instead of the groceries and i have been in this aisle forever, just staring at bread choices. realizing i am only on instagram to send you things. realizing i am thinking about you in the middle of my morning routine like you pardon the early hour just by existing.

little hopscotch moments where i get to nest in the memory of you. i get stuck, candycoated in the sound of your voice. the shape of your hands. the little spray of freckles over your cheeks. your hair fanned across my bedsheets. realizing i am thinking about you instead of applying for jobs. realizing i am thinking about you instead of writing poems. realizing the sound of your name has become a second heartbeat somewhere in the rabbit warren of me.

#beat poetry on amphetamines

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lithium-poet · 3 days

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₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 3 days

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D told me about his high school today. It’s a standard catholic high school in a small town nearby, with almost no social media presence and a website that was probably very cheaply designed in the late 2000s.

I scavenge for any clues he may have left from his youth like a starving animal searching for prey. I went through the poorly organised website, and there was something in me that made me click on the uniform shop. I discovered that their uniform is surprisingly similar to ours (well, there are only so many ways that a plaid skirt, a shirt and knee high socks can vary). A disgusting thought crossed my mind.

Dear D, I wonder if the way I wear my uniform reminds you of your first love in high school. I imagine her in an untucked shirt and a rolled up skirt and the same knee socks that I wear, leaning on the wall of the music room the way that I do every day.

And I then imagine you at my age, locking yourself in your bedroom writing abstruse songs for her on that old cranky piano, completely unaware of the passage of time. I imagine the way you talked about her in your bassist's basement when you'd have practice, the way you looked at her during theatre rehearsals, and the way you gathered up your courage to ask her to go to the formal with you.I imagine you working at your summer job as a cashier saving up for a guitar, feeling lost about your future and scared of the passage of time, being the first to get your drivers license in your friend group and driving your friends around blasting alternative rock, and it made me cry.

He was once just like me too.

I took the liberty to indulge myself in hypothesising his adolescence and thought of the lyrics to Lana Del Rey's Text Book.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 8 days

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Reblog if it's okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.

please, please and please.

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lithium-poet · 9 days

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i need him to hold me like this so bad

#beat poetry on amphetamines

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lithium-poet · 13 days

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girls when they remember 7th grade.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 13 days

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girls when they meet the right person at the wrong time.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 13 days

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another time, another life, another universe.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 14 days

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I don't want something casual. Come lie down with me while the world is ending.

#beat poetry on amphetamines

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lithium-poet · 15 days

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unknown // instagram, geloy concepcion // unknown // in the event this doesn't fall apart, shannon lee barry // oh earth we're briefly gorgeous, ocean vuong // instagram, geloy concepcion // riko (aribachi) // a grief observed, c.s.lewis // jamie anderson // @sarakleign // macbeth, william shakespeare // unknown // bright dead things, ada limòn // would've could've should've, taylor swift // dark paradise, lana del rey // haunted, dean gioia // fourth of july, sufjan stevens // perfumebathing // unknown // growing around grief, lois tonkin

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 19 days

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We were alone in the music room improvising together today. All of a sudden he stopped and looked over at me to tell me that it was an once in a lifetime moment, because it was an authentic portrayal of who we really were in that moment, with no expectations, only hope. We could do this again next week, and the week after that, and the week after the week after that, until the fuse of the bomb that is our time together runs out, but it would never be the same because we wouldn't be the same people that we were in that exact point in time.

It was such an intimate gesture that it startled me a little, in the best way possible. I wanted to tell him that he's my once in a lifetime, too, but I was choking on those words. I could neither swallow them nor spit them out, so they are still stuck on the back of my throat.

Dear D, sometimes I find myself wishing that we could've met some other way, some other time, and not be in the position in which we currently are. Maybe we would stand a chance then, in another universe. But it was in that moment that I realised that I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, because we wouldn't be the people that we were today and we wouldn't experience that moment in the same way. That one evanescent flash of bliss was worth all my long-winded unrequited pining and the heaviness of the grief for what could have been that I carry in my heart every day.

Be my once in a lifetime.

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 19 days

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“I want to be with you, it is as simple, and as complicated as that.”

— Charles Bukowski

#beat poetry on amphetamines

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lithium-poet · 20 days

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Sadie Sink, All Too Well: The Short Film, directed by Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift, All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) [From The Vault]

Phoebe Bridgers, photographed by Frank Ockenfels

Phoebe Bridgers, Motion Sickness

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 22 days

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Love me until i love myself.

Lana del Rey, Did you know that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 23 days

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thanks for the tag violet <3

𝓛 - love is a laserquest, arctic monkeys

𝓘 - icu, phoebe bridgers

𝓣 - teenager, deftones

𝓗 - happiness is a butterfly, lana del rey

𝓘 - i know it's over, the smiths

𝓤 - uncomfortably numb, american football

𝓜 - motion picture soundtrack, radiohead

𝓟 - providence, sonic youth

𝓞 - once more to see you, mitski

𝓔 - expo '86, death cab for cutie

𝓣 - time / the end of time, the chameleons

that's too many people to tag so i'm just not going to tag anyone ><

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people.

tagged by: @janaispunk, thank you for tagging me jana! <3

s: symptom of life by willow h: hertz by amyl and the sniffers e: echolalia by faetooth l: l'amour looks something like you by kate bush l: leikara ljóð by susanne sundfør s: swim good by frank ocean h: habibi by tamino o: orange by big thief c: cranes in the sky by solange k: kiss by mannequin pussy l: laughing song by black country, new road o: one of these things first by nick drake v: virgo's groove by beyonce e: electricity by joni mitchell

no pressure tags: @dustydaddyyy, @perotovar, @hollandweather, @sweetercalypso, @swiftispunk, @covetyou, @silkscream

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lithium-poet · 23 days

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Lana Del Rey, Cinnamon Girl // Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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lithium-poet · 23 days

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me when he gives another girl any attention (it's his job) ‎♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒,

𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒷𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶

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