I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, I know that. But, why does it feel like I'm always getting blamed at everything?

Ask Me Anything

I love helping people out in Kokobot and if you guys have any life concerns or want to have a life advice. Comment below so I can answer. By the way, I'm no professional when it comes to these things regardless of being a psychology graduate. I genuinely just like to help people out, listen and offer advice if they want to.

Feeling so lazy!!!

Ungrateful B*tch

Yesterday you called me an ungrateful bitch because I don't humble myself and not being grateful for the things you have given me or helped. Personally, it's hard to be grateful when you are the sole reason why I am broke and drowning in debt. It's hard to be grateful when every time you give and help me, you would always revoke and belittle me as a person and for having less. You would blame me for not giving you the equal share of expenses but you fail to realize we never have any equal shares and you would just find ways to circulate the share of the house expenses without comprising your money. You would only depend on our shares and only helped little. You said you got a second job because my salary is low and can't keep up with the share that you give. But the main reason you did that, is because we were under lockdown and my company had a skeletal schedule where there would be no pay for the days you didn't come in the office. I was short in money and you couldn't depend on it anymore to pay some of your personal expenses like your phone bill and subscriptions. Also, you used our mother's pension to pay for your monthly amortization for the laptop you purchased which you lessened buying her medication and maintenance. Instead of having a month supply of her medicine, you reduced to 10-15 days and only buy the medicine that you think she only needs. I remember two years ago you told me you'll find more clients so that you'll have commissions every month but you didn't. You only depend on the commissions that you already closed which resulted you having money once or twice a month and you have to wait again for the next two to three months for your next commission. So, when you're short on money you either ask me or our parents to lend you. By the time we ask you to repay it, you would say how selfish we are and start throwing a tantrum. In the end, you rarely pay us back.

You bitch about not being able to save money because all your money goes to our house expenses but it was only the time you've actually helped the family. You have been dependent on us for the past few years and you have compromised our finances. Well, you should've work your ass off so that you won't ran out of money and not depend on us. Instead, you throw yourself in self-pity, made us look like the bad guys of your 'depressing' life and belittling your family that actually helped you when you hit rock bottom and made us your emotional punching bag. You are the ungrateful bitch in this story not me.

Ungrateful B*tch

Yesterday you called me an ungrateful bitch because I don't humble myself and not being grateful for the things you have given me or helped. Personally, it's hard to be grateful when you are the sole reason why I am broke and drowning in debt. It's hard to be grateful when every time you give and help me, you would always revoke and belittle me as a person and for having less. You would blame me for not giving you the equal share of expenses but you fail to realize we never have any equal shares and you would just find ways to circulate the share of the house expenses without comprising your money. You would only depend on our shares and only helped little. You said you got a second job because my salary is low and can't keep up with the share that you give. But the main reason you did that, is because we were under lockdown and my company had a skeletal schedule where there would be no pay for the days you didn't come in the office. I was short in money and you couldn't depend on it anymore to pay some of your personal expenses like your phone bill and subscriptions. Also, you used our mother's pension to pay for your monthly amortization for the laptop you purchased which you lessened buying her medication and maintenance. Instead of having a month supply of her medicine, you reduced to 10-15 days and only buy the medicine that you think she only needs. I remember two years ago you told me you'll find more clients so that you'll have commissions every month but you didn't. You only depend on the commissions that you already closed which resulted you having money once or twice a month and you have to wait again for the next two to three months for your next commission. So, when you're short on money you either ask me or our parents to lend you. By the time we ask you to repay it, you would say how selfish we are and start throwing a tantrum. In the end, you rarely pay us back.

You bitch about not being able to save money because all your money goes to our house expenses but it was only the time you've actually helped the family. You have been dependent on us for the past few years and you have compromised our finances. Well, you should've work your ass off so that you won't ran out of money and not depend on us. Instead, you throw yourself in self-pity, made us look like the bad guys of your 'depressing' life and belittling your family that actually helped you when you hit rock bottom and made us your emotional punching bag. You are the ungrateful bitch in this story not me.

To Be Selfish for Once

I am so sick and tired of being called selfish whenever I want to think of my well-being. I am tired of being told constantly to put someone else first than myself when that's all I've done for the past years. I have been putting up with this for so long and for once in my life, I want to put me first. In every decision or action I must do, I have to think of the people around me on how it will effect them. I have put myself in a difficult position because I have to think of others. For years, I've been surviving with scraps and the hard earned money I've worked hard for goes to somewhere or someone else. I am tired of feeling guilty whenever I want to eat out or buy myself something. I am tired of considering other people's feelings instead of my own. I am so tired of the people around me that would never understand the sadness and pain I've been going through because their sadness and pain are more important than mine. I am just so tired of it all. I just want to start living. Is it really horrible for me to ask?

Most of the time, I wish I could just drop everything and run away. Delete all contacts so no one can reach or find me. Never to be heard again. To live in a place where no one knows me and to finally do things what I've always dreamed of without thinking anyone but myself. A brand new life for me.

Without You

Maybe my life would be better without you in it. Maybe I would be in a better state if you weren't there making decisions for me because you think it will benefit you instead of benefiting me. Maybe I wouldn't look down on me so much because I don't get to hear your nasty comments and be confident for once. Maybe I wouldn't feel so stupid because you're not telling me I am and showing off to people that your smarter and better. Maybe I wouldn't be so scared to mingle with other people because you're not there to embarrass me to make yourself look good. Maybe I wouldn't be so scared to stand-up for myself because you're not there to hurt me when I speak out. Maybe I would think of my well-being first because you're not there to say I'm selfish of thinking about myself. Maybe I would be financially stable because I don't have to give the majority of my money to you, saying it's my share of expenses but you spend it on something else. Maybe I would be closer to my goal because you're not there to drag me down with your problems.

You've been doing this to me since I was a child and up to this day you're still doing it. You were supposed to care for me like an older sister should. Why can't you be like that? Instead, you dragged me into your problems when you should be dealing it like an adult. You constantly disturb me without even thinking the inconvenience you put me in at work. You have manipulated people with your twisted sense convincing them and claiming that I'm the problem and not you. Whenever you have a problem, you always drag me along with you. I shouldn't be considering you in my decisions because I want to have a life. That was my whole plan but you ruined it. Every time something good happens to me you always make a way to ruin it and create an obstacle to prevent me from moving forward. It's like you're stopping me to be successful so I can't outrun you. It is unfair. I want to to run away from you but you made me penniless and drowning in debt. Now, I'm stuck and I have to think of ways to earn money without you knowing because I want to start living. I am so sick and tired of how you are treating me. I am sick and tired of you blaming me for every wrong decisions and mistakes you've made.

I am going to get away from you one day and I can't wait. I will finally fulfill my goals and be happy for once.

Afraid of Love

I'm 28 year old lady and I have been single since birth. Having flings are unappealing to me because I want a serious and honest relationship with a guy. Crushes are temporary and by luck, I get a nanosecond of a guy's attention before he find someone worth their time. But, I guess that's my fault since I'm closed off and my lack of social skills. I lack the ability to flirt and it doesn't help when you're an introvert who's socially awkward. Guys never approached me and I don't have the courage to approach one either. I don't have a problem being single. Slowly, learning and loving myself more but it doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. In fact, I love to be in a relationship where I can love and care for the guy I love and his as well. I want to experience snuggling with him on the couch while we're watching movies, holding hands and smiling at each other when we walk down the street, bantering and laughing at our silliness and slow dancing to our song. But, the problem is I'm afraid. I'm afraid of love. It's not because I have commitment issues. One thing about me is I'm very loyal and not afraid to commit. What I'm afraid of is him falling out of love for me. I'm afraid when I wake up in the morning, I don't see the love in his eyes anymore. He would say the words I fear the most, 'I don't love you anymore', and gets up and leave. I'm left crying and heartbroken. I'm afraid that I'm not worth enough for him to stay.

I have some experiences where a guy would reach out to me in social media and we would talk ang laugh for long hours. They would flirt with me and I would try to flirt back but I ended up complimenting him which they will laugh and say they find it cute but it doesn't last long. The last message would always be me greeting them good morning and telling them to have a great day and be safe. They left me on read and never replied back. The last one I thought it was going to last.

He reached out to me on Instagram in the year 2020, in the middle of the pandemic. I was skeptical at first because he's a very handsome guy and told me I'm beautiful. I ended up replying later on and we've been talking to each other for two years. He would make me smile and laugh with his cute flirting and we would talk about our dreams and goals. He would tell me his silly pickup lines and I would smile and laugh. I felt happy when he said he liked me because I liked him as well. He told me he hoped I wasn't talking to anyone else and reassured him I wasn't which was true. But, he never said we were couple and I don't want to presume we were because he never made it official and I don't know if I should say something or not. We lasted for two years and I was slowly falling for him but not once he said we were exclusive. His last message was his reply from the joke I learned from Tiktok. Then, a few weeks passed he never messaged me. At first I thought, maybe he was busy with work or resting so I let it be. One day, I decided to message him and asked how he was doing. Only to find out I can no longer view his IG profile. He blocked me. How did I know he blocked me? I have another IG account with a different name. I created it when I was still in college. His profile used to be private but then he made it public. I saw his new posts and stories. I checked the dates and it was the exact same time where he stopped messaging me. I never saw those posts and stories which meant he hid it from me before he blocked me. I saw his IG story with a girl and they were traveling together. In his post, he captioned the girl as 'his love'. I was heartbroken and I felt so stupid. I cried and mend my broken heart. I was like that for two months. It was funny because we started in August 2020 and ended in August 2022. Sadly, he never told me we were couple and maybe that's why he just did what he did. Although, I wished he would talked to me that he found someone and want to end things. I mean sure I would be heartbroken but I will let him go. I won't beg him to reconsider and stay. I just wanted closure but I guess what he did was closure enough.

I know it's ridiculous to get affected but I can't help it. When he blocked me, it felt like I was a piece of trash. Easy to throw away. It made me feel I was never important and not worth his time. To me, my worst fear became a reality. Now, I'm scared it's going to happen again once a guy reaches out or approaches me.

I want to fall in love and be happy but at the same time I'm afraid. I'm afraid he would leave and I don't want to get hurt. The idea of him falling out of love for me at any time scares me.

Night Class

I was a college student at that time. My university is one of the best and oldest university in the Philippines. What's more interesting, my school is one of the most haunted places in the country. A lot of students and teachers claim they've seen ghosts in the classrooms, hallways and bathrooms. My block mates were scared hearing that our college building, Liberal Arts, have the most paranormal activity but I just laughed it off. I didn't believe in the supernatural or paranormal until it happened to me.

Every Monday, my last class would be from 5:00 p.m.– 7:00 p.m. on the fifth floor. When the bell rang, students quickly got out of the classroom once our professor permitted us to go. I told my two friends, I needed to go to the restroom before we leave. They told me they would wait for me at the ground floor and I agreed.

The girl's restroom has only three cubicles and one sink on the side. As I got inside, I was the only one in there. I went to the middle cubicle and did my business. While I was there, the restroom door opened and I heard footsteps shuffling on the tiled floor. I saw a shadow stood at the cubicle next to mine. The person opened it and entered.

After flushing the toilet, I came out and went to the sink to wash my hands. I glanced to my left and froze. The cubicle door next to mine was open and empty. I checked the other cubicle but it was also empty. A chill ran up to my spine because I could have sworn, I heard someone came in. I brushed off my fear and thought it was probably nothing. The person could have left quickly without me noticing it. I got out of the bathroom and at the far end of the hallway there was a girl who was staring out at the open window of the building. She could've been the one in the restroom earlier since it was just me and her on the fifth floor. The girl had long black hair that reached to her elbows and was wearing the university's school uniform only her skirt was a little longer. She turned and her tired eyes were on me. It made me feel uncomfortable.

"Weirdo?" I mumbled to myself which she gave me a small smile. She was being creepy.

Before I could tell her to cut it out, my phone pinged. My friend texted me to hurry up and I replied with an okay. After I press send, I looked up and the girl was gone. I was shocked and scanned the whole floor. She was really gone and I was all alone in the dark corridor.

The Liberal Arts building has only one staircase and there were no elevators. So, if she would leave the building, she should have taken the stairs. I was honestly scared so I ran down the stairs quickly and went to my friends.

I disregarded what happened and continued on the following days. I have concluded it was just a crazy student and no longer thought about it. Monday came again and my friends and I were almost out of the university when I found out I left my book in the classroom. I told them I'll get it quickly and to wait for me.

Running back to the classroom, the lights were still on. I got to my seat and grabbed my book. I was putting my book inside my backpack when the lights started flickering. With hurried steps, I went for the door but it was locked and so was the other door. I checked the door window to check if the janitor or anyone was around. I began pounding on the door and shouted so that someone could come and help me. A few seconds later, the flickering stopped and everything was back to normal.

From the glass window of the door, I saw there was someone standing behind me. I turned around and it was the weird girl. Her head was slightly tilted to the side and she was staring at me. Then, a smile spread across her face. I was getting irritated with her creepy behavior. I've had enough.

"Will you knock it off?! You're creeping me out!" I snapped at her. She continued staring at me with her tired beady black eyes. Her smile became even wider until it reached her ears if that was even possible. My heart thudded loudly and my body was trembling. There was something dark and unnatural about her. It terrified me. I closed my eyes and started praying the Lord's prayer. Remembering my grandmother's advice, praying dispels the evil.

I continued on praying while I peeked through my eyelashes. My eyes widened in horror when the girl and I were face to face. Eye sockets trained on me while a wide smile still plastered on her face. Her hands clasped together on her chest while reciting the prayer with me. I stumbled on my words and the thing mocked me. I began to pray Hail Mary but it followed suit. Tears were running down my face and my back hit the door. I attempted to open the door again but failed. I closed my eyes and slid down the floor. It crouched down still mocking my recited prayer. I could feel its foul breath fanning my face while telling me to open my eyes and grazed my cheek with its sharp nail.

All of a sudden, I fell on my back. I screamed and thrashed when multiple arms grabbed me. When I heard two familiar voices, my eyes shot open and saw my friends and the janitor giving me concerned looks. They helped me standd up and carried my things for me. My friends told me I've been gone for so long and got worried. Luckily, they saw the janitor and asked him to accompany them. I gave them a small smile and thanked them for coming for me.

After that incident, I dropped out from the night class and took another class with an earlier schedule. I never wanted to encounter her again. I decided to keep what I experience a secret.

To this day, the memory still haunts me. I never came back to the university after I graduated. I was still scared and whenever I hear people telling their paranormal experience. I believe them now. 

The Power of Worrying

It's normal for people to worry over something. This is the kind of thing we can't help feel. People have this belief when if they worry too much about something then the worst case scenario will be prevented. But, worrying too much on things can have a bad effect on us.

Worrying is defined as having an uneasy feeling or excessive concern on a situation or a problem. Being overly concerned, your mind and body would overdrive as you focus on the 'what ifs'. It drains you emotionally and it can cause you to have anxiety even panic. It also can leave your body feeling restless, causes stomach pain, insomnia and muscle tension.

It's hard to stop worrying if you're a chronic worrier. Like I said at first, worriers have beliefs, both negative and positive.

Negative Beliefs: people believe being constantly worried is harmful and can cause negative affect in your physical health. Also, people believe they will lose control over worrying and will take over you and it will never stop. In short, worrying over worrying can add to your anxiety and keeps it going.

Positive Beliefs: positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. People believe that worrying over something can help prevent bad things or prepares you for the worst and that can help you think of solutions to your problems. You think if you worry long enough then eventually you'll get a positive outcome. Also, for you, worrying over something is a way for you to ensure you don't overlook on things.

Chronic worrying is one of the major symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), an anxiety disorder that involves nervousness, tension and general feeling of uneasiness. But, the good news is there are ways for you to turn off those anxious thoughts. Once you realized worrying is the problem and not the solution, you can regain control. You can train your brain to be calm and see life in a balanced, less frightening outlook.

Steps to Worry Less:

Worry Period: Create a worry period. Choose a specific time where you can worry over things. For example, from 5:00 P.M. - 5:15 P.M. that's the only time for you to think and worry. After that, for the rest of the your time to your routine. It should be the same time every day and it's better to set it in an earlier time before going to bed.

Note It Down: As cliché as it sound for some people, writing down your worries can help you lessen those anxious thoughts. If an anxious thought came to your mind, note it down and remind yourself you can worry about it in your 'Worry Period'. Then, get yourself back to work or to your daily routine.

Go Over Your List: After writing down your worries, then it's time for you worry over it during your Worry Period. Looking over your list and examining it in this way, you'll realize it's easier to develop a more balanced point of view.

The Power of Worrying

It's normal for people to worry over something. This is the kind of thing we can't help feel. People have this belief when if they worry too much about something then the worst case scenario will be prevented. But, worrying too much on things can have a bad effect on us.

Worrying is defined as having an uneasy feeling or excessive concern on a situation or a problem. Being overly concerned, your mind and body would overdrive as you focus on the 'what ifs'. It drains you emotionally and it can cause you to have anxiety even panic. It also can leave your body feeling restless, causes stomach pain, insomnia and muscle tension.

It's hard to stop worrying if you're a chronic worrier. Like I said at first, worriers have beliefs, both negative and positive.

Negative Beliefs: people believe being constantly worried is harmful and can cause negative affect in your physical health. Also, people believe they will lose control over worrying and will take over you and it will never stop. In short, worrying over worrying can add to your anxiety and keeps it going.

Positive Beliefs: positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. People believe that worrying over something can help prevent bad things or prepares you for the worst and that can help you think of solutions to your problems. You think if you worry long enough then eventually you'll get a positive outcome. Also, for you, worrying over something is a way for you to ensure you don't overlook on things.

Chronic worrying is one of the major symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), an anxiety disorder that involves nervousness, tension and general feeling of uneasiness. But, the good news is there are ways for you to turn off those anxious thoughts. Once you realized worrying is the problem and not the solution, you can regain control. You can train your brain to be calm and see life in a balanced, less frightening outlook.

Steps to Worry Less:

Worry Period: Create a worry period. Choose a specific time where you can worry over things. For example, from 5:00 P.M. - 5:15 P.M. that's the only time for you to think and worry. After that, for the rest of the your time to your routine. It should be the same time every day and it's better to set it in an earlier time before going to bed.

Note It Down: As cliché as it sound for some people, writing down your worries can help you lessen those anxious thoughts. If an anxious thought came to your mind, note it down and remind yourself you can worry about it in your 'Worry Period'. Then, get yourself back to work or to your daily routine.

Go Over Your List: After writing down your worries, then it's time for you worry over it during your Worry Period. Looking over your list and examining it in this way, you'll realize it's easier to develop a more balanced point of view.

Gone Like A Ghost

You met someone in social media. At first, you ponder a bit whether to respond or not respond to the person's message. After much consideration, you gave it a go and reply. Later on, you two started messaging each other. Minutes turned into hours and you've realized how much you have in common and talking to them felt so comfortable.

A smile will spread on your face whenever you see a message from them. You instantly reply and for some reason, your day became brighter. Talking to them feels like your day is complete. Their sweet messages fill up your heart making you feel you're special. They made you feel you're the most important person to them and vice versa. A promise they made to you that you're the only one and you hold on to that.

You start having feelings with them. Investing emotions and time for them because you dream becoming together. You became vulnerable and share your emotions. You confess your feelings to them and so did they which made everything better. Gone were the dull and lonely days. Every day you're on cloud nine and everything seems to be so perfect. In your heart and mind, you finally found someone who accepts and appreciates you. But then, everything changed.

You notice the days they replied late or only seen your messages. They would tell you they're busy but you see them active on social media. The routine you have slowly changes. Long hours of talking became a few minutes. They became cold towards you and would contact you after a few days or weeks. You began to feel sad but you don't want to be that clingy person so you just nod your head and accept their reasons. You continue on messaging them while you adjust to your new routine.

Then one day, they completely stopped. You no longer receive any messages. They no longer contact you or even seen your messages. You see them active in social media but doesn't reply to your messages. You don't want to jump to conclusions so you wait. Unfortunately, you waited for nothing. All of a sudden, they cut you off without saying a proper goodbye. They disappear just like that. It's as if the time you had with each other was just a dream. It's as if you were nothing. It hurts because you thought what you had was special. You put them in a pedestal only to find out you were wrong about them.

You question yourself if you have done or said something. Maybe they're not interested with you anymore? Maybe they found someone else? Maybe something happened to them? Why did it end that way? Why didn't they say goodbye? Why didn't they give me closure? All the 'Maybes' and the 'whys' kept ringing inside your head. You wanted them to talk to you so you can have that closure.

There are times where you don't need words to get closure because their actions are the closure. The mere fact that they disappeared and cut you off means they no longer want you to be part of their lives. That is their way of saying 'no' to you.

As much as it hurts, they are not for you. No matter how much you wish they are. You need to accept that they are one of those people who enter your life temporarily. They never meant to stay.

For those who experienced being ghosted, I understand your pain and the hurt. Don't conceal it. You can cry it out. It's okay to let yourself be weak for a moment because you are allowed to feel whatever you're feeling.

But remember, don't let what happen to you make you think you're not good enough. You are more than enough. You are worthy to be loved. The time will come the right person will enter your life. For now, let yourself heal. Learn from what happened and slowly move on from it. When the time comes you're healed and ready to open your heart again, you now know what you truly want in a relationship and what type of person you want to be with.

Change of Taste

When I was a teenager, I used to have a crush on a guy from the upperclassmen. He was the heartthrob in our high school. Girls would swoon over him every time he walks by including me (but I do it in secret). I would mentally squeal every time he talks or smiles at me. In every interaction we had, I always would think the perfect Taylor Swift song for us. In my crazy mind, I thought he secretly like me but I was being silly hopeful teenager. He was smart, athletic, talented and handsome. The perfect guy in a teenage girls' dreams. For me, it was the type I was looking for.

As I got older, the standards I had for a guy from when I was a teenager changed. I want a man. Now, I'm not saying he has to look like Michael Morrone or Chris Evans (although, it would be a nice bonus if my man look like that.). I'm talking about a guy who thinks and acts like a man.

I want a man who would encourage and support me in my dreams. Someone who's responsible and mature. I want someone who has a goal and drive in his life. A man who's honest and loyal to me. A man who understands my feelings and also patient with me. Someone who would call me out if I did something wrong. I want a man who I can be vulnerable and communicate with. Also, both of us are attracted to one another.

I'm not looking for a short term relationship nor a fling. I want a true and honest relationship. A lifetime partner. It is what I want and need. I won't settle for less.

Social Anxiety Disorder

Most of us get shy or nervous when we're in a social situation. It could be talking in front of a class, presenting a business proposal, or walking into a crowded room. We feel uncomfortable, but we get through it eventually. However, for some people, this is a problem for them. People with social anxiety disorder see social situations as a nightmare.

Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as Social Phobia, is a type of anxiety disorder with extreme fear in social situations. People with this disorder tend to avoid all social contact like small talk or eye contact because engaging in these situations is too much for them and causes stress. The fear is limited to one or two particular cases like speaking in public, initiating conversation, or being anxious/afraid in social situations (dating, going to public restrooms, parties, and school).

Socially anxious people have an overwhelming fear of being judged or watched by others,embarrassed or humiliated, unintentionally offending someone, and being in the center of attention. They start to experience these physical symptoms:

rapid heartbeat

muscle tension

dizziness and lightheadedness

blushing

crying

sweating

stomach trouble and diarrhea

inability to catch a breath

out of body

These symptoms start, and they get anxious before an event. They spend weeks worrying and wasting their mental energy.

Causes

First is genetics. A person could be more at risk of having social phobia if a family member has one. Overactivity of the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls your fear response. A history of abuse, bullying, or teasing. Third, children with overbearing or controlling parents. Lastly, a health condition that draws attention to your appearance/voice.

Affects

Having social anxiety can prevent a person from living their life. Avoid situations that most people consider "normal" because they find it hard to understand how others can handle them easily. It also affects their relationships, and its result they have:

low self-esteem

negative thoughts

depression

sensitivity to criticism

poor social skills that don't improve

What Can You Do?

You may need treatment. Ask a doctor or therapist with experience treating social anxiety disorder. They can tell you if you have normal social anxiety or need medication and therapy.

Beautifully Imperfect

We are all crafted differently. In color, height, weight, built, and face. All of us have distinct marks that make us unique from one another. Beautifully crafted differently, but, not everybody appreciates our canvas.

Critics would criticize every flaw detail. Comment on the wrong stroke of lines and color of our canvas. Scoff at us that we are nowhere near perfection. Because of this, you dim your light and work on the imperfections. Change every detail. Straighten out the curved lines, and add or dampen the colors. Make it a goal to reach perfection. Then, you show yourself to the world again and wait for the validation. Instead of hearing praises, you received more criticisms and endless mocking. Then, you look at yourself and start pointing out the details. You no longer need to listen to them because you've become your critic. You've accepted you're a piece of work than a piece of art.

What is perfection? If you ask the people around you, they will tell you different definitions. You'll get confused because you won't get a definite answer. Perfection is different for everybody.

Soon, you've come to realize the criticisms are mere opinions. You shouldn't take it to heart. There's always criticism thrown at you, but it doesn't mean you need to catch it. You start to appreciate your craft and show your true colors again, only you shine even brighter this time.

 People would stop and stare at you. They became entranced and admired your canvas. There are still critics, but you can no longer be affected by their voices. You have accepted the imperfections and showcase that you are perfect just the way you are.

In other words, you are beautiful even with your imperfections. It is you who defines what true beauty is, not others. You are a beautiful canvas full of life and color. No one should say otherwise. It's like what Conrad Hall says "There is a kind of beauty in imperfection."

Beautifully Imperfect

We are all crafted differently. In color, height, weight, built, and face. All of us have distinct marks that make us unique from one another. Beautifully crafted differently, but, not everybody appreciates our canvas.

Critics would criticize every flaw detail. Comment on the wrong stroke of lines and color of our canvas. Scoff at us that we are nowhere near perfection. Because of this, you dim your light and work on the imperfections. Change every detail. Straighten out the curved lines, and add or dampen the colors. Make it a goal to reach perfection. Then, you show yourself to the world again and wait for the validation. Instead of hearing praises, you received more criticisms and endless mocking. Then, you look at yourself and start pointing out the details. You no longer need to listen to them because you've become your critic. You've accepted you're a piece of work than a piece of art.

What is perfection? If you ask the people around you, they will tell you different definitions. You'll get confused because you won't get a definite answer. Perfection is different for everybody.

Soon, you've come to realize the criticisms are mere opinions. You shouldn't take it to heart. There's always criticism thrown at you, but it doesn't mean you need to catch it. You start to appreciate your craft and show your true colors again, only you shine even brighter this time.

 People would stop and stare at you. They became entranced and admired your canvas. There are still critics, but you can no longer be affected by their voices. You have accepted the imperfections and showcase that you are perfect just the way you are.

In other words, you are beautiful even with your imperfections. It is you who defines what true beauty is, not others. You are a beautiful canvas full of life and color. No one should say otherwise. It's like what Conrad Hall says "There is a kind of beauty in imperfection."

The Pressures of Single Life

Ladies, how many times were you asked these questions? “So, anyone special in your life?”, “You’re 27 and still single?”, “When are you going to date?”, “Isn’t it lonely being single?”, “Are you scared of commitments? Is that why you’re single?” and a whole lot more. If yes, welcome to the club!

Your family, friends, the society expects you to be in a relationship since you are at the age where you need to start a family. It’s hard being single if you grew up in a traditional household. There is a lot of pressure and judgment when you’re single. People see you weird when you don’t have someone special in your life. They find it hard to believe that you’re happy being single.

It is sad because some people don’t understand why some women choose to be single. It’s not because of fear of commitments or no time. It is because you want to focus on your goals, find yourself, and learn more about life. Plain and simple. But, people still overanalyze your relationship status and would make ridiculous theories on why you’re still single. (Quite annoying, right?!).

Honestly, there was a point where the pressure got to me, and I started using Tinder and messaging guys on Instagram. Good thing, I came back to my senses and stopped everything. I reminded myself of the reason why I chose to be single. I want to focus on my goals, passion, finding myself, and discovering new things.

Look, I’m not saying you can’t do all those things if you’re in a relationship. But, if you think being single is the better choice to achieve your goals, then so be it. It only means that you have these priorities set on yourself. Being in a relationship is the least of your worries. It’s perfectly okay. Don’t be in a relationship just because you felt pressured or that society made you feel bad being single. Remind yourself why you chose to be single and carry on with your plans. Ignore people’s comments and opinions.

Now, if you’re single because of circumstances, remember you being single doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or undesirable. You might feel left behind when your friends or relatives are in a relationship or getting married. Then, you let people and yourself pressure you to get into a relationship or rush things so you won’t feel left behind. That’s the wrong way to start a relationship. The time you have right now being single, take it as an opportunity for personal growth. Set goals or remember your passion when you were young. Learn new things, travel, heal and find happiness within yourself. Be a better version of yourself when the time comes when you meet that special someone, you will be in a healthy relationship where you encourage and support one another. Trust the process and respect your pace.