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kelseyapperson · 8 days
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i wonder, if our shouts into the void find their way back to us, do our pleas to the internet do the same? if i beg for love, will i hear myself begging, an echo chamber of loneliness, forever hoping until i go mad?
they say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different outcome. and here i am, throwing out a line, hoping to catch something that makes it all feel worthwhile.
and here i will stay, silence returned to me, my soul rippling like the waves of a pond.
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kelseyapperson · 1 month
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I am not the upbeat whistle of your favorite tune
I am a lullaby in the dead of night
I am the wind blowing through the trees
I am the uncertainty churning
Inside me.
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kelseyapperson · 3 months
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Your trauma took up so much room in my life that I wasn't able to take up enough. Maybe that's why I seek comfort like a missing puzzle piece, trying and failing to fill the void inside me.
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kelseyapperson · 6 months
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words used to fall from my lips
like air from my lungs.
now they pile inside me,
trying to claw their way free.
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kelseyapperson · 8 months
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food for thought -
not hating is not the same as loving.
x
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kelseyapperson · 8 months
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you are magic interlocked in a finite frame and when they say energy is neither created or destroyed: i think of you.
the way the moon plays with your hair, your butterfly smile that makes my heart thudder, the way i love you in my bones.
every morning of every day, i want to wake up to you.
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kelseyapperson · 10 months
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kelseyapperson · 10 months
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i'm not who i was then
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kelseyapperson · 10 months
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i've spent so much of my life
making what i do my identity
that i don't even know
who i am.
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kelseyapperson · 10 months
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that's when i knew
& when i kiss your cheek
in the pale moonlight
i can taste the energy
of the rest of my life.
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kelseyapperson · 11 months
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you surge through the depths,
a torpedo hell-bent on your target,
leaving behind nothing but
wreckage and an inky abyss
so thick i cannot see the stars.
when i scream your name
it claims my lungs, forever
shipwrecked in your wake.
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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Galaxy Fables
The chain fit behind the calluses on his hand like a glove. When the boy moved, his rigid skin pulled taut but did not give. Decades gone by, and not once did he give.
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"What's that?" the boy asked, breaking the heavy silence between them. He pointed to the sky.
The man slowed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Filo," he said, his voice deep and foreign. He shook away the unease. "It is another world. Different than ours."
The boy was quiet as he mulled over the man's words. "Different how?"
"Come," the man said, continuing their trek. The boy did as he said, his small feet tripping slightly over the uneven terrain.
"Better," the man said after a few moments. "Better than here." He hoped the boy couldn't feel the weight of his words.
"I like it here," said the boy. "It's home."
The man couldn't force any words beyond the lump in his throat. For the first time in decades, tears stung at the corner of his eyes. He felt the boy's small hand wrap around his.
"I like being with you," the boy said matter of factly. The man nodded, his tread growing heavier.
"How much longer?" the boy asked with a yawn.
The man cleared his throat. "Just up ahead."
They walked in silence until a tall post appeared before them. The man led the boy to its base.
"What's this?" the boy asked, brow crumpled in confusion. The man didn't speak, attaching the chain to the post. The boy looked down at his wrists as the chain pulled.
"Ow, it hurts." The man bit his cheek, keeping his eyes on the chain. Behind them, an earsplitting screech ripped through the forest. The man bit harder, quickening his movements.
"What was that?" the boy asked, his eyes wide in panic. The man turned, walking away brusquely. "Don't leave me!"
The man didn't stop, choking down the taste of blood as he looked at the sky.
"Better," he thought.
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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Fizzy soda-pop. A sparkler on the 4th of July. Their nerves buzzed like a live-wire. 
They felt it all. Time moved around them like water, ebbing and flowing. For a second they thought they'd drown, but their mind wandered to the supernova inside them. 
Pain colored the edges of their vision, threatening to tear them apart. When they closed their eyes, an hour passed. They looked across the room.
"I love you," they lulled. The words did nothing to convey the way they needed her. Like breathing when the waves grew too tall.
She chuckled. "You're so high." Then, after a beat, she whispered. "I love you too."
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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i've gotten so good at hiding
i can't even find myself
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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i
am tired
in my bones
and in my soul
and in the darkest parts
of my tattered, time-worn heart.
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kelseyapperson · 1 year
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when i die
i want it to be
in her arms.
it's the only place
i've ever really felt safe.
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