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Zhongli: What do we say when making bread?
Venti: That’s the dough rising.
Zhongli: And what do we NOT say?
Venti: That’s the yeast fucking.
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Venti: [lays across a table seductively]
Venti: Hey- [table breaks]
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Thoma: If you don’t gently kiss your cats on their soft little foreheads, what the fuck are you even doing?
Ayato: Yelling at them for eating plastic.
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Xingqiu: I helped you when you got your foot stuck in the toilet!
Chongyun: No you didn’t! You just laughed and took pictures!
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Venti: On a scale of 1-10, how annoyed are you?
Zhongli: 8.
Venti: I can do better.
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[texting]
Diluc: Where the duck are you?
Diluc: Wait, duck autocorrect.
Diluc: *duck
Diluc: *duck
Diluc: *duck
Diluc: *duck
Kaeya: Goose.
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Itto: I may be an idiot… but I’m not stupid.
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Date: I love murder mysteries.
Ei, trying to impress them: I’ve been a suspect in, like, four murder cases.
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[Liyue]
Venti: Holy shit! Is that the ocean?
Zhongli: Yeah, that’s the ocean.
Venti: What’s on the other side of it?
Zhongli: Inazuma.
Venti: How long would it take-
Zhongli: Do not try to swim to Inazuma. Do not.
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Venti: I almost drowned and my last words would have been “Do you wanna hear my pigeon impression?”
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Venti, reading an eye chart: E, H, 4, M, potato, coffee mug, smudge, middle finger, smudge, and the rest are all smudges.
Jean: Oh my God, you drove us here.
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Itto: I love saying dumb shit.
Itto: It fuels me.
Itto: I thrive off my own stupidity.
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Itto to Thoma: Would you take a bullet for me?
Thoma: … Yes?
Kujou Sara: [Angrily bursts into the room]
Itto, already running away: Thanks!
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Zhongli: Let’s slow dance.
Venti: [does the macarena at ¼ speed]
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Zhongli: I can't believe none of you wished me a happy father's day.
Venti: You're not a dad.
Zhongli, points to Liyue's friends: Are you fucking kidding
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Hu Tao: Happy Father’s Day to the man who called the cops on me when he didn’t find me in my room, sleeping in the middle of the night and thought I snuck out of the house.
Hu Tao: I was downstairs in the kitchen eating cereal, and also 19.
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