fly-invisible - Tumblr blog

fly-invisible · 2 years

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I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

Movies and books also don't tell you that friendships don't just end after one fight or incident, it's like the rusting of a bridge, the slow decay of flesh and bones and secrets. It took weeks, months- until one day I woke up and I realized I hadn't thought of her in a while. And I wrote a poem that day and I titled it 'The dying of a best friend' and I put all my love for her in a tiny box with my half of the matching pendant of a dolphin we had and stored them in a corner of my heart under the heading Grief. Where else can one hide unspent love?

It's been 3 years since I lost my best friend, lost as in I still carry our secrets in a tiny box but we only text each other on our birthdays.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

Edit: here's the visualizer for this piece

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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(Chen Chen, Chapter VIII / Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray / Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger / Holly Black, The Cruel Prince / Anne Carson, Glass, Irony and God / Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest)

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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“Just between us” Sirius promised Remus after he found out Remus was a werewolf in their dormitory one winter morning.

“Just between us” Remus muttered to Sirius the first time they kissed, hidden away in a dark corridor.

“Just between us” James said, grinning at the marauders when they all turned human again after their first full moon together.

“Just between us” Regulus whispered to Kreacher in the cave, just before he drank the poison and was dragged into the lake.

“Just between us” Peter swore to James and Lily as they made him their secret keeper.

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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something which came into my mind, completely breaking my heart after so much time has passed, is the resemblance in the story of A Little Life and the Marauders from Harry Potter.

James Potter as Malcolm

Sirius Black as Willem

Peter Pettigrew as JB

and finally Remus Lupin as Jude

The ones that wanted to live the longest died first while the ones who longed death especially after their loved ones passed died last.

#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #james potter #peter pettigrew #marauders #mischief managed #harry potter #a little life #jude st francis #hey jude #hanya yanigahara #angst

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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i will never understand why americans write dates like that. it hurts my brain. it's just pure logic to go from day to month to year

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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I have heard about so many people reading a little life and feeling equally as touched as I currently feel. It was such an out-of-world experience that I canot really fathom what exactly happened when I finished its last pages. All I know is that I thought about it, specifically Jude, every day since I started reading this book. Occasionally I just start crying. Because in everything I see, I see him, at this point I start hearing him in everything I hear. Pink in the night by Mitski and I know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right can I try again; Want you back by 5sos I still dream for you; Arcade by Duncan Laurence loving you is a losing game. And even though it hurts, I also feel a kind of peace as well as a disturbance but all I know right now is that I never felt like this before, I never saw the world as I see it now and I never perceived life the way I do now. Jude St Francis.

#jude st francis #willem and jude #a little life #book #hanya yanigahara

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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Isak and Sana’s friendship - throughout the years

The last one gets really really long because I couldn’t stop - I kinda have so many more of these so remind me to do a part 2 sometime <3 if you like of course :)

when Isak and Sana have to prepare for their final exams in third year, Even helps Isak plan a big study session at their apartment.

there are colourful cushions all over the floor with books stacked in a pile.

Even has freshly baked brownies placed in the centre,

and calming music playing in the background.

Isak claps his hands, raises one eye brow at Sana and exclaims “lets do this”

they spend the afternoon quizzing each other, yelling at their text books and eating all the sugar Even throws at them before deciding they’ve had enough and going out for pizza

When they graduate, the two hug (something rare for both of them)

but they struggle to let go,

when they do Isak blinks his eyes

and Sana laughs at him for crying

I just got a fucking eyelash in my eye okay?!

mmhmm that’s it Isabel

but Isak doesn’t know that Sana is struggling not to cry either. Thank god she chose to wear waterproof mascara today.

Even forces the two to get together as he takes over a million photos of them

Eveeeeeen I think you got enough

Isak are you crying?

fy faen

Turns out the bio dream team ended up both studying at the university of Oslo

Isak is studying med, Sana is studying politics, but still….

somehow they manage to compete and challenge each other for the better

I can’t do this Sana, I give up. Why did I even bother, I am an idiot. I should just drop out

oh okay I didn’t realise you were a coward

what

you too scared of work huh?

sana nei I-

wanna do something easy?

but I just

or do you want to work hard and accomplish your dream like the nerd I know you are?

well when you put it like that

okay give me your book, I bet I can answer more questions than you

Isak grins

your on Sanasol

When Isak asks Even to marry him (by hiding the ring in their bottle of kardammome and insisting Even makes him a kardamomme sandwich even tho it tastes like balls) Sana is the first person he calls after screaming with the boy squad for an hour

SANA I DID IT

You learnt to tie your shoe laces? well Isak that’s-

nei Sana he said YES

she pauses for a few seconds before whispering “you did it?”

I DID IT

He said yes?

HE SAID YES

well of course he said yes, that boy looks at you like your god or something

that’s cos I am

okay stop

she smiles on the other end, her heart growing five sizes at the thought of her two best friends deciding to spend the rest of their lives together

congratulations Isak, I am so happy for you…you- you deserve this.

Isak is gonna cry

Sana?

yeah Isabel?

will you-okay don’t laugh but- will you be our maid of honour?

Sana is speechless

wh-why me?

are you kidding? Sana it all began with you…you and your 10%

her beautiful laugh chimes down the phone

your practically my fairy godmother

oh my gosh say that again and you’ll have to find another maid of honour

well Eskild is keen for the job actually

Sana laughs

fine i’ll do it

you’ll do it?

i’ll be honoured Isak

When Isak and Even bring home a baby girl from the hospital, Sana stands back as boy squad, girl squad, and the kollektivet fight over holding the tiny human.

Okay give her to uncle Mags!

Magnus you have literally just held her for 45 minutes, i get her for two seconds and you ask for her back? piss off, Eva says as she presses her face against the small little head

Language! not in front of the baby Noora says horrified,

Vilde grins i’m gonna make her the cutest little aerobics outfit

Is baby aerobics even a thing? Jonas asks as he grabs for the baby

nei back off! Eva says

your being a baby hog Eva

Eskild shakes his head disapprovingly

now give her to her gurumother

we told you that is not a thing Isak laughs

I like it Even grins causing Isak to whack him playfully

Mahdi finally manages to steal little evak from Eva and holds her up to his face

hello angel

oh great now we’ll never get her Jonas groans

Sana is standing in the back staring intently at the cute cartoon animals Even painted on the wall

are you going to hold her? Isak’s voice startles her

um what - uh nah I- I held her before

no you didn’t

yeah um i did

Isak gives her his snake glare

you don’t like my baby?

what? nei I

what’s wrong with my baby Sana?

oh my god

my baby not good enough for her aunt Sana

okay look

hold my baby Sana

Isak- kids are just…I like kids

you like kids?

yes I just

don’t like my kid

fy faen she breathes

LANGUAGE Noora shouts

Isak laughs

Even Linn held her, why won’t you

okay fine oh my god

She marches over to where Vilde and Eva are tickling the child which is gazing up with big blue eyes laughing at virtually nothing

give me the child she says

Vilde looks up are you sure

Sana rolls her eyes yes i’m sure

she picks up the baby awkwardly and stares at it

she doesn’t get the appeal

Hi baby she says the baby opens it’s mouth and drools

you don’t do much do you?

the baby crinkles it’s eyes in a smile the way Even does and grows red like Isak does when he is embarrassed (which is a lot)

suddenly Sana grows warm. she sits down with the little girl in her arms and smiles at her

well your not too bad I guess

suddenly she hears a flash from across the room

she looks up to see Even grinning behind a camera

GOT IT he says proudly high fiving Isak

Sana rolls her eyes you two are the worse she says

she shakes her head at the baby

your dads are so lame

the baby hums in agreement

i feel bad for you

the baby pouts

i do and look at those guys over there

she lifts the baby up to show her Mahdi and Magnus playing with a stuffed duck and a stuffed bunny

and then you have Vilde and Eva

she gestures to the girls who are giggling over the baby sock with their arms around each other

the baby coos

don’t it’s not cute

the baby tilts it’s head in interest

it’s not

the baby isn’t convinced

anyway then you have Noora and Eskild

the babies eyes follow where Sana is pointing

nei Eskild this is plastic, the baby can’t have plastic

oh my gosh Noora you are such a fun sucker

excuse me?

i’m the fun gurumother you’re gonna be the old hag she tricks into giving her money

You are going to poison her!

Sana rolls her eyes

a mess I tell ya

The baby looks over at Chris who is choreographing a dance routine to the nursery rhyme playing from the music box Noora gave the baby

Sana smiles, yeah okay she’s special, she says

the baby nods

Jonas and Linn are in the corner discussing capitalism

the baby raises her nonexistent eyebrows

yeah okay I was surprised about that development too

then she finally lets the little girl look at her parents who are laughing at Magnus and Mahdi and trying to tell Noora and Esklid to chillI

hope you realise how lucky you are Sana says pulling the baby close

I mean they are all crazy, but stick with me kid and i’ll help you through

The baby smiles, she likes that idea

the boys walk over to Sana after a few minutes

hows aunt Sana doing? Even asks

we have an understanding

She loves you Isak smiles, he loves seeing two of his favourite girls together like this

Even picks up his daughter “Okay Lily Flower time for lunch”

Isak grins brightly at seeing his baby in his mans arms

everyone is grinning actually

especially Sana

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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human

while going through hardships

seemingly beneath you,

we get overwhelmed so easily

that it seems glamorous edging on them

while forgetting that it is not more than that

the layers unfold and show

the darkness that with all of your hunger

you have been devouring on

like all of us do, like none of us do.

that is the beauty of being human,

this is the foolishness of being here that is us,

following the sheering glamour

which seems to leave traces of bruises,

lavish enough to not notice

until we realize the flames

which have been burning all along,

feeding off on us as much as we feed off on them,

as that is our beauty and this is what makes us human.

#poetry #poet #darkness #dark academia #sadness #writer #dark nights #flame #love #humanity #human nature #greed #jealousy #needy

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fly-invisible · 3 years

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‘Every single scene that Saoirse and I would wrestle in — that was our suggestion. Sometimes she’d be like, “God I really want to hit you.” And I’d be like, “Me too.” And then we’d have a little wrestle and a hug. That was genuine.’

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fly-invisible · 4 years

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“Do not awaken galaxies inside of someone if you are not even fond of stars.”

— Lucy Quin (via wnq-writers)

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fly-invisible · 4 years

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