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Heyy I read your period fic with cassian and I absolutely adored it! I love how you write cassian as a caring male...and honestly I would envision Helion the same too with his partner/mate when she is on her cycle...If its not too much of a hassle...i wanted to request a helion x reader fic where they are sleeping together but when reader wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that she has bled through the sheets and this is her first time having her period in front of Helion so she is terrified and nervous of Helion waking up and seeing the mess she has made..but Helion ends up waking up with only wanting to take care of the reader and help her with her crampsâ¤ď¸
Hi Anon, Yes, and as I have just fallen victim to my own cycle, I felt it was appropriate to get some Helion loving here because a high lord taking care of their mate in pain is Yummy!
I'm sorry this took so long!
Fuck Propriety
Helion X Autumn Court Fem Reader
Summary: You got your cycle for the first time staying over with your mate. When the High Lord of the Day Court finds you on the floor writhing from the pain, Helion begins to take care of you, whether you want it or not.
Content Warning: bad cramps, bleeding through sheets. Swearing, but the title makes that a given. A little bit of self-loathing sprinkled as well.
ACOTAR MASTERLIST
Unrelenting pain awoke you from your sleep. Creaking your eyes open as a wave of cramps attacked your body. Suppressing a whimper, you sat up, and the familiar sensation hit you, followed by the scent of your blood. Your eyes widened.
No. No. No. No.
You looked over at your sleeping mate, his brown toned back rising and falling with his breaths. Even in his sleep, Helion was regal. Shame swept over you like a violent current in the Summer Court. The first time you stayed with your mate in his court and you had gotten your cycle.
How could you be so careless?
You found out Helion was your mate 6 months ago. Swept up by his beauty and playful personality, you must have forgotten to keep track of your cycle. You spent most of your time admiring Helion and his freedom to express himself the rest spent making sure you were poised and presentable, suitable, for a High Lord just as your mother taught you. How living in the Autumn Court had taught you.
Helion's kindness and warmth had lowered your walls slightly, and you felt comfortable talking with him. Had you been keeping better track, you would have rescheduled your visit to the Day Court Your mother's voice rang loudly in your ears:
How would a High Lord trust you with an heir if you can't even keep track of your cycle?
Her words stinging in your mind as another wave of cramps hit you. Gritting your teeth to prevent you from crying out, you tried to move only for more pain to erupt from your abdomen. Sweat coating your brow, you breathed through the cramps, trying hard not to disturb the sleeping high lord beside you. Finally, the pain eased, and you gently slid out of the bed.
Turning back toward the mattress, you felt tears begin to form as a giant stain of blood glaring back at you. Your mother's voice rang out once more:
Stupid child, how can the High Lord ever respect a mate that sullies his finest sheets the first time she stays over?
You clenched your hands into fists so tightly you hadn't realized you broke skin, as two words kept repeating over and over.
Bad Mate. Bad Mate. Bad Mate.
You ran to the bathroom, right as you had shut the door, you were attacked by another aggressive wave of cramps. The pain over took your senses as you collapsed to the floor. The cool marble floor was a welcome reprieve to your feverish skin. You could only manage to focus on the pain you hadn't realized that you were screaming or that the bond was now open and everything you were feeling was being sent down the gold thread to Helion.
****************************************************
You heard your name being called repeatedly. You opened your eyes to meet the concerned golden hues of your mate's. Your body had fallen unconscious. You were so devoured by the pain to notice. "Sunshine, are you alright?" Helion's voice grounding you from the pain that began its relentless attack. He had laid your head on his lap his fingers running through your sweat coated hair.
"You aren't supposed to see me like this." You whimpered as your body rides out the pain, a fresh scent of copper flooding your nose as you cover your hands in embarrassment. "Go back to sleep, I promise I will be okay."
Helion's fingers pull from your hair and his hands engulfed your wrist, pulling them away from your face to see a fresh batch of tears. His dark brows furrowed, "You expect me to go to bed?"
You had forgotten about the bed sheets now soiled with your blood. "No, of course not, High Lord, not until I put clean sheets on, I will go-" You sit up and try to stand only for your cramps to send you back to your knees. A grunt of agony escaped your lips as toned muscular arms wrap around your waist and pull you back to a sitting position. He pulls your back flush with his bare chest, his body providing warmth to your clammy form. Helion places his hands over your womb, and his fingers begin to massage it, dissipating the pain. You sobbed at the relief his kneading does for the pain. Yet your mind still fought, "Helion, I have to clean up my me-"
Helion was swift to cut her off, "You will do no such thing. The only thing I you to do right now is sitting right here with me and listening. Can you do that for me, Sunshine?" You nodded your head and leaned against his shoulder. His hands found yours as he intertwined your fingers, providing you with a sense of calm. "Good, first things first, you are never to call me High Lord. Ever! Unless my head is in-between your delicious thighs, then you may moan out my title as much as you please."
You hummed at the thought of your mate's tongue against you, your eyes fluttered closed, and Helion chuckled at the scent of your arousal. Another round of pain hit you, and Helion adjusted his hold so your knees and back were secure and hoisted you up. With his magic, he filled the tub with steaming water, and with a snap of his fingers, the two of you were undressed. He placed you in the tub, a moan escaping your lips as the heat of the water began relaxing your muscles. Helion slid into the spot behind you and began rubbing your shoulders.
"Sedondly," Helion continued, "When you are ill or in pain, I am responsible for taking care of you. I promised you as much when the bond snapped into place. No, I will not let you clean up your bloody sheets. No, you will not be bathing alone on your cycle and trying to manage your pain alone. I will not allow it. I want to take care of you. So please let me know." His lips find the side of your head and presses lightly. His long dark curls fall down your shoulder as he moves his lips to your cheek and down your neck, causing you to giggle.
After he stopped his kisses, he turned your head so your eyes met his once more. "This last one is important, so pay attention." He sighed and placed a tender kiss to your lips, sending love down the bond. "You do not have to be prim and proper with me. You are mine. I will love you no matter what. I've been trying to get thay wall, your mother built around your heart, since we met. The wall that doesn't allow you to bask in the sunlight on a warm day. The one that doesn't allow you to dance with me in the kitchen like no one is watching. The one that doesn't let me kiss you in public, in front of our court."
"Our court?" You blinked.
His full lips curved into a grin, showing immaculate teeth, "Our court, did you think you were going back to Autumn after this visit, Sunshine." You blushed. That's exactly what you thought you should have known better.
You frowned slightly, "But It's not proper to sho-"
Helion growled, "Fuck Propiety! I love you. And I want everyone to know it." His eyes softened as he placed a tender kiss on your shoulder. "Sunshine, I want you to know how much I love you. I want to show you that love. I want you to feel comfortable showing me your emotions. If you were, maybe you would have woken me up to tell me what was going on. Because you weren't you didn't tell me and I woke up to feeling this heavy pain in my chest realizing the pain was shooting down the bond, the scent of your blood and you screaming in the bathroom. When I found you unconscious, I..." He paused, and you placed a hand on his cheek, turning your whole body to face him. He shook his head, the beads in his hair glimmering in the fae light. He gave you a sad smile as he leaned into your touch. "I just want you to be comfortable here to be who your truly are. To be able to express yourself and to ask me for help when you need it."
You bit your lip for a moment for a moment before whispering, "What if I don't know who I am?"
Helion's smile gave you butterflies in your stomach as he pressed his lips to yours. Pulling away he placed his forehead onto yours, "Then we will discover who you are together. What a fun adventure that will be." His tone held genuine excitement.
"And you will still love me?"-
"Until my dying breath, Sunshine." He kissed your you once more.
"I love you." You blurted out, heat rising to your cheeks at the confession.
Helion chuckled, "And I you, now let's get you cleaned up.
So Helion washed you from head to toe. As the two of you began to talk, you began to truly open up to him, and in the conversation, you forgot about the pain. He dried you off and gave you some linen to line your underwear to help with the bleeding, along with his shirt to wear, knowing you would find comfort in his scent.
He led you to the bedroom where there were fresh sheets, a steaming cup of tea, and a tonic for the pain. No male had ever been this attentive to your needs before. Tears began to run down your cheeks, and Helion was quick to kiss them away. "None of that. Come now." He had you sit on the edge of the bed where he tilted your chin up slightly and pressed the vial with the tonic to your lips, which your greedily took. Then he handed you the tea and made his way to his side of the bed. He watched as you placed the mug on the nightstand, and his arm snacked around your middle, gently pulling you toward his body. You laid down and adjusted yourself to face him. He kissed the tip of your nose and smiled, "Say it again, Sunshine."
You knew exactly what he was asking for. "I love you, Helion."
He pulled you close, your head laying on his bare chest. "I love you too." Your eyes drifted closed as you fell into a deep slumber, to the sound of your mate's heartbeat.
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Be Safe | Azriel x Reader
summary: you are on your way to Day Court when Azriel stops you. After the two of you fall victim to Cassian's and Mor's teasing, Azriel realizes why he can't just let you go.
warnings: fluff and a hint of suggestiveness at the beginning
note: I saw this tiktok and decided to write it into a little scenario because I loved it so much.
âOh, youâre going to love the Day Court,â Mor purrs with a grin. âAnd itâs High Lord. HelionâŚletâs just say his pegasus isnât the only thing youâll want to riââ
âOookay.â Cassian chimes in with a chuckle, placing his hand over Morâs mouth to keep her from finishing her sentence. âSettle down, Mor. We donât want her to love it too much!âÂ
âDonât worry, Iâll come back,â you respond and then laugh as Mor bites Cassianâs hand. "Besides, Rhys will be there and heâs, you know, my boss. This trip is purely professional.â
The three of you stand in the foyer of the town house, Cassian cradling his hand to his chest with a pointed look at Mor, who merely rolls her eyes. You were heading for Day Court, where Rhysand already waited for you. Cassian and Mor had stopped you, insisting on wishing you well before leaving, even though your mission was amicable. The only danger you could possibly encounter on your trip, it seems, would be Helionâs chambers. A welcomed danger, if Morâs insinuations were to hold truth.
âI should go now. I told Rhys I would be there within the next half hour almost an hour ago.â
As you gaze at your friends, a subtle ache tugs at your heartstrings, a silent yearning for anotherâs presence. Though you know he's currently engaged in a mission, you can't help but wish he were here beside you too.Â
You turn away from your friends, preparing to winnow to the Day Court. It's as though the Cauldron itself heard your unspoken longing. Just as you're about to step forward, a hand emerges from the depths of the shadows, halting you in your tracks with a gentle yet firm touch.
You turn back around, watching as the darkness seems to part for him, revealing those warm hazel eyes that could pierce through the darkest of nights. âAzriel,â you greet in pleasant surprise.
His eyes lock onto yours and you suddenly find it hard to breathe. âBe safe,â he murmurs, his voice deep yet sweet like honey. The way he looks at you, full of concern and something else you canât quite discern at the moment, sends a delightful warmth seeping into your heart.Â
Azrielâs gaze flickers down toward your intertwined hands and you notice the subtle tension that comes from his scarred hands before he abruptly lets yours go. Itâs a moment of vulnerability that makes your chest ache. You want to reach out for his hands again but he comes to stand by your side instead.
His arm brushes against yours. The dark tendrils dancing around his shoulders revel in your proximity, slithering down his arm and coiling around you in a cool embrace. You welcome his shadows, smiling softly when you feel them tug you closer to their master, deliberately enchanting you with the scent of cedar and night chilled mist. Itâs as if they donât want you to leave his side.
âI will,â you finally respond, your voice a mere whisper as you look up at him
Azrielâs gaze softens. The tension between you dissipates into something lighter, something magical. The world around seems to fade into darkness, leaving only the two of you suspended in a moment that feels both infinite and fleeting. No words are spoken yet so much is said.
Meanwhile, Cassian and Mor exchange a knowing look of their own. The mutual crushing between you and Azriel has been evident to everyone for years. Well, everyone, except for you and Azriel. Mor and Cassian will give you grace, as Azriel can be unreadable at times. But Azriel? The spymaster of the Night Court? How he cannot see your unmistakable crush on him is beyond them.
âBe safe,â Cassian says, mocking Azrielâs tone.Thereâs a mischievous gleam in his hazel orbs as he gazes down at Mor, pouting his lips in an exaggerated manner.Â
Morâs eyes light up, mirroring Cassianâs mischief. She leans in toward Cassianâs shoulderâthe very same way youâre doing with Azriel. Except, she wraps her arms around Cassianâs larger one, resting her head on his chest. âIâll be so safe,â she cooes, voice like velvet.
Azriel feels the heat rising to his neck. He turns to Cassian and Mor, gaze darkening with an icy glare. âStop,â he warns but it only encourages the two further.
They continue to hug each other and make kissing sounds. A blush creeps up your cheeks and you seek solace in Azrielâs arm, burying your face against it. Azrielâs wing instinctively curls around your form in a protective manner. Were you being that obvious? Your answer is immediately given as your hands gravitate towards each other once more.
 âStop it! Or Iâm going to kill you!â
Cassian pulls Mor even closer. His brows furrow, softening his expression as he directs his pout toward Azriel. âBut how would that keep us safe?â
None of you will be safe if you keep delaying y/n. Helion does not like to be kept waiting, echoes an all too familiar voiceâRhysâsâ through your minds. He leaves your mind as quickly as he entered it, lingering only in Azrielâs long enough to add: Let her go.
Azriel blinks, not realizing that throughout the teasing, his fingers had intertwined with yours. He turns his attention back to you, reluctantly releasing your hand. A sheepish expression takes over his features as he brings the hand that had been holding yours to rub the back of his neck.
âIâm sorry. I just canât help but worry when youâre not home,â Azriel admits quietly.
Mor and Cassian both let out a sound that Azriel is quick to stifle with his shadows.Â
âItâs only for a week,â you assure him as you open the door and step outside. You feel a flicker of anticipation tingling in your veins as you prepare to winnow. You turn back to face Azriel and your friends one more time.
âDonât miss me too much, okay?â
But I miss you already, Azriel thinks as he feels a strange stirring awakening deep in his chest. His shadows buzz around him in excitement.Â
âBye, y/n. Have fun but not too much fun!â Cassian calls out to you in mock warning over Azrielâs right shoulder.
Mor peeks out from Azrielâs left shoulder and winks at you. âBut if you do find yourself having too much fun, call for me, okay?âÂ
âSure,â you agree and Azriel fails to notice the reciprocated teasing in your tone.
Heâs too busy glancing between Cassian and Mor, hazel eyes wary. His shadows whisper to him, confirming the suggestiveness of their words. Uneasiness settles into his stomach, causing his entire body to tense up.
Heâs familiar with the flirtatious nature of the High Lord of the Day Court. Too familiar that he can already dreadfully anticipate the sweet words Helion will shower you with. His shadows stir, excitement morphing into panic. What if you fall victim to Helionâs charm?
Suddenly, he hates the idea of you going to Day.Â
As your gazes meet once more, an unseen force seems to settle into place. His eyes widen in realization, his mouth parting to utter your name, but itâs too late. Youâre already winnowing away and he lurches forward, after you, pulled by the golden threads that have wildly unfurled within his chest.
Mate. You're his mate.
note: I did not know how to end this so please don't come for me for ending it like this lol. Just know that Az is winnowing away to join you in Day Court right after. I hope you enjoyed! <3
general tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444, @lilah-asteria
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#reader#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction
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Band AU
Chronological Masterlist
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Description: Your friends invite you to a bar and you end up meeting someone that will change your life.
Tropes/Tags: Chance Meeting, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Band AU, College AU
Status: Ongoing
* means this story has smut
â We Could Be The Start of Something
â Darling, I'd Wait For You, Even If You Didn't Ask Me To
â Loose Lips and Big Feelings
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Stubborn Little Fox
~ Eris Vanserra X Reader
Summary: Eris struggles to look after his stubborn mate when you are sick.
Warnings: Poorly reader but itâs pretty much fluff. Maybe some suggestiveness.
Notes: Just a silly little fic to tide you over until I finish the angst Iâm writing. Dedicated to @sarawritestories who wrote me this exact scenario in an attempt to get me to stop writing and go to bed đ
Your bed was empty.
Again.Â
The wrinkled covers pulled back to reveal the bare sheets of where you had once laid, where Eris was supposed find you soundly sleeping upon entering the room.
The Autumn Prince cursed lowly under his breath, knuckles turning white with frustration as he tightly gripped onto the tray of food he had prepared for you.
It was easier to control his hounds - Eris thought as he carefully placed the tray down on the edge of the bed, lest he toss its contents onto the floor in his anger.
Eris was used to completing impossible jobs, and yet nothing has been more difficult than trying to wrangle his sick mate and convince you to sleep away your illness. Your inability to sit still making caring for you harder than Eris had initially anticipated.
He neednât try too hard to find you, a swift wander down the hall and to his office was all Eris needed to walk before he opened the door to find your sickly form hunched over his desk with a pen in hand. Scribbling away at whatever documents had been left for you once you had recovered.
It was impossible to stop the exasperated sigh which fell from his lips as he took in the paleness of your face and the worrying sheen of sweat which had coated it.
âAnd why, pray tell me, arenât you in bed where youâre supposed to be Little Fox?â Eris snarled, all comfort forgotten as he once more found himself trying to coax you back towards your bed.
With shaking hands you reluctantly place your pen down, guilty eyes meeting the burning stare of your mates unforgiving glare. âIâve got work to finish!â You defend, gesturing to the stack of paperwork which had only grown during your absence from your job.
At your excuse, the red-haired male inhaled deeply, a disbelieving hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. And it wasnât until Eris exhaled his frustrations that he allowed himself to reply as softly as he could, âwork can wait until youâre feeling better.â
âIt canât,â you reason, a disappointed sigh drawing from your sickly lips, âIâm far enough behind as it is. Another day without work and Iâll never be able to catch up. Besides, Iâm fine. I feel much better now.â
Whilst Eris prided himself on holding back the roll of his eyes which threatened to occur, he failed to stop the raise of his brow as you proceeded to burst into a fit of coughs after your weak-willed reassurances.
âAll better?â He mused, a small smirk finding its home on his lips as he watched you pitifully try to compose yourself. Innocent eyes meeting his own as your incessant coughing eventually came to a halt.
âI have to say Little Fox, if I didnât know any better Iâd say you like going against my ordersâ Eris chided, slowly walking towards you as he spoke. Each step forward drawing you deeper into his hypnotic trance. âWould I be correct in assuming you keep leaving your bed because you want me to scold you?â He asks teasingly, bringing his face down to meet yours, until his playful eyes were level with your own.
âI canât say Iâd hate it if you had to take care of meâ you replied honestly, unable to help the way your gaze drifted towards your mates slightly parted lips.
âIs that not what Iâve been doing all this time?â Eris feigns hurt which fails to read through his wicked smile, âTaking care of my mate?â
âI can think of a few more ways Iâd like to be taken care ofâ you answer, hoping to be seductive but ultimately failing as another round of coughs wrack your chest.
âLaterâ Eris chuckled, his strong arms coming to lift you from where you were sat, âfor now you need sleep.â
You furrow your brows in protest, opening your mouth to argue with your mate before he beat you to it. Erisâs soothing voice acting to calm you, âDonât worry, Iâm going to have to cuddle you just to make sure you donât run off anywhere else.â
Erisâs warm lips came to meet your aching forehead, his kiss already working to dissipate the uncomfortable pulsating of your sore temples. Your mates healing touch enough to already have you drifting off in his comforting embrace.
âMy stubborn Little Fox,â he uttered as he began to move back towards the bedroom which you shared, cradling you close to his body in hope that the heat which he emitted would soothe your aching joints, âyou better feel well again soon, Iâll be waiting to deliver your punishment for disobeying me.â
You hum happily in response, nuzzling your face into his warm chest to hide your smirk of anticipation, âIâm looking forward to it, My Prince.â
It was only once you woke, when your fever had broken and the ache in your muscles had quelled, that you noticed that Eris was no longer holding you. That it was his turn to escape the comfortable confines of your sheets which had now grown cold in his absence.
Stepping out from the warmth of your covers, you walked barefoot across the cold wooden floors. Seeking the ever-lasting warmth of your mate. You followed the call, moving through the hall until you found yourself outside his office, the strong scent of crackling wood and chestnuts enough to tell you the male was waiting inside.
Cracking open the door you peered inside, noting the way Eris was slumped over the freshly inked papers you had saved to work on when your health had improved.
Your mate - your selfless, loving mate - had completed them all. No doubt seeking to ease your worries and provide you with the extra hours of rest you would no doubt need once you had woken.
Quietly pulling the door to, you move to the kitchen to prepare your love a warming tea. Because as much as Eris longed to take care of those he loved so dearly, sometimes what he needed was for someone to take care of him in return.
#acotar#fanfic#acotar imagine#eris vanserra oneshot#eris vanserra imagine#eris vanserra x reader#eris imagine
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Nightmares & Dreams
Summary - Cassian just needed some physical contact to help him sleep.
A/N - Friendly reminder that canon cassian does like physical contact. Also, itâs short but I just needed to get something out there so here it is! 620 words.
*Donât repost or translate my work without my permission.
*These characters and world do not belong to me.
đâ¨đ
Cassian was known for many things. To the entirety of Prythian he was an Illyrian, a warrior, a GeneralââLord of Bloodshed. To his family he was a brother, a friend, a jokester, and a poor diplomat, who went to Ritaâs for the drinks, not the dancing.
His life was really rather simple. Get up, train, train some more, maybe make a few visits required of him. Eat, sleep. The sleep was less predictable. Somehow there was this magic belief that he was so strong and he really only suffered injuries. His work came with more than physical consequence.
Cassian had injured and killed countless people during his lifetime. When the carriage was over he often found himself vomiting, sometimes mourning his victimsââthe guilt pumping through his veins. Guilt that chased him even when he slept. He had become used to the lack of sleep. It wasnât uncommon for Cassian to wake up two or three times throughout the night from his nightmares. Flashes of death all around him, and then he was suddenly sitting up in his bed, in a cold sweat.
Cassian had also grown used to the following hour of lying awake, unable to get himself to fall back asleep. That hour alone with his thoughts, the images from the nightmares flashing before him. Then there were some mornings when he didnât try to fall back asleep. Those were the mornings that people took him as a dedicated warrior who rose extra early to train, not a general running from his nightmares.
Then you entered the picture. For the number of times he had been to Ritaâs Cassian questioned how you had never caught his eye. A beautiful female Illyrian freely dancing on the floor amongst others, lost in the music.
âCassian! Cassian! Did you⌠ohââ Mor said before realizing Cassian was already heading for you. She subtly smirked to herself.Â
Somehow between the many bodies and loud music, Cassian managed to find himself in an intimate conversation, one that flowed effortlessly. The following night Cassian found himself at Ritaâs again, but unlike past nights he didnât head straight to the bar.
âSheâs over there,â Mor said with a grin, pointing towards where you were dancing.Â
Cassian didnât respond, making his way to youââhis reputation parting the crowd for him. It happened again. Hours of conversation only this time Cassian found you in his bed that night. It felt like he had barely fallen asleep when he was plagued with a nightmare.
He stood in the middle of a field, everyone dead around him and then he saw Rhys, Feyre. Cassian turned his head to see Az and Mor. Nestaâs body over Elainâs, protecting her sister until her last breath. Then he was down in the library again and he was being dragged away down, down, down.Â
But for the first time something called to him, to pull him away from the Bryaxis. âGeneral? General?! Cassian!â
Everything blurred around him and suddenly was back in bedâŚnext to you. Cassian glanced over to you, his chest rising and falling rapidly.Â
âCassian,â you could see the panic in his eyes and without a second you wrapped the Lord of Bloodshed in your arms.
Cassian didnât protest, a fuzzy feeling filling his body. He adored physical contact. He clung to you like you were a lifeline, his arms tightly around your middle until his heartbeat slowed and for the first time in his life it didnât take an hour to find sleep, only half that time. Just before Cassian completely drifted off he felt a tug at his chest, a feeling he had waited for all his life, a feeling that told him you were his dream.
#cassian x reader#cassian acotar x reader#feyre x rhysand#cassian acotar#reader#feyre archeron#rhysand acotar#azriel acotar#mor acotar#bryaxis#nesta archeron#elain archeron#acotar fanfic#acotar fanfiction#acotar oneshot
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Death and His Reaper
Pairing: Reader x Azriel
Summary: After suffering a devastating injury in battle, Azriel finds himself on the brink of life and death where he meets you, The Mother's reaper.
Warnings: angsty fluff?, brief mentions of battle and injury, lil convos about life and its meaning, Azriel without his shadows, lowk love at first sight
Word Count: 13k
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
 Azriel could feel the hot, metallic taste of blood filling his mouth, the sharp sting of pain shooting through his body with each ragged breath. A pounding, almost unbearable, pain in his head consumed him, a relentless throb that pulsed with every beat of his heartâ each pulse sending waves of nausea washing over him. He tried to move, to shift away from the agony, but his limbs felt like stone, heavy and unresponsive. His muscles screamed in protest with every attempt to shift position, every movement met with waves of agony that radiated through his battered form.
Dark spots filled his vision as the ringing in his ears grew louder. Everything was fuzzy, hazy, blurs of movement and moving color. Azriel could hear sounds around him. Loud sounds, piercing sounds. Distantly, he could make out what he assumed were screams. He wasnât sure though, and wasn't able to think about it too hard. His shadows were whispering to him, louder and louder, but he couldnât hear them. The sound rattled in his brain as he blinked. Once. Twice. His vision became more unfocussed.
With a final, shuddering breath, the world dissolved into darkness.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
There was a humming in his ear when Azriel came to, a light vibration he wasnât familiar with. The ache in his body grew duller with every blinkâ his eyelids still heavy with pain, or exhaustion, he wasnât quite sure. One of the same, he guessed. He let a moment pass, taking deep breaths as he oriented himself. He laid in a bed, soft white sheets placed upon him gingerly. Had Feyre tucked him in? He thought for a moment. Why would Feyre tuck him in?Â
Another moment passed. Azriel became aware of his clothing, his body still strapped in his illyrian leathersâ leathers that were eerily clean. No smudges, no stains. Pushing himself upright, Azriel glanced around the room, his movements slow and unsteady. There was no one else in sight, no familiar faces to provide him with answers. He frowned, his brows knitting together in a puzzled expression. With a hesitant sigh, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, his muscles protesting at the sudden movement. He wavered for a moment, grasping for balance, before taking a cautious step forward.Â
He casted a casual glance towards the bed, rubbing his hands across his face in exhaustion as made a move towards the door, his thoughts scattered and disjointed. But then he stilled, his head quickly snapping back. Instead of an empty bed, Azriel's gaze fell upon his own body, lying prone and unmovingâ paled, almost colorless, wings hanging limply at his sides. He blinked, a flicker of confusion and fear knitting his brows as he registered the scene before him.Â
âQuite strange, isnât it?â
Azriel whipped his head around, his hand instinctively reaching for a dagger at his hip that he failed to find. His wings flared out angrily, fully extended with curled ends, each single claw at the apex poised and ready to strike. His eyes were wide as they focused on you.Â
You let out a quiet laugh, a gentle sound that caressed him like a comforting hand. He felt himself falter, a sense of confusion washing over him. Yet, within that confusion was a warmth that spread through him at your presence, at your voiceâ soft, like a faint ray of sunlight breaking through a storm cloud.
He fought the sudden urge to stand down, an odd sense of safety wrapping around him, unnerving him with the ease in which it filled him. He struggled back, pushing the feeling away. Stay guarded, stay ready, you are a threat. Yet even in his attempts, he recognized a slight release in the tension surrounding his shoulders, a small release in the stance of his wingsâ decisions he hadnât consciously made. With his eyes still trained on you, his hand searched the side of his thigh, his hip, the backside of his waistband. He patted frantically, fingers itching to find a form of protection. When his search came up empty once more, he settled for holding his other hand out towards you in warning, his palm facing you as his body fell into a defensive stance. The blue siphon on his hand glowed aggressively.Â
The corners of your mouth tilted into a small smile. âYou do that everytime.â
Azriel didnât return the gesture. Instead, he narrowed his eyes as he properly took you in. He scanned your body; the way you stood comfortably in front of him, your hands clasped together, placed delicately in front of your waist. It almost hurt to look at you, he observed. He had to squint to make out your features. And when he did, he was hit with one thought: you were beautiful.Â
He cursed himself for recognizing it, for letting the thought echo in his head. You were a threat, he reminded himself, a stranger in his home. He was confused, disoriented, and yet you stood in front of him, presence dripping in a calm ease. You stared at him with a look he couldnât discern, not when his mind was a muddled, confused, blurry mess. But the way you were looking, so expectant, so patientâ it made him slightly nauseated.Â
 âWho are you?â Azrielâs voice was loud and rough. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, a twitch in his wings, still extended wide. âWhat the hell are you talking about?â Â
Azriel scrambled for words, his head aching as he searched it for answers, for explanations. His confusion exposed him in a way that made him feel nakedâ at risk. None of it was right, not him standing over his own body, not him conversing with, what might possibly be, the most gorgeous female heâd ever seen, not the empty room around him. Was he dreaming? Was he being tortured?
You slowly lifted your hands in defense, remaining careful of how fast your movements were. âIâm not here to cause you any harm.â
A skeptical expression crossed his face. âThen why are you here?â He eyed you intently, his gaze scanning you as if sizing up a potential threat. His outstretched hand stayed unmoving, still on the defense. But you recognized a subtle shift in his posture, a slight calm flickering in his moving eyes.
Azriel was always the more difficult of the three to soothe. You had noticed this the last time, his wings shredded with ash arrows, his blood coating the floors beneath him. Even then, even through the exhaustion that bled into his unconscious mindâ into his soulâ he had fought you, acknowledged you with apprehension and distrust. You never blamed him, though. You understood. You would be fearful, confused, and defensive, too.Â
âIâm here to help you.âÂ
Your voice was lower now than it was before. A soft murmur. He recognized the cadence, the words. It felt like a voice heâd heard before but couldnât quite place.Â
"Who are you?" Azriel demanded as he frantically looked between his own body and you. He felt a sense of fear he wasn't accustomed to, a worry that either body would vanish were he to take his eyes away for too long. "What the hell is going on?"
You took a step forward as he turned to look upon his body, reaching an arm out to touch him, to begin to explain, when his head swiftly turned back to you. Azriel recoiled, taking a step away from you, his eyes scanning you againâ wide and wild. There was a rustle as his wings mirrored his actions, still extended aggressively, unmoving. You quickly stilled, realizing your mistake of initiating contact too soon. Your brows furrowed as you gave him an apologetic smile. You took a step back, settling to stand a bit further from him than you were before.Â
Hazel eyes watched your every movement, his body tense as you fixed yourself into place, standing in front of him with the small smile still on your faceâ it reeked of pity, he thought. It didnât feel right. No matter where he was, or who you were, he wasnât supposed to be this off guard, this jumpy.Â
His face fell as the realization hit him: he couldn't feel them. His companions, his protectors, his shadowsâ there were no whisperings in his ear, no cool trail as they snaked around his body. He hadnât noticed before, too distracted by you, by his lifeless form. The absence of his shadows explained this sudden vulnerabilityâ he was receiving no information on you. No intel about who you were, what weapons you may have, who was around to witness. As quick as the realization settled into his stomach, Azriel called out to them. He dropped one of his hands lower as if to make it easier for them to find him, to reach him, but nothing came. No cool touch on his body, no whispers. Instead, silence enveloped him as he took notice of motion around him, black wisps of smoke scattered throughout the room.Â
You watched his movements, watched as he examined himself, as he craned his head to scan his body. "They can sense you," you explained, gesturing towards the shadows that seemed to be bouncing around, slithering on the ground like they were blind and confused. Some rested on his unmoving body, some around his feet, but not quite on him. His wings began to retract and slump as Azrielâs face slightly fell, his mouth open and brows furrowed.Â
He looked down, observing his hands tentatively. âWhy arenât they with me?â Azriel asked. His voice was slightly strained. He didnât look up at you, his vision trained to his scarred hands, to the floor below him where shadows circled aimlessly. He felt an ache in his heart, a longing to be covered again, to be with them, to be protected. He felt too naked, stripped of every layer that protected himâ no shadows, no intel, bare before you.
âYour shadows are sentient,â you explained, âthey donât die with you.â
His head snapped up, hazel eyes meeting yours instantly, widened with disbelief. "Die?" he repeated, his eyes scanning yours. "What do you mean die?"
In a slight moment of shock, Azriel took an unconscious step forward. His body tensed, and you watched as the rest of his frame followed suit, the muscles in his jaw clenching. There was an evident unease in his face, tension etched into his features.
You maintained a stillness, a deliberate choice not to intrude further, to remain respectful of his boundaries. Your gaze held a mixture of understanding and patience, offering him a moment to process the information without feeling overwhelmed. Then, you softly asked, âWhere do you think you are, Azriel?â
His name sounded foreign on your tongue but he didnât have the space to acknowledge it, instead rummaging through his other thoughts. He blinked, taking in your question. A dull ache in his head creeped up on him, but your voice soothed it instantlyâ soft, comforting.Â
"I... I don't know," he stammered, voice low and quiet, void of any assertion it held moments prior. His eyes darted back and forth, attempting to piece together fragments of memory. His wings now mirrored his defeated stateâ limp and listless, curled in, the membrane hanging dejectedly.
Sensing his growing distress, you adjusted your approach. "What is the last thing you remember?"Â
Your voice, smooth like honey and warm like tea, flowed through him. For a moment, he allowed it to sit, allowed it to spread, letting it calm him in a way that he was fighting before. Â
"IâŚ" Azriel muttered to himself. Slowly, fragments of memory began to resurface, faint but discernible. He looked back at his body, examining it as if trying to find the missing pieces, memories popping up like distant echoes, flashing in the corners of his brain. The ache was back, slowly spreading throughout his head. âI was fighting.â
He looked back over his shoulder, twisting his body to peer at where his physical body lay in the bed, the colors of the room now registering with a strange clarity. Tandem disembodied flashbacks surged through his mindâflashes of fighting, the metallic taste of blood on his tongue, and the cacophony of clashing weapons. Each image hit him like a sudden jolt, disjointed and chaotic.
In one fragment, he could almost feel the weight of a blade in his hand, the strain of muscles as he swung it in a frenzied dance. Another flash brought back the distant echoes of shouted commands, the clash of metal on metal, and the acrid scent of sweat and blood lingering in the air. The blurry memories continued, each scene disconnected yet vivid in its brutality. He shivered as the ghost of each sensation trailed his body, a twitch in his wings as he recalled the injuries they had sustained.Â
Then, a searing pain in his head, a sharp and sudden ache that brought him to his knees in his mind's eye. The pain lingered in his skull like a phantom sensation, and with it, a realization began to form. His eyes met yours with a cold, distant understanding. A wave of sadness hit you.Â
"I'm dead,â he stated, his voice quiet, âAren't I?"
A sympathetic smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Not yet," you clarified, taking a step to move closer, the movement slow and deliberate. "You're in between."
"In between? In between where?"
You took a moment to look at him, your gaze lingering on his face. His eyes were darker now, troubled, as he stared back at you. âYour body,â You started, gesturing towards his sleeping form to guide his attention back to where it lay, âIt's still fighting.â
Azriel nodded slowly, taking in each of your words, digesting them, letting them sit. There was a shift in his expressionâa solemn understanding replacing the earlier confusion he once held. You continued.Â
 "Madja, she's a brilliant healer. She has brought back many from this same brink." Â
When Azriel looked back at you, you shifted your focus to his head, motioning with a gentle sweep of your hand, then directed your fingers towards your own temple. "And your mind," You said, "it's fighting too."Â
Azriel frowned. He was a soldier. He sustained many injuries before, had fought in battles that left him with gaping wounds, with his organs rearranged. This was nothing newâ so why was this different? Had he always been out this long?Â
You watched him intently, observing the way his thoughts seemed to churn beneath the surface, how he began to blink rapidly, how his brow furrowed. He was still confusedâ you could feel it. You let out a small sigh, running your eyes across his face.Â
"The injury you sustained was worse than any you've ever had," you explained, your voice steady. Flashes of his memories interjectedâhim fighting, soaring into the air only to be shot down, engaging in combat once again, his head colliding with something hard, the sickening sound of a crunch. "Not only to your body but to your head. You cracked your skull open completely, Azriel. The trauma of the infliction itself⌠well, let's say it damaged your brain. Heavily."
As Azriel looked directly at you, his hazel eyes glazed over with deep contemplation. He nodded absentmindedly, "Okay.â He said. He looked over to his unmoving form again.Â
With his attention fixated on his proper body, you took the time to observe him more closely, scanning his face and his body, taking in the details of his fighting leathers. Azriel was a visionâ your favorite male to visit, your favorite soul to see. You canât remember the first time you saw him, the first time he laid on a bed, a grasp away from death. You suppose it was centuries ago, when he first became a soldier. But even then, time escaped you.Â
Your gaze wandered to the wings adorning his back, now freed from their earlier alarmed nature, not fully extended but not fully kept back. You thought back to their wide and impressive extended form, the membrane between each robust wing bearing a faint sheen, casting a subtle shimmer in the ambient light. Even now they were mesmerizingâ the leathery texture, the powerful structure, the way they naturally framed his form. The tips of the expansive wings curved slightly, giving Azriel an imposing yet graceful appearance, even among current circumstances. Azriel's voice brought you back to attention.Â
"So I'm stuck here?"Â
"For now."Â You responded, your voice carrying a gentle reassurance. The look on his face, only beginning to finally process his reality, pushed you to postpone any further explanations. Time was not an issue, not now.Â
"And you are..." Azriel's voice trailed off.
"Y/n," you answered.Â
He let the name sink in, repeating it with a slow, deliberate pace, "Y/n."Â
âYes.â You nodded.
âAnd youâre here to help me.â
Another nod. âYes.â
He rolled his shoulders as something that resembled a skeptical scowl slowly made its way through his face. Then, Azriel squinted his eyes at you. âHow do I know youâre telling the truth?â
You couldn't help itâa small laugh escaped you, echoing softly in the room. The sound made Azriel jolt back slightly, caught off guard. Dying it down with a small, genuine smile on your face, you caught Azrielâs uncomfortable gaze, his wings now extended slightly, the corners of his lips downturned in confusion.
"Iâm- Iâm sorry,â You said, clearing your throat. âIt's just... you are curious this time around.âÂ
Azriel's hazel eyes widened in shock, his brows furrowing in confusion. "Thisâ this time around?â His eyes rapidly scanned your face with a deep intensity. Faintly, he recalled your earlier comment, the laugh when you said that he reacted the same way every time. âHave we met before?"
You offered him a small smile as you said, "Many times.â
Azriel let out a deep breath. Here he stood, suspended between life and something else entirely, facing someone who knew him in a way that he couldnât even remember. A sense of anxiety filled his chest. He wished for his shadows now, for them to wrap themselves around his arms, around his neck, to offer some calm. He searched you for any sign of deception, looked at the way your eyes followed him, the stance that you held. But all he found was a sense of sincerity and tenderness.Â
âYour family tends to face death a lot more than others in Prythian,â you explained, âYou and your brothers especially."Â
At the mention of his brothers, Azriel's heart dropped, a heaviness settling in his chest. Thoughts of his family rushed inâwondering who had found him, the worry that surely gripped them. He straightened up, a sense of urgency urging him to survey his surroundings. His family⌠His gaze moved beyond you, taking in the details of the room. It was his guest suite in the River House, the room heâd stay in when he came to visit Rhysand and Feyre, the room they would drag him into when he needed to rest or heal. It was his room. Yet, there were no sounds of people, no familiar voicesâjust the quiet emptiness that surrounded him, surrounded you both. Surely they would be near him, Azriel thought, Madja at the least.
"Where is everyone?" He asked, still scanning the room. He walked towards the large windows, taking in the nighttime view, gorgeous and stillâ mountains covered in snow, a city lit by moonlight.Â
âHere, it's just you," you said gently.
Azriel turned to face you once more, a flicker of sadness crossing his features. He didnât ask for any further explanation, a sense of exhaustion heavily weighing on him. His eyes bore into yours. "And you. You exist here too.âÂ
âI do.â
He took a step towards you, wings rustling in their position behind his back. Azriel scanned your face, hazel eyes reflecting a mix of curiosity and weariness. He wasnât afraid of you, didnât believe you were a threatâ not anymore, at least. But you were still here, in this state of existence that only he was in.Â
âWhy?â
The question was pure curiosity, not a hint of distrust or malice within it. You observed him, noting how he seemed to have settled, the tension in his frame easing. Instead, a subtle sadness lingered, a reflection of longing. Azriel loved his family, this much you knew. He was a devoted male, devoted to serving those he loved, devoted to his position, to his duties. Of course he was missing his family. Your heart ached.Â
"I'm here to help," you assured, "Iâm to stay while you heal, or untilâ"
âUntil I stopâŚâ Azriel finished the sentence, a quiet acceptance in his voice. "And then you guide me."
You were taken aback as Azriel's hazel eyes locked onto yours, a moment of realization passing between you. Usually, it was you who revealed your purpose to those you reaped, explaining the meaning of your duties, easing their worries. You blinked, your head tilting back slightly as you clasped your hands together. Azriel continued, stating with a quiet certainty, "You're a reaper."
You nodded, titling your head as you took in his face, his brows slightly knitted. âI am.âÂ
You werenât supposed to be doing this. In situations like these, where they were stuck between the life before and the life after, you were to leave them in peaceâ wait until they decided or their body decided for them. It was never intended for you to stay with them during the waiting period, to keep them company. No, this was something you felt inclined to do. You couldnât leave Azriel if you wanted to, it felt wrongâ and you didnât want to. Not one bit.Â
"You weren't what I expected," Azriel admitted.
Azriel had a faint idea of your kind, of your duties. He heard accounts of near-death experiences, tales of encountering a radiant light, foggy memories and beliefs of meeting a beautiful entityâwhatever that meant. He always wrote them off as distant narratives, existing in the realms of folklore and imagination. He would have never imagined something like you â something so⌠delicate.Â
Curiosity lingered in your gaze as you asked, "What did you expect?"Â
"I don't know," Azriel replied honestly, his head beginning to throb and ache again. A hand instinctively rose to the back of his scalp, fingers rubbing at the tension that surfaced. The ache radiated through his skull as he massaged his hairline. You recognized the discomfort with a small frown, playing with your hands as you observed him for a moment.Â
 "Azriel,â You spoke, drawing his attention back to you, âI'm going to give you some time to process everything. Explore, think. When you're ready, and if you want to, you can find me then."
Azriel looked at you, uncertainty drawn across his features. "How will I know where you are?â
"Youâll know.â A soft smile played on your lips as you reassured him. âTrust me.â
As you left, Azriel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the quiet expanse embrace him. Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
You were right. Azriel knew exactly where to find you. How we knew, he didnât know. He wasnât even aware of how he got to you, how he managed to move. One moment he was wandering, taking in the quiet halls of the house, the next he was thinking of you, seeking you outâ and then he was here, watching you.Â
It was dark out still, a fresh night breeze in the air. Azriel stood for a moment, taking in his surroundingsâa small clearing nestled between two towering mountains covered in snow. The landscape was rugged, the terrain too harsh to be in the vicinity of Velaris. Somewhere beyond the borders of Illyria, he concluded. He turned his focus back to you. Draped in a simple cream-colored dress, you stood at the edge of the clearing, your silhouette softly illuminated by the glow of the full moon that hung in the sky. The moonlight painted the terrain around you with a soft, silvery hue, casting long shadows that danced across the uneven ground.Â
âHi, Azriel.â The words left your mouth before you turned your head to look at him. When your eyes met his, you gave him a smile. He faltered for a moment.
âHello⌠Y/n.â He said your name quietly, adding it onto his greeting tentatively, as if he was testing how it felt on his tongue. He liked it, he decided. It tasted sweet.Â
You turned your head back to the view in front of you, and Azriel took it as an unspoken invitation. Slowly, he found himself walking towards you, the snow crunching beneath his boots. You both stood in silence, and Azriel found a sense of calm rolling through him. Taking a deep breath, he let his wings unfurl slightly, not having noticed the tension they had been carrying, tucked tightly behind him.
Azriel turned to gaze at you. You stood still, eyes trained forward on the view before you. Your focus prompted him to take in the sight once more, bringing his attention back to the vast expanse ahead.
"Where are we?" he asked, his voice low and steady.
It was now your turn to look at him, to observe the side of his face as he looked forward. The faint glow of the moonlight casted shadows on the contours of his face. He looked almost holy, something devout and ethereal. "You donât recognize it?â
Your question led to a contemplative frown creasing his brow and he turned his head, taking in the soft smile on your face. âShould I?â
You turned your body fully to face him, craning your head to look up at him. There was a subtle shift in his expression as your eyes met. You nodded toward the view, a gentle encouragement.
âLook again.âÂ
And he did.Â
Then, his gaze softened, a hint of recognition flickering in his eyes. Azriel's shoulders fell, a subtle release of tension, and his wings shuddered softly. "I used to come here," he said quietly, "A long time ago⌠I used to come here."
His eyes shifted between you and the view. You met his gaze, nodding in silent understanding, leaving a space of silence that invited him to continue talking if he desired toâ if he was comfortable.Â
"I found it flying one night," he continued. His memories now seemed to dance in his mind, distant yet vivid, a time before Amarantha, before Koshei. A faint smile ghosted his lips. âI'd find time between missions to come here and just breathe. Now I could never validate wasting time to be here, doing nothing."
You let out a small hum. âTaking time to breathe is never a waste.â
Azriel turned to look at you. "How did you..."Â
"Know about this?" you finished for him. He nodded.
You smiled, the expression warm and animated. Holding your arms in front, one hand cradling each elbow, you continued, "I could feel it. Part of our duty," your voice carried a gentle honesty. "The Mother helps us to find your peace."
Azriel's gaze scanned you again, a subtle curiosity in his eyes. His attention shifted to your arms, and then to the snow-covered surroundings. "Are you cold?" he asked, concern lacing his words. Instinctively, he placed a hand on your bicep, but quickly retracted it when he registered the movement.Â
You kept your gaze locked with his, unfazed. "No," you replied calmly, and then added, "Neither are you."
Azriel blinked, and then he looked down at himself, his eyes scanning his own body, his arms. He wasnât cold. He thought back to every time he had visited this place, this lookout. Being so high up made the air nippy, made the breeze coldâ he always wore an extra layer. But here he stood, alongside you, and all he could feel was a sense of warmth. Interesting. It was all so interesting to him.Â
Azriel nodded to himself, turning to face forward again. He traced the tops of the snow-covered mountains, the valley below. You remained sideways for a moment, watching him as he processed the image before him. Another moment passed and then you, too, turned to face forward, mirroring his contemplative posture.Â
âSo, what does it all mean?â He asked, his voice a low murmur.Â
You stilled, rubbing your lips together as you took in his question. You glanced to the side, his eyes still trained before him. It wasnât the view he was talking about, you knew this. He was asking the question many before him had, wondering about the purpose of life, the answer to their troubles. You thought for a moment, pondering on what to tell him. There were no right responses hereâ at least, none that you thought would satisfy him. So, you answered from your heart.
âDoes it have to mean something?â
Azrielâs head turned to you. âYes,â He said, all too fast. It had to mean something. His entire existence, his suffering, every life he had takenâ it had to mean something. He needed it to mean something. The agony he had lived with, the anger he wore as second skin, it was all for something⌠for some reason. He needed it to be. So he continued, âIt has to.â
You studied him, watching the subtle shifts in his demeanor, the weight of his gaze lingering on youâ there was something in his eyes, a sense of desperation, of fear. You took a deep breath, and then you offered an understanding smile.
âThen it means whatever you need it to mean.â
Azriel frowned.
âThat isnât an answer.â
You tilted your head slightly, looking at him for a moment before you responded. âWell,â You said, "Perhaps you asked the wrong question.â
âWhat do you mean?â His brows knitted together, forming a furrowed line of confusion on his forehead. Faintly, in the back of his head, an ache gnawed at him.Â
Facing each other now, you maintained eye contact as he looked at you intently. âAsk me what you really want to, Azriel.â
âI-I donât know what youâre talking about.â There was a tinge of frustration in his voice, delicately mixed into the confusion that laced it.Â
You simply shrugged, giving him a close-mouthed smile. âYou will.â
In normal circumstances, your elusive answers would have driven him crazyâ he would be suspicious of you, find a sense of guilt in your failure to give proper, concrete responses. But he wasnât in a normal circumstance, and you werenât a threat. These were two things he knew, now, for sure. So he took your answers, as ambiguous as they were, and let them sit with him in the comfortable, cool, silence.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
Azriel found you again by the Sidra, walking along the cobblestone streets of Velaris. It was the same again, him being able to find you without so much as a second guess. It was daytime now, he noticed. The sun shone brightly, casting a warm glow onto the city streets, filling his body with a comfortable, familiar, warmth. A few steps ahead of him, you stilled, turning around gracefully to face him.Â
âHello Azriel.âÂ
He stopped, making a motion to look around as if he were to find someone else, another person you might be referring to. Quickly he remembered that it was just you and him in this plane, in this form of his existence. He cleared his throat.
âY/n,â He greeted, with a small nod of his head.Â
He walked towards you, stopping into place in front of you, a few feet ahead. The sunlight hit your back, creating a soft, radiant glow around your silhouetteâ it outlined your figure, forming a subtle halo around your head that seemed to blend with the warmth of the sun. It almost looked as if the sunlight itself was embracing you, framing your presence with a touch of radiance. Azriel took a moment to admire it.Â
He realized seconds later that heâd stared for too long, that you were now gazing up at him expectantly, eyes scanning his face.Â
Azriel wasnât much of a talker, not around strangers, and sometimes not even his own family. It was never that he didnât have things to sayâ quite the opposite, really. Az thought about everything, and he thought about it all very deeply. He had too much to say, too much that heâd observed. But now, in front of you, his mind was drawing blanks. He thought back to how, not long ago, you both stood on a snowy mountain, looking into the comfortable darkness of the night. How time worked here, with you, he didnât know. It didnât bother him, however, not like it did when he first woke up. In fact, he had begun to enjoy it. To enjoy how free it was, how there were no rules, no expectations, no missions.Â
Azriel paused, his thoughts swirling, and then, almost as if caught off guard by his own words, he blurted out, "I would like to show you something."Â
You blinked in surprise, your mouth parting slightly as your heart seemed to skip a beat, carefully falling back into a rhythmic melody. A smile spread across your featuresâ a broad, teeth-revealing smile. The corners of Azrielâs lips turned up in response. If you didnât know any better, you would have described the smile as almost awkward in its delivery. Though modest, it still held a certain beauty as it graced his face. The lines that had once etched across his features seemed to smooth out, replaced by silent calm evident in the softening of his gaze, the subtle curve of that smile. Your own smile settled into a close-lipped one, and you gently pulled your bottom lip with your teeth before nodding your head. Â
âLead the way, Azriel," you said, and he began walking, but not without a quick glance back at you, ensuring you were following his lead. As you walked beside him at a comfortable pace, his wings fanned out comfortably. Their immense size allowed them to extend behind you, and even though you walked at his pace, you could feel their presence above you.
The streets of Velaris unfolded before you as you walked alongside Azriel. You took it all inâ the beauty of the city, its intricate architecture and vibrant atmosphere. It was always a pleasure to experience it, to breathe in its life. Even amidst the circumstances that brought you here, there was a sense of appreciation for the privilege of experiencing such a place. A sense of jealousy welled up within you. Envy for those who could lead a normal life hereâ those who could wake up, take a walk by the Sidra, greet their friends in the morning light. It all seemed so mundane, so easy. You pushed the thought away, not wanting to give it the air to breathe, the space to fester. You looked towards Azriel.
âWhere are we going?â You asked, as you both rounded a corner into a small alleyway. The space was narrow, causing you to fall into line behind him, your vision focusing on his wings. They were beautiful before, in the nighttime glow, but seeing them in such close proximity, with the sun casting through their membranes, it was a different experience. Such beautiful, beautiful things, you thought. You ached to run your fingertips across them.Â
He responded over his shoulder, "Aren't you supposed to know everything?"
You sensed a slight playful tone in his voice, letting out a small laugh at his question.Â
"That's not how it works," you replied, "I'm not The Mother."
Azriel stopped for a moment, causing you to skitter to a stop as well. He looked back, a puzzled expression crossing his face as he uttered a simple "huh."Â
You suddenly felt a vulnerability settling in, an awkward awareness of yourself and your proximity to him. Before it could fully take hold, Azriel resumed walking and you followed. The alleyway began to open up to a bigger road, allowing the space for you both to begin walking side by side once more.Â
"Azriel,â You said, casting a glance up at him, âIf you're leading me to some private area to kill me, I hate to tell you that it won't work."
He stopped, and then craned his head down to look at you. A nervous flutter danced in your chest as a sense of self-consciousness crept in. What a stupid joke to make, you thought. What if he believed you were making a crude reference to his duties as a spymasterâ assuming the worst of him and his abilities? Had you inadvertently touched on a sensitive subject in an attempt at humor? You weren't friends, you reminded yourself, there was still an expectation of professionalism to uphold. Azriel looked at you for a moment. And then another.
And then, he laughed. The sound, small and amused, radiated through your chest. You awkwardly joined in, unsure if your joke had landed or if it was something else entirely.
"Why would I kill the one who will bring me peace?" he asked, his words delivered with a touch of sincerity.Â
You let out a breath, taking in his face, the hazel of his eyes as he stared down at you. You smiled back at him, letting out another laugh, this time more certain and lighthearted. "Right, that would be foolish of you.â
You knew that Azriel was talking about your duties, about the job of a Reaper, not you specifically. But for a moment, you let yourself live in a fantasy, one where you weren't simply The Motherâs hand, where you didnât only exist here, in a space where no one remembered you.Â
Azriel beckoned you to walk into the bigger street. It was only a few more steps before you stopped, taking in the sight of a quaint shop before you, adorned with small tables and chairs, surrounded by hanging plants and flowers. The window boasted a delicately hand-painted logo: Fillings & Emulsions.
Azriel took notice of the silence surrounding you both, no hum of the usual Velaris life, no laughter, no murmured distant conversations. Yet, the shop still smelled like its usual selfâ a sweet, buttery aroma of delicate treats and pastries. Azriel breathed it in with a smile. He opened the door, a small jingle sounding above him where a tiny bell rang. He held it open for you to enter.
Your gaze swept across the interior, taking in the small tables and the glass display filled with pastries of various shapes and colors. Behind the counter, loaves of bread sat neatly on wooden shelves.
"I like coming here, when I have the time."Â
Wandering around and exploring the cozy pastry shop, your gaze casually shifted towards Azriel, who remained by the doorway. "You're a dessert person?" you asked as you continued to meander through the charming space.Â
âSometimes,â Azriel replied, walking further into the store. He looked around, taking in the familiar environment, the comforting decor. âBut they have these sour candies that I love. They come in this little gold box-â
âYou mean these?â
Now behind the counter, you turned around to face him, a small delicate gold box in your hand. The plastic cover revealed 12 small square gummies nestled inside, each in their own white wrapper. You looked up at him for confirmation. Azriel met your eyes before his gaze traveled down to your hands.
âYes,â he breathed, a small smile forming on his lips, âThose.â
You smiled at the response, slowly making your way back around the counter, a few feet away from where he stood. You surveyed the store, eyes bouncing to the different tables and mismatched chairs. âWhere do you usually sit?âÂ
 âI, uh, I donât.â Azriel cleared his throat. âI never have the time. And when I do, I usually just head home.âÂ
Azriel didnât explain further, didnât tell you his real reasons. It was true, he usually didnât have time to sit and leisurely enjoy a box of candies. But when he did, he was often too afraid to stay in the store itself.Â
Azriel knew he called attention, that his wings stuck out in stark contrast against the gentle streets of the city, the quiet hum of life. Heâd conditioned himself to appear smaller when walking around, to avoid direct eye contact so as to not intimidate those he passed. But even then, his presence was offputtingâ heâd catch citizens avoiding him, creating more distance between them or switching to the opposite side of the street. It was part of the job, he told himself. He was a large male, fully aware of how terrifying his stature could be, how frightening his own wings could beâ especially when fully extended. Not even to mention his scarred hands, ones that he was sure fae could imagine easily drenched in the blood of his enemies. He wore gloves when he could. He wasnât ashamed of themâ his handsâ not as much as before, but he was always acutely aware. Aware that they werenât normal, that they drew attention, that for the comfort of others, he hid them away.Â
He came to, his thoughts slowly dissipating as he registered his surroundings once more, his gaze landing on you. You looked at him with a small curiosity in your eyes.
âWell,â You said, taking a glance around, âWould you like to sit now?â
âI would.â He nodded, offering a small smile that carried a touch of timidity. It wasn't like before, no uncertainty or awkwardness, but rather a gentle expression that hinted at a reserved warmth.Â
âInside or outside?â
Azriel looked over his shoulder, towards the small door and the seating outside.Â
âOutside,â he replied.
A hum of agreement escaped your lips as you gave him a smile, taking a step to the side in order to walk around him, leading the way. The gentle jingle of the little doorbell echoed delicately as you stepped outside.
 Azriel followed you, watching as you approached a small steel table. The white paint was chipped, flaking off at certain areas of the legs, but you didnât seem to mind. The air felt crisp and clean, rays of sunshine peeking through alleyways and the tips of the stores that lined the street. Azriel took a moment to breathe it in, savoring the clarity that hung in the atmosphere, the silence. You pulled out your chair, the movement emitting a small screech as it slid against the cobblestones. Azriel walked to the table, standing opposite of you, and carefully took a seat.Â
As you slowly opened the box, Azriel adjusted himself in the seat. It was small, the steel back stiff and straight, making it hard for him to sit comfortably with his wings. After a small struggle, he settled into a position sitting up right, wings draping across each side of the chair. The frustration melted away as he took in his surroundings once more. He felt a certain peace heâd never felt before. A lightness in his movements, in his touch. The fresh air kissed his skin, a soft breeze whispered into his ears, threading itself through his hair.Â
âIs it always like this?â He asked.Â
You pulled the lid off the box, casting a glance up at him. Azrielâs head was turned sideways, his gaze following the curve of the streets.
âLike what?â
He looked at you, catching your eye. His face held a graceful calmness, brows slightly furrowed, and the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly. With a soft, velvety tone, he replied, "This peaceful."Â
Turning to the side, you quickly scanned over the streets, registering the simple beauty that surrounded you both. Turning back to him, a tender smile played on your lips.
âYes,â you replied, âIt is.â
Azriel's response was a simple silent contemplation. Leaning back with a subtle adjustment for comfort, his wings gently folded and his gaze fixed on the table. Azriel loved Velaris. But he would be lying if he said he didnât enjoy the peace of an empty city that graced him now. Sitting with you now, at a small table by the streets, was something he was never able to doâ not truly, not to this extent. He held the feeling close.Â
 "Which are your favorites?"Â
Your voice pulled Azriel back to reality. He blinked, and then he looked at you.Â
"The green ones.â
You picked up one of the green candies nestled in white wrapping and offered it to him. Your hands briefly touched as he gently accepted the candy from you. You felt the texture of his skin against yours, the small ridges formed by the scarred tissue that extended to his fingers.Â
Azriel waited for itâ the expected recoil from unintended contact, his body having been naturally accustomed to jump at the slightest of touches. However, this time, there was no involuntary withdrawal, no rush of icy embarrassment.Â
He was always so careful of his touch with Elain, acutely aware of how his hands looked against her immaculate skin. Although he refused to admit it, it bothered him deeply, how obvious it made his differences appear. Yet, that caution wasnât found now, in his movements with you. Instead, a sense of certainty filled him, a gentle nudge to his heart, a contentedness with himself and his presence. You were beautiful, graceful, kindâ and he didnât feel guilt when touching you, didnât feel as if he were about to taint something too beautiful for his hands.
You observed him as he stared at his hands, now resting on the table, the candy still in between his fingers. With a small movement, you gently cupped the side of one of them with your palm.Â
âAzriel,â You softly said, pulling his attention to you. âThey didnât feel this type of peaceâ didnât feel peace at all, actually.â
Azriel stayed quiet, his gaze now trained on where your hand touched his. You pulled your hand back, and Azriel's gaze followed. Then, almost imperceptibly, the hazel of his eyes brightened. There was something about the way you spoke to him, about how kind your voice was. They didnât feel peace. Your words rang in his head, a wave of relief passing through his body. It healed a part of him that he swore was broken, warmed his body like a summer's eve. He gave you a small smile.Â
You worried for a moment that you had forced thoughts onto him, ones that harbored pain and loneliness. But you felt it in your gut, a need to tell him, to let him know that they had suffered the way they deservedâ that his hands were solely a part of him, a body part, natural. And from his response, it seemed as if he understood what you were saying, and most importantly, that it resonated with him the way you wished it to. You returned your attention to the sour candies before you.
"Can I ask why you like these so much?"
Azriel looked at you, a close-mouthed smile forming. His eyes crinkled a bit, and then he explained, "My mother used to give me candies just like this when I was able to see her. I never figured out how she got them. She..." He trailed off, readjusting how he was sitting. His gaze met yours as he finished, "That's why."
You could sense the sadness now evident in his face, his wings rolling in closer to his body. You let out a small breath as a sudden pang of sympathy hit you.Â
"Let's talk about something else," you suggested, subtly shifting the focus as you played with the edges of the candy box
Azriel leaned forward quickly, his hand reaching out to gently rest on yours before either of you had the chance to register the movement. "It's alright,â he said softly. âI'd like to talk about this. I don't talk about her much.â
Your gaze lingered on his hand touching yours, on the warmth that spread through your skin at the contact. Be professional, you reminded yourself. This is not real.Â
With a genuine smile, you nodded, careful not to move a muscle, not wanting to disrupt the moment, to risk the chance of him retracting his hand. "Then please, I'd love to hear.â
And so he did. Azriel spoke of his mother, of growing up admiring her long hair and the way she smelled of pine and snow. He realized that he had never talked so much about himself, never shared such intimate details about his life. He realized, too, that he quite liked it. He liked talking to you. He liked you.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
Days and nights had passed, Azriel was sure of it, but he was never tired, never slept. Time worked so differently hereâ he wasnât aware of it passing, wasnât aware of what heâd done the day before or even hours prior. All he was aware of was the peace in his heart, how it radiated throughout his body, relieving him of centuries worth of tension. Amidst it all was you, a companion Azriel had grown to enjoyâ to adore, if he was being honest with himself.
You were kind and patient, welcoming in a way that had him opening up to you, telling you stories that heâd never dared to share with anyone else. There was no fear of being vulnerable here, with you, no threat he had to worry about, no anxiety regarding a new enemy or an evil to defeat. It was all so easy.Â
Azriel walked through the hallways of the House of Wind, taking in the familiar sense of home that filled it, the beauty of the sun-warmed stone. He found himself outside of his own room, staring in at the space. It was strange to think that his body, his real body, lay in another bedroom, in another homeâ in a form of existence that he no longer held. It was all so very strange. But he didnât mind, not anymore.
He felt you before he heard you, a gentle breeze fanning over him, a smell of sweetness filling his nose. He turned to face you, taking in your presence, the cream dress that adorned your figure. It was there again, the subtle halo around your head, framed by faint rays of sunlight.Â
âHello, Azriel.â You greeted with a large smile. He mirrored the gesture almost instantly.Â
âHello, y/n.âÂ
You took a few steps forward, craning your head to peer into the room behind him, past the doorway he stood under.Â
âIs this your room?âÂ
âYes,â He said, taking a step aside to allow for you to pass him as you entered. âOne of many. My family, they have many places to call home.â
âDo you miss them?â You asked, casting a glance over your shoulder as you moved around his room, âYour family, I mean.â
Azriel stilled for a moment. He hadnât thought of them as much as he would have expected, a part of him felt guilty for not being as heartbroken. He did miss his familyâ he was worried about them, about how they were doing, if his help was needed. But he didnât feel a rush to return to his life, no nauseating need to fix his current situation, to be healed and awake.Â
âYes.â He replied. He watched as you walked around, carefully taking in your surroundings. His room wasnât very interestingâ simple decorations that had already been placed before he took residence, various random books.Â
âWhere do you disappear to?â Azriel asked.Â
You turned to look at him, taking him in for the first time since you entered. It was still there, you noticed, the sense of calm on his face, the evidence of a serene ease. His eyes held a lightness that youâd seen grow since he first came to you. His shoulders were relaxed, his wings comfortably fanned out behind him in an open and unhurried sprawl.
To do your job, you thought. The duties of a Reaper. Visiting souls in distress, leading them to their peace swiftlyâ efficiently. Not staying with them, not keeping them company. No, those were things youâd reserved for Azriel. You only hoped that The Mother wasnât angry, that your affinity for him didnât disrupt a delicate balance.Â
âAs much as I enjoy our time together, I still have duties to fulfill,â You replied. âDid you miss me?â
You intended for it to be a joke, a lighthearted comment that would make him laughâ a melodic sound you had gotten used to recently, one that you savored and replayed in your mind. Yet Azrielâs eyes met yours with a serious gaze.Â
âYes,â He answered, his voice sincere. âI did.â
Something in your chest fluttered and your mouth parted, a pleasant shiver rolling through your body. There was a small heat that rose to your cheeks. For a moment, you looked at the floor, composing yourself before meeting his gaze again. A genuine smile graced your lips as you softly admitted, "I missed you, too."Â
A few moments later, you walked along Azriel as he shared stories about his home, his brothers, and the various experiences he'd had, absorbing each narrative with hungry ears. It was a beautiful thing to see, Azriel open and laughing, the smile on his lips as he recalled favorite memories. This house, The House of Wind as Azriel had called it, was filled with lifeâ his life. You could feel it everywhere as you walked. There was a small tug at your heart. He had a life. A beautiful, real life.Â
Eventually, you both stopped at a large window, the outside world spread before you in a breathtaking view. Azriel found his gaze dropping to the streets below, devoid of the usual bustling life he was used to. Faintly, a small ache hit the back of his head. He blinked it away. Then, he frowned slightly, a realization hitting him that he didnât enjoy seeing the streets emptyâ that something felt missing. He turned to look at you, brows furrowed.Â
"Do you ever get lonely?"Â
The question lingered in the air for a moment, stealing the air from your lungs. Why it seemed to strike, you couldnât tell, but it left a burn in its wake. You let out a deep breath as you looked up at Azriel.
âThe Mother blessed me with a duty that is fulfilling.â
Azriel looked at you, studying your response. A sense of sadness filled him, a gentle ache in his heart at the idea, at the image of you alone, wandering the empty streets. Softly, he spoke, "That's not what I asked."Â
A wave of emotion washed over you. There was a sanctity to your duties, to the job that you held. You were honored to help The Mother, to be the one that granted such peace. You never knew that you could feel such longing, such a desire to be someone else, something else, until you met Azriel the first time he crossed. And then the time after. And now.Â
 "Yes, Azriel,â you admitted, âI do.â
As you both stood in the quiet moment, the stunning view from the window still visible in your peripheral vision, you looked at Azriel. You took in his detailsâthe tousle of his hair, the gleam in his eyesâcommitting the scene to memory. This was an image you wanted to save forever, one of him so close, so connected.Â
Azriel broke the silence with another question, "Why do you do that? Say my name so often?"
You didnât realize that the frequency in which you used his name was noticeable. It rolled off your tongue so easily, so naturally. You thought about it for a moment, thought about the feeling you got before you said it.Â
"Would you prefer me to call you by something else?" you asked, tilting your head slightly as you observed Azriel's expressions. "Shadowsinger, or Spymaster?"
His response was immediate and he took a step forward as he spoke. "No," Azriel said, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability. "I-I like it."
You smiled at him. "I suppose I do it to make sure you feel seen."Â
A flicker of confusion crossed Azriel's face, his brows knitting together. "Seen?"
"To show you that you're not just what you do," you explained, your voice carrying a quiet sincerity. Your words trailed off softly. A beat passed, and then you added, "At least not to me."Â
In his hundreds of years of life, Azriel was never seen. He had been perceived, observed, even known, but never truly seen. Not like the way you looked at him, the way you allowed him to breathe, allowed him to exist as nothing more than simply Azriel.Â
Your gaze held seemed to see beyond the layers he had meticulously built around himself for so long, beyond the titles and responsibilities that often defined him. For the first time, he felt a sense of vulnerability mingled with reliefâa feeling of being understood in a way he hadn't experienced before, in a way he never felt he deserved. A warmth spread through his body, starting from the pit of his stomach and radiating outward, enveloping him in a comforting embrace.Â
Without even realizing it, his hand moved towards you, lifting a strand of your hair and gently holding it between his scarred fingers. In the past, he would have hesitated to touch another person so intimately, but in this moment, there was no hesitation, no sense of reluctance, only a pull to you and you only. Was this part of what it meant to be a Reaper? He wondered, to cause such comfort in those you kept company? To make them feel like this?Â
He watched the way the strand of hair caught the light, twirling it between his fingers with a tenderness he had never known himself capable of. He met your eyes, slightly widened, observing him intently. With a soft smile, Azriel spoke, "I see you too, Y/n.â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
His view was filled with rolling hills, vibrant in green hues, a gentle afternoon sun in the sky. In the distance, he could hear the faint sounds of babbling brooks and streams, a soothing melody that seemed to blend seamlessly with the rustle of the wind through the grass, through the leaves of the trees that surrounded you. Azriel understood why Mor was so fond of her estate, why she ran off to it when she could. If it was surrounded with views like this, with such quiet life, beautiful life, he would escape to it, too. Beside him, you lay on the soft grass, your hair spread out around you like a halo.Â
Despite the open air, Azriel felt groggy, his eyelids heavier than theyâd felt in a while. Something felt strange, a trickling sense of anxiety within his body. The wind in his hair and the air on his arms, on his wings, didnât feel the sameâ it wasnât as lively, wasnât as strong. There was a sharp throb in the back of his head, sending a sudden wave of pain crashing over him. He grimaced and let out a low groan.
Instinctively, you jumped up at the sound, angling your body to face him, concern painting your features. Your heart dropped as you watched him bring a hand to the back of his head, brows furrowed in discomfort.
Amidst pained groans, Azriel turned to you with a frown. "Iâm sorry. I just- I keep having these horrible headaches.â
You let out a small breath.
"It's because you're healing," you murmured softly, your voice tinged with sorrow. Your gaze lingered on him, sadness flickering across your features. When Azrielâs eyes met yours, you quickly blinked away any evidence of it, calling forward a gentle, unassuming, face.Â
His hand dropped slowly from the back of his head. "I am?" he echoed.
You extended your hand, hovering it gently over the back of his head where his hand had been moments ago. "This is where you damaged your skull," you explained softly,. "The injury that got you... Well, here. With me." Your gaze swept around the tranquil surroundings, a small, bittersweet smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Any progress in your physical body, you feel here too," you continued, your voice tender yet matter-of-fact. "The ache is calling you back."
"Back to my life," Azriel murmured, the words barely audible as they slipped from his lips, softening and fading before they fully formed.
You nodded, a lump in the back of your throat.Â
Azriel's expression shifted abruptly, a flash of tension replacing the settled calmness that had graced his face for quite some time now. "I don't want to go back," he said. It was a tone of voice youâd never heard from him before, a sense of desperation that didnât fit him.Â
 You shook your head gently. "You don't mean that.â
But Azriel remained resolute. Moving closer, he reached out, his hand coming to rest atop yours on your thigh. "I do," he insisted, his tone unwavering. âY/n, I do.â
âAzriel,â You said sternly. âYou have a life waiting for you, a long life.â
âBut Iâm so tired. All the time,Y/nâ he admitted, his voice heavy with weariness. âAnd this,â he gestured around him, his eyes lingering on the rolling green hills, "this is the most at peace Iâve ever felt."
You felt a selfish impulse, a desire to indulge in his fantasy, to urge him to stay, to fight against the inevitable pull back to reality. But you knew it wasn't fair, that it wasnât right. If you truly cared for someone, you had to be fair to them. And you cared for Azrielâ cared for him in a way youâd never felt before.Â
âBut itâs not real,â you interjected softly, leaning in, your brows furrowed, your forehead creased with concern. "This isnât a life.This isnât a realityâ this is an in-between. Sooner or later, you will find yourself on one end.â
Azriel couldnât understand. His heart hurt. Why werenât you agreeing with him? Why werenât you telling him to stay, convincing him it was worth it? This peace he felt with you, this quiet life you lived, he could stay. He would stay.Â
âYouâre real,â he whispered, his voice tinged with desperation. âAnd right now, this...â he trailed off, his gaze sweeping over your face, "this feels real to me.â
You took a deep breath, feeling knots tightening in your stomach, a lump forming in your throat. You swallowed down the words you wanted to say, replacing the ones on your tongue with those he needed to hear.Â
"I'm a Reaper," you said, reminding him of the inevitable separation it entailed. His eyes, a dark, almost sad brown, met yours. âReapers arenât meant to stay.â
The knots in your stomach were twisting now, weaving themselves through your ribs. It was hard for you to breathe, hard for you to look at Azriel as he stared at you with such clear hurt on his face. He couldnât stay. It wasnât natural. It wasnât the plan. Azriel was going to return to a life where he would not remember you, a life in which you didnât exist. And you would remain here, waiting in a form of existence that had no time.Â
"Your family misses you," you continued, your gaze unwavering as you locked eyes with him. The knots now wrapped around your heart, squeezing. "You still have things to do. They need you. You need them."
Surely your heart was about to burst, the pressure in your chest now overwhelmingâ crushing you, your heartbeat erratic.Â
âCome with me.â Azriel said.
You let out a small breath, a soft laugh escaping your lips at the absurdity of his suggestion. It sounded so simple, so easy, but you knew better. It wasn't that simple, life was never that easy. You were a Reaper. He was a soul. Before you could respond, Azriel continued, his voice still gentle but earnest.
"You'll love them. And you'll love Velaris when it is filled with people. With life."
His eyes bore into you, seemingly searching for something, trying to memorize every contour of your face, every flicker of emotion that danced across your features.Â
"I can't," you replied softly, your heart heavy with the weight of your duty. You shook your head again as you tightened your lips for a moment. "That's not how this works.â
Azriel's demeanor softened, a small breath of defeat escaping him as his wings drooped slightly. He took in everything you said, his gaze flickering down to where his hand still rested atop yours before meeting your eyes again.
"I donât want to leave you here," he said quietly.
Here, alone, he thought. It was true, everything was so beautiful in this form of existence. It was quiet, serene, and calm. The nights were beautiful, the days were glorious. But without you, it would have been empty. Void of life. He didnât want that for you, he couldnât bear the thought of leaving you in such a vast space. It felt wrong.Â
You recognized the concern in his eyes, realizing that his desperation stemmed from a place of caringâ caring for you. It struck a chord within you, stirring a bittersweet pang in your chest, right beside your rapidly beating, tied up heart. Somehow, knowing that he cared for you only made you care for him more, deepening the sorrow that lingered in you, the feeling that now coursed through your veins.Â
Tilting your head, you offered him a soft smile, a gesture of reassurance, you hoped. "Azriel," you said gently, your voice tinged with a warmth he had grown to love, "I'll be alright. I'm happy here. It's where I belong."
It wasnât all a lie. This was where you belonged, and you would be alright. But you werenât sure if youâd be happy. Happiness wasnât something you used to think of. You had a duty, a sacred, important duty, nothing else really matteredâ not yourself, not your desires, not your heart.Â
Azriel took in your answer, swallowing the urge to fight it, to convince you further. But the pleading in your eyes, coupled with the ache in his chest and the heaviness in his stomach, left him feeling defeated. With a resigned nod, he looked at you, his voice soft but determined.
"I'll find you," he whispered.
You blinked, caught off guard by the soft declaration.
"I'll find you," Azriel said again, his tone firmer, as if he were making a promise that he intended to keep.
You understood the sentiment behind his words, recognizing the determination in his eyes. You knew, without needing to discuss it, that as a skilled spymaster, he possessed the ability to find people. Yet, deep down, you also understood the inevitable truthâthat soon, he would forget you, forget the time you spent together. The thought caused a sharp ache in your heart, one you preferred not to dwell on.
So, with a heavy heart, you simply nodded and murmured, "Okay." And offered him a smile.Â
You sat there in silence, the weight of his words hanging in the air around you. Breathing in the crisp, fresh air, you let the sounds of nature wash over you, grounding you in the present moment. Your gaze lingered on his face, committing every detail to memory, as if carving it into your very being. You wanted to remember this. Remember him, his touch, his care for you.Â
Azrielâthe shadowsinger, the spymaster, a skilled killer. And then there was youâthe servant of the Mother, a guide for souls, bound by duty and devotion. Death and his Reaper. What a poetic pair you made.
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
It was time.Â
You had been right, when you talked him down before, sitting on the beautiful green hill. Azriel had a life to return to, a family he missedâ a family that missed him. He didnât belong here, no matter how much he wished he could. He could feel it, nestled within his ribs, a deep pull to his body.Â
Azriel stood in the familiar confines of the River house, his gaze fixed on the bed where his physical form lay peacefully. He took in the sight of his body, now filled with color, vibrant and alive, a stark contrast to the pale, lifeless form he had been when he first awoke.Â
A sense of disorientation washed over him as he realized he was back here, in this room, though he couldn't recall making the conscious decision to return. From behind him, he felt your presence, a familiar energy that always seemed to embrace him with a comfortable warmth, the sweet smell in his nose.
 "I didn't even realize I was coming here.â Azriel said.Â
Without turning, he heard your soft voice. "You never do," you replied simply, âYour body calls and you answer.â
Azriel nodded slowly, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. He breathed out heavily. He longed to turn and look at you, to embrace your presence, trace the features of your face. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to confront the truth that lay before himâthat he wanted to go back, back to the land of the living, to his family, to embrace his life once more. But he wasn't ready for what he needed to do in order to returnâ wasnât ready to say goodbye to you.
âAzriel,â You said, as you gently placed your hand on his arm. He turned to look at you, his heart skipping a beat.The faelight cast a soft glow on your body, illuminating the delicate features of your face, dancing through your hair like shimmering strands of moonlight. And there it wasâthe small, reassuring smile that you had offered him so many times before. The smile you had given to him when he first woke up, afraid and alarmed, in the same place he stood now.Â
He couldn't help but feel a flicker of happiness at the sight of your gentle smile, but just as quickly as the feeling washed over him, it was replaced by a bittersweet pang of realization. The reality of why you were here, why you were looking at him with such tender affection, why he could barely feel your touchâ and why his head throbbed with searing pain. He glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping form, and then looked at you again.Â
âY/n, I-â
You gently shook your head, a soft shushing sound escaping your lips as you reached out to calm him. "It's okay," you reassured him, your voice gentle but firm. "You wonât feel a thing."
But Azriel shook his head too, his expression filled with concern as he took your hands in his. "That's not what I'm worried about," he admitted quietly.
You met his gaze, taking in every detail of his face, breathing in his scent. Your gaze drifted towards his wings, so beautiful, so powerful. And then you looked back at him.
"I'll be okay."Â
It was a promise, not just to him, but to yourself.
Azriel's senses dulled and the pain intensified, a sense of desperation washed over him. He thought back to your conversations earlier. He never figured out how time worked here, perhaps the conversation had been days ago, even weeks. But, to him, it felt like hours prior. Maybe a day, if he was being generous. Still, his mind raced with thoughts, with things he wanted to tell you, to ask of you, things that hadnât been there before. Ask me what you really want to, Azriel, you had said, so he did.
âAm I worthy?â His voice rang out, unsure, afraidâ of the answer, of what the question meant. âAm I worthy of this life? Is⌠is it worth it?â
You smiled. A broad, bright, and kind smile.Â
You felt Azriel's hands tremble slightly in yours, guiding them to your lips. With tender reverence, you pressed a small, tender kiss upon his scarred flesh. âYes,â you whispered, âIf only you knew.â
You understood now, why The Mother always urged for a swift journey. You werenât supposed to spend such intimate times with your souls, you werenât supposed to grow comfortable in their presence, to learn about their favorite candies and the way their mothers smelled. You werenât supposed to because it distracted you from your dutyâ and more importantly, you werenât supposed to because it prevented you from the heartache you felt now. A piercing pain in your chest, a heaviness in your stomach.Â
You lifted a hand and gently placed it on his cheek. The warmth of your touch radiated through his body, sending a wave of indescribable sensation coursing through him. The world seemed to blur around him, the ringing in his ears drowning out all other sound. He squinted against the growing brightness, his head throbbing with a relentless ache. He heard your voice, soft like honey, sweet like tea, whispering in his ear in perfect clarity.Â
âGoodbye, Azriel.â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
Azriel jolted upright, his body propelled by a surge of adrenaline that left him momentarily breathless. With a deep inhale, he struggled to steady his racing heart, his surroundings swimming into focus with agonizing slowness.
Each detail of the room seemed to materialize before him in excruciating detail, from the soft glow of the morning light filtering through the window to the faint murmur of voices drifting from the doorway. His hand instinctively went to the back of his head, a gesture born of instinct rather than any physical discomfort. Confusion furrowed his brow as he tried to recall why he had woken with such a start, where he currently was, why he laid on a bare bed, but the memory seemed frustratingly out of reachâ blurry and unfocused.Â
As Azriel's eyes adjusted to the soft light filtering through the room, the door creaked open, a distant sound barely registering in his slow mind. Before he could fully comprehend what was happening, a blur of motion filled his vision and Cassian was upon him, bounding forward with a crushing embrace. "There's my boy!"Â
With a startled gasp, Azriel felt the air rush out of his lungs as Cassian's hug engulfed him, the force of the impact momentarily disorienting him further than he already was. A small, involuntary soundâa mixture of surprise and amusementâescaped his lips as he tried to regain his bearings. Azriel's gaze flickered past Cassianâs broad shoulders, to where Rhysand stood in the doorway, his expression a mix of concern and amusement.
"Okay, Cass," Rhysand said, walking towards the bed. "Let him breathe. We donât want to give him another head injury."
Cassian released Azriel from his enthusiastic embrace, though a joyous gleam danced in his eyes as he stepped back, offering Azriel a sheepish grin. "My bad," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of embarrassment, âI just missed ya.âÂ
Rhysand stood casually, a playful smirk dancing across his lips. "If you were seeking attention, Az, you could've simply asked," he said with a wave of his hand. "No need to resort to dying for it."
The comment elicited a shocked blink from Azriel, his brows furrowing in confusion. "I- What?" he echoed. A few of his shadows slithered up his arms, wrapping themselves across his shoulders, the cool trail of them relieving tension in his upper body.Â
Rhysand let out a small laugh as he clapped him on the shoulder with a reassuring grin. "You have a lot of catching up to do, brother," Rhysand remarked, âLet's get you back to the land of the living.â
Azriel offered a small, uncertain laugh in response, the corners of his lips curling upwards into a hesitant smile, his mind still cloudy, disoriented. Rhysand and Cassian began talking, referring to him, attempting to fill Azriel in, but he wasnât paying attention, their voices blending into a distant hum.
Instead, Azriel's attention was drawn to an inexplicable warmth on his cheek. Instinctively, he lifted his hand and gently touched the spot, feeling the comforting heat beneath his fingertips. He frowned, trying to make sense of the sensation, but the warmth seemed to soothe his lingering disorientation, grounding him in the present moment with a sense ofâŚease.Â
Azriel's attention shifted towards the corner of the room, where a soft beam of sunlight filtered through the window. A handful of his shadows floated and twirled, their graceful movements dancing within the warm glow. He smiled, tilting his head at the sight, his hand still on his cheek. What a beautiful sight, Azriel thought. And then he was turning his attention back to his brothers, a wide smile now on his cheeks.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâšÂ
y'all... imagine meeting ur soulmate but u can only see her when ur dead and cant remember her otherwise lol sucks for azriel.
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#azriel acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fanfic#azriel one shot
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Itâs Been a Long, Long Time
Azriel x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 2.7k
Warnings: memory loss.
Summary: The last time Azriel had seen his mate was nearly four centuries ago. The bond went silent and for those many years, Azriel believed his mate was dead. As he sits with Elain in her garden, the bond suddenly comes alive once again.
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
â˘â˘â˘
The day Azriel lost his mate, he was in agony. Not because of the pain, no. It was because of the lack of knowledge if she was alive or not. The bond fell quiet and Azriel could hardly grasp onto it. It was as if he were trying to catch smoke. There was nothing to touch. For years he searched for her, he never wanted to give up. He knew that every moment he waited, she could be in danger.Â
Even long after she disappeared, Azriel still searched. However, as the centuries ticked by, Azriel began to lose hope. He was sure he had searched every possible location. There was no trace of Y/N.Â
Azriel sat with Elain in her garden. He had noticed a positive change in the middle Archeron sister for the past few months. When Rhys tasked him to watch over Elain and help her adjust, he originally hated the idea. But he knew the reason why Rhys had set him the task. It was coming up to the 400th anniversary since Y/N had disappeared.Â
As Azriel looked down at the ring in his hands, he could feel his heart plummet. Even if being around Elain had helped distract himself as she explained all of the flowers to him and their various meanings, the closer it got to the anniversary of Y/Nâs disappearance, Azriel felt himself slip away from everyone and everything.Â
The ring was still beautiful even after all this time. Azriel made sure it was. Despite vowing to never take off her wedding ring, Y/N always took it off before bed, deeming that it was uncomfortable when she rested her head upon her hand to sleep. But the first thing she did every morning was slip the ring back upon her finger. The night she was taken it had been no different except one thing, Azriel had not been there. His job had kept him away for an extra day, and for the first time since they were mated and married, Azriel had not fallen asleep next to Y/N. He had regretted that for four hundred years. The only reminder of her was the ring he found on her bedside cabinet that morning.Â
âAzriel!â The sound of Elainâs voice snapped him out of his thoughts.Â
âSorry?â He lifted his gaze from the ring and met Elainâs.Â
âI asked you what that was,â Elain said, gesturing down to the ring in his hand.Â
Azriel stilled. He never liked speaking about it with anyone but Rhys or Cassian. But seeing how Elainâs eyebrows were furrowed in concern, he could tell that a saddened expression had slipped onto his face.Â
Azriel sighed. âIt was my mateâs wedding ring.â
âMate?â Elain said, her expression falling slightly.Â
Azriel cringed internally. He knew about Elainâs small crush on him. She did not hide it well. Though he did not return her feelings, he still enjoyed her company. With her, she understood when he just wished to sit in silence and when he didnât want to talk, she continued the conversation on her own.Â
Perhaps there was a time where he could have retired her feelings, Elain was rather beautiful, but she would never compare to Y/N. Azriel had never had another relationship after Y/N disappeared. He only ever wanted Y/N and he would only ever want her.Â
âYes,â Azriel said, swallowing hard. âShe- she disappeared four-hundred years ago. I was never able to find her.â
The small hurt expression on Elainâs face changed to one of sympathy. âAzriel, I am so sorry.â
Azriel nodded and looked back at the ring. âI have looked everywhere and there is no trace of her. I have always feltâŚempty since she disappeared. She was part of my soul that I have never gotten back.â
Elain dropped the bulbs she was holding back into her basket. âHow do you know she is not out there? You couldnât have searched everywhere on the planet?â
âI have searched everywhere where it was possible to take her,â Azriel answered. âI have found absolutely nothing.â
âThen believe that she is still out there,â Elain said.
âElain, it has been nearly four-hundred years,â Azriel said. âI gave up hope of her still being alive a long time ago.â
âDo you still love her?â Elain asked.Â
âMore than anything,â Azriel said instantly. âI havenât been with anyone after she disappeared. I tried, about two-hundred years ago but I couldnât do it. It felt so wrong. No one will ever compare to her.â
âThen you shouldnât give up hope,â Elain said. âYou donât give up hope on those you love.â
Azriel did not reply. He simply looked back down at the ring once more. It was centuries old yet it still looked brand new. Azriel made sure that the silver band never tarnished. Made sure that the gem never stopped sparkling. It looked the same as the day he had slipped it onto her finger. Elain, sensing Azriel wished to no longer talk about the topic, returned back to her garden.Â
Ever since Y/N had disappeared, Azriel had always felt like he had lost part of his soul, and he supposed he had. Y/N was everything to him. She was who he lived for. She was the one and only love he ever needed, ever wanted. The night the bond snapped for them was one Azriel would never forget. Even if he tried, he would never be able to forget it. The initial shock then the pure feeling of the love she sent him. For the first time in his life, Azriel knew what it was like to be loved so deeply and unconditionally. It did not matter whether he deserved it or not. When he was with Y/N, none of that mattered. All that mattered was him and her and the fact that they were together.Â
As Azriel tucked the ring back into his breast pocket, a large surge of emotion was brought to life within him. He clutched at his chest. Azriel cried out.
âAzriel?â Elain questioned, shooting to her feet. âAre you okay?â
Her voice was muffled as Azriel continued to claw at his chest. Something was threatening to burst through.Â
âSomething is different,â he forced out.Â
âDo I need to get anyone?â Elain asked.Â
âRhys,â Azriel said. âI need Rhys.â
Elain nodded and ran out of the garden and into the house in search of his brother.
Azriel tried to stand but fell to his knees immediately. He could barely breathe. The pressure in his chest was gradually increasing and he could not place the feeling anywhere.Â
âI have Rhys,â Elain said, rushing back into the garden, Rhys following behind her.Â
âAz, whatâs wrong?â Rhys asked, kneeling down next to him.Â
âI donât know,â Azriel said, breathing heavily. âThere is a pressure in my chest. I donât know what it is.â
âWhat were you doing before it started?â Rhys asked.
âTellingââ Azriel cut himself off as he yelled out. The pressure was becoming worse and Azriel was sure that if he tried to repress it anymore, it would surely kill him. âTelling Elain about Y/N.â
âIs he going to be okay?â Elain asked quietly, standing a small distance away.
âAz, you need to relax,â Rhys said, placing a hand on his shoulder.Â
âI canât,â Azriel said through gritted teeth.Â
âThe pressure will kill you if you donât relax,â Rhys said sternly. âSo, please, relax.â
Azriel met Rhyâs eyes and stopped clawing at his chest. The pain in his chest gradually got worse and worse. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.Â
âRhys,â Azriel whispered, his voice full of pain. âI canâtâŚâ
âYes you can,â Rhys said. âJust relax, Az.â
Azriel closed his eyes and relaxed his body, letting the pain overtake his body until he cried out once again. However as soon as he cried out, the pain stopped and a new feeling overtook his body. It was overwhelming and Azriel backed away from Rhysâs touch.Â
âAzriel,â Rhys said. âWhat is it?â
âI donât know. I canâtââ
Azriel cut himself off as a familiar feeling rose within him. This time he didnât claw at his chest, he gently placed his hand upon it. The emotions he was feeling werenât his. They were someone elseâs. Azriel hadnât felt this way in a long time. He had forgotten what it felt like. But it felt right.Â
âThe mating bond,â Azriel said. âI feel the mating bond.â
Even Rhys looked shocked as he looked at Azriel. âAre you sure?â
Azriel nodded. âI can feel it. I can feel her, Rhys.â
Tears sprung to Azrielâs eyes. He tugged on that bond that had lain dormant for four hundred years. It was weak though he felt her tug back. Azriel could have sobbed at that feeling alone.Â
âTake me back to my home, Rhys,â Azriel said.Â
The home Azriel shared with Y/N. He hadnât entered it in a long time. He could never bring himself to. Every single time he tried, he couldnât open the door. That house was the home he made with Y/N and Azriel did not want to be there if she wasnât.Â
âAre you sure?â Rhys asked.
âIâm sure,â Azriel said. âShe is there, Rhys. I can feel it.â
Rhys nodded and winnowed them to the outside of Azrielâs home on the outskirts of Velaris. As soon as they arrived, Azriel could already smell the familiar scent of his mate. He pushed away from Rhys and opened the front door.Â
And there she was.
Y/N stood in the middle of the room looking around with her hands on her hips. âYou could have dusted, Az.â
Azriel simply couldnât believe it. âY/N? Are you really here?â
Y/N smiled softly and Azriel nearly collapsed right there. That smile was always in his dreams but seeing it again in personâŚ
Azriel rushed over to her and scooped her in his arms as they both sank to the floor. Azriel couldnât stop the sobs that came from him and neither could Y/N. The bond between them hummed happily. Four hundred years of being apart and now finally being reunited. It was something Azriel had given up on a long time ago.Â
âHow are you here?â Azriel mumbled, his sobs subsided but his tears didnât. âI thought you were dead.â
Y/N pulled away from the hug and cupped Azrielâs cheeks and wiped away the tears. âYou are exactly as I remember. It has been so long since I remembered what you looked like.â
âWhat do you mean?â Azriel asked.Â
Y/N sighed and held onto Azriel tighter, as if she were afraid she was going to be taken once more. âThe night I was taken, I was drugged, they wanted me for my power of healing and I refused to give in. They were bad men and I was not going to help them no matter how hard they tried to convince me. They drugged my food to make me compliant but the only thing I could think about was you and our bond. Once they realised who I was and who I was mated to, they gave me another drug. This time it was one to dampen the power of the mating bond. It made me stop feeling you.â
âI remember that night,â Azriel said. âI thought you blocked it off.â
Y/N shook her head. âOnce the mating bond was dampened, they drugged me with something else. Over time I began to forget things, important things. My name, where I came from, my family, my friendsâŚyou.â
Azriel wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body flush against his. The sound of her heart beating was enough to bring a new surge of tears to his eyes. He never thought he would hear it again.
âThey took me to a place on the continent, an entire city deep below ground with its own artificial sun and moon, whole fields and towns. Once I did not remember anything, they gave me a new identity and a whole new life.âÂ
âYou didnât remember me?â Azriel asked.
âI didnât,â Y/N said sadly, threading her fingers in his hair. âBut I always felt that there was a part of me missing. Even though the mating bond was repressed, I always felt that something was not quite right.â
Azrielâs heart fell. This whole time he had been in agony that his mate had been missing, while she did not remember him at all. âHow did you escape?â he asked.Â
âIf you believe me or not, there are good people in that community, incredible people,â Y/N said. âThey helped me flush the drugs from my system and helped me remember who I once was.â
âThe bond?â Azriel asked. âDid they help with that?â
Y/N shook her head. âOnce the drugs were from my system and I was finally above ground, I felt you. I winnowed back here instantly. Consider me surprised when this house looks exactly the same as when I left four-hundred years ago.â
âI havenât been able to come back here since you were taken,â Azriel whispered, his voice soft and vulnerable.Â
Y/N caressed his face and wiped his tears away. âOh, my darling. I am here now. Only if you still want me, of course.â
Azriel frowned. âWhy wouldnât I want you?â
âAz, my love, it has been four-hundred years. I would understand if you moved on in those years,â Y/N said.Â
Azriel shook his head. âThere has been no one else. I tried almost two centuries ago but I couldnât do it. All I wanted was you.â When Azriel looked at her face again, he nearly burst into tears once more. It had been so long since he had looked into those loving eyes. The type of love he once thought he never deserved. âIf you had found anyone, I would understand. You didnât remember me.â Just that statement alone made Azriel hurt all over again.Â
Y/N sighed a pained noise. âI wonât lie to you and say that there was no one, Azriel. There were a couple of people I have been with over the past four centuries.â
A new surge of tears streamed down Azrielâs cheeks as he gripped onto Y/N tighter.Â
âBut,â she continued, âthere has been no one for many years and no one ever stuck around long. I could never fully commit. It was as if my body knew that it was wrong. I did like a few people but I never loved them. I could never love anyone more than I love you.â
âI never want you to go anywhere again,â Azriel whispered into her hair. âI missed you so much.â
Azrielâs fingers tangled in her hair as he rested his forehead against hers. Her soft breath fanned his face and Azriel swore he could nearly faint. Her scent, her touch, her breath. They were all things Azriel never thought he would ever witness again.Â
âI am never going anywhere again,â Y/N mumbled. âI will remain beside you forever, my love.â
Azriel reluctantly unwrapped one hand from around Y/N and reached into his pocket and pulled out her ring. Y/N gasped once she saw it.Â
âYou kept it?â She asked.
âOf course I kept it,â Azriel said. âI always have it on me. It was the only thing I had that reminded me of you.â
Y/N wiped her tears away as Azriel took her hand gently in hers and slid the ring onto her finger. âPerfect,â he whispered.
Y/N looked him in the eyes. The love she held within them was something Azriel never forgot. He would see them in his dreams and nightmares. It was something he never thought he would see in person again.Â
âCan I kiss you?â Azriel asked, almost afraid of the answer.Â
Y/N smiled. âAz, I am your mate and your wife. There might have been a four century gap in our relationship but those two facts do not change. I love you. Of course you can kiss me. Kiss me until you canât anymore.â
The shadowsinger smiled. âThen Iâm afraid we will be here a while.â
Azriel finally kissed his mate and wife for the first time in four hundred years.Â
#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel angst#acotar#azriel fanfiction
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Congratulations on 500 darling!!!!!!!! Can I please request 30 with azriel? Thank youuuuuuu đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤
Confessions at Starfall
Azriel x Reader one shot
Summary: It's the night of Starfall, and you're hopelessly in love with the Shadowsinger. When Azriel keeps flirting with Elain, you're pushed to your final limits.
HELLO AND WELCOME TO DAY 1 OF 5 FOR 500!
Thank you @cityofidek for requesting 30 - Unrequited love/pushing loved one away.
Warnings: None.
Words: 3,048
--------
It was the night of Starfall, and you were utterly miserable.Â
Sitting at the dining table with your family, the rest of the inner circle exchanged jokes and light-hearted conversations as plates of steaming roasts, vegetables and pies were passed around. While it was usually your favourite holiday â the night ahead promising dancing and celebration, you were feeling far from festive.Â
It had everything to do with the male you loved, who sat across from you now, dotting over Elain Archeron. His eyes rarely left her, and you would know, because yours rarely left him. You noted the way he sat, his body tilted slightly in her direction, his wings folded back to make provide her more space to move. To the untrained eye, it wouldn't look like much â but for Azriel this spoke volumes.Â
That was the kind of detail you had learned to read over the past year. It had been twelve excruciating months since you had realised your own feelings for the Shadowsinger. Gone was the comfortable friendship you two shared â instead it was quickly replaced with blushing, timidness and uncontrollable awkwardness, all thanks to you. And while you once held out hope that Azriel might notice, or even return your feelings, overtime your friendship had drifted â pushing him further into the arms of the middle Archeron sister.Â
Elain made you seethe with jealousy. It wasnât her fault, she was nice really, all be it a bit simple. But she had a way about her, like a doe-eyed fawn their first steps. It made you uncontrollably angry the way people would line up to help her, especially the males. Not to mention her undeniable beauty. You knew she and Azriel made a very handsome couple.Â
So you sat here tonight, marking every bit of attention the Spymaster gave Elain, longing for him to look at you the way he did her. Jealousy didn't even begin to cover it.Â
âY/N?â
You blinked, not realising Azriel was speaking to you even though you had stared off straight in his direction. You coughed, straightening in you seat. âSorry, pardon?â Your heart beat at the thought he might have started a conversation with you.Â
âCan you pass the potatoes?â
Your heart dropped, and you tried to hide the disappointment on your face. Of course he wasn't interested in talking to you, he hadn't in weeks. Without replying, you passed over the dish, reaching straight for the white potatoes instead of the orange kind. Azriel didn't like how sweet they were, and you knew that. It was the kind of detail you remembered about someone when youâre hopelessly in love.
âOoh, can I please have the sweet potatoes?â Elain chirped. âTheyâre my favourite.â Of course the sweetest female in all of Prythian liked yams the most. You had to suppress the urge to roll your eyes. You passed the dish over silently, and watched Azriel load up his plate with those too. It took everything you had to stop the scowl that twitched at your eyes.Â
You pushed your fork and knife to the centre of your plate, suddenly having lost your appetite.Â
ââââ
The luminescent glow of the stars shooting above had been going for over an hour, and the party was in full swing. You breathed in, letting the magnificent sight lighten your heart the way they did the night sky.Â
Gathered on a large marble terrace of Rhys and Feyreâs river home, almost a hundred guests had come in fine gowns and suits to celebrate the event.Â
Wearing a dress of midnight blue that sparkled with night, you laughed lightheartedly as Cassian and Nesta joked with you, champagne in hand. The musicians at the base of the terrace reclaimed their seats, raising their instruments and beginning a new set of elegant melody.Â
âI hope you donât mind Y/N, but I must show off my mates dancing,â he winked at you before offering his hand to Nesta. She smiled, placing a delicate hand atop of his, nodding to you before being lead to the dance floor.Â
Couples now twirled and stepped in unison, the sight almost as magical as the sky above. You felt a large presence slide beside you, and your heart fluttered as shadows caught the corner of your eye.Â
âAre you enjoying your night?â Azriel had finally come to spend some time with you.Â
âOf course,â you lied, smiling softly as you gulped the rest of your champaign, earning a slight raise of Azrielâs brow. âAnd yourself?â
Azriel nodded. âItâs as beautiful as always.â
âYes, it is.â You couldn't help but stare straight into his hazel eyes, your heart lurching as your words hung with double meaning. Ask me to dance, you begged in your head. We dance every year on Starfall, câmon, just ask me. If Azriel was paying any attention, he would have read your pleading gaze. But he wasnât, of course, because his eyes fell beyond you, at the pretty Archeron who wore a gown of delicate blush.Â
You looked down, suddenly overwhelmed with insecurity as you smoothed the ripples in your dress. Of course he didn't like you â you looked like a witch of death compared to the femininity that blossomed from Elain.Â
âYou look quite beautiful tonight.â
Your heart leaped. Your anger from earlier quickly vanished as you breathed in to thank Azriel, already blushing. But as you looked up, your heart immediately sank as you realised Azriel wasn't complimenting you at all, but rather Elain, who had made her way over.Â
It felt much like being punched in the gut.
Your mouth was dry as you silently watched Azriel offer her an arm, her petite hand slipping through as he guided her to the dance floor.Â
That felt much like being kicked in the gut while you were down.
You couldn't help the steady flow of tears that now stained your cheeks, or the broken crumple that formed on your face. Unable to withstand any more blows, you fled the party.
ââââ
Slumped against the frame of a large window, your body shook with cries so hard they fell silent. You didn't care if it was the most special night of the year, you had never felt more abandoned, underserving and unloved.Â
You were crying too hard to hear the footsteps that trudged up to the lookout room you were hiding in, and you didn't hear the faint knock at the door. It wasn't until Cassian placed a gentle hand on your shoulder that you noticed his presence, his face soft with concern as he crouched next to you.Â
You blinked back at him, your vision completely blurred by your tears. You were broken and there was no hiding it.Â
âI love him, Cas,â you sobbed, your voice break halfway through as a cry shook through your body again.Â
âOh, Y/N,â Cassian said softly, his voice full of understanding as he immediately embraced you. You flung yourself to him, wrapping your arms around his solid waist as he rocked and stroked your hair. You weren't surprised that Cassian knew, anyone could have noticed months of hopeless pining and one-sided puppy love.
You continued to cry, your voice muffle by the embrace. âWhatâs wrong with me?â
âNothing Y/N! Thereâs not a thing wrong with you.â
âThen why doesn't he love me?â
âBecause heâs a damn fool.â
You sniffed against his chest, trying to regain yourself. âBut he loves her.â
Cassian sighed, the strokes on your hair pausing for just a moment. âIâm not sure thatâs true.â
âOf course he does. Sheâs perfect.â Jealousy was not a good colour on you, but you were unsuccessful at hiding the bite in your words.Â
Cassian drew back, levelling his eyes to yours. âI know it hurts right now doll, but I promise, any male that doesn't see you for the beautiful, intelligent and fiery bombshell you are, is an outright imbecile. Even if it is my own brother.â
You chuckled at that, shaking your head as you gently wiped the makeup your were sure had stained under your eyes. âThank you Cass,â you whispered, reaching for his hands tightly. He stood now, leaning down to plant a kiss on your forehead.Â
âWill you come back to the party with me?â
You forced a fake smile, but shook your head. âI happiest up here. Thank you though Cass, I mean it.â
Cassian nodded, throwing a tight smile of sympathy before ducking out of the room.Â
You paced to the other side of the viewing room to the window facing the terrace below where celebrations continued. Dresses of all colours fanned against the marble of the terrace, the music flowing up to the height of the room. And the stars, Gods they were beautiful.Â
You saw Cassian rejoin Nesta, his arms snaking around her waist as they admired the view. Next to them were your High Lord and Lady, and beside them, a dress of pale blush. Your heart stung with envy at the site of Elain, and you narrowed your eyes as you scanned the crowd for Azriel.Â
âY/N?â
You jumped, whirling on the spot to find Azriel sheepishly standing in the doorway.Â
You cleared your throat, quickly wiping under your eyes again. He had hurt you, broken you without even knowing it. You straightened your spine â the least you could do was have your pride.Â
âAre you ok? Cassian said you left the party.â
You nodded tightly, not trusting yourself to speak.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing.â The words flew out of your mouth too quickly.Â
Azriel frowned, stepping through the door towards you. You stiffened, drawing one step back. âGo back to the party Azriel,â you said tightly.
âHave you been crying?â
You scowled. How dare he note that detail when he was the one who caused it. âDonât pretend to care,â you spat. Gone was the ache in your heart from moments ago. Seeing Azriel here now, it was quickly replaced with fiery hurt.
âWhat?â Azriels brow was now contort with confusion as he reached for you. You stepped back again, your arms folding over your chest.
âWhy are you angry with me?â
âHow can you ask that?â
âIs it because weâve been distant lately?â So he did have some clue after all. You didn't answer, instead breaking from the intensity of his stare, your eyes focusing outside as glowing spirits that shot past the other side of the window.
âListen, I know I haven't been around much, or maybe itâs that we haven't spent time together lately. But things have been difficult between us for a while now Y/N. I can't help but feel youâre pushing me away.â
A scoff escaped you before you could stop it. âIâm pushing you away?!â
âYes!â He exclaimed, his hands outstretched. âFor months now. You don't open up to me like you used to, every time I look at you, you look away, and you never suggest spending anytime together.â
You blinked at him, biting your lip as you tried to process what he had said. You hadnât realised that in an attempt to burry your feelings for Azriel, you had actually pushed him away.Â
âTell me, what have I done?â Azrielâs voice was pleading as he stepped closer.
âYou haven't done anything,â your voice was barely a whisper, and you were unable to meet his eyes. You had stepped away so he could explore his feelings for Elain, that was your truth. But when was the last time he made an effort for you? âBut you can't pretend like youâve been trying either, Azriel.â
He sighed then, pinching the bridge of his nose. âYouâre right, Iâm sorry ok? Iâll make more of an effort from here on.â
You nodded, tears welling in your eyes again as you blinked quickly, casting your gaze sideways yet again. You couldn't tell him â it would ruin everything.
For once, Azriel caught on to how upset you were. âYouâre still angry with me?â
âGods, Az! I wish I was angry!â
The male blinked at you before frustration overtook. âWell perhaps you could stop talking in riddles, and actually tell me whatâs wrong!â he gritted.
You let out a quick breath, shaking your hands as you blinked upwards, trying your best to stop the tears that welled. âI canât,â you whispered. It would kill you to say it, and it would kill everything you two had.Â
Azrielâs gaze softened when he saw how tortured you were. Uncrossing his arms, he walked over, cupping the side of your face. âYou can tell me anything, Y/N. Just tell me, whatâs going on?â
His hazel eyes scanned your face, begging you to open up. But there was so much at stake here, and even if you confessed, you knew his heart lay with Elain.Â
You shook your head, moving out of his hold. âIf you canât see it for yourself Azriel, I don't know what to tell you.â
Azriel frowned. âYouâre speaking in riddles again.âÂ
You threw your hands up in defeat. âPerhaps I am,â you sighed, suddenly drained of any energy you had left. âListen, Iâm exhausted. Please Az, just enjoy the rest of your night, ok?â
âIâll walk you to your room.â
âNo,â you said too quickly. Guilt struck you at the twinge of hurt on Azrielâs face. âNo, thank you. Iâll be fine.â Your voice was tight, and you quickly turned your heel, leaving Azriel still and silent as he watched you leave.
These feelings â these stupid, foolish, unrequited feelings. They hurt you and everyone involved, and you hated yourself for it. It was obvious Azriel didnât return your affection, so why did you have to drag him down and cause a scene? You needed to do better, needed to push your love for him down, burry it in the depths of your heart so it would no longer get in his way.Â
ââââ
You were in your room for barely an hour before there was a forceful knock on your door. You jumped, pulling down the length of your silk night slip as you spoke out loud. âWho is it?â
You door flew open then, Azrielâs large frame filling the entrance as he stepped inside, his expression wild, with another emotion you couldn't quite place. His wings were outstretched, and you could tell he had winnowed here hurriedly as his chest heaved with quick breaths.
Shocked, your eyes darted over him in panic. âAzriel, what â?â
Azriel stalked towards you, closing the distance as he towered over you.
âYou love me?â
You gawked, your eyes moving back and forth as you tried to connect the dots. âWhoâ?â
âYou love me?â
Cassian. You gritted your teeth and your fists clenched. How could he share something so private?Â
âNo! I mean, yes, I mean, I have feelings forââ
âYou, love, meâŚâ he repeated, slower this time. It was no longer a question.
Your body burned in shame â you needed air. Pushing the double doors to your private balcony open, you grasped the railing as you tried to breath deep. Azriel was right on your tail.
âAz, Iâm sorry. Iâll get over you. I promise. These feelings, theyâreâ theyâre only temporary, I swear. IâIâll get over youââ
Azriel bought a single scarred finger to your lips, hushing you instantly. You swallowed, panic in your eyes as they darted between his hazel ones, trying to read his reaction. As per usual, Azrielâs face was unreadable, the only movement was the gold that swirled within them.Â
âHow long have you loved me?â he asked, his voice cold as ice. You felt as if you were tied to a chair, under his interrogation.Â
âTwelve months,â you whispered against his finger, your cheeks stinging in shame.Â
Azriel raised his brows. âSo for a whole year, you have loved me, without so much as a thought to share that information?â
Your frowned in confusion. âI had no plans on telling you, Azriel. I didn't want to get in your way. You and Elainââ
âWhat of Elain and I?â
You levelled a look at him now. âCâmon Az, its clear you have affections for her.â
âYou have no idea how I feel.â There was a bite to his words, something you weren't used to from the Shadowsinger. âI am a friend to Elain, because her transition as fae has been difficult. I enjoy her company, thatâs true. But I am there to support her as my High Ladyâs sister, and a member of our family. If I am someone she can trust, someone she can open up to, I will be there to support her.â
You sighed. âI understand that Az, butââ
The finger returned to your lips, cutting you off. âThat does not mean ââ Azriel drawled, his voice low, almost dangerous. ââ that I have affections for her.â He was dancing with your emotions, using them against you to teach you a lesson.
You blinked back at him, your heart fluttering with realisation before denial quickly took over. âYou love her,â you whispered, more to yourself, refusing to believe the dynamics you had built in your head were an embellishment of your own idiocy.Â
âI do not.â
âYou do.â
âI do not.â Azrielâs voice was a growl now.
He moved in closer, and your heart began to thunder. The finger against your lip fell to cup your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. Azrielâs eyes swirled with dominance, his expression almost predatory as shadows danced between you. He leaned in close, his fresh scent filling your nose as his lips were now mere inches from your own.Â
âI have affections for someone else,â he said huskily. âOne might even say I love her, for many years now.â
It took all that you had not to gawk. Instead, you kept your eyes on his. âDonât mock,â you replied, your voice a half gasp as you tried to control your breathing.Â
Azrielâs mouth pulled into a smirk. âIâm not mocking.â
You flicked your gaze to his lips, then back up to his eyes, your expression bewildered and completely uncool.Â
âAzrielââ was all you got out before he closed his lips over yours, his arms snaking around your waist as he dipped you back, kissing you as the stars continued to fall around you.
--------
AN: I just want to say another HUGE thank you to anyone who's been following along with my fics, you mean the world to me <3 I hope you liked this story, I would love to hear any feedback you have. Please take care, and comment if you'd like to join any of my tag lists â¨:)
Tag list:@kennedy-brooke @cosmic-whispers @jazmin2211 @psychobookaholic @fieldofdaisiies
#azriel fluff#azriel angst#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x jealous reader#azriel unrequited love#azriel spymaster#acotar fanfiction
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Y/N: *sits next to az* So I've been wondering
Azriel: Wondering what?
Y/N: What's your type?
*Inner Circle materialised out of nowhere*
Cassian: Good question
Rhys: Allow us to elaborate on his behalf
Amren: He likes someone who is kind
Feyre: Someone who loves their family
Nesta: Someone who hail from the night court
Elain: Someone who has dark hair and violet eyes
Cassian: Someone who is half Illyrian half high fae
Rhys: Someone who grew up with him and is loved by his shadows
Y/N: That kinda describes rhys. Too bad he's with our beautiful feyre
Y/N: *looks at az* Don't worry, I'm sure there is someone who is just like rhys and not taken
IC: *groans* Hopeless!
Azriel: They forgot to mention dense
#acotar incorrect quotes#incorrect acotar quotes#azriel acotar#cassian acotar#rhysand acotar#amren acotar#feyre acotar#nesta acotar#elain acotar#azriel x reader#a court of thorns and roses
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Azriel the Shadowsinger fics recommedation
To all the authors I've included: thank you for writing awesome fics, I admire your work with all my heart â¤ď¸
â All of @tadpolesonalgae works - masterlist
â Never been good enough Part 2 Part 3 by @lure-of-writing
â All of @bubbles-for-all-of-us works - masterlist
â Confessions by @azriels-shadowsinger
â Closure Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 by @jeannineee
â Spin the bottle by @illyrian-dreamer
â Walk away Part 2 by @azsazz
â be yours by @writingsbychlo
â Salvation by @azrielhours
â Lease of life series by @lucysstoryworld
â Lips of an angel Part 2 Part 3 by @azsazz
â Confessions at starfall by @illyrian-dreamer
â Fractured friends by @acotar-writing
â Confessions by @azriels-shadowsinger
â All of @bubbles-for-all-of-us works - masterlist
â Untouchable by @serpentandlily
â Mystique by @serpentandlily
â Arcane by @serpentandlily
â Inadvertently Yours series by @leafsandstarlight
â Forced Revelations by @leafsandstarlight
â Love You in the dark by @acourtofmenandthirst
â A field of dandelions by @prythianpages
â The Quiet Ones by @writingcroissant
â Daughter of Autumn by @writingcroissant
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In a world of boys, heâs a â¨gentlemanâ¨
Summary: based on this request - your friends help walk you through all the nice things Azriel does for you
Authorâs note: I forgot all about this tbh lmao why was this just sitting in my drafts all alone
âI think Azriel has the best manners,â Feyre says, her cheeks glowing from the wine, wisps of brown hair coming out from her braid.
âAnd the biggest wingspan,â Mor adds, raising her blonde eyebrows.
âIâm serious,â Feyre turns to Mor, âheâs so polite, he cleans up after himself, he treats (y/n) like a queen, he-â
You choke on your wine. âTreats who like what?â
Mor slaps your shoulder, causing you to almost spill your glass. âOh, do not start this again, I will scream.â
âStart what?â
Mor rolls her eyes, falling back on the couch, âpretending like you donât know how nice Azriel is to you.â
Your face heats involuntarily. âHeâs very nice to me, Iâm well aware of that. Heâs a nice guy.â
Mor groans, getting up for more wine, âsee! This is what Iâm talking about!â
Nesta and Feyre giggle, but you sit up, âwhat do you mean what youâre talking about? What is wrong with me thinking that heâs nice to me?â
Feyreâs giggles continue, âitâs not that, sweetie. Itâs just⌠heâs exceptionally nice to you.â
âSo? Weâre friends.â
Mor chimes in, âif any male was as nice to Nesta as Azriel is to you, Cassian would slit his throat.â
âCassianâs more of a hands-on brute, but I see your point,â Nesta corrects.
âFriends donât act like the two of you do,â Feyre muses, refilling her wine glass.
Soft touches, sitting needlessly close to each other at gatherings, Feyre catching the two of you napping on her couch on multiple occasions.
âHe always blushes around you,â Elain observes.
Images of Azrielâs reddened cheeks and ears flood your memory, and how adorable youâd find it.
âHe always asks you if itâs okay for him to pick you up to fly.â
A montage of soft âmay I?â and âis this okay?â flutter through your mind. His soft touches of your hair when youâd take off, knowing it was your least favorite part, trying to comfort you in some way.
âHe pulls out your chair for you at every family dinner.â
â-and plates her food!â
Azrielâs scarred hands grab the back of your chair, a soft scraping noise filling your ears, replaced by your soft âthank youâ.
He sits next to you, grabbing your plate reflexively, piling it with roast, carrots, and potatoes, knowing to avoid the celery.
You thank him again, oblivious to Cassianâs exasperated arm movements at the two of you, as well as Nestaâs immediate swatting of him.
Elain giggles, âhe always comes by every Sunday asking me to help him arrange a bouquet for her.â
Nesta smirks as the other two females let out soft âoooohâs, as if you all were gossipy teenagers. Maybe you were. Your eyes draw towards the bouquet sitting on the table in front of Elain, the pink and yellow hues making you smile.
âHe always has a hand on you whenever youâre out in town.â
The warmth from his hand is a welcome presence on your lower back as you two push through the crowds of the Velaris stalls. You prefer going out into town with him in tow - he was much taller than you and could see over the crowds.
Not to mention how he carried all of your bags and you spent the rest of the day catching his scent on your clothes afterwards.
âIâm not even sure you own your own coat from him lending you his.â
Nights out at Ritaâs always ended with the two of you walking along the Sidra, his arm around your shoulder. Heâd always wait for you to start shivering before placing his coat around your shoulders, helping your arms into the sleeves.
You scratch at your neck, uncomfortable with all the attention on you. âThat doesnât mean anything⌠right?â
Mor huffs, dramatically falling back on the couch after draining her glass, âI canât explain this again.â
âAsk him out,â Feyre says, while Nesta nods her head, âjust do it.â
As if the Mother herself were in the room gossiping with you all, Azriel strolls into the room, a bit shocked when five pairs of eyes peer back at him, amusement in four pairs, adoration in one pair.
You canât help the smile that graces your face when you see him, and Nesta loudly placing her cup on the table jolts you out of your trance.
âWill you- would you,â you clear your throat, rushing the words out before you get too scared, turned in your seat to peer at him, âwould you like to have dinner? Tonight? With me? Alone?â
Mor and Feyre are trying, but failing, to hold in their giggles at your nervousness, but you have completely forgotten they were in the room with you.
Azrielâs lips curve into a smile, âI would love to. I can pick you up at 7?â
#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#acotar fanfiction#azriel#acotar writing#azriel fanfic#azriel x you#azriel fluff
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Fave fan fiction atm? âď¸
Oh my god, there are so many! I am constantly living in the Azriel x reader tag!
Anything by the following authors:
@azrielbrainrot particularly their Azriel band member au. I never knew how much I needed band member Azriel in my life until now.
@itsswritten, Naughty little shadows is a personal fave and their newest fic Gone has broken my heart and repaired it in the best way possible.
@daycourtofficial every single fic of theirs gives me life but I absolutely adore falling in love on the fourth floor.
@writingcroissant writes so many of my favourite Azriel fics, I legitimately stayed up one night reading everything. I am very excited for their The Lies of Windhaven series.
@illyrianbitch every. single. fic. is. perfection. Obsessed with Death and His Reaper. An Education in Malice was life changing.
We're vvvvv blessed as a fandom to have some of the best fic writers.
x
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â âYou were flirting with me?â
pairing: Azriel x fem!reader
summary: You leave Azriel mid-makeout to debrief with your girls
warnings: suggestiveness, the ic being nosey, miscommunication, rhys and cassian knowingly riling az up, the girls get drunk and interrogate reader, the boys get drunk and interrogate az,
amaraâs note: this might be the funniest thing iâve ever written. also sorry for my absence iâm posting more soonđđ
Youâve had a massive crush on Azriel since the day you met him. He didnât really notice you and was somewhat nice to you.
Really, you had no idea how you started crushing on him, I mean he paid you no special attention or anything. Maybe it was because he was quiet, handsome, tall, dark, mysterious and only spoke when it was necessary. He also cracked jokes and flashed grins that made your heart flutter. The Mother knows how much it grated your nerves whenever a male tried to hit or talk to you when you clearly had no desire to.
Azriel was the complete opposite and you started worrying that you were the one who grated on his nerves everytime you tried speaking to him.
âHi Azriel, how are you doing?â you noticed him sitting at the dining table, collected yourself and asked him.
âGood,â he said staring straight into your soul before he realized his answer wasnât really socially appropriate so asked you, âHow are you?â
You just smiled awkwardly and nodded, âIâm fine, thanks.â
And that was how 90% of your conversations went. There was no further comments or extra questions and fuck if it wasnât awkward. You really wanted to get to know him but you also knew how impossible it was since even the people he had been friends with for half a millennium often considered him a mystery.
Sensing the weird energy in the room, you just swiftly said goodbye, not bothering to stay to hear his goodbye.
He wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to do something, perhaps eat brunch at the restaurant you talked about to Cassian but you were moving before he had the chance. Azriel got extremely annoyed with himself, wondering why the hell he couldnât ask you out like a normal person.
With determination, he promised himself to try the next time.
â
The girls all knew about your very obvious crush on Azriel and encouraged you to approach him often. They were all mated and happy and you wish it was you, you that had a mate, you who got loved and kissed and hugged and fucked.
But you just had to be obsessed with a man that paid you no attention⌠Maybe thatâs why you wanted him, you viewed him as a challenge, and you loved challenges. Despite wanting his attention and wanting to get to know him, you still had self-respect and didnât act like a pathetic, desperate, love-sick puppy infront of him.
So you went from always greeting him and smiling at him, trying to initiate conversations to flat out ignoring him. I mean, he never talked to you first so maybe it was time to accept it and just admire him from afar.
â
Azriel began to sense a dullness in his days, a void he couldn't really pinpoint. He realized he hadnât talked to you, or rather, you hadn't talked to him while he played it cool, trying not to make his beating heart obvious. He noticed the absence of your chatter, questions and lovely voice, realizing that his days grew more mundane and boring without someone asking about his shadows, what his plans were, where he got Truth-Teller.
Azriel observed during dinner that you didn't glance at him once; your attention was solely on the girls or his brothers. You chose to stand up, walk across the dining room and grab the bowl of potatoes beside him instead of asking him for it, and it really irked him. Was he not worthy of passing a simple bowl of fucking potatoes?
He wondered if he had done something to make you avoid talking to him. Despite not being the most talkative person, he paid very close attention to everything you said, even if it seemed unnoticed. Azriel loved your presence and he thought he made his interest in you very clear when he looked at you.
Cassian had said girls like eye contact, still everytime he stared into your soul, you only looked weirded out. Was he doing it wrong? Maybe he wasnât keeping eye contact long enough.
He had grown extremely fond of your talking and felt empty without it. Finding you alone in the kitchen while you prepared a quick breakfast, Azriel decided it was time to talk. The others had already headed to the training grounds as you had slept in. You were cooking your breakfast, not noticing Azriel.
âHey.â
You stopped dead in your tracks, frozen in place as you slowly looked up at him. Was he really talking to you? But why?
âYeah?â
He stayed quiet for a bit, just staring at you in that weird way he always did. Even though he wasn't sure if you liked him back and was afraid of rejection, he still wanted to talk to you.
âHow have you been?â
You fight the urge to furrow your brows in confusion. Since when the hell did Azriel care? You were truly baffled and tried to act normal.
âUh, Iâve been good, you?â
Azriel didnât like this. He didnât like this at all.
Usually, you'd spontaneously share every detail of your morning routine, even without him asking. He fucking loved to listen as you talked about your broken hairbrush, the struggle of choosing clothes, the snug fit of your leathers due to gained muscles, and the morning hassle with your hair, prompting you to wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual.
âIâm okay. Have you done anything else today? How is your hairbrush?â
A stupid question really, but Azriel didnât care. He wanted to see that familiar spark in your eyes as you talked about anything and everything. No way would he ever forgive himself if he ruined something between you.
Your face heated at the fact that he remembered such a minuscule detail about something you said weeks ago.
âOh, the hairbrush? It broke so I got an enchanted one. Heard it's like a hair miracle, tried it, and it really worked. By the way, your hair looks good. Did you cut it lately?â
Azriel couldn't help but warm up at your rambling. His eyes widened at first, and then he threw his head back and laughed. The deep, rich sound was familiar, yet it never failed to feel like the first time. It was a beautiful and joyful melody that always managed to make you melt on the inside.
"I really missed you," he admitted, feeling your heart pound in your chest, unable to meet his gaze.
"You did?" Azriel's soft smile warmed your heart, the one you'd nearly missed.
"I did. I enjoy being around you and hearing your voice," he confessed.
"Oh, I always thought you didnât." You couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and relief.
Stepping closer, Azriel's presence loomed over you, his hand gently lifting your chin.
âPlease, donât misunderstand me. Iâm sorry that my silence ever gave you that impression. I thought I was making my interest clear, to be honest,â he murmured, sincerity gleaming in his hazel eyes.
âOkay, I promise I wonât misunderstand again. But why did you think you made yourself clear?â you whispered, feeling a rush of energy as you locked eyes with him.
âBecause I made a point of holding prolonged eye contact, thinking it was a clear signal of my interest,â he explained matter-of-factly.
You couldn't help but raise your eyebrows, suppressing a laugh. âSo, all those times you were staring at me, you were actually flirting?â
Azriel's expression softened, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. âWell, yes. I thought you knew.â
Suppressing a giggle, you bit your lip and glanced away, not wanting to offend him.
âAh, not exactly crystal clear, but I understand now. Letâs go for a walk and chat some more,â you suggested, linking your arm through his.
"Sounds perfect. Now, tell me about those new leathers you got," he said, his playful demeanor easing the tension, steering the conversation towards lighter topics.
â
Over the next few months, the bond between you and Azriel deepened. He trusted you with secrets of his life that remained hidden from everyone else. These private conversations became the pillars of your connection, sweet moments for you only.
As the months went by, an unspoken desire for more lingered between you and Azriel. Yet, despite the magnetic pull, something kept you from going the final step.
You've had countless close moments where you almost kissed, where just a tip-toe closer would have sealed the deal. But it never happened. So close, yet so frustratingly far away.
â
Mor's question disrupted the laughter and gossiping of the girls' night, the clinking of wine glasses punctuating the anticipation in the air.
"Remind me again why you and Azriel arenât a couple?â
Mor's curiosity hung palpably, shifting the mood from gossiping to an interrogation.
âWell, itâs kinda complicated,â you replied, swirling the wine in your glass as you gathered your thoughts.
âWe have a great connection, but there's this unspoken understanding between us. Itâs like there's a boundary we're afraid to cross.â
Amren raised an eyebrow, her sharp eyes observing you closely. âUnspoken understanding? Fancy fucking excuseâ
Elain giggled and nodded in agreement.
You chuckled, âMaybe it is, but itâs like we're both tiptoeing around something, afraid to ruin what we have. I mean, do I want to be with him? Yeah, I do. But we might fuck something up and I think we have too good of a relationship to throw it all away.â
Nesta leaned back with a smirk, âSounds like a case of unresolved sexual tension. Maybe the only cure would be to finally get a good dicking.â
You shot her a look, âYou make it sound like a medical condition. Also that has got to be some plot from your smutty books.â
Feyre chimed in, âMaybe it is. Maybe it's time you took a bold step to see what happens. Who knows, it might get you laid.â
The group erupted into laughter, but underneath it, you couldnât ignore the truth in their words. You liked him, there was no denying it. But did he like you as much?
â
âIs she dating anyone?â Rhysandâs casual question caught Azriel off guard as he browsed his big wine selections with Cassian while the girls where out of the house.
Azriel feigned ignorance. âWho?â
Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a knowing look. âY/N. Is she dating anyone?â
Something about the question irked Azriel. âWhy the hell do you care?â
Rhysand shrugged nonchalantly. âJust curious. I might set her up with someone.â
Azriel's jaw clenched as he fought to mask his frustration. Rhysand's casual tone grated on his nerves, igniting a simmering jealousy he hadn't realized he harbored. Suppressing a sigh, he forced himself to respond evenly,
âShe's a grown female, Rhys. She doesn't need you playing matchmaker for her.â
Cassian chuckled, sensing the tension in the air. âEasy, Az. No need to get defensive. I think little Y/N might want a lover of her own, no?â
Azriel's gaze hardened, a flicker of annoyance flashing in his eyes. âI'm not being defensive. I just don't appreciate your implication. And no, she doesnât need some lover.â
Rhysand raised an eyebrow, his smirk bordering on mischief. âInteresting. And why is that?â
Before Azriel could formulate a response, you had returned with the girls, your laughter echoing through the room, shifting the focus away from the questions. Azriel sighed, silently cursing Rhysand's annoying questions and the unresolved feelings stirring within him.
â
You turned off the tap and brought the glass of water to your mouth, much needed after the amounts of wine you and the girls had downed. It was honestly a miracle Mor had the energy to winnow you to the house of wind.
As the girls walked to the library for more drinking, you snuck into the kitchen for some water.
You put down the tall glass of water, swallowing the refreshing and cool drink before your body tingle.
Your stomach flipped, blood heating as your skin broke out in goosebumps.
His presence was undeniable.
Azriel was here.
Turning around to leave the sink, you saw him standing there behind the island, looking at you with a soft look that made your stomach flutter and cheeks heat.
"Hi," Azriel greeted softly as you approached him.
"Hi, Az." you replied, feeling a surge of warmth at the sight of him.
"Did you have fun with the girls?" he asked, his voice gentle.
"Yeah, I did," you answered with a smile as you looked down.
Azriel's lips twitched, and he gently lifted your chin with his pointer and thumb. He looked down at your midnight blue dress and raised his brows
"You look absolutely breathtaking."
Your heart beat faster and faster and you were damn sure your friends upstairs could hear how hard it drummed against your chest.
You leaned into his touch, the move careful and intentional. Azrielâs thumb rubbed against your jaw, your eyes glistening in awe at his handsome self.
âThank you. Itâs nothing special, I just like the color.â
Azriel's gaze softened, his eyes lingering on yours with a tenderness that made your knees weak. "It's not just the color," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you. Youâre beautiful."
A blush crept up your cheeks at his words, and you bit your lip nervously, unsure how to respond to such sincerity. But damn, he looked good, and the alcohol in your system made you feel bold enough to speak your mind.
"You look really good," you said, your voice a little breathless. "This shirt suits you."
Stepping closer, you let your hand rest on his sturdy chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips, the tension between you palpable. Slowly, your hand traveled down to the planes of his stomach, each movement filled with anticipation.
As you looked up at him with a mischievous smile, you played with his belt, the air crackling with the electric energy of the moment. His reaction was immediate, his gaze flickering with desire as the tension between you reached its peak.
Azriel clenched his jaw, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your breaths mingled. The sudden proximity caught you off guard, making you gasp softly.
"Careful," he murmured, his voice low and tinged with desire. "Let's not do things we can't handle."
Your breath hitched at his words, a shiver running down your spine as his proximity sent electric sparks coursing through you. âThat sounds like a challenge, Azriel,â you taunted, your voice barely a whisper.
Azrielâs smirk widened, his gaze burning with intensity. âConsider it an invitation.â
You looked at each other, breathing shallowly. Azrielâs intense gaze softened gradually as his eyes traveled further down to your lips. He swallowed, pupils wide with lust.
"May I-"
"Yes."
It was a tender, sweet kiss that caught you off guard in the best way possible. You didn't expect him to be so gentle, but you welcomed it wholeheartedly.
His touch was tender yet reassuring. One hand cradled the back of your head, while the other wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him.
You melted into his embrace, savoring every moment of closeness. Your hands found their way to his neck, clinging to him as if you never wanted to let go.
Azrielâs shadows swirled around you lazily, one trailing up your calf and causing you to twitch in surprise. Pulling back, you were met with his clouded, lustful eyes. A mixture of concern and confusion cleared up his hazy gaze.
Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Here you were, in the kitchen, making out with Azrielâthe very male you'd had a crush on for what felt like an eternity. Panic surged through you, and you took a step back, needing a moment to collect yourself.
âAre you okay?â
âMhm, Iâm fine, just give me one second,â you managed to stammer out before turning on your heel and practically stumbling out of the kitchen.
With your heart racing and your mind in a whirlwind, you burst into the library where the girls were lounging, each with a glass of wine in hand. Feyre perked up at your arrival, offering a lazy smile.
âThere you are, was wondering where you went,â she mused, clearly already feeling the effects of the alcohol.
Without thought, you blurted out the bombshell news. âGuys, Azriel and I kissed.â
The revelation seemed to sober up the entire room, and suddenly, you were bombarded with questions and reactions from your friends.
âOh my gods, finally,â Mor exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat
âIs he a good kisser? Was it rough or soft? How did he hold you?â Nesta fired off questions, her curiosity piqued.
âAll of you owe me 10 cold coins each. Iâm always right,â Feyre slumped back in her seat, sipping the wine as she nodded happily.
âI knew you were up to something while we were in here,â Amren chimed in with a knowing smirk.
You grinned widely as you shared all the details with the girls, who were just as excited as you were. They leaned in, eager to hear every bit of the story.
As the questions swirled around you, Elainâs confused expression brought the conversation to a halt.
âWait, why are you here? Arenât you supposed to be kissing right now?â she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.
You froze, the weight of her words sinking in. âWell, yes, we were just... making out, and I had to come here. I panicked.â
In response, your friends practically shoved you back outside, Nesta taking the lead. âAnd donât you dare come back until your legs are shaking and you have a big smile on your face,â she declared with a mischievous grin.
You took a deep breath, suppressing your smile as you made your way back to the kitchen. Azriel stood there, leaning against the kitchen island with his feet crossed and arms over his chest.
âAre you sure youâre okay? We donât have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,â he said, his voice laced with concern.
You softened at his words, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him down slightly, you gave him a loud kiss that ended with an audible "mwah."
"I really couldn't be more comfortable. I love you, Az. Like a whole lot," you confessed, your voice filled with sincerity and affection.
Azriel's eyes softened at your words, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle and tender.
"I love you too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than I can put into words."
You felt a rush of warmth flood through you at his admission, your heart fluttering with happiness. Without another word, you leaned in and kissed him again, the feeling of his lips against yours sending shivers down your spine.
Azriel grabbed your hips and slowly backed you into the kitchen island. You yelped when he picked you up and put you on the counter, deeping the kiss.
âLet me take you on a date. I want to do this properly,â he whispers breathlessly between kisses as he tucks your hair behind your ear.
You put your hands on his chest lovingly as you nod, smiling up at him. âIâd love that.â
â
extra scene where rhys and cassian visit azriel in the kitchen:
Azriel stood frozen as you left, his mind going into overdrive, worrying if he had done something wrong. Just as he was about to follow you, Rhys and Cassian popped their heads into the kitchen.
"Yo. Where did she go?" Cassian asked, scanning the empty kitchen.
Azriel furrowed his brows at the pair, or rather their heads.
"What the fuck are you doing here? Go before she comes back," he urged, shooing them away with his hand.
Rhys leaned against the kitchen island, a satisfied grin on his face. "It's about damn time."
Cassian nodded in agreement. "Fuck yeah, took him long enough. But hey, better late than never."
Azriel frowned, feeling the weight of their words. "You guys make it sound like it was some kind of mission."
Rhys chuckled. "In a way, it was. And you finally completed it."
Azriel sighed, "Stop talking like that, you sound fucking ancient.â
Cassian smirked at him, arms over his chest as he said âYâall kissed?â
Azriel's cheeks flushed slightly at Cassian's question, but he maintained his composure. "Yeah, we did."
Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. "And?"
Azriel shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "And it was... nice."
Cassian laughed, clapping Azriel on the back. "Nice? Come on, tongue?â
"Yeah, tongue,â he said trying and failing to suppress a smile.
Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. âI knew it, you little freak. What else?â
Azriel's expression turned guarded. âOkay, that's all you dickheads need to know. Now, get the fuck out before she comes back.â
Rhysandâs eyebrows shot up, a finger wagging in Azrielâs face. âYou better not fuck in my kitchen, I swear to the Mother, Iâll make you both scrub every inch.â
Azriel rolled his eyes and ushered them out, leaning against the kitchen island, waiting for you.
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#amren#mor#feyre archeron#nesta archeron#elain archeron#rhysand#cassian#acotar fanfiction
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Hybern: *points at y/n* We have your lover
Rhys: *looks at y/n* You have a lover?
Y/N: I wish
Hybern: Then who is the one who can't stop talking about how beautiful you are ? Or how melodic your laugh is or whenever he enters a room he always looks for you first because, according to him, your presence alone brings him peace and how that damn smile can make him feel this whole zoo in his stomach and he can't help but imagine how it feels like to kiss those lips and don't get him started with those eyes
Hybern: We had enough, so we didn't let him get started with those eyes
Cassian: Oh my god, they have Azriel!
Y/N: *looks at rhys* Now, if you get him back, I'll have a lover
Feyre: So none of you is concerned that hybern literally has azriel?
Cassian: Knowing him, he let them catch him so he can make someone confess his love for y/n cause he's to scared to do it himself
Hybern: He used us as wingman?
Rhys: Yeah. Just finish talking to him he is on his way home
#feyre#rhysand#cassian acotar#azriel#azriel x reader#king of hybern#acotar incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes
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Finding out you have a vibrator â headcanons
a/n: anon <3 requestâI think theyâd be a little grumpy at first, but then theyâd join forces and would be absolutely awful (but in the best way possible đ§Ąđ)
warnings: smut, blindfold + crying w/ Az, implied oral (f! recieving) w/ Lucien
Rhysand:
âAnd whatâs this?â Rhys asks, a smug note in his voice.
You turn around from where youâd been reorganising your desk, finding your mate reclined on the bed, playing with the familiar looking toy. Heat warms your cheeks, and you stride over to him, reaching for it.
âDonât go riffling through my things, Rhys,â you snap, leaning to ply the toy from his large palms.
His grin widens, hands instead gripping your hips as he hauls you atop him, bringing you to settle over his hip.
âI thought you liked it when IâŚexplored,â he muses softly, mouth brushing against your own as his palm grazes your spine, having you arch lightly.
âMe,â you murmur, settling into his hold. âWhen you explore me. Not whatâs in my side tables.â
âIs that right?â He drawls, holding down one of the small buttons, until the toy starts whirring faintly. âHow about we do a little exploring now?â
âRhysâŚâ you warn, hand wrapping around his wrist as you eye him warily. âI need to be cleaning my desk. Donât you dareâŚâ
But he lightly presses the whirring toy to your collar bone, dragging down, guiding the vibrator over your breast, circling your nipple lightly. âMmhm, Iâm sure youâd just love to go back to cleaning right now. Not sitting still and letting your loving mate give you some pleasure.â
Your throat rolls, and he trails the toy lower, guiding you so your legs sit either side his thigh. âYouâre so mischievous,â you mutter under your breath.
His smirk widens, pressing another button so the buzzing increases, holding your gaze as he trails the toy lower, then slipping it between your legs and his thigh.
âYou love my mischief, wife,â he whispers onto your lips, grinning.
âJust a little,â you murmur breathlessly, the vibrations soaking into your heat, whirring against your clit so deliciously.
His eyes twinkle, and warning bells ring dully in the background.
âLetâs see how much mischief you can take,â he muses, switching the toy to a higher setting.
Cassian:
You flush, trying not to fumble as the vibrator rolls out along with your other toiletries.
âHm? Whatâs that for?â Cassian asks, sneaking up on you with surprising grace for someone as large as him, powerful arms wrapping comfortably around your waist, resting his chin atop your head.
âThis? Oh, nothing,â you try, forcing a lightness into your voice. In honest youâd been packing in such a hurry you hadnât checked what had already been in there from your last trip aboutâŚfive years ago?
âIt helps your skin to glow,â you fumble, âit massages a lotion in to help permeate through theâŚoilsâŚâ
âIs that so,â he replies, chuckling lowly, palm flattening over your lower abdomen, his heat sinking in as he lowers himself to nose at your throat.
You nod, breath catching when he begins pressing kisses up your neck, nipping at a spot below your jaw.
His laugh rumbles deep through his chest, having heat pooling between your legs as his hands wander lower.
âYou think I donât know what a vibrator is, sweetheart?â He drawls, lips grazing against your ear, your insides fluttering with the intimacy.
âI do have to wonder why you have something like this, though. Should I be giving you more pleasure?â He asks lowly, thumbing the toy from your hands, guiding it beneath the thin slip of your dress, running the tip over your heat teasingly.
âNo, CassâŚIâdâ Iâd forgotten it was even in there,â you answer, fumbling as heat short-circuits your mind, arousal tingling between your thighs.
âUh-huh, sure you did,â he murmurs, nipping at your ear lightly, pulling your skirts up with his free hand so you can both watch as he presses the toy to your clit, holding the button down to have the rapid pulses zipping through it.
âCassâŚâ you pant, keeping your arms to your chest, subtly winding your hips against it, already so close to the edge from the sudden turn. How familiar he is with your pleasure.
âYou should have brought this out earlier,â he remarks, rolling the toy over your clit, lightly dragging it up at down, shifting the amount of pressure he applies to it.
âYouâre in for a long night now.â
Azriel:
âAzâŚâ you mumble breathlessly, tears dripping down your cheeks, saturating through the silky blindfold. âA-AzâŚpleaseâŚI canâtââŚâ
But he shushes you, powerful body curving over yours, chest pressing flush against your bare back, hot palm sliding over your lower abdomen, applying a slight pressure, keeping his hips pressed tight to the backs of your thighs.
âYouâre taking me so well,â he murmurs, mouth brushing the side of your neck. âI know you like being good for me. So perfect at it, huh?â
You swallow thickly, whimpering softly, shifting on your elbows as you bite your lip, trying to slowly push back against him. The rope rubs at your wrists, bound comfortably, providing a tight constraint that put you at his mercy.
âAzâŚâ you moan, back curving as you settle your front closer to the bed, breasts pressing into the mattress as you spread your thighs wider, trying to push against him to let him deeper. âAzrielâŚâ
He groans from low in his throat, pulling away from your back as his broad palms settle around your hips, thumbs brushing over the small dips at the base of your spine.
âSo good for me, arenât you?â He praises, drawing his hips back slowly, if only to gently roll back in, using the cultivated muscle contained within his body to hold you against him, skin pressed tight.
âWant to try something else tonight?â He prompts, able to hear the faint smirk in his voice.
You whimper, squirming as you chase the feeling of his cock, how it touches those lovely spots, butterflies fluttering as arousal has your insides spasming with pleasure.
Azriel laughs lowly, chuckling softly as his weight shifts on the bed, your thighs trembling from pleasure, more tears dripping from beneath the blindfold.
âA-AzrielâŚ?â You call weakly as you feel him shifting, stomach coiling with tension at what mischief heâs about to unleash upon you. Youâre not sure if you can take it.
âYou know, theyâre inquisitive things,â he muses, finished reaching to whatever he was after. âShadows,â he clarifies, trailing something lightly down your spineââŚslowly. âYou know they like youâwant to know more.â
âAzrielâŚpleaseâŚâ you beg softly, trying to roll your hips against him, squeezing him, pulling him deeper.
âMhmm? More?â He drawls, that unknown object trailing over your hip as he guides it closer to between your legs.
You flinch as he presses the object just shy of your clit, puffy and swollen from his relentless stimulation, and your breath catches.
âRecognise that, huh?â He murmurs, once again curving over you, chest pressing flush to your back, wings flaring with mutual possession, keeping you tucked away with him. âFeels familiar?â
âAz, waitââ
âWant me to stop?â
You pause, squeezing him, spine curving a little more, and he presses a soft kiss to the side of your throat.
âNoâŚâ
Eris:
âEris? Eris what are youââ You falter, seeing the small, cylindrical object he has between his fingers.
âWould you like to tell me why you have this tucked away?â He asks, raising his fiery eyes to yours with a disapproving look. ââŚWife.â
You flush, lips parting as you glance away in embarrassment. âEris, listenâŚIââ
âStay there,â he orders idly, and you pause, teeth pulling at the inside of your lip.
You watch, heart fluttering in your chest as he walks leisurely past your chest of drawers, settling in one of the large chairs of your shared bedroom. All the while heat unspools between your legs.
âLock the door,â he instructs softly, the order sliding down your spine, making you suck in a small breath.
Without hesitation, you turn, clicking the lock to your shared chambers, feeling excited, ready for whatever he wants to do.
âCome here,â he says, the stance of his legs widening as he settles back in the plush armchair, your spine stiffening as arousal prickles beneath your skin.
You walk over to him, heat warming your body with anticipation as you come to a stop between his parted legs.
He inclines his chin, watching you with hunger in his eyes, arms settled over the rests either side, holding the toy between his thumb and fingers. âCome here.â
Your heart flutters, heat flooding your lower body as you swallow thickly, lip being tugged between your teeth subtly as you put yourself over his lap.
âEris?â You ask softly, hands starting properly on his broad shoulders, before relaxing into his touch, palms sliding down his front to the hem of his trousers.
âWhy did you keep this from me?â He asks, raising the toy to pull your attention to it, keeping his gaze on you.
âI forgot about it,â you answer quietly, trying to hold still in his lap, not wanting to give him further reason toâŚwhatever he has planned.
âMhmm,â he hums, and your breath catches as his hands settle over your thighs, fingers gradually pulling up the fabric of your dress.
âAnd when was the last time you used this?â He muses, continuing to move your clothing out of the way.
âUhâŚI donâtâŚI canât rememberâŚâ you mumble, trailing off as his fingers dip beneath the band of your underwear, snapping it against your abdomen in reprimand.
âWhen was the last time?â He goads, free hand settling over your hip, holding the material up and out of the way.
âIâŚwhen you went away,â you answer breathlessly as he pulls your underwear back. âTwo months agoâŚâ
Eris hums, thumb stroking over the bare skin of your hip. âBetter,â he says, âbut you shouldnât have hidden this, fawn.â
Your hips wind over him, grinding down as that arousal spools between your thighs.
âErisâŚpleaseâŚâ you breathe, gazing at him.
âPlease what?â He asks, pushing the toy to your clit, having you inhale shakily.
âMoreâŚâ you ask, fingers pressing into his chest, feeling his heat beneath your touch.
âMore?â He repeats, the edge of his mouth sharpening. âYou sure about that?â
You nod, gasping when he holds the button down, and you fall against his chest, arms sliding over his shoulders as your thighs part further.
His hands splay against your waist, one brushing between your shoulder blades, holding you close.
âRemember you started this,â he whispers beside your ear, as you wind over his lap. âIâll decide when to finish it.â
Lucien:
âLucienâŚwhat are you doing?â You ask, coming back to find him sat in his chair by the window that overlooks the garden, book open in his lap, holding the whirring toy to the muscle at the back of his shoulders.
âHm? This?â He asks, smirking as he holds the toy up. âIsnât this what itâs for?â
âIâŚâ you fumble, unsure how to reply. You swallow thickly, before holding up the basket of food youâd gotten from the market. âIâm going to put these away,â you excuse, hurriedly moving to the kitchen to unload.
He hums, chuckling as you flee to safer space, setting the basket on the table as you begin sorting your supplies into groups: jams, pastries, drinks, until you get down to the vegetables.
And realise how quiet heâs gone.
âGood haul,â Lucien murmurs beside your ear, arms wrapping around your waist, pulling your back to his chest. âGood timing too. I was getting hungry.â
You inhale sharply when he nips at your throat, licking at the length of your throat.
âLuâŚâ you breathe, heat warming your skin out of habit at the proximity of your mate.
âHmm?â He muses, chest pressing into your back, bending you over the counter. âWhat is it?â
âLuâŚâ you murmur breathlessly, âwhat are you doing?â
He noses at the space below your jaw, shifting closer to your side as his hand rests at the top of your spine, keeping you bent over as he pulls your skirts up.
âYouâve kept this hidden from me, hm?â He asks quietly, a smug note in his voice as his hand slips between your thighs, pulling your clothing up so it settles at the curve of your back.
âI didnât intend toâŚâ you murmur, heat flushing your skin beneath his touch. âYouâd be mean with it, anyway.â
âI canât imagine what youâre talking about,â he laughs lowly, âI think Iâm lovely to you.â
âOnly when it suits you,â you whine, legs parting a little wider as he holds the toy gently to your clit.
âAnd itâll suit me very well to be good to you now,â he muses, and you hear the click of the button as he holds it down. âIf youâll be good for me, too.â
âIâll be good,â you breathe, thighs trembling as the vibrations wash against your clit, sending heat melting through your body. âJustâŚplease, Lu⌠No teasing.â
âNo teasing?â He repeats, chuckling, clicking the button again to increase the intensity of the whirring. A moan is pulled from your lips, head dipping, pressing your face into the crook of your elbow as you pant breathlessly.
He hums, pressing a hot kiss to your throat. âAlright. No teasing.â
You sigh with relief, but then heâs pulling away, kneeling behind you while keeping the toy buzzing against your clit. âBut Iâm still hungry, Princess.â
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