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capitan-marvel · 2 years

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Accidentally In Love

It started out innocent. Then, like everything with Merlin and Arthur, it devolved. Arthur giving Merlin his old clothes became a habit out of necessity, seeing as when Merlin arrived in Camelot it was with very little, and as he was dirt poor, he had almost no clothes. Merlin apparently hadn’t thought that far ahead, which is just another thing about him that drives Arthur crazy. Then, over the years as the two grew closer, it became just a tradition. When Arthur grew tired of a certain shirt or pair of pants (i.e. when he outgrew them), he would give them to Merlin. Slowly over the years, their relationship had turned from a strained manservant/lord to best friends. After a particularly harrowing situation, Merlin was gifted Arthur’s mother’s sigil stamped into a small medallion that Merlin kept tied around his neck permanently, a great honour. It was after that moment that they became settled into their comfort with each other. Late nights were spent in Arthur’s private chambers, heads bent over various scrolls or maps, dishes of food left half finished and abandoned. It didn’t take long for Gaius and the other knights to notice the shift in the two. Whatever they personally thought, they kept amongst themselves, unsure what was happening and what would come of it.

It was then that Merlin started being more liberal with his magic. He had picked up on things Arthur detested over the years of serving him; certain foods, the way some clothes felt on his skin, and how fast his hair grew due to the amount of time spent under the sun. So Merlin began to test out some old, and new, spells. Some food transmutation on days where the kitchen sent up something he knew Arthur would not eat and would only go to waste. Then he got bold, changing the texture of some articles of clothing. The biggest and most difficult spell, however, was keeping Arthur’s hair short. So far Merlin hadn’t been able to find out how to stop the growth of hair, since it was something that went directly against nature, but he had discovered a way to slow down the process, making the time between trims longer. It was beneficial to Merlin, really, all the changes he was making with his magic. It meant less work and headaches for him as Arthur’s manservant in the long run.

At least, that’s how he justified it.

Gaius took notice then, when Merlin made the change to Arthur’s hair. He was rightfully upset, stating that Merlin shouldn’t be using his magic on others, especially future kings, to start with, and that he shouldn’t be using his magic for such silly mundane things. It was the biggest fight Gaius and Merlin had ever had to date. Eventually, Merlin saw Gaius’s perspective, and undid the spell, instead taking up the role of cutting Arthur’s hair for him. Arthur claimed that Merlin cut his hair better than anyone, but Merlin was convinced this was just another task set to him as a punishment for his snarky comments. He had made some comments recently about the amount of clothes Arthur had been outgrowing recently, to which Arthur had put him into a headlock and ruffled his hair so furiously it had hurt his head.

Merlin was thinking about all of this while standing off to the side during a meeting that Arthur was having with his father and some of the other lords of the country. Merlin had stepped foot into the council room and immediately tuned everything out. He was mostly only allowed to stand in on these meetings because he served Arthur directly, but also because he has proven his loyalty to the crown over the years he’s been in Camelot. Uther saw him as an idiot, but a loyal one, which is why he was so lax with Merlin and where he went around the castle. He knew that Merlin would sacrifice everything to save his son, something that was hard to come by for the royal family. Merlin happened to be the only servant in this meeting, which wasn’t unusual, but Uther sometimes had a servant with him too. Merlin paid it no mind, figuring Uther was in a pissy mood today.

“King Alined, King Olaf, and their royal companies will be arriving within the fortnight, so be sure to prepare for an excess of nights, nobles and ladies-in-waiting,” Uther was saying. Merlin glanced over at the table, noticing the parchments had been rolled up and set aside, the men surrounding the table having apparently convened their meeting already. “Some others from neighbouring states and smaller provinces will be arriving too,” Uther seemed stressed, as if unsure how he would be able to host all these people. Merlin was unsure what the occasion was and wanted to ask, but knew that he was also only permitted during these meetings on the condition that he made no noise.

Thankfully, Arthur seemed to be just as confused as Merlin. “What is the occasion for us hosting all these people again?” He was looking quizzically as his lord father, as if trying to remember what Uther had said in past meetings.

Uther rolled his eyes, evidently fed up with his son. “Your wedding,” he said casually, as if it was the only obvious explanation. Merlin choked on his breath, drawing the attention of Uther and Arthur. The others from this meeting had slipped out at this point, making everything less formal.

Uther just stared at Merlin like he had been personally offended by Merlin choking, until Merlin bowed his head, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty.” Merlin offered no explanation, knowing that had never helped him. Uther just turned his attention back to his son.

“My wedding,” Arthur clarified. Uther nodded, gathering up some scrolls and beginning to walk towards the exit, done with the two boys. “Who am I marrying again, Father?” Arthur called after Uther. Merlin was a little surprised that Arthur didn’t even know this.

“Merlin, you fool,” was all that Uther said, striding calmly from the room. The silence that filled the room after the door banged shut was deafening. Merlin and Arthur were to be wed within the fortnight? The two glanced at each other, before bursting out into laughter. So Uther had either gone insane, or finally gained a sense of humour. At the very least, life would be less monotonous in the castle. Merlin walked over to the table and gathered the scrolls to return to the library still smiling, and Arthur swung his arm around Merlin’s shoulder, still chuckling.

“Come along, dear husband. We have much to prepare.”

Neither of them had any idea what was in store for the two.

Over the next two weeks, Merlin started to notice things. Nothing too big, but big enough to notice. Some of the knights who were less familiar with him were nicer, more polite. They also tried to make small talk more than they did before. He also noticed more and more druids hanging just out of range when he went herb searching for Gaius in the woods. They didn’t press him, test their magic against his, but he could feel them hovering around the edge of his reach, just feeling; curious. The first time it happened Merlin almost jumped out of his skin ready to look around, but caught himself just in time because now he had two armed guards escort him on his chores for Gaius. That was new too. Merlin had asked Arthur about it late one night in the prince’s chambers, but it wasn’t him who assigned the guards. They both figured since the two guards kept silent the entire time that it was either Gaius’s or Uther’s doing. Merlin shook them off quite often, but they always turned up at some point or another, just accompanying him from chore to chore.

Surprisingly, neither Merlin nor Arthur thought much about it. They figured because of how long Merlin had been working in close quarters to the royal family for so long, he had become a sort of protected servant, someone they didn’t want to lose, like Gwen. Someone they trusted and would hate to have to replace, which was a nice feeling for Merlin. Feeling like he was wanted, like it would suck without him. It was the same feeling he had gotten when Arthur had gifted him his mother’s sigil. Merlin reached up and rubbed it gently now, glancing to his sides at the guards walking with him.

The weirdest thing, however, was how some of Merlin’s friends had started to treat him. Gwen teased him much more about Arthur, after Merlin had told her about the incident in the meeting room, referring to Arthur as “his husband”, or his “dear beloved”. At first Merlin had bristled at the terms, not liking it, but then he realised Gwen was just teasing him, and he started to join in. Sometimes the knights they passed in the halls would overhear and shoot odd looks at them, but Merlin hardly paid any attention to odd looks he got from knights anymore.

Soon enough, all of the guests for the mysterious event had arrived, and Merlin was busy helping to prepare for their stay. The days passed in a blur of weird looks and chores, so many chores. Some nights Merlin found himself falling asleep in Arthur’s room at the table they spent so long at, and some mornings Merlin found himself waking up in his bed when he didn’t remember walking there. He paid it no mind, knowing that sometimes his magic looked after him, and carried on with preparations for the banquet that was to be held on the first night of the new moon.

On the day of the banquet, the two guards that had been tailing Merlin the past two weeks arrived at Gaius’s door with summons from the king himself. Merlin’s brow had furrowed at the order, but he did what he was told, not wanting to end up being pelted with rotting food today of all days. Arthur would kill him if he showed up to dinner stinking again. When he arrived in the throne room, it was to see Arthur, Uther, and a man Merlin hadn’t expected to see: Geoffrey of Monmouth.

“Your Majesty?” Merlin questioned before he was able to bite his tongue. He was unsure what was about to happen, thinking maybe he and Arthur would be called away to fetch an ancient and rare scroll for the Royal Librarian, which would totally suck.

Uther looked him up and down with a pinched look on his face, as if Merlin’s clothes were covered in horse dung, but waved him forward nonetheless. “Merlin, this is Geoffrey of Monmouth, aw I’m sure you’re well aware. He will be performing today’s ceremony.” Merlin’s feet had carried him over to stand next to Arthur, who seemed just as confused as he was, if the way his shoulders were tensed was anything to go off. Arthur didn’t like not knowing what was happening, it made him nervous, which made him sink back into his training. Hence the tense shoulders.

“Merlin is here now, Father, so could you please tell me what’s going on now?” Arthur’s voice was tight, and Merlin wondered briefly how long the three of them had been waiting for him. And why Uther had decided to keep this from his son.

“I thought I had made it abundantly clear, son.” Uther was starting to lose his patience, and as Merlin took a step back out of habit Arthur took a step in front of him, as if to shield Merlin from his father. Merlin wondered when Arthur had become so protective. “You will be marrying Merlin today, it’s been long enough since you two became engaged.” At this, the two paused to take in their king’s words. Merlin wanted to laugh in Uther’s face, but feared what his reaction might be so he bit it down.

Arthur was apparently fearless because he huffed in amusement, thinking it another joke, but Uther’s face remained as unreadable as ever. “Engaged, Father?” Yes, because that was the first thing that needed to be said. Not ‘we’re not actually engaged, Father,’ because that’s less important of a thing to clear up.

“You gave Merlin your mother’s sigil,” Uther seemed to be speaking through his teeth, as if addressing a child who just was not following. Which, Merlin was starting to feel a bit like. “Yes?” Arthur nodded, knowing not to interrupt his father now. “Then I don’t see what the issue is. I have already approved. Although it would have been nice for you to marry for an alliance, your engagement to Merlin seems to have brought enough peace throughout the land. Probably out of confusion,” Uther seemed to be muttering to himself now, “but alas, who am I to stop my only son from marrying the one he loves” Uther turned to face Geoffrey of Monmouth now. “Geoffrey, now, if you would please.”

And so that’s how Merlin and Arthur ended up holding hands in front of the old librarian and King Uther Pendragon, being married. Merlin was in too much shock to really process what was happening, his mind picking out moments over the last two weeks to supply as evidence that he should have known that Uther doesn’t make jokes. Merlin was still in a stupor as Geoffrey of Monmouth came to and end of the ceremony, pronouncing them man and husband, commanding them to kiss. Merlin barely registered Arthur pressing their mouths together, barely felt himself be guided from the throne room and into a seat at the banquet, and heard a muffled roar of congratulations from guests followed by lively chatter and dishware clinking.

Merlin only tuned back in when he and Arthur had been safely deposited back at Arthur’s bedchambers. Their bedchambers. Because they were married now. Merlin turned to look at Arthur, releasing that Arthur had already been looking at him with the same unreadable expression his father usually wore.

“What,” Merlin stressed. Arthur’s face was still unreadable. Merlin wanted to scream. “The hell was that.” It was the one and only time Merlin had seriously given Arthur an order, which seemed to register with Arthur. He pulled Merlin over to the table, where they sat every night to eat dinner and pour over parchment, and stared at Merlin. They sat, Arthur gracefully and Merlin like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Merlin was still waiting for an answer.

“Have you really no idea what’s been going on?” Merlin felt like he should take that as an insult, but he was so deeply confused that he couldn’t bring himself to feel angry. He shook his head. “Merlin,” Arthur said his name with a sigh, like he was almost disappointed. Merlin felt angry at that.

“It’s not like I’ve had much time,” Merlin practically exploded. Everything that had happened recently just came to the top and flooded out. “I’ve been followed around by armed guards for the last two weeks, everyone’s been staring at me like I’ve grown a second head, which is a different type of the strange looks I get, Gwen won’t stop teasing me about you, and now we’re married! Which, by the way,” Merlin took in a deep breath, completely steamrolling whatever Arthur had been about to say. “You seem to be completely fine with, for some reason.”

In the silence that followed, all that could be heard was Merlin’s heavy breathing. Then, Arthur laughed. It wasn’t a malicious laugh, it was one of genuine joy, which did funny things to Merlin’s heart, much to his confusion. At Merlin’s stunned reaction Arthur started to sober up, realising he really had no idea.

“Merlin, you idiot,” Arthur said in a strained voice. “I’ve been courting you. I just didn’t think Father would actually wed us,” he muttered, more to himself.

Oh.

“Since when?” Merlin asked, almost indignantly.

Arthur laughed. “Since I gave you that necklace you haven’t taken off.” Merlin’s hand instantly came up to rub at the medallion, the metal soft and smooth from how much he had rubbed it since it was tied around his neck. Arthur’s eyes traced his movement and Merlin realised a few things at once.

One: Arthur had been courting him. The clothes and the sigil, the late nights in Arthur’s, their, room. The sudden increase in physical affection, although in the form of roughhousing.

Two: That’s why he had been getting all the odd looks. Because he was the Crown Prince’s fiance, and had been going about as if he was still a servant.

And three: He was completely, irrevocably, in love with this clotpole of a prince.

Without giving himself much more time to think about it, he launched himself at Arthur and kissed him soundly, letting his full body weight fall into his prince’s arms, knowing he could take it. Arthur moaned slightly and wrapped his arms around Merlin, moving the magician’s legs to fall on either side of Arthur’s hips, so Merlin was straddling him. They sat there for a while, familiarising themselves with each other’s mouths, tracing hidden veins across necks and shoulders, leaving possessive marks on the other’s skin.

Eventually they pulled away, grinning softly at each other.

“Let’s go to bed, husband,” Arthur said softly, brushing a lock of hair from Merlin’s face. Merlin kissed Arthur softly.

“Let’s,” Merlin smiled. “Husband.”

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capitan-marvel · 2 years

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Can I ask why you hate wandavision? something won´t sit right with me and wanted to see your reasons

Wow, this is a strange old question... but I get it (? I guess...

Mmmm... well... It's complicated. I did hate it, not gonna lie, for multiple reasons. And despite what some might think, it's not for the theories that didn't became true or for the fake Peter thing. Those were like the final spit in the face but that is not my main reason at all.

Want to make clear, this is MY personal opinion, you can totally disagree, it's just the way I experienced it.

I´ll try to be brief. First, I did not like the whole structure of the show. It may be just me, but as a big fan of mystery, I don't think it worked. They start very well, the first episodes are engaging, and have a very good mystery around the whole thing. I loved them, we had no idea of what the fuck was happening and it was awesome.

And then they did what I most HATE in mystery. They built up the mystery and then... nothing happened. It happened several times, they would make a big deal about a revelation, and it turned out to be nothing, not really that important, or something we already knew. It just felt cheap. They make you wonder what is happening, and boringly answer it in episode 4. They leave the crumbs and then deliver nothing, at least for the most part. And come on, the writers are not stupid, they knew the fans would theorize with those crumbs and just used them to keep us watching. Let's put a pin here.

Second and most important, Wanda. I HATED what they did with her. And in retrospect, it's a problem that comes since she was first introduced. If she was a poorly written character before, I think this show absolutely destroyed her.

Let me try to explain my view. Wanda´s character falls under the terrible trope of "I do bad things but at some point, the writers decided you have to forgive me because I have suffered" And she just stays there.

You´ll see, until the very last episode, I was into it, I had hope in the show. I cried along with everyone with "grieve is love persevering" and all. I think this is what angers me the most, it started so well, it was Wanda´s story with her grieve. Because you´ll see... I used to identify myself a lot with her.

Not so long ago, I also lost someone I deeply loved, like Wanda, and with whom I did not felt like I had enough time. And you know what I learned since then? Grieve is a horrible thing.

Often the media tones down what grieve really is, or what it can do to a person. It makes it look like is just "feeling really sad". When it really is so much more. Grieve can be so ugly, truly so ugly. It puts you in a terrible place where you can do terrible things. You fall into a hole aand it changes you. And it is a very human thing.

When this show progressed, I thought that they would finally show this ugly side of grieve, it was a perfect metaphor, her powers were making everyone literally feel her pain.

And they did, but the problem is that it just ended there. Because the most important thing about getting out of this ugly grieve is realizing that your pain does not give you the right to hurt others, is realizing that you are not the only one in pain, is learning that even in grieve, you are still responsible for your actions. I do not lie when I tell you, this is part of the healing process, it is a fundamental part of what gets you out of the hole.

Everyone that has lost someone knows that part of the healing is not just getting out of the hole, is also learning to live with your pain and with the ugly emotions it makes you feel. Is learning to deal with the consequences what helps you get better.

But Wanda doesn't do that, and is terrible, not only as a message, but it also doesn't let the character have real growth, real healing.

She suffers so she makes others suffer and then goes to the mountains. This cycle of pain is never broken. Its straight up a villain origin story, but nobody took it that way. Because the show wants you to feel bad for her, wants you to have empathy for her and to think she is still a hero.

Even Tony Stark, who is a totally different kind of problematic, becomes a hero because he actually tries to right his wrongs. Thor becomes a better man because he faces consequences for his arrogance. When exactly Wanda has this change of heart? The answer is never.

This show made me realize that this is not new, Wanda has always been like this. Her family died so she joined fucking Hydra, a literal terrorist nazi organization. And there are no consecuences. Then she joins Ultron, who she and Pietro helped for a big part of the movie. And she had no remorse in traumatizing the avengers and what's worst, unleashing the Hulk to an African town full of innocent people that died because what? Because Hawkeye made her head hurt so she was pissed? And again, there are no consecuences. The avengers never bring it up again and oh, she is a hero now.

Even in Civil War, she feels guilty for ten minutes, and then the movie makes her the victim again, because "oh poor her, Tony doesn't trust her and keeps her in the tower". And in Infinity War, she doesn't want Vision to die so she lets thousands of wakandians die in battle, yeah very heroic.

Almost every decision Wanda makes, even if it's made out of love, or pain, or grief, is selfish, immoral, and very harmful. And there are never consequences. She is just the victim. So she never grows, she never has to have a change of heart. Because everyone around her lets her get away with it.

Wandavision makes this problem even worst because it tries to distract you from the fact the Wanda is the real villain of the story by putting generic evil white dude here, and by putting Agatha, and making you believe that what they did to Wanda is somehow worst than what she is doing to an entire town.

They distract you with the false mystery, and the references, and the adorable kids, and how powerful she is. This is where I see the full problem with the structure I mentioned early. They don't commit to a single narrative, nor the mystery, nor the grieve. That is why the end feels disappointing and incomplete, at least for me, and I know I'm not the only one.

And the worst part is, is not the first place I see this. And the Wanda problem happens a lot with female characters. And I hate it. Is not empowering to see an abuser getting powers just because she is a woman. Is not empowering to see her have the empathy of everyone when all she has done is cause pain.

Don't get me wrong, I´m not saying Wanda didn't deserve empathy when this story started, or when she was grieving. Everyone deserves to have it, especially people in pain or with trauma. But you can have sympathy for someone and still calling them out for the pain THEY cause. You harm them more by not doing so. You are keeping them from growing out of it and healing.

How cool would it have been if Monica didn't just defend Wanda for no real reason and instead challenge her? What if she had told her all the pain she was causing and made her actually face it, face all the pain she was inflicting, and made her realized that all that pain would not really bring Vision back, it would not make her feel better, it was not worth it.

What if Wanda had to fight a hero like Monica, someone who is willing to sacrifice herself for others and who is also in pain but is choosing to be good anyways, who still takes the time to try and reason with her. What if it made her realize that she is becoming a villain, she is becoming like the people who took away her parents, and her brother, and Vision.

But no, there is no time to do that. There is no time for her nor the audience to really recognize all the pain she caused because we are now fighting Agath, and Wanda was a new suit, and let's feel a little more sorry for Wanda, and oh how sad, she has to say goodbye to the kids and Vision.

At the very least, she should have gone to a prison or a bunker or something. Like hun, why is Monica just letting her go free to the mountains with an unknown dark magic book after all that? No matter how sorry you feel for her, she is clearly dangerous, she has proven that. She showed you how unstable she is and how little control she has over her enormous power.

To all this I already said, add the racist connotations on how Monica's character was written, and the toxic way Wanda and Visions relationship is shown, and the writers blaming the fans for theorizing, and the terribly made final battle and the false Peter.

So yeah, this show felt like an insult. I can't bring myself to enjoy the cute show's parodies, and the beautiful costumes, and the natural charm and talent of all the actors, and the really funny lines, and the magnificent setting. And it's a shame because all that is truly good, because I know a lot of people worked really hard to make it happen and they did a fantastic job.

But everything about that finale makes me feel like the rest of the show, within the narrative, was all along worthless.

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capitan-marvel · 2 years

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And during all of that Steve was her biggest enabler!!!

Don’t mind me, I’m just having a MOOD about Wanda Maximoff...

(Possibly) unpopular opinion: Wanda Maximoff is fundamentally a selfish person. Wanda is a bad person that only believes she’s a good person.

I’m going to work my way backwards on all the truly ridiculously shit she’s done that the writers have handwaved.

WandaVision - I think most people can agree she was not the hero of this story. She mind controlled dozens, if not hundreds of people for over a week and kept them enslaved for her own happiness. Initially, it was accidental. Fine, but by episode 4, she has realized (at least on some level) that this is fake. But by episode 6-7 she more or less knows exactly what she’s done and continues on anyway, even if she doesn’t know the extent of the pain she’s putting these people in.

The second half of that last sentence is actually irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if these people are not in pain. You don’t get to intentionally steal all of someone’s documents, keep them locked in your home for months and pretend you haven’t committed a crime just because you’re not also beating them on the regular.

Wanda didn’t stop in the end because she is a good person. She would have stopped much, much earlier if she were. She stopped because the way that the people were treating her completely removed her ability to pretend she wasn’t a bad person doing bad things all this time.

Let’s briefly go back to Captain America Civil War.

I’m not blaming her for the beginning of the movie (side note: that was Steve’s fault. Wanda clearly has only been vaguely trained on her powers and shouldn’t have been on the field at all). We’re actually starting from the middle of the movie. Where she “breaks” out of the compound. That she’s treating like a prison, when she had, at most, been grounded. Even calling it a grounding is debatable, considering she hadn’t even known about it for the several days between the bombing and when Clint came by. She was basically being advised to keep a low profile while things calmed down (probably due to VISA issues).

BUT the moment she decides she wants to leave and is told, “Maybe, don’t,” she sends VISION, who she supposedly loves through god knows how many floors of a building that was meant to handle super soldiers training in it. Did she know he would be okay after that? That he would survive it? She didn’t check. And then, during the airport battle, she chides Clint for holding back in his fight with Natasha. Like, she’d forgotten that some of these people were her friends (or at least friends of her friends). But for Wanda, once you’re no longer on her side, your life means pretty little.

Finally we move right on back to Age of Ultron. Let’s leave out any theories on whether it was even reasonable for her to blame Tony for the deaths of her parents (was it Stane? Were those even real SI bombs?), grief isn’t rational. So fair enough. She blames Tony for her parent’s death and wants revenge. And decides to join Hydra for the chance to get powers for this revenge. Wanda was 26 in AOU in 2015, and even assuming that she got her powers the minute Hydra/SHIELD got the scepter in 2012, she still would have been 23. An adult, not a kid. Combine that with her powers literally allowing her to read minds, there is no way that she didn’t know she was working with Hydra. After which she went on to work for Ultron.

Now, here’s the rub. There is no possible explanation for working with actual neo-nazi’s in the 21st century and a mad AI intent on destruction (because he was totally planning on retiring to be a nurse after destroying the world’s heroes, right?) and still believing that you’re on the right side. Never mind the fact that the rest of the Avengers literally had nothing to her beef with Tony. Never mind that she let Tony go in that state of panic, hoping he’d do something destructive (and joining up with said destructive AI) or setting off the goddamn HULK.

All of that was totally done with the belief that no one would be harmed. Of course.

Of course not.

Wanda and her brother didn’t defect from Ultron because he wanted to kill a lot of people. They left because they and their country would die too. If it had just been America he was planning to destroy, they likely would have left him alone. She left Ultron because it benefited her to do so. She joined the Avengers because it benefitted her to do so. After all, what else was she going to do? Go on the run, living in poverty for the rest of her life? Remain in Sokovia and possibly be brought up on charges for her part in helping Ultron, Hydra and the disaster in Johannesburg? No.

Over and over again, innocent people get hurt or killed because of her. But these movies/shows treat her as if she is someone to sympathize with. Like it’s reasonable to intentionally cause the death and torture of people over and over… because she’s sad.

In all fairness, I can acknowledge that AOU soured me on her hard since they never actually showed feeling any sort of real remorse while she was doing all of that really evil shit.

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

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WinterIron Long Fic Recs

Recently I felt the desire for long(er) fics. Ones I hadn’t read yet. And were complete. And included some lesser known fics, since apparently I haven’t read as many as I thought I had! Winifred asked for the same, and I threw a veritable boatload of links at her (here’s the Stuckony one). So, hey, I did the hard work for you. ;) Here are my recs! :D Please enjoy!

(P.S. This list is not exhaustive. They’re mostly ones I hadn’t read until recently, or re-read and wanted to include.)

—

Safe and (the) Sound | tisfan, 27dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 84,000 words

Buy Your Pretty Heart | TheVagabondBoy | 34,000 words

Burn Your Biographies, Rewrite Your Histories | phlintandsteel @phlintandsteel-ao3 | 147,000 words

Norns Save Us (From Ourselves) | phlintandsteel @phlintandsteel-ao3 | 37,000 words

дезинформация (series) | Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) | Total: 162,000 words

Helping Hands | tisfan @tisfan | 69,000 words

Last Toast | Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) | 68,000 words

Mirror | usedupshiver @usedupshiver | 46,000 words

Forever Home | tisfan, 27dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 73,000 words

5 Time Supervillains Unwillingly Shipped WinterIron and 1 Time They Said it Outright | LokasennaHiddleston | 36,000 words

Forms of Love | bear_bell | 33,000 words

Empathic Responses | waterbird13 @waterbird13 | 138,000 words

Winter is Coming (AKA Fifty First Avengers Dates) | tisfan, 27 dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 110,000 words

Seize Yesterday | DannieU | 87,000 words

Barnes Family Motors, Inc. | phlintandsteel @phlintandsteel-ao3 | 69,000 words

Murderers and Thieves | tisfan, 27 dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 37,000 words

my light (smell) will guide you home | winterbitch (WinterLadyy) @wintersoldierland | 31,000 words

Indispensable | tisfan, 27dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 73,000 words

Brideprice | 27dragons @27dragons | 32,000 words

The Road to Knowhere | tisfan, 27dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 70,000 words

love has teeth which bite | whatshouldntbe | 121,000 words

The Secrets Between Us | Hippiebuckyharrington | 45,000 words

The Laird and the Lad | tisfan, 27dragons @tisfan @27dragons | 71,000 words

In Search of Something | tisfan @tisfan | 46,000 words

Still Alive | araydre, Menatiera, Neutralchaos, yeppers @araydre @menatiera | 62,000 words

tell me no | halfwheeze | 54,000 words

Autonomy | Amethystina @amethystinawrites | 114,000 words

Such Sweet Revenge | ali_aliska @ali-aliska | 168,000 words

The Guiding of Death | RayShippouUchiha @rayshippouuchiha | 41,000 words

The Evidence | StrivingArtist @striving-artist | 17,000 words

Hindsight | Amethystina @amethystinawrites | 32,000 words

механик | StarkTony1 | 48,000 words

What’s Good For the Goose | Taste_is_Sweet @taste-is-sweet | 36,000 words

From That Moment On | Shi_Toyu @shi-toyu | 80,000 words

Fractures (Filled With Liquid Gold) | itsallAvengers @itsallavengers | 63,000 words

Hate Me | Iron_Eirlyssa (Eirlyssa) @eirlyssa | 46,000 words

Soulmates Aren’t Just Lovers | celtic7irish @celtic7irish | 39,000 words

Operation HTWYH (series) | lantia4ever | 164,000 words

The Courage or the Fall (series) | Enmuse (Scifiroots) | 33,000 words

—

I am also on AO3 as Juulna, with a variety of Marvel ships.

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

Text

the quest for erebor, or, gandalf’s adventures in matchmaking

thorin: i’m thinking it’s time to get some revenge

gandalf: hmm ok i’ll help

gandalf: hey did you know this kid i once knew from the shire is still single

gandalf: how do i find the perfect hobbit for thorin?

gandalf: hmmm i need a good helping of baggins and a pinch of took

gandalf: bilbo! and why, he’s still single!

gandalf: a confirmed bachelor, even ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

thorin: there is no way a hobbit is gonna date me

gandalf: idk i think this one is gay enough

gandalf: take him

thorin: what if i said no

gandalf: then we can’t be friends

fili: so what’s his name

gandalf: bilbo baggins

fili: lmao dumb name

gandalf: i didn’t pick him for YOU

thorin: is it just me or is it like really hot in here

gandalf: well this should go well

bilbo: i’m here to cause problems and be a jackass

gandalf: this is not how i planned it in my fanfic

thorin: i’m not so sure about this

gandalf: YOU ARE STAYING THE NIGHT HERE

thorin: ugh if you like him so much okay i’ll take him but you’re coming to keep an eye on him

so in short:

(source: unfinished tales by jrr tolkien)

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

Text

thorin's company x teenage!human!reader (platonic)

hi i had this idea and i cant get it out of my head so here we go:)

imagine being a young, human teenager in the company (literally a baby in the dwarves eyes) and them being absolutely outraged to find out that you *technically* should be married. (because early human culture am i right?)

she/her pronouns / fem!reader

- [ ] the dwarves were horrified when gandalf dragged you along with them

- [ ] because you looked like a child??? and you were a girl, a human girl????

- [ ] when you told them your age, somewhere between 13 and 17, they all immediately forgot that humans age differently, and were even more pissed because *oh mahal you were a baby*

- [ ] so when they found out from a lady in a passing village questioning "are any of these dwarves your husband?" and "why aren't you married yet?" their thoughts consisted of *WHAT THE FUCK*

- [ ] they questioned you about it, obviously, because you're literally baby... why did that woman ask if you were married yet?

- [ ] you were so nonchalant about it because it's all you've ever known, so you were like "yeah human woman are usually married off at 14, but obviously that didn't happen with me ahahaha."

- [ ] SO nonchalant. in your eyes it wasn't even an issue? just something that happens on a day to day basis where you come from

- [ ] the dwarves were absolutely DISGUSTED. even bilbo, where in the shire the women are at least 19 or 20 before they are married.

- [ ] you told them about how your parents had already picked a suitor for you, but gandalf came and whisked you away before the wedding.

- [ ] they hated humans even more after that, specifically human men. how dare they just take children as wives? and have no respect for them or their age? how dare men even look at women at all?

- [ ] as we all know, dwarves are very protective naturally, even more so towards their women since theyre so rare, you better bet that they would not let a man near you. at all. any and all men but be at least 20 feet away from you at all times.

- [ ] theyre so protective over you. will in fact chase away anyone who asks for your hand.

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

Text

after popular demand, I bring you part two of

50 Durin House Rules And Other Declarations:

(Everyone lives AU)

51. Stop stealing Thorin’s beads and claim Dis has hid them.

52. Don’t sell Mithril shirts for own profit.

53. Dwalin is not allowed in the training room for longer than six hours a day. He needs rest too.

54. Don’t help Dwalin sneak into the training room. Even if he claims to cover for your next prank.

55. The limit for bathing is two hours. Staying in the tub for full days in no longer allowed. You can’t outrun your problems all day, Thorin.

56. Don’t let Fili sew anything.

57. Bow practice is no longer allowed inside the mountain.

58. DO NOT OFFER FILI AND KILI NERF GUNS

59. No more sentimental gifts for Dis. She doesn’t know how to behave for the next weeks.

60. Playing Y.M.C.A at a royal ball is not allowed.

61. Neither is playing Barbie Girl.

62. Stop arguing with Dis. You’re gonna ruin everybody’s day, because she’s gonna take her anger out on everybody else in the mountain, not just you!

63. For the love of Mahal, stop making those fuckboy faces to every important person that comes for royal meetings. This is not the impression we want to give off to visitors.

64. Eat bananas like a normal person would do.

65. No more snacks past 8 am.

66. Don’t let Fili and Kili watch horror movies alone.

67. Don’t leave Kili alone after horror movies. Ever.

68. Thorin, medical issues must be tended to. Whether you deem it necessary or not. Stop using the “it’s my stab wound” card. It’s not cool, it’s worrisome.

69. Taping a giant picture of Freddie Mercury on the throne is not appreciated.

70. Neither is ordering someone to make a portrait of him and hanging it in the hall of kings.

71. Stop dressing up in those inflatable dinosaur suits.

72. Don’t hand Dis a weapon. No matter the circumstances.

73. Fili is not allowed in the forges without supervision.

74. Kili is not qualified as supervision.

75. STOP.BRINGING.WOLVES.HOME.

76. Replacing Thorin’s wardrobe with bright green dresses is no longer a fun joke.

77. Wearing only a bathrobe is inappropriate and not a ‘fashion statement’.

78. Stop re-acting the Mustafar scene from Revenge of the Sith in the treasure room.

79. Claiming you need to because the lightsabers were 300 gold pieces each is not our problem. It’s yours.

80. Stop trying the hang the earlier mentioned Freddie Mercury portrait in the meeting hall. It is not a better alternative than the hall of kings.

81. DO NOT PROCEED TO HANG THE PORTRAIT BACK IN THE HALL OF KINGS AFTER THIS HAS BEEN SAID.

82. Both of them are not agreeable spots to hang the portrait.

83. Balin is not your servant. Don’t usher him to get you cookies when you’re too lazy to get out of bed.

84. Don’t use slang on Dis.

85. “What do you think you’re doing” is a theoretical question. We don’t actually want to know what you think you’re doing.

86. Using morse code to communicate with each other during dinner is no longer appreciated.

87. Don’t ‘vibe-check’ Thorin.

88. Minecraft is not something you can major in and is not considered a good future plan.

89. During scrabble night, we use normal words. Not words like ‘himbo’ or ‘fergalicious’.

90. ‘Bring back the Mercury portrait’ is not a valid petition.

91. When saying ‘healthy coping mechanisms’, we meant something like writing. Not screaming.

92. Do not touch Kili’s Jim Carrey dvd collection.

93. Don’t ever let Thorin watch American Horror Story alone.

94. Stop playing Christmas songs mid-summer.

95. Redecorating the throne room without approval of Thorin is not a considerable hobby.

96. “I don’t like sand” is not a normal way to start a conversation.

97. Dis needs at least 20 hours for herself a day (sleep included)

98. If you need more time with Dis, payment is two gold pieces per minute.

99. We already created a room dedicated to the Mercury portrait. Stop trying to hang up it elsewhere or it will be destroyed.

100. The portrait will not be destroyed as the thought of it makes Kili cry.

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

Text

50 Durin House Rules And Other Declarations:

(everybody lives AU, cuz they deserve it)

1. Running off into the wild to pet a wild wolf is not an acceptable hobby.

2. Bringing said wolf home and giving it a name is also not an acceptable hobby.

3. Under no circumstances is Kili allowed to babysit.

4. It is necessary to lock the door at night. Princes might escape otherwise.

5. Hiding a wolf in your room is also not an acceptable hobby.

6. Weapons are not to be seen on the dinner table.

7. The breakfast table is the same table as the dinner table.

8. Feeding dwarflings ale until they pass out is no longer allowed.

9. Thorin is not allowed to be alone in the treasure room.

10. Gross medical issues are to be discussed with Oin. Not with family at the dinner table.

11. If gross medical issues are inevitable during dinner, Kili is to be removed immediately to prevent inappropriate jokes.

12. Important secrets are not to be trusted to Fili.

13. “Fuck The Elves” is not an acceptable slogan for a themed party.

14. Even if, you do in fact, mean to fuck the elves.

15. “Fuck The Elves” is also not an acceptable slogan for a t-shirt.

16. “Fuck The Elves” t-shirts are not allowed to be sold.

17. “Fuck The Elves” t-shirts are not to be worn during important meetings with the Mirkwood elves.

18. No walking around the house without any clothes.

19. For every swear word spoken, a gold coin must be tossed in the “no swearing jar”.

20. “Tree-shaggers” is considered a swear word.

21. Wild wolves are also not allowed in Dale. Even if you dressed them up and taught them how to walk on their hind legs.

22. Fili and Kili are not allowed in the throne room without supervision.

23. If Dis says no, don’t run to Thorin and ask the same question.

24. You know Thorin doesn’t do well when arguing with women, so don’t manipulate him into it.

25. Dressing in black and standing in front of the mountain yelling “Winter Is Coming”, is not a fun way to announce snow.

26. Calling Bilbo a “Robbit” is not funny.

27. Parties are no longer allowed to be held without the permission of Thorin.

28. Using the “I am the future king” card will not work against the “I am the current king” card. Not even when you threaten him with old age.

29. Imitating Thorin when he had Dragon-Sickness is considered treason and is punished with running three laps around the mountain.

30. This also counts for royal family.

31. Knocking on Kili’s door at three AM is not funny. You know it scares him.

32. Under no circumstances are Fili and Kili allowed to see the Gremlin movies.

33. Stop referring to Balin as “Santa” around Christmas time.

34. Don’t YOLO anything.

35. Gandalf is not allowed to be alone with Kili.

36. Thorin is not allowed to get his entire head tattooed like Dwalin.

37. Don’t use expensive words to Fili and Kili. They genuinely do not understand it.

38. You can only use five sarcastic comments in a conversation with Dis.

39. We did this for your own safety.

40. Do not play hide and seek in the treasure room.

41. Dwalin is not your personal bodyguard, so don’t force him to come with you every time you visit Dale.

42. Bringing a mountain lion home as an alternative for the wild wolf is definitely NOT considered an acceptable hobby.

43. Fili is not allowed to cook anything. Ever.

44. Threatening to cut your brother’s hair off when you’re losing a game is not considered a “practical joke”.

45. This also counts for Dis.

46. Saying your wild wolf is not a normal wolf but a Direwolf is not a good excuse.

47. Dressing up in bright pink dresses during dinner is not considered a proper dresscode.

48. Especially the ones that are way too small. We can see everything down there.

49. If Fili asks you to kill a spider, no matter the size, kill it, because if you will not, he can, and will, burn down the mountain.

50. Wolves are not allowed within a five mile radius of the mountain.

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capitan-marvel · 3 years

Text

A Faded Understanding

Word count: 733

A/N: I’m gonna be honest here. This is very much based on me and my hair. I thought this up as I watched my hair color fade from dark yale-ish blue to a really dark kinda blueish version of my normal brown. This isn’t really a fic, it’s more like an extremely detailed draft.

Warnings: none, unless you need a warning for stupidity because himbos abound in this fic. WAIT, I nearly forgot, there are some F-bombs so be wary

Summary: Your hair dye starts to fade and the company gets… mildly concerned

Tag list: @elvish-sky @kumqu4t @anjhope1

My thanks to @claraofthepen and @elvish-sky for beta reading!

So you joined them after falling from your world with medium blue hair and while everyone was curious, they didn’t ask (and kept the younger/more forward dwarves from asking) because hair is very personal for dwarves and their thought process was basically “we don’t know much about humans in the first place and this one is from another world, it might be normal there or it could be extremely personal, best not to ask”

But then your hair color starts fading and getting darker

They start getting worried “what if she’s not eating enough, is she not sleeping enough, is she not resting enough, what if she’s sad, elves can die of sadness, humans here can’t, but what if humans there can, she seems to like when it rains, is she not getting enough rain, is that it? Her hair is blue and I mean she said it ‘watered her’ but we thought she was just joking, was she not joking, is she not getting enough sun, dirt, water, is she sick, is she dYING WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR HUMAN”

So individually they’ve been taking ‘small, unnoticeable’ steps to try and get your hair to retain its color.

Bifur and Glóin both keep walking up to you and checking your forehead with their hand without a word. This has been making you very nervous.

Óin has been asking you how you feel every time you stop for a break, which is just making you even more nervous.

And Bombur keeps giving you extra-large portions of food but you don’t eat all of it, and that just makes them more worried.

Ori has been getting very sad every time he looks at you and you’ve been trying to cheer him up by telling him stories and it’s kinda working??? But not really???? For a couple of minutes the stories will cheer him up and you’ll be like “yes, go Y/N” but then suddenly he’ll look even closer to crying than before and that makes you want to cry. (hint: it’s because he keeps thinking about how if you die you won’t be around to tell him stories anymore)

Bofur has been hanging around you a lot, constantly trying to get you to smile and laugh. He and Balin also keep saying things like “if you ever need to talk… I’m here”. This has left you very confused on numerous occasions.

Thorin has been having the company take twice as many breaks and won’t let you keep watch or help unpack and set up camp like he used to. Kili all but tackled you to keep you from picking up a heavy object and every time you dismount there are at least three dwarves ready to help you down.

The past couple of nights Fíli and Kíli have been rubbing dirt on your arms to see if it’s not enough dirt or something cause they’re both dumbasses so you keep waking up with your arms covered in dirt like “???? wtf”

Basically, none of them know the meaning of subtle.

You’re sitting down to dinner and they keep ‘sneaking’ glances at you. Finally you’re like “ok wtf is going on you’ve all been super weird the past couple of days, what’s up?”

Ori immediately bursts into tears next to you and you’re like “Woah, it’s ok, don’t cry, pls don’t cry, what’s happening, what did I do”

“Please don’t die”

“????? what????”

Thorin: “your hair color is fading and we’ve been worried it means you’re ill or sad”

Y/N: “That’s it?”

Thorin: “What do you mean ‘that’s it’”

Y/N: “My hair dye is just fading”

Dwalin: “Hair… dye?”

Y/N: “Yeah, like the dye you use on leather? It’s like that, only for hair. It just washes away eventually.”

Kíli: “Why did you dye your hair?”

Fíli: “KILI”

Kíli: “WHAT?!?!”