auroramokoena - Tumblr blog

auroramokoena · 1 month

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"I don't want to think about it now," one of my closest friends once told me. "I'll think about what I can do once I'm already in that situation," she even added.

Before we got into this conversation, I was ranting about my life. And why are things not happening the way I want them to? As if the universe is against what I want. These past few months have quite stressed me out, and I don't have anyone to tell these things to. Because, honestly, I never wanted to bother anyone. I am just a typical person who keeps things to herself. Especially if it's too personal for me to share.

Earlier, while I was traveling to work, this conversation struck me once again. And I just remembered that I also said that before to someone I know. I used to think that way. I used to tell other people the same phrase every time they asked me what I would do if I were in a certain situation. And you see, I used to not overthink too much. Yes, I am an overthinker, but not to the point that I am experiencing now. I just thought that my overthinking got the best of me. I'm on the verge of quitting everything that I'm passionate about. In short, I was so close to giving up and stopping everything that makes my heart feel alive. I haven't felt so genuine in a while, as if everything I wrote was nothing but mere words that have no meaning at all. Something I don't really feel like writing about. I stopped having a long conversation with anyone. I stopped listening to what they really had to say. And just think, think, and think until it's time for me to go to sleep.

But then I remembered who I was before. I remembered that girl who doesn't easily give up on things just because she's stressed out. I remembered that girl who loved to lift people up with her words. I remembered someone who would not let anyone stop her from achieving what she wanted. I remembered who I was. I remembered myself saying, "Let's see what I will do if I'm in that situation." Even if I am not sure what I can exactly do when that moment comes, even if I'm not sure if I'm still alive to witness that, I remembered how hopeful I was. And I remembered how much faith I have that things will always work out. And even if they don't, it just means that it wasn't meant for me at all.

I just want to tell you that sometimes you have to remind yourself of the old you—the you who have lived and survived in the past—just to get you where you are right now. And remember that if you don't like where you are right now, you still have a chance to do something that might change where you're going. It might be a tough road to walk on. But the most important thing is that you've done something. You've never abandoned yourself and just given up on what you really want to do.

Hello, I'm just dropping by // ma.c.a

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auroramokoena · 3 months

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“‘You’re going to be happy’ said life ‘but first I’ll make you strong.’”

— Unknown

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auroramokoena · 3 months

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SNOWFLAKE

Some people are like snowflakes-

Beautiful,

Mesmerizing,

And fleeting…

Yet still we try to catch them,

Hold on to them as they melt away,

Not because we don't know they can't stay,

But because of our wish to be within their midst longer.

And through the hurt we hold on to the image of them,

Frozen in our mind's lens…

Thank you for letting me know you.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for melting on the floor of my palm.

I hope I am as beautiful a memory as you are to me.

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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Mental Health Spotlight: Jasmine Marie, Founder of black girls breathing®

Jasmine Marie is a speaker, breathwork practitioner, and the founder of black girls breathing®. Her work is innovating the wellness, healthcare, and research industry by making mental health services accessible to Black women while filling in the gaps of data and research available on this underserved and underrepresented demographic. Marie plans to impact one million Black women and girls with her work by 2025. She is a serial founder with a past life in global haircare brand marketing and an alum of NYU Stern. The impact and range of her work to date is expansive—ranging from underserved minority communities to stressed-out college students and executives. She’s brought her expertise to elite colleges such as Harvard Business School, Columbia University, and Cornell University, and her client list includes corporations such as Estée Lauder Companies, Under Armour, Capital One, Ford Motor Company, Facebook, and Twitter. Marie has been featured in Oprah Magazine, Good Morning America, VOGUE, Forbes, Harper’s Baazar, Marie Claire, Glamour, Nylon Mag, Wall Street Journal, and Black Enterprise, to name a few.

What is black girls breathing®? And why was it created? black girls breathing® is a safe space for Black women to manage their mental and emotional health and heal trauma in their bodies with breathwork and community.

I created black girls breathing® after finishing my breathwork training and seeing so few facilitators that looked like me yet knowing how much chronic stress and trauma (generational, societal, etc.) and decided to create it. I used my background in business to help me develop a model where we could provide this work accessibly.

Do you have any secret hobbies, skills, or interests?

I don’t think I have any secret hobbies but for a while, I would always feel embarrassed whenever anyone asked that question, as a lot of my hobbies can maybe seem boring to others lol. But I love to read. Reading is one of my favorite hobbies. I love having quiet time…any activity that allows me to feel refreshed, sit with my own thoughts and enjoy my solitude. I think because I deal with so many people’s energy that in my spare time, I just like to spend time with self. I love to cook though…it’s a very meditative activity for me that allows me to unwind from my day.

How did you get started in this work? And why is it important to you?

As mentioned above, after my breathwork training, I realized there were so few Black breathworkers. But before that, I found breathwork while being stressed out after graduating from business school at NYU and working in beauty in NYC. My nervous system was so fried I began having physical symptoms…rashes and an inability to sleep. The doctor would see me and always say, “This is stress. How can you reduce your stress?” Fast forward to me finding my first breathwork class and falling in love with the way it allowed me to just feel more space in my mind and body.

WOW — ONE MILLION Black women and girls breathing by 2025 what an ambitious goal! What impact do you see this having?

It is an ambitious goal, but in 2020, we fundraised $55k to make our work accessible for one year. After the year was done, it was so clear that we couldn’t stop there. So many Black women needed this work, and we would hear that over and over again. So I decided if I was going to do this work, I was only interested in creating real impact and a goal that would signify that. Imagining 1 Million Black women using breathwork as a tool to regulate their nervous systems, heal from compounded trauma and reduce the effect that chronic stress has in our community (health challenges linked to chronic stress: heart disease, high blood pressure, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, fertility issues, and the list goes on) will not only affect them but our community as a whole. Ending the passing down of generational trauma and normalizing healing.

What would you suggest to people who feel like they cannot find the time to breathe or practice mindfulness?

I would first affirm that it’s okay they feel that way. Western society has done a great job of making us feel that anything outside of productivity is not only a waste of time but the least important thing we should make space for. Making time for yourself for any mindful activity can be eased into and it can start with being more aware of the present moment and practicing that action on a daily. Maybe you create a routine where every morning for 3 minutes right when you get up, you take a moment to be still, notice your breathing pattern and focus on each and every inhale and exhale.

Why is Black representation important in this industry?

The wellness industry isn’t unlike other industries where Black representation is lacking. I think it’s important to see other Black women caring for themselves because, historically, we’ve been taught to do the opposite for oh so long.

Where do you find joy?

I find joy with my family and my loved ones, in intimate moments with friends, in good food and conversation, and in being able to create something and see it grow, shift, and evolve.

Want to learn more about black girls @blackgirlsbreathing?

Check out their website!

Breathe with us on March 27th @12pm EDT during their Mindful Monday Breathwork for Anxiety session on Tumblr Live

Ask black girls breathing all the questions on your mind for IssueTime on Navigating Anxiety in an increasingly digital, lonely world

Take the pledge with black girls breathing®

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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LOVE CONVERSATIONS with Mika❤️

It's a mind trip

Love on the brain

My mistake for showing my love for your smarts

Have me contemplating about my abilities

Not in a building way

You have me doubting

Now at a crossroads

Do I keep loving on you

Despite your rejection of my heart

Is it alright to need you

Even as you don't?

Is it so hard to need me?

Why don't you need me?

It's a mind fuck

Love on the brain

Paging through our memories checking for missed lines

Reading between the lines

Did I read too much?

Do I take what you said when vulnerable as drunk talk?

But that stuff is soaked in honesty

What happened to being true to your heart

And my being in it?

What happened to jumping

Because you have me on the cliff waiting

Now I'm looking suicidal but you made promises,

Vows you broke now I'm left hanging

On ideas of what could have been

And you've switched up on me

It was the Savanah just a while back

But you've taken us to Antarctica

I'm not forcing your hand

But what more are you questioning?

What more do you want?

You have my heart and soul

What are you needing that I ain't giving?

Heart trip

Thought myself into loving you

Must have thought too much

Or maybe I'm not smart enough…

Clownery.

How to move on from an unrecognised heartbreak?

How to move on while still hiding your hand?

I want the whole you

But I'll settle for any crumbs you're willing to give

At least you'll be willing then.

Desperate…

That's how you make me.

Love on the brain?

Fuckery.

I want to get over you.

#Love #love on me #love on the brain #heartbreak #matters of the heart #heart #you broke my heart #heartache #writerscommunity #poet #writersontumblr #poetscommunity #writer #poetry #my poem #poetsontblr #i write

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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LOVE OR SOMETHING CLOSE?

It's the balm you are

It's the weakness you are.

It's the wall I seek to lean on in you that you give but not completely

And I want all of you

And the sadness i could never be what you are for me

So I cannot take from you what I want

I cannot feed from you what I need

Because the guilt is choking

Hence my handing you over

And I see you waiting

And I hear you asking

And this lie I will tell you forever

I am okay

This is enough

This is okay

Because it is not in your hands

And I have made peace

With loving you from a distance

This is enough

Be happy

#almost lovers #letting go #love #poet #writerscommunity #writersontumblr #poetscommunity #writer #poetry #my poem #poetsontblr #i write #trust #the one who got away #the one who waits #the one I set free #happy #be happy #blessings

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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SNOWFLAKE

Some people are like snowflakes-

Beautiful,

Mesmerizing,

And fleeting…

Yet still we try to catch them,

Hold on to them as they melt away,

Not because we don't know they can't stay,

But because of our wish to be within their midst longer.

And through the hurt we hold on to the image of them,

Frozen in our mind's lens…

Thank you for letting me know you.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for melting on the floor of my palm.

I hope I am as beautiful a memory as you are to me.

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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THREE ROSES & A KNIFE: I love you

Last night you asked a question

That sent me on a quest.

Tossing and turning all night,

Dreaming of escaping unknown woods,

Searching for the right words.

How do I know I love you?

Because I yearn for your love,

While showering you with mine

And showing you how to kill me,

But trusting and hoping that you won’t.

How do I know I love you?

Because my heart craves your acceptance.

Praying you’d be at home in it

And showing you how to break me,

But trusting and hoping that you won’t.

How do I know I love you?

Because there isn’t a specific reason why I do,

No logic could explain this madness.

For while common sense begs me to run away,

I want to stay and face it all for and with you.

See, my love whispers a prayer whenever you come to mind:

That this love may be life giving;

That this love be building.

How do I know I love you?

I just do.

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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New Year's

It's a new year!

And you are here,

So there's hope for tomorrow,

Whatever your wins,

Whatever your losses,

Whatever your sighs,

Celebrate you,

Celebrate now,

Celebrate all the possibilities your tomorrow could be.

Live,

Dream,

Live your dreams.

You are here!

You

Are

Here!

Happy new year!

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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I wrote this about a year ago and my year hasn't ended nor has a new one begun yet-remember we go at our own pace here and don't stick to the norm as per society's demands- but I just had a conversation with my baby sister Ratie about clapping hands for myself for all my wins and battles and I remembered this.

I hope you're having/ had The year of your life or are still working towards it or yet another one because you deserve it. Happy New year Sweetheart.

NEW YEAR

It might be on January 1st, today

Or another day,

Who says you have to follow the calender like everybody?

Does everybody really follow that theory?

So let it be when you are ready,

When you're away from the noise and the crowd,

But I sure hope it's soon,

For time waits for no one.

When you start your year,

Let it begin with belief in yourself

And faith in your dreams

Because if you start your journey

With feet laden with doubts and fear

You might as well stay seated.

Commence your year with gratitude

For all you had, have and will have-

Bacause darling that is where hope stems from;

Hope is food for the soul,

So do not deny yourself a life of living

As without something to look forward to

We are merely existing.

Start your journey with resolve

Because your vision needs determination:

For the nights sleep denies you an escape,

From the voices of naysayers and exhaustion,

For the days when the world is frightening to face

For the moments you are your worst enemy...

It's a new year!

May it be good and glorious

But that's not my wish for you today

My prayer is this:

May you have THE year of your life,

Whenever that will be!

The year you start living.

The year your go beyond your boundaries.

The year you break the chains of all your inhibitions.

The year you define and rediscover yourself...

May it be the year of culmination

Wherein you grow, learn and live sweetheart.

Have the year of your life!!!

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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EVICTION NOTICE

I need a voice

A voice audible a and firm enough

A voice precise and concisein it's 'No'

Because the creeping serpent refuses to hear me

Tell him to go away

Tell him I'm exhausted of his loud leeching off in my head

Tell him to feed on himself for once

Because my soul is tired

Remind him too

To take the darkness he came in with

For I do not have the heart to carry them,

They are too bloody, too noisy, too heavy

I need a voice

To send him off

Because I'm tired of playing host

And I'm out of courtesy…

Get

Out.

#poet #writerscommunity #writersontumblr #poetscommunity #writer #poetry #my poem #poetsontblr #i write #depression #fighting back #fight on #fighting #fight those demons #self love #saving me

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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LONELY

I miss having friends

And I chased them all away

Why am I so weak?

#poet #writerscommunity #writersontumblr #writer #poetscommunity #my poem #poetry #poetsontblr #i write

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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BACK TO ZERO

There he is

I almost believed our bond broken forever

But freedom seems to find eternity too long to stay over…

Depression is heading my way again-

He's here already-

The story is already tired.

I won't even call anyone anymore

… God, it's me again,

I'm lost again

In the dark again

Everybody can get tired but you so

Dear Warrior,

Save me again.

Please.

#poet #writerscommunity #writersontumblr #poetscommunity #writer #poetry #my poem #poetsontblr #i write #silent prayers #prayer #faith #depression #mentalhealth #fighting back #fight on #fighting

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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MERRY

It would be lovely

If the festive season could be festive for all of us

Because for some it is trauma triggers time

While for some the festivities are in the heavens while on earth it's sorrow time

And for others it's a depressing reminder of where we aren't and what we don't have

But I hope we all remember that we are here and that is reason enough to be merry

That we are loved

That we are saved

That there is hope

And that there's second, third and nth chances...

So stand under that mistletoe

Kiss your woes goodbye

It's a time to be merry

And you're reason enough to join in the fun...

A hug to the grieving

Applause for the ones trying daily

A fist bump to the ones fighting loudly...silently

It's a merry christmas,

Not the clothes,

Not the trips,

Not the marital status checks,

Not the job checks

It's a merry christmas

Because you're here

And you're reason enough to celebrate,

So a very merry YOU sweetheart.

#poet #poetscommunity #writer #poetry #poetsontblr #my poem #i write #writerscommunity #writersontumblr #christmas #hate christmas #love christmas #love you #celebration #celebrate yourself

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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LOVE ME ME, LOVE ME HUMAN

His heart worshiped me

There was pious in his loving-

A blind faith to it-

And it felt heavy,

Especially with how ignorant it was to my imperfections.

It scared me,

Because for the first time I saw how blind love could be

Yet all I wanted was to be seen…

So on some days,

He crosses my heart and,

I sit with my wine glass in my left hand,

With my abacus to my right

Counting the times my heart was glued back together

And wondering if I should give up on me and another,

Regret and doubt trickling down my cheeks,

Wondering if I was too weak to accept his kind of loving,

Too timid in my passion,

Too haunted by the staunch misguided lessons of mistaken loves,

When I broke that blind soul…

Perhaps we are never satisfied

But...

I just...

If only...

If one is to love me religiously,

I want him to see both of God's sons in me

And THEN love me despite the darkness,

Not love me as if I were pure,

Rather love me with with purity and goodness

I don't want a burdensome love,

Is that too much to ask?

#love #poets on tumblr #female poets #poetry #poetblr #young poets #i write #my poem #my work #poet #poetsofinstagram #poets on poetry #poetscommunity #poets corner

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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UNWANTED ANSWERS/ INESCAPABLE

Always prayed for them:

For friends before I pledged loyalty,

For strangers before I came across them,

For lovers before our fates intertwined…

But what to do with those prayed against

That Providence designs still to be woven into the same brocade as I?

What to do with curses I toil to cast away,

Only for the Universe to deem them a cross whose weight I have to bear?

What to do with the knife pointing at me

Whose sharp blade I cannot evade because I am deigned to survive it's cut?

Always prayed for them,

Always prayed against them,

But what to do when fate deems what I do not want mine?

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auroramokoena · 1 year

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“I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself did I know who I really was.”

— Sade Andria Zabala

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