“Healthy eating” is context-specific and not accessible to everyone, but in general and roughly in order of priority, it entails

eating enough food

eating consistently

eating a variety of foods

eating foods you enjoy

That’s it! You don’t need to buy my book or come to my seminar or sign up for my program!

oops.

Okay so it’s been a couple weeks since I’ve managed to post.  I’m really struggling with a lot of things right now, what with POTS getting worse and my anxiety thriving.  I’m going to start making an effort to come post every day again because I think it helped me feel better and more validated about my own feelings and symptoms.

As of right now, I have not done a tilt table test, but the first cardiologist I went to said that it was safe to presume that I have POTS.  I already know I do, but hearing it from a doctor helped, though without a tilt table test I’m anxious that I’ll never be able to get an official diagnosis.  Luckily, I just came out of an appointment with my primary care provider (PCP), and she has referred me to another cardiologist who is generally more willing to do tilt table tests and makes a greater effort to get patients in touch with other specialists if they can’t help.  I also got a prescription for an antidepressant that should significantly help with my anxiety and I’m very excited about it.

I’ll leave it on that note or else I’ll probably end up talking forever, but I want you to know I’m grateful you’re here with me and I hope you have a lovely day or night.

April 25-27 (oops.)

I don’t remember exactly why I’ve been so crap at posting lately, but here’s me catching up in one post.

April 25

1:56 am HR 98 Symptoms:  fatigue, brain fog, cold feet Notes:  I have ran out of spoons but I wish I could have gotten more done.  My feet are so cold that they made my socks cold, even though my room is warm.  My neck hurts.  I have to start waking up at 9 am to take my meds on time.

6:48 pm HR 112 BP 99 over 76 BG 185 Symptoms:  heart palpitations Notes:  My heart has been racing and palpitating since I ate dinner (life hack:  eat slowly, adrian, and your heart will be less angry at you).  I’ve worried my non-potsie friends, but now I’m starting to worry my potsie friends with how high my heart rate tends to get when I exercise.  I’ve been told I need some midodrine and I agree wholeheartedly.

10:41 pm HR 111 BG 223 Symptoms:  chest pain Notes:  didn’t take blood pressure this time, but I noticed a sharp and random pain in my left chest and felt need to record it.

April 26

7:48 pm HR 100 BP 111 over 83 BG 201 Symptoms:  fatigue, heart palpitations, brain fog Notes:  my symptoms today seem to be never-ending.  Salt tablets haven’t helped much.

April 27

I didn’t actually journal today so I’m just gonna... go for it.  Today was okay but tiring.  I found out walking is not a suitable exercise for me.  An extra salt tablet helped, but I think I’m going to need another one to be able to keep working tonight.  I have a study session that ends at 1:30 am, which isn’t that late to me (and no one can yell at me to sleep since someone else approved the time), but usually my brain is a little foggy at that point. I need to clear my phone, vacuum my room, do a bunch of homework, finish writing something that I was supposed to have finished weeks ago... hm. Anyways.  I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful day, night, etc.  Happy Ramadan. P.S., I hope you say the pink supermoon!  I’m convinced the gods sent it in support of lesbian visibility day <3

April 24, 2021

9:28 pm HR 123 BP 126 over 83 Notes:  Today I felt much better.  I woke up at 1:30 pm and went out at 4 pm, so I took 3 mg of salt at 3:30 pm.  I just finished dinner and I’m going to have one more (i forgot lmao) because fatigue is coming and I still have things I’d like to finish.

I didn’t finish anything - I ran out of spoons.  I’m so ready to lay down, read for a bit, and sleep - but of course, my neck starts to hurt and I start experiencing vertigo.  Not too bad but it refuses to go away today.

April 23, 2021

Fourth time I’m writing this, and I’ve run out of patience, and if Tumblr deletes my progress for no reason one more time I give up.

I couldn’t journal today because I was too sick to sit up in my chair for 5 minutes and write about how I felt.

I’ve been taken hostage by dizziness, vertigo, fatigue, and nausea - often all at once - today, and it feels horrible.  I’ve read many-a-fanfic today and done very minimal school work, except for the two things I was required to do on-time.  When my English teacher asked me to answer a question, I didn’t remember what she had been talking about.  When my history teacher asked me a question, I couldn’t even find the document with the answers.  I hate my history teacher with a burning passion and I couldn’t even find it in me to be upset about her.

I woke up for the 2 hours I needed to be awake to go to my classes, then I passed out for another 3.5 hours until I dragged myself to my last class.  My head has been pounding every single moment I’ve been awake, and every time I’ve stood up I lose my vision for much longer than is necessary.

I had to cancel a study session I was supposed to be leading today and I still feel like I let my friends down.  Luckily, someone else was available to cover for me, but I still feel that pang of guilt about it.  It was the first time in a month of leading these sessions I’ve had to cancel the entire thing, and It just feels like I’m losing it.  I won’t be able to get into a cardiologist until late July and my heart rate and blood pressure tend to be in places that worry my other potsie friends.  It hurts what little ego I have left to know that I have to significantly change so many things because my body decided that another thing gets to go wrong, and there’s nothing I can do about it for 91 days, then I have to just hope that it helps.  It’s 4:23 am, and my body is aching, my head is pounding, and I can barely see my screen because my room is spinning and my body is spinning in another direction.

I love you, and I hope you have a good day.  It’s okay if you don’t, too.  Happy Ramadan.

April 22

10:02 am HR 83 BP 97 over 77 Symptoms:  brain fog, fatigue Notes:  I woke up an hour ago.  I haven’t taken my meds yet and my head feels fuzzy.  Trying to do homework isn’t working.

11:56 HR 99 BP 106 over 78 Symptoms:  heart palpitations, fatigue, and hot flashes Notes:  I’ve been getting hot flashes all day and I am getting very tired of it.  They’re making focusing difficult (spoilers:  it took me 20 minutes to type this).

April 21, 2021

6:50 pm HR 116 Symptoms:  brain fog, fatigue Notes:  Today I woke up at 1 pm.  I’ve been increasingly tired this past week and the salt tablets have helped, but my symptoms had already been getting worse over the past couple of weeks and I think it’s just left over from them.

9:45 pm blood pressure 103 over 85 HR 86 My HR went over 200 again when I went on a bike ride.  My BP dropped to 100 over 65, though.  I’m pretty sure that exercise is supposed to make BP go up temporarily so I wanted to write it down somewhere

breakfast:  N/A lunch:  burger dinner:  pasta, chicken

4/20 2021

usually i’m fancier but 4/20 c’mon guys.

10:34 pm

I woke up very late today and it threw off my entire schedule.  Now I’m behind on homework (still am!).  I had an extra salt tablet with dinner and it really helped, so I think I’ll keep taking 2 tablets (2 grams) at dinner.  No current symptoms.

Update at 12:13 am the “next day,” I’m only a little fatigued but otherwise okay.  My fingers are crusty from playing bass and constantly washing my hands with crappy soap and I’m not enjoying it, but I found some cuticle oil that works magic and one application of it has already helped immensely.

For anyone that needs to hear it, and for anyone who doesn’t - I love you.  You are strong.  You are worthy of everything.  Remember that sleeping, resting, creating, playing, laughing, talking - it’s all productive.  You are more than your productivity.  However, as a workaholic with ADHD and anxiety, I know the feeling of needing to do more.  Once you can learn that everything is productive, you stop feeling like you’re “lazy” or “not doing enough” and you start to enjoy things.

In case you missed it, or you don’t believe me... I love you.  I hope you have a wonderful day or night, and please make sure to take care of yourself today.  If that’s showering, brushing your teeth, or even playing music while you work, I hope you take a moment to enjoy today or tonight and tell yourself that you are lovely and that you are worthy (because it’s true).

April 18-19

Okay so I missed yesterday, oops.  And this one’s a little earlier than when I usually like to post, but I have a lot of things I’d like to get done tonight so I decided to post early and to shove both into one post because they’re super short.  I’ve been oddly exhausted the past couple of days and remembering to write down how I feel wasn’t at the top of my list of things to do.

April 18, 2021 5:07 pm HR 92 Symptoms:  hot flashes, fatigue, brain fog Notes:  The fatigue and brain fog aren’t too bad today, and I’d like to think it’s the salt tablets!  I have a more strict plan than usual for homework today and I’ve already gotten more done than I expected.  (Note:  the “strict” plan actually worked and I’m going to try implementing it in the future)

April 19, 2021 8:44 pm HR 77 Very late entry, but better than none.  I’ve been very fatigued lately and I’ve fallen slightly behind in my work.  Minimal heart palpitations and brain fog, though!  One salt tablet with breakfast and one with dinner is helping.

10:42 pm Fatigue and brain fog are still there but not too bad, I can still focus.  I’m not sure if I’m mentally or physically tired, though it’s currently feeling like a lot of work to stay sitting up, so it might actually be both.  Still have work to catch up on, but it’s been worse.  I think I need to raise my water intake for the salt tablets - go from 2-3 liters of water to 3-4, which shouldn’t be an issue.  I’ll double check I have enough alarms to remind me to drink water.

April 17

7:34 pm HR 73 I did a cardio workout today (note:  probably caused fatigue.  will def do it again)!  My salt tablets got here, too.  I took one, which is 1 gram (another note:  I genuinely think it helped.  my fatigue didn’t get worse and I had very little brain fog).

11:30 pm HR 109

Doing homework (still doing homework an hour later).  Minimal fatigue and brain fog!  I think the salt really helped.  It’s also been added to my morning meds, which will also force me to remember to eat breakfast every day.

breakfast:  N/A lunch:  gyoza, burger, fries, churro, sweat tea dinner:  chicken sandwich, chips

April 16, 2021

I’d like to mention that someone reached out to me to ask a question and it literally made my week.  If you see this, thank you.  And to anyone else reading - you’re always welcome to talk to me!  I’m not a medical professional, but I know more about dr- I mean, medication than the average 16-year-old.  I can offer experience and articles to help answer questions, then I’ll tell you to talk to a doctor so lawyers can’t get mad at me <3

3:35 pm HR 116 Symptoms:  Sweating, heart palpitations, brain fog, increased anxiety. Notes:  I’m working on homework and being stressed.  I still have way too much homework that I’m very behind on, and I would very much like to not have any.

7:44 pm HR 104 Symptoms:  Brain fog, fatigue, heart palpitations. Notes:  I just finished dinner.  My heart is palpitating and I’ve only completed 45% of my tasks for today.  I’ve run out of spoons (hint:  I am still working just over 4 hours later and I’m not much closer to being done.  I found another 3 assignments.).  I wish I could work through my brain fog, but I can’t even find enough focus to finish this journal.

Congrats to me for finishing the journal :’) It’s almost 11pm, I have about the same amount of homework left as 4 hours ago, and I’m here to tell you that I love you and your worth is not measured by your productivity.  To Hell with capitalism.

Happy Ramadan to anyone who observes the month <3

April 15, 2021

10:04 am BG 200 HR 108 Symptoms:  Fatigue, very sore legs. Notes:  I feel okay but sore.  I’ve been biking or walking every day for 6 days now and there are sore muscles that I didn’t even know existed.  1/10 do not recommend having legs /j.

4:40 pm BG ? HR 103 I have a diabetic driver’s course in 20 minutes (later note:  it went well!  very fun, genuinely very informative).  I’m fatigued and ready to nap again, but I think I need to eat first.  No heart palpitations for once!

11:31 pm BG ? HR 100 CVS didn’t have salt tablets, which even though their website said they didn’t, is still rude.  I’m still fatigued and I’m very angry because of it.  I think I’ll start with less than 1 gram of salt with each meal (tablets tend to be 200-400 mg) and at night.  It depends on how much is each tablet.  I wonder if high-carb meals or my ADHD meds are contributing to my fatigue.  I got my new meds today, which I start on the 25th so I can run through my current amount of the meds.

breakfast:  cereal, cheese, Gatorade lunch:  N/A dinner:  sausage, mashed potatoes, corn

April 14, 2021

Hi :) I posted this to the wrong blog this morning, which was late, so now it’s even later.  So exciting, so sorry haha.

3:14 pm BG 308 HR 113 Symptoms:  Fatigue, brain fog, increased distraction, repetitive hot flashes.

9:24 pm BG 86 HR 95 Symptoms:  Heart palpitations, fatigue, brain fog, shaking hands. Notes:  I am extremely fatigued.  It’s so much work to do things but I have homework that’s due at midnight so I have to stay up for a while to finish.  As I was writing, my HR raised to 115 and my hands started shaking, which could be due to my low blood sugar, but it’s still unsettling.

breakfast:  cereal lunch:  N/A dinner:  pasta

Hello, here’s another “as I’m writing” note.  I’ve decided to stop writing carb counts on things because I know they’re potentially upsetting to people and they aren’t too important to this - plus, they’re in my handwritten journal, so if my cardiologist wants to know them, they’re there, too.  “They’re there” is a horrible thing to read. I also noticed how short this one is- I really felt bad yesterday so sitting up to write in a journal wasn’t high on my list of things to do. Anywho.  I hope you have a good day/night <3

April 13, 2021

at1:00 am BG:  226 HR:  95 Symptoms:  Heart palpitations, brain fog, increased anxiety Notes:  My heart rate went to 217 earlier when I was dancing (aka jumping around and struggling to breathe).  It was very exciting and very much made my friends anxious.  I’ve decided to stop talking about POTS and crap unless prompted because I feel like I’m worrying or annoying my friends.  I’m stuck at my computer, caffeinated and overwhelmed with homework.  I am very ready and very incapable of sleep.

2:55 am BG 282 HR 82 Symptoms:  Adrenaline rush, increased anxiety, brain fog Notes:  Still doing homework.  Got a very sudden adrenaline rush and it is very unpleasant.  My thighs feel numb and tingly at the same time and my anxiety feels like someone’s about to attack me.

12:58pm BG 150 HR 110 Symptoms:  Fatigue, heart palpitations, brain fog, lightheadedness. Notes:  Fell asleep at 5 am.    Couldn’t finish as much homework as I wanted to.  I have too much homework to nap or rest (spoiler alert:  spent 6 hours in bed, 2-3 of those i think i was asleep).  Breakfast led to distracting heart palpitations.

Breakfast:  4 Eggos, 4 sausage links, 62 carbs. Lunch:  N/A Dinner:  (very late, like 9 pm late) brownie, 18 carbs

Note at 1:21 am the next day... don’t do what I did.  Don’t chug coffee thinking you’ll get things done, then at 2 am you stop being able to work but still stay up until 5 am because you’re so caffeinated that you can’t sleep nor can you do anything.  It led to me sleeping through math class, then disassociating through gym class and not joining the Zoom meeting, then feeling like I’d been hit with a truck so I got stuck in bed for 6 hours.  I’m still too wired to be able to sleep (I will be resorting to reading fanfiction until I fall asleep, because I have standards) but too exhausted to do any homework.  Making this post is my way of fueling my ADHD and workaholicism. I know that it sucks to be told not to partake in bad habits that are so tempting.  So, really, I shouldn’t be telling you not to chug coffee.  I should be telling you to lower the coffee amount, or choose decaf, or choose a darker roast (more fire=less caffeine) and to make sure that you’re properly hydrated.  If you have POTS, aspire to drink 2-3 liters (67-101 fl oz) of water every day.  Try to raise your salt intake to 5-6 grams, and consult your doctor about it beforehand if possible. I’m so happy to talk to anyone with questions, concerns, or if you just want to vent.  My inbox is open.  Send me questions, concerns, or vents however you’d like to and I’ll reply as soon as I can (which will probably be between midnight and 3am Pacific time, because that’s when I tend to write these posts). This was so long, and it wasn’t meant to be, but I’m feeling a lot of things today and I wanted to share them with you. I love you, and I hope you have a good day or night.  Please take care of yourself - and if you can’t, that’s okay.  I can’t brush my teeth or wash my face tonight, and I haven’t showered in 3 days, and one of my elbows is so dry that it hurts.  You aren’t alone in your struggle and I send you all of the good energy I have and that surrounds me.

April 12, 2021

11:18 am BG:  187 HR:  135 Symptoms:  Brain fog, heart palpitations, fatigue, dizziness. Notes:  Breakfast led to the brain fog and heart palpitations which didn’t really disappear.  I’ve been trying to get salt tablets but they’re a little tricky to get over the counter, plus I can’t go by myself.  I’m not even sure if I could buy salt tablets myself since I’m a minor.  I feel like I need to nap but I’m not tired enough yet to be able to.  If I can have enough salt that might help the fatigue.

1:58 pm BG:  171 HR:  94 BP:  140/90 Symptoms:  Fatigue, thirst, heart palpitations. Notes:  Took a 3-hour nap.  Feel feverish but class starts in half an hour so I can’t fall asleep again.  I was so brain fogged in English class last Saturday (for reference, 4/12 was a Monday) that I didn’t realize that I had missed an assignment and now I’m behind and I can’t catch up (as I’m writing this at 12:47 am, I still have not caught up and am using this as my ADHD break).  I also have been so anxious since Spring Break (April 5-9) because I haven’t been able to get back into the swing of school anymore.

breakfast:  4 eggos, 4 sausage links, 62 carbs (I miscalculated yesterday) lunch:  N/A dinner:  2 cheeseburgers, medium fries, and an unfinished Arnold Palmer from McDonald’s (128-ish carbs [oh gods writing that number hurt])

April 11, 2021

2:21am Blood Sugar:  73, treated with 15 carbs of juice Heart Rate:  sitting at 113 Other Symptoms:  shaking hands, alternating hot and cold flashes, heart palpitations, brain fog.

2:01pm Blood Sugar:  288 Heart Rate:  122 Other Symptoms:  Fatigue, hot flashes, brain fog. Notes:  Had 12oz of Gatorade Zero, about 40oz of water.

9:17pm Blood Sugar:  388, treated with insulin and dropping Heart Rate:  72 Other Symptoms:  heart palpitations. Notes:  Had a lot more Gatorade than normal which significantly improved my symptoms.  Eating a full meal made my heart palpitate and sit between 125-135, starting 5-10 minutes after eating and lasting at least 15 minutes.  Leaning over more than 40 degrees while sitting or standing makes my vision blur.

Breakfast:  4 Eggo waffles, 4 sausage links, 64 carbs Lunch:  BBQ chips, 12oz Gatorade Zero, ice cream, 72 carbs Dinner:  2 hot dogs, BBQ chips, 60 carbs

Today went well overall.  I woke up and thought it was going to suck, but after drinking Gatorade and eating chips (salt salt salt salt) I felt much better.  I’ve spent most of the day reading and writing, then doing homework.  I finished my psychology homework for the week and I’m writing this before I work on my English homework with some friends.  I was going to ignore it, but then I remembered that it’s for our final essay of this unit, so it’s a bad idea to push it off, especially since it’s already late. Since about half of my school went back to school on-campus, keeping up with the in-person kids is a whole new level of speed and intensity that I was not ready for.  It was like the original switch to online school but somehow worse.

An Introduction

Hello!  My name is Adrian.  I use he/him pronouns and I’m 16 years old, living in California.  I’m diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, ADHD, and anxiety, and I’m working on a diagnosis for POTS and other mental illnesses (sO eXcITinG).

I’m starting this blog as sort of a symptom diary to show others with chronic illness, diagnosed or not, that you aren’t alone.  The worst part about chronic illness is the fear of being alone, being the only one, or faking it.  I hope to be able to post every day, and one of my friends has offered to bother me about it daily to remember.

I’ll do my best to keep everything SFW and as non-triggering as possible, and anything potentially explicit or gory (unlikely as I don’t get out much, nor have I fainted) will be censored.

I’m here, you’re here, we’re here together.  I love and appreciate you and I hope that your day is wonderful, whatever wonderful means to you.