I'm (not) okay.
(I skipped one of my final papers because of a severe panic attack. I'll move up a grade anyway after a private exam but I feel like I made an excuse for myself. The looks of my family and peers don't help.)
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and I'm crying again when will the mental screaming stop? I'm so fucking tired
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Exams coming up, guess who hasn't been able to study?👯♀️👯♀️🫂
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I have adhd. It's fucking w me because I just cannot work around it.
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my dad thinks I've gotten better, how do I tell him the thoughts that go through my mind:(
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I had a major fight with my family, I'm not proud of it.
I know they meant well, they want what's best for me but it suffocates me. Because I still can't push myself to do shit and having people push me irritates the living fck out of me.
I am a terrible person and I'm aware of it, I relapsed after a month of being clean.
My own family tiptoes around me and my moods because they never know what to expect anymore. I feel like I've become a ticking bomb or something. It makes me want to die.
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I accidentally hurt someone's feelings. I didn't know it, and what I had done (not to them specifically) was pretty harmless but I heard from my other friend how it had triggered that person...and I didn't know because they didn't tell me and acted *normal*
so now, I feel like absolute shit (not trying to be a narcissist) because how tf do I always end up fucking shit up?
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It's sad how much mental illness took away from me
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