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dukeofonions · 3 years

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Season Two Episode Ranking

Warning: I get very, very, very, critical in this ranking. Like, angry ranting that’s almost laughable. Should I be getting this worked up over an online series? Eh, probably not. But this is my life and I’ll get outrageously angry over whatever media I want.

Seriously though, this is all just my personal opinion. I’m not saying you have to agree with me and if you like the episodes that I don’t then that’s perfectly fine.

I tend to overthink things a lot and I spend most of my time analyzing every little details of this series because what else am I supposed to do at work?

So yeah, this ranking is definitely less positive than the one I did for the first season. But I hope y’all can still have some fun going over it! And if anyone does their own rankings be sure to tag me because I’d love to see them and see how mine compare!

Anyways, enough of me acting like this is more important than it is, on with the ranking!

I can’t believe season two only has 12 episodes. Now I went ahead and counted Moving On as one episode in this ranking since my opinions on both parts are pretty similar, but sweet cheese and fish this season started on September 1st, 2017 with Fitting in and right now is left on Putting Others First which came out on May 1st, 2020. And as of me writing this it is now May 2nd, 2021. It’s been a whole year since the last episode and we still have no idea when the finale is coming.

Like, bruh.

Also remember how the longest episode in season one was only about 15 minutes long and the shortest one was barely four minutes?

Well the shortest episode in season two is Crofters- The Musical which is 8:42 seconds. The longest episode is Putting Others First which is a whopping 51:09.

And I wish I could say that the writing was on the same level it was in the first season, but there’s a reason I put that warning up there.

Well, enough stalling, let’s get this ball rolling.

#11 Embarrassing Phases

There are no words in the English language that can describe the sheer amount of hatred I have for this episode. If I could rank this any lower, I would, which will happen once we finally get the season finale. I don't know how that episode will go but it'll definitely be better than whatever dumpster fire this was.

Like, okay. I have some positives. Roman, Patton, and Virgil's costumes were cool. I won't lie I live for vampire Virgil. And the message about embracing your past "phases" and exploring how they helped made you who you are. That's neat. I like that.

And that's it.

My biggest gripe with this episode is Virgil. He just acts like a complete bitch in this! And I don't mean that in an endearing way he's literally so mean for no reason!

He's all "You guys are trivializing my past!"

In response to them going "Hey Virgil, we're glad you're part of our group now and are proud of how far you've come!"

Like okay, even if it was insensitive to call it a "phase" literally there was no reason for him to get as angry as he did.

Just a simple; "Hey, I don't like it when you refer to what I went through as a phase because it feels like you're not talking it seriously."

Isnt that what this whole show is about? Communication???

It wasn't fun watching him just insulting the others, it was annoying!

Like poor Patton, just trying to help and be encouraging, only for Virgil to keep treating him like dirt.

What did I miss here? Virgil was fine in the last few episodes, so what the heck happened?

Oh and let's not forget the great advice Thomas offers Patton at the end of the episode in regards to handling Virgil: "Don't do anything to get on his bad side or else he'll do bad things to you!"

Okay I'm paraphrasing here but that's basically what he says! And since Virgil is supposed to be a representation of anxiety, this is a horrible message!!!

What happened to finding healthy ways to cope with your anxiety? What happened to keeping it in check so it didn't take over your life?

Yeah I'm definitely gonna make a full post about this one episode later because there's a whole lot more to unpack here. But yeah -10/10

#10 Putting Others First

There is just way too much going on with this episode. They try cramming so much in here that I don't even remember more than half of it.

I remember the opening song, then the Lilypadton fight and everything that happens from there. That's it.

And those are the best parts of this episode, but even that has problems because everything with Janus feels like a completely different episode.

Also the whole way they try to teach about morality is all over the place. How did we go from choosing a wedding over a callback to deciding whether or not you would die for your friends to self care is important?

And while the video game sequences, while utilized well in some places, were way too distracting and it felt like they were just trying to shove as many video game references in as they could.

You could take out just about all of them and the episode wouldn't change. Everything they were used for could have been done just through having the characters talk to each other, and knowing this makes the fact that this video was delayed for so long because of it just makes the whole thing worse.

Like the animations were well done, and I don't want to downplay the hard work the animator did. They were just doing their job after all.

But the trolley scenes (especially the second one) hurt my eyes with all the flashing (would have been nice to have some kind of warning for that) and some of the voice effects (especially on Logan's) were grating and distracting.

I want to rank this episode higher, but it has almost zero rewatch ability and honestly besides the ending, when I first watched this episode I was just kinda let down.

#9 Crofters- The Musical

Okay look, the song is a bop and I adore the fact that Logan and Roman got two episodes in the spotlight, but it's just kinda "meh" to me. Plus I get just a tinge of second hand embarrassment but that's just me.

And I know this is kinda unfair but another reason why this one isn't higher is because of a couple of things. One is that they set up some angst for Roman, he's clearly not doing well and Thomas thinks the best thing to do is tell him that he might get his own jam flavor.

Then he does, and instead of following up on that little plot point from this video, they just rushed out a commercial and completely ignored and potential story telling or character development for Roman.

So yeah "Return of the Jam" is the main reason why I don't like this one as much as I used to. And I actually just got an idea for a new post comparing these two so add that to my to-do list.

#8 Fitting In

I actually skipped this one during my first official watch through for one reason and one reason alone: I wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter.

But I realized that my parents wouldn't approve of me of watching a gay man's content either so I just said screw it.

And luckily I understood enough Harry Potter references to get what they were talking about and honestly, this episode is a lot of fun.

It's a good follow up to Accepting Anxiety, and a nice way to kick off season two. Virgil is finding his place among the group and everyone is trying their best to make him feel welcome, it's really sweet.

And of course we get the new costumes (which i hadn't even noticed that they were wearing their old costumes at first) and I dunno it just gives off season one vibes and it makes me happy.

#7 Moving On Part One/Moving On Part Two

Yeah honestly my thoughts on both parts of this episode are the same. What can I say? It's really good.

This definitely one of the more emotionally heavy episodes in the series, and we see the characters at their lowest for really, the first time in this series.

I adore Patton's room and how each side gets their own corners. All the little details they add in, including the changing picture in the background, it really gives off that nostalgia feel they were going for.

What I love most about this episode is how (unlike some other episodes) they actually let the emotional moments sink in and don't throw in a joke immediately after. Like the ending is bittersweet, sad almost, and I love that they stuck with the mood up until the episode ended.

Not to say there weren't some jokes here and there (mostly in the first part) but once the mood shifts and things become more serious they let that mood stay. And when there are jokes they all work really well.

This is one episode I've actually watched the least out of season two, so it'll be interesting when I go watch it again to see if any of this holds up.

#6 Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?

Honestly I only put this one above Moving On because Logan and Roman are my favorites.

This episode is actually one of the weaker ones, which hurts to say because again, favorite characters, but goodness it's all over the place. It feels like a precursor to POF and not in a good way.

Logan and Roman just basically argue back and forth throughout the whole episode, never seeing eye to eye with each other, to the point where I think think the writers realized they couldn't find a way to get these two to agree so they just had Thomas step in and be like, "You guys make a really good team!"

Dude, were you even paying attention? They never even reached a conclusion on their own. And even though they have their little moment at the end, it's all kinda ruined when nothing in their relationship changes.

Yes, in Learning New Things About Ourselves, they acknowledge that there's more work to be done in regards to them, which makes sense. People aren't going to suddenly change overnight.

Yet despite having come to some kind of understanding with each other twice now (both here and LNTAO) in the following episodes they still act like they hate each other! Heck Roman is downright nasty to him for seemingly no reason and I don't really blame him for it.

More like I think the writers just don't know how to develop their relationship and just aren't as interested in them as the others. Logan's been reduced to being Mr. Exposition and apparently Roman's personal issues aren't enough for him to carry a room episode on his own because they felt the need to introduce two new characters before he finally gets it.

Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, the episode.

There's some funny bits here and there and the little animations are cute (even if unnecessary) but really it's only saving grace is being Roman and Logan centered.

Even though they felt the need to include a cameo from literally every other character because apparently no one has any faith that Logan and Roman can carry an episode on their own.

#5 The Sanders Sides 12 Days of Christmas

This episode is just pure fun. Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas, even less of a fan of Christmas songs, but my gosh this episode almost makes me appreciate the season.

The way they're all just bickering the whole time, being very confused, and how there's just so much personality from each character even when they're not talking/singing and just being in the background is *chef's kiss* perfect.

There's so many fun little details to pick out during the song and it's fun to go back and watch how each side reacts to different things.

#4 Selfishness vs Selflessness

Gonna be real, this used to be my favorite episode. Until my overly critical brain started finding all kinds of problems in the writing department but I think I’ve been negative enough on this post so I’ll save it for another time.

Janus steals the show in this one, it’s his first official appearance since his debut and he just soaks up the spotlight. It’s refreshing to have an antagonist in the show again, and he’s the perfect foil for each of the original Sides.

He knows how to play into Roman’s insecurities, know how to feed into his ego and get him on his side. He’s in direct opposition to Patton, who believes that everything Janus represents is wrong. He’s able to silence Logan and take him out of the conversation, speaking over him most of the time.

And I guess he and Virgil have some beef I dunno.

The courtroom scenario is fun, and I love how Janus is the only one who sees how ridiculous it is (even though it was your idea in the first place, Jan) and everyone else seeing it as perfectly normal is hilarious.

I do like some of the more dramatic moments in this episode, especially that final bit with Janus questioning Thomas until he finally gets him to admit the truth. It was intense and reminded me of the scene where Janus confronts Roman in a similar manner.

While far from perfect this is still a good episode and I can find a lot to love about it, like Janus in a suit.

#3 Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts

This episode scared the shit out of me and I loved it.

Okay it didn’t actually scare me. But I stayed up to wait for it to be posted, which wasn’t until 2 or 3 in the morning. So by the time I finally watched it I was half awake and not expecting anything that I witnessed.

The result was me being terrified of Thomas with a mustache and it prevented me from sleeping. I was over it the next day though and had Forbidden Fruit stuck in my head all day. Which isn’t good when you’re running the register at work and you can’t stop singing it.

There’s a lot of reason why I love this episode, Remus being the primary thing. His entrance is iconic, the first few notes from his theme play as he creeps up behind the TV, him smiling at Roman all creepily until he whacks him over the head and knocks him out for most of the episode.

Then we get the song, Forbidden Fruit, which is just great. Slight secondhand embarrassment but seeing the finished product and all they put into it, I can’t help but love it.

Still miffed that Janus hasn’t gotten a song... specifically a villain song... I won’t ever let that go...

Logan is another highlight in this episode (no surprise) and seeing him go head-to-head against his polar opposite without batting an eye was interesting since I was kinda expecting them to show Logan having trouble dealing with Remus but nope. He handled it like a champ and I love them both.

Now I am kinda wary as to how they’re going to handle Remus in the future, especially with the intrusive thoughts aspect. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re already screwing up anxiety. But Remus has only been in one episode so far which means I can’t make any solid judgments until he’s appeared in more episodes, so I’ll have to wait and see.

All in all, great episode! Definitely deserves to be in my top three.

#2 Learning New Things About Ourselves

This episode made me feel so nostalgic. I freaking love puppets and grew up with Sesame Street and the Muppets, so I’m probably biased towards this episode but to me this is really one of the better written episodes.

Perfect? Heck no. But really, really good.

I love that we get to explore a bit more with Logan and Roman’s characters, in a lot of ways this is kind of a Logan episode which has him standing against the other Sides, and it’s really interesting to see just how different he is compared to the three of them and it could just be me but it seemed like he’s becoming more of an outsider and isn’t as close with the original four as he used to be, and this episode is what really kicks that idea off.

I can also relate to the “Well that’s nice but what do you do for a living?” message, except in my case it’s more like I want to quit my “real job” to pursue what I’m passionate about while people tell me it’ll probably never happen or “Yeah that’s a nice hobby!” So this episode really struck close to home and I just have a lot of sentimental feelings towards this one.

I love all of the designs for the puppets, they all just fit perfectly and I wouldn’t mind seeing them make a comeback one day. I know that’d be difficult since they’d need a professional to puppet them but hey, one can dream right?

And oh my gosh the song, it just gives off the same feel from Sesame Street and Muppet songs with it’s jazzy feel. And I won’t lie I flipped my lid when Logan and Thomas were in the same shot together. We hadn’t seen any of the Sides share the screen with Thomas yet and the fact that it was Logan, and he was arguing with Thomas and they were singing over each other? Ah I love it!

Also don’t get me started on how Logan’s bit in the song sounds more villainous than the others. I’m not saying anything just a neat little observation.

I have a lot of happy feelings attached to this episode, so despite the few problems I have with it I could never bring myself to hate it. The only one that tops it is...

#1 Can Lying Be Good?

The episode that started it all. The one that caught my attention and sparked my new fixation on this little series that I had just glossed over before.

I really don’t know what prompted me to watch this episode, other than I wasn’t in the best place and it just happened to pop into my recommendations one day and I figured, “Huh, haven’t watched this guy for awhile. Let’s see what he’s been up to.”

Once the episode was finished my first thought was “Holy shit when did this series start having lore?!”

This episode is probably the closest thing to perfect out of all the season two episodes so far. The writing is clever, pretty much all of the jokes land, and oh my gosh the editing in this one is phenomenal.

The way they show Roman shifting between himself and Joan throughout the episode is what sticks out the most. Having Roman’s voice coming from Joan, or having them briefly change back to Roman, I love it so much.

Not to mention Thomas’s ever changing shirt that reflects what he’s thinking/feeling is a neat little detail.

Did I mention this episode is hilarious? The ridiculousness of each scenario that they act out, with all the little inputs from Logan and Virgil who are both trying their best to do their jobs besides not even wanting to be part of it in the first place is adorable.

And of course, the man of the hour, Deceit. Or Janus as we now know him as.

Is it weird that I like Deceit more as a name? Probably, but that’s just because I don’t like how early his name was revealed.

Okay that was my last negative comment. Promise.

Now since I hadn’t watched Sanders Sides in a while I didn’t notice anything off about “Patton” during my first watch. But going back after seeing the rest of the series helped me catch all the little hints they added to clue in the audience that something wasn’t right.

A lot of it is really subtle, mostly in the acting department, but once you’ve caught on to everything it makes you wonder how you didn’t notice the first time. You can even see Logan and Virgil throughout the episode, knowing that something is off with “Patton” but holding back their concerns until Virgil finally calls Deceit out.

I’ve rewatched Deceit’s reveal so many times. When he finally drops the act after Thomas makes up his mind not to lie, you can just tell he no longer cares whether Thomas knows or not. Then things get even more tense when Logan is silenced, and everyone knows what’s going on except Thomas.

The music starts to build up, Thomas is flipping out, then after Deceit taunts him again he finally demands to know what’s going on and BAM there he is!

I love everything about this.

Like, what else can I say? This episode is brilliant. It really shows exactly what this team is capable of when they’re at their best. The pacing, the build up, the writing, all of it combined together to make the perfect episode.

Season Two has been, interesting. The long waits have caused some problems with the pacing and characters, not to mention the departure of Joan from the writing team with new writers entering the room, not to mention the first welcome now unwelcome arrival of Asides, and with only the season finale left before season three, it makes me wonder just where this series is headed.

I know this series is capable of doing incredible things, season one is still solid and it really holds up even after all this time. But season two just feels like a jumbled mess. Sure, it’s easy to enjoy the episodes individually, but once you try to fit them all together it’s like trying to jam a puzzle piece into a place where it doesn’t fit.

The best way to describe this season is as an experimental season. Each episode has the team trying something new, sometimes it seems these gimmicks take precedence over the story itself. Of course, some of these can work to the episode’s advantage, while others are just distracting and you’d know you wouldn’t miss them if they were gone.

It’s a mixed bag that’s for sure. One that has me watching in morbid curiosity as I wait to see whether it’ll crash in the end or blow my expectations out of the water. It really is fun to analyze these episodes, and yes I know I can be very harsh but believe it or not this is how I engage with media that I love.

My hope is that team will learn from season two and try to take a more simple approach with their production once season three roles around. Because if they continue at the same pace they are now I doubt there will be many people around to see this series through.

And on that note, that was my ranking of season two! I’m actually kinda excited now to go back and rewatch everything, I hope I don’t have to wait much longer to do so but that all depends on when the season two finale comes. Whether it ends up exceeding my expectations or just being “meh” I know it’ll be interesting regardless and I can’t wait to see just how they plan on wrapping this all up before the final season arrives.

#dukeofrankings #dukeofcritical #this one post spawned so many future posts #i'm gonna be a busy onion

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shyung-shoes · 3 years

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content creator year in review!! thank you to the wonderful @memehyungwon @myngho and @art-hao for tagging me <3

first creation in 2020:

this rocket punch set! i thought it was my woozi call call call but that was apparently dec 28.... n e ways! this performance still brings me a lot of joy

most recent creation of 2020:

yechan! yechan let it snow! i love this stage cause yechan got consistent screen time <3 what he deserves

one of your favorite creations from 2020:

yanan seasons greetings! its a really simple set but i love this coloring and all the different moments together. and its yanan so he just makes every set a little better than normal

a creation you’re really proud of:

my netflix set! this took a long time and i was really nervous it wasn’t gonna turn out well. but everyone was so nice and supportive of it. yall hype me up so much ily

a new style you tried this year and a work that uses it:

everything a new style for me yeet! but i adding subs to gifs is still v new to me and im trying to get better at it <3 here’s kino not knowing the lyrics to shine

a creation that took you forever:

hee hee my hao bday set actually took a good chunk of time cause i kept forgetting mvs and had to redo the math on how many gifs went in a row. but for hao it’s worth it!!!

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

i cant find it to save my life but my hao-ranghae set :D the post that is basically the entire foundation of my identity. i love her and i miss her! where is she?

a creation you think deserved more notes:

this is such an awkward question for me oturhobvuf. but uh maybe this yanan daisy acoustic set? i was really proud of this coloring lolol. ofc looking back at it i see things i could change but it’s still pretty

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

all.. of... them?? but i guess technically itd be pentagon, victon, and lucy! here’s the first ever pentagon set i made. she’s rough but thats ok

a creation you made that breaks your heart:

yanan coming home vlog :( breaks my heart cause its bad but also cause this was our first vlog with yanan being back and i still get emotional thinking about it </3

also wooyan vlive- theyre best friends and they were so happy this whole time </33 yanan missed wooseok and wooseok missed yanan :(

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

chef subin!! my first ever victon gifs!! i think i peaked with this coloring and he looks so happy and giggly here. im a simple girl- if subins happy, i’m happy

a creation that was inspired by another one:

my hui bday set! i cant remember exactly who it was but someone made a similar set for scoups birthday this year and i fell absolutely in love with this layout so i wanted to give it a try

a favorite creation created by someone else:

there are so many how am i supposed to pick??

all of @starryallnight‘s subbed live sets. im so grateful to my friend for giffing these and she always picks the sweetests moments.

this sangyeop set is so stunning! the coloring, the moments op picked... 100/10

all of @byunggf byung sets </33 all of them are devestating yet also the reason i get out of bed in the morning. bruh i love byung sm...

paula @subinis has never made a bad set im convicned. grandpa subin... amazing, show stopping, never done before

@han-seungwoo‘s snoo bday set! its so pretty and the font choice is so nice. this set does snoo the justic he deserves

@delicatecy does such amazing work holy shitt... like everything they post is amazing. im in love with this kwan set in particular

@myunqho does incredible work. everything she posts is out of this world but im especially in love with the hao sets but thats just because of who i am as a person ya know.

@soonhoonsol is also such a stunning cc!! there are so many sets i could choose from but im always impressed when chey’s on my dash.

there are so many other people i could mention so i’m real sorry if i didn’t mention u :( but if ur a cc i appreciate u to the moon and back

some of your favorite content creators from the year (i know most of you already did it so it’s just so you know i love your works <33)

oh my gosh i adore literally all the cc’s i follow!! ur all like the backbone of fandom lolol but if i had to mention some people specifically?? @kyunsies @memehyungwon @minhyukie @soonhoonsol @myunqho @scoupsy @subinis @adorablehoshi @delicatecy @baekonbaek <3333

i feel like a lot of people have been tagged so if u already have been my bad! @starryallnight @subinis @byunggf @han-seungwoo @soft-pentagon @kyunsies @monunivers (also hi to people i havent talked to before but am tagging anyway because i love your work)

#thank u for tagging me!!! im honored ppl think of me as a cc #tagged #this was so weird to see all my gifs #and i havent made nearly as many gifs as i thought i had

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chanquill · 4 years

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⋉ aмor odιѕѕe ⋊

aмor odιѕѕe; тнe love тo нaтe

A/N: yes. we’re PG in this household so no swears, only creative insults. those, and those only.

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: none, but creative insults???

Rating: PG

Genre: Fluff, Angst

──── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────

Everyone on campus always thought that you and Chan would make the cutest couple; the King and Queen of Clé University, but they also knew that you two weren’t on the best terms. The smug-faced rat in question was always right behind you, whether it be handing in assignments, test scores or even standing in queue. Whenever you turned around you felt those condescending eyes searing into your skin. “Ugh!” you exclaimed, ”JESUS CHRIST I WISH THAT COCKY LITTLE SWINE WOULD STOP IT. HE’S SO ANNOYING!”

Your best friend Jisung patted your shoulder and tried to reassure you, telling you that it was going to be okay and that it’ll all get better. “‘Sung, I swear there are a couple of screws that aren’t put in right in your head. What the hell are you on about I-“ Before you could finish your sentence, a hand cupped around your mouth from the back and muffled your cries. “WHAT THE- JISUNG, THIS ISN’T FUNNY!” you protested, peeling the hand off your face. As you turned around, you began to realise that the hand that cupped your face didn’t belong to Jisung, much to your dismay. It was the one person you really, really didn’t want to see at that moment. It was Chan, his trademark smirk plastered across his infuriatingly perfect face. You rolled your eyes in disgust and asked, “What?! What do you want now? Do you want me to fall at your feet and grovel? You want me to give you my notes?”

His smirk faltered a little, but returned to its original state as quickly as you had seen it waver. “Well, you see, I wanted to ask you something, but I can see that I’m not welcome right now (or at any other time actually) so...I’ll just...leave? Bye.” Sighing, you grabbed onto his hand with both of yours, pulling him back towards you and Jisung, who was still staring at you and Chan with his mouth open in disbelief. “Fine...FINE. Okay, fine I’ll hear you out. Just don’t pull another kidnapper move like that and you’ll be fine, okay?”

He took a deep breath and slipped his long, slender fingers out of yours, overworked and covered in plasters. “Um, so... basically...I uh... c-can we study together? I’m having t-trouble with this particular part of code and i’m not sure what’s wr-wrong with it. Can y-you help? Please?” The stuttering mess stood in front of you wasn’t the Chan you knew. The one you knew was the arrogant little son of a seahorse-faced cashew, fricking little- You sighed and stroked his hand. “Okay buddy, what’s up? Is this your idea of a joke? Why are you shaking; what happened? Talk to me.” This wasn’t usually you; you never cared about him, and you thought you never would, yet here you were, putting your arm around Chan’s shoulders, guiding him to the nearest bench. After sitting him down and ruffling his hair, you took your water bottle out of your bad and handed it to him. “Here, drink some water.” He grimaced and looked at you weird. “Really? A Bokémon waterbottle? We both know that Migimon is better, right?”

“Are you going to drink the water or not, huh?” you snapped, aware that he was right. Turning your head to face Jisung, you mouthed, “Go! I’ll find you later! GO!!” and shooed him away. “Um so...What did you need help with then?” you asked Chan, “Also did you write the code in Javascript or Python?” You looked back at Chan, not expecting his deep brown eyes, now filled with worry and warmth. He inched closer to you, returning your water bottle to your bag and sighed in relief. “T-thank you, y/n, and uh, I wrote the code in Python,” he mumbled, still occasionally stuttering and stumbling on his words. “Hm okay. Meet me at the library in an hour. I’m just going to drop my bags off at my place and I’ll be back, okay?” You were just getting up to leave when Chan grabbed your hand and pulled you back down, turning your head with one hand, while holding you down with the other. You knew he went to the gym regularly (unfortunately, you had encountered him enough times at the on-site gym to know), BUT BOY WAS HE STRONG. “Uhhhh...Chan?” you asked, unpleasantly surprised, “You need something?” With a puppy-like glint in his eye, he said, “Let me drop you off! Where do you live?” You were puzzled but...something felt wrong about turning him down, and as much as you wanted to refuse, your body somehow urged you to accept. “Fine, I guess...,” you trailed off, unaware of the events that were about to unfold.

————————————————————

As he drove up to the house, you slowly took off your seatbelt and slung your bag over your shoulder. “Give me 20...actually no, you can come in. You wanna come in?,” you asked, not too sure of what to expect. Chan nodded and grinned, a sight you were startled to see.

“Is he usually like this? Am I the one being mean? Oh my god. What if I’m the one being mean. Oh frick oh frick oh frick oh frick. Wait, hang on, AM I IMAGINING THINGS?! Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. C a l m. I am CALM. Wait but-“ you thought to yourself, trudging up the stairs to your apartment. You pulled a key out of your pocket and jammed it into the keyhole. “I- Wait, wait, I swear this was the right key. Hang on-“ This was not going well. Welp. Chan couldn’t hate you any more than he did already so... oh well. After jiggling the key around for a while, Chan offered to open door for you. With a strange mastery, Chan jammed the key into the hole and turned it while pushing it in. Click. “HANG ON A DAMN MINUTE- I’VE BEEN LIVING HERE FOR WHAT? OVER 8 MONTHS NOW? AND I CAN’T EVEN OPEN MY OWN DOOR??? BUT THIS GUY- FRICKING ALMOST 6 FOOT WORM- HE JUST MANAGED TO CLICK IT OPEN???” you wondered to yourself, trying to suppress a scream inside of you. He cracked a smile. “There, the door’s open now, just had to give it a little strength,” he proclaimed, “I’m happy to help any time.” With a humoured look on your face, you pushed Chan into the apartment and locked the door behind you. You threw yourself on the couch and sighed, you didn’t usually invite people in, especially not people you hated.

One of your roommates, Ryujin, walked in, drinking yet another bubble tea. You turned to face her and gave her a long, hard stare. “I swear you run on bubble tea and that’s not healthy, you know? I swear if you get diabetes from the amount of sugar you consume, I’m not coming to funeral because I warned you,” you sighed, massaging your temples. Ryujin stopped sipping on her tea and sauntered up to you, “Sir, whether I’m addicted to boba or not, I’m still the crazy (but cool) kid that you picked up in middle school. You’re never getting rid of me. Ever. And anyway, who’s this guy?” she asked, gesturing to Chan, “Your boyfriend? If so, damn girl, you have TASTE.” You and Chan blushed in unison and started muttering excuses. You stood up, still embarrassed, and stuttered put something along the lines of, “Y-yeah I’m going to go ch-change and I’ll be b-back, okay? Chan, you can sit down, ‘Jin, get him s-some water or juice or w-whatever.” You ran into your room, and quietly slammed the door behind you. “FKSJKDS SHIN RYUJIN YOU’VE REALLY DONE IT THIS TIME I- GAHHHH I CAN’T EVEN DENY THAT HE’S PRETTY- GOD FRICKING DAMN IT!” you thought to yourself, throwing on the closest set of comfortable clothes you could find.

Opening your door ever so slightly, you made eye contact with Ryujin and hissed at her to come over. From across the living room, she shrugged and made her way to you in the least inconspicuous way possible; ‘accidentally’ knocking over a lamp, tripping over Chan and almost spilling her tea. “Ryujin why would you- BRUH THAT’S NOT COOL! YOU DON’T JUST ASK US IF WE’RE TOGETHER! HE’S CHAN. AS IN THE GUY I HATE. YES, THAT GUY!” you exclaimed with an air of exasperation. “U-uh huh. Keep going, you aren’t fooling anyone. This. This is peak whipped behaviour. Face it, y/n, you have a lil pash. oOoOohHh THINK OF THE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL; THERE’S TEA TO LAST ME MONTHS, LITERALLY!” Ryujin made kissy faces and walked back into the kitchen after announcing that she was the official third wheel and no one, not even Lord Changbin himself, could stop her. And the worst part was that you knew deep, down inside, that you really had taken a liking to that raw salmon. Well, it was more of a pash. A strong pash.

You waved your hand and choked. “pSh, ‘Jin’s got nothing on me, I don’t have a small crush on THAT guy; hell, I don’t even like him as an acquaintance...maybe-“ You were confused but nonetheless walked out of your room with fake confidence.

————————————————————

Sitting down next to Chan, you pulled out your laptop from your bag, a pretty new Macbook, plastered with stickers of Stray Kids, a new and upcoming group that hadn’t debuted yet. Chan had a slight bewildered-but-shocked-but-proud expression on his face that was quickly wiped off as you told him to show you his code so far.

————————————————

Both you and Chan had spent hours and hours finishing the project, and it seemed as if it would never end, but at long last came a sigh of drained relief from Chan. He threw his laptop onto the cherry wood coffee table. And leant back into the sofa, a soft murmur of fatigue muttered. You stood up and glanced at the clock by the door, rubbing your eyes to make sure you hadn’t read it wrong; it was one in the morning. That’s right, you and your not-so-much-enemy-anymore had spent all night working on some code. Some stupid code. “Chan? It’s uh...it’s one am. And I’m pretty sure the dorms won’t be open now, and even if they were, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t let you in, considering the grisly state you’re in, at the moment. I really would let you crash this one time, but uh, where would you sleep??? CHAN GET UPPPPPP!” you urged, a small part of begging him to stay. Brushing those thoughts away, you started stepping over Chan to get to your room, when he grabbed your hand pulled you back down. But not back to where you were sitting, oh no no no, he pulled you down to his lap. Wrapping his arm around you, he begged to stay the night. “We can stay like this forever, if you want to. Do you want you?” you joked. “Absolutely,” replied Chan, a slight beam coming across his face, “Good Night.”

──── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────

END.

A/N: hM yeah okay, i could’ve done better but y’know. i’m satisfied. thank you for reading!

#stray kids #stray kids imagines #bang chan #chan #bang chan imagines #skz fanfic #kpop fluff #stray kids fluff #chanquill #.hershiewrites

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allthethingamabobs · 4 years

Text

family sticks together, bruh

Notes: I was re-watching the Bay-verse movies and suddenly got irritated at the no last name thing at the end of the second one. April O'Neil was right there. Their ride-or-die, their badass older sister, their hogosha. So here's my first contribution to the TMNT fandom. I literally wrote this in half a day, so if you see any writing errors all I gotta say is...my bad. Enjoy the found family fluff!

Rating: G

Also on AO3.

April figured it all started with a package hastily stuffed in her mailbox. It was barely small enough to fit, wrapped in that tough paper-cardboard material, and took a few careful pulls to get out. She couldn’t recall ordering anything recently, so the least she could do was try not to destroy what was most likely her neighbor’s mail. But when she flipped it over for the addressee, she was surprised to see “Mikey O’Neil” on it.

April and her “childhood pets” had been reunited four months back now, and it continued to throw her life upside down. A happy upside down, though. Those two names together were doing a number on the loner habits she’d built up since her father’s death. Apparently, all it took was four mutant teenagers and their father to start breaking down those walls.

She snapped a photo of the package and sent it to Mikey as she walked up to her apartment. Her phone lit up with a video chat request seconds later. The boys were just like any other teens when there weren’t bad guys to fight—they loved texting (on their one-of-a-kind turtle phones), sending her snaps, and video chatting whenever they could. April supposed that 15 years alone in a sewer could make one a little starved for new attention, and she was always happy to talk.

One of Mikey’s eyes filled the screen first, and then his grinning face when he pulled back. “You got it!” he hollered.

There was a thump from somewhere behind him, and Leo yelled something about peace and quiet when meditating. Then all she could see was a blurry carapace as Mikey quickly escaped to some other part of the lair. “You got it!” he cheered again, down to a whisper-yell.

“Sure did,” she answered with a smile, while making sure her apartment door locked behind her. “A little heads up would be nice, though. People do steal packages.”

“Man, that would’ve been no bueno. It has my name on it and everything.”

She shrugged—it was New York, what could she say. “About that… Mikey O’Neil, huh?”

He brightened. “Yeah! Makes sense, right? You’ve always been family even if we got separated for like, way too long, and who wouldn’t want to be a badass O’Neil?”

“Hm.” Her smile was fond even as she bit her lip to keep herself from doing something dramatic like tearing up. “You make some excellent points.”

Mikey nodded, seemingly proud of his reasoning. “You get me, April. So when are you gonna come hang out?”

“Not until tomorrow at least.” She set the phone on the counter as she turned to mess with the oven dials. “I’ve got to eat, and then a grimy bathroom and donation boxes are calling my name.”

Two weeks ago, a great aunt she hadn’t talked to since her father’s funeral had passed away and apparently left her succession rights to a New York miracle: a rent-controlled apartment above a quiet antique store. It was a dated unit and still smelled a bit like old people, but she was making it work.

A whine came from her phone. “Aw, shell… Oh, hey! We could help! Four mutants and a human are better than one!”

“That’s sweet, Mikey, but I’ve got this.” Plus, she was starting to pick up the brother’s dynamics. That visit would devolve into complete chaos in no time, given the cluttered mess. There were a lot of breakable objects she was still in the process of either packing up or donating.

“Your loss, Ape. Guess we’ll see you tomorrow.” He got up close to the camera again and whispered dramatically, “You’ll bring the package, right?”

She snorted and leaned over so he could see her face. “Pinky swear.”

“I don’t have a pinky, so I’ll have to believe you. Bye, April!”

The screen went blank, and April had a glimpse of herself in the reflection. She had to admit… her smile looked a lot more genuine these days.

In work news, however, life had been a lot of sucking up to Bernadette and the team after getting her job back, so she didn’t get down to the lair until late in the evening. Entering through the water system wasn’t exactly ideal, so they’d built a biometric, heavily enforced door as an alternative. Leo spotted her first as she shoved her way in and waved from where he was cleaning his katanas.

The new lair seemed to change every time she visited—more light-up signs or beat-up furniture appearing—and she still felt a little guilty for being the reason behind the move. The guys had assured her that they didn’t blame her, and they were having fun with the tall ceilings and tunnels in the new space. Splinter had even claimed one to start a bonsai garden.

“Hey, April! How was your day?” Leo called, carefully setting his weapons aside to get up.

“Not too bad, mostly research on some detox craze—”

“April!?” There was a crash from the back where they had set up a gym area in an upper opening. Mikey came tumbling out, almost right on top of where Raph was exiting the lower tunnel, and he gracefully avoided retaliation. “You got the goods?”

Leo shot her a confused frown, and she answered with a fond “don’t ask” look before rummaging in her bag to pull it out. “Yes, Mikey, I have the goods.”

Mikey bounced over and pulled her into a quick, bone-crushing hug before taking the package out of her hands. He ripped into it and pulled out a gaudy gold chain that looked like it once belonged in a 2000’s music video.

“Bling, bling!” he crowed and threw the shell necklace off to be replaced.

“Wait a minute, is that what was so important you had to order it?” Donnie said as he and Raph joined the group. “That’s such a waste of money!”

“Some ninja you are,” Raph snorted. “You can see that ugly-ass chain from a mile away.”

Leo hummed at that and then frowned. “Mikey, did you even ask April if you could send that to her place before you ordered it?”

Said turtle shrugged. “I knew she wouldn’t mind.”

The others seemed to erupt at once.

“Except it’s an unknown package being sent to her place, especially with the Foot Clan knowing her association with us—”

“Even worse, it’s inconsiderate to just assume—”

“Even worse, Leo? What kind of bullshit is that—”

April was an only child (well, not so much anymore), so she wasn’t used to how quickly one small thing could turn into a full blown argument. If pushing got involved, then 6-foot mutant turtles or not, she would break up that fight—yup, there’s the shoving.

“Guys, GUYS!” April moved forward and intercepted the beginning of whatever as they all avoided bumping into her. “It’s fine. You can have stuff sent to my place, I don’t care. As long as I can get it down here.”

It took a little more convincing to assure them that no, they were not imposing on her, and then they seemed excited about this new opportunity. Apparently, they’d had to scout out addresses before and sneak the package away before the occupants realized. Obviously, this was much more convenient.

Steadily, they all started to order stuff online (with what money or credit card she had no idea) and have it sent to her place. Parts for Donnie, books for Leo, and though she only felt it through the packaging, yarn for Raph. At first, Mikey was the only one who used O’Neil for the address. Then something changed, and they all started to use it too. A package of tea addressed to Splinter O’Neil gave her a small laugh one day. Raph had been the last to address himself as O’Neil, always so stubborn, and seemed almost shy when she delivered it.

April knew she was very biased on this, having seen them as teeny-tiny babies, but her little-big brothers could be pretty adorable sometimes.

---

The last name thing had come up with Splinter one day as they sat in his quiet bonsai garden, enjoying some tea while the boys burned off energy around the rest of the lair.

“I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or anything, but I’ll admit it’s… nice. My dad was really all I had for family, so it was just us and then me for so long. It’s almost like this has all… I don’t know, come full-circle? If that makes sense?”

Splinter smiled and reached out to lay his hand on hers.

“I was not lying when I said I modeled my parenting after your father. One way or another, you both cared for this family, and you know we consider you a part of it.” April nodded, a little choked up, and grasped his hand. He’d said it himself, but she wasn’t ready to fully relive how Splinter felt so familiar, so comforting.

“Besides,” he continued with a chuckle. “Michelangelo has quite enjoyed having a last name, and I think the others were a bit hesitant before they saw that you didn’t mind.”

“Of course not, I’m all for it,” April laughed, wiping under her eyes. “Now there’s more than just me to make the O’Neil name proud.”

---

One other thing she had discovered about being a big sister to four trouble-prone teens: full names were extremely effective.

“Donatello O’Neil!” she shouted the second she stepped into the lair, and all movement ceased. Leo balanced on one foot, mid-throw, Raph was mid-swing across the lair, and Mikey had an orange soda titled towards his face, where it slowly dripped down his front.

A weak “Oh, shell” came from the direction of the lab, and she stormed over. A taunt from Mikey followed but was quickly cut off with a grunt. Donnie was hunched over his desk, head turned slightly to look up at April’s furious approach.

“Why the hell did I just find a tracker in not one but all of my jackets?” She reached into her pocket, grasped the tiny devices, and tossed them on the desk. “I almost had a panic attack thinking I was being tracked by someone else. You know that’s been one of my worst fears ever since the Shredder, and we’ve talked about privacy and emergency plans, Donnie. I have a panic button on my phone, and I gave you permission to track it when absolutely necessary.” She let out a frustrated huff, pointing at the trackers. “What. Are. These?”

He’d sputtered a bit and avoided her eyes as she spoke, but he finally looked up when she stood silent, waiting for an answer. His shoulders drooped, and he wheeled back from his desk to face her. Even sitting, Donnie was only slightly shorter than her.

“Contingency plan,” he finally bit out. “Phones are most likely the first thing a kidnapper would get rid of to avoid tracking.”

“Wh— kidnapper?” That caught her off guard, and the tension in her shoulders released a little. Was there a new danger she didn’t know about? “But who… Oh.”

Movement on his tablet drew her eye, and the footage there followed a shady van that looked very familiar.

The Foot Clan—because an organization that big could still survive with their leader in jail for a year now—had disabled her turtle-approved security system and ransacked her apartment a couple of weeks ago. The cameras from across the street told them that and how the intruders had missed April coming home by a mere 12 minutes. They had obviously been searching for something specific, and she eventually realized it must have been the box of notes from Project Renaissance. Luckily, they had been stored in the lair for safe keeping.

After coming home to that mess, April called Donnie right away and started packing up her necessities. All four of the turtles had met her at her usual sewer entrance, and they formed a tense detail on the trip back. She worked out-of-office that week as she laid low in the lair and waited for the all-clear while they doubled up her apartment’s security. Splinter and the boys were good about giving her space when she was working, but she could still feel the hovering and worry. The guys had been in and out more often, Splinter always had some tea ready for her, and she just knew there had been many hushed conversations out of earshot.

Sure, deadly henchmen being in her apartment had freaked her out, but it had really freaked out her new family. April held her own against all of the weird shit they got dragged into, but there were always reminders that she did not have a shell or ninja training; a sprained ankle, one small concussion, too many bruises to remember, and even a few less inches of hair when it got singed in an explosion.

She looked between the tablet and Donnie, but now he held his gaze steady. “The Foot know where you live, and you refuse to move. This was the best way for us to always be there when you need us.” His voice was even, calculated, but his hands were clasped tightly and one foot tapped insistently.

Oh, her sweet, overprotective boys. Under all that bullet-proof shell, they were all just teenagers who had five people in the world to call family, and they did not take that for granted.

April sighed and turned to sit against the desk, holding out one hand. Donnie took it and held on, grip tight. “It comes from a good place, Donnie, but you have to tell me about these things. Trust goes both ways, okay?”

Leo, Raph, and Mikey were hovering around the entrance to the lab, and she gave them all a stern look to reiterate her point. “I know I don’t have a shell, but I am scrappy, stubborn, and awesome at running in heels.”

“Way better than the Jurassic World chick,” Mikey piped up, and Raph lightly punched his arm.

“You’re damn right,” April answered, smiling at his effort to lighten the mood. “So I appreciate the worry, guys, but you need to talk to me. I worry, too. You might forget, but you’re not invincible.”

“Better off than you,” Raph grunted. This time Mikey punched him, not as lightly. “What, it’s true!”

April sighed. “Come on, Raph, you know muscle isn’t everything.”

“No,” he grumbled, “but you got us. Whether or not you like it, we can take the hard hits.”

“What he means to say,” Leo said, shoving Raph back with his shoulder, “is that we were worried, and we didn’t think you were taking the threat seriously enough.” Donnie’s hand gripped hers a little harder, and she looked back to see him nod in agreement. “We are sorry about the secrecy, though.”

April sighed. “Fair point. You know I love you guys,” they perked up at that, “but having back-up is kind of a new thing for me. It’s habit to go solo, and it’s habit for you four to be a team.”

She held out her other hand. Leo was closest, and he took it with some hesitation. “Still a learning process all around.”

Mikey eagerly grasped Leo’s other hand and then Raph’s, refusing to let go even as Raph gave a shake, so they were all joined. “Family sticks together, bruh.”

---

The O’Neils had been a thing for awhile now, but writing it down was very different to actually saying it outloud. Mikey had no trouble claiming his new last name, and had even dubbed some pizza monstrosity he concocted from as many toppings he could get as the “O’Neil Special.” For the others, it took some time to say it—at least when she was around to hear.

Eight months. Donnie had been talking a mile a minute about a phone meeting set up with an award-winning engineer currently teaching at NYU. He’d been given 30 minutes to ask her all the questions he wanted. April had kind of bullied Vern into setting it up with his new connections, and Donnie had asked her to be there for moral support. She assured him it was all going to go great and to just make the call already. His shoulders went rigid under her hands when the call connected. “Hi! Hello, uh, this is Donatello O’Neil, I got your number from Vern? The Falcon?” She squeezed his shoulders in comfort, grinning proudly for many reasons.

One year and 2 months. Raph had been playing a one-on-one basketball game with Donnie while April refereed. Even as the self-proclaimed muscles, Raph was agile, and he did a quick maneuver around Donnie to score a perfect 3-pointer. “And Raph O’Neil makes the shot!” he whooped, doing a quick victory dance. He didn’t seem to realize it, but April certainly did. She felt warm and fuzzy after that, so she let him get away with traveling a couple minutes later.

For Leo, it just hadn’t come up yet. Although, one day she’d been stress cleaning their mess of a kitchen, and opened one beat-up book in curiosity to see “Leonardo O’Neil” neatly written on the cover page. That was enough for her.

Then her amazing family had finally gotten the acknowledgement they so rightly deserved.

“To you, brothers. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo.” Chief Vincent paused. “Last name?”

The guys all glanced her way, and April didn’t care if her eyes were a little watery at Leo’s answer. “O’Neil.”

#tmnt #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse #tmnt bayverse #april o'neil #tmnt april #fanfic

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ybelovva · 4 years

Text

the basics;

NAME: Yelena Belova

ALIAS(ES): Black Widow, Pale Little Spider, Rooskaya, too many to count...

AGE: Twenty-four

BIRTHDAY & ZODIAC: August 31st, Virgo

MBTI: ISTJ Inspector

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: She/Her

FACECLAIM: Florence Pugh

tw:mentions of deviant behavior (not yelena)

a deeper look;

FAMILY: Unnamed mother, Olga (Aunt)

AFFILIATION: Russia, Black Widow Ops Program, Red Room

THREE FAVORITE THINGS: Her country, Her job, Vodka

THREE HATED THINGS: Failure, Being Lesser than Natasha, New Gotham

EDUCATION: Some high school, Graduate of the Red Room espionage unit

SKILLS: Master Martial Artist, Gymnast, Espionage, Adept with all kinds of weapons, Highly Intelligent (to a degree), Trained operative

WEAPONS: ElectroShock Bracelets (Widow’s Bite) and Various Guns

ABILITIES: N/A

the questionnaire;

question: WHAT IS SOMETHING YOUR CHARACTER LIKES ABOUT NEW GOTHAM? SOMETHING THEY DISLIKE? DO THEY MISS THE WAY THINGS WERE - OR DO THE LIKE HOW THE WORLD IS NOW?

There isn’t much Yelena likes about New Gotham, but she does like that crowded streets mean she can blend in and disappear, whenever she wants. Allows her to watch her back, while following another’s. Yelena dislikes everything else. New York city, the creatures, the smell ---- but she especially detests the crime rate in New Gotham city. Moscow wasn’t nearly as dirty as this. At least they had principles and real punishment, where she came from. Here? Criminals run rampant, cocky, it disgust her, especially now that some of them have wings and fangs. It surprised her, all these new types of people and creatures, but it isn’t the first time she’s fought something non-human. She’s just not used to it being normal, but she’s getting used to it. Yelena misses the way things were, before the collision. She wants to go back to her universe, and fufill her duties as the Black Widow. At least there, she was the only one.

question: WHERE WAS YOUR CHARACTER WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGED? ARE THEY SUSPICIOUS OF EVERYONE OR ARE THEY TRYING TO REMAIN UNDER THE RADAR? HAVE THEY REUNITED WITH THEIR FRIENDS OR ARE THEY LOST?

Yelena was in the middle of a mission. Well, more like a post lesson. When everything changed, she was on her way to her next mission when she was taken out of her universe and dropped into this one. Yelena is both suspicious of everyone and under the radar. She doesn’t know who or what brought her here, and why? New Gotham is constantly changing, and with it bring more people, and more questions. Under the radar, because she doesn’t want to bring any unnecessary attention to herself. Give them just enough to ease them in conversation, that’s it. They wouldn’t want to know who the real Yelena Belova was. Yelena doesn’t have friends. Period. She’s lost and on her own, but she has a plan. She plans to scout out the area and people, as many as she can, gather information and figure out how to get outta here: that is her mission. Her skin crawls, the longer she stays in this place, but meanwhile, she’s going to use her skill set to save herself.

question: ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: ANYTHING YOU WANT US TO KNOW? ANY HEADCANONS? Hi! I’m Sessho! And Yelena needs a lil bit of an explanation to the group. Since we don’t know how Yelena will be played in the upcoming Black Widow movie, I’m basing her more on her comic counterpart who’s a little more evil than ya think (I have already discussed this with one of the admins). So, following, is a bio I made for her ages ago based on her in the comics. I hope it makes sense and you all enjoy!

Yelena’s life before the Widow Program, was all but forgotten by the time she was fifteen. When Yelena was fifteen years old, she was recruited by the Red Room to be the next potential Black Widow. The same academy that the Soviet’s trained the first Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff. Once it’d become clear that their beloved Widow had defected, the Soviets knew they had a lot of work to do with Belova. And so that is where her story, begins.

She was originally spotted for her exceptional physical condition, high marks on her IQ tests, and her talent in gymnastics. The KGB meant for her to succeed her predecessor. Despite the program’s success, their perfect spy failed them. So, for years Yelena was trained under a strict regimen by the trainers of the program. During her training, Yelena scored incredibly high on her tests. But instead of being proud about it, she stated Romanoff had scored better, under the same tests. She hated to be lesser than a traitor who deserted her country.

The Red Room was her home, the pale little spider trained under for a decade. They fed her, clothed her. They played their vicious mind games on her, brainwashed her. Taught her how to fight, how to bleed. How to kill, and how to blend as a spy. She’d all but forgotten her life, before. One particular trainer she came to view, as a father figure. Pyotr Vasilievich Starkovsky, a Lieutenant Colonel who taught Yelena hand-to-hand combat, weapon use, and knife work for over a decade. A trained hand in hand combatant, he was her main instructor. She’d become close to him, and Starkovsky too considered her like his daughter. Though Starkovsky became obsessed. Yelena never thought anything of it. She was starting to feel inferior and inadequate to her predecessor, but as much as wanted to defeat her, Yelena undoubtedly idolized her. Even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself.

While Starkovsky’s deviant behavior found a substitute in a brothel with a woman named Petra, a look-alike of Yelena. What happened next, Yelena doesn’t exactly know. Starkovsky was dead, killed by Petra. Belova was shattered by the news, and confused by the loss of her father figure. She’d been told Starkovsky had been stealing secrets from the Black Widow program, and Yelena decided to investigate, on her own. In the end, Yelena killed Petra, and proceeded to accept the role as the new Black Widow. Belova would go on to never know that the entire ordeal, and the brothel’s owner, and the other woman in the room, Nikki, was an exercise. And part of her graduation test.

Her time as the Black Widow was short, but not without making it’s bite on the various people who mattered. For years, she’d completed intelligence missions for the KGB under the moniker Black Widow. Though her efforts, and partially the name, were overshadowed by the scarlet Widow. The real Black Widow. Yelena worked in the dark. The only people who learned that there was a second Widow, were her targets, and others who kept tabs on her. But the world knew of the Black Widow as a superhero. Natasha Romanoff, the Avenger. Yelena watched the movements of Natasha and the rest of the Avengers, through the years. And she waited. Shadowed by her predecessor once more. Seeing her face on the screen, fueled her obsession and drive to beat her, and be the only Widow that still represented mother Russia.

Yelena and Natasha had crossed paths, at least once, before Yelena successfully killed her. Natasha had always been far more experienced than the younger Widow, superior, but Yelena turned Natasha’s “mind games” on her. Wishing to teach Yelena a lesson, Natasha and Nick Fury, created Operation: Validate. The operation had Belova captured and surgically altered to be Natasha Romanoff and vice verse. To be her duplicate, and Natasha became Yelena Belova. Belova mentally held it together and played along, believing this had to be a mission that’d gone wrong. In the end, Natasha explained to Yelena that she’d orchestrated the whole thing in order to tell her the truth. Yelena was just a pawn for the people who trained. An instrument in war, not some heroine for her country. And that espionage was not a game, but Yelena didn’t want to hear it, and she shot Natasha and killed her. Yelena escaped with her life before Fury and his operatives could get there, and their mission was deemed a failure.

After much convincing, Yelena used the doctors provided by the Red Room to reverse the effects of the surgery. Yelena looked like herself again, and now, in this new world, she was the one and only Black Widow. She achieved her greatest desire, to beat her predecessor, but Yelena felt no differently. Her passion disappeared after that, but she continued onto her next mission....

plots: So basically, plot-wise, Yelena’s universe is mostly comic based since the Black Widow movie hasn’t come out yet, and I’ve taken some liberties here and there with her bio. In her universe, she killed Nat, but after she feels lost, until she ends up in New Gotham. She’ll slowly become an Anti-Hero, here, in New Gotham, through interactions and plots and whatnot. That’s where I can blend in some of the MCU for her, because I’m also really excited about what they’ll do for Yelena in the MCU !!!

Connections! Honestly, I’ll take them all, no bias here, especially since I’d like to see her become somewhat of a hero. I wanna put Yelena through the ringer tho too, so come at me, bruh.

The only other thing I was gonna put here was, my laptop can’t make text smaller (it’s already small) so all my text will look regular-sized for tumblr posts. Sorry!

#synergy:charintro #tw:deviant behavior #/mentions of #/not by yelena

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iamknicole · 5 years

Text

Fight

Bloodline Family Series / Parental Paragraphs

"Aye, Milo."

Taking his head out of his locker for a moment, Milo looked at his classmate with his brow raised. He was trying to switch his math book for his Spanish one while he waited for his cousins to meet him. They always walked to their third period class together.

"Your mama comin' to the game Friday?"

Milo rolled his eyes as he continued with what he was doing. "She's always at my games, VJ. Everybody knows that."

Milo watched VJ's two friends laugh and whispered behind him. His patience was starting to wear thin. Milo and his cousins never messed with VJ or his friends. Not their type of people.

"So, shit," he shrugged, "That mean your fine ass aunties comin' too then?"

"And so are my uncle's and my dad. You wanna say that shit to them? Cause I'm sure they'd love to hear it."

"Stop being so hostile, man. Just put in a good word for me and my boys. We know they fine asses get real lonely when they men ain't here."

Milo slammed his locker, cradling his Spanish book on his other hand. He glared at the three boys, he could feel his face start to heat up. "And what the hell would they want with y'all?"

"They look like they could use some dick," VJ said grabbing onto his dick. "Especially ya moms. Her face always tore up, ya pops must not know what he doin."

"Get outta here talkin about my mama. Don't get messed up."

VJ and his friends laughed as other students started to notice the tension. "Stop bein like that, Milo. I'm tryna help. Ya moms is just my type too. Small waist, nice titties and a fat ass. Shit, aunties got ass too."

As VJ threw his head back to laugh, Milo dropped his book and swung. His fist connecting with VJ's jaw. The hit knocked VJ off his feet. His friends that were once laughing now stood silently, watching their friend for his next move. None of them expected that from Milo. Just as VJ picked himself up a small crowd started to form around the boys, VJ's friends faded back into it.

"Your soft ass hit me in my fuckin' mouth. Ya ass can't take a joke?" VJ complained holding his jaw.

Milo huffed ignoring the pain in his hand. "Don't talk about my mama or my aunties. I told you that."

"I say whatever the fuck I wanna say. You got lucky that time, next time you better hope you don't miss."

"Whatever, bruh. Keep them out ya mouth."

"How bout this? You tell them to keep my dick outta they mouths then withcha bitch ass."

Milo attacked VJ's face and upper body with repeated blows. VJ was able to get two hits in before Milo tackled him to the ground. Those punches only pissed Milo off even more.

While Milo was beating VJ up, Eli and Koda were coming out of the stairwell. They were held up by their literature teacher. Koda saw the crowd and pointed it out to his cousin.

"Bet it's some hoes fightin'," Eli joked.

Koda laughed as they approached the cirlcle. "Let Auntie hear ya ass say that shit."

They boys bowed their way through the fight. They laughed at their peers who were screaming for someone to break it up and at the ones recording the fight. But when they got to the middle, their smiles were gone. Milo was still on top of VJ, VJ was attempting to fight back but it wasn't working. Milo was beating his ass. Both boys cursed to themselves before pulling Milo off of the boy. As they were pulling Milo back, the assistant principal and the principal came barreling through the tight circle with school security in tow. School security and principal grabbed the cousins up, escorting them to the office while the assistant cleared the other students and checked on VJ. The cousin got thrown inside the principal's office. The security left them with the principal.

"I expect this kind of behavior out of you two," Principal Brown said looking at Koda and Eli. "But you, Mr. Fatu. I'm shocked that you allowed your cousins pull you into this mess."

Eli sucked his teeth and threw his hands up. "I'm real offended that you think that low of me, Mr. Brown. It wasn't even me, I was the peace maker. Koda too."

"Peace maker my foot. You just close your mouth until your parents get here."

"Forreal," Koda stressed. "The fight had started before we even got there. We broke it up, Milo was beatin' VJ ass."

"Watch your mouth, Mr. Reigns. Is that true, Mr. Fatu?" He asked with the phone to his ear.

Milo said nothing, he stared straight ahead. Opening and closing his fists.

"It's true," Eli answered loudly, "I ain't get nan lick in. Cuzzo ain't let us get a two piece, nothin. Straight dogged VJ ass."

"I was talking to that Mr. Fatu. Not you, Eli." Mr. Brown said dialing the first number. "And watch your mouth."

"I just got a question. Why they get 'Mr." and I'm just Eli. That's messed up, Mr. Brown. Thought we were better than that."

All three sets of parents pulled up at the same time. The men allowed their wives to go in front of them. Jimmy and Trinity were pissed, they didn't have time to deal with Eli and his attitude. Kandice and Roman were annoyed, Koda was always following up Eli. They were sure whatever happened could have been avoided. Apryl and Jey were upset that Eli no good ass couldn't stay his ass out of trouble therefore Milo couldn't stay his ass out of trouble. Simba was just happy to be out of the house and able to go to Milo's school. He skipped in between the group of parents. The secretary allowed them into the conference room where the principal had moved the boys. Jimmy and Trinity went straight to Eli, both of them slapping him in the back of his head.

"Yoooo," he sung out holding his had, "Yall wild. That wasn't even me! It was Creed over there."

Kandice twisted Koda's ear. "What did you do?"

"Me? Im the most innocent thing sittin' in here. Mike Tyson over there knocking people out and that one said hoes again. It's them Fatu boys, Mama. I'm an angel."

Roman smacked the back Koda's neck, glaring down at him.

"I'm just sayin', Pop."

"How about you don't say anything?" Roman warned.

Simba climbed into his brother's lap, the parents sat on either side of their children waiting for the principal to tell them what happen.

"Seems that you sons were involved in a fight with another boy. The boy is bruised up pretty bad, there's an ambulance on the way for him."

"Ambulance? What did y'all do?" Trinity asked glaring at her son. "Yall jumped that boy? For what?"

"What? No! We," Eli stressed pointing to himself and Koda, "didn't get nan lick in, Ma. Milo fought that boy."

"Stop lyin," Jimmy spat.

Mr. Brown cleared his throat. "If I may. Eli is telling the truth. I viewed the cameras, it was a one on one fight. Mr. Fatu fought the other boy. Eli and Mr. Reigns here we're trying to break it up. But Eli, you did, in fact, get a hit in. I saw that much. Mr. Reigns did also but it was after Mr. Fatu hit him on accident and Mr. Reigns assumed the other boy hit him though."

"See. Here we go with this Eli stuff. I wanna be 'Mr. Fatu', call fight night over there Milo."

"Shut your ass up, Elijan."

"Yes, Mama." Eli sat back in his chair pouting. Even when he wasn't in trouble, he was in trouble.

"So what you're saying is my son did this," Apryl asked with a smirk. "Can we see this footage? Cause I don't know if I believe that my goofy baby did that. Especially for the boy to need an ambulance."

Mr. Brown went to stand but Eli held his hand up making every adult in the room suck their teeth. "Koda got the video, Auntie. Shorty from first period sent it to him." Eli smirked.

"Why that lil heffa got your number?" Kandice whispered.

"Not the time, Kandi," Roman chastised, "Give me your phone, Koda."

Koda unlocked his phone and went to the message thread before handing the phone over. "Aight. Pops don't scroll left or right and as soon as the video is over look away."

Roman glared at his son as he snatched the phone out of his hands. The twins, Trinity and Apryl got up to get a closer look at the phone. They gasped and cussed to themselves as they watched the beat down Milo gave. Once the video was over, Apryl couldn't help but smile. She was proud. Patting her son on the back when she got back to her seat.

"I'm just still confused. My son is goofy as shit, he don't do stuff like that." Jey argued.

"I mean, he is my kid, Jey. I taught him something. Bedside that goofy shit he got from you."

"Look at his hands, Apryl. His knuckles are bruised and bleeding."

"That's cause he beat his ass, Jey."

Jey waved her off turning his attention back to the principal. "Why were they fighting?"

"Apparently the boy made some unsavory comments about both Mrs. Fatus and Mrs. Reigns. Mr. Fatu attempted to settle the issue verbally but the boy kept talking."

Trinity looked around her brother in law to Milo, a small smile on her face. "I appreciate you standing up for us, Lo. But you didn't have to do all that."

"We're grown, baby. Whatever he said doesn't matter, you know it wasn't true."

"With all due respect, Mama," Koda added. "VJ mouth is reckless. If it's anything like what he said to me and Eli the other day then ion blame Milo for gettin his ass."

"Yeah. Me and Koda got his ass though. He tried Milo cause he thought my boy wasn't bout shit." Eli shrugged. Trinity turned slowly to look at her son. She wanted to tell him to be quiet but she knew all he was trying to do was help.

"What did he say to y'all, Ko?" Roman asked now starting to calm his nerves.

Koda looked at his dad then at his mama and shook his head. "I can't say."

"Tell me, Koda."

"I'd like to, Pops but I can't repeat what he said. There's women in the room," He sighed, "One of which will beat me if I tried."

Every adult in the room then turned their attention to Eli, who sat playing with his fingers oblivious to their watching. Jimmy smacked his chest lightly gaining his attention. "What's up, Dad?"

"Tell us what he said to y'all."

"But there's women and a child in the room," he smirked.

"And your ass don't care any other time. Start talking, Elijan."

"Aight, aight. Don't hit me," he demanded pointing his finger at his mama. She pushed it away and told him to talk. "He asked me and Koda if we thought our Mamas would fuck him, course we said fuck no and he got all pissy. So then he was like Mama, Auntie A and TK got dick sucking lips so I punched his ass in the stomach. He kept talking shit though. He was like 'ima fuck ya mamas and be ya step daddy' or some stupid as shit like that so Koda slapped fire from his ass. He said something else so we caught him after school and beat his ass."

"Koda Makai," Kandice sneered pinching his arm.

"What, Mama? We wasn't letting nobody talk about y'all like that. Fuck we look like? I'm glad Milo beat VJ ass. He need to learn to keep his mouth shut."

"That's enough, Koda," Roman said squeezing his shoulder. Koda sucked his teeth and sat back in his chair.

"He lucky we wasn't there or it would've been worse," Eli added with a nod.

Apryl rubbed the side of Milo's face still wearing her proud smile. Simba laid against his brother's chest, playing with the buttons on Milo's shirt. "I'm proud of you for standing up for us, baby. But maybe next time you hold back a lil bit."

"Apryl," Kandice and Trinity called.

"What? I'm just saying. I'm not condoning fighting but it was for a good reason."

"Stop talkin, A." Apryl rolled her eyes at her husband, she went back to rubbing her baby's face. They didn't have to be proud of him, she was.

The principal stood to leave the room. "I'm gonna go get their paperwork. Mr. Reigns and Mr. Eli will be suspended for eight days per policy. Even though they were helping, it's against policy and they both threw punches." Their parents nodded, they understood. "And Mr. Fatu would be suspended for ten days as well as the other young man. They will not be able to play in the game this Friday, either."

As soon as the door closed behind the principal, Eli started laughing. "Ayyye. He gave me respect. I knew we were cool."

"You shut your ass up," Jimmy chastised. "You just happy you ain't in trouble this time."

"Damn right. We bout to enjoy these days," he laughed holding his hand out to Koda. Koda went to slap his cousin's hand but he could feel both parents staring holes in the sides of his head. "Come on TK and Unc. We ain't do shit this time. We not in trouble."

"Didn't your daddy tell you to hush?" Kandice asked sternly.

"He actually told me to shut my ass up, TK. There's a difference." Eli sassed then put his hands up to block the hits he knew was coming.

"Lo, you good? You hurt?"Jey asked examining his hands.

"No, he not hurt. My baby don't have a scratch on him. That's my baby."

"He's your baby but you ain't realized his ass ain't said shit the whole time we been here, Apryl."

Apryl's smile turned into a frown. She was so happy to hear Milo finally got into a fight and won that she didn't realize he was still upset. "What's wrong, baby?" She asked softly. Milo pushed away from the table, he sat Simba in his Mama's lap before getting up. Jey asked what was wrong but Milo ignored him, making a b line for the door. His father, uncles and cousins trying to stop him as his mama, brother and aunties watched in confusion. They held him back but that didn't stop him from trying to get out the door.

"Where you tryna go, son?" Jey asked now standing in front of Milo. "Where you goin, baby?"

"To get VJ. I wasn't finished."

"You got em, cuz. I'm sure his ass regret all the shit he been sayin." Eli assured patting his back.

The men held Milo back until he stopped fighting them and laid all his weight on his father. Jey held him tightly, whispering a few things to his first born. He kept talking until Milo's breathing became regular again. Apryl watched them starting to feel bad. She had no idea he was that upset. The principal came back in with their papers. He had questions but decided against asking and just gave their papers out letting them know they could leave. Jey held onto his son as they walked through the office in front of the rest of the family. They passed VJ on their way out, all of them shocked at the damage Milo had done. All of them except Simba. Simba wiggled out of his Mama's arms to run over to VJ. He screamed then started attacking the young man. "Don't touch my brodder! My brodder!" Apryl and Trinity pulled him off, trying not to laugh. Kandice got him from them, holding Simba tightly under her arm as he kicked and screamed out the office.

#bloodline family series #jey & apryl #jey uso #jimmy & trinity #jimmy uso #ro & kandice #roman reigns #parental paragraphs

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whateverisbeautiful · 6 years

Text

Reveling in Richonne

122: The I Love You’s (8x14)

First of all…

I have so been looking forward to breaking down this solid gold moment right here. Cuz y’all, it’s everything. 🙌🏾 So you already know I have to happy dance in advance lol.

Wait it’s still not out of my system. 😋

(Side note: I’m already extra when it comes to even their smallest moments so this is about to be extra x10. So thank you for putting up with me lol 🙏🏽😂 And this post is particularly long (cuz of course), so I’ll spare your TL with this one 👌🏽😊)

Lemme tell you, every time I see or even just remember this moment I cannot help but react to it with the same high energy I had when I first saw it. This moment gives me complete and utter joy and it also really moves me, so this will always be me when it comes to this scene…

Cuz y’all...they said it!! 🎉Won’t He Do It! Yes He Will! All the time! Forever and Ever! Amen. 🙌🏾😌🙌🏾😌

And I love that while it was a big celebratory moment for us, it was such a normal thing for them. All the way here for it. 👌🏽😊

It’s funny cuz I generally avoid spoilers but, the week before, I had been hearing murmerings that 8x14 might be the episode where they say it, and just the mere notion of that had me turning up. So literally the whole episode I was just waiting and watching like...

Cuz ever since I boarded this ship the thought of what those “I love you’s” would be like and when they would come was on my mind often. And we finally got to see it! And of course Danai and Andy knocked it out of the park. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

But first, to back track just a little bit, in the few moments prior we see Carol open up to Ezekiel about her daughter.

(Side note: I wish Carol and Michonne would talk more. They’re different in a lot of ways but also have a lot of similarities too. Like in Carol’s conversation with Ezekiel she shares about how these people helped her find a better version of herself and that’s the case for Michonne as well.👌🏽)

The main reason I bring up this moment tho, is because, when they cut to the wider shot, Carol and Ezekiel are holding hands which is sweet, and what I love most about it is that you can see Michonne sitting in the background, almost center with the hand hold. And y’all that’s not a coincidence. 💯

How did Richonne’s romantic relationship start? With a glorious hand hold. 🙌🏾😋 And it’s cool that we get some parallel to R&M’s 6x10 moment in the same episode that we get to witness another long awaited exchange. 😊 (And this also sort of suggests that Carol and Ezekiel might be joining the couples club that I think only Rick and Michonne are in rn.)

But seeing Michonne sitting alone made me kind of sad too cuz it makes me think about how she would totally be spending that time with Carl if he was there (or Rick if he wasn’t out wildin 🙃)

So they hear the gate open and then Michonne springs up cuz she knows her man has come home, which is probably a big relief for her, knowing his recent inclinations to leave and get himself in serious predicaments.

My favorite thing about seeing Michonne spring up like this is cuz, as many have pointed out, it’s so reminiscent to when Rick heard her arriving at the gate in the season 4 premiere. Y’all their magnetic connection is still going strong all these seasons. 😊

So then Rick and Morgan walk in looking like two bad kids who can solemnly swear they’ve been up to no good. 😂

And when Michonne sees him, she has a look that says she’s both relieved and also that she can tell her man has likely spent the day wildin all the way out.

Morgan walks up to Henry and tells him he was able to kill the Savior who killed his brother. And rather than relish the vengeance, Henry actually expresses sympathy that Morgan had to kill again and he tells him sorry.

And then I get hit hard upon hearing Morgan tell Henry “Don’t ever be sorry” cuz it’s exactly what Morgan told Carl back in “Clear.” 😭

I’m always here for a “Clear” reference in this show even tho it’s also a heartbreaking reminder that Carl isn’t there anymore. (And I hope this show knows that in no way will Henry be a legitimate replacement, so TWD don’t try to make fetch happen. Just saying.)

So while that’s going on, Rick is walking towards the main house and people are looking at him cuz Homeboy def looks like he’s been suspect. And he’s just sort of looking right back at people like “Say something, I dare you.” 😅

One person he doesn’t look at tho is Michonne and y’all I admit I was not feeling that. I was like; Rick don’t you walk past your girl without acknowledging her in some way. Like I know he’s in a daze and probably feeling guilty but at least nod or something bruh, especially after likely making her stressed all day about where he went.

As he walks away, Michonne watches him go and they emphasize her having this look.

Seeing this reaction from her briefly made me worried that maybe this show was heading towards another moment of distance between them or even disappointment cuz tbh Michonne wouldn’t be out of line if she did feel a little disappointed. So at first, when it came to where they stand, I was like…

But the thing is, Sis is so understanding and the epitome of a great wife so any worry that maybe this was going to cause an issue between them was quickly dispelled in the final scene of the episode.

So now onto the scene that has kept me on cloud nine for months. ☺️Lol. Lemme get prepared.

The scene starts with Rick walking into their room seeming freshly showered, and I love that there seems to be this comfortability with him returning to him and his woman’s room. Like I think they have him enter the scene this way to hit home that this is Rick at the most settled he’s been in a while.

And it’s significant to see him putting on a clean white tee cuz it really does feel like it’s meant to imply a clean slate as well as the lighter side he’s coming back to. He’s leaning into the good again, (now that he’s gotten some of the savagery out of his system lol)

Also I love that there’s this candlelight glow that’s totally paralleling the precious candlelit dinner proposal scene in 7x12. 🙌🏾 I think having that similar glow going just helps to set the tone that he’s more in that 7x12 headspace again, rather than the headspace we saw in the dive bar.

We then see Rick have a visible moment where he knows this is the time to open his letter, like his North Star told him to in this very room earlier in the episode. Everything that’s happened today has shown him that now is the time to stop running. So he goes to the drawer and takes out the letter.

So then, Michonne walks in and stops at the doorway and this whole moment is super similar to the scene earlier. Cuz just like Rick walked in and found Michonne holding her letter near the dresser, Michonne walks in to find Rick holding his letter in the same spot.

Their reactions are different tho cuz where Rick saw her holding the letter and felt a sense of fear and anxiety, Michonne sees him holding the letter and you can tell there’s a sense of relief.

Like she definitely seems a little surprised too with finding Rick right there with the letter, but also happy that whatever he did outside the walls led to the letter and not more suppressing or running from coping.

So the first thing Rick says is “Thank you.” And Rick is a real one for knowing he needs to thank her. And I love how Rick so often says thank you to Michonne in this series cuz Homeboy knows he’s with a queen and he’s grateful. 😊

Now, you know my extra self had to really reflect on what each line of dialogue meant in this scene, and to me Rick’s thank you was for her getting him to see the light slowly but surely, and for fighting for Carl and for himself, for being by his side this whole time, for loving him, and sharing with him, and for everything she is. 👌🏽😊

It was also thanking her for being patient as he took a little detour to where she knew he needed to be. But I think most of all, at the root, this is Rick telling her thank you for not giving up on me. 💯

I love how it’s so visible that a weight is taken off Michonne when he says this cuz it lets her know that he’s in a much better clearer space than before. She was carrying so much for the both of them, to the point that I was like Sis is overdue for a shoulder to cry on, but in hearing and seeing Rick like this, some of that load on her is lightened.

What I adore most about this moment is the way they both take this deep breath when he says this. They are legitimately one and so in sync. 😍🙌🏾

In seeing that Rick is in a clearer headspace she knows they’re making some progress and it’s a relief that he’s more present and stable cuz again, if he’s okay she’s okay and you see that in the synchronicity of their body language.

They both seem to just loosen up due to knowing/sensing that they’re a little more centered than earlier. It’s not that all their external problems are gone, but they’re centered with one another, which is enough to make them feel a lot better. 💯

I love that seeing he’s okay means the world to Michonne and in both of them taking this breath it reminds me of the moment in This Is Us where they all take a deep breath to take a step towards releasing the pain of their loss. As TIU said, when you don’t deal with your grief it’s like your holding your breath, so it’s big for R&M to be able to take this breath together.

The next thing he tells her is “I’m sorry” and I was very proud of Rick for telling her that.

Like hearing him apologize had me like…

And to me, the sorry was for the way he’s been running from her and the pain, for not being there for her the way she’s been there for him, for leaving and putting himself in harms way, and doing the opposite of what she and Carl wanted, for letting irrational Rick dictate his actions and not the Rick that knows to listen to her, and for distancing himself when he knows that’s not the way they are meant to be.

Rick knows he owes her better cuz in all this grief he has every right to wrestle with it but again, when it comes to Michonne he also has every responsibility to be there for her too, for so many reasons.

To name one, he wanted her in season four to continue this bond with Carl and she did and they became best friends so she opened her heart so fully to Carl and raised him with Rick, so Rick knows that as the husband he has to walk with her in this, and he’s apologizing for not doing that fully.

But Michonne stays out here teaching how to be a great wife cuz with so much love and compassion she tells him “You don’t have to be.”

I love this. 👏🏽😊 Cuz it’s not that she’s just passively letting Rick slide, she just understands that since they can’t reverse the past, all they can do is move forward, learn from it, and be better. And this is her way of showing she’s still here for him and they can be better together.

And I feel like in her telling him he doesn’t have to be sorry it’s not just her saying you don’t have to be sorry for what you did (cuz y’all Michonne and Rick are cut from the same cloth so she can understand what he did cuz she’s capable of going ham on the Saviors like that too) but it’s also saying you don’t have to be in a sorry state forever.

I appreciate that she chooses not to linger on this or reprimand him and make this cause a wedge. Also probably part of why she feels he doesn’t have to be sorry is because she knows his grieving journey has finally led him to the letter, which is where the healing process will begin.

She wants him to know he doesn’t have to be sorry for his grieving process cuz she knows this specific process very well considering she’s experienced it twice now. I love that she understands him so fully and so deeply and more than anyone else I think Rick has ever come across. 🙏🏽😊

Cuz low key someone who wasn’t his soul mate might not have had a response like “You don’t have to be” when he apologizes but more like “you better be”, but Rick’s got himself the best of the best who supports him through literally thick and thin. 👏🏽👸🏾

Rick seems to often be waiting for someone to tear him down or doubt him or be disappointed in him (probably cuz of his past) but she never does. 🙌🏾

Michonne always uplifts him and this moment was yet another way of saying “I’m still with you” and you know Sis always means it. 😌

So after she tells him this, Rick faces her and finally really looks at her with clear eyes again and it makes all the difference. He’s got himself the best wife and he knows it. Cuz she’s so compassionate and understanding and just genuinely wants the best for him without judgment. At the same time she’s not passive and naïve, she knows what’s up but she always chooses to see the man over the mistakes. #RealLove 👌🏽

And then comes the words we’ve been waiting for. Cuz Rick turns and faces Michonne and with the sweetest sincerity says, “I love you.”

Every. Last. Thing.

That “I love you” was a reminder and a promise that, as much as his whole world has changed, his love for her hasn’t. It’s still there and going strong. 💕

I appreciate that he turns to face her more head on when he says this cuz he wants it to be crystal clear that he means this. We’ve seen that when he’s not being totally honest he can’t really look at people, but here he looks right in her eyes cuz this is the 100% truth. 💯😊

I said in the last post how I was nervous that because this episode tried to make Rick’s word seem like it was questionable that they’d want this scene to be interpreted as questioning if Rick’s words are sincere or just manipulative, but all you have to do is see his face to know he’s serious.

He’s looking at her the way he looks at her when he’s in his right mind, which is like she’s his sun, moon, and stars. ☺️

And y’all, when he says this it came out so effortlessly that I had to pause cuz it was so clear that not only was this not the first time he’s said this but it was very clear that Homeboy has told her plenty of many of times. 👏🏽😊

Before this episode, I was thinking they’ve said it before but of course Andrew Lincoln found a way to deliver this line in a way where it sounds like this is something Rick says all the time. 😋

But it still feels really special and significant this time, because while I feel this totally isn’t their first, second, or even tenth time exchanging “I love you’s”, I think this may be their first time saying it since losing Carl, which is why it’s so meaningful and a milestone, cuz it’s showing they’re back to telling each other what’s always been true.

And after seeing this so many times, I’ve come to like the sort of melodic way he says it cuz there’s something so tender about it.

Also it’s sweet that he nods when he says it cuz this isn’t meant to be angsty, it’s supposed to be more like he’s saying; “you know that thing I tell you all the time? It’s still true” And it never stopped being true, he’s just now in a healthy spot to tell her again. 😌👌🏽

And once he says that, Michonne then completes this perfection by telling him, “I love you too”

And I gotta happy dance one more again.

But for real, her delivery of that line was beautiful. 😭 It was so sincere and meaningful while also sounding comfortable and certain.

And there’s definitely something emotional in her delivery because they’re expressing this sentiment post-Carl, but there’s also such a sense that this is so normal and natural for them.

Danai is so good at communicating so much in just a facial expression but also in just a tone of voice like this moment here. 👸🏾

And I love that Michonne got to say I love you to both Carl and Rick in 8B. They’re family. 😭💕

Now as I was first taking this all in, I was like why didn’t they show Michonne’s face as she said that (cuz y’all my extra self would have wanted a split screen so I could see both of their every move in real time lol 😂)

But what works about doing it this way is that it just goes to show that those three words are so normal for her to hear and say that it didn’t need this reveal of her reaction. She said it like she means it and like she knows he means it too cuz he’s said it fourteen thousand times before. 😋

And Richonne tones for the win, y’all. Like the way they speak to each other is always so loving and genuine and melts my heart. 🙌🏾

I actually have live footage of my heart when I heard them exchange I love you’s:

Lol so if my heart turned into Simone Biles, and I’ve only been waiting like two years for this, I can only imagine how gratifying this moment must’ve been for those that had been waiting for this since season 3 and 4.

Like y’all have been going strong for this couple for years and that allowed people like me to jump on board down the line to see what’s always been there between them. So I was celebrating not just for me but for y’all who believed this day would come as early as the moment R&M laid eyes on each other. 😊 And y’all were so right. Won’t He Do It! 🙌 🏾😋

And I love that this moment had so many of us like...

So while I still would have loved to see Michonne’s reaction, I do love that we get to see Rick’s reaction to her.

Rick nods when she tells him, cuz she’s told him this plenty of many of times too. Amen. 🙌🏾☺️

And y’all I already adored this scene and watched it a ton of times lol, but I never noticed, until I saw it pointed out recently, that Rick actually subtly sheds a tear when she tells him she loves him.

And seeing that has me even more emotional than I already was. 😭

It makes this moment even more moving because even tho these “I love you’s” are not some new profession for them, it still means the world to them. 😊

And I think for Rick to hear his woman so genuinely express that she loves him too, it moves him in this way because he’s reminded yet again that he still has extremely valuable love left in his life.

After losing Carl, he’d been convincing himself that he’s a failure. But Michonne is here and showing him that he’s still loved, and seen, and cared about, and forgiven, and believed in, and that hits home for Rick and makes him really grateful. 😊

Y’all we really are so blessed that this relationship is in such capable hands with these actors. They’re so skilled at making these moments feel so authentic and personal because they’re characters are so lived in and it really does feel like we’re getting just a peek into the deep closeness and intimacy R&M have in everyday life. It makes you feel like it’s too personal to have an audience almost, but it’s perfect. 😌👌🏽

Like every night since 6x10, R&M get ready to go to bed in a room they share and this is how they talk, except more weighted this time given the circumstances.

I appreciate that they’re also so in tune with the characters so they knew to play this moment as meaningful but also casual because it’s a sentiment often expressed between them. They don’t just know they love each other, they clearly tell each other often too. ☺️

8x01, 7x16, 7x12, 7x10, 7x09, 7x08, 7x05, 7x04, 6x11, and even as early as the day they went canon in 6x10; those are all the episodes where I love you’s could totally have been exchanged. Here for it. 😋

And y’all I have to have my reoccurring epiphany that this is Rick and Michonne. The Rick and Michonne that met at that fence, and constantly found themselves staring each other down when they were just strangers in season 3.

The Rick and Michonne who were glad to see each other at the gate in season 4. The Rick and Michonne who knew the rules had changed for them in season 5. The Rick and Michonne who just needed a pair of mints to finally embrace the fact that they were in love in season 6. And now we’re here. It’s a blessing. 🙌🏾🎉

I love thinking about any Richonne scene prior, especially pre-canon, and then thinking about this glorious “I love you” scene following it. Cuz y’all these two have been expressing “I love you’s” to each other in so many different ways for the longest. And it’s just so great to get crystal clear undeniable confirmation that their journey, starting way back in season, 3 was about these two falling in love and now being this strong couple in love. 🙌🏾😌

My favorite is thinking about their moment in the season three finale which parallels this one. In both scenes Rick apologizes and she’s understanding, but in s3 he tells her that it “must’ve been something else” that led him to bring her in. And now in s8 we can pretty much confirm that the “something else” was cuz Homeboy was falling in love. 🙌🏾🎉

Y’all there’s just no denying that what these two have is the real deal. It’s crazy tho cuz even now, with the literal ILYs having been said, there’s people who still completely overlook their relationship or “don’t see the chemistry” or don’t get that Michonne and Rick are a soul mate package deal relationship, which just confirms that…

And again, I acknowledge that everyone absolutely has a right to their opinion on it. 👌🏽 But imho, if people can’t see that Rick and Michonne’s relationship is a soul mate relationship now, then it’s cuz they don’t want to see it since in every scene Rick and Michonne are in the “I love you” is evident.

Whether it’s in action or in different words, and now in those exact special three words. They are in love. And they are going to stay in love til the end. 💯

So to the people who specifically hate on them, I low key feel like this scene was also a way to say…

But regardless of who’s on board, Richonne only gets stronger and stronger and better and better, so it’s all good.

And y’all the scene doesn’t just end with the I love you’s! There’s more gold to witness. 🙌🏾

Cuz after they share these wonderful words, Michonne goes to Rick and reaches for him cuz he can finally receive it, in fact he needs that.

The way he looks down before she walks over, I feel like Rick doesn’t think she’s about to kiss him, probably cuz he still doesn’t think he deserves that.

But again, Michonne quiets those doubts in him and gives him the love and connection they both need and y’all it’s beyond precious. 🙌🏾

Like this reminded me of one of Richonne’s most life-giving moments with the Kiss of Life in 7x05, in the way Michonne reaches for him and reminds him why he’s got a bomb ride or die wife. 👸🏾

I love that they’re able to share this kiss and just be completely enraptured in this moment. And you can tell they’ve both been wanting to connect this way for a while. 😊

And that mirror showing us all the angles. 👌🏽That mirror is a Richonner and I’m here for it. 😋

And then the looks they share tho…like y’all this love goes deep. ☺️And it’s great how Richonne can’t help but do everything passionately when they’re with each other. 👏🏽

And then the forehead touch, making them like a perfect heart, is such a beautiful establishment of the strong unit they are and the way they lean on each other and are magnetically connected. This right here is unbreakable. 😌💯

To see them both just be fully locked into this moment and not fight the connection their meant to have is so refreshing. 🙌🏾😊 #magnets

And seeing them in front of this whole mirror is def meant to contrast the broken mirror Rick was in at the bar. In the broken mirror he was alone and troubled, but here he is focused and with the woman that’s his rock so he’s much more whole.

Even during their distance in 8x13, I knew we wouldn’t have to wait long until they were back in each other’s arms, and just an episode later they’re right back where they’re meant to be. 👌🏽

So then, still so close and connected, they both look over at this letter and it’s kind of like these two are looking at Carl in a way.

And it’s deep cuz Carl really was their North Star and such a driving force for these two as individuals. But he still is their North Star because he helped to give them each other, which is how they are able to get through this. 😭

Rick lifts the letter to imply he’s ready to take her words to heart and read it. And Michonne walks away cuz she wants to allow him time to fully take this in on his own.

Before leaving, she looks at him in a way that says; alright it’s time to take this leap, no more running and once you jump I’ll be right there with you. 👌🏽😊

And having gotten his strength from his everything, he’s able to sit and finally let Carl speak to him one last time, cuz I think part of him knows now that Carl won’t end with that letter.

Like Glenn said; the dead live on in the living. So Carl lives on in Judith and in him and in the woman he’s in love with especially, Michonne. So long as they have each other and love each other, they’ll never lose Carl. 😌

Before Rick reads the letter, he looks up and it’s like he’s trying to look up towards Carl cuz now the roles are switched and Rick has to look up to his son.

This episode concludes with Rick reading the letter and emotionally taking in the words. It’s clear this whole scene is not to suggest that Rick is continuing to be jaded, but to show he’s rising above that unhealthy space.

He’s open to the letter, he’s opening up to Michonne again and focusing on what he loves over what he hates, cuz real Rick is returning.

Y’all love covers a multitude of sins and, while TWD does not get a pass for all the baffling dumb decisions made this season, those “I love you’s” def sustained me for a good while lol.

That day was Easter, it was I Love You’s, it was a good celebratory day.👌🏽😊

And this special moment between Rick and Michonne was such a beautiful way to end the episode, having that moment be the final thing. It just goes to show how Richonne only get stronger and closer through adversity. They endure things that should break them, but together they’re stronger than all of it and they always find their way back to each other.

So I truly adore this scene for giving us the golden “I love you’s” and for showing us how lovingly and authentically they’ve found their way back to each other after the hardest adversity yet. And as long as they have each other they’ll thrive, because they are really and truly soul mates. 💯☺️

Rick and Michonne need each other, y’all. And they’re perfect together. And most importantly, they love each other.👌🏽😌🎉🙌🏾

gif sources: michonnegrimes gekari danaigurirasource spideyys andy-clutterbuck supagirl ricksmichonne

#richonne #richonne family #richonne fandom #michonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #s8 #8.14 #ILY"s!!!!!#at last #Won't He Do it #Yes He Will #thank you so much for reading!#Reveling/Rejoicing in Richonne

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luffyasksandanswers · 5 years

Note

// “hi, I’m not from the US” ask set ALL OF THEM YOU COWARD. ALL OF THEM. YOU REBLOGGED THAT MEME NOW COMMIT. GIVE ME MY STALKER KNOWLEDGE. GIMME. OR MEET ME IN THE PIT.

“hi, i’m not from the us” meme - @fearllacy //Bruh, you curious George xD! But dare is a dare and me not want to the coconut pit D: so here we go!

1. favourite place in your country?

Summer cottage, a place to escape the hectic city life *thumbs up*

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad?

Toss me with a shoe because of my unecological thinking but I do like to see new places and cultures so whenever there is a chance, I try to travel abroad.

3. does your country have access to sea?

We are the land of thousand lakes buuut we also have sea around us, a lot in the south! so we can escape to Estonia xD

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Praised Karelian Pasty and Kalakukko here! otherwise our food is pretty much either stolen from Sweden or colorless/tasteless xD

5. favourite song in your native language?

Me revealed some of them hier :>

6. most hated song in your native language?

Spent the yesterday browsing around Youtube xD and results are täällä

7. three words from your native language that you like the most?

Wow, this is a thing I’ve never thought about it so this should be something to be asked from my mates because they know better which words I repeat nonstop *laughs* Hey, how about teaching you fellow buddies a few Finnish words?

- Juoksentelisinkohan? (=I wonder if I should run around aimlessly?)Never heard anyone say this but I think it’s very amusing word in general xD

- Lohikäärme = dragon Simply put so but if you write “lohi” and “käärme” separated, you get salmon and snake. In other words the translation could also be salmonsnake,kinda makes sense, kinda doesn’t *laughs*

- Pöpelikkö

= ThicketRarely used word for a forest/growth that is hard to walk through, maybe in spoken language means more like “in middle of nowhere” or at least that’s how I use that word ::D

Bonus: lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilasThe longest officially approved finnish word monster. In english it would beAeroplaneshowerturbinemotorhelpmechanicnoncommissionedofficerstudent.

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom?

I probably told this before but I’m not a bloodline finn, my biological roots are in China (but I’ve spent practically my whole life here so my soul is very suomi perkele saunaan ja torille xD). As imaginable, this causes awkward situations because people get misunderstood or assume things right away but well whoopsies happpen as long as no one makes a number about it, it’s all ok ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best?

Revealed #lifegoals här!

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language?

Maybe the most heard sweard word is the finnish version of F-word [x]Frankly spoken I don’t like or use it because it’s like the C-word and dunno, sounds weird when people love to repeat loudly a word that literally means woman’s genitals :D Nah my favorite swearword is “Perkele” because when you are angry you can feel the power in the R-letter. But I actually use “Helvetti” (=hell) the most, no idea how it happened but anyway, if it’s not “PERRRKELE” then it’s “EI HELVETTI” *laughs* last time I swear like mad was when I had to assemble a furniture at work xD

11. favourite native writer/poet?

Tove Jansson adoration here :>

12. what do you think about English translations

I have to admit I’m not familiar with translated literacy D: wait no I lied! I’ve read 2 Moomin books in english but don’t remember paying attention to the translation, only thing that was confusing first was the names in english because there wasn’t any expalanations to the names of the (random) side characters xD

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

We finns love icy waters but we have another tradition that is a dank meme. I mean TORILLE!! which basically means finns rush to the local market places if we win hockey championships or are good in any other sports. I think it’s a global jokebut yeah finns are trash for getting national recognision. Just mention us anywhere outside the borders and transmit that info to Finland and you can hear and see people hyping it like mad and I am not sure if other countries do this too in such extreme ways xD

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV?

One thing that makes watching the finnish tv boring is that they literallt recycle the celebrities which means same faces in almost every fame teledrama or shows and practically everywhere you go or channel surf, you’ll see them and then even tabloids need to write nonstop about their slighest moves. It is good to be ecological but if there is an actor that needs to shove their face everywhere no matter what and they try to keep their fame in every way, it just doesn’t work plus this might be stereotyping but in those “finnish versions” of big shows, finns are somewhat stiff and don’t go like “yeehaw WOHOO \o/” the same way like in the original shows so it sometimes looks like they try too hard to be like the original or they are just “forced” to be superhyper.

Another reason I don’t watch much finnish series is that the articulating is bad or then there is something wrong with the audio or it’s just my bad hearing but the actors tend to speak very very quietly so you have to put volume on if you want to hear anything on the telly and then your ears get rekt and wasted because when the commercials (which are louder than the normal speech) comes, the sound is even louder [x] just like when you open your computer and forgot the volume is at maximum and whe Windows start music suddenly appears.

I bet there are good finnish movies too that are high quality and I personally enjoy the game shows (quiz like thingies) but in general, nah :p 15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

Another thing outsiders maybe don’t understand but finns love to queue and freebies and an ultimate example is that usually if a new shop opens up, people can start to queue a long before the grand opening. Funniest thing is that free buckets are the most queued thing and why not because they are useful xD

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with?

Maybe my favorite finnish stereotype is that finns love personal space [x] It is a national joke that if there is a bus stop, finns don’t stand next to each other (well in the capital and big cities maybe) but they have at least 2 meters distance xD

17. are you interested in your country’s history?

Frankly spoken nah, I mean I liked to hear my grandparents’ stories about the life when they were younger and how my both grandfathers had to see the wars but in general nah, because well we’ve been owned by Swedes and Russians and had a civil war.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

I’m originally from the Eastern Finland that has its dialect and people distinguish it easily. Especially now that I’ve lived outside my hometown during studies and work, people tell that they hear strong dialect although I only use it in the person pronouns *eyes emoji*

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem?

Blue is a nice color so thumbs up for that! Well can’t say I’m a fanatic finn but of course it sounds nice to hear the anthem on telly [x]

20. which sport is The Sport in your country?

Hockey is probably where Finland is the most successful but we also like football (duh, everyone likes) but we suck at that so bye FIFA dreams xD you know about that Phil because I ranted about it last summer XD

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

SALMIAKKI and that free bucket *laughs*

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed?

There are many things very well in Finland, like everyone gets a free basic education and natural disasters such as earthquakes are very rare so it’s quite safe.

What am I ashamed of? Well frankly spoken we are way too soft on criminals in my opinion so our country should fix the law system so that the criminals would get rougher and longer punishments for rough crimes.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country?

I think beers, wines and long drinks are in now?

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country?

Sweden! It’s a common joke that we are so jealous of Swedes being better people and succeeding in everything and of course in our jokes swedes are the dummies. I think Scandinavian countries do that about each other like Finland vs Sweden, Iceland vs Denmark and Sweden vs Norway *laughs*

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country?

But I am born in another country xD Nah no, I wouldn’t change a thingblue eyes would be cool but finns tend to burn in the sun and I enjoy the summer I’m happy like this :p 26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

The latest news about Finland in American media must’ve been that when Trump misunderstood the forest defense thing and said something like Finns are so diligent they rake their forest floors [x] but the truth is that we don’t because our climate is different. Of course we have forest fires too but they are much much smaller than in California.

27. favourite national celebrity?

I fangirled Antti holma here, he handsome, he funny, he has a podcast :>

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites?I think a couple of mountains exsist [x] but more rivers and thousands of lakes! I like the lakes, since I’ve spent most of my summers at our summer cottage near the lake. Actually never been in the north but I’d love to go on a roadtrip someday to see them!

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

We beat Sweden and Russia so no one shall mess with our smol country! :p

Fun fact: There is a guy named Simo Häyhä, a sniper who is said to be killed more than 505 men during the 1939–40 Winter War [x]

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family?

We have a multicultural family tree, relatives from France, Germany, Sweden, Japan and so on :)!

#reply #thanks #fearllacy #shishishi ! (meme/ask reply)#captain went elsewhere ! (OOC)#mun things (personal)#//YOU VERY WELCOME ME TACKLED LE DARE!!!#long post #lel got carried away whoopsie xD #It's already midnight so brain and writing might be potato so I'll fix this up tomorrow if needed xD

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indeego · 3 years

Text

Vent #1

I go to a school where our suites have 2 rooms, 2 people each (usually 3 in one room, but then covid happened). So my roommate, the one I actually share a space with, is sometimes hard to deal with.

We had to take a little personality quiz to be matched with someone, like how messy are you, are you a night owl, etc etc. I think I’m kind of half and half with neatness. I’m not perfect, but I usually leave my messes out of sight/under the bed if I have them. Well, when I met my roommate I thought they would be similar, but no. They flat out told me they lied on the form because they were embarrassed to admit how messy they were or something. Like, bruh. No one is using that to judge you, they’re using it to match you with a good roommate to live with, i.e. someone else who’s messy and won’t mind living in it. It’s all on their side which is good, but there’s so much old food wrappers and cans, and one time a whole ass pizza sat in our room for 3 days. They never do their chores (but to be fair, I’m not so great at keeping up with mine either), never takes out the trash in our bathroom, never replaces the toilet roll, uses a shit ton of said toilet paper as well as q-tips, and I pay to replace all of them. They even told me to my face that they are never gonna take out the garbage from our bathroom, and that if he tried to help with the main room garbage they’d throw up. Me too bitch, I nearly throw up doing it cause we’re all nasty but it has to be done!! Smaller detail but they also use a shit ton of ketchup and most of it gets wasted and thrown away and like fdjklfdsjfskld just make a smaller pile and get more if you need it it’s not that hard. They also planned bringing their dog here at some point this year without consulting me at all, and expects us all to help out with her. They even said “so picking up dog poop makes me wanna puke” and then looked at me all expectantly like I was gonna let out and clean up after THEIR DOG. I straight up had to say I wasn’t gonna pick up their dog’s shit. I can’t take her for walks, I can’t play with her, I’m too busy trying to hold myself together and keep up with school work. I got so stressed out last semester with finals, we all did, and you want to add a dog on top of that??? Another small detail, they are constantly using nasal spray. I get it, you gotta use it to breathe sometimes, but I have never once seen them blow their nose. Not once in the many months of living with them. Just the constant sniffle sniffle sniff sniff sniffle sniffle I’m gonna SCREAM! JUST BLOW YOUR NOSE!!!! Honestly I’m kinda pissed that I could have gotten a different roommate.

Now, part of the lack of motivation with chores and stuff is because they have a lot of mental health issues. Severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, suicidal tendencies, etc. They mentioned to me that they had been in psych wards before for this it got so bad. Now I myself have definitely had a history with poor mental health. It was bad for a really long time, I even got close to a suicide attempt once. I hated myself in every possible aspect, but now I’m finally starting to love myself. I’ve made definite progress, even if it’s not perfect, and I’m really proud of myself for that. But part of that is I stopped making depressing and self deprecating jokes, and turned to more positive ones. I stopped saying I was stupid or garbage or whatever, now I’m like “I’m cool and sexy and powerful actually” and it’s been great. My roommate however, is still in that headspace of self deprecation and self hate and I think it’s starting to rub off on me. I’ve caught myself saying I was stupid more than a few times, and generally my mood has gotten worse over this school year. And just the other week, my roommates depression meds ran out, and Walgreens wouldn’t give them a refill (Walgreens in general has been so shitty to this whole household lately like fuck you Walgreens). This meant they had to go cold turkey for 5 days, and slowly they got more moody and upset and depressed (also tangent, I know they have phone anxiety but that can’t be a catch all excuse all the time. They never call before their prescription runs out, and that’s why they have to go days without it. Then they go through a whole spiral for like a week and I’m just thinking “what did you expect to happen, that more drugs would just instantly appear?” I have anxiety about phone calls too, that’s why I have to write a script out before I do certain phone calls, maybe try that). They were constantly saying that they wanted to die, and all I could offer was a “please don’t do that” and suggest taking a shower, drinking some water, or eating a proper meal. It got so bad that they woke me up in the afternoon saying I needed to drive with them to the hospital because their therapist said it was that, or he’d call the cops to escort them. I spent my entire afternoon at a hospital with them, feeling very uncomfortable with the situation. I now have the job of locking their pills and sharp objects in my nightstand drawer so they don’t kill themselves. I feel like I’m the only thing keeping them from committing suicide, and I already got a lot of trauma from that with my mom, I don’t want history repeating itself with my roommate. I don’t want to fear that I’ll wake up and find their corpse, or that I’ll hear them overdosing from the room over and have to call an ambulance. I thought things would get better after the hospital gave them a month refill of their meds, but things still aren’t improving. They keep saying “what if I just killed myself,” “what if I just die,” “what if I just jump out the window,” “I wanna kill myself” and it makes me so feel so uncomfortable and bad, like if I say the wrong thing I’ll set them off or be responsible for making their mood worsen. I know they can’t control that their brain doesn’t produce what it needs to, but I don’t want to be responsible for them and their life. But I have to pretend to be ok with all of this because they don’t have any other option.

Related to that, they also mentioned how they’ve never really had any real friends before (in person at least), and that it’s been really nice to have the rest of us with them and not hate them. But I sometimes don’t enjoy living with them at all. They’ve told me how they had a poor childhood with no friends, and they feel like all their friends eventually stop talking to them and leave them, and it makes me feel guilty for wanting to do the same thing. They think it means they’re too annoying to deal with (which I mean they’re annoying sometimes but I can deal for now), but I feel like it’s more because they’re kind of a huge ball of negativity and sudden mood swings. I’d feel bad just totally ditching them, but I honestly don’t think it’s good for my mental health to be dealing with them and living with them.

Something else is that they are really into Critical Role. Like, mega obsessed with it. I understand it’s probably a hyperfixation and a comfort show, but they’re so invested that when something bad happens in the show it really impacts their mood. Like, they got genuinely really angry and slammed the door of our room when a character almost died. They lay on the floor for nearly 20 minutes after an episode when something bad happens. They also scream so goddamn loud. They’re in our room with the door closed but that does nothing to muffle the sound. So many loud yells and screams and shouting it makes me want to punch a wall. And the fact that the show goes until midnight or later so our room is just occupied until then. Sometimes I want to go to sleep at a decent hour, or I’m just tired, but I don’t want to make them go into the main room because then ALL of us will hear them and no one wins. They also have put so much of their mental wellbeing on if Liam O’Brien likes their fanart or not. They have said “if Liam doesn’t like this fanart I’m gonna kill myself” like, he’s a busy real life adult man who doesn’t have time to sift through every piece of fanart that comes his way. Sure it might happen, but if it doesn’t then tough luck, you gotta move on. You can’t hinge your entire mental wellbeing on a stranger giving you a like on twitter.

I know that a good option for me would probably be to request a new roommate or something, but I don’t know how that would work. I really like the other two, even if I also have small things I dislike, it’s nothing like this level. I don’t know, if anyone out there sees this and has some advice I’d appreciate it.

#tldr: living with my roommate sucks for a multitude of reasons and I don't know if I should talk with them or move out or what #cw vent #tw vent #cw suicide #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #cw suicide mention #tw drugs #cw drugs #I don't know if people mostly use cw or tw so I'm just gonna fill up the tags with both #vent blog #long post #roommate vent

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cuilective · 4 years

Text

Character Sheet: Cav

CW for mentions of violence/death here and there

BASICS

Full name: Cian Amarante Cavanaugh

Nickname(s): Cav

Title(s): n/a, unless ‘old man’ or ‘actual dumpster fire’ count.

Sex: Male

Gender: Male

Height: 6′6″

Age: Chronologically? Heck, bruh. Thousands of years old in any given verse. Physically stuck between late 30′s to mid 40′s which was around the age he was cursed.

Zodiac: shrug emoji

Spoken languages: Most fluent in English, Irish and Scots Gaelic, and French, both modern and some ancient variants. He is approximately conversational in many other languages, though there’s surely languages even he hasn’t encountered yet.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Black, or a very very very dark brown

Skin tone: Has a bit of an olive complexion

Body type: These days he’s rocking a bit of a dad bod. The muscle is there somewhere under a bit of pudge.

Voice: Singing Examples: [1] [2] [3] unfortunately I currently haven’t found a fitting example for his everyday speech, but hopefully this at least gets the general feel across!

Dominant hand: Right

Posture: Relaxed, tends to rest his weight on one side, droopy shoulders and casual lackadaisical gait

Scars: A gash over his heart is one scar he has in common between every verse, along with various battle scars. In his general fantasy verse he has a scar all the way around his neck from his first true ‘death’ by beheading.

Tattoos: None

Birthmarks: None

Most noticeable feature(s): Scruffy, appears a bit unkempt just about at all times. Never seen without his scarf or gloves.

CHILDHOOD

Place of birth: Near what’s now known as Postwick, Galar

Hometown: +gestures vaguely at galar+

Birth weight/height: What an oddly specific question. He was probably a bit of a chonker, above average birth weight. may his mother rest in peace

First words: an adorable attempt at saying rookidee, though it probably just came out as ‘wookie’

Siblings: Adoptive half-brother. He doesn’t know much of anything of his birth family. Some verses he has a twin sister, I should really flesh one of those out bc she’s just as much of a gremlin as he is.

Parents: Unknown and/or deceased. Death by backstory, they deserved better

Parental involvement: He doesn’t remember much before he was adopted, but he was raised with a lot of love and care by just about every set of parents he’s ever had in any verse.

Children: Also depends on the verse, tbh. Haven’t quite figured out how to go about it, hence why it may not be applicable to every verse, but... in theory, he has a daughter. She is a gorgeous eldritch abomination shaped like a lady and he couldn’t be more proud of her

Prominently: Cav was honestly pretty dense. He was happy and friendly and got along with everyone, but mostly just because he had no idea how some people around him didn’t like him. Ignorance is truly bliss

ADULT LIFE

Occupation: Oh, a bit of everything. In modern times he tends to taxi folk around.

Current residence: N/A, travels anywhere and everywhere.

Close friends: What’re thooooooooooooooose

Relationship status: Single in his pokeverse. Married or engaged in just about every other.

Financial status: A bit complicated. He probably has a slew of secret offshore accounts he’s built up over the years. Probably well off, just doesn’t really show it.

Criminal record: Well! He tries not to get caught because it’s terribly hard to explain why he has a record dating back centuries. Thankfully most just believe it to be a coincidence. He’s done so much freaking crime though, almost entirely petty stuff... maybe a bit of grand theft auto if he’s particularly bored. He loves cars. Oh, maybe even a touch of arson if he’s absolutely certain the target is abandoned and no one gets hurt.

Vices: Yes. If going by cardinal sins... sloth? Gluttony? A sadomasochistic blend of lust and wrath? Nothing like purposefully picking fights to get the everloving crap beat out of you to feel something while simultaneously draining the life of your attacker with every bit of direct contact. How thrilling!

SEX & ROMANCE

Sexual orientation: Straight? Probably? Mostly.

Preferred emotional role: submissive | dominant | switch

Preferred sexual role: submissive | dominant | switch | Doesn’t care

Libido: Lowkey. It’s definitely there but he typically just ignores it.

Turn ons: Loves elegant women, the more confident and authoritative the better. Though anyone’s welcome to stab him 28 times in the torso, that’ll definitely get him excited.

Turn offs: Ppl who chew with their mouth open. Close ya damn mouth. Not very into wild hairstyles or extreme body mods. In that aspect he’s a bit like a boring old man.

Love language: He can and will devolve into a lovestruck puppy. He can be a bit clingy, but more than anything he is just... completely and utterly devoted. Very touchy feely, lots of traditionally ‘romantic’ gifts like flowers and whatnot. Or even just little reminders that he’s thinking of his SO, like a brief text or a little sticky note where she’ll see it. Just wants to be with them as much as possible, even if they’re just silently existing in the same room doing their own thing.

Relationship tendencies: Will brag about his SO to anyone who will listen (and even to those who won’t, you can’t stop him). Probably carries 50 pictures of his SO in his wallet and gets choked up just thinking about them. Will take her to restaurants and be like ‘we’re celebrating our anniversary’ any part of the year whether its their anniversary or not and when called out on it he’ll just be like ‘i’m always celebrating us’ and sappy nonsense like that. (though he also absolutely says it for the free desserts a lot of places give out to couples on their anniversary, but that’s just a bonus)

MISCELLANEOUS

Character’s theme song(s): Slaps this playlist down. I honestly can’t just pick one, buuut... I’m particularly liking Burning Alive lately, it’s very fitting for him.

Hobbies to pass time: Ogling cars, writing absurd Yelp reviews for anywhere and everywhere he goes, hoarding pigeons in his coat and offering them to unsuspecting strangers, heckling golfers, heckling comedians, engaging in fisticuffs with geese, going to chinese restaurants to crack open the fortune cookies and only eat the paper fortune inside, general people watching. likes watching movies in the theater. if anyone uses their phone while the movie is going he will snap the phone in half and eat as much of it as he can to prove a point

Mental illnesses: Uh. Well. I mean. Honestly? I have no idea. If you asked him he’d say he’s totally fine.

Physical illnesses: None. Often pretends to be injured or disabled one way or another if it’ll get him something he wants.

Left or right brained: He has 0 braincells

Fears: Heights, small dogs. Not afraid of dragonfruit but deeply offended by its existence as it is nothing but a flamboyant kiwi with no integrity to flavor. On a more serious note, intimacy of any sort with anyone or anything. Falling for someone knowing that he’ll outlive them anyway.

Self-confidence level: Oh it’s up there. Probably. He’s super confident, even if he doesn’t think he’ll succeed that doesn’t mean he won’t try. Unstoppable. Trust me, people have tried 2 stop him and nothing works.

Vulnerabilities: Genuine compliments from cute girls. Genuine compliments from just about anyone. Children. Baby animals. Cute things in general. Bad jokes. Literally any form of intimacy will make him want to aliven’t because he doesn’t deserve it and he might just up and run away in the middle of a conversation if it starts getting genuinely sappy.

#Cav || HC #long post #enjoy my art i drew him as a minion

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silentsnow777 · 7 years

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Team Fortress Oc Trapper

Please feel free to give critisism on this and everything just don’t be mean please. I’m saying this because i already had unpleasant experiences before. I’m just having fun, that’s all.

Name: Ana Jade Katich

Age: 29

Date of birth: 15th of February 1946.

Place of birth: Serbia, NS Language spoken: Serbian - Native English - Fluently German - Beginner Russian - Medium knowledge (only because of Katja)

Gender: Female Body Type: Muscular, especially upper body due to the weight she is carrying. As for her breast size, she is almost flat.

Hair Color/Style:

Dirty blonde, medium lenght, messy and usually has her hair set a stray until she is scolded by her teamates to tie it up.

Eye Color: Jade green, that's where the middle name came. :3

Height: 5'9'' or 179.83 cm

Weight: 71 kg

Sexuality: Straight

Team: Red

Class Name:

The Trapper (aaaa idk help me out on this one!) /the point is, her class is related to setting up all sorts of traps, slowing down the enemy wip/

Offensive/Defense/Support or other:

Defensive

Scars or Birthmarks: In the '

Military Academy' at one of the exercises her right cheek was almost cut open. After that her injury was sewen up badly by an amateur 'Medic' (her c

olleague) and it healed up leaving an 'ugly scar' ,as Ana would explain the patch on her cheek. Other than that, just basic small scars on her body.

Tattoos: None

Personality: Very curious, asks too much question if i may add. Annoying at times. Ana is o

ptimistic, persistent and adventurous person. But at the same time also sneaky, sarcastic at times, inpatient and self-centered in some of the situations. But she tries to avoid it.

Disabilities: Memory loss caused by a strong hit in the head

Likes: Destruction, action, challange, of course besides loving destruction she enjoys sitting in peaceful surroundings reading a book or something.

Phobias: Hydrophobia (let's just say she left that out when she was writing her resume, and none of her colleagues know that <-<) /and yes i am aware that maps have ponds in them but that is another story/

Dislikes: Being treated unequally, lying, being wrong, not getting what she wants

Fears:

For the reason unknown to her, she has a fear of doctors. Also that annoys the shit out of Medic since she never shows up on her checkups and rarely calls him to heal her on the battlefield. Spiders and anny long legged creature. Also water, duh.

Some special items and weapons (i don't know what i tried to do here, i'm trying to be creative :T WIP): Jar of glue (to slow down the enemies) Wires connecter to the explosives (yes, i know demoman has similar thing just without wires but this is what i got for now) Bear traps More coming when i get inspiration :T

Pets: She used to have a dog. A female Dachshund to be exact called Masha. But the dog is decesed since Ana was 14. (i gave her my beloved dog T-T, i miss you Masha aaaa)

Family: Mother Katarina 52 years old - Status: Alive Current place of residence: Serbia Father Fabian 51 years old - Status: Alive Current place of residence: America

Friends: Katja Feel free to ask

Bio: Being the only child in the wealthy family, Ana never actually had to take care of anything. Her life was easy, well apart from the argues she had with her dad who was obsessed with the fact that she wasn't born male. He wanted his child to continue his work as a mercenary but as a woman, that would be really hard if not impossible. But Ana being stubborn , wanted to prove differently. She comfronted her parents about her plan and while mother was being against it, her dad was actually really supportive. He even told her an old friend of his held an 'Military Academy' where she could be send to until she gets enough training. Of course, she was thrilled about it, she could finialy make her father proud and do something with her life. So, when she turned 15, she went there instead of going to the highschool. At the beginnig of a progam everyone was assigned a partner they were sopose to spend all the years at the academy with. Her partner was a girl named Isabella who was an orphan and was taken in by the owner. Over years they became close friends. At the age of 18, Ana's parents divorced for the unknown causes besides their marriage always being at the edge. But Ana never found out what was the reason her parents finally decided to divorce. Her mother flew back to their home town, allowing Ana to stay with her father until she finishes academy. When she was 25 Ana finaly finished her time at the academy and she was ready to be hired by her father or at least somebody else. But right after her first mission, she had a nasty accident where she hit her head and lost her memory. She was sent back to her mother, her hair shaved of do to the fact her head wound needed to be stiched up. Luckily she didn't get any other mental dissorter apart from memory loss. She didn't remember who the employeer who hired her was, what she was doing, not even the last days from the academy. Years passed, her hair grew back and when she turned 29 she decided to try her luck as a merc in Teufort. After 2 times of her resume being declined she finaly got hired. And that's where the comic starts~

Other:

Ana is obsessed with cleaning, not to that point where she is a Germophobe but she just likes her stuff clean.

She doesn't know how to swim. (i mean, she is a hydrophobe, what do you expect)

Also she doesn't know how to drive, she never found a reason to.

I didn't add that in the ref sheet, but she is wearing a backpack. I mean, where else would she keep all her traps in. Also that makes her run slower since of the heavy 'luggage'.

She is oftenly mistaken as a guy because of her looks and her behaviour.

Her googles were given to her by her dad and for that reason she wears them most of the time.

Her father is a top surgeon and a very powerful mand.

Quotes:

After killing more then one enemy in 20 seconds: ''Oh wow, i progressed.'' or ''You should've just give up'' Destroying a building: ''They were destroyed as they worked, by being hit.'' Kill assist: ''Hey, we make a pretty good team!'' or ''That was awesome!'' Domination: ''Guess i'm winning then!'' or ''You are pretty weak to be honest.'' Dominating a Scout: ''But i thought you were the fastest one 'ere?!'' or ''I'm sorry kid, better luck next time!'' Dominating a Soldier: ''But you have a granade launcher! Use it!'' or ''And you call yourself a soldier?'' Dominating a Pyro: ''Bruh, you got extinguished.'' or ''Guess i'm to cool for ya, eh?'' Dominating a Demoman: ''Hey, your liver is fallin' out.'' or ''Znas, maybe you could get to my level if you stop drinking.'' Dominating a Heavy: ''Hah! And you call ME small!'' or ''Sasha won't save you now big guy!'' Dominating a Engineer: ''Maybe you should hit your machines harder next time.'' or ''A toaster would show more resistance.'' Dominating a Medic: ''I never even liked doctors.'' or ''Well i guess the one needing healing now is you!'' Dominating a Sniper: ''I don't like Aussies anyways.'' (she honestly has nothing against them, she just likes to annoy the heck outta him) or ''You're skinny as hell, tell me, are you anorexic?'' (<-- that is not me trying to make fun of anorexic people, i'm just trying to get into Ana's personality, she's a douche sometimes) Dominating a Spy: ''But i thought you could get invisible?'' or ''Am good enough now asshole?'' Sudden death: ''Aaah, shit...'' or ''W-what? When?'' Set on fire: ''I'm on fire! Literally!'' or ''I'll rather burn alive then jump into the water!'' Hit by a Jarate, Mad Milk etc: ''Ah! Ewww..." or ''Odvratno!'' /gross/ Teleportation: ''Hey, i didn't know this actually exist!'' or ''Thank you Engie!'' Healed by Medic: ''Thanks, i guess?'' or ''Danke doktore!'' or ''Thanks doctor!'' I'll add more later :T Team Fortress 2 (c) Valve

#team fortress 2 #tf2oc #trapper #original character

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mixeddoctor · 6 years

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Skies Full of Clarity, 0% chance at forgiveness with winds of moving on at 100mph

So I had a pretty rough couple of days. I’m not exactly sure why but I was back to just sobbing at night and I wasn’t telling anyone that me literally crying intermittently for hours was coming on and that’s why I was so tired. It seemed odd timing because Tuesday was an awesome day and Wednesday started amazingly but ended terribly-this is when crying ensued. And to be honest it wasn’t really provoked, it just happened. Well I was watching Bachelor Winter Games actually and wrote a couple ghost emails but usually those make me feel better.

Anyway, I was struggling yesterday and I looked at that damn box full of stuff he left or sent me and I wanted to write a note to go along with the box. I’m not sure why I feel there has to be a note but anyways. I drafted literally 3 different responses before settling on one.

I decided to write it with the first paragraph apologizing coldly for the delay of the receipt of the box. Second paragraph was me saying something about learning to forgive him although who he is and who I thought he was may never have been the same person and that I will never be certain either way and that I would try to wish him well despite not knowing what well means to him anymore. I ended with a few sentences saying not to take the letter as an invitation back into my life or to contact me. “There are lines that can never be uncrossed, deeds that can never be undone and scars that we just have to learn to live with”. I was actually pretty proud of the letter until I realized that I was writing this letter sure for myself, but also to the person I thought he was and if he ended up actually being the asshole I assume now that he is, what I say won’t matter. It means nothing to him because he got what he wanted. He took what he wanted and then took advantage of my vulnerability and confusion afterwards. And then I thought about forgiveness. I have always been a proponent of forgiveness and forgiving those who have hurt you to free yourself. I did it and continue to do it everyday with my biological father. But to forgive him, made me feel weak. Like I was yet again, giving up some of my power. So I looked up on google “are you weak to forgive your rapist” and the variety of answers and responses was cray. Some women were saying that they did not believe in forgiving someone who was never actually sorry for their actions. They didn’t ask for forgiveness so there’s no reason to give it. There were others who said they forgave to be able to move on, despite the lack of apology, and even more still that thought it more important to learn to forgive yourself for the blame and brokeness you put on your own plate. After reading them, I wasn’t sure if I was writing the letter to my rapist or the person who I thought was my friend and who would benefit from a few of my thoughts. So I waited to pack it away.

And today, again I’m watching Winter Games and boom. It hits me. That he really did lie. On more than one level. And that even if he never began this friendship with negative intentions, at some point, maybe when I refused to give up my relationship with my bf for him despite how deep his feelings were, maybe when we got close and yet I still held him at a bit of an emotional distance but he was trying to be all in, whenever, he decided way early on that his needs always superseded mine. And he proved it with the night he raped me. “I just wanted you so bad” is the most selfish thing and was exactly his justification for what he did. He always claimed to be so deeply in love with me and as I was watching this show, people were giving themselves freely, wholeheartedly and with open hearts to their significant other. Two couples, with the choices of going to fantasy suites where it is assumed that you have sex, but what actually happens no one knows, decided not to. And both men gave the decision to the woman and when she said no they respected it and openly stated that they would only enter into that portion of the relationship when she was ready, willing, comfortable... and I sat there and thought... that’s love and respect right there and that’s what no matter how much he protested, he didn’t give me. I don’t remember our first kiss. I don’t remember our first time. Wouldn’t you want your love to be returned in an ultimate physical display of that love? Freely and willingly and something for you to remember... And I saw how they kissed each other and I sat there and thought, bruh, he never caressed my face, he never did anything that would show love during these encounters when those moments should have been exactly the ones to do that in. And it just became so clear. He lied. Even if his feelings were real, he never stopped to think about me or consider me. He was selfish. And love is never selfish. Love is patient and kind. And what he did was the complete opposite. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy and yet he did it to me. No he was not my bf, yes I thought he was my best friend, but in the end, he used whatever he could to get what he wanted. What he truly wanted, I’m not sure. I feel like his feelings were real, and he wanted something with me in the way he wanted it so he did what he thought he had to to get what he wanted. I feel so clear headed now. Like I’m no longer confused on why my best friend would do this, or why he thought it was ok... I think I had to understand that in friendship and all the way to the core of who he is, he is selfish and will do whatever it takes to get what he wants. And I was what he wanted. I was who he wanted. Whether that was because he really loved me or it was a challenge, again I can’t be sure but I want to lean towards the feelings thing. He wanted me and tried to take it and force my hand anyway he could. Man, I’m not sure why this just hit me the way it did. I feel so at peace with this right now it is blowing my mind. I literally feel clear. I don’t think I will forgive him outwardly because it does make me feel weak. I think in my heart I have to forgive him- he had no right to do what he did and his selfishness will come back to haunt him but I forgive his misguided sense of affection and his horrendous selfish acts because I refuse to be held hostage to hating him. Honestly the only thing I do feel is nervousness. The average person who sexually assaults someone does it 10x before they are caught... am I just setting him free on the path to sexually assault another woman. I think that is what worries me. If I were to run into him and another woman, I would be afraid that he has assaulted her or is planning to. I’m not sure how I feel about this but otherwise, I think I’m finally starting on the path to apathy towards him and that is an awesome feeling. So if he apologizes, I will ignore it, because I don’t believe it. If I see him, I will walk on by like he doesn’t exist. I will not be fearful. I will not mourn the loss of a friendship that was never real. It was real to me so I have to mourn my idea of what this friendship was but I think acknowledging that yes I was duped and yes it wasn’t real, will be ok. And I am just going to move on and do excellent things because my power is not reliant in my body, or stuck in the moment where he took a choice away from me... my power is solidified in each day I move on, in each day that I heal, and in each day that I choose happiness over despair.

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jpthakid-blog · 7 years

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◤ being apart of something special, makes you feel special ◢

when a random newspaper enthusiast ( they’re calling themselves reporters now ) asked jp to do an interview about his greek row world, he was elated at first. it wasn’t everyday that someone asked jp about himself ( which everyone should, his life is fucking amazing ), so he was brushing his hair and spraying his body spray as usual, til it dawned on him: what the fuck was he gonna say? not that it wasn’t known, but jp loved to exaggerate certain things about himself & his experiences. for crying out loud his name isn’t even jay patrick - a name he uses, as well as a variant of his real name, often. so, how was he going to play this? honest & deep? fun & action-packed? he didn’t know, but he wasn’t gonna not be himself that was for sure.

the reporter set up his camera in the ekt common room. jp was applying a bit of blush to his cheeks ( yes, he wears make-up, what of it? ) as the guy got out a notepad.

"so, what’s your name, age, grade, role you play in the greek system (president, vice president, social chair, member, pledge) and what house you are in and why you decided on that house”

“first off, how are you? you good? you lookin’ great, lovin’ the hair. don’t evah let someone tell you not to dye your hair blue. over there lookin’ like sexy smurf, you bettah werk, bitch.”

the reporter smiles, running a hand through his hair.

“anyway though, to the folks at home ya’ll can call me jp or jay patrick, but if you wanna write me a check for the fliest mo-fo since space jam, jeremiah merrick is always at your service. i’m 21,” he points to the camera, “who tryna link up for a sex on the beach?” he winks, “i’ma junior, and i’m a member of epsilon kappa tau. ekt till i die!!” he barks, throwing in a dog howl, “this house was a no brainer. check it, we rich, we fly, and we party till we die. we also got a bomb ass color scheme and that’s really important. ain’t nobody tryna be out here in shit brown tryna stomp the yard.”

the reporter snickers "uh, are you a New York native? If not where are you from and what brought you to NYU? Do you like the city life?”

"real talk, i used to hate new york. i’m from north carolina, right, so we loud down there but we not ny loud. you know how fuckin’ annoying it is when you’re not the loudest bitch in a room? like i’m tryna explain myself and this sara ann chick cutting me off with her shenanigans. that’s another thing i won’t get used to -- random people cutting you off mid-sentence. like, damn john you’ll get your turn to talk about your new tanning bed, back back.”

"with all these thoughts you must be a psychology major, right? or a theatre major? If you had to choose another major right this second that had nothing to do with your current one what would you choose?”

jp pauses, “why i gotta be a theatre major? is it ‘cause i’m loud and black?! the nerve!!”

“no, no that’s not ---”

jp starts laughing, “i’m just fuckin’ with you, man. nah, i’m not a theatre major, but that was my second choice. i’m a dance major. i’m a b e a s t with these legs, bruh.”

the reporter takes a deep breath, "you’ve been in the greek life for some time, any crazy stories you can share with us regarding your time in a fraternity? Were you hazed as a pledge?”

“nah, nah, see you tryna trick me into sellin’ out my frat. nah, jp ain’t a snitch.” he folds his arms over his chest, then leans forward, “but, if you tryna pay me then i can tell you what true hides under his bed. hint: it vibrates.”

"speaking of true, what is your relationship with the higher ups in your house, do you think they could be nicer? Meaner? What about your fellow members and the pledges?

“i mean errybody cool in their own way, ya know? i’m not that tight with everyone which is my bad. i don’t like being tied down so i kick it with a lot of people on greek row. but i think true doin’ the damn thing with his faxhawk headed ass. you think there’s a club of hot bald dudes i don’t know about? just a bunch of fuckers runnin’ ‘round shining each other’s head talkin’ about the good ol’ days when they had hair? i think about that every time i look at true. i bet if he bent down i could see my reflection on the side of his head. he cool though.”

unsure how to react, the reporter pulls at his collar and continues, “What, uh, what’s your favorite and least favorite class so far? Are you on any teams or in any clubs? If so how is that?”

jp wets his lips, leaning back in his chair, “favorite’s gotta be film appreciation. i mean it’s a mad early and fucking long class -- that’s the type a class make you rethink why movies gotta be 2 hours long. like damn debbie just suck his dick so we can roll credits. but, nah it’s lit. we just watched, uh, shit what’s it called? run loila run or something like that. it was nice and had like no dialogue. a lot of running though. like that bitch was gone. least favorite is african american writers of the 1920s. my professor picked a lot of slave books, which, i get, ya know, but roarin’ 20s, was that not a thing? i get it, we used to pick cotton, but i swear there was other shit poppin’ off too.” he shrugs, “i’m a cheerleader! ra-ra, bitches! i love every second of it. special shout out to my boo thangs!”

“so you must’ve looked forward to gaining a lot from this school year, then? Is there any event you wished you attended; maybe the first game of the year, or the first debate?”

jp shakes his head, “i don’t try to set some goal like that, that’s that new years type bull that i don’t do. i was just looking forward to growth. bein’ better and fiercer than yesterday. i didn’t make the first game ‘cause i twisted my ankle, but i was back and shakin’ my pom poms all up and through new york by game three, sooooo...”

"If you were asked to put your current most important item into a time capsule what would it be and why? Do you think ten, twenty years from now that item will still hold an importance in your life?”

tilting his head in thought, jp takes a moment to respond, “see, my most important thing can’t be put into a capsule. the most important thing to me is my personality. who i am, what i do, that keeps me goin’. if i bottled that into a capsule the lid wouldn’t even close, my guy, but it’s for damn sure still gonna be important to me years later. i am who i am. i don’t hide that from anyone. i’m loud, effeminate, confident -- proud as fuck.”

"i hear that. What are your thoughts on the other fraternity/sororities apart of Greek row? Is there one house you dislike, is there one you are envious of, is there maybe one you are scared of?”

“you diggin’ for dirt, i see you. out here tryna be the male rita skeeter. but, nah, like i think all the others frats and whatnot are chill. no beef, no qualms. at least on my end. whatever dirt you tryna find, you should point that shovel towards kappa alpha. it’s always some shit with them. it’s like a taco bell bathroom over there 24/7. i’m all for dramatics, but i don’t do drama.”

"well, with that in mind if you had to give three pieces of advice to an upcoming freshman in terms of rushing or being apart of a fraternity what would you tell them?

“stay away from kappa, run bitch, run!!!! nah, i’m fuckin’ with ya. listen, ya gotta listen to your gut and follow through. your instincts are always right. secondly, be you. no one wants to be around a fake person all the time. this isn’t bravo and you are not kenya moore. and lastly, if you’re ever uncomfortable don’t be afraid to speak up. can’t nobody make you feel dirty without your consent. hazin’ or otherwise.”

"Do you actually feel like you are apart of a brotherhood? Is that the most important thing of Greek Life? Why did you choose to go Greek?”

“shhh, don’t say that i’m tryna make true my one and only. why you tryna be incestral?!” jp chuckles, “on the real, i think we can all be closer. go skinny dipping and hold each other’s penises for support type, but yeah. i got brothers for life. i chose greek for the lessons, the parties, and the experience. i never would’ve gone to australia or sucked my 4th dick -- shoutout to juan from club inferno! -- without goin’ greek. so, go greek and suck a dick, kids.”

"this was quite an interview, man. do you wanna sign off with a quote you believe describes your time so far this year?”

“a quote from my carolina beauty maya a always brings me joy. and it goes a lil’ somethin’ like this, ‘My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.’” jp bows.

“thank you, jp.” the reporter shakes his hand.

“thank you, sexy smurf.”

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