#you get bodied three more times
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guess who had to backtrack the entire nightsong confrontation because she assumed the tiefling rescue mission was part of assaulting moonrise towers
#I AM SO DUMB#but. on the bright side I got astarion romance advancement (IM FINE….)#and the funniest Balthazor death ever#okay so story time: imagine you are tunes. you have a bug that’s stopping u from long resting and resetting all ur aoe spells. you don’t yet#realise this bug can be circumvented by an npc killing ur girl then reviving her - you get down to nightsong you prepare to fight#you get bodied three whole attempts.#let’s trying surprising balthazor and not even triggering his opening dialogue you say!#you get bodied three more times#alright! you seethe - unable to use your best buffs and debuffs as a bard#fuck this guy let’s see if we can move his skeletons - see if it changes were the corpses are summoned#so you painstakingly sneak-push every bone pile u can feasibly reach until they’re all piled neatly at the cliff face ready to be walloped#by the grenades you’ve been stockpiling for 60 hours. but you don’t have hope#surely they’re all just going to spawn in the same place anyways and I’m going to have wasted time#you have Shadowheart cast silence - AND LO AND BEHOLD? THE BONES ARE WHERE THEYRE SUMMONED#YOU BODY BALTHAZOR#YOU CACKLE SO LOUDLY THE DOG SLEEPING ON YOUR FEET JERKS AWAKE#YOU LOSE YOUR MIND U CANNOT BELIEVE THIS WORKED#tunes talks bg
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.
#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly#female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE?????#theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri#patalliro#i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen#you blushed - so you must not be a girl#etc#i also love how joyful it all is#theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc#when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing#he awakens to his true power...lol#also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is still 18.#besides making the show more palatable; this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal#according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995#im not going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily#especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended)#yaoi#<- for tagging purposes#obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still!#months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them.#as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually#and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time#even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow
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One thing I really enjoy about transition is when the changes in hormones slow down...
It feels like I am a house settling, shifting ever-so-slightly, and becoming one with this new foundation.
I don't have a "typical" body, but so do the other guys in my family. I look like them now. I've been told I looked like my father when he was a teenager, and I feel as though I am in the mentality I need to be in.
So many people are excited when they get all these new changes all at once, and then they might become disappointed when their second puberty starts to slow down, but I find I am the opposite. I am so much more at peace than I was before, and that's saying something when I was at peace a month into my changes.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#i feel like my experiences are 'atypical' but like... my family is kinda that way#like the guys in my family have the same-ish body type i do so i haven't always been dysphoric about it#i was mostly dysphoric about the fact i don't and can't fit into the 'typical male' archetype#but like... my dad doesn't fit into that at all and nobody gives him shit for it so hey what do i have to contend with#i'm getting close to the three-year mark and from my observations that tends to be where your changes do still happen...#...but it isn't always as quick/intense as it once was. your body tends to settle down y'know? that's where i feel i'm at#like i'd appreciate more body hair on my stomach and my mustache kurtis but that could take a bit and that's okay#it takes years for a cis man with testosterone YEARS for his hair to mature sometimes#and tbh i think we should celebrate that. you are a fine wine; you will only become fuller and richer as time goes on#you'll mature into a full-bodied wine that lingers on your tongue and leaves you craving more#alright i'm done with the wine metaphor because i only know so little about wine and alcohol 👍
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#you know if every house you move into is riddled w ghosts maybe its not the paranormal but the person u r living w...#or maybe the ghosts r trying to warn u abt smth😭#one braincell one braincell one braincell#literally so in sync!!!4!4#Ks hand is getting closer and closer to T on the back of that couch...#yes u should hang out some more. go ahead pls.#(atp not even just words. they say the same sentences at the same time. its happening. they r merging into one.)#compliments!#THE INTIMACY OF KNOWING EACH OTHERS FAMILIES#FOR GODS SAKE. I CANT TAKE IT😭😭😭#cute that we have finally arrived to them admitting that they r besties. we may be actually getting somewhere.#(give them another 10 years and maybe they will manage to actually hang out? dare i dream!)#fucking love this dress on T!!!#they keep finding new and exciting ways to grab and hold eachother🧐#“a three body problem is that im in a committed relationship-” hmmmmmm#K asking T abt videogames! so cutesy!#well at the end T did manage to fuck Ks wig off (just an ep later)#also her hand placement! hello!?#trixie & katya#trixie mattel#katya zamo#iltw#trixya
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all bday illustrations! i feel like something changed in my art style but it's probably just the lineart (+ shading and lighting)
#don't you think it's wild how riku was still 17 when he was first introduced and now he's gonna be 19 this year.#like it's crazy man aimi just turned 17 and akio is still 17 as well DUDE STOP GETTING OLDER!!!#and asahi is gonna be 13.. omg...#fun fact about how time works in linagram: idk how it works in canongram but here the prisoners actually do get older#but i also see it like this: to them it feels like literal months or even years have passed. they're getting older. they're celebrating-#their bdays or other holidays. but when it comes to the outside world its probably been like three days or more. like maybe a week#so when or if they manage to come back i think their bodies will go back to their pre-milgram age. sort of like they went to an alternate-#reality in some way??#if you're wondering the only reason why i decided it won't be as long in the outside world is not bc of their families or friends#SOME OF THEM HAVE PETS. AND THEIR PETS LOVE THEM A LOT. NAOMI LIVES ALONE WITH HER CAT AND THERE'S NO ONE WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF HER#(maybe some family members but do we trust naomi's family. especially her mother)#casually dropping some lore in the tags and leaving byeeeee#👑prisoner 001: miyagawa akio👑#🌸prisoner 002: hanasaki aimi🌸#💔prisoner 003: ishizu shun 💔#🌿prisoner 004: chiba naomi🌿#🍓prisoner 005: sanada kei 🍓#💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎#🍬prisoner 007: yano asahi 🍬#🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀#🎸prisoner 009: kuroki riku 🎸#🎭prisoner 010: himura reina🎭
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Me, opening up a packet of the stuff the vet gave me: “I hope this probiotic powder doesn’t put my cat off his food. Can’t really help with his digestion issues if he doesn’t eat it”
I spill some because my hands can have problems with stability
My cat: *licks the stuff up like a kid who just discovered what powdered sugar was*
Me: “is this flavored?”
My cat: begs me for more powder and momentarily forgets his food
Me: “this has to be flavored”
#emma posts#sometimes him getting excited about new flavors for kitties is good#but other times his love of flavor exploration will lead him to eating a food he’s allergic to#and I can’t figure out what he’s reacting to right away because he just keeps eating the thing that makes his tummy hurt#at least I stop using things I realize cause allergic reactions#you’d think a little guy who doesn’t even know what allergies are would be even more off put by them#he’s so finicky about so many random things! but he loves new foods. especially more expensive ones. and that food was more expensive#this time he is getting a food for upset hairball tummies and has been enjoying it more than his old stuff too#I just hope that him traveling back and forth between his old food at my parents house and new food here causes problems#his old man tummy is getting more sensitive than it used to be and he’s getting a different food now… hopefully. and vitamins while he gets#these probiotics to hopefully make the change easier. I don’t want to jinx it but so far it seems to be really helpful#he hasn’t even gotten one hairball since starting the hairball food! and he loves his new vitamin treats#hopefully he’ll keep doing well with the old kitty vitamin treats#I want him to get his old man vitamins#even if he’s super healthy for his age. it’s good not to get worse!#i would know. as someone who dealt with not eating enough from medication side effects#I’m better now though! I switched meds and take more vitamins just in case#anyway. eating food is important for humans and kitties if you can get it it’s important!#and if your cat doesn’t get or absorb enough food they could get permanent damage to their bodies. never let your cat go more than three#days without food! try to make sure that they eat at least every 12 hours#they might not need as much food as you. but they can get a lot sicker a lot faster than humans usually do#I can ramble on and on about cat health though 😅 I just love my little guy so much#combo of better food formulated for hairballs and not giving him an allergic reaction with the probiotics too seems to be helping a lot#i knew cheap food wasn’t usually quite as good as the slightly more expensive stuff but holy shit. since moving out and now switching food#it’s been going so well for him! maybe I should ask my family to change the other cats food. I just hope that an extra 9$ a bag isn’t#off putting for them. i feel like fewer hairballs should be a great selling point
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Vent piece idk
Ok to reblog but ignore the fucking tags hhh
#Charles ii of spain#Charles ii#Carlos ii#17th century#You know I havent really spoken about the grief of losing your mobility but it is so much more than that#It's also the loss of your freedom physically and socially#And it eats you alive the longer it draws out. I mourn everything i cant do and everything i could.#It's also a financial nightmare having to go to the hospital and being unable to take public transport#AND losing your job#I know it's not a lot compared to what a lot of people have gone through but#The strain has literally killed me i cry like two to three times a week now#And i just dont know when its going to get better or what worse is in store#Or how much ive fallen behind even when it does physically get better#Also there's the autism thing about freaking out if ur body doesn't remain the same so fun fun#So anyway ive thought about committing a LOT since june!! Hahahhahahahah
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oh - when my nephew was here he also told me that my mother said medication doesn't have any effect on hunger.
hahaha that's so fucking funny, I'm gonna scream :)
(was just reminded of this because I feel like I'm starving. because of my new meds. when without them... I don't really feel hungry until many hours after I should have eaten.)
#literally how can you say something so fucking stupid when you have zero experience with it yourself#I mean that's just what she does. always and about everything. but this one is particularly infuriating#I bet it came up because they were talking about my weight. and it wouldn't have been nice :) so that's just. awesome to know.#anyway yeah I literally feel COMPLETELY different when I'm on certain antidepressants. they make me hungry ALL THE TIME. and not slightly#hungry like hm I could eat. nope. so hungry that it feels like I'm starving only a few hours after I've had a meal#but sure! you know better! totally!#and it's LITERALLY in the damn information leaflet as a common side effect. for like three different meds I'm on. but no it's just because#I'm stupid :)#(for context. my mother is the most openly and proudly fatphobic person ever. she will very loudly talk about a fat person's body when they#are only a couple meters away. she hates fat people. so. this isn't a neutral statement coming from her. it's filled with hate and disgust#and I'm fucking sick of this shit. literally I'd feel so much more comfortable in my body if she were dead. it's the biggest hurdle to#getting over my own internalised fatphobia. my first thought is usually something she would say. it fucking sucks.)#tw fatphobia
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good evening I'm a bit fucked rn#last night was so fun but my body feels like complete shit#would do it again but next time I need to drink more water I think cause oughh the pain#psychedelicks are based as fuck though I never felt any nausea even though that's supposed to be common for what I took#did my extraction and removing of the nauseating compounds well i g 😊 ...or my nausea meds helped idk... ahaha...#as for today I'm... playing lethal company with some friends which tbh idk much about other than it being a monster game#supposed to be like phasmophobia or something?#anyway yuh it seems fun enough but I'm a bit out of it still both from pain and just the side effects hitting @@#hopefully that passes for our project moon ttrpg later... took three diff pain medicines cause it's p bad awawa...#excited to play Frei again... it has been so long... i hope he gets poisoned and dies cause he's the worse OC I have (affectionate)#anyway let's try and make today good friends... love you all... ow...#oh yeah I passed out listening to draining love story and ohgh... was such a good experience while so fucked up... had such vivid dreams...
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i hate it here was DEFINITELY written during the travis kelce era
#like....y'all#use your reading/listening comprehension#the songs are generally in chronological order#with joe being the exception -- her feelings about that relationship ending are haunting here#they keep coming up no matter how hard she tries to repress them and move on#the last thing she wanted was to think about how devastated she was after she and joe finally ended things#ratty heely is clearly the immediate rebound she could glom onto to forget and project -- and it worked!#except it didn't and she knew that the whole time#and she's entitled to that.#anyway#“like you're a poet trapped in the body of a finance guy” could refer to any of the three most recent publicly known exes#but i think it's the other half of the guy she swoons over in the alchemy and so high school#this album more than any other besides speak now relies on extended metaphor#and this is late in the album to introduce a new dimension of the previous men she's sung about on this album#which means it's most likely someone new#and keep in mind a lot of this album reminds her more intense audience that they do NOT actually know her or her life#so it makes sense that there'd be an equal opposite negative to each positive about travis kelce she's sung about#she's not an unfair songwriter#and don't get me started on how many people are willfully misreading certain lines of thanK you aIMee
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as usual i am up late into the night planning my future when i should be: getting a good nights sleep so that i even have a future!!
#i have work in seven and a half hours. so i should really be getting to bed#BUT i officially made my final definitive degree plan!!!! i mean not the actual classes but all the requirements i have to meet and how!!#(in order to earn: history and information science double major. with certificates in material culture and classics)#and i’m genuinely excited for every single class i have to take except for human-computer interaction#just cause i know it’s gonna get overly technical in ways that won’t quite apply to my future#anyway every single other thing i’m gonna do is very cool and exciting. so everything is good really#but i should be sleeping. and i’m not. as usual 🤧#idk wish me luck!!!! i’m so hyped about my degree plan though#i’ll go into more detail another time. i’m very excited#ANYWAY goodnight!!!! can’t be so busy planning my future in library science that i DONT GO TO MY SHELVING JOB#kind of important to actually go to work for the library that employs me….#and then i might go see a first-printing roget’s thesaurus!!!! or i’ll sleep. we’ll see#followed by lunch with GUY WHO IS THE WORST KILL HIM WITH HAMMERS#(there is nothing really wrong with me he just keeps kind of being mean to me and also expecting me to fall in love with him. but like#extremely passively and not manipulatively it’s just like. hey buddy you’re doing this friendship wrong….)#anyway then i have a class and after that i have an hour to rest. and then a phone call and then a lot of homework#(ten page paper draft due in a week and a half!! so it’s time to start writing the actual body of it)#and then i sleep for a LONG time and then work again on saturday. and then sleepover with somebody i have a crush on??#and then be normal all day on sunday and do a little more paper writing. and programming homework. and whatever else#and then keep up with the slog for three weeks!!!! and all of a sudden it’s summer!!!!#projects left this year: material culture paper (entirely unstarted. but may research the thesaurus and just win!!!!)#history project (draft due the monday after next and real paper due a week after classes end)#one more programming assignment where i adapt my recipe doubler project (probably. it’s getting stupid at this point but it’s what i got!!)#and a programming test in two weeks and then the final a week after that. then no more programming#and then i just have my weekly latin tests and a latin final on may 5th. and then EVERYTHING IS DONE#ok i got this. sorry for walking through my schedule in the tags it’s how i remember what’s real#can’t believe my fucking partner just kind of walked out on me there hello???? like. we should be powering through finals together#but i’m genuinely better off without him so i guess it’s just whatever. trash took itself out or something??#anyway. i’m so regular. and i have work in the morning. and i’m going to sleep#thank you world. goodnight
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#I haven't been online much#i live on discord and my mental health has been declining by the day#i hate the people that are supposed to be my friends in uni#and I hate myself for keeping up this act that I don't#im anxious all the time and I feel like depression is for real approaching#im going to the uni therapist in a few weeks as I decided that it might be good to get tips on being stable#i made an appointment when I was doing well three or four weeks ago#well this week was the intake meeting and bro bro I can't believe myself#i spent a year crying and growing and healing and everything and Im still at this shitty place#and the worst is that I know I have grown and that I am doing much better but I don't see any results#I don't necessarily feel better in my skin because I haven't struggled eith my body since high school#yeah I guess I know self worth now but do I still hurt myself by staying in that friend group yes#yeah Im more confident asked many people out but I have gotten to date two which you couldn't even call date 2#well here I am still fucking crying about the same things#i guess life is like that but I'm just as sick of this life as I am of my anxiety#already cancelling plans and things I wanna do because of anxiety#so just fuck my life Im the only one standing in my way but im the biggest obstacle#will I ever be good? i guess we will see
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My brain: time for emotions
Me, knowing why but also just wanting to go to sleep: oh, okay
#part of it is I think cause my sister had just a really rough night and was emotional#and another I think is just kind of realizing that people I thought I’d share stuff with…I won’t anymore because of the crap that happened#two or so years ago…guess it’s that thing where you grow around your grief but sometimes it still hits you know?#anyways I should get to bed to give my body the sleep it needs to hopefully feel better but emotions be out here tonight#I could go into more details but I gotta wait…#on another note I really wish the chosen wasn’t releasing three episodes at once#like bro I could barely handle two in theatres last time…😂#prayers appreciated I guess just….life and still missing people even though I know it wasn’t healthy for me to stay#(this isn’t church hurt related I’m still working through that though too 😅)#aceo rambles
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So you know that time that the Doctor got eaten by that reaper in Father’s Day and he only lived bc Pete Tyler made the time line go back to how it was supposed to be?
This might be nonsense, but I just gotta say, the Doctor would not survive that somehow if it hadn’t been reversed, he’d just be dead
The Master on the other hand….
#i always see that as the time the doctor actually died for some reason#eaten by a fucking time creature#this just came to mind for some reason at three am#and my head was initially like this is FACT#master would SOMEHOW live but even the doctor would not#but maybe he would bc he’s the doctor#i mean he did#but ya gotta reverse time for that#this is gonna keep getting more ridiculous if i go on#i should go to sleep#so the master’s spirit would exit his body and then he’d somehow possess the reaper#and then he’d just be spooky ass flying creature that can eat people for awhile#even tho the reapers seem almost mystical(?) in nature and beyond something like possession#i don’t care the master defies reality by stubbornness alone#then maybe he’d go back to a more humanoid form after causing some terror#this was fine until reaper!master i feel#ignore my nonsense if you wish#doctor who#doctor who father’s day#the master#okay maybe the doctor actually died in turn left too#i haven’t seen it in awhile#but that one seemed more reversible somehow
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SNORK FUCKING MIMIMI
#my day started at 11AM. ELEVEN. AM. let that sink in. and has just now ended at 3am. (three in the morning. am. 3am. three am.)#i am SLEEPY i cant feel MY LEGS#like we all got ready at 11am. we went to spoons breakfast. we pre'd until like 2/3#AND THEN WE WENT TO THE HORSE RACES! BC THERE WAS A STUDENT DAY THING! IT WAS SO FUN! MUCH BETTER THAN LAST TIME!#and we were there until like? 9? i think?#and then we come home to get our shit together. had a chinese. drank some more. and then we went to the club#and we stayed until close bc when i TELL YOU the dj did not play a single skip song#it was just banger after banger i think ive lost my voice#but oh my god my POOR LITTLE LEGS#I WAS IN HEELS THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS AT THE RACES#6/7 HOURS IN HEELS JUST TO TAKE THEM OFF TO GO CLUBBING??? OW#IM GOD'S STRONGEST SOLDIER TBFH#ALL THAT WAITRESSING DID ME GOOD APPARENTLY MY FEET ARE STRONGER THAN SISYPHUS ON THEIR OWN#FUCK THAT ROCK BOY#ow. ow ow ow. but it was such a good day so idc. i met a guyyyyy <3#i also fucking body checked this one girl and i feel a bit bad bc she was so clearly having her teen coming of age moment in the club#like white girl dancing hands over her head twirling etc. unfortunately for her AND ME that involved bumping into me repeatedly#and like? she kept turning to us to try make us dance with her but me and my mates were having a lot of fun in our little trio so we didn't#which yeah maybe that was mean but tbh if someone did that to me id take no for an answer the first time instead of repeatedly doing it#like she was acting like she was empowering us and freeing us from the shackles of insecurity when rlly we were just like girl no#and she WOULD NOT GET THE FUCK OFF ME like zero spacial awareness to her#the irony of clubs is like yeah obvs ur surrounded by people but it's also looked down upon if ur seriously in someone's space#so i just wasn't having it and in the end i just fully fucking SHOVED her off lmfaoooo. sorry girlie <3#like i felt embarassed for her bc of it like she was so in her own little world and i absolutely ruined it but idc#be aware of other people and their comfort bitch!#anyway yeah it was very fun all in all <3#hella goes to uni
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